Australian Times newspaper: 14 August 2012 edition

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14 - 20 August 2012 – Issue: 425

GOT THE HUMP?

GREAT SCOTT!

Is Denise Australia’s funniest 50 year old?

TOP ME UP

Fighting camels and flu in Maroc

ENTERTAINMENT P7

On the port trail in Porto TRAVEL P9

VOICES P5

AUSSIES BOW OUT FROM LONDON 2012 n

Australian Olympic chef de mission Nick Green has defended our London 2012 Olympic performance and has denied suggestions a new culture is needed for Aussie sport. Australian Olympics Inc failed to meet the bottom line expected by stakeholders in London and will examine its business model to ensure there is no profit forecast downgrade at Rio in 2016. Having targeted a top five finish, Australia scraped into the top 10 with seven gold medals, being thrashed in the “Ashes” by third-placed Britain and falling behind other European nations Germany, France, Italy and Hungary, with Japan, Holland and Kazakhstan breathing down its neck and trans-Tasman neighbours New Zealand just two gold medals behind. The seven gold - three to the sailors was a dramatic halving of the 14 won in Beijing four years ago. In order to achieve fifth place, Australia would have needed to almost double its gold medal count to 13 to overhaul South Korea. In terms of overall medals, Australia finished seventh with 35 - seven gold, 16 silver and 12 bronze. The result was the fewest golds for the nation since the 1992 Barcelona Games, where it also won seven. Australia found it difficult to convert minor medals into major ones, despite the euphoria of victories to stars like hurdler Sally Pearson and cyclist Anna Meares. Despite calls for more money by individual sports leaders such as hockey’s Ric Charlesworth, Australian officials stressed they were happy with current funding, which has delivered record amounts to high

TES O T

The Bondi Hipsters get grilled on London, life and love | P8 performance sport in the past four years. Team boss Nick Green declared the team had performed “exceptionally well” and denied suggestions a new culture was needed in Australian sport. He drew the analogy with the dog-

eat-dog world of commerce when he said: “In any evolving industry which is globally competitive you need to continue to re-evaluate where you stand. “The money that we’ve got - how do we continue to invest that wisely to get the best outcomes?

“It’s no different to an evolving business with significant international interests. In the world of sport there’s no bigger global stage (than the Olympics). “We as a team have been prepared to ...continued on p3

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Govt hopeful asylum seeker bill will pass Workplace Relations Minister and former immigration minister Chris Evans says it’s too early to be optimistic that the federal parliament will pass an amended asylum seeker bill. The federal government has backed an expert panel’s plan to break the asylum seeker policy deadlock on boat arrivals. Following the release of the plan on Monday, Prime Minister Julia Gillard said the Labor caucus had agreed to endorse in principle all 22 of the panel’s recommendations. “Hopefully this week we will get this legislation and a proper response to some of the challenges we’re confronting,” Senator Evans told AAP. “It’s too early to be optimistic. “I haven’t seen the opposition’s response or that of the Greens but I think we’ve now got a worthwhile set of recommendations.” The government has also endorsed in principle the recommendation to boost Australia’s annual humanitarian intake to 20,000 from just over 13,000. Senator Evans, who was immigration minister in the Rudd government, said the government ...continued on p3


2 | News

14 - 20 August 2012

Despite it all, Australia stands tall

n What have the performances, the reaction and the euphoria revealed about our fiercest rivals, and what has Australia’s stinging response to our campaign shown about these two great nations? Plenty. the hard word > NATHAN MOTTON

Publisher: Bryce Lowry Editor: Tim Martin Production/Design: Jackie Lampard Australia Editor: Ashlea Maher Contributors: Bianca Soldani, Shannon Crane, Kate Ausburn, Sara Newman, Phill Browne, Paul Judge, Sandra Tahmasby, Amy Fallon, Rose Callaghan, Lesley Slade, Simon Kleinig, Kris Griffiths, Chris Ark, Nathan Motton, Cameron Jenkins,

Will Denton, Lee Crossley, Shane Jones, Liam Flanagan, Mel Edwards, Will Fitzgibbon, Phoebe Lee, Bronwyn Spencer, Rebekka Hodges, Alex Ivett, Emily Banyard, Justin Ng, Sam Tilburn Advertising Manager: Dominic Young Directors: P Atherton, J Durrant N Durrant, R Phillips and A Laird Additional content:

Who are we? Australian Times is written and compiled by young Australian journalists living in the UK. Contributing on a volunteer basis, they are uniquely placed to reflect the interests, opinions and attitudes of our community. If you would like to join us, contact info@australiantimes.co.uk Address: Unit 7C, Commodore House Battersea Reach, London SW18 1TW Tel: 0845 456 4910 Email: info@australiantimes.co.uk

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My colleagues will take great pride in the fact that this rubbish is being repeated, let alone printed in the UK’s pre-eminent newspaper for Australians living abroad, but these are just some of the barbs I’ve suffered over the past fortnight. One chirped: “Kazakhstan, Cuba, Italy, Hungary, North Korea. Just some of the 18 countries performing better than Lostralia!” Another decried: “Spoke to Cash4Gold, they said they don’t buy in such small quantities, sorry mate.” Another chimed in with: “He’s struggling with ‘Olympic finger’, caused by repeated scrolling down to see Aussie’s medal tally.” As an Australian working in London over the past two weeks, the insults have flown thick and fast since day one. It’s been as relentless and unforgiving as Great Britain’s rapid climb up the medal tally. As it stands - a public investment (excluding private donations) of £312m by UK Sport returned 65 medals in total for Great Britain, a staggering 29 of them gold. A remarkable achievement, third only to the global heavyweights USA and China. But there is real concern much of this purse won’t be returned over the next Olympic fouryear cycle ahead of Rio in 2016. That

Your Say

On: Tim Tams vs Penguins – is there even a contest?

Um.. You make it sound like the Tim Tam came first. But the Tim Tam was in fact a documented copy of the Penguin. Better or not it’s just a copy like Vegimite was of Marmite. Vegimite by the way an American owned company. And can they get much more air in a packet of Tim Tams? I swear they get less in the packet each time I buy them :( DeenO

On: London’s missed Olympic moments

Unfair advantage lad – Tetley’s Bitter. Should be a banned substance. Andy

On: Australia’s Kate Lundy to row Eton Olympic course after GB goldrush

Bit of a laugh, good to see the Aussies not welshing on a bet…I’m sure you’ll turn the tables, just not too soon eh? Dave Somerset

On: Time for Australia’s green and gold to shine

“Team GB has set its sights on beating us in the overall

? What’s your view

appears almost a foregone conclusion, as has occurred in Australia since we also hosted the Games in Sydney 2000. But what have the performances, the reaction and the euphoria revealed about our fiercest rivals, and what has Australia’s stinging response to our campaign shown about these two great nations? Plenty. There was a couple of days wait before Great Britain claimed their first gold, after a number of gold medal prospects - namely Mark Cavendish in the men’s individual time trial failed to deliver. But they haven’t looked back since. The Brits are a cynical bunch, not so much negative, but rather entirely comfortable with their traditional struggles in the name of world sport. They’re used to losing, and frankly they’re used to losing to those bloody Aussies. But not anymore. They sense a giant, overblown, washed up carcass on the shores of Weymouth and they’re at it like a flock of scavengers. First dominating the cricket, and far and away smashing us into the next stratosphere at the London Games, what was first complete shock and surprise is now a daily occurrence. They’re loving every single bloody second of this, and so they should. It’s hard to see Britain ever coming down from this, after such an incredible display of human strength, ability and above all determination.

No longer the (self imposed) whipping boys of sport of any discipline, the Brits have found their ticker, their grunt that’s been hidden for so long. And what of the Aussies? The vitriol that has spewed from the shores of the land Down Under, from our press but just as vehemently from the mouths of Aussies worldwide, has been unforgiving. 46 medals in Beijing, 14 of them gold, and 58 medals in Sydney in 2000, 16 of them gold has been followed up by startling mediocrity. Only seven gold in London, with fears it may take eight years for us to return to winning ways. Shock and surprise on our part originally, for entirely different reasons to the Brits, has been replaced by scorn. How dare our athletes, particularly our swimmers, perform so poorly. Other nations have written about Australia’s motto that second is the first loser, that silver and bronze don’t count, that anything less than gold is ‘soft’ in our eyes. Indeed it is. We’re a proud nation, and while the cheap jokes at the expense of the Brits may have hit a nerve, it’s nothing in comparison to the self imposed criticism our athletes will no doubt have already heaped upon themselves. Aussie pride may have taken a hit here, but we’ll be back with a vengeance. You can be guaranteed of that.

medal chase. For them, nothing else matters.” Not true, GB did that easily 4 years ago and have left Australia behind now. Will

There are thousads of Brits in Perth. After 10yrs they can go on an Aussie Pension. Most of the Brits love Australia for the great weather and job opportunities. The Brits also tell me that bringing in people from the EU and putting them on benefits has made the U.K broke. Don”t take bad government policies out on Australians! Shan

On: Aussie Olympians urged to stick it to the Poms

The rivalry seems to be mostly from the Aussies and from here in GB seems a bit childish. Just enjoy the fact that, usually, you punch above your weight! Bob

On: Australians could be told to earn £31K or leave the UK

Our wages are alot better here in Australia if you can get into the mines and drive a truck you can earn $100.000 a yr. We welcome the Brits into our country and many gain citizenship and are greatful for the work opportunities. Australia will welcome anyone that wants to work hard here this country has one of the best economies in the world. Shannon “Don”t take bad government policies out on Australians!” The British Goverment are not picking on the Australians, It is a cross the board. Bobhc

AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices

On: London’s missed Olympic moments

Just as a heads up – Yorkshire has five gold medals at the moment – which puts it ahead of Australia on the table. Alan Ball

On: Why are the Poms so unhappy?

I don’t mind it over here in Pomgolia. Sure the food is ordinary…the weather is bad… the people are miserable. But if you use it as a base to explore Europe and spend your time here associating with all the other Aussies/Kiwis/Saffas that are over its not so bad really. Davo

Share your comments on these and more stories online: AustralianTimes.co.uk


News | 3

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Aussies fall short of Olympic top five

Continued from p1... put ourselves on the line,” Green said. “We have set very high expectations and very high benchmarks. As a high aspirational team we want to be top five in the world.” Green said every sport would return from London to evaluate its performance. “Some will say we didn’t get the medals we predicted, some will say we got more medals than we thought we would,” he said. “There’s both sides to it. The end position is I think our team has performed exceptionally well. “Personally I am proud of the way our athletes have conducted themselves. They were humble in defeat and gracious in victory. We

have a very strong culture which is embedded and passed on.” “The athletes are happy to leave themselves open to criticism because they want to be the best in the world.” Green said his personal highlights included back-to-back gold medals for sailor Malcolm Page, who he selected to carry the Australian flag in Sunday’s closing ceremony, and the gold medals won by Pearson and Meares within an hour of each other in the middle of the Games. One exciting pointer to the future, he said, lay in the fact that more than half of Australia’s 410 Olympians competing in London were debutants - AAP How did you think Australia performed at London 2012? Tell us now at

AustralianTimes.co.uk/London-Olympics

Aussie Olympians cheering on the Australian Business set in London Australian Business members and guests were treated to a very special function in London last week, as Olympic fever reached a crescendo. In the specially designed Qantas ‘Business Lounge’, housed in the salubrious St James’ Sofitel Hotel, over 100 Aussie Business attendees got up close and personal with a couple of Australian Olympians. Australian triathlete Courtney Atkinson and Australian gymnast Lauren Mitchell took time out of their busy Olympic schedules to regale the guests with some stories from the London Games. Courtney, who placed 18th in the

London 2012 triathlon, spoke of how his performance in London was one of the most pleasing of his career. He also gave a few insights into what really goes on in the Athlete’s Village, which drew a fair amount of laughter and maybe one or two raised eyebrows. Lauren, who is only 21 and hoping to follow up her London experience with a trip to Rio in 2016, was overwhelmed by the Aussie support for the athletes at these Games and by the whole Olympic process in general. AustralianTimes.co.uk/news

Breaking the deadlock on asylum seeker policy Continued from p1...

had always intended to increase the intake. “We’ve always had the aspiration of lifting Australia’s intake (which) already takes more than most other resettlement countries,” he said. “But we’re a country with a lot of opportunities and need for more workers and people, and I think we can do more.” Ms Gillard has indicated the government will on Tuesday introduce amendments to its offshore processing bill to enable offshore processing of asylum seekers in Nauru and Papua New Guinea, as recommended in the report. “It’s not where you process people it’s how you process them, how to

treat them,” Senator Evans said. “At the moment there’s an incentive to get on a boat. “This report is about how we break that incentive, treat people fairly but ensure that there’s not an advantage or too large an incentive to take a dangerous journey by boat.” - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/news

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4 | Voices

14 - 20 August 2012

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs

n

Our main man in the kitchen of London’s fine dining Claridge’s Restaurant is on a foodie mission with a difference. He’s getting messy, and giving you the tips, to enjoy some of the tastier foods around.

chris’s

kitchen > CHRIS ARK

It is official! I am on a quest to find the tastiest ‘southern cuisine’. And thanks to this rigorous endeavour to find the best taste from America’s deep south - last Sunday saw me arms deep in a large plate of sticky BBQ ribs and fiery chicken wings. Would any of us consider turning up to the butchers and asking for a handful of baby back ribs? Probably not. But when I show you how easy they are to cook and how tasty they are to eat, you will be racing to your local butcher faster than a hungry Sally Pearson. BBQ food has always been the holy grail of backyard cuisine here, and in many parts of the world. Every

culture has its own unique techniques, sauces, spices and versions of the BBQ. Us Aussies have learnt a thing or two about BBQ’s with all the travelling we have done - bringing back techniques and flavours to the homeland. We have even moved on from our traditional flat BBQ plate and now use the grill - slow cooking with skill and confidence to produce tasty dishes from the cheaper cuts of meat and fish. BBQ ribs are both tender and succulent when prepared correctly. Today’s recipe uses pork baby back ribs - bite size ribs that mean we don’t have to wrestle large chunkier versions - which inevitably makes this fantastic dish more appealing. If pork is not your favourite choice of meat, ask the butcher for alternatives. Beef short ribs are always available and can be cooked and marinated in the same way.

Our musically talented London adventurer indulges in London’s annual cultural festival – The Proms at Royal Albert Hall – and ticks #30 off her Top 100 list.

bron in

the don BRONWYN SPENCER

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I decide to tick #30 off the London Top 100 list. While I had been in the wind ensemble at school (yes cue band camp jokes) I hadn’t ever really been to a classical music concert but I was looking forward to checking out The Proms at Royal Albert Hall. The Proms run every year from July to September in the iconic venue. A project of Prince Albert, the ‘Hall’ was built in South Kensington amongst a hub of museums to encourage promotion of the Arts and Sciences and has been used for a wide variety of concerts. It’s not just classical music though, with many musicians from The Beatles to The Killers playing in the gorgeous building. For the Proms however the main focus is on classical music with a few different acts thrown in. Last year Tim Minchin even made an appearance! You can buy tickets for varying prices and dates (you can even got a whole season pass) and there is a wide variety of composers, orchestras, solo artists and featured shows to choose from. Since I wasn’t an expert and just going to explore I decided to ‘Prom on the Day’. We all know how the English love a good queuing system and

What you need:

• 2kg of baby back ribs • 2 cups sliced onions • 2 cups ketchup • 2 cups water • 2 pinches of dried chili • 1 squeezed lemon • 4 teaspoons salt • 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce • 1/2 cup white vinegar • 1/2 cup dark brown sugar • 4 teaspoons dry mustard • Preheat oven to 220 degrees. • In a large bowl, combine onions, ketchup, water, salt, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar and mustard. Split the ribs down the center between the bones. • Heat a large lightly oiled skillet over medium-high heat. Add ribs

n

Marinating your ribs overnight will add plenty of flavour and a spicy kick to your dish. Once you get them home, take a bowl or tray big enough to hold your ribs and smother them in your favourite marinade. Creating your own signature marinade is both rewarding and gives you boasting rights if you pull it off. Don’t be afraid to try the smokey, peppery African spices or Indian masarla rubs instead of our homegrown Asian flavors. Your options are endless and the more you experiment the better you will become at blending flavours. One good tip is to ask around at work, or mates from different cultures and backgrounds, for some ideas or advice. You will be surprised at what you can learn for free. Or for a pint of their favourite bevy. So let’s get cracking on this week’s recipe of marinated BBQ baby back ribs. Happy cooking and enjoy!

BBQ pork baby back ribs

What to do:

Taking in the Proms at the Royal Albert Hall

and sear until browned. This may have to be done in several batches. • Place ribs in a single layer in two baking pans or casserole dishes. Pour half of the sauce over the ribs, reserving the remainder. • Bake ribs in preheated oven for 3 hours. Turn and baste meat every

twenty minutes with remaining sauce, using all sauce by two hours. Continue turning and basting ribs using sauce in the pan during the last hour of baking. AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices

this is just another great one to add to the list. After about an hours queuing, quite pleasantly next to Hyde Park in the sunshine, we got our tickets to the gallery. For £5-7 you can nab one of 1400 tickets for each concert and find a spot to view the show. There are several options for Prom tickets from standing in front of the stage with the chairs behind you, to walking up the tiers to view over the balcony. We decided to head up to the gallery, which is the highest floor of the circular building but also provides a great view of the whole hall. Up in the Gallery you don’t have to stand for hours and squish between the crowd as it was much more relaxed. People bring in food and cushions and make an inside picnic while others lay on the cool ground and listen to the music. We stood at the balcony for a little while watching the symphony play before settling into a spot on the floor. It was so relaxing just laying down and closing your eyes and listening to the music! If sitting in a hall listening to music isn’t your thing - never fear the final show of the season is always held across the road in Hyde Park. ‘Proms in the Park’ is the grand finale of a whole season of great music. Tickets for this event are £35 and this year our very own Kylie Minogue has a spot on a long lineup of musical talent. The Proms is definitely one of the Top 100 that I have enjoyed the most and I will make the effort to repeat again. Hopefully I get to see a different kind of musical talent and will be able to compare the relaxing music in the gallery to a seating ticket for a more up tempo gig. Either way I highly recommend a visit to the Royal Albert Hall. AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices


Voices | 5

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Become an egg donor and give hope to others...

Contagion. Meet Camel lost in london > lexxy luther

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It’s a Tube warp tube talk > Sandra Tahmasby

Lately I’ve been paying extra attention to my fellow commuters and have come to the conclusion that the Tube has a special affect on people. It’s almost like a trance. The Tube ride is where grown adult men turn into children! Yes, just like 10 year old kids they are glued to their Apple device playing the latest super hero game. Some are so into the special effects on their screen that they forget other people are around and start talking out loud – either with a cheer, impressed at their triumph or a few swear words when their character falls off a cliff or gets swooped by the animated over sized bird. It’s actually quite funny to watch. Another thing I’ve noticed is when there are a group of people having a chat they always seem to pick the noisiest time to do so... For example: Tube is going at top speed and you can hear the chug chug and the wind whistling through the window (the one and only window that you could open up before you melted!!) Conversation is buzzing! Tube arrives at the platform where it is reasonably quieter and conversation stops. Tube continues on its journey and conversation continues. You will notice this more now. People do make me laugh. Obviously you enter a Tube station

with the intention of getting on the Tube. The amount of people who head down to the gates and wait till the very last minute to pull out their oyster card amazes me. ANTICIPATE PEOPLE! ANTICIPATE! Clearly you didn’t come down here to join some Underground rave or to do the grocery shopping did you? The Tube air immediately hits them and they’re dazed! I’m convinced that the people who do this are the same people or are related to the people who will leave it to the last second to grab their five bags that occupy the vacant seat next to them, a seat which is meant for real human beings - human beings that have paid for their ticket and therefore should get the seat. As you all know I am a Tube lover and not a Tube hater, but as I stand here on the Tube typing away on my very own Apple device, I am finding it hard to hold on to the hand rail, observe those around me and keep small laughs to myself and my own facial expressions from conversations in my head to a minimal. Is the air really that different down in the Underground? Have you noticed what weird and funny things it makes you do? Personally I think my shuffling down the platform and dub stepping onto the Tube has nothing to do with the Tube trance. No this is not a Tube warp! AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices

“Salty nuts … who wants a big bag of my salty nuts?” Oh get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about almonds. And cashews. And macadamias. And fresh figs, dates and dried apricots. All amazingly fresh, of superb quality and cheaper than a Tesco’s special (unless you accidently end up with 6 kilos worth because you don’t know Moroccan for ‘just a small handful’ - it’s ‫ – ةريغص ةنفح درجم‬I babel fish translated it). That’s right – I was in Morocco bitches! And it was amazing, interesting, culturally diverse etc. It was also bloody hot, testing, loud and sometimes offensive. In between buying purple paper ‘shoes’ (oh you and your wily selling ways Mr Marketplace Man), I also spent an inordinate amount of time in an un-airconditioned minibus traversing the country and fighting with my travel companion about whether I did or did not give her my cold by not covering my mouth when I coughed. I deny everything (“I did not transfer viral particles to that woman!!”) Two things I have therefore learnt about Morocco: Never travel to the desert for a camel ride when in the throes of what I now call camel flu. I am worth two camels on the local bride market. My friend is worth one hundred. I won’t quit my day job (which is, at this stage, still…this). So our ‘Moroccan odyssey’ starts

with one of those drives up a very windy one lane highway in a country where road rules are slightly more…. relaxed. Where all you can do is look down the sheer drop edge and imagine your own impending death, caused by the minibus you are in overtaking yet another oil tanker at 90km/h around a sharp bend, colliding with a goat herder, careering through the flimsy barrier and tumbling you and 16 other backpackers down a mountain, the oil tanker following you down and turning the minibus wreckage into a fireball of twisted, tangled metal and cooked goat, from which you’ll only be able to be identified by the trail of phlegm you left on the way down. Yes, these are the things I think about on long bus rides. We’re indulged a brief stop at the 16th century town where they filmed Babel and Prince of Persia (yes, Morocco does look like it is in the movies), and after some sort of gorge (don’t ask me anymore – a gorge is a gorge) we arrive at the desert. At this stage, its three days since first contact, and the cold has mutated inside me like a human petri dish into a virulent virus form of the Antichrist. I am a coughing, sneezing, snotty, sweaty version of someone who used to be a functioning member of society. And I am about to get on a camel. To ride through the desert. In the sun. For two hours. On a camel. We start riding to the camp and I quickly realise what spending the night in the desert means. It means you were meant to bring supplies for the night with you. I have one tissue and one half full bottle of water. The dunes are stunningly beautiful, and

of course I get the obligatory photo of the shadows of our camel convoy against the rich yellow sand, but I am slightly more distracted from the fact my tissue has quickly taken on the consistency of a masticated spitball chewed by a fifth grader. And I am sweating from my eyeballs, from my ankles, between my toes and from inside my ears. And I am on a camel. An animal that is essentially a malfunctioning horse. And 20 minutes in I am already out of water. I spend the next 12 hours making that dry mouth noise where you sound like you’re chewing on an old thong, because turns out, there is no water in the desert. And my travel friend needed her water to wash her feet. Yes, yes, it was still awesome. We got to camp, and the sun set over the dunes that reached up like mountain peaks above the tents. The stars were amazing, and our guides cooked us chicken tagine we ate from collective earthware pots, and serenaded us with some classic Berber oldies on their goat skin drums. But the point is: Camel + Manflu’s more virulent female equivalent + Desert…It just doesn’t work. AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices

A day in the life of a London 2012 volunteer

n

Empty your pockets and get ready to swim, cycle, run – it’s time for SEPI ROSHAN to take you through her amazing experience of being a London 2012 Olympic Games Maker. By Sepi Roshan “Please empty your pockets. Coins, watches, belts and liquids. Takes your hats and jackets off. Skull your drinks!” This was my Olympics security catch cry on Super Saturday at Hyde Park, the home of the women’s triathlon. But before I can perfect my catch cry, I have to execute my own Olympic journey: ready at 5.30am; role call at 6.30am, spectator entry at 7.30am. I am on my way to my first volunteer gig as the city of London lies asleep, waiting for the huge Olympic Super Saturday to take hold. I love London in the morning. I love the serenity. London, after a beautiful new dawn, provides the greatest opportunity to walk around the streets, at my own leisure. I can enjoy looking at the beautiful buildings and watch the shopkeepers scurrying around, getting ready for another day’s trading. No sirens, no douf-douf music pouring out of smart cars and no school groups blocking the footpath or Tube entrances.

Walking up Queensway towards Kensington Gardens, there is the slightest hint of sun breaking through the rain clouds. Having heard the rain tapping on the window before the alarm went off at 5am, like most Londoners, I was concerned. Will London’s weather behave today? I reach the entrance, get scanned in and go through security. There are so many MOD (Ministry of Defence) guys and gals, giving up their time to support the volunteers and make London 2012 a great success. I don’t think I will ever get used to being called “Ma’am” by someone in uniform, but the British love their traditions, so I go with it. Many of the soldiers are young and have just returned from Afghanistan. I hope they enjoy the day as much as I hope I will. Suddenly it’s 7.30am and the gates finally open. Rows of expectant spectators are patiently standing in line. It’s now only the barriers and security checks keeping them from Olympic glory. Mums, dads, brothers, sisters and better halves. Aunties and nieces. Supporters, clutching their tickets; all eager to get in and watch their personal champions win gold. As I help the first spectator through security screening, I feel proud to be Australian – and proud to be a Londoner. I enjoy welcoming people from all over the world into my local park. I meet proud Britons and visitors from Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Japan and Switzerland, to name just a few. Finally, its 9.30am and sunny. Good old, London. Coming through again, at

the last minute. All the spectators are in, milling around the barriers. The triathlon begins. Many nations, side by side, watching their favourite triathlete and paying homage to the endurance and tenacity of all the competitors. No fighting, no disrespecting, no ill will – just a sense of solidarity with the athletes and each other. We want success for everyone. We are - for a moment - citizens of the world. The triathlon provided thrills and spills, galore. An unfortunate crash ended the dream of gold for Australia’s Emma Moffat. I had screened through her supporters, so felt an extra tinge of personal sadness. Each time the triathletes passed, the crowd would cheer. And the crowds continued to cheer until the last triathlete crossed the finish line. It was clear, that everyone was a winner: the athletes, the crowds and the volunteers. And most of all, London 2012. I leave the day smiling, and terribly excited about my next shift. AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices



Entertainment | 7

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Great Scott – Denise is telling all

By Gareth Mohen

Australian comic Denise Scott is currently one very busy lady. Right now she’s at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with her stand-up show Regrets. She’s also possibly using her stilt-wearing partner John as an attraction for the kids and she is very probably being mistaken for Angela Merkel. It’s a tough life for one of Australia’s funniest comedians. “If I was doing a kids show it would be sold out,” she says of her Fringe performances, laughing with her trademark chuckle. “It’s bizarre. Every parent wants their child to have their photo taken with John.” Scott is talking about her partner - of 31 years - John, who she has dressed up in a suit printed with the design of her Fringe show leaflet, and extendable trouser legs so he can wear stilts, while playing his ukulele. Scott wears an apron with the same print. “I’ve never thought in visual terms before. The suit and apron are my first design. I’ve been with John for 31 years and I thought ‘if he’s going to flier for me I’ll put him in a suit covered in my face’. “He’s been amazing. He’s been on stilts since we got here, well... not since … (she pauses and corrects herself)

obviously he has rests. I was doing the Assembly Gala the other night, and sure it’s only five minutes, but I was nervous. But no (I couldn’t rest and get my head right), I had to run around and shop and stuff because John had to have a bath to recover. And he had to get a taxi to the venue. I walked.” The show Regrets, which won Scott the 2011 Helpmann Award for comedy, follows the story of a stand-up comedy tour through Northern Queensland. It includes the usual honesty, selfdeprecation and affection audiences have come to expect. “The show really is about a most humiliating experience - like vomiting on all fours,” she explains. “I’m on all fours by a roadside vomiting because I’ve drunk too much. That’s an unpleasant thing. I was 54 then, and 57 now, and all these young boy comics are in the van, watching me. It’s unusual I suppose for a comedian to tell a story of a woman in her fifties. It’s not very common.” It may not be common but is obviously successful! And while the Australian locations will require Scott to do some explaining for the international audience, the Scottish have already explained a few things about their own culture. “I didn’t realise for a start there was any rivalry between Edinburgh and Glasgow,” Scott says. “In my show I sing ‘I belong to Glasgow’, because it’s a story that comes from the dementia unit where my mum lived. So that’s the song I’m featuring in the Edinburgh show. Great! Good on me...” At 57, it is also Scott’s first time performing in the Edinburgh Fringe and from her voice, she sounds both elated and fearful of the outcome. “When I was 23 I swung by. I didn’t even know there was an Edinburgh festival. That’s how worldly I was. I

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just happened to arrive in the middle of it. It was amazing. “Then when I was 34 I was with the group the Natural Normans, and they came to Edinburgh. I had to leave the group, because John and I had absolutely no money and I couldn’t leave my kids. They were little and so I gave up on the whole notion. It was just too hard. So the Natural Normans came and I stayed behind...” But she’s here now, and as if performing in a full run of shows in Edinburgh isn’t enough to keep Scott busy, she’s been appearing in Australia’s television documentary Agony Aunts, and Britain’s show Winners and Losers (screened on ITV). She’s also written a new book. In regards to Scott’s international recognition she has been offensively mistaken for Angela Merkel. “I think she’s quite a plain woman. I only get, ‘You look like someone from...’ - and I’m hoping it’s Winners and Losers but it’s – ‘...Chancellor of Germany’.” So there you have it ladies and gents. ‘Angela Merkel - Chancellor of Germany’ is appearing at Fringe this year! Make sure you don’t miss her (oh, and Denise Scott too!). Denise Scott is performing Regrets at Assembly Hall during the Edinburgh Fringe until 26 August.

AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

Dans le noir? A blind date with a difference n

When TIM MARTIN was invited to try one of London’s most conceptually unique restaurants – Dans le Noir? - he closed his eyes for a few moments to consider the invitation. Little did he know he was recreating a restaurant experience that has to be ‘seen’ to be believed. For one of the most brilliant and unique dining experiences I have ever had – it all started in a rather odd and unassuming reception area. I was here, at Dans le Noir? in London’s Clerkenwell, for a New Zealand themed food night ‘unlike anything before’. For those not in the know (as I was) Dans le Noir? is a restaurant with a difference. To sum it up briefly, it is dining in the dark. By dark – I mean complete and utter pitch blackness. An absence of light so thick that you can almost touch it! So, with a slighty achluophobic (scared of the dark) girlfriend squeezing the life out of one hand, and the other hand gesticulating wildly as I put on my best Kiwi accent, I met my waiter who would be taking care of us for the evening. His name was Trevor. And he was blind. ‘A blind waiter?’ I hear you ask with confusion. Indeed! Part of the charm with Dans le Noir? is that all the waiting staff are blind - for two very good reasons. Firstly –you don’t need to be able to see in a pitch black restaurant (in fact you CAN’T see) and secondly, it provides a wonderful employment opportunity for the visually impaired. And so it was - with one hand on Trevor’s shoulder so that he could guide us to our table – we went through the thick, black curtains and found ourselves in another world. A world

of noise and confusion (and amazing smells coming from the kitchen) but totally without the ability to see. Arriving at our table, we had to sit down and explore our surroundings completely by feel – which makes for quite an unnerving experience. But you soon get the hang of it and before long you’re conversing and laughing as if you’re in a normal restaurant. Another novel concept Dans le Noir? shocks you with, is that as well as not being able to see – you don’t know what food is going to arrive as their menus are a ‘surprise’. So when our entrees arrived, I tucked in with gusto (missing my mouth with my fork on several occasions), and tried to determine exactly what I was eating. Lime infused flavours rushed around my tongue – and I could taste a very yummy scallop-py meat. Scallops in sugared lime rinds? Delicious! And it was the most amazing start to a culinary experience I had ever encountered! Pouring yourself a glass of wine is a bit of fun too – because to make sure you don’t spill it all over those around you – one must employ the ‘finger in the glass’ method to determine when the glass is full. The main course was just as delicious as the starter and I could immediately

Catch all the BIG GAMES:

identify the succulent New Zealand lamb on my plate (once I found the darn plate again) but couldn’t pick the other meat, which was rich and creamy and ever so good. I would later learn that it was a delicious Kiwi duck, grilled and sautéed to perfection. With banter flowing between diners that have never seen each other – the atmosphere is intimate and special. At one point, trying to work out how far away the couple sitting next me were, I ended up unintentionally groping my fellow diner! Rushed apologies and a few laughs later and the moment was forgotten. But that was the only thing forgotten about my Dans le Noir? experience. With food to die for, exquisite wine, the most friendly and capable waiters, and a decor to ... well, I have no idea about the decor because we couldn’t actually see it, Dans le Noir? exceeded all of my expectations and more. It was, quite frankly, amazing. William Shakespeare once said that “there is no darkness but ignorance”. He must have known about this trendy little restaurant because once you get over your fear of the dark and leaving the secure dining norms behind, you get to experience one of the most unique and incredible meals of your life. Enjoy!

AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

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8 | Entertainment

What we’re following #GoAussies

@DBreban I’m proud of Australia. I don’t care what anyone says. We compete against the world and we finished top 10. #goaussies @ecambage As one door closes, another opens, and now it is time for the @AUSParalympics team to take the stage!!!!! #Goaussies @bthomas_11 Why is John Coates talking our chances down at Rio already? Lots can happen in 4 years #GoAussies @AthsAust Well that’s it for another 4 yrs. Well done to all and thanks to everyone for showing their support to them on twitter! #goaussies @JennyMikakos Congratulations to Sally Pearson & @AnnaMeares. When you want something done you leave it to the women! #Olympics #goaussies

14 - 20 August 2012

Bondi Hipsters do London, brah n

What do you get when you take a hobo, add some emo, a touch of metro? PAUL JUDGE talks to Australia’s newest ‘underground’ celebrities – the Bondi Hipsters – about a life organic, Australia at the Olympics and why picking up in London is way easier than back home in Oz.

How do you write an article when certain questions are met with a wall of silence because the subjects don’t want their products to become well known to the wider public? Luckily Dom and Adrian - aka the Bondi Hipsters - are more than happy to give their opinions on many of life’s important issues like the Olympics and avoiding the dreaded Heathrow injection. Just don’t ask them about their new fashion line... First up, who are these guys? Well, the boys from Bondi are the latest YouTube sensations – self-made celebrities with a hilarious and risqué look at life for the eternally hip. Just don’t call them hipsters; they’re much more underground than a bunch of try-hard wannabes. ‘But Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs are so full of hipsters these days, what makes these two so special and why are they in London?’ I hear you cry. Well, apparently they’re over

Check out what we’re following today on AustralianTimes.co.uk and follow us on Twitter @AustralianTimes

What’s On Joel Sarakula 16 August @ Alleycat, Soho Heath Franklin’s Chopper: 20 - 24 August Southbank Centre Mick Thomas & Squeezbox Wally 23 August @ The Borderline Darren Hayes 24 September @ IndigO2, Temper Trap 4 October @ Hammersmith Apollo Tame Impala 30 October @ O2 Academy, Brixton Julia Stone 5 Nov @ Scala, Kings Cross Gotye 12 November @ Hammersmith Apollo The Cat Empire 10 December @ O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire Pam Ann 28-29 March @ Hammersmith Apollo

For full details...

...and more Aussie gigs go to: AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

here and working on a new fashion label they launched but it’s way too underground for this writer to get a handle on. Adrian explains that it’s a mix of work and play for the boys while they’re in London. “We read this article how condom sales go up by 40,000 thousand in the

athlete village alone and we thought that’s the party we want to be at. In relations to our fashion brand there are a few boxes we had to tick but we don’t want to talk about this. We’re trying to keep it on the down-low; we don’t actually want people to find out about it.” There’s plenty of advantage for these stylish, good-looking boys from Down Under and Dom says plenty of girls are falling for their charms. “The chicks love our Australian accent, we sound so authentic. It’s almost like I’m a bogan,” Dom drawls before Adrian leaps to his defence. “You’re not a bogan, you’ve got such a soft accent.” Dom relents on this point and has proof: “I suppose, I’ve never ever been to Parramatta. I don’t even know where it is. I haven’t been west of Surry Hills.” The YouTube videos which first

bought Dom and Adrian to everyone’s attention have gained a cult following and while we talk at a pub in East London, both Australian and English alike stop to stare and pose for pictures, much to the boys disgust. “We’re very disappointed people have been watching our YouTube videos, we’re going to put out some public service announcements asking people not to watch them. The true art of being underground is when no one knows you exist. All the best people in the world at the moment you don’t even know.” Regardless of this the videos continue and with the release of the boy’s first music single ‘The Life Organic’ they’ve been added to the bill for the Parklife Festival back home in October. Dom sees it as an opportunity to play some new music and deflate any hype. “We’ve got another track coming out late August and touring Parklife, it will be a great forum for us to tell people not to listen to us. I think our live music will involve a lot of dolphin, bats and dinosaur cries with some sonic pulses. The music equivalent of just before a tsunami hits.” Try as they might, the hipsters are very influential and I can’t resist the chance to seek out some advice for London living. “Take advantage of being an eight,” Dom believes. “You might be a six back home but as soon as you step off the plane you go up to an eight because there’s so many mingers here.” Adrian’s advice is to stay away from carbs. “You don’t want the Heathrow

injection. You see people with good figures who look like pregnant whales after two weeks. Go organic. You want a healthy balance of organic living and benders.” The boys are also supportive of Australia’s efforts in the Olympics. Dom thinks their results are harder to come by than earning a simple gold. “Think about it, coming first you’ve just got to swim faster than everyone, but coming sixth you’ve got to finish in between fifth and seventh. That’s totes harder and Australia has been doing it.” With these wise words from the new edgy duo straight out of Bondi I’m left a little bit inspired and somewhat bewildered. Just don’t tell anyone about it.

AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

The amazing Ruddman does it again n

Xavier Rudd – 8 August – Koko, London

Review by Lee Crossley It’s 9.10pm on a Wednesday evening at Koko in Camden. The crowd is stirring with anticipation. The Olympics are reaching a climax and London is simply buzzing. There is electricity in the air. Josh Kumis, a singer-songwriter from Swindon, has the capacity crowd well oiled. Barely 21, Kumis is a star rising fast, with his hit ‘Don’t Go’, which he finishes with, already reaching No.1 in the UK. Rudd waltzes on stage 10 minutes after he’s due but that seems to be part of the act. He could not be more relaxed. His two week growth fails to mask an ear-toear grin, cloth headband, flannel shirt, loose-fitting cotton trousers and shoes probably somewhere in the tour bus. He waves, bows and takes his place behind his instruments, featuring several didgeridoos, lap guitar, drums, bar chimes, stomp box among others. Behind him are two flags: the black

and white Sea Shepherd’s flag, of which Rudd is a strong supporter, and the Aboriginal flag. A boomerang and an indigenous wooden carving also feature behind him – visual clues of the culture that has become synonymous with his music, lyrics and message. He greets the mass warmly: “Hello Koko, hello Australia.” His accent is a touch nasally, a touch bogan even, dare I say. But the Ruddman, part hippy, can get away with it. He can do no wrong. He kicks things off with ‘Lioness Eye’, the opening track of Spirit Bird, a sixminute instrumental that, like many of his songs, pays homage to the Australian landscape and all the life – particularly birdlife on this album – it supports. The didgeridoo features heavily and whips the crowd into a frenzy. Drums and computer-generated elements are infused and before long the mass is delirious with joy. To the untrained ear, there is a whole ensemble supporting Rudd but everyone knows it’s a one-man band. Incredible. He plays ‘Fortune Teller’ and ‘Full Circle’ before taking a breather and conversing with his audience. His set is interspersed with light-hearted story-telling and Aussie banter. He relays a story about how he was offered ‘fine Australian wine’ after many of his European gigs.

“They’d offer me the wine and I’d look down at the label. Ah, another Jacob’s Creek. Beauty!” The crowd laps it up. The thing about Rudd is he stands for plenty but never preaches, which is so much more persuasive than telling people what to think. His 12-song set, before the encore, lasts over an hour. He’s so good a varying his pace. There are times when he will slow to a stroll before kicking into a sprint. He does as he pleases, at times seemingly oblivious to the hundreds assembled, at others chatting with them freely like they’re guests at a backyard barbecue. But what strikes me is how he delights in making others happy. Nothing epitomises this more than his act of kindness during ‘Let Me Be’, perhaps his best known song. Halfway through he motions for a fan to come on stage. She is ecstatic. Nothing can erase her huge smile. He hands her two drumsticks and allows her to play alongside him. She eagerly obeys. Her lack of talent is inconsequential. Everyone knows this is a lifelong highlight just by her radiating glow. Rudd laughs a friendly laugh at her efforts to keep beat. The crowd laughs, too, with them. I track the mystery fan down outside the venue later to discover her name

is Alex Goltz, a German living in Ireland who first discovered Xavier while travelling through Australia a decade ago. She’s seen him a dozen times now. Xavier has chosen well. She still grinning that same grin as she poses for photos with strangers, drumsticks in hand. Xavier leaves for his obligatory encore. The crowd begs him back. He obliges, playing two more: ‘Bow Down’ and ‘Spirit Bird’. He calms the crowd before ‘Spirit Bird’ to share a story of the song’s origin. Storytelling – the essence of the people who influence Rudd most, the Aboriginals. His story reveals a trip to the Kimberley where he had an encounter with a red-tailed black cockatoo. It’s not a story charismatically told but it’s engaging nonetheless. It’s honest, soulful and above all, it’s personal. It’s his but he wants it to be ours. What a good bloke! And a masterful musician. Thanks Ruddman, for the memories.

AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment


travel

Travel | 9

AustralianTimes.co.uk

tting This week we’re pu

Portugal on the map

Not being a big fan of surprises, I think there is a particular thrill to be had from travelling to places where its name gives you a bit of a heads up as to what you’re in for. Anything that starts with ‘Isle de’ you know you’re going to get waving palm trees, long secluded white beaches and garish cocktails inevitably containing Malibu. Heading to “Wet’n’wild”? Prepare yourself for some aquatic craziness. Planning a visit to the recently twinned towns of ‘Dull’ and ‘Boring’ however, well – you’ve only got yourself to blame. That’s why, when someone suggested Porto in Portugal, I was all for it. A long time fan of the sweet sticky nectar of the gods otherwise known as ‘Port’, what better place to go than a city named in tribute. Then I was informed it was possibly called Porto because it is a Port, at the estuary of the Douro river, which twists and turns up through the

historic old town under high arched bridges and on into a steep-walled green valley where the vineyards line the banks on structured terraces. Fine, I thought, so be it. I’ll drink my port on a boat.

Putting the ‘port’ in Porto

Luckily, when one arrives in Porto’s historical city centre after an efficient and straightforward metro trip in from the airport (€2.30 per ride) one can drink ones port wherever one likes. One can drink it sitting in one of the many cafes spilling out onto the cobbled streets of the old town, where Portuguese men ‘take’ their espressos crowded round small tables in the sunshine. One can buy an inexpensive bottle from a local store and pick one of the parks that sit on the steep hills looking down to the river. One could even try to take a tipple in a pew of the ornate and heavily decorated baroque Sao Francisco Church that dominates the centre of the old town, before wandering tipsily through its cavernous catacombs, complete with a basement of bones of elders past - accessible through a window in the floor. The old historic town itself, a UNESCO World Heritage site, seems to be a work in progress. It has all the elements of any chic historical European city, the cobblestone streets, the narrow, terraced houses with latticed balconies, the tiled walls and shuttered windows. Tiny alleyways curl upwards on sloping hills away from the river, dotted with churches. Except, the buildings are graffitied, the balconies crumbling, many of the windows in a state of disrepair, and the cobblestones in need of a good scrub. And yet, somehow, it manages

n

When ALEX IVETT visited Portugal’s stunning city of Porto – she had only one thing on her mind. Port! And there was no stopping her until she’d had her fill, tasted it all, and made some Portuguese Porto Port friends along the way.

to combine these individual flaws into an overall picture of, if not beauty, then something genuine, atmospheric and interesting. Particularly if after a few beverages, you climb the 225 steps to the top of bell tower of Clergious Church, close one eye, squint and take in the historic centre as a blurry whole.

Planning the attack

You can appreciate another excellent view from afar whilst indulging at the ‘caves’ – the port cellars - that decorate the hill on the other side of the Luis I Bridge across from the old town. The bridge, built in 1886, is, I’m reliably informed, something to admire in itself. That is, if you’re into the 19th century engineering feats of Gustave Eiffel. Admire, if you will, the thick retaining wall on the Vila Nova de Gaia side that allows pedestrians to cross the top level at vertiginous heights above the river, while cars traverse on a second roadway suspended by the high arch above. However, if you’re like me, its singular purpose is a convenient and scenic link between the largely rundown historical city centre, and the shinier collection of riverfront restaurants, market stalls, and port cellars of the other side. From the oldtown side, sitting in one of the medieval district of Ribeira’s waterfront cafes (€3.50 for 2 espressos and 2 croissants) you can look across at the caves and plan your assault. They all sit, huddled together in walking distance, their names proudly displayed in 3D ‘Hollywood’ sign style poking out above the redtiled roofs of the surrounding buildings. Although a map is useful, the prominent advertising means the alternative is just to pick one at the highest point and go from there (if only for the pure reason of appreciating the basic rule of physics that a body in downward motion will propel itself forward). Essentially the steep streets plus the cheap tastings means you want to ensure your cellar tour allows you to head downhill rather than up.

To good health

The prices of tastings vary at the different cellars, but all share a basic concept; pay a few euros and you will get in exchange a number of generous helpings of port in all its varieties. We start at Taylors

(€3 for 3 tastings), where you sit around a little barrel, on littler barrels, while a helpful man in clipped English tones imparts wisdom on all things fortified. “Mmmmm,” I say, nodding wisely, as he explains the production processes that lead to Port’s extra sweet taste. “Oh yes, is that so?” I murmur as he discusses the barrel-aged benefits of the Tawny, and “I so agree” as he waxes lyrical about the richness of the 20 year-old Vintage. All I know by the end of this introduction is one is light in colour, one is dark, and one is old. And they’re all… delicious.

sitting on high stools by an open window in the warm afternoon breeze, overlooking a cobbled street opposite a church, while a man plays a piano in the corner. A pair of port-filled happy customers start an impromptu waltz. Seriously, not even in a port-induced hallucination could I make this up. By the time we make it to the cellars that line up along the riverfront, including Sandeman – one of the biggest producers, I have had ingested more ‘sugar’ than a child at the Easter Show, and am in desperate need of something more substantial than a alcohol-filled chocolate.

Eat, drink, laugh Offley is just down the road (€4 - €12 for tastings of 2-3) and it is all dark internal spaces to Taylor’s airy and open garden-side tasting room. Long wooden tables are boarded by huge oak barrels, and a port and chocolate tasting (€8) fits well with the setting. You can continue to learn port related facts, if so inclined, on a tour of the underground cellars. However I choose to learn through practice, and head straight for the tasting instead. The next, Quevedo, (€1-€5 euro per individual) is a big open upstairs space lined with information boards where you are encouraged to read about the different types of port before making your choice about which one to try. I instead employ the age-old tested method of decision making by closing my eyes and pointing at the list at random. This tasting is enjoyed

Porto surprises in more ways than just the abundance of drinking options. Along the waterfront there are cafes and food stalls offering cheap eats and excellent views. Propelling forward along the waterfront in a horizontal motion, away from the cellars, we stumble across a pop-up outdoor restaurant that has appeared in an open square, where everything has been cooked on big solar powered metal BBQs – half-a dozen half-moons where the inner circumference captures the hot afternoon sun and heats it enough to sizzle plates of delicious chorizo, and seafood mussels. It comes with 2 big fresh glass of sparkling vinho verde on picnic tables spread around the square, all for €15 for 2. A recovery lunch the next day is in another lucky find. Miss’OPO (Rua dos Caldeireiros 100), a spacious and modern cafe/clothes store, that serves


10 | Travel

crisp rose in glasses so big it comes with a friendly warning from the waitress that maybe we should line our stomachs first. A big platter of fresh prosciutto, selection of cheese and warm bread does the job well enough (everything for €9). If that wasn’t enough, on the recommendation of an excellent map produced by locals (available free at most hostels) we find a hole-in-the wall restaurant, where tables are few and customers are many. Get to Casa Santo Antonio (Rua Sao Bento da Vitoria) on the dot as it opens at 9pm and you may

14 - 20 August 2012

be lucky enough to snag a couple of seats at the tiled bar, and sit back as the waiter serves you a big jug of sangria, refuses you a menu, and brings you plates of traditional Portuguese dishes of the kitchen’s choice. One after the other we’re piled with olives, fresh salted cod-fish, suckling pig, chorizo and fresh bread, followed by chocolate pudding and apple cake, all for €30 for two.

After the tipple, comes the triple

Now before you start to think that all there is to do in Porto is wander the cobbled streets with a strip of pig product in one hand and a glass of alcohol in the other, rest assured there are other activities. If you have a few days, or even just the one, then try to make the pilgrimage to where Port begins its magical journey from

the vine to your stomach – the Douro Valley. The river that winds through Porto continues on eastwards where densely populated towns give way to sharp inclines of richly green terraced vines and scatterings of individual stone villas. The Douro Valley can be visited in a day, and cruise boats leave regularly from the docks in Porto heading up the river through a series of locks that prove striking in themselves for the sheer heights they lift up boats crammed with tourists. Otherwise, 175km of railway hugs the edge of the river for most of the journey, giving unique views from the rivers edge. Finally, there is the hire car, which is in Portugal a relatively cheap, if not disconcerting option when negotiating hairpin bends from the other side of the road. The advantage of having your own car is that you can drive yourself right up to the door of any old winery you

fancy. The disadvantage is many these wineries will seem surprised to have you just turn up on their doorstep. Coming from Australia where a cellar door is a well established concept, we perhaps had the false expectation that every wine region globally operated a similar policy of just swing by and come on in, try our stock, admire our grapes, purchase our product and then stumble on to the winery next door. However, our attempt to impose this approach in the Douro Valley results in not so much a ‘wine tour’ as a mad scramble up and down mountains to find anywhere that will serve us a drink. Perhaps it is also because we don’t have a map and instead of identifying appropriate wineries to visit beforehand, we adopt the policy of stopping anywhere called a Quinta (which in Portugal refers to an estate or country villa) that looks like it has a vineyard on its property. It starts off well with an impromptu

stop at Quinta do Tedo. It has an oak covered tasting room and a wellinformed host who knows exactly why we’re there, immediately lining up a row of ten free tastings so we can try their full range. The next down the road is Quinta do Pego a beautiful hill-top hotel with its own tasting room usually reserved only for guests, which they luckily decide to open for us, taking pity on a couple of naïve and thirsty travellers.

Luck of the Duoro

A pattern soon develops. Drive up and down some winding roads, randomly taking turn-offs to any Quinta in sight, find out it’s actually more specifically a fancy hotel or guesthouse and be met with a bemused (if lucky) or disdainful (if not) expression when asking if they do tastings. Some take the opportunity to let you do a tasting if you eat at their

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Travel | 11

AustralianTimes.co.uk

(very fancy) and expensive restaurant (Quinta Nova de Nossa) where others are so apologetic at their lack of tastings that they give you free big glasses of vinho verde and offer to let you admire their pool. Mmmm, nice pool, you say, glugging back the wine. Others just give you an incredulous “are you lost?” when halfway down their driveway, forcing a three point turn on a narrow dirt road balanced between terraces of gnarled vines. All in all, it won’t be your traditional experience of a wine tour, but it is interesting and scenic none the less, even if for nothing else than the opportunity to have a sneak look into how the other half live – in their infinity pools balanced on a mountain side and white-washed historic villas tucked into the vines. By the time we make it back to our own historic 18th century farmhouse, Quinta do Ervedal (slightly less whitewashed, and slightly more

outside the wine region but tastefully done and very reasonably priced), it feels like the day has appropriately reflected the Porto experience. There was eating, there was drinking, and there was sunshine and views – all the elements of a traditional European holiday except executed with a unique and unexpected Portuguese twist. AustralianTimes.co.uk/travel

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12 | Jobs & Money

14 - 20 August 2012

Dollar Review

Australian Dollar strengthens on domestic payroll data The Australian Dollar reached a four month high of 1.4758 to the British Pound last week as optimistic domestic Payroll data exceeded expectations. The bullish move came after employment edged past expectations with a rise of 14,000 in July, while the jobless rate surprised with a dip to 5.2 precent. After the robust job report investors expect The Reserve Bank of Australia to cut interest rates further, even though earlier this week, the RBA held rates at 3.5 per cent and made no indication of imminent rate cuts. The upside potential of the Aussie Dollar was limited due to the contradictory data released from China. On Thursday data released from China offered fresh evidence the world’s second biggest economy was slowing. “China’s exports rose 1 percent in July from a year earlier, following an 11.3 percent increase in June”, the customs bureau in Beijing said, as reported by Businessweek. Risk aversion moderated on the release of this data from China and specifically limited the upside of the Aussie Dollar due to China

being Australia’s top export partner. The upside of the increase in the Australian dollar is backed by the recent AAA rating and this increases the attraction of Australia’s foreign investment potentials thereby directly strengthening its currency. Market sentiment expects the Australian Dollar to come under pressure in the coming week as negative headlines are appearing out of the world economy thereby reducing risk-taking behaviour. “Uncertainty over the global

economic outlook is certainly a concern for growth-related currencies,” said Kengo Suzuki, a foreign-exchange strategist in Tokyo at Mizuho Securities Co, as reported by Bloomberg. GBP/AUD: 1.4811 EUR/AUD: 1.1676 AUD/USD: 1.0569 AUD/JPY: 82.8593 Exchange Rates at 09:58, 13 August 2012

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Sport | 13

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Can Lions cash in and win the AFL London flag?

n

North London win six games in a row but must now snatch flag from Demons’ grasp

Australia cling to their top 10 status in London

By Lee Crossley North London Lions have managed to do what all other AFL London sides could not – send two teams into the big one - the Grand Final at Motspur Park this Saturday. The Lions’ eight-point win over Putney in Saturday’s preliminary final was, remarkably, their sixth-straight win in what has been a superb last two months for the club. They have earned their place at the big dance but must overcome minor premier Wandsworth in order to claim their first piece of silverware since their back-to-back flags in 2001-2002. 2001 was also the last time both the first and second grade played in the Grand Final. Lions’ president Chris Rea said the success was the result of good numbers around the club, focus and enthusiasm. “We got belted in all three grades by West London in Round 1 and we weren’t sure how we’d go this year,” he said. “We turned over a lot of players and it took a while to get going and then it all started to click into place. We had good numbers around the club and when we made the finals, there was a lot of desire not to trip up like we have in previous years.” Regents Park Lions, North’s Conference side, responded to last week’s touch up by the Raiders to defeat Clapham by 29 points in the preliminary final. If they want to reverse the result from a fortnight ago – when the Raiders reined by 26 points – and stop the Raiders’ back-to-back quest, they’ll need to kick straighter, the Lions booting fourteen behinds (most of which were gettable set shots) to almost let the Clapham side off the hook. In the Social division Balham Hawks, Wimbledon’s thirds, stormed home in the final term kicking five goals, to Ealing Emu’s none, to win 11.1 (61) to 5.8 (38). The Hawks now meet Reading in the first Grand Final on Saturday at Motspur Park at 11am, with the Conference game – Raiders v Lions – scheduled to kick off at 1pm and the main event, the Demons v Lions Premiership match will start at 3pm.

Premiership preliminary final: Lions 9.13 (67) def Magpies 8.11 (59).

This was one of the season’s tensest, most physical and tightly-contested

matches, rightly living up to everything a preliminary final should be. Putney, missing three members of the spine that propelled them into the finals – centre half-back Lachie O’Toole, centre halfforward Pete McGettigan and full forward Andrew Slevison – were gallant and milked every ounce of potential out of the squad that took the field on Saturday. They even led by eight points at three quarter-time and appeared to have the momentum after booting five goals in the middle two quarters to the Lions’ three. “We’re playing poor footy and they’re only up by a goal,” came the call from the Lions’ huddle at the last change. True enough but also true is the Lions probably were not paying their opposition enough respect. With so much to play for in the last, the Lions weren’t about to let a shot at the Grand Final slip in front of a wing full of home support. The lift came from the engine room: Luke Stevenson, Benny Poole and Quentin Keeble, who was moved from attack into the guts. Levi Fernandez had some telling footy across halfback, where Dean Ipaviz Ryan Gow continued to control things, while up front coach Adam Littlechild’s hands didn’t let him down and skipper Courtney Shergold battled hard. Special mention must also go to Brian Chisholm, who was probably the best rest-of-world player on the field. Both ruckmen Jacob Bailey, for Putney, and Mark Hawkins, for North, were among the best players for their respective teams. While Hawkins took the honours at stoppages, Bailey was probably more influential around the ground. The Lions had too much left in the tank at the end of the day, booting three goals to one in the final term up hill to win by eight points. While the Magpies exited in straight sets, they can be proud of their season and how they finished, given the cattle they had to choose from. Our attention now turns to the main event this Saturday where the big question is can North London cash in on their remarkable run of form and good fortune (lack of injuries and plenty of players available) or will Wandsworth do what they couldn’t last year and take the silverware they believe they’re entitled to back to the Alex in Clapham on Saturday night?

Conference preliminary final: Regent’s Park 5.14 (44) def Clapham 3.4 (22)

Fourteen behinds pretty much sums up the day for an inaccurate, but dominant, Regent’s Park side that was too good for Clapham in Saturday’s ALF London curtain raiser. The Demons came hard uphill in the final stanza but it was too little, too late as the home side prevailed. Club president Chris Rea dictated terms out of defence all day, with Chris Brennan through the spine, marking strongly. Peter Doyle toiled hard in the middle for the Demons and may get another chance to show his wares in the Premiership match this weekend.

Social preliminary final: Balham Hawks 11.1 (61) to Ealing Emus 5.8 (38)

In a fiercely fought contest, where less than a goal separated the sides at each break, the Hawks prevailed with five goals to none in the final term. It’s a remarkable feat that the Hawks have progressed to the Grand Final after advancing from the elimination final a fortnight ago, to the preliminary and now to the big one. There, they’ll get a chance to give Wimbledon something to cheer about in what has been a fruitless year in the higher grades – all in front of home fans at Motspur Park. Standing in their way will be Reading, who have made their first AFL London Grand Final since joining the league five years ago. Images by Dewi Lewis AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Australia clung to a top 10 finish before its athletes celebrated the end of the London Olympics in a raucous closing ceremony. With seven gold, 16 silver and 12 bronze medals, Australia ranked 10th on the medal table which gives priority to gold. But only a near-miss to a Kazakhstan boxer, who was given a silver medal despite a tied bout against his Russian opponent, kept Australia’s top 10 billing. If the Kazakh fighter won, Australia would have been relegated to 11th spot. Australia’s final appearance at the Games was heralded by sailor Malcolm Page carrying the flag into the Olympic Stadium with the rest of the 203 flag bearers. The 10,800 athletes poured into the stadium en masse behind them, entering the stadium by filing through the crowd, delighted participants in a ceremony punctuated by the best of Brit music. Earlier, competition closed with Chloe Esposito recording the best result by an Australian in the women’s modern pentathlon seventh. Esposito bettered the 14th place in Sydney 2000 of Kitty Chiller, now Australia’s deputy chef de mission. “It’s amazing, it makes me feel really good,” Esposito said. Meanwhile, Australian Michael Shelley shocked himself with a 16th place in the men’s marathon, with

countrymen Martin Dent finishing 28th and Jeff Hunt 63rd. Shelley clocked two hours 14 minutes and 10 seconds in a race won by Uganda’s Stephen Kiprotich in 2:08:09. “I can’t believe it’s a top 16,” Shelley said. “I’m shocked and surprised.” Australia’s mountain biking couple Dan McConnell and Rebecca Henderson pleaded for more money after their individual races on Sunday. McConnell finished 21st, bettering his 39th at the Beijing Games four years ago, while Henderson placed 25th on Olympic debut in the women’s race. But their desire for more funding for their sport will likely fall on deaf ears, given the feelings of Australian Olympic Committee president John Coates. Reflecting on Australia’s London campaign, Coates was adamant funding wasn’t the problem. “I am absolutely certain that the sports have to look at themselves rather than look for more money,” Coates said. - AAP

Our London 2012 Aussie gold medallists Cate Campbell, Alicia Coutts, Mel Schlanger, Brittany Elmslie Swimming - Women’s 4x100m Freestyle Relay Team Tom Slingsby Sailing - Men’s Laser Class Anna Meares Cycling – Women’s Sprint Race Sally Pearson Athletics – Women’s 110m Hurdles Nathan Outteridge, Iain Jensen Sailing – Men’s 49ers Class Malcolm Page, Mathew Belcher Sailing – Men’s 470 Class Murray Stewart, Jacob Clear, Tate Smith, Dave Smith Kayak – Men’s K4 1000m Sprint Team


14 | Sport

14 - 20 August 2012

The Aussie men hoping for rugby league Challenge Cup victory Australians have played a key part in rugby league’s Challenge Cup Final history and this year will be no exception. The 2012 finalists - Leeds Rhinos and Warrington Wolves - have a long history of recruiting players from Down Under, players who have made rich contributions to their success. Warrington boast some serious Australian flavour this season with brothers Michael and Joel Monaghan, Brett Hodgson and recent recruit Trent Waterhouse. The Monaghans are key players in the Wolves bid to win their third Challenge Cup in four years. Thirty two year old Michael began his career with his home town club Canberra Raiders in 2001 but moved to Manly in 2004. Originally a half back, he switched to hooker for the 2006 season but two years later signed for Warrington. He became a key member of their side and in 2009 won the Lance Todd Trophy after being named man of the match in the Wolves’ Challenge Cup Final triumph over Huddersfield Giants. A clever, quick-witted dummy half he scored one try and had a hand in their other two touchdowns but showed his versatility the following year, reverting to scrum half as Warrington retained the trophy with a 30-6 victory over Leeds Rhinos. Joel joined his younger brother at the

Halliwell Jones Stadium for the 2011 season after 10 years in the NRL, which included two spells at the Canberra Raiders in between a stint at the Sydney Roosters. A tall rangy winger with great all-round skills, Joel, 30, has become adept at getting on the end of the huge spiralling bombs put up by scrum half Lee Briers and is a real threat out wide. Brett Hodgson was at full back for Huddersfield Giants in their 2009 defeat to Warrington but he moved to Warrington two years later. Born in Liverpool, New South Wales, the 34-year-old is vastly experienced having begun his career with Western Suburbs before spells with Parramatta and Wests Tigers before joining Huddersfield for the 2009 season. He may be a relatively slight, gauntlooking figure but make no mistake this former Man of Steel is a top class performer. Hodgson is particularly dangerous chiming into the line and is an excellent goal kicker. Warrington’s Australian playing contingent is completed by former Penrith and Australia back rower Trent Waterhouse who joined Warrington at the start of the season. The 31-yearold has been a valuable addition to a powerhouse Wolves pack. But the Australian connection doesn’t stop there. The Warrington coach Tony Smith, born in Lismore, New South Wales, is the younger

brother of current Sydney Roosters coach Brian. He didn’t scale the heights as a player but made his mark as a coach in Britain, initially with Huddersfield and then Leeds. He became Great Britain coach and was in charge of England before joining Warrington for the 2009 season and leading them to Challenge Cup glory. Over in the Leeds camp, back rower Brett Delaney began his career as a centre in the NRL with Parramatta Eels before moving to the Gold Coast Titans. He joined the Rhinos for the 2010 season but with the arrival of Brian McDermott as coach in 2011 Delaney was moved into the pack. It has proved an inspired decision; Delaney is strong, quick and poses a real threat out wide. The only other Australian in the Leeds ranks is full back Brent Webb but you could be forgiven for thinking he’s a Kiwi! Webb was born in Cairns but began his professional career with the New Zealand Warriors and opted to play for the New Zealand national side, turning in some world class performances. He signed for Leeds in 2006 and established himself as one of the great attacking full backs in Super League. Don’t miss the Challenge Cup Final at Wembley Stadium, Saturday 25 August AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Limited success for Australian Olympic Team in London Continued from p16...

Olympics, Australia didn’t produce an individual swimming gold medallist. “My only disappointment here was of the 35 medals, one, that swimming didn’t do better and just get us a bit more,” Coates said. “The other disappointment was that we didn’t nail those gold medals, it was the silvers that dominated our tally.” Of the seven golds, only one came at the pool - the women’s 4x100m freestyle relay. Sally Pearson delivered on her destiny to secure the sole track and field gold, in the 100m hurdles. And cyclist Anna Meares triumphed in the women’s sprint. Apart from that, Australians wanting a gold rush turned to water, outside. Sailors hoisted Australian spirits despite not even being in London they raced almost 200km away in Weymouth. Tom Slingsby won the men’s laser class; Nathan Outteridge and Iain Jensen the 49er class; Malcolm Page teamed with Mathew Belcher to win the 470 dinghy. And the K4 1000m canoe crew of Tate Smith, Murray Stewart, Jake Clear and David Smith captured the gold medal in their event.

Among the silvers, there were tales of triumph and tragedy. Jared Tallent’s silver in the men’s 50km walk was a triumph; swimmer James Magnussen being beaten by one lousy hundredth of a second in the 100m freestyle a tragedy. Magnussen arrived in London as a world champion predicting gold, just like the men’s hockey team. But the Kookaburras’ Olympic curse continued, unsatisfied with bronze. Defending Olympic champions Steve Hooker and Matthew Mitcham crashed spectacularly. Hooker failed to clear a height in the pole vault final - at least he made it that far, Mitcham didn’t even make

the final of his 10m platform event. But among the ruins, there were some records. Swimmer Alicia Coutts was Australia’s most successful athlete in London, grabbing five records - one gold in the women’s relay, three silver and a bronze. In the process, Coutts equalled the record for the most medals by an Australian at the one Olympics, sharing the rare stratosphere with ex-swim stars Ian Thorpe and Shane Gould. And Tallent’s walking silver was his third Olympic medal, equalling the record for the most by an Australian male track and field athlete. - AAP

AustralianTimes.co.uk/London-Olympics

Who will claim London’s most prestigious Tag Rugby title?

2012 END GOAL: The 2010 & inaugural London Tag Rugby Championship winner’s, Ref’s Fault! Who will claim the 2012 title?

By Phillip Browne With the year’s summer competitions coming to an end this week, the Tag Rugby is just starting to heat up with the 2012 London Tag Rugby Championships on this Saturday, 18 August at the East London Rugby club in West Ham. This tournament will be the biggest adult Tag Rugby event ever to be held in London with all the champion London teams taking part as well as special guests, the Irish powerhouse Bircroft Panthers from Dublin. The London Tag Rugby Championships started in 2010 with a humble five team tournament and was won by the Gladstone Park champion side, Ref’s Fault who featured a host of representative players such as Ben Farlow (London Australia), Maree Steunebrink (London NZ) & Melissa Spero (London Australia). In 2011, the tournament expanded to 12 teams with D.T.F of the Balham competition captained by Dane Challenor claiming the silverware in the Mixed A grade and Trip & Chase of Wandsworth led by James Leggett taking home the trophy in the Mixed Social grade. At the time of print, there are currently 27 teams registered for

the 2012 tournament across three divisions which include Mixed A grade, Mixed Social grade and for the first time, Men’s. This tournament will be a chance for champion teams such as Astro Burn (Wandsworth), Churrr (Highbury), Speights (Canada Water) & Tokyo Drift (Hoxton) to lock horns for the very first time. There will be some fantastic displays of Tag Rugby on show no doubt! Meanwhile, the Autumn Tag Rugby season in London commences on Wednesday, 29 August. Leagues will take place at Acton, Balham, Barnes, Bermondsey, Borough, Rotherhithe, Shoreditch, Southfields, Whitechapel & White City. If you would like to get involved in one of the fastest growing sports in London, new team and individual registrations are welcome. This is a great chance to develop a network of friends if you are new to London. To register for a Try Tag Rugby competition or event, go to www. trytagrugby.com or email info@ trytagrugby.com for more details. AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport


Sport | 15

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Genia favours Barnes to stay at Wallabies pivot THE Continued from p16... Not considered ready for Australia’s four June Tests, Cooper had to watch Barnes star against the Welsh. There were also injuries to other five-eighth candidates James O’Connor, Kurtley Beale and uncapped Christian Lealiifano. Barnes is tipped to retain the No.10 jersey when the team for Australia’s Rugby Championship opener is announced. “Quadey has done a lot of work in terms of getting his body right and I think he is fit, he is ready to go,” Genia told reporters ahead of the All

Blacks clash on Saturday. “It’s just a matter of whether you’d be willing, I guess, to put him into a Test match straight up and play 80 minutes against the All Blacks. “I think that’s more a call for (Wallabies coach) Robbie (Deans) than anyone else. “From a player’s point of view, it would be obviously great having him (Cooper) there, but Barnesy did a great job against Wales and in all fairness, I guess, probably deserves first crack at that No.10 jersey.” There will be at least two changes to the side that completed a three-Test whitewash of Wales due to injuries to No.8 Wycliff Palu and inside centre Pat McCabe. Dave Dennis is likely to fill the vacant back row spot, while Anthony Faingaa is considered a strong chance of replacing McCabe. Having played every minute of Queensland’s Super campaign and Australia’s four June Tests, Genia is refreshed again after three weeks without match play. “I definitely appreciated the time off. I haven’t lost any fitness, any conditioning, I’ve been working pretty hard,” said Genia, Australia’s 2012 Super Rugby player of the season. He identified winning the battle at

the breakdown as a key factor against the All Blacks. “They tend to dominate there which gives them good, clean quick ball and they tend to stifle a lot of opposition ball because they are so good in that area,” Genia said. “We’ve identified that as a big focus in the last couple of weeks and leading into this game and that’s an area where we’re going to have to dominate if we are going to do well against them.” Genia said the players were driven by the desire to win back the Bledisloe Cup after a decade-long drought, but felt it would take something “very special” to do that. He dismissed any suggestion Australia would be looking to avenge their World Cup semi-final loss to New Zealand last year. “No, that’s completely irrelevant. It’s a new group, compared to the group that played in the World Cup last year,” Genia said. – AAP Where will you be cheering the Wallabies on in their Rugby Championship opener against New Zealand at 11am (London time) on Saturday morning? Tell us now at AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

McIlroy stops Scott’s golf redemption bid Continued from p16... Scott was just a shot off the lead and the smell of a sweet victory just weeks after his British Open meltdown was on the breeze. Overnight rain had softened the course, the wind had died down and, seemingly, his shot at redemption was right in front of him. But a poor chipping display and an uncooperative broomstick putter left the 32-year-old with two costly bogeys on par-fives, essentially putting him four back of McIlroy before the start of the final round. From there, he was unable to make a charge and, after McIlroy’s finalround six-under 66 was matched against Scott’s last-round 73, he was a distant 11 shots back in a tie for 11th. McIlroy finished at 13-under-par, eight clear of Englishman David Lynn (68) at five-under, while Geoff Ogilvy (70) joined Scott as the leading Australian, narrowly missing a second straight major top 10. “I just never really got it going,” Scott said.

“Rory had it in his hands today, and put it out of everyone’s reach.” Scott will try to stay positive, now having finished inside the top 25 in seven of his past eight majors, the top 10 in four of them, with two runner ups. His worst major finish this year was T15 at the US Open but he says the year can’t be considered successful unless he makes a real run at the upcoming US Tour playoffs. “No not yet - I have to win something,” he said. “I feel like I have played too good this year to not have a trophy somewhere so I’ll be determined in New York, Boston, Indy or Atlanta to get my name on one somewhere. “But I think I have to take a lot of stock out of what I did this year in the majors and just try to improve a little bit. “I just have to keep at it, keep practising and, to try to play against guys like Rory, I am going to have to play great. “The game is right there and I have eight months to think about it and get

talented yet. “Do we want to stay in the top five? Of course,” Hellwig told AAP. “I think it’s a really good thing - nothing wrong with trying to be excellent. “We won’t be top three. I think the Brits, China and Russia are going to battle it out for the top three. “The US, Ukraine, Brazil, ourselves, France, Germany, there’s going to be six to eight countries really close after that. “What we know is we’ve got a chance to be top five - we’ve also got a chance to be 12th. “Regardless of what happens next, up until this point, this has been an absolutely fantastic preparation.” He was supportive of the efforts of the Olympic team that just clung to a

top-10 medal table placing. “It’s damn hard to win and we had seven athletes and teams that did and a whole lot more that won medals and a whole lot more that did PBs, so I think they did a fantastic job.” Hellwig said every element of preparation had been overhauled since the 2008 Paralympics in Beijing. Every sport now has a professional coach and Paralympians are also getting financial support of an equivalent level to their Olympic colleagues. “Our planning has been a lot stricter - a lot more focused on really understanding what an athlete needs to do to be able to achieve their best and for us to be able to support them in achieving that,” Hellwig said. The preparation includes having a staging camp in the Welsh capital of Cardiff, where eight of the 13 different Australian sporting sections

Whistlegate and the AFL’s 19th team By Will Denton And without any warning whatsoever, the AFL decides that now would be a good time to introduce a 19th team to the comp, and they be known as the ‘umpires’. There’s an age-old adage that goes along the lines of ‘ a good umpire shall be never noticed’. Well, for the men in green that were officiating over in Perth on Friday night, they decided to go for the complete opposite of the aforementioned sage words and bring on as much attention and limelight as possible, whilst riling up the local crowd so much, they hadn’t been this angry since they stopped serving full strength beer at the footy. Most of the finger pointing and spittle was caused by the amount of ‘DOOB’s’ paid (or ‘deliberately out of bounds’ for those playing at home) and normally there’s about one, maybe two paid a game. Well, there was TEN paid for the match. Honestly, it was such a shame because it was actually a great game of footy with The Eagles of West Coast edging out Geelong by less than a kick. A shame because this game will be forever labelled ‘whistlegate’ and not the elegant yet brutal contest it was. A memo must have gotten around quick smart as the rest of the round was relatively controversy free with

important wins going to the Pies over top placed Swans (see, they are human!) and Kangaroos over Bombers, whose season is now hanging by one of James Hird’s headbands. The top four is as good as sewn up with Sydney, Adelaide, Hawthorn and Collingwood all there. Eagles may sneak in there providing someone finally follows through and blows up Collingwood’s training facility. Geelong are still quietly confident of September domination. North are daring to dream as they are all but assured a berth in the eight, barring an implosion down at Arden St. Knocking on the door are three other clubs - Freo, Saints and Carlton. Technically, Richmond can still mathematically sneak into finals but seriously not even Stephen Hawking could rustle up that formula. And what about Gold Coast notching up another milestone in their infant career, FIRST WIN AT HOME! Even though it was over the Giants who were constantly distracted by the sounds of Dreamworld in the distance. And of course if the old lore of ‘win first game as coach rule’ wasn’t going to come up, it had to happen to Port. The footy gods must really hate Port. AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Paralympians rock - ok? By Andy McCourt

ready for the next major.” Ogilvy came close to a second consecutive major top 10. “I am playing well enough to be right up on top of leaderboards with a few holes to play but I need to make a few more putts and have some things go my way. It’s getting there,” Ogilvy said. Marc Leishman (+1) finished in a tie for 27th, his best major result while John Senden (+2), Greg Chalmers (+2), Aaron Baddeley (+4) and Marcus Fraser (+10) finished the Australian tilt. - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Australia hoping for Paralympics success in London Continued from p16...

RUBDOWN

are training and bonding before heading to the Olympic village. “For three years and eleven months, these sports all operate as individual cells, but we know that there’s great value in the team culture and, if we can get that right and get everyone properly supporting each other and properly focused, it does have a medal impact,” Hellwig said. - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Well now; was that an Olympic closing ceremony or one of the best rock concerts ever? Let’s put all of the ancient rivalries between Australia and the Olde Country behind, just for a nano-second. When it comes to a good knees-up, nobody does it like the Brits. Speaking of knees-ups – there’s another lost opportunity for a new Olympic sport; the 50 metre KneesUp based on the Mother Brown Pearly Protocols. I can see Knees-Up schools and gyms opening up all over the world, particularly Japan. In Australia of course, Sally Pearson leads the way. It was not only the closing ceremony that rocked – and how it rocked when Jessie J with Brian May and 80,000 others belted out Queen’s anthemic: “We Will Rock You”. All those 60s and 70s Pop Stars! I was half-expecting Reg Presley and the Troggs to emerge with “Love is All Around”. By the way, there’s the difference between American and Anglo-Australian cultures. When they have a superstar Presley they name him Elvis; with us it’s Reg. “Reg Live In Las Vegas” doesn’t cut the mustard really does it? Never mind; the whole seventeen days rocked and Lord Seb Coe must surely be a candidate to head up the UN. But back to rivalry! It’s time to smash the Poms like Lutes. Yes, the Games are over, let the real Games begin! Of course I am talking about the Paralympics starting on 29 August. Let’s not take one iota away from our regular Olympians; 35 medals – half of them silver - and tenth overall is a great achievement and let not the gain-sayers be given any credence. Watch out in Rio though! Green and Gold meets Green and loads of Gold. The Paralympics, however, hold a special place in my heart. I grew up surrounded by disability and not a

single one of those people, family and their friends, ever wimped out of life’s challenges. To the contrary, despite being dealt some of the worst cards on the physical side, they were a darn sight happier and driven than I managed to be. At Sydney 2000 I took my then young children to the Paralympics and must confess I personally enjoyed it more than the main events. Wheelchair Basketball can make one a bit squirmy when you see the way those guys slam into one another and get spilled out of their speciallybuilt carriages. Your emotions say: “Oh no; they’ve hurt themselves badly!” and you want to leap out of your seat to help. Then you realize all the hurt was done long ago when limbs were lost; spines were crushed. As the great Rugby League coach Tommy Raudonikis said: “Pain only matters when it starts to hurt.” So, we now head in to an Olympic Games where Australia topped the entire world in 2000 with 149 medals including 63 Gold. In Athens we were fifth with 100 medals – 26 Gold. Beijing saw us fifth again with 79 medals – 23 Gold. What will London 2012 bring? Whatever Australia’s medal haul from the Paralympics; you can be one hundred percent sure that the hearts, spirits and blood-and-guts determination of our Paralympians will be turned up full blast – louder even than the chorus of “We Will Rock You” from the closing ceremony of the main Games. AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport


HERE COME THE CHAMPS Who is ready for the Tag Rugby Championships of 2012? P14

AUSTRALIAN OLYMPIC TEAM LOOK TO RIO AFTER LONDON LANGUISH n As the introspection starts after a relatively poor Olympic display by Australia in London, John Coates argues that money and athletes were not the problem. They landed with hope, yet found little glory. And don’t bet on a rapid revival in Rio. After free-falling at the London Olympics, Australia will again aim high, for a top five finish at the 2016 Rio Games. But it’s a long shot after Australia slipped in London to its least successful Olympics in two decades. “It is going to be very, very difficult,” Australian Olympic Committee president John Coates said of a recovery in Rio. Australia won seven gold medals in London, the nation’s fewest in two decades since also winning seven at the 1992 Barcelona Games. Some 16 silver and 12 bronze medals bolstered the tally but Australia slid to 10th on the medal table - after finishing sixth, fourth and fourth in the three Games prior. And like most Australians sifting through the London ashes, Coates wants to know why. “There is something there that I don’t know what it is,” he said. Coates doesn’t blame the athletes. “I wouldn’t point the finger at our athletes in terms of attitude, I can’t do that,” he said. Nor was a lack of money the root cause. “I am absolutely certain that the sports have to look at themselves rather than look for more money,” Coates said. So what, then? Every Olympic sport contested by Australians in London will hold reviews to find out. Coates suspected coaching would come up as an issue. And sports management. And sports science. And an inability to turn silver into gold. And swimming - the traditional tonesetters for the Australian campaign were decidedly off-key. For the first time since the 1972 ...continued on p14

AUSSIE GOLD

Forget the Olympics, bring on the All Blacks Wallabies halfback Will Genia says Quade Cooper is fit and ready to go, but believes Berrick Barnes has earned the right to retain fiveeighth duties for Saturday’s Test against New Zealand. Cooper has missed Australia’s past five Tests since requiring surgery for a knee injury he suffered in the bronze medal match at last year’s Rugby World Cup. The 24-year-old pivot played in five of Queensland’s Super Rugby games and has also turned out for his Brisbane club. ...continued on p15

Adam Scott blows wide again in US PGA For a moment or two, redemption was on the cards for Adam Scott at the US PGA Championship but a Rory McIlroy whirlwind roared through Kiawah Island to kill the fairytale. McIlroy turned a three-shot morning lead into an eight-shot annihilation of the field to claim his second major championship, the largest victory in PGA Championship history. Starting a rain-delayed third round early on Sunday morning, ...continued on p15

Aussies target top five at Paralympics

We celebrate our golden Olympians of London 2012 | P13

Australian Paralympic officials are hopeful their team can do what their Olympic counterparts failed to do - finish in the top five on the medal table. Australia finished in the top five for the past four Paralympics and the top 10 for the past seven. More than 4200 athletes from 160-plus countries will contest the London 2012 Paralympics, which run from 29 August to 9 September. Chef de mission Jason Hellwig describes the largest Australian team as the best prepared and most ...continued on p15


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