Book Talk

BE WELL

Professor McCormack’s Prescriptions for Well-Being and Effective Leadership

BY JENNIFER HOPGOOD

HOPGOOD: Professor Tracy W. McCormack, welcome. The Travis County Women Lawyers Association (TCWLA) started a book club last year, focusing on books and discussions centered on leadership. You graciously presented last year on one of our book picks, and at that meeting you mentioned your top book recommendation to lawyers has been Self-Compassion by UT Psychology professor Kristin Neff. You commented at the time that in order to be a good leader, a person must have a basis in general mental health and that self-compassion is an essential element of well-being. TCWLA is excited you will be discussing Self-Compassion at the last book club meeting of the 2020-21 year, on Wed. May 5, 2021. This book club will be open to Austin Bar members, in recognition of the Lawyer Well-Being Committee’s initiatives and efforts to increase wellness and well-being of the entire Austin Bar membership.

Generally, would you comment on how the relationship between being a good leader is tied or connected to being healthy; i.e., why must a good leader also focus on cultivating general mental health and well-being?

MCCORMACK: The old saying “actions speak louder than words” is true. As leaders we don’t just lead on the substance, we model the behaviors and culture we seek to instill in our group or organization. If I am sending and responding to emails at midnight and all weekend, then no matter what I may say about work-life balance I am not showing that I value it. I create the unspoken expectation that to excel in my group you should behave as I do. Compassion is no different. If I want my organization to be compassionate and show it to others, I have to model that behavior—even to myself.

HOPGOOD: Tell us why you love this book, Self-Compassion.

MCCORMACK: It’s not a message common to lawyers—especially “older” female lawyers. For me, I equated self-compassion with being too easy on myself, the antithesis of being a trial lawyer or Black female law professor. The book helps explain why we develop negative self-chatter and how harmful it is to real growth and development. It is counter-intuitive, but we need self-compassion to be able to grow and reach our full potential. I have developed the phrase, “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.” It helps me quiet the inner critic who only sees my failings and weaknesses and instead encourages me to do and be better. Self-compassion is critical to our personal ability to try, fail, and grow. It’s also critical to our society. As we struggle to value our cultural and social differences, to be genuinely inclusive, self-compassion sits at the center of those efforts.

HOPGOOD: Why is self-compassion important?

MCCORMACK: It is critical to our personal ability to try, fail, and grow. It’s also critical to our society. As we struggle to value our cultural and social differences, to be genuinely inclusive, self-compassion sits at the center of those efforts. Self-compassion is what allows us to see ourselves as we really are—flaws included— and still find space to forgive our failings and keep growing. Without the ability to see ourselves, we continue to use our internal and external coping mechanisms to prop up our egos because we can’t face the truth—we have to find someone to denigrate in order to make ourselves feel better. So imagine our society if I don’t have to be “better” than you, because that’s the only way to feel ok with myself. It’s so much easier to judge and “cancel” someone than to understand them, to be empathetic and compassionate towards them. If I can become more compassionate towards myself, I might be able to extend that same loving kindness to others.

HOPGOOD: How can lawyers incorporate the principles found in the book into their practice and interactions with clients, opposing counsel, and co-workers and colleagues? MCCORMACK: When we are unhappy with ourselves, we generate a lot of negative thought and energy that gets directed back at our staff, opposing counsel, clients, friends, partners, etc. We search to find ways to make ourselves feel better through our possessions and status. When we are content with ourselves, we are easier to be around! For me, it’s always easier to be compassionate with others first. It’s harder to look inward and ask why we are being so competitive or disagreeable with others—self-compassions allows us to do that. So if we really want to be successful in our practices and our lives, we need to develop self-compassion. Our work world is a small micro- cosm of our culture at large. We can begin by being empathetic—putting ourselves into the shoes of others, recognizing they just want to be valued, heard, respected, and appreciated just like we do. We can show compassion. We can recognize that they may be stressed, unhappy, frustrated, overly self-critical—and that they exhibit bad behavior the same way we do when we are in that position. Once we realize we all have the same basic needs, we are less opponents and more people trying to share a planet or solve a specific legal problem.

HOPGOOD: What other thoughts and tips would you like to share with Austin Bar members—specifically regarding the book and the concept of self-compassion, and more broadly about wellness and well-being generally?

MCCORMACK: Practicing law is hard and stressful. We tend to be competitive, perfectionist people. We have been trained in the law, we were not trained in wellness. Our time away from work has dwindled with the advent of technology that keeps us constantly connected. We have to work harder to create balance and maintain it. I’ll be the first to say that I am really bad at it. I find these books and resources because I need them! I want to provide students and lawyers with ways not just to cope but to thrive as lawyers. We are each responsible for justice, that takes an extraordinary amount of energy, focus, passion, and creativity. Wellness helps us harness that energy and focus and fuels our passion and creativity. It helps us recharge so that we can practice AUSTINLAWYER another day. AL AL

TCWLA Leadership Book Club

SELF-COMPASSION: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

BY KRISTIN NEFF, PH.D.

The Travis County Women Lawyers’ Association (TCWLA) Leadership Book Club’s discussion on Self-Compassion will be on Wed., May 5, 2021 at noon, in conjunction with the Austin Bar Lawyer Well-Being Committee. Alisa Holahan will moderate the discussion with Professor Tracy W. McCormack. The event will be free to TCWLA and Austin Bar and AYLA members. Please join us for this important discussion about wellness, well-being, and self-compassion! Register on the events calendar at tcwla.org.

Professor Tracy W. McCormack is a senior lecturer and Director of Advocacy at the UT School of Law.

Alisa Holahan is a law librarian and lecturer at the Tarlton Law Library at the UT Law School.

Jennifer Hopgood, assistant county attorney at the Travis County Attorney’s Office, started the TCWLA book club with her colleagues Sherine Thomas and Leslie Dippel.

ABOUT THE BOOK:

The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff, Ph.D.

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff, Ph.D., discusses the benefits of treating yourself with kindness and understanding during difficult times. Dr. Neff, an associate professor at The University of Texas at Austin and an expert on self-compassion, employs empirical research, personal anecdotes, and helpful exercises to explain what self-compassion is, its many benefits, and how we can use self-compassion to improve our quality of life and reach our full potential.

Self-compassion involves relating to our own suffering in a caring and supportive way. Dr. Neff describes self-compassion as treating yourself the way you would treat a good friend. She breaks down self-compassion into three core components: self-kindness, a recognition of our shared humanity, and mindfulness. Dr. Neff describes the many benefits of self-compassion, including emotional resilience, freedom from dependence on self-esteem, and greater motivation and personal growth. She also addresses the positive impact of self-compassion on the way we relate to others. Self-compassion, explains Dr. Neff, “provides an island of calm, a refuge from the stormy seas of endless positive and negative self-judgment, so that we can finally stop asking, ‘Am I as good as they are? Am I good enough?’”

Professor Tracy W. McCormack is a senior lecturer and Director of Advocacy at the UT School of Law.

Alisa Holahan is a law librarian and lecturer at the Tarlton Law Library at the UT Law School.

Jennifer Hopgood is an assistant county attorney at the Travis County Attorney’s Office. She is co-editor-in-chief of Austin Lawyer.