debate issue 20, 2011 by Debate Magazine

issue 20 2011

20 5 Editorial 6 Creative Corner 7 Letters 8 AuSM Movie Screening Photos 9 News 10 How To/Recipe 11 Pres Sez/AuSM Update 12 News Quiz 12 Tri-Bi-Bi Nations? 13 Fearless Predictions

on the cover

Auckland Nightsky Antonio Avretto

Scott Moyes gives predicts what will go down during the Rugby World Cup

14 Media Privacy 15 Libya, What Comes Next? 15 First World Problems 16 New Zealand’s Next Top Govenor

editor

Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

designer

Deanne Antao

sub-editor

Sophie Putze looks at which Party Leader deserves to strut their stuff in Parliament

17 Am I Bothered?

Hazel Buckingham asks why Kiwis can’t be bothered putting two ticks

18 An Interview With David Cunliffe 21 Top 10 Celebrity Power Couples 22 Puzzles Page 24 Too Many, If Any

Alisha Lewis

contributors

advertising contact

25 Columns

26 Suggestions/Horrorscopes 27 Agony Aunt 28 Fashion

Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

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Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

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Andrea Manahan talks about why NZNTM is such a bore

29 What Are You Wearing 30 Reviews 33 Spot the Difference 34 Microcelebs

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issue 20 2011

reception

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t the beginning of this year, I knew that at some point I would have to tackle an editorial on politics, you know since it’s an election year (although I’d forgive you for thinking the only thing of note in the latter half of 2011 was some sporting tournament). To say I wasn’t looking forward to it was an understatement. Politics has never been my thing. I never had ambitions of being the prime minister when I was in primary school and watching John Key meet President Obama doesn’t give me chills. That’s what political nuts get, right? Chills? The political section doesn’t get much eye-time when I’m on news websites; in fact, I think I could count on my hands how many times I’ve actually clicked on that political logo. Thanks to social media sites, whenever something big happens in politics – like politicians watching porn or clearing out fast food restaurants –I can count on the most politically minded of my followers to throw in their two cents. If it gets particularly juicy, I’ll click on an article link, but you won’t catch me engrossed in Parliament TV on a Thursday afternoon to see which MP is wearing a rugby jersey. (I turned on Parliament TV once during my final year of Communications and ended up falling asleep.) My family aren’t big political nuts either – they’re more sports-orientated (another “favourite” subject of mine) – and it wasn’t until the last election that I even knew who they voted for. But somehow, when I turned 18, I felt a swell of pride at being able to vote. Finally, the government would know what I thought and who I wanted to lead. I didn’t automatically change channel when Helen Clark or John Key came on screen because I wanted to know what they were going to do for me (I was a second year student at the time of the last general election). When Election Day rolled around I made a big fuss about into my booth (somehow wearing the exact opposite colours to who I was voting for), ticking my two boxes and watching the results on television later that night. It is probably the most active I have been in politics in all my life. Three years later, my political flame has burned out, just like many other New Zealanders. The voting turnout tells us that Kiwis don’t seem to care about who leads their country. We all know that is not true – randomly ask people on the street about the state of our government and you’ll get more than your money’s worth. But we aren’t destined to have a politically rich society like other countries. You won’t see thousands crowding around the Beehive to see the next prime minister being sworn in, like you would in America. It’s also not likely that you’ll spark up riveting conversation by mentioning party policy in a bar on a Friday night. But I know there are some of you out there that go bananas over poll numbers like others do box office figures. So this issue is for you. And for the rest, make sure you give it a read. Coming into the final week of uni before the break, you’re going to need all the smarts you can get.

vesbar

Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff & student executive and information on clubs visit:

www.ausm.org.nz

Corner The winning piece for Creative day for a will win one free hot drink each *! Piko from k wee only. The *Coffee, tea and hot chocolate k a day for drin hot free one have will er winn they day the from ting star , five week days redeem their first drink.

Yu, Xiaoyi (CC) Panda Bunny

Tamsyn Solomon Madoka

Martin Hofsteede Rangitoto

issue 20 2011

Letter of the week wins two movie tickets for Event Cinemas!

Letter of the week: Hi Debate, In your review of the album Watch the Throne, you proceed to print some of the lyrics where they drop the ‘n’ bomb and you print the word freely with no issue then you proceed to censor it when you talk about a song with the same word in it’s title you have some of the letters starred out, whether its you or not the song title only had the ‘stars’ there to appear pc, but since you printed it the first time i would have appreciated it if you stuck with one or the other not both, pick one and not both cause you offend people in the future. signed a NWA Response from debate: Thanks for writing in and making us aware of this issue. We should have caught the inconsistency between the lyrics and the song title and gone with the censored version both times. While Kayne and Jay-Z are known for their controversy, debate sincerely apologises for any offence this review may have caused.

debate letters policy: Letters need to make it into debate’s mailbox before Wednesday, 3pm each week for the following issue. You must give us your name when submitting letters to be eligible for letter of the week, but you can use a pseudonym for publication if you wish. Any letters longer than 250 words may be subjected to editing. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. The editor reserves the right to decline without explanation. Most importantly, the views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to debate@aut.ac.nz or if you want to kick it old school, PO Box 6116, Wellesley St, Auckland.

few friends who could maybe refer me to their old positions. All to no avail! I’m wondering if you could perhaps write an article with any job searching tips or CV tips, ANYTHING that would help somebody like me get a job. Another annoying thing is that employers prefer people with experience, but everyone has to start somewhere right? Thanks for any help at all! Amy Response from debate: Sorry debate can’t help you out with an actual job but if you check out issue 18 of the mag (has the ominous forest on the cover) you will find a two page article on job hunting, CV and covering letter tips, and how to act in an interview. If you don’t have a copy on hand, check out the debate archive section on the AuSM website, www.ausm.org.nz. Good luck with the job hunt!

McDonalds, Macca’s or McD’s. Whatever you want to call it, they are everywhere. While walking up to university everyday I pass three, with one of them just opened up conveniently outside my form In regards to what Hazel Buckingham wrote in of transport; Britomart train station. For some the previous debate, ‘Mo money, Mo problems’ etc, this may be a dream come true as the distance she mentions that ‘she takes initiative and manages between them and their magical feast may have to find a job every time she looks.’ I myself have been condensed into a few metres. However for been looking for a part time job for the better part my fellow pairs and I this is just another tempting of the past two years and am really giving up hope treat that is contributing to my almost out of of finally finding a job! I’ve trawled through job reach summer body. Who is to blame, the world sites, been referred a few times through SJS, gone to cup of course. Yes there is money to be made; yes stores and dropped off my CV and even talked to a it is contributing to the tourism industry in New

Zealand but what about the ever so expanding waistline of New Zealand citizens. Do we really need all these fast food outlets everywhere? When the world cup is finished and everyone leaves, all we are going to be left with is a few party poppers rolling round, some more money and an obesity problem. Why should we change our country for all these new visitors? More money to create more food outlets is not going to fix this expanding problem throughout New Zealand. Dear Debate, I have really been enjoying the recent issues of Debate. They keep me entertained at the breakfast table, in my Monday lectures while doing the Spot the Difference, Quiz and Wordfinds. However, I am sad because I have yet to win those Velvet Burger vouchers that sound so delicious and appetising. Having had Debate on the breakfast table for the last two weeks, the most frequent reader turned out to be my brother who’s a student at AU and he comments on how much more readable and non-IQ damaging Debate is compared to Craccum. I want to say thanks to Samantha, who works really hard to put it together each week with fresh content. Though I know the submissions in the creative corner are out of your control, I would like to see more art and short stories in there. :) Thanks to everyone at Debate for bringing to us such entertaining reading content every week. F. Dragon

In your final year at Uni? You could be part of a world first ... The Graduate Longitudinal Study New Zealand aims to determine the ongoing impact of a tertiary education on your life. This will be the most comprehensive study of graduates the world has ever seen. Are you invited? www.glsnz.org.nz facebook.com/gradstudy

issue 20 2011

Photos by Anupam Singh

The easy way to get around the City

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Although hackers tend to go after academic staff because they have more access to confidential information, there’s nothing stopping them from targeting students and that has been done in the past, says Green. AUT advertising department lecturer/creative director Dave Brown says third year students enrolled in advanced art direction are working with AUT security to create an effective poster campaign that addresses the hacking issue. The opportunity will provide students with a project for their portfolio as well as benefitting the university. “The industry we service is looking for people who can hit the ground running in a commercial context,” says Brown. The posters will be displayed on computer screens and the wall in front of the construction site for the WG building. The campaign is expected to be up and running by late September.

A Y NY

new campaign warning AUT staff and students about the dangers of replying to spam emails is being developed by third year advertising students. Director of ICT services Liz Gosling says most of the scam emails come in from overseas. “Typically what these hackers are trying to do is take over your email account so they can use it to spam other people.” Universities are particularly vulnerable because staff email addresses are made easy for potential students to find, says Gosling. “As a student before you came here you might have wanted to know who might teach you and what their background was so we tend to make those kinds of details quite publically available.” Miles Fordyce, director of the CIO office at the University of Auckland, agrees universities are often targeted. “Millions of [spam] emails hit the university each month but we have reasonably strong protection and so the majority of it is captured before it reaches people’s inboxes,” he says. AUT security manager Brian Green says the academia here tends to receive more spam at the start of a new semester. “It’s not so much a spear fishing campaign where an individual is targeted but we as an organisation are targeted because of the number of new staff we get,” he says. The awareness programme will emphasise the need to lock devices such as computers and mobile phones and protect staff passwords along with all AUT information.

by Karina Abadia

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AUT Staff Attacked by Spam (not the canned ham kind)

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news

Your new LINK around town

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ST L UKES

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T E K R A M W NE

For further information on LINK bus routes, timetables and prices, visit www.maxx.co.nz/LINK

maxx.co.nz/LINK 09 366 6400 www.ausm.org.nz

SERVICE BROUGHT TO YOU BY AUCKLAND TRANSPORT & NZ BUS

Easy peasy chicken pie by Moon Lee

by Alicia Crocket Serves 5 Gluten free if potato topped. Cost per serve: $2.45

Group fitness classes eliminate the problem of going solo at the gym by getting people together who want the same training. They also provide a motivational instructor to offer supervision and support. In group classes, participants are guided through the entire routine from beginning to end. Generally speaking, group fitness classes are designed to be effective in working out your entire body, to make it toned and strong. Some other benefits to group fitness classes are: a. Motivation Sometimes we just need an extra kick to keep us going through the extra bit of the training. Training in a group can definitely provide this very kick to push laziness and other negative thoughts out of your mind. Seeing others working hard will surely inspire you to keep up with the entire group. And eventually you’ll get the result you are longing for. b. Fun The classes are normally energetic and, most importantly of all, FUN. Generally speaking, most classes have energetic music that keeps your morale high and pushes you through the workout. c. Saving Money/Time Not everyone can afford personal trainers at the gym. If you want to have a quick, effective workout session, with professional supervision at the same time, group fitness classes are for you. Most of the group fitness classes are explosive and energetic, which makes the time pass fast. So you can have a maximum workout in a short period of time. If you cannot afford PT sessions and you are running a bit tight with your schedule, joining group fitness classes is the solution! d. Competition Exercising with others brings out the ego in all of us. Being able to keep up with the class is a great way to push beyond your boundaries and achieve your goals. When the instructor is shouting “just 10 more seconds!”, it’s easier to push yourself a little more to finish out the set with the rest of the class. e. Proper Instruction Correct technique is important in any workout for the prevention of injury and to maximise results. In group fitness classes, instructors monitor the progress and the intensity of the exercises to make sure everyone is working out with correct technique. Also, joining group fitness classes is a great chance to learn new moves with proper instruction. f. Making New Friends Interaction with other class members who share common interests is a great way to meet new people and make new friends. You get to talk to people you wouldn’t normally meet. You’ll want to go back for each class to workout with your new friends! AUT has a broad range of classes from yoga to pump, freestyle cardio to outdoor running club. Visit the AUT Fitness Centres (City and North Shore campus) or give us a call for details and timetables. So…what are you waiting for, put on your workout gear and join the classes now.

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In winter, I love a good pie, but they can take a long time to make. Here’s a super quick pie recipe which can be in the oven 20 minutes after you get home. If you have leftover potato, use that to top the pie or buy some pre-made pastry sheets. The pastry used here is a recipe I stumbled across when I was going to do a potato top pie and discovered at the last minute I only had one wee potato. It’s not the most flaky pastry in the world, but it’s a pretty good considering you can whip it together in about five minutes with four ingredients.

Ingredients

Pie 400g boneless chicken chopped into cubes 2 cups of vegetables (leeks, mushrooms, celery, carrots, peas, frozen mixed veges) 1 Tbsp oil ½ cup stock, white wine, water etc (I use ½ wine, ½ stock) ¼ tsp dried tarragon ¼ tsp dried thyme 50ml sour cream Salt and pepper to taste

Pastry (makes top only, double these amounts for both bottom and top) 1 cup flour (all white, or half white and half wholemeal) ½ tsp salt ¼ cup oil 2 Tbsps water or milk

Directions 1 Preheat your oven to 180°C

If you are making pastry do this first so it can chill in the fridge while the rest of the meal is cooking 2 Sift flour and salt into a bowl, add water and milk and mix together with your hands until it is just combined into dough. If you over mix the pastry, it will be tough 3 Wrap the pastry glad wrap and leave in the fridge until required 4 Cut your chicken, brown it in the oil and then add water/stock/ wine 5 Bring to the boil, put the lid on and cook for five minutes or until chicken is cooked 6 While the chicken is cooking, cook your veges. I like to sauté fresh veges in a little oil until they are soft. If you’re using frozen veges you can skip this step 7 Once the chicken is cooked, if you have too much liquid you can boil the remaining liquid until you have the right amount of sauce for your pie 8 Add sour cream and vegetables to the chicken and sauce and put into your pie dish 9 Roll out dough and put it over the pie. If the pastry breaks when you pick it up just push it together on top of the pie 10 Cut a couple of small holes in the top of the pie to allow steam out and cook in the oven at 180°C for 20 minutes or until the pastry is cooked and golden issue 20 2011

Veronica Ng Lam AuSM President 921 9999 ext 8571

veronica.nglam@aut.ac.nz Greetings my fellow AUT Titans! Often our time here at uni just seems to be a blur of weeks passing us by and sometimes before we realise it, we’re at the end and it’s time to get ready for it to start all over again! Don’t be a bystander to your own life, don’t stand in the middle and watch people pass you by. Choose your direction (it might not be the right one to begin with) and GO! For you it’s a time to discover yourself in the environment you’re in. There will be challenges, there will certainly be times when you want to throw in the towel and surrender, and as much as there are bad times there will also be a time for victory, a time for success and achievement. If I could offer you a small piece of advice this week it would be to LIVE! As Oscar Wilde says, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all”. So get involved, stay focused and remember you have so many people who have faith and belief in you! The voluntary student membership bill (VSM) has found its way back into the final reading processes and so there is definitely some pressure around this issue with the biggest threat of the student voice! This voluntary membership bill will mean increased costs for you as a

student, it will mean diminished services (so things like free feeds, free gigs/entertainment, free movies might no longer be free). Ultimately, this Bill undermines the collective voice that we as students have, it takes away our power to be the independent body that operates to keep AUT honest, and worst of all it takes away the one organisation that stands up to represent you against the university. Nominations for your student executive council are now are closed, and now we move onto the next phase of our elections where we will be presented with the candidates who have put their names forward to represent your views next year. In reflection of being your student president this year, there is so much power in having the student voice present around a table of AUT discussions. Whilst many of you will never see the measure of this, I can assure you if AUT started increasing fees, levies, student service costs 100 per cent, taking core services away from you (with no one holding them accountable) only then would you appreciate the dedication and pleasure that AuSM has in always advocating for you! If you want to go for a position that is vacant due to no nominations, please get in touch with me and I will and assist you. Lastly, I wanted to pay tribute to the Chile students who are now in their second month in strike in advocating for quality public education for ALL! They have been doing all sorts of crazy stunts and definitely making their mark for what they believe in. To help support them they want photos of people at monumental venues or places so get some friends together and take some photos – real easy! If you want to further support their cause please email me but what a great example of how powerful the student voice is! Best wishes for your last week of classes before a much needed two week break! Your fellow president in solidarity and peace

Veronica

Clothes Swap coming to AUT! We are super excited to announce that AuSM will be hosting a Clothes Swap at AUT! Mark September 29 in your diaries and start raiding your wardrobes for clothes, kicks and accessories to swap!

How it works:

Each item will receive a token which you can exchange for other threads at the Clothes Swap. High quality gear will get you a gold token and these gold tokens are the only way to get your hands on other high quality items. All other clothes will be traded for green tokens. Those with the most tokens will get first entry into the swap so time to raid your family, boyfriend, girlfriend, kids or grandparents of their unwanted clothing! Call for stylists! We will be starting the event with a runway fashion show. Ten style-savvy AUTers will use their skills to style their model with items from the swap

www.ausm.org.nz

and will battle it out down the runway. Contact kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz if you are interested in being a stylist on the day. Want to volunteer – email kate. campbell@aut.ac.nz

Bitchin’ Bingo – but don’t bring your Nana!

Bingo Mistress Viv is back this week for Bitchin’ Bingo at Vesbar. Kickin’ off on Wednesday at 6.30pm – this is a night not to be missed! It’s bingo but not as you know it… with great prizes every round from meat packs to bar tabs. AuSM brings you Bitchin’ Bingo FREE so we’ll see you there!

11.

Which one of these players did not make the World Cup All Blacks’ squad? a) Zach Guildford b) Hosea Gear c) Colin Slade d) Israel Dagg

What was the magnitude of the earthquake that hit America’s East Coast last week, which was centred in Virginia? a) 5.4 b) 5.9 c) 6.1 d) 6.3

Which celebrity was recently named the most photogenic celebrity ever? a) Jennifer Aniston b) Audrey Hepburn c) Marilyn Monroe d) Elizabeth Taylor

Which New Zealand sporting coach recently announced they would be stepping down in October, after almost 10 years in the position? a) Silver Ferns coach Ruth Aitken b) New Zealand Sevens coach Gordon Tietjens c) Tall Blacks coach Nenad Vucinic d) All Blacks coach Graham Henry

a) 69 b) 70 c) 71 d) 72

What is the Guinness World Record for the world’s tallest man? a) 7’6” b) 7’9” c) 8’1” d) 8’3”

How old is Dame Helen Mirren?

Who is the CEO of Apple?

a) Steve Jobs b) Tim Cook c) Bill Gates d) Nick Pitera

What is the national animal of Scotland?

a) Unicorn b) Bulldog c) Red Kite d) Mute Swan

Sports broadcaster Graeme Moody died last week from what? a) Food poisoning b) Surfing accident in Australia c) Hit by a bus d) Heart attack What music artist or group is coming to Auckland in February next year? a) The Bangles b) Robyn c) Roxette d) The Go-Gos

Answers: B, B, D, C, A, C, B, A, B, C.

sports by Paul Stevens

Another Tri Nations has come to an end and, at the time of print, it looks like New Zealand will win again this year. A dominant performance once more in the competition from The All Blacks has shown Australia and South Africa they really are the bench mark team in the Southern Hemisphere. But are we not bored of the Tri Nations? Winning is great, but against the same two teams year in, year out? Wouldn’t it be nice to spice things up in the Southern Hemisphere’s hallmark rugby competition? I would like to draw your attention to a few rugby mad nations who live quite close to New Zealand. They are Tonga, Samoa and Fiji. World Cups past are full of games where island teams have pushed the larger nations all the way, only to fall at the last hurdle due to a superior fitness of the bigger rugby nations. The big occasions definitely suit the island teams. Samoa recently delivered Australia a huge shock by defeating them in a World Cup warm up game in Sydney. What a game that was, with bone crunching hits and running rugby

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that would in no way be out of place in the Tri Nations. The quality and entertainment factor is there, so why the issue? Argentina will debut in the competition next year which brings the competition to four teams. Surely the inclusion of Tonga, Fiji and Samoa would create a larger tournament that would showcase the best of Southern Hemisphere rugby. For those who will argue that the majority of international Island players play in the Northern Hemisphere competitions, the answer is that the Tri Nations coincides with the end of the rugby season in the Northern Hemisphere. If the Northerners can create an international tournament with six teams and make it work then why can’t we do it in the south. Island nations can also benefit from developing their players against some of the best players in the world. It is common knowledge that to be the best you have to beat the best. By playing against the best players in the world, skills are honed, motivation to become better is instilled and competition and

rivalry are increased. No need to shaft the full Fijian, Tongan and Samoan teams to the Pacific Nations cup anymore. Let them have their chance against the ‘big boys’ and see how they fare. With so many Pacific Islanders in New Zealand there would be no problem with support for the island teams if they were to be based in New Zealand during the Tri Nations. That way they can play in larger stadiums with the chance of attracting bigger audiences than they would if their home games were in the islands. The one-off tests the island teams do appear in earn them revenue which is invaluable for the development of rugby in their homelands. Allowing them into the Tri Nations opens up more revenue streams and a chance to earn more money for their players. Surely fans are bored of the same three teams playing each other every single year. What harm can it do to introduce nations that bring flair, running rugby, passion and huge tackles? It is good for the fans and the development of rugby? Everyone’s a winner.

issue 20 2011

sports by Scott Moyes

No more mucking around. The time has come to put everything on the line and tell it how it is. Rugby World Cup 2011 is going to smell a little like this:

10: Dave Dobbyn is going to massacre the nation with Loyal

Not so much a prediction as it is a certainty. Not a sporting event goes by without double D belting out the anthem. Sorry, but it’s getting old. Maybe switch to Something in the Water? Or if we lose the final, Something the Opposition put in our Dinner?

9: A ‘whollyshitballs’ score

It happens with any World Cup where a sport is dominated by just a few countries. You see it in cricket when India spank half a dozen sixes off each Zimbabwe over. The same goes for rugby. There’s going to be at least one century on offer here. I’m tipping South Africa against Namibia, 112-5. You heard it here first.

8: England will piss everyone off

They do it every time. They come to the World Cup. They play a boring style of rugby with a massive pack of forwards. But they have a knack for winning. Perhaps the biggest threat to the All Blacks campaign should they be able to dominate and give the likes of Carter and Nonu little room to move.

7: John Key will get amongst it

The guy doesn’t miss an opportunity. Whether it’s gossiping with Letterman or giggling with Elton at the Royal Wedding, he’s there. Re-activate your Bebo account. You might just find a friend request from J-Dog.

6: Something something ‘Eden Park’

The Cup’s key stadium will come under the spotlight in some way or another. It may be unruly crowds. It may be irresponsible Mexican waves. But mostly likely, it will be the line for the urinal that stretches out the gate.

www.ausm.org.nz

5: Robbie Deans will be sacked as the Wallabies coach

The guy has had enough time to get his squad prepared. If he can’t lead the Australians to at least the final, his head will be on the line. Unfortunately you can’t argue with results in the coaching gig.

4: A major injury

Without trying to be Buzz Killington, I just feel like one is on the horizon for the boys in black. We head into the cup with a healthy squad. Everything appears to be going according to plan. But of course nothing ever goes to plan in a World Cup (as covered in Chapter 2007).

3: A refereeing balls-up

Not a World Cup goes by without a complete raspberry. It’s the forward pass that wins the game or the ball that went out, but was called in which resulted in the end of the world. Let it affect Quade Cooper. Please.

2: Nobody will understand the rules, but will go crazy anyway

The one thing that grinds my gears about New Zealand rugby is how everyone calls themselves a supporter, but don’t have a clue what’s going on. But there’s nothing like a good bandwagon, and lets face it, how are you supposed to understand the rules when they change every season?

1: William Web Ellis will shine upon the All Blacks

It’s hard to compile a convincing case against the Kiwi boys. We’re on home turf. There’s plenty of depth in the squad, especially in the mid-field and outside backs. I think they’ll do it for the folks in Canterbury.

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by Hazel Buckingham

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issue 20 2011

In a few decades, history students worldwide will be forced to remember August 22, 2011. The following months, and even years, will be studied and analysed by both history students and academics. The actions that come in the next few weeks and months will not be forgotten; instead they will go down in the history books as the Libyan Revolution of 2011. It is amazing to imagine that history is being created right now and our children and our children’s children will learn about the fight of the rebels for freedom in their country. High school history students and university history students have always learnt about the plights of history, in the hope that perhaps history wouldn’t repeat itself, or that we would learn from our mistakes. Whether it is the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, or the World Wars, students around the world learn the importance of politics.

Democracy is not necessarily around the corner for Libya. While the reign of Gaddafi appears to be over, the rebels still need to bring stability to Libya, bring about a democratic political election and decide on a political system to follow. And that is just a start. Referring to the rebels as “the rebels” also needs to change, in my opinion. Referring to the revolutionary forces that fought to bring their country democratic rights as “rebels” is counterproductive. The term rebel has too many negative connotations that do not fit with a stable government. In Russia in 1917, after the revolutionaries overthrew the Tsarist government, a government was set up. Less than a year later, a second revolution overthrew this government. The French Revolution saw years of tension follow the initial revolution. Libya has only just managed to overthrow their suppressive dictator – they still have a long way to go. While the Libyans may be celebrating their success (and rightly so), very shortly they will

form an inexperienced government and attempt to rule an instable country. Uniting a country of so many tribes and factions will be difficult for whoever finds themselves in power and it will be one of the first issues they must address. History suggests that the government established will not be able to hold onto that power. While this is a major milestone for Libya and democracy in North Africa, it is most certainly not the end. Libya has a lot of issues to address, a system and government to establish and a peace and stable state to create. With our own election a matter of weeks away, the Libyan Revolution should make us thankful for what we as Kiwis take for granted. We live in a democracy and have the ability to decide what we want for New Zealand. We can influence our government’s policies by peaceful protest, lobbying, media pressure and simply by talking to electorate representative. We have the right to free speech. We are not perfect; there will always be room for improvement. However, the Libyan Revolution gives us a chance to look at what we have and realise just how lucky we are.

to gain a new perspective on life. This is the worst drought to hit east Africa in 60 years and is described by the UN high commissioner for refugees, Antonio Gueterres, as a “human tragedy of unimaginable proportions”. When food and water run out, things get serious. Different parameters are set. The idea of fathers selling their daughters as ‘drought brides’ for food defies logic for us in Auckland and yet this is reality for those who are born into this sort of hell on earth. But how are we to process all this? The first thing that comes to mind is giving something back financially. After all, those ads on television always say only $40 could feed a malnourished child in Somalia for two months. When we give our money unselfishly, our whole attitude towards it changes. It is no

longer something that we constantly worry about, rather we start to see others need before our own. The way we approach our studies can change as well. We are incredibly lucky to have access to tertiary education and through this we will become the next generation of professionals in this country. It’s no secret the world isn’t in the best place at the moment, yet equipped with skills and knowledge we can be in a position to do something about it. So I guess we’re faced with a choice; do we allow what we see happening in the world to affect how we view life? Do we make a decision to do all we can not just for ourselves but for others? Or do we turn the page, change the channel and hold firm to our current perspective?

by Struan Purdie

As students we face some fairly significant issues and stresses. Assignments pile up, 8am classes and student allowances that never seem to last long enough. Life sometimes seems to be always against us. Often all that is required though is some perspective. Perspective comes along in many forms. It could be catching up with your mate in third year law and realising you don’t have it that hard. Maybe by second semester, the novelty of flatting is wearing off and you realise living with Mum wasn’t so bad. Or maybe perspective hits you in the face as 11 million people face starvation in eastern Africa. Yet if we allow ourselves to comprehend the extent of what the UN have labelled ‘the worst humanitarian disaster on the planet’, then it becomes a little more than a chance

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15.

by Sophie Putze

t’s said that leaders are either born or made. What do you believe? Perhaps some of New Zealand’s finer politicians are self-instilled with the knowledge that “their persuasion will build a nation”. It’d certainly account for the somewhat inflated sense of self-belief amongst these groups! Whether you like them, loathe them, or didn’t even know of their existence until you found yourself reading this article, someone has to run our country under the next three year term (if MMP stays at least). So, before you vote, let’s introduce our leaders and determine who will still be in the running towards becoming NZNTG.

ACT seems very detached from their core values as of late and it seems even they no longer know what they stand for.

We had to start somewhere so we might as well start with our current leaders. National have been performing promisingly in the pre-election polls, yet their aim is to achieve a meagre 48 per cent of the vote. Perhaps their launch of the new scheme for underage school leavers saw them feeling the need to cut down on the optimism? Who you’d be voting for: John Key, our current prime minister, who if reelected would be entering his second term as party leader. This term could make or break National’s chance of securing the vote for a third term as voters usually seek change around this point. What they’re promising: A scheme launched last week promised greater assistance for teenagers leaving school from 16 and ensures they do go into jobs, rather than straight onto another benefit at the age of 18. After the 2008 election Labour have become This policy is popular the underdogs of parliament. Whether they can with some, but many regain the lead they once had is something all see it as a waste of voters are watching for with bated breath. space, further babying Who you’d be voting for: Phil Goff, our society when they who critics argue is not capable of leading really do not need it. Labour towards winning the election. If What you know defeated it’ll be interesting to see if Goff will them for: retain his leadership or step down and keep his National’s policies are position as candidate for Mt Roskill. Although fuelled by economics Goff has said when he leaves Parliament it will and the business be of his own accord and not because his party end of society. Last wants him to. year they increased What they’re promising: Labour’s the percentage of grandest schemes to date include tax-free GST and have raised fruit and vegetables, a popular concept given the minimum wage, the ever-increasing cost of these goods in our amongst various other society. Also, they plan to introduce a Capital things in their term Gains Tax which will not affect everyone, but it of Parliament. If rewill see the wealthier two per cent of our society elected, expect to see be taxed 39 cents for every dollar they earn over them continuing to 150,000 per annum. build on what they’ve What you know them for: Labour already done thus far, are for the people of New Zealand, more so the such as decreasing working class and families. This term they are the number of people known for opposing the increase of GST to 15 on the benefit and per cent as well as agreeing as a party to not increasing the amount consent the mining of national parks, which did of people in jobs. not end up eventuating.

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Who you’d be voting for:

Greens increased their share of the vote from 5.07 per cent in 2005 to 6.72 per cent at the last election; whether they maintain this is up to us. They are currently the third largest party in New Zealand and have a ‘limited support’ agreement with the Labour Party.

Who you’d be voting for: At

present the Green Party is co-led by Russel Norman and Metiria Turei so whether this coleadership remains is yet to be established.

What they’re promising:

Clean, green water ways which will see our rivers and lakes becoming possible to use for swimming again. This will be implemented through charging for irrigation water as well as limitations on the amount of water that can be taken from rivers and lakes as well as how much pollution can go into these bodies of water.

What you know them for: The

Don Brash, whose application for leadership was accepted in 2011, after previously resigning from the National party in 2006, and then Parliament in 2007.

What they’re promising: ACT Who you’d be voting for: Like

the Greens, the Maori Party exists as a coleadership with both Tariana Turia and Pita Sharples leading this party.

What they’re promising: To be

announced, however if their policies from the 2008 election are anything to go by they will continue lobbying for a review of the Treaty of Waitangi, and a petition of implementing it further in our Parliament today which hasn’t been touched on a lot during National’s latest term.

What you know them for: Their

beliefs that they owned the foreshore and Greens are known seabed before British for their stance on all colonisation, therefore environmental issues meaning it should still and were the first be in their possession ‘environmental’ party today as the Treaty had in the world, formed in no direct mention that the 1990s. it was in British hands.

recently announced that they’d like to see the expansion of private schools such as Auckland Boys Grammar to have campuses in areas like Mangere, so everyone can reap the benefits of a private education regardless of geographical location. However they also wish to decrease the amount of government spending/borrowing per week, and more unpopularly abolish the Maori seats.

What they’re known for:

ACT takes a similar stance to their policies as National do; individuals are entitled to their own freedom and rights and government is to protect these freedoms. However, as discussed as of late this has been neglected by somewhat confused populist remarks which shows these core values are being reshaped.

*Disclaimer: For the purposes of this article I have only focused on five of the many political parties, as these are the ones most likely to be reelected and therefore have a greater impact on our political future.

issue 20 2011

by Hazel Buckingham

n November this year, anyone 18 and over will be armed with one of the most powerful decisions in the last three years. We will have a pen, a paper and a little square box around us. The method of this authoritative decision will require placing said pen to paper, and ticking a box. It sounds like a simple and easy task to complete, but what we are really doing is choosing the future of our country. Who it is that will make choices reflecting New Zealand internationally and impacting on where we live? Who will head the country we proudly stand up and call our own? So why, are so many of us ticking the box of the guy who’s wearing the nice shirt,

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or the party that had the pretty adverts on the billboard that we drive past every day? Is it because as a nation we don’t understand our own political system? Is it because we are happy with the way our country is run, regardless of which government? Do we tick the same box every election because “when I was a little girl, Dad told me to vote for Labour”? Or is it simply that New Zealanders just do not care about politics? “There are three things you don’t talk about in life; sex, religion and politics.” There was a time when New Zealanders were at the peak of social change, of standing up for our rights and letting our voice be heard. We were, after

all the first country to give women the vote in 1893 after years of the female sex being suppressed. We joined in the ‘hippy era’ and protested conscription and our unnecessary involvement in the Vietnam War in the late 60s. We stood up and told our government we were unhappy with the sporting relationship with South Africa and their apartheid regime in the “Springbok Tour” of 1981. Unfortunately, these events are rare occurrences. The amount of demonstrations led by New Zealanders nowadays is minimal. Perhaps this is because when an effort is made it is virtually disregarded by our government. Or is this our fault too, for not being a strong enough nation? We pride ourselves on being a democratic state, where each and every voice of our multicultural population is heard, but this is not the case. Perhaps this is why New Zealanders are weak when it comes to politics? How can we be a democratic nation, with one quiet, whispered voice? Looking at countries like Egypt and Libya, who this year have shown us that they will do anything for their voice to be heard, how can we take the

opportunities we have for granted? We have a government that a lot of nations all over the world would be over the moon to be under. What is it about New Zealanders? Is it our MMP electoral system? Are there just too many parties and too many people to understand exactly what is going on? Then there are the MPs like Winston Peters and Peter Dunne who jump from party to party and make it hard to understand which ideology they clearly stand for. But if we don’t understand, it is our job to learn. It is our job to figure out what we want in a government and who we want to lead it. There are too many New Zealanders who are happy to sit back and complain about current governments. It seems as Kiwis we are content to talk the talk, but not necessarily walk the walk. What do you, as a proud nationalistic Kiwi, want your country to stand for? Do we want to be a realm of obesity, child abuse and binge drinking? The Rugby World Cup is just around the corner and we will be opening our doors to the world. Don’t let them see

that we are a country that will nod our heads to anything the government will do. When you are voting this year, don’t vote for John Key just because he ‘planks’, or Hone cause you like his tie. Don’t vote for the Legalise Cannabis party cause you think it’d be exciting for everyone to be high all the time. Learn who you are voting for and why. Learn their policies, understand what changes they want to make and create a decision for a better future. We are the students, tomorrow is in our hands. Don’t let us be the ones sitting back complaining about the qualms of yesterday’s choices. It may be cheesy, but it’s true; every vote counts.

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by Jarred Williamson and Sebastian Mackay

What was university like when you studied? Did all the usual stuff, drank too much beer, played rugby, had a girlfriend (who I’m still with) and I enjoyed studying a range of things. [It was] certainly financially easier in those days. We had very low course fees. We didn’t have to take out student loans generally, if you worked in your holidays. I was in the shearing game for a year before I went, so I had cash in the bank. And then I worked in a night club, Friday nights, Saturday nights and Sunday, pulling drinks. Pulling drinks and shearing sheep, that’s what got me through.

The year is passing by ever so quickly. The Rugby World Cup is at our doorstep (next week, people!) and before the dust settles on Daniel Carter’s right foot we have the general election on November 26. So on Wednesday, August 17 Sebastian Mackay and Jarred Williamson caught up with Labour Party finance spokesperson David Cunliffe to chat about the upcoming plans for the Labour party. David Cunliffe is a senior MP for the Labour Party

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and the current MP for New Lynn in West Auckland. As mentioned above, he is Labour’s spokesperson for finance and is currently ranked third on the Labour party list. He served as the Minister of Health in the previous government, among other associate portfolios. Over coffee, we asked David about university 24 years ago, students loans, the controversial VSM and upcoming policies.

Student debt is expected to reach 20 billion before 2020, how would you propose we lower the level? We think that access to tertiary education is a very important right people should be able to exercise. Coming from the left side of politics we don’t rely on the size of your parents’ wallets to determine whether you can access tertiary education or not. And that is also important for society… that people can make the most of their skills and then make an important contribution. Labour bought in interest free student loans. You also know [if] you take them overseas you have to pay interest. And once you begin a full time job the APs kick in. I know most students want to get rid of the burden as soon as they can anyway. We need to make sure that there is work there for people to go into and start paying off the loans. High youth unemployment is one of the worst things that can happen. Studying and then there isn’t a job to go to.

The controversial voluntary student membership bill looks to pass through parliament before the elections. What are your personal thoughts on VSM?

issue 20 2011

I’m against it because I think it’s good for us to start habits of acting collectively, otherwise you have a free rider problem – small committed groups do all work, everyone else free rides and that doesn’t get the job done. So it’s in the collective interest of all students that there are strong student organisations. Not only to improve the conditions of study, but to make an impact on the world beyond campus. Student associations play a really important role in debates around the country about student conditions and I think they would be weakened if we had voluntary student membership.

The policy is yet to be announced but I would be remiss as finance spokesperson if I didn’t say the world has changed over the past three years. Anybody reading a newspaper knows that all around the western world our economies are melting down under a burden of huge debt. Thank you to the financial markets collapsing on us in 2008/2009. But the impact of that is being felt on public accounts all around the world so I think people need to be realistic about their ambitions of what we can do in the short term. It’s also our objective to keep debt at low levels and make sure people have jobs. It’s a flipside in a way about your question on student loans; student loans are relatively expensive to provide. And we are ACT on Campus President Peter McCaffrey therefore somewhat constrained. But as I say, has said that mandatory student union we haven’t announced our policy yet.

membership goes against Section 17 of the Bill of Rights Act, which gives freedom of association. How do you respond to this statement? I know some of Peter’s writings from the blogosphere and I’d take it with a grain of salt. In fact, take it with a bag of salt.

How would a Labour government benefit students in the next three years? We’re going to get our economy moving again so you’re not graduating into an environment where too many are out of work. Unemployment has roughly doubled under the current government. Even if you have a job the earnings gap between here and our nearest neighbour has increased five per cent in the last couple of years. We want our underlying economy to be healthy and we want to make sure there are learning pathways for young people whatever level or field they want to go into. Our aim is young people under 19 are either learning or earning. So that you’re not just cast out of school onto an unemployment scrap heap.

Would you consider following an interest free student loan policy, similar to the one Labour announced at the last election?

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There have been some calls for reforming the size of parliament and calls for MPs and ministers to lower their pays. As finance spokesperson, would you support MPs taking a pay cut? We have actually. The last couple of years we’ve had a pay freeze, which is a real terms pay cut. That was appropriate; everyone else was suffering, no problem with that. You can’t take it too far for two reasons. One: you pay peanuts, you get monkeys and a country can’t afford to be run by a tribe of apes. And secondly, you don’t want Parliament to be the preserve of the wealthy; a hobby job that the John Keys of the world can do, ‘cause they’ve got $50 million in the bank. So, it’s got to be the case that parliamentary salaries are set at a sustainable level.

Can I ask a cheeky question?

long run historical average. The American century is over and we have to wise up to that, we have to plan for that. We are a small country, like a cork bobbling on a small ocean caught between the Western Hemisphere and the Eastern – what game are we going to play? Are going to be a peaceful place? A place of cultural understanding, a place we can be proud of? What’re our relations going to be like with the eastern and western hemispheres? Those are strategic issues we have to plan for and get on top of. Capitalism’s not done for, but the world as we knew it is gone.

The National party released reforms on youth benefits; Labour has spoken out about it, why?

This is not a real policy from the National Do you think this is the end of capitalist Party, it’s dog whistle economies? politics, it’s as simple as that... The idea that Capitalism has a habit of surviving. Sometimes, 1600 young people it changes form – there’s a great book called would be prevented Capitalism 4.0 by Anatole Kaletsky who from buying alcohol tells that story. But fundamental shifts are and cigarettes; most underway. Economic power and one day of them [are] underage military power is moving fast from the Western anyway and not able Hemisphere to the Eastern. China and India are to buy alcohol. So it’s on the rise; they will probably consume about a kind of a pseudo policy quarter of the world’s GDP each, which is their Go for it.

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that will make a great sound bite but will do precisely nothing to help young people find skills or employment or get themselves out of poverty traps. A much more serious approach would be to say, lets analyse the causes of youth unemployment and fix those, let’s give young people pathways into real jobs. And frankly if food stamps for 1600 teenagers is the answer, what the hell was the question?

Throughout the year we’ve seen a few minor parties form, namely the Mana party and the New Colin Craig’s conservative party. What are your thoughts on them? [It] probably doesn’t deserve the column inches it’s already had, either Mr Craig’s or Mr Haraweara’s [parties]. Big deal. They fight over one per cent of the vote, won’t change the world.

What does Labour plan on doing about child abuse?

You can track the correlation between If you were in a position, where you needed to work with them unemployment and child abuse. So when [Mana or Conservative party] would you work with them? people are stressed and Our leader has ruled out working with the Mana Party, by virtue of broke their family pays. Hone, and beyond that we’ve said we’d be happy to work with the That doesn’t excuse it Greens. Beyond that, we’ll let the voters decide what’s going on and we for one second. And will take our instructions from the electorate. of course the law has You have spoken about fixing the economy Colin Craig has said he’d work with Labour to deal strongly with those who do abuse or National, would you work with him? but some have said it’s picking back up, children, there’s no how do you both respond to that? I think I’ve got more chance of winning Lotto question about that. then seeing Colin Craig in Parliament. So I But New Zealand has Our economy is performing worse today than don’t think it’s worth speculating. an epidemic; it’s a sick the Treasury predicted it would in the 2009 underbelly for our Budget. In the middle of the world financial Does the public know enough about society and we really crash they made predictions and we have the alternatives to MMP for this year’s have to think hard tracked below their mid case done back then. referendum? about what economic So that’s an amazingly poor performance. cultural social issues Given that at the same time we have had a 30 Alternatives 101. First past the post, allow that or cause year high in our agricultural commodity prices. Parliament’s full of old white guys who don’t that to occur and we’re It couldn’t get better than this for our primary look or feel like New Zealand. You don’t want going to have to fix it. exporters, yet at the same time our economy to go back there. Supplementary member We just lose too many sucks. We’ve got unemployment double the listing is first past the post with a winner’s kids. rate that we had under Labour, we’ve got bonus. [It is a] small list which is allocated on growth rates that have been bouncing along the same basis as the seats. You don’t want to Do you have the bottom of the ditch for too long, we’ve go there because it just reinforces the problem any leadership slipped back against Australia another five per you have of a bunch of old white guys thinking ambitions? cent in income per capita and our latest budget they know everything about everybody. So is predicting both our current national deficit stick with MMP. Mate, I’m so busy on and international deficit blow out over the next this race that I really What other things can we expect from five years making New Zealand poorer and haven’t given that any Labour? poorer. So it is not a good story. Only thing thought. I’m clearly you can say is that in the first quarter of 2011 is Soon the government will be releasing a green backing Phil Goff to just a smidgen less awful than the last quarter be the next prime paper on savings; how to get New Zealand of 2010. And until global financial markets minister and if there is saving better. We will have a policy that will melted down again in the last few weeks there another job I want it’s lead that debate when the time comes. We’re was a ray of hope that if we didn’t stuff it up Bill English’s job. We thinking a lot about youth transitions and anymore then we might come out of this. But are a unified team and youth employment. And we’re going to have the current government is just sitting on the we know in order to some really exciting policies to release in that sideline watching. be credible, we need to space reasonably soon. We’ve got lots of good be ready to govern and stuff happening in the area of creating jobs that means stable and and economic development and monetary behind our leadership policy. We’re going to be unveiling a major and that’s what we’ve programme for our children starting in the consistently been the early years and a lot of exciting stuff to come. whole way through. I Stuff on the environment, stuff on foreign don’t think anyone can policy. Labour does not spend three years in question that. opposition without having a good rethink about some of our policy settings. So it’s going to be exciting.

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A full transcription of Sebastian and Jarred’s interview, including extra questions and answers from Labour Aucklandbased MP Jacinda Ardern, can be found in the debate section on the AuSM website, www.ausm.org.nz

issue 20 2011

by Alisha Lewis

There’s a fair number of super-stars in this world. Single names that stand out. Madonna. George Clooney. But then, when those super-stars go and marry other super-stars, we’re thrust into a whole new realm of stardom. These celebrity couples are the epitome of rich and famous. Their relationships add a whole new dimension to celebrity culture. Women’s magazines would go bankrupt without these couples: there would be no breakup rumours, no cheating allegations, no ‘I’m-sorry-I-screwed-the-maid’ scandals. But worst of all, there would be no nicknames. Those brilliant little names, taken from two superstars and merged to form one all-encompassing identity. Brangelina. TomKat. Sadly, not all of the couples on this list had their own nicknames. So I took it upon myself to make some up and even out the playing fields a bit.

Jay-Ce

Jay-Z and Beyonce are the reigning King and Queen of the music industry. The ultimate power couple, they’re on a completely different level to everyone else on this list. They’ve topped Forbes’ Hollywood Power Couples list for the past four years. Jay-Z has just recently been named hip hop’s number one ‘cash king’, raking in $37 million over the past year and despite the fact that Beyonce took most of last year off, she wasn’t far behind, pulling in a cool $35 million herself.

2. Brangelina Hollywood’s golden couple. God, these two are irritating. They’re pretty much as close to perfect as you can get – Oscar winners, orphan-adopters, environment savers, huge donation givers, multi-cultural family makers, sexiest-people-in-the-world list toppers. Home wreckers should be on that list too but all the other stuff seems to have cancelled that out. And on top of all the baby-making and worldsaving, they managed to make movies too! And, it gets worse, $55 million between them.

Pecks

Posh and Becks are Britain’s golden couple gone transatlantic. Having relocated to sunny L.A, experienced a resurgence in popularity, made friends with other Hollywood power couples, nabbed even more celebrity endorsements and recently announced they’re expecting a new addition to the family – a long awaited-for girl – things seem to be going pretty well for them. Oh, and did I mention they made $46 million in the last year alone?

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4. Robsten

8. Ashmi

Kids, some things in life are unexplainable. UFO’s. Donald Trump’s. hair. What came first: the chicken or the egg? But topping it all is the reason Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are on this list - unless mediocre acting, mediocre movies and an inability to speak publicly without stuttering are the making of superstars. Somehow it seems that this may be the case, because these two sour-faced celebs raked in $40 million. And they never even seem to twi-hard.

Their ‘couple name’ was going to be CougarCouple or CradleSnatcher but I finally opted to go for the traditional merging of names which has proved to be popular thus far. Ashmi is Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (who is 15 years older than Ashton). They’ve always been present on various ‘top power couple’ lists but recently they had a mammoth boost when Ashton was chosen to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, America’s number one comedy series (I know, I don’t get it either). Ashton is reportedly earning almost $20 million for his first season. Demi’s doing pretty well too, making most of her money from beauty endorsements.

5. Winkett Possibly the best name on this list, ‘Winkett’ is made up of the legendary Will Smith and his pint-sized honey Jada Pinkett-Smith. Despite recent rumours that exploded all over the internet that the two had called it quits, they’re still going strong after 13 years of marriage. Will Smith is one of the few former television stars who was able to transcend his child-star status to become a silver screen super star. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air also led to the pair meeting – Jada auditioned for the role of Will’s girlfriend but was considered too short. Since then, life’s been pretty good to them. They made $38 million between them last year.

6. TomKat Their ‘couple’ status probably started on that fateful day when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch and professed his love for Katie Homes to the world. Although they don’t seem to have done much over the past couple of years, aside from becoming devoted Scientology followers (and crazies), the couple still seems to top power-couple lists. This is probably due to the couple of movies Tom’s come out with, Katie’s foray into Broadway and the women’s magazine industry’s obsession with their kid, Suri.

Garfleck

One of my favourite Hollywood couples, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, are the ‘couplenext-door’. They win for cutest family, most grounded and best kid names (Violet and Seraphina Rose. Take that, Apple). They’re the kind of couple that stays out of the spotlight, keeping their heads down and doing their thing. The fact that they’re still so popular is a testament to their power-couple status.

9. Biebena Not to be confused with Ribena, Biebena is the most photographed, influential couples on the (tween) scene. Selena’s claim to fame through the Disney show The Wizards of Waverly Place, led to further acting gigs, a recording contract, a hit song and millions of tweenage fans. Her relationship with teen heartthrob Justin Bieber on the other hand led to millions of ‘tween-rage’ death threats. What with celebrity endorsements, a super-sized entourage and sold out (in minutes) concerts, they’re the new Justin and Britney. Let’s just hope their relationship doesn’t end the same way. The last thing the world needs is another Cry Me a River break up song.

10. Keithole Unfortunately, the Aussies make the cut too. Although the name sounds a wee bit dirty (“you’re such a keithole!”) Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban top just about everything. They’re a solid power-couple and are both hugely successful in their own fields. Kidman is an Academy Award winning actress while Keith is a Grammy Award winning musician. They’re not the most famous couple out there, but they’re solid and consistent. They’re a couple that’s gone the distance – success wise. Let’s see whether Robsten makes the cut in 10 years time? Doubtful.

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VOTE ELECTIONS PARTY CAMPAIGN PRIME MINISTER

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MMP DEMOCRACY ELECORATE PARLIMENT MINISTER issue 20 2011

Deadline is Tuesday September 20. www.ausm.org.nz

23.

by Ashleigh Muir

The sequel has become a stock standard way of making money in Hollywood and in the last couple of years the number of sequels per franchise has drastically increased. Hollywood, it seems, has lost its mojo. Hollywood is supposed to be this vibrant, creative place where the far limits of the imagination can become reality – at least on the silver screen. Hollywood has the technology, the expertise and the power to bring almost anything to life. And yet the greed and power of these movie greats means they are ignoring the potential to create fantastic new stories, turning instead to the money-making-monster that is the sequel. ‘What is that?’, I hear you ask. Well, the sequel is defined by urban dictionary as “something of inferior quality. An utterance of absolute disgust”. Although, the sequel may also be defined as the greedy aftermath of successful and socially powerful popular culture. Unfortunately the sequel has been around almost as long as film itself. In 1916 Thomas Dixon felt cheated by the industry when he failed to receive any money when his book The Clansman was turned into Birth of a Nation. His revenge was to put together a sequel to the successful film and begin a longstanding tradition in Hollywood. Now there are certain kinds of acceptable sequels. Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings for example, are based on a series of books and must therefore be a series of films. That makes sense. We can also reasonably expect that some successful films have room for a sequel. That is just the way it is. But my question for you today is, how many is too many? At what point do we say, hang on… that is a few too many. Why is it that we feed these excessive sequels by going to see them, when the reality is that we know it never going to be anywhere near as good as the previous film, or the one before that, and certainly not the one before that? But without fail we flock to the cinemas to see the third, fourth and even fifth sequel in these money making franchises; and so Hollywood makes yet another.

Sequels that took it too far:

Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third, Shrek Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of Forever After the Black Pearl, Dead Man’s Chest, At The first one was funny, full of those classic World’s End, On Stranger Tides one-liners and fantastic characters that actually developed. It all went downhill after that. Shrek seemed to return to his former state at the beginning of each film, the one-liners lacked what was needed. It was ok, but nothing great and they certainly did not need to make a fourth film.

You know a sequel isn’t going to be that great when two of the leading cast are no longer part of the franchise. Unfortunately Disney’s head of production, Oren Aviv, said that this would “hopefully be the first of another trilogy”. So there may yet be another TWO Pirates films, making a total of SIX.

The Fast and Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift, Fast and Furious 4, Fast and Furious 5

American Pie

There are far too many to even begin listing but the American Pie franchise is set to put out its next slice next year. In 2012 we can expect American Pie 4 Presents: Family Reunion to hit our screens. Well, they do say that sex sells.

Really? Five films of cars, girls and crime. Surely you could come up with a new story that involved those three things. New characters and Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien: new developments would make for a far better Resurrection and possibly more successful film that is actually Yet again I have to inform you that director worth watching. Ridley Scott is making yet another sequel in this franchise. For some reason the magic number X-Men, X-Men 2, X-Men: The Last in these films has moved from three to five. Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, It is crazy. There is only so much you can do X-Men: First class with the fifth story of the same story. It makes Another series of five films. Surely when they no sense at all to keep making sequels other made the third they did not expect got go any than the fact that they make money. Come on further; why else would it be called The Last Hollywood, find something new. Stand. Normally by the third film things are really starting to go downhill, but they still decide to make another two films. The sad thing is, X-Men: First Class is the only one of the five films that did not break even. Why are so many people seeing these films?

24.

issue 20 2011

columns by Vinny Francesco

by Melissa Low

spurious generalities

Homegrown Banana

no democracy in the kingdom of heaven

t may come as a surprise to you that New Zealand is not a democratic country. It is commonly thought that New Zealand is a democracy. However, if we look at New Zealand as a whole, and we compare it to the concept of democracy, we can see many undemocratic elements. This article will debunk but a few of the popular myths surrounding New Zealand democracy. The word democracy comes from the words demos (common people) and kratos (rule/strength), so democracy means rule or strength of the common people. There are various types of democracy, but in a nutshell there are two primary forms; direct democracy and indirect democracy. Direct democracy involves the common people in most, if not all, elements of politics. So for example, in a direct democracy the common people would be able have their say concerning any act of parliament. However this is not the case in our democracy, which is essentially an indirect democracy. An indirect democracy is quite selective about the involvement of the people. Politics and politicking is something which is happening all the time, 24 hours a week, seven days a week, 12 months a year. However, under our indirect version of democracy, civil enthusiasm is seen as a once in a blue moon activity... Once every three years to be specific. For some reason or another, the common people have developed the illusion that ticking a box or two every now and then qualifies as democracy (governance coming from the strength or virtue of common people). So because New Zealand is only democratic in some ways some of the time, the accuracy of calling New Zealand a “democracy” is called into question. New Zealand is more than a democracy. Amongst the modes of control/ authority in New Zealand we have aristocracy/nepotism, monarchy, monopoly, meritocracy, dictatorship and even anarchy. All of these political forms are present in New Zealand. It’s just like we have different styles of cuisine in New Zealand; some are certainly more popular than others, but it would be ludicrous to say there is fundamentally only one. Similarly, there are many political styles which people are a part of and it would be ludicrous to say that there is fundamentally only one. One of these other political styles is monarchy. Did you know that the official leader of New Zealand is the Queen of England? In New Zealand the Queen and the royal family execute their control through the avatar/representative, the Governor-General. Technically speaking, the Governor-General is the highest official political authority in New Zealand. This position is appointed, not elected. So, because New Zealand’s leader (Governor-General) is appointed, I am justified in saying that New Zealand is a dictatorship, or at least a monarchy. (Actually a monarchy is a dictatorship, except that royalty believes they have “the divine right of kings” as their appointment to rule over the common people.) Last but not least, there are entities in New Zealand which are arguably vastly more powerful than our once in a blue moon civil participation; and this we give the name Corporate Aristocracy/Nepotism. Corporate means a legal entity, which is not alive and does not actually exist, apart from within the legal matrix. Aristocracy means rule of the nobility or the priestly and it is similar to monarchy. Actually, most monarchs have an aristocracy which they are affiliated with. Nepotism means, favouring those who are close to you, and giving them appointments out of friendship rather than skill or qualification. Eighty per cent of all financial transactions flow through transnational corporations. So really; New Zealand a democracy? That’s laughable.

www.ausm.org.nz

“We don’t talk like Sims do”

t was a bad move for me to start playing The Sims Social on Facebook. The Sims is just that type of game that you can play hour after hour; a fantastic (and addictive) procrastination tool. I myself have been wasting time trying to keep my Sim happy so I can buy them the large screen television I will never own in real life. But I’ve noticed something special about Sims, and that’s how easy it is to talk with other Sims. It’s all very straight forward. You just click one of the talk options, and they just chat themselves in their Simlish language. If it all goes well, your Sim gets the green plus marks. If it doesn’t, then it’s a big fat red negative mark for you. It’s just a shame real conversations cannot be as straight forward as it is in the Sims world. Very often I can find myself in the uncomfortable position where I can’t even talk to the person I’m with. This can be due to a various amount of reasons. One: They don’t speak enough English and I don’t speak whatever language they speak. Two: Their accent is so strong I feel myself having to stupidly ask them to repeat themselves. Three: They don’t even look at me in the first place. Four: It’s all of the above. And then it feels awkward. Unfortunately all the above has happened to me before with a woman I had met from China. I occasionally work as a host for a social events company, and 90 per cent of the time I’m perfectly fine talking with people I’ve just met. When they’re chatty and friendly, I know I can keep a conversation going on because they’ll contribute back. But when someone does not want to talk back to me, I will be prone to mentally panic and try to talk about the first subject I can think of, all done to desperately prevent any void of silence happening between us. Now if this were the Sims world, awkward silences wouldn’t happen. One click of a button and suddenly we’d be launched into a talk where my speech bubble would have a picture of a toilet roll and yours would have a picture of a llama. However, it wasn’t easy at all for me to talk to this Chinese lady. I took the Sims approach and started talking about whatever topic subject popped up around my head; asking about her job, where she was from, her interests, the weather, 3D movies, the rugby, and how nice I thought her shoes were. But for whatever reason, she seemed to prefer to sit in silence and not look up at anyone at the table, only glancing at her phone every once in a while. I wish I could tell you there was a resolution to this all, that there was some magic code word that made her open up and tell her life story to me. But there isn’t. She remained quiet for almost the whole night, sharing more eye contact with her phone than with the others at the table. She did however tell me at the end of the night that she did enjoy herself and was interested in coming again, which I guess you can call ‘success’. But the resulting fact is there is no great formula as to how to master the art of conversation with everyone. And trying to talk to someone of a different culture, call it a good challenge instead of a big struggle. All you can truly do is secretly hope that whatever you’re saying, it results in some green plus marks between you two.

25.

VOLUME 20 Now Watching

The GLEE Project

It’s only been three episodes so far but The Glee Project already has us hooked. What makes it different from all the other competitive singing shows out there is the prize (a recurring guest role on Glee) and the fact that they aren’t just looking for a singer, they’re looking for a personality. It forces the contestants to embrace their insecurities and own them, sending out a positive message to younger viewers and shows Glee really practises what it preaches. Also, since almost all the contestants are in their teens, the show has a fresh, young vibe. It’s been such a success overseas that it’s already been signed on for a second season. Catch The Glee Project on Mondays at 8.30pm over on Four.

Now Sick of

Crying Models

The girls on America’s Next Top Model are always crying. For example, Exhibit A: It’s makeover day and Model X has to get her hair chopped off. Even though this has happened to someone EVERY season for the past 14 seasons, it somehow comes as a total shock to said model, who proceeds to burst into tears. Or Exhibit B: The models have to do a commercial. Model Y cannot remember her (four) lines. Model Y starts crying. And finally, Exhibit C: Model Z takes a bad photo. The judges are not impressed. Model Z bursts into tears, citing her tragic background/self-confidence issues/the child she’s left behind at home, as the reason her poses suck. Bitches need to harden up, this is a competition. If I wanted to see skinny people crying I’d watch Celebrity Rehab.

Now Eating

International

If your dinners out with friends always seem to revolve around the words ‘burgers’, ‘pizza’ or ‘chicken nuggets’, it’s time to step things up a bit. Be a bit more adventurous and start trying out food from different cultures (and I don’t just mean the Alfredo pasta at La Porchetta). Swap the Big Mac for some Spanish tapas, Chinese Yum Char or African curries. Some great (and cheap) ethnic places around the city are… North African (Algerian, Tunisian, Moroccan): Sahaa Medina. 87 Albert Street, Auckland Central Epicurean (Spanish, French, Italian, German): Elliott Stables. 39 Elliott Street, Auckland City Hong Kong/Chinese (best for Yum Char): HKD Seafood Restaurant, 928 Dominion Rd, Mt Roskill.

Now Excited For Spring!

At last. After months of electric blankets and hot water bottles and thermal underwear, we’re coming out the other side. Spring is (nearly) here! Think daffodils in the Domain and little lambies in Cornwall Park and one less layer of clothing! Make the most of the seasons and do a little spring cleaning - maybe make a few bucks by selling what you no longer need/wear on Trade Me. Or put a spring in your step by indulging in a little new season shopping spree. If you think you’re on the pulse with what’s happening in Auckland, email debate@aut.ac.nz with your own Suggestions.

26.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

The stars think you’ve been acting particularly annoying lately. Please stop it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

You are going to catch World Cup fever this week. The only cure will be to spend your life savings on a ticket to the NZ vs France match. It may be sold out, but hey, that’s what Trade Me is for!

GEMINI (May 21-June 21)

You are going to spend a lot of money on something this week only to see it come up as a Spreets/GrabOne/ Grouponz daily deal next week. Sucks to be you.

CANCER (June 22-July 22)

The stars know what you did last summer.

LEO (July 23-August 22)

The stars are sensing a lucky vibe hanging around you at the moment. Capitalise on this by heading to gimme.co.nz and entering every competition on there.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22)

The stars see a very expensive New Years up ahead. Time to start asking for extra shifts at work (they say it will be worth it though).

LIBRA (September 23-October 23)

Forgetfulness plays a huge role in your life this week, particularly on Thursday when you forget to tag off on your Hop card. There goes five bucks.

SCORPIO (October 24-November 21)

You thought you were being subtle when you picked your nose during that lecture last week. The guy behind you totally saw.

SAGITTARIUS (November22-Dec21)

You will be struck with a sudden urge to embrace nature and go horseback riding. Don’t do it, you’re going to be stuck with the dud – the crazy horse that doesn’t follow instructions and constantly stops to pee.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)

You are going to win $100 million dollars (the stars accept no legal responsibility for horoscopes that do not come true. Believe at your own risk).

AQUARIUS (January 20-Febuary 18)

You’ve been looking a little shabby lately. Take out those course related costs and invest in a new wardrobe.

PISCES (Febuary 19-March 20)

Chocolate doesn’t give you pimples (your mum’s such a liar). Make sure you go crazy this week to make up for lost time. We’d start off with M&Ms; they’re totally a gateway chocolate.

issue 20 2011

Dear Agony Aunt

My little sister got sent home from school because one of the other kids in the school has got measles. The school nurse said it was because she had not had the measles vaccination and she was at risk of catching the disease. Is she right; it sounds a bit of an overreaction to me? I mean years ago everyone used to get measles. Everyone wasn’t sent home from school then. From what’s all the fuss about This Agony Aunt column is brought to you by the team at Health, Counselling and Wellbeing. If you have a question you would like answered email debate@aut.ac.nz and put Agony Aunt as the subject or drop it in to the Health, Counselling and Wellbeing office.

Dear what’s all the fuss about

Measles is a potentially very serious condition and is the most common vaccine preventable cause of death among children in the world. Yes, years ago children got diseases such as measles and of course not everyone died. However in developing countries an epidemic of measles would wipe out almost whole generations of children and in developed Dear Agony Aunt countries like ours one in every 1000 cases of children with measles will My dad had a heart attack two months ago; he is only 50 years old. He develop encephalitis (inflammation of the brain), 15 per cent of these is worried about me and thinks I should get a check up in case the same cases die and approximately one third are left with permanent brain thing might happen to me. Do you think I should? I’m not fat or anything damage. At the very least children with measles feel very miserable and and unlike my dad I don’t smoke and I’m only 22. unwell. So you see, it is worth making a fuss about because not one From Jim child should die or be left severely handicapped from a preventable disease. Dear Jim The reason your sister has been sent home from school is to protect Fifty is young to have a heart attack, although it happens to more people her. She will have no antibodies to the measles virus that would enable than you probably think. I think dad is wise to ask you to go for a check up her body to fight the disease should she come into contact with the with your doctor or nurse. It won’t do any harm. virus. It is important that your mum is supported in her decision as to You will probably be asked to go for a blood test to check your cholesterol whether to vaccinate your sister or not. You could tell her to visit the and blood sugar levels. The doctor or nurse can talk to you about reducing Immunisation Advisory Centre available at www.immune.org.nz or your risk of having a heart attack or stroke as you get older. Apart from she could call 0800immune and speak to an advisor. You should also genetics most risk factors for heart disease can be reduced by making consider your own immune status. If you have never been vaccinated good lifestyle choices like not smoking, getting regular exercise and eating and have not been in contact with anyone with measles then you might a healthy diet. An excellent website to go to for more information is www. want to consider having the vaccinations yourself. You can have the heartfoundation.co.nz. You can make an appointment to see a doctor at vaccination at Health Counselling and Wellbeing, it’s free if you are Health Counselling and Wellbeing. Call (09) 921 9992 for City campus and enrolled with the centre. To book an appointment call (09) 921 9992 for (09) 921 9998 for North Shore campus. City campus and (09) 921 9998 for North Shore campus.

OG_AC0174_DEB

PUTTING PEOPLE BACK INTO SPACE JOIN US FOR THE OPENING OF YOUR CITY’S NEWEST SHARED SPACE // STREET ART + DJ + ART DISPLAY @ LORNE ST Wednesday, 31 August, 11am - 2pm HOT NEW MUSIC @ FORT ST Friday, 2 September, 11.45am - 5pm

TO FIND OUT MORE: aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/sharedspace www.ausm.org.nz

27.

by Andrea Manahan http://theaffordablewardrobe.com/2011/07/31/new-zealands-next-topmodel-episode-8-attracted-to-their-manly-selves/J.

There are very few things that I am not proud to have the label ‘Made in New Zealand’ attached to. This fine country of ours, though small and at the bottom of the world, produces top sports men and women in a variety of sporting disciplines, mega Hollywood blockbuster movies as well as artsy independent films, a great cut of steak or leg of lamb and an excellent drop of sauvignon blanc. But alas, we must admit defeat – we cannot produce tantalising, exhilarating prime-time reality television. Every Friday night at 7.30pm on TV3, citizens of New Zealand are put through a slightly torturous experience of watching New Zealand’s Next Top Model (NZNTM) while they wait for the more entertaining Graham Norton Show to start. During this hour, adolescent model wannabes showcase their slow and infuriating ascent to the world of professional modelling in New Zealand. For those of you who are lucky enough to be unfamiliar to this model reality show, NZNTM is hosted by Sara Tetro, former ‘model’ and owner of 62 Models Talent Management, which claims to be the biggest modelling agency in New Zealand. Yes, the agency probably has, in financial turnover terms, the highest amongst the agencies of New Zealand, but this is in large due to the enormous Farmers account they picked up a few years ago. Farmers? Really? That is their claim to fame? Not international covers of Vogue? Not their girls stomping it out on the catwalks of Paris and Milan? In terms of international modelling success, personally, I believe Nova is still New Zealand’s premier modelling agency, with many more models on their books, from fashion to commercial, to local talent, and an extensive and impressive list of international models. NZNTM is in its third season, and thank goodness I have been away for the past few years to only now be subjected to this farce of Tyra Bank’s far more exciting and entertaining

28.

America’s Next Top Model (ANTM). One cannot even put the monotony of the show down to the New Zealand version’s tiny production budget and relative infancy compared to ANTM, which has been going strong since 2003. I remember watching the very first episode of ANTM and was engrossed for the whole 60 minutes it was on air, not only because it was the first of its kind during that time, but because the potential models were actually interesting, the judges and host were actually engaging, and more importantly, they actually had something legitimate to say. Our season three New Zealand’s Next Top Model girls, bless them, are young and lifeless, with comments such as “wow, it was so amazing...” delivered in such a sleep-inducing monotone that you wonder if she has actually ever been amazed in her life before. I regularly want to use a cattle prod on them to electrocute their limp bodies and faces into some form of reaction to their surroundings – they literally look like they are anaemic, and slightly on the ‘slow’ side, and more often than not, on a different planet. Lo and behold, one episode actually caught my attention and brought some life into this limp and lacklustre show. Episode eight of NZNTM featured our very own talented third year Bachelor of Design students; fashion students which finally injected some much needed

personality, colour and excitement into the hourlong show. Jesse Oliver, Monique Lynch, Glen Prentice, Emma Mitchell, Veronica Bartleet, Emma Gleason, Julia Sabourin, Georgina Irvine, LisaYuen, Jenniver Yu Lu, Grace Jensen, Vihanga Sontam, Troy Garton and Jesse Lolo did the university proud through their creative and thoughtful designs for the undeserving models, all of which looked dazzling on camera. The designers were approached to create a look for the model wannabes in a limited time frame. The girls rushed around the city to get their measurements taken, dresses fitted, hair and makeup done at Servilles, and back to the AUT for their final dresses for a mysterious ‘red-carpet’ event. And for the designers, it was a race against the clock to get their creations finished before the gangly and uninspired models came back from their running-around in the city. Within a very tight time frame, this talented group of future-couturiers whipped up creations such as a black-sequined baby-doll dress which fit model Aroha like a glove, an edgy yellow one-piece for Hillary (who ended up winning the challenge) and a bold and striking A-line red silk dress for Brigitte. When interviewed on their designs by the NZNTM crew, our students engaged with the camera, had life in their voices, excitement

Dynamic Duo – (Bachelor of Design – Fashion, Year 3) Georgina Irvine and Julia Sabourin, designers for AJ.

issue 20 2011

Emma Mitchell – (Bachelor of Design – Fashion, Year 3) designer for Rosanagh.

in their eyes which sparkled with such luminosity that one couldn’t help but be sucked into the world of fashion design instead of fashion modelling while our students were on television. Not a hint of nervousness was evident in any of their interviews, and what showed through was a quiet confidence of talent and passion for what they do. I was left hungry for more of the designers on screen, instead of increasingly annoying models. So often, when the pressure hits in the competition, the models lament to the camera that this is “what they really want, more than anything”, but I

Nicola irving (18) Degree: Fashion What You’re Wearing: Baggy pants: made by Nicola Irving Jumper: Calvin Klein Shoes: Converse Scarf What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? Fluoro tacky bright lettered tops www.ausm.org.nz

One to watch – The talented Glen Prentice (Bachelor of Design – Fashion, Year 3) Finalist of Westpac Young Fashion Designer Competition 2011, and designer for Bianca.

am uncertain whether they know what it really means to want something. The Arts and Design School on St Paul’s street regularly has students working through to the wee hours of the morning, regardless if deadlines are looming or not. These students, ranging from visual arts, to fashion, to graphics majors, regularly forgo weekends of partying, ski trips with friends and family and sleep ins (not to mention they all have empty bank accounts), for the sake of their art. They live at the studio. They breathe their degrees. Perhaps I should not have been too surprised

Liesel carnie (18) Degree: Photography What You’re Wearing: Jersey: Serious Fun from Tauranga Skirt: made by Liesel Carnie Shoes: Andrea Biani What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? Anything Emo!

to find that these designers on camera were more fascinating than the models. In the world of fashion, fresh faces hit the catwalks and covers of magazines as often as you one can say ‘That’s fabulous darling’. The momentary ‘it’ girls get their 15 minutes of fame, where they are sought after by every designer and every publication and paid stupid amounts of money to pout and pose in front of the camera. However, as the light dims on these models, and they are pushed out by the new faces coming from Eastern Europe, or some hick town in Australia, it is the designers and their houses which transcend the fickle waves of flitting fascination in this industry. Who can remember which model opened for John Galliano in 2002 for his Autumn/Winter Haute Couture Collection? And the model who closed for Alexander McQueen (may he rest in peace) in his Spring/Summer 2010 show? They are all but forgotten. It is true talent, true passion and true determination of the designers which satisfies fashion’s insatiable thirst for the ‘new’. I regularly sit outside the steps of St Paul’s Street to see the various works which go in and out of the building – the first toiles of a third year fashion student, bits of geometric styrofoam shapes held by a student of visual arts, an installation of a new exhibition in the gallery. Now, it is works like these that I am more than happy and proud to label ‘Made in New Zealand’

rya allen (18) Degree: Communications What You’re Wearing: Top: Cotton On Pants: Country Road Shoes: England What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? Crocs

29.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa Film Review by Samantha McQueen

(A+)

Directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa have already nailed hilarious (Bad Santa) and sweet (I Love You, Phillip Morris) in their movie careers. Now, thanks to a killer cast, a clever script and Ryan Gosling in a three piece suit, they’ve managed both in one film, with Crazy, Stupid, Love. Steve Carell is Cal Weaver, a loving husband and father with a steady job, a nice house in the suburbs and a fondness for pairing up jeans with sneakers. But before the film has hit the five minute mark, he’s dropped the bomb that his wife, Emily (Julianne Moore), slept with someone else and now wants a divorce. Everyone is stunned, especially his 13-yearold son Robbie, who has grand thoughts of soulmates and true love; he’s head over heels for his babysitter Jessica, who in turn, is secretly crushing on Cal. Wanting to drown his sorrows, Cal heads to a swanky cocktail lounge, where he encounters Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling), a well-dressed lothario whose way with words sees him with a different girl each night. After a few nights of putting up with Cal’s loud and bitter inner monologue, Jacob takes upon himself to help Cal rediscover his manhood, which includes upgrading his wardrobe and giving him tips Mr Muyagi-style on how to get women into bed. Crazy, Stupid, Love has so many selling points, it’s hard to know where to start. The obvious one is the heavyweight cast. Steve Carell is often hit or miss when it comes to films (hit: 40 Year Old Virgin; miss: Evan Almighty) but Cal is so honestly sweet that even when he’s in the depths of despair, audiences will find it hard not to root for him. And Ryan Gosling, who has made his career playing drug addicts, child killers and romantic heroes, is a comedic stand out as the arrogant ladies’ man. Emma Stone (Easy A) shines on screen as Hannah, the law student who seems immune to Jacob’s lines, and if I was

30.

to fault this film, it would be that Stone doesn’t get nearly enough screen time (not does her R-rated best friend). Screenwriter Dan Fogelman (Cars, Tangled) is another key component in the film’s success. He’s created a script that is bursting with the film’s last word, but without the sappy connotations usually associated with it. Sure, the grand romantic gestures are present, but when it’s a 13-year-old trying to convince a 17-year-old that four years isn’t a big age gap, the cynicism that true love doesn’t always work out is not too far behind. Likewise, his interpretations of one night stands, which don’t feature nudity (unless you count Gosling’s 84 pack), are a breath of fresh air. And in amongst all the craziness that these characters have to endure over the course of a year, a fight between middle-aged men in a suburban backyard is somehow the perfect way to tie it all together.

Boy & Bear

Moonfire

Album Review by Matthew Cattin

(A)

Sydney buzz band Boy & Bear have finally released their first full length album after receiving acclaim the world over for their 2010 EP, With Emperor Antarctica. I first heard of the band from an Australian friend visiting our fine shores at the end of 2009. She had seen them live a couple of times and vouched for their immense talent so I checked out their MySpace and was pleasantly surprised. They were quickly snapped up by Triple J Radio and Rolling Stone magazine as bands to keep an eye on, as well as opening for folk heavyweights Mumford and Sons on their tour. It’s good to see talented folk musicians finally breaking into popular music and getting the recognition they deserve. Boy and Bear have a unique folky sound, typically comprising of rolling drums and percussion, rhythmic acoustic guitars, stomping bass and layered vocal harmonies. They make music that is as interesting and changeable as it is catchy, using mandolins, banjos and organs

to full out their sound. The songs never end the same way they started and they tend to avoid the usual verse-chorus-verse-chorus structure, a sign of originality and class in my books. I suppose one could describe them as Avalanche City, if Avalanche City had talent. The first single Feeding Line is a foot stomping builder that you can imagine going down a treat opening a live set. It’s spurred on by explosive dynamics and a driving bass line before mellowing down towards the end for a cutesy whistling segment. It’s hard to describe the mood of a Boy & Bear song. They are typically neither happy nor sad but instead dark and badass. Which is cool! The Village is perhaps the catchiest and instantly adorable track on the album but at just over a minute long I found myself wishing for much more. It seriously is tu meke fun. Sweet percussion and falsetto cooing contrasted by barbershop-esque harmonies and bright catchy guitar. A must-listen for anybody having a crap day. The following track Beach is the ballad of the album. It broods and it builds and (at the risk of sounding yuck) climaxes into awesomeness. Moonfire was definitely worth the wait. It’s a smart, solid album with no dud tracks and plenty of potential singles. They only live over the road so hopefully it won’t be long before they pop over to play the Powerstation. Get into them!

The Panics

Rain on the Humming Wire Album Review by Melissa Low

(B)

Perth indie-rockers The Panics have been in the music scene for almost a decade now. However, they have managed to stay lingering under the mainstream radar. With their songs appearing in shows like Underbelly and Ugly Betty, along with an ARIA win from their last album, The Panics have been trying hard to get their name out there. And with their latest album, Rain on the Humming Wire, they may finally have that chance. Setting the tone of the album, the opening track, Majesty, draws you in with the building

issue 20 2011

introduction of solid thundering drums. They continue through the song to march you into the (somewhat political) poetic lyrics: ‘’Who needs advice from cardinals? Who votes for governor-generals? Who’ll offer those fellas an amnesty? Who’s been touched by Her Majesty?’’ Add a backing of softly lingering vocal harmonies and this bold track can only be summed up as being a song that is ‘majestic’ (yes, I went there). As the album moves to the second track, Endless Road, it successfully combines the drums with the piano to create a defined, march-like beat. This gives the chorus lyrics, “you take me down so slow, I should not be living in this house alone”, an extra drive of power and lyrical strength. A background of drawn out trumpet accents and lasting synth sounds help to support the song with a richer melody. The strong drum beat that showcases through most of the tracks of this album becomes a quirky element about how well one could walk up the street in time to the song’s rhythm. The song Creatures can give your walk a Latin like swing, thanks to the use of the drum beat with a jazzy bass, while Walk that Mile Alone would be the perfect backing track to a rushed walk up to uni. This album is full of songs that could be successfully marketed to people who are powerwalkers. And for a song of quintessential “Australianness”, you cannot look further than the track How Long. With an intro that feels reminiscent of Waltzing Matilda, How Long feels like the sort of song that men in bars would sing along to completely drunk while a guy leads them away on the piano. Rain on the Humming Wire is an album that unites defiant drum beats, rich melodies, poetic lyrics and lustful harmonies together into a blend of carefree indie-rock. The only thing missing from this album is a bit more variety, like a slower or less drum reliant song. But this album still has a lot to offer, and could finally be the album that defines The Panics in the industry.

Immoral Tales

Directed by Cathal Tohill and Pete Tombs Film Review by Kevin Pryor (Nexus)

jollies off? Is it possible to get titillated by the smell of honeysuckle in the evening breeze, or are we now only able to get aroused by watching a clip of some Kazakhstani teenager fellating the village donkey? Falling in between the age of extreme film censorship (the 1940 and 50s) and full blown filth that we live in today, was a golden age of cinematic erotica. Immoral Tales: Sex and Horror Cinema in Europe 1956-1984 documents this rich cultural legacy. As censorship started to loosen in the late 1950s, more and more nudity started featuring in film, cheaply made ‘B’ Pictures were the place to take your date on a Saturday night. In America these were dubbed ‘Grindhouse’ films - a term recently bought back to prominence by Quentin Tarantino. But in America, as is so often the case, the ambition of these films was low. Europeans on the other hand, being the pretentious bastards they are, attempted to combine tits with high art. The result was a torrent of celluloid weirdness. From pulp surrealism to blood soaked vampire epics, directors were free to let their imagination run wild, as long as they included the requisite amount of T & A. Immoral Tales is a history of these hard to find cinematic oddities. Detailed descriptions and extraordinary images adorn every page. The passion of the authors for their subject resonates throughout the book. The writing is analytical and intelligent, but you can feel the love at the same time. Auteurs in the truest sense of the word, directors such as Jess Franco, Jean Rollin and Walerian Borowczyk are rightly rescued from the travesty of obscurity. Immoral Tales will inspire you to give up watching those exercises in gynaecology that pass as modern pornography, and instead to seek the alternative of old school European smut, spiced with lashings of gratuitous violence.

Infected

Written by Scott Sigler

Book Review by Judy Robinson (Nexus) (A)

Yay! I loved Infected. Read it in two nights and was a little pissed off when it was finished kind of loved it. Infected was kind of a mix between my favourite types of fiction. It’s got the science fiction thing covered. It’s a thriller. And there is a pretty big amount of horror in there too. But some of that horror might have come from my total fear of parasites. Infected is written from a few points of view, which gives the reader a good grasp of what’s happening in every area. You get the view of the guy who has the infection, and how he goes from being a normal guy working in an office to being laced with parasites and being totally crazy. Then there is the view that the CDC investigator has, she’s trying to figure out what the infection is that’s killing people and what the infection is doing to their bodies. And then there is the CIA perspective where they are just trying to find the people who are infected before they go crazy nuts. The basic gist of the story is this: there are some alien seed things (which I’m going to presume are from outer-space because I think that’s kind of cool) and the alien seeds need something to grow in. The thing they grow in best is people so they start doing that. But because they are alien seeds they aren’t really good for the people they are growing in. Oh, and they aren’t aliens seeds as in they are seeds that come from somewhere else, they are seeds from somewhere else that GROW ALIENS inside of your living flesh. There are lots of nasty side effects, like having the aliens talk to you and use your brain to find out what words are. And this understandably drives people crazy. Except the crazy isn’t just regular crazy. It’s the kind of crazy where you kill your family or roommates and leave them crucified on the couch with steak knives before carving alien symbols into your flesh. And you’re paranoid. But that makes sense, because the CIA and Centre for Disease Control are actually after you because they really do want to isolate you and the aliens growing inside of your body. Infected totally expanded my fears of parasites and aliens. But I couldn’t stop reading. It’s really well told and I think I’m going to be hunting out more of Sigler’s novels in the future.

What did people do before pornography? Before ‘Asian Buttsluts Five’ was available on the internet and DVD, how did people get their

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Correctly identify the five differences in the two photos then circle them and drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs? Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD. Congratulations to our issue 19 winner, Parmpreet Kaur Butter, City Campus.

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Kiwa Huata

Bachelor of Business

Will you be voting in the general election? Yes What’s your opinion on John Key’s teen benefit policy using swipe cards instead of cash? I don’t agree with the act itself but I do agree with the swipe cards (I just don’t they should have any incentive to drop out of school in the first place) If you could have front row tickets to any concert, what would it be? Masiey Rika – best Maori artist of the 21st century What television show from your childhood would you want to bring back? We didn’t have a TV. That makes me sound so native ha ha Would you rather explore space in a rocket or the ocean in a submarine? Rocket because I’m afraid of the water

Lisa Kiutau

Bachelor of Business

Will you be voting in the general election? Yep What’s your opinion on John Key’s teen benefit policy using swipe cards instead of cash? It’s dumb. Cash all the way If you could have front row tickets to any concert, what would it be? Pussycat Dolls because of the dancing What television show from your childhood would you want to bring back? Rugrats Would you rather explore space in a rocket or the ocean in a submarine? Rocket in space because you get to float

Junior Latu

Diploma in Sport and Recreation Will you be voting in the general election?

Nah, Aunty Helen’s not here

What’s your opinion on John Key’s teen benefit policy using swipe cards instead of cash?

I’d rather get cash. Money talks

If you could have front row tickets to any concert, what would it be?

UB40 because I like reggae

What television show from your childhood would you want to bring back?

Dragon Ball Z

Would you rather explore space in a rocket or the ocean in a submarine?

Ocean in a submarine

Paula Tutunoa

Bachelor of Communication Studies

Will you be voting in the general election? Yeah What’s your opinion on John Key’s teen benefit policy using swipe cards instead of cash? I think it’s stupid If you could have front row tickets to any concert, what would it be? Beyonce What television show from your childhood would you want to bring back? Sailor Moon Would you rather explore space in a rocket or the ocean in a submarine? Rocket

Shadna Lang-Siu Bachelor of Arts

Will you be voting in the general election? Hell yeah What’s your opinion on John Key’s teen benefit policy using swipe cards instead of cash? It’s a load of bull kaaaks If you could have front row tickets to any concert, what would it be? Trey Songz What television show from your childhood would you want to bring back? Time Out Would you rather explore space in a rocket or the ocean in a submarine? Rocket in space. Most definitely

Ralph Libo-on

Bachelor of Hospitality

Will you be voting in the general election? Yeah, probably What’s your opinion on John Key’s teen benefit policy using swipe cards instead of cash? Convenient If you could have front row tickets to any concert, what would it be? Colbie Callait because I like how she writes her music What television show from your childhood would you want to bring back? Power Rangers Would you rather explore space in a rocket or the ocean in a submarine? Space, so I can see the moon

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