debate issue 2, 2010

Issue 1 2010 issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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Issue 1 2010

ISSUE 1 FEBRUARY 2010

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On the cover Illustration by Nonavee Dale.

editor

Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

design

Nonavee Dale nonavee.dale@aut.ac.nz

sub editor

Jared Van Huenen

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Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

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ou have to have no shame in journalism. This is my reasoning for this week’s editorial picture. Yes, that is me standing next to Robert Pattinson at last year’s Academy Awards. I know some of you just spontaneously combusted from the sheer awesomeness of this.

Unfortunately, like with all great things, things aren’t always as they appear on the surface. Sadly, I did not get to ask 2009’s heartthrob of the year (according to a billion teens*) about vampires, romance and just why he wears so much plaid. The ray of light shining above his head is not the sun glistening on his skin like a billion diamonds, but rather the glare of the television screen. Yup, this was taken at home – in ball gowns – during the live red carpet broadcast of the Oscars. Like I said, you have to have no shame in journalism (or in life, in this case).

The whole concept of the Oscars is fascinating. It’s not the glamour or the red carpet that intrigues me (although the photo above begs to differ) but the way Hollywood has defined the success of movies and the people who made them on gold statues. People always want to watch films that have been given that golden stamp of approval. Are they aware it’s just a gold star, but on mega-million dollar steroids? No. Everyone has been programmed to see an Oscar win as the ultimate victory, whereas being nominated but losing out on the night is a crushing defeat. The media would use that term too.

Sure, the nominees will say a nomination is just like winning, but we’re calling bullshit.

No one cries like Gwyneth Paltrow over a nomination. They want to win. They want to climb on that stage and hold that trophy above all the people they bet and say “yes, I am the best, but I’m so humbled and I just want to thank everyone for getting me here today; my parents, my cast, my crew, my dog, my husband’s best friend’s lawyer…”.

Newsflash: no one cares, even if you’re mega famous.

Speaking of fame, I had no idea how many people would recognise who I was just from the photo in the last issue. I feel like a celebrity. I’ve had people wave at me from afar, start up random conversations without telling me their name because they already know mine and even one person sprint across the quad while screaming my name so she could introduce herself. It. Was. Amazing. This must be what the Shortland Street stars deal with.

It got me thinking; who would I thank if I won some prestigious award (preferably one for my awesome journalistic skills. Hint, hint ASPA)? Pass. I’d like to think I would go all Robert Downey Jr. on everyone and say this award is because of no one but me and the immense talent I possess. I probably wouldn’t though. I’m all about the clichés.

Just check out my DVD collection. On second thought, perhaps don’t.

Oscars, fame and my incredible vanity beside, I hope you have all had an amazing first week at AUT. I’ve been darting around (yes, darting) and around all the campus’ and have witnessed a bunch of awkward introductions and timid smiles as new friendships blossom. People have been soaking up the sounds and the sun with a sizzling sausage in their hot little hands. It just gets me all giddy inside. Remember to relish these first (or if you are in your final year of uni, last) memories because soon you’ll be in the big, bad world working long hours and nostalgically wondering just where all the time went.

Sam x *based on statistical evidence, depending on what you consider statistical.

On a final note, anyone wanting to be part of my future acceptance speeches (or just wants to write for debate), I’m having a meeting Thursday, March 11 at 5pm for anyone interested in finding out more about contributing. It’ll be held at the student lounge in WC202. Come along and see what all the fuss is about – it’ll be awesome. Promise.

RECEPTION City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 8am-6pm Mon-Thurs 8am-3.30pm Fri North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 8.30am-3pm Mon-Fri MANAGEMENT Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz REPRESENTATION Veronica Ng Lam AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 vnglam@aut.ac.nz ADVOCACY Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz MARKETING Rebecca Williams Marketing Manager 921 9999 ext 8909 rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz EVENTS David Victor Events Team Leader 921 9999 ext 8931 david.victor@aut.ac.nz MEDIA Samantha McQueen Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz SPORTS Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader 921 9999 ext 7259 melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz Kate Lowden Sports Co-ordinator klowden@aut.ac.nz CLUBS Ryan Waite Clubs Development Officer 921 9999 ext 8911 ryan.waite@aut.ac.nz VESBAR Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff and student executive visit: www.ausm.org.nz

issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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s r e t t e L Letter of the week!

I know what you’re thinking - this happens every year, a new kid writes in to talk about their first view of Uni life and how shit-scared they are of what it’s going to be like. Well I apologise, because this isn’t going to be any different. I had orientation yesterday, as did all the first years, and it was a little more than nerve racking. Not only is EVERYBODY taking communications (including myself), but they all seem to be from out of Auckland, living in Student Accommodation and thus are getting on like old friends already whilst I stand around looking like a little lost puppy.

Me? I live in Howick, Auckland University Student Central. I’m the one who’s getting all the slack for going to AUT University whilst the rest of them are trying to succeed in the world on a BA (because that’s so much more worthwhile).

But alas, I have found a glimmer of hope! I was sitting on a bus heading back to Howick, whilst the AUT kids were getting to know each other and the AU kids were at DELNA proving they could speak English and I stumbled across a kick-ass magazine called debate in my awesome AuSM Orientation pack. I thought to myself, cheers debate, here’s a magazine that I could write for. AUT, here I come.

Courtney J Courtney’s letter has won her an AuSM prize pack. Please come to the AuSM office City Campus with your student ID to collect your prize.

As a white, lanky guy, with flipper feet and a taste for Burger King, athletic excellence has never featured in any CV of mine.

However, be it pure admiration or freak chance, destiny made me a sports knowledge-aholic. From basically anything down to tiddlywinks, I’ll tell you how many test centuries the New Zealand batting line-up don’t score, how many Premierships the Warriors haven’t won and why Roger Federer is better than Nadal by a country mile. Sometimes it helps Dad back a winner at the TAB, but Mum sees it as an excuse to get off my arse most of the time. So I relay every piece of numbingly useless information to my

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Yay, we got mail! But we want more! Send us your thoughts on the magazine. What is grinding your gears at university? The letter of the week will win a mystery (but totally awesome) prize. Because everyone loves a bit of mystery... debate letters policy: Letters longer than 250 words may be subject to editing. Letters are printed as they are received – spelling and grammar will not be corrected. The editor reserves the right to decline letters without explanation. The views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to PO Box 6116, Wellesley St or debate@aut.ac.nz

mates, most of whom smile and give the ‘I’m pretending to care’ look. After finding this ‘debate’ magazine amongst the current of advertisements inside my Ausm pack on orientation day, I was surprised to find a section on the upcoming Australian cricket tour to New Zealand. I usually rely on the internet or Sunday papers to keep my finger on the pulse, but this page stamped with the evergreen Ricky Ponting and everentertaining Brendan McCullum really caught my attention. It was surprisingly insightful and I saw a lot of myself in it’s author, Jared Van Huenen. If it serves me as well as the Rugby League Week Magazine did at Howick College, aiding me through Monday morning History tortures, then I look forward to its further issues.

Scott Moyes 1st Year Communications Student Jared, Black Caps beat the Australia 3-0 as you mentioned, but we have Australia to love and loathe that year, too.

Love: Australia rested Ricky Ponting and Adam Gilchrist, with Andrew Symonds and Brett Lee out injured, so that team was left with the likes of Brad Haddin, Adam Voges and Cameron White to pick up the slack against one of the most experienced Black Caps lineup at that point in time.

Loathe: Australia looked at the

bigger picture that year, and won the one-day World Cup later that year, albeit doing almost the same thing against Sri Lanka in pool play in a dead-rubber match, giving them the win, before beating them comprehensively in the semi-finals before beating India in the finals after the umpires (one of them was Billy Bowden) allowed play to continue despite poor lights, fading visibility and an unpredictable pitch.

Since this year is not a World Cup year, and the aforementioned replacements have more experience as regulars, all the best to the Black Caps, but we must anticipate this to be a tougher challenge to stop this Australian side, who wiped the floor with West Indies, while we had both Bangladesh and Pakistan to build confidence and depth.

Rocky Mak Hi my name is Madona and I’m a newbee here at AUT.Infact I’m new to New zealand as well.I must say that I just love this magazine.It’s as good as the ones I used to read back home.What I love most about this mag is the humor and creative writing.Always puts a smile on my face and keeps me updated.I’d probably would like to see more of advice coloumns or tips and tricks about anything related to this awsome uni.Overall,I think you guys are doing an amazing job.

Keep it up!

Hi, I’m actually a student at Akl Uni but living near the Shore. I got into a big drama last year when I found that tertiary students were eligible for discount rates on the Northern Flyer that travels between Albany and the airport, using the Northern Express to/from Britomart, and the Airbus. The problem was that although Maxx and ARTA said we were eligible for the discount fares - purchased on the bus - Ritchies, who operate the Northern Express, did not know of this. Even after one of their seniors investigated my claim and called me back to apologise, the drivers still refused to honour these tickets for months afterwards. Last month another manager at Ritchies again called me to apologise after a driver disputed my concession ticket.

So I would like it to be known to everyone: TERTIARY STUDENTS WITH MAXX STICKER ON THEIR ID ARE ELIGLBLE TO CONCESSION TICKETS ON THE NORTHERN FLYER!! Please make this info widely known to students - esp those on the Shore - as we have been getting ripped off for years.

Cheers, Sam. Congratulations Shaun van Riel and Laura B for being the first two to send “I’m so retro!” to debate.

They each won a $35 voucher to Mr Vintage. Yay!

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AUT students market their way to a three course win

by Samantha McQueen

A campaign “taking the piss” out of extravagant charity events has won two AUT graduates $2000 of travel vouchers and the title of New Zealand Post’s Student Marketers of the Year.

James O’Sullivan and Adam Barnes won the award for ‘Three Courses for Kids’, which was designed for the “Non-Event of the Year”, an annual Foundation for Youth Development (FYD) initiative.

The award was given out at the RSVP/Nexus Awards on Friday, February 26 in a category dominated with AUT finalists.

Barnes said they wanted to emphasize that elaborate charity dinners were unnecessary when wanting to get donations.

“The non-event of the year is all about taking the piss out of swanky charity dinners. [The foundation] wanted a revamp of the whole campaign targeting the kind of swanky people that attend swanky dinners to make them realize how swanky they’re being,” he said.

Using a strong visual campaign, O’Sullivan and

Barnes sent waiters with dinner plates to businesses around Auckland directing them to the website they had set up to make donations.

They also created menus and put them in restaurants around Auckland and wrote a radio campaign.

The boys said entering the awards was compulsory for all third year advertising students and while the creative process can be tough for some, they are keeping any problems close to their chests.

“The biggest difficulty was waiting for the AUT lifts to arrive to take us to class so we did most of the work in the foyer,” O’Sullivan said.

All joking aside, he said the win is important to them, both personally and professionally.

“We’re totally chuffed about winning the award.

Apparently The Foundation for Youth Development is keen to run the campaign for real which is awesome. The hard part now is deciding where to go with the $2000 travel allowance in prize money.”

Jackie Shaw from the New Zealand Post targeted communications team says the ‘Three Courses for Kids’ campaign used a clever combination of visual images and integrated marketing techniques.

“We (the judges) loved the creative thinking behind the campaign and the clear link this had with what FYD actually offer through its youth development programmes. The integration between all the creative elements and channels was excellent,” she said.

“Overall, ‘Three Courses for Kids’ is a thought provoking, optimistic campaign with a strong call to action. We’re excited to see the winners’ work produced and put into market and we hope it will make a real difference to the success of this year’s Non Event of the Year.”

Thousands ready to point and shoot

by Jess Cann

Annual filming competition V48HOURS is back for its 8th year, with more than 9000 people hoping to be crowned V’s filming champion of New Zealand.

The competition has an impressive past, seeing winners from the competition going on to create acclaimed short films, television shows and even garner Oscar nominations.

V48 director Ant Timpson hopes that with new technology, some teams push on further to challenge themselves more.

“Anything that results in highly original and maybe even visually deranged shorts is

good in my book.”

The best films from the heats, plus two wild cards chosen personally by Peter Jackson, to compete on C4 over two weeks will be followed by the grand final, where one team will be crowned Grand National Champ for 2010.

Registration finishes on April 5, with the competition running over the weekend beginning on April 16.

For more information visit www.V48hours.co.nz

Media left with bad taste after OUSA gagging

By Rory MacDonald (Critic) The news media are pissed off with OUSA over a form they were forced to sign before they could film inside Orientation gigs.

The gag, in the form of a contract, demands that media who are filming any O-Week event refrain from recording any material showing students drinking excess amounts of alcohol, engaging in promiscuous

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activity, vomiting, fighting, or acting like a Scarfie.

The contract also gives OUSA final approval before any footage is broadcast.

OUSA President Harriet Geoghegen said they were concerned about biased media reporting that paints students in a bad light and relies on out-of-context footage to supplement

Quincey rows his way into the record books

It’s a case of like father, like son as AUT’s own Shaun Quincey rows his way to becoming the second person ever to row across the Tasman Sea without assistance.

The mammoth 2200 kilometre journey has only been completed successfully once, by Shaun’s father Colin, back in 1977. It took him 63 days.

Quincey, 25, set off on his expedition, the Tasman Trespasser 2 (his father’s was the Tasman Trespasser), on January 20 with a goal of reaching New Zealand in mid-March.

He has battled swells of up to 10 metres, extreme temperatures and broken equipment, including his water purifier which meant an emergency supply drop had to be made on March 2.

The expedition is being well documented on his website and on Twitter, with Quincey sending regular tweets via satellite.

At the time of print Quincey had less than 500km to go before reaching his desired landing point of Taranaki, although weather conditions may force him to land in Westport, which is more than 100km closer.

Shaun Quincey is studying a Masters in Business Administration at AUT’s Business School.

Miniscule raise to minimum wage “just rubbish” Amanda Haxton (In Unison) The government is standing by its 25 cent raise in minimum wage, prompting calls for a referendum to raise it to $15 per hour.

The increase from $12.50 an hour to $12.75 was announced on January 27. Trainee and new entrants’ minimum wage increase from $10 to $10.20.

Minister of Labour Kate Wilkinson said increasing the wage from $12.50 to $15 would constrain new job growth by between 5400 and 8100 positions.

The increase to $12.75 was in line with the Consumer Price Index which was the same method the Government used last year, said Wilkinson.

Spokesperson for Unite Union Joseph Carolan said Wilkinson’s statement was “just rubbish”.

“Anyone who’s trying to live on a low income, like students are, knows that the prices in food and petrol go up much more than 2 per cent.”

Unite is hoping to collect over 300,000 signatures before May 7 for a Citizen’s Initiated Referendum Petition.

“We’d like to take this out of

stories that almost exclusively relay the negative aspects of Dunedin’s student drinking culture. Geoghegan also expressed concern that people were being filmed, and the footage used, without their consent.

The contract was drafted in 2007 as a response to the C4 Studentville show, which Geoghegen described as “a montage of people vomiting.” She

the politician’s hands, and give New Zealand a vote. And we’re pretty confident we’ll win that by a landslide,” he said.

Carolan said Unite had the verbal support of Labour, Green and Maori Parties.

Several party representatives issued statements following A New Zealand Herald survey on the matter.

The survey showed 61 per cent of the New Zealanders surveyed wanted the minimum wage increased to $15.00.

Labour Party MP Trevor Mallard said it was heartening to see most New Zealanders recognised the struggles faced by those on the minimum wage.

“The Government can make a choice. It should listen to what the public is telling it and do more to improve these families’ lives while also raising productivity levels,” said Mallard.

The Unite Union represents workers in many industries affected by the wage including hotels, call centres and the fast food industry.

The new minimum wage rate will come into effect on April 1 this year.

said the contract is not an attempt to impinge on the ability of the press to report, but to protect OUSA’s members from an “unfair” media witch-hunt.

TVNZ refused to sign the contract, along with 3 News, whose Dunedinbased reporter Dave Goosselink likened OUSA to the Fijian regime.

Contributors Required. news hounds, political gurus, feature writers, reviewers, columnists, sports writers, opinionists, photographers, cover designers, cartoonists, humourists...

debate is your oyster.

For more info, email Samantha McQueen on debate@aut.ac.nz www.ausm.org.nz or drop in to the AuSM city campus ofďŹ ce for a chat.

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Sports NRL 2010: Rugby worth watching

by Scott Moyes This time last year,

New Zealand rugby league fans were very proud people indeed. The Kiwis had just knocked the Australian Kangaroos off their perch in the Rugby League World Cup final. The Warriors had just completed an exhilarating late season charge into the finals. Even the tragic drowning of promising star, Sonny Fai, seemed to impassion fans and the many fronts of the NRL competition seemed to be united by the ordeal, if only temporarily. All seemed perfect for a passionate, mouthwatering season of sport in its purest form.

However, sporting scripts can go horribly wrong and this was no exception.

Just a nanosecond into the 2009 campaign, sexual assaults, drunken misdemeanors and the lure of big money rugby contracts plagued headlines and all seemed in disarray. In a society increasingly dominated by the media, players were burnt at the stake by the columnists and reporters that had once rendered them superstars. Clubs were hit hard by the economic downturn and players were being lured into different codes of the game to pursue their true market value. There seemed to be no end in sight.

However, as the economy started to pick up so did the quality of football and the Parramatta Eels in particular captured the imagination of the rugby league world. They were lead by Dally M Medal-winner Jarryd Hayne as they strung a number of mesmerizing performances together to qualify for the Grand Final. The indiscretions were finally falling by the wayside as public interest was aroused by the level of league being played.

With the new NRL season looming, 2010 beckons as a chance to rebuild and continue delivering high-quality football. There is no doubt that league is pulling in the crowds while rugby union furiously tampers with its rules in an attempt to produce the kind of sporting magic that the NRL can. The year started positively with the first annual ‘All Stars’ game, in which the fans voted for their favourite players for an Indigenous team, and an NRL All Stars team. In what was predicted to be a complete walkover, passion and precision were displayed in a perfect curtain-raiser for the coming season. The under-dog Indigenous team triumphed 1612.

In 2010, many high profile players will return to the NRL arena that deemed them sporting royalty. Lote Tuqiri, Timana Tahu, Todd Carney, Liam Fulton, Tim Smith, Jason Ryles and Jason Cayless all return to the NRL for another crack in addition to English sensation, Sam Burgess, who will look to lead from the front in South Sydney’s new look forward pack.

So who are the contenders, and who will be making up the numbers in 2010? Form suggests the Parramatta Eels will go one better this year to take the title, and I tend to agree. From fullback to lock forward, they have a perfect balance of size, skill, youth and experience in a squad that will struggle to fit under the salary cap in 2011. They recruited extremely well last year and their biggest opponent will be complacency.

The Melbourne Storm have not missed the Grand Final since 2005 and should be there once again come finals footy. Despite the salary cap stripping them of quality personnel, they still boast the game’s leading players in key positions. Their exuberant fullback Billy Slater barks orders at the back, Brett Finch and Cooper Cronk run the show in the halves with a sublime kicking game and Cameron Smith holds the fort at the front from his position at hooker. Did I mention the indescribable talent of centre Greg Inglis? Someone put him on a leash.

Expect also to see a fair fight from last year’s over-achievers, the Dragons and Bulldogs. Both play extremely consistent football lead by experienced campaigners and will look to redeem themselves after shock semi-final exits in 2009.

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As for bold predictions, I reckon the Rabbitohs and Tigers might surprise a few punters this season. Despite a questionable back-line, the Bunnies boast a forward pack bursting with talent that will be hard to contain. Sam Burgess and David Taylor in particular will look to offload at every opportunity. As for the Tigers, at the back end of 2009, they showed signs of emulating the form they displayed in 2005 to take them to a maiden title and only narrowly missed out on the finals. Their attacking style of play can run rings around any team on their day, and the inclusion of the experienced Jason Cayless and Liam Fulton to their heavily scrutinized pack will only help their chances.

But anything can happen in 30 weeks. The salary cap allows for a reasonably competitive competition, and not many teams are far off the bench-mark. Perhaps we will see another spectacular fall from grace similar to the Roosters, Sharks and Warriors last year? This season I expect it to be the Manly Sea Eagles as they fly without seasoned campaigner and captain, Matt Orford. One thing is for certain; Willie Mason is going to make that Cowboys bench a hell of a lot heavier.

I think I’m turning Japanese…

temples, kimonos, the peace sign and other such offerings Technos students in kimono after the Japanese Tea Ceremony

Applications guidelines Technos International Week (6 – 20 June 2010) aims to promote international understanding and cultural exchange. If your application is successful you will receive return airfares to Tokyo, travel, and accommodation. However, you will require approximately NZD $500 to cover meals and other daily expenses. On your return to New Zealand you will be expected to do a group presentation about your experience in Japan.

To be eligible, applicants should:

From the 7th until the 20th of June 2009, I was fortunate enough to attend the Technos International Week in Japan after being selected through application and interview as one of the four AUT student recipients of the International Technos Week Travel Award.

The award recipients, two of which are awarded to students from the Languages School and two from other faculties, are chosen and presented on behalf of the AUT Languages School. As a student from the Bachelor of Business I was lucky to be chosen as one of the two alternate faculty award receivers.

I was presented with an amazing opportunity and the international exchange experience of a lifetime. I met many students from all over the world including the US, the UK, Taiwan and Japan and I was fortunate enough to experience an amazing culture much different to my own.

Each of the 29 travel awards presented to students included flights, accommodation, transport, meals, Japanese lessons, group lunches and group attractions and was awarded to us by the Tanaka foundation of Technos College, Japan.

2009 marked the 18th International Technos Week, and the mark of an18-year relationship between Mr Tanaka and AUT University, a connection that AUT and students like me are extremely privileged to have.

Over the two week period I was able to visit many temples, shrines and castles, ride more trains in two weeks than I would in a lifetime, visit a great number of amazing attractions like the Edo/ Tokyo Museum, the Giant Buddha in Kamakura, the Ghibli animation museum, the Tokyo Government Towers, an extremely large fish market at 5am in the morning and the Bandai toy factory. I was also lucky enough to experience the true culture and lifestyle of a Japanese family after I was welcomed into the home of the Komiyama family and treated to a three-day adventurefilled home stay.

We were very lucky to be hosted by an amazing group of extremely hospitable and friendly students and teachers from Technos College. Not only did these students and teachers arrange our entire trip but they also put hours into preparing traditional Japanese dances for us to learn, and classes for us to attend; including calligraphy, cocktail creations, acting and film, voice over animation and CAD. In 14 days I managed to try foods that I never thought I would try and see places that I never thought existed - all in a country that I never thought I would get the opportunity to visit.

I have come away with memories that will last forever and friends that I will have for life. It truly was an experience of a lifetime!

I recommend to those of you who have an interest in Japan and the Japanese culture, or for those of you who enjoy travelling and meeting new people from all around the world, take this opportunity now to apply for this incredible international exchange opportunity that we as AUT students are so lucky to be offered.

Danielle Schofield

issue 1 FEBruary 2010

• Have a genuine interest in Japan, its people, culture and history • Have a willingness to meet people from different cultures • Have no or little previous travel experience in Japan • Be enrolled full-time in their second or third year of a Bachelor degree programme at AUT University • Have an excellent academic record • Hold or be eligible to apply for a New Zealand passport Application forms are available from the School of Languages and Social Sciences reception (Level 8 WT Building). Return your application to reception along with: 1. A photocopy of your passport or evidence of New Zealand citizenship 2. A copy of your academic results from AUT 3. An essay (maximum 500 words) on why you think you should be selected as well as your interest in Japan.

Applications close at 4pm on Wednesday, March 19.

Short-listed applicants will be asked to attend an interview the following week.

For more information, email Sonja Gallagher Programme Leader BA/Diploma in Japanese:

sonja.gallagher@aut.ac.nz Ph 921 9999 ext 6830

Fandemonium: Practising the art of the Japanese fan

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Prez sez

Greetings my fellow AUT Titans! What a wonderful

start to the year we have had with all the different acts, entertainment and free food!

A fantastic beginning to a fantastic new year!

As most of you settle into the beginning of your university life and for our returning students the usual ups and downs of it, I hope that you all remember that your student association, AuSM, is here to help and support you during your time here. Whether it is informing you on who we are, or assisting in welfare or all the issues that normally face us as students, we are here for YOU! As your student president it is my job to ensure that your voice and rights are represented throughout all levels of the University. As there over 26,000 students it is sometimes difficult to capture what the different types of interests, taste and entertainment that students like, therefore I encourage you to get involved in all the events happening around campus. If you feel there is a need for something that you feel strongly about, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Some of you might not know, but this year AUT has introduced a new Learner Services Levy (LSL) that costs you $360. This levy goes towards enabling ongoing investment in student services and facilities, so that AUT can upgrade and expand the offerings available to you as a student here. The levy will be charged proportionately for part time students and is invoiced with your fees and will go towards but not limited to a range of projects such as: • Extending Library opening hours • Increasing wireless access across AUT’s three campuses • Providing improved student social facilities and gathering spaces by constructing the new WG Precinct on City Campus • Committing to building a Student Recreation Centre on or near the City Campus within the next five years

Veronica Ng Lam

AuSM President veronica.nglam@aut.ac.nz 921 9999 ext 8571

AuSM has ensured that students are receiving their value for money for the Learner Services Levy and whilst some might not be too happy with this extra cost, it is fair to say that AUT have shown great commitment in working alongside AuSM to deliver the best that we can for students here. We are the last university in NZ to adopt the LSL and compared to other seven universities we are the third cheapest. As this is a large amount for students to pay, AuSM and AUT are setting up an advisory board that allows both parties to monitor and improve student services.

I hope you have enjoyed the Orientation that we have brought to you. This week will be Clubs week so make sure you sign up to a club of your interest. University Games are not far away so for all those who want to play sports make sure you sign up as the Titans are going away this year to Invercargill to compete and we want to bring back the cup!

Go well with your studies and enjoy your week!

Contact me on veronica.nglam@aut.ac.nz

Get to know your exec After taking on the role of Business and Law Faculty Rep in 2009, I now believe I am much more prepared forth year ahead because

Danielle Schofield

Business and Law Faculty Representative dschofie@aut.ac.nz 921 9999 ext 8302

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of the fantastic experience and knowledge of what it takes to be an effective student representative I have gained. With the feedback I received from students, I now have some great ideas and I would love to see these come to fruition during the course of 2010.

I work for the AUT Student Recruitment team where I have had the opportunity to take on many different working experiences, and I also volunteer for SIFE – Students in Free Enterprise AUT. I have also been newly elected onto the AUT Council, which is the highest decision making board in the University, where I am privileged to represent the views of our students. I embrace this position knowing that is place to help affect change for the better of our students.

My objective while in office on the AuSM Executive Council is to represent students of AUT to the best of my ability, specifically catering to the needs of those students in the Business and Law Faculty. I aim to enhance the opportunities available to all students in order to make their experience at AUT all the more positive.

I am happy to meet with any of you if you have any questions, queries or concerns.

No matter what the issues might be never be afraid to ask, as it is in asking that you shall receive.

Please contact me on dschofie@aut.ac.nz or call our office on 921 9999 ext 8302 and I will get back to you for a suitable time for us to meet.

I look forward to meeting most of you and wish you all the best with your studies this year.

WTF is VSM?!

The facts surrounding Voluntary Student Membership While you stroll around campus this week, free sausage in

hand, you may notice a group of people wearing orange t-shirts with the slogan “Save our Services” emblazoned on them. No, it’s not a fashion cry for help; it’s just the AuSM team doing their bit to save your student association from Voluntary Student Membership (VSM). Voluntary student what? Read on future minds of the world, let me educate you.

The players:

ACT MP Sir Roger Douglas The Government All student associations Tertiary institutes You – the students

What is a student association?

When you walked through the doors of AUT filled with hope about changing the world, you paid a fee to belong to AuSM, your student association. It seems only fair that you understand what they do for you. Student associations are implemented in tertiary institutions around New Zealand to provide a range of services and representation to students, including welfare, advocacy, entertainment and publications. Why yes, this magazine you are reading right now is funded by AuSM. Same with all the events and free sausages you have scoffed down during Orientation week. The future champion lawn bowls team you signed up for is also made possible by your AuSM. If you find yourself in dire financial straits, AuSM will make sure you don’t go without. Student associations are like the backstage crew of concerts; you don’t often see them in action, but you know they’re always there.

Why are people flinging around the term VSM?

ACT MP Roger Douglas has put through a member’s bill called the Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill, which aims to impose Voluntary Student Membership on all campuses across New Zealand. Douglas argues freedom of the individual; everyone should have a say about whether they want to contribute to an association. In a statement on his website he says the “bill does not seek to damage or limit student associations”, but unfortunately for student associations everywhere, this dream is not true.

What does this mean for student associations?

Student associations are only as good as the students in them. Without student membership, student associations, including AuSM will no longer have resources to provide the wide range of services they have put on in the past. Imagine rocking up to university on your first day next year to find out there was no Orientation Week for you to enjoy, your sports team had been cancelled and you had to read debate online instead of in your lectures.

These services, and the many others AuSM provides, make up the essential package for enjoying university life. Roger Douglas has said he doesn’t want to limit student associations but the reality is, without student funding, services will suffer.

David Do of the New Zealand Union of Students’ Association wrote about the risks of your education in Massey Albany’s Satellite magazine. Do says the quality of your tertiary education may be impacted if universities have to channel funds from other departments to help support the previously funded services. While people can only speculate about where the extra funding will come from, Do believes the bill will cost universities more, which could be passed down to the students.

Has VSM been implemented before?

There are those who don’t want to be a part of student associations, and they can individually opt-out of membership on the grounds of financial hardship or conscientious objection. Students can also initiate a campus-referendum if 10 per cent of the student body is against paying for their student association. Our neighbours across the road at the University of Auckland have had three separate referendums on the issue, the most recent in 2003, and are currently the only tertiary institute with voluntary student membership. Waikato University and Unitec have also had similar referendums, but both had a majority vote for compulsory student membership (CSM).

Across the ditch, all Australian campuses had voluntary student unionism (it is known as VSU over there) imposed by their government in 2005.

On the Save our Services website it states $170m AUD was stripped from student services, which caused a massive decline, or closure, in employment, welfare, counselling and academic advocacy services; all services which AuSM currently offers. Most of the campuses had to accept funding from their tertiary institutions, meaning students were still funding a portion of the cost, just through different outlets.

What if I don’t want the VSM Bill to go through?

Good question. If you still want to enjoy everything that AuSM (and other student associations) has to offer you can make a submission on the bill. The easiest way to fill one out is to make an online submission on the Save our Services website (www.saveourservices.org.nz). They’ve made it beyond simple. You can make a personal submission with examples about why you don’t want the bill to pass, such as the possibility of events such as Orientation or University Games disappearing. There are also generic messages which you can tick to add to your submission. Example: I support universal membership of students’ associations because students’ associations provide a host of key services. Because they are democratic institutions, students get to choose where their money goes.

If you want to know other ways in which you can make a submission, get in touch with AuSM president Veronica. Remember, she, and everyone else in AuSM, is here to help you.

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Five Hours with Raja The director behind the documentary Anna McKessar has been a busy girl. The 27-year-old graduated with a Bachelor of Communication Studies at AUT in 2002, then she did her Masters part-time for the next five years, graduating in August last year.

She worked full time at a production company during this time, got married and directed and produced her documentary, Five Hours with Raja, which is one of the 56 films screening at this year’s Documentary Edge Festival.

Five Hours with Raja follows the experience of a young mother carrying her unborn baby to term, despite the diagnosis of a fatal birth defect. It is an intimate and confronting documentary, one with Anna had to document carefully over the course of two years.

Anna talks to debate about the process and her plans for the future.

How did you first meet the couple featured and get the idea for the film?

I first met Claudia and Amit through Sands (Still-birth and Newborn Death Support) and the Vodafone World of Difference programme. A team I was working with heard about the young couple living in the Hutt Valley, and we decided that as another young person, I would be the least intimidating person to meet them and potentially do some filming.

How much time did you spend with Claudia and Amit over the course of filming?

The documentary was shot over a period of more than two years. I would make my way down to the Hutt Valley for milestone occasions every few months and spend a couple of days catching up with the family, renewing relationships, and getting updates of how things were going.

What was the process of making the film like? What did you learn along the way and how did your plan change as you went on?

Making this documentary has been an incredible experience. Claudia and Amit have trusted me with a sensitive and personal subject, an action that has required courage on their part. From the beginning I have wanted to honour that trust by making a film that expressed the essence of their experience and communicated a bittersweet story of baby-loss that is not often told. At first, none of us knew how things were going to pan out. We didn’t know if Claudia’s baby would survive delivery, or how she would cope, so communication and sensitivity with each other

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has been vital throughout. I wasn’t even sure initially what we would do with the footage, but once things got underway it became pretty clear that I couldn’t just sit still and do nothing. I explored a few avenues for the documentary and ultimately settled on making the film as part of a Masters in Communication Studies. This meant we had the freedom to make the film outside the constraints of commercial television with all of its eccentricities and requirements and I had the discipline of deadlines and supervision to keep me in line!

How hard was it to stay in a storyteller role when all this emotion was unfolding in front of you?

You know I thought that this would be difficult, but it really wasn’t. I knew that time was precious and if my camera missed anything, Claudia and Amit would never have another chance to record it. This kept me very focused (although I was quite exhausted afterwards). I knew that, as the one and only member of my ‘production crew’, if I didn’t get it mostly right, there was no one else to fall back on. The camera also provides an element of disconnection between those you are filming and yourself. All of the emotion hit me afterwards, when I got home and had a chance to process everything with a bit of space.

The thing I did find difficult was asking Claudia questions I knew would upset her. Things like, “take me back to the day you found out that there was something very wrong”. Those are hard. On the upside, I really believe that having someone outside of their family show an interest, and spend time listening, was at least in some measure validating and healing for Claudia and Amit.

What was it like for you coming home at the end of each day having witnessed all this raw emotion?

It was draining. Although in the moment you hopefully function with a good mix of humanity and professionalism, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do the hard emotional work of reconciling and processing those experiences at a later date. Sometimes even months down the track you find yourself thinking about events and ideas that seemed to have washed over you at the time. Those feelings are still there; they just lie and wait for a moment when you have time and energy to deal with them. And then there’s that difficult line you walk of being both a friend (which Claudia and I have become over time) and still performing your job as the filmmaker. They are not the same thing.

A still from the documentary.

As a person, what was the impact of this project on you and the people you worked with?

The evening after Raja’s birth and death, I stepped out of the Auckland Airport and dissolved into a flood of exhausted tears. The beauty and power of the day were so precious, but they were also extraordinarily painful. I felt the weight of responsibility as a storyteller to do something with the amazing footage I had captured and to extend the influence of that little life. My colleagues encouraged and supported me every step of the way. Later a very talented editor and wonderful friend of mine helped with the colour grade and graphics. He was deeply impacted by Claudia’s experience and it changed his perspective on baby-loss dramatically. A lot of people are taken aback when they hear the synopsis of Five Hours with Raja, but without fail, everyone who takes the time to watch, cannot help but be moved by this family’s love and heart.

As a director and producer, what was the hardest part of the whole documentary process?

The hardest part of the whole documentary making process was deciding what opinions to take on board and when to stick with my creative instincts.

How did you find out you had been chosen as one of the films for Documentary Edge?

I had to apply so I knew that I was in the running. I got the final call when I was wandering along one of Waiheke’s gravel roads during my summer break. I was ecstatic.

What was your initial reaction and how did Claudia and Amit react when they heard the news?

I smiled from ear to ear. When you make something on your own and in relative isolation, you’re never really sure how other people will receive it, so I was happy and encouraged. I was also really pleased that Claudia and Amit would get to see their little boy on the big screen and invite all their family and friends along.

How was the premiere?

It was very cool. There were lots of tears but none of them were bad.

Claudia and Amit really enjoyed themselves. Everyone was really positive.

There were a lot of people who were quite moved. There were tears for 95 per cent of the time but people were a bit… relieved. They were saying it was refreshing to watch because it’s such a sensitive subject.

care industries as well as parents and those of us who support them.

What feedback have you had so far?

I have had such encouraging feedback so far! I have had bereaved parents and healthcare workers approach me and tell me that Claudia and Amit’s love for their son has healed their own pain, which completely blows me away and I guess just shows you the power of care and honesty. An international distributor has recently signed up Five Hours with Raja and my exegesis has been picked up by an academic publisher so hopefully this is just the beginning for this story.

Having seen the finished product, is there anything you wished you could change or had done differently?

Absolutely! There’s an endless list of things that make me cringe, but you do have to remember to be kind to yourself. I have learned a lot over the last few years, and my skills have improved, so I can’t judge this work by my current standards. I also need to remind myself that I had a nonexistent budget, which forced compromises.

What are your future plans in terms of film-making/career?

I’ve recently taken the plunge and set out on my own as Scratch Productions. It’s a scary and risky move but I guess you’ve got to be in to win. I hope that in the next few years I get the opportunity to meet more wonderful people and tell their stories too.

Do you plan to specialise in documentaries or branch out into other genres?

I love documentary filmmaking, but I’d also like to try my hand at docu-drama. I plan to take any opportunities I get to try new things and I’d love to work with people who are very good at their crafts, especially if they’re a bit different from what I am used to. I’ve been really privileged over the last few years to be mentored by Rob Harley, one of New Zealand’s best television documentary makers, and he’s taught me the importance of getting alongside people who are great at what they do.

Ed Note: Just before debate went to print we were notified that Anna won the Best Emerging New Zealand Filmmaker award at the Documentary Edge awards on Wednesday, March 3.

What was it like seeing your documentary up there on the big screen?

It was very cool. It was actually different to what I expected. Once it got going you see it with fresh eyes on the big screen. You pick up different things… I think it was a big stronger on the big screen and without the distractions you get at home. It was satisfying actually.

Who will the film appeal to, who should see it?

The people in this film are just normal, everyday Kiwis, who have faced a difficult situation with love and courage, and I think that most New Zealanders out there will relate to them in some way. In particular, anyone who has faced the loss of a baby will hopefully gain some strength from this story. I think it has things to teach the medical and issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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How to: get more munchies for your moolah So, you’ve spent all your money during O-week, now your stomach is growling and you don’t know how you’re going to eat for the next week? Figures. Lucky for you, here are some tips for cheap dinners so you don’t have to resort to baked beans on toast every night.

Returning students will know the importance mince has in a student’s life. For newbie students, get used to the idea of eating mince, a lot (read last week’s Top 10 to familiarise yourself). It’s the best buy for your buck, but if you don’t drain the excess fat off it’ll go straight to your hips. Remember, mince and beer are the two main ingredients for the Freshman 15.

If you had a REALLY good O week and you only have a tray of mince to last a week, head down to the bulk bins and stock up on red lentils. Add a couple of handfuls of lentils to your pasta sauce and voila, your mince is double the size and nobody will know.

Not a red meat fan or you’re sick of mince (you call yourself a student)? Try tuna in spring water mixed with frozen vegetables and pasta for a tuna pasta bake, or mix the tuna in with cooked rice, vegetables, some spices and make Indian fried rice. The versatility and cheapness of tuna makes it a winner during those skint weeks when Studylink hasn’t come through.

If you prefer veggie options, or you’re on a meat detox, dried chickpeas from the bulk bins are tasty and cheap. They can be used in stir-fry’s, curries, pasta bakes and salads. You can also make wicked chickpea burger patties. Just soak them in hot water for 30 minutes while multitasking with facebook or TV, then boil them for about 15 minutes and you can add them to whatever you please.

But dinner’s not only about meat; vegetables should be a key part of any dinner. Your mother didn’t lie to you, half your plate should be covered in vege goodness! “What if I don’t eat off a plate?” I hear you say? Well my advice is that you might want to start; Frend and carpet cleaner aren’t cheap.

Lucky for you, this time of year is great for cheap vegetables so make the most of it. The cheapest seasonal veges right now are broccoli, sweet corn, carrots, courgettes, capsicums and spring onions, aka cheap stir-fry. You can make your own stir-fry sauce with soy sauce, honey and lemon.

Or mix 2 tablespoons peanut butter, 1 tablespoon of soy sauce and 1 tablespoon of sweet chilli sauce with a can of coconut milk for a yummy peanut satay. Both of these are much cheaper than buying premade sauces and you can make them to suit your own taste buds (would you like that Kiwi hot or Indian hot?).

Moral of the story? Baked beans on toast is a perfectly acceptable dinner when all else is lost, but turn it into a regular thing and you might not be so popular with your new flatmates, if you know what I mean.

Alicia Crockett

Meatballs with courgettes, capsicums and pumpkin Sick of spag bol?

Are you looking for something different to do with the mince that’s hiding in your fridge or freezer? Well here’s a wee gem that I’ve adapted from Ray McVinnie’s quicksmart column in Cuisine (Issue 132) and has been a favourite of mine since I found it this time last year. The recipe can be made with beef mince as easily as lamb mince and it can be easily scaled down if you’re just cooking for 1 or 2. This is a great recipe for leftovers.

Serves 6.

Gluten free and dairy free.

Cost: $1.98 per serve by itself, $2.16 per serve with pasta.

Ingredients

500g mince – lamb or beef 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon or other herbs and spices (see tips below) 2 cloves or 2 teaspoons of minced garlic Salt and pepper to taste 2 tablespoons of oil 2 courgettes, diced 2cm 2 capsicums, cored, seeded and diced 3cm 2 cups of pumpkin, 1cm diced 1 onion, chopped 1 x 400g can crushed tomatoes in juice

Directions 1.

2.

3.

Mix the mince, cinnamon and garlic in a bowl.

Heat half the oil on a moderate heat in a large frying pan or saucepan.

Fry the onion, courgettes and capsicum for about 5 minutes until they are soft. Put into a bowl ready to add back in later.

4.

Heat the other half of the oil and put your meatballs in to brown. It doesn’t matter if they flatten out a little bit – just turn them once so you’ve browned both ‘sides’. You may need to do this in batches depending on how big your pan is.

5. Cook the pumpkin with the browned meatballs for around 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

6.

7.

Mix well and simmer for another 5-10 minutes until the pumpkin has

8.

Serve with rice, pasta or toast.

Add the tomatoes, and the other vegetables back into the saucepan.

cooked.

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Tips and things to try You may need to use more oil if your frying pan tends to stick. Just drain the meatballs on paper towels once you have browned them to get some of the extra oil out. Do the same if you’re doing batches of meatballs.

The smaller you cut the pumpkin the quicker this dish will cook. So if you’re in a hurry cut the pumpkin quite small and you should be done in 10-15 minutes.

Feel free to experiment with different herbs and spices in the meatballs – especially with beef mince. I’ve used sage, thyme, basil and the ever present mixed herbs!

issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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It’s a cruel world and we’re no exception.

New Zealand’s burgeoning animal abuse problem.

By Jared Van Huenen

A little over a month ago, as you will remember, two men walked onto a property in Wellsford and killed 33 dogs with a rifle and a shotgun. In a drawn out process the two men shot 23 puppies and 10 adult dogs one-by-one as they cowered in a cage. In a story rife with media conjecture and opinion, those are the facts.

From that point, the SPCA and police were involved, media outlets converged on the small north-Auckland town and we were forced to consider our own humanity. There’s no doubt that the dogs on that Wellsford property needed to be either destroyed or taken away – they were unregistered, untrained animals that were underfed and, if reports from locals are to believed, grossly mistreated. Despite this, public opinion is firmly entrenched – what happened on that day was wrong; it was cruel and it should never have gone that far.

That story became, for a week or two, a harrowing example of the fact that even in this small, clean, friendly country of ours, disgusting animal abuse does happen. The sad aspect of it is that many of us are unaware of just how bad it is.

In the same week as the aforementioned incident, Te Ahu Mankelow – a Gisborne man, fed a box of kittens to his dog. This came only three weeks after someone in Wellington tied a 10kg weight to their dog’s collar and threw it in the ocean.

On the same day in Auckland, a drunken man decapitated a kitten in front of his ex-girlfriend’s children.

The point here is not to make you sick (although it may end up that way). The point is simply that the problem is markedly worse than most of us think. In 2009, there were scores of animal abuse cases and while you may vaguely remember some of them, the fact that abuse cases are rising, both in numbers and in severity, is a clear indication that these animals are dying in vain. In 2007, the SPCA received 11,614 animal abuse complaints. In 2008 that figure was just over 14,000 – a rise of around 20%.

Very few people fully equate an animal life with a human. While we are often sympathetic with animals (largely due to their defenceless natures) in cases of abuse, the punishment for abusing and killing animals is obviously far less substantial than the consequences surrounding similar actions against humans. But in a majority of cases the actions aren’t similar. The crimes against animals are often much more brutal than those committed against humans, including repetitive and multiple tortures, often coupled with sickening methods of execution.

“

The current maximum prison sentence for animal cruelty is three years. However, this maximum will increase to five years very soon after a private members bill was rushed through parliament after the Wellsford dog killings. The maximum sentence for taking a human life is 17 years. These sentences seem lenient, especially when you bear in mind the maximum penalty is rarely passed down by our judges. Just a few weeks ago, the aforementioned Mr Mankelow received seven months imprisonment. To the judge presiding over the case, those kittens that were viciously killed only warranted around 210 days of punishment. This begs the question: why raise maximum sentences when our judges aren’t going to use them?

Auckland SPCA Executive Director Bob Kerridge hopes increasing the maximum will make a difference.

“Judges never sentence near the maximum. The thinking is that by increasing the maximum, the average is higher and judges will issue longer sentences.”

There are currently two kinds of animal abuse – wilful and non-wilful, with the former, Kerridge says, very hard to prove.

“The new law also has a third category…reckless ill-treatment, which has a maximum sentence of three years”.

It essentially means that cases where wilful abuse is difficult to prove, crimes won’t be demoted to nonwilful abuse (which carries a one year maximum sentence).

The longest animal abuse sentence was handed down last year to Dunedin teenager Jeffrey Hurring.

He strangled, tortured and beat a dog to death and was given a 12 month sentence. This leaves us with another question (and it’s one many of us don’t want an answer to): just what do you have to do to receive the maximum sentence for animal abuse in this country? We’ve seen some truly awful acts of cruelty in New Zealand and, certainly, the problem seems disproportionate both in terms of our small population and the level of public awareness that the issue occupies.

The issue of animal abuse becomes a much bigger issue when we consider the prominent link between this abuse and anti-social behaviour toward people. There have been studies since the 14th century linking animal abuse to more serious crimes and statistics, showing animal abuse is often a better indicator of violent crime than previous convictions.

To the judge presiding over the case, those kittens that were viciously killed only warranted around 210 days of punishment.

This begs the question: why raise maximum sentences when our judges aren’t going to use them?

”

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The Boston Strangler, Ted Bundy (who killed a minimum of 35 people in the 1970s), David Berkowitz (a serial killer who belonged to a satanic cult) and Jeffrey Dahmer (serial murderer, rapist and necrophiliac) all have well documented histories of animal abuse. Associatedcontent. com states that “people who abuse animals are five times more likely to abuse humans than people who do not”. The statistics are undeniable and animal abuse becomes decidedly more problematic when considering this link.

The ‘Violence Graduation Hypothesis’ suggests if violent behaviour is not curbed at a young age, offenders are likely go on to commit worse crimes. This could mean increasingly violent outcomes for animals and, as the behaviour progresses, humans. In the United States there is a First Strike campaign which, among other things, recognises the animalhuman abuse link and looks to implement a strategy for young animal abusers. The end goal is to provide other vents for the anger that some young people experience so they can continue to lead a violence-free life.

While New Zealand has its own First Strike campaign, it relates more to an interconnected relationship between police, the SPCA, Child Youth and Family and Victim Support to provide a better service for pets and children.

The goal in mind is to prevent further abuse and the focus here is the after-the-fact assistance. We do not have a system of early intervention.

In fact, if animal abuse is even recognised in the first place, it is often considered a misdemeanour and tossed on a pile of ignored youth crime like shoplifting and tagging. These crimes are put down to misled young people mixing with the wrong crowd. Left to fester, the anger that causes these actions can and will lead to increasingly anti-social behaviours.

“

members bill by Simon Bridges in February. Craig Dunn says it’s about time – in nine years of Labour Government the issue wasn’t brought up once.

The Paw Justice petition (www.pawjustice.co.nz) aims to get a million New Zealanders against pet abuse, with the goal of putting pressure on the legal system to implement very real, very substantial consequences for animal abusers.

For decades we have known that animal abusers, if left to their own devices, will abuse, assault and kill other people – it’s only a matter of time. In these decades we’ve also established that animal violence breeds more animal violence in teenagers and children. We now know animal abuse is one of the leading early indicators of pyschopathy. Animal abusers are more likely to be involved in gangs, in sexual attacks and violent crime. The fact sheets have been on the desks of psychiatrists, psychologists and politicians for years. There is no ambiguity involved here.

Te Ahu Mankelow will be out of prison in time to celebrate New Year’s Eve in 2011. The video on his cellphone showing five tiny kittens being torn to shreds by a violently trained pitbull will have been erased. By then most people will have forgotten. Not until Mankelow or someone similar rapes or murders another person will we begin to ask questions again.

For hundreds of animals and a few human victims, those questions will be too late.

Why not do something now?

For ways that you can help, check out spca.org.nz as well as pawjustice.co.nz (or search for pawjustice on Facebook).

We need to name and shame these people. We need to put pressure on judges. It’s about zero per cent tolerance.

”

Taffy Hotene, who spent most of his adult life in prison before being paroled and murdering Kylie Jones in 2001, was strangling cats and mice to death in primary school. There was no intervention system in place and while evidence of the animal-human abuse link has been clear since the 14th century, New Zealand still hasn’t implemented one.

Paw Justice Founder Craig Dunn says it’s time for a change in the way we approach these offenders.

“We need to name and shame these people. We need to put pressure on judges. It’s about zero per cent tolerance”.

Paw Justice was responsible for initiating the talk about increasing the maximum animal abuse sentence, which was adopted as a private

issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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The Last Listicle

by Mike Atkins

The Oxford international dictionary of made up shit

defines a listicle as a portmanteau of “list” and “article”. It’s a bastard of a journalistic genre that no writer would want to be without. You know the ones that I’m talking about: “25 iPhone apps that will drive him crazy in bed”, “Rock’s 50 greatest wearers of bike shorts” etc...

These articles are nothing but fleshed-out, recontextualised information, with the bare minimum of analysis. They’re also shameless opportunities to show off that I can name five rock stars with the christian-name Peter.

But as I say, they’re also a godsend to any writer who’s ever worked to a deadline. Come up with a concept, brain-storm some entries on the train to work, and fart out something print worthy in 25 minutes flat. (I feel like that masked magician who tells all the magician’s secrets on TV specials telling you this). Which is why I do not begrudge any writer who uses the format. In fact, you will most definitely catch me doing it from time to time (I try to limit myself to a couple a year*).

Music journalism is particularly susceptible to the scourge of listicles, because music’s primary mode of judging merit – the charts – is already a list. Except the charts are also mainstream, prompting every genre, and genre publication, to have its own alternative chart. So what starts out, quite reasonably with the “Indie Chart”, or the “Hip-Hop Chart” quickly degenerates into “The top 20 songs with ‘oooh-oooh-ah’ choruses”.

Plus, what is an album (or a compilation album) if not a list of songs? ...and let’s not forget the music geeks’ autistic-like propensity to revel in random facts that are only tangentially related to music.

So here, I present to you the last word on all this nonsense: The Random Listicle. In this listicle, every entry is a category unto itself. There is no connective theme except for Dadaist madness, and therefore no danger of deeper analysis.

Song about incest: “I’m Lonely (But I Ain’t That Lonely Yet)”. -The White Stripes Jack White may be only the 3rd most famous musician to have committed incest*, but he’s certainly the most famous one to have written a song about it. And it’s a lovely song too, which closes the tragically underrated album “Get Behind Me Satan”. (Wait a minute; weren’t they married, not related?

– Ed).

Song Involving Pimp-ships: “Knock You Down”. -Keri Hilson, Feat.

Kanye West & Ne-Yo Ne-Yo used to be Commander In Chief of His Pimp-ship flyin’ high. What rank did you attain on your Pimp-ship? I bet the Pimp-air-force wouldn’t even allow you on board a Pimp-ship because you don’t even have a perm.

Unfortunately Ne-Yo lost his comission when a pretty little missile shot him

out of the sky. Pharrell Williams was duly appointed to the vacant commission because of his experience riding spaceships which are also asses.

Song Not By Mick Jagger Which Alleges That Mick Jagger Is A Really Good Looking Guy: “Drive-In Saturday”. -David Bowie.

Here’s how powerful Mick Jagger’s sexual power is: in the distant future when men are often called Buddy, people live in domes, and telephones are liquid for some reason, people will have forgotten how to have sex. They will relearn sex by watching the video for “It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll (But I Like it)” , - the one in which Mick Jagger prances around in foam in a sailor suit. This is all true, and David Bowie knows it because ingesting fish tanks full of coke allows you to see into the future.

Song In Which The Video Shows A Guy Getting Killed With A Record Thrown At His Head: “Me, Myself, & I”. -De La Soul.

That totally happens in the video. The record totally slices through that stupid bearskin hat haircut that he has, and embeds itself in his head. It’s totally awesome.

Song That’s Possibly About Jessica Simpson’s Dad, Or Billy Ray Cyrus: “Antichrist Television Blues”. -Arcade Fire.

Here are the facts. 1. The song is about a fanatically Christian parking building attendant who is inspired by 9/11 to manufacture his 13 year-old daughter into an over-sexed popstar. 2. Jessica Simpson’s dad is creepy. 3. have you seen Mullholland Dr? Billy Ray Cyrus is in it, and he’s creepier than Robert Loggia in a David Lynch film; that’s pretty fucking creepy. 4. The song is creepy.

Ever Wondered Why They Put Those Suicide Guards On Grafton Bridge? “Suicide II”. -Proud Scum.

“Come on john/your time has come/it’s time to go/so don’t be slow/jump off Grafton Briiiiiiiidge!” if you want to know how awful local punk music ever got, listen to this little number. You’ll find it on the AK79 compilation. Just listen to that drumming.

So I make up my own example to prove my own point. Lazy? Perhaps. But lets see you write 900 words in half an hour. *Not including this one. Which makes this my third listicle. Rimshot! **After Jerry Lee Lewis, and “Papa” John Phillips of “the Mamas and the Papas”. That’s a future listicle.

How to Throw an Oscars Party

by Jess Cann

OK, hands up: who would love to go to the Oscars?

Designer gowns, the hottest celebrities, beating out the likes of Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks for the gold… it’d be awesome. But, let’s face it – you’re probably reading this in your little old lecture with your non-award winning friends right now. However, some people love the Oscars so much they recreate their own Oscars ceremony/party wherever they are (just read the editorial). This is usually because they want to feel like they’re part of the glitz and the glam, or at least feel like they’re hanging out with their BFFL Meryl.

I personally think Oscar parties are way cool, as you get to feel a part of something AND it’s an excuse to dress all fancy-like.

So, keeping in mind that the Oscars is probably starting to broadcast while you are in your last class of the day, here are some tips on throwing a great Oscars party when you get home (quick, text your Mum and get her to MySky the ceremony).

Nibbles and Drinks

People love mini foods. Whether it’s mini sausage rolls, mini club sandwiches, mini quiches, mini whatever, people go crazy for them.

Make sure you stock up on as many different kinds of small foods as you can. Also think about how to present them. Stealing a couple of your grandmother’s silver trays would be good. Presentation is everything.

Remember to buy a couple of bottles of Moėt too. No celebration of an Oscar win is complete without some champagne.

Roll out the red carpet

If you can’t find a long piece of red carpet, just staple some red doormats together; that’ll work just fine.

Attire

Girls (or boys if they’re that way inclined) must dress in flowing ball gowns (or a cocktail dress) and beautiful heels, like they’re going to the real thing. Think 7th form ball. Boys (or girls if they feel like it) must wear some sort of formal outfit. Iron your shirts, dry clean your pants, bust out a bow-tie and polish your shoes please.

Games

It’s always best to have some pre-awards ceremony games to get everyone into the mood and the excitement that is the Oscars. A good one is the put-a-sticky-note-on-your-forehead guessing game (does it even have a proper name?). What you do is stick a post-it onto everyone’s head which has the name of a famous person on it. They have to guess who they are, but only by asking yes or no questions. If you get a question right, you’re allowed another one, but if you get one wrong, you have to wait until your next turn. Make sure you have prizes for the winners and punishments for the losers. Another good idea is to get everyone to write down their Oscar predictions (if they haven’t seen it) for the major categories and whoever gets the most right wins.

Watch the Oscars Duh.

Swag

Your guests will be extremely disgruntled if you don’t send them off without a goodie bag of some sort. Samples of perfume, a bottle of premium water and a snack bag of Shapes ought to do the trick. Failure to do this could see you exiled from the “in” group. Oh no! But don’t worry, hanging out with me isn’t that bad!

Make sure you personalise the party in some way, either by adding decorations or having a butler for each guest (way classy). Oh, and don’t forget to invite me.

Make sure you state that everyone must dress appropriately, which means no jeans or sneakers under any circumstances.

issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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Awards... and all that jazz Samantha McQueen predicts who will take home the gold The Academy Awards, or the Oscars as they are more famously known, airs today and wraps up a season of glamour, prestige and shiny awards.

Officially known as the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science Awards, the first awards ceremony was held on May 16, 1929 as a way to spruce up Hollywood’s image.

You see, Hollywood hasn’t always been the glamorous city it is now.

The very first awards were held at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel to an audience of only 250 with no broadcast whatsoever. Look at them now; each ceremony is televised to millions around the world, including little old New Zealand.

The Oscars have been making history over the years and this year is no exception. Avatar, the highest grossing film of all time, is going up against The Hurt Locker, which will be the lowest grossing film to win Best Picture if it takes out the crown. James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow (Avatar and The Hurt Locker respectively) go head-to-head for best director in a competition made more intense by the fact that they used to be married.

Awkward.

In a race more predictable than most years, will there massive upsets?

Let’s look at some of the major categories being announced today and predict who will walk away with the gold, who should have won and any history made along the way.

Best Picture

The Academy has expanded their usual five Best Picture Nominees to 10; a move not done since 1939. Some have applauded the move, while others have bitched about it but at the end of the day there’s only one winner and it’s a two-horse race this year.

Nominees

Avatar The Blind Side District 9 An Education The Hurt Locker Inglorious Basterds Precious A Serious Man Up Up in the Air Who will win: Avatar Who should win: The Hurt Locker. The category is not Best Special Effects Picture, and while Avatar rightfully has a fistful of special effects nods, it doesn’t have any writing or acting nominations (The Hurt Locker has both). The last film to win this award without either of these was Grand Hotel in 1932, which was only nominated in the Best Picture category.

History Making: If Up pulls off the mother of all upsets, it will be the first animated film to win the Best Picture award. As it is, Up is only the second animated film ever to be nominated, with the first being Beauty and the Beast in 1992.

Best Director Nominees

Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker James Cameron – Avatar Lee Daniels – Precious Jason Reitman – Up in the Air Quentin Tarantino – Inglourious Basterds Who will win: Bigelow has the slight advantage, having won the DGA (Directors Guild of America) award, (52 out of the last 56 winners went on to win the Oscar), but Cameron won the Golden Globe, making this almost equal footing.

Who should win: James Cameron Biggest Upset/History Making: Lee Daniels. If Daniels wins this award he would not only cause the biggest upset at this year’s Oscars, but he will also write history as being the first African American to take out the Best Director prize.

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Best Actor Nominees

Jeff Bridges – Crazy Heart George Clooney – Up in the Air Colin Firth – A Single Man Morgan Freeman – Invictus Jeremy Renner – The Hurt Locker Who will win: Jeff Bridges – the Oscar already has his name on it.

Who should win: Morgan Freeman –he should automatically get it for finally playing Nelson Mandela.

Biggest Upset: George Clooney – not statistically, but you know audiences will be calling it that if anyone but Jeff Bridges wins.

Best Actress Nominees

Sandra Bullock – The Blind Side Helen Mirren – The Last Station Carey Mulligan – An Education Gabourey Sidibe – Precious Meryl Streep – Julie and Julia Who will win: Sandra Bullock Who should win: Sandra Bullock– The Blind Side was Bullock’s film.

She may be a veteran rom-commers on-screen but this is her first Oscar nomination.

Biggest Upset: If they award it as a tie between Bullock and Meryl Streep. But seriously, how awesome would that be?!

Best Supporting Actor Nominees

Matt Damon – Invictus Woody Harrelson – The Messenger Christopher Plummer – The Last Station Stanley Tucci – The Lovely Bones Christoph Waltz – Inglourious Basterds Who will win: Christoph Waltz Who should win: Christoph Waltz Biggest Upset: Anyone but Christoph Waltz

Best Supporting Actress Nominees

Penelope Cruz – Nine Vera Farmiga – Up in the Air Maggie Gyllenhaal – Crazy Heart Anna Kendrick – Up in the Air Mo’nique – Precious Who will win: Mo’nique Who should win: Mo’nique Biggest Upset: Anna Kendrick – Imagine the Twilight series having an Oscar winner in their cast?

Best Animated Feature Film Nominees

Coraline Fantastic Mr Fox The Princess and the Frog The Secret of Kells Up Who will win: Up – It’s the only film in this category which is also up for Best Picture. It won’t win that award, but it will definitely win this one.

Who should win: Up – seriously, those first 10 minutes were heartbreaking.

Who would win in any other year: Fantastic Mr. Fox – the animation was out of this world and 20th Century Fox (LOL) finally provided some much needed competition for Disney.

Any Sound/Editing or Mixing awards Nominees

No one has bothered to look – they don’t stand a chance against Avatar. Although I think Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is up for one. Seriously.

Oscar Moments

“you like me. Right now, you really like me” is the one of the most The Academy Awards are as famous for line, common (and often misquoted) catchphrases in Hollywood and was their gold statues as they are for the weird parodied by Field herself the year after when she presented the best actor award. and the weepy emotional displays that unfold year after year. Here’s a look at the #5 Julia Roberts thanking everyone in the top 10 memorable moments of the Oscars. universe

#10 Anna Paquin becoming world famous in New Zealand

It’s a New Zealand pop culture moment: Kiwi Anna Paquin made Aotearoa proud when she picked up the gong for the best supporting actress award at the 1994 Academy Awards, making her the second youngest person ever to win an Oscar. Anna was 11-years-old at the time and the applause and realisation was a bit much for her. Clutching her statue in her purple and green ensemble – complete with purple hat – Anna stood at the podium hyperventilating for 25 seconds. Just when you think someone is going to usher her away from the stage, Anna launches into a short list of thank yous in a thick Kiwi accent. Not bad, New Zealand.

Whether you love it or hate it, there’s no denying Julia Roberts’ acceptance speech for best actress in 2001 was one to remember. It had it all. There was obvious exultation at finally getting her moment, a constant cackle, a scolding at the conductor (who she refers to as “stick man”) for starting the music and a scroll of thanks in one of the longest speeches in Oscar history. That’s how Julia Roberts does it.

#4 James Cameron proving why he doesn’t get writing nominations

There’s no doubt when it comes to box office success, director James Cameron is king. He has the number one and two spot for highest grossing films of all time and 23 Oscar nominations between the two.

However, when he accepted the best director award for Titanic in 1998 and proclaimed “I’m the king of the world”, he cemented his place in the world’s cheesiest Oscar lines.

#9 Roberto Benigni professing his love for everyone #3 Marlon Brando refusing the little gold The tragic dramedy (dramatic comedy) won best foreign language man film in 1999 and Roberto Benigni (director and lead actor) was so happy

to have won for Life is Beautiful he jumped onto his seat and clambers over the rows in front as he made his way to the stage. Later in the night, when he won the gold for best actor, he thanks pretty much everybody and tells the audience to lie down so he can make love to everybody.

Europeans are always so enthusiastic. (For those of you who haven’t seen Life is Beautiful, stop reading and go rent it now. Ed)

#8 Angelina incestuous

Jolie

being

creepy

and

Angie may be the picture of sainthood now, but 10 years ago she was a wild child. In one of her more infamous moves, Jolie, looking more goth than glam, made out with her brother on the red carpet of the 2000 Academy Awards. To make the audience even more uncomfortable, when she won the award for best supporting actress, Jolie declared that she was in “so in love” with her brother. Ew.

#7 David Niven ad-libbing after a hairy situation

During the 1974 Academy Awards, a man named Robert Opal decided to make history. Not cinematic history, but history of becoming the first name to streak across the Oscar stage on live TV. NBC managed to save viewers at home from getting a close look down there, but the real winner of the night was presenter David Niven. He was oblivious to the antics going on behind him for most of the short streak, but then came back with the line: “just think: the only laugh that man will probably ever get is for stripping and showing off his shortcomings”. Gold.

#6 Sally Field, who just wants to be liked

While it was her second best actress Oscar, Sally Field couldn’t stop the sap coming out of her mouth during the 1984 Academy Awards. The issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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Some actors have used their speeches as a platform to campaign their political views; a move which creates disapproval and awkwardness in Hollywood. Marlon Brando outdid all these revolutionaries when he refused his best actor award in 1973. In fact, he never turned up to the award show, instead sending supposed Apache Indian Sacheen Littlefeather on stage to read a portion of a mammoth speech written

by Brando about Native American rights. That’s what happens when you screw with the Godfather.

#2 Hattie McDaniel being the first AfricanAmerican performer to win a gold statue

In a world where African-Americans were seen only as slaves, Hattie McDaniel made history as the first African-American to win an Oscar in 1940. Her acceptance speech for her award as best supporting actress, which she won for playing Mammy in Gone with the Wind, was humble and filled with thanks for the Academy, even though they had sectioned her off from the rest of the guests in a special “black section”. Way to keep it classy, Hattie.

#1 Adrien Brody getting some action with his Oscar

Adrien Brody’s stunt during the 2003 Academy Awards is one that has been parodied many times. Everyone was surprised when Adrien Brody won the best actor Oscar. After all, he was up against heavyweights like Jack Nicholson and Daniel Day-Lewis. However, no one was more surprised than Halle Berry when Brody ran on stage and pash attacked her at the podium. Brody fought off a sexual harassment suit though, with a heartfelt speech thanking his parents and remembering the soldiers fighting in Iraq. All while Berry stood side of stage while the saliva from her face. Well played Mr Brody.

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Böl on the Dole Hello again and welcome to your second dose of Böl on the Dole. In case you missed my last

column, I’m an unemployed graduate. So, in between crafting cover letters (which I seem to be incredibly inept at, considering my lack of call backs) I’m sharing pearls of wisdom with you and giving you a taste of what’s in store after graduation if you too miss the employment train.

This week, I’m delving into a topic that we all love to talk about, love*. So here it is: “Dating on the Dole” or “Sex on a Shoe String”. Yes, that’s right; I’m talking about how you can get more, erm, bang for your buck.

In the past my dating patterns were typical of a student; drink, stumble, decide someone is a bit alright, considering the club’s lighting quality. Then, I conjure my best seductive smile, gaze adoringly across the bar (complete with lazy eye if I’m in top form), small talk and showing the d-floor my best Beyonce imitation before we head home for a complimentary yoga lesson.

Note: Because both yoga and drinking are strenuous sports, we’d even have our first date on the way home – dropping into BK for sustenance before bartering with the taxi driver.

If the morning light wasn’t too cruel we might even “hang out” again, followed with perhaps some eating, drinking, yoga and arguing.

We’d repeat this process until the inevitable break-up and I will return to the decision that all men are douchebags, arseholes, fuckfaces and selfish twats.

Being a graduate (and therefore mature, refined and most of all, adult), I’d assumed it was time to leave these tried and true methods behind. Perhaps I’d be sipping Gewürztraminer whilst laughing at a successful barrister’s jokes or discussing current affairs with a charming engineer over coq au vin. I thought we’d be doing yoga on 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and taking weekend escapes to France.... or at least to Wellington.

Seems I set my sights a teensy bit too high.

“Hi, I’m Sarah and I don’t do anything!!!!!!!” doesn’t make for successful first date conversation and complaining about the economy doesn’t exactly scream ‘sex appeal’. That’s if I even manage to wangle my way into a date - sitting in my parents’ house in small town New Zealand isn’t the ideal way to meet eligible men.

But enough on my problems, how do you have a fun date without any cash flow?

I’ve done some googling and it seems there are some great ideas out there that I’m keen to share with you.

One website suggests getting an astronomy book from the library and heading out of the city to check out stars. Ooo, how very A Walk to Remember. A flower or bird watching book while hiking works too.

Another site suggests making a kite with newspaper and string and flying it together (good luck with getting it to stay up... the kite I mean).

My personal fave, however, is spending the whole evening dressed and acting as characters from a play, movie or book that you both enjoyed.

I’d choose Moulin Rouge (minus the TB thing).

Now, if those ideas don’t get hearts racing, I don’t know what will!

Enjoy your second week of uni, get organised and have fun! Oh, and if you happen to know any lawyers, doctors or oil tycoons who like current affairs, buying diamonds, yoga and supporting unemployed grads, let me know!

Böl x *Don’t you mean sex Sarah? – Ed.

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But hey! That’s what I think

by Ben Hope

I work in a watch shop; we repair watches.

It is a pretty cool job and here I found what I reckon fascinates me the most. Size matters. Not just XXL, but all sizes. In watches you can have screws and gems smaller than an ant that need cleaning and oiling and screwing in. A hundred parts each smaller than a fingernail making a watch tick accurately for nearly 100 years. That is amazing. We often have to use microscopes and those cool eyepiece magnifiers. Every time I look at a watch now I wonder at how these tiny screws hold such highly efficient machinery together.

This contrasts to wandering along the Viaduct seeing cruise ships higher than AUT tower, with thousands of people and shopping malls and multiple swimming pools floating, actually being buoyant at the weight of 150,000 tons (and that’s a small - medium ship!). It’s right up there with how airplanes fly. I reckon anything that extreme in size, whether enormous or itty bitty, will forever astound me. Sure, I know there is science and explanation behind it, but sometimes you just want a bit of mystery.

I’m going off on a slight tangent now. After a near death experience involving an idiot in a Dodge Ram, a friend started hurling abuse about the size of his phallus and a psychological complex. Apparently, his feeling of inadequacy resulted in him needing to buy an oversized, fuel guzzling machine to overcompensate. He then suggested he was probably a fire fighter because there are always trucks parked outside fire stations.

I contemplated this outburst but then realised there was a slight flaw. Let us say the aforementioned man did actually have an oversized Johnson which may prevent him from being able to fit in a more economical hatchback seat. Therefore, the man has no option but to buy a bigger car in order to have bigger seats in which to place his hypothetical third leg. My friend responded by saying I take the fun out of everything. I just enjoy reasoning.

On another tangent, let us look at Tiger Woods. Well, more specifically, one of the many mistresses of the golfer. I loathe people who leech on to a situation and won’t let go until they get what they feel they deserve. I feel bad for Tiger. I understand he’s done horrible things and I don’t condone adultery at all, but this is where I draw a line. It is shallow (but who isn’t from time to time) but Tiger’s wife is hot. In fact, Elin Woods is more than hot; she’s a truly beautiful woman. Some of Tiger’s mistresses, to put it bluntly, are not.

The majority of my incredulousness is with Veronica Siwik-Daniels, aka Joslyn James. The woman is a porn star and has shown she is most likely suffering from daddy issues. She was upset when Tiger decided to break things off with her, but nearly two months since the revelation that she wasn’t the only “other woman” she seems in more shock and grief than Elin. She’s expressed anger at the media for invading her personal life. Umm, did you not realise when people found out she was screwing one of the most famous sportsman ever she would have to be on TV. And again, what about Tiger’s wife?!

So in conclusion, I like really small things and really big things, I really don’t like Joslyn James and I reckon Tiger is still a half decent guy.

Cycling in Copenhagen

The Older Perspective.

by Michelle Pollock

John K Probert

Well, here we are with a brand new semester at AUT underway. We have a new editor for our magazine

and a new president for AuSM. However with all this change, and me also another year older, (66), some things should remain the same to provide some stability and continuity. So here I am again hoping that my collection of thoughts from time to time might prove of some value!

For newcomers who do not know me, I was born in Melbourne, Australia and have a working background of military service, (including war-service in South Vietnam, 1968/69). For a number of years I was a parish minister with The Salvation Army in Australia and New Zealand. I have worked in local and, national government departments and in the not-for profit sector. All in all a satisfying background of academic study and work experience down through the years that seem to have passed so quickly.

Then my management position was disestablished and I was made redundant. This led to me losing my house through not being able to maintain mortgage payments as I could not obtain any further work, largely due to my age and “over qualifications”! Coming back to fulltime study at AUT has got my life back on track and looking back now, being made redundant has proved to have been a good thing!

So that’s a brief pen picture of me. Now let’s turn to what tertiary study and social life can mean for you here at AUT. Many of you are newly embarking on the journey known as tertiary study. You make up the AUT family of some 70 plus nations comprising those who are new, those returning, and those moving to post-grad study.

What incredible diversity we represent and what potential is held within you each one as you open yourselves to the challenges and possibilities of your various disciplines of study.

Globally the world is a very changed environment than it was from mid 2008 when the fiscal position of nations one by one went into free-fall.

There are signs that recovery is happening, but globally it is patchy, and here in New Zealand significant economic decisions will be required when the government delivers its budget in May. The reality that many of you will face moving forward is very different to that which I encountered on first entering the workforce in Australia in the 1960’s, prior to attending University in the 1970’s.

AUT has set itself the challenge of being the “University for the Changing World”. The methodology and ethos underpinning the delivery of its courses is to best equip you within your faculty and discipline to meet what it means to be the best, and to succeed in your preferred employment moving forward.

What I am simply saying here is what has been stated during orientation, the resources and support are all here. It is your call to take the ball and run with it if I phrase it in rugby language.

Participate as fully as you can in all aspects of campus life, being mindful of getting the balance right in terms of what is required of you academically and the time you need to devote to this.

Make semester one, 2010 a winner for you in every way!

issue 1 FEBruary 2010

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Six weeks ago I travelled for 30 hours from sunny, warm New Zealand to snowy, cold Denmark. There was a good reason though; I am spending a

semester on exchange at Copenhagen Business School (CBS). CBS is highly regarded for its academic programme and is one of the largest business schools in Europe. I have already completed three years of my BA (Social Sciences) and Bachelor of Business conjoint, so this will be my last semester of study before Co-op.

When it was first suggested that I go on exchange I dismissed the idea completely. A few months later, a weekend spent visiting a friend studying at Otago University changed my mind and after a year of application and planning I’ve finally made it here. Is it everything I thought it would be? Everything and more.

I’m living in a CBS residence called Holger Danskes Vej with 60-odd other exchange students - a crazy mix of Australians, Canadians and Americans, along with others from all around Europe. Our residence is known as the party residence. We have lived up to that already.

Gigantic Australia Day party on a Monday? Tick. 60+ people in a kitchen? Tick. On a more serious note, it is a 5-minute bike ride (more on bikes another time!) away from CBS, has shared kitchens that allow us all to hang out and a nice open courtyard.

During the first two weeks here the 500-odd exchange students followed a busy introduction program – Danish language for Orientation classes during the day, followed by night activities to introduce us to Danish culture and the party scene in Copenhagen.

After just two weeks it felt like we had known everyone forever and it will be great to spend the next five months living here.

After these two weeks it was time to start classes. Although I study a conjoint degree at AUT, I am only studying Business papers here.

CBS is a specialist business university, offering a number of courses, including language and culture degrees. I am studying a range of papers from across three different study programmes – at CBS you complete a specialised degree, for example International Business and Politics, Service Management, or Business Administration. So far my classes seem a bit harder than their equivalents at AUT, but they should be okay!

A major difference between CBS and AUT is that you are only graded on a final exam. So no essays, no tests, no presentations... but a scary thought that you have a whole grade resting on one exam!

Especially when it’s a 20-minute oral exam. Have to say I’m not looking forward to that, especially with my Kiwi accent! The lecturers mostly hold other jobs or positions within the industries they teach in and this fits in well with the industry-focussed courses AUT offers.

A major change is a switch from often studying New Zealand and the Asia-Pacific region, to looking at a global perspective from a European point of view.

Copenhagen is an amazing city, filled with culture, castles, cycles and crazy Danes. Will keep you updated on what it’s like to be on exchange through debate this semester – classes, cycling, the “hygge” concept, the Danes and Danish – along with some travel. And if you have the chance to go on exchange? Do it. You won’t regret it!

You can also follow me at: www.michellepollock.wordpress.com

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Dear Agony Aunt I have moved away from home for the first time. I am only two weeks into my first semester and I don’t think I’m coping very well. I’m alright looking after myself and have some new friends but I feel so lonely and home sick for my family. I can’t seem to get them off my mind and wonder what they are doing, especially my mum. I just want her reassurance all the time, without it I feel hopeless. Please help. Do you think I should quit uni now before I get too far into my degree?

From home sick

Dear home sick Take heart you will not be the only one feeling this way. Lots of students will be feeling the same and some of them will not have moved away from home. It’s normal to feel home sick, after all this is something new for you. It’s important to try to remind yourself why you decided to come to study at uni in the first place. What is your motivation? Remind yourself of your ambition and aspirations and allow yourself to get carried away.

This is an exciting time for you. Your family are still there. You can call, email and text home regularly to keep in touch. I know it’s not the same as being there in person but it will get easier in time and eventually you will begin to feel more confident on your own.

Sometimes, however, people are unable to stop themselves from sliding further and further into a spiral of sadness and isolation. If this is happening to you, don’t hesitate to get help NOW. Health Counselling and Wellbeing located in WB219 (city campus phone 9219992) and AS104 (North Shore campus phone 9219998) have fully trained counsellors, doctors and nurses. You could talk to any of these people. You do not need an appointment to see a nurse. This is often a good place to start if you are not sure where to go for help. You can bring a friend with you if this would make you more comfortable. If you feel unable to speak to another person face to face you could try online counselling. This can be accessed on the AUT website at www.aut.ac.nz. All consultations regardless of whether they are online or in person are strictly confidential. No information will be released to ANYONE without your permission.

SOME THINGS THAT MIGHT HELP 1.

Talk to someone – nurse, doctor, counsellor, tutor, student advisor, student mentor, chaplain, friends.

2.

Keep in contact with the people you have left behind. Gain strength from their support.

3.

Remember many other students will be feeling the same as you.

4.

Make friends and contacts through shared activities. Try popping in to AUSM or clicking onto their website, there is always heaps of fun stuff going on.

5.

Give yourself time to adjust to your new surroundings. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and be realistic about what to expect about your life at university.

6.

Enjoy yourself!

7.

If you are not coping – GET HELP. This agony aunt column was brought to you by the team at Health, Counselling and Wellbeing. If you have a question you would like answered email debate@aut.ac.nz and put Agony Aunt as the subject or drop it in to the Health, Counseling and Wellbeing office.

&

26

debate

suggestions

with Tenani French Kill It!

Horoscopes ARIES (March 21-April 19) Don’t act like you’re better than everyone else. Everyone else thinks you’re a prick.

Celebrity Aries: Mariah Carey, Lady Gaga, Susan Boyle.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Ke$ha I’m sorry but anyone who looks this equine and sings songs called Blah Blah Blah doesn’t deserve to be a recording artist. Not that I have anything against horses, I just don’t think humans should mate with them.

Use It!

Orientation Week It’s the one week of the university year when banks are actually keen to talk to you and get you in to ridiculously unaffordable debt. There are also stalls giving away free stuff, calendars, student diaries, sausages and drinks. Plus you get the opportunity to sign up for sports teams and student clubs, so whether you’re into basketball or singing, there’s probably a club for you.

See It!

Toy Story & Toy Story 2 Double Feature in 3D Who doesn’t like Toy Story? Two of Pixar’s finest works are now together in one movie, for one ticket, and in three dimensions. Released as a double feature in 3D, the two original Toy Stories are out again to build hype for the upcoming Toy Story 3 (as if I could be any more excited), which is due out in June. Go see it! It definitely reminds you just how good animated films can be (you hear that, Dreamworks?).

You’re a good looking bunch Taurus. People often catch you taking photos of yourself in front of the mirror. Tone it down. Celebrity Taurus: Jessica Alba, Robert Pattinson.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21) You’re either the coolest kid in school or the loner who sits in the corner writing music about girls they can’t have. It’s probably the latter. Time to nut up or shut up. Celebrity Gemini: Mr T, Naomi Campbell, Michael Cera

CANCER (June 22-July 22) People have started sitting 10 feet away from you because of your tendency to shout everything you say. Stop talking so loud. In fact, stop talking. Celebrity Cancer: Pamela Anderson, Lindsay Lohan, David Hasselhoff.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You’re constantly selling other people’s possession on Trade Me so you can pay rent.

Celebrity Leo: Daniel Radcliffe, Anna Paquin, Sandra Bullock, Barack Obama.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You prefer to rely on luck rather than talent, which is bad because you have neither.

Celebrity Virgo: Blake Lively, Andy Roddick, Adam Sandler, Heidi Montag, Nicole Ritchie

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) After exploding with rage at the 17th person who told you a tampon joke, you are now seen as a neurotic schizophrenic with no sense of humour.

Celebrity Libra: Hilary Duff, Sacha Baron Cohen, Zac Efron.

Watch It!

The Apprentice: New Zealand Ok, ok, stop laughing, this one is actually good! I don’t know whether it’s the NZ Don (property tycoon Terry Serepisos) or the fantastically stylish editing but I’m really enjoying this first season of the NZ Apprentice more than I have the last couple American ones. Give it a try, it’s certainly not as painful to watch as NZ Idol or New Zealand’s Got Talent was.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) You idolize Lord of the Rings and think its cosmic fate that you have the same sign as Peter Jackson. Celebrity Scorpio: Katy Perry, Peter Jackson, Anne Hathaway, Ryan Gosling.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You will plead with the stars to win lots of money this week. Buy a lotto ticket and find out. Celebrity Sagittarius: Britney Spears, Jay-Z, Taylor Swift.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Rage At It!

Public transport fare raises Seriously? This is no way to start a new uni year or encourage people to use public transport. Stop raising the fares then maybe people will give up their cars. I asked someone on a bus today what they thought and they said: “It’s fuckin’ dumb”. My thoughts exactly.

You are tight with money but will save a lot this year since you spend your Fridays at the library. Celebrity Capricorn: Jordin Sparks, Ryan Seacrest, Tiger Woods.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) People also know you as the person who can never say no to a dare. This will lead to at least one arrest this year for indecent exposure. Celebrity Aquarius: Alicia Keys, Adam Lambert, Oprah Winfrey, Justin Timberlake

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You feel compelled to revisit the 90s after seeing that a bunch of your favourite stars share the same sign as you. Celebrity Pisces: James Van Der Beek, Freddie Prinze Jr, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

27

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Couture or Controversy?

The rules of the red carpet.

by Heather Rutherford, our newest fashion in the field.

The Academy Awards, more commonly known as the Oscars, is no doubt the highlight of the year for the film industry.

It also is a very important event on the fashion calendar. Around the globe, millions of people tune in to watch one of the highest rated shows on the box. No doubt this high level of interest is because the Oscars draw out a higher concentration of celebrities than any other event during awards season.

Anna Wintour was the first fashion magazine editor to put a celebrity on the cover of Vogue, and since then the “Cult of the Celebrity” has snowballed. When you combine the star factor of the Oscars, with high end fashion on the red carpet, the result can be career defining. How it works is, when an actress decides, “hey, I’m going to attend the Academy Awards”, designers bend over backwards to woo her, her stylist and the rest of her entourage so they can dress her for this prestigious event. The bigger the celebrity, the bigger the woo. Often the very big fashion houses have people whose job it is to get celebrities to wear their clothing. That’s right, their job is to woo. Then, on the red carpet the media is dying to find out who designed the fabulous dress the actress is wearing. Boom: instant publicity. Ideally she wins an award, which in turn gives the fashion house responsible even more media attention. When Halle Berry was nominated for (and won) an Academy Award for her performance in Monsters Ball, her stylist dressed her in a then, not-as-well known Lebanese designer, Elie Saab. Her dress will go down as one of the most memorable dresses in Oscar history, putting Elie Saab firmly on the fashion forefront.

Often, celebrities develop a loyalty to a designer and will be partial to their designs on the red carpet. One famous example of this is Audrey Hepburn and the House of Givenchy. When Hepburn was nominated for an Oscar for her role in Roman Holiday in 1953 she originally approached Cristobel Balenciaga to create a dress for her. With Hepburn being relatively unknown then, Balenciaga brushed her off to his former assistant, Hubert de Givenchy (sound familiar?). The dress Givenchy made for her was a white, floral etched, sleeveless gown, with a full skirt and a simple neckline. It was an instant fashion icon. Because of this dress, the onetime assistant of Balenciaga became the style maker for one of history’s

28

most fashionable actresses. At this year’s ceremony we can expect to see more of these designer/celebrity relationships, including Emma Watson, who is the face of Burberry, and Marion Cotillard, who models for Dior.

So what are the characteristics of a stunning Academy Awards dress?

Stylist George Blodwell, who has dressed Charlize Theron and Helen Mirren, says there is a formula for dressing for the Oscars: you can’t look too fashionable and you have to show shape. Yes, that’s right; being a trendsetter doesn’t work at the Oscars. A designer may have put out a stunning collection that is praised by critics around the world, but if it is too avant-garde it is most likely too risky for conservative Hollywood.

Wearing something that is too fashion forward or over the top can get the wearer panned by the tabloid media and they often end up on worst dressed lists. These daring dresses would be considered très chic in Europe, but they just do not fly at these awards. A-list stylist Anna Bingemann, who has styled red carpet events for Naomi Watts and Gwyneth Paltrow, has noticed most of her clients go for a very close silhouette that is more classic than controversial. However, often younger actresses opt for edgier designers, such as British big names Vivienne Westwood, Matthew Williamson and the late Alexander Mc Queen (RIP). The black, silk Lanvin gown Tilda Swinton draped over her body at the Academy Awards in 2008 was largely considered to be too avant garde for the ceremony and she made worst dressed lists worldwide. However, fashion designer Erdem believes when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, the most important factor is that the dress matches the wearer’s personality. Tilda Swinton, with her androgynous look, manages to pull off this dress – well, in my opinion anyway. Besides, the Academy Awards ceremony isn’t as entertaining without a few interesting-looking outfits (note: Björk and the swan).

Finally, on top of all these limitations, practicalities need to be observed. The dress – and the actress wearing it – needs to look good from every possible angle as it’s going to be photographed to death. No one wants a “Tara Reid” moment spoiling their big night, so they have to be sure the dress will keep everything that needs to be covered, well covered. There is also the consideration of how the dress will move when they are walking the red carpet. The actress needs to look graceful, not like she is about to face plant on stage because the dress is cutting off the circulation to her legs.

I was surprised at the amount of preparation that goes into what the celebrities are wearing at the awards. No wonder the fashion sometimes overshadow the ceremony itself! Fingers crossed for some more avant garde, dramatic fashion choices this year – I know I’ll be tuning in to watch.

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Reviews Up In The Air

Precious

Directed by Jason Reitman

Directed by Lee Daniels

Lisa Rapley, Film Review Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) lives out of his backpack. He spends exactly 48 days at home every year.

There is only one goal that he strives for – to become a member of the 1 million mile club. It is elite – there are only 6 members, and you get a super awesome black titanium card. Snazzy.

His job is tough: he fires people for a living and his business is booming with the economic downturn. He is also an occasional motivational speaker on how to lighten your life because “your relationships are the heaviest components in your life”. But then Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) comes along, proposing his business should change by firing people over the internet. His happy life of travel is put in jeopardy. So he proposes to show her the ropes and prove it will not work.

From the director of Thank You For Smoking and Juno, Jason Reitman, comes Up in the Air; the adaptation of the novel of the same name by Walter ” Kirn.

It shows the difficulties of relationships, why some people don’t want them, but also how to make them work. We have the young relationship that does not end well (dumped by text message, of all things), the newly married couple and then Ryan, who has cut himself off from most people in his life – following his own philosophies – but is ready to make that connection. Enter Alex (Vera Farmiga).

An interesting moment occurs when Ryan first meets Alex – they have a “mine is bigger than yours” competition with their travel loyalty cards. She is rather impressed when she finds he has an American Airlines concierge key – a card that grants you VIP access and immediate check-in. Where can one obtain said card?

The actors compliment each other, and you could not ask for a better cast to bring the screenplay to life. Anna Kendrick shows that she can act, proving that she is going to be around longer than K-Stew when her Twilight fame runs out. And of course, George Clooney is his usual svelte self and fits the role perfectly.

Up in the Air paints an attractive picture of having nothing in your life – very, very tempting. It deals with Ryan’s connections, both literally and symbolically.

Some he makes, others he fails to board on time. What do you do when something new fails? You return to the norm – in Ryan’s case, he returns to his travels.

It might not seem like a lucrative life for some, but what could be better than flying all around the US and staying in totally sweet hotels and getting paid for it? Did I mention, when you make 1 million miles, you get your name on the side of a plane? Now who wouldn’t want that? In the words of Ryan, moving is living, so how much does your life weigh?

“

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In the words of Ryan, moving is living, so how much does your life weigh?

Jess Cann, Film Review Claireece Precious Jones is a 16 year old high school student living in Harlem in the 1980s, who is pregnant with her second child to her father.

Living with her dysfunctional mother Mary, Precious is subjected to verbal and physical abuse from Mary on a daily basis, as well as being raped by her own father on a number of occasions.

Life for Precious is extremely difficult, especially since she faces being kicked out of high school because of her pregnancy and has no hope for a better future.

However, people who meet Precious along the way only want to help her, not hinder her, and so opportunities for a better life are presented to her. Once she escapes the monster that is her mother, she finds that she is able to achieve so much more, not only for herself but for her babies as well. She attends an alternative school; “a different way of doing things”, she is told, and finds that writing everyday helps her understand why life is the way it is.

I was really surprised and impressed by the way Lee Daniels, the director of Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire, put together a film that has so much emotion and responsibility to delicate subjects, and how he took great care with the story and the character of Precious.

During a scene where Precious is being abused, we are taken into Precious’ mind where she imagines she is a celebrity walking the red carpet with her “light-skinned boyfriend”. Lee Daniels shows how this girl, who is still a teenager, just wants to live in a brighter world, but is being forced to deal with a horrible living situation & faces growing up too quickly.

I had been told by friends of mine that had seen Precious that it was emotionally gruelling and really exhausting, because it takes you so low.

I’m not denying it does, but it has its moments and it is really worth it in the end.

There is a lot of Oscar-buzz around the filmPrecious, with Mo’Nique having already won a Golden Globe and a BAFTA for best supporting actress for playing Mary, Precious’ mother. Gabourey Sidibe, who plays Precious in the film, hadn’t acted before but has already b e e n nominated However, it’s a great story and film which you for the Golden Globe should see. Just remember the tissues.”

Best Actress category, having lost to Meryl Streep, and is also nominated for the Best Actress award at the Oscars. The film is full of big names, such as Mariah Carey and Lenny Kravitz, who do such a good job, with Kravitz being barely recognisable. Paula Patton also gives a memorable performance as Blu Rain, the teacher who does everything she can to help Precious succeed.

If you’re in the mood for a funny movie with a lot of cutesy moments, then Precious probably isn’t for you. However, it’s a great story and film which you should see. Just remember the tissues.

“

If you’re in the mood for a funny movie with a lot of cutesy moments, then Precious probably isn’t for you.

Get Splored!

by Sarah Bol

Visit http://www.splore.net/ for more info on this 3 day festival.

Left 4 Dead 2 (360)

Jared Van Huenen, Game Review Created by Valve Software I don’t think I’ve ever played a zombie/apocalypse game that didn’t take itself way too seriously. Games like S.T.A.L.K.E.R, Wolfenstein and all nine million Resident Evil titles are so full of people genuinely trying to save the world that eventually you just stop listening. Don’t get me wrong, Wolfenstein is a great game, but if I’m using a 12 gauge shotgun to put holes in about 20,000 undead, I want to be having a laugh at the same time. That’s why I’m thanking my lucky stars for the creation the Left 4 Dead series.

Left 4 Dead 1 was, for me, the first first person shooter to really feel like a film. The idea of a group of characters going about their destructive ways was something new and, to be honest, it was done bloody well.

That’s why I was so eager to get into the new one.

Left 4 Dead 2 begins and, interestingly, there’s no real campaign mode to set you off. You can select any part of the single player missions and skip to any checkpoint within these missions. Essentially, this means there is nothing to achieve or unlock. Initially I thought that was stupid but it’s important to understand that LFD2’s main claim to fame is its ownership of four player game play. Players can choose from one of four protagonists - three guys and a girl (though their gameplay differences are purely aesthetic). From here you can pretty much do what you like.

Straight off the bat, there are a shitload of zombies in this game.

From the first act in the first mission you’re literally swarmed with them and boy, do they love getting shot. There are “regular” zombies, who run around and occasionally sprint towards you (a great time to use the melee button and butt one in the head) and then “special” zombies, including 20 foot, ogre type fuckers who vomit zombie bile all over you.

I know what you’re thinking – “that sounds awesome”. Indeed it is.

There is your basic weaponry selection to do your dirty work – shotguns, rifles, assault rifles and pistols – as well a plethora of secondary melee weapons, including axes, frying pans and samurai swords. There’s also the usual exploding LPG tanks and Molotov’s. Generic but effective.

The game looks nice. It’s smooth and, while not amazingly immersive, manages to accommodate a lot of movement in small areas, as well as some in-depth maps that are truly impressive. To be honest, although I played for a while, I never really understood what the whole point of it was. But I didn’t care and that’s why it’s so good.

The plot is basically there to string you along between different masses of zombies but, as I was saying earlier, the game knows that. It doesn’t pretend to be the most revolutionary game ever, it just kicks ass. Isn’t that what you want from a game where you and three friends blow the crap out of 15 million undead people?

Splore! requires an exclamation mark by definition. A three day festival of music and culture set against Aotearoa’s finest natural scenery. Sounds like a chance for aged, pot-smoking hippies to sway to music with their children on their shoulders through the night and discuss sustainable living during the day. That it is, but it’s also so much more.

Splore was started in 1998 by, from what I gather, a group of awesome people who wanted a sweet NYE festival. The location has changed often, with this year’s festival nestled between cow pats and native bush at Tapapakanga Regional Park. At only an hour’s drive from Auckland, the Powhutakawa spotted bay was nothing less than idyllic. The main stage was expertly placed just metres from the water’s edge, meaning perfect days of melting in the sun, or even better floating in the water, while absorbing the sweet atmosphere and lax tunes.

Atmosphere is where Splore wins. Everyone from families with babies to groups of Kristov-drinking teens come together to have a great time. Instead of pushy posers in aviators and girls dressed in matching Supre fluro, Splorers donned harem pants and henna tattoos, hula hoop their days away and conduct morning Tai Chi and Yoga classes on the shoreline.

As for accommodation, tents spanned hectares. Neighbourly vibes that go amiss in Auckland streets dominated, making the guy-rope to guy-rope pitching not quite so bad. From the obligatory silver four-man dome and vintage canvas, to amazing bamboo constructed teepee’s , Splore’s tent city was a sight to see.

For the more discerning camper, there’s glam-ping; where your tent is primped and primed before you arrive, and serviced daily – a far cry from the jumbled, muddy, sticky hovel which our tent morphed into within hours of arrival.

I need to mention, we left our stuff on the beach for hours, and our tents zips open with not a single thing going amiss. Lucky or just goodSplore-vibes? I’ll go with the latter.

The line-up, whilst meagre in comparison to the previous summer festivals, was more than satisfactory. On the Friday night, Minuit lead singer Ruth Carr’s perked up the crowd with her down to earth chatting between her generous lungs, while their upbeat electro had the crowd jumping. Their classic, A Room Full of Cute, amped the crowd of feel-good wasters up for the night, screaming just how beautiful everyone else was.

Later, Basement Jaxx pushed the crowd through midnight with what seemed like a never ending set. They pumped out their catalogue of hits dispersed with covers of sing-a-long hits like Salt’n’Peppa’s Push It and the classic, Bohemian Rhapsody. It was hard to imagine just a few years ago the festival was on the brink of collapse. For jittery ravers whose jaws couldn’t quite sleep, the DJ tent, located further down the bay, played on and on and...on.

The Saturday night, I’d love to say Sola Rosa and Pitch Black were the highlights, but I didn’t quite get there. I was having too much fun enjoying the moonlit beach, the sculpture trail and a few contraband beverages.

In reference to its name, an arts festival, Splore let us make our own music. The sculpture trail’s highlight; an oversized wooden xylophone, children, parents and other buzzed Splorers sat cross-legged, beating off key notes out of time to create fairy dust tunes of the moment.

Since 2004, Splore has only happened every two years, meaning Splore virgins have time to perfect their fire poi techniques and work on their acrobatics. You may come home lethargic, bruised and physically dirty, but in spirit, you’ve just been Splored. And it feels so damn good.

Photo: Serena Stevenson issue 1 FEBruary 2010

www.ausm.org.nz

31

website of the week

The Sleep Talking Sensation

By Catherine Selfe “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” – Irish proverb.

For Southwest Londoner, Adam Lennard and his US born wife, Karen this proverb is administered in a daily dose.

For many, sleep can be plagued by a partner’s bad sleep habits: snoring, blanket stealing or space hogging, but for Karen Lennard it’s a nightly comedy show. Her husband, Adam, sleep talks and not in the incoherent mumblings that are quite common with parasomniacs but in surprising clarity. Not only this but his middle of the night ramblings, random and original, guarantee to humour. “Oh, the penguins deserve better. Spread the love…beaky twats,” and “My pony’s for sale. Yes it f***ing works! I wanna get a stripy zebra” are just two of the many equally amusing things that Adam treats Karen to with his sleep talking.

Karen wanting to share a laugh with others began writing down Adam’s night time mutterings to share with friends and family. She then progressed to putting the chatterings on a blog as a way to share them more easily with relatives. But what started as a medium for sharing Adams comedy act with a few close people has turned into an internet hit.

At the start of February 2010 the site was getting a maximum of 459 hits a day. On February 12 28,000 people had gone onto the site overnight and by the end of the day it had received almost 250,000 hits.

The site attracts readers from over 50 countries and its popularity has reached such a peak that an entrepreneurial element has been added to the mix: you are able to buy products labelled with Adam’s sleep talking sayings. There are even talks of a book in the making.

Despite all this, the Lennard’s say that’s not what it’s about. On the blog Karen’s opening statement is: “My mild mannered English husband Adam lives quite a colourful existence in his dreams. Having benefited from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings, I thought it only fair to share them with the world”.

A written record of these ‘musings’ as well as digital voice recordings can be found at http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/.

A selection of The Sleep Talking Man’s Mutterings: “I made this picture using pasta... F**k you, it IS artistic!”

“My ass and my personality are the same thing. Huge and in your face.”

“Bring it on, King Kong. I’ll kick your monkey ass right back to the jungle.”

“Imagine waking up next to you every day... One chunder-bucket moment after another.”

“Please bounce on my bed with me. Bounce with me. Because there’s nothing more romantic than bouncing..... Boing.”

“You’re right, elephants in thongs is not something you see every day. Enjoy it.”

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Correctly identify the FIVE differences in the pictures below then drop your entry into your nearest AuSM Office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12pm Thursday. What's up for grabs? A $10 voucher for The Counter cafe. Nom nom nom!

Name Phone Email Campus

www.ausm.org.nz

33

micro-celebs Manukau Campus

Hulita Tangitau Diploma in Pasifika

What do you like most about the new campus?

The trees. There’s lots of shade.

What was the last concert you went to?

None. I’m a student and I don’t have a job.

Are you going to hit up any of the Orientation events?

Of course. Manukau definitely and maybe the city.

Who would win in a fight: Pirates or Ninjas?

Ninjas.

Hannah Alderson Diploma in Pasifika

What do you like most about the new campus?

The pool.

What was the last concert you went to?

Chris Brown and Rihanna.

Are you going to hit up any of the Orientation events?

The ones at Manukau. This is our base now.

Who would win in a fight: Pirates or Ninjas?

Ninjas.

Jessica Johnston

Bachelor of Physiotherapy

What do you like most about the new campus?

It’s so not like a uni with all the trees. It’s so relaxed.

What was the last concert you went to?

Parachute.

Are you going to hit up any of the Orientation events?

Hopefully Fat Freddys Drop.

Who would win in a fight: Pirates or Ninjas?

Pirates – personal joke.

Liz Cooper Bachelor of Podiatry

This could be YOU!

Watch out for debate around campus – you could be the next microceleb!

34

What do you like most about the new campus?

Free food!

What was the last concert you went to?

Shapeshifter.

Are you going to hit up any of the Orientation events?

Yeah I’d say so.

Who would win in a fight: Pirates or Ninjas?

Pirates – they’ve got guns.

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