VIXXEN - March 2010 by VIXXEN Magazine

40 CHARLYNE YI 42 THE GIRLS OF THE DEATH VALLEY BLUES BAND 46 5 MINUTES WITH THE DELAYED 48 THE DEATH VALLEY BLUES BAND 52 RIOT GRRL 58 DIA DE LOS MUERTOS 66 SOUTHERN INK 68 THORNFEST

24 PINK SPECTACLES 25 DIAZ SUICIDE 26 GRAVEYARD GOURMET 27 KRAFTY KITTEN

14 FASHION 15 FASHION THROUGH THE AGES 16 MARVELOUS MAKEUP FOR EXT TO NOTHING

28 DIE ANTWOORD 30 AKING 32 SCREAM DIRTY LOVE 34 PUNK DOES BEER DAY 36 JOHNNY FOREIGNER

4 EDITOR’S LETTER 5 CREDITS 6 STAFF SHENANIGANS 8 CONTRIBUTORS 10 RADAR 12 NEWS 20 EAR CANDY 21 ON THE BIG SCREEN 22 READ IT 23 PLAY IT

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CATHERINE LOUW

if i had a dime for every time i walk into a shop and get weird looks, i could afford to talke everyone on holiday. Add to that the constant

stupid questions like ‘Did this hurt?’ (I had a needlethrough my flesh, what do YOU think?), and you can somewhat understand why I’m so blaze about my appearance nowadays. Many of us are judged based on the fact that we like having metal through our faces and ink on our skin, and that is never going to change. Our attitudes on it, however can. There are plenty of people in this world who look different and think different and that is the beauty of it - from Vivvienne Westwood to Tim Burton, you can understand the logic in the saying ‘think outside the box’. Thus, we approached this issue like we always do - telling the people we have featured to just be themselves. We pride ourselves on portraying everyone in this magazine as REAL people, with no Photoshopping to make someone look ‘perfect’.

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We went all out – gig reviews were booked, a fashion shoot was staged, photo shoots were confirmed and the result is our blood, sweat and tears. Our cover girl, Riot Grrl (aka Christine Wilton) was asked to take part for a few very specific reasons – firstly, she is absolutely the nicest person and a pleasure to work with. Secondly, she is a fashion designer and owner of SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO. Thirdly, she is a kick ass bass player (stand-up bass, to be precise) for PISTOLWHIP 45. What more could we ask for? We decided to showcase some of her clothes in the form of Dia De Los Muertos, a photo shoot dedicated to the Day of the Dead. This is the first time we have had people help out – we had a stylist and makeup artist, an assistant photographer and loads of beer, food, friends and good tunes. Tamara Sun and El Machete kindly let us use their place in Linden, with El Machete catering to our every culinary need, and its still brings a smile to my face recalling Mark Misconduct asking ‘Are those viennas

vegetarian?’, followed by us bursting into laughter at the reminder that no one had taken his eating habits into consideration. This month, we also bring you some great gig reviews, one of my favourites being Punk Does Beer Day, not only because of the amazing lineup, but also because of what it represents – it is awesome going to a gig to see your friends play a show that they have been rehearsing tirelessly for. Plus, some fellow Eastern Europeans in the form of RED FIVE POINT STAR were headlining. Another favourite was Die Antwoord, which I know I will get in trouble for saying. Love ‘em or hate ‘em you definitely can’t ignore them, and I am convinced that there are subliminal messages within every track, because I cannot stop listening to them! They are great live and you should definitely make a plan to go see ‘em. We also had an interview with UK based punk band, The Delayed, who played at Thornfest this year, as well as feature on local dirty blues outfit, The

Death Valley Blues Band, who I am in complete awe of – being talented musicians and still staying grounded is not easy, but these guys (and girls) have managed to strike the balance. Albeit for a few ‘mishaps’ (mainly in the form of the ever-charming frontman Kevin S Flee), the gang is pretty well behaved and we had a really cool photo shoot. We also featured the two girls in the band, because it’s time women in rock get more recognition. Although we weren’t able to attend Southen Ink Exposure, a talented lady by the name of Clare Foxcroft Williams stepped in to bring you a review of the weekend. And lastly, a bunch of us attended Thornfest, which was, without doubt, the best festival I have been to in a very long time. The line-up was amazing, the beer was flowing, and, once again proves my personal theory that, with good friends and good music, one can survive anything. Enjoy this issue!

CATHERINE ANN COFFEEBEAN We bribed Cat with copious amounts of caffeine, and now she is back with the VIXXEN team! This girl can consume insane amounts of coffee in short amounts of time without crashing. She is studying multimedia, whilst perfecting her photography skills. She likes to spend her time on deviantart.com, smoke Tina’s cigarettes and take photos of beautiful things.

JEN ROOMES Jen, VIXXEN’s debut cover girl, is now a full-time member of the VIXXEN team, bringin all her creative energy to the mag. This psycho doll is a designer and DIY mistress, with 2 columns already in VIXXEN - Graveyard Gourmet and Krafty Kitten. She used to play bass for NESHAMAH and ran her own shop in Pretoria called SILENT SCREAMS. Jen currently resides in San Diego, Califronia.

CLEO BLACK We never thought we would come across anyone who speaks more than Tina - until we met Cleo. Bubbly and outgoing, Cleo is passionated about South African music, and loves nothing more than taking photos at gigs and writing about bands. She also doesnt take shit from anyone, as proven by her trannie-tuning activites. She used to be straightedge, but now she is a full on beeraholic, one more reason why we love her.

EDITOR: TINA KOULISHEVA ASSISTANT EDITOR: LAUREN JANE WHEATLEY PHOTOGRAPHY: CHRISTELLE DUVENAGE CATHERINE ANNE COFFEEBEAN CLEO BLACK ARNO VD WESTHUIZEN WRITERS: CLEO BLACK CHRISTELLE DUVENAGE OLIVIA MIKRUT JEN ROOMES FASHION & BEAUTY EDITOR: LILI NERLICH MARKETING MANGAGER & PR: MARISKA KRUGER DESIGN: TINA KOULISHEVA CHRISTELLE DUVENAGE JEN ROOMES MARISKA KRUGER CONTRIBUTORS: TAMARA SUN, EL MACHETTE, OLIVIA MORTIMER, CLAIRE FOXCORFT WILLIAMS, ABEL SCHOLTZ, DIAZ SUICIDE, WILLIAM COLLINSON, LAUREN UTTING, MALINDI STRYDOM, NORBERT HAJDU, MIKE MURRAY

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MARCH 2010

Our favourite Suicide Girl has grown up and moved to Israel, where she writes her monthly column, A Suicide Girl In Israel. She is a super cool girl, with a go-get-em attitude who likes tattoos and Marilyn Manson. Hanging out with this girl guarantees a good time in the form of craziness and tequila. Her new SG set, Choke, is up in member review so go show some love! www.suicidegirls.com/girls/diaz

Olivia Mortimer is a seventeen-year-old photographer who likes listening to quiet music loud, sneaking into places, hanging out with her friends and being a weirdo. She’s the girl at the rock show and has a camera for a face. Olivia photographed the Johnny Foreigner gig.

Arno (aka BoerPunk Photography) was studying something or other when he discovered that he takes some really rad picutres. A few years later, armed with an education in the field, Arno is ready to rock the world. He is a super cool dude who shows up on time, huffs, puffs, smokes, drinks, and takes great photos. He loves Fokofpolisiekar and Jack Parrow.. and skinny jeans. Arno assisted in the Dia De Los Muertos fashion shoot, shot Vanfokkingtasties, as well as D-Tour Launch. Watch this space for more.

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Abel is a genius with live bands, and with, erm, drinking. He loves all kinds of music and can be spotted at gigs with a camera in hand. He recently got a fish-eye lens and is rocking the photo taking. He likes martial arts, anime and OPPIKOPPI. He also has a bit of an obsession with DIE ANTWOORD, and took photos of them for our gig review.

At last Tina found a fellow Eastern European who’s name is harder to pronounce than her own! Norb hails from Hungary. Althought he is a trained Industrial Designer, his super slick skills extend to the knowledge of graphic design. He designed the Girls of the Death Valley, The Delayed, and The Death Valley Blues Band articles.

If we were to tell you everything Lauren is qualified in, it would take all day, so we’ve narrowed it down Lauren is an an art teacher, who runs her own character design company, MEPHISTO CHARACTER DESIGN. She has a BA PGCE, Hons in Art and Design and is currently completing her masters in applied ethics (we told you she’s smart). Lauren also spins some sick tunes on the deck in the form of select alternative and goth. She reviewed Die Anwoord, and wrote Marvelous Makeup For Next To Nothing. Watch this space for more.

This little firecracker is multi-talanted - she owns KITTY KAT MAKEUP & STYLING and is the brand manager for EMILY THE STRANGE in SA. She has previous experience on shoots for magazines and film and she is tiny! Tamara did makeup and helped with styling for our Dia De Los Muertos fashion shoot, AND was kind enough to let us use her place. Oh, and she recently became a Suicide Girl, so go show her some love! www.suicidegirls.com/girls/ LaTara

An aspiring architecture student passionate about shooting anything to do with people, from motorsports and gigs to studio portraiture. Life’s more colourful through his lens and that’s why we think that you can just stop this man from smiling. Mike shot 7 Year Kismet.

Clare is the talent behind SWEET NAUSEA PHOTOGRAPHY. She likes psychology, Jack Daniels, darkrooms, feminism and good music. Clare photographed Southern Ink Exposure in this issue.

This legend fronts THE VENDETA CARTEL and was kind enough to let us use his house for the Dia De Los Muertos fashion shoot, all the while catering to all our alcoholic and dietary needs and playing awesome music.

Malindy was brave enough to take on Thornfest with Christelle and Cleo and joined in on the partying and photography.

Michelle is our events review writer who accompanies Arno to all the events you see from the photos he’s taken. She’s 21 years old, studies fashion design and dressmaking and is an aspiring SuicideGirl.

VIXXEN IS ALWAYS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR TALENT TO CONTIBUTE TO OUR ISSUES. IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES SEND THE FOLLOWING TO INFO@VIXXEN.CO.ZA: - SMALL BIO, INCLUDING AGE, DEGREE & NAME OF INSTITUTION (IF ANY), HOBBIES, ETC. - A LINK TO YOUR PORTFOLIO/ 3-4 OF YOUR BEST WORKS - YOUR LOCATION - YOUR CONTACT NUMBER AND EMAIL YOU NEED TO BE AVAILABLE ON DAYS

REQUIRED, AS NOTIFIED 1 WEEK PRIOR TO THE EVENT. YOU WILL NEED TO GET TO THE VENUE BY YOURSELF, AND A PASS WILL BE PROVIDED FOR YOU. **PLEASE NOTE:** IF YOU DO NOT HAVE AN EDUCATION IN THE DE-

PARTMENT TO WHICH YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE, DONT STRESS! WE BASE OUR CHOICES ON TALENT. YOU WILL NOT BE PAID, BUT WILL GET FULL CREDIT FOR YOUR WORK, AS WELL AS BE IN THE MAGAZINE UNDER ‘CONTRIBUTORS’ WITH A PICTURE AND BIO. MARCH 2010

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, Tim Burton’s latest offering is finally upon us! The movie God takles Lewis Carroll’s tale of Alice In Wonderland the way only he could - quirkily. Burton takes us through Alice’s adventures in a mixture of live action and animation and starring Mia Wasikowska as Alice, alongside Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter as The Red Queen, Anne Hathaway as The White Queen, Crispin Glover as The Knave of Hearts and Stephen Fry

as The Cheshire Cat. Alice is 19, and falls down the rabbit hole to return to Wonderland to help her friends overthrow the evil Red Queen.

WORDS BY CLEO BLACK | PHOTOGRAPHY BY SAM SCHNEIDER

It’s been a while since a band of any genre has really made my jaw drop in awe. It feels like the “scene” has deteriorated into a big fat mess of talentless wannabes, grabbing microphones and belting out try-hard, generic

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lyrics. Plus Im a harsh critic. Taking into account the above, I was thoroughly, and jawdroppingly impressed by a group of teenagers (yes, all of them 18 and below) from Pietermaritzburg, called The Truth

Revealed. Friends had been telling me all day, “Wait till you hear TTR… your ears will bleed with sheer happiness.” But I, ever the skeptic, decided not to take anyone at their word, but to let the music speak for itself - and speak it did. My mouth literally hung open through the first two songs of their set. By the third song I snapped out of the euphoric daze I was in enough to grab a camera out of my friend’s hands and start shooting. These kids are SPECIAL… and not in the rain man kinda way. Heavily influenced by The Devil Wears Prada (their set includes two covers), and Rave-core bands like Attack! Attack! , The Truth Revealed are amazingly tight for musicians as young as they are. Two vocals (clean and screams) bring a depth to the

music that I hear from bands like Saosin and Dance Gavin, Dance. Placing balanced emphasis on guitar and synth sounds lets both instruments stand out, without being cheesy or overpowering. On top of all that, their live performance is pretty freaking brutal; I’m almost 100% sure Josh (screams) practices those scary faces in the mirror… and synchronised axe wielding is SO MUCH cooler when the wielders are all barefoot wearing cut-off skinnies. Basically what I’m saying is: keep an eye out for these young ‘uns. If they’re playing a venue near you, make damn sure you haul your ass off to see them The Truth Revealed, like good cheese, will only get better with age… so stay tuned.

The VIXXEN team loves and supports gay rights in South Africa, so we were stoked to hear about TAG. TAG Events brings you its sexiest night ever, a night dedicated to all that is dark and delicious... Dress in our most daring outfirst ever; think leather, lace, chains, chaps, corsets, cuffs and anything else... Just keep it clean people. JOIN US TO SUPPORT AND CELEBRATE ALL THINGS GAY RISQUE LOUNGE 3RD MARCH 2010, 8:30 Half-Price beers and shooters from 9-11.

IN JH

Gala Darling, a New Zealand girl with candycoloured hair, left the corporate world behind forever at age 23 to pursue her love of publishing. Her website is a seamless & fabulous mix of fashion, lifestyle advice & tips on how to live magically. An international nomad & playgirl, she delights in writing from any city that pleases her (though she considers New York City home). She loves dressing up, kissing, dancing, and really big shoes. Her site is full of gorgeous inspiration.

www.galadarling.com

Margaux Lange creates these unique jewellery pieces from barbies.

THIS YEAR, CAPE TOWN’S BIGGEST ROCK FESTIVAL IS SET TO ROCK GAUTENG – FROM THE GREAT BANDS PLAYING TO AN OUT OF THIS WORLD LIGHTING SPECTACULAR - A MAD INTERACTIVE TRIP TO THE MOON, TO ALL THE STALLS, ARTS AND CRAFTS MARKET AND WATER SPORTS, THIS IS ONE S ATURDAY OF THE YEAR NOT TO BE MISSED! ARTIST INCLUDE: WRESTLERISH THE SICK-LEAVES ISOCHRONOUS AKING THE NARROW JACK PAROW DIE HEUWELS FANTASTIES BOO! LARK (ONLY SHOW IN JHB) PENDULUM DJ SET (EL HORNET & VERSE) / UK & AUSTRALIA TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE FROM COMPUTICKET NATIONWIDE. R100 – PRESALE R150 -00 AT THE GATE. GATES OPEN: 12H00. WWW.RAMFEST.CO.ZA

www.margauxlange.com

MARCH 2010

BEEFCAKES TO SUPPORT GAY PRIDE To celebrate Pride in Cape Tow, BEEFCAKES BURGER BAR is hosting a line-up of A-grade entertainment: Mon 1st Mar - 20h30 - Musical Mondays with Janes Meyer Tue 2nd Mar - 20h30 - Bitchy Bingo with Sister Mary James Thur 4th Mar - 21h00 - Drag Night with Odidiva Sat 6th Mar - 12h00 - Gay Pride March - Join our Float then dinner and dancing! 40 Somerset Road, Greenpoint Cape Town, (021) 425 9019 www.beefcakes.co.za

HORSE THE BAND! The rumors are true, and if you hadn’t heard the rumors, go start some: Calibreed Productions is proud to announce HORSE The Band Live in South Africa! March – April 2010. Horse the Band is the greatest live musical ensemble on the planet of Earth. Any doubts will be firmly shattered by the ‘REIGNS IN AFRICA’ tour. 12 gigs, 17 days. One opportunity to have the course of your very life forever altered by the musical explosion that is HORSE the mother f*ckin’ BAND. They’ve toured pretty much everywhere except this lonely Dark Continent, and we’re proud to finally have them on our shores. Lets return the favour and show them exactly what Africa is made of. HORSE will be coming to you, so there is no excuse. Do you want to be left out? Do you want to have the tales of wonder and awe related to you at a later date, thinking to yourself all the while, ‘Damn, I should have been there’? No you don’t. You want to be at as many of the tour dates as possible. If you’re studying; you’ll be on holiday, if you have work; you’re going to need to call in sick. If you need to deliver a baby, skip the delivery (but name the kid after the band). Sitting there thinking, ‘I would love to have my the course of my existence forever altered through this live experience, but I live in the middle of nowhere, whose going to be coming to Grahamstown? We are. Mozambique? Get over to Maputo, cause we’re fucking coming. CONTACT: calibreed@gmail.com Baden Moir: +27 (84) 9027043 www.calibreed.wordpress.com ---------------------------------------------HORSE THE BAND: www.myspace.com/horsetheband www.horsetheband.com

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INK & IRON 2010 SATURDAY, MARCH 6, 2010 10:00AM - 11:55PM WEMMER PAN (TURF STREET, LA ROCHELLE) Tattoo’s, Bikes, Music, Market... 27 Tattoo Categories! 11 Motorcycle Categories! Trophies awarded for ALL categories Plus!! Miss Ink&Iron, Mr Ink&Iron, Biggest Club, Longest Distance Travelled awards Tattoo Artists working on the day (if you’re thinking about getting some new ink – today’s the day!) Lucky Draw Cash prizes throughout the day! Trade Stalls, food stalls, great music – D.J. & Live Bands!!

Slovenian Punk Ska kings are back in SA, and trust us - they’re rocking the venues like never before. Catch em live: WITH SUPPORT: WE CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT THURSDAY, 4TH MARCH - Black Dahlia, JHB FRIDAY, 5TH MARCH - Pietermaritzburg SATURDAY, 6TH MARCH - Burn, DBN TUESDAY, 9TH MARCH - Musos, EL WEDNESDAY, 10TH MARCH - Slipstream, Grahamstown THURSDAY, 11TH MARCH - Zula Bar, CT FRIDAY 12TH MARCH - Mercury Live, CT SATURDAY, 13TH MARCH - Wynberg Sports Centre, CT TUESDAY, 16TH MARCH - Tings n Times, PTA THURSDAY, 18TH MARCH - Maitisong, GABARONE FRIDAY, 19TH MARCH - Back2Basix, JHB SATURDAY, 20TH MARCH - Cool Runnings Fourways, JHB

HENRY ROLLINS IN SA! HENRY “HANK” ROLLINS - ROCK ‘N ROLL RACONTEUR IS BACK WITH HIS “FREQUENT FLYER” TOUR, ALL NEW STORIES, HILARIOUS INSIGHTS AND ANECDOTES FROM THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE OF A L EGEND MAY 6TH - PRETORIA STATE THEATRE MAY 7TH - JOHANNESBURG BASSLINE CLUB, NEWTOWN MAY 8TH - CAPE TOWN BAXTER CONCERT HALL

MARCH 2010

LEOPARD DRESS, TRUWORTHS, R170

RED DRESS, YDE (SALE), R220

PURPLE DENIM DRESS, MR PRICE (SALE), R79.90

JACKET, MR PRICE, R129.90

CLUTCH BAG , CHINA MALL, R89.90

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SHOES, MR PRICE (SALE), R49.90

As we continue our journey through the history of the fashion we are used to today. This month we take a look at the 1930’s. Unlike the 1920’s, where all of the women went for the “boyish” look, the 1930’s were the return of the more feminine look, also the fashSome of the major designers that inspired the 1930’s included Madeline Vionnet, who devised methods of bias cutting and made the halter neck and crowl neck popular; Norman parelli, who introduced the zipper, synthetic fabrics, simple suits with bold colour accents, tailored evening wear, wide shoulders and hot pink (the colour) to the world. Shiaparelli and Chanel were great rivals and both vied for top designer and competed against each other, mainly with their perfumes. As mentioned earlier, the fashion in the 1930’s was much more feminine and rounded busts and waistline curves were seen once again, hair also went from being short and covered by clothe hats, to soft and pretty styles as the perm improved. Clothing was feminine, neat and tidy by day, because women now had more productive and busier lives, simpler clothes gave them more freedom of movement. However, in the evenings, fabrics like metallic lame were very popular for going out at that time and they were made to shimmer by adding plastic sequins’ or glass beads. Skirts went from minis to being longer in the back and shorter in the front. The hemlines got lower and lower and reached calf-length within a year. Some of the clothes were so stylish that they could still be worn as are today. However, new and improved fabrics with duced and designers were very eager to work with them.

Most of the materials used included cotton, wool, and silk, but rayon could be dyed and also had the look and feel of silk, and was often used for lingerie for the cheaper market. aspect in the 1930’s, and because so many people took up “sun worshipping” as a common leisure, items such as beach wraps, hold alls, soft hats and knitted bathwas important too and therefore sportswear fashions became more practical and actually allowed movement. One of the most important accessories of the 1930’s were gloves, also, manufacturers and retailers introduced coordinating ensembles of hat and gloves, hats and shoes, gloves and scarf, or hat and bag, all in striking colours. Things changed during the war when designers began to adjust the mood of their collections to a more military inspires, square shouldered clothing with low heels, giving off a more functional look. Also during the war, designers had shown simple clothes such as trousers, sweaters, and classic shirt that were designed to stay in fashion. As we continue learning about each era, we will not only see how different each era is from the other, but also how we have managed to mix and match certain styles from each era to make our own styles , the styles that make up the latest and greatest fashions of today.

MARCH 2010

FOR NEXT TO NOTHING WORDS BY LAUREN UTTING

GREAT MAKE-UP DOESN’T HAVE TO COST TO EARTH AND YOU DON’T NEED TO BE AN ARTIST TO APPLY IT EITHER. CAREFUL AND GOOD CHOICES WILL MEAN THAT YOU GET THE BEST OUT OF HOW YOU LOOK! DAY OR NIGHT, SMART OR CASUAL, YOUR MAKE-UP IS YOUR GREATEST ACCESSORY AND WE’RE GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO GET A FLAWLESS LOOK ON EVEN THE MOST MEAGER OF BUDGETS.

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BEAUTY WITHOUT CRUELTY

Loads of entry level and established cheap and cheerful cosmetic companies are not testing on animals anymore. For more info check the back of the box or visit http:// www.scribd.com/doc/8415434/PETAs-CrueltyFree-Pocket-Shopping-Guide-to-Printout to download the PETA pocket guide to cruelty free shopping.

A flawless complexion is the most vital and important part of any made up face and even if you suffer with sensitive, dry or problem skin there are now even the most basic chain store products geared to help even the most rebellious of skins. Any great look starts with a good skincare regime and the key is consistency, not just what products you use. Wash/cleanse, tone and moisturize morning and evening (making sure to alternate with a suitable moisturizer for each) even on nights when you get home late from the local a few drinks under or even after a late night working and you’re totally exhausted. This is when your skin care is most vital as sleep is the time to rest and rejuvenate

Well-trimmed brows are the best way to compliment any face and the best budget eyebrow groomer is a cleaned off old mascara brush to brush them the right way out and a dab of Vaseline to hold them in place. For more dramatic eyebrows use a dark brown pencil rather than a black one so eyebrows are vampy rather than two arched leeches hanging precariously from your forehead. Line under the eyebrow rather than above it and make sure that pencil is needle sharp!

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so clear that gunk off ye hear! It is really important to recognize your skin type (dry, sensitive, oily, combination) and moisturize accordingly with the right product to prevent minimum breakouts and the smoothest, happiest complexion possible. Use a mousse or powder based concealer/ base to keep shine and oil to a minimum on those hot summer days. Some cosmetic companies even make a basic almost nude summer glow that works best for this time of year. You want your skin to appear refreshed not pore clogged and it is also a good idea to keep heavier make-up for evenings. There’s nothing more unglamorous and uncomfortable than knowing

A good soft kohl pencil in a neutral colour like brown or auburn is one of the most versatile pieces you can have in your make-up bag- it can double as eyeliner, lip liner and an eyebrow pencil and with a good smudge on the top lid, becomes instant eyeshadow. If you have small eyes avoid lining them on the inside rim- this makes small eyes look even smaller. Rather line softly on and just below the lash line but make sure you smudge and

your base is running down your face in rivulets as you bare the 2 o’clock lunchtime traffic. Switch over to a richer, more cream based concealer for winter when skin has a tendency to go dry. Always strive to get a base as close to your natural colour as possible- it’s like trying on a bra or panties. Take as much time as you can and test as many products within your price range in the store. Don’t be shy to ask an assistant- it’s what they’re there for but make sure that you’re clear about how much you can afford and what you’re looking for at the outset, otherwise a pushy sales assistant can convince you that an R800 moistur-

blend it in, Raccoon or cartoon burglar eyes are just plain scary. Conversely, if you have bigger eyes line them much closer to the edge of the eye or on the rim- while big eyes are devilishly gorgeous you don’t want to look like a PUG. Where possible, choose darker colour eye shadows that have a glittery or shimmery look about them because they can be used day and night and tend to look less harsh and generally blend better.

izer is the only thing that can give you stunning results. Test base out on the inside of your hand or arm for the best match and make sure it has at least an SPF15.

of faces.

Keep a translucent powder for touch upsit really refreshes and is perfect for rejuvenating even the most tired

Good mascara is your second most essential makeup ingredient and is the one makeup tool that can make you go from dowdy to vamp in 2 minutes. For thinner lashes that need volume you’re not going to beat two-phase mascara with primer and colour. It automatically thickens any lashes but go sparingly- two many coats and lashes look clumpy and like little caterpillar shoes.

Lips must always be smooth and soft before the application of any lipstick/gloss especially anything metallic based. Rub your toothbrush with just a bit of water on it over lips for a few strokes to get rid of any dry skin and to plump them up. If you have small lips AVOID at all costs very dark colours that have the tendency of making small mouths look like a slit. Use rather shiny, light or neutral glosses to give the illusion of fuller lips and conversely the same for bigger mouths. If you have especially large lips use a liner and slightly darker colour to reign in an overgenerous pout. No matter what anyone says and no matter how ‘Goth’ you want to go blackliner around your lips is NOT COOL. No one wants to kiss a person who looks like they have a bacterial infection around their mouth. You don’t need to outline your lips to help us locate where your mouth is A good rule of thumb is

to decide where you want the main focus to be. If you’re going for outrageous lips in daring colours (I used to wear a metallic blue gloss once that looked awesome!) then pair it up with a slightly simpler eye (maybe just some mascara and a sweep of thin liquid liner on your top lash) or if it’s all about the eyes, use a more neutral or shimmery lipstick. Don’t wear intense, glossy, dark coloured lipsticks if you know you’re going to spend most of the night chowing down spaghetti- it’s just not worth it and always take a touch up of some sort in your bag for afterward. If you’re clubbing or have a long night of partying ahead of you take a more striking colour to prevent that 3am washed out look. Also, if you plan on getting ‘lucky’ with a smooch be kind on your partner- most men (or women) would hesitate to give you that delicious first kiss if they know they will be forced to wear the evidence all night long The best way to find your

make-up groove is simply to just practice and practice but on a Sunday afternoon with a glass of wine, not 5 minutes before you’re rushing out somewhere. Beauty without cruelty! Have a heart and support this worthy cause. Loads of entry level and established cheap and cheerful cosmetic companies are not testing on animals anymore. For more info check the back of the box or visit http:// www.scribd.com/doc/8415434/ PETAs-CrueltyFree-PocketShopping-Guide-to-Print-out to download the PETA pocket guide to cruelty free shopping. Don’t be scared to be glamorous and ‘step out’ at night. Invest in some false lashes-they instantly attract a glance and can be bought for R10 a pair from some cheap makeup stores

may not know the origins of what you’re buying or how long it’s been sitting there for. Things like mascara’s, lipsticks and pencils are investment pieces and it’s worth buying one good, reasonably priced one to last you a couple of months knowing it’s not going to react on your face. Take as much caution with the stuff you put on your face as you would with what you put in your stomach. Most major commercial cosmetic companies take great care to make sure their makeup is not only hypoallergenic but will last more than just 2-3 applications and there are great budget buys. Aim for your major pharmaceutical and chemist companies who regularly have big sales on big name brands just after their launch date or to clear out old but notpast- their- best- before- date ranges and you can pick up amazing deals.

Be careful of ‘no name,’ ‘bargain bin’ or cheap Chinese import make-up if you know you have sensitive skin or just generally. Not all make-up is tested the same way and you MARCH 2010

WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

It’s easy to say that a band’s latest offering is their finest record yet. However, in this case, it really is Strike Anywhere’s finest record to date, which is a triumph, as many people didn’t think they could top 2003’s ‘Exit English’. This album also mark’s

the band’s departure from Fat Wreck to Bridge Nine Records, a gutsy move on their part. Strike Anywhere have always belted out anti-establishment, energetic tunes, and this time around, they have crafted them into, I dare say, almost anthemic songs, which is again a triumph, because the songs are so finely crafted, that the band complete-

This band has come a long way in a comers, they can now proudly count members of Slipknot, Lostprophets, Gym Class Heros and The Dillinger Escape Plan as contributors to this album. This album is as far from the maligned deathcore that the usually plays, and is more of a mash up of techno, dub-step, and even some rap. If you are familiar with the original Suicide Season, then there’s probably something here for you to enjoy, as all tracks are here are scarily enjoyable. A nice, different take on the band, but fans might be disappointed.

Eleven years ago, Alkaline Trio released their first full-length album, Goddmait. Since then, they have toured the world, sold over a million records, and expanded their sound beyond their original straight-ahead punk style. With This Addiction, their seventh album and first for Epitaph, the Chicago rockers are heading back to their roots. Front man Matt Skiba describes it as ‘a step forward with glimmers of our past in it.’ To recapture the sound of the early days, the band took a less-is-more approach on this record, keeping the keyboard to a minimum and sticking to the guitar-driven slash and burn that has made them a household name. The album is beautifully arranged and produced and a must for all Alkaline Trio fans.

20 MARCH 2010

ly breaks the mould of a genre that is associated with rawkus and untalated passion. A must for fans, and definitely worth a listen for anyone who hates the establishment but doesn’t like mighty screaming.

The band’s latest offering is very different from the last, highly-praised ‘Puzzle’, but is equally fantastic. Feeling the pressure to measure up with this record, the band set out in a lyrically different direction – one not as morbid and dark as on Puzzle, but lighter, and more optimistic. Beautifully produced, this is Biffy’s latest offering – an album on which they not only took risks, but risks that paid off.

Following their cult success with 2006’s, Liberation Transmission, Lostprophets stepped into the studio and recorded an album, but after being unhappy with the product, they decided to scrap it and start over again. This year, the band finally release The Betrayed. In this album, you can immediately sence the added aggression in their sound, taking a step forward from the mostly bumbblegummy Liberation Transmission. The album carries much more passion, which frankly Liberation Transmission lacked, which comes as a nice surprise. Once a rock band releases a radiofriendly album, it’s very rare that they ever turn back and return to their roots. Thankfully though, Lostprophets have been the exception to the rule. Definitely worth a listen.

WORDS BY OLIVIA MIKRUT

Precious is one of those movies that is bound to get you thinking about life. This film follows a 16-year-old Claireece “Precious” Jones, who on top of being pregnant by her absent father for the second time, also has to wait hand and foot on a mother who abuses her both physically and emotionally. As if her life isn’t hard enough, Claireece has struggled at school for the past 9 years, carrying the terrible secret that she can neither read, nor write. She is eventually threatened with expulsion and is offered to be sent to an alternative school. Even though Claireece has a life that nobody would ever want, and that nobody deserves, she still keeps her head up high and believes that there is much more to her life than what she is going through at the moment. She may not know the meaning of alternative but her instincts tell her that this is the break she needs to start her journey in life, a journey that’s lead her from darkness and pain to a life full of love and happiness.

This is a story of two U.S. marshalls who are assigned to investigate the disappearance of a murderess from a hospital for the criminally insane on an island just off the coast of Massachusetts. Teddy Daniels has been pushing to get an assignment on this particular island for personal reasons and when he finally does, he cannot help but wonder about the unethical and illegal treatments that are done by the hospital doctors. His investigating skills get him a lead until the hospital refuses him access to specific records that he needs in order to prove his suspisions. As he finally thinks that he is getting somewhere, a hurricane hits the island and all communications to the main land are cut off, and even more dangerous criminals escape in the confusion. Daniels eventually begins to doubt everything, including his memory, his partner, and even his own sanity. Could it be that this assignment is too much for him to handle?

Nine is a musical vibrant musical that follows the life of world famous director, Guino Contini, who is only ten days away from the start of principle filming of his latest movie. Contini already has a bad reputation that he was given by speculators and by the press, who believe that his production will end up as a flop, just as his previuos two films were. He fears that they might just be right this time, because he doesn’t have a script for the new movie yet, in fact, he doesn’t even have an idea. As if that isn’t problematic enough for him, Guino also has to balance all of the women in his life, including his wife, his mistress, his film star muse, his confidante and costume designer, an american fashion journalist, the whore from his childhood and his mother. He decides to escape to a seaside resort where he starts to think about all the women who have helped in shaping his life and gets inspired to use them as an idea for his new film.

The gory story continues, this time directed by Kevin Greutert, the editor of the previous five Saw movies. Saw 6 carries on where the previous one left off. It focusses on the posthuous efforts of the Jigsaw Killer and Detective Mark Hoffman, who is his successor. In this movie, the FBI are trailing Peter Stahm, who is suspected of being the Jigsaw Killers last lving accomplice, while Hoffman is setting a new trap for an insurance. Jigsaws grand scheme is finally understood in this movie when FBI draws closer to Strahm and Hoffman is forced to set yet another evil game into motion.

Tim Burton brings us an epic fantasy adventure with a magical and imaginative twist on one of the most beloved stories of all time. Alice s now 19 upon her return to the whimsical world she first encountered as a young

girl, reuniting with her childhood friends: The White Rabbit, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Dormouse, the Caterpillar, the Cheshire Cat, and, of course, the Mad Hatter. She embarks on a journey to find her true des-

tiny and end the Red Queen’s reign of terror. Amazin special effects, great script and a lineup for Burton;s favourite cast members guarantees this one to be a hit.

MARCH 2010

This book has been described as an “expanded original text has been preserved but fused with “ultraviolent zombie mayhem.” Perhaps you might think of the book as a gimmick – I find it to be a interesting way of looking at Austen’s classic novel. For one, having zombies in the picture answers certain puzzling questions. This may be the wackiest by-product of Jane Austen fan-fiction, and is definitely worth a read, if you have an open mind. If you don’t, read it and appreciate it anyways – after all, Austen’s novel has remained so powerful over time, even the undead cant spoil it.

Musician Nick Cave’s latest offering is set in England, with the main character, Bunny Munro being a door-todoor womanizing salesman. His wife’s suicide, however, threatens to derail Bunny’s amorous adventures, as he can’t shake the feeling that he might somehow be responsible. Another new obstacle is the need to look after his nine-year-old son, Bunny Jr. Cave’s ballsy humor, along with a dark undertones, elevate this novel and make this story worth a read.

CBGB & OMFUG, the dingy, legendary music hangout in Manhattan’s East Village, was the place to be, just when bands like The Ramones were on the rise. In his introduction, Kristal, CBGB’s founder and owner, explains that the place was “originally meant to be a country and blues club,” but “is famous for being the birthplace of a new era of punk.” Opened in 1973, the club’s band roster is like no other. Within this book, CBGB’s influence and legacy is honored with 200 photos of some

22 MARCH 2010

Witty? Check. Celebrity gossip? Check. Honesty? Check. The queen of porn’s autobiography is destined to become a lowbrow classic. The book chronicles how a 16-year-old girl Jameson went from high school cheerleader to stripper to porn actress within a year, making a pit stop at crack addict on the way. Jenna includes diary entries, interview transcripts and cartoon strips to make her autobiography memorable, as if to lighten the mood of the dark tragedy that she experienced in her teens. Although she is the highest paid adult film star in the world, beneath Jameson’s diva exterior, was a girl who just wanted to become a loving mother and wife. After many failures, she finally succeeded, and her X-rated book ends on an uplifting family-values note. Definitely worth a read, to see the other side of the story.

Since its publication in 1865, Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland has delighted the world with a wildly imaginative and unforgettable journey, inspiring children of all ages to suspend disbelief and follow Alice into her fantasy worlds. This new gift edition presents Carroll’s tale fully unabridged with a unique visual interpretation by renowned artist Camille Rose Garcia. A beautiful version of the classic tale.

of the most celebrated artists in music history. The come in two wavelengths: posed and candid. If you want to know how things were back in the day in the punk/ grunge scene, then this book honours and documents this movement.

WORDS BY LAUREN WHEATLEY

Historically, games based on movies are never particularly good. The games are more often than not thrown together as an extension of the movie’s marketing campaign. Avatar: The Game, is no exception. As opposed to re-telling the story of the movie, the game instead offers the player a prequel story. However, if you haven’t actually seen the movie, you’re pretty much lost as to what’s going on. The player is robbed of any motivation, given the chance of whether to play as a human character or on the side of the alien race, the Na’vi. Having chosen one or other, you are then thrust into two different gaming styles: a full-out action game, or a third-person shooter. The controls of the game have been described as loose and sometimes even nauseating. Apart from these shortcomings, the game is a beautiful one, with stunning 3D effects that offer a bright and colourful game backdrop. However the game itself will not hold your attention for very long, and is not particularly memorable.

This game has been called the driving game even for those who don’t like driving games. The graphics and controls, handling and stunning features make it a gem in the racing game genre, leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessor and the competition. Driving assist features include antilock brakes and stability control. Players may turn their nose up at having assistance but they certainly come in handy with the option of driving the superfast Bugatti Veyron. The game is truly enjoyable, with your opponents gunning for the finish line as opposed to ramming you off the track. Which admittedly, can be the most frustrating thing in racing games. The game has hundreds of amazing cars to choose from and tune up, a superior online multiplayer system and a satisfying variety of tracks on which to race. Overall a superb game, and a fantastic addition to any game collection.

GAME OF THE YEAR: UNCHARTED 2: Among Thieves

BEST TEAM SPORTS GAME: NHL 10

BEST SHOOTER: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

BEST SOUNDTRACK: DJ Hero

BEST RPG: Dragon Age: Origins BEST FIGHTING GAME: Street Fighter IV BEST INDIVIDUAL SPORTS GAME: UFC 2009 Undisputed BEST HANDHELD GAME: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars BEST GRAPHICS: UNCHARTED 2: Among Thieves BEST MUSIC GAME: The Beatles: Rock Band BEST DRIVING GAME: Forza Motorsport 3 BEST

BEST XBOX 360 GAME: Left 4 Dead 2 BEST Wii GAME: New Super Mario Bros. Wii BEST PS3 GAME: UNCHARTED 2: Among Thieves BEST PC GAME: Dragon Age: Origins BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: Halo 3: ODST BEST MULTI-PLAYER GAME: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

ACTION ADVENTURE GAME: Assassin’s Creed II MARCH 2010

elcome to 2010. Hope you enjoy the next couple of years folks, because according to drama queens the world over, the world will end in December 2012. The film 2012 depicts the world coming to an end because of the planets lining up and causing dramatic changes in the Earth’s gravity. People are clambering to add their piece to the predictions, claiming predictions by the Mayans, the Bible and so-called scientists. Theorists claim that we saw this apocalypse coming thousands of years ago. A popular example is that of the Mayan calendar, which is said to end on the 21st December 2012, signalling the end of the world. The date represents, according to astronomers, the crossing of the lines of the galactic equator and the Ecliptic path of the sun. To put it mildly, it signals an extremely significant event. But nowhere does it state that this would be the end

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of the world as we know it. In actual fact, the Mayans signalled this date as the end of a cycle, a period in time, whereby and new age would be born. In terms of New Age beliefs, it has been said that this is a time of spiritual transformation. Astronomically, the alignment that has been predicted to be happening on the 21st December 2012 has in fact been in the process of happening for a millennia. Every year for the last 1000 years or so, on the winter solstice, the Earth, Sun and the galactic equator come into alignment, and every year, precession pushes the Sun’s position a little way further through the Milky Way’s band. Astrologically, this means the end of the current “Age of Pisces” and the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. The Web Bot project is a system that, with the use of automated bots, searches the internet for specific keywords. Its creators state that it has predicted 9/11, stock market

crashes and other humaninfluenced disasters. They have even come forward to proclaim the prediction of the apocalypse on 21st December 2012. But critics find it hard to believe that the human collective can predict natural disasters such as earthquakes and the end of the world. Repent! Repent! The end is near! Haven’t we heard this all before? The global hype is likened to the worldwide panic generated by the rumour of the Y2K Bug, which in the late 1990s was set to be the end to the world. Theorists claim that the confusion generated by having a 2-digit representation of the year on computers and other devices, marked as ‘00’ as opposed to ‘99’, would cause globalwide crashing of computers, which would result in the collapse of governments, stock markets and the world economy. The problem was nothing but a small murmur in the transition from 1999 to 2000. It seems that the world

would like to hop on the bandwagon of any apocalypse mania. Perhaps it’s our innate need for drama and excitement, or the fear-feuled adrenaline rushing through our veins. Despite multiple arguments by scientists disproving this apparent apocalypse, the world seems to be cashing in on the fear behind it. Most recently the blockbuster movie 2012, but also websites selling merchandise adorned with 2012 apocalypse slogans. One can also pick up handy survival kits and read up on how to make it through the end of the world. Some websites suggest building a bunker on your property, claiming that a comet will hit the Earth. Keep your eye on the clock, ladies and gentlemen. The world (apparently) comes to an end on the 21st December 2012, 11.11am GMT.

WORDS & PHOTOGRAPHY BY DIAZ SUICIDE PROFILE PICTURE OF DIAZ BY TALAMIA PHOTOGRAPHY FOR SUICIDEGIRLS.COM

OUR FAVOURITE SUICIDE GIRL DIAZ HAS BID SOUTH AFRICA FAREWELL AND RELOCATED TO ISRAEL. WE CATCH UP WITH HER ON HER FIRST MONTH THERE. he first thing I learned about myself in packing my entire life into a measly 60kg’s is that books are more important to me than shoes. Most girls would think I am completely nuts, but I am not most girls. The second thing I learned is that getting 19kg’s of overweight luggage checked in without paying is not impossible. How, you ask? Find two people who are underweight and check in as a group. This can be a time consuming exercise but well worth it when you get to the other side and your invaluable books, like my 3kg Suicide Girls Beauty Redefined book, is on my coffee table where it belongs. Landing in Israel was a totally surreal experience, I have been here twice before but this time is different. I live here now. On my first day here I got my Israeli ID (with a whole different ID number that I now have to learn). I am now an illiterate foreigner who drives on the wrong

side of the road. Mind f*ck. The first thing I experience that is so different to home is being able to walk on the street at night alone and not being afraid. This took me a good two weeks to get used to, and as a Jozi original I am not sure I will ever truly be able to shut those eyes that us South African folk have at the back of our heads. The streets of Tel Aviv are busy and alive, there are people walking around at 3am, kids playing in the parks at 11pm, people walking their dogs at all times of the night. I just can’t get enough of this city. The next thing is efficient

public transport. As someone who is new in a country it is very tempting to just hop into a taxi as apposed to buses or trains that require some navigation skills, I don’t speak or read Hebrew so it is quite a challenge. The problem with taxis is that they will rob you blind as soon as you act or sound like a tourist. This brings me to my next big lesson. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People here do speak English and are usually glad to help. The hardest thing about leaving the country for me was saying goodbye to my friends and family. I just got ‘Made in

Jozi’ tattooed on my side, I will always be a Jozi girl at heart. I have come here knowing very few people and one thing I know is that an open heart attracts people, with time I know I will find my place in this crazy, beautiful country. Right now I am at a very romantic stage where everything is new and exciting. New food, new places, new people, new smells. It is overwhelming and very exciting. Until next month, Lehitraot!

“ MOST GIRLS WOULD THINK I AM COMPLETELY NUTS, BUT I AM NOT MOST GIRLS “ MARCH 2010

Skull Cookie Ingredients: 3/4 cup butter 1 cup white sugar 2 eggs 1 tablespoon milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt Throw the butter and sugar into a large mixing bowl, and cream together until smooth. Beat in the eggs, then stir in the milk & vanilla. In a separate bowl sieve the flour, baking powder and salt, then add into the creamed mixture, and stir until combined. Cover the dough and store in the fridge for at least 1 hour. (Now’s a great time to check out Krafty Kitten and make your own cookie cutters!!) After an hour or so, preheat your oven to 200 degrees C. Lightly grease cookie sheets. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to 1/4 inch in thickness. Cut into skulls with your new D.I.Y cookie cutter. Place cookies 1/2 an inch apart onto your cookie sheet. Bake for 8 - 10 minutes. Remove cookies from baking sheets and cool on wire racks. Cool completely before frosting. Frosting / Decoration Ingredients: 1 tablespoon butter 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups icing sugar 3 tablespoons milk In a small bowl, beat the butter, 1 teaspoon vanilla and icing sugar until smooth. Mix in the milk one tablespoon at a time until a good spreading consistency is reached. Stir in food colouring to desired shade. Decorate cooled cookies, and set on waxed paper to harden. TIPS: - If you can’t find these neat icing writers, you can just make small batches of icing, colour them with food colouring, put them in a small Ziplock bag, and cut a small- hole at the end of the bag, where you can squeeze the icing out of. - If your dough is a little sticky when you remove from fridge, add some flour over it, and play with it until its not too sticky. - Roll your rolling pin and cookie cutter in flour to prevent it from sticking.

Sometimes you need the perfect cookie cutter, but can never find the right one. So here’s how to make your own, for real cheap and little effort!! What you’ll need: Metal Cake Tin Scissors Stapler Print out / drawing of a skull (the size you’d like your cookie)

Cut the edges of the pan into roughly 2 inch strips. Then cut out your skull graphic, and cut a metal piece in the same shape. Take your metal strips and bend them to shape around your metal template. Watch out for sharp edges!! Use the rim of the pan as your bottom edge this will be the part that ‘cuts’ your dough. It’s best to use two pieces as it easier to

Once shaped you can bend the longer peices down to make the cutter a bit stronger. And there you have it. Simple as that. After using your cutter, wash it gently in soapy water.

gig review WORDS BY LAUREN UTTING | PHOTOGRAPHY BY ABEL SCHOLTZ

o this was the first time I was going to expose myself to the magic that is Die Antwoord live. I can’t say I wasn’t a bit excited about the prospect of checking out this uber live act I’d heard so much about. Maybe I was a bit biased from the start- I’d been a massive Waddy fan for many years and had seen him live in the

various incarnations that have formed the backbone of his career from Max Normal to the Constructus Corporation, the Fantastic Kill to Max Normal Tv. The Tings gig was small and intimate and was a great chance to appreciate the band in the heartland of PTA, perhaps the very real home of all that’s zef. If you aren’t familiar with Die Antwoord yet what rock have you been hiding under? Literally. First off this is a group that takes their live show really seriously which is so refreshing considering the SA local

“DIE ANTWOORD IS ONE OF THOSE GROUPS WHERE YOU EITHER GET IT OR YOU DON’T” 28 MARCH 2010

scene sees so many bands who seem to think frontmanship is coming on stage in your t-shirt and jeans, rawkin’ it out with your hair hanging down and this “watch us have our band prac live on stage” attitude. First off Die Antwoord is one of those groups where you either get it or you don’t. Waddy’s zef white trash attitude is totally infectious and surprisingly comes across in a really sincere way, despite the obvious gimmicky-ness of the music. One wonders if anybody else would be able to carry this off as convincingly as he does. Yolandi Visser (like their website says

despite rumours, they’re good friends and not romantically linked) provides a nice sprinkle of Estrogen and butt kicking female attitude and what’s refreshing, is she never falls into the stereotypical role of female back up singer. Tracks like “Enter the Ninja” and “Rich Bitch” showcase her ability to hold her own just as readily on stage as a vocalist and performer. From tracks like “Wat Pomp Julle,” to “Wie Maak Die Jol Vol” and the infamous “Doos Dronk” it’s easy to see what punters in PTA go bos for this stuff. While the gig was surprisingly subdued compared to later gigs I’ve seen of theirs (no Jack Parow appearance, limited visuals etc.) they still managed to pull off a banging gig and the proximity of the audience to a group that’s set to ignite both local and international stages alive in the future is sure to be a rare thing worth remembering. What I liked most of all was that they still took time out at the end of the gig to pose for photos, which just goes to show despite their sure rise to fame, Die Antwoord aren’t easily forgetting their roots.

o say I was totally unprepared for the magnitude of this gig is the under statement of the century. To go from a gig just a month previously of about 70 people to seeing a live venue so insanely packed out, complete with crowd barriers and heavies just goes to show that Die Antwoord are getting bigger than a nose zit at an insanely fast pace. Unsurprisingly even Northern Suburbians are getting in on the zef. One of the things that has to be said about Die Antwoord is just how quickly the sense of anarchy and rebellion these guys can churn out can literally turn an otherwise relatively sedate group of people into a seething mass of abandon and drunken revelry. Looking around is was hard to imagine at R100 a ticket (or R150 at the door- bit steep for a local gig) meant almost nothing given that we were packed in like sardines in a tin can. I took two American friends with and it was hard to really full prep them for that they were about to witness. No matter how hard you try you can never fully get an expat to understand the magic contained in a phrase like “Agh Kak, fokoffpolisie kar!!!” or exactly how many meanings “Jou ma se poes” has. Hence, why we can’t deny Die Antwoord is enjoying the kind of success most local groups only dream of- they have cut through the chaff and seem to be delivering a product

uniquely South African that still manages to be entirely dynamic, multicultural and inclusive. (That and the fact that they were able to pack out a venue this size with an album yet to be released.) For sure, Die Antwoord isn’t for everyone. Their flirtation with sexually explicit material, foul language and a total disregard for most of what your mom would call “acceptable behaviour” is both their high hat and snare so to speak. No middle ground here, no holding backthey call a spade a spade and don’t give a flying Dutchman who may get offended in the process or how. Quite a pleasant change, music for losers rather than what’s formed the focus of a lot of contemporary music nowadays where it’s all about being the bestest, hottest, richest jiffy around. If you can appreciate the concept and the obvious lack of serious emotionally meaningful content and

take it for exactly what it is then you’re guaranteed some A-class entertainment. They pulled out all the stops for this one. The visuals were spectacular, the dynamic

is one of the things that make Die Antwoord a real sensory feast, that and the fact that you just can’t help singing along to “Doos Dronk” which literally bought the rafters down. I

“THEIR FLIRTATION WITH SEXUALLY

EXPLICIT MATERIAL, FOUL LANGUAGE AND A TOTAL DISREGARD IS BOTH THEIR HIGH HAT AND SNARE ” between the band and the audience was electric and the beats surging through the crowd courtesy of DJ Hi-Tech turned the Alexandra Theatre into a full on “Mega Zef Rap Rave” just as the title suggested. I was a bit unnerved that I found it hard to hear the vocals through the total bass onslaught and the fact that the venue seriously was bursting at the seams with punters. I must have had over a 100 people step on my toes. The marriage of visuals and audio

bet no one missed the girl on girl porno stuff that was being screened intermittently with the Basquiat-ish naïve art drawings that have now made up such a big part of Die Antwoord’s visual code. High points included “Beat Boy” (which got so intense at one point with the total onslaught of 3-D strobe visuals and hard house beats it was hard to imagine if the Alexandra Theatre could contain it all) and their encore of the re-working of “Super Evil.” You have to give it to the organizers that the Mega Zef Rap Rave was performed over two nights and ticket options were numerous so JHB fans could really get in on Die Antwoord’s offering before they head off for their European tour in April. Watch this space. These guys are ‘big in Japan’. Check out www.dieantwoord.com for the real experience, downloads, visuals and a chance to hear their upcoming album. Jissus!!!! MARCH 2010

aKING WORDS & PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLEO BLACK

‘ve said it before, and I’ll gladly say it again: CCHQ on the corner of Main Road and Violet, in Primrose, is one of the most beautiful clubs I’ve ever been to. Antiques, art works, masks, instruments and all manner of shiny things adorn the walls and roof. The glass-front cabinets behind the bar hold your attention as you wait for your drinks, and the vintage film posters in the bathroom corridor practically ooze retro appeal. In fact, the whole place is just so dang cool. Add local boys-made-good, aKing to the mix, and you have me on the phone trying my damndest to get my broke ass in. RESULT! Arriving at CC early, so as to avoid the line I was positive we would meet, I was quite surprised to see how empty the venue was. NOT surprisingly though, it soon filled up. The crowd was unusual for a Thursday night at CCHQ (I know this because I practically LIVE there), but I was amped nonetheless. In true South African fashion, the gig started half an hour late, but in the long run, it was worth the wait. Laudo(vocals/ guitar) and Henno(vocals/bass) took the stage at last...but I was a little disappointed to see them toting electric instruments(and a kick drum, which looked rather lost by itself ), as opposed

30 MARCH 2010

to acoustic ones. My disappointment didn’t last long...both guys have fantastic voices, even live, and their harmonies were pitch perfect, which is NOT an easy feat. I’m a writer, so naturally lyrics are a pretty huge part of how I rate a band...aKing are, in my opinion, aces in that department, which is extremely impressive seeing as the entire band is first language Afrikaans. My personal favourite, “Safe as Houses” proves my point rather well, I do declare...although the live, unplugged version was a liiiittle shaky. The only fault I could really find with

this particular gig, was the irritating blonde next to me who kept yelling, “aKing! aKIIIIIIIING!!”, like she was convinced they’d forget who they were if she shut up for a second...I think maybe I’m getting old. Or maybe my tolerance for irritating groupies is just not what it used to be. Either way, aKing was worth the price of my blood pressure going through the roof...’nuff said. CHECK OUT WHAT’S HAPPENING AT CCQH CELLARDOOR THURSDAYS ON FACEBOOK: The Cellardoor AND FIND OUT WHERE YOU CAN SEE AKING NEXT ON FACEBOOK: aKING

WORDS BY MICHELLE OTTEN | PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNO VAN DER WESTHUIZEN

lthough the show had already started 15 minutes prior to our arrival, there was still what seemed like an endless queue outside. From the end of the line you could hear the music blaring from within the Hartenbos City Hall; Die Heuwels Fantasties were the first on stage. The queue moves surprisingly fast and when you’re inside, all you can hear are music and sound of hundreds of people singing along. The atmosphere was and everyone was in the mood for a rocking show. A few songs into Die Heuwels Fantasties’s performance, Francois van Coke was invited on stage to sing with the lead vocalist, Pierre, and the audience went absolutely nuts.

That was more than enough to get everyone hyped for Van Coke Kartel, who were up next. The moment they stepped on stage, the action began. Francois van Coke and Wynand Myburgh make an incredibly amazing musical team, and drummer Justin Kruger seems born to be in that band. Next up were aKing. Performing hits such as The Dance and Safe As Houses, this melodic pop-rock band kicked ass with Laudo’s heartfelt voice. The grand finale, the one thing everyone had been waiting for, of course, was the mighty Fokofpolisiekar. Unless you have seen them live before (and if you haven’t, seriously, what’s wrong with you??), you could not possibly comprehend how amazing ‘die bende’ is live. Every pore of Francois’ body oozes energy, with him going crazy and jumping around onstage. Wynand is just as energetic, jumping from every surface he can find, and playing his little heart out. The interaction between those two is amazing, and, although Johnny and Hunter are more reserved, Francois brings a few smiles out of them in between the solos. After the hit Fokofpolisiekar, the band bid us farewell, only to be summoned back onstage by the crowd cheering ‘We want more!’. With Johnny on acoustic guitar, Francois performs Tiny Town as the encore song, making your flesh curl with the

sheer beauty of his voice and the lyrics. After more than six years of being together, Fokof show no signs of slowing down, and give 110% with every gig. WWW.VANFOKKINGTASTIES.CO.ZA

MARCH 2010

review

WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA PHOTOGRAPHY BY WILLIAM COLLINSON

RED FIVE POINT STAR | HOG HOGGIDY HOG | SUBMACHINE | TV IV DOGS |GROSS MISCONDUCT | 2ND GUESS’D | THE REVENANTS ADMITTEDLY, THE PUNK SCENE IN JOHANNESBURG IS SMALL, BUT I CAN SAY THAT IT CONTAINS SOME PRETTY DEDICATED OCCUPANTS. FOR A FEW YEARS, IT SEEMED LIKE PUNK IN JOZI WAS DYING. ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE SAW BANDS WITH THE LIKES OF GROSS MISCONDUCT, MISLED AND THE VENDETTA CARTEL RISE FROM THE ASHES TO

34 MARCH 2010

RECLAIM THEIR RIGHTFUL POSTS AS PIONEERS OF THE SCENE. 2010 LOOKS LIKE A GREAT YEAR FOR

LOCAL PUNK, STARTING WITH RD FIVE POINT STAR’S RETURN TO SA.

missed RED FIVE POINT STAR on their first tour here, so when I find out they were coming back for more I was stoked. Add to that an incredible lineup, and I was sold. Genevive Twoco of UNDERGROUND PRESS contacted me about interviewing bands at the gig, and off to Westdene I went. The venue chosen was our beloved BACK2BASIX in Westdene, which seems to be making a huge comeback with gig bookings. Althought smallish, this place has hosted the likes of Fokofpolisiekar and Koos Kombuis. Upon arrival, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the beer garden was open and a designated place for like-minded alkies to hang out. Michael Way was my cameraman for the day, and we bounced around from group to group doing interviews, with extra takes as the night (and

alcohol flow) unraveled. I arrived just in time for GROSS MISCONDUCT, who are definitely a band to watch this year. The boys have been hard at work and all those hours in Bradley’s (drums) dad’s workshop with all that beer has payed off. They added a sick cover of Rise Against on the bill, which made the crowd go mad. Submachine were up next with their Voodoo beats and crazy drummer(s). That band has enough personality for a small thirdworld country, with slick musicians like Huey Voodoo (ex SLASHDOGS), Evil D, Pat Riot (of THE CAVALIER), and Kevin S Flee and Storm( of The Death Valley Blues Band). Cape Town ska legends, The Hogs, entertained us with their sing-along athems. Although I grew up to this band, they never fail to disappoint – on top of their game as musicians and performers at every single

gig. It’s rare to find a band that is not jaded nowadays, but The Hogs’s heads are firmly on their shoulders as they do what they do best – rock! Red Five Pint Star were the last band on the bill and I was blown away. I like to think that it is because they are Eastern European, but that band rocks nevertheless. Having been together for over a decade, these guys have their live shows down to an art. And I have to say, I’m addicted to those Solvenians’ mixture of ska, swing, rockabilly and jazz, Big thanks to George Bacon for putting up with every take on his interview, Keith from Chronic Events for hooking us up, Genevive Twoco for the belief that I can interview and Mike Way for being my trusty camera man.

MARCH 2010

WORDS BY CLEO BLACK | PHOTOGRAPHY BY OLIVIA MORTIMER

’ll be honest; up until a few weeks ago I had no idea who Johnny Foreigner were. Not a clue in the world. And let me tell you, my life (and music collection) is better off because I found out. After having heard countless indie bands that sound the same, act the same, and, despite their greatest efforts to the contrary, wind up looking the same, the decidedly unpretentious and original trio from Birmingham were like a gigantic, ice cold beer in the desert. Kelly (vocals/ bass), Junior (vocals/drums) and Alexei (vocals/guitar) are 3 rather smashing young things who like to make music, and to hell with all of you who think you can’t have fun while doing it. In Pretoria, it seems, you get pretty damn good value for money. The line-up was packed (Kodiac, Sticky Antlers, Wrestlerish, Nathan Scott

You guys are from Birmingham yeah? That’s a relatively small place. What’s it like for a band from a small-ish UK town to suddenly be touring huge venues like the Bowery Ballroom in the US? Alexei: Well it’s all just kind of surreal. I just sat by myself in the venue for like an hour before the show, and I had all these whorey old American guys with beards coming up to me and saying, “ You’re gonna rock the house tonight maaan! ARE you gonna rock the house?” And I was just like, “I’m from England, so I don’t know... possibly? I’ll try my best.” You guys were signed to Laundrette Record... Kelly: Yeah, we did our first two releases, 7”, with them. It’s just a little one man, attic studio in Sheffield... Alexei: We did our first album in Hoboken and our second in Brooklyn though. Why is that? Kelly: Cos it’s better than England! Haha...

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Philips, Isochronous, Meet Joe, Sassquatch and Rodney Roodt) with the great, the ok, and the just plain, “What the hell?” My top two acts (the sublime Johnny Foreigner not included) of the evening were without doubt PTA’s Wrestlerish, and CTN’s Isochronous - both bands were easily on the same level as the visitors from the UK they were supporting.

And you guys are now signed with Best Before records. Why the move? Alexei: Well, I mean, they offered us money when we had none...haha, so we were kind of like “FOOD!” Kelly: Yeah, and from the start, they said to us, “You can do this, you can do that...” They gave us a lot of creative freedom, even if it meant them going into debt. They just wanted to help us do well. So this is the first time in SA for all of you, am I right? Junior: Well I was here a few years ago, for a holiday... Pretoria, Joburg and Cape Town Pretoria? On holiday? Well you sure got screwed... Junior: Haha... it was great. A friend that I work with in the UK invited me to come with him and catch up with his family down here. We just had LOADS of parties the entire time. Drove to CTN...

Half an hour before their set, I disappeared into “the house” behind the stage to have a little tete a tete (but with 3 people, not two) with Johnny Foreigner.

DROVE from here to CTN? I’m so sorry. Junior: It was long, but it was really beautiful. We had a little starlight stop in the Karoo... you people really don’t appreciate your own country! Not nearly enough hey. All the visitors we get from overseas seem to think that we wear loincloths and ride elephants to work every day.! Were you surprised at what you found? Musically, the country has grown a lot in the last few years. Was it a shock that people actually know your songs and who you are? Alexei: It’s amazing, and weird that people know us here. Your music industry is coming from such a unique perspective; you have all the best parts of the punk vibe, you know, BEFORE the majors came along and screwed it up. I mean, it took us a week to figure out that the friends we had made here were sort of famous. Everything’s on such a small scale and everybody knows each other. It’s what we wish England was, but isn’t. You’re very lucky.

I think what stands out to me the most about your music is that you both (Kelly and Alexi) do lead vocals. Is it ever a power struggle about who sings what when? Alexei: No, not at all. If anything, it’s a battle to get her to sing more! Kelly, I find that in general, female bassists are regarded as an advertising gimmick, and bass is thought of as a “guy’s instrument”. What’s it like for you? DO you get a lot of flack? Kelly: Well, I’ve been in bands with guys before... after a while; you don’t really even notice their sex anymore. Was it from a commercial standpoint then, that you guys wanted me in the band? Haha... Alexei: Well she was pretty much the only bassist I knew! And a good singer...

I know you guys just played Stellenbosch. How was that? Alexei: Really good response...it’s so strange that we haven’t put out a record here, but people still know the words to our songs. It just shows you how switched on people are here. Kelly: It’s really really flattering. Where are you off to next? Alexei: Roxy’s tomorrow night, then Ramfest in Cape Town... Kelly: And then we lose our passports and stay here FOREVER! What would you say the highlight of South Africa has been for you, so far? Junior: I think just people actually knowing who we are! Haha!

And performance wise? Who have you enjoyed most? Kelly: Kidofdoom for sure. We just sat there and watched them in awe. Ok, final words? Junior: We’re just really amped to play!

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MARCH 2010

WORDS BY CLEO BLACK | PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLEO BLACK AND CATHERINE LOUW

s gigs go, I’m keeping a rather low profile these days. The same bands, at the same venues, week in and week out have me just plain BUMMED with the music industry in our country. And, being that I’m not the biggest supporter of Hallmark holidays (AHEM, February 14th, AHEM), I was planning on staying in on that black weekend, to wallow shamelessly in self-pity, and eat way too much chocolate. But then I heard that Dirty Dirty and the Alexander Theatre were konkeling behind the scenes, planning something; something BIG. Something that drew even the most dedicated hermit from the comfort of her warm bed on the evening of the 13th of February... SCREAM! DIRTY! love (or as I have begun to refer to it, SCREAM!S WEATY! love). On the cards for the night were The City Bowl Mizers, Desmond and the Tutus and Sweat X. A

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killer line-up indeed, and one I was NOT keen to miss. So I donned my suspenders and fishnets, slapped on WAY too much red lipstick and black eye shadow (the theme for the party was “twisted love”) and prepared to boogie. When I arrived at the Alex Theatre in town, it seemed like that party was going on outside. Discovering, to my dismay, that I seemed to be the only person who had actually dressed to theme (yes, once again it was “let’s all laugh at Cleo” time.) I beat a hasty path to the door, hoping to hide my scantily clad self in the crowd in the foyer. As soon as I walked through the front doors, I understood why the party was going on outside: it was like having a hot, wet blanket chucked over your face... or getting off a plane in Durban. Regardless, everybody was greeting friends, and buzzing about the bands. First to grace the stage were the City

Bowl Mizers, who probably felt more at home in JHB that they ever had before. Despite feeling like a human radiator, the Mizers made me want to party like it was 1999, as always. I’d say this was probably the best Mizers show I’ve seen... the band is finally getting the recognition they deserve outside of Durban. Keep your ears open for their latest single, Cancun, on 5fm. After sealing a beer cup off the bar, and downing about a gallon of water, I headed outside to cool down before the next band... ironically that was Sweat X. What I caught of the set was fun enough, but not with as big a turnout as I had expected. I’ve never seen Sweat X perform live before, and I have to admit that I wasn’t entirely blown away. Tight production and a super cool stage presence made the set worthwhile to watch though. But my favourite part, undeniably, was the dancing girls with

DISCOVERING THAT I SEEMED TO BE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAD ACTUALLY DRESSED TO THEME, I BEAT A HASTY PATH TO THE DOOR, HOPING TO HIDE MY SCANTILY CLAD SELF IN THE CROWD IN THE FOYER

the awesome sneakers. Those girls don’t waste what their mammas gave them, they shake it like pros! By that time of the evening, it had gotten so hot inside the foyer that the glass front doors had fogged up entirely! So outside I went, and outside I stayed, until I was dead sure that I could hear Desmond and the Tutus getting their groove on inside. As expected, I had to push through a hot, tightly packed, MASSIVE crowd to get to the stage. I made it the front just in time for German Modern), and from there on in the set was a jumping, dancing, shouting, head shaking, sweat fest. The Tutus played the best set I’ve heard in a long time, with just the right balance of new and old tunes. I can say with some certainty that Shane Durant’s (vocals) short shorts were the most talked about piece of clothing the entire evening... and it wasn’t the girls talking. (Shane, if your shorts go missing, I have a few numbers for you to call). Dripping with sweat, convinced that I had a mild case of whiplash (for this I blame Desmond), and all partied put,

I happily headed home to sleep through that pimple of a day on the face of my calendar, February the 14th. Alex Theatre, Dirty Dirty and all involved, GOOD ON YOU... let’s do it again sometime.

MARCH 2010

WORDS BY LAUREN WHEATLEY

ou may remember Charlyne as the goofy stoner girl from Knocked Up but despite her small role in the movie, Charlyne is an accomplished comedienne and artist, musician, writer and actress. She was born in 1986 in Los Angeles, California and got her exotic looks from her Filipino/Spanish mother and Korean/Native American father. She attended the University of California before leaving to pursue full-time stand up comedy. Yi began by performing in Fontana, California. She has since performed shows in Los Angeles at The Steve Allen Theatre, and The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. In 2005 and 2006 she performed in the New York Comedy Festival and in 2007 HBO’s U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado. Yi’s film debut was on June 1, 2007 in Judd Apatow’s 2007 film, Knocked Up. In 2009 she made her screenwriting debut when she wrote, co-produced and co-starred in the

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movie ‘Paper heart’, playing a fictionalized version of herself, and co-starring Michael Cera (Superbad) The film won the ‘Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award’ at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival. The film follows Yi on her quest to understand love, and has been named a ‘hybrid documentary’ with its unique blend of fiction and non-fiction content. The film is based on a fictionalized relationship between herself and Cera, who she has been rumoured to have dated, but which has been denied by both parties. Charlyne also has a budding music career, as one half of the music duo The Glass Beef, the other member of which being Paul Rust, who played the male lead in the 2009 comedy, I love you, Beth Cooper. Their album, The Farewell Album debuted in 2006 and was produced by Tenacious D bassist, John Spiker.

- Despite people’s disbelief, her favourite film of all time is ‘Beautician and the Beast’ - She repeatedly denies it but she is rumoured to have dated Michael Cera - She admits that she’s “really bad at talking” - Charlyne’s live performances include music, magic, games and audience participation as opposed to conventional stand-up comedy acts. - She and Paper heart co-star, Michael Cera, lied to the crew working on the film, making Cera out to be a diva that insisted on having raisins everyday while on set.

[ IN THEIR OWN WORDS]

WORDS B Y CLEO B

LACK | P HOTOG

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RAPHY B Y CATHER

INE LOUW

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WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

48 MARCH 2010

WORDS BY CLEO BLACK | PHOTOGRAPHY BY CATHERINE LOUW | LAYOUT BY NORBERT HAJDU

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTELLE DUVENAGE LAYOUT BY JEN ROOMES

Having been Zombie for nearly 26 years now I’ve had lots of Killer experiences & near death ones too! Let’s start with my favourite: MMMMMMOOOOOSIC! I joined my ﬁrst Band when I was about 13 Zombie years. Members included: Jay (my twin brutha, who rocks The Cavalier & Pistolwhip) on drums & “Madonna mic” backing vocals, CRS Bherens (also now a Cavalier) on guitar & lead vox and Me, your favourite, on Bass & backing vocals. Our band, Pubertywon, had a pretty good run –we played house parties & clubs like The Purple Turtle in Boksburg & Bugseys in Randburg - on school nights!! It was awesome!! Later members also included PeteE (also a Cavalier) on lead vocals. We rocked out with bands like: Ill Audio, New World Inside, Fuzigish, Fatigue, Jessica Rabbit, Model F1, Gross Misconduct, Gorlock, Anti-Social, Harvey2Face & Humphrey The Teacup... and probably a few more.... aaah memories!! Hard to think you can still have them after your dead.

other... going out photographing bands, eating brains, breathing music & drinking blood, I discovered a giant need in the scene – a need for kustom made kool klothes. So the following year I wrongfully enrolled in fashion school. That same year I joined an all girl surf band called The Kosmonauts. I designed and helped make the uber kool space outﬁts & we rocked out with Pestroy, Fuzigish, Beaver Fever (from Australia) and a bunch of other rad local bands. A few months later I left the grrls and joined 1 of my all time favourite ska bands Ill Audio.

In 2002 an outbreak occurred and I was sent into quarantine, in a lil town on the outskirts of the earth called Stellenbosch... and thus had to leave the band. Alas, Pubertywon continued without me and became the Blood Puppets, who became End Of My Leave (EOML), who became THE CAVALIER – who make me jealous because they are soo amazing and are sponsored by JAGERMEISTER!!! BASTARDS!!! Back in the land of Quarantine I was still playing bass, plotting world domination & sewing the seeds of Psychobilly to those around me. If I made it out alive I vowed to rock the world harder than before... 6 months & 180 litres of Spin later I was released & returned to jhb-Homeburg & started tracking down people to jam with immediately.

The rise of Ill Audio happened pretty quickly, we played tons of rad shows with sooo many rad bands – but it just wasn’t meant to be. Somewhere deep within my Zombie soul an upright psychobilly bass was dying to be played.

At the start of the new year, I enrolled in the National College OF Zombie Photography & got my diploma a year later. That year was more inspirational than any

In the meantime, I was slaving away at fashion school & gathering all the skills & tools I would need to start the revolution of the Kustom Klothing era & thus Smells

Like Psycho was born. I eventually completed my 3 years & got me a diploma in Fashion Design By March of 2008, plans were set in motion & all the necessary actions were being taken to get a Killer Kustom Klothing range out. Buying machines, doing patterns, finding places to source fabric ( for those of you who don’t know, people at the Plaza aren’t very nice to Pink headed Zombie grrls), & just getting a general feel for the industry... and let me tell u its gd hard!!! Ok, long story short... I love klothes. I can never find any klothes I wanna buy. Nothing fits rad or looks good or is made of PVC ( I loooooove PVC!!!!aaah... have I mentioned that?!) Therefore the only logical thing for me to do – was to start a clothing label. A label that catered to specific needs. A label that was different from the mass produced bollox. A label that made unique pieces of klothing that helped people become who they are on the inside and were yearning to be on the outside. A label without regulations and rules - well, we have 1 rule : WE DO’NT

DO PLAIN!! If you didn’t get that the first time let me repeat that for you:!!!!WE DOOOOONT DO PLAIN!!!!! By October the same year, I opened the SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO Kustom Klothing BOO-TIQUE!! We had a rad partay on the opening day – bands played, drinks were flowing & general Zombie chaos ensued- it was aaawsum! The concept of the Smells Like Psycho store is more of a showroom than shop - where other zombies, ghouls, ghoulinas & some normal people too, can come see & buy the latest outfits & klothing available – while looking at the other rad merchandise, shoes, hosiery & accessories. You can also get measured up for your own designer outfit, choose fabric or kustom design existing pieces to suit your own specific requirements. There are also lots of rad things to see and do. You can try stuff on in the1 of a kind designer Koffin change room. Look at the all the rad

new stuff in the display cabinet. Have a drink with me on the koffin bench – while we look at all the new types of PVC. Meet & hang out with the boys from The Cavalier – their band house is next door & our shared band room is only a few feet away- so there are always tons of rad people about & interesting stuff going down! Because Smells Like Psycho is soo heavily focused on the mmmmmmusic, we not only stock & sell band merch – we also help bands Kustom design merch to suit their specific needs. We can do Tees, wifebeaters, wallets, bags, belts, guitar straps, drum stool covers, pillow cases... if you can think it – we can make it! We also have in house silkscreen facilities so we can do everything from conceptualising and designing the merch to executing the final production. We also know & understand the constraints of being in a SA band, so we cater to every budget & are able to do small runs. 2009 saw the height of Smells Like Psycho, thus far: We have been running for just over a year & have managed to grow quite nicely. It was also the year of PISTOLWHIP45!!! My brother Jay & I put the word on the street that we were looking for other psychos & Zombies to jam with us & about 2months later, thanx to a Mr.Machete we were introduced to Jade & Fran & PISTOLWHIP45 was BORN!!! Pistolwhip 45 is the first Psychobilly band in the land!! It consists of: Jade on Lead VOX & mad mooves! Jay Glampire on Guitarr Groans & Psycho Moans & MeRiot Grrl, Rocking the Upright & raising the dead

with my Blood Curdling Screams!! We are also lucky enough to have the multi talented PAT ZOMBIE RIOT (from Cavalier & Submachine) guest drumming for us @ the moment!!! We played our very ﬁrst show in July 2009 with awesome rockabilly rockstars Reverend Wright & The Mystery Train Gamblers and Rambling Bones. The show was sic sic sic & we got an amazing review from FHM & things have only got better! So far we also played with Martin Rocka, The Vendettas, Last Bout, The Cavalier, Gross Misconduct, The Slashdogs, Misled, Cortina Whiplash & a few other bands. We have played all over Jhb, had a really good tour to Bloemfontein & have been invited to play Durban!! There are huge plans in the zombieline for next year including Thornfest, a trip to Cape Town & very VERY possibly a recording!!! Whoop!!Whoop!!! Wag!!!! Other than the mind blowing soul stirring mmmooosic, our shows are always a partay because we always have a Smells Like Psycho stall... selling secrets, skulls, spells, psycho stuff, merch (Rad PW45 Wife & Manbeaters, button badges & bandanas), tees, belts, jewellery, buttons & other kool SLP stuff!! If there’s anything on the web you would like to see or try on - either howl at me or the moon & we shall bring it along to the show!! The PISTOLWHIPPING WILL CONTINUE TILL CHAOS IS INFLICTED & THE MASSES ARE INFECTED! See all you Psychos in HELLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

For PW45: pistolwhip45neverdie@gmail.com or join our facebook group PISTOLWHIP 45! For PW45: pistolwhip45neverdie@gmail.com or join & theThe facebook group 45! Upcoming Shows: 16 Jan with Misled, The Vendettas Revenants @ PISTOLWHIP THE BOHEMIAN For PW45: pistolwhip45neverdie@gmail.com or join the facebook group PISTOLWHIP 45! R30! & 29th Jan @ Thornfest! Where: The Smells Like Psycho headquarters are located at 19 Argyl Street, Germiston, JHB. Visits are by appointment only. Web/Emal/Phone: Visit www.smellslikepsycho.com or mail me at smellslikepsycho@gmail.com or call me on 083 450 8807. Where to ﬁnd Smells Like Psycho stock: Rogue Ink Custom Tattoos: rogueinktattoo@gmail.com T: 076 914 703 Location: Shop 18, Stone Arch Square, Sunstone Rd, Castleview Germiston

WHERE TO FIND SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO STOCK:

Spooky Tattoons: spookytattoonz@gmail.com T: 082 953 4025 & 082 953 4025 Location: 44 Stanley Ave, Milpark

The Steam Room (PTA): mischa.els@gmail.com T: 082 384 6829 Location: HotBox Studios, 1072 Schoeman Street, Pretoria Rockabilly (Bloemfontein): Located at the Waterfront Free Delivery of any products to the stores mentioned above. 2 MARCH 2010

dia de los LOCATION: LINDEN, JHB. MODELS: CHRIS BEHERS (THE CAVALIER) & DIAZ SUICIDE (SUICIDEGIRLS.COM). STYLISTS: RIOT GRRL (AKA CHRISTINE WILTON) & TAMARA SUN. MAKEUP: TAMARA SUN. CREATIVE DIRECTOR: TINA KOULISHEVA. PHOTOGRAPHER: CHRISTELLE DUVENAGE. PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT: ARNO VAN DER WESTHUIZEN. CATERING: EL MACHETE.

El Día de los Muertos, AKA Day of the Dead, is a holiday celebrated in Mexico, and focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. Traditions connected with the holiday include building private altars honoring the deceased using sugar skulls, marigolds, and the favorite foods and bever-

ages of the departed, and visiting graves with these as gifts. People go to cemeteries to communicate with the souls of the departed, and build private altars, containing the favorite foods and beverages, as well as photos and memorabilia, of the departed. The intent is to encourage visits by the souls, so that the souls will hear the prayers and

the comments of the living directed to them. Celebrations can take a humorous tone, as celebrants remember funny events and anecdotes about the departed. A common symbol of the holiday is the skull, which celebrants represent in masks, called calacas and foods such as sugar or chocolate skulls, which are inscribed with the name of the recipient

on the forehead. Sugar skulls are gifts that can be given to both the living and the dead. Other holiday foods include pan de muerto, a sweet egg bread made in various shapes, from plain rounds to skulls and rabbits, for celebrating this “fiesta” often decorated with white frosting to look like twisted bones.

WWW.SMELLSLIKEPSYCHO.COM WWW.TOXICCANDY.CO.ZA

s muertos

DIAZ WEARS: DRESS, (R280), NECKLACE (R80), HAIR CLIP (R29.95), ALL FROM TOXIC CANDY. GLOVES AND SHOES, STYLIST’S OWN.

CHRIS WEARS: jACKET (PRICE ON REQUEST), PISTOLWHIP45 WIFEBEATER (R110), SKINNY JEANS (R400), BELT (R150) AND TUK SNEAKER CREEPERS (R666), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO.

DIAZ WEARS: TOP (R250), TIGHTS WITH ZIP DETAIL (R220). SPIDE WEB BAG (R250), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO. CHRIS WEARS : VENDETTA CARTEL TEE (R150), BELT (R300), SKINNIES (R350). TUK SNEAKER CREEPERS (R666), CLEAVER NECKLACE (R150), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO.

CHRIS WEARS: PISTOLWHIP45 WIFEBEARER (R110,) SKINNIES (R350), ZOMBIE TUK SNEAKER CREEPERS (R666), CLEAVER NECKLACE (R150), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO. BLACK HAT (140), TOXIC CANDY. DIAZ WEARS: HOODIE (R400) , BIKINI TOP (R120), & HOT PANTS WITH SILVER PYRAMID STUD DETAIL (R300), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO. NECKLACE AND SHOES, STYLIST’S OWN.

CHRIS WEARS: TEE (R100), RANCID BANDANA (R150), BELT (R150), SKINNIES WITH BONDAGE STRAPS (R400)., ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO. DIAZ WEARS: TOP (R120), PVC SKIRT (R300), BELT (R150), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO.

DIAZ WEARS: DRESS (R350), CORSET (PRICE ON REQUEST), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO, EARRINGS (R29.95), TOXIC CANDY. CHRIS WEARS: SHIRT (R350), SKINNY JEANS (R400), ALL FROM SMELLS LIKE PSYCHO. HAT (R140), TOXIC CANDY. SHOES, MODEL’S OWN.

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MARCH 2010

WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLARE FOXCROFT WILLIAMS

Working the door of the 2010 Southern Ink Exposure Tattoo Convention on its opening afternoon gave me a large amount of insight to the kinds of people attending (or considering attending) the convention. There were those who pre-booked their weekend tickets, some of whom were familiar faces from the pre-convention events, waited in anticipation at the coffee shop opposite the entrance for the doors to open, asking every half hour or so with excited faces. Some of these came armed with thousands of rands to invest 72 MARCH 2010

in their next piece of artwork from a touring artist. Others came down from other parts of SA to have work done with their long-time/ favourite artists, such as The Vergeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tattooed beauty Pippa Tshabalala. There were those allfamiliar tattoo voyeurs, pretty much wanting to know how much a ticket to the circus was. These fell into 2 groups: The rich and stupid ones, who paid for their tickets but left 10 minutes later, having seen and been shocked by real, heavily tattooed people, even women, happily walking around and not hiding in

designated shame-cages. The other type would flinch at the mention of R120 for a day pass, who clearly had never been initiated with the costs involved in the rewarding but costly pastime that is tattoo collecting. Inside, there were many different types of people getting inked to various degrees, from the poppies you knew in high school, getting tiny tramp stamps, to middleaged tannies having permanent eyeliner and lipstick tattooed on. It was great to see lots of women getting inked this year, from the aforementioned to one hard-

as-nails tiny bombshell taking on the undeniably powerful hand and tattoo gun of the legendary Paul Booth, to the thighs no less, who was seen limping around afterwards but not without the admiration and envy of everyone at the convention. Artist wise, there were a few new features as well as familiar faces from last year. Paul Booth was back again this year after just about reducing men to tears at SIX 2009 with his haunting pieces executed with the serious stare of the artist, and at every moment surrounded by at least a dozen

admirers. Also returning was the extraordinary Laura Juan (Spain), whose rich colour and fine photo-realistic detail caught my eye last year, as well as the friendly artists of Nine Lives (Germany). Other international artists included Mykie Rice (Canada), Tom Tattoo (Italy) and White Trash Matt (US). Local stalls included industry long-timers Metal Machine and Wildfire, as well as thhe well-respected guns of Tyler B Murphy’s Sins of Style trio and Milo “Mr Lucky” Marcer, an a variety of parlours from around the country such as Spooky Tattoonz of JHB and East Coast Kustoms of PE. The range of merchandise was wider than last year, with Miss Happ’s (Cape Town) vintage pin-up inspired range coming back with more stock, accessories and even pinup styled mod-

els showing off the range in full style, as well as a free workshop on doing Pinup/ Rockabilly inspired hairstyles. This year’s new stalls included Royal Vendetta, Be-Kind Collective (both Capetonian) and Smells Like Psycho of JHB. Also featured at the stalls were SA Hotrods, Harley Davidson with the attached crowd of Hells Angels and local tattoo/ piercing suppliers 2evolve. For those who still had energy after a long day of walking around or getting tattooed, there were 2 after-parties over the Friday (Mercury Live) and Saturday (The Assembly) which weekend pass holders had free access to, featuring Cape Town’s most popular acts such as Jack Parow, The Rudimentals and Damn Right. Saturday’s show at The Assembly included on-stage burlesque performances be-

tween sets from Cape Town’s own Black Orchid Burlesque troupe dancers. It was a busy night with the artists having a great time and much socialising between artists and tattoo fanatics alike. All in all the organisers Manuela (Wildfire Tattoos) and Allan Gray did a great job of extending the reach of the stalls this year, and the sponsors and other features were much more prominent. I think next year’s convention will be an even bigger success and I look forward to next year, and finally getting that prized piece done.

MARCH 2010

IN JANUARY, THE VIXXEN TEAM AND CO WERE LUCKY ENOUGH TO ATTEND THE MOTHER OF ALL FESTIVALS - SOMETHING THAT WE HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE, WITH A LINEUP TO MAKE YOU CRY. WHAT FOLLOWS IS THE MISADVENTURES OF STICKY STELLA, CLEO BLACKEYE, MALINDI CYBORG STRYDOM AND TINA TERMINATOR AT THORNFEST 2010.

After months of anticipation about. She had to (only after and salivating over the line-up, talking to George, not accepting it had finally arrived... and if it my photographic proof ) admit depended on me I would have that she was wrong about when been there from the day before. the Hogs had played and I was Luckily I have friends who still happy! hold some impressions of sanity For some reason the notion and no sense of time and only exists that “the best bands” only arrived late Thursday afternoon play later during the day/night, to a tolerable amount of sunrays leaving you with the impresand long, stretched out shadsion that the first bands to play ows. The tents were immediately aren’t usually that great, or that pitched and we awarded our they are unknown. NOT THE proficient efforts with a couple CASE! I spent the rest of the day of cold beers. Our Thornfest mis- (as I knew I would most of the sion had officially begun! days to come) at the Stand Firm After wandering the grounds Music Stage. The line-up was a little, inspirational and I delighted “TOO MANY GREAT couldn’t recall the at the great last music festival BANDS! TOO LITTLE with a stage dediamount of familiar and TIME!” cated to the type of friendly faces, music I loved and we realised we had forgotten enjoyed (I think it was possibly our printed out line-up at home, Woodstock 3 or 4, maybe 5). The and after what seemed to have Car Boot Vendors kicked off the been more of a mission than antics at this stage and although what it should have been, finally I have heard a lot about them, found the new and improved I have never seen them play. line-up. I find it important to What a great band! I loved mention the changed line-up, every moment of their set and since at a later stage during the couldn’t believe it had taken me weekend, our loving editor with that long to see them play. They her I’m-never-wrong terminator were followed by the Revenants ways, had to learn (after arguing and then our cover girl’s band with me extensively) the hard PistolWhip45. At this point in way that sometimes Christelle time I became aware of the fact DOES know what she is talking that the sound wasn’t so great.

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WORDS BY CHRISTELLE DUVENAGE, CLEO BLACK & TINA KOULISHEVA | PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTELLE DUVENAGE, CLEO BLACK AND MALINDI STRYDOM

I am aware that sound at such a big festival is never an easy task, so it didn’t bother me too much (my sound technician ignorance maybe?). It didn’t take away from my experience. During The Otherwise I had to listen to my friend rave over the pretty little lady playing in The Death Valley Blues Band (also featured this month), and how we could not miss their set. Really, what were the chances? We hadn’t moved from the stage except for refills. And those went quick… too many great bands! Too little time! The last band to have played for the night was Juggernaught, and they left me so energized and amped up for the rest of the weekend that I didn’t know I how I was ever going to fall asleep (which I really do love doing, contrary to popular

belief ). Around 2am my friend decided that it was time for bed and he literally grabbed myself and my friend Michelle’s hands and dragged us back to camp (wtf Marnus!?!) where we (quite surprisingly) fell asleep without struggle or hesitation. I’m sure it lay in the realisation that Friday was soon to come. What an amazing first day!

As I left work on Friday afternoon, I could already feel my spirits lifting out of the muck and mire that is a work week in JHB. That is, until I stepped outside and into the downpour. Glorious. Nonetheless, four very excited girls crammed themselves, their high hopes, and large quantities of wine into a car called Lulu, and off we went. Some intense traffic, Afrikaans electro and good old fashioned rock n roll later, we had arrived. At last! Up went the tents (with no small amount of difficulty, and a lot of help from Marnus), down came

the drizzle and on went the gumboots. Malindi and I being united with Stella called for celebration, in the form of beer, naturally... so our first stop was the Cool Runnings tent. After a not so brief pause for photos, refreshment and reunions with friends, it was off to the Stand Firm stage for the ever -so-sexy sounds of The Cavalier. Those boys never disappoint, and this gig was no exception. Shiny pants, and pink bikini tops worn by drunken men abounded. Roses are Dead, Heartbreak is True had the crowd (mostly girls, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll admit) singing along (and drooling), and dancing their hearts out. The Hogs, local ska kings and legendary coverers of Jonny Clegg songs were next on my list of bands to see. Luckily I made it to the set JUST in time to catch Spirit of the Great Heart, one of the only songs that can make me feel

both happy AND patriotic at the same time. Off to the Black Dahlia stage for Enmity and Kill the Messenger we toddled, only to find darkness, despair and VERY irritated Capetonians. The generator had konked out somehow or other, and there was no spare. At about 10 or 11, the situation had been remedied, but the list of bands waiting to play had gotten a little out of hand. Schedules had to be shuffled, and I would have to wait till tomorrow to see Enmity. Happy that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to force my eyes open any longer, Malindi and myself headed to the tent for some shuteye... with one pool lounger mattress and ONE single sleeping bag(well done to Leigh for forgetting the double!) between us, sleep was not going to come easy.

MARCH 2010

I don’t think it’s overdramatic to say that Friday night was THE most uncomfortable night of my life. By 5:50 pm we were wide awake. Afraid of what lay in wait for us outside the confines of our not so warm and comfy tent, we decided to be brave, and unzip... BIG mistake. Met with freezing wind and slate gray skies, the only thing for it was a nice warm shower... one which would have to wait until we returned to our respective homes. Upon arriving at the bathroom, we found a long line on extremely unimpressed girls lamenting the hot water situation; turned out there was none. CURSES! So dirty, but not disheartened, we set off in search of tea, and after that more beer. At this point, I

“ANYBODY GOT A BEER I CAN FINISH?” would like to say that what I love most about festivals is the range of characters you find at them. We were fortunate enough to experience a REAL festival gem,

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the “Still Drunk Guy”, as we sat in the cold early morning light sipping our zamelek and groggily planning our day. He stumbled past, with a bra on his head, and slurred, “Anybody got a beer I can finish?” Stella and I reacted as any beer drinkers would, by clutching our cups closer to our chests and throwing dirty looks. Malindi, the sanity in our trio, laughed and calmly sent him on his way. As the morning wore on and heads gradually popped out of tents or out from behind bushes, the sun decided to come out and play. Clothes were changed and lunch (along with yet MORE beer) was sought. At last! Speakers began to crackle as the first sound guys of the day did their checks. Band number one on our agenda was a bunch of sweet young things called The Black Pimpin Jesus on

the Stand Firm stage. I’d never heard the band before, and their name gives nothing away about their sound. So, with baited breath, I waited. If TBPJ’S music was a girl, she would be a slutty rock n roller with oldschool chops and a taste for whiskey out of the bottle. A dirty rock sound, with elements of ska just for fun, The Black Pimpin Jesus makes you want to down whatever you’re holding, and break

into a boogie. My favourite thing about this band (and yes, I may be a tad biased) is the ever so ballsy Bianca; chick drummer extraordinaire. Its not that often you see a girl behind the drums who isn’t just a gimmick. After that, Crossingpoint from DBN supplied the necessary dose of hardcore for the afternoon.

Having lost the friends I arrived with, I set about finding others. Somehow, I wound up with Dane (Betray the Emissary... or in the case of the incorrectly printed Thornfest t-shirts, EMOssary... vocalist) and Gavin (Your Name in Neon vocalist) in the shade of a tent in the baking midday sun, reminiscing about the days when we were young and innocent. Halfway through the afternoon, the rest of BTE (Bruce, Daniel, Gavin and Craig) managed to find us and disturb both our peace and that of Dan and Richard (Your Name in Neon), who were trying unsuccessfully to nap. Great quantities of crap were discussed (literally and metaphorically), and eventually we decided that food was needed. Early afternoon became late, and the time came to meet my partner in crime, Malindi, back at the tent. AMPED for the evenings line-up and as “clean” as possible (Stella’s idea; a wetwipe shower),

we made our way once again to the Stand Firm stage for the one and only Fuzigish. Fuzi was definitely one of the festival highlights for me. As always, they banged out some of the most awesome local tunes around with the high energy they’re known for. Little Bird made EVERYONE dance. The sweaty, seething masses stayed amped thought the set, and an excellent time was had by all, band included I’m sure. Next, we headed to the Black Dahlia stage for Straatligkinders. The boys blew everyone present out of the water with their new song.... The postponed (and highly anticipated) Enmity from CTN were up next. I’ve been to a lot on Enmity shows, and this one was right up there with the best of them. Chloe and Alain (vocals) kicked some serious ass for the JHB crowd, and as per usual, left all of us wishing the CTN was just a little bit closer. Several songs

about dead guys and murderers later, it was time AT LAST to head over to the main stage for Fokoffpolisiekar. EXCITEMENT! The performance was in full swing by the time I arrived in the extremely overcrowded and violent press pit. Not wanting to miss a thing, I grabbed my camera and ducked and dived around the stage looking for the perfect shot. Back in the press pit with Christelle and Tina, we did that drunken South African thing that we do, screaming along with the boys onstage, ”EEEEEEEEEK SKYN!EK SKYN HEILIIIIG...” Definitely another Thornfest highlight for me, I couldn’t miss out on the chance to ask Francois (vocals) what he thought of the gig. “We always feel intimidated (up until he said that, I had no idea that anyone on the band had that word in their vocabulary) playing to such a “metal” crowd, but the gig went great.” And great it was indeed... so great in fact, that

it wasn’t Francois climbing all over the lighting rig, but a drunk guy trying to get his hands on a free guitar. Ah, the things you see at festivals. The last band of the fest for me, was Betray the Emissary from CTN. If you met Dane (vocals) for the first time, you would never peg this teeny ting guy for a metalcore screamer...and that element of surprise works well for him. I haven’t seen BTE in a while, so it was awesome to hear the songs I loved in my CTN days. The guys had a few new tracks as well, moving the band in a slightly more melodic, but equally impressive direction. The crowd was minimal, but the set was BTE at their best nonetheless. After a few goodbye hugs, and sleepily slurred out congratulations, back to our respective tents we went, realising bit by bit that in the morning it was back to reality, and JHB.

MARCH 2010

After close to ten years in the ‘scene’, I had made the hard decision not to partake in Thornfest from Thursday. Instead, I was to go on Saturday (but I lied to Christelle that I wasnt going at all, because I love her surprise little pierced face). I was (and still am) convinced that my already flailing liver wouldnt be able to take it. So, I packed myself into my aircon-less car on Saturday night, and set off for the camp. OF COURSE I got lost (damn ego wont let me ask for directions) and OF COURSE I was late, so, after getting my press pass, I managed to somehow find the Stand Firm Stage to surprise my friends. I was greeted by the very happy Stella, and the very beaten up Cleo (more on that later) and we partied to the likes of Gross Misconduct, Submachine and Misled.

Later on, I went to buy drinks and heard someone in an English accent say at the other stage ‘Fokof, fokof fokof’, but didnt see the band, so I carried on walking to my mission for booze. As I emerged form the Cool Runnings tent, I heard the first chords of “Brand Suid Afrika” and immediately threw Stella’s beer can at her and demanded that she get up and we run to the stage. With our press passes, we went straight to the front, and what followed was around 45 minutes of AMAZING music that makes me realise why I am doing all of this. Die Bende were on top form, with all the usual head bangin’

and Francois’ contortions onstage. Much hilarity ensued when my druken doppleganger asked Cleo as to why she has a black eye, only to be informed by

the giggling Stella that she got in a fight with a trannie at The Woods Street Party two days easlier. Nice one, Cleo, we are proud (and taking all your beer away).

At 6:10 am SHARP, the owner of the little car called Lulu decided it was time to shove off. So up we got, and for girls, had the tent down and our crap packed in record time. Dreaming only of hot showers and real beds, but still a little sad to say goodbye to the weekend, we crammed once again into the little car that could, and headed back to the real world with fond memories, and many bruises. Tina and Stella opted to stay until Tina’s car was the only one in the camp, drinking themselves into oblivion and partying it up with the punks... their livers are still MIA.

CLEO AND MALINDI WOULD LIKE TO THANK: Tanya, for letting us overload Lulu and Marty for the really bad fast food jokes. CHRISTELLE WOULD LIKE TO THANK: The two awesome guys who shared their beer unconditionally and helped me unpitch my tent on Sunday, you guys rock! TINA WOULD LIKE TO THANK: All the awesome bands that took part, Jadd and SAB. VIXXEN WOULD LIKE TO THANK: The Cool Runings guys for not running out of beer, Jadd for hooking us up and doing a very cool job, all the bands and all the drunk people who made this experice a memoriable one. THORNFEST WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT: the organizational skills of Jadd Steinhard, Brad Hitchin, Devon Lottering and Brad Vermeulen, and the sponsorship of Crazzy 88, Releaf Skateboards, Jagermiester, Revolution, Tuks and UJ FM

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