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MEMBER HIGHLIGHT: MULTI-MEMBER QUESTION AND ANSWER

INTERVIEW BY SCARLETLATITUDE

For this issue, I asked the same questions to several different AVEN members. Here are their answers!

1. WHY IS ASEXUAL VISIBILITY IMPORTANT TO YOU?

Asexual visibility is important to me because without it, there would be so many people out there still clueless as to where they fit in this world. I was never like my peers. I didn’t feel “broken,” per se, but I could never see myself like anyone else. I learned about asexuality when I was 25, so that is somewhat late in the game when it comes to knowing about one’s sexuality, but if there was more visibility, kids would learn about asexuality when they were also learning about other sexualities. It’s so important to have an identity that feels right, to find a community of people that can relate to you. That’s what makes asexual visibility important not just to me, but to many, many other people. - kelico

Before I discovered Asexuality, I had no clue that Asexuality existed and that there were out there who understood me. Discovering Asexuality was like a lightbulb moment, suddenly it all made sense. If I had known about asexuality at a younger age, I definitely would have identified with it, and ace visibility is so important

to me because it’s so important that people know this orientation exists and know they aren’t alone. - OptimisticPessimist

Asexual visibility is important to me because it brings more awareness to people who happen to be different, but also recognizing that people who are different are still people and have more in common that one might think. - skyworld

It’s important to me because I think it’s important to asexuals to know that they are valid and belong. - ben8884

Without asexual visibility I’d still feel like a broken heterosexual. I want to do my bit to help others not feel broken for years. - Iam9man

So the general public would know that there are people who, for some unknown reason, aren’t sexually attracted to others. Then maybe asexuals wouldn’t face negative responses (“You’re a late bloomer” or You haven’t met the right person” etc.) when they come out to allos. - Will

I think it’s important to normalise asexuality, and I can’t be the only person who has gone through life without realising they were ace. - Purple Red Panda

So asexuality becomes accepted as a normal identity. - Mizzletoe

It’s important that everyone be aware of the full range of human sexuality, both to frame their own experience and to realize others may be coming from very different places. - ryn2

So that people are more understood by both themselves and by others. - Tunhope

To me as an individual, it isn’t that important. I’m well into my 60s and have found my spot in life as an asexual. But I didn’t reach that conclusion until quite recently. I’m sure life would have been different (better or worse who knows?) had I realised just how much different I was to the general population at an earlier age. So, the beneficiaries of increased asexuality awareness are those struggling to understand themselves sexually and that inevitably means a lot of people who are at the lower end of the age scale. They deserve to have better information available to them than was available even 15 years ago (never mind 50 years ago). Medical practitioners should be fully aware of asexuality, for example. - Midland Tyke

It is important for people to see that they are not alone with how they feel. - Kimmie.

Asexual visibility is important to me because I’d like for others who are asexual or questioning to know that they’re okay, even if others might think they’re weird or different for not having or being interested in sexual relationships, nor experiencing sexual attraction, etc. - Anonymous AVEN member

It’s not, honestly. At this stage of my life, it’s good to know who I am, but I don’t need recognition, or acceptance. - Tja

2. WHY DO YOU THINK WEBSITES LIKE AVEN ARE IMPORTANT?

They bring together individuals that can relate about a part of their identity that so many don’t understand. It’s important to have a community of people that can share experiences and knowledge about something like asexuality because the visibility is still lacking in media, schools, etc. So, to have a website where you can find thousands of aces all in one place? That is highly important. Websites like AVEN educate

people outside of the forum community as well, via interviews and social media, which can spread far and wide, helping immensely with visibility. - kelico

Websites like AVEN are really important for helping with awareness and understanding of asexuality. It gives people the resources to learn about asexuality, for people to discover themselves and they are a support system for many people. - OptimisticPessimist

Websites like AVEN are very important because in the age of the internet, it’s easier to find information. Someone can come and ask questions/advice. There’s also that community that is incredibly helpful for people not to feel alone with people who actually relate. It’s also a great place for someone to figure themselves out. - skyworld

It’s important because it has given me a chance to meet other asexuals and learn about asexuality. - ben8884

AVEN provides a safe space where people can research and discuss their experiences without fear of being attacked. There are also many years of discussions which people can browse through; it is very validating to find someone with the exact same experiences as you. Because AVEN has been running for so long, if you’re on the ace spectrum, chances are someone has already posted about experiences similar to yours. - Iam9man

For me it (AVEN) provided an answer to a question I hadn’t thought of asking, ‘Why am I not interested in sex?’ - Will

AVEN has given me a space to work through stuff relating to my sexuality and I get to hang out with fellow a-spec folx and allies. - Purple Red Panda

To hang out online with people I can be honest to about my asexuality and who will be accepting. - Mizzletoe

Sites like AVEN help connect people with information, and with others facing - or already past - similar challenges. They also foster camaraderie. - ryn2

For education and social support, to be online with like-minded others who are non- judgmental. - Tunhope

Education about asexuality for anyone who might be involved, from parents and other family members, to individuals themselves, to friends and medical practitioners (both physical and mental). Socialisation - because any minority group (and asexuals definitely are a tiny minority) benefit hugely from interacting with others who face/have faced similar issues. To have ‘safe’ friendships where no sexual element will enter is a relaxing and freeing thing. - Midland Tyke

I think asexuality websites, like AVEN, are especially important for questioning youth, who might be worried about being different from their peers. - Anonymous AVEN member

It’s nice to be sociable with like-minded people. - Tja

3. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ACE VISIBILITY/ACTIVISM CHANGE IN THE NEXT TWENTY YEARS?

I’d say we are on the right track, but what I would like to see is more asexuality in the media in the next 20 years. From TV shows to movies to books, there are so few asexual characters. We’re far off from our other LGBTQIA+ counterparts as far as representation and visibility go. To have asexuality mentioned in sex ed. in school would also be something I’d like to see. Educating youth on various sexualities, including asexuality, would include a lot of kids that feel out of place and unsure of them-

selves...they can learn about labels that fit them, so they don’t go through life thinking they’re strange or alone. - kelico

We’ve definitely come a long way but further to go. I’d love to see asexuality covered in sex-ed, if young people know asexuality at a young age, they’d know it exists and know all about It. It’d save a lot of people discovering it later in life and feeling like there’s something wrong with them. We need more understanding from health professionals about asexuality, so I’d also love to see more awareness and understanding in that area, so that patients get the right support and aren’t tried to be fixed. Media wise, there are ace characters, not loads and some that aren’t always good representation either, so I’d like to see more good representation and also to see asexuality treated as the real orientation it is. - OptimisticPessimist

Hopefully ace visibility/activism in the next 20 years, it’d generally be more recognized and for people to not really bat an eye -- normalized. Twenty years is a long time and a lot can happen between then. Though, slowly but surely, more diversity is being showed in TV shows and movies (hopefully in a positive and respectful light), and hopefully there would be more characters people can relate to. I hope for a brighter future that people who happen to be different in any way can feel like they don’t have to hide themselves among the majority of people that would likely be more accepting. - skyworld

I would like to see more representation on TV and also in sex ed. - ben8884

I hope that eventually specific asexual activism will become less and less necessary as asexuality becomes naturally part of conversations whenever orientations are discussed, but until we get there, I’d simply like sites like AVEN to become more visible and to be part of the conversation whenever other groups or networks need information about asexuality. - Iam9man

In 20 years, if not sooner, asexuals are just regular folk and don’t have to be closeted. - Will

I’d be happy to see asexuality as an accepted and understood identity. - Purple Red Panda

I would like to see it gradually become less important as asexuality becomes more understood. - Mizzletoe

I would like to see the less-common sexualities and genders considered more and more mainstream, meaning advocacy becomes less and less necessary. - ryn2

I’d like to see representation in a broader range of ages. - Tunhope

I’m not a natural activist. I’m a little embarrassed and just a little disappointed in myself at my lack of activism (on asexuality and other issues) but that’s the way things are. Pushing for greater representation of asexuals in, for example, TV shows doesn’t interest me at all. So, for me, it’s all about education, education, and education. The rest will follow. - Midland Tyke

The best way it could change would be that the asexual label is not needed, because it is just one sexuality, among others. - Kimmie. I hope that in the next 20 years, science might discover how asexuality (and other sexual orientations) develops in the body. - Anonymous AVEN member

For those who need it, I hope visibility/acceptance is the norm. - Tja

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