6 minute read
COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
Communicating in an Uncomfortable Political and Social Climate
Silence is complicity, but speaking out can be scary in these days and times. For this reason, Awareness Ties reached out to Lisa Bowman, a communications expert and our Official Advisor, to teach us all about how to ‘be comfortable with being uncomfortable. - Allié M.
Both personally and professionally, it's getting more uncomfortable to speak. It's hard to know just what to say and what not to say without ofending. We’re living in a time when a question that yesterday was so simple, so rote, “How are you?” is today potentially loaded with booby traps. There’s the unloading of vexation with the political landscape, the stress of perhaps a loss of a job or sheer frustration quarantine and COVID are resulting in, then there’s the anger.
The anger about what’s happening socially. We know the names that sparked the movement. At least the most recent ones: George, Breonna, Armaud. Like Kanye, Cher and Madonna, no last name is needed. The plethora of issues facing us have sparked conversations about race, justice, policing and politics in the workplace and at home.
But these conversations, on topics we’ve historically NOT brought into the workplace, or maybe even our homes are happening. And they’re not easy. So how do we do this, and how do we do it right? Is there even a “right” way to do it? Often for fear of doing it wrong, we do nothing at all. We stay silent. And silence is complicity.
Fear of saying the wrong thing often keeps us from wanting to engage in a discussion about race and inequality, or even politics in the first place. That’s often because while the payof of such conversations can be unclear (dismantling systemic racism ), the risk (rejection of your own beliefs) is much clearer.
When you’re having these conversations, it might seem like we’re discussing specific issues, but what we’re really talking about is who we are and our perspective on what the world should be; then we’re comparing what the world should be and what it is.
Thoughtful dialogue can, and should acknowledge diference of perspectives while inviting empathy, stoking questions that lead to conversation and a resolve to jointly solve a problem. It likely won’t conclude with finding resolution to a really large complex issue, like fixing systemic racism, but the starting point is to achieve validation that people’s concerns are not only heard but also understood.
Think about this; If you are feeling it, likely others are feeling it too, so why not talk about it in the spirt of facilitating understanding, seeing other perspectives and potentially defining solutions? The fear of what could go wrong in that conversation should be minuscule compared to what may happen if people hold it in.
Be prepared to understand how your own experience, because of your race, political beliefs and background, will shape what you bring to and take from the conversation. Before diving in, hit “pause” and engage in some self-reflection before engaging in these conversations. Establish a realistic goal for the outcome of this conversation. If it’s just for you to be heard, great, that in and of itself is an outcome that can be easily achieved.
A good entry point with starting a difcult conversation is to candidly acknowledge its difculty and validate the other person’s feelings, whether it’s shock, sadness, anger, confusion or shared discomfort. Next, exercise curiosity by asking open ended questions to gain insight into the other person’s perspective. Make sure to qualify this is a “safe space” where the other party can speak freely and openly without fear of judgment. By showing that respect, they will hopefully extend the same courtesy to you.
Using phrases like “can you help me understand why you feel/see things that way” or “thank you for raising that point, I have a few questions about that” can help break down the emotional barriers that emerge when discussing uncomfortable topics, ensuring the other person doesn’t feel they have to be defensive in explaining their point of view.
Having tough conversations and communicating openly and honestly is more important than ever in our current environment. There’s often no single “right” answer to the situations we’re facing and people aren’t always going to agree, but it’s better to hear someone out and perhaps “agree to disagree” vs. deferring the conversation which may lead to larger issues down the road.
Lisa Bowman is the founder and Chief Mojo Officer (CMO) of Marketing Mojo, an agency that lives at the intersection of Purpose and Profit.She is the former CMO of the United Way and serves as an Official Advisor for Awareness Ties™.
Lisa Bowman is the founder and Chief Mojo Officer (CMO) of Marketing Mojo, an agency that lives at the intersection of Purpose and Profit. She most recently served as United Way Worldwide’s Chief Marketing Officer leading the organization’s global marketing team with the objective of highlighting the organization’s image and 130 -year history of galvanizing donors, advocates, volunteers and workplace partners to fight for the health, education, and financial stability of every person in every community. She joined United Way Worldwide from a 15- year career at UPS. Lisa began her career with UPS in 2000 as Vice President of Market Development for UPS e-Ventures, the company’s dot-com incubator. In subsequent senior level marketing roles with the logistics company, she led several high-profile marketing initiatives designed to transform UPS from its historical position as a business -to -business entity into a business-to- business- to -consumer entity. Following UPS’ 2001 acquisition of the former Mail Boxes, Etc. network of nearly 4,000 franchised locations, Lisa led the integration and re-branding to The UPS Store™. In 2009, she developed and launched UPS Direct-to Door, a co-op media product intended to compete with direct mail. She then took as role in The UPS Foundation, where as part of her $80 million social investment portfolio she also oversaw the transportation company’s United Way campaign.
Lisa was Target Marketing Magazine’s “Marketer of the Year” (December 2019) and was also recognized by the American Marketing Association as the 2017 Non-Profit Marketer of the Year. Her work has received numerous awards inclusive of the Harvey Communications Awards, multiple Gold Stevie® Awards, multiple PRNews Awards, and multiple Gold MarComm awards. The PSA campaign she launched on behalf of United Way in her inaugural year was recognized as PSA of the Year by PRNews. Under her leadership, United Way’s research team also received a DigitalEdge 50 Award for PerformanceLink; the organization’s first Business Intelligence tool. Lisa holds a B.A. in Marketing from Columbia and has completed executive education at Emory University’s Goizueta School of Business. Lisa also holds a seat on the National Board of the American Marketing Association. Find Lisa: lisa@markeing-mojo.biz or www.linkedin.com/in/lisalynnprofile
