The Paper
Punnery Cont. from Page 3
Among Groucho’s renowned oneliners are “Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana,” “While in Africa, one morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know,” “Why, I’d horse whip you if I had a horse,” “If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower” and “Women should be obscene and not heard.” Puns and malaprops thrive in the same neighborhood, such as the comic pointing out that a colleague’s memory lapse was probably caused by too much Milk of Amnesia. And there’s the press agent who claimed all they had when they began making the epic Biblical movie, “Ben Hur” was “faith, hope and chariots.” One easy one I remember from youngster days goes like this, “Can February March? No, but April May.” That hauled into mind the old schoolyard throwaway, “My picture wound up in jail, but it was framed.” And the chuckles about the cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control her pupils.
Included among the list of don’ts in my life is to never talk about infinity because the conversation could go on forever. I also got to thinking a few years ago that it must be confusing to be a young ant because even their uncles are ants.
As we were growing up, my sister applied for a job at the post office but they wouldn’t letter because they said only mails worked there. She got a job at a calendar factory but that didn’t last long because they fired her after she took a day off. My brother wanted to buy a boat so I told him to look under the For Sail section in the classified ads.
There was the time I ran into my friend and, when I visited him in the hospital, he asked me why I didn’t miss him. He said he was sleeping like a log so I told him he’d have to start looking for a fireplace. He also had a wife who had a photographic memory. The problem was, she never developed it.
It was after a trip to Australia (honest!) that I got some mileage out of telling people I had trouble remembering how to throw a boomerang but it usually came back to me. I’ve always thought that becoming a vegetarian would be a big misteak. And there are health nuts trying to ground me because I drink coffee.
As I get older, I avoid funerals because they all start at or about 9 a.m. and I’m not a mourning person.
Punnery Continued on Page 11
Page 10 • • June 9, 2022
Problem Solved Cont. from Page 7
I contacted TJ Maxx on your behalf. It checked your return and verified that it was the correct Gucci bag. It also agreed to refund your purchase but said you had to drop your PayPal dispute first. Once you did, you received a refund of $1,162.
team of volunteers. Read more about our successes in our recent Annual Report. Help us raise funds to continue this legacy! Become a Matching Donor
The Foundation needs support from sponsors and corporations to help reach a matching goal amount of $5,000. We have several donors who have already committed, including the Foundation’s board members. Please help us increase the impact of this campaign by committing your gift by June 30, 2022.
Christopher Elliott is the chief advocacy officer for Elliott Advocacy. Email him at chris@elliott.org or get help with any consumer problem by contacting him at http://www.elliott.org/help Matching donors will have their logo appear in the direct mail letter, © 2022 Christopher Elliott. on the Foundation’s website, in email marketing and through several social media posts.
Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 9
Now, after six years of serving seniors in North County through the resource center, we hope to create even more tremendous opportunities to serve our clientele. If you are San Diego Iranian Cultural Center. moved to donate, please know how We deeply appreciate the support grateful we are to have your supby Dr. Brunst Foundation, mem- port. bers, and those who continue to Please visit our fundraising page at support cultural programming. www.thefoundationforseniorwellIf you have not purchased your tick- being.org/donate and make a gift et please do so now. This event is a that will be matched today. fundraiser and 100% of proceeds will go toward arts programing in Thank you for your consideration, our community. Thank you and we The Foundation for Senior look forward to greeting you in per- Wellbeing PO Box 1896 son again. Sn Marcos, CA 92079 Please note that all Covid related safety measures will be taken to 760-891-8176 keep you safe and healthy. 2022 Encinitas Friends of the Arts Go to EncinitasArts.org for more information. 1150 Garden View Rd Encinitas, CA 92024
San Marcos Chamber of Commerce Events for June: San Marcos Farmers Market 251 N City Dr, San Marcos, CA
EVERY TUESDAY 3:00 - 7:00 PM Features fresh local produce, bread and baked goods, cheese, eggs, yogurt, bone broth and scratch made soups, tamales, fresh flowers, Kombucha, prepackaged foods, delicious hot foods, artisans, crafters, and live music. Questions? Please contact the San Marcos Chamber of Commerce, 760-744-1270.
Foundation for Senior Wellbeing seeks sponsors and Donors: We are so grateful that you have shown past support for The Foundation for Senior Wellbeing and we hope you will consider contributing again in honor of the 6th anniversary of the Information Resource Center.
Like many of you, The Foundation is continuing to adapt to the "new normal" with this pandemic. During the past two years, we have continued to serve clients by phone and email through the Information Resource Center. We've also expanded new programs such as Coffee Connection and Friendship Tree that work to connect isolated seniors with aging experts or our
Pet Parade
This handsome guy is Henny! He's quite the love bug who enjoys cuddling with his favorite humans. As much as he enjoys lounging around on the couch, Henny also loves to stay active. He needs lots of exercise and ongoing positive reinforcement training. He would do best in a quiet home with a small household size and a family who loves adventure as much as he does! Henny is available for adoption at San Diego Humane Society’s Escondido Campus at 3500 Burnet Drive. To learn more about making him part of your family, please visit sdhumane.org/adopt or call 619-2997012. Online profile: https://www.sdhumane.org/adopt/available-pets/animal-single.html?petId=759043
http://www.thefoundationforseniorwellbeing.org
The Rancho Bernardo Republican Women Federated invites all Republican women to our next luncheon/meeting on Friday June 17th, 11:00 am - 1:45 pm at the Bernardo Heights Country Club, 16066 Bernardo Heights Pkwy, San Diego 92128. Cost is $30.00 for a two course lunch. Our Guest speaker will be State Senator Brian Jones. Senator Jones will discuss legislative measures he has authored and supported. He also just completed a project with the Warrior foundation Freedom Station to provide disabled parking for the residents and their families. The Senator recently launched a "Are you kidding me" (AYKM) video series on providing thought-provoking ideas and questioning government actions and decisions that sometimes just don't make sense. Register and RSVP by Friday June 10th to rbrwf.org. Hope to see you all there and enjoy an delicious lunch.
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(760) 747-7119 Pet Parade
Nagini is pet of the week at your Rancho Coastal Humane S o c i e t y. He’s a 3year-old, 91/2-pound, m a l e , Domestic Short Hair cat with a Buff and White Tabby coat.
Nagini rubs against people to get attention. He gets along with other cats and would be fine living with kids. He was transferred to Rancho Coastal Humane Society from a shelter in Riverside County through the FOCAS (Friends of County Animal Shelters) program. The $100 adoption fee for Nagini includes medical exam, neuter, up to date vaccinations, and registered microchip. For information about adoption or to become a Virtual Foster visit Rancho Coastal Humane Society at 389 Requeza Street in Encinitas, call 760-7536413, or log on to www.SDpets.org. Open 11 to 4 Friday through Monday, and Wednesday and Thursday by appointment.
