WHAT CAN THE MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL DO TO BETTER UNDERSTAND ASEXUALITY AND SUPPORT ACE PATIENTS?

They should start by fully understanding the wide and complex spectrum of sexual preferences, desires, and confusions that their patients might present with. When someone is still very confused themselves and can’t declare forthrightly that they are such and such a label or set of labels, they need to start from the basis that the person they are looking at: 1) is trying their best to sort through how they present to the world and in their intimate relationships; 2) may have some trauma in their background, but may not want to be defined by said trauma; 3) is unique and complex 4) can change over time; and 5) mostly needs support in the form of being told that they are allowed to be exactly who they are despite marriages, children, stigmas, fears, and other people’s judgments. Clear, explicit questions, in my opinion, can work best as a way to help someone figure out who they are.

- Anonymous

I think as with any person’s medical care and sexuality, a simple sentence– I gather you’re asexual if you require anything let us know.

- Stevie

Education. It is normal and ok for some people to be asexual. This does not mean that hormone level tests or evaluations should be offered. It feels like they are saying I am broken when they do this to me, but I know it is done out of concern so I never say anything.

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Tori

Don’t just assume people over a certain age are sexually active; at the same time, really think about what questions about sexual history are necessary and how they could be presented to remove pressure. Maybe set out information about different types of sexualities, including asexuality, for your patients, so they can not only educate themselves but also feel safe asking questions (obviously educate yourself as well so you can answer them). And if you’re in an area of practice where sexual activity is likely to be important to discuss, consider intake questions that will give you context about the patient before speaking with them. Not just sexual orientation (if that’s even allowed to ask), but attitudes, beliefs, and questions they might have about sex. I think even people who are very sexually active probably have questions they’ve been too afraid to ask about sex, so giving that opening when they’re filling out the paperwork could help break the ice. As an asexual person, I would also feel a sense of relief and inclusion to see it acknowledged that sex can be a difficult and confusing topic! Even for many adults who aren’t asexual.

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Lisa

Listen, try to understand, be aware of the existence of asexuals

- Sara M.

We’re not disclosing that we’re asexual to our own benefit. Divulging that you’re asexual causes more harm than good, in my experience.

If someone tells you they’re asexual, take them seriously.

- tiloulou

Read up on it and don’t view asexuality as anything other than a sexuality like all others.

- Mary

Be open minded and less judgmental.

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Ashmita Subba

Acknowledge that it’s a real orientation and not some sort of hormone imbalance or mental disorder.

- Merry

Don’t assume things and don’t assume every problem is a sexual transmitted disease

- Carol

Do a course. Talk to people. Please. We have feelings. You can’t fix us,so, understand us.

- Sabe

Just to act us as a normal person as other sexual orientations.

- Marynaz

Accept our existence, and not pressure us to be allo/straight/”normal”.

- Anya