AVENUES
ACE ACTIVISM JUL - SEPT 2020
SUM MER 2020
FEATURED IN THIS ISSUE 3 5
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR PROSPECTS OF ASEXUAL ACTIVISM
…. BY KATHYHOH
6-7
ABDN CASE’S ASEXUAL CONSENT WORKSHOP
….. BY BEATRIX ELIZABETH LIVESEY-STEPHENS (SHE/HER)
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ASEXUAL ACTIVISM IN CONSERVATIVE CULTURES
…. BY KATHYHOH
10-12
ASEXUALITY, MENTAL HEALTH ACTIVISM AND ME
…. BY WUNDERBAHR
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THE IMPORTANCE OF TRANS RIGHTS
…. BY MICHAELTANNOCK
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RACIALLY AMBIGUOUS AND TRANSGENDER
…. BY SKYWORLD
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QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH OPEN MIC
…. ACE DRAGON WATERCOLOR PAINTINGS BY EMELINE B. …. “AN ACE UP MY OWN SLEEVE” BY SHRIMPYSHIRO …. “LIFE UNDER QUARANTINE” BY TINTINFAN …. “WE SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY” BY MICHAELTANNOCK …. “A SIREN NIGHT” BY PRINCE CANDY …. “G- NOT FOR GATEKEEPING” BY TORY ROSE
32 33 F eatured
PUZZLE – MATH SQUARES ACE SPOTLIGHT
in this issue
LETTER FROM THE EDITORS
Wow… 2020 has been one crazy year! I don’t think any of us could have predicted this mess. I hope everyone is staying safe! This issue is about ace activism. We have several stories about how our community members have worked to educate others on ace related issues. All of our collective work has made asexuality much more visible than it was just a few years ago. Keep up the good work, ace community! -
scarletlatitude, Editor in chief
HAVE A COMMENT FOR OUR EDITORS? FILL OUT OUR “LETTER TO THE EDITORS” FORM! HTTPS://FORMS.GLE/ZNFQRTXBSH5U9TBI8
CONTRIBUTORS Editor in Chief: scarletlatitude Benevolent PT Overlord: Puck Layout: kelico, rainbowbarfeverywhere, Janus Darkfox, scarletlatitude
Content creators: ben8884, Kimmie. Mexicanpotato, Scott1989, SithAzathoth WinterDragon
Editors: Janus Darkfox, Kikuka, Scooter, WunderBahr
Special thanks to: KathyHoh, Beatrix Elizabeth Livesey-Stephens, Emeline B., ShrimpyShiro, Tintinfan, Prince Candy, Tory Rose, MichaelTannock
Staff artists: kelico, MichaelTannock, Windspiel
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PROSPECTS OF ASEXUAL ACTIVISM BY KATHYHOH I am currently involved in asexual activism because I engage in some form of visibility efforts. I am an active member of AVEN, I have participated in some studies about asexuality and join as many asexual groups as possible on social media. Just letting the world know we exist is the most basic and foremost form of activism. In addition, I try to teach the general public by occasionally posting topics about asexuality on my personal Facebook page. I have come out to most close friends and family. Addressing a wider audience needs a different approach than discussing asexuality with other asexuals. There are wide forms of misconception. The most bizarre one I heard so far is “Someone not attracted to either gender must be attracted to pets or other animals. Everyone is attracted to something.” Some people also confuse asexuality to mean denied or hidden homosexuality. The most disappointing misconception I came across is about mixed allosexual and asexual marriage. There is a general consensus that the allosexual is the victim and the asexual is the wrongdoer. Asexuals are not cold robots and do experience love, romantic attraction or platonic attraction. If a mixed relationship does not work out, asexuals also get their hearts broken. But the most focus is how sex-deprived the poor allosexual partner and how cruel the asexual is for depriving the allosexual partner sex. The most dangerous misconception about asexuality is when it interferes with getting the right public service: law, health services, workplace discrimination and so on. Promising progress has been made regarding health. Last year, Canadian Human Rights commission included asexual people in their protections against workplace discrimination. There is still a huge amount of work to be done in the area of law, especially marriage laws. Currently, even in the most developed countries like Canada, the law considers the couple separated if they do not have sex. If a mixed marriage ends up in separation, the partner who refused sex is considered to have abandoned the marriage. Emotional attachment and commitment are not considered at all. This is very dangerous family law when it comes to dissolution of asexual and allosexual marriage, especially if children are involved. This is outright discrimination against asexuals by law. I would like to be involved in asexual activism in areas that are currently allowing asexuals split into cracks in the system, such as the marriage law situation mentioned above. We need to form an institution that boldly challenges law and other areas that invisibly discriminate against asexual people. “Prospects of Asexual Activism”, copyright Kidist Kibret, 2020
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ABDN CASE’S ASEXUAL CONSENT WORKSHOP BY BEATRIX ELIZABETH LIVESEY-STEPHENS (SHE/HER) In 2016, the UK National Union of Students (NUS) created the Asexual Consent Workshop to run as part of the consent education programme. I first heard about this workshop when I attended the UK Asexuality Conference 2019, where it was mentioned by some of the creators. I am a member of the Consent Awareness and Sexual Education group (CASE), a student group at the University of Aberdeen. The visibility of asexuality in the consent discussion and the sex-positivity movement is something CASE is passionate about. As soon as the academic year started after the conference, I brought the workshop up to CASE and the LGBTQ+ Forum (of which I’m the Secretary) to be held during Ace Awareness Week. We host a number of different consent workshops, and this was a brilliant opportunity to boost ace voices and teach more about consent. The LGBTQ+ Officer (also ace) and I took a look at the NUS material, which is freely available online (links below). We adapted it with Aberdeen-specific resources and added a few more myths to bust, as the asexual consent workshop is by no means just for aces, but for their partners and for anyone else who would want to learn about the intersection of sex and asexuality. The workshop covered the nuances of consent as an ace person, the two spectra of romanticism and sexuality, myth-busting, societal pressure on aces, and why aces need visibility. We invited Jo Russell, an asexual therapist working in Glasgow, to talk about experiences with aphobia, and harmful attitudes toward aspec people. In addition, I recruited the Aberdeen Aces group to give a short talk about our meetups and how to get involved. I’m really grateful for the narrative of sex-positivity in the ace community; I don’t consider myself a sex-favourable ace, but a very sex-positive person. Asexuality rightfully places a lot of importance on consent due to a lack of sexual attraction, but I think the discrepancy in the importance of consent between aces and allos is bigger than it should be. Absolutely everyone has the right for their sexual encounters to be completely consensual, safe, and healthy, should they choose to engage in them, with as much discussion as they need about their boundaries in order to feel safe and comfortable. There was
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a lot of discussion at the workshop surrounding boundaries and on-going conversation between partners, and I was really proud of the number of attendees we had, with some even having to sit on the floor (we’ll get a bigger room next year). CASE will definitely be hosting this workshop for many years to come! Link to the original NUS workshop: https://www.nusconnect.org.uk/resources/nus -asexual- consent-workshop briefing?fbclid=IwAR3OU5WRLh-mIzXIsSyVT8nbBIW-6YJUJeZqFEJi09jTlSi4PgU9PBHKtk4 and https://www.nusconnect. org.uk/resources/nus-asexual-consent-workshop-presentation Check out CASE here: https://www.facebook.com/ABDNCASE/ “ABDN Case’s Asexual Consent Workshop”, copyright Beatrix Elizabeth Livesey-Stephens, 2020
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ASEXUAL ACTIVISM IN CONSERVATIVE CULTURES BY KATHYHOH I am very pleased to learn people from severalcultures are actively pursuing Asexual activism. One that I came across is Indian Asexuals, mainly because they have resources in English. They have websites, several social media, short film series and most importantly, articles in local and international media. They have famous Dr. Pragati Singh Indian Asexuals, such as film actors. One of their activists, Dr. Pragati Singh, was featured in the BBC’s list of “100 Inspiring and Influential Women in the World” (2019). I recently also came across Arabic Asexual activism. More about Dr. Singh here: https://www.ozy.com/the-new-andthe-next/the-love-doctor-for-asexuals/245599/ What strikes me most about this activism is that they stem from these societies. It is a tremendous achievement and inspires me to start activism in my own community. I predict it is going to be much more difficult in my case. For starters, we have a very fragmented society speaking different languages. Only a tiny fraction of the population has access to the Internet. Most social work is done through local organizations. The moment you mention LGBT, they will kick you out. I definitely have to disguise that and focus on the “asexual means no sexual attraction” fact or I have no chance. Still, nobody wants to talk about sex. Even with experience, it is difficult to compare how others feel about it. So, I always assumed women did not enjoy sex and it is for a man’s enjoyment. This impression stems from a culture that lets men talk about sex somewhat freely, but women are frowned upon for even mentioning the word. So double challenge for me! I do not even know where to start. I haven’t even been able to come up with a word for asexual in my native language, Amharic. I found a word that was close in a church marriage guide, but it literally translated as “sexually disabled” and is listed as a ground for divorce and reason to enter monastic life. I definitely do not want to include disabled in my definition.
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The beauty of the Amharic language is the wide use of metaphors. On Victoria Day long weekend, I had a sudden inspiration triggered by a conversation with my sister about asexuality. I wrote several poems, most of them metaphorically describing asexuality. I posted them on my personal Facebook page, apologizing for bringing up a taboo topic and stating the importance of talking about sex. I think I have freaked out a lot of people. Nobody commented on the post yet. Two friends reacted positively for a few poems. Several long-lost friends texted me privately to say hi, possibly to indirectly ask what was going on. Soon after the post my mum told me my cousin called her and they talked for hours. They talked about random stuff, but I am sure he was calling to indirectly figure out what was going on. I am having so much fun and am excited how this will unfold through time. Personally, it is a huge relief to put it out there and end the inquiries about why my marriage ended and accusations that I am making my baby grow up without a father. My marriage ended long before I knew about asexuality, but my curiosity why I do not like sex like other people led me to AVEN. My whole life makes sense after I found AVEN, and I hope to use activism to shed light to the life of other confused people out there. “Asexual Activism in Conservative Cultures�, copyright by Kidist Kibret, 2020
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ASEXUALITY, MENTAL HEALTH ACTIVISM AND ME BY WUNDERBAHR I’ve been a member of the asexuality community for nearly 2 decades. My experience with mental health is, overall, a personal one, but also one I have connected very closely to as an asexual. Having been on staff with AVEN for many years has afforded me some insight into the experiences of others. During that time, the need for discussion about mental health as it related to identity and orientation became more noticeable. Not just from an administrative standpoint, but also a personal one, with consideration to the responsibilities we (in general) have in conducting said discussions and demonstrating compassion for others struggling with their experiences. Asexuality has had quite a history with mental health, with significant debate over whether or not asexuality could be considered a sexual orientation. For many years it was compared or equated to such disorders/sexual dysfunctions as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Female Sexual Interest/ Arousal Disorder, etc., due to the relevant lack of interest in sex. The key difference being that people with these disorders typically experience significant personal distress because of said lack of interest or sexual attraction; whereas, among the general asexual population and communities, they do not. There have been several studies researching asexuality, with one (Yule et al., 2013) hypothesizing that differences between asexuals and their heterosexual (or cis) counterparts in regards to anxiety and depression, or mood disorders, were potentially due to discrimination and other societal factors. An earlier study (Nurius, 1983) showed results that asexuals were more likely to have low self-esteem and more likely to be depressed than members of other sexual orientations, but did not believe that firm conclusions could be drawn from the results. Not to mention the many arguments that propose that asexuality is linked to denial of one’s natural sexuality, and is instead a disorder caused by shame, anxiety, or sexual abuse/trauma (a controversial topic even among asexual communities). For many looking for understanding and acceptance of their lack of interest or sexual attraction, it’s not a wonder that suffering from anxiety or depression is a thing. Especially when contending with a sexualized society, where sex is interchangeable with the words affection, romance or passion and viewed as normal expectation within relationships. Preju-
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dice, judgment of others during developmental years in youth, experiences of dismissal/erasure with family/friends and/or in the workplace (and even some medical professionals) can place enormous personal distress on anyone. Identity is so tied to how we connect to others that the impact of these stressors can be great, and for something seen as vital to a “happy life,” not fitting that mold can make one feel like they are broken or too different. That’s why it’s so important for resources which advocate support for anyone struggling with their identity to exist; especially those considering self-harm or suicide. It was because of experiencing both sides of those issues that I became more involved with various mental health organizations (7Cups, Talk Life, to name a few) and even became a trained QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) Gatekeeper. The Trevor Project must also be mentioned, here, for all the tremendous work they do to ensure that not only is support provided, but also going to great length in providing information to those who may be questioning or an ally/loved one of an asexual (or anyone LGBTQ+) who may be experiencing a personal crisis. What really set me off on my journey was a situation, many years ago, where a fellow community member (name withheld for anonymity) was in the midst of a crisis and had abruptly mentioned that they wanted to commit suicide before going offline. Being online, options were limited on what I could do and, at that time, there was no definitive how-to list on addressing the situation as a staff member. I reached out to whomever I could to find out what could be done, and it turned out to be very restrictive. In many areas, situations involving threats of suicide were (and some still are) covered by law enforcement (also working with medical professionals/mental health orgs). Being someone from another state or country leaves you feeling helpless, working from a distance, which in turn can cause emotional distress on whomever bears witness to the threat or attempts to help. I never wanted others to have to go through the pain and anxiety of wondering whether their friend/loved one/colleague were going to be okay. Because of the lack of information, I set my mind to focusing on creating and sharing resources, and helping others understand how to approach these situations while also establishing healthy boundaries for themselves. While scientific research into asexuality is still fairly new, visibility efforts within the overall asexuality community have yielded results in educating others about asexuality. The DSM-V now explicitly excludes those identifying as asexual within the sections covering sexual dysfunctions and disorders. Multiple Pride/ Asexuality Vis-Ed events, conferences, and workshops are held
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to inform, support and remain active in those efforts to educate and clarify the myths and misconceptions about asexuality. Despite all that, work still needs to be done to meet the mental health needs which so many within the asexual (and/or questioning) community have. And so, I will continue to reach out and network as I can. But I encourage anyone to do so. It doesn’t have to be a grand project. Speaking up, telling your story (or listening to theirs), and/or letting others know that they have a community which they can belong to can do so much in helping people feel they are not alone. And that can be a big step toward better mental health, wellbeing and self-care. “Asexuality, Mental Health Activism and Me”, copyright Wunderbahr, 2020
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THE IMPORTANCE OF TRANS RIGHTS BY MICHAELTANNOCK In the middle of Pride Month, the Trump administration finalized a rule that would roll back the Obama-era healthcare and health insurance protections for transgender and gender non-conforming people living under American healthcare. The rule, which will come into effect in mid-August, redefines “sex discrimination” protections in the Affordable Care Act to no longer encompass protections for transgender people, but to apply only to discrimination for being male or female. Some could ask why this is in an asexual newsletter but beyond the obvious and right answer that people of any sexual orientation can be transgender (including aces), a quarter of asexuals are transgender or gender non-conforming according to data collected by AVEN. (https://asexualcensus. wordpress.com/2014/11/02/preliminary-findings-from-the2014-aven-community-census/) Some of the earliest and most frequent references to asexuality are within the trans community, with magazines written by and for trans people such as Transvestia often including it as far back as the 1950s when listing sexual orientations. What happens with trans rights, therefore, has a significant impact on asexuals, so the importance of the asexual community ’s support for our trans members and their rights cannot be understated. It is also the right thing to do, even if that impact were to have been insignificant, to shed light on important issues like these that will affect an entire segment of people, whether or not that one is our own. I hope that we can come together in condemning the Department of Health and Human Services rule. In the same month, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that the 1964 Civil Rights Act protects gay, lesbian, and transgender employees from discrimination based on sex. A historic decision. And one that could affect the HHS rule. “The Importance of Trans Rights”, copyright MichaelTannock, 2020
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RACIALLY AMBIGUOUS AND TRANSGENDER BY SKYWORLD I am 22 years old. I grew up in a privileged middle-class family. It was my mom and my grandparents that helped raise me. I’m transmasculine and mixed with mostly black, as well as white, Native American, and Filipino. I am light-skinned. I don’t pass as white since most people assume that I am Mexican, Puerto Rican, or Cuban. I even got Singaporean and Greek once! People with darker skin do face more hardships, but that doesn’t mean light-skinned people get a pass. I want to share my story as a trans person of color. I moved a lot in my lifetime, so often that I lost count. When I was much younger, around 8 years old I think, and I was either visiting or living with my mom at the time. I was playing with some of the kids in my neighborhood. All of them were black or mixed like me. There was a white girl that lived nearby and we invited her to play, but she told us that her parents didn’t want her to play with black kids. When I was in early middle school, one of the schools I went to was in the city, an all-black school that I attended for a few months. I’ve been to many different schools and living in a middle-class family, I usually went to either a mixed or about 85%+ white school. The math we were learning, I have already learned in a grade or two earlier, but it was new to my peers. In science, there were a few things I didn’t know but knew most of what was being taught. In history class, all we did was art. We didn’t open any books and I didn’t learn anything the whole time. I told my mom about it. We moved somewhere else and one of the reasons was for me to get a better education, but unfortunately, not everyone has the privilege to do that. I had firsthand experience with how schools that are mixed or mostly white would make sure that they have a better education for their students. I had some interactions with cops and every time, I fear that I might get harassed, hurt, or killed. My mom had told me to always move slowly and tell them what I’m doing, such as reaching for the glove box for my insurance card and registration or my wallet from my back pocket for my license. And now that I’m fairly far in my transition, I typically pass as male. I was worried that any interactions could be even worse for a male POC with cops, even more so that I’m transgender.
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I will admit though, some few interactions with cops I’ve had went surprisingly well. I didn’t feel harassed and they seemed to genuinely be concerned for my safety. One specific example I can give is that I was waiting in a parking lot by the library for a meeting. I happened to be around the area, even if I was a couple of hours early, I didn’t want to waste gas driving home and back. I was watching Hulu on my phone as I waited. After a while, I noticed flashing police cars and fire trucks go by and a cop knocks on my driver’s side window. He said there was a call worried that I could have been dead! It’s hilarious, but I explained everything. He didn’t ask for my license and laughed along. It seemed genuine to me and not an excuse since there was also a fire truck and he didn’t ask for ID. I know that not all cops are bad, but it’s not like one could choose to interact with a good cop. The number of bad cops and police brutality is overwhelming and horrifying. They must be held accountable. My trans siblings, especially my black trans sisters, are targeted in hate crimes. It breaks my heart how so many of them would be killed in violent ways at such a young age. Whenever I happen to meet a trans woman of color in person, I worry about her safety. For the longest time, I’d worry that I wouldn’t have a long life because so many trans people die in their mid-30s, even if it is black trans women who are terrifyingly more likely. I try to be “stealth” for the most part for my own safety by keeping my trans status on the downlow. Whenever I see older trans folk, it inspires me with how much they went through and helping the younger generation. Especially my black trans sisters in 1969. The Stonewall Riots was caused by police raids in gay bars and it was black trans women that fought back. It was these riots that were the spark to many liberations in the LGBTQ+ community in the U.S. I can go back further in the history of violence that birthed liberations. The Boston Tea party that happened in 1773 was a political protest with the destruction of property. The American Civil War happened in the early 1860s about “state’s rights” to own people, slaves. Segregation legally ended in 1964, but the Civil Rights Movement still continued on. My great-grandma is black and she is 93 years old. She lived through the Great Depression, World War II, the Cold War, Vietnam War, the Jim Crow laws. Even women’s right to vote was just barely before she was born. Just because this all happened before one’s lifetime doesn’t mean it was that long ago.
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I don’t personally agree with violence, but one shouldn’t ignore the history of it actually working. Martin Luther King Jr. had peaceful methods and he was still assassinated and riots followed. Colin Kaepernick peacefully protested police brutality on minorities by kneeling during the National Anthem and people still chastised him. And now there are riots and looting happening, though it’s not completely clear who exactly was responsible for starting them, regardless… I don’t believe violence is the only way for change, but there is yet a peaceful method that it has actually worked. All I want is for myself, people of color (especially black), LGBTQ+ people (especially trans), people with physical and/ or mental disabilities, and anyone else who just so happens to be different to not be discriminated against and just… exist. “Racially Ambiguous and Transgender”, copyright SkyWorld, 2020
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Follow AVENues on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/AVENuesAVEN/ Follow AVEN on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/AVENOfficial/
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH
WHAT SORT OF ACTIVISM ARE/ WERE YOU INVOLVED IN? (IF YOU’RE COMFORTABLE SHARING, TELL US SPECIFIC ORGANIZATIONS TOO!) HOW HAS ACE VIS-ED/ACTIVISM IMPACTED YOU, PERSONALLY? I mostly helped with designing a mascot to help promote an ace site that became defunct unfortunately. Most activism has been helping debunking myths. • Anonymous I don’t know if this counts as activism, but I put together an Aspec space as part of my university ’s LGBTQ+ center that meets regularly to talk about being ace and to just hang out. I love doing it because I’m very comfortable being out and I figure if my experiences can have a positive impact on other people, then I may as well try to be as open and welcoming as possible! • Christa I haven’t been involved specifically in Ace activism, but I have marched in the gay pride parade with Planned Parenthood. • Meghan Only a little, like participating in & creating content for Asexual Awareness Week on social media. • Ren I was briefly involved in an LGBT+ club at college and made flyers explaining asexuality to put on bulletin boards around campus. Now I like to find random threads on AVEN to see if I can help other asexuals, mainly regarding coming out, since my own experience wasn’t that good. • AnnaMarie King Two friends and I started AceSpace, a continuing initiative/affinity group for students on the asexual spectrum at our college. We were unable to start meeting before our school was shut down because of COVID-19, but we plan to meet bimonth-
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ly and have chats and hangouts to build community within acespec folx at our college, where some of us have felt alienated by queer and/or trans organizations in the past (whether because we are heteroromantic or for other reasons). • Will Raising Asexuality awareness by giving presentations at LGBT+ conferences. Not only do people learn from them, but I learn a lot from others there, too. And that is good all around. • Kelly
IF YOU ARE NOT INVOLVED IN ACE ACTIVISM RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET INVOLVED IN? Being ace isn’t a huge part of my identity so I am unlikely to be an activist; when I’m older I might join an asexual club simply to raise awareness. • Anonymous I’d like to participate more in community organized events since being alone in explaining things can be tough • Sarah
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IF YOU HAVE PARTICIPATED IN ACE ACTIVISM, WHAT ARE THE TOP 3 MISCONCEPTIONS/MYTHS ABOUT ASEXUALITY THAT YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED? 1. Aromantic = asexual 2. Medical problem that can be fixed with drugs 3. Only for 18+ • Anonymous 1. People thinking it is the same as aromanticism. 2. People feeling sad that we’re going to be alone and lonely forever. 3. People thinking it’s a disorder that needs to be cured. None of that is true!!! • Christa 1. That being Ace is weird or unnatural, 2. That I just haven’t met the “right person” or haven’t had “good sex”, 3. People are only ace if they ’ve had sexual trauma (I personally have, but don’t think that is what makes me ace). • Meghan That you can grow out of it, that asexuality can be fixed by sex, & that asexuality is a made-up sexual orientation. • Ren 1. That Aceness is a choice 2. That aces are going to have to have sex in their life regardless of what they actually want • Sarah 1) Asexuality and celibacy are the same thing. 2) Asexuals are just “girls who don’t want to put out.” 3) People who are asexual just have low libido. • AnnaMarie King That romantic ace people will not find people that love them romantically, that asexuality is a choice, and that all ace people are sex-repulsed. • Will We are broken, we have not met the right person, we are lying. • Kelly
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WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE AWAY FROM ACE VISIBILITY ACTIVITIES? (I.E. WHAT “MESSAGE” SHOULD PEOPLE LEARN FROM IT?) Asexuality and aromanticism are not the same thing. The split attraction model should be better publicized. Most asexuals wouldn’t shame other people for having sex; we tend to give the same acceptance of allosexuality that we hope would be extended to us. “Whatever floats your boat.” • Anonymous That asexuals exist and that there’s nothing wrong with them! • Christa Ace people are not weird, and they should be accepted and respected! • Meghan That asexuality is real, and we don’t need to be fixed. We are who we are & that’s important. Our sexuality should be considered as real and respected. • Ren Not everyone will believe or understand you, but live as yourself happily, tell people your ace, and if nothing else you’ll make it easier for the rest of us to come out and have no fear when it comes to their orientation. • Sarah They should learn that people who are asexual do exist and are completely valid, and that they deserve just as much respect and understanding as everyone else. • AnnaMarie King Asexuality is about attraction to other people, or a lack thereof, and
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being on the ace spectrum does not indicate anything about one’s romantic orientation or other ways in which they can be attracted to or interact with others. It is also important to consider that different people define sex differently and thus different ace people can be interested in, repulsed by, or partake in different physical interactions within that gray area, as can non-ace people. • Will Ace people exist and must be on LGTB collective. Talk about Ace/ aro realities. • Aiden Asexuality is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. • Kelly
WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST FOR ANYONE INTERESTED IN BEING INVOLVED IN ASEXUALITY VISIBILITY AND/OR ACE ACTIVISM MOVEMENT(S)? Practice explaining asexuality and the split attraction model! Encourage them to ask any questions about asexuality that they have. Be understanding that they might say something offensive, and
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kindly correct them. The fact that they ’e talking to you means that they want to learn, which is awesome. • Anonymous Reach out to existing groups! Start your own if you can’t find one that you like! • Anonymous Explain it. And don’t let anyone say it’s not real or not valid. Also, encourage ace rep in the media. • Ren Try not to take anything people say personally. Anything they say reveals more about them and how they view the world rather than the true reality of it. • Sarah I would suggest starting with education for others, and if possible, reach out to other LGBT+ groups for support. It may not ALWAYS work, but when it does, you can spread your range a lot more. • AnnaMarie King Be open to ALL acespec folx! No matter what other identities intersect with their acespec identity and no matter how they behave in whatever types of relationships they may have. • Will Get involved any way that you can; keep an open mind; learn from others; respect others. • Kelly
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OPEN MIC AN ACE UP MY OWN SLEEVE BY SHRIMPYSHIRO
I’m an ace up my own sleeve Yet so many still don’t believe That we’re not robots, we’re not plants And we don’t want you in our pants We’re not broken, you can’t fix us We don’t understand the big fuss We’re not hurting anybody So aphobes, just leave us be Asexuals are the one per cent Yet we number in millions So understand we’re all diff’rent When you accept we’re existent Some of us don’t care for love For others, it’s all we dream of And some of us are in between And others are still questioning And for yet others, it depends On things like if we are close friends ‘Cause not all aces are the same Please get that fact into your brain “An Ace Up My Own Sleeve” copyright ShrimpyShiro 2020
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ACE DRAGON WATERCOLOR PAINTINGS BY EMELINE B.
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LIFE UNDER QUARANTINE BY TINTINFAN
Community means stand together Hand in hand, against the dark. Now tell me please, how can we do this, when we are apart. When adversity normally brings us together, we are fractured. Alone. The electronic help Can keep us talking, When we are afar. The human experience is; That shared look between friends The hug when down The coming together by a meal. We are social creatures. Being alone breaks our heart.
Life under Quarantine copyright Tintinfan 2020
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WE SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY By MichaelTannock
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A SIREN NIGHT BY PRINCE C ANDY When the dark curtains of the night fall, that is the cue for them to wake. They are hunters who wear the garments of a lamb to lure their prey into the depths of the sea. Unsuspecting victims follow their angelic companions, only to drown in their own sweet nightmares. Tonight, the sirens are departing again, to hunt the beings aboard a lonely little boat. Yet there was one young siren who refused to join her herd. “If only I could do something to prevent the massacre,” she thought every night. “But the only thing I can do is watch and pray.” There was truly nothing she could do. Sirens needed to nurture themselves, for they were also living beings. Neither man nor nymph could resist the course of nature. Once everyone had gone, she hauled her heavy heart and exited her nest in search for her share of supper. The mermaid saw three men had been trapped by the sound of her sisters’ voices. The creatures with scales that reflected moonlight continued singing, while they swam deeper into the waters. A portrait of passionate love. Men stretching their arms toward their beloved, flapping their legs to move them closer and closer to her. Their eyes looking only at her, cast over with a dreamy complexion. It was, after all, just that: a dream. The young mermaid observed as the men slowly ran out of air without noticing it themselves. In the siren’s experience, there was always a moment in which, before they completely drowned, the men finally took a glimpse of reality. Yet, so far were they gone from their home, that any attempt to return was futile. It was of consolation, perhaps, that her sisters usually tore their prey apart before they could further drown in despair. However, the sight was, nonetheless, unbearable to her. As such, instead of watching her sisters prepare supper, she swam to the surface and greeted the moon. Tonight, half of its body was visible, while the other half hid behind the curtains. It was nature’s will, she felt.
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A shout nearby distracted the mermaid from her astronomical observations. “Demon child!” The voice exclaimed. “Go away, filthy creature. I will not fall for your tricks.” Once she realized that the owner of the voice was one aboard the little boat, she immediately flung the water with her tail to approach the torch that moved with the waves. There, in the dim light, she found a man holding a broken oar with trembling arms. “Do not come near, ugly creature. You will not deceive me, as you did my companions.” The siren questioned her own hearing. Still, there was no mistake, for the man had definitely uttered the word ugly. This was not a confusion on the part of the mariner, for he had described the siren as his eyes had beheld her under the boat’s torch. The mermaid’s skin was covered in glistening scales, and her ears, which poked out under her long wet hair, were shaped like pointy leaves. Her large eyes housed nothing but small irises that were now sharply directed at him. Yet, were they really sharp? “Human,” the siren finally spoke. “You have been gifted with eyes that see the truth. Do use them for their purpose, and let not your mind cloud their abilities.” After offering that solemn advice, the mermaid swam away from the boat, and sank her head under the dark waters. It is known that the man returned to land, alone in a boat. As for this story, it became a myth. As for the man, he became a lunatic. The man told the story to a few of his comrades, only to be laughed at in return. No one else shared his gift on land. Soon after, the sailor left his town on a boat, never to be seen again.
“A Siren Night” copyright Prince Candy 2020
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G- NOT FOR GATEKEEPING BY TORY ROSE
The enemy comes from within It comes when you’ve valiantly fought an army for your validity You’ve fought friends and family, history books, disapproving looks from neighbors, and eye rolls from old folks on the bus. But you won. And now you wear your scars and badges proudly You dress your best to go to the warriors’ ball And gall at all of the other victors there “We’re here, We’re here. We stand with you!” is chanted in unison and you think, finally, I’ve found a home. The fighting has ended. I’ve found a home. But then they notice your badges and they squint. “Not you” the one just chanting next to you says. “B-but, why?” You shakily manage to make out. “Because you didn’t really fight for anything. You just wanted the glory”. He scoffs “people like you didn’t fight this fight. It was never yours to fight. So go find your own war.” He refers to the word ‘you’ like a mutt. “B-but this my war. This is all our war. We all fought for the same things and“ A larger highly decorated woman cuts you off. “You do not belong here. This is not your war. You do not belong here.” A single tear escapes your eye, as you try to plead with your fellow soldiers whom you thought you fought with. “Th-this is my war. This is all our war-“ The soldier cuts you off. “This is not your war. This will never be your war.” Time stands still. The people you fought with. The people you fought against. What if they’re all the same? When does the fighting stop? How do you know who are your allies and who are your enemies when they all dress the same?
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“Then I will continue to fight. I will continue to fight my own war”
In heels I click my way to the front of the mansion without peering back once. I reach the gates and lock myself out, never looking back. They are right. I do not belong there. I do not belong there until all of us belong there. And I will fight. I will fight for all of us to belong there. Because we do. We do. But we must continue to fight even when the war has ended.
“G- Not For Gatekeeping” copyright Tory Rose 2020
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ASEXY PUZZLE: MATH SQUARES Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Work from left to right. Each column is a math equation. Work from top to bottom.
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Our next issue is about life during and after lock down. We all have been impacted by covid-19. How has being in lock down affected your life? Have your orientations impacted you during this time? (For example, if you have a romantic partner, were you together with them or separated?) What are you still concerned about? Fill out our question of the month form here: https://forms.gle/ggWBu38ekuZsQ1AS7 REMEMBER,WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR ARTICLES AND ARTWORK TO ADD TO AVENUES! • To submit creative works, please go here: https://goo.gl/forms/QQqfdfOR69niJFoP2 • All creative works also need to be submitted through our copyrights form: https://goo.gl/forms/ciEyCwNew5wjuzVg1 • Send us your asexy jokes and puns here: https://goo.gl/forms/Rg4vlY6XZ7c17bNJ3 • You may also send a private message to any of the AVENues staff on AVEN
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