AWARENOW
ISSUE 24
T H E AWA R E N E S S T I E S ™ O F F I C I A L M A G A Z I N E F O R C A U S E S
DUEL DIAGNOSIS DAVE NAVARRO & PADHiA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
HEARTSTRINGS DANIEL MORRIS
THE PIONEER
DR. NICOLAS BAZAN
INNERVENTION MIKE DIAMOND
THE INCLUSION PRESCRITION NATASHA BOWMAN
XAN
ETHAN BLONDEEL
ACCORDING TO TAZ
JIM EVANS/EDDIE DONALDSON
IMPERFECT
REGAN LINTON/BRIAN MALONE
FELLOW TRAVELERS
CHRISTINE & COREY CASTILLO/LAURA SHARPE
THE CLEAN EDITION P U R I F I E D
W I T H
P U R P O S E
THE CLEAN EDITION
ON THE COVER:
DAVE NAVARRO & PADHiA
ARTWORK LAYER (BLUE):
SAGE GALLON
AwareNow™ is a monthly publication produced by Awareness Ties™ in partnership with Issuu™. Awareness Ties™ is the ‘Official Symbol of Support for Causes’. Our mission is to support causes by elevating awareness and providing sustainable resources for positive social impact. Through our AwareNow Magazine, Podcast & Productions we raise awareness for causes and support for nonprofits one story at a time.
06 TAL ANDERSON
62 THE INCLUSION PRESCRIPTION
106 7:20
08 HEARTSTRINGS
66 SATURDAY AT THE FOOD PANTRY
108 RESTRICTED AND FREE
14 DUEL DIAGNOSIS
72 CHIEF MANIFESTATION OFFICER
112 ULPA CHAUHAN
24 IMPERFECT
74 AN ANNIVERSARY
118 THE GILDED AGE
32 BEAUTY IN THE BID
76 OPERATION OUTBREAK
124 UNSUGARCOATED
36 THIS IS FAITH
80 MIRROR
126 YOU ARE ENOUGH
42 COMING CLEAN
82 NEW YEAR’S EVOLUTION
130 KLEA KORRO
46 XAN
84 ACCORDING TO TAZ
134 DON’T AVOID MISTAKES
50 DON’T GIVE UP
96 THE BRAILLE BLESSING
136 A NEW DAWN
52 THE PIONEER
100 THE ’N’ WORD
58 INNERVENTION
102 CLEANSING
AWARENESS TIES
NATASHA BOWMAN
DANIEL MORRIS
DIANE O’NEILL & BRIZIDA MAGRO
DAVE NAVARRO & PADHiA
CHARLOTTE ALEXANDRA
REGAN LINTON & BRIAN MALONE AWARENESS TIES
PROVIDENCE BOWMAN TODD BROWN
THE CASTILLOS/LAURA SHARPE
LORI BUTIERRIES AJAY DAHIYA
PAUL S. ROGERS
ETHAN BLONDEEL
JIM EVANS/EDDIE DONALDSON
LUCIA MARTINEZ ROJAS
LEX GILLETTE
SAGE GALLON CRAIG GRAHAM
TANITH HARDING SONJA MONTIEL
SEAN V. BRADLEY/AALIA LANIUS CATHY CAPLENER TANITH HARDING DESMOND CLARK
DAWN NAKAGAWA/ALEXANDER TAYLOR
ALLIÉ MCGUIRE
DR. NICOLAS BAZAN
THI NGUYEN
MIKE DIAMOND
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Bodies are cleansed by water; the mind is purified by truth. HORACE MANN
AMERICAN EDUCATOR & REFORMER
clean: (n.) morally uncontaminated, pure or innocent By textbook definition, not a single one of us is ‘clean’ for long. This world has a way of taking you, leading you down paths you never intended going down. In this world, you are only allowed innocence for so long. It seems to me, we all take similar paths through life. We are born in a place, we learn from people, we act, we change, we grow, and the majority of us, no matter how wide or wild the path has been, come clean or know we need to. We know that change is needed in the world, and that change can only start inside, if we’re willing to take a chance. Every chance for change needs a tribe. Welcome to the Awareness Tribe. www.awarenessties.us/tribe And welcome to ‘The Clean Edition’ of AwareNow.
ALLIÉ McGUIRE Editor In Chief & Co-Founder of Awareness Ties Allié is a Taurus. She started her career in performance poetry, then switched gears to wine where she made a name for herself as an online wine personality and content producer. She then focused on content production under her own label The Allié Way™ before marrying the love of her life (Jack) and switching gears yet again to a pursue a higher calling to raise awareness and funds for causes with Awareness Ties™.
JACK McGUIRE Production Manager & Co-Founder of Awareness Ties Jack is a Gemini. He got his start in the Navy before his acting and modeling career. Jack then got into hospitality, focusing on excellence in service and efficiency in operations and management. After establishing himself with years of experience in the F&B industry, he sought to establish something different… something that would allow him to serve others in a greater way. With his wife (Allié), Awareness Ties™ was born. DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in AwareNow are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Awareness Ties. Any content provided by our columnists or interviewees is of their opinion and not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, political group, organization, company, or individual. In fact, its intent is not to vilify anyone or anything. Its intent is to make you think. www.IamAwareNow.com @AWARENESSTIES @AWARENESSTIES @AWARENESSTIES 5
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I don’t want anyone to feel invisible. TAL ANDERSON
ACTRESS, MODEL, FILM EDITOR & AWARENESS TIES OFFICIAL AMBASSADOR FOR DISABILITY AWARENESS 6
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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: NEW AMBASSADOR
TAL ANDERSON
NAMED OFFICIAL AMBASSADOR FOR DISABILITY AWARENESS As our Awareness Tribe grows, we are honored to announce that Tal Anderson has joined Awareness Ties as an Official Ambassador for Disability Awareness. Proud to welcome this talented actress, model and film editor to our family as we work together to raise awareness. "I’m autistic, and for me that means that my brain functions differently than others. It also means that sometimes I need more time to process, and my responses to situations can be slow, or unexpected. Having a disability is just part of who I am… but I’m just like everyone else, except that sometimes I need help or accommodations to do things that other people can do without them.
Throughout my childhood, I remember seeing a few characters on screen with disabilities in various shows and movies — but NOT very many, and in most cases the characters were played in an exaggerated way, or their place in the storyline was representing their disability specifically or for inspiration. In general, though, there just weren’t very many disabled actors or characters at all, and definitely no stories from the perspective of a disabled character... Not until very recently. This has had a huge impact on viewers because…. if you are not disabled, and you have no experience in your life with disability --- then when you watch television and film you get a very incorrect view of who lives in the world.
But, for everyone else…. the majority of people (which includes everyone who is disabled themselves or has had any experience with anyone with a disability in their lifetime) those people are watching the screen and seeing that something is missing. And that's how I felt. I felt like I wasn't seen.
I want to change that for others like me, especially kids, because I don’t want anyone to feel invisible.”
Tal Anderson
"I get so depressed and angry sometimes when I read and see all of the hate and negativity that seems to be growing in the world. The Awareness Ties stories I have read, make me feel the opposite, and I think the world needs to hear these stories."
Learn more about Tal and her story…
www.awarenessties.us/tal-anderson
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It's just magical, honestly. DANIEL MORRIS
PROFESSIONAL VIOLA PLAYER 8
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DANIEL MORRIS
HEARTSTRINGS
SERVING HUMANITY BY SERENADING WITH STRINGS When viola strings serve as heartstrings, music transcends time and circumstance. Amidst the pandemic, Daniel Morris plays with purpose bringing love and light in intimate sidewalk serenades. With strings of service, Daniel uses his viola to serve hope through sound. ALLIÉ: With every loss, there’s a win. When it comes to the pandemic, with the loss of public events, you found a win with private serenades. Please share the story of your creative solution to the COVID problem.
DANIEL: Before COVID happened, I was doing a lot of big events, corporate events, big weddings. When COVID happened, I wondered if I would still be able to share my music. I asked myself, what am I gonna do? I was doing some online things, but I didn't have any idea of what continuing to do music would look like. Then I had a client reach out to me just two weeks after lockdown. She asked if I could come play outside her boss's window. I had never really done anything like that, but why not? I was desperate for a job. So, I said yes. I went down there, and she came out on the balcony. Her friend was recording, as I played a few songs for her. We posted the video online and people just loved the idea of it. They just went crazy over it - showing up at somebody's house and serenading them. It just took off. It just really snowballed. And that gave me the idea. I just started to figure out how I could offer it to people, and it grew from there.
HEART STRINGS EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DANIEL MORRIS
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It has been the highlight of my career so far. DANIEL MORRIS
PROFESSIONAL VIOLA PLAYER 10 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
ALLIÉ: You’ve made people cry. The many you’ve serenaded in person and the many who have watched your serenading online (including myself) have been moved to tears. How many serenades have you done since the pandemic began? How many have brought you to tears? Is there one in particular that moved you most?
DANIEL: I haven't really kept track, honestly. I've done probably between 800 to 1,000 thousand. I've done tons of them... But there's one that really stood out. I think you probably saw the video of the older couple that was celebrating their 67th anniversary. They were just such a sweet couple. I could just feel their love for each other. A moment created for them. I didn't even know those songs that I played were really special to them until after the fact . Their family set it up around midnight the night before. It was just kind of a last minute thing. I showed up and just sort of had a feeling to play the certain songs that I did. After the fact, they told me those songs were their songs... Songs very special to them. That moment created for them was super special.
ALLIÉ: What is it about music that makes it unique to all other forms of communication and expression with its ability to instantly elicit emotion?
DANIEL: It's not like a language where you have to understand it. You just automatically understand. It goes straight to your soul, in a way that other things don't as much. It touches people's soul. At least for me, I've seen it do that for so many people - especially with the serenades. It just touches them in a way you can't explain. It's super special to be a part of it. When you're in that moment, for me, I can feel it happening. It's just magical, honestly. It's really cool to share that with people, especially with the serenades where it's one-on-one in a really intimate setting. It's super powerful. It has been the highlight of my career so far.
ALLIÉ: Of all the instruments to play, why was the viola your instrument of choice?
DANIEL: I saw a string quartet play when I was 12-years-old at church, and I was really intrigued. I'd started on piano, when I was six. So, I played music and really loved music, but I wanted to play another instrument as well as piano. So, it piqued my interest when I saw the quartet play. I really wanted to play cello initially, but we didn't have a lot of money and my parents were renting the instruments to start. When we went to check out the instruments, the cello was twice as much to rent as a violin or viola. So, I went with the viola, because it is super similar to the cello. Tuned just an octave higher, it has some similarities to it. I decided on the viola, and I'm super glad I picked it because I do a lot of traveling, and it's so much easier to travel with. And I just love the tone, especially for the music that I play. For the popular stuff, it's right. In the vocal range, it's kind of Alto. So, it just worked really well for what I do. I'm really happy with it. 11 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“It goes straight to your soul, in a way that other things don't as much.” DANIEL MORRIS
PROFESSIONAL VIOLA PLAYER 12 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“…it’s just the beginning of it.” ALLIÉ: One last question, Daniel. When the pandemic ends, will your serenading come to a close as well? Please tell me this is only the beginning of so much serenading to come.
DANIEL: Absolutely. I feel like a lot of people ask this. They wonder when once the pandemic ends, if I'm gonna stop doing it. Definitely not. Like you said, it's just the beginning of it. The pandemic gave me the idea that I wouldn't have thought of had this not happened. Honestly, I was just doing bigger events and I was in that mode, but this really switched my thinking. This is something super special that I definitely will continue to do. I think it's just the beginning. I think people initially thought, it was just great for lockdown - perfect for that. But I feel like it's so much bigger than that. It's great for people in need of music in every situation that they're going through in life. It can touch them and bring them so much hope and healing for whatever they're going through. I think going forward, it'll be seen as more not so much about 'a cool thing to do during lockdown', but a cool thing to give people that moment to support them in whatever moment they're going through in their life. I think it's so much bigger than just doing it for people during lockdown. People need it in every situation, and honestly I want to keep doing it and see how I can grow it for sure. ∎
Follow Daniel on Instagram (@danielmorrismusic) and visit: www.danielmorrismusic.com
LIVE PERFORMANCE IN BIG SUR DANIEL MORRIS MUSIC
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Love me anyways. PADHiA
STREET ARTIST, DESIGNER, WRITER & CO-FOUNDER OF DUEL DIAGNOSIS 14 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
Photo Layer: Duel Diagnosis Artwork Layer (Blue): Sage Gallon www.IamAwareNow.com
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DAVE NAVARRO & PADHiA
DUEL DIAGNOSIS
T H E A RT I S T R Y O F A D V O C A C Y F O R A C C E P TA N C E While a ‘duel’ can be defined as a formal fight between two opponents, Dave Navarro and PADHiA are two like souls fighting the stigma of mental health issues through artistry and advocacy. Rewriting and reframing mental health as ‘aspects of the human experience’, they work to write a new narrative for mental health and addiction. ALLIÉ: It started with street art. Dave you saw the words ‘Love Me Anyways’. Let’s hear the story of the connection between you two and the concept of Duel Diagnosis that resulted. As it turns out, street art is not your only common denominator.
DAVE: I became friends with another artist, Plastic Jesus, who I was working with in his studio. PADHiA and Plastic Jesus used to share a studio space. So that's how I became aware of her as an artist. And when I saw the words, "love me anyways", it penetrated my heart in a way that I hadn't experienced before. Being someone who suffers from anxiety, PTSD, and a myriad of things that get in the way of connectedness with human beings, in addition with my past history of addiction, it really spoke to me on the level of how difficult it is to maintain healthy, supportive relationships that are loving, understanding and compassionate when I'm in a state of having some difficulty or challenges. When I have found myself in those states, the people that are closest to me sometimes don't know how to behave and react at all. And the simple phrase, just... I'm gonna cry. I cry thinking about now. "Love me anyways"...
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I just need you to be my friend and to stand with me. DAVE NAVARRO
MUSICIAN, ACTIVIST, STREET ARTIST & CO-FOUNDER OF DUEL DIAGNOSIS Photo Credit: Duel Diagnosis 16 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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DAVE: (continued) it really hit home for me. It was really powerful, because I identified with that. A lot of times human beings don't know how to support. They don't know how to hold space. No one's educated them, and no one's taught them. It's one of those things that's not their fault necessarily, but the simplicity in the message really penetrated me because that was all that was required. I don't need you to do anything different. I don't need you to treat me different. I don't need you to coddle me with kid gloves or anything like that. I just need you to be my friend and to stand with me. So, naturally, I reached out to PADHiA to purchase that piece, which is hanging in my bedroom. I see it every day when I wake up; I see it every night when I go to sleep. We connected when I got the piece and became friends. I think through dialogue and conversation and having a deep understanding that we both feel that way and really connected on that level. It really started out as a friendship based on a very simple slogan that she created that really had a profound effect on me... It was black diamond dust on a black background, and there was no imagery attached to it. It was just so pure, simple and to the point that I had to have the piece, and I had to know this woman. That was many years ago. She has since become my partner in art and one of the most important people in my life in terms of support and friendship.
“There was freedom in it, and it came from such a moment of darkness.” PADHiA: A message that you sent me about that piece was one of the biggest honors I think of my art career... to think that I had said something that touched someone like you. And it wasn't me trying to think of something to say that I could build a brand with or make some money with. It was something that I said that came from my deepest suffering. I did mean it on that level of how everyone needs to treat me, but even before that I meant it towards myself. Struggling with trauma and dysmorphia, your experience of yourself is a complete distortion. Sometimes you just can't leave the house. Sometimes I can't even answer FaceTime on the phone. I feel like I'm swimming in this weird, terrifying body. I spent so many years really unable to leave the house and one day I had this moment.. What if all these feelings I'm feeling about myself and that I'm physically seeing... What if it's all true? Can I love myself anyway? It was the biggest 'f*ck you' to all this. There was freedom in it, and it came from such a moment of darkness.
I remember when Dave started doing street art and making friends with all the artists here around this circle. Everyone was really excited. They were saying, "Oh, you've gotta message him! You've gotta meet him. He'd love your stuff. He's really cool. He'll be nice." I just thought, first of all, probably the last thing he needs is another stranger hitting him up. I just really wanted to see if it happened organically. I'm so glad that it did because it just started our friendship off on a whole other level connecting over that phrase. I was just so wrong. My catastrophizing mind instantly determined that we would have nothing in common and not become friends because our lives have been so different. But actually I discovered that even though the circumstances of our lives are so different, the language that we speak because of the effects of the trauma and the struggles, the level of empathy and compassion that we have, the way we can observe other people's nervous systems and want to show up in a soothing way... We just have a friendship that's so supportive and so deep. I just love the story of how it started out over that phrase.
DAVE: Me too. And another thing... I think another misconception and one of the things that I really got from the piece that I would say to other people that are struggling and have had similar experiences is that I can step outside of myself and look at my life. I can see that there have been areas of it that have been very successful, where I've achieved a lot of goals and dreams and that I have actually exceeded them in many ways. And I'm very grateful for that. I feel so much gratitude for that. But a lot of people who do struggle think that there is a goal or an achievement
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While our circumstances are infinite in number, there's just a very limited range of human emotion. PADHiA
STREET ARTIST, DESIGNER, WRITER & CO-FOUNDER OF DUEL DIAGNOSIS Photo Credit: Duel Diagnosis 18 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“You're not gonna get the girl that fixes it. You're not gonna get the record deal that's gonna fix it… That work has to come from within.” DAVE: (continued) or a thing that will fix all of that stuff. I can speak from experience that there isn't... You're not gonna get the girl that fixes it. You're not gonna get the record deal that's gonna fix it. You're not gonna get the show that's gonna fix it. There's no external thing or successful venture that's going to make one at peace with oneself. That work has to come from within. It's actually been in my case very difficult to find people who are compassionate, understanding and willing to hold space because they do look at my life and say, "What do you have to be upset about? What do you have to suffer about?" But the fact is, it's nothing external. As PADHiA said, it's all nervous system related. It's all CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), dysmorphia, all the things that she listed... I identify with.
When we met and started talking about these things on a friendship level, we really realized that there was something we could do together as artists that could maybe speak to that. The initial 'Duel Diagnosis' concept began when I was in New York. I was doing street art in New York City, and I was also working. We would talk on the phone every couple days. It just started as a conversation where I said something kind of flippantly... And that's one of the things that is amazing about how we work together... We listen to each other. We really listen. She will say something, or I will say something as a matter of fact, off-the-cuff line. And the other one will say, "Whoa! That what you just said right there... Write that down." So, I just said something flippantly and PADHiA caught it and wrote it down. That phrase became the birthplace of what we're doing now, which initially started as 'Selfcare Style'.
PADHiA: Yeah. You said you had to go to some event and you were really in your anxiety and all of that. And you said, "Yeah, I was dressed up, you know, all 'selfcare style'." It was the funniest thing.
DAVE: If my memory serves me, I was supposed to go to an event. I was all dressed up, ready to go and wasn't feeling safe. So, I stayed home. 'Selfcare style', meaning that I don't need to put myself through this... However it happened, it was years ago, but that's what started this this apparel line which was aimed at bringing these kinds of feelings and thoughts to the forefront of the conversation among people and letting people know they are certainly not alone. This was several years ago, and there was much more stigma around the mental health issue. Now it seems that there's a lot of signage and people talking about mental health and doing what they can to support, help and understand it. But we are now delving deeper into the root causes of why people suffer.
PADHiA: Something that we've discovered through our friendship, but also through the feedback we're getting with Duel Diagnosis is that you'd think that people really can't relate to each other because we have infinitely complex stories and they're all so different. But while our circumstances are infinite in number, there's really just a very limited range of human emotion. We've all felt the same feelings, just provoked by different circumstances. So when we start to talk about the feelings that we've had, and then the ways that we are shaped in our life because of those feelings and the dysfunctional patterns that create more of those feelings, we start to realize that it doesn't matter how different someone is in any capacity, even culturally, we are all having the same feelings. When we start meeting on that level, 19 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Like it or not, there can't be light without darkness. DAVE NAVARRO
MUSICIAN, ACTIVIST, STREET ARTIST & CO-FOUNDER OF DUEL DIAGNOSIS Photo Credit: Duel Diagnosis 20 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“We've all felt the same feelings, just provoked by different circumstances.” PADHiA: (continued) we can really start to support each other in beautiful ways. Going back to what Dave was saying a moment ago, it's true... There's nothing external that's gonna fix you or bring you happiness. But I think in starting to weave together a community of people that understand your specific human experience and where you're getting tripped up and support you on that deeper nervous system level, I really do believe that bringing those people in is what promotes flourishing. It's a refuge from things that go on in our society that are really toxic to mental health. Our society basically does the opposite of support mental health.
DAVE: There's a lot of people in this space artistically that do their best to support mental health. We have a piece that's that's coming out... You've heard the phrase 'live, laugh, love'... We did a diptych. One side says, 'live, laugh, love' the other side says 'die, cry, hate'. When somebody is suffering and they see a simple slogan that says 'live, laugh, love' and they can't access that at all, it's alienating and isolating. 'Happiness is a choice.' Tell that to someone who's suffering from deep depression, they can't choose that. So the diptych that we created just encompasses all of the human condition and is saying that it's all natural and normal to feel any aspect of this entirety of emotions. It's not just this half, because when you have messaging that only points out a half, that 90% of people who are suffering cannot identify with, that makes them feel more alone. We're trying to expand and say that we're all human going through the human experience. And like it or not, there can't be light without darkness. The darkness is sometimes okay, because it allows you to see the light at times. You think about the phrase "This too shall pass." Typically everything does pass, but guess what? There's something around the corner that you're gonna want to pass too.
PADHiA: Even that phrase... It's another one that's so mainstream accepted, but it's so damaging to people who struggle because, yeah, the thing did pass, but it's still encoded in your nervous system. You're still holding it in your body. You're still living a lesser life. You still have smaller feelings about yourself and pain. For a lot of people, things don't always pass... That's something that excites me about our project -- looking at these things and actually speaking the truth about it. Things don't pass. Happiness is not a choice. You can't always 'live, laugh, love'. It's exciting to go from that little tiny place and broadening the view to the truth of the human experience, and then hear how it's affecting people in, in powerful ways. We've always felt so isolated and broken because of these mantras that are out there.
DAVE: I just want to emphasize that we're not speaking ill of people who present those mantras, because we know it's in good faith and it's coming from a good place. In no way are we speaking ill of that intention because the intentionality is pure and loving and good. Lots of people do identify with that, it does hit them profoundly, and they are able to live that way. But we also know that there's a portion of the population that it doesn't resonate with. So, we wanted to offer that alternative and let people know that it's okay to feel human. We get messaged by so many people that are so grateful for what we're saying and what we're doing. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we get asked for advice quite a bit. The facts are that we're not therapists, and we're not doctors. We're just two more human beings going through similar things.
PADHiA: We're often in our own crisis at the time...
DAVE: Yeah! Really the only advice we have, the only thing that we can can offer, is what we're offering through our art and through our messaging and the manifesto. Those are the tools and the things that we know to be true. We are
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DAVE: (connoted) unable to work with others on a one-on-one basis. But what we can do is create from our hearts. The process of creation and coming up with alternative ways of looking at this stuff really does bring us joy. And it's seeming to resonate with a lot of people... The things that I do, I've made very public, and I've been very transparent about it. Cognitive therapy, yoga, meditation, EMDR... I'm gonna start getting into breath work. There's a lot of things that one can do. You almost have to create an army of your own selfcare, and that's an individually tailored thing.
PADHiA: It's like running a company almost, where you have to have a staff to help you show up as the best version of yourself and invite that person forward, asking how am I gonna make this person the most productive, stable person? I have to create this whole environment. I need all these components... It's like a full time management job sometimes.
DAVE: From the time I wake up to the time that my 'staff' is done with its work, it's three o'clock in the afternoon. I gotta make coffee. I gotta do yoga. I gotta meditate. I gotta do. I got a number of people to reach out to... just to be at a baseline okay place. Even on some days that doesn't work either because we get hijacked... The fact is that we struggle, but we also experience tremendous amounts of joy and have tremendous amounts of gratitude for the tremendous amounts of support and love in our lives. When it comes to Duel Diagnosis and talking about what we're doing, I think it's important for us to be transparent.
ALLIÉ: Let’s get technical for a moment. For those unaware of what ‘dual diagnosis’ actually means, please share in words of your own.
PADHiA: I think it means you're a human being. You have different things that you struggle with that come up at different times. It means that things have been pathologized. You have a label. You have a diagnosis. You have cooccurring diagnoses. What we've lost sight of is that the intention of a diagnosis is to give you greater understanding about yourself and in seeking help -- getting some type of additional support that is afforded to you because of that diagnosis. But really what a diagnosis can do is create terror, loss of hope, loss of feeling. It can create judgment and stigma. It can destroy your self worth because you thought you a person struggling with these things... that you were
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DUEL DIAGNOSIS
Exclusive Interview with Dave Navarro & PADHiA
https://awarenow.us/podcast/duel-diagnosis
PADHiA: (continued) desperate, curious and looking around trying to free yourself... but now you have this diagnosis. So, you settle down in that label and make all of your life choice from that lesser place.
DAVE: It's really like going in to sit down with a counselor, a therapist, or a doctor, and having him just flat out say there are multiple things wrong with you, which is the worst thing to say to somebody who's going through those things. I've spent a number of early years there. I struggled with addiction really bad and had been to a number of rehabs. I was always labeled as dual diagnosis, addiction and depression.. When they spell it, it's 'dual'... dual diagnosis. They're using the Latin 'two'. What we what we've done is we've changed the spelling to 'duel', as in a conflict, a fight, one against the other. If you look at our logo, it's a Rorschach test from Hermann Rorschach who invented these ink bot tests that were designed to calculate how a person is doing on a psychiatric level. You were told that there was no wrong answer in terms of what you saw in the image, but more times than not, if you didn't say, "I see, a Ferris wheel," you were locked up and underwent really hard, horrific treatments, shock therapy and things that were even more damaging. In our logo, people see two guns. People see a moth or a butterfly. All those answers are accurate, and it was designed that way. When we say 'duel' and you look at the logo and see two guns (which would be used in a duel), that's symbolic of the battles that we put ourselves through. And it's 'duel' because there's two of us in the partnership. It's also that internal struggle of, the typical struggle of the angel and devil on each shoulder, pointing guns at each other trying to win. So, the name Duel Diagnosis we've adopted to illustrate what goes on within a single individual. ∎
WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Access the full interview with Dave Navarro and PADHiA as they share more personal stories, experiences and advice. What you’ve read here is only the beginning of a conversation that informs and inspires on a whole new level. Be prepared for tears and laughter as we get real and raw with Duel Diagnosis.
Watch (https://awarenow.us/video/duel-diagnosis) or listen (https://awarenow.us/podcast/duel-diagnosis).
Learn more about Duel Diagnosis (www.dueldiagnosis.com) and follow then on Instagram (@deuldiagnosis).
23 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Ultimately, with theater and film, we don’t have the art form unless we have an audience. REGAN LINTON
CO-DIRECTOR OF IMPERFECT 24 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH REGAN LINTON & BRIAN MALONE
IMPERFECT
THE HUMANITY OF DISABILITY ON AND OFF STAGE In the film IMPERFECT, a professional company of actors with disabilities defies expectations by taking center stage in a rendition of Chicago the musical. Capturing the raw, honest stories of the actors inside the production process and outside the theatre in their everyday lives, IMPERFECT reveals a rare behind-the-scenes look at talented artists who push to succeed as professional performers, no matter the obstacles. Brilliantly directed by Regan Linton and Brian Malone, this is a needed, mustsee film for our times. ALLIÉ: I love how this film opens. In the first minute and a half, there are no words, just you, Regan, getting ready for the day. Getting out of bed, into the shower, out of the shower, into clothes, and out the door, all with the aid of your wheelchair. We get instant perspective in that silence that speaks so much about your reality and what you go through every day. Scenes like these, of everyday life, are seen throughout the film. How important was it for you to include these intimate details of ‘living with’ a disability in your story of ‘performing with’ a disability? Do you feel that by showing aspects of both personal and professional life, we’ll be able to normalize disability?
REGAN: I think it's not as much about normalizing as it is about humanizing. The definition of a norm is that most people will experience that. And while one in five people lives with a disability in this country and most likely every person will experience some sort of disability under that grand disability umbrella before they die, it's not guaranteed
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We made a conscious effort to just get out of the way of the story. BRIAN MALONE
CO-DIRECTOR OF IMPERFECT 26 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“…it’s not as much about normalizing as it is about humanizing.” REGAN: (continued) that somebody will live with a wheelchair or live with autism or live with Parkinson's or a spinal cord injury. For us, it was more about showing those details... Everybody gets up in the morning. Everybody gets up differently in the morning. Regardless of your situation, you are going to relate to either those little details of getting up or, if you've done theater in the past, the anxiety and the self-doubt that come into play. It was important for us to include those because they are the human elements. They're the human elements that regardless of who you are, what your race, what your gender, what your ability, what your background, you're going to be able to relate to those those things that connect all of us as human beings, who are working through all of our neurosis, all of our daily activities, and just trying to make it through life. Also, those are often the details that we don't see when people have disabilities or differences, whether it's because of past narratives of shame or stigma or just fear and misunderstanding. We wanted it to have a really human feel where it was honest, straightforward, and not pulling any punches or pretending that these people were not who they are and dealing with things they deal with. Those details were really important to us.
ALLIÉ: People are people, disabled or not. And yet, often, those who are disabled are looked at, not seen. Talked to, not spoken with. Heard, but not listened to. There is a disconnect. This film, in my opinion, reconnects. While different disabilities are acknowledged, our shared humanity is what’s amplified - from handling nerves on stage to managing relationships offstage. I don’t know that I’ve seen anything with a greater opportunity to experience empathy as I did with this documentary. With regard to the direction of the film, how were you able to achieve this?
BRIAN: Well, I appreciate you picking up on that because that was exactly what we were going for. We wanted to create something that was honest and not trapped into the common 'pat on the back' type of film that most films with disabilities tend to fall back on. That's an easy thing to do, but we wanted to create something that was really genuine. So, we made a conscious effort to just get out of the way of the story, frankly. A lot of it was just observing the room and letting the magic just happen in front of the lens. We chose to point the lens in the right direction and hope we were in focus. It was really all the people that appear in the film that made it what it is. From my point of view, it was just trying not to color it at all and capture it as it happened, then put some meaning to it in the edit, which I think we did in a respectful way.
ALLIÉ: Let’s stick with ‘empathy’ for a moment. And I quote, “I am an actor by trade. My greatest passion is being on the stage. It’s the greatest experience of empathy.” You share this at the beginning of the film. The truth in your statement is seen, felt and understood more and more throughout. In your experience as an actor, do you feel you personally benefit most from the empathy you gain in your role or the empathy you give to your audience?
REGAN: I feel like you set me up perfectly for this because the third option is 'both'... They don't exist without each other. I've thought a lot about this with this film. Ultimately, with theater and film, we don't have the art form unless we have an audience, and the audience brings something to it. They're bringing their experiences in, the days that they've lived before they come to the theater or come to see the movie. So you have to take them into account. They're an active participant. It's a give and take. Obviously, theater is a live art form that you're experiencing in that room and with that energy in the room. With film, it's a different thing where you have to be thinking ahead of the game and thinking of what people are gonna be experiencing. You have to place yourself in their mind with their perspective and imagine what their experience is. And so 'both'... both experiences of empathy, because all around it's about thinking beyond yourself and thinking of what this person's experience gonna be. How might they interpret this? How might they perceive it? It's about being thoughtful about how we're crafting what we're putting on stage and on screen. 27 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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…they experience something that is purely human in all of its many forms. REGAN LINTON
CO-DIRECTOR OF IMPERFECT 28 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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ALLIÉ: My husband was in tears on and off from the very beginning. We appreciated the individual realities of the disabilities shared by each of the characters. When it came to 29 minutes and 27 seconds in, I cried harder. When Erin Schneider shared a bit of her story and that she had MS, I cried a lot harder. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis just over a year ago after losing vision in my right eye. I felt I was outside looking in with this film, until I didn’t. I can only imagine how people who don’t have a disability feel outside looking in. Film is a beautiful way to bring people in. What more can be done?
REGAN: First, I appreciate that you had that experience. It was really important to us to show a wide breadth of what the disability experience can be. Often there's such a limited idea of what it means to have a disability. There's such a limited idea on the part of people who do not have disabilities about that experience must be. Often it's that it's tragic and you can't live your life, you don't have a relationship, you this, you that... So it was really important to us to push back against a lot of those assumptions or stereotypes, and to include a lot of different experiences. You don't know necessarily from every single person who's on stage throughout the film what their disability is, but it was important to us at the very end, during the credits, to show what people's disabilities are so that when you get to the end you can say, "Oh my gosh, Kevin has a traumatic brain injury?! I had a traumatic brain injury when I was young. And I was noticing that I was relating to him throughout. And now I get it..." This was important to have people feel seen, heard, recognized and significant. And then for the folks that don't necessarily have a disability (yet), it was really important to us to build those human elements. Most likely, even if you don't have a disability, you have a family member, friends, or someone who you know who does... Those kind of underlying foundational things where I'm watching a person struggle through this. I had a similar struggle and therefore we can connect, and I can experience an emotional journey with this person because I know what it's like.
BRIAN: What we're hoping to do is have people recognize a little piece of themselves in each of the characters. When you recognize that people, regardless of what they look like on the outside or what they have going on inside, you see we all have very similar dreams. We all have very similar wants, and those things are as human in one person as they are in another. To me, one of the cool things about this film is, is that it demonstrates the universal feelings of human wants and desires.
For instance, Adam wants to be a father. Why shouldn't Adam want be a father? Then there's Lucy and her proud past of commanding the stage or owning a room wherever she goes. She's still a primadonna. She might have been shaking uncontrollably due to her Parkinson's toward the end of her life, but she's still a primadonna inside. To me, that's pretty awesome. So, you recognize those things in different people -- those universal things that drive people. You realize that a lot of times in the case of physical disabilities, it's their body, or it's their mind that's firing a different way. There are these invisible barriers in the world we all live in and our perception of ‘normal'; there's just this thin membrane that separates them from anyone else. And it's a superficial membrane, in my view. I really enjoyed having each of these characters 'pop the balloon', if you will, and break through that little invisible membrane.
ALLIÉ: One of my favorite lines off the cuff lines in the film was from Lucy when she said, “I’m gonna act my tits off.” I loved this line because it made me instantly laugh out loud. It was the humor of that moment. The raw, realness of that moment. People with disabilities can be sassy and sexy, yet seldom do we see it. Do you think that if people see these other sides more that we’ll see more inclusion both on and off stage?
REGAN: We're seeing the needle moving very slowly, but it's moving a little. I get more and more acting breakdowns looking for people with disabilities to be in predominantly in TV and films -- theaters still working at it. They're a little behind. But I do think if Phamaly, the theater company, shows us anything, it's that from 32 years of them doing their shows in Denver, you'll find that Denver has a very different awareness of disability. I think everybody that has come to a Phamaly show comes in with their preconceived notions about what it's going to be, who these people are, or what the quality is gonna be. And then they leave being transformed, not just about the folks with disabilities, but more so themselves. One of the things we often heard over the years with Phamaly is people come in saying, "In the first 10 minutes, I saw the disabilities. And then after 10 minutes they just disappeared." But no, the disabilities didn't go anywhere. What changed was your perspective of the disability or whatever fear, apprehension or uncertainty you brought in that changed. Hopefully, that is what people will also experience with this film... that they experience something that is just purely human in all of its many forms. I can tell you without a doubt, the people in the disability 29 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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What we're hoping to do is have people recognize a little piece of themselves in each of the characters. BRIAN MALONE
CO-DIRECTOR OF IMPERFECT 30 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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IMPERFECT
Exclusive Interview with Regan Linton & Brian Malone
https://awarenow.us/podcast/imperfect
REGAN: (continued) community are some of the sassiest, sexiest, and most badass people that I have ever met. Because they go through life on a different path, that really makes for very unique, creative human beings. I feel bad for anybody who lets fear get in the way and doesn't end up engaging with people in the disability community. I know it sounds cliche or something, but it really is the truth. They're just extraordinary. All of the people that I know in the community are extraordinary.
BRIAN: There's a little sound bite from one of the actors that didn't actually make it into the final cut, but one of the actors says, "You know, people with disabilities are just like everyone else. They're talented. They're brash. And sometimes they're assholes. Guess what? They're just like everyone else." We didn't put it in, but it's still one of my favorites that I like to bring up.
ALLIÉ: Your direction to the actors during callbacks, “As you’re moving, what can your body do that no other body can do? Don’t be judging… I want to see you bring your fullest self.” What an important question and inspiring directive. It applies to all of us, not just those of us with disabilities. From the stories of the actors and your own, what is it that you want audiences to take away from IMPERFECT? What do you want them to never forget?
REGAN: There's a reason we named it imperfect, right? It's about these amazing people that are not perfect. None of us is perfect... You can't live your entire life according to someone else's expectations or someone else's standards. You have to give yourself the freedom to figure out what works for you... Live in all the things that are still possible for you -- you as an individual... Start thinking about what matters to you, what are you passionate about? What can you do? Don't build a life according to external expectations and sources.
ALLIÉ: I love that. Brian, do you have anything more to add?
BRIAN: Ditto. I just hope the film speaks for itself. I don't think there's anything I could say any better than just letting the work speak for itself and hoping that people get it like you did, which I appreciate. Thank you. ∎
IMPERFECT
Website: www.imperfectfilm.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/imperfectthefilm
Twitter: www.twitter.com/imperfectfilm2
Instagram: www.instagram.com/imperfectfilm/
31 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘FEARLESS WARRIOR’ SAGE GALLON
32 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: ART FOR AWARENESS
BEAUTY IN THE BID
GOING ONCE, TWICE, (ALMOST) SOLD TO SUPPORT AWARENOW Now is your chance to bid on original artwork to help raise awareness. Donated by Sage Gallon, Awareness Ties Official Ambassador for Homelessness Awareness, two epic pieces are being sold to support AwareNow Magazine, as we continue to raise awareness for causes one story at a time. I have no words...
“You know she's you, right?"
This is what Sage Gallon told me, as he donated this original piece entitled 'Fierce Warrior' (https://awarenow.us/ art/fierce-warrior) to be auctioned for 100% of proceeds to support Awareness Ties. In addition, he also donated a second original entitled 'Young Cat' (https://awarenow.us/art/young-cat) from a special series of his paintings.
"The 'Blowing in the Wind' Series speaks to the storms we face yet no matter how hard the winds blow, no matter how fierce the storm, we can still STAND TALL and not allow the storm to blow us over or away."
- Sage Gallon
I can't express the level of gratitude that both Jack and I share for Sage and his contribution of time and talent to support Awareness Ties, AwareNow Magazine and the work we do to raise awareness for the causes that tie us all together. It means the world.
Love art? Love these pieces? Love supporting stories that change lives?
You are invited to bid before January 31 when the auction closes... https://awarenow.us/auction-for-awareness
When we’re closest to the fall, may we all find strength in standing tall.
For all the support from our ambassadors, columnists, advisors and readers (including you), thank you for believing in us and in the power of a story.
Sincerely,
Allié McGuire
33 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘YOUNG CAT’ SAGE GALLON
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It was a Friday afternoon, in beautiful Costa Rica, when we felt ‘the lump’. CHRISTINE & COREY CASTILLO 36 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘FELLOW TRAVELERS’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY LAURA SHARPE
THIS IS FAITH
A TESTAMENT TO OVERCOMING TRAUMA WITH TRUST Approximately 5 years ago, out of the blue while traveling, I received a phone call from a professional gentleman by the name, Dr. Corey Castillo. A stranger at that time, Corey called to learn more about the 501(c)3 non-profit Artists For Trauma that I had founded, and how could he help. Subconsciously, I realized the call I had received was carrying one of life’s most powerful activations. The universe’s message that something much greater and beyond myself was happening. Generously, Corey volunteered to be an active executive advisor to myself and the Artists For Trauma Board of Directors in the development of our national healthcare partner process to empower trauma survivors through artistic expression, medical collaboration, and human connection. A year or two passes and at an unknown intersection of time, Corey calls, this time sharing a heart-breaking message that his love, his beautiful, healthy wife has been segued into a new, invasive raw reality. That was the beginning of their long, non-linear journey of recovery, rehabilitation, and metamorphosis. Always the consummate professional, my friend and business advisor was clearly in angst, shock and pain, caring only to be with his wife and advocate for her life. With great respect to Christine and Corey Castillo, I thank Christine for taking the courageous lead as she and Corey share their personal, vulnerable journey through trauma and miracle as this inaugural ‘Fellow Travelers’ column. It was a Friday afternoon, in beautiful Costa Rica, when we felt ‘the lump’.
We had been married for only five days and were enjoying our honeymoon experience when we discovered [what was soon to reveal itself as] one of life’s most valuable trials.
We had gotten married the Sunday before and, as most newlywed couples, had “it all planned out.” After discovering the lump, we decided to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon and look into it upon our return. A couple weeks later, we got the news.
CHRISTINE: “It was about 12:00PM when I received the call from my physician. He asked me to head over to the hospital. I knew it was serious. My stomach was in knots during the entire drive. Once I got there, I met with my physician and he shared the news, “you have breast cancer.” I stepped out of that appointment, trying to understand what I just heard. I sat in my car, gathered my emotions, and took a moment to call my husband and let him know.”
COREY: “I was in meeting when my cell phone rang. I knew my wife would be calling with an update, so I stepped out of my meeting to hear the news. She told me, “I have breast cancer.” I left work and drove home to be with my wife.”
We spent the evening discussing the news. As anyone could imagine, our minds were overwhelmed with all of the questions anyone could expect— How did this happen? What caused this? What could I have done to prevent this? How bad is this, really? We soon realized that, at the end of the day, trying to know the unknowable is a fool’s errand. We simply had to face what “is” and let go of the idea of what “could have been instead.” 37 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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It was time to ‘buckle up’ and take on another year of challenges. CHRISTINE & COREY CASTILLO 38 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“In these cases, our vanity seems to fall while life, itself, becomes far more precious…” Additionally, we found it easy to fall into the “I don’t deserve this” type of mindset, which we quickly and fortunately stepped out of. At the end of they day, no one “deserves” life’s random trials more than anyone else. Thinking that way only leads to bitterness and nothing more.
Over the months that followed, we made some pretty tough decisions, although they all held one thing in common— peace of mind. We, as a unified team, were willing to “bite the bullet” in making tough decisions now for peace of mind tomorrow, while still making sure we had a shot at starting a family.
So, we decided to “pull the trigger” on one of the most difficult decisions of my life— on March 17th, 2016, I decided to get a double mastectomy.
While the surgeries – the double mastectomy and following reconstructive surgeries – were difficult enough, the change to my body was the toughest obstacle to overcome. I had lost my breasts.
After almost a year, four surgeries, and multiple treatments later, I was back to as “normal” of a life as I could expect. It was a Friday afternoon. I was in my one-year follow-up appointment, excited to put a “check mark” on completing the toughest year of my life, and in anticipation of a celebration dinner my husband planned that night, when life threw another curveball.
CHRISTINE: “It was exactly one year from the date of my double mastectomy. It was about 4:30PM when I met with my physician. He told me, “We found a recurrence.” My heart dropped. How could this have happened? I lived a healthy lifestyle and took all the precautions in the world to prevent this! Again, I walked to my car, crying, and called my husband.”
COREY: “I was in my office when she called. Excited to celebrate one year since a double mastectomy, I picked up the phone with enthusiasm but heard my wife’s voice cracking. The words were stuck in her throat. “It came back…” I left the office and drove home to be with my wife.”
We took the weekend to make sense of all the news we received, tame our emotions, and determine our options. It was time to ‘buckle up’ and take on another year of challenges.
Sparing details, we tackled yet another year…
Fast forward [what turned out to be] 3 years from that point, and countless difficult details, we ultimately underwent seven surgeries and several months of various treatments, some more aggressive than others. Life truly dragged us through the mud in many respects.
39 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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…at the end of the day, we had what we wanted, health and peace of mind. CHRISTINE & COREY CASTILLO 40 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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As far as my breasts, we took them off, built them back on, took them off, built them back on again, burned them with radiation, and then smoothed out some rough edges— yes, just like that. But, in these cases, our vanity seems to fall while life, itself, becomes far more precious, so the concern with my breasts began to fade and beauty took on a new definition. Additionally, these days, plastic surgeons can rebuild anything to look amazing!
But, at the end of the day, we had what we wanted, health and peace of mind. We were also able to finally start the family we dreamed of by having our little girl, Ellie.
So, we look back and ask ourselves, what did we learn? What did we gain from this trial life seemed to have blessed us with? The answer, faith. There’s a big difference between [conceptually] “surrendering to God during seasons of pleasure” and [actually] “submitting to His will during seasons of suffering.” Throughout this entire journey, our prayers were not just hopeful requests for quick healing, but rather painful cries to keep us close to Him and the meaning he provides, regardless of outcome. This is faith.
At the time of diagnosis, Christine was a Behavioral Therapist for a school district; Corey was then Head of Optimization for a national non-profit. Together, they rose above and beyond the painful realities of invasive double breast cancer and disfiguring reconstruction treatments that attacked Christine’s body, mind, spirit, and family. Christine and Corey’s authentic testament following traumatic metamorphosis is that they are stronger in their faith and love. They focus on each other, family, thriving health, career, and service. Together, their family enjoys trying new restaurants, hiking, working out together, and spending quality time with their loved ones. Alongside faith, Christine and Corey’s personal core values are truth, honor, grace, strength, and versatility. ∎ Christine Castillo
Overcoming breast cancer multiple times, invasive breast reconstructions, and an incredible healing journey. Christine miraculously continues to exemplify strength, fortitude, resiliency, and leadership. Today, Christine Castillo works from home in Sales & Marketing while actively supporting other women facing similar trials related to breast cancer. Christine is a fully engaged loving wife, partner, and mother to the miracle birth of their first child, a healthy baby girl. Dr. Corey Castillo (Ed.D.)
Dr. Corey Castillo (www.coreymcastillo.com) is a Business Strategist and Executive Leader with proven results in organizational optimization, strategic development, and revenue enhancement across multiple industries. From Health & Fitness to Corporate Philanthropy, Professional Services, Healthcare, Law, and a variety of other fields, Corey serves on multiple nonprofit boards such as Living with Beauty and other cancer support services, volunteer initiatives dedicated to faith, health, and youth development. Breast Cancer Awareness & Resource Links:
Susan G. Komen: www.komen.org/breast-cancer/screening Living with Beauty: www.livingbeauty.org Ruth Swissa Medical Micropigmentation Specialist: www.ruthswissa.com/there-is-life-after-breast-cancer
LAURA SHARPE
Artists For Trauma Founder & Executive Director, Trauma Survivor & Artist www.awarenessties.us/laura-sharpe LAURA SHARPE contributes to AwareNow with her exclusive column, ‘Fellow Travelers’. Trauma, tragedy and miracle are all part of the life process. They do not discriminate nor are they fairly distributed. Simultaneously they occur across all diverse cultures, countries, colors, ethnicities, genders, religious beliefs, and dimensions of time and thought on planet Earth. In this process of life, birth and re-birth; decay and destruction are integral to creating new life. As fellow travelers, we are mindful, compassionate, and intentional through our attitude and actions to one another. We share our authentic personal story of survival or service to offer relatability, respect and hope to others who are navigating intense physical, mental and emotional life impact. Uncomfortably or joyfully, we share the range of human emotions related to our personal trauma or miracle. In the end or the new beginning, we learn we are all fellow travelers.
41 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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It is the removal of a deception and a duality. PAUL S. ROGERS
TRANSFORMATION EXPERT, AWARENESS HELLRAISER & PUBLIC SPEAKER 42 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘RELEASE THE GENIE’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY PAUL S. ROGERS
COMING CLEAN FACING THE FACADE
Release the Genie Fact: When a genie enters a room ,it doesn’t turn on the lights, it turns off the darkness. This article is inspired by those brave warriors dealing with adversity and invisible demons. The type of difficulties that the hardest question you could possible answer is “How are you?” It is the time when it is easier just to throw out the stock prepared “I'm fine” response. Bonus points for the accompanying smile too! So what does coming clean mean? It is the removal of a deception and a duality. We have all been there. It is that time when we have to balance telling the truth or perpetuating the lie. That dilemma is summed up beautifully by The Clash in ‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go. If I Go, There Will Be Trouble And If I Stay It Will Be Double’. It is in this contemplation gap that the seeds of awareness are sown. The seed is the awareness that there is a different story and beat you are being called to, rather than the one being followed. Once this seed has been planted, and it begins to call, its call cannot be unheard. The person risks outrage, vulnerability and loss of some sort of status in following the call. It is this personal story of conflict which is so valuable in helping others with their own journey and struggles. It gives courage and solidarity by showing a possible path of coming clean. A virtual gift of hindsight shown through the eyes of awareness.
“The ultimate signature camouflage is the smile.” We have become masters of faking being well, which is so much harder than faking being unwell. The ultimate signature camouflage is the smile. This is a straight replication of what goes on in nature. For example, the chameleon that changes colour to suit its surroundings, the pretty butterfly that appears to have two big eyes on its wings to deter predators. It biologically fools the processing system of the other person to react to what it sees.
Another great camouflage is humour. Anyone who is a fan of the 90’s TV show Friends knows that Chandler uses humour as a defence mechanism. How true! Why do we laugh at ourselves? What we are laughing at is the difference between what is going on on the inside of our minds versus the outside. Genuine self humour is the difference between the truth/reality vs the facade we want to show. The ability to laugh at yourself is a mark of great self realisation and awareness.
I have found that picking the right audience is crucial to the decision to come clean. I know you, as the readers, are the right audience and are seekers of the real story.
With everyone, there comes a breaking point. Coming clean becomes the only option. This point marks an important mental shift. The shift from outcome to purpose. By coming clean you reach a dangerous level of ‘badassery’ in that you don't care and you will let the chips fall where they land.
So does the truth set you free? This is a question you already know the answer to. In my experience, it is never easy and there is an element of pain. However, the benefits of not having to hold on to that burden of duel identities, and being out to take off the camouflage, is worth it. 43 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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AwareNow Podcast
COMING CLEAN
Written and Narrated by Paul S. Rogers
https://awarenow.us/podcast/coming-clean
“The body always keeps the score, even when the mind is writing checks that the body cannot cash." One of the many reasons why I am so honoured to be one of the ambassadors for the human cause under TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and PTSD is that in order to truly represent these causes, I need to come clean and tell the truth. The truth is rarely pretty and is not always easy to accept; but by standing up for something you believe in you make the shift from outcome to purpose. A cost I am willing to pay.
Final thoughts. I deeply appreciate and applaud anyone who is willing and able to come clean. I also see the bravery and know the huge amount of energy it takes in attempting to cover and camouflage that truth until the right time. This is the sacrifice of hiding in the light. The body always keeps the score, even when the mind is writing checks that the body cannot cash.
Fear not, for the vast majority of people cannot see behind the camouflage. For those of us in your tribe who can, we love you and you are not alone. Your secret, until you're willing to share it, is safe with us and when you do come clean, we will be there. ∎
PAUL S. ROGERS
Transformation Expert, Awareness Hellraiser & Public Speaker www.awarenessties.us/paul-rogers PAUL S. ROGERS is a keynote public speaking coach, “Adversity to hope, opportunity and prosperity. “Transformation expert, awareness Hellraiser, life coach, Trauma TBI, CPTSD mentor, train crash and cancer survivor, public speaking coach, Podcast host “Release the Genie” & Best-selling author. His journey has taken him from from corporate leader to kitesurfer to teacher on first nations reserve to today. Paul’s goal is to inspire others to find their true purpose and passion.
44 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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WHEN IT COMES TO AWARENESS,
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My song is an illustration of how I struggle with anxiety. ETHAN BLONDEEL
SINGER/SONGWRITER 46 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH ETHAN BLONDEEL
XAN
AN ACOUSTIC ODE TO ANXIETY Of all the ways to cope with anxiety, an acoustic option was Ethan’s choice. When you’ve managed with medicine for all too long, sometimes the only thing that helps is a song. Addressing his past fix, singer and songwriter, Ethan Blondeel, acoustically fixated on Xanex. In sharing his personal struggle with anxiety through a song, he hopes to help others cope. For his strength in sharing his story and song, and for being my amazing son of whom I’m so proud, I say, “Thank you, Ethan." ALLIÉ: Through singing and songwriting, you draw out emotion. What is drawn in ‘Xan’?
ETHAN: My song is an illustration of how I struggle with anxiety. Xanax is a tool I used to help numb the feeling.
ALLIÉ: Does writing and playing music help you as much as the Xanax?
ETHAN: Probably helps me more than anything.
ALLIÉ: Are there other songs you’ve written about medications?
ETHAN: I wrote the song Vivian about Vyvanse.
ALLIÉ: What advice would you give to other people dealing with anxiety?
ETHAN: Don’t numb it. Overcome it.
XAN ORIGINAL SONG BY ETHAN BLONDEEL
47 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Don’t numb it. Overcome it. ETHAN BLONDEEL
SINGER/SONGWRITER 48 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
“Please help me… I’m not crazy.” XAN
By: Ethan Blondeel
I call Xan when I get the shakes
Doesn’t really stop it so much as it helps me relate
Is Xan the only other answer definitively
For my anxiety to get out of me
So I can feel tranquil like a zombie
Oh Xany
My baby
Please help me
I’m not crazy
Don’t care about the vibes you put off
I just want you inside my mind to help me feel soft
Don’t care about the side effects that you bring
I just want you coursing through my brain
Oh Xany
My baby
Please help me
Please save me
If you or someone you love is experiencing a debilitating anxiety attack, free help is a phone call away.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline
1-800-950-NAMI (6264) Follow Ethan on Instagram:
@ethanb928
Hear his music on Soundcloud:
https://awarenow.us/music/ethan-blondeel
49 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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We all need to be there when someone reaches out. LUCIA MARTINEZ ROJAS
SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGIST, ACCELERATING SOCIAL GOOD 50 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
FEATURE STORY BY LUCIA MARTINEZ ROJAS
DON’T GIVE UP
ANIMATED AWARENESS FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION Written first as a poem by Diane Kaufman, MD, (of Mind Matters) then turned into lyric and song, and transformed into an animation video by Lucia Martinez Rojas, ‘Don’t Give Up’, inspires hope in our ongoing efforts to prevent suicide. The intention is to motivate people to never give up, to let them know that they are not alone and that help is available. The two key concepts underlying the animation were phrases from Diane Kaufman’s beautiful poignant poem: ‘a simple touch can say and do so much’ and ‘reaching out’. We as human beings are born to touch and need touch from each other. Our bodies are designed to respond to touch to acknowledge our existence as well as that of others.
One of the simplest exchanges of trust happens when two people shake hands. Hence, I created two hands to tell a simple story conveying the message of empathy and understanding through these hands coming together and touching using chameleonic colors throughout. These hands belong to one individual but act as two sides, showing the inner struggle of one’s self reaching out and being reached by another. A dance of indecision happens throughout the video, depicting the difficulty of escaping a dark mentality, but culminating in the synching of both hands in a common gesture or goal. The result is a short color ballet between the sender of the message and the recipient. I believe suicide prevention is really everyones responsibility. We all need to be there when someone reaches out, to give a helping hand to anybody in need. It’s a duality as noted in the song: “Give me your hand and together we can battle this darkness.” ∎ Sharing is caring. Please VIEW and SHARE this Suicide Prevention PSA below:
DON’T GIVE UP ACCELERATING SOCIAL GOOD SUICIDE PREVENTION PSA
51 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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We are getting closer to finding multiple solutions to many problems that plague the mind and humankind. DR. NICOLAS BAZAN
BOYD PROFESSOR AND DIRECTOR OF LSU HEALTH NEW ORLEANS NEUROSCIENCE CENTER OF EXCELLENCE 52 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
‘BEING BAZAN’ A SPOTLIGHT SERIES FEATURING DR. NICOLAS BAZAN
THE PIONEER
NEW POSSIBILITIES IN NEUROSCIENCE Nicolas G. Bazan, MD, PhD, has been called “a true renaissance man”. He’s an innovative research scientist, inspiring teacher, effective mentor, generous community leader, creative author, screenplay cowriter/executive movie producer, patron of the arts, entrepreneur and above all an exemplary family man. In the ‘Being Bazan’ spotlight series, Dr. Nicolas Bazan’s work as a pioneer in neuroscience is our focus today. Finding a cure begins with curiosity. When it comes to the mind, the most complex object in the universe, there are no simple solutions for its injuries, traumas or diseases. However, there is hope in the discoveries made and insights found. A pioneer in neuroscience, specifically as it relates to brain and retinal aging, Dr. Nicolas Bazan MD, PhD, Boyd Professor and Director of LSU Health New Orleans Neuroscience Center of Excellence is blazing trails with his research. He’s asking the right questions and finding rewarding answers in unexpected cellular molecular new alleys.
Pioneering this research, Dr. Bazan and his team are on a quest to understand the biology of successful brain and retina aging. This understanding supports the ongoing search to further identify potential drugs that can prevent or slow the onset and progression of Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.
The following discoveries are tied to mechanisms that Dr. Bazan and his colleagues have found regarding ‘cell pathways of neuroprotective lipid mediators’. For those unfamiliar with this reference, we're talking about compounds made from essential fatty acids derived from the diet that are highly potent in low amounts to sustain the functional integrity of the brain and retina. Descriptions and details of these discoveries are publicly shared here today:
DISCOVERY 1: ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE
The onset of neurodegenerative diseases reflects a failure of neuronal cell survival. It is in a way an inability to successfully age, that is to be able to live over nine decades without neuropathologies. Neurodegeneration activates detrimental events, including inflammation that leads to progressive cognitive decline (e.g., dementia, as in Alzheimer’s Disease (AD)) and sight failure (blindness, as in age-related macular degeneration (AMD)).
Dr. Bazan has identified novel mediators, the elovanoids (ELVs), that control the unfolding of neuroinflammation, restore homeostasis and function. ELVs are 32C and 34C,n-3 stereospecific dihydroxylated molecules derived from Very Long Chain Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids,n-3 (VLC-PUFA). Recent results demonstrate that the targets of ELVs include senescence gene programming and other events necessary to sustain neuronal functional integrity.
In both brain and retina interdependent cellular systems, neurons-glia (astrocytes and microglia) and retinal pigment epithelial cells - photoreceptor cells (a differentiated neuron) sustain homeostasis. A proof of principle of the significance of lipid mediators yielded the recent unexpected discovery of insufficiencies of the biosynthetic ELVs pathway in the hippocampus of the 5XFAD model and that the ELV and the neuroprotectin D1 (NPD1) pathway are
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“These studies uncovered fundamental events in the biology of aging, reveal new biomarkers of prodromal disease stages and open avenues of therapeutic exploration.” downregulated, preceding neuronal cell loss. Furthermore, ELVs protect human retinal cells in cultures from oligomeric Aβ (OAβ) peptide-mediated toxicity and arrest senescence gene programming expression, including SASP secretome. In AMD, OAβ sets inflammatory events in motion that contribute to photoreceptors cell death. ELVs prevented OAβ-induced changes in the expression of genes engaged in senescence, inflammation, autophagy, extracellular matrix remodeling, and AMD. Thus, multiple disrupting mechanisms that lead to the onset and progression of AD and the dry-form AMD are targeted in a redundant fashion by ELVs and related lipid mediators. These studies uncovered fundamental events in the biology of aging, reveal new biomarkers of prodromal disease stages and open avenues of therapeutic exploration.
For more on these findings, read documentation in the National Library of Medicine:
Overview of how N32 and N34 elovanoids sustain sight by protecting retinal pigment epithelial cells and photoreceptors: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33662383
DISCOVERY 2: LATE-ONSET RETINAL DEGENERATION MECHANISM
AND POTENTIAL RX
Understanding mechanisms that preserve photoreceptors and retinal pigment epithelial (RPE) cells’ functional integrity for decades in healthy eyes, correlate to the preservation of sight, despite their hostile environment (light exposure, high oxygen consumption, the formation of highly reactive retinoids, the abundance of peroxidation-susceptible polyunsaturated fatty acids, and other adversities). Similar events likely operate to sustain successful brain aging. 54 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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An innovative study led by Dr. Kapil Barthi from the National Eye Institute (NIH) that included five researchers from the Nicolas Bazan lab at the LSU Health New Orleans Neuroscience Center of Excellence has discovered how late-onset retinal degeneration develops and a surprising potential therapeutic -- metformin. A key event in this disease development is targeted by neuroprotectin D1 (NPD1) and other mediators that were discovered earlier by Dr. Bazan. He and his colleagues also showed that NPD1 protects photoreceptors, hence damage. These events are a key consequence of the mutation studied here, and likely participate in other retinal degenerative diseases.
Late-onset retinal degeneration is an autosomal dominant disorder caused by the substitution of a different amino acid in the protein made by the CTRP5 gene. Earlier discoveries by Dr. Bazan on retina lipids that protect sight helped lay the groundwork for the current study. This collaborative study suggests a mechanism for the dominant behavior of the CTRP5 gene mutation, which had been until now unclear.
The protein made by the CTRP5 gene has been identified as a biomarker for obesity and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, suggesting a role for this protein in regulating cellular fatty acid metabolism. An enzyme called 5'AMP-activated protein kinase (AMPK) induces CTRP5 to regulate fatty acid metabolism and energy stability. Retinal pigment epithelium (RPE) cells take up photoreceptor outer segments, which have an abundance of fatty acids and lipids.
"Increasing evidence demonstrates that the tips of visual cells that are daily shed in RPE cells convert docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) into Neuroprotectin D1 (NPD1) and other mediators that protect the photoreceptors from photooxidative damage and consequences of mutations such as the one studied here," notes Dr. Bazan. "AMPK in the RPE itself is likely a key regulator of the conversion of DHA into protective mediators.” It has been suggested that dysregulation of fatty-acid and lipid metabolism contributes to the atrophy of RPE cells found in age-related macular degeneration. The study found this in cells from patients with late-onset retinal degeneration, as well as reduced secretions of CTRP5. Lower CTRP5 levels are associated with sustained activation of AMPK, which leads to its insensitivity to changes in the cellular energy status.
"Mechanistically, reduced secretion of CTRP5 and predicted lower binding affinity of mutant CTRP5 to the receptor for the gene that makes lipoproteins that carry fats in the bloodstream is the likely reason for the genetically dominant behavior of this disease," says Dr. Bazan, who also holds the Ernest C. and Yvette C. Villere Chair for the Study of Retinal Degeneration.
The researchers found that metformin was effective in re-sensitizing AMPK to changes in cellular stress, restoring energy stability, and alleviating the disease's cellular phenotypes.
Bazan concludes, "The study offers novel insights into the role of CTRP5 in the RPE and how the pathogenic variant in late-onset retinal degeneration causes dominant disease and provides further evidence that metformin can be a beneficial intervention for its treatment.” Read more about this discovery in the Nature Journal Communications Biology:
AMPK modulation ameliorates dominant disease phenotypes of CTRP5 variant in retinal degeneration:
https://www.nature.com/articles/s42003-021-02872-x 55 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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DISCOVERY 3: PEDIATRIC BRAIN TUMOR
In a collaboration with Professor Gerry Melino and his team (University of Rome, Tor Vergata), it was discovered that ELOVL4 increases during neuronal differentiation of a brain tumor cell (neuroblastoma (NB) cells). ELV4 is the neuron specific, key enzyme that makes the elovanoid precursors. This reports that the expression of the gene ELOVL4 transcription is inhibited by MYCN through a binding-dependent mechanism that may involve the molecules engaged in epigenetic regulation. A key finding is that the expression of ELOVL4 is higher in localized tumors at stages 1 and 2 compared with those at high-risk stages 3 and 4. High expression of ELOVL4 identifies subsets of tumor patients with a better prognosis.
Understanding the genetic and metabolic alterations in cancer progression is the essence of precision oncology in which treatments are tailored to the peculiar features in each person's cancer. This therapeutic approach is particularly important in childhood cancers, such as neuroblastoma, where the young age of the patients and their inherent frailty call for treatments that specifically target cancer cells while sparing the healthy ones. In fact, while lowrisk neuroblastoma patients experience a 97% cure rate, high risk patients show a very low success rate, well below 40%. Therefore, the identification of prognostic signatures is of pivotal interest.
In addition to the oncogene frequently amplified in neuroblastoma (MYCN), our paper identifies a negative prognostic regulator the transcription of the "ELOngation of Very Long chain fatty acids protein 4" (ELOVL4). More in detail, survival analyses reveal that high expression of ELOVL4 identifies a subgroup of neuroblastoma patients with a better prognosis. Therefore, the expression of ELOVL4, which is higher in differentiated neuroblastoma cells, seems to be a biomarker of prognosis in neuroblastoma patients. The results also provide new insights in the lipid metabolism of cancer during its malignant progression, possibly offering potential new therapeutic targets.
For more on these findings, read documentation in the National Library of Medicine:
The expression of ELOVL4, repressed by MYCN, defines neuroblastoma patients with good outcome:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34333551
Dr. Nicolas Bazan’s research tackles fundamental unanswered events and questions of brain function and dysfunctions, aging and biology. As an example, he is interested in understanding how genes elicit their functions and how decisions to turn them on and off are made at the cell and molecule level. Specifically, how genetic, epigenetic and non-genetic elements during the lifecycle and in the implementation of disease susceptibility, onset and progression take place.
“The decoding of these issues offers unexplored approaches and solutions to mankind's challenges.” Genetics or genomics embodies all heritable cell activities and functions. Epigenetics is driven by changes in our behaviors (cell level or entire person, e.g. depression) and environment that in turn affect the way our genes are turned on or off. Epigenetics modifications are reversible and do not modify our gene DNA structure. However, they can drastically change how our cells and entire organism reads a DNA sequence and responds. The ‘read’ part is critically important. Dr. Bazan is deciphering how specific lipid mediators have a saying in this molecular dialogue. The decoding of these issues offers unexplored approaches and solutions to mankind's challenges. 56 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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DISCOVERY 4: NOVEL COMBINATORY THERAPY FOR STROKE
This cover of CNS Neuroscience & Therapeutics is based on the original article by Nicolas G. Bazan, Ludmila Belayev et al.:
DHA modulates MANF and TREM2 abundance, enhances neurogenesis, reduces infarct size, and improves neurological function after experimental ischemic stroke:
https://doi.org/10.1111/cns.13444
The publication highlighted by the journal cover reported the targeting and resolved neuroinflammation in experimental ischemic stroke using a brain-bioavailable PAF receptorantagonist, LAU-0901 (blocker of neuroinflammatory signaling), plus aspirin-triggered NPD1 to promote neuronal cell survival (by enhancing pro-homeostatic/neuroinflammatory modulatory responses).
With each discovery made on this pioneered path, we get closer to finding multiple solutions to many problems that plague the mind and humankind. ∎
Support Dr. Bazan’s work with a donation to the LSU Health Foundation.
While LSU Health New Orleans strives to discover, teach, heal, and serve, LSU Health Foundation New Orleans strives to connect the needs for critical funding to those capable of providing critical funds.
Donations to support Dr. Nicolas Bazan’s work can be made here:
https://give.lsuhealthfoundation.org/givenow
Please designate: ‘Medicine – Neuroscience Dr. Bazan Research’
Born in Argentina, MD, at the University of Tucuman in Argentina, trained at Columbia University P&S, NYC, and Harvard Medical School. He was appointed faculty at age 26 at Univ. of Toronto/Clarke Institute of Psychiatry. He is Founding Director of the Neuroscience Center of Excellence, School of Medicine, LSU Health New Orleans, inaugural founder of The Ernest C. and Yvette C. Villere Chair for Research in Retinal Degeneration (1984-), and appointed to the highest academic rank in the LSU System, a Boyd Professor (1994-). He is also a Foreign Adjunct Professor of Neuroscience, Karolinska Institutet, Stockholm, Sweden. Learn more about Dr. Bazan: www.awarenessties.us/nicolasbazan
57 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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I never quit on people. MIKE DIAMOND
TV PERSONALITY, DIRECTOR, INTERVENTIONIST & AWARENESS TIES OFFICIAL AMBASSADOR 58 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH MIKE DIAMOND
INNERVENTION
SUSTAINABLE CHANGE BEGINS WITHIN Once lost between the highs and lows of life, Mike Diamond found himself along with his inner strength that he uses to support others in need of intervention. Sober since April 16, 2006, Mike Diamond is an author, speaker, coach, interventionist and the Awareness Ties Official Ambassador of Addiction. ALLIÉ: Most of life happens between the highs and the lows. However, the most memorable moments are often our highest and our lowest. Let’s get personal, Mike. When it comes to your life, Mike, what was your lowest moment? What was your highest?
MIKE: That’s a great question. For me my lowest moment was April 15th 2006. I had try to stay clean for a month, which was usually easy for me to do. But this time around a really struggled. I did 23 days clean and thought I was good, how wrong I was. I went on a seven day bender drinking all day and night and snorting copious amounts of cocaine. From the outside everything look great, I was a partner in one of the hottest bars in Manhattan. I was shooting a VH1 pilot with Scott Weiland, but I was completely miserable, tired, burnt out and losing myself. The next day on April 16th 2006, I walked into an AA meeting and never looked back.
One of my highest of highs, which I have had plenty over the years, was the birth of my son Orlando. I never thought I would have kids to be completely honest. But once Orlando was born my life changed forever. Being able to give him the guidance, unconditional love and life I never had, is a true gift and something I cherish and take very seriously.
ALLIÉ: When did you realize you were addicted to drinking? When did you decide to stop?
MIKE: I really didn’t think I had a problem, as I could always show up to work or shoot a tv show, even after a massive bender. I never missed the gym ever and ironically ate very healthy as well. My realization was more spiritual. I realized how unhappy I was and how my drinking and drug use, was my way of escaping reality, instead of acknowledging my pain, trauma and shortcomings. April 15th 2006 was the last day I was high.
ALLIÉ: Now sober for almost 16 years, do you find it gets easier or harder every year?
MIKE: Drinking and doing drugs is never on my mind these days. What gets real and hard, is the work I have to do daily to remain spiritually fit. If I don’t stay on my daily routine and rituals of meditation, journaling, exercising, checking in with other sober people in my inner circle and reading, I’m a disaster. I have to stay self disciplined everyday and never forget that I’m an addict and alcoholic. My disease is cunning, baffling and powerful, if I don’t manage my thoughts and emotions on a daily basis.
ALLIÉ: I can only imagine that as an interventionist, you have so many stories that you’ll never forget. There are so many people you’ve saved from themselves. Of these stories, what is one of the best?
MIKE: I worked with a client for over four years who I did multiple interventions on. I never quit on him and he finally got clean and sober. He’s now 4 years sober and living and incredible life. I never quit on people. I keep helping them and hope one day they see the light like I did. 59 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“…anyone that tells you they have it all worked out is a liar.” ALLIÉ: When it comes to addiction, inner voices can be harmful or helpful. When harmful and begging for a fix (another drink, another hit, another whatever…), what helpful response can we give ourselves? Is there a specific question we should ask ourselves or reminder we should give ourselves?
MIKE: We all have inner demons and anyone that tells you they have it all worked out is a liar. Our society has become so caught up in posting things that aren’t real, which makes people think they aren’t good enough. I keep it very simple. Whatever we are thinking or feeling, it’s ok. They are just thoughts and feelings. We can’t take them or ourselves personally. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or emotional, I just slow down and breathe, to regain my composure and I always check in with people I trust, who allow me to be myself, when I feel like life is crushing me. I tell everyone I work with, “You are always enough.” Don’t compare yourself with anyone else. Be you and do you. ∎
MIKE DIAMOND
TV Personality, Director, Interventionist & Awareness Ties Official Ambassador www.awarenessties.us/mikediamond MIKE DIAMOND is a Television Personality, Director, Life Coach, and Interventionist. Known for his work on the hit TV shows NY Ink and Bondi Ink Tattoo Crew, which is currently nominated for a Logie Award for Best Reality Series. Learn more at www.themikediamond.com.
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Inclusion means that I can show up at work as my authentic, genuine self and work in a culture of equity. NATASHA BOWMAN, JD, SPHR
FOUNDER & CEO OF PERFORMANCE RENEW 62 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH NATASHA BOWMAN
THE INCLUSION PRESCRIPTION
A RECOMMENDED TREATMENT FOR THE WORKPLACE It’s one of those words that’s often preached but seldom practiced. Inclusion is a term for which Natasha Bowman not only talks the talk but teaches others how to walk the walk. Natasha is a modern day pioneer of workplace equality, inspiring organizations to not just pay lip service to workplace rights but craft highly-engaged cultures where every employee is truly dignified and valued for their contribution. Because of her ability to diagnose workplace issues and provide proven solutions to organizations, she is often referred to as ‘The Workplace Doctor’. ALLIÉ: We’ve heard many people use the word, but few can properly define it when it comes to its application in the workplace. Natasha, in words of your own, how would you define ‘inclusion’?
NATASHA: Inclusion means that I can show up at work as my authentic, genuine self and work in a culture of equity. It means that no part of my identity, rather visible or not, will be a barrier or challenge for me. I have equal access to promotion, development, and feel valued and respected. I don’t come to work just to survive, but I can thrive regardless of any piece of my identity.
ALLIÉ: When attempting to be inclusive in the workplace, some people get it really right, while others get it really wrong. With over 20 years of experience in transforming the American workplace from the inside out, what are the best and worst attempts you’ve seen?
NATASHA: The best attempts I’ve seen in getting culture right include these elements: Leaders at the top are fully committed. They don’t rely on HR or their DEI to implement strategies and oversee this work. They are fully immersive, take ownership, and hold themselves and others equally accountable for the behaviors.
The worst attempts are when leaders are not involved in shaping positive cultures, or worse, when their efforts are purely performative. For example, there was a healthcare organization that hired a head of DEI. As he was relocating, he was working with a real estate company that was by his future employer. During his time with the real estate agent, the agent made some biased remarks about race. When he brought this to his new employer’s attention, they rescinded his offer stating that he was “too sensitive” about race issues.
ALLIÉ: While it’s just one word, inclusion is a term and a practice that carries so much weight. For a company that wants to effectively be inclusive but has no idea where to begin, as The Workplace Doctor, where do you suggest they start?
NATASHA: Companies should always start by conducting an organizational culture assessment. This assessment can help an organization to identify their blindspots in their culture - what is or who are disrupting their culture. Once they identify their blindspots, then they can put together a strategic plan to address those disruptors. This may come with training, coaching for leaders, implementing new strategies, or removing old systems and processes that have created inequities for some groups. 63 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“…I am continuing their legacy with the hope that my kids and your kids can live in a more equitable, civil, and kinder world.” ALLIÉ: Based on what you’ve seen in your career, what is your prognosis for inclusion in the workplace? How far have we come? How far do we have to go?
NATASHA: We’ve come a long way, but have a long way to go. Oftentimes, organizations wait for a significant event to occur before addressing systemic issues in their workplace as it relates to inclusion.
We saw this happen after the murder of George Floyd. It was only then when organizations began to acknowledge, then somewhat address underlying racism at work. Before then, it was the Me Too movement that prompted addressing sexual harassment. As an expert in this field, I know that there are many underlying issues with organizational cultures that still need to be addressed such as the mental health crisis, ageism, and ongoing exclusion of the LGTBQIA+ community, to name a few.
ALLIÉ: From the books you write to posts you share, it’s evident you are passionate about your work. Passion usually starts with a story. Is there a personal story behind why you are so passionate about equality in the workplace?
NATASHA: I was born and raised in Montgomery, Alabama and my family was very involved in the civil rights movement. They shared their stories of being brutalized by police, spat on, and other forms of violence that they endured just to make sure that I had a chance at the American dream as a black woman. They never would have guessed that I would be facing some of the same issues that they faced. So, I am continuing their legacy with the hope that my kids and your kids can live in a more equitable, civil, and kinder world. I don’t have many talents, but the ones that I do have, such as speaking and writing, I use to cultivate change, especially in our workplaces. ∎
Learn more about Natasha and her work: www.performance-renew.com
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DIANE O’NEILL & BRIZIDA MAGRO
SATURDAY AT THE FOOD PANTRY
A STORY ABOUT GIVING HELP WHILE GETTING HELP In a day and age where so many feel so helpless, it’s books like ‘Saturday At The Food Pantry’ that are needed to help kids (and adults) feel comfortable with seeking and accepting help. Written by Diane O’Neill and illustrated by Brizida Magro, this is a story of compassion and acceptance not only for ourselves but for our circumstances and those of others. ALLIÉ: Diane, your book entitled ‘Saturday At The Food Pantry’ is introduced as follows: “Molly and her mom don't always have enough food, so one Saturday they visit their local food pantry. Molly's happy to get food to eat until she sees her classmate Caitlin, who's embarrassed to be at the food pantry. Can Molly help Caitlin realize that everyone needs help sometimes?” You remember going to a food pantry as a child. In this story, were you Molly or Caitlin?
DIANE: When I was a child, I was probably more like Molly, as I was very naive and innocent, and didn't realize that any stigma existed. I was a bookworm and I'd read lots of books that featured people who were poor, and they were portrayed as good people with nothing to be ashamed of. Like Molly, I ran to the dessert shelves, and my mother said, "No! They'll want us to take sensible stuff." That puzzled me, and I thought my mother was wrong, that they wouldn't have minded. I thought that prejudice against poor people was something from a very distant past.
SATURDAY AT THE FOOD PANTRY WRITTEN BY DIANE O’NEILL & ILLUSTRATED BY BRIZIDA MARGO
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…accepting help graciously can be a gift to the giver. DIANE O’NEILL
AUTHOR OF ‘SATURDAY AT THE FOOD PANTRY’ 68 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“I felt different from my classmates, and going to the grocery store became painful.” DIANE: (continued) In high school, sophomore year, I was on the free lunch program for a while. Once, when I was standing in the cafeteria line, a classmate saw my little yellow card and whispered, "Me, too. But don't worry--I won't tell anybody." I hadn't realized that it was something to hide.
I didn't fully realize the stigma until I was a high school junior, when, during a history class discussion, classmates told of how their mothers inspected carts of people on food stamps and criticized the contents: "They're buying sweet rolls! Terrible!" That hurt, a lot, and opened my eyes. I felt different from my classmates, and going to the grocery store became painful. I suppose I became more like Caitlin at that point.
ALLIÉ: Brizida, you have an incredible talent for bringing stories to life. With ‘Saturday At The Food Pantry’, your illustrations breathe life into the characters of this story with a variety of inclusive skin tones, ages and abilities. The range of emotions from pride to shame and everything in between are clearly defined in your use of lines. How important was it to vividly illustrate not only the diversity of people but feelings as well?
BRIZIDA: I wanted the kids that read this book to feel represented in it. Needing help can happen to anybody from all walks of life. It was important to show that. Take for example, recently here in Colorado there was a very bad fire and many people lost their homes and now find themselves needing help. I think the beauty in all of it is to see everyone in the Community starting gofund me accounts, leaving clothes, toys etc at various locations for donations.
It was important to clearly show Molly’s range of emotions that she goes through. This is something I could really relate to since I feel my emotions strongly. Mostly I remember what it was like when I was a kid and if I did not get something at the store I had my eyes on…
ALLIÉ: This book really resonated with me because I can relate not only to Molly and her feelings but to her mother and her emotions as well. Finding yourself in a place of need as a child is difficult, it doesn’t always get easier when you’re an adult. Can both of you share a personal story of your own where you didn’t want to ask for help but had to?
DIANE: I never like asking for help! I suppose my adult self is more like Caitlin. But, as Molly says, everybody needs help sometimes. A few years ago I had knee replacement surgery, and I had to ask family and friends for help, and they were a wonderful support system. Family members took turns staying overnight at the hospital with me, and my son was a great personal trainer when I was back home. Still, I hate having to ask for help! At the same time, I like to help others myself--that's always such a good feeling, knowing you've been of use--so accepting help graciously can be a gift to the giver, I think. In my book, the man at the pantry desk felt happy to be helping Molly and her mom. We are all interdependent. I'm still trying to learn that lesson.
BRIZIDA: I felt this book was calling me. I fell in love with the manuscript the minute I read it. Growing up, being raised by my Grandmother I saw her struggles to keep food on the table yet the universe seemed to be looking out for us. We did not have much but she took pride in what we had and our clothes and home were kept clean and tidy. My Grandmother could not read or write but somehow she knew the importance of books. She would buy us enciclopedias, classic stories, etc. Everything I do is to honor her. 69 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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We did not have much but she took pride in what we had… BRIZIDA MAGRO
ILLUSTRATOR OF ‘SATURDAY AT THE FOOD PANTRY’ 70 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“…this is our common humanity.” ALLIÉ: I love how this book so beautifully illustrated both with words and images how you can help others even when you yourself need help. I love how it showed that you don’t have to figure that out on your own. I loved how empathy was expressed as opposed to sympathy. I love to hear what you both loved most about your book.
DIANE: First of all, I love Brizida's illustrations! I don't actually "see" my characters when I write about them, but when I looked at the pictures, I immediately recognized Molly and her mom and Caitlin and the man at the desk! Brizida captured their personalities perfectly. My favorite illustration is the one of Molly, right after Mom has said "No!" to her taking the sugar cookies. The picture takes up a whole page, showing Molly being hit with the whole idea of stigma and trying to figure things out. I appreciate Brizida's work so much!
Secondly, I'm glad that I was able to write "Saturday" from the point of view of someone needing and getting help, as so many books are about the helper and how it's good to help. Of course it's good to help, but emphasizing the helper risks portraying kids like Molly and Caitlin and my childhood self as being "other." I wanted to show that Molly and Caitlin are ordinary kids--their families just need a little help, and that's OK. When Molly realizes that her mom and Caitlin shouldn't be wanting to disappear, that they weren't doing anything whatsoever wrong, that's an epiphany moment for her. That realization challenges the whole idea of the stigma: You're not doing anything wrong when you accept help, so you shouldn't feel bad about it at all, and no one should treat you differently. As the man at the pantry desk says, “Enjoy!"
BRIZIDA: This is a hard one to answer… I loved the silver lining in the book, even though there were hard times, there was also art to cheer us up, treats, new friendships and that we all need help sometimes, this is our common humanity. ∎
SATURDAY AT THE FOOD PANTRY
Purchase the book online:
https://awarenow.us/book/saturday-at-the-food-pantry
Find Diane on Instagram:
71 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Only the ones who see it are able to find it… CHARLOTTE ALEXANDRA
FOUNDER & CEO OF CULTUROSITY 72 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘FEARLESS’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY CHARLOTTE ALEXANDRA
CHIEF MANIFESTATION OFFICER
THE JOURNEY FROM CEO TO CMO Magic is everywhere but only the ones who see it are able find it... Sometimes it’s buried for years under grains of sand, locked away in a cave of wonders, waiting to be awakened by someone who has the courage and a pure heart to look deep within and realise that they are already the magician and life is not about having powers over others but gaining power over yourself so you can show that a diamond in the rough has the ability to transform and shine a light so bright that it can inspire other to step out of the dark.
For the past year many people have been confined to a cave of darkness, confronted by their shadows (ego, fear, trauma), and forced to look within. In doing so, they have become lifted from their slumber and awakened to their inner magician – their inner Shaman. Ever since I can remember, I have had ‘chance’ encounters (otherwise known as signs from the universe) with shamans, gurus, psychics... some members of my own family, including my grandmother being a well known spiritual healer. I recall her telling me stories of ghosts, aliens and the magical powers people possess. However, instead of being enlightened by her story, I chose to bury my head in the sand, afraid of the unknown and the truth about the world we live in – especially the truth about myself.
The truth is, we all have magic within us, providing us with the power to transform our lives and to become the person we are destined to be. I have always seen myself as a relatively conscious person and had previously begun to transform my life by getting personal training, eating healthy, reading books about entrepreneurship and saying ‘no’ to alcohol. But it was only in 2021, after taking classes on meditation and healing from past wounds, that I truly became aware of who I am at my core and that I had a deep calling to discover the truth about manifestation and how we can apply these ancient practices in a modern day life.
I realised I could combine my passion for travelling into the unknown with my new found mission of discovering the truth about magic, manifestation and most significantly the truth about our reality. Shortly after this epiphany, more signs and synchronicity started to show up in my life in the form of chance encounters with spiritual and like minded ‘11:11’ people (from shamans, to artists, to business leaders) who had transformed their lives by mastering the power of manifestation and were passionate about sharing their stories and inspiring others to become the CMO (Chief Manifestation Officer) of their own life.
Therefore I am proud to announce that Eleven11 Media & Culturosity are embarking on a journey around the world to interview some of the world’s most renowned leaders, healers and master manifestors, creating a global movement where we can inspire people around the world to embrace their inner power and see the true magic that connects us all. Culturosity proudly presents ‘Charlotte and the Shamans’. Stay tuned… ∎
CHARLOTTE ALEXANDRA
Founder & CEO of Culturosity www.awarenessties.us/charlotte-alexandra CHARLOTTE ALEXANDRA, founder & CEO of Culturosity is a business mentor, empowerment coach & serial entrepreneur with a passion for Media. She is on a mission to help You unlock your fullest potential! Helping people around the globe expand, grow, connect and to build a business they are proud of, a life they love and a mindset that will take them places. After kickstarting her career in Marketing + Advertising following a journalism & communications degree, she decided to launch Eleven11 Media Networks. Creating a platform for likeminded creatives to collaborate on spreading a positive message through media. Her work as both an entrepreneur and a media coach has provided her with an international network of inspirational and influential associates ranging from entrepreneurs, business leaders, public speakers & celebrities - uniting and combining their talents to make to world a better place.
73 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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My depression and shame used my body like a canvas. PROVIDENCE BOWMAN
AWARENESS TIES COLUMNIST 74 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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PERSONAL STORY BY PROVIDENCE BOWMAN
AN ANNIVERSARY
COMING CLEAN WITH MYSELF & MY JOURNEY TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM, ABUSE
I have typed out my journey so many times before. Exploring every turn, emotion and pitfall. Trying to find a beginning, but only finding a conclusion in the end. But I have never been brutally honest about the pain and temptation that escorts you on the journey to getting clean. It is an addiction, it is a release. Depression is convergently ugly, wearing a beautiful disguise. That's how it catches you off guard. One size does not fit all. Mental illness feels dirty. It drapes your body in stagnant sadness, while encouraging your feet to keep going one more day. I remember a time where I cut myself everyday for three years.
There is nothing cleaner than brutal honesty, nothing more connected than mental and physical pain, nothing more intertwined than thoughts and actions. Self harm stares at you in a stale and painful silence. Looking at your feelings dead in the eyes. Connecting your mental pain to a cold and metallic physical pain. Intertwining the bandages around your skin — a symbolic white flag to a battle that you are still fighting.
There is something so delicate and intimate about having a story written on your body. One that often writes itself in the eyes of others before you are able to open your mouth. The marks on my body feel like the preface of a book, a book that doesn't feel right in your hands. I remember a time when I didn't know how to use my words or how to express the stabbing pain in my heart; I remember my body always paying that price. My depression and shame used my body like a canvas. Spanning and stretching its canvas for three years.
I didn't know how to talk about the shame hidden in my heart, or the depression stored in the front of my brain. I knew it needed to be released; like clockwork. My shame stemmed from experiencing sexual abuse as a young woman. I never knew how to formulate words, much less sentences. It was easier to hurt my body, where someone else had hurt me. I never knew that someone else had so much power to do so much wrong with their hands, but I had an equal amount of power to turn pain into more pain with my own. When I was growing up I distinctly remember my mother saying, “A person's hands say a lot about their mental health”. I think about that every day. Just as our tongues impact what comes out of our mouths, and our thoughts affect the actions we take, our hands are a part of that journey.
Three years later, here I am. I don't think I am ready to tell my story cover to cover, maybe that will come after a few more anniversaries; but I am ready to let others join me on my journey. I am ready to talk, feel, and help others. If you walk outside in the winter to a blanket of fresh white snow, and a dark sky that spans for miles, you feel something. You feel the darkness above you, you feel the light beneath you; working together until the sun rises again. ∎
PROVIDENCE BOWMAN
Awareness Ties Columnist www.awarenessties.us/providence-bowman Who am I? Well that's a good question. I am 22, without a clue. I am in a phase of life where I am planting seeds, seeing what roots fit right. I am currently working in Regulatory Affairs for Acrisure. I am currently settled in Grand Rapids MI, trying on as many pairs of shoes as I can, seeing what fits best. I have found a great deal of joy in conversation, mindfulness and meditation. I am learning and healing everyday, that is who I will continue to be; that shoe fits the best.
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The solution to understanding infectious disease outbreaks is making outbreak science part of the curriculum… TODD BROWN
FOUNDER OF THE INSPIRE PROJECT & CO-FOUNDER OF OPERATION OUTBREAK 76 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘THE INSPIRE PROJECT’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY TODD BROWN
OPERATION OUTBREAK
A NEW MODEL FOR LIVE ACTION LEARNING Rick DuFour once wrote that "if schools are to be transformed into learning communities, educators must embrace ideas and assumptions that are radically different than those that have guided schools in the past." He wrote this in 1998. Yes, 1998, as in almost a quarter-century ago, and yet in 2021, schools continue to indulge in textbook-driven regurgitation. If we are ever truly going to move the needle, the education sector must turn inward and examine itself with intellectual honesty. Schools are struggling to adapt to the current COVID-19 pandemic compounding the educational system's problems while debating, at nauseum, scientific, sociological, and even economic solutions. Categorically each of these offers unique insights, but the overarching solution is very much multidisciplinary and, to be honest, is staring us in the face. Such things as 'belief' in science and individual behaviors are bolstered by grasping basic mathematical, scientific, and social principles. These principles shape awareness and behavioral responses to our current situation. The solution to understanding infectious disease outbreaks is making outbreak science part of the curriculum in compulsory education. How else can we expect anyone to understand something they have never learned?
Some argue our education system has progressed over the last few decades, and for the record, I agree. To be fair, we find ourselves amid an unprecedented pandemic altering how we judge the education system. COVID-19 is unprecedented. That is true, but calling it unprecedented for the education system, is not. Since 1918 the U.S. has seen epidemics such as the Spanish Flu, Polio, and others. Each outbreak was followed by examining how schools and society can best deal with the inevitability of epidemics. Despite the past, today, many in education are again debating the 'how' we deliver material to students without disruption. This is the wrong question. We should be asking 'what' is delivered. COVID-19 is entering its 4th calendar year and feels as if we are living in the Paulo Coelho quote, "you drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it." A catastrophe like we experienced during the Spanish Flu is supposed to force reinvention. Yet, over the last 100 years, with millions of deaths, hundreds of millions of hospitalizations, and trillions of dollars spent, we continue to ignore the 'what.' When will we make outbreak science compulsory in our schools? Right now, there is an opportunity to galvanize generations of students to become agents of change through action. Well, as it turns out, I am part of a team of scientists and teachers who have a solution created six years ago that began with a single question.
In late 2014, a 7th-grade student asked, "What happens if Ebola comes to the United States?" At the time, West Africa was in the grips of the worst Ebola outbreak in history, and U.S. media outlets began to report more frequently on the potential of spread to our country. Quickly pivoting the lesson I was teaching, I integrated infectious disease into my Civics class, tying together levels of government, civic responsibility, and infectious disease outbreaks. The following two weeks were electric as students attempted to understand outbreaks. The unit entitled 'Outbreak' became one of the most exciting impromptu units of my teaching career.
During the unit, my wife purchased a Time Magazine that I read as a bedtime story to our youngest child. I know, weird, right? It was there that we learned about Dr. Pardis Sabeti, a computational biologist at Harvard. I emailed Dr. Sabeti, resulting in a Skype session with my students in the spring of 2015. In the fall of the same year, I repeated the 'Outbreak' unit but felt it needed to be elevated. Because our brains are hardwired to learn through the physicality of hands-on interaction, it was imperative to bring the unit into the natural world. I decided to build an experiential learning activity simulating an infectious disease outbreak on campus. Working with other teachers, we created a fullyimmersive experience. In March of 2016, we used a sticker-based system spreading 'Ebola' with 200 seventh grade students taking on the roles of the government, military, doctors, epidemiologists, body team, media, while the general population 'lived' a campus outbreak. The goal? Stop the outbreak as a class as quickly as possible without any help from teachers. 77 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“Because our brains are hardwired to learn through the physicality of hands-on interaction, it was imperative to bring the unit into the natural world.” Over the next fifteen months, Dr. Pardis Sabeti and Dr. Andres Colubri, who was working on building contact tracing technology for mobile devices, graciously decided to join the effort. Dr. Colubri created a novel platform that became the first Operation Outbreak (OO) app virtually spreading a pathogen using Bluetooth technology. We could now simulate an invisible airborne pathogen via phones, changing the simulation forever. Now, OO has become the world's first and most-advanced app-based experiential program for infectious disease education. The program consists of a multidisciplinary curriculum including a textbook, video series, and the app to form a fully immersive, multi-faceted experiential learning opportunity for students and teachers alike.
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OO is spreading throughout the U.S., elevating experiential learning by adding an entirely new level of immersion combining the virtual and real world. The experience is scalable, ranging from a single classroom to thousands of students, creating an exciting opportunity for student-driven learning about outbreak detection, response, and containment through an experiential lens. OO helps inform administrators and the community by delivering individual and institution-aggregate scorecards on physical distancing performance and through the use of QR-code-based diagnostic tests informing participants on best-practice strategies. Also, the simulation dashboard helps participants understand quarantining performance, informing the school or workplace mitigation strategies. These analytics show the impact of the spread of virtual pathogens and how to apply it in future practices and real-world scenarios.
Our education system has again been placed upon a stage with all of its faults and successes. As the pandemic rages onward, we can move the antiquated education system forward by integrating outbreak science into all levels of compulsory education. In doing so, we can connect students more closely with the 'real world,' empower them to become agents of change now, while maybe, just maybe, bringing the f-word back into schools. Meaning, 'fun' which is what you were thinking of course. ∎
Learn more about Operation Outbreak: www.operationoutbreak.org
TODD BROWN
Awareness Ties Columnist www.awarenessties.us/todd-brown Dr. Todd Brown is a winner of multiple education awards, including the U.S. Congressional Teacher of the Year Award, U.S. Henry Ford Innovator Award, Education Foundation Innovator of the Year, and Air Force Association STEM Teacher of the Year. Dr. Brown is the creator and founder of the Inspire Project and cocreator of Operation Outbreak, which was named the Reimagine Education Award for Best Hybrid Program in the world. He is also an Education Ambassador for the United Nations and an Educational Ambassador of the Center for Disease Control (CDC).
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I am tired of hating someone that I can't escape. LORI BUTIERRIES
AUTHOR, NAVY VETERAN & MOTHER OF 2 WITH SPECIAL NEEDS 80 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘SCARRED NOT BROKEN’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY LORI BUTIERRIES
MIRROR
A REFLECTION ON MY REFLECTION I look in the mirror and see the person I hate the most staring back at me.
She is the reason behind the majority of my pain.
Her poor decision-making skills and sh!tty coping mechanisms are what have brought us to this lowly place.
Honestly, I’d like to punch her in the face.
Instead, I rein in my violent tendencies and turn away from the image that I can’t stand.
Pretending that it’s not my reflection inciting so much rage, but a different person altogether - my nemesis or evil twin.
Despising my internal enemy is easy to do when I can mentally hide from the truth, so I dissociate and allow myself to punish the part of me that isn't reality that I can silently retaliate against and abuse.
It is hard being two different people in one body. If I could, I'd amputate her like a gangrenous appendage of the soul or excise that part of my conscious mind like a cancerous and unwanted tumor growing out of control.
Since I can't, I hope that one day, with enough self-reflection and therapy, that I will be able to walk by a mirror and stop avoiding my own gaze.
I don’t know if I will ever be able to ‘like’ that other part of me, but I am tired of hating someone that I can't escape.
That's a least one truth that I can face, which, believe it or not, is progress from when I used self-harm or try to binge & purge the pain away.
Anyway, that is a goal that she & I can both embrace. ∎
LORI BUTIERRIES
Author, Navy Veteran & Mother of 2 with Special Needs www.awarenessties.us/lori-butierries LORI BUTIERRIES is a full-time caregiver to two children with special needs, one child being terminally ill and physically disabled. Lori uses her life experiences and the medical knowledge she gained while serving as a Hospital Corpsman in the United States Navy to help others facing similar hardships. Lori focuses primarily on advocating for and educating others about the special needs, mental health, and veterans communities. Her long-term goal is to reduce the stigma associated with disability by talking about it with people of all ages, thus minimizing the fear and the mystery attributed to the unknown in this regard.
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Rather than resolution, I believe in evolution. AJAY DAHIYA
CHIEF VISION OFFICER OF THE POLLINATION PROJECT 82 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘POLLINATING WITH PURPOSE’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY AJAY DAHIYA
NEW YEAR’S EVOLUTION
RESOLUTION IN THE FORM OF REPETITION I must admit, I am not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I appreciate setting positive intentions, continual improvement, and self-reflective efforts to be a better human. However, I find the idea of rigid timelines and lofty goals counterproductive and in some cases self-defeating. Too often, they are an outgrowth of a misplaced focus on outcome over process, intensity over consistency, and towering achievement over slow and steady daily practice.
We celebrate astounding weight loss, forgetting that it is the product of thousands of small healthy decisions made repeatedly over time. We celebrate awe-inspiring athletic milestones, but not the daily training regimen that makes them possible.
We marvel at scientific breakthroughs, but ignore the fact that these advances require determination through many failed attempts before ultimate success. I believe it was Aristotle who said “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
The key here is the reference to repetition; even though we may see the new year as a demarcation of change, or sign up for a 21-day challenge, or pledge to walk 1,000 miles in 1,000 days, the truth is that building a daily practice – building a habit – is not a time-limited proposition. The answer to the question “How long does it take to build a daily practice?” is simple. It takes a lifetime.
Rather than resolution, I believe in evolution.
That’s why our work at The Pollination Project matters to me. It’s a collection of seemingly small grassroots actions that are helping evolve not just the individuals behind them, but our entire planet, into a daily practice of compassion and kindness. It is a community of people who care about outcomes and achievement, sure; but who are also in love with the process of becoming.
There is nothing special about January 1st except that, like every other day, it is a precious gift shimmering with potential; a new opportunity to build a practice of loving kindness, one small yet beautiful step at a time. ∎
AJAY DAHIYA
Chief Vision Officer of The Pollination Project
thepollinationproject.org AJAY DAHIYA was born in the outskirts of London to a working-class immigrant family. Growing up in a diverse and disparate environment his childhood was immersed in a variety of cultures. From early on in his life, Ajay felt a great spiritual calling. While in pursuit of this deep calling Ajay became ordained as a monastic in his late teens. As a monk for close to a decade, Ajay had the honor of serving diverse communities across the globe. After transitioning out of monastic life would go on to hold executive leadership positions in a variety of missiondriven organizations.
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I can actually say what I want to say… JIM EVANS (AKA TAZ)
ARTIST, DESIGNER & ROCK POSTER GOD 84 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
Artwork by: Jim Evans Photo Credit: Cody Smith www.IamAwareNow.com
‘THE WRITING ON THE WALL’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY EDDIE DONALDSON
ACCORDING TO TAZ
POSTERS, NFTS, TOYS, SURFING & CAUSES WITH JIM EVANS Artist and designer Jim Evans, aka TAZ, learned his trade in the San Francisco underground rock scene. He has illustrated comics, album covers, rock and film posters, as well as advertising and magazine illustrations. Evans is the founder of the TAZ Collaboration, which is responsible for hundreds of gig posters, album covers, and rock ephemera. TAZ has turned out numerous posters for bands like the Foo Fighters, U2, Oasis, Porno For Pyros, Green Day, Pearl Jam, The Beastie Boys, L7, Ramones, Rage Against The Machine, Wu Tang Clan, Metallica, and Nine Inch Nails. It’s time to get raw and real about life according to TAZ. EDDIE: Jim Evans, the Rock Poster God. What’s new and what’s next?
JIM: The rock poster is really just one piece of paper with a bunch of band names on it. It's a picture, right? And it sits there. What if the rock poster gets put out as a NFT (non-fungible token)? It gets sold on blockchain. You can tell a bigger story about the poster, and about what goes into the poster. People start talking about it. It engages a more global consciousness around the object itself. The downside, of course, is the amount of energy that's eaten up by the NFTs. And I hope they solve that because a lot of people, like for instance your friend Shepherd, won't have anything to do with it because of that alone. I mean, ecologically it's a disaster area. So, I can't say anything good about that part of it, but creatively I'd say it's a wide open field.
‘WRITING ON THE WALL’ WITH JIM EVANS EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW BY EDDIE DONALDSON (AKA GUERILLAONE)
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“I made a poster… It challenged the Chinese government, and it brought human rights to the forefront.” EDDIE: In the NFT space, we're doing the fluff world thing. You've got the rabbit. You've got the Jane's Addiction (you and Dave Navarro's collaboration sitting on hold and waiting for a home). Then the Rolling Stones logo was obviously a good collaboration.
JIM: Yeah. One of the top 10 sales.
EDDIE: 1.2 billion is not a bad take at the end of the day.
JIM: It's a company called Cosmic Wire. They're doing that. NFTs changed things a lot. Something that would've been a digital file two years ago can now be a valuable object that makes a hundred thousand dollars.
EDDIE: What I'd like to do, and I'm going on record with this… I think now as part of an offering for poster designs, we should or you should figure out a way where not only do we do the static image, but we have an avenue or a channel where we can take these rock guys' posters live in the metaworld as an extension. The revenue is obviously amazing, but it's just such a larger audience than just the fans of the band itself. It's the fans of the NFT.
JIM: Well, people are going to certainly want to hang them on the walls of their virtual rooms. I'm sure that people will have virtual spaces where they actually have a NFT player on the wall where they can showcase their favorite pieces.
EDDIE: We used to call those slideshows, right?
JIM: Back in the old days, yeah.
EDDIE: I wanted to talk a little bit today about causes. You've been pretty active in the cause related space - in the activism space. Can you give us some history on some of the things that you've done?
JIM: In the 80's, I did a lot for SANE/FREEZE. That's when it came to nuclear power. Ronald Reagan was gonna launch a bunch of satellites with missiles on them. The fear of nuclear power, nuclear bombs, nuclear war, and the cold war probably obsessed me most of my life. I was one of the generations that lived in fear of his freaking madness. It just seemed to be pervasive all the time. It raised to a huge level in the early 80's, and I started working for SANE/FREEZE. I tried to bring sanity to that particular dialogue. That was probably the first big cause I did.
I've done a lot of things for different causes over the years and just contributed things here and there. But I would say in the 90's, I got more into it with Rock For Choice, Rock The Vote, and El Rescate, the immigration group. I did a lot with MusiCares as well. I did a big billboard for that and raised a lot of money for them. I had events with the Beach Boys, Kris Kristofferson and Paul McCartney - all kinds of people were involved in that. It was mostly Hollywood type things. I raised a lot of money for Frank Sinatra at his birthday party for Society of Singers. I've done a lot...
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JIM: (continued) I think that my work can be convincing, almost in a propaganda level way. I would say unlike Shepherd, I tend to hide my messages a little bit more in the the execution of the piece. I mean, for the Tibetan Freedom Concert, I made a poster and it did what it did. It challenged the Chinese government, and it brought human rights to the forefront. It was a big event that raised a lot of money. I was like proud to do that. I really liked working with the monks and hearing what they had to say. I didn't have to be convinced to do it because obviously I was on board with that to begin with.
EDDIE: Would you say that comes from an inherent spirituality? Why don't you tell us a little bit about your days with Yogi Bhajan?
JIM: Well, when I first came to Los Angeles it was sort of a hippie maelstrom. Every kind of religion, creed and culture was wrapping together. I studied a lot of things. I studied literally everything, but I was probably most attracted to Buddhism. So, Yogi Bhajan obviously wasn't a Buddhist. I studied Kundalini Yoga with him. I went to a place called the East West Cultural Center, and I met him there. I walked from my apartment to school every day, and I kept walking past the East West Cultural Center. I told my wife that we should go there and see what's happening. We went there, and then a few weeks later, Yogi Bhajan was beginning a sojourn in the United States. He showed up there, and he started teaching classes. Then there was an event called the Fujiyama Odyssey where all the guys from Woodstock were gonna have a gigantic rock festival at the foot of Mount Fuji. And Yogi Bhajan was brought there to be the spiritual guidance of that particular crowd of like drug crazed hedonists. That was a job - even for a guy like him. He was a serious individual, and he really cracked the whip. He convinced them to make me the Creative Director, which was a huge job because I was still going to art school. I was also in the the Navy Reserve. I had a job at a magazine in Westwood shooting photographs. I was like the house hippie. I could get into everything, whether it was a riot or like when Ronald Reagan was trying to slam dunk Eldridge Cleaver at UCLA or something like that. They would send me up there with a camera, and I could like run in. I was 'the guy'. I'd just go in there and get the shots I needed. Anyway, they gave me a press pass a lot of times for different events, but usually it would just be some guy at the door with an afro or something who would fist bump me as I went by. So that worked out well. And Yogi Bhajan was, I thought, a pretty righteous character, getting me that job. He just said, "Use Jimmy. He's a good artist. He can do exactly what you want... Take him." And I started working. So, it worked out well. The good part for me is the fact that it all just exploded, and I went on to the next thing. If I had to see it all the way through to the end, I don't know how well I would've done because it was a big, big project with a lot of money involved in it. I designed logos for it and posters and things like that. They're probably collectors items now for an event that never happened.
I can take spirituality and do it so convincingly that people see it as a cool rock thing, but at the same time, they feel the vibration from it. I would say the spirituality, in terms of finding an inner space, getting in touch with people, and understanding the way people think through spirituality has been key to my discipline from the very beginning. I wouldn't say that I dabbled with spirituality and then went away from it. I would say if I want to get involved in an issue or a cause, it's sort of my Buddhist nature to engage with the things that I think will be most helpful. I like making sure that everything works for everyone, that kind of thing. That's why the Tibetan Freedom Concert, obviously with the Tibetan Buddhists was something that really worked well for me. It was the first time I really got a chance to translate what I would consider 'spiritual art' into something that could be used as a rock poster. I mean, subsequently even with yours, you've seen, I've used it a lot now. I sort of like that idea... where I can take spirituality and do it so convincingly that people see it as a cool rock thing, but at the same time, they feel the vibration from it. In that sense, it goes back to when I did issue oriented work, I tended to hide them — like the poster I did for L7 and Pearl Jam. I made it into a rock poster primarily, 89 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Artwork by: Jim Evans 90 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“I would say that the world has become more like me than me becoming more like the world.” JIM: (continued) but the messages were from top to bottom. We're not gonna go back, feminist majority, rock for choice... All the messages were there, but at the same time, it just said Pearl Jam and L7 and had that cool little cat girl with the guitar. Those are the things that I think are my power, where I don't really have to drop the hammer on a gigantic propaganda poster. I can actually say what I want and hide it in the way that I do my work.
EDDIE: That's interesting... I really love that Palm Springs poster that deity pops. For me spiritually, because of my practice, my Kundalini practice, it really speaks to me. But I see what you mean when you say it crosses over. It's not shoving it down your throat. It's spicing it up, so it fits for the normal eye.
JIM: You don't want to show people away.
EDDIE: That's right, and it doesn't. It kind of draws you in. Let's talk about Risky for a minute. How's it been working with Risky over the last five years and collaborating?
JIM: I've collaborated with a lot of people. I would say that Risky, or Kelly, is probably one of my favorite collaborators. He's one of the hardest working artists that I've seen. His ability to work with someone considering the stature and the power that he brings to something threw me off at first because I thought it was going to be really difficult. Why is he going to accept this? Because he already does all that. But he's like a musician. Having started in music, I like to jam with people, and I found that in working with him, we would just start talking and it would be like a jam session. We would just go back and forth, and we would sync up and decide to do something. We'd sketch something out. I'd go home, finish it up and bring it back. Then we'd blow it up. Risky is not only a great artist, but a great collaborator.
EDDIE: So I'm sitting here, and I'm looking at these toys that you have. What is it with the toys Jim? You're an older gentleman, and you have a very large toy collection in here. Why don't you tell us why.
JIM: Well, toys... Obviously, I've always liked toys, but I guess it reminds me of my childhood, but at the same time that wasn't just enough. I've always collected toys to some degree, but it is the color, the imagination, the ridiculous characters, those kinds of things that set me off. A lot of times I'll just look at the shelf and I'll come up with an idea because it's just some dorky character. When I was a little kid, most of the characters had a reason to exist. But with the vinyl revolution, I‘d say that they created characters that literally had no reason... I loved watching the evolution of toys. I would say that the world has become more like me than me becoming more like the world. I collected toys most of my life. I started collecting robot toys and things really heavily when I moved to Hawaii. I'd go to the Japanese shops, and I'd see these Kamen Riders. I take the head off, and there'd be a human underneath it. I'd put it up on a shelf and I'd go, "I really dig that... I really need 10 of 'em." I got all the Kamen Riders. When I came back, I discovered a little toy shop in Little Tokyo. This was like the OG toy shop. I'm looking in the window, and I'm looking at this 10 foot high Ultraman. I'm thinking, "Oh my God. God lives in this shop." I bought tons and tons of toys there. When the house burned down, a lot of toys burned, and we went to a place called Kimono My House in San Francisco where we rebought a lot of the toys. Then then the vinyl toy thing just became like a whole other level. 91 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Artwork by: Jim Evans 92 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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EDDIE: We have a toy coming, yeah? We're going to do the Seventh Letter Bomb Boy.
JIM: Yes. Seventh Letter.
EDDIE: Hopefully that'll come out sometime in 2022. A big shout out to Casey... an inspiration to all of us.
JIM: Casey's another guy I met back when I first met you.
EDDIE: He was my partner in GuerillaOne. He really was the backbone to most of it. You know, I was kind of the idea guy, but he was what made it really real, you know, because of our graffiti network across the country.
JIM: He brought me a graffiti version of TAZ. I had no idea who this kid was. He just walked into my office, hands me this thing and says, "Here's a graffiti version of your name."
EDDIE: Speaking of graffiti, who's your favorite graffiti artist besides Kelly. We know that he’s your friend, but if you had to think of someone taking it outside of our immediate circle who is your favorite?
JIM: It's not even a contest for me. I think that Futura has been the best of the best. He combines painting that uses graffiti techniques, but I would call it legitimate abstract painting. He's created incredible logos. He's a monster calligrapher. Philosophically, he seems right on the mark with the idea that he's done what he's done, the way he's done it. He's collaborated with Murakami. Futura and Murakami meeting together has to be like a meeting of the gods or something like that. Anyway, Futura... I really admire his work. I admire everything he's done.
EDDIE: So let's talk a little bit about the Love Style concept that we came up with. We have three shows coming up this year. We have Love Philadelphia Style, Love Los Angeles Style and Love Malibu Style. You are really the reason we're doing Malibu, because it's your home. This is your castle. Are you looking forward to Love Malibu Style? Getting the community together and supporting each other?
JIM: Yeah, that's something I normally do. I'm not really a community oriented guy, even though I would say I have groups that I hang out with in Malibu. I would say the surf group. The people I surf with barely know me... I mean, they know me as 'the artist', but I’m a surfer.
EDDIE: You're Jimbo, right? Jimbo the surfer.
JIM: Right. All they care about is the board I'm riding and if I got a new wetsuit or something like that. I really enjoy that part of Malibu. I like getting out in the water, the dolphins jumping around and hanging out with your bros and sisters and all the people that surf. You have a whole other dialogue out there. I like that part of Malibu a lot.
EDDIE: Would you consider surfing kind of a form of meditation for you?
JIM: I think it's absolutely a form of meditation. The freedom of the water... I don't like to make that big of a thing out of surfing because I don't want to be 'that guy'. But at the same time, I'd say that surfing has synced with my spiritual beliefs almost completely because you paddle out, you have no idea what's gonna be happening. You ride a wave, and it's never there again. For the moment, it's there. You choose the line you're gonna ride and the way you're gonna ride it. You're dealing with the elements. It's outer space to your inner space. I would say that surfing is the only time that I actually pay attention. When I'm riding my bike, I don't pay attention. I'm thinking about art or junk or whatever. When I'm on the elliptical, I'm reading a book or something like that. But when I surf, I actually pay attention to the surf. The better the surf is, the bigger it is and the crazier it is, the more you think about it. You're just like sitting out there, and when that wave comes across the point, you wanna be in position to get it right. And there's all these other guys... And it's one thing I like about surfing -- the democracy of surfing. Some 12-year-olds can surf as good as I can. 93 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Artwork by: Jim Evans 94 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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“The issue that I personally feel strongly about is equality for women.” JIM: (continued) I mean the best guys are gonna be the best guys in the water, but at the same time, almost anybody can be good. They can be in the right position and just get an insane wave. So, I like that part of it. But I say that the meditative state of surfing... you're floating in the water. You're basically back in the amniotic fluid. I do believe it's very meditative and very good for you.
EDDIE: So who's the favorite person you ever surfed with? Give us an example of an 'oh wow' moment in the water.
JIM: Probably, there'd be a ton of them, but one of the best ones was when I was down in Baja with Nancy. I was out, and I thought I was out in the water alone, or maybe with one or two other people. I was on a wave and I heard this voice behind me that said, "Hey, Jim, get the f*ck outta my way!" I turned around and it was Mike Doyle. Mike Doyle, the giant. I'd known him because I did a lot of stuff for him for his wax research and all that. But he saw me, took off on a wave, and caught up with me. Then we went up to his house and all that. But to be down in Mexico, surfing on a wave and having Mike Doyle yell at you... You turn around and you go, "Whoa, Mike! What's up?!" Right. That's what surfing's about... that kind of ambient thing.
EDDIE: So if you could pick any band in the world that's dead or alive to design an album cover for, who would it be?
JIM: Probably Jimmy Hendrix. When I listen to his guitar solos and things, even now, I'm just struck by how inventive they are. I actually saw him in person a number of times and really up close. I saw him play a couple sets up close, and I was impressed then. Over the years, I haven't gotten tired of what I hear not only from his writing, but his approach to the music. Because of the depth of what he did, designing an album cover for him would be one of the more interesting projects. I love the Beatles. I like the Rolling Stones. I like the Yardbirds, but at the same time, they're a lot more singular than I would say Jimmy Hendricks. So, I would say, he'd be the guy.
EDDIE: He’s a great guy. To close our conversation today, let’s end with a great cause. There are many, but for you, personally, which do you feel strongest about?
JIM: I did this poster almost 30 years ago, and the woman in the electric chair is now being hunted by bounty collecting vigilantes in Texas for making a choice about her own body. The issue that I personally feel strongly about is equality for women. During my lifetime I’ve watched what seems to be forward motion continually eroded by the forces that resist gender equality. Roe vs Wade, the Equal Rights Amendment, on and on, looking at the news, and reading about a continuing battle over something that should not even be an issue, really irks me! ∎
Get to know more about Jim Evans and his legendary work online: www.tazposters.com EDDIE DONALDSON
GuerillaOne x The Seventh Letter www.awarenessties.us/eddie-donaldson Louisville, Kentucky native Eddie Donaldson moved to Los Angeles in 1986 and became involved with the graffiti movement as an alternative to the turbulent gang activity of his generation. Immersed first as an artist amongst diverse L.A. crews like TCF, AWR, and The Seventh Letter, Donaldson had the vision to develop their homegrown graffiti movement into something beyond the streets. His loyalty and business sensibility transformed the graffiti scene and he evolved into the point person for producing art events and exhibitions that inspire and spread the stylistic of southern California art into the world.
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I can’t imagine my life without it. LEX GILLETTE
5X PARALYMPIC MEDALIST, 4X WORLD CHAMPION & KEYNOTE SPEAKER 96 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘NO NEED FOR SIGHT WHEN YOU HAVE VISION’ BY LEX GILLETTE
THE BRAILLE BLESSING
I CAN’T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT IT Read any good books lately? Whether you read for information, instruction, or inspiration, few things move us as much as a good story. And it’s one of the reasons that I love braille as much as I do. When I was six or seven and my sight was failing, I started to learn braille. Let me tell you something, learning to read by touch is hard. At that time, I still had sight. So, I used to get in trouble with my braille teacher because I would look at the dots versus feeling them with my hands.
But as my sight declined more and more, it became crucial that I learn to read braille properly. So, I worked at it. I think a lot of my teachers marveled at how quickly I was able to learn it. I was motivated to keep reading and enjoyed the autonomy it gave me. All my schoolbooks were in braille, and I was able to do my own work. I learned to love braille very quickly.
January is National Braille Literacy Month. Many of you are familiar with braille, it’s a system of raised dots that represent letters and numbers that someone with a visual impairment can read with their hands instead of their eyes. Most languages in the world now have braille available. In Unified English Braille, the official braille standard for English speakers, there are three levels or grades.
Grade One, or uncontracted braille, is a letter-by-letter transcription used for basic literacy. For instance, if you read the verb ‘can,’ it’s spelled out with three separate symbols for C-A-N.
Grade Two, or contracted braille, uses abbreviations and contractions as a space saving mechanism. In Grade Two, using the verb ‘can’ again as an example, the letter “c” would represent the word on its own. As you learn more and more of the braille code, you learn to read and interpret the information.
Grade Three braille is used the least, and I don’t use it now. It’s considered “shorthand.” Since there’s no official standard, most people don’t use it unless it’s in mathematics, personal letters, diaries, or notes.
BRAILLE 101 AN INTRODUCTION BY LEX GILLETTE
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It took me about a year and a half to learn the entire braille code. All my textbooks were in braille, and I was using a braille writer. It was a device that looked and felt like a typewriter, although there are significantly less keys on the braille writer. I also learned the slate and stylus for shorthand braille notes. It’s pretty tedious to try and write anything longer, like a novel. Eventually, I graduated to devices that have refreshable braille displays. These are devices that connect to a computer. As you navigate using a mouse or arrow keys, the device pushes pins up through the flat bar to simulate the braille you would feel on a page. The words on the reader mirror the words on the computer, in real time.
These are great innovations in making the world more accessible to those who are visually impaired. As I entered high school and college, I continued to utilize braille, but the technology just kept right on coming. Computers progressed. Phones evolved into computers with cameras, audiobooks, music, video conferencing, and accessibility apps. Even today, wearable technology is now all the rage and is getting more affordable every week. There are any number of resources for everyone to have access, regardless if they can read braille or not. I don’t want to downplay how great these innovations are. They’ve done a lot to enrich my life and millions of others’ lives as well. However, I can’t help but think that all this tech competes for the attention of those of us who are visually impaired, which puts braille in a tough place.
I looked up some information about braille usage. Back in 1960, half of school-age children who were legally blind knew braille. (Source: American Foundation for the Blind, "Estimated Number of Adult Braille Readers in the United States", International Braille Research Center (IBRC)) In 1998, only 10% of legally blind students use braille as their primary reading medium. (Source: American Printing House for the Blind (APH) (1999), APH maintains an annual register of legally blind students below the college level).
I worry about this decline. For me, braille serves an even greater purpose. Just like my sighted schoolmates, it allowed me to learn about punctuation, spelling, and grammar. My ability to communicate is enhanced by the fact that I’ve been exposed to all these things. If you only listen to audio books, your vocabulary can benefit, but what does spelling mean for you? I often will stop an audible book and google the spelling of a word, just so I can have a deeper sense of what the word means. Does it have roots in other words I know and use? If I decide to use that word in an email, tweet, etc. or otherwise, I’ll be able to spell it correctly. Also, a listener can learn the cadence and rhythm of language, but will they know where a comma goes? A reader does. They know that “After school (comma) we are going to head to the bus stop.” A listener only knows that comma as a breath in an audible thought, nothing more.
True literacy involves reading and writing. Braille provides that. There are studies that show how braille readers are as literate as their sighted counterparts and how it aids in their success. Ninety percent of those with a visual impairment and braille-literate are employed. Of those who don’t know braille, only 33 percent of them are employed. (Source: Ranalli, Ralph 5 January 2008, "A Boost for Braille", The Boston Globe)
I know for me, listening to an audiobook is a great joy. I can get all sorts of great information. But depending on what I’m doing or what my surroundings are, there’s a good chance that I’m just not as engaged with the writing as I would be if I were reading it myself. To read something takes effort, an act of purpose. I sit down to read braille and I place my hands on something solid and tangible. As I move through the text, I have to process the words and recognize their meaning. If something moves me or demands clarification, I simply move back in the text a little bit and reread it. Many apps and programs for audiobooks were initially designed for people with normal eyesight. So, maneuvering audio back and forth can be tricky when you have a visual impairment. The audiobook rewind/fast forward functions on today’s apps aren’t as easy to use as the old school rewind/fast forward buttons were on my CD or tape player. Sometimes my phone will say “previous” or “next,” but if you press “next” you might be taken to a whole new chapter. This is frustrating as you have to cycle back to the previous chapter and find where you left off.
I’m just so thankful for all that braille has allowed me to learn and enjoy through the years. I view it as such a vital and essential part of my education and my day-to-day life. I can’t imagine life without it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get back to my book. ∎
LEX GILLETTE
5x Paralympic Medalist, 4x World Champion & Keynote Speaker www.awarenessties.us/lex-gillette LEX GILLETTE has quickly become one of the most sought after keynote speakers on the market. Losing his sight at the age of eight was painful to say the least, but life happens. Things don’t always go your way. You can either stay stuck in frustration because the old way doesn’t work anymore, or you can create a new vision for your life, even if you can’t see how it will happen just yet. His sight was lost, but Lex acquired a renewed vision, a vision that has seen him become the best totally blind long and triple jumper Team USA has ever witnessed.
98 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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AD
I fought back the tears that came from what’s seen in the upper right. ALLIÉ MCGUIRE
CO-FOUNDER OF AWARENESS TIES 100 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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PERSONAL STORY BY ALLIÉ MCGUIRE
THE ‘N’ WORD NOT MAD, JUST SAD
When I took this picture on New Year’s Day, I fought back the tears that came from what’s seen in the upper right.
Forest, our 3-year-old, has been asking more and more about words when he sees them.
He wants to know what they say and what they mean.
I said a silent prayer then and there that he didn’t see this word.
When I saw the ’n’ word, I wasn't 'mad'. I was just 'sad'.
For the person who left it for others to see, I wondered what feeling they were left with...
I wondered if using words like that was the only way they feel empowered or validated.
In that moment, more than feeling sad about the word I read, I felt sad for the person who wrote it.
The ’n’ word is a terms I’ve heard and been called a number of times in my life.
It’s a word I’ve wanted to protect my child from. But when he sees it and hears it (as someone yelled it at me the summer before last while I walked with my son at the park), there’s little I can do but hope…
My hope for us all in this year and all years to come is that we become better examples of our humanity and use our words only for good, as we all should. Now is the time to set down what makes us different and pick each other up with love and light.
In this new year, let’s write a new chapter with words that speak to the goodness within us all. ∎
101 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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May this be your year… THI NGUYEN
NONPROFIT CONSULTANT, ENTREPRENEUR & PHILANTHROPIST Photo Credit: GoGreenDress 102 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘GO GREEN DRESS’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY THI NGUYEN
CLEANSING NEW YEAR, NEW YOU
My wish is that you will spend this year becoming a better version of you and allowing yourself to grow, learn, experience and enjoy all that life has to offer. There will be moments of highs and many, many lows but please remember someone out there truly cares for you deeply. New year, new you.
Explore within to grow into
Whatever version you believe is true.
Your life you lived from past to present.
Evolves with each experience.
Align yourself with what makes sense.
Remove yourself from all the nonsense.
Now focus on development and growth.
Engage your energy to your own worth.
Willing to cleanse yourself of the past
You will be put on the right path.
Overcoming obstacles on your way.
Until you’ve conquered another day.
Clear your space of negativity.
Let light, love and laughter enter freely.
Examine each aspect of your life.
Allowing positivity in and removing strife.
Never settle for anything less.
Smile, because you know you’re the best.
Ignite that inner child.
Now start to live your life with your own style.
Go into this year with a clean slate and go wild.
May you swing into the new year filled with warmth and happiness.
May 2022 be the year you are waiting for.
May it cleanse you of whatever no longer serves a purpose in your life.
May you start anew and find a cause worth fighting for.
May this be your year!
Wishing you light, love, laughter and adventure for 2022 from the diaries of the GoGreenDress. Follow me on instagram (@gogreendress)for new images and exciting travel destinations coming up. Happy Year of the Tiger! ∎ THI NGUYEN
Nonprofit Consultant, Entrepreneur & Philanthropist www.awarenessties.us/thi THI NGUYEN brings with her over 2 decades of non profit experience as a participant, advisor, board member, consultant, volunteer and research and development specialist. Her expertise combining technology to further advance the vision and mission for philanthropic causes has allowed her to serve as a trusted partner with many notable organizations large and small. Thi has experience working with organizations focusing on combating various global issues such as: human sex trafficking, homelessness, poverty, fair wages, global warming, malnutrition, gender equality, humanitarian assistance and human rights. She's currently developing an app to connect individuals and corporations to assist nonprofits in furthering their vision and mission.
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Photo Credit: GoGreenDress 104 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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…grow, learn, experience and enjoy all that life has to offer. THI NGUYEN
NONPROFIT CONSULTANT, ENTREPRENEUR & PHILANTHROPIST Photo Credit: GoGreenDress 105 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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I was falling when I thought I was floating… SAGE GALLON
MULTI-MEDIA ARTIST, AUTHOR & OFFICIAL AMBASSADOR FOR HOMELESSNESS AWARENESS Photo Credit: Sage Gallon/‘Crack(s)’ Series 106 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘SAGE ADVICE’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY SAGE GALLON
7:20
MY FIRST TIME USING CRACK (JULY 20, 1992) TRIGGER WARNING: ADDICTION, GRAPHIC DETAILS
“Peep through my window in the loud stillness of night…” The stench of bleach and dry semen is seared into my memory. The places I ran to were as dark and devoid as my soul. I was a sick, broken man doing things eagerly with people I would otherwise not speak to. In part, it was to obtain the poison, but it was also to punish myself for the uncontrollable desire for the poison and my inability to stop. In the darkness I had grown accustomed to, the hurt was my shroud, the pipe my God.
I was an addict, brought to my knees.
“Observe deviant grotesque movements of manifested pain.” At first, in the beginning before it started, it was fun and new. I was released from my inhibitions and insecurities. I was sexy. I was desired, lustfully grabbing any and everything I could. I was falling when I thought I was floating. 10,000 feet in the air, the plane above me, the ground beneath… I didn’t have a parachute. The horror set in as quickly as the decent. I was lost and could no longer feel myself. Something shifted. It grew stronger than I… I became a slave.
“Watch me in silence. Your disgust will validate my sorrow. Your eyes will witness my rage.” The three jobs I had were reduced to just one - a NY night Club. I kept that job because they paid cash. I would leave work on Sunday and run to Time Square to “just get one $20 of Crack”. I would run into one of those adult bookstores to find a booth to smoke in. Illuminated by porn playing on the multiple screens, smoke filling the booth, my heart racing, I would finally be so depleted by Wednesday that I would have to leave. No sleep, no food, just the pain… enveloping, ominous pain. Running to shadows, fear of being seen by someone I knew or worse, not caring. I was gone. In spite of the numerous attempts of suicide, I could not die. Yet this was no life.
“Wrap this enigma, my tattered perversions. Send them flying through the grey white haze of night.” Addiction transforms years into seconds. By the time a minute has passed you’ve lost 10 years. This was my path, the nightmare of my existence. Until the shovel grew to heavy and I could dig no further… an instant of grace that was what was given to me. A pin prick of reprieve, an instant that allowed a battered soul to crawl into rooms where bad coffee and healing were free. Learning that my addiction was spiritual and so too was the solution. An allergy of the body, an obsession of the mind. I had seen folks even worse off than I taking chips for 30 days, blowing out candles on cakes, each candle burned bright in celebration of another year one was no longer enslaved by drugs. Folks who were jailed were now freed and healed. I heard “There is a solution.” ∎
Poetry Excerpts: ‘See Me’ from ‘Naked Under My Clothes’ SAGE GALLON
Multi-Media Artists, Author & Official Ambassador for Homelessness Awareness www.awarenessties.us/sage-gallon SAGE GALLON is a published & award winning multi-media artist. His paintings, photographs, books, music and films present common themes of our humanity with ingenious artistry and inspiring articulation. Despite the losses he’s endured in his life, the wins he’s gained along the way serve as a light for so many lost in the dark.
107 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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Trapped? I’m sorry, but I’m not trapped by my chair… CRAIG GRAHAM
PERSONAL TRAINER & FOUNDER OF ALT MOVEMENT 108 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
‘ALT MOVEMENT’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY CRAIG GRAHAM
RESTRICTED AND FREE
FINDING LIBERATION IN LIMITATIONS In the course of our lifetime it is not uncommon to at some point feel trapped. To feel restricted by our circumstances, by our careers perhaps, or by our emotions, stagnant and unable to move forward as we would like to. Although debilitating, this is normally a limitation that does not physically impede us, which is not the case for someone who uses a wheelchair. A lot of wheelchair users would challenge this notion of being ‘trapped’ however, in this story I will share with you, I argue that in fact they are more free than ever. When we think of someone as being a wheelchair user we often assume that it’s more than just a physical disability, but this is not always the case. Over the years, I’ve listened to many stories about how able bodied people have interacted with wheelchair users. One conversation in particular I had with one of my clients really resonated with me. His response was so empowering and liberating for not just wheelchair users but everyone who may feel limited by their own impairment.
“Although you may see something that restricts me or is a limitation, this is not the case at all.” We’ll call my client ‘Joe’. Just after Christmas, Joe was waiting for a taxi outside a local shopping centre when he was approached by an elderly lady. “Excuse me,” she said, “I feel so sorry for you being trapped in that chair.” Now if you have ever spoken to a wheelchair user, pity is not often something they find particularly flattering nor do they enjoy receiving. However Joe, like many others that require the use of a wheelchair, had encountered this type of interaction multiple times before. He wasn’t annoyed or embarrassed by what the women had said as he sure she never meant any malice behind it, and her words were full of good intentions. But the response he gave is something that has stayed with me to this day. He replied “Trapped? I’m sorry, but I’m not trapped by my chair in actual fact my chair allows me freedom. Without my chair I wouldn’t be able to be the person I am today. For one I’d probably be bed bound I’d also be confined to my room or house and without my chair I wouldn’t be able to work. My wheelchair has given me my independence and gives me the ability to do things by myself, like going shopping. Although you may see something that restricts me or is a limitation, this is not the case at all. For me, like many other wheelchair users, this chair has given me my independence and freedom back and has also opened up so many opportunities that I would have not otherwise been able to pursue.”
109 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
“…if we truly believe we are limited rather than liberated by our circumstances then that’s exactly what we will be.” If we look at the array of wheelchair sports you can take part in, such as wheelchair rugby, Football, Basketball to be honest pretty much any sport that is out there has a adaptation that allows wheelchair users to compete. Andrew Small a Paralympic athlete from the UK who went on to win the gold in the 2020 Tokyo Paralympic games for the 100m sprint, without his chair this would have never been possible. Small at a young age was so inspired by other wheelchair athletes he decided to take up athletics, and in doing so had opened up opportunities that would have not been achievable without the aide of his chair. Sometimes it can be hard to see past the wheelchair, but this is one of those stories that gave that instant moment of awareness and understanding. The mind is a powerful thing and if we truly believe we are limited rather than liberated by our circumstances then that’s exactly what we will be.
Reaching the same destination can achieved using multiple methods of transport, most of us can choose whether to walk, drive or cycle and for others their vehicle may have already been chosen for them. ∎
CRAIG GRAHAM
Personal Trainer & Founder of Alt Movement www.awarenessties.us/craig-graham CRAIG GRAHAM is a Personal Trainer based in the UK, as well as the founder and creator of Alt Movement, which aims to provide individuals with disabilities alternative and adaptive ways of exercising.
110 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
It’s about finding the balance that works. ULPA CHAUHAN
DIRECTOR OF GENIUS CONCEPTS AT BEYOND BAMBOO & GLOBAL FACILITATOR AT ROUNDTABLE GLOBAL 112 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
‘GLOBAL GOOD’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY TANITH HARDING
ULPA CHAUHAN
A CHAMPION FOR CHANGE WITH BEYOND BAMBOO Ulpa Chauhan is the Director of Genius Concepts at Beyond Bamboo, Global Facilitator at RoundTable Global, a HundrED Ambassador, TEDx Speaker and the Founder of Travel Kind Connect. She is passionate about the travel industry and creating change to the tourist industry at a time when change is really needed. Through Beyond Bamboo she is working with big players in tourism to help them understand the need for change. TANITH: Firstly Ulpa, as a colleague and partner in crime in most of the above, I know how much you do! How do you find time for everything?
ULPA: There are four P’s, planning, you've got to plan your day, your week and often the month ahead so you know what's going on. Then passion and purpose. I love what I do and I think that's really important. It means I get up in the morning and I enjoy work. The final P is play. You have to enjoy it. Have fun and take time out for yourself because we often forget to look after ourselves and, as much as I love what I do, I also love looking after myself too. Those are my key things.
ULPA CHAUHAN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW BY TANITH HARDING
113 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
You have to enjoy it… ULPA CHAUHAN
DIRECTOR OF GENIUS CONCEPTS AT BEYOND BAMBOO & GLOBAL FACILITATOR AT ROUNDTABLE GLOBAL 114 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
“It’s about understanding how you as an individual can make that difference.” TANITH: You are so very passionate about travel, what led you to want to explore the world? What have you learned by doing so?
ULPA: When I used to live with my parents, we subscribed to Reader's Digest. One of the purchases that my parents made was this huge atlas, and I'd sit there looking through it and thinking about all of the places I really wanted to visit. I also wanted to be an air hostess. Couple those two things together and you have my drive and love for travel!
I have been in the travel industry for over 20 years. I've worked for an airline and in tourism and hospitality. I’ve covered all areas including education and the training side. That's my background but really I just love travelling and I've always said the world is the best classroom. What you can learn when you're traveling, you can’t experience in a classroom. I could tell somebody about the pyramids in Egypt, but when you go there and see them you really learn about it from a local perspective and that's what I love. I love interacting with the different people and seeing the amazing things around the world. I have to say at the very top is the people that you meet that help you to see and learn from other cultures. You couldn't get that anywhere else.
TANITH: With both Travel Kind Connect and Beyond Bamboo you are working to make the travel industry a beyond sustainable industry, why is this so important?
ULPA: We've known for a long time that the travel and hospitality industry has been quite a wasteful one. Change isn't new in the industry, it’s been happening for a long time, and there have been some really big champions pushing forward to make sure the industry is as sustainable as possible. There is also a misconception that flying around the world is the worst thing towards carbon emissions, but actually, one of the biggest things that any human can do to reduce carbon emissions is to reduce their consumption of meat. It's all about understanding and balancing that out. There are some great books out there that can help you understand how much carbon emission there is in everything we do from sending a text message to buying a loaf of bread. It’s about understanding how you as an individual can make that difference.
In terms of the travel and tourism industry, it's knowing the information and culture and everything else you gain far exceeds the carbon emissions, because knowledge is power. What you can do to counteract that is to support those cultures and that's what Travel Kind Connect is about and also what we do with Beyond Bamboo. We want people to travel, because it's so important, but how can we minimise those carbon emissions? How can we make it more sustainable for us to travel? There are many hotels out there already doing so much towards sustainability. The Green Claims Code in the UK has meant that organisations have to start to make a difference and show that they are doing what they say they're doing. That's where Beyond Bamboo comes in, for us, it's important to guide and help those organisations because it can be overwhelming when you're trying to start out and make that change. Businesses often wonder where to start. We always say that it’s not about one person being zero waste. It's having a billion people doing just one thing, and if we can get everybody doing at least something, even within the travel industry, we can make a difference. 115 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
TANITH: Beyond Bamboo B2B is about going beyond sustainability for business, but what makes it different from the competition?
ULPA: We look at the bigger picture. It's not about coming into your business and saying let’s swap that for that, because yes that's a start, but we bring a whole circular approach to it all. We look at everything you do, your staffing, your energy, your waste. Let's look at how you work as a business to help you be sustainable in more than just one area. We know that collaboration is key so we bring in experts in various fields, because working together, we can make so much more of a difference. This is a case where I'd say the term FOMO is a great thing! The fear of missing out means if there's one chain, hotel or school doing something that's making that difference then others think ‘if they can do it, we can do it’. There's that whole mentality with us humans, if we start that wave of change, we know that's going to make a huge difference. We're different because there's so much more that we bring to the plate. It's a full circular approach and we bring all the expertise from around the world into it as well.
TANITH: What is your vision for the future of tourism and what do you think needs to change to make that happen?
ULPA: People will always travel, there have been articles saying we will reduce travel, but people love it because it's such an amazing experience. I think that it will continue to grow and it's really needed at the moment for the industry. We've had two years of the Hospitality, Tourism and Travel Industry really feeling the brunt of the pandemic. I envision that it will become so the norm to stay in an eco resort it won't be called an eco resort, it will just be a resort. You won't be looking for sustainable hotels in the future because all hotels will be. That would be the ideal, that when we're travelling, it’s on a flight that's using renewable fuel to stay in places that are sustainable, eco and ethical without having to even search for those terms. It’s a small market at the moment but it will become normal that we're traveling economically. There was a report about a flight within the US that was done using renewable fuel so we are ready to start getting planes to be as sustainable as they can be, but it doesn't have to wait for that to happen. In the meantime it's about finding the balance that works and utilising that as travelers. ∎
TANITH HARDING
Director of International Development, The Legacy Project, RoundTable Global www.awarenessties.us/tanith-harding Tanith is leading change management through commitment to the RoundTable Global Three Global Goals of: Educational Reform, Environmental Rejuvenation & Empowerment for All. She delivers innovative and transformational leadership and development programmes in over 30 different countries and is also lead on the international development of philanthropic programmes and projects. This includes working with a growing team of extraordinary Global Change Ambassadors and putting together the Global Youth Awards which celebrate the amazing things our young people are doing to change the world.
116 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
Let’s change this gilded age and celebrate achievement for what it is… SONJA MONTIEL
CO-FOUNDER OF THE DECIDED HEART EFFECT Photo Credit: CottonBro 118 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
‘THE DECIDED HEART EFFECT’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY SONJA MONTIEL
THE GILDED AGE
REGARDING RECOGNITION OF ACHIEVEMENT In January 2019, Bobby’s mother texted me a photo. It was Bobby’s acceptance letter to his first-choice college. We went into a flurry exchanging pictures, words, and GIFs that represented something beyond excitement. It was relief and a fulfillment of hope between college counselor and parent. Bobby’s college planning process wasn’t easy for him. His mother was working on the other side of the world, while his father was doing the best he could to support Bobby’s heavy course load and help manage an activity list that demanded more time than Bobby had. This acceptance to college was a triumph. In that moment, Mom and I were celebrating a hard-working teenager.
Then came the gut-punch when I congratulated Bobby.
I texted him, “Bobby, Congrats on your acceptance!”
His response seconds later, “Oh that's a fake. My friend created that letter. I wanted my parents to stop worrying about me….I know you understand that we will keep this just between us."
I was shocked. I was angry. I was hurt. I cried. I was so afraid by this young person's sense of entitlement to straightup lie and comfortably invite me in as his accomplice.
What did I do, you ask?
I called him and said he had 10 minutes to tell the truth to his parents, who were currently overjoyed with pride and sharing this forged letter to the world. Bobby decided to do the right thing. Within 20 minutes, I was comforting his parents who were blindsided and devastated.
Unfortunately, this story isn’t new to me as I have comforted way too many parents and misguided teens who felt they had no choice but to lie, cheat, and steal to be validated. These young people truly believed that their worth and relationships depended on what they had achieved.
Two decades as a college counselor is long enough to witness the invisible addiction to symbols of achievement within families occurring in so many societies. Wanting it so badly, the marketplace has put price tags for obtaining high levels of recognition. Go ahead and Google the costs of educational support programs, camps, specialized training, pay-to-play internships, and the astronomical price of a college education.
Achievement was intended to represent the courage, endurance, and skillset of a person to complete a desired goal. As success has become quickly represented by tangible symbols like awards, certificates, trophies, and invitations to only the few, families have become addicted to constant achievement.
Hung on walls and placed on mantles, these idols to achievement, lessened the fear of parents’ greatest unknown. Achievement meant access. Achievement meant feeling comfortable. Achievement helped parents feel assured that their child would eventually find their place in the world.
119 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
“…fixed-minded people measure their learning experience based on the outcome, not the journey.” I was driving home one morning after dropping off my kid at school. In front of me was a van, its rear covered in 14 of the exact same stickers that read:
“Proud Parent of Honor Roll Student”
Here’s the thing, when family members are looking at the wall, the mantle, and even the backs of vehicles covered with “stuff” of achievement, no one is looking at the child. Enamored by the glory of words like distinguished, highest achieving, best, and first, children learn quickly that their parents will be happy when they too can give their parents things with their names on them. There is a significant shift where children are engaged in acts of achievement to feed the egos of their parents, helping parents feel good about parenting. With continual praise that children receive, they live a habit of deciding to participate in experiences from external motivation, rather than intrinsic.
What a perfect recipe to raise a child who becomes fixed-minded, believing that the end of their learning experiences arrives when praise is received. Beyond that, it’s too risky to invest effort and skills for something other than the prize. American psychologist and author, Dr. Carol Dweck, researched the experiences and identity-formation amongst people who had fixed and growth mindsets.
Ultimately, fixed-minded people measure their learning experience based on the outcome, not the journey. Before engaging in any experience, they need a carrot in front of them before they contribute effort. When learning gets too hard, fixed-minded people might avoid the path all together; or, in Bobby’s case, cheat to create a façade of success. As a result, children who are fixed-minded grow up consistently chasing praise throughout their adult lives to be at the top, and yet, they will still not feel worthy enough.
“Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift—by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.” ― Dr. Carol Dweck, Mindset: How You Can Fulfill Your Potential (2012)
Growth-minded people believe that abilities, skills, and talents are not fixed but instead constantly developing through effort. Their motivation is fueled by their own curiosity to learn for the sake of learning, accepting challenges and mistakes as part of the experience. Ultimately, they are enjoying the journey of seeking out knowledge and see every challenge as an opportunity rather than an obstacle. They aren’t looking to others for motivation, but instead rely on themselves to persevere through the learning experience. Dr. Dweck stated that “many growth-minded people didn’t even plan to go to the top. They got there as a result of doing what they love. It’s ironic: The top is where the fixedmindset people hunger to be, but it’s where many growth-minded people arrive as a by-product of their enthusiasm for what they do.” — Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (2007) 120 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
So, how can we change this gilded age of achievement?
First, consider the words we are using. I hear the statements below often between adult and child, and I recognize that the intention of these statements is to motivate children, keep them inspired, keep them accountable to their commitments. However, read closely:
“Did you ace your exam?”
“I will be so happy when you get your black belt!”
“I will be so proud of you if you attend Dream College!”
“Oh, look how smart you are for earning this certificate!”
“You are the best of the best of the best.”
When children hear these statements, they begin to internalize and label who they are:
I am smart when I can earn a perfect GPA.
I am great when I earn my black belt.
I am capable of having an amazing life when I attend Dream College.
I am happy when I am the best of the best of the best.
Now let’s consider another way to communicate achievement with our children. One that encourages effort over praise: Praise - “I am so proud that you got an A on the exam!”
Encouragement - “I saw how hard you studied for that exam. How do you feel?”
Praise - “Look at this beautiful trophy! How exciting!”
Encouragement - “I noticed how focused you were in developing your skills. How exciting!”
Praise – “You are the best of the best!” or “You are so smart!”
Encouragement – “Your dedication and curiosity to learn something new is inspiring!” or “Your ability to focus and determination to understand something is admirable!”
Changing our awareness, our language, and our sense of belonging so that each individual is truly celebrated for who they are, no matter the achievement, is what The DH Effect is all about. As cofounder with Hilary Bilbrey, we are creating opportunities for self-discovery and accountability for all ages, so that they can build high-trust relationships that lead to a powerful sense of belonging – with others and themselves. To truly belong, we must start by accepting ourselves.
In the case of recognizing achievement, The DH Effect asks us to consider:
What if we didn't anchor worth to symbols of achievements?
What if we didn't have to wait for a sticker or certificate to celebrate our effort?
What if our children come home with an exam in their hands, and they aren’t ashamed of a grade, but instead proud of the effort they put into it?
What if our children's C grade was truly their absolute best, and we are all celebrating?
What if children invested so much passion in building a project, but it didn't look as polished as another?
Can we celebrate their commitment, dedication, and resilience?
121 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
AwareNow Podcast
THE GILDED AGE
Written and Narrated by Sonja Montiel
https://awarenow.us/podcast/the-gilded-age
“Let’s offer encouragement of effort rather than praise.” Let’s change this gilded age and celebrate achievement for what it is – a mindset that has overcome challenges through investment of time, endurance, dedication, perseverance, commitment and so many other virtues. Let’s offer encouragement of effort rather than praise. Let’s focus our attention on the person achieving, rather than the measurement of it. Why? Imagine our world where people never stop learning. They are contributing their talents and abilities to solve problems because they care. They engage with one another with self-trust that leads to trustworthiness and belonging. Ultimately, our world will be so grateful for it. ∎
SONJA MONTIEL
Co-Founder of The Decided Heart Effect www.awarenessties.us/sonja-montiel Sonja has served more than twenty-one years in the college admissions profession, having extensive experience in the areas of freshman, transfer, and international admissions. During her time working with thousands of teens and young adults worldwide, she began to witness many societies creating an unhealthy college-bound culture that misguides our young people in their pursuit of living a life of fulfillment. In 2021, Sonja met Hilary Bilbrey to begin something amazing. They created The DH Effect – The Decided Heart Effect with a mission to guide individuals, schools, and organizations to build high-trust relationships and belonging through self-discovery and personal accountability.
122 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
Get the information from the people who have it to the people that need it. SEAN V. BRADLEY
MULTI-MILLIONAIRE ENTREPRENEUR, BEST SELLING AUTHOR & NSA SPEAKER Photo Credit: @seanvbradley 124 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
‘UNSUGARCOATED’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY AALIA LANIUS
SEAN V. BRADLEY
LET GO OF SHAME TO GROW WITH SEAN V. BRADLEY In Episode 69, Sean V. Bradley shares his journey from being a dealer on the streets to becoming “The Millionaire Car Salesman.” In this candid conversation, you’ll get to hear from both our host, Aalia Lanius and Sean discuss their less than perfect backgrounds and how each dealt with the shame of “who they were'' to embrace “who they are”. Sean shares how he grew up in an abusive household, spent 3 years in a juvenile facility, and started dealing drugs in the rave scene by the age of 17 (9:45). Utilizing the skills he learned on the streets, Sean is breaking the cycle of trauma and violence that held him back from his greatest potential (29:30). Sean leaves the audience with this final message; remember that time is the most precious commodity, experience life to the fullest (33:55). ∎
UNSUGARCOATED AALIA LANIUS WITH SEAN V. BRADLEY
Like, comment, and subscribe! Stay connected with your host on IG: @aalia_unsugarcoated AALIA LANIUS
Novelist, Speaker, Podcast Host & Social Entrepreneur www.awarenessties.us/aalialanius AALIA LANIUS is the Founder and President of Unsugarcoated Media, a 501(c)(3) media organization. Dedicated to helping survivors of trauma lead mentally healthier lives, Lanius' focus is creating media and events that empower, educate, heal, and inspire another the way it has for her. Lanius is also a multiple awardwinning American novelist, social entrepreneur, and advocate with over 20 years of sharing her personal experiences with audiences of all age groups and diverse backgrounds. Executive Producer and host of the award-nominated seasonal podcast show, “Unsugarcoated with Aalia”, a visual and audio experience that features conversations intended to bring value and amplify voices that create more empathy and understanding of one another.
125 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
The campaign is about much more than raising billboards. CATHY CAPLENER
FOUNDER OF YOU ARE ENOUGH 126 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CATHY CAPLENER
YOU ARE ENOUGH
THE MESSAGE AND THE MOVEMENT YOU ARE ENOUGH is a mental wellness campaign with a mission to help us feel that we are enough right now and always have been. Led by Cathy Caplener, funds are being raised to put up billboards around the country that display these powerful and heartfelt words. ALLIÉ: The power of three words. One example is ‘I LOVE YOU’. Another is ‘YOU ARE ENOUGH’. What is it that inspired you to take the power of this message and make it into a movement?
CATHY: I have always been one of those folks who has bucked the mentality that we have to be more, do more, and have more to feel worthy. Today we are no longer considered citizens and are consumers living in a scarcity society where we are being programmed to think that we need more to feel more. That more can mean so many things. When we are born, we are beautiful and enough and as we get older we lose this feeling of self worth. I wanted to find a way to reach people in the masses with words that we could all relate to and thought that YOU ARE ENOUGH (in all caps) on billboards throughout the world would be a start. I also wanted to find a way where people could be a part of the movement and help others heal as they strive to feel into their ENOUGH. So with the donation-based campaign, societal healing began with the launch of 14 billboards in Los Angeles at a time where we were and are facing a mental health and health pandemic in our world. I knew that this campaign/movement could reach millions.
ALLIÉ: Behind every public statement there is a personal story. What’s your story behind ‘YOU ARE ENOUGH’?
CATHY: I have faced depression and anxiety most of my life and one morning when I woke up feeling isolated and in a dark space I thought to myself that no one should have to go through this. When you are in a dark space you can feel so alone and not seen and heard. I wanted to find a way to reach people with a big hug to let them know that they are seen and that they are worthy. So I thought, why not get billboards up across the country that say YOU ARE ENOUGH? I interviewed folks for about six months and talked about the concept and what these words mean or do not mean to them. After talking to folks I realized more than ever that we all struggle with feeling enough on a daily basis and that many of us do not realize this and feel alone. I knew that our country had a mental health pandemic and that depression is our number one disability. So I wanted to find a way to bring people together to feel worthy and also know that they can help others heal with their love and support. The campaign is about much more than raising billboards. I wanted to create a societal healing campaign that could evolve. YOU ARE ENOUGH is just the start. We need to come together to heal as a world and I hope that we can unite and heal together. Our country has some work to do and I believe that we all need to feel hope and feel empowered to help one another feel worthy and seen.
ALLIÉ: Starting a movement isn’t easy. Cathy, what’s been the hardest part so far?
CATHY: When you are passionate about something the one thing that you need to remember is that no one else is going to have the same passion. I have had high expectations about people joining me and helping me and well, I must admit, I have been let down. When you are someone who starts a movement you feel alone a lot and that no one gets what you are truly trying to do. It is easy for people to say this is great and I love it but when it comes down to getting help from your fans this is a different story. We are all busy and we have our own lives. I have learned during the past two years while running the movement that I am going to have to be the one to take the lead and be the talking head and that I am responsible for keeping the movement going. There are so many rewards but I must admit that it can be pretty lonely when you are constantly pitching something to others that you love from the bottom of your heart. Not everyone is going to get it. 127 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
I wanted to find a way to reach people with a big hug to let them know that they are seen and that they are worthy. CATHY CAPLENER
FOUNDER OF YOU ARE ENOUGH 128 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
“…societal healing began with the launch of 14 billboards in Los Angeles.” ALLIÉ: With regard to your billboards. Where did you begin, where are you now and where are you going in 2022?
CATHY: I began the movement before the Covid pandemic hit our world. I really wanted to get a billboard up in every state of the US before the 2020 election because I saw a need to unite people and empower people to know that they can help heal themselves and others. During the pandemic it was extremely hard to raise funds and it still is. We are in such a strange time and fear and uncertainty hangs over us on so many levels. What I hear over and over again is that this is the perfect time for this billboard campaign due to what our country and world is going through, especially on the mental health side of things. But as far as I am concerned, it is always going to be the right time for this campaign. So I want to find a way to grow the movement under the non-profit I started called Giving Purpose where I will launch societal healing campaigns with YOU ARE ENOUGH being the flagship campaign. Giving Purpose is about uniting people to heal and when you think about it, there are so many ways we can make this happen. I am still flushing out what this means as far as creating a business and programs and will continue to work with people to see how we can create a successful non-profit.
ALLIÉ: For those who want to support the YOU ARE ENOUGH movement, what’s the best way to do that?
CATHY: Right now I am raising funds via a GoFundMe campaign. I am working on a website for Giving Purpose that will point folks to the donation page, the merchandise store, and social media channels. For now please go to GoFundMe at https://gofund.me/0dfbbaca ∎
Learn more about YOU ARE ENOUGH: https://linktr.ee/self.enough
129 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
…my big dream is to have the first plastic free hotel in Albania. KLEA KORRO
ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST, DIANA AWARD & ROUNDTABLE GLOBAL YOUTH AWARD RECIPIENT 130 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
‘GLOBAL GOOD’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY TANITH HARDING
KLEA KORRO
AWARD WINNING ALBANIAN ACTIVIST MAKING CHANGE Klea Korro started her environmental leadership campaign at the age of 18 after observing some dead sea turtles from plastic ingestion in the Karaburun Peninsula of Albania. It was then that she decided environmental species life changing projects was what she wanted to do in life. At the age of 21 she was elected by HSH Prince Albert II of Monaco as a laureate and this year she has won both the Diana Award 2021 and concluded with a RoundTable Global Youth Award for her efforts towards no plastic tourism in Albanian restaurants near shores. TANITH: Klea your environmental journey began at the age of 18 with those poor sea turtles, what was your awareness of environmental issues up until that point?
KLEA: I’ve grown up in a family where we all love learning about environmental issues. My father is a veterinarian and so when I was young before the age of 18, I was always accompanying him on missions or in fields. Before starting the projects by myself my only awareness regarding the environment in Albania was regarding the plastic waste situation. I just observed that our state lacks plastic separation, especially with bins, as in plastic separation bins, and apart from that, I saw a lot of dead animals like dolphins and also the sea turtles you mentioned, and the reason behind that was plastic. I decided I needed to do something to make a change.
KLEA KORRO EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW BY TANITH HARDING
131 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com
TANITH: Lots of people see and experience plastic pollution but you turned your experience into action and raising awareness, what was the first action you took and why?
KLEA: The first action was the one in Karaburun in the Southern Islands of Albania, which is visited by a lot of tourists, there were some small cleanup actions with a team of young people, all from high schools and universities of Tirana. We would just take the waste and gather it and then send it to the collection points of the municipalities. After that the programme went further as we tried to provide training for these young people regarding the plastic waste and what happens without getting plastic separation and also information regarding incinerators and the effects that they bring to the environment. These were the first actions that were considered small. Then we went on to do more with further actions that also involved other states and the Balkans as well.
TANITH: Three years after your journey started you were elected by HSH Prince Albert II of Monaco as a laureate for being the youngest person in the Balkans to fight for zero plastics. What can you tell us about this particular project?
KLEA: The project is with interstate rivers, common sense and stable Balkans. It involves seven universities of West Balkans, with seven states including Albania as well, and it involves young people from the universities who organised cleanup actions. Also we have founded a network as a type of alliance among young people where they can identify what the point is of plastics, organise their affections, and also give ideas and provide solutions to the plastic pollution problem. These ideas consist of a phase which consists of art, so turning plastic into art work in order to encourage more people to recycle and raise awareness and also to sensitise the community to plastic waste.
TANITH: Since then you have gone on to win a Diana Award 2021 and a RoundTable Global Youth Award for your campaign to replace plastics with more traditional methods such as knitted sacks or handcrafted food jars and utensils. How is the campaign going?
KLEA: It’s going pretty well, when we thought of the idea it was just to take into consideration Albania in the 90s where no plastic waste would enter our state as we were in a communism period. We thought why are we not returning to the zero plastic tradition in Albania by using what we already have. Using what we have I talk to people about replacing plastic bags with knitted ones or sacks. So no plastic sacks and also for example we were meeting with beach lounges, bars and restaurants especially those in the islands, the campaign is now concluded but was a great success. We can now supply penalties in conjunction with the Ministry of Environment for all tourists who travel to islands of Albania by boats and throw plastic in the sea and on the beaches. We are raising awareness by implementing posters in the boats that detail penalties like fines.
TANITH: You are committed to creating change and leading the way towards plastic free tourism in Albania, but what are your big dreams and ambitions for the future?
KLEA: Thinking about it my big dream is to have the first plastic free hotel in Albania. So that means going plastic free from the way the food is packaged to the service and also using plastic free utensils that they are used in the hotel. This would be a pioneering initiative and also in addition to this we have started measuring the levels of pollution in the rivers of Albania, especially this summer. We had Surfrider Europe guide us and we are using artificial intelligence programmes to measure the level of pollution in the rivers of Albania. It’s also a great pleasure for me to have been recognised for a Global Youth Award and to have Albania be featured for the first time. ∎ Find out more about the work Klea is doing: http://royalalbaniafoundation.org TANITH HARDING
Director of International Development, The Legacy Project, RoundTable Global www.awarenessties.us/tanith-harding Tanith is leading change management through commitment to the RoundTable Global Three Global Goals of: Educational Reform, Environmental Rejuvenation & Empowerment for All. She delivers innovative and transformational leadership and development programmes in over 30 different countries and is also lead on the international development of philanthropic programmes and projects. This includes working with a growing team of extraordinary Global Change Ambassadors and putting together the Global Youth Awards which celebrate the amazing things our young people are doing to change the world.
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If you’ve made a choice that didn’t work out, fix it, learn from it. Don’t identify with it. DESMOND CLARK
SPEAKER, AUTHOR & FORMER NFL PLAYER 134 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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‘PRINCIPLES OF WINNING’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY DESMOND CLARK
DON’T AVOID MISTAKES AVOID MISCALCULATIONS
Quite possibly, the worst day of my life was when I had to sit my twin daughters down and tell them that I wasn’t going to be in our home anymore. My then-wife and I had decided to divorce, and the kids, obviously, like many of you, were my greatest concern.
I’ve been reflecting on that, in recent days and weeks—my daughters are now freshmen in college. My oldest twin played basketball at a high level in high school. She earned her grades. She earned her accolades. I’m immensely proud of her and her sister. She was with me this past Thanksgiving, this young woman—no longer a child—she thinks like an adult, she behaves like an adult, she operates in her life like an adult. And every once in a while she also needs me to be Dad — to offer some nugget of advice and some earned wisdom.
Here's the deepest wisdom I’ve got, girl. Don’t try to do it perfectly. It won’t work, it’s an impossible bar. I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t even perfect with her. The darkest day of my life was built around disappointing her.
If perfection is too high a bar, and it is, then aim for something along the line of conscious decision-making. If you’ve made a choice that didn’t work out, fix it, learn from it. Don’t identify with it.
This is perhaps the only true thing I’ve learned in 40 years on the planet.
My daughter, like the people in the organizations at which I speak, like my clients who have honored me with the responsibility of being their coach, sometimes seem to think there is some nugget of earned wisdom I can share to make obvious what’s going to happen to them so that they save themselves the pain of having to learn from mistakes.
I would say the truest nugget of wisdom I could offer is exactly the opposite of that:
Don’t try to avoid the mistake, it’s impossible. It’s like asking for the answer to the question before you know all the calculations in the equation. Don’t try to avoid the mistake, just try to avoid the gaps in the calculation. Realize where you’re vulnerable. Act, don’t react, don’t identify… and learn.
And, I’ve got your back. ∎ DESMOND CLARK
Speaker, Author & Former NFL Player www.awarenessties.us/desmondclark Empowering sales professionals and leaders with ‘Principles of Winning’ to create a standard of excellence, DESMOND CLARK is a former star NFL Tight End, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Author, Speaker, and Inspirational Business Coach. During his 12 year tenure in the NFL, he played with the Denver Broncos, Miami Dolphins, and 8 years with the Chicago Bears, retiring as the second leading Tight End in Bears history for catches, yards, and touchdowns behind only Hall of Famer Mike Ditka. Before entering into the NFL, Desmond set Wake Forest University receiving records and finished his college career as all-time leading receiver in Atlantic Coast Conference history and a degree in communications. For more information about the ‘Principles of Winning’ group coaching course call 863.581.5161 or email desmond@dezclarkspeaks.com.
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I focus on finding ways to reinvent democracy to adapt to today’s society. DAWN NAKAGAWA
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE BERGGRUEN INSTITUTE 136 AWARENOW / THE CLEAN EDITION
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW SERIES BY ALEXANDER TAYLOR
A NEW DAWN
A CONVERS ATI ON WITH D AWN N A K AGAWA The Berggruen Institute was established in 2010 to develop foundational ideas about how to reshape political and social institutions in the face of these great transformations. They work across cultures, disciplines and political boundaries, engaging great thinkers to develop and promote long-term answers to the biggest challenges of the 21st Century. Allow us to provide you with a new introduction. Meet Dawn Nakagawa, the Executive Vice President of the Berggruen Institute. ALEXANDER: Tell us about your efforts and role with the Berggruen Institute.
DAWN: I am the Executive Vice President of the Berggruen Institute. I started at Berggruen Institute in 2011 as the first employee so I have overseen the development of the organization since its birth and had the privilege to work on all aspects of our work. The mission of the institute is to deepen our understanding of the transformational change humanity is undergoing in this era and develop new kinds of institutions to help us steward it. Technology, scientific discovery and climate change are driving change in our lives and in our systems at an unprecedented pace, one that governments in particular are finding difficult to cope with. We need new ideas and new institutions to manage the challenges we face in the 21st century. My particular area of focus is the Future of Democracy. As the Director in this area of our work, I focus on finding ways to reinvent democracy to adapt to today’s society.
ALEXANDER: How did your time at McGill and University of Chicago shape the social impact work you do now?
DAWN: It is hard to measure. At McGill, I studied political science and found my lifelong passion in political philosophy and international policy. At University of Chicago, I studied business where I learned strategy and organizational management skills that serve me today. More importantly, I couldn’t be where I am without either of those institutions. Not only did they prepare me for the world beyond school, but my family legacy with both Universities goes back 3 generations.
ALEXANDER: Did the problem-solving skills gained in McKinsey & Company help you in generating solutions to global challenges?
DAWN: The problem-solving skills I learned at McKinsey have served me in every area of my work and life. I can barely hear a question without beginning to formulate the answer in a matrix or chart. Breaking down problems into their component parts in order to see them clearly and tackle them systematically can be applied in most situations and provides better outcomes. This goes for global challenges too. Not because I alone will develop the best solutions by approaching it this way, but because I can help others see the problems more clearly and help brilliant, experienced teams come to different conclusions and new insights.
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“We need to put ourselves in a different context and see beyond the boundaries of the systems we have created…” ALEXANDER: What was a typical day for you during the pandemic? How has it affected the operations at The Berggruen Institute?
DAWN: A typical day consists of waking up at about 6am to start my day. I spend the first hour reading news and planning my day before working out, showering and starting my first calls of the day, which are usually with people in Europe. We are in the process of starting an office in Venice, Italy. By the end of the day, I am often talking to my team in China. I try to balance my day between zoom calls and finding time to read, study, and write. Since I oversee the entire organization – we have not had a president for several years - I don’t succeed most days, so hours get consumed by zoom calls, but I never stop trying. During much of the pandemic, we have been working remotely, but there were a few months in there that people started to come back to the office. We had one mandatory in office day a week until Omicron surged. I hope we can return to being in the office a couple of days a week soon.
ALEXANDER: What challenges are you and your team preparing to address in 2022?
DAWN: The areas of work we focus on include the future of democracy, the economy, human life and our planet. Literally, these are our program areas. In each one, we try to develop solutions to the challenges we are seeing today. The crisis of democracy is one of legitimacy. The system suffers from elite capture which breeds distrust and discontent. We need to develop new forms of democracy, new institutions that operate quite differently than our electoral, representative democracy, which is a poor fit for this age. We need a Citizens’ Democracy, one in which the people are engaged both broadly and deeply in the process of governance, policy development and decision-making in order to restore faith in the system. We also face de stabilizing levels of inequality in our economy. We are devising programs to address not just income, but wealth inequality. We are working with several governments to try to convince them to develop new “pre distribution” programs. We must reckon with the planet in a new way in order to fix what we have broken. Our system of international institutions is not proving up to the challenge of climate change. We need to put ourselves in a different context and see beyond the boundaries of the systems we have created, in order to devise new solutions and build new institutions to execute them. This is our work. None of these problems will be solved quickly. It is ongoing study, idea generation and policy development followed by the hard work of convincing hearts and minds of the path forward. This will keep us busy for years to come, I believe. ∎
Learn more about Dawn Nakagawa and the Berggruen Institute: www.berggruen.org ALEXANDER TAYLOR
Founder & President of Artem NexGen www.awarenessties.us/alexander-taylor ALEXANDER TAYLOR is the Founder of Artem NextGen, a 2019 Global Citizen Year Senegal Graduate, and a 2019 1M2030 spotlight speaker at the United Nations European Headquarters in Geneva. After spending 7 months overseas in Senegal after High School, he developed Artem NextGen, an strategic advisory group for social entrepreneurs, to empower the rising generation of youth to address UN Sustainable Development Goals. He has been featured and quoted on a UN website in honor of his efforts. His story is about to be delved into by a New York Times bestselling author and he has several international summit invitations on his itinerary. Outside of his efforts, Alex enjoys running outdoors during his own time as a rising junior at Morehouse College. He is an avid writer and chess player.
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THROUGH THESE STORIES WE SHARED
I AM AWARE NOW. www.IamAwareNow.com
R E A D , L I S T E N & WAT C H T h e M a g a z i n e , T h e P o d c a s t & T h e Ta l k S h o w