The Paper 08-30-18

Page 1

August 30, 2018

August 30, 2018

Volume 48 - No. 35

By Mark Carlson

My wife calls me a ‘work in progress.’

While I have a sense of humor, that term is just a bit demeaning. It’s as though she were a master artist with a painting that just doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. But all great works of art have to go through some changes and revision before they make it to the Louvre or end up on a t-shirt. I understand that Leonardo da Vinci’s original Mona Lisa’s smile showed the gap between her front teeth. And The The Paper Paper -- 760.747.7119 760.747.7119

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Michelangelo apparently showed Adam with sunglasses in the first rendering on the Sistine Chapel. But the Pope didn’t go for it.

Back in 1995 when my wife said “I do,” she only had a hazy inkling of what she was taking on. But like a dedicated sculptor working with a block of marble, my wife has been trying, with little apparent success, to make me perfect. She seemed to see me as a ‘David’ with Dockers and Izod shirts. She has managed to smooth out some of my rough edges. After

more than two decades of training I can now hang up the bath towels and even make the bed. For most of my pre-married life I didn’t even know that towel racks existed. That's what the floor was for; right next to all my dirty clothes. When I was a carefree bachelor, I was the same kind of guy who thought that flushing a toilet counted as cleaning it. I consider myself an enlightened husband of the 21st Century. By that I mean I don’t take my role as the supposed ‘head of the household’ too seriously. I actually help my wife around the house. In addi-

tion to the usual chores of taking out the garbage and fixing whatever needs repairing, I often do the housework and cleaning.

Now, before you male readers start foaming at the mouth hear me out. My wife does an awful lot that has traditionally fallen under the aegis of the husband. She does the driving, shopping, cooking, laundry, some of the cleaning and all the bills. This is because I am blind, so some of these jobs are a bit beyond me. When she brings home the groceries, I put them away. When she cooks dinner I do the dishes.

How NOT to Train your Husband - See Page 2


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