RECREATION

LIFESPAN RECREATION Friendometry

A Friend Finder for Kids

By John Krejcha

Childhood loneliness can have lifelong consequences. Children who do not have friends are at higher risk for anxiety and depression as they get older, which may lead to lifelong emotional struggles. Even having one friend can provide benefits that result in higher self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth.

Finding and keeping friends can be hard for many children. Kids on the autism spectrum often have challenges with social interactions, so making initial contacts and maintaining those relationships can be extra difficult. Parents often want to help but aren’t sure where to find good matches for their kids. Friendometry looks to address this challenge.

Spectrum Life Magazine recently connected with co-founder Dr. Daniel Kriz to learn more about how Friendometry supports youth friendship.

Tell us about Friendometry.

We believe that there’s a friend out there for every child! We want to help make that connection!

Friendometry was founded by myself, a Pediatric Neuropsychologist, and my lifelong friend, Tucker Lemm. We teamed up in 2018 to combine our expertise. Friendometry was created because of the clear problem that childhood loneliness is on the rise (even before COVID-19) and that children without friends can suffer long-term problems. Our site was designed to fill a gap in efforts to combat childhood loneliness.

Friendometry is a place online where parents can find and meet other parents in their geographical area who are also seeking friends for their children. For one reason or another, kids generally have had some difficulty either making or keeping friends. Many children participating are on the autism spectrum, but this is not a requirement. All parents are welcome to join if they are seeking friendships for their children.

Friendometry works similar to a dating website, except that it is matchmaking for friends, not for dating. Children are not allowed on the site; it is only for parents.

How did you come up with the name Friendometry?

Well, I wanted a name to capture my mission of making friend connections for youth that are struggling to find friends, and “ometry” uses angles and connections. Friendometry is about making friend connections.

Do you have a personal connection to someone on the autism spectrum or with other learning differences?

I have been working with the neurodiverse for close to 20 years. In my work in pediatric neuropsychology, I became accustomed to troubleshooting a similar dilemma with many of the families I worked with that had a child on the autism spectrum – many of them did not have a friend. For close to 10 years, I would brainstorm with parents about ways to find friends for their children when more naturalistic ways had not been working. I saw the impact this challenge was having on the children, and their parents, for that matter. This is what motivated me to create Friendometry – to create a platform to make this easier.

What age range do you work with?

Professionally, I work with kids ages 3 and all the way up through young adulthood. Friendometry is for youth ages 3 - 17.

How does Friendometry work?

Friendometry is completely parent-driven. The parent starts by creating an anonymous strengths-based profile of their child’s personality characteristics and interests. This creates a profile of their child, which shows online to others as anonymous. Then, the parent searches their geographical area, and the site locates other children in the area. The parent can then review other children’s profiles, select a potential match and begin messaging other parents internally through the website (still anonymous) until both groups of parents want to take that relationship “offline.” The parents have complete control and discretion, so it is safe and effective. They can then set up get-togethers (usually supervised by parents) or Zoom meetings given COVID limitations.

What kind of safety measures are part of Friendometry?

We have a locked-down secure site. It is strictly for parental use, so parents have complete control, and we do require a credit card on file to be able to track users in the rare

circumstance something unusual were to happen (although nothing to date has happened that required this).

How many people are currently part of the Friendometry network?

We currently have hundreds of users. Many of the users are in Oregon in the Portland Metro area, Salem to Eugene, and Central Oregon. However, we do have users all over the world.

How have things changed with the COVID-19 pandemic?

We have actually noticed an increase in usage. There are less naturalistic ways to find friends now. This service fills a huge gap in need for our youth. Some parents are hesitant to get together given COVID-19, but they have had introductions and interactions through Zoom or Facetime to help get their children acquainted. We have some kids who have been connected who now play Roblox together. I would say this is an excellent time to start using Friendometry.

Would you share a story about clients you have helped?

The first time I heard that a child with autism made a friend on my site made all of the time and resources I have put forth worth it! One parent recruited youth off of Friendometry to have a social club for the kids, which is still going. It doesn’t work for everyone, but we encourage people to get on there and try. If you get on there and don’t have luck initially, your profile will be there for others to find you when they sign up!

Any tips for success in finding new friends?

I always recommend more naturalistic ways of finding friends like school, recreation, etc. However, as our families know, it is not always that easy. Get on to Friendometry and start connecting! Other parents are on there for the same reason.

How much does it cost?

It is only $19.99 per year, which covers website maintenance. We give it away for free whenever possible, though.

Readers of Spectrum Life Magazine can use the free code: SpectrumLife to get their first year free!

How would somebody get started to determine if this would be something for them?

You can connect with Friendometry through our website: www.friendometry.com. We also have a Facebook page: www.facebook.com/friendometry.

What else is important for Spectrum Life Magazine readers to know? • Friendship increases confidence, self-worth, sense of belonging, and overall well-being. • Friendships can prevent anxiety and depression. • Friendships can lower levels of mood challenges. All the parents on the website are in a similar position as you. They want the best for their children and know how important friendships are in their development. If your child is having difficulty finding or making a friend, this website was created for you!

What are your goals for the future for Friendometry?

Our mission is to lessen the burden of loneliness on the individual, communities, and society as a whole. All children deserve a friend. It is a basic human need. It is 2021, and it is now commonplace that millions of adults are finding companionship online. It is time to allow the internet and technology to help children find a friend. We want Friendometry to help millions of children worldwide. Join the movement!

Sheriff John “Friendly” Krejcha is co-founder of Autism Empowerment and serves as Programs Director. He serves on the Editorial Advisory Board of Spectrum Life Magazine and is a guest host for the Autism Empowerment podcast. John is married to co-founder Karen Krejcha and is the father of two amazing children and their feisty cat, Zula. While John is the only one in the family who is not on the autism spectrum, he identifies as a neurodiverse and loving ally.