The Paper
Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy! Golf Cart Accident
While driving home in my golf cart, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused, I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with a cleavage to die for.
"I'm okay I think." I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look. She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
That’s nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly." Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive.
Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this.
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now. "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?" "My guess is that she's still in the ditch." •••• Science is working on the wrong thing. I don't want to live to 150. I want to be 40 for 30 years. •••• Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
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house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. •••• So many people these days are so judgmental.
I can tell just by looking at them. •••• One moment you’re young and fun. The next moment you’re turning down the stereo in your car so you can see better. •••• Minister says to the groom, “You’re supposed to say ‘I do,’ not ‘I’ll try.’ •••• A friend suggested I put manure on my strawberries. I’m not doing that again. I’m going back to whipped cream. •••• Next time you’re feeling down remember that life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, excercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet everyday he complains about how much he hates prison. •••• When I find it I don’t need it. When I need it I can’t find it. •••• My neighbors complaint about me groaning too loud having sex in the morning. If they only knew I was just trying to put my socks on.
Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 3 All levels welcome!
Paws For Reading - Wednesday, September 15, 4:00pm-5:00pm; ages 5-12. Read aloud to certified Love on a Leash pet therapy dogs for fun or to help improve reading skills. Registration is not required.
Rhymes & Reading - Mondays, September 13 & 27, 10:3011:00am; ages 4-5. Join Mrs. Cox for stories and activities to help your preschoolers prepare for kindergarten. Arrive early for a spot!
Teens Go to the Movies: Cruella. Saturday, Septemver 18, 11:00am1:30pm; ages 13-18. Haul yourself out of bed, throw on some sweats and head to the Library for a movie screening. Keep yourself awake with tasty treats, frothy beverages and friends! Disney’s Cruella follows the early days of one of cinema’s most notorious—and notoriously fashionable—villians. During the 1970s London punk rock revolution, a young grifter transforms herself into the raucous, revengebent Cruella de Vil. TeenTasticFunTime: Wednesday, September 29, 4:00-6:00pm; ages 12-17. TeenTasticFunTime is a monthly event for teens to get together and have fun. Each event features an escape room game, a craft project, tasty treats and a giveaway.
The Pastor Says...
passion to those who are the tax collectors, adulterers, and sinners, while he bears down harshly on those who are the pious, judgmental, and self-righteous. The difference is the awareness of the sinner, while the religious groups don’t admit that they, too, are sinners in need of forgiveness.
Pastor Richard Huls (Retired) THE SEASON FOR FORGIVENESS
The Bible says, “There is a season for everything under heaven.” In the Paper issue of August 12, 2021, there was an article, “Fired for comments made as a child.” I commend Frederick Gomez for sharing it. It is especially appropriate in an age of judgment, self-righteousness, condemnation, hypocrisy, and faultfinding. This age seems to be the season for this behavior. When did all of this start? It is not new to our age. Much of Jesus’ ministry in the first century dealt with the selfrighteous fault-finding religious leaders. He confronts those who would condemn the woman caught in the act of adultery with, “He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.” He shows mercy and com-
Pet Parade
Archie was neutered when he came to us. While in our care, he has been vaccinated and microchipped and received medical care. Why this pet is the one for you: Archie is a staff and volunteer favorite. His sweet, charming personality always shines and everyone is his friend.
He loves sitting in laps and being pet and isn't shy about letting you know that. Archie will need special care in his new home. He is diabetic and will need insulin and prescription diet to help support stable blood sugars. If you'd like to meet this super nice boy, please stop by San Diego Humane S o c i e t y ’s Escondido campus and say hello!
Archie is available for adoption at San Diego Humane Society’s Escondido Campus at 3500 Burnet Drive. To learn more about making him part of your family, please visit sdhumane.org/adopt
Why is there such a self-righteous movement today in politics, churches, and society? Perhaps it is because it is easier to see the faults of others and not our own. The way out of this dilemma is to admit our own (sins) and seek forgiveness. When that is done, and only when it is done, we can rise above the need to resurrect the faults of others from yesteryear and more recently, even today. Indeed, what value is it to parade the wrongs of others and deny our own? While not all who read the Paper are Bible believing followers, there is wisdom in the prayer of Jesus, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” It is always in season. Pastor Huls
You are always encouraged to dial 760-746-6611 for inspiration and encouragement.
Pet Parade
Xara is pet of the week at your Rancho Coastal Humane Society. She’s a 5-yearold, 9-1/2-pound, female, Domestic Long Hair cat with a Black and White coat. Her name means “Princess.”
She was transferred to Rancho Coastal Humane Society through the FOCAS program, then adopted five years ago. Now her owner moved to go to college, leaving Xara with her family. Xara was too active for them, so they brought her back to find her a new home. She’s affectionate but doesn’t care to be picked up. The $100 adoption fee for Xara includes medical exam, spay, up to date vaccinations, and registered microchip. For information about Adoption or to become a Virtual Foster log on to www.SDpets.org.
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2021-9019053
The name of the business: 626 Equipment Rentals; Six
to Six Equipment Rentals, located at 175 Via Vera Cruz, San Marcos, CA. 92078 Registrant Information: Six to Six, Inc.
175 Via Vera Cruz.
San Marcos, Ca. 92078
This business is operated by a corporation. First day of business 9/22/1986. /s/ Jay Cummins, President Filed
with
Ernest
J.
Dronenburg
Jr.,
Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 8/26/2021 9/2, 9/9, 9/16 & 9/23/21
County
