14 February - 20 February 2012– Issue: 399
Hughes this bloke?
Steve Hughes is cracking up the capital
Happy Valentine’s Day Where to celebrate in London
ENTERTAINMENT P6
ENTERTAINMENT P9
Bear with me Getting up close to polar bears in Canada TRAVEL P10
FROM ‘SORRY’ TO ‘LIGHT ON THE HILL’ n
Kevin Rudd, the man who delivered the apology to Australia’s stolen generations wants the nation to become “a new light on the hill” for the rest of the world on reconciliation between indigenous people and settlers FOUR years ago, then prime minister Kevin Rudd apologised to all Aboriginal people and the stolen generations for their “profound grief, suffering and loss”. Addressing members of the stolen generation at Parliament House on the anniversary on Monday, Mr Rudd received rousing applause. “Let us not with some triviality pretend that all this was mysterious, transacted in one single act four years ago. It goes on,” he said. “The journey to healing, deep, emotional and profound is a long one.” Since the apology, reconciliation had become etched in the soul of Australian politics, Mr Rudd said. “The fact that all sides of politics, despite some near wobbles and a few shakes on the way have held to the cause is a very good thing,” he said, adding that politicians should suppress the need to whack each other and instead work together on the issue. “The challenge for all of us in political life, wherever we come from ... is to provide the political foundations for this business of reconciliation.” Nations around the world were grappling with how to reconcile past oppression and exclusion towards
MAKING A SPLASH Cloud Control on London life, NME Awards and writing new songs | P8
Last drinks at the Redback Tavern THE REDBACK TAVERN, a London favourite of Aussie and Kiwi expat party-goers has been forced to close its doors, perhaps for good. The Acton venue closed for business last week and sources told Australian Times it is not absolutely certain yet that the closure will be permanent. The Redback’s management will be meeting with concerned parties on Tuesday to determine the bar’s ultimate fate. The closure comes in the wake of ongoing licensing issues for The Redback. The Antipodean live music venue and infamous drinking hole had recently been forced by local authorities to reduce its opening hours following growing neighbourhood complaints about rowdy late night revellers exiting the venue, with police increasingly ...continued on p3
...continued on p3
Australian government and opposition in ‘class warfare’ THE federal opposition has added means-testing the private health insurance rebate to a list of broken Labor promises, as the government accused Tony Abbott of preying on the misery of workers who have lost their jobs. Three Liberal frontbenchers - Joe Hockey, Julie Bishop and Greg Hunt
- were thrown out for an hour during a feisty question time in which both sides accused each other of “class warfare”. Opposition Leader Tony Abbott said Prime Minister Julia Gillard, when she was shadow health minister, had pledged to retain the private health insurance rebate as it stands.
But the government has introduced legislation - which is expected to pass with the support of the independents and Greens - to means-test the rebate for individuals earning more than $83,000 and families earning more than $166,000. Mr Abbott said there was a broader Labor agenda.
“The politics of envy. The politics of the class war,” Mr Abbott told parliament as he unsuccessfully attempted to suspend question time to censure the prime minister. “That belongs back in the 1970s ... and isn’t it interesting that it should be trotted out again by this prime minister who, when she is under
pressure, she goes back to the days of the old socialist forum?” Labor frontbencher Anthony Albanese told parliament it was the opposition leader who was launching a “class war”. “This is a guy who’s declared class war on working families on behalf of (mining magnates) Clive Palmer and
2 | News
14 February - 20 February 2012
Why the AFL would benefit from an English football-style system
n
It might sound like a completely novel concept but imagine a system where supporters of weaker clubs would have something to barrack for outside the boring AFL premiership race. Publisher: Bryce Lowry Editor: Tim Martin Production/Design: Tamzyn Brookson Australia Editor: Ashlea Maher Music Editor: Paul Judge Contributors: Shannon Crane, Kate Ausburn, Sara Newman, Justin Ng, Phill Browne, Kristy Kenny, Carmen Allan, Mario Hannah, Amy Fallon, Rose Callaghan, Lesley Slade, Simon Kleinig, Kris Griffiths, Guy Logan,
Nathan Motton, JP Breytenbach, Cameron Jenkins, Will Denton, Leigh Johnston, Lee Crossley, Shane Jones, Adrian Craddock, Liam Flanagan, Emily Banyard, Mel Edwards, Raquel Messi Advertising Manager: Dominic Young Directors: P Atherton, J Durrant N Durrant, R Phillips and A Laird Additional content:
WHO ARE WE? Australian Times is written and compiled by young Australian journalists living in the UK. Contributing on a volunteer basis, they are uniquely placed to reflect the interests, opinions and attitudes of our community. If you would like to join us, contact info@australiantimes.co.uk ADDRESS: Unit 7C, Commodore House Battersea Reach, London SW18 1TW TEL: 0845 456 4910 EMAIL: info@australiantimes.co.uk
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the hard word > NATHAN MOTTON
MUCH needs to be said for supporters of over a dozen AFL sides who each and every year turn up to games never really expecting to win. Supporters who year after year know very well they won’t feature in September and most certainly won’t get their hands on any silverware. The Hard Word admires you. It really does. We’ve all confronted the beginning of a season fearing the worst, in the knowledge that our side will at best only win a handful of games and should we win a few more, scrape into the final eight, only to be pummeled from pillar to post in the first elimination final. Much maligned Collingwood has won only two premierships since 1958. St Kilda has won only one premiership since it was founded in 1873. Over the past eleven years eight sides have secured the premiership cup. This might seem like quite a spread across the competition. Indeed it is. But truth be told each and every year the race for premiership glory is only ever between three sides at best. There should be another knockout competition played at some stage during the home-and-away season, with the 18 existing clubs competing for another cup. But it needs to be more than that. It should also include the 13 VFL sides. Yes it may only
Your Say On: Australians could be told to earn £31K or leave the UK
Why can’t Australia and New Zealand be given preferential treatment? We fought for Britain in two wars and so many of our people are the grandchildren of British people. Why can’t we come first in the queue? So many of our family members died fighting for and protecting Britain. We have the Union Jack on our flag and we are part of things still. Ian AustralianTimes.co.uk/news I don’t know any Australian that comes to the Uk with the intention of claiming benefits from the government. We come to work, travel and contribute to the country which we call our second home. Debbie AustralianTimes.co.uk/news They simply forgot that people came to do the works that British people can’t or don’t want to do, not because the
? What’s your view
Every day on …
be considered a ‘semi-professional’ league but it’s full of league players and the standard can often be as high as some of the rubbish the lower league sides produce week-in-weekout. Forget the AFL State of Origin. The concept was an enormous hit right up to the early nineties, when it was given the flick in 1999 because clubs weren’t releasing star players and crowd numbers had dwindled. The last time an interstate match was played was in 2008 when Victoria played against The Dream Time. For this scribe it was one of the most despicable displays of Australian Rules Football we had ever seen. Opposition players seemingly in awe of one another glided around the oval for four quarters, ignorant of the fact it was meant to be a competition. This is where the NRL State of Origin gets it pitch perfect. The NAB Cup too is a farce, merely a chance for sponsors to make a bit of money from advertising. The players and coaches couldn’t care less. For those unfamiliar with English football, it’s made up of a host of adjoining competitions, some not restricted to just English sides; the FA Cup, Europa League, Champions League, Premiership, League Cup and the Charity Shield to name a few. The FA Cup is an example of a similar system that could work in Australia. Teams from the Premier League, the Football League and
work is lucrative. And after 5 years, when they are more adapted to the work and the society, they are asked to leave. This is a silly idea that is of nobody’s interest! XG AustralianTimes.co.uk/news I left London, I moved back to Australia for a year and now live in Provence in grace. The qualify of life is better I’m being paid more if you would believe that, and the visas and administration is far more simple. If the uk goes through with this ultimately they are shooting themselves in the foot. It is already relatively unappealing as a long term destination. Funnily enough the idea that riches equates to social output is a large part of what is wrong with the country, as a cancer researcher in the uk I had to go through the same rigmarole as all else but for a salary of only 25K. Good luck UK, i hope you learn a hard lesson. Hugh AustralianTimes.co.uk/news I think it stinks. There’s no way I could earn £31,000 a year in my job in travel. The cost of living keeps going up, but the wages aren’t! Karen AustralianTimes.co.uk/news
the first five tiers of the National League compete against amateur clubs. Since 2000 six clubs have won the cup, yet on seven occasions the winners’ opponents have been relative minnows, including Millwall, Southampton and Portsmouth. Of course some of these competitions open themselves up to managers fielding weaker sides and assigning them less importance, but the FA Cup is the oldest existing club competition in the world and is considered a prestigious tournament. And yes all of these competitions are typically dominated by the bigger clubs but it’s the opportunity for smaller clubs to win it, for which they thrive. History dictates they won’t but that isn’t the point. A second cup in the AFL would bring millions of dollars in extra revenue every year. It would increase already ballooning television rights even further, and could allow a network without the rights to broadcast this cup exclusively. Less successful clubs would have the chance to play at the MCG in a grand final setting and fans across the country could find a new set of bragging rights. Instead of increasing the existing home-andaway season, shorten it and create a separate tournament. Why not give the poor souls constantly barracking aimlessly for their clubs something to cheer about. AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices
Damo be careful what you wish for…maaate Britain needs immigrants as they are the nonlazy ones, who do the ‘actual’ dirty work in Britain, hence why they are paid below £31K…and none of you complained before. Love to see how your Tory mates cope with cleaning their own toilets and taking their own children to kinder! JA AustralianTimes.co.uk/news I am an Australian earning more than £31k a year who has lived in the UK for almost 5 years. This country has benefited from me and yet I have had to continuously apply and pay for the privilege to contribute. This is a misguided policy by the Government to curb their immigration worries. Australians are, not on the whole, a contributing factor to this, and I feel that the Government will be the ones to miss on Aussie talent. Needless to say I will be returning to Australia where I do not have to pay for the privilege and where the country will once again benefit from my skills. Michelle AustralianTimes.co.uk/news
Share your comments on these and more stories online: AustralianTimes.co.uk
News | 3
AustralianTimes.co.uk
Rudd wants Oz to lead the world on reconciliation Continued from p1...
their own indigenous populations. “There’s a possibility we can on this question, if we get it right, become a new light on the hill around the world on how the first peoples of the world reconcile with settlers who came later,” Mr Rudd said, using a term made legendary by Labor prime minister Ben Chifley. “We have it within our collective intelligence and compassion to do just that.” Mr Rudd and Indigenous Affairs Minister Jenny Macklin accepted a wooden message stick with a set of replicated documents dating back to 1938 and extending to the 2008 apology, concealed inside. Mr Rudd picked up seven-year-old Victor Ebsworth-Hooper who clutched a boomerang, and later praised Australia’s young people for being “colour blind” and accepting of each other’s backgrounds and cultures. An online museum called Stolen Generations’ Testimonies went live on Monday with about 50 personal video stories. Film maker Melanie Hogan said the inspiration behind the project was
Steven Spielberg’s compilation of testimonies by Holocaust survivors. Gamilaroi woman Donna Meehan, from Coonamble in northwestern NSW, was among those who shared her story for the website. Ms Meehan was one of seven children taken from their mother. She was adopted by a migrant family and found a loving home in Newcastle but her lost identity brought her to the point of suicide. “I found my family when I was 28 and that was the start of my healing journey,” she said. “It’s a long way from the dusty track and a tin shack to the marble floors at the big house.” She gave Mr Rudd a copy of her autobiography. Jody Broun and Les Malezer, from the National Congress of Australia’s First Peoples, said despite the goodwill generated by the apology there were still questions to be settled. “Recommendations around compensation and adequate resourcing are still outstanding,” they said in a statement. - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/news
Farewell to an Aussie icon in London Continued from p1... being called on to deal with scuffles and other drunken behaviour. An online petition was mounted by ‘The Reddie’ faithful in an attempt to keep the cheap snakebites flowing late, but the Ealing Council had obviously had enough. The hit to the Redback Tavern’s takings as a result of the enforced earlier closing hours may turn out to be the fatal blow to the business which was already struggling from the recession that has hit the UK bars and pubs sector particularly hard. The Redback in Acton has been a mainstay of the Australian and New Zealander expat scene in London since first opening in 1993. News of the closure lead to an outpouring of affection on the
Redback’s Facebook page from the Antipodean community in London and those back at home with fond memories of wilder times. “Cheers Reddie, thanks for all the great memories, sad day,” posted Michael Streeter. “9 years later and it was still my fave bar. Gutted beyond belief. I was even celebrating my birthday there on Saturday. Met so many friends there, gutted xx,” commented Jo Marron. “So, so saddened by the loss of my favourite London burrow :( the only place with lunatics and good live music combined,” wrote Vanessa Flood. The closure has already earned a ‘Hitler Downfall’ parody video – Redback: The Downfall. Watch it now AustralianTimes.co.uk/news
Abbott attacks as Gillard slides further Continued from p1... Gina Rinehart,” Mr Albanese said. “This is an opposition that comes in here day after day to defend the entrenchment of privilege rather than the enhancing of opportunity. “They have a born to rule attitude.” Mr Abbott said the next attack on families would be cutting private school funding via the Gonski review, to be released on 20 February. The prime minister earlier in parliament accused the opposition of a “campaign of fear and misrepresentation” over the state of the economy and job losses, saying Mr Abbott was using sacked workers as “political playthings”. Later Ms Gillard had a meeting with Australian Workers Union officials and employees from Alcoa’s struggling Point Henry smelter in Victoria, as the company reviewed the plant’s viability in the face of falling
alumina prices, a high Australian dollar and rising input costs. The prime minister gave no commitments but said she would work with the company, unions and the Victorian government during the five-month review and wanted to ensure manufacturers had a “strong future”. The meeting came as a Newspoll showed Ms Gillard falling nine points behind Mr Abbott in terms of credibility as an economic manager. Her economic rating has fallen by 14 percentage points since August 2010 from 48 per cent to 34 per cent, while Mr Abbott has gained three points to 43 per cent. An Essential poll found 47 per cent of voters believed she wouldn’t be in the role at the next election, including 22 per cent of Labor voters. - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/news
4 | Voices
14 February - 20 February 2012
Slang ie s s u A o t e id A Gu PART 2 n
Last week we gave you Part 1 of our A Guide to Aussie Slang. There were some rippers in there like ‘drongo’, ‘Banana bender’ and ‘cactus’. This week they get even better! So enjoy the nostalgia and that familiar nasal twang as you remember some of the beaut sayings from back home. Don’t forget to check out next week’s edition for Part 3 or head online for all the action so far at AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices
E
Earbashing: nagging, non-stop chatter Esky: cooler-box for drinks and food
Get a dog up ya: have a drink Gobful, give a: to abuse verbally (“Merv Hughes was an intimidating bowler as he used to give batsmen a gobful”) Good onya: good for you, well done Goon: boxed wine
G
G’Day: hello! Gabba: Wooloongabba – the Brisbane cricket ground
n
The staple meal at a good pub or restaurant on a Sunday in London has to be a roast. But our Aussie chef and main man at Claridge’s Restaurant tells us we should be a little more adventurous when choosing our roast option
chris’s
kitchen > CHRIS ARK
SUNDAY roasts no longer need to be the usual beef, lamb, loin of pork or chicken options. In London we are seeing more and more unusual cuts of meats coming out of commercial kitchens as a tasty (and unexpected) Sunday special. Pork belly, lamb breast, flank, hanger steak and cheeks (just to name a few) are what’s called ‘second cuts’ and are becoming much more common as a roast option. Butchers gave birth to this name as the primary cuts of meat were the ones usually sold to the public, with the remaining joints not even given a second look. Hence the name ‘second cut’. But what we discovered was the butchers were taking these cuts home and enjoying the best cuts of meat to themselves. Couple this with other
cultures developing ways to cook these cuts after enduring harsh times in the past and you have an exciting new addition to the Sunday roast menu. All that was required was a little knowledge on how to handle and cook these second cuts. Today, butchers can’t get enough of these cuts to sell, let alone keep for themselves! A general rule of thumb for cooking second cuts is that the joint will require a slow cooking process - curing and tenderising before cooking. These cuts are taken from the slow moving muscle section of the animal. The fibres of the meat are long and tough and tend to come out this way if not cooked properly. But when cooked correctly, they will out shine the first class cuts hands down. We all have memories of our first taste of slow cooked pork belly (this week’s recipe) or that sticky sweet stew that was cooked for hours on end. And now I’m going to share
with you the simplicity of how to recreate that memory! Most cuts will have a good layer of fat covering the meat. Don’t cut this off, trim it yes, but keep it there, this fat is full of flavor, moisture and goodness. A good roasting tray, roasting rack and tin foil is all that is needed for this week’s recipe. And it’s so simple it will make your friends forever jealous. So let’s get cracking (or is that crackling?)! Hit the butcher shop and grab a 1.5kg section of pork belly. It may look on the large side for two or four mates, but it will shrink during the cooking process. Leftovers are fantastic cold, chopped up and thrown into an Asian salad. Hmmm pork and plum sauce! Serve with roasties (roast potatoes), purple sprouting broccoli which is back on the shelves this week or some tasty black cabbage. So let’s get started, enjoy and happy cooking!
Chris’s slow cooked pork belly
F
Face, off one’s: drunk (“He was off his face by 9pm”) Fair dinkum: true, genuine Fair go: a chance (“Give the bloke a fair go”) Fair suck of: exclamation of wonder, awe, disbelief Feral: disgusting FIGJAM: “F*ck I’m Good; Just Ask Me”. Nickname for people who have a high opinion of themselves. Flake out: drop out of an activity, usually last-minute Flamin’ galah: fool, silly person. Named after the bird of the same name because of its antics and the noise it makes. Flick, give the: get rid of it or him/her (“I couldn’t stand his rudeness any longer, so I gave him the flick”) Footy: Australian Rules football, rugby league, rugby union Franger: condom Fremantle Doctor: the cooling afternoon breeze that arrives in Perth from the direction of the satellite town of Fremantle (Freo Frog in a sock, going off like a: going crazy, usually with reference to a party (“We went to Oktoberfest and the Hofbrau tent went off like a frog in a sock mate!”)
Time for a good roasting
What you need: Grog: liquor, beer (“Bring your own grog”) Grouse (adj.): great, terrific, very good (“David Warner’s innings was grouse”) Grundies: undies, underwear (from Reg Grundy, a television personality)
H
Heaps: a lot (“Thanks heaps”, or “Bruce earned heaps of money in Perth”) Hook: to buy a round of drinks (“I’ll get them in lads, it’s my hook”) Hotel: most pubs are known as or attached to hotels
I
Icy pole, ice block: popsicle, lollipop
J
Jackaroo: a male trainee station manager or station hand (a station is a big farm/grazing property) Jillaroo: a female trainee station manager or station hand Joey: baby kangaroo Journo: journalist Jumbuck: sheep
K
Kelpie: Australian sheepdog originally bred from Scottish collie Kindie: kindergarten Knock: to criticise Knock back: refuse or reject (“I got knocked back from that job I interviewed for”)
lude Compiled by Rob F
• 1.5-2kg pork belly with rind • Maldon sea salt flakes • Cracked pepper • Two pinches of Coriander seeds • Two pinches of cumin seeds • Good slash of olive oil
What to do:
• Pre heat the oven to the highest setting. • Pat the belly dry with some paper towel. • Take all the herbs and spices and place them in a plastic bag for crushing. Place the bag on a cutting board and bash with the base of a small saucepan until the spices are cracked. • Rub the belly with a splash of oil. Grab the spice mix and rub them into the score marks and both sides
ASK YOU R BUTCHER TO SCORE T HE SKIN FOR YOU of the belly. • Put the belly on a roasting rack and tray skin side up and place it in the oven. • Roast on this high heat for 25 minutes until the skin blisters and crisps up to that lovely crackling stage. • Turn down the oven 165 degrees and roast for two and a half hours. To test if the belly is cooked, grab a spoon and poke it with the handle.
The handle should go in without any resistance. • Remove and cover with the tin foil and allow it to rest for 20 minutes in a warm place. • Place on a large plate with a serving folk. The belly should be so soft your mates can folk servings onto their plate without any problems!
Voices | 5
AustralianTimes.co.uk
Nice to snow you By Larissa Clare
FORGET the state of the European Union. Don’t even bother about last weekend’s football scores. Disregard Bieber. Fashion Week. TfL... Well, maybe not TfL. Because if there’s one thing you’re guaranteed to get a response to, it’s the statement that ‘apparently it’s meant to snow today’. If, like me, you hate the cold and think that snow just offers unparalleled chances to fall over more often and have it hurt more than usual, you groan. “Really?” you say, anxiously trying to peer at the sky. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s cold enough, but...” You’re later found in the kitchen mauling the underside of your shoes with a fork in an attempt to give them some traction. To other, more recent Antipodean arrivals, impending snow means it’s time to cue the excited happy dance. “Yes!” they exclaim in unison. “I haven’t seen ‘snow’ since my family tried to go skiing at Thredbo in 2007 and we kept getting stuck on woodchips! I’m going to make snowmen and go tobogganing on the Heath and find Santa Clause!” This batch can be found kicking snow around delightedly until they realise that snow is not only cold, but wet, and
they then spend the rest of their wintery wonderland uploading pictures of their snowmen onto Facebook, waiting for all their friends (sporting tans from Laneway festival) to comment on them and be totes jealous. Rich Londoners usually just roll their eyes. “Great, just great. How am I meant to drive to Brussels/the Cotswolds/my cottage in the Swiss Alps now?” Expect to spend Monday morning hearing all about how positively hairraising the drive back was, darling. And really, mummy and daddy should get the council to look into the state of the roads. Indeed! Then there’s every other Londoner. And their reaction depends completely and utterly on how close the approaching snow is to the weekend. If it is due to snow over the weekend, TfL comes in for a blistering tongue lashing due to its inability to cope with a dusting of flakes on the rails. If it’s Sunday evening, they promptly drop to their knees and pray it will be thick enough to be ‘snowed in’, even if they are on the Victoria Line (the only tube line to be completely underground, fact, and thus technically impervious to being snowed in). So while London has had one dusting of powder, there is apparently more in the works. But whichever bracket you think you fall into, prepare to be
Finding a job in London…
surprised. The thing about snow is that no matter how much you talk about it and bemoan the inconvenience it causes, there is something magical about the settling of the world into its white blanket. There is a new hush, a quiet stillness, an exciting crispness to the air. There is nothing quite like making virgin footprints in the snow. I even discovered that I’m not averse to taking off my well-tractioned shoes and doing a bit of a barefoot snow dance in the back courtyard at three in the morning. It was magical. And so must have been all the vodka I’d consumed. Have you got a London snow tale? Tell us online... AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices
Heading down to Chinatown n
There is one thing that you’re certain to find in almost any capital city across the world - a Chinatown. London is no different and our resident explorer headed down to the ‘English version’ of Chinatown to tick #25 off her London’s Top 100 list bron in
the don BRONWYN SPENCER
AFTER seeing Chinese New Year celebrations stories crop up everywhere I had a sudden inspiration (ok – it was actually a craving) to go and see Chinatown and have a Chinese meal. Located right next to Soho and the Theatre District, London’s Chinatown was founded in the 1950s and has been booming ever since. This wasn’t going to be my first visit to Chinatown, as I had walked through it many a time on my way elsewhere and even in my first week in London I had grabbed a £6 all you can eat smorgasbord for dinner – as any stingy backpacker does. This time however I opted for a more thorough option and booked a table at a recommended Dim Sum restaurant with a group of friends. I met my friends at Leicester Square before walking up Shaftsbury Avenue where the red gates and hanging lanterns lead you in the right direction. Even on a Monday evening the pedestrian streets were bustling with many groups of people pausing outside different restaurants trying to read the menus. The type of restaurants you can find along here vary from the £6 MSG filled buffet kind of places to the super fancy and elite restaurants that are booked out. There are also different kinds of Asian restaurants in Chinatown so if you’re looking for a good place for Sushi you can find that too. For us it was a middle of the range Dim Sum restaurant called Dumplings Legend
that was recommended by a friend. Once we arrived we were seated at a table with a large Lazy Susan (the raised spinning table top) and quickly went about ordering some Tiger beer and dim sum for entrees. After we tucked into our steamed pork buns from the little bamboo steamers we quickly moved onto our mains (yum sweet and sour pork!). The meals were delicious and definitely satisfied my Chinese food craving. I would also have to say one of the best things about this place was that even with drinks and a two course meal the bill was still really cheap – so even now the not so stingy backpacker can afford it. After dinner we wandered through the streets to walk off all our food and found lots of little Chinese shops
packed with Asian snacks and Chinese herbs and spices. I’m not much of a cook but if you wanted to find the perfect ingredient for a stir-fry or soup this is the place to find it. Like many things on the Top 100 list, this won’t be my last visit to Chinatown – hopefully next year I can be organised enough to go for the Chinese New Year celebrations that inspired this visit. AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices
By Larissa Clare AFTER I first moved to London almost two years ago, I mused to my friends about the difficulties of finding a job in this town. Now, many months on, the scene still hasn’t changed. I have changed though, in the sense that I’m now a beaten down, sorrowful and egoless version of myself. That’s what three weeks of unemployment did to me. And I know that in this day and economic climate, three weeks is nothing. A drop in a pan that is crowded with fresh-faced graduates and seasoned professionals alike. While endlessly refreshing Twitter – I mean Guardian jobs - I commented to my housemate (equal parts applying for post-doctoral fellowships and procrastinating) that it was apparently the worst unemployment in the UK since WWII. I had taken great comfort in this fact, and used it to counteract my mamma’s suggestion that I walk door-to-door offering my CV (‘I’m looking for a job in media or publishing mum. Not a summer scooping icecream cones. And besides, it’s not my fault, it’s the worst unemployment levels since WWII.’ She correctly told me I was a lazy sot). Housemate, in his fearfully intellectual way, said that my shiny little fact just wasn’t true. That we can’t measure unemployment so simply. That these days most people will spend a certain amount of their lives unemployed, added up over a career, while job hunting or something else. That in WWII time, people mostly worked one job for 70 years, dying with their hands on the tiller or whatever. He said a whole lot of other things too, but I mostly tuned them out, preferring to cling to my little fact (quoted from a friend, and apparently sourced from The Independent) because it justified my Kardashian-watching, Twitterrefreshing, icecream-for-breakfast existence while being one of those ‘unemployed’. I did not deal well with the silent rejections from my numerous job applications. I dealt slightly better with politely worded rejections, as it at least indicated that my CVs weren’t covered in anthrax. I was offered a few temp roles in my three weeks of circling the drain. I let them go, as I was determined to hang in there for the proper job. The real job. The one that would get me some experience
in London, preparing me for the kind of stellar job that would be so fabulous I wouldn’t mind the fact that I was back in Australia, my visa at an end. But? Nada. Nothing… As I watched my pounds dribble into pence, I decided I’d take the next role offered, no matter if it was for the most boring company. Which is what I have pretty much done. I am in a PA role in a financial company in Canary Wharf-ish area. And I have found out what is second worst to being unemployed. It’s being underemployed. Here I am with my smug degree. I’ve studied hard, and worked hard. I know that I’m quick, learn new systems easily, and have a whole bunch of creative energy that I’m dying to put into some kind of collaborative team effort. I get a kick out of doing a job well. Out of sending ideas out there to become a reality. Of pushing deadlines, and juggling commitments. Of being utilised. Of having my opinion count for something. Instead, I am currently babysitting someone else’s Outlook calendar. I manage meeting requests. I take coffee orders. I bind things and I print things. I get lunch for those who are in back-to-back meetings from 8 am til 6 pm. I arrive at 9 and am ready to leave by 11, but wait until 5. I feel like I do so little that I don’t deserve to take home the hourly rate that I do. I hate it. I hate coming home and answering the ‘How was your day?’ question with ‘Meh, nothing.’ I hate it because I’ve realised I am not content with being underemployed. But neither am I content to sit in the flat for days on end, drinking black coffee because I have no reason to leave the house to get milk. I’ve been trying the shitty job thing for nearly two years now and I’m well over it. I’m undecided about whether having no job is better than having a shitty one: Black coffee-fuelled, failure-laden Kardashian sessions or mindnumbing boredom recategorising my post-it notes? I do like drinking though, which the shitty job allows me to do. So I guess shitty job? Damn circle of life... Have you been in Larissa’s shoes? Comment online... AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices
6 | Entertainment
14 February - 20 February 2012
Grinspoon – unplugged, jet-lagged and in London n
Phil Jamieson & Pat Davern (Grinspoon) @ Walkabout Temple, 31 January
Review By Larissa Clare AEROPLANE-ISSUE toothbrush in pocket, and sleep mask on head, finally Phil Jamieson quits wandering around the front of the small stage at Walkabout Temple, and joins bandmate Pat Davern on stage. Having recently been given a makeover, I am pleasantly surprised at how clean the Walkie is, and with wood panelled floors, large communal tables, and a cavernous ceiling, it rather reminds me of a shearing shed (though thankfully without the smell). In what I guess can only be a tribute to the iconic Australian beach culture, an enormous poster of a surfer ‘gnarleying’ down a wave in brilliant sunshine is tacked up behind the stage. In complete contrast to this, it’s Tuesday night in London in late January and it takes us ten minutes just to remove our coats. As we slowly warm up, I am even tempted to keep my mittens on so my hands don’t get cold holding my beer. The Walkabout crowd gradually thickens until all the tables are filled. There are a few suspiciously rat-tailed wall leaners crowding the bar near the stage, who seem to have pledged their allegiance in 1997 to the antics
of Phil, and haven’t updated their haircuts since. Though plagued by sound issues (we were all on a first name basis with the poor sound guy), a stripped down, acoustic Grinspoon still gives a pretty good show. While some songs seemed lacklustre compared to the kicking full band versions, others become solid bluesy tunes such as Phil accompanying himself on harmonica in the likes of ‘Better of Alone’. Little perks, such as a rather good alt country cover of La Roux’s ‘Bulletproof’ met the Grinspoon we all know and love as Phil called for tequila before ripping into ‘Hard Act To Follow’. Old favourites such as ‘More Than You Are’ and ‘Chemical Heart’ showed that their sideways step into more radio-friendly tunes did them no disservice as certain members of the crowd air-guitared and headmoshed with more enthusiasm than most acoustic gigs ever see. Some neat lyrical inspiration saw Phil serenading the security guards as ‘cranky pants/for not letting us dance’ after they hauled two kids off the dancefloor. Transition then into a stomping ‘Just Ace’ and a whole bunch of circa 2002 Big Day Out spirit pulled half the crowd onto the dancefloor in
Steve Hughes has got some Big Issues n
Steve Hughes @ Leicester Square Theatre, 4 February
#Australia
@jonkudelka If The Great Australia Day Kerfuffle was a race riot, Australia has pissweak race riots. Casualty: one shoe (returned) @AusMigrations Job prospects for international students graduating in Australiacontinue to improve to highest levels since 2008. @Vegemite_Kraft There is an Earl of Sandwich in the UK. Should Australia elect an Earl of VEGEMITE? :S @freddurst Australia- very excited about seeing all of you in 2 weeks! I’ve been under the weather for weeks now, but getting better.#bronchitisblows
united rebellion. The security guards gave up and Grinspoon bowed out victorious on ‘DCX3’. Overall, it was a neat little trip down a musical memory lane. This modest acoustic set was rather like hearing
the sea through a sea shell – Phil and Pat giving us an echo of the Grinners of by-gone days (maybe at a Brisbane Big Day Out, with that surf poster in the background) – just quieter, softer, and a little bit fuzzy on the sound.
AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment
Do you know an outstanding Australian woman in the UK?
@jaraparilla We the people of Australia demand Julian #Assange be brought home and #WikiLeaks be allowed to work in peace @mohanstatsman The last time India won an ODI in Australia without Sachin Tendulkar was against Zimbabwe at Adelaide, Jan 24, 2004 (won by 3 runs) Check out what we’re following today on AustralianTimes.co.uk and follow us on Twitter @AustralianTimes
What’s On Holly Throsby 14 Feb @ The Lexington, Islington
Review by Hannah Carrodus TO the delight of the audience at a packed Leicester Square Theatre last week, Australian comedian Steve Hughes explored the stupidity of Western governments and the world in his entertaining, and often poignant, show Big Issues. In his irreverent manner, Hughes talked about serious issues including stolen land, nuclear weapons, Chinese medicine and why hotels no longer provide a toilet brush in the bathroom. The former Aussie heavy metalist’s ideas were thought provoking and political yet delivered in a casual, albeit crass, style. And many of his ideas came back to one central theme: government and corporate control of the individual. For instance, Hughes talked about how Britain is on the way to becoming a cashless society. A seemingly harmless idea at first except for the fact that every transaction we make will now be traced and monitored. “How will people pay for their illegal drugs?” Hughes pondered. His animated reenactments were also very funny; with Hughes vividly describing bizarre things that had happened to him in his life and seamlessly making the audience feel they were there. Hughes’ description of the confusion he and his housemate felt when they were being robbed was particularly
What we’re following
Cloud Control 17 Feb @ Electric Ballroom The Jezabels 22 Feb @ Koko Bleeding Knees Club 23 Feb @ Old Blue Last enjoyable. “You’ve chosen the wrong house mate,” Hughes told the thief. “There’s nothing of any value here except some heavy metal CDs and I’m guessing you’re into hip hop.” And while Hughes was intelligent and insightful, New Zealand comedian Sully O’Sullivan, the supporting act, was just as entertaining. Delivered straight-faced, O’Sullivan’s energetic style was shamelessly shocking. The audience would think they would know where a joke was going when –BAM- he’d suddenly drop a hysterical one-liner that seemed to come from nowhere. His timing and wit were impeccable! I particularly loved his routine about New Zealanders’ affinity for sheep. Both performers were very funny and I highly recommend their show. Don’t miss Steve Hughes at London’s Leicester Square Theatre on 5 - 6 April
AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment
Gotye 29 Feb @ SheBu Empire Qantas Australian Woman of the Year in the UK Award 2012 8 Mar @ The Langham London Australian Pink Floyd 24 Mar @ Hammersmith Apollo Parkway Drive 7 April @ Indig02 Tracer 24 April @ Islington O2 Academy Bogan Bingo Every Thursday @ The Underdog, Clapham Common
For full details... ...and more Aussie gigs go to: AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment
Entertainment | 7
AustralianTimes.co.uk
Super Bowl Butler, country Oz and the new Sounds on the block music from the
motherland > PAUL JUDGE
John Butler’s unofficial Super Bowl moment
Super Bowl, such a spectacular occasion! And we’re not even talking about the game. Half-time is where the real action is at. In between Madonna flipping around the stage and M.I.A flipping the bird, the highly anticipated half-time commercials are aired. Why get so worked up about some commercials you ask? Well they’re no ordinary ads. A 30 second spot will cost a company around £3 million and the budgets for them would equal a small-budget movie. One of the ads this year was by yoghurt brand Dannon to promote their new Greek style flavour. Keen eared Australian fans of musician John Butler noticed the similarity of the backing tune to one of his popular tunes Zebra (the ba ba bada da chorus one). It was just as much surprise for Butler and his management who hadn’t given permission for his song to be used. Sure it might be a coincidence the writers of the ad wrote a catchy little tune without ever hearing John Butler’s version but it’s too close to be a mistake. Butler and management are seeking legal advice over a possible plagiarism and use of his music without permission. And to make it worse, the star of the ad was former Full House star John Stamos. Not someone you might want your folk music associated with.
Country areas taking the lead
Did you grow up in a country town? I did. Wagga Wagga to be exac,t in New South Wales. There’s a lot to be said for growing up in the country and I loved it. However one area we always lagged behind was live music. Touring bands don’t always make a beeline for these areas and heaven help you if you were underage. I remember Frenzal Rhomb playing at an underage festival when I was 15 and it being one of the best days of my life so far. So it’s with particular pride this week that we herald the Groovin’ the Moo festival lineup for 2012. With many large festivals struggling with costs and falling crowds, this touring regional festival has announced its best lineup yet. Public Enemy, The Maccabees and the Kaiser Chiefs headline the international artists and the local acts include Hilltop Hoods, 360 and Matt Corby. Unfortunately Wagga isn’t on the Moo schedule but crowds in Bunbury, Maitland, Bendigo, Canberra (okay it’s the capital but it’s still regional enough) and Townsville all get to enjoy this awesome show in their home towns. Take that city slickers!
One sure way one to beat the cold
There are plenty of tips around to stave off hypothermia and the snow this UK winter - from thermals, soups and stews to just simply staying inside. However Motherland says ‘screw that’, I’m going on holiday to where it’s sunny. And the sunny destination? Where else but the motherland? This means I’ll be having a break from London, the tube and unfortunately you guys… But here at Motherland
GET YOUR OWN, DANNON: Has a US yoghurt giant just gone and stolen John Butler’s song for their Super Bowl commercial? Have a look at AustralianTimes.co.uk and decide for yourself! offices we’ve worked up a treat for you while I’m away sipping cold beer and listening to hot Australian music. Someone else is going to look after your musical needs. Someone special!
Introducing our special guests: Backpack Sounds
The reins for the next month have been handed over to the motley crew at Backpack Sounds. Who are
these guys you might ask? They’re the Aussie boys in London behind a new website dedicated to promoting Australian music in the UK. They’ve got all the live Aussie gigs in UK and Europe plus new Australian music can be found at Backpacksounds.com I won’t go into it too much because next week Nick from Backpack Sounds will give you all the good
juice on the site, some Australian music tips and an insight into the guest writers they’ve gathered for Music from the Motherland. I believe the guests include musicians and industry folk who will give some insight into Australians in the UK music scene. Hope you enjoy it; I’ve got to go pack my bag and my suncream! See you in a month
AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment
8 | Entertainment
14 February - 20 February 2012
Cloud Control to Major Tim n
From all appearances, Heidi and Ulrich Lenffer seem just like any other Australians living and loving the London dream. But these aren’t two ordinary Aussie expats. They’re one half of the skyrocketing successful Australian musical quartet that is Cloud Control. Australian Times Editor TIM MARTIN sat down with the Blue Mountains-born brother and sister ahead of their huge NME Awards Show gig this Friday and chatted about everything from Aussie fans and breaking into Europe to sky diving and family fights on tour. You guys have been based in London for almost a year now. How’s the whole European experience been for Cloud Control? Heidi: Europe’s been amazing! [Turns to Ulrich] Would you say Europe met expectations or exceeded them? Ulrich: Probably exceeded. We’ve seen a lot of Europe that I never thought I would see. Small towns that you wouldn’t usually go to. H: Like Numburgen. And Utrecht. All these names you don’t associate with the mother name of a country. It’s kind of cool - getting the insiders perspective of a country. U: And we’ve been touring a lot, we toured the album. We did a whole bunch of European shows, played London like four or five times. We’ve done video clips. Basically just things a normal band does in Europe. H: And we went sky diving! Jumped out of a plane! We risked our lives for music and art. How has the musical journey been for you guys so far? H: It’s been a slow burn, that’s for sure. Because we’ve never been like a hyped ban. Which is nice. We’re the tortoise. Many hares have passed us and we’re just slow and steady. We’re only just starting to write our second album and it’s been like what, six years in a band. But it’s been really nice because every time we play a show we really feel like you can see our fan count going up one or two. So we just work hard on the live show front, that’s how we connect with people. It’s really cool, we always hang out at the merch desk after a show so we can talk to the people
who have travelled. One couple drove six hours across Germany to come see our show. It blew us away. U: [Laughs] Germans are whack. H: Dedicated music lovers those Germans. Really impressive. But yeah, we do like to keep that personal touch as much as possible. Do you think being brother and sister in a band has helped the journey? H: I think it has helped it, that’s a good point, don’t you think so? [Looks at Ulrich] U: Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it – it’s definitely helped. The way I’d put it is it’s just the difference of having to spend a whole heap of time in the car with a stranger or just someone that...it just takes away that level of awkwardness because it’s your sister. So it’s alright, you can just do whatever. H: Yeah the other boys might have a different take on the matter but it’s not like we fight or anything... U: And if we do it’s stupid and they just look at us and go, ‘shut up guys’. And we’re just like ‘alright, sorry, give us a minute, we’re just doing our sibling thing’. How’s it been coming from a tiny town in the Blue Moutains just outside of Sydney to being based in London? U: All of us were living in Sydney for three or four years before we moved here. If we’d come straight from the mountains to London, different story. But you know Sydney and London are comparable on many levels. But obviously in terms of music it’s just
a much more densely populated city with so many more venues and so many more bands, so many more opportunities. So it’s been pretty impressive. You hear of all these bands coming out of London and you get to be amongst them and you realise it’s actually a thriving kind of, not competitive, but healthy industry in general. Have you got quite a fanbase of expat Aussies over here? H: Yeah! I think there was quite a lot at the Scala show. U: But they’re not crazy, they don’t follow us or stalk us! [Laughs] Which is good. H: But then on the last tour it was nice to see people turning out to see our shows in little places like Exeter that we’d never been to. Managing to fill a room there with enthusiastic fans, it’s nice to play to British people as opposed to just Australians. We love our Australian fans but coming over here it’s nice to win the hearts of people who don’t come from our side of the world. 2011 was a huge year for Cloud Control, kicked off with you guys winning the Australian Music Prize for your album Bliss Release. How was it to be recognised with such a prestigious award? U: Yeah it was pretty good! I’m actually a judge this year so I got to see the whole process of listening to the hundreds of albums that get sent in... H: And now you appreciate the prize more, right? U: So much more, just because it’s
CLOUD CONTROL: (L-R) Heidi Lenffer, Ulrich Lenffer, Jeremy Kelshaw and Alister Wright are Cloud Control, the Aussies putting London in a spin. the ultimate ... I answered in an interview the other day when they asked ‘describe how you feel about it’. You know when to talk to your friends and they say ‘what’s your goal in your career’ and you say, ‘I want to be recognised by my peers for excellence and so on’, that’s exactly what the prize was. All your peers saying ‘yes, that was a good album’, so it’s pretty special!
of is. It’s the end of this whole stage. We’ve been working hard for it – it’s the biggest room we will have played on our own show because the last one we did was 900 at Scala. U: It’s going to be a good bookend I think because from there on it’s just new album, new album. Sitting down, writing, recording. The next time we play in London it’ll be with new songs.
This Friday you have your amazing NME Awards Show gig before you head back into ‘hibernation’ to write and record your second album. This gig must seem like a pinnacle to your time in London so far? H: It’s interesting you put it like the pinnacle of all of our work – it kind
No doubt those new songs will be just as good, if not better, than their music which has already skyrocketed them into the clouds. Don’t miss out on Cloud Control‘s performance at Camden’s Electric Ballroom on Friday 17 February
AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment
The Aussie inspiring people for life n
Renowned personal development author and presenter Michael Domeyko Rowland tells NATHAN MOTTON about his upcoming seminar in London, working with Fergie and the key to a lasting relationship. MICHAEL Domeyko Rowland is on an unyielding mission. “People sit in a narrow band of their awareness and mosey through life hoping to keep out of trouble and get by with as little effort as possible,” he says eagerly. Three years ago he released Being in Heaven. Having grown up in the industry, this was Rowland’s feature film about getting more out of life. He wrote, directed and starred in the film, eager to “alert anyone who is interested to the reality of how to live in a new way, with a totally different understanding of what is possible”. The father of two has been on the personal development trail for many years, releasing countless CDs, DVDs and one acclaimed book. His bestselling Absolute Happiness was released in 1995 and has sold over 80,000 copies
in Australia. The self-help book seeks to lead its readers to a life of ‘complete fulfillment’. He says the idea refers to the “state of the superconcious... it is defined by a tremendously increased perception, bliss and ecstasy and various higher powers of the mind”. “It is something that is available for anyone (but) to have that kind of experience requires you to get a proper handle on your life, and most importantly awaken your heart,” he muses deeply. Rowland maintains the idea of ‘total fulfillment’ is achievable in a society driven by credit and the constant need for material items. “You need a plan to create the money you need so that you can have a passive income that gives you enough to live comfortably. That is actually the great secret of success for
this kind of superconscious life.” On relationships he says: “make your relationship the number one experience of your life. Make yourself into a loving being and stay away from expressing negative emotion. Improve your behaviours and become very kind and generous.” He admits however that it is extremely difficult initially to harness the mind, to control it in a way that is conducive to personal development. “It (the mind) just chatterboxes on... the real secret is not in trying to stop your thought processes, but learning to direct your attention... don’t get trapped in its wanderings.” In 1996 he was asked to meet with ‘Fergie’, Duchess of York, following her much publicised divorce from Prince Andrew. “She invited my wife and I to her
home, where we taught her some techniques over a three week period, to turn her life around. She was in a terrible position with the divorce and huge financial pressures. “She was very committed to the work and did extremely well. I taught her about the structure of the personality according to Drs Hal and Sidra Stone.” Rowland has spoken to almost a quarter-of-a-million people worldwide and will this weekend
speak with three other life coaches in London at Inspiring People For Life. “Life is a consciousness game. The more conscious you are, the more fulfilling your life will be. Use every single moment and aspect of your life as an opportunity to become more conscious.” Inspiring People For Life will be held at the Royal Geographical Society on 19 February
Entertainment | 9
AustralianTimes.co.uk
ecial p s y a D ’s e n ti n le V Three of London’s most iconic restaurants to impress this Valentine’s Day n
Looking for somewhere to seriously impress that special someone on Valentine’s Day? How about pushing the boat out a bit further than your local pizza joint and sweeping them into one of these more upscale city establishments. KRIS GRIFFITHS finds that sometimes it’s worth splashing out a bit extra for the more memorable experience. And he guarantees these three iconic eateries rarely fail to deliver, least of all on 14 February ...
Pearl
> 252 High Holborn, WC1V 7EN > www.pearl-restaurant.com The aptly-named Pearl is an immense twinkly space sited at a former banking hall, decorated with trails of handstrung pearls hanging from fittings and chandeliers. Marble columns, walnut tables and a specially-crafted wine cellar, taking pride of place in the dining-room, all combine with the pearly decorations to create maximum ‘wow’ factor. There’s still a feeling of intimacy though, with subtly lit tables for two tucked away at the sides where you can fully enjoy the artful seasonallychanging French menu with an Asian accent, created by executive chef Jun Tanaka at his signature restaurant. His trademark five-course tasting menu is a pièce de résistance, preluded with intricate hors d’oeuvres and complemented by highlights of the award-winning wine list featuring 200+ wines from the visible walk-in cellar, at least 40 of which are available by the glass. The service really spoils you and the atmosphere is hushed but humming. Perfect for a seductive splurge!
Quaglino’s
> 16 Bury Street, SW1Y 6AJ > www.quaglinos-restaurant.co.uk This prototypical ‘society restaurant’ was one of London’s most famous in its ritzy 1930s heyday, and has cemented its status in more recent decades by welcoming rock stars and royalty down its grand staircases. Today, it still feels as if one has entered a timeloop when descending the stairs, back to its buzzing halcyon days, soundtracked by a live jazz band playing from the upstairs bar. The dining room itself is pretty dramatic, retaining its grandeur with painted columns, crustacea altars and rich decor colours. The menu boasts sophisticated bistro classics, fresh oysters from the crustacea counter, and an extensive wine list that can be simplified for your taste by the inhouse sommelier. The waiting staff on the whole are attentive while unobtrusive. For afterwards, the mezzaninelevel cocktail bar is a destination in its own right, where from a comfier banquette you can continue imbibing the atmosphere of the restaurant below with your nightcap.
Valentine’s Special: Valentine’s Special: An exclusive five-course menu, including a middle course between starter and main, and a pre-dessert. £95 with champagne.
A bespoke three-course menu offering exceptional value at £55, twinned with a special ‘Love & Lust’ cocktail menu to enhance the mood. A pianist will be gently tinkling throughout the evening.
OXO Tower Brasserie
> OXO Tower Wharf, Barge House St, SE1 9PH > www.harveynichols.com/oxotower-london-brasserie London views don’t get much better than the panorama from the tall windows of the riverside OXO Tower, incorporating the City in the East to Westminster at the West, and St Paul’s Cathedral sitting nobly in between. The sounds of understated live jazz nicely harmonize with the sights, with a female vocalist and piano accompaniment enlivening Sunday nights. Its seasonal menus have a global outlook and are prepared in an impressive open-plan kitchen. Grey-blue contemporary tables in the airy restaurant space further enhance the feeling of dining in the sky - al-fresco on the terrace during the warmer months is definitely something to pencil into your to-do list. Finally, the service is exemplary: formal but convivial, and expect three or four waiters, each with different jobs, to attend to your table throughout your visit. Resist from delivering any OXO-themed puns though (gravy train, taking stock, etc) as they’ve heard it all before!
Valentine’s Special: OXO’s Vegas Valentine’s evening certainly sounds entertaining, complete with Vegas ‘wedding chapel’ and a live performance from (Chinese) Elvis himself!
Matt Parker: You’ve a 0.000043% chance of dying during this show n
The self confessed purveyor of ‘nerdy comedy’, Aussie comic Matt Parker tells NATHAN MOTTON how the subject of death can be funny and why British children are struggling to cope with maths.
“IF you take three to the power of three, three to the power of three, four to the power of four, five to the power of five... add those together, the total still equals 3,345. That’s why it’s my favourite number.” It’s an absurdly hilarious insight into a man who has turned mathematics on its head. School teacher by day and stand-up comedian by night, Matt Parker has devoted the past seven years of his life to making maths more accessible for teenagers, while making it humorous for everyone else. The brains behind the YouTube hit ‘standard meal units’ which devised an easy maths solution to splitting restaurant bills, Parker says the defining moment behind the idea was a night out with a group of mathematicians. “We got the bill and there were fictitious numbers in there... restaurants are ripping people off because they know that customers are daunted by facing a bill... there has to be an easier way.” According to his theory, a standard meal unit equals one main and two drinks, with heavy drinkers charged 1.4 meal units. But it’s not just restaurant gags. The 31-year-old has also produced minute-long spoofs on working out whether cheap airline flights really are cheap and a fairer way of splitting the rent between housemates. It all might sound quite trivial yet Parker is on a quest to better educate Britain’s young people. He grew up in Perth, “the middle of nowhere” and defied the Australian sporting culture. “You’re forced in Australia to play every sport known to man just to, in my case, make sure you’re not good at it.” His father was an accountant and from a young age Matt turned his attention to maths, which led to a “very nerdy run through secondary school”. It was after university that he began his career as a school teacher in the UK. He says he understands why it’s so difficult to get young people engaged with mathematics, because “I’m prepared to admit, it can get very boring very easily”.
He believes the country is “incredibly desperate” for suitably qualified maths teachers. “One quarter of maths classes are taught by people who don’t have a maths background, they’ve been forced at gunpoint to teach maths.” He says non-specialist teachers are compounding the problem by making it “more boring and more uninteresting”. When he visits classrooms he makes a point of deliberately avoiding maths on the curriculum to make it more appealing. His assault on British classrooms has for some years now run parallel with his work as a comedian. Parker has been nominated for a handful of comedy awards and was named the National Fame Lab’s People’s Choice winner in 2009. He brought the two together because of a comedian’s natural inclination to poke fun at things that interest them. He says there are stark similarities between standup and speaking to school students. “I realised I could start using the same techniques, sensibilities and strategies I’ve learnt doing stand-up to then do maths the same way. I took out the jokes and replaced them with maths.” But there’s more than maths to Matt. While death might prove an uncomfortable subject for many, Parker has chosen to embrace it. Along with friend Timandra Harkness, the mathematically macabre doubleact are currently touring Your Days are Numbered, a one-and-a-half hour show about the statistics of death. “You can cut your chances of dying from a heart attack by 50% if your drink eight bottles of wine a week,” he says. It’s a humorous take on “what you can do to live longer”. “Statistically,” he tells me, “every hour - your life expectancy goes up by 12 minutes. So [by coming to our show] you’re going to get 18 minutes of your life back. You’re only wasting one hour and 12 minutes of your remaining life to come and see the show.” Easy as one-two-three... Don’t miss Matt Parker and ‘Your Days Are Numbered’ at the North Finchley Arts Depot, 18 February
AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment
travel
10 | Travel
canada
tting This week we’re pu
ON THE MAP
14 February - 20 February 2012
Polar bears out my window n
With snow lying round about London of late, what better time than to hear from SHARON SPENCE LIEB who visited the very snowy polar bear capital of the world. CHURCHILL, in Manitoba Canada, is known as ‘The Polar Bear Capital of the World’. On my flight towards there aboard Calm Air, I relax with the onboard magazine, Up Here. One story grabs my immediate attention. “Polar bears are the largest, strongest, and most blood-thirsty of Arctic predators,” writes Dean Cluff, wildlife biologist for the Northwest Territories government. “They only know how to hunt and kill to earn their next meal.” I’m on my way to join Churchill Nature Tour’s ‘Polar Bear Adventure’. Of course, they’ll take good care of me, but am I really ready to encounter blood-thirsty beasts? I hop off the plane into the frigid air, wondering if I’ll need my return ticket.
polar bear fiction versus fact
Before climbing aboard a polar rover and heading into the tundra, our group tours Churchill’s fascinating ‘Eskimo Museum’. Dedicated to advancing knowledge of Northern culture, with a focus on the Canadian Inuit, the beautiful exhibits include stone, bone, and ivory sculptures, as well as archaeological and wildlife specimens. A black fanged 12-foot high polar bear is the most incredible specimen, standing guard at the Museum entrance inside a glass box. The gift shop offers Inuit art, jewelry, and scholarly, historic and children’s books. I bought a charming child’s book titled The Polar Bear Son by Lydia Dabcovich about an Inuit woman raising an orphaned polar bear cub. Village children play with friendly, fluffy “Kunikdjuaq,” who grows up beloved by all. This helpful bear even hunts and fishes for his human mother. When the adult villagers decide the grown bear is too dangerous and must be killed, his alarmed mother sends him away. Days later, she calls his name, and the bear returns, bringing salmon and seal. Kunikdjuaq and his human mum live happily ever after. A romantic notion, of course. ...continued on p10
Travel | 11
AustralianTimes.co.uk
Continued from p9... That evening local photographer and guide Mike Macri shares his own dramatic human versus bear story. “One day I’m walking along Hudson Bay’s shoreline,” Mike says. “A huge polar bear rises up from a rock behind me. I grab my gun and turn to face him. Six feet from my face, I’m terrified, yet thrilled. I’m prepared to shoot him if I have to. I don’t want to. After what feels like forever, he snorts in my face, then lumbers away. What a relief. Then I check my gun: it was jammed. That bear easily could have killed me with one paw swipe. Why didn’t he? I’ll never know.” Are we ready for our own polar bear encounters?
Polar bears are the largest, strongest, and most bloodthirsty of Arctic predators the bear necessities
The next morning, minus four degree temperatures insist that I layer on long underwear, wool pants, sweaters, fleece vest, snow parka, hat, and gloves. Our group climbs aboard a polar rover emblazoned with ‘Great White Bear Tours’. Our Churchill Nature Tour guide Patrick Rousseau gives us safety tips on meeting the ‘Lords of the Arctic’. “Polar bears are super aggressive,” Patrick warns. “Males can weigh 1,320 pounds and stand 10 feet tall. If you want to return home with your hands and head, I suggest you keep them inside the bus windows.” We laugh, but he’s serious. No one has ever been hurt, and Patrick’s diligence and experience are why. Patrick has led Churchill Nature Tours for 16 years and his impressive resume includes 34 years as a Wildlife Biologist for the Canadian National Park Service. His specialties include resource management of black bears, beaver, bison, hydrology, and Arctic Ecology. He also has a gentle sense of humor and eagle eyes, constantly scanning the horizon for bears, foxes, and owls. Driver Bill McPherson fires up the engine and the heat, and we hunker into plush seats. How many polar bears will we see today? The boreal forest of black spruce, jack pine and poplar trees gives way to windswept trees and brownish willows against a gun metal sky. Along unmarked tundra trails, we roller coaster in and out of muddy potholes, through icy ponds.
Every snow covered rock seems to be a sleeping polar bear. Huge bear paw prints meander into the distance. Thank God we’re not hiking this desolate tundra world.
bear-ing it all
“Bears at 11am,” Patrick calls out. “Two young males, sparring.” Cameras click as twenty feet from our polar rover, two yellowish polar bears stand on their hind legs, swatting each other’s shoulders and heads. Tough boxers. “Are they fighting?” I ask. “They’re exercising,” he replies, “getting in shape for a long winter of hunting seals on the ice. If they don’t build up their stamina, they can’t hunt, and they’d starve to death. This behavior is critical for their survival.” Patrick shares more polar bear facts. “Their paws are the size of a dinner plate and their heads are 14-16 inches wide. They can unhinge their powerful teeth and crack a seal’s scull with one crunch. Their claws can haul a 200 pound seal from the water. And they can pick up a scent from 20 miles away. That’s why they come so close, smelling our lunch. And us.” A mother bear appears, adorable cubs in tow. She stops and sniffs the air as a strange male bear walks along the horizon. As he approaches her family, she freezes, staring intently as if to say, ‘stay far from my kids or you’ll be forever sorry’. He veers away, without challenging her.
bear hug anyone?
Safely inside our polar rover, we take incredible photos from the open windows and the back deck. Polar bears stand under the grate, smelling our feet. “Don’t stick your hands through the grate,” warns Patrick, “if you enjoy having ten fingers.” During two exhilarating days, we’re guests at a very special polar bear party. Over three dozen bears make an appearance. Some jaw each other’s teeth, others snooze in the willows. One looks like a giant stuffed toy, on his back, huge paws in the air. My first polar bear sighting was at age eight. A large male paced inside a tiny concrete cubicle at The Washington National Zoo. I felt sorry that his life was limited to floating in a tiny pool, eating, sleeping, and entertaining us kids. Now I understand he was a rescued orphan cub, and his life at the Zoo was infinitely better than being defenseless, starving in the wild. So here I am in Churchill, 50 years later, thrilled that a massive hungry polar bear is right outside my window. I can’t hug him, or pet his ivory fur. Yet I can’t give up my girlish infatuation either. I stick my vulnerable head out the bus window and blurt: “I love you. With all my heart.” But this ferocious ‘Lord of the Arctic’ is hungry. Sniffing my warm flesh, his expression says, “I could care less. Why don’t you give me your head? For a snack.” Rejected, I sulk into my bus seat, as Patrick saunters down the aisle. “So Sharon, now you’ve got a hot date with a polar bear?” he grins. “Nah. Not my type.” We laugh. “Sharon, you know what’s so great about this place?” our driver Bill says. “Every fall in Churchill we get to watch these incredible bears get ready for winter. In December, when Hudson Bay ices over, we watch their bums waddling north onto the ice. With a big bear smile on the other end.” Now that’s definitely my idea of a happy ending. AustralianTimes.co.uk/travel
12 | Travel
14 February - 20 February 2012
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BERLIN TO BUDAPEST
Explore Europe like a pro with Contiki’s Berlin to Budapest trip. And save money doing it! Visiting five countries over 11 days, you’ll get to see Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, Slovakia and Hungary. And if you’re quick, you might just be able to knock almost £200 off the trip price. The tour departs 7 April and if you get in by 20 February you could save £163. This tour encompasses the big four cities of eastern Europe - Berlin, Prague, Vienna and Budapest. Having two or three nights in each city will mean you have a chance to really discover the cities in depth. You’ll also pop in to Bratislava, the capital of Slovakia, for lunch! Horse burgers anyone? For full details, see: Contiki.co.uk/ destinations/europe/tours/100-berlinto-budapest
BECOME AN ANTARCTIC POLAR EXPLORER
Inspired by our awesome polar bears feature on pages 10 and 11, we have found a deal for the ‘polar explorer’ within you. You could save up to 30% aboard the M/V Plancius when you join Explore’s Antarctic Peninsula trip on 20 March. A voyage to the Arctic or Antarctic is the trip of a lifetime. Just imagine waking up surrounded by glaciers and mountains as far as the eye can see, standing encircled by penguins or that heart-stopping moment when you see your first polar bear... Travelling with Explore, you’ll see the region on a small, informal expedition ship, maximising your time with the wildlife and on-shore. You’ll also see these regions responsibly, as all of their expeditions are run in accordance with environmental guidelines. See three penguin species, humpback, minke and fin whales, plus seals and different bird species on a 10 day trip to the White Continent. Simply book by 18 February 2012. To book, call Explore’s specialist polar team on 0844 875 1895 For full details, see: Explore.co.uk/ polar/16651-save-up-to-30-aboardthe-mv-plancius AustralianTimes.co.uk/travel
Australia on the Western Front, 1916-1918
£80 per person including lunch on the Somme
Guided day coach tours of Australia's Western Front Battlefields: Fromelles, Pozières and Villers-Bretonneux. Departing Central London, travelling in executive comfort, join Battlefront Exploration for a guided tour of Australia's Battlefields on the Western Front. We visit: Fromelles: ‘the site of Australia's bloodiest twenty-four hours’ Pozières: ‘more densely sown with Australian sacrifice than any other place on earth’ (Australia's Official Historian) Villers-Bretonneux: ‘the final defeat of the 1918 German Spring Offensive’
Further details, tour dates and payment information can be found on our website www.battlefrontexploration.co.uk.
Jobs & Money | 13
AustralianTimes.co.uk
10,000 banking jobs to go by 2014: FSU OVER 10,000 jobs could disappear from the banking sector in as little as two years as the big four continue to axe positions while they lift interest rates independently of the Reserve Bank. The Finance Sector Union (FSU) on Monday warned of widespread industrial action after ANZ Banking Group said it would cut a total of 1,000 jobs from its 24,000-strong Australian workforce by September. ANZ’s announcement came shortly before Bendigo and Adelaide Bank, Commonwealth Bank and National Australia Bank hiked their standard variable interest rates (SVR) for home borrowers by 15, 10 and nine basis points respectively. All the banks blaming higher funding costs for their increases. ANZ told staff that 492 jobs would go in the latest round of cuts, which it kicked off in January when it axed 133 positions. The bank’s move also follows Westpac’s recent announcement that 560 employees would go, with the FSU faring the Sydney-based lender’s cuts could hit 1,000. The sector has already lost 2,000 jobs in 2012, FSU national secretary Leon
Carter told reporters after being briefed on the job cuts by ANZ management. “If this pace continues, we stand to lose 10,000 jobs over the next 18 months,” he said. “From an industry which (combined) made $24 billion in profit last year, this is the challenge - to not accept that jobs can just disappear from these companies. “At the end of the day all they care about is making more money. We need much more action from the federal and state governments to get involved in this industry.” Mr Carter’s comments are in contrast to an ANZ statement last Wednesday, in which it said “every effort” would be made to use natural attrition as well as staff redeployment. ANZ also pledged to keep its senior executive pay packets fixed for the year. Most of the job cuts will affect back-office, processing and middle management workers, predominantly at ANZ’s headquarters in Melbourne’s Docklands. ANZ and Westpac on Friday raised their SVRs on mortgages by six and 10 basis points respectively, with Westpac saying its cost of term deposits had risen by 30 basis points.- AAP
AustralianTimes.co.uk/jobs-money
Dollar Review
Aussie strengthens on back of Greece’s austerity plan THE Australian dollar has gained in strength over the last few weeks, and continued to do so this past week coming to rest at 0.68 to the British pound and 0.937 to the US Dollar. This rise can be partly attributed to the passing of austerity measures in Greece, allowing them to qualify for an international bailout. Parliament Speaker Filippos Petsalnikos was cited as saying a total of 199 Greek lawmakers have voted in favor of the plan. Adam Carr a senior economist in Sydney at ICAP Australia LTD. said that “on the view that Greek legislation would be passed, we could see an upside for the Aussie dollar.” The Aussie took a slight knock this week after the Reserve Bank announced that it has lowered its forecasts for both growth and inflation this year. The Central Bank has forecast that the economy will expand 3.5% this is substantially less than the previously predicted 4%. This forecast will boost the scope for a
reduction in interest rates. Jonathan Cavenagh a currency strategist at Westpac Banking Corporation in Singapore was cited as saying that the Reserve Bank has an easing bias, which is reflected in the revising of their growth forecasts. ANZ Bank announced late on Friday afternoon that it would raise the mortgage lending rate by 6 basis points; this will in all likely-hood encourage the other major banks to follow in their footsteps. Market sentiment seems to be that this will add pressure for the Reserve bank to cut interest rates.
GBP/AUD: 1.4760 EUR/AUD: 1.2362 AUD/USD: 1.0673 AUD/JPY: 82.8619 Exchange Rates at 09:19, 13 February 2012
Composed by Monique Chapman:: Note: The above exchange rates are based on “interbank” rates. If you want to transfer money to or from Australia then please register/login on our website, www.1stcontactforex.com, or call us for a live dealing rate. Make use of a Rate Notifier to send you alert when the Australian exchange rate reaches levels you are looking for.
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Join us at an Australian Business event in 2012
In November 2010 the UK Government announced that it was introducing an annual limit on the number of Certificates of Sponsorship that could be issued for Tier 2 workers. This came into effect on 6 April 2011 and only 20,700 certificates were made available under the annual limit for the first year. The annual limit of 20,700 certificates of sponsorship (CoS) were divided in 12 monthly allocations. In April 2011, 4,200 certificate of sponsorship were made available and thereafter a monthly allocation of 1,500. The UK Border Agency operates the limit by not allowing any sponsor to issue a restricted CoS unless they first get permission using the monthly process. If the monthly allocation is over subscribed, the applications for certificates of sponsorship are ranked using a points system designed to favour jobs on the shortage occupation list, scientific researchers and higher salaries. All applications for restricted CoS must score a minimum of 32 points but applications are collated and prioritised, using the CoS allocation points table. Due to this roll-over system, there are 11,817 Tier 2 Certificates of Sponsorship available for allocation in February 2012!
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14 | Sport
14 February - 20 February 2012
Chappelli’s blueprint for Australian success
Free Tag Rugby ladies days back in 2012
LADIES DAY: The ever successful and hugely popular Tag Rugby ladies day sessions are back in 2012.
By Phillip Browne
Continued from p16... the moment. “And the other problem area is spin bowling. I think Lyon’s is alright but I’m not so sure there’s much depth there.”
TOP JOB AS TOP DOG FOR PUP
However Chappell, who captained Australia in 30 Test matches, is particularly pleased with how Australian skipper Michael Clarke has handled the Test captaincy. “I think Clarke has done a terrific job. A good indicator is how a guy performs as a player when he is captain and five centuries including a double and a triple in 12 Test matches is a good indicator that he’s got the right temperament. In other words, he’s boosted by the responsibility rather than being weighed down by it. I didn’t ever have a doubt that he’d be tactically pretty good because I’ve seen him as a young bloke, seen him captain a little bit in One Day cricket and he’d done a bit of captaincy as a younger guy. “The thing that has really impressed me is he has put his own stamp on the job and he’s handled what could have been a volatile situation, having the previous captain [Ponting] in the side, he’s handled that very well but it’s his team and he’s been in charge and that’s what I have liked about it.”
PUNTING ON PUNTER
On Ponting, Chappell said he didn’t think it was time just yet for one of Australia’s greatest batsmen to retire. “I think he would have been gone if we had some young batsmen who were churning out some scores and were ready to take his place but I don’t see anyone who is ready to take his place or Hussey’s at this stage. And that’s a bit of a concern in the Australian team. “Retirement has changed quite a lot. Keith Miller in my eyes summed it up best. When someone
asked him why he retired he said, “I wanted to retire when people were asking me ‘why did I’ rather than of ‘why don’t you’.” But that’s another era and that’s an era that I was certainly part of. When I retired - the first time before I came back for World Series Cricket - it was a very easy decision because I was earning $200 a Test match and I suddenly went in the commentary box and earned the same fee per day. So it was a very easy decision and you came to a point where you had to say to yourself, ‘well this has been great fun but now I have to get on and earn a living’. But he says that nowadays it is exactly the opposite. “Ponting, whatever he is earning from cricket now, there’s no way he can replicate that when he retires and that’s why it becomes important at selection panels where you had a natural culling process before because people had to get on and earn a living whereas now you haven’t got that culling process so it’s down to the selectors to make some tough decisions. “But they haven’t got a tough decision at the moment because there’s no young guys there banging on the door to take either Ponting or Hussey’s place.”
BUILDING A TEAM OF DAVID WARNERS
Luckily though, Chappell has some advice for aspiring Australian cricketers and a few tips he think will make the Aussie team stronger. “The blueprint for young cricketers in Australia and young batsmen in Australia should be David Warner. He has obviously worked out that if he scores runs, he’ll get rewarded. Now obviously if you score them in an enterprising fashion you’ll get rewarded better. But rather than trying to build a technique that will get you 10 an over on a flat pitch and get you a contract with IPL [Indian Premier League], Warner is a batsman.” He thinks early critics were wrong when they tried to pigeon hole Warner as “purely a T20 player”. “People were blinded a bit by comments that ‘he’s a T20 player’. He was never a T20 player, he was always a batsman. He’s an improved
batsman, he’s matured well but he was always a batsman and not a T20 player. And if I was talking to any young batsman now, I would say have a look at what David Warner has done and say ‘if you get runs, doesn’t matter which form of the game you’re playing in, you’ll get rewarded, now go out there and build up a technique that will get you runs under all conditions’. “Hussey is a classic example, Hussey gets runs in all forms of the game. And he’s got a good classical technique and because he’s got that classical technique he can adapt to whatever game he’s put into. So they are the guys I would be saying to young players, have a look at them and follow their principles because it’s not a bad blueprint.”
THE POMS IN A SPIN
Hopefully the blueprint is already there for Australia to recapture the Ashes next year and Chappell sees England’s recent poor form against Pakistan as a telling indicator of things to come. “They’ve had a weakness against spin bowling, from what I’ve thought, for a long time. But not many teams can export it like Pakistan. I mean England are still a good side but they’ve now got some problems they’ve got to sort out. Because the rest of the world is suddenly energised and think ‘aha, this mob can be beaten’ and that’s when you really have some work on your hands.” But before the mission to reclaim the Ashes – there is Australia’s current One Day tri-series against India and Sri Lanka. And Chappell thinks Australia have got what it takes to go all the way. “On current form I’m pretty certain [Australia will] get to the finals. I’m not so sure who will get to the finals with them, probably India I suspect because they have been playing here a bit even though they haven’t been playing well, I still think they’ll be better than Sri Lanka.” Ian Chappell is an international judge of the ESPNcricinfo Awards
IN another week of Tag Rugby action across the capital that was played in sub zero temperatures, players were out in full force at the venues where play hadn’t been cancelled due to the frozen conditions. The Barnes, Bermondsey and Rotherhithe competitions went ahead as scheduled with plenty of snow falling during matches, much to the delight of the many Antipodeans who hadn’t seen scenes like this before! In the Bermondsey competition which features 13 teams, the Shun Tamura led Double Scrum & Coke have broken away from the pack leading by three competition points and are now favourites to take out the competition. Across at Barnes, Moves Like Tagger are in great form, still undefeated and have only conceded four tries in as many matches. In other news, the popular free ladies day Tag Rugby coaching sessions are back for 2012. There will be two
free sessions which will be held on 25 March (Balham) and 17 April (Hyde Park). The ladies day sessions are free ladies coaching sessions put on by Try Tag Rugby so female players can work on their skills, increase their Rugby knowledge and most importantly, have a good time! These sessions are open to female players of all abilities and Tag Rugby experience levels. If you would like to get involved, all details can be found at www.trytagrugby.com Meanwhile, the registrations for the Spring Tag Rugby competitions (4 March) are now open. If you would like to get involved in one of the fastest growing sports in London, new team and individual registrations are welcome. This is a great chance to develop a network of friends if you are new to London. To register for a Try Tag Rugby competition, go to www.trytagrugby. com or email info@trytagrugby.com for more details.
Getting in early for the Aussies v the Poms
NEW tickets have been released this week for the previously sold out One Day cricket clash between England and Australia at the Kia Oval this summer. The game on Sunday 1 July will see Australia in the UK to play the old enemy in a five match One Day series pitting Michael Clarke’s exciting young side against England’s misfiring limited overs team. With Aussie big guns such as Mike Hussey and Ricky Ponting expected to line up alongside some exciting young talent like big hitting David Warner and the pacy Mitchell Starc – it will be a great opportunity for UK based Aussie expats to take a look at the future of the national side whilst enjoying a few cold ones in the summer sun!
As ever with matches at the historic south London ground, tickets proved very popular and the game was completely sold out long before Christmas. However, a Surrey CCC spokesman this week revealed to Australian Times that they have been able to recover a small number of top seats and put them back on sale. “The new seats are in the heart of the OCS Stand, so you’re guaranteed a great atmosphere,” the spokesman said. “However the game originally sold out very quickly so any expats wanting to support their boys would need to move quickly to secure their spot.” To get involved and buy your ticket, either visit kiaoval.com or call 0844 3751845.
Sport | 15
AustralianTimes.co.uk
Green unhappy at losing Demons’ captaincy BRAD Green has praised the tough love of new coach Mark Neeld at Melbourne, even though it cost him the captaincy at the AFL club. The Demons have been through a thorough overhaul in the wake of last season’s woes, when Dean Bailey was sacked as coach and they dropped one place to 13th. Green only lasted one season as skipper before Neeld decided to appoint Jack Trengove and Jack Grimes as cocaptains, with the 30-year-old left out of the leadership group altogether. “He’s been pretty ruthless, as soon as he got here,” Green said of Neeld. “It’s probably what we needed as a club ... and no doubt that’s the style we’ll be playing. “We’ll play a really structured game and we won’t waver from that. “I probably had a hunch that Neeldy wanted to go with a new approach, a totally-new leadership group, and go down that path - with a whole new coaching staff, a whole new structure, football department and a whole new game plan.” He said the day before the captaincy was announced, Neeld took him aside for a no-nonsense conversation. While Green had a feeling he might
lose the captaincy, it was still an unpleasant surprise. “Neeldy is a straight-shooter, straightaway he said `mate, I’m not going to bullshit to you, I’m just going to tell you you’re not going to be captain’,” Green said. “He basically told me we’re totally going with youth and a new approach. “At the time I was a little bit shocked, I probably knew it was coming, deep down. “You still want to feel a part of it.” But Green still wants to help lead the side, saying their youthful co-captains will need advice and support. “Hopefully even if they don’t want me to be there, I will be around here trying to do my best and leading the boys,” he said. Meanwhile, former Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse said on Monday he was concerned about Magpies forward Andrew Krakouer. The club has given Krakouer a fourweek break to return to WA and take care of personal issues. Krakouer was the feel-good story of last season, making his AFL comeback at Collingwood after being jailed for assault. Malthouse wonders how Krakouer
Continued from p16...
will cope once the player returns to Collingwood, given fellow indigenous player Leon Davis is no longer at the club. “I think when the games start he’ll probably feel a bit better, but Leon Davis won’t be there,” Malthouse told 3AW. Davis left Collingwood and returned to WA at the end of last season after failing to agree on a new deal. Malthouse said he was trying to contact Krakouer. “It’s not about football, this is about life,” Malthouse said. “If he comes back to football - well and good - but I want to get in touch on the humanity thing, not so much the football thing. “I want to make contact with him, he’s such a beautiful kid.” - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport
Cycling World Cup a preview to Olympics AUSTRALIA and Great Britain both take Olympic-strength squads into this week’s opening phase of a fivemonth track cycling cold war before the London Games. Australia’s riders get their first look at the Games velodrome and a chance to eye their likely Olympic rivals in the London leg of the World Cup, a test event in more ways than one. Stage two of the battle before London will be at the world championships in Melbourne in April. But the first chance to make a preGames statement comes at London’s Olympic Park from Friday. Australia’s team pursuit gun Jack Bobridge knows it’s an opportunity to reinforce a psychological edge as much as it is to get information on both the intricacies of the Siberian pine track and his opponents. “We’ll be looking to win in London and stamp a bit of authority there
and do the same thing at the worlds,” Bobridge said. “It’ll be great to get there, get some data and see what the track’s like.” The long-standing team pursuit contest between Australia’s world champions and Britain’s Olympic champions will provide one of the highlights of the three-day event. Sprint queen Anna Meares will face her British nemesis Victoria Pendleton and China’s exciting Guo Shuang, while world keirin champion Shane Perkins will have a better indication of his Olympic chances after another contest with British pair Chris Hoy and Jason Kenny and Holland’s Teun Mulder. Perkins says the World Cup is also a chance for the Australians to continue their progress in the team sprint. Perkins, Matthew Glaetzer and Scott Sunderland set an Australian record at the World Cup in Kazakhstan last November, finishing second to world
champion Germany and marking themselves as credible challengers to the Germans, British and French. “There’s progress and there’s still more progress to be made,” Perkins said. After failing to win a title at the recent Australian championships, the World Cup is a strategic step for Perkins on his way to the Olympics. “From hereon, we change focus in training. We see the speed step up and some goals to hit in the World Cup and bigger ones in Melbourne for the world championships,” he said. “The major goal’s to win an Olympic gold medal ... the world championships will be preparation for the London Olympics and the World Cup will be preparation for the world champs.” As well as four-time Olympic champion Hoy and Kenny, Perkins also faces Germany’s formidable Robert Forstemann in the sprint. - AAP
Rebels excited by arrival of big guns ALL the talk ahead of the Melbourne Rebels’ second Super Rugby season can be summed up in five words; James O’Connor and Kurtley Beale. Two of the most exciting talents in the game, the prospects of last years woodenspooners have suddenly brightened with the Wallabies stars now on deck. Damien Hill has taken over the reins from Rod Macqueen, who has moved into a coaching director role at the club. Hill admits expectations have risen with the arrival of the dynamic duo, who have impressed in the Rebels opening trials. “You could say that it probably does increase expectations,” he said. “Last year the only Wallabies we had were Mark Gerrard and Nick Phipps so we’ve doubled that with those two so it’s fair to say expectation is going to be fairly high. “They’re two world-class players; they’re exceptional attacking players in particular, and that what we lacked last year.” What the Rebels also lacked in 2011 was any semblance of a defensive system, easily leaking the most points in the competition.
The arrival of former Wallabies defence guru John Muggleton has already made a dramatic difference if trial form is anything to go by. Tackle-shy five-eighth Danny Cipriani pulled off a try-saving effort in their match against the Blues while another turnstile from last season, winger Cooper Vuna, also impressed. In the forwards the cornerstone of their scrum, former international prop Greg Somerville retired. Heralded as a future Wallaby, Laurie Weeks looks ripe to step up. Hill said he was happy with the way his forwards were developing and predicted a big year from one of their best performers in 2011, Welsh No.8 Gareth Delve. “Gareth had a good season last year but with his head now being right across Super 15 and his body in really good condition, I think we’ll see another level from him.” He also noted the pre-season efforts of Tim Davidson, Jarrod Saffy and Hugh Pyle. Englishman Cipriani drew the headlines in their debut year - mostly for his off-field indiscretions - but Hill
Injured Clarke to miss one game
believed the 24-year-old has matured. “Last year he was a 23-year-old kid living away from home, away from family and support and under a fair bit of scrutiny and he didn’t handle it as well as he could have,” he said. “This year he’s focusing on how he’s best going to perform on the paddock rather than off the paddock.” Hill isn’t one for bold predictions, only saying they want to win more games than in their debut season - three - and they want to perform consistently. “The three wins we got were hardfought wins and there were other games where we could have won and sections of play that I think were as good as anyone,” Hill said. “The confidence that comes with success; being able to replicate it and trust it, that’s what this side is developing.” - AAP
replacement captain for the fixture against Sri Lanka at the SCG. National selectors met Monday to pick another captain and the rest of the squad for the next block of oneday games. The squad will be released late on Tuesday and selectors could turn to ex-skipper Ricky Ponting as Clarke’s temporary replacement. Regular vice-captain Shane Watson only returned to grade ranks last weekend from a six-week absence with a calf injury. While Clarke hoped to return for Sunday’s one-dayer against India in Brisbane, team physiotherapist Alex Kountouris was non-committal. “(He) sustained a low grade right hamstring strain,” Kountouris said in a statement. “I will assess him later this week and decide on his availability for the game in Brisbane on Sunday.” Selectors faced several tough decisions when choosing their next one-day squad, with Clarke’s injury and wicketkeeper Brad Haddin’s future key discussion points. Haddin missed Australia’s initial
three one-dayers, with selectors saying he was rested as Matthew Wade took his spot. Australia’s batting line-up also faces scrutiny with newcomer Peter Forrest making 66 on debut in Sunday’s defeat by India to bolster his chances of remaining in the squad. “I know the selectors are meeting today so I’ll be sitting by my phone tomorrow (Tuesday) hoping to get a call,” Forrest told reporters in Brisbane on Monday. “Yesterday was a great day and one I’m not going to forget. “It was nice to contribute but it would have been a lot nicer had I got 80 plus or a hundred and got the side to a win.” - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport
Brazil dream for ageing Schwarzer Continued from p16...
the oldest goalkeeper and the second oldest player ever, behind Cameroon star Roger Milla, to compete at a World Cup finals. Milla was 42 years, one month and eight days old when he competed at the 1994 World Cup in the United States. Schwarzer will be 41 years, eight months and six days old when the 2014 event begins in Brazil and he has every intention of being there. “It’s great, I am living the dream,” Schwarzer said after returning from two month’s out with a spinal injury in Fulham’s 2-1 Premier League win over Stoke on Saturday. “I am playing football at the highest level and I am almost 40 years old. “There are not too many of us that can say that so I am still playing because I love playing.
“As long as you love playing and you’re still good enough to play at this level, then I want to continue. “I still have ambitions to go and represent Australia in another World Cup in 2014, that is my ultimate goal and I am working towards it.” Schwarzer, Australia’ most capped player in A internationals, has been a mainstay in Fulham’s side since joining from Middlesbrough in 2008. Last month he penned a one-year contract extension to keep him at the club until at least the end of the 2012/13 season. Schwarzer could be named in Australia’s squad for the World Cup qualifier against Saudi Arabia in Melbourne on 29 February, though he may be rested until the second stage of qualifiers starting in June as progression in already assured. - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport
Stewart crucial for UK game Continued from p16...
season to resume his role as the crucial cog in Manly’s backline. The 26-year-old also regained his mantle as the Sea Eagles’ major tryscoring weapon, crossing for 15 tries from 20 games in 2011, including four in the finals, as he gained confidence in his game and his knees. And while that was short of his 22 tries in 2008 and 21 in 2006, Toovey believes Stewart will find another gear in the coming season. “He is leaps and bounds ahead of where he was this time last year,” Toovey said. “He finished the year off in sizzling form. I think he’s actually looking forward to starting a season where he’s not encumbered by injury. “It was a very traumatic injury in the sense that there were lots of doubts about whether he could perform at the top level again with his athleticism and whether he could reach his top speeds again. “But I think he’s worked very hard on it and the medical staff have worked very hard on it.
“He’s back to his best.” The Sea Eagles will take on Leeds this Friday in the World Club Challenge, where Stewart will again play a major role in Manly’s attack. And Toovey admits Manly would have struggled to win last year’s premiership had it not been for such a successful comeback by Stewart. “You don’t win grand finals without a potent backline,” Toovey said. “And we got that from the likes of Brett and Jamie Lyon. If you take a player like Brett out of that team, then it does reduce that potential.” - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport
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CHAPPELL SAYS SWITCH HIT IS ‘RIDICULOUS’ Schwarzer closes in on World Cup history
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Australian cricket legend blasts cricket’s ‘unfair’ switch hit technique and says Australia still has a way to go to before reclaiming top Test team status By Tim Martin FORMER Australian captain Ian Chappell has never been one to mince words. And he’s now come out firing about the polarising ‘switch hit’ technique, which David Warner pulled off with aplomb in Australia’s recent T20 win over India. “I think I wrote it first in the 1990s, early 1990s, that it’s ridiculous,” Chappell told Australian Times. “I mean it’s a terrific skill but can someone explain to me how it’s fair? If the bowler has got to tell you which way he is bowling - over the wicket, round the wicket, right arm, left arm - how can it be fair if he then places a fielder for a left hand batsmen and just as he’s about to deliver the ball, the batter becomes a right hander. Chappell said he “admires” the skill of the technique but has called for balance to be maintained. “There’s a thing called balance between bat and ball and to me that’s the most important thing that administrators have got to do – to keep that balance pretty even. Now if I was playing the game and someone did that [switch hit], I know exactly what I would be doing. I’d make it known that I’m very unhappy about it and I think it’s unfair. And I’d do something to try and get it changed. I’m not in any doubt at all, sure it’s very skilful, but no way in the wide world is it fair.” The cricket legend and now television commentator said he’s impressed with the Australian team at the moment but he’s not sure if they’re back to their world beating best. “Australia have certainly found a pace attack during this summer and they’ve been well captained and that’s the way to turn things around quite quickly. That’s not to say they still
EVERGREEN Socceroos goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer is targeting a slice of World Cup history after reiterating his desire to carry on for Australia until Brazil 2014. The Fulham keeper turns 40 in October but wants to continue playing for at least another two seasons as he eyes an international swan song in South America. Should Schwarzer make it to Brazil, he would become ...continued on p15
Ponting could be captain again
AUSTRALIA cricket captain Michael Clarke hopes to miss just one limited-overs international due to his leg muscle injury. Clarke said scans on Monday returned “good news” by revealing just a slight strain to his right hamstring. “I have a grade one hamstring strain so will be out of Friday’s game,” Clarke posted on Twitter. Australia will be forced to name a
AUSTRALIA AGAINST ENGLAND The road to London starts now | P15 don’t have some flaws there which I’m sure they’d like to fix up, some of the top order batting leaves a bit to be desired and I’m sure they’d like to see some young batsmen coming through but it’s a hell of a lot better than it was 12 months ago.” Yet he wouldn’t go so far as to say Australian cricket was entering a new golden age. “No. No I wouldn’t say that. Certainly – our bowling, it’s very good, very strong. You are going to
have next summer, if they all get fit, nine or 10 guys who have all played a bit of international cricket with a bit of success and all looking to be in the Test side which is a very good thing. “But I don’t see a batting lineup at the moment. If you look at some of the heavy lifting in the Test series against India, apart from Warner, a lot of the heavy lifting was done by [Michael] Clarke, by [Ricky] Ponting and by [Michael] Hussey.” And Chappell agrees that Australia
have to reinvest in youth for the future. “Australian cricket has got to get back to finding young batsmen who are good enough for first class cricket and ready for first class cricket at age 18. And that’s when you start to get a few guys coming into the Test side at age 20-21-22. Ponting and Clarke both came in at around that age and you’ve got to have those guys feeding through and I don’t see those guys at ...continued on p14
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Stewart nearly back to best: Toovey MANLY coach Geoff Toovey says Brett Stewart is leaps and bounds ahead of where his fitness was at this point last season and he expects the NRL will see the best of the star fullback in 2012 following an injury-free preparation. Stewart, who missed the 2009 and 2010 seasons with successive knee injuries that threatened his career, returned in a big way last ...continued on p15