The Paper - November 6 2014

Page 1

Volume 44 - No. 43

November 6, 2014

Editor’s Note: The election is over. It’s time to put any animosity aside, have a cup of tea, or other libation, sit down together and have some fun.

My good friend, Kent Ballard, has been away from his computer for awhile. But, once again his marvelous writing emerges as he determines to have some fun with me, his pal. I thought. Warning: Do NOT take everything Kent says or writes as gospel. Strange as it may seem he actually makes some of this stuff up out of his often demented mind. Yes, I became the butt of some of his imagination but since we’re trying to get over the election and enjoy some whimsical things for a change, I will submit to being made sport of and you are invited to jump in, fasten your seat belt and enjoy the wild ride of reading another story by Kent Ballard: ••••• You knew lyle e davis was a combat correspondent in Viet Nam, didn't you? Well, he got the Armed Forces Journalists "Bronze

Pen" award for taking out a Viet Cong antiaircraft gun. He doesn't talk much about it, and with good reason. But I know the straight dope.

Late North County Election Returns - as of 10:30 PM Tuesday All percentages are approximate and incomplete: Escondido Mayor Council District 2 Prop E

Prop G Prop H

Palomar Health Trustees

Sam Abed Olga Diaz Council District 1 Ed Gallo Consuelo Martinez John Masson Rick Paul Yes No Yes No Yes No

Dara Czerwonka Hans Christian Sison Jerry Kaufman Ray Mccune Dale Bardin

Vallecitos Water District Distrtict 3 Mike Sanella District 1 Elitharp Vista Mayor Judy Ritter Vista Council John J. Aguilera Dave Cowles

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63% Projected winner 31%

60% 40% 53% 22% 56% 44% 37% 63% 39% 61%

Projected winner Projected winner

Projected to pass Projected to lose Projected to lose

9% Too close to call 8.75 8.7 8.63 8.52

52% (too close to call) 56% (apparent winner) 65% (Projected winner) 27.44 (too close to call) 23.25 (too close to call)

He woke up one morning while being carried over the shoulder of a huge MP who unceremoniously dropped him onto the floor deck of a Huey. They'd found Lyle passed out again on the steps of Mrs. Li Kao Pong's "YouDrinkee-Here-Meet-NiceGirls" bamboo saloon and were tired of his antics on their base. So they tossed him in the Huey simply to get rid of him as it was headed for Da Nang, 140 miles away. He came around while hanging upside down over the MPs shoulder and asked for another drink. Noticing the earth was moving and he was not being propelled by his own legs, Lyle politely asked, "Who the hell are you and where am

I going?" The MP said, "They're gonna fly you to the Hill 441 firebase. LBJ's there and he wants to meet you."

Well, Lyle perked right up! The President? Lyndon Johnson wants to meet me? What an honor! Not that I don't deserve it, of course! Lyle rolled around on the deck of the Huey and finally arrived at a sitting position. He took out his comb and ran it through his bug-infested hair, wiped some of the crusted NuocMam sauce from his face and brightly colored Hawaiian shirt, and vomited over the side of the deck. Feeling somewhat better now, he reached for his canteen to rinse his mouth and found he had

A Fantasy Ride with Kent Continued on Page 2


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