The Paper
Women Warriors Cont. from Page 1 Her early marksmanship quickly became legendary, as she was able to ‘take out’ key enemy personnel over, seemingly, impossible distances.
After proving her skills by taking out two enemy Romanian collaborators from a Soviet-defended hill far in the distance, Pavlichenko was quickly enrolled into the Red Army’s 25th Rifle Division as a bona fide sniper. She became one of the 2,484 Soviet female snipers to serve with the Allied Forces in World War II, of which only 500 survived the war.
She had an impeccable ‘kill’ rate which covered, ostensibly, impossible distances, with her deadly modified Russian-made 7.62x54mmR rifle, loaded with the same calibre bullets found in machine guns of that era. The bullets she shot had a velocity (speed) of 3,000 feet (per second), or nearly 2,000 mph! Impossible to detect under camouflage that made her virtually invisible within her surroundings, she was ferociouslyarmed by carrying a combat load of 120 armour-piercing-incendiary (B32) bullets into the combat field. Known far-and-wide from her ominous sobriquet as “Lady Death,” she caught the attention of Nazi elite personnel, all the way up to the Fuhrer himself, Adolf Hitler, all of whom wanted her to join
Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy!
Women over 50!
In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what the late Andy Rooney thought about women over 50.
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
"As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night & ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She goes and does something she wants to do, & it's usually more interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of
Page 2 • May 26, 2022
their side.
With the official approval from Adolf Hitler, the German Army attempted to bribe her, sending messages over radio loudspeakers stating: “Lyudmila Pavlichenko, come over to us. We will give you plenty of chocolates and make you a German officer.” She ignored their offers.
Her ‘kill’ rate continued to reach new heights, even when facing-off against expert (male) snipers who were all sent to stop her. For about two and a half months, Pavlichenko fought on the frontline during the Siege of Odessa, which was invaded by the Axis powers. While at Odessa, she recorded 187 ‘important high-ranking officer’ kills, and received a promotion to Senior Sergeant.
Later, Pavlichenko and her unit withdrew to Sevastopol to defend the city.
There, Pavlichenko fought in the siege of Sevastopol for eight months, where intense fighting resulted in heavy Soviet casualties. It was in Sevastopol, that her kill count rose even higher. By May of 1942, Lady Death recorded almost 260 critically-important sniper ‘kills’ of key enemy ground personnel, which garnered her another promotion, this time to Lieutenant Pavlichenko.
The higher the number of Pavlichenko’s confirmed kills rose, the more dangerous her mission assign-
an expensive restaurant . Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'
Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. •••• There is finally conclusive evidence that Osama bin Laden and Muammar
ments became. This included countersniping, or engaging in duels with other expert male enemy snipers.
Pavlichenko won every duel she fought, including one duel that lasted three days against the finest, most decorated male snipers that the enemy gathered against her. In the end, Pavlichenko stated that the enemy made “one move too many,” and they became further ‘notches’ – as she added 36 enemy snipers that she took down. She was the stuff of legend and lore -all this, while she was still a young girl in her 20s.
Near the end of her time on the front line, the German bribes finally became threats. One German message stated: “If we catch you, we will tear you into 309 pieces and scatter them to the winds!”
Hearing this threat, Pavlichenko said she was only too happy to hear that even the enemy accurately knew of her most ferocious sniper-killing record. Upon her return to the Soviet Union, Pavlichenko was promoted to Major and given the title “Hero of the Soviet Union,” the country’s highest military distinction. She also received the Order of Lenin twice, the country’s highest civilian designation.
The Soviet Union removed her from battle as they deemed her too valuable to risk losing.
Gaddafi are dead.
Yesterday, they both registered to vote in Chicago. •••• A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO Chicago WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
At the age of 25, she had already been wounded in battle four times.
When she made tours in Europe, Canada, and the United States to garner support for the war effort, thousands of Americans gathered to see a living legend in a woman’s uniform at such a young age – she was barely 26years-old!
Pavlichenko never returned to combat, but instead trained other Soviet snipers until the war’s end in 1945. She went on to complete her studies at Kiev University in present-day Ukraine (her birthplace) and became a historian. Unfortunately, as with many soldiers, Pavlichenko suffered from many years of clinical Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and depression.
On 10 October 1974, Lyudmila Pavlichenko passed away after suffering from a stroke at the age of only 54.
Two commemorative Soviet postage stamps were printed in her honour, one in 1943 following her battle career, and the second in 1976 following her death.
In her time, she boldly and openly criticised the Soviet Union and spoke of racial segregation within the Red Army and lack of gender equality – today, she most certainly would have demonized and vilified present-day Vladimir Putin for his vulgar, murder-
Women Warriors Cont. on Page 3
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS; I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. "I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO CHICAGO ". •••• A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with lightning. The mother of the little girl felt con-
Chuckles Cont. on Page 11
