Pass The Popcorn

PASS THe POPCORN TMNT A complete and “turtle” disaster

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GODZILLA

ScarinG Our Kids

Has everything except Godzilla

Should we do it?

NOVEMBER 2014 £2.99

MEN LIKE PONIES? STORY OF THE BRONIES passthepopcornmagazine.co.uk

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• Ninja turtle Mikey (voiced by Joel Fisher) unveils his new ugly mug

CONTENTS

FEATURES

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FICTIONAL SCIENCE? Renowned director of Inception, Christopher Nolan, addresses criticisms of the science in his latest acclaimed hit, Interstellar.

“TURTLE” BOMB A review on Michael Bay’s latest addition to movies that ruin your favourite childhood toys: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

PREPARE YOUR TICKET MONEY A list on the upcoming family films for both November and the month of Christmas cheer REALLY? THIS SHOW? Analysis on the bizarre phenomenon that is “bronies”, grown men who adore the show “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”.

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NOVEMBER 2014

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THINK YOU KNOW MOVIES? Put your knowledge of films to the test with the ultimate movie quiz.

NOT ENOUGH GODZILLA Does Gareth Edwards’ newest film save the Godzilla franchise after 1998’s bomb?

LATE TO THE PARTY Critic Charlie Dinnie begins his “catch-up on TV shows” marathon with Sherlock.

HEY, IT’S THAT VOICE A list counting down the top 11 best voice actors in nostalgic and new film and TV. PUTTING FEAR INTO KIDS A study regarding the longasked question on whether scaring our children with films is alright.

“Interstellar” director addresses complaints about newest movie’s ‘plotholes’

By Charlie Dinnie Ever since the release of Christopher Nolan’s latest film “Interstellar”, critics have bombarded it with praise for its acting, emotional moments, visual effects and especially its surprising scientific accuracy. A majority of praise towards the science comes from the fact that renowned American theoretical physicist Kip Thorne assisted Nolan during the film’s production. Even people at NASA have admitted they found it enjoyable and can sit through it okay. I still have yet to see it for myself.

Unfortunately, like every film, the film has had its share of criticism from moviegoers regarding many elements of the film that don’t appear to make a whole lot of sense. The renowned director, however, was calmly up to the task of addressing these so-called ‘criticisms’.

Nolan explained during an interview with The Daily Beast: “To be honest, I haven’t read whatever holes people are trying to poke so I can speak to the validity of it. My films are always held to a weirdly high standard for those issues that isn’t applied to everybody else’s films — which I’m fine with. People are always accusing my films of having plot holes, and I’m very aware of the plot holes in my films and very aware of when people spot them, but they generally don’t.”

One particular giant section of debate is dedicated to the accuracy of the science of space and time within the film, in particular the depiction of how a black hole can impact time relativity. Nolan assured them that the guidance he recieved from his good friend Kip Thorne was completely accurate.

“Like “a basketball on the rim,” which is a phrase we use! That’s completely accurate, so there’s no hole there at all,” he carried on in his interview, “Those

issues are all buttoned-up, and Kip has a book on the science of the film about what’s real, and what’s speculation—because much of it is, of course, speculation. There have been a bunch of knee-jerk tweets by people who’ve only seen the film once, but to really take on the science of the film, you’re going to need to sit down with the film for a bit and probably also read Kip’s book. I know where we cheated in the way you have to cheat in movies, and I’ve made Kip aware of those things.”

Given the circumstances, I suppose we can’t entirely blame Nolan for any of the faults in “Interstellar”. After all, it is only a movie, not everything’s gonna be entirely accurate. And there haven’t been any huge complaints in the past regarding scientific accuracy in beloved classics such as “Star Wars” or “Doctor Who”. So I don’t see any reason we should all focus on complaining about this.

Unless nitpicking is your thing and you have nothing better to do, I assume.

Christopher Nolan’s “Interstellar” was released in UK cinemas on November 4th and is still being viewed currently. If you’re up for an enjoyable sci-fi flick with visual wonder, check it out. I know I probably will.

PASS THE POPCORN (2014) ABOVE: Photograph of Christopher Nolan himself LEFT: Our hero Cooper (played by Matthew McConaughey) surveys the strange alien world he has arrived on

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One “shell” of a bad movie...

DIRECTOR: Jonathen Liebesman CAST: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Johnny Knoxville, Whoopi Goldberg CERTIFICATE: 12 RELEASE DATE (UK): 17th October 2014 TIME APPROX: 101 minutes PLOT: News reporter April O’Neil discovers a vigilante gang of mutant ninjutsu-fighting turtles and must help them protect New York City and defeat the evil Shredder.

Of course, April is correct and has to work with the turtles, their master Splinter (voiced by Tony Shalhoub) and her widecracking sidekick Vern Fenwick (played by Will Arnett) to stop the evil Shredder. Meanwhile Raphael has a tiny conflict with Leonardo’s leadership that they decide to make a huge plot point, despite it only being mentioned once or twice. Yeah, this plot hasn’t been rehashed in every Ninja Turtles reincarnation at all.

While the character of April O’Neil herself is done well in the film, seeing how she actually helps the turtles more than they help her and is actually the main one who defeats the Shredder, the same can’t be said for her acting. Megan Fox, you are nice to look at but you can’t act to save your life. Even when there’s an emotional moment, she’s in dire peril or she first lays eyes on the group of horrifying mutants, she looks as interested in what’s going on as Kirsten Stewart. She also doesn’t capture the passion, the determination or sassiness of the original April; it’s clear she’s only there to look hot. It’s like they read through her character bio and stopped when they saw a description that read “attractive”, screaming “That’s it! We need someone who’s smoking hot! Who cares if they can act or not? Just get someone to please the teenage boys!” Will Arnett, though I know he’s trying, is wasted talent in this film; he comes off more as an irritating moron bumbling over his words rather than humourous. I guess he used up all his funniness in The Lego Movie. Oh, and did I mention Whoopi Goldberg? No? Well that’s because she’s only in the film for under Who knew you could master ninjutsu just by reading a book you just five minutes and easily forgotten. happen to find in the sewers where there are no drains or grates it One of the only good human actors in the entire movie, in my opincould’ve fallen through? ion, is Tohoru Masamune as the villainous Shredder without his suit.

When he first appeared on screen and took down one of his Foot Clan Yes, people, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back on the members with his hands literally tied behind his back, he seemed big screen. I know what you’re thinking: “Again?!” But this time, genuinely intimidating. He even had a naturally low voice that didn’t there’s no costumes or animation; they’re entirely done in motion require any computer techniques to deepen to laughable levels. capture CGI. Before you ask, no, Michael Bay is the producer, not Even if he does seem to have difficulty deciding whether to speak in the director. The guy behind Wrath of the Titans is the one directEnglish or Japanese, he actually appears to be a decent choice. Until ing. Which doesn’t seem any better, now that I think about it. But is there anything we need to worry about with this film besides the he puts on the suit. nightmare-inducing redesign of the four reptilian vigilantes? Most Shredder’s suit in the original cartoon and the new 2012 series is definitely. indeed armored Japanese-style but showed off some layers of his skin, face and muscles to make him appear more of a threat and Sit back and enjoy, cos it’s gonna be one shell of a critique. create a frightening thought that a human could appear capable of such strength, power and brutality. Here, he’s just a hideous amalOur story centres on reporter April O’Neil (played by forevergam of Darth Vader and one of Michael Bay’s Transformers with way doomed-to-be-deprived-of-all-acting-talent Megan Fox) who gets too many Edward Scissorhand fingers thrown in for good measure. fired from her job when she claims to have encountered our four Instantly he becomes every other forgettable “unstoppable” armored heroes decimating members of the gun-wielding Foot Clan. Yeah, not much ninjutsu for a film based around heroes who use ninjutsu. villain you’ve seen and you can’t forget Shredder. And this coming

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from a guy who’s not a Ninja Turtles fan himself. They should have called and it truly showed their connection as brothers seeing how this him Discount Samurai Darth Wolverinetron could possibly be their last fight and they may as well have fun together one last time. And sadly it’s only thirty seconds long.

The other best actor is William Fichtner as Eric Sacks, wealthy scientist and the main villain to April. His performance is so deliciously hammy, The rest of the film is, to put it bluntly, a ‘turtle’ disaster. The you can’t help but burst out laughing whenever he delivers bad guy human actors are wasted talent, except for Megan Fox who lacks exposition or threatens our heroes, even saying their attempts to stop any, the story and the changes made to the characters are laughhim “makes me want to pinch your little cheeks. I’m pretty sure we’ve ably bad, and the humour resorts to desperate fart jokes and an found the long lost brother of Christopher Walken. Not to mention his uncomfortable crush subplot between Mikey and April when it oh-so-evil plan makes no sense; he’s a rich scientist and business man runs out of awkward conversations between the humans. And of who worked with April’s dad and obliviously created the turtles and course, the looks of the turtles and Master Splinter convey less Splinter when working on a formula. And he plans to extract the turtles’ “awesomeness” and instead convey the horror fantasies you’re blood to use as a cure for a disease he’s going to spread over the city going to have for the next five nights. But I’ll admit, it’s probably or something. That way, the city will buy the cure from him and he’ll not the worst adaptation in the franchise (that spot still goes to become rich. Even though he’s already rich enough to build Shredder’s Ninja Turtles 3). It hasn’t even desroyed the franchise. It’s just robo-suit. Yeah, I’m not sure you thought this through, Sacks. And please another addition to the long line of peoples’ different interprethink of a better “villainous” line than “we’ll extract every last ounce of tations of the original material, and I’m sure they’ll be more blood from their bodies... even if it kills them”. Seriously, who wrote that versions of it created in future like they did with Batman and idiotic piece of dialogue?

Transformers. And part of the fun, I suppose, is comparing them whether they’re good or bad.

Regarding the turtles and Splinter themselves, to make a long story short: they’re ugly. Everyone’s complained about it and their complaints If you’re looking for a film with decent graphics, radical action and are justified. Picture this: four earless versions of Shrek with Voldemort’s turtles, this is worth the ticket price. Or better yet. go watch the slit noses and pursed human lips. Tell me that doesn’t sound horrific to better, less creepy cartoon characters on TV. you. I understand they’re going for a slightly realistic feel (well, as realistic as you can get in a film about ninja-fighting turtles) and make them ½ look like actual mutated creatures. While it is realistic-looking, the good FINAL SCORE: effects of the CGI unfortunately bring out the true hideousness of them too well, especially in the uncomfortable closeup shots which would be enough to make any kid flee their cinema seats in terror. It just goes to show that sometimes adding realism to a cartoon doesn’t necessarily make it better.

I will admit though, I think it was a really clever idea to give them more personality in their appearance. With the old cartoon, it’s just the colour of the masks, so if they took them off, you would never tell the difference between them. But with Leonardo (voiced by Johnny Knoxville), he has samurai armour adorning his chest and shoulders. Donatello, being the smart guy, has science gear strapped to his shell with matching goggles. And taped nerd glasses, ugh. Michelangelo has a beaded necklace with sunglasses and surfer-dude tattoos decorating his arms.

Guess why that is. And Raphael, the brooder and the toughest, dons a red bandana with eyeholes rather than a mask like his brothers and is positively ripped. And of course, they do get some funny interactions and snarky one-liner battles with each other, including Mikey’s signature dated catchphrase.

Despite the movie’s clear ugliness, both in acting and visuals, there were two scenes I legitimately enjoyed. The first one included a fight scene (let’s face it, that’s all Michael Bay’s good at), however it was one I had never seen done before. It takes place on a snow-covered mountain with April and Vern slipping and sliding down in a truck with the turtles jumping out the trailer and taking on the Shredder’s pursuing military vehicles. Not only is it fast, intense and with the right amounts of silly humour and awesomeness, it’s also happening in a different location besides a panicking city; a battle location I’ve never seen before. And it’s all done incredibly well. Even if it does have some stupid moments such as no explanation as to how a bo staff can flip an entire car.

The second scene is in an awkward elevator setting with the turtles as they go up to the top of a building to battle the Shredder. They’re breathing aloud, preparing their weapons and waiting while the elevator’s bell dings rhythmically. The silence is finally broken by Mikey tapping his nunchucks together and creating a funny little rap while beatboxing. You’d think the turtles would scold him or smack him upside the head, given the way they’ve been treating him throughout the movie. But no, they join in one by one with their own weapons and get a song going, adding in their own beatboxing too. And as soon as they get to the top, they instantly stop and run out onto the roof with battle cries. Wonderful stuff. It was short but it was funny, silly but touching

ABOVE: The official poster for the film ABOVE LEFT: The turtles (L to R), Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello

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UPCOMING FILMS NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 3 (PG) - 98 minutes When the Tablet of Ahkmenrah begins to lose its power that makes the Natural History Museum artefacts come to life, Larry Daily and his friends must travel around the globe to the British Museum in order to restore the magic to the Tablet before it disappears forever.

STARRING: Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Ben Kingsley, Rebel Wilson, Dan Stevens, Ricky Gervais, Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan RELEASE DATE: 19th December 2014 PADDINGTON (PG) - 95 minutes A young bear decides to leave his home in Peru and travel all the way around the world to the city of London, England. Once he gets there, the kindly Brown family arrive at Paddington Station and find him in a basket with a simple note attached: “PLEASE LOOK AFTER THIS BEAR”.

STARRING: Ben Whishaw, Hugh Bonneville, Sailly Hawkins, Julie Walters, Nicole Kidman, Jim Broadbent and Peter Capaldi RELEASE DATE: 28th November 2014 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (12) - 144 minutes The thrilling conclusion to the Middle Earth saga and Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy, Bilbo Baggins and the dwarves of Erabor are all forced to engage in a great battle for rule over the Lonely Mountain and must prevent any of the rising evil forces from obtaining it.

STARRING: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Benedict Cumberbatch, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lily and Luke Evans RELEASE DATE: 14th December 2014 ANNIE (PG) - 118 minutes A little orphan girl Annie who lives with her nasty foster mother has her life changed when a New York business tycoon and mayor candidate named Will Stacks takes her in.

Will only sees himself as her guardian angel, though Annie sees it the other way around.

STARRING: Quvenzhané Wallis, Jamie Foxx, Rosie Byrne, Robbie Cannavale and Cameron Diaz RELEASE DATE: 20th December 2014

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WHY DO MEN ENJOY THIS SHOW? Before you ask, NO, I don’t mean that sissy insult to females everywhere from the 80s.

ing. Of course the bronies ignore them and explain their reasons for liking a girly-looking programme, but as we all know, trolls never listen. As far as they’re concerned, bronies I’m talking about the new show released should do more “normal” and “manly” things in 2010 created by Lauren Faust, who you like playing Call of Duty. Yes, because cursing might know for cartoons like The Powerendlessly, gunning people down, claiming puff Girls and Foster’s Home for Imaginary you’re better than everyone and screaming Friends. This show was aimed at a “for racist insults into a headset makes you cool. everyone” audience rather than the 1980s show’s female toddler audience who But why do these adults express love for a wouldn’t realise that the show they were cartoon like this? watching was nothing more than stereotypical moronic rubbish until they were Well there are a couple of different ways of older. While this show is indeed watched looking at it. The animation, for one thing, is by children, it also garnered an unexpect- much better than the colours of the gloomy ed following from grown men, ranging 80s show; it’s bright, vibrant and really nice from fifteen to their late forties. to look at. And unlike that-show-that-shallnot-be-named, the land isn’t made out of These fans of the show called themselves pwetty wainbows, marshmawwows, sweets “bronies”. and any other stereotypical girly things you can think of. It’s very much like our world: They have practically dedicated themtowns, villages, cities, mountains and forests selves to this show in many ways, ranging but with some fantastical places of course. from writing stories on FIMFiction to cre- The only difference: the people are instead ating fan videos to making music to doing ponies that are cuter than those four-legged artwork. Type in “pony” on DeviantArt, 1980s hellspawns. there’s over two million results. These bronies also discuss their favourite aspects Another reason? The tone. Unlike that-showand characters of the show on Tumblr that-shall-not-be-named where everything is blogs and forums. They’ve even created always happy sunshine and rainbows 24/7, conventions worldwide for just the fans, this show has some very dark and even including the most well-known BronyCon frightening moments, featuring life-threatenin America, as well as created fundraising ing situations and savage beasts like changeevents for Free The Children and even that lings, dragons, chimeras and hydras. Includsilly ice bucket challenge. There are even ing a scene in Season One where a usually bronies in the military. The crew behind bubbly character goes insane. And not the the show, including Lauren Faust herself, comedic kind of “insane”, I mean somethinghave responded to this phenomenon with that-literally-seems-like-it-was-taken-out-ofsurprise at first but dissolving in great a-psychological-horror-movie “insane”. Not appreciation and positivity. to mention the defeats of the villains where one gets turned to stone, another gets blown Bizarre, I know. up and another one literally gets sent to hell. Oh, and a Dragonball Z-style battle in As you might have guessed, thousands of the Season Four finale where mountains get people and internet trolls have responddestroyed, the sky is red with fire, buildings ed vehemently to this fandom, shouting explode in fiery infernos and the landscape “facts” and accusations of homosexuality, gets completely ravaged from huge mulpaedophilia, bestiality, terrorism (for some ti-coloured lasers shooting in all directions. reason) and even autism. Frankly the Sure sounds like a girly show, doesn’t it? fact that they have the audacity to take a serious medical condition and convert In some cases, bronies believe the show it into a petty insult just because some holds up so well because (get ready to people like a show is absolutely disgustsqueal, Star Trek fans) John de Lancie himself

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voices the devious Spirit of Chaos, Discord.

When thinking of a new villain for Season 2, they based his personality and appearance off Q from Star Trek. Then Lauren Faust suggested they actually get John himself to play the part.

He agreed, read the material, recorded it… and completely forgot about it three months later.

But he went onto his computer one morning and discovered he had received hundreds of emails from elated bronies, all stating their love of his wacky character. To this day, John has expressed his fascination for the fandom and supported it when he realised how important the show was to bronies. He was even appalled at how the media portrayed bronies so he sought to do it “the right way” by creating a documentary on the fanbase with a ridiculously long title. Check it out, it’s awesome.

What else do they like the show for? The music. The songs from that-show-that-shallnot-be-named were always twinkly cutesy little ditties that irritated the hell out of parents.

The songs here are actually good, not to mention addictive. Not only that, they use different styles including western, rock, pop, Vaudeville, a Capella, even a song you’d hear in a training montage from Rocky. A few of them sound like they were plucked straight out of a Tim Burton movie or Les Miserables. One of the best songs sounds so similar to Disney, like Hellfire for example, you’d never guess it was from My Little Pony if you listened to it without any footage.

Except for one line that mentions the word “pony” but still.

Why else do they adore it so much? For the humour. This show doesn’t have idiotic jokes that makes only toddlers brainlessly guffaw while adults plug their ears in agony. These jokes are funny. There are so many memorable and cynical one-liners that have spawned countless memes along with clever yet subtle references to things like Star Wars, Harry Potter and Transformers. There are even nods towards adult-related material such as Kill Bill, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Big Lebowski and James Bond. But the best humour undoubtedly comes from Pinkie Pie, the comic relief who’s practically Deadpool in a pony skin.

She easily has the most quotable lines, best randomness and funniest physics-breaking jokes. Just don’t question her.

How about the main characters themselves? Honestly I believe these are the best representations of female characters on television. The ponies from that-show-that-shallnot-be-named inevitably fell into the girly stereotype whereas these ponies are very relatable, three-dimensional, well developed and brilliantly written. They’re complicated, they have personalities and they break stereotypes. Best of all, they’re not wimpy, male-dependant, crying-over-the-tiniestthings females. In the show, they represent the Elements of Harmony which make up the characteristics of a true friend, but they are prone to not always following their Elements.

If they did, they’d just be another batch of boring Mary Sues with no flaws whatsoever.

This is especially justified since they were just six normal citizens of their hometown who suddenly had the responsibility of wielding the Elements thrust upon them, which shows they’re still adjusting to representing them fully. Best heroines ever.

However a very good reason, in my opinion, is that this show is an excellent method of escapism. Practically everyone goes through tough obstacles in their lives, whether it be family issues, stress, tiredness or that loathsome neighbour who always lets their dog take a dump in your garden. And watching this entertaining and adventurous cartoon is an excellent way of relieving themselves of those annoyances and forget the troubles inflicting the world currently. This especially helps, given the animated poison they air on TV nowadays like new SpongeBob episodes.

Seriously, why doesn’t that show just die already? In fact, some members of the fanbase claim this show has helped them overcome their alcohol or drug addictions and even

rethink their decisions about taking their own lives. Yes, it is that good.

But honestly, I think the best reason is because the show asks: “Are you really a great friend as you think?” Let’s face it: you’re not a perfect friend. Nobody is. And this show actually teaches some very mature lessons about true friendship, even ones that adults can barely grasp. When it comes to morals in cartoons, they’re very simple and straightforward like “learn to share” or “don’t eat with your mouth open”. In short: messages we already know. This cartoon, on the other hoof, takes on very complex and important life lessons, such as “you can always try your best and not necessarily succeed”. That’s such a hard lesson for anyone to learn, they don’t even teach it on children’s TV anymore. They even target very adult circumstances like xenophobia, colonialism, family conflicts, cults and bullying, in which the main characters often end up in situations they don’t always seem to have answers to, as opposed to very dry children’s messages where the problems are resolved easily and almost immediately.

And as you might have guessed up to this point: yes, I’m a brony and proud of it. Aww, sorry to disappoint, homophobes.

won’t shut up about the show they love and sometimes force their opinions down people’s throats. Oh, big shock, so does every fandom. So stop acting like it’s just the brony fandom that does this.

And if you have a problem with that, go ahead and insult me. Gay, loser, fag, I can assure you I’ve heard it all. And I don’t care.

The fandom’s growing all the time and it’s going to keep growing. I love this show, I honestly think it’s one of the best cartoons of the past decade and destined to become a classic. I’d rather people watch this than new SpongeBob or Family Guy episodes or many of the recent Cartoon Network shows; this one has so much more creativity, charm and intelligence put into it. And I’m never going to stop watching it and there’s nothing you can say or do that’ll make me.

But to those who are curious about this whole phenomenon, take the challenge I took: Don’t judge the whole show strictly from one episode. Go online. Marathon the entire series without stopping. Then decide your opinion.

P.S. Rarity is best pony

Yes, the show has some fans that are very protective of their views to the point where they come across as immature on the Internet. But so does every fandom. Yes, it has groups of fans who sexualise the characters in their artwork and on Rule34. Again, so does every fandom. (look up “Lola Bunny” on Google Images with the SafeSearch off, I dare you) And yes, it has fans who

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QUIZ - Think you know movies?

1: Which Australian actor posthumously won an Oscar in 2008?

2: This quote comes from which Academy Award-nominated actor? “I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house. And I sleep like a baby, you can count on that.”

3: As of November 2014, what is the highest-grossing animated film of all time?

4: TRUE OR FALSE? Benedict Cumberbatch did the voice for the dragon Smaug in “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” while a stunt double did the motion capture.

5: Which film poster has this tagline? “He knows no fear. He knows no danger. He knows nothing.”

6: Which African-American actor has appeared in five of Quentin Tarantino’s movies?

7: What is the name of the musical composer who has created scores for most of Steven Spielberg’s films?

8: What is Dustin Hoffman’s signature quote from The Graduate (1967)?

9: The Last Airbender, Lady in the Water and After Earth are all Razzie-nominated movies by which Hollywood director?

10: Dominic Torretto is the name of Vin Diesel’s character in what movie franchise?

ANSWERS: 1: Heath Ledger 2: Clint Eastwood 3: Frozen 4: FLASE. Cumberbatch did both the voice and motion capture 5: Johnny English 6: Samuel. L. Jackson 7: John Williams 8: “Mrs Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?”

9: M Night Shyamalan 10: The Fast and the Furious

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Sadly far from a masterpiece DIRECTOR: Gareth Edwards CAST: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Ken Watanabe, Sally Hawkins, Bryan Cranston CERTIFICATE: 12 RELEASE DATE (UK): 15th May 2014 TIME APPROX: 123 minutes PLOT: When two dormant monsters awaken and run rampant across the world, the US Government turns to the one solution they have to protecting the world from this threat: the King of the Monsters, Godzilla.

Most misleading title of the year.

Ever since Roland Emmerich’s monster-sized dump on the Godzilla franchise, there was never another theatrical remake of the king of the monsters for over a decade. It seemed virtually impossible to recreate him without screwing anything up all over again. That is, until “Monsters” director Gareth Edwards stepped up to the task of making the titular monster awesome again with his 2014 reimagining. But how does it hold up as a reboot? Is it the modern Godzilla all the crazed Kaiju fans were praying for? Or is it a repeat of 1998’s failure of an adaptation?

Let’s take a look.

The movie centres around Joe Brody (played by Walter White himself, Bryan Cranston) and his traumatic fifteen-year search for what caused a seismic tremor that killed his wife at a Japanese power plant, finally resulting in his discovery of the king of the monsters and its container Doctor “Sir Stares-a-lot” Serizawa (played by Ken Watanabe).

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Oh, my mistake, I was writing what I would have preferred to happen.

Even though he was in all the trailers and given the most focus, the writers instead kill off Joe, arguably the best character in all the trailers, in the first forty-five minutes. I guess that’s what happens when an actor has the word “and” in front of his name in the opening credits of a monster movie. And instead we get to focus on his uninteresting son Ford (played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and his equally boring family, including his wife who’s name escapes me (played by Elizabeth Olsen). Oh, what a delight. By the way, am I the only one who finds it kind of creepy that in this film, they’re husband and wife, and in Avengers 2, they’ll be siblings?

Surprise, surprise, it turns out the tremor years ago were created by a pair of manmade Cloverfield-style monsters called MUTOs, gathering radiation and looking for a place to mate, which (shocker) happens to be in a major city. Can’t these monsters ever be polite and kindly find a desert or something. The conclusion Serizawa comes to is, of course, another huge destructive monster to counter these two huge destructive monsters: Gojira, a Japanese name for a famous monster king so recognisable, it’s hard not to snigger whenever they say it onscreen.

Speaking of which, Godzilla is indeed freaking awesome. For one thing, unlike that other version we don’t speak of, he doesn’t have a box-shaped head, chicken legs, a skinny iguana body, Jay Leno-style chin, a flat nose or no atomic breath, as best described by Honest Trailers. This Godzilla looks much more like the 1954 original, only much bigger than any Godzilla reincarnation in history. And slightly fatter, I will admit. But would you really expect a mutated 600-feet lizard to look like Jess Ennis or something? Not to mention his trails of destruction and the casualties he unintentionally causes feel like a natural disaster, especially when he ends up drowning thousands of people in the city of Honalulu, Hawaii just from standing up in the ocean.

And that roar.

Sweet Jesus, that roar.

I could listen to it all day with my headphones on and never once get bored. I would play it as my wakeup alarm on my iPhone. The filmmakers definitely took the old-school screechy Godzilla roar (better known as “skreeonk” for some reason) and upped it to eleven. This beats the T-rex roar from Jurassic Park in terms of awesomeness; it’s loud, it’s terrifying, it made the cinema seats shake, and it sounds downright not human. A well-timed example comes at the beginning of the final battle between Godzilla and the monsters. No sound, a

single piano chord playing, a flash of lightning revealing his humungous silhouette, the King stepping through the mist, the barely audible sound of rumbling in the background, staring the MUTO down, then comes the roar.

And yes, Kaiju nerds, he does use his signature weapon in the final battle of the movie.

But if you’re in the mood for a film night involving giant monsters trying to mangle each other, put this film on, skip past the boring human parts and enjoy approximately fifteen minutes of adrenaline rush.

FINAL SCORE:

½

Speaking of piano chords, the dramatic build-up accompanied by the musical score and visual effects are all done to absolute perfection.

With all the other brilliantly-executed stuff in this movie, these additional elements certainly help boost its awesomeness through the roof. It is used especially well in a scene before the final battle where the military skydive from a plane above the clouds. The eerie 2001: A Space Odyssey music score only builds as the soldiers plummet through the dark clouds, the thunder rumbling as they fall further towards the destroyed flaming city, almost as if descending into hell itself. Oh, how it gives me wonderful pants feelings.

Okay, enough gushing, I know what you’re probably wondering: But there has to be some negatives besides the bland characters, right?

Well in a movie about a giant radiation-breathing lizard, it’s inevitable.

The main problem: not enough Godzilla.

That’s right, the title character is barely in this two-and-a-half hour movie for more than fifteen minutes. Even the MUTOs created specially for the film get more screentime than he does. I understand that the shark from Jaws wasn’t in the film for even ten minutes and neither was the T-Rex from Jurassic Park. Hell, even Godzilla wasn’t in the original 1954 film for longer than ten minutes either. But this is the first time we get to see the King of the Monsters brought to life in all his gorgeous CGI glory. But nope, the filmmakers instead decide to tease us with glimpses of it.

At the beginning of the film, the filmmakers always build up what the audience can tell is going to be a truly epic battle to the death between Godzilla and the MUTOs, only to immediately cut to the aftermath of the fight and instead show five seconds of it on a fake news broadcast. It then cuts straight to the military figuring out which directions the monsters are going rather than showing us the actual monsters. And when it does come down the final fight, it’s all shot in the dead of night and enveloped in smoke which makes it very hard to see. But they do indeed focus on the monsters... for less than thirty seconds before panning the camera towards a bunch of soldiers thinking of how to stop the monsters. Yes, because clearly we haven’t seen enough of that yet. They should’ve retitled this film “Boring Humans Following the Giant Monsters and Figuring out How to Stop the Giant Monsters (featuring Godzilla in the background)”.

ABOVE: The official poster for the film ABOVE LEFT: The monstrous Godzilla rises from the ocean

I think Jeremy Scott put it best: “This is what happens when you hire a guy famous for making a movie called “Monsters” that basically doesn’t have any monsters in it, only people”.

Do those problems destroy the film though? Fortunately not completely.

The atmosphere certainly gets my heart pounding, the visuals along with the music never fail to astound me, the effects on the monsters are incredible and every time Godzilla is onscreen, the film instantly becomes ten times better than it already is. What stops it from being great though is the very little screentime the title character has as well as the human characters themselves. They’re dull, tough to care about and get in the way of the awesome action I could be watching.

The only actor who gives an outstanding emotional performance in the entire film is Bryan Cranston, but his character is killed off leaving for his much-more-deserved spot as “main character” to be taken by an extremely stale protagonist.

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Sherlock: “A Study in Pink” As someone who’s got a load of catching up to do on “brilliant” TV programmes such as Avatar: The Last Airbender, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Sherlock and of course, The Walking Dead (buy your pitchforks and torches here: www.killtheblacksheep.co.uk), I’m finally jumping on the bandwagon. Well, multiple bandwagons.

While I haven’t read the original books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and I’m usually not a fan of thrillers, I began this catch-up marathon with the series with the least episodes. Though given how long they all are, they may as well be turned into another overly-long movie franchise. And thus my journey began with the renowned BBC series Sherlock and it’s very first episode: A Study in Pink.

Returning from Afghanistan, Doctor John Watson (played by Martin Freeman) arrives back in London and ends up being a roommate to the eccentric psychopath Sherlock Holmes (played by Benedict Cumberbatch). Oh, my apologies, I mean “high-functioning sociopath”. Against his will, Watson must help Sherlock get to the bottom of a series of supposed “serial suicides”.

Already being a sucker for any Benedict Cumberbatch-related, I absolutely adore his role as the title hero. He’s this egotistical but still very likeable character. He’s energetic, he’s snarky, he’s persistent, he’s a jerk sometimes but he still has a good heart. It’s all that stuff you love to see in a main protagonist. And on top of that, he’s smart as hell. This is one of those few TV programmes where I’ve admired how intelligent the main character is. From beginning to end, I actually felt jealous of how smart he was, being able to deduce Watson’s entire background from a mere glance. I wanted to have the ability to be as intelligent as him. Doctor Watson is also very likeable. He’s this brilliant opposite to Sherlock, being more polite, compassionate and caring than him but the two blend together perfectly, making for many memorable and funny interactions between them both.

Though what really impresses me the most about this episode is the atmosphere it creates. The lighting, the camera angles, the tension, the acting that accompanies it, it’s all done to complete perfection. The best scenes come near the end of the episode when Sherlock, without giving away too much, is being antagonised into making an extremely difficult decision to make and yet remains calm and collected the whole time. And the music slowly building in the background certainly helps make it even better.

The very first episode and already I’m extremely excited for the next one. And the rest. I’d say go check it out, but screw it, I’m sure you have already. Can’t say I blame you though.

FINAL SCORE: ABOVE: Sherlock, Watson and Phillip Anderson (Jonathan Aris) gaze upon the victim’s body

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TOP ELEVEN VOICE ACTORS RUNNERS-UP: Tom Kenny (SpongeBob SquarePants), Fred Tatasciore (Transformers: War for Cybertron), Nolan North (Deadpool), Patrick Warburton (The Emperor’s New Groove), and Clancy Brown (Superman: The Animated Series)

NUMBER 11: Hank Azaria • Dubbed “the freakish mimic” by his friends due to his ability to copy nearly anyone’s voice just after hearing it for the first time • Found an outlet for his skills in doing voices for The Simpsons (Chief Wiggum, Snake, Professor Frink, Cletus, Moe, Apu, Bumblebee Man, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick, etc) • Professor Frink originally meant to be an evil scientist-type character until Hank did an improv of Jerry Lewis from The Nutty Professor

NUMBER 10: Kevin Michael Richardson • Has a booming god-like voice • Can alternate his voice between big menacing villains (Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Trigon from Teen Titans) and gentle giants (Bulkhead from Transformers: Prime) • Also does high-pitched goofy voices (Joker from The Batman and Emperor Milleous from Ben 10: Alien Force)

NUMBER 9: Dee Bradley Baker • Does amusing impressions of various accents (Klaus from American Dad and Numbah Four from Codename: Kids Next Door) • Can do characters with different pitches to match their personalities (nearly every alien in Ben 10: Alien Force, various townsfolk in SpongeBob SquarePants, and Ra’s al Ghul in Batman: Arkham City) • Does very convincing imitations of alien or animal sounds (The Boxtrolls, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Ben 10)

NUMBER 8: Mark Hamill Voices the Clown Prince of Crime himself, the Joker (Batman: The Animated Series, Batman: Arkham Asylum/City, and Batman Beyond) • His Joker voice is a perfect balance between kooky and sadistic • Incredibly fun to listen to You would never guess it was Luke Skywalker himself voicing one of the greatest villains of all time • Also does other convincing villain voices (Ozai from Avatar: The Last Airbender) •

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NUMBER 7: Rob Paulsen • Very entertaining to listen to • Voices various high-pitched characters (the deadpan-snarker Yakko and stressed German psychiatrist Dr. Scratchensniff from Animaniacs, along with the cluelessly likeable Pinky from Pinky and the Brain) • Sung a whole song as Yakko about all the countries in the world in under two minutes • Speaks or sings tongue-twisting phrases at fast paces (Animaniacs)

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NUMBER 6: John DiMaggio • Has the “macho” voice of a stereotypical biker gang leader • Can alternate his voice between aggressive (Rath from Ben 10: Alien Force), evil (Dr. Drakken from Kim Possible), insane (Joker from Batman: Under the Red Hood), or just plain cynical (Bender from Futurama) • Makes his voice high-pitched and kooky to do the Joker • Created his Bender voice by combining impressions of Slim Pickens, a drunk you’d find in a north-eastern bar, and a friend of his from Jersey NUMBER 5: John de Lancie • Originally Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation • Voice of the villain Discord in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic • Enjoyably over-the-top like Vincent Price (Ratigan from Basil the Great Mouse Detective) or Tim Curry (Hexxus from Ferngully) • Voice has a great mixture between intimidating, the “smug snake” or hilariously hammy

NUMBER 4: Steve Blum • Has a badass baritone when speaking in his normal voice • Uses his baritone for protagonists or calm villains (Heatblast from Ben 10, Wolverine from Wolverine and the X-Men and Amon from Legend of Korra) • Uses a creepy “back-of-the-throat” voice for a majority of villains he voices, rather than your typical deep voice (Starscream from Transformers: Prime, Vilgax and Ghostfreak from Ben 10, and Killer Croc from Batman: Arkham Asylum) • Won a Guinness World Record for most prolific video game actor

NUMBER 3: Peter Cullen • Voices Optimus Prime from Transformers and Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh • His Optimus Prime voice is kind, warm, compassionate, wise, authoritative, epic and strong, rivaling even Morgan Freeman’s • Can almost be pictured as the voice of God • He didn’t just voice Optimus Prime; he is Optimus Prime

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NUMBER 2: Mel Blanc • Nicknamed “The Man of 1000 Voices” • Literally voiced all the male Looney Tunes • Seen as one of the most influential actors in the voice acting industry Had unusually thick and powerful vocal cords that gave him great range, rivaling those of opera singer Enrico Caruso • His death was a huge loss to the cartoon industry

NUMBER 1: Frank Welker • Beats Mel Blanc by having done over 1000 voices (Fred from Scooby Doo, Doctor Claw from Inspector Gadget, Nibbler from Futurama, Runt and Plotz from Animaniacs etc) • The most successful Hollywood actor in the world • May be old but can make his voice deep and menacing without the use of computers (Megatron and Soundwave from Transformers) • Has done hundreds of animal vocals in movies and cartoons (Abu from Aladdin, Azrael from The Smurfs, Snowball from The Simpsons, etc)

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Is scaring our kids okay to do?

We’ve all grown up watching kid’s films, whether it’s Disney, Don Bluth, DreamWorks or any other beloved company that comes to mind. And we all enjoyed them; they were entertaining, they were visually pretty and they always opened up new doors for thrills and adventure. But then there were always those one or two moments from any children’s film (mostly Disney) that never failed to scare the living bejesus out of you. You name it, Gmork from The Neverending Story, Judge Doom’s reveal from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the shark from Finding Nemo, these still frighten me to this day.

Even the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang terrified my mum when she was young. Most kids get freaked out by stuff like this in films, but for others, they’re plain traumatised to the point of never wanting to watch that part again.

This begs the question: should we frighten our children with these kind of moments?

According to Paige Furzer, 19, “It’s alright as long as it’s a U rating and as long as parents make their kids aware that there are scary things in the film.”

It’s no secret that most parents want children’s films to either be educational or entertaining for the young ones, such as adaptations of fairy tales like The Little Mermaid or Sleeping Beauty. But thinking back to the original tales, they’re not free of any claims of also being screwed up. In a twisted way, stories like Hansel and Gretel or Little Red Riding Hood got across their lessons of not trusting strangers and stuff like that in the old “scare your kid into understanding” method. But the funny thing is that the scary scenes in these movies usually aren’t there to teach any messages to children; they’re sometimes just there to emphasise the threatening nature of the villain or how scary the world can be. Sometimes they’re not even needed, much like that freaky tunnel scene from Willy Wonka. I still don’t understand the purpose of that fright-fest.

But a majority of these movies go out of their way to make sure you don’t forget these fearsome moments even if they don’t teach anything or if they’re in an otherwise upbeat and joyful flick.

So why do it?

The first time I saw the infamous pink elephant parade from Dumbo, I was of course scared out of my wits and covered my eyes for the rest of that scene. And for good reason; it came out of nowhere, had tons of freaky imagery and the ominous instrumentals accompanying it certainly didn’t help. This was the same experience I had with the spooky forest from Snow White with “the branches that reached out to snatch her” or “the sinister eyes in the darkness”, as best described by Roger Ebert. But I wasn’t scarred for life; in fact, I always kept coming back to these scenes. I both feared and anticipated the horrors to come yet I never turned

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off the television or looked away. So now I ask “why did I like these moments?”

One thing I thought of was that these scenes always gave me a rush of adrenaline. Children, as we all know, like being excited by certain things; they all need energy and fun injected into their lives as they grow up. This explains why they test their imagination on creating imaginary adventures to endure and threats to battle against like pirates, supervillains and dragons. It’s exciting, fun and a delight all at once; in short, all part of being a child. And experiencing these sorts of thrilling moments is no exception.

This then brought me to my second point: I felt hope. We’re always used to seeing our favourite movie heroes in some sort of danger, such as being chased, battling a villain or encountering certain dangers in their travels. And the more terrifying the threat is, the more relieved you’ll feel when the happy ending finally comes. This sort of thing, I noticed when I was growing up, was popular in a lot of Don Bluth’s films like The Land Before Time. There is a rumour that he always believed it was alright to put scary moments in a children’s film as long as there was a happy ending. And I can see some truth in that, rumour or not. After all the torment, pain and sadness the characters have gone through, from tyrannosaurus confrontations to life-threatening earthquakes to Littlefoot’s mother sacrificing herself, doesn’t it feel so good when they finally reach the Great Valley and joyfully reunite with their families? Having scary moments in a kid’s movie can work as long as it is properly

balanced out with the happy moments. Coraline, for example, has its share of frightening imagery and unsettling themes, but there are equal amounts of upbeat scenes, funny dialogue and creative whimsical sets to accompany it. This is the same case with Toy Story 3; there are laughs and visual wonder, but as film critic Christopher Tookey points out “…there are moments of terror so intense that very small children may find this a tougher experience than they, or their parents, might expect.”

just choose to keep all the scary things away from their young, they’ll grow up not understanding all their emotions or how the world works. And when there comes a time when they finally experience something scary when they grow older, they won’t know how to deal with it.

With all that in mind, little frightening scenes added into a kid’s movie or cartoon once in a while are acceptable. As long as they’re done right and equally balanced out, they show children while there are And that leads to the final thing I felt with these moments: wanting scary things out there in the world, there are plenty of good things to be challenged. It’s fine to have bright and upbeat stuff shown too. to children like Dora the Explorer and The Tweenies. Parents want So I say go ahead; there’s absolutely no harm in scaring your kids stiff. their kids to learn and grow up happily, fair enough. But when something in a movie or cartoon shows up that seems different It’s all part of the journey. and even a bit threatening, it makes the child fascinated. It makes them wonder why films like An American Tail aren’t speaking to them the same way Thomas the Tank Engine does. And that’s ABOVE: The Headless Horseman from Disney’s “The Legend when it becomes clear that kids, whether they realise it or not, actually want something different and stimulating. These moments of Sleepy Hollow” cackles wickedly challenge them with feelings they’ve never experienced before, teaching them that’s there’s nothing wrong with being afraid. It’s just a normal, educational and healthy part of life.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that every child should watch something as intense as ParaNorman, it all depends on their taste.

It’s like a theme park ride, they know which one they want to go on and which one’s look doesn’t appeal to them. But if parents

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