FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 450 20th October 2017
ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES
FREE
EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008
the original and best!
GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM
Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport
www.gokarthuahin.com info@gokarthuahin.com
Victor’s
open 24/7
Wide range of rooms in the heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin
P A N AMA BAR
Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life
flood of fish
hua hin beaches free of smokers but inundated by fish
•This• week’s torrential rain is not unusual for this time of year, but the appearance of thousands of dead hua hin
fish on the beaches left locals and tourists bemused as to what had happened. According to local officials, the phenomenon, which affected a ten kilometre stretch of beaches from Klai Kangwon Royal Palace to Kao Takiab, is directly linked to the heavy rains. The rain caused floodwater, soil and waste to flow out to sea, which is said to have altered the chemical composition of the seawater in a way that blocked photosynthesis and depleted the amount of oxygen in the water. It is the second time this year that fish have died en masse in the province in the wake of deluges running out to sea, they said. An estimated ten tonnes of dead fish were washed up on the shore, with locals descending on the free haul to collect anything edible, while the local authorities despatched around one hundred staff to collect them, according to Jeeraway Prapmanee, assistant district officer of Muang Hua Hin. Most of the hundreds of thousands of dead specimens were juvenile pony fish, according to reports. However, there were also small shrimps and other aquatic animals such as mussels. Quick actions was needed as the smell was becoming strong and unpleasant, and the majority of the haul were sold off to local animal feed producers. The obvious question to be asked in the wake of this event is whether the authorities now feel a need to look again at the drainage systems in place that have indirectly led to this, as well as the overall cleanliness and safety of the seawater and beaches that are the initial attraction for most tourists, and the related issues of litter across the area - maybe a plan to ‘Keep Hua Hin Tidy’? As AWOL celebrates it’s 450th issue and ninth birthday, it would be a nice present!
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Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com
local listings
accommodation Tel.
Property Tel.
sports & leisure Tel.
Restaurants/Food Tel.
All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse
081 587 0938
Go Kart Hua Hin
032 512 747 032 511 564 032 547 199
Bars & Pubs Tel.
Bobby’s Bar Double D Father Teds Lucky Shot Panama Bar Thip’s Bar Wooden House
Services & other Tel.
Asian Secure Legal Services Hua Hin Siam Consulting thai-health.com
086 504 6405 084 881 8396 032 512 075
087 155 7737 080 652 0531 032 514 448 086 178 1550
Hot Property Lucky Real Estate
081 587 0938 082 298 0500
British Breakfast Foods Dizzy Dolphin Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Passport Cafe The Palm Bistro
087 155 7737 091 407 6854 032 513 144 093 139 9655 032 828 144
090 962 6758 091 449 4551
Tel. 091 407 6854 Free appetisers & Happy Hour prices during ALL live EPL matches Happy Hour all drinks 3 - 8.30 pm Food available from 3 - 10 pm. Try our extensive Thai & Western menu
Located in Samorphrong Turn right before the 7-11 & we are 200 m up on the right 19 Damnernkasem Road, Hua Hin Ph: 032 514448 Opposite the Police station
Live Music 7 nights a week Open for Breakfast from 9am Live sport on HD screens Chang, Guinness, Tiger, Carlsberg, San Mig Light, Magners & Kilkenny on Draught
HAPPY HOURS MON - FRI 9AM - 6PM don't miss in october LADIES NIGHT EVERY THURSDAY Buy 1 Get One Free on Cocktails LADS NIGHT EVERY FRIDAY Enjoy Happy Hour prices on our entire draught selection
For more information on Events and Special offers Call 032 514448
More than 12 years in Hua Hin
BOBBY’’S BAR
Find us on Soi 102
087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473
New Sunday Menu
Sunday Roast, with Chicken, Pork or Lamb. Plus Yorkshire Pudding, Roast & Mash Potatoes, Cabbage, Carrots, Parsley and Gravy. Includes Dessert of Apple or Blueberry Pie, or Fried Bananas with Ice Cream All Free when you spend 250Bt or more on Beers, Wine Or Cocktails
Home of Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods
UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.
Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com
AWOL WITH..
Sopea
Photos coutesy of Haribo
Join our Sunday Lunch Club and start earning your free Roast Dinner
Opening times Tuesday till Saturday 10.30 till 14.30, 17.30 till 21.00 Sunday 13.00 till 17.00 Tel. 032 828 144 Web: thepalmbistro.com thepalmbistro@gmail.com Located at Orchid Palm Homes 4 1043 Road, Tabtai, Hua Hin
090 962 6758
Thip’s Bar
Your Friendly Local In Samorphrong
Open every day from 1pm - late
Happy Hour until 8pm (small beers 50 baht, large beers 70 baht)
DHouble D H !2-8 Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531
appy
our
pm
Buy 2 Get 1 Free on all small domestic beers Large domestic beers 75 bt Wine 60 bt San Mig / Heineken 70 bt Sangsom + mixer 50 bt
LIVE SPORTS TV
Pool Table Open 2pm - Late
Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal & turn immediately right. We are about 600 m further on the right, 100 m past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.
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weather & tides World weather (19-10-17)
Local Forecast AND TIDES
Rain (mm) Conditions Temp. °C Tides CITY Weather High H L 1st 2nd 3rd 4th °C SA 0 Partly sunny 32 24 03:09 1.5m 06:18 2.7m 16:50 1.5m 18:16 2.4m Amsterdam Clear 14 SU 4 A morning t-storm 32 24 03:11 1.4m 06:32 2.7m 17:15 1.5m 18:26 2.3m Ankara Sunny 14 MO 10 Showers 31 24 03:16 1.4m 06:49 2.7m 17:41 1.5m 18:32 2.3m Athens Passing clouds 18 TU 4 Partly sunny, rain 30 25 03:23 1.4m 07:07 2.7m 18:11 1.5m 18:34 2.3m Auckland Passing clouds 13 WE 10 Partly sunny;rain 30 25 03:28 1.4m 07:27 2.7m 18:21 1.5m 18:48 1.5m Beijing Overcast 18 TH 3 Partly sunny; shower 30 23 03:30 1.4m 07:48 2.7m 16:53 2.3m 20:27 2.2m Berlin Fog 11 FR 14 Clouds, sun, shower 31 24 03:23 1.4m 08:08 2.6m - Buenos Aires Passing clouds 15 Cairo Partly sunny 25 Chicago Passing clouds 14 thailand weather (19-10-17) Copenhagen Low clouds 11 Dubai Passing clouds 37 Place Temp Hum Conditions Place Temp Hum Conditions Dublin Broken clouds 13 Aranyaprathet 34 °C 38% Scattered Clds Nakhon Sawan 30 °C 66% Mostly Cldy Helsinki Passing clouds 6 Nan 32 °C 46% Scattered Clds Ban A To 30 °C 61% Ho Chi Minh City Mostly cloudy 32 Nang Rong 31 °C 58% Partly Cldy Ban Baen Chado 32 °C 62% Partly Cldy Hong Kong Passing clouds 28 Narathiwat 32 °C 66% Partly Cldy Ban Bang Bamru 32 °C 62% Partly Cldy Islamabad Haze 32 Nong Khai 31 °C 62% Mostly Cldy Ban Bang Duan 32 °C 62% Partly Cldy Istanbul Passing clouds 20 32 °C 62% Scattered Clds Ban Bua Chum 32 °C 59% Scattered Clds Pattani Jakarta Overcast 30 Pattaya 30 °C 66% T-storm Ban Fai Na 31 °C 58% Partly Cldy Jerusalem Sunny 32 Phayao 29 °C 66% Scattered Clds Ban Hua Tho 32 °C 62% Partly Cldy Johannesburg Sunny 17 Phetchabun 33 °C 47% Scattered Clds Ban Ko Thung 29 °C 68% Mist Karachi Clear 36 Phetchaburi 31 °C 66% Scattered Clds Ban Krathing Lai 30 °C 66% T-storm Kuala Lumpur Partly sunny 35 Phitsanulok 32 °C 59% Partly Cldy Ban Na Si Nuan 30 °C 62% Mostly Cldy London Fog 15 Phrae 28 °C 74% Clear Ban Nong Pladuk 29 °C 66% Mostly Cldy Madrid Light fog 9 Phuket 31 °C 58% Partly Cldy Ban Samphan 35 °C 40% T-storm Manila Overcast 30 34 °C 51% Scattered Clds Bangkok 27 °C 84% Scattered Clds Prachin Buri Mexico City Overcast 6 Chaiyaphum 32 °C 47% Scattered Clds Prach. Khirikhan 34 °C 50% Scattered Clds Moscow Scattered clouds 33 Ranong 33 °C 52% Mostly Cldy Chanthaburi 32 °C 66% Partly Cldy Mumbai Sunny 33 Rayong 30 °C 66% T-storm Chawang 31 °C 75% Partly Cldy New Delhi Clear 14 Roi Et 32 °C 51% Partly Cldy Chiang Mai 29 °C 62% Mostly Cldy New York Chilly 1 31 °C 66% Partly Cldy Chiang Rai 29 °C 66% Scattered Clds Samui Oslo Sunny 14 Sattahip 32 °C 68% Overcast Chok Chai 32 °C 70% Partly Cldy Paris Sunny 24 34 °C 59% Scattered Clds Chumphon 32 °C 44% Scattered Clds Satun Perth T-storm 32 32 °C 70% Partly Cldy Kam Paeng Phet 31 °C 61% Scattered Clds Songkhla Phnom-Penh Clear 22 Sukhothai 32 °C 66% Scattered Clds Kamalasai 30 °C 62% Mostly Cldy Rio De Janeiro Sunny 32 32 °C 62% Partly Cldy Kanchanaburi 32 °C 56% Scattered Clds Suphan Buri Riyadh Fog 12 Surat Thani 34 °C 52% Partly Cldy Khanom 31 °C 66% Partly Cldy Rome Partly cloudy 13 Surin 31 °C 58% Partly Cldy Khlong Yai 32 °C 66% Partly Cldy San Francisco Sunny 20 31 °C 58% Mostly Cldy Ko Lanta 35 °C 49% Scattered Clds Tak Seoul Partly sunny 20 Takua Pa 34 °C 66% Partly Cldy Ko Samui 31 °C 66% Partly Cldy Shanghai Partly sunny 35 31 °C 10% Partly Cldy Ko Sichang 27 °C 84% Scattered Clds Tha Tum Singapore Sunny 5 Tha Wang Pha 32 °C 46% Scattered Clds Krabi 34 °C 46% Partly Cldy Stockholm Sunny 22 Thoen 32 °C 66% Scattered Clds Lampang 30 °C 70% Mostly Cldy Sydney Light rain 25 Thong Pha Phum 31 °C 62% Light Rain Lamphun 28 °C 74% Mostly Cldy Taibei/Taipei Light rain 12 32 °C 46% Scattered Clds Loei 31 °C 62% Scattered Clds Thung Chang Tokyo Passing clouds 11 Trang 35 °C 49% Scattered Clds Lop Buri 32 °C 62% Partly Cldy Vancouver Partly cloudy 33 Trat 32 °C 66% Partly Cldy Mae Hong Son 25 °C 83% Light Rain Vientiane Drizzle 25 Ubon Ratchathani 30 °C 70% Scattered Clds Mae Sariang 29 °C 72% Partly Cldy Yangon Cool 10 Udon Thani 31 °C 62% Mostly Cldy Mae Sot 31 °C 58% Mostly Cldy Zurich Mild 19 31 °C 58% Mostly Cldy Mukdahan 30 °C 48% Scattered Clds Umphang Uttaradit Nakhon Phanom 29 °C 66% Mostly Cldy Nak. Ratchasima 31 °C 59% Scattered Clds Wichian Buri
32 °C 66% Scattered Clds 33 °C 47% Scattered Clds
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....Until 31/10/2017... BARGAIN.. PRE REGISTER FOR FREE 20% DISCOUNT ON FIRST SAFE RENTAL
...QUICKLY HURRY UP ONLY 290 SAFE BOXES AVAILABLE NOW...
Opening Soon @hua hin Only 500 Units of SAFE BOXES available
FROM 393 THB PER MONTH
• Top security Hi-tech Steel Vault - Protected by 24/7 Monitoring of Alarm & CCTV • Register for FREE and receive 20% discount on your first SAFE rental (until 31/10/2017) • Do not wait any more to deposit your valuables, your documents, your jewels...in safety. We are here to give you the peace of mind you deserve. Rental available monthly, quarterly, semester (Consult us) PRIORITY TO SAFETY
- Reinforced steel & Fire-resistant concrete strong room - Vault door with auto-generated dynamic passcode - Fingerprint scanning with Face detection - Deposit boxes with dual locks - 24/7 Monitoring of alarm & CCTV - 24 Hr Protection by a leading Thai security company
4 SIZES OF SAFE BOXES
TYPE W x D x H (mm)
PRICE PER YEAR
A
133 X 93 X 450
4400 THB (+7% VAT)
B
210 x 93 x 450
6600 THB (+7% VAT)
C
290 x 130 x 450 10,900 THB (+7% VAT)
D
440 x 205 x 450 14,900 THB (+7% VAT) Key Deposit: 2000 THB
For more information please contact us:
Tel. 086-3547352 (TH), 086-5046405 (EN/FR) Email asiansecure01@gmail.com
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sudoku Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.
Puzzle 1 (Easy)
advertise here for just 360 baht per week (when booked for 13 issues)
Last issue’s solutions Puzzle 1
Puzzle 2 (Hard)
Puzzle 2
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ALL NATIONS
hua hin
guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747
allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here
advertise your business here for less than 100 baht per week (13 issue run)
puzzles codeword
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.
Last Issue’s Solution
Apologies for the repeated puzzle in last week’s issue.
A N
B O
C P
D Q
E R
F S
G H T U
I J K V W X
L Y
M Z
crossword Across 1 Ad-lib (9) 8 Spot (4) 9 Tastelessness (9) 10 Two of a similar type (4) 13 Ate a meal (5) 15 Excite sexually (4,2) 16 Automatic reaction (6) 17 By heck! —all that’s left of the cake? (6) 19 Hit hard (while dancing?) (6) 20 Fleshy underground stem (eg of the potato) (5) 21 Brash and loutish youth (4) 24 Ailing — blue (3-6) 25 Fishing lure (4) 26 Acquit (9)
The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19.
Down 2 Injure badly by beating (4) 3 Fit of temper (4) 4 A person who has never had sex (6) 5 Crossword composer (6) 6 Thin slices of fried veal (9) 7 Chemical compound, OH (9) 11 Dehydrated item used in making soups and sauces (5,4) 12 Monkey puzzle tree (or Chile pine) (9) 13 Uncertainty about the truth (5) 14 Interior layout and furnishings (5) 18 -ing, perhaps (6) 19 Guiding light (6) 22 Indistinct representation — obscure (4) 23 Edible animal fat (4)
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area 555 Got some great jokes? Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net
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crabs A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs, in New Orleans , please raise your hand?” Not one hand went up.... So she took them home and ate them. Two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.
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busy My boss phoned me today. He said, “Is everything okay at the office?” I said, “Yes, it’s all under control. It’s been a very busy day, I haven’t stopped.” “Can you do me a favour?” he asked. I said, “Of course, what is it?” He said, “Hurry up and take your shot, I’m behind you on the 7th hole.”
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asteroid The asteroid which is set to miss Earth by 26,000 miles has been christened ‘Emil Heskey’ by NASA
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quickie Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
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stiff A man was walking down the street when he noticed his 2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folk think grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. fishing “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed. “Poor old fool,” I thought to myself as i watched an old man The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. fish in a puddle outside the pub. “Grandpa,what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on So I invited the old man inside for a drink. As we sipped our below the waist?” he asked again. whiskeys, I thought I’d humour the old man and asked, “So The old man slyly looked at him and said, “Well, last week I sat how many have you caught today?” out herewith no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.” Grandma’s idea!”
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So you want to advertise in AWOL?
This size (Quarter page) is just 450 baht per week (based on a 13 week run, paid in advance)
To find out more, email sales@awolonline.net, or call 081 649 8361
“Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does.”
Wink with AWOL 081 649 8361
to hull and back Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong
OPEN 11am - 9pm every day (Closed Tuesdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food daily specials - check our blackboard Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking Contact us on 093 139 9655 or food@passportcafehuahin.com
Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.
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leaders of the pack Ladies - a question for you. What do you think about Theresa Mays’ cropped flares? This is not a politically biased question, honestly, I would feel the same way whatever party she represented. Because I personally don’t think they are a good look. Maybe if paired with knee high boots.... but the real issue here is that soon after her promotion to Prime Minister she was reported as saying that hubby Philip approves all her choices of clothing. What woman in her right mind would allow her other half to do that? Meanwhile it has been the question of ‘Deal or No Deal’ that has gripped the nation over here. Or at least those who can get their heads around what exactly is going on with Brexit these days, which isn’t many. What began as a referendum for a Britain with more control over it’s own affairs, resulted in a U turn by the prime minister who had promised that referendum, and went on to provide a new un-elected PM. At least last weeks’ Deal or No Deal scenario seemed to unite those like minded members of all parties who want to tread carefully. The next question could well be what will come first - another new British leader, or an election in Thailand. Whatever happens Yorkshire folk have given up caring and are focusing more on devolution for Gods’ Own County. After all there is already a Yorkshire International football team being formed, under the management of Willie Eck-As-Like, and the Yorkshire Pudding has taken the whole country by storm in the shape of Yorkshire Pudding wraps. Which to be honest have to be better than those rubbery Pitta bread things. Then there is also the fact that Yorkshire has more cricket
grounds than the whole of Australia - what more does an independent county need to survive? Admittedly it would help if the government would agree to order a new batch of Hawk jets for the Red Arrows, in time to save the factory down the road from Hull which builds them. But we can’t have everything. Unlike Thomas the Tank Engine, whose dreams are about to come true when two new lady trains join him. That should put some fresh steam in his old boiler.
On This Day On October 20th 1967 over 10,000 people took to the streets of Oakland, California, in a fifth day of protests against American involvement in the Vietnam war. For those of you who are interested in the story of that war the BBC has been showing an updated version of events. Simply entitled ‘The Vietnam War’, the documentary is in 10 parts with 3 still to be shown on BBC 4, and is available on i Player. It seems amazing that so much film footage has survived to provide such a graphic account of what happened some 50 years ago.
advertise here for just 450 baht per week (when booked for 13 issues) Contact AWOL now on 081 649 8361
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your stars Banchang Utapao VFW Post 12146
Become A Member Of The Number One Vfw Post In Thailand & The Pacific Areas
www.banchangvfwpost12146.org Contact: Dan Morgan (Membership Chairman) danwmorgan@gmail.com or Larry Williams (VFW Service Officer) quam1willi@yahoo.com
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
You will be physically overwhelmed by the simple eloquence and timeless beauty of a LeRoy Neiman painting, proving that there are dire consequences to having crappy taste.
Taurus Apr 21 – May 21
Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22
It will seem as if you’ve finally The stars foresee great received divine evidence of heartbreak, loss, and danger your Christlike nature, but it ahead for you, especially if you turns out all women bleed like do not stop asking why they that. didn’t tell you George Clooney was going to get malaria.
Gemini May 22 – June 21
You’ve always been afraid Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 of someone washing your Help out your friends and People say there are no second mouth out with soap, but that relatives with a sensitive chances in life, but even as was before you learned they issue this week. Clearly label they tighten the straps, you’ll all your worldly possessions made a special mouth-soap in the form of a be listening for the governor’s with the name of the intended minty paste. phone call. recipient by about 8:15 on Friday night.
Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18
Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20
Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22
Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21
While there’s no shame in You’ll suddenly have a admitting you don’t know realization that the Universe everything, there’s actually has no meaning save that we quite a lot of shame in make and that all human love admitting you can’t figure out is merely sexuality in disguise, but then you’ll how to eat chips and salsa. realise that some jalapeño poppers would be Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 great about now. There are two kinds of people Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21
ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20
Your plans for an exciting weekend will be spoiled when a busybody scientist decides he just has to ask you why you want all that plutonium.
Remember: The patient raindrops can eventually wear away even the hardest stone. Don’t let them get too close if you value your life.
in this world, and you’re almost certain that one of the two kinds does not have a penis.
Remember: It doesn’t matter how well the bear dances, because it’s impressive the bear can dance at all. Now go shave, lose some weight, and take dancing lessons.
english corner
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A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. This week it is.... Whistle down the wind Send away or abandon. The phrase ‘whistle down the wind’ is best known as the title of the 1961 film, directed by Bryan Forbes, and most people probably assume that it originated with the film. The plot revolved around the mistaken belief of a group of schoolchildren that a fugitive criminal they had discovered in hiding was in fact Jesus. In a tale heavy in Christian symbolism, the criminal was eventually inadvertently given away by the children and re-arrested. The phrase is in fact much older and derives from the earlier ‘whistle away’, which meant ‘dismiss or cast off ’. This usage dates from at least the 16th century and was used, for example, in Nicholas Harpsfield’s A treatise on the pretended divorce between Henry VIII and Catharine of Aragon, circa 1555:
to its own fate. Shakespeare alluded to this in Othello, 1604: If I do prove her haggard, Though that her jesses [leather straps] were my dear heartstrings, I’ld whistle her off and let her down the wind, To pray at fortune. The first appearance of the phrase as we now know it that can be found in print comes from Blackwood’s Edinburgh Magazine, 1826: Surely someone who can whistle down the wind this painful weakness of his nature ... is an anomaly, not a man.
Is there an English phrase or saying that you would like to know more about? Email it to us on submissions@awolonline.net
Fourthly, whereas his authors write that St. Dunstane, Archbishop of Canterbury, ex communicated Earle Edwyn for marrying cognatam, that is to say his kinswoman, he hath translated it, for marrying his brother’s wife. Fifthly, he belyeth our noble learned countryman John Bacon, saying that he was clapped and whistled out at Rome for maintaining this marriage The ‘down the wind’ part of the phrase comes from the sport of falconry. When hawks are released to hunt they are sent upwind and when turned loose for recreation they are sent downwind. Thus, to ‘whistle someone/thing down the wind’ is to cast it off
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Restaurant Thai Food
SMALL Beers
Singha 50 Chang, Leo 45
Big BEERS
Live Sports
Leo, Chang 70 Heineken 85 30 bt Coffee FREE REFILL
wooden house kiwi PUB
open 8 am to midnight
Located in Samortan Village off Canal Road - turn for Taweeporn Tel. 091 449 4551 Condotel and follow road for 350 m - look for orange awning
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classifieds Business
all nations guesthouse, bar & restaurant for sale. 14 rooms (10 ensuite with aircon, balcony, TV, fridge and safe). Town centre location, over 20 years established, 5 years remaining of lease with next 2 years rent fixed at 65,000 baht, following 3 years fixed at 70,000 baht. Price now reduced again to 1.5 million baht includes everything - furniture, fixtures, fittings, stock, and if required a Thai company. Price is negotiable and recently reduced from 2.5m baht. Don’t miss this once in a lifetime opportunity! Serious enquiries call us now on 081 817 3000. small guesthouse, restaurant, bar for sale. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms (2 with balcony), 4 levels, private large lounge upstairs. 2 large eating/drinking areas, 2 main kitchens. Parking front and rear. Good location near condos and hotels. Rent paid up to December, rolling lease. 650,000 baht includes all equipment, appliances and furniture, internet 50 MB and 2 TVs with cable and box. For more details contact 09307 46204 (English) or email howard_coates56@yahoo.co.uk
Thriving local restaurant and premises for
sale. Two storey townhouse on a corner plot comprising a small restaurant with two kitchen areas and toilet on the ground floor, and 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms on the upper floor, located in a busy residential area with several large estates in walking distance. Reluctantly selling this excellent property and business to invest elsewhere. Price 5.2 m baht. Please call 093 139 9655.
Property Law Criminal & Civil Law Family Law Company Registration Visa & Notary Services
Contact: rita@legalserviceshuahin.com facebook.com/legalserviceshuahin Located at Makro Food services General - sports
Golf Society looking for new members. LVGS play Monday & Friday at Lake View. Membership is mixed sex and mixed handicap. Enjoyment is paramount. Regular away trips and social events. Mail: hhlvgs@ gmail.com auto
motorbike/car rent Motorbikes 250 a day, 1400 a week, 4500 a month, Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information Property for sale
Advertise your property here for just 300 baht for 12 weeks! Employment
advertise for staff here.
Property wanted
Property partner wanted
SERVICES
driving in thailand? International driving licence valid 5 years 1800 bt. Call 089 530 8771 (Eng)
Do You Want a 100% fulfilling Life? Everyone has certain aspects of their lives which they want to change. Life can get tough and overwhelming but that doesn’t mean you have to live an unsatisfactory life. Let me help you live the life of your dreams. Email rjnuis@expat-nomad-life-coaching.com or call 099-1630 747 personals
Struggling with Stress,
Anxiety, or Depression? Are most days full of sadness or worries? Everybody experiences these problems at one time or another. Local councillor available in Hua Hin to help. Email: bob@ dorchesterassociates.co.uk
to take a share (or long term rental) in a new 4th floor 1 bed condo unit completing soon at The Pine in Khao Takiab; any arrangement considered but 50% ownership preferred. Call 082 892 1266
property for Rent
the breeze condo for rent or sale available immediately. 2 bed, 2
bath, ground floor, 90sqm. 30k per month negotiable for longer lets or 5.5m sale. Call 082 892 1266
Wanted
place your WANTED ad here! announcements
make your personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything!
General
single fold up bed with mattress, as new. Now reduced to 2300 baht o.n.o. Call 032 523604
Placing a classified with AWOL
All ads run for a minimum of thirteen weeks/issues. Maximum 25 words for any Single ad; longer ads possible by purchasing/using more ads. Prices: Single ad - 300 baht; Subscriptions: Basic (12 ads) - 1200 baht; Extra (36 ads) - 2700 baht; Extra Plus (72 ads) - 3600 baht. Featured (boxed) ads cost an additional 2 single ads Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: Facebook users can join our Group ‘AWOL Classifieds’ and place ads there for free; Option 4: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 2) . No adverts published (except Facebook) without prior payment. Deadline for inclusion in that week’s issue is Tuesday 6pm. Please notify us on classifieds@awolonline.net or by calling 081 649 8361 if you want an ad removed before it’s due date. No refunds given for removed ads. Payment: Cash at our office; Bank transfer/deposit (online or ATM/ADM) - A/C no. 489-0-04184-2 (KTB Bank), or credit/debit cards via Paypal, or Paypal transfer; Paypal email info@awolonline.net
awol bazaar This box for 10 weeks just 800 baht
Got a Happy Hour? Tell everyone here!
Post your notice about anything here!
This box for 26 weeks just 1300 baht
advertise in this space from only 160 baht per week
(based on a 6 month run)
contact us on 081 649 8361
Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: luckyrealestatehuahin@gmail.com Website: luckyhuahin.com
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.
Call to speak to an AA member:
Peo (Swedish) - 086 012 0856 Henrik - 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-007-6856 Terry aatha - 091-883-7757 iland.org www. Meetings every day in Hua Hin
AWOL BAZAAR PRICES Blocks of 4 boxes like this from only 40 baht per box/week Blocks of 8 boxes from only 35 baht per box/week Contact us on 081 649 8361 for more details
LAND FOR SALE
17 Rai in the Kui Buri area, near National Park and Yang Chum reservoir 499,000 baht per rai or 7 million for all (offers considered) Full Chanote Call 081 614 8728 for more details
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem
Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10am, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12 noon, and every Friday at 8.30am Contact Add 086 014 7585 Andy 062 01815
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money & information overseas calls information
Useful Numbers
REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call. ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers. FREE and cheap CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber. The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678
Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 027 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 532433 Tessabahn 032 511 047 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 532 018 3BB 032-900020-1 086-0127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928
exchange rates (18-10-17)
Currency Baht Algerian Dinar 0.29 Argentine Peso 1.91 Australian Dollar 26 Bitcoin 181129 Brazilian Real 10.5 British Pound 43.6 Bulgarian Lev 20 Canadian Dollar 26.5 Chilean Peso 0.0532 Chinese Yuan 5 Croatian Kuna 5.19 Czech Koruna 1.51 Danish Krone 5.23 Egyptian Pound 1.88 Ethereum 10204 Euro 38.9 Hong Kong Dollar 4.24 Hungarian Forint 0.126 Iceland Krona 0.314 Indian Rupee 0.508 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0024 Iranian Rial 0.001 Israeli New Shekel 9.43 Japanese Yen 0.295 Korean Won 0.0293 Malaysian Ringgit 7.85 Mexican Peso 1.76 New Zealand Dollar 23.7 Nigerian Naira 0.0937 Norwegian Krone 4.17 Pakistan Rupee 0.315 Philippine Peso 0.644 Polish Zloty 9.19 Qatari Rial 9.09 Romanian Leu 8.5 Russian Ruble 0.577 Saudi Riyal 8.82 Serbian Dinar 0.328 Singapore Dollar 24.4 South African Rand 2.47 Local Consular Sri Lanka Rupee 0.215 Representatives Swedish Krona 4.06 Swiss Franc 33.8 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.1 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 9.02 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham 9 FINNISH US Dollar 33.1 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.25 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, chrs@tourdeasia.org regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.
balloon chasers
••
Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email submissions@awolonline. net or post it on our Balloon Chasers Facebook group. recently added and coming soon
siam handlebar, Phetkasem Road (opp. airport); Saturday 25th November
red piano, soi kanjanomai. Happy Hour every day from 5 - 7pm BOGOF. the palm bistro, soi 88. Join their Sunday Lunch Club and start earning a free Sunday Roast (see ad p3)
essential as there is limited space 084 376 9438 or go to our Facebook page. Next quiz on 19th September. tk roadhouse, Khao Takiab. First Tuesday of every month ‘The Best Quiz siam handlebar, Phetkasem Road In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free (opp. airport); Breakfast now available food. seven days a week from 9.30am to 12 British style noon. Ladies Night every Saturday; Sunday Roasts: from 8 to 11pm first drink free, 50% thereafter (wine, small beer, Spy, soft Andreanna’s, Khao Takiab drinks, mixers, ice only) Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102
5 to 11pm Black and Chrome Party 3 in support of Jungle Aid; live music, 350 baht entry includes free t-shirt and first toon’s bar and restaurant, soi 6, drink. For more details and to register borfai. Premier League Happy Hour during matches get 3 for 2 on all small interest go to their Facebook page. father teds, Damnoernkasem Road. domestic beers. Now open every day Ladies night every Thursday - Buy 1 get from 3pm serving a wide range of Thai one free on cocktails; Every Friday is and Western food until 9pm, and great Lads night - get happy hour prices on all prices all day every day on drinks until late draught beers (see ad p2) Regular offers Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; The 99 baht breakfast is Back! FREE Sunday Roast - spend 250 baht and get a free Sunday Roast (see ad p2). Available from 2 to 8pm. All You Can Eat Chicken Wings and Kebabs every Friday from 5pm to 7pm when spend 200 bt. double d, Soi 6. Happy Hour every day from 2 - 8pm; Buy 2 get 1 free on all small domestic beers, Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and Heineken 65 baht, large domestic beers 70 baht. el murphy’s, soi selekam. Murfs Happy Times from 7am to 7pm Pints of: Guinness 189 bt, Old Speckled Hen 210 bt, Magners and Stowfor cider 180 bt. All day Chang and Leo Large 90 bt, small 49 bt. father teds, Damnoernkasem Road.
Live music, special food and drink offers, draught Guinness, something happening every night! See add on p2 for details. johnnie walker, soi selekam/ poolsuk road. Happy Hour every day
Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 ian’s restaurant, khao takiab (099 497 3040) Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam Mucky Duck, Bonkai (Soi 88) Nany’s Cafe, Soi 88 Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 north along klong road. Turn left Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) and 200m on left.); Large beers at great Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083
prices. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 311 1787 Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab. 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) Bookings only 084 376 9438 pub quizzes
Coopers Bar and Guest House, Soi 94; International Quiz returns on Monday 30th October, at 7:30. Quiz master Andy G
Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd Zab Wer, Soi 112.
back on the mike with complimentary food and prizes. General knowledge, music, picture rounds and a lot of fun. Teachers, tourists, locals and Ex Pats all welcome with questions to suit all. king bar, Soi Binthabaht. Quiz second Monday of every month (next one Monday 13th November 2017 at 7.30 pm) . Free entry, food and prizes hosted by Hawk - all welcome. Sunset
Boulevard,
Khao
Takiab.
Third Tuesday of the month 7.30pm 10pm. All video home compiled quiz with 8 rounds including audio visual rounds. Teams of up to 6. Free half time food and free entry but minimum bar bill 200 Baht per person. Bookings
from 9am to 8pm.
nany’s cafe, soi 88. Friday special - Fish, chips and mushy peas 139 bt, Atlantic cod fillet chips and mushy peas 220 bt. Also Leo draft now available small(half) 55 bt, large(pint) 75 bt passport cafe, Samorphrong. Now open for Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad p9) PIT’S CAFE, Dusitland 8, Soi 94. Every Saturday from 2-6pm, All You Can Drink draught Leo; Ladies 300 baht, Men 400 baht
TRADITIONAL HOME MADE COOKING - THAI AND ENGLISH TOP OF SOI 94 OPEN DAILY 8AM TO LATE ALL DAY BREAKFASTS TRADITIONAL SUNDAY ROAST - Lamb, Pork, Beef, Chicken Peas, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Carrots, Cabbage, Mash, Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire Pudding, Stuffing one free glass of wine with your sunday lunch! Pies, Beef Stew, Bangers & Mash, Fish & Chips & more! TAKEAWAY CALL 081 820 2309
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events with surf 102.5fm events
Ongoing
Rescue Paws is a non-profit organization based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray animal population. Find out more on their website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page RescuePawsThailand Trash Hero Hua Hin now every Sunday at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their eponymous Facebook page for weekly details HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking is your hobby you can join an international group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Tel. Robert 0983 562290 Dusit Thani Hua Hin Soccer Academy: exercise and professional football coaching for kids. Hua Hin Hash house Harriers every Saturday around the area. (see p14) Cicada Market and Performing Arts Fair. The Upcoming Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat evenings from Inform awol or Surf fm of your sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from 4pm; charitable or non commercial event and Dining, shopping, art, performances, and we will announce it here films in a beautiful park-like setting. A great place to spend an evening Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102.5 FM (surf102.5fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or Surf102.5. Get on the air! Go along any Friday morning to the Siam Bakery at the Marriott to have a chat or just watch the guys do the Breakfast Show between 7 and 10 am.
surf 102.5 fm schedule • The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 7:00 - 10:00 • Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 09:00 - 12:00, Sun. 15:00 - 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 • “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Tues., Thu. 20:00-22:00 • LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed.19:30 Fri. 20:15 • Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 22:00 Sun. 00:00 • The Mellow Show with Gary Zeipe Sun. 22:00 - 00:00 • Soft Surf Mon -Thurs, Sat. 22:00 - 01:00 • BBC News headlines every hour • BBC News Sat., Sun. 07:00 - 08:00, Every day 19:00- 19:30
An Unmissable Opportunity
FOR SALE
ALL NATIONS GUESTHOUSE, BAR & RESTAURANT Now Only 1.5 million baht!!!
(originally reduced to 1.75m from 2.5m) • 14 rooms • 10 rooms with a/c, ensuite, balcony, tv, fridge, safe • Bar/Restaurant • Satellite TV • Kitchen • Pool Table/Dart Board
town centre location established over 20 years featured in lonely planet rent of 65k fixed until 2019 Price includes all stock, fixtures & fittings and thai company if required
selling to concentrate on other business interests
Serious enquiries only please call 081 817 3000
weird news
••
germany German police tried to fine a man £800 for farting at them (twice) A man has inadvertently done two of the most famous farts in history, after German police attempted to fine him £800 for quacking in their vicinity. Twice. Obviously, we weren’t there, so we can’t comment on the actual stench, but the police’s overreaction has become so notorious in Germany a politician has ordered an inquiry, says City Lab. (The inquiry isn’t into Cristophe S’s farts, of course, into why the police saw fit to fine him in the first place). Possibly the best part is that local media has started referring to the case as the ‘Crazy Toot Trial’. The offending farts happened when officers from Berlin’s Police Unit 32 asked a group of people for documents in Rigaer Strasse, according to City Labs. The judge threw the case out in 10 minutes September, and a politician in Berlin’s senate has now demanded an inquiry into why it happened in the first place.
••
uk Dover Sole jumped down man’s throat because he tried to give it a ‘goodbye kiss’ The fisherman who almost died when a fish he caught leaped into his throat has described why it happened… and it’s made the story even weirder than before. Sam Quilliam, 28, said he wanted to give the Dover Sole a ‘goodbye kiss’ before throwing it back into the sea as it wasn’t big enough to take home. But things went very wrong from there. ‘I lifted it up and as I went to give it a peck it wriggled and I was shocked as it was coming to my face,’ he said appearing on This Morning. ‘When I was shocked I sort of opened my mouth and gasped and as it came towards me it’s gone straight into my throat.’ As if the ordeal wasn’t enough, he had to deal with being called a ‘fish swallowing idiot’ by keyboard warriors, who were quick to mock him. ‘Glad he survived, what an embarrassing way to die that would have been,’ one user wrote on Twitter. Another added: ‘Next on, a man who swallowed a bear. I don’t know why he swallowed a bear? Perhaps to catch the fish?’ Explaining what happened, Sam said: ‘Before I knew it, its head was lodged in my windpipe. ‘Panic set in. To begin with I just stuck my hand as far down my throat as I could get it, just panicking and trying to get a grip of it and pull it out of my mouth. ‘Where they’re so slippery in one way where the scales are, they are
really slick and smooth and slimy. I just couldn’t get hold of it.’ Sam quickly lost consciousness and went into cardiac arrest as the fish blocked his airways. Luckily he had two friends with him fishing on Bournemouth Pier, one who dialled 999 and the other, Matt Holmes, who had been on a first aid course and started giving him CPR. ‘For him to stay calm and level headed and start doing CPR is really the reason I’m alive today,’ Sam said. ‘Without him doing that call I would certainly be dead.’ The takeaway from this (not fish and chips, no) is that that you probably shouldn’t try to kiss a live fish.
••
usa Man tries to kill spiders with blow torch – ends up burning his house down There is nothing worse than a spider infestation, except possibly a blazing inferno engulfing your entire home. One man found out the hard way the true danger of a blow torch when he tried to destroy spiders in his home using fire. Instead of simply removing the eight-legged pests, the man burned his house to the ground. He accidentally created a massive blaze that required 23 firefighters to contain it. The unnamed man, from Tucson, Arizona, US, was suspected of using a propane torch to kill spiders and burn spiderwebs underneath his mobile home. But instead his house caught fire, with the blaze tearing through the inside, leaving it completely gutted. The fire, at around 9.20pm local time on Monday night, forced the man and an elderly woman out of their home. Fire crews were called to the blaze and when they arrived, described seeing the woman being carried out of the burning house by her son and several neighbours. Tucson Fire Department confirmed the woman suffered minor injuries after being treated by paramedics at the scene. It took firefighters 11 minutes to put out the fire, but by that time, the inferno had ripped through the entire home.
Contacting AWOL Telephone:
081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) Office:
Website:
www.awolonline.net Facebook:
136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, AWOLexpat Prachuap Kiri Khan Twitter: Email:
info@awolonline.net
awolhuahin
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LOCAL SPORTS hua hin city F.C
Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011, playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab. FIXTURES The season is over. New season details and other news will be announced here when available thai League 4 Western Region table
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Team Suphanburi B Muangkan United BTU United Assumption United Ratchaburi Mitr Phol B IPE Samut Sakhon United Hua Hin City Look Isan Nonthaburi Pathum Thani United
P 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27
GD PTS 36 64 19 56 20 51 22 48 3 39 -1 38 -5 29 -19 27 -18 26 -57 4
SUPPORT AWOL AND OUR LOCAL SPORTS BY SPONSORING THESE PAGES. Call 081 649 8361 hua hin world cup 2017
This year’s competition is booked for the weekend of 9th and 10th December, but full details are still to be announced. The organisers want to raise awareness and get people involved either as players or support as soon as possible so to find out more and be kept in the loop, please email huahinworldcup@gmail.com. Last year’s Facebook page (Red Mountain Hua Hin World Cup 2016) is currently the only other place to get information, but a new page will be set up soon for this year’s competition. There is always a charity element to the competiton, with last year Jungle Aid being the beneficiaries, but this has not been announced yet for this year. There are also sponsorship opportunities, so please contact the organisers on the email address above if you are interested in this as well. Last year’s winners were Thailand, following up their win the previous year, with Sweden and Finland the other winners since the tournament started in 2013. hash house harriers
A drinking Club with a running & walking Problem! Purple shop on your left and turn LEFT The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House maps/APP8hb98jaH2 Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays GPS COORDINATES: N 12.609953, E (HHH Sign). Continue a further 500 m passing a school on your left and then for around an hour’s. run/walk in the 99.874692 (N 12 36.597 E 99 52.482) turn LEFT at Crematorium (HHH sign), surrounding countryside followed by DIRECTIONS to RUN SITE a social gathering. lf you would like to From Hua Hin & Cha-Am via Phet park on side of track after 200 metres. Please be at the run site NOT later than come along then visit our website www. Kasem Road h2h3-cah3.weebly.com or Facebook at Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ 16:00 HASH TAX: None www.facebook.com/H2H3CAH3 for full VNMN1huwnT22 details and directions. Please note that Make you way on Phet Kasem Road and The On-After: My Family restaurant Co-ordinates: people attending and participating do so turn into Hua Hin Soi 58 and continue GPS to traffic light junction with the Klong 12.5762229,99.9194151 (N 12 34.573, E entirely at their own risk. NEXT RUN Saturday 21st Road and continue straight over. Zero 099 55.165) october 2017, meet @ 4pm for a odometer, at 1.3 km turn right, follow Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ 4:30 pm start. signs for Black Mountain Water Park.. t7E8H4Ddmip H2H3 FUN RUN – 21st October 2017 Bear right at 4.0 km. Pass the Water Park Misdirection’s from Run Site to the Free run. Bring your own beer, ice, water at 8.2 km and continue to Crematorium On After: Exit left from run site and and snacks at 9.8 km (HHH Sign)) and turn RIGHT make your way back to Black Mountain Objective: to use the same trail as for onto dirt road, park on side of track after Road. Turn RIGHT and drive 0.5 km the hash on 14th October but run in the 200 metres. to junction. Turn LEFT and drive 3.8 opposite direction with paper on the left From Cha-Am via the bypass Route 37 km to the Pala U Road. Turn LEFT and and no checks Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ drive 4.3 km to My Family Restaurant on Picture the RIGHT. Parking available at back of Hmj4dvG1eAv LOCATION: Wat Rai Noen Head SOUTH on bypass towards restaurant accessed by turning into side Crematorium past Black Mountain water Pranburi and exit LEFT at road sign road at right of restaurant Park posted Black Mountain Water Park. GOOGLE MAP LINK: https://goo.gl/ Continue on this road for 1.1 km to
local golf Butterfly Rock Golf society
RESULTS No results available Fixtures 23rd October 2017 Lake View AB Stableford 25th October 2017 Black Mountain Stableford
Hua Hin Golf Society
saensuk Golf Society
Results Results 17th October 2017 18th October 2017 Black Mountain Ladies Stableford 9 Imperial Lake View A&B The Big Bo entered Memorial 54 entered 1st Tum Ringnalda 36 pts (15) 1st Rolf Skold 72 - 03 = 69 2nd Wan Khongjam 33 pts (26) 2nd Goran Sundin 74 - 05 = 69 3rd Anna Sjogren 30 pts (13) 3rd Dave Crawford 90 - 20 = 70 4th Neung Chueanil 30 pts (06) 4th Lars Olbert 75 - 04 = 71
17th October 2017 Black Mountain Stableford 34 entered Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please 1st Tim Vermeersch 41 pts (17) contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you 2nd Mats Jogin 37 pts (11) are interested in joining in, and thanks to 3rd Maarten Feijen 36 pts (05) Ronnie for the results. 3rd Hallbjorn Stenhaug 36 pts (16) 13th october 2017 12 players 13th October 2017 Played 6 yellow, 6 white, 6 red. Banyan Medal 32 entered First - Steinar Bratland (25) 34 points 1st Fred Ward 85 - 17 = 68 Second - Ronnie Thorley (15) 32 points 2nd Harvey Russell 79 - 11 = 68 Third - Nigel Guest (11) 32 points 3rd Ken Wilkie 92 - 23 = 69 4th Mats Jogin 82 - 11 = 71 fixtures 24th October 2017 Majestic Stableford 27th October 2017 Royal Hua Hin Stableford ronnie’s roll up
cha am golf club
Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES No fixtures currently listed.
16th October 2017 Springfield Royal Country Club Splinter Cell Stableford 21 entered 1st Marten Norregaard 38 pts (05) 2nd Kjell Karlsson 36 pts (20) 3rd Thomas Ronnestam 35 pts (16) 4th Micke Tredahl 34 pts (02) 13th October 2017 Springfield Golf Resort A & C Splinter Cell Stableford 14 entered 1st Marten Norregaard 40 pts (06) 2nd Kittiya O’Callahan 36 pts (17) 3rd Nadtaya Nieuwenhuizen 34 pts (09) 4th Roy Sweetland 34 pts (06) fixtures Monday/Friday Springfield Splinter Cell Stableford 25th October 2017 Palm Hills 1st November 2017 Black Mountain - 10 year Anniversary Celebration
lake view members club
HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE
results week 9 17th october 2017 Blue Lagoon v El Toro Loco n/a Johnnie Walker Black - No Game Pinky Bar v Johnnie Walker Red n/a League Table Team JW Black El Toro Loco Pinky Bar JW Red Blue Lagoon
P W D 7 6 0 5 4 0 7 2 0 6 2 0 5 1 0
L 1 1 5 4 4
+/- Pts 9 12 11 8 -5 4 -8 4 -7 2
fixtures week 10 24th october 2017 Bye Bye - No Game v Pinky Bar El Toro Loco v Johnnie Walker Black Johnnie Walker Red v Blue Lagoon
Results 13th October 2017 Course AB 1st Gary Ross (20) 35 pts 2nd Bill Evans (13) 32pts 3rd Doug Miller (11) 31pts 4th Michael Snakebite (5) 31pts 16th October 2017 Course AC 1st Gary Engelman (13) 35pts 2nd Steve O’Brien (14) 31pts 3rd Peter Tucker (12) 29pts 4th Reto Vorburger (5) 27pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Crossword Solution
Here is last week’s Crossword solution.
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pool leagues hua hin khao takiab super Pool League
results week 24 12th october 2017 Arilds Bar v Le Kiss Bar n/a Bobby’s Birds v N & G Bar n/a Home v High Five n/a Hut Bar v Fin Bar n/a Lanla Bar v Tore’s Bar n/a Mucky Duck v Tiki Bar n/a Pits Cafe v Muan Bar n/a Sweetheart Bar v Drink & Shelter n/a The Dream v Tap House Bar n/a Fixtures No fixtures next week P 21 21 20 21 21 21 21 20 21 21 19 21 21 20 21 20 20 19 21 15
results week 1 12th october Bar 80 Saloon 12 - 8 Silver Fox Wolverines Mr Dan’s 88 10 - 10 Mint Bar Nalee Bar 8 - 12 MasterCues Bar Patty’s Family 8 - 12 Jaew Bar Sabai Bar 9 - 11 Hua Hin Bar Silver Fox 13 - 7 Mausi Bar Squealing Pig 9 - 11 Coopers The Connection Cafe 15 - 5 Big Kahuna Fixtures No games next week
W 20 15 16 17 17 15 13 11 10 13 8 7 7 6 6 7 3 3 1 1
L 1 6 4 4 4 6 8 9 11 8 11 14 14 14 15 13 17 16 20 14
+/153 99 114 87 87 87 57 58 5 3 -5 -49 -61 -46 -95 -86 -124 -111 -173 -133
Pts 297 270 267 264 264 264 249 239 223 222 197 196 190 187 173 167 148 144 134 91
Team Bar 80 Saloon Big Kahuna Coopers Hua Hin Bar Jaew Bar MasterCues Bar Mausi Bar Mint Bar Mr Dan’s 88 Nalee Bar Pattys Family Sabai Bar S. F. Wolverines Silver Fox Squealing Pig The Connection
P W D L 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
LUCKY SHOT BAR
Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin Hua Hin Pool Billiard League
League tablE
League Table Team Tap House Bar Tiki Bar Muan Bar Mucky Duck N & G Bar Drink & Shelter Pits Cafe Home Lanla Bar Arilds Bar Fin Bar Bobby’s Birds Star Bar Le Kiss Bar The Dream High Five Tore’s Bar Sweetheart Bar Hut Bar Hut Bar
thursday friendly Pool League
+/0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE IS NO AWOL NEXT WEEK OUT OF RESPECT FOR HM THE KING
Pts 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
fixtures The season is over. Details of any new season will be printed here when available. League tablE Team Pits Rangers Pits Pirates Big Kahuna Lucky Shot B Lucky Shot A Muan Bar
P 10 10 10 10 10 10
W 8 5 3 2 3 0
D 2 3 5 4 1 3
L 0 2 2 4 6 7
+/28 8 8 -6 -10 -28
Pts 18 13 11 8 7 3
friday team League
results Week 1 played after publication; no issue next week so week 2 results will feature here next issue Fixtures week 2 27th October 2017 Aonzy Bar v Mucky Duck Ba Na Na Bar v Sabai Bar Bye v Nalee Bar Coopers 94 v Bobbys Bar Home Bar v Bikini Bar League tablE Team Aonzy Bar Ba Na Na Bar Bikini Bar Bobbys Bar Coopers 94 Home Bar Mucky Duck Nalee Bar Sabai Bar
P W D L 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
+/0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Pts 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
pool leagues HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE
results Week 18 18th october 2017 All Nations GH 3 - 16 JW Red Bentho Bar 9 - 10 King Bar Booz Bar 9 - 10 Jungle Juice Leopards JW Black 10 - 9 Limelight Jungle Juice Cheetas 6 - 13 N & G Tiger Bar 14 - 5 Pink Panther Fixtures Week 19 25th october 2017 Jungle Juice Leopards v Tiger Bar JW Red v Bentho Bar King Bar v Booz Bar Limelight v All Nations GH N & G v JW Black Pink Panther v Jungle Juice Cheetas League Table Team N&G JW Black Bentho Bar Limelight King Bar Jungle Juice Cheetas Tiger Bar Pink Panther All Nations GH Jungle Juice L’pards JW Red Booz Bar
P 18 17 18 16 15 14 18 17 16 17 17 17
W 15 12 12 11 10 10 8 7 5 5 4 1
L 3 5 6 5 5 4 10 10 11 12 13 16
+/- Pts 84 30 45 24 28 24 46 22 39 20 24 20 -2 16 -53 14 -38 10 -69 10 -27 8 -77 2
tuesday POOL LEAGUE soi 94
hua hin soi 80 tuesday Pool League
results week 18 17th october 2017 Arilds Sports Bar 11 - 7 Home Bar 2 Coopers Bar 11 - 7 Nalee Bar Home Bar 15 - 3 Mausi Bar Na Na Bar 8 - 10 Tree Bar Tores Bar 3 - 15 Tiki Bar
results Week 14 17th october 2017 Bar 80 Saloon 10 - 8 Eagle Bar Fin Bar 1 13 - 5 Fin Bar 2 Hua Hin Bar ‘K’ 2 - 16 Exotic Bar Mint Bar 9 - 9 Hua Hin Bar ‘S’ Mona Bar 10 - 8 Hut Bar
FIXTURES week 19 24th october 2017 Home Bar 2 v Connections Cafe Mausi Bar v Arilds Sports Bar Nalee Bar v Home Bar Tiki Bar v Coopers Bar Tree Bar v Tores Bar
Fixtures Week 15 24th october 2017 Eagle Bar v Mona Bar Exotic Bar v Bar 80 Saloon Fin Bar 2 v Hua Hin Bar ‘K’ Hua Hin Bar ‘S’ v Fin Bar 1 Hut Bar v Mint Bar League Table
League tablE Team Tiki Bar Coopers Bar Home Bar 2 Home Bar Arilds Sports Bar Tores Bar Connections Cafe Na Na Bar Tree Bar Nalee Bar Mausi Bar
P 16 16 17 16 16 17 16 17 17 16 16
W 14 14 13 8 7 6 4 5 3 2 0
D 1 0 2 4 3 4 4 1 4 2 3
L 1 2 2 4 6 7 8 11 10 12 13
+/108 104 78 48 -12 -20 -12 -32 -70 -86 -106
Pts 43 42 41 28 24 22 16 16 13 8 3
Fixtures No matches next week
P 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14
W 9 8 9 8 7 6 4 5 2 2
D 2 4 1 1 1 1 4 1 3 2
L +/- Pts 3 32 29 2 32 28 4 10 28 5 36 25 6 6 22 7 -4 19 6 2 16 8 -6 16 9 -42 9 10 -66 8
hua hin wednesday Pool League
results Week 7 18th october 2017 Lucky Shot 2 8 - 11 Pit’s Cafe 1 Pit’s Cafe 2 12 - 7 Arild Baan Sanook 3 - 16 Lucky Shot 1 Infinity 5 - 14 Big Kahuna
NWPL New Wednesday POOL LEAGUE
results Week 10 18th october 2017 Aonzy Bar 10 - 12 Tores Bar BRGC@Bar80 17 - 5 Sabai Bar Breeze Bar 14 - 8 Squealing Pig Coopers Blues 10 - 12 Home Bar One Home Bar Two 22 - 0 Coopers Reds Tree Bar 12 - 10 Jaew Bar
Team Exotic Bar Fin Bar 2 Fin Bar 1 Bar 80 Saloon Mona Bar Hua Hin Bar ‘K’ Mint Bar Eagle Bar Hut Bar Hua Hin Bar ‘S’
League Table League Table Team BRGC@Bar80 Home Bar Two Sabai Bar Tree Bar Home Bar One Squealing Pig Breeze Bar Aonzy Bar Jaew Bar Tores Bar Coopers Blues Coopers Reds
P 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10
W 9 9 9 5 4 4 3 3 3 2 1 2
d 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 2 2 3 3
L 1 1 1 5 5 6 6 7 5 6 6 5
+/- Pts 66 27 60 27 36 27 14 15 -10 13 -2 12 -40 10 -28 9 2 8 -22 8 -36 6 -40 6
Team Lucky Shot 1 Pit’s Cafe 1 Lucky Shot 2 Pit’s Cafe 2 Infinity Baan Sanook Big Kahuna Arild
P W L +/- Pts 7 6 1 37 12 7 5 2 35 10 7 4 3 21 8 7 4 3 1 8 7 4 3 -7 8 7 3 4 -31 6 7 2 5 9 4 7 0 7 -65 0
FIXTURES Week 8 25th october 2017 Pit’s Cafe 1 v Infinity Baan Sanook v Pit’s Cafe 2 Big Kahuna v Lucky Shot 1 Please note: Some points deductions Lucky Shot 2 v Arild have been made to two teams
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pool leagues
102 & 88 saturday POOL LEAGUE
hua hin star Pool League
results week 9 15th october 2017 division 2 division 1
Gent 5 - 4 John Tim v Steve Darren 0 - 5 Wad Thong 5 - 3 Shawn Bernard 5 - 2 Tina Robbie 5 -2 Mick Den 5 - 2 Michel Golf 2 - 5 Julius
Kwan 7 - 3 Prj Lieven 2 - 7 Brian Derrick 7 - 6 Dang Thong 7 - 3 Brian Hampi 4 - 7 Job Korn 3 - 7 Andy Pek 7 - 6 Peter Tong 7 - 5 Paul
Fixtures
No fixtures next week
League Tables division 1
division 2
Player
P +/- Pts Player
Hampi Brian Korn Pek Andy Thong Peter Tong Job Kwan Dang Derrick Lieven Prj Brian Paul
9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9
23 10 6 14 7 11 7 7 -3 0 -3 -4 -6 -13 -27 -29
14 14 14 12 12 10 10 10 10 8 8 8 8 2 2 2
Julius Thong Gent Den Shawn Darren Wad Bernard Mick Golf Tim Robbie John Steve Michel Tina
results Week 11 14th october 2017 Big Kahuna 10 - 8 Banana Bar Bobby’s Babes 8 - 10 Bobby’s Bar El Toro Loco 9 - 9 Mucky Duck Master Ques 13 - 5 Silver Fox
results Week 8 13th october 2017 High Five 5 - 18 TK Roadhouse Jungle Juice 11 - 12 Sunset Boulevard Muan Bar 11 - 12 Exotic Bar Take 5 Sports Bar v Fin Bar n/a
FIXTURES Week 12 21st october 2017 Banana Bar v El Toro Loco Bobby’s Bar v Master Ques Mucky Duck v Big Kahuna Silver Fox v Bobby’s Babes
FIXTURES No matches next week
P +/- Pts League tablE 9 16 16 Team P 8 18 14 Master Ques 11 9 8 14 Mucky Duck 11 9 11 12 El Toro Loco 11 9 10 12 Bobby’s Bar 11 9 7 10 Big Kahuna 11 9 7 10 9 6 10 Banana Bar 11 9 3 10 Bobby’s Babes 11 9 -2 10 Silver Fox 11 8 9 8 8 9 9
-5 -8 -8 -20 -21 -22
6 6 4 2 2 2
Hua Hin Khao Takiab Cool POOL LEAGUE
W 9 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
D L 1 1 2 2 2 3 2 4 1 6 1 7 2 7 3 7
+/80 16 6 6 -4 -34 -38 -32
League tablE
Pts 19 16 14 12 9 7 6 5
Team TK Roadhouse Jungle Juice Exotic Bar Fin Bar Take 5 Muan Bar The Connection Sunset B’vard High Five
P W D L +/- Pts 7 7 0 0 57 109 7 5 0 2 23 92 7 4 0 3 -7 77 7 3 0 4 -10 75 6 4 0 2 8 73 6 3 0 3 9 73 6 3 0 3 8 73 7 1 0 6 -43 59 7 0 0 7 -45 58
leagues not currently running
Details of new seasons will be printed here when available. Organisers please contact AWOL with any information. hua hin/khao takiab ladies Pool League
Friends of Hua Hin Wednesday Pool League
results Week 7 18th october 2017 Bobby’s Bangers 8 - 12 T.K. Roadhouse Master Cues 16 - 4 Muan Bar Mucky Duck 15 - 5 High Five Bar Silver Fox 11 - 9 Sunset Boulevard Take 5 13 - 7 Bobby’s Beauties FIXTURES No matches next week
League tablE Team Master Cues T.K. Roadhouse Mucky Duck Muan Bar Bobby’s Bangers Bobby’s B’ties Silver Fox Take 5 Sunset B’vard High Five Bar
P W D L +/- Pts 7 6 1 0 70 13 7 5 1 1 16 11 7 3 2 2 12 8 7 3 1 3 6 7 6 2 2 2 6 6 7 3 0 4 -8 6 6 3 0 3 -14 6 7 2 1 4 -32 5 7 1 2 4 -14 4 7 1 0 6 -42 2
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english premier league table
(all times Thailand)
saturday 21st october 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE West Ham United v Brighton 02:00 Chelsea v Watford 18:30 Huddersfield T. v Manchester Utd 21:00 Manchester City v Burnley 21:00 Newcastle United v Crystal Palace 21:00 Stoke City v Bournemouth 21:00 Swansea City v Leicester City 21:00 Southampton v West Brom 23:30 CHAMPIONSHIP Aston Villa v Fulham 21:00 Barnsley v Hull City 21:00 Bolton Wanderers v QPR 21:00 Brentford v Sunderland 21:00 Bristol City v Leeds United 21:00 Derby County v Sheffield Weds 21:00 Middlesbrough v Cardiff City 21:00 Nottingham F. v Burton Albion 21:00 Sheffield United v Reading 21:00 Wolves v Preston 21:00 Millwall v Birmingham City 23:30 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Hearts v St Johnstone 21:00 Partick Thistle v Dundee 21:00 Ross County v Hamilton Acad. 21:00 sunday 22nd october 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Everton v Arsenal 19:30 Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool 22:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Ipswich Town v Norwich City 18:00 wednesday 25th october 2017 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Hamilton Acad. v Partick Thistle 01:45 Hibernian v Hearts 01:45 St Johnstone v Ross County 01:45 EFL CUP - FOURTH ROUND Arsenal v Norwich City 01:45 Bournemouth v Middlesbrough 01:45 Bristol City v Crystal Palace 01:45 Leicester City v Leeds United 01:45 Swansea City v Manchester United 01:45 Manchester City v Wolves 02:00 thursday 26th october 2017 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Aberdeen v Celtic 01:45 Dundee v Motherwell 01:45 Rangers v Kilmarnock 01:45 EFL CUP - FOURTH ROUND Chelsea v Everton 01:45 Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham 02:00
football
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Team Man City Man Utd Tottenham Watford Chelsea Arsenal Burnley Liverpool Newcastle West Brom Southampton Huddersfield Swansea Brighton West Ham Everton Stoke Leicester Bournemouth Crystal Palace
P 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
GD PTS 25 22 19 20 10 17 0 15 5 13 2 13 2 13 1 13 1 11 -2 10 -2 9 -4 9 -3 8 -4 8 -6 8 -8 8 -9 8 -3 6 -8 4 -16 3
fantasy premier league - awol challenge
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Team Pony & Trap RentMyThaiVilla Colonial Carthorses Are Go Mr. Cha Aming Dannyxcollinz Wanderlust United FC ROCA Lost Cafe AC Clacton HH Jambos JR Brutd S.C Frankies 11 Hua hin jambos AWOL Wanderers Atletico Pathetico The Dada Donkeys Portsmoth city Pink Panther AFC Shortimeagain
GW 69 58 38 55 47 63 47 46 30 21 48 48 37 30 25 40 29 20 31 29
TOT 481 452 446 440 434 427 426 423 419 415 413 394 391 364 356 343 335 324 320 308
Featured Game
thursday 26th october 2017 EFL CUP - FOURTH ROUND Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham 02:00 Two teams that have struggled to deal with playing in their home stadiums face each other in a competition that both have a realistic chance of going a long way in. The fact that they are arch rivals who both revel in bloodying the other’s nose adds a bit of spice, and it will be interesting to see if both managers play their strongest sides. Obviously this preview is written without knowing the outcome of the weekend’s league games, or any injuries or suspensions, but we suspect that the home side will rest some key players, while West Ham will play their strongest side available. This will be a close game, and we think extra time and penalties are likely to be needed to settle it; we are going for West Ham to come out on top.
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cash only Newcastle United on offer for £3.99 in Sports Direct
••
uK Mike Ashley is to sell Newcastle United alongside some cheap Firetrap t-shirts. The millionaire businessman has understandably had enough of running the football club, as he can’t get away with paying the players minimum wage or putting them on zero hours contracts. “It will form part of our next bumper sale, which will start tomorrow and run until the end of time,” confirmed Simon Williams, the manager of Sports Direct’s flagship Newcastle branch. “You can pick it up for £3.99, along with some low quality ‘running’ shoes and some TapOut gear. You should still have change from a tenner for the lot.” A spokesperson for Newcastle United said, “We are very excited to find out who our new owner will be. We’re hoping it happens to be a high-powered business brain and not some chancer who usually visits in order to get a shirt for a job
Above: Newcastle manager Rafa Benitez puts in a bid
interview for under a fiver. “Rafa Benitez is particularly pleased as it means he will no longer have to work Sundays at Sports Direct as part of his contract.” Whoever buys Newcastle United, it will be first Sports Direct sale that doesn’t come with a giant mug “We’d normally throw in a mug big enough to fit three normal cups of tea,” confirmed Sports Direct spokesperson, Simon Williams. “But throwing one in with the sale of Newcastle United would almost seem like mockery, bearing in mind they haven’t won a cup of any kind since the late Middle Ages. “We’ll throw in something more appropriate – a return ticket to Newcastle coach station, perhaps. Or a small flask of tears.”
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• 3 three storey townhouses • Pranburi • Large Parking Area in front • 4 Bedrooms • 3 Bathrooms
Price between 2.7 and 2.9 million baht For more information or to view the properties call 081 614 8728 (Eng/Thai)