AWOL Issue 470 by AWOL Co. Ltd

FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 470 16th March 2018

ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES

FREE

EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008

the original and best!

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10AM - 7PM

Call 32 547 199 (Office) or 81 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2 Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

www.gokarthuahin.com info@gokarthuahin.com

Victor’s

open 24/7

Wide range of rooms in the heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 32 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin

P A N AMA BAR

Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life

banking on it

banking at 7-eleven not necessarily what you might expect

•The• story last month that banking services would be available at 7-Eleven stores soon was greeted with thailand

much glee by customers who have a long trek to their nearest branch, and Siam Commercial Bank were widely announced as being the first to offer this. However it seems as if this boon to customers was incorrectly reported and, as with many stories, seized upon by users of social media and forums with a resulting internet of chinese whispers. The reality is that the Bank of Thailand announced an upcoming regulatory rule change that would allow commercial banks to assign private companies – like 7-Eleven franchises – to provide services on their behalf. That rule change was set to happen during March. However there are strict limits in place for any authorised banking agent; any individual transaction cannot exceed 5,000 baht, and there is a limit per customer of 20,000 baht per day. Transactions would only be deposits and withdrawals, but as 7-Eleven stores already offer bill payment facilities that is neither here nor there. And given the presence of ATMs outside almost every 7-Eleven, the only additional service would be the ability to deposit cash, and the amounts involved would really only benefit small operations, such as street food vendors, but it will be a big bonus for them, to avoid having to travel to the bank and face the long queues there often are, or having to keep the cash on them. The question it begs though is why don’t the banks simply install more ADMs, which are capable of handling much larger deposits? The reason behind the possible use of banking agents is simply that, like most of the western world, banks are closing branches and cutting staff, due, they say, to a reduction in customers using their counter services. Others might say it is a self-fulfilling prophecy driven more by cutting costs and increasing profits than any effort to improve customer service.

local listings 081 587 938 Services & other Tel.

All Risks Insurance Expat Lodge Nut’s Pool Services Siam Consulting

080 500 2222 061 643 4549 081 614 8728 032 512 75

sports & leisure Tel.

Property Tel.

Bars & Pubs Tel.

Restaurants/Food Tel.

Go Kart Hua Hin HIPPO Bobby’s Bar Double D Father Teds Happy Bar Panama Bar

032 547 199 086 082 7044 087 155 7737 080 652 531 032 514 448

Hot Property Lucky Real Estate

081 587 938 082 298 500

British Breakfast Foods Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Passport Cafe The Palm Bistro

087 155 7737 032 513 144 093 139 9655 032 828 144

accommodation Tel.

All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse

032 512 747 032 511 564

“Fish Swim, Birds Fly, Dogs Socialise”

EXPAT LODGE BOARDING KENNELS PRANBURI Tel. 061 643 4549 (Eng) 092 580 4743 (Thai) E-mail: info@expatlodge.com Web: www.expatlodge.com

19 Damnernkasem Road, Hua Hin Ph: 032 514448 Opposite the Police station

Live Music 7 nights a week Open for Breakfast from 9am Live sport on HD screens Chang, Guinness, Tiger, Leo, Magners & Kilkenny on Draught

HAPPY HOURS MON - FRI 9AM - 6PM watch 6 nations rugby LIVE here in march

LIVE EVERY wednESDAY FROM 9PM

For more information on Events and Special offers Call 032 514448

Doggy Day Care 200 baht per day Short term Boarding 270 baht per day (Long term discounts available) Pickups and returns can be arranged Please ask us if you have any special requirements for your dog Open 9am to 5pm Monday - Saturday & 9am to noon Sunday

More than 12 years in Hua Hin

BOBBY’’S BAR

Find us on Soi 102

87 155 7737 or 89 985 7473

New Sunday Menu

Sunday Roast, with Chicken, Pork or Lamb. Plus Yorkshire Pudding, Roast & Mash Potatoes, Cabbage, Carrots, Parsley and Gravy. Includes Dessert of Apple or Blueberry Pie, or Fried Bananas with Ice Cream All Free when you spend 250Bt or more on Beers, Wine Or Cocktails

Home of Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

AWOL WITH..

Wanda

Photos coutesy of Haribo

Double D Bar Soi 6 Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 80 652 531

Pool Table Open 2pm - Late

Every Friday Free Pizza !* *with drinks purchase

Happy Hour! 2 - 8 pm

LIVE SPORTS TV

Buy 2 Get 1 Free on all small domestic beers

Wine 60 bt San Mig/Heineken 70 bt Sangsom + mixer 50 bt

BIG SCREEN SHOWING EPL, F1 RUGBY, GOLF, AUSSIE RULES etc

Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal & turn immediately right. We are about 600 m further on the right, 100 m past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.

weather & tides World weather (15-3-18)

Local Forecast AND TIDES

Rain (mm) Conditions Temp. °C Tides CITY Weather High H L 1st 2nd 3rd 4th °C SA 0 Plenty of sunshine 33 24 03:18 1.3m 06:15 2.5m 16:42 1.3m 18:44 2.3m Amsterdam Passing clouds 9 SU 0 An a.m. shower 33 24 03:52 1.3m 06:38 2.5m 16:49 1.3m 19:00 2.3m Ankara Scattered clouds 10 MO 0 Sunny 33 24 04:27 1.3m 06:59 2.4m 16:56 1.3m 19:20 2.4m Athens Passing clouds 16 TU 0 Mostly sunny 35 24 05:03 1.3m 07:16 2.3m 17:00 1.3m 19:43 2.4m Auckland Mild 18 WE 1 Mostly sunny 33 23 05:41 1.3m 07:25 2.3m 16:59 1.3m 20:09 2.4m Beijing Scattered clouds 12 TH 0 Some sunshine 32 24 06:25 1.4m 07:15 2.2m 16:52 1.3m 20:38 2.4m Berlin Partly sunny 3 FR 0 Mostly sunny 32 24 06:11 1.5m 07:32 1.4m 16:39 1.2m 21:13 2.4m Buenos Aires Sunny 14 Cairo Sunny 24 Chicago Clear 1 thailand weather (15-3-18) Copenhagen Overcast 1 Dubai Passing clouds 27 Place Temp Hum Conditions Place Temp Hum Conditions Dublin Partly sunny 9 Nakhon Sawan 37 °C 20% Haze Aranyaprathet 32 °C 47% Haze Helsinki Passing clouds -5 Nan 30 °C 37% Haze Ban A To 26 °C 63% Ho Chi Minh City Fair 33 Nang Rong 25 °C 83% Scattered Clds Ban Baen Chado 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Hong Kong Passing clouds 24 Narathiwat 28 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Ban Bang Bamru 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Islamabad Passing clouds 26 Nong Khai 32 °C 43% Haze Ban Bang Duan 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Istanbul Partly sunny 12 Pattani 28 °C 79% Mist Ban Bua Chum 36 °C 32% Haze Jakarta Partly sunny 32 28 °C 70% Partly Cldy Ban Fai Na 30 °C 66% Scattered Clds Pattaya Jerusalem Cool 17 Phayao 29 °C 48% Clear Ban Hua Tho 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Johannesburg Passing clouds 26 Phetchabun 36 °C 33% Haze Ban Ko Thung 35 °C 21% Haze Karachi Clear 32 Phetchaburi 32 °C 66% Clear Ban Krathing Lai 28 °C 70% Partly Cldy Kuala Lumpur Broken clouds 32 Phitsanulok 32 °C 40% Haze Smoke Ban Na Si Nuan 30 °C 66% Haze London Partly sunny 9 Phrae 31 °C 33% Haze Ban Nong Pladuk 30 °C 58% Clear Madrid Broken clouds 9 Phuket 30 °C 66% Scattered Clds Ban Samphan 25 °C 65% Mostly Cldy Manila Partly sunny 31 Prachin Buri 32 °C 52% Haze Bangkok 30 °C 58% Partly Cldy Mexico City Clear 13 Prach. Khirikhan 31 °C 59% Scattered Clds Chaiyaphum 35 °C 51% Haze Moscow Light snow -2 Ranong 32 °C 55% Clear Chanthaburi 32 °C 55% Haze Mumbai Broken clouds 29 30 °C 0% Partly Cldy Chawang 36 °C 35% Scattered Clds Rayong New Delhi Scattered clouds 32 Roi Et 32 °C 56% Scattered Clds Chiang Mai 33 °C 20% Partly Cldy New York Passing clouds 0 Samui 29 °C 74% Partly Cldy Chiang Rai 29 °C 48% Clear Oslo Snow flurries -2 Sattahip 28 °C 70% Partly Cldy Chok Chai 29 °C 75% Haze Paris Mostly cloudy 10 Satun 28 °C 78% Overcast Chumphon 30 °C 65% Light Rain Perth Scattered clouds 22 Songkhla 28 °C 79% Partly Cldy Kam Paeng Phet 35 °C 24% Haze Phnom-Penh Partly cloudy 34 Sukhothai 34 °C 36% Haze Kamalasai 30 °C 66% Haze Rio De Janeiro Broken clouds 26 Suphan Buri 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Kanchanaburi 38 °C 13% Haze Riyadh Clear 32 Surat Thani 30 °C 70% Partly Cldy Khanom 29 °C 74% Partly Cldy Rome Passing clouds 14 25 °C 83% Scattered Clds Khlong Yai 29 °C 74% Scattered Clds Surin San Francisco Passing clouds 9 Tak 37 °C 17% Haze Ko Lanta 24 °C 94% Rain Seoul Fog 9 Takua Pa 29 °C 99% Scattered Clds Ko Samui 29 °C 74% Partly Cldy Shanghai Mostly cloudy 18 Tha Tum 24 °C 74% Scattered Clds Ko Sichang 30 °C 33% Partly Cldy Singapore Partly sunny 32 Tha Wang Pha 30 °C 37% Haze Krabi 31 °C 66% Partly Cldy Stockholm Snow showers -3 Thoen 34 °C 36% Haze Lampang 32 °C 33% Partly Cldy Sydney Partly cloudy 24 Thong Pha Phum 37 °C 20% Haze Lamphun 33 °C 20% Partly Cldy Taibei/Taipei Partly cloudy 21 Thung Chang 30 °C 37% Haze Loei 30 °C 58% Haze Tokyo Mild 17 Trang 24 °C 94% Rain Lop Buri 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Vancouver Partly cloudy 3 Trat 29 °C 74% Scattered Clds Mae Hong Son 36 °C 16% Haze Vientiane Partly cloudy 31 Ubon Ratchathani 30 °C 66% Scattered Clds Mae Sariang 36 °C 24% Smoke Yangon Clear 34 Udon Thani 30 °C 58% Clear Mae Sot 32 °C 40% Clear Zurich Quite cool 5 32 °C 40% Clear Mukdahan 32 °C 62% Scattered Clds Umphang Nakhon Phanom 31 °C 47% Scattered Clds Uttaradit Wichian Buri Nak. Ratchasima 34 °C 33% Mostly Cldy

35 °C 31% Haze 34 °C 39% Scattered Clds

THE ‘NEXT HUA HIN’... is Suang Luang Beach

Just 200 kilometres south of Hua Hin this tranquil, unspoilt area has miles of beautiful beaches, a laid back lifestyle, with property and land prices much, much lower than Hua Hin. Examples: Sea View Hilltop Development 2 storey 4 bed house, 2 bed guesthouse and 4 bungalows. Plenty of space for expansion. Land Area 2 Rai 120 sq.wah Asking price Baht 16,000,000

Large 3 Bed, 2 Bath House Just two minutes from the sea, local restaurants and bars. Land Area 2.5 Rai (4,000 sq.m) House Area 320 sq.m Asking Price Baht 8,950,000 Rarely available Beach land, with road and sea frontage of 70 m. Road to beach 255 m. Land Area approx 5.75 Rai (9,200 Sq.m) Asking Price Baht 9 million per rai.

Interested? Call 081 649 8361 and we will put you in contact with the local agents

sudoku Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9

Puzzle 1 (Easy)

NUT’S POOL SERVICES Great value pool cleaning

(all prices include chemicals) SIZE(m) VISITS/WK MONTHLY PRICE 1.5 x 1.5 2 1000 baht 3x6 2 1500 baht 3x8 2 1800 baht 4 x 7 & up 2-3 from 2000 baht

Puzzle 2 (Hard)

10 years experience in Hua Hin Ask us for a quote Contact 081 614 8728 (Thai/Eng) 081 649 8361 (Eng.) We can also fix problems with your pool - just ask!

Last issue’s solutions Puzzle 1

EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS ‘12 YEARS IN TOWN’

Health (up to 80), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial. Full medical cover for expats worldwide Travel insurance specialist (including as required for Schenghen visas) 250/129 soi 94 opp. Smile Hotel - before railway 085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckracinesiamconsulting@gmail.com www.siam-consulting.asia www.asiaexpatinsurance.com

Puzzle 2

ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here

advertise your business here for less than 100 baht per week (13 issue run)

puzzles codeword

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26 Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

Last Issue’s Solution

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

crossword Across 1 Widow with title or property from her husband (7) 8 Book of the Old Testament (7) 9 Thrust (7) 10 Self-important person (7) 11 Occur as a result (of) (5) 13 Reserved (9) 15 Shoot a pet (anag) — healer (9) 18 Incident (5) 21 District under a bishop’s jurisdiction (7) 22 In fashion (French) (1,2,4) 23 Burdensome (7) 24 Mountain named after a British surveyor general of India (7)

The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19

Down 1 Thrust (5) 2 Rubs clean (5) 3 Do something very thoroughly (2,3,5,3) 4 Begrudge (6) 5 Morally or socially intolerable (6,3,4) 6 Lowest possible amounts (6) 7 Creator of Noddy (6) 12 Loch in the Great Glen (4) 14 At which time (4) 15 More likely than not (4-2) 16 Not enough (3,3) 17 Relaxed (2,4) 19 Conjure up (5) 20 Pay for — minister to — deal with (5)

area 555 Got some great jokes? Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net

••

sir ken dodd R.I.P “The trouble with Freud is that he never played the Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night after Rangers and Celtic both lost.” “I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome - it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.” “I have kleptomania - when it gets bad I take something for it.” “How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows - it’s never been done before.” “Honolulu’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.” “I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months - I don’t like to interrupt her.” “Do I believe in safe sex? Of course I do. I have a handrail around the bed.” “So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn’t make the sound of a coconut.” “Men’s legs have a terribly lonely life - standing in the dark in your trousers all day.” “It’s ten years since I went out of my mind. I’d never go back.”

••

lion king The Lion king of the jungle lives in this big grass house. Fit for a king. Every year for his birthday all the animals in the jungle gather around and make him a throne for his birthday. Every year the lion throws the thrown in his loft in his grass house. This year it’s his 50th birthday. The animals all gather around and discuss what they can do special for his 50th. The monkey says, ‘I know! We’ll get all the emeralds and jewels we have found in the jungle over the years, and make him a throne out of them’. So they do. The lion accepts it. Takes it home, and throws it in the loft with the other 49. Later that night they have a party in the jungle. Bongo’s, fire the whole lot. The lion gets tired. He heads home and falls straight asleep. That night the ceiling collapses, and all the thrones crush the lion to death. The moral of the story is, ‘People in grass house, shouldn’t stow throne’s

••

breaking news West Ham have promised the fans who invaded the pitch will receive the harshest punishment available to them.

Ha pp y B a r

Where HAPPY People Meet

HAPPY HOUR from 3 to 7pm

Chang, Leo, Singha Lite S 50/ L 80 b Small Singha, Tiger, Heineken 60 b Red or White Wine 80 b Spirits (incl. mixer): Bells 60 b, Vodka, Gin Malibu 70 b JW Red, Chivas, Capt. Morgan 80 b JW Black, Kahlua, Kelly’s 100 b

WATCH SIX NATIONS RUGBY & LIVE PREMIER LEAGUE FOOTBALL Located in Borfai between 7-11 and Borfai Temple

“Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does.”

Their season tickets will be renewed for next season

••

mother in law The wife said, “My mother thinks you’re shifty. You never look her in the eye.” I replied, “There’s a practical reason for that.” “What?” “I don’t want to be turned to stone.”

Wink with AWOL 81 649 8361

to hull and back Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong

OPEN 11am - 9pm sunday to thursday (Closed Fridays and Saturdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food daily specials - check our blackboard Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking

Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe

••

Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11 Follow this road for approximately 2 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.

collectible? Better watch your back in Thailand if you have dark skin. Following the recent arrest of 78 illegal immigrants and workers of dark skin in Soi Cowboy, police said that their aim is to minimise the number of crimes committed by criminals who disguise themselves as tourists. It all sounds very racist, although expats will understand, even if they don’t agree with the ethics, that Thailands’ Finest are employing tactics likely to produce the best results. Still, the country wide crack down raises other concerns, such as what about the white skinned criminals, and why the dark skinned ones have never made use of all those skin whitening products so readily available? Back in little old England we have Queen Victoria to blame. Not for hiring Abdul Karim, her Indian servant, but for introducing Royal Wedding memorabilia, which was first produced in 1840 to commemorate her marriage to Prince Albert. Since then a whole industry has grown around producing souvenirs to mark as many Royal events as possible, but while in Victorias day the items were no doubt quite tasteful and well made, now almost anything goes. Thai people would be horrified by the items being sold to commemorate THAT wedding in May, which for the benefit of anyone just waking up from hibernation is between Prince Harry and Meghan. While official souvenirs have had to be produced by the Royal Collections Trust since 1993, the unofficial stuff is worth checking out, if only for it’s sheer tackiness and the odd glaring mistake. A set of placemats for example selling online for 19.99 dollars US shows the wedding date as May 26th, which if correct would surely bring joy to all UK football fans. Other items are marketed as ‘must haves’ to help you enjoy the day even more. ‘If you can’t attend.... the next best thing is sipping English Breakfast (tea) from a mug with Meghan and Harry’s faces on while watching them become husband and wife.’ Really? I’ll give that one a miss thanks, along with the Union flag bearing a picture of H and M ‘for all my flag waving needs’ and the life size cardboard cutouts of the couple so I can watch their wedding with them (66 dollars US - cheaper on Amazon.) I’m sure they won’t notice my absence. Then there are the face masks, candles, bookmarks, scarves, T shirts, and paper dolls with 14 costumes to dress them in. The dolls could actually be a good idea to keep the kids quiet during the FA Cup Final, while the rest will end up broken, lost or in the re-cycling bin. But special mention has to go to

the obligatory tea towel, which gets my award for the tackiest item ever. Along with the most unflattering image imaginable of Harry and Meghan. surrounded by a heart of flowers and doves, the design also includes a skull and cross bones. At 11 pounds 50 pence sterling it could actually prove to be a good long term investment. Kept unused in the original packaging future generations might one day find it a useful historical insight into the downfall of the monarchy. But back to Victorian times, when it wasn’t only Royal memorabilia that grew in popularity. During those last years of the Industrial Revolution working class people were able to do something unheard of before. They could take holidays, or even day trips by train to the coast. And just like visitors to Hua Hin today they wanted souvenirs of their trips to take home. One pottery manufacturer, W H Goss, took the lead in producing miniature pieces bearing the coats of arms of the most visited places. The pieces could be any shape, from vases and jugs to animals and local buildings like Shakespeares Cottage, and when a town didn’t have it’s own coat of arms some other suitable image would be created. Unlike our place mats and paper dolls those small china ornaments stood the test of time. They were collected and carefully displayed in china cabinets across the UK, kept locked to protect the collections from tiny fingers, and can now be found in any reputable antique shop. But do we miss seeing them proudly displayed in the homes of our most elderly aunts? Not a bit. Now - how much were those tea towels again?

On This Day

There’s not much in the way of anniversaries this week, but there are some curious commemorative days in various parts of the world. Amongst others March 16th is National Panda Day, National Artichoke Hearts Day, and Lips Appreciation Day. You really couldn’t make them up.

your stars Banchang Utapao VFW Post 12146

Become A Member Of The Number One Vfw Post In Thailand & The Pacific Areas

www.banchangvfwpost12146org Contact: Dan Morgan (Membership Chairman) danwmorgan@gmail.com or Larry Williams (VFW Service Officer) quam1willi@yahoo.com

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

Gemini May 22 – June 21

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21

You have to stop worrying about what everyone else says, especially nonsense like “You should dress better,” “Nice people don’t do that,” and “Put down the gun and release the hostages.” “dumbass.” You’ve always thought of yourself as the ultimate cat person, but you’ll change your mind this week after meeting the 7 feet of man and whiskers that is Big Meow Johnson.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20

You will soon make a comfortable living exploiting other people’s deep-seated anxieties and crippling fears.

ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20

You’ll show the world just how good an infant car seat can be once you cast aside petty concerns like cost and safety.

It’s not true that opening the dictionary to “loser” shows your picture, but for some reason they’re still using it for “anteater,” “caisson,” and

Sadly, it turns out that of all the people you’ve ever known, the only one who has your best interests at heart is comedian Katt Williams.

For some reason, all your plans for life boil down to, “In the confusion, we get away with both the money and the girl.”

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22

We don’t get to choose the person we fall in love with, as is obvious from the human pile of garbage you’ll be following around with roses and candy this week.

They say if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything, which is good enough for people who aren’t going to have their legs taken off by a road grader this week.

Now that you take a closer look at what’s on display, you can tell exactly why the emperor has no clothes. I mean, Jesus Christ.

You’ll be ruled unfit for trial, but they seem to think you’re just fine for sentencing and execution.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21

You said you’d retired, but $45 and a free bag of groceries isn’t something a person can just walk away from.

english corner

••

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. This week it is.... Below par Beneath the normal or expected condition or standard of something. It is frequently used in relation to a person’s health or sense of well-being. The origins of the expression ‘below par’ are to be found in the financial exchanges of the early 18th century. The word ‘par’ doesn’t usually exist on its own - it is mainly used with ‘under’, ‘below’, ‘above’ or some other qualifier. To understand ‘below par’ and its synonym ‘under par’ we first need to know what ‘par’ means. This meaning isn’t, as is often thought, ‘average’. ‘Par’ is short for ‘par of exchange’ which is the name for the recognised value of the currency of one country in terms of that of another - what we now call the ‘rate of exchange’. When ‘below par’, ‘under par’ and ‘above par’ were first used it was in relation to the movement of currency values in the 1720s. For example, this piece from the Scottish newspaper The Caledonian Mercury, 30th June 1720:

are already fallen below par. Since that time the expressions ‘below par’ and ‘under par’ have taken on a more general meaning of ‘below the average; below what is normally expected’. The terms are frequently applied to a person’s health - when feeling less fit and healthy than normal we might say that we are ‘below par’. The most common use of ‘par’ in modern English is as a reference to someone’s score in golf. In that context ‘par’ is the average or expected number of shots required on a particular hole or for an entire round. It is an oddity of language that, in golf, to be ‘under par’ is to be above par. That is, as the aim is to hit as few shots as possible, a player is doing well if playing under par.

Is there an English phrase or saying that you would like to know more about? Email it to us on submissions@awolonline.net

When the Examination of the Accounts ofthe Bank is finished, Bank Notes are still between 25 and 30 per Cent, under Par. The same newspaper, on 25th August 1720, also referred to ‘below par’ in this item about the value of insurance bonds: Several other towns, are hammering out new Companies of Insurance; but the number begins to clog the market, and some

So you want to advertise in AWOL? Check out these example prices: (all per week based on a 13 week run, paid in advance)

• Sixth page • Quarter page • Half page • Full page

400 baht 450 baht 700 baht (this size) 1200 baht

Longer and shorter runs are available Find out about all our prices in our Media Guide, available on our website, email sales@awolonline.net, or call 081 649 8361

classifieds Business

Profitable running guesthouse (5 guestrooms), Cafe, Restaurant, Bakery in the centre of Hua Hin for rent. Monthly 25.000 baht, take over 2,700,000 baht. Call 083 275 5096

Soi 102 Bar/Restaurant

business for sale. 3 A/C rental rooms (always fully booked), massage room, plus 2 rental motorbikes, pool table, 4 TVs and all equipment. 400,000 THB negotiable. Call Cody or Noi 063 661 4498. ESTABLISHED (10 years) Bar/Restaurant for sale in Nong Kae area close to several hotels. 3 years rolling lease renewable. Low rent. Tenant can live in with 2 upstairs and 1 downstairs bedroom. Price includes all fixtures fittings and equipment making it immediately ready to trade. Baht 500,000. Call 084 376 9438 (English) or 084 359 7545 (Thai). Only serious callers please.

Employment

awol is hiring!

We are looking for two motivated and engaging people to work in the key areas of sales and distribution. Requirements: Thai Nationals, Good understanding of spoken and written English, Well presented, Previous experience in a sales environment useful but not a necessity, Ability to work to deadlines, Own transport (not essential but preferred). The positions will involve selling advertising space in the newspaper and online as the major task, as well as maintaining relations with existing customers, renewals of ads, and coordinating and monitoring the efficient distribution of the paper every week. Conditions: The positions are full time jobs but the hours will be very flexible. The initial salary will vary depending on previous experience and abilities, but will be in the range of 10000 to 15000 baht a month, plus any extra commission earned through performance. There will be sales targets which if achieved will generate this extra income. We anticipate this could result in an income averaging at least 20000 baht a month, with exceptional candidates capable of earning much more. Application: Please send an email to info@awolonline.net with the subject line “Employment Application” and include your reasons for wanting to work for AWOL, your previous work history, your personal details including phone number and address, and any other information you believe is relevant to your application.

SERVICES

driving in thailand? International driving licence valid 5 years 1800 bt. Call 089 530 8771 (Eng)

General

barn shop 10k North of Cha Am, opened 10th November selling collection from 50 years working around Southeast Asia. Thailand village handicraft textiles (silk/cotton). Wonderful Laos tribal weaving, basketry. Own-design costume jewellery, More! BARN full of great Xmas/ New Year gift ideas! Come visit. 081 632 4957 Facebook thebarnshop.chaam General - sports

Golf Society looking for new members. LVGS play Monday & Friday at Lake View. Membership is mixed sex and mixed handicap. Enjoyment is paramount. Regular away trips and social events. Mail: hhlvgs@ gmail.com auto

sell your vehicle with an ad here! Just 300 baht for 13 issues. Property for sale

3BR, 2BA house

for sale Khao Noi Village 2.5m baht. All details available at www.thailandhouseforsale.co.uk. LAND FOR SALE 17 Rai in the Kui Buri area, near National Park and Yang Chum reservoir 499000 baht per rai or 7 million for all. (offers considered) Full Chanote Call 081 614 8728 for more details.

Property wanted

property for Rent

I am looking for a small house or condo for long term rent in Hua Hin city. 2 bedrooms, living room, kitchen, terrace and/or garden. Please make offers tel. 093 694 6245 Wanted

place your WANTED ad here! personals

Struggling with Stress,

Anxiety, or Depression? Are most days full of sadness or worries? Everybody experiences these problems at one time or another. Local councillor available in Hua Hin to help. Email: bob@ dorchesterassociates.co.uk

announcements

make your personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything!

Placing a classified with AWOL

All ads run for a minimum of thirteen weeks/issues. Maximum 25 words for any Single ad; longer ads possible by purchasing/using more ads. Prices: Single ad - 300 baht; Subscriptions: Basic (12 ads) - 1200 baht; Extra (36 ads) - 2700 baht; Extra Plus (72 ads) - 3600 baht. Featured (boxed) ads cost an additional 2 single ads Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: Facebook users can join our Group ‘AWOL Classifieds’ and place ads there for free; Option 4: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 2) . No adverts published (except Facebook) without prior payment. Deadline for inclusion in that week’s issue is Tuesday 6pm. Please notify us on classifieds@awolonline.net or by calling 81 649 8361 if you want an ad removed before it’s due date. No refunds given for removed ads. Payment: Cash at our office; Bank transfer/deposit (online or ATM/ADM) - A/C no. 489-0-4184-2 (KTB Bank), or credit/debit cards via Paypal, or Paypal transfer; Paypal email info@awolonline.net

awol bazaar Life Coaching 4 Men in Bangkok Life Coaching can help with: • Gaining confidence • Letting go of worries / stress • Living life to the fullest. More information 099 1630 747 or male-enhancement-clinicbangkok.com

Post your notice about anything here!

This box for 10 weeks just 800 baht This box for 26 weeks just 1300 baht

advertise in this space from only 160 baht per week

(based on a 6 month run)

Contact: Tel.: 082 298 500 E-mail: luckyrealestatehuahin@gmail.com Website: luckyhuahin.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.

Call to speak to an AA member:

Peo (Swedish) - 86 12 856 Henrik - 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-7-6856 Terryaatha - 91-883-7757 iland.org www. Meetings every day in Hua Hin

AWOL BAZAAR PRICES Blocks of 4 boxes like this from only 40 baht per box/week Blocks of 8 boxes from only 35 baht per box/week Contact us on 081 649 8361 for more details

LAND FOR SALE

17 Rai in the Kui Buri area, near National Park and Yang Chum reservoir 499000 baht per rai or 7 million for all (offers considered) Full Chanote Call 081 614 8728 for more details

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem

Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10am, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12 noon, and every Friday at 8am Contact Add 086 14 7585 Andy 062 1815

money & information overseas calls information

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call. ARGENTINA 1-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 1-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 1-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 1-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 1-999-673-1000 CANADA 1-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 1-999-45-1000 FRANCE 1-999-33-1000 GERMANY 1-999-49-1000 HAWAII 1-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 1-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 1-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 1-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 1-999-39-1000 JAPAN 1-999-811-51 KOREA 1-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 1-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 1-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 1-999-356-1000 MEXICO 1-999-52-1000 NEPAL 1-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 1-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 1-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 1-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 1-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 1-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 1-999-65-0/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 1-999-27-1000 SPAIN 1-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 1-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 1-999-971-1000 U.K. 1-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 1-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers. FREE and cheap CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber. The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Useful Numbers

exchange rates (14-3-18)

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 27 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 5032433 Tessabahn 032 511 47 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654 512543 Railway Station 032 511 73 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 0/1 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 5032 18 3BB 032-900020-1 086-127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 98 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

Currency Baht Algerian Dinar 0.274 Argentine Peso 1.54 Australian Dollar 24.5 Bitcoin 288683 Brazilian Real 9.56 British Pound 43.6 Bulgarian Lev 19.7 Canadian Dollar 24.1 Chilean Peso 0.0517 Chinese Yuan 4.94 Croatian Kuna 5.2 Czech Koruna 1.52 Danish Krone 5.19 Egyptian Pound 1.77 Ethereum 21841 Euro 38.7 Hong Kong Dollar 3.98 Hungarian Forint 0.124 Iceland Krona 0.315 Indian Rupee 0.481 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0023 Iranian Rial 0.0008 Israeli New Shekel 9.1 Japanese Yen 0.293 Korean Won 0.0293 Malaysian Ringgit 8.01 Mexican Peso 1.68 New Zealand Dollar 22.9 Nigerian Naira 0.0878 Norwegian Krone 4.03 Pakistan Rupee 0.282 Philippine Peso 0.599 Polish Zloty 9.18 Qatari Rial 8.56 Romanian Leu 8.29 Russian Ruble 0.547 Saudi Riyal 8.31 Serbian Dinar 0.327 Singapore Dollar 23.8 South African Rand 2.65 Local Consular Sri Lanka Rupee 0.2 Representatives Swedish Krona 3.8 Swiss Franc 33.1 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.07 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 8.06 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham 8.49 FINNISH US Dollar 31.2 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.2 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, chrs@tourdeasia.org regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

balloon chasers

••

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email submissions@awolonline. net or post it on our Balloon Chasers Facebook group. recently added and coming soon

father teds, damnoernkasem road;

Saturday 17th March - Make sure to celebrate St Patrick’s Day this year in Hua Hin’s favorite Irish Pub on Soi 61. They have numerous live acts and 2 pigs on a Spit, from 2pm, Loads of free merchandise to give away, Green Beer, Guinness, Kilkenny, Magners, Jameson, the lot. As always, Ted’s has it covered. Make sure to book a table early as they are close to full. double d, Soi 6. Every Friday free pizza when purchasing a drink. the palm bistro, soi 88. Every Sunday Kids eat Free! For every Sunday Roast ordered under 12’s get a kids Sunday Roast free. Regular offers

father teds, Damnoernkasem Road.

pub quizzes

Live music, special food and drink offers, draught Guinness, something king bar, Soi Binthabaht. Quiz happening every night! See add on p2 second Monday of every month (next for details. one Monday 9th April 2018 at 7 pm) . johnnie walker, soi selekam/ Free entry, food and prizes - hosted by poolsuk road. Happy Hour every day Hawk - all welcome. from 9am to 8pm. Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab. nany’s cafe, soi 88. Friday special - Fish, Third Tuesday of the month 7pm - 10pm. chips and mushy peas 139 bt, Atlantic All video home compiled quiz with 8 cod fillet chips and mushy peas 220 bt. rounds including audio visual rounds. Also Leo draft now available small(half) Teams of up to 6 Free half time food 55 bt, large(pint) 75 bt and free entry but minimum bar bill 200 passport cafe, Samorphrong. Now Baht per person. Bookings essential as open for Breakfasts, Freshly baked there is limited space 084 376 9438 or go bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad to our Facebook page. Next quiz on 20th March 2018. p9) PIT’S CAFE, Dusitland 8 Soi 94 . Every tk roadhouse, Khao Takiab. First Saturday from 2-6pm, All You Can Tuesday of every month ‘The Best Quiz Drink draught Leo. Ladies 300 baht, In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free food. Men 400 baht red piano, soi kanjanomai. Happy British style Hour every day from 5 - 7pm BOGOF. Sunday Roasts: the palm bistro, soi 88. Join their Sunday Lunch Club and start earning a Andreanna’s, Khao Takiab Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 free Sunday Roast (see ad p3)

siam handlebar, Phetkasem Road Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102. The 99 baht (opp. airport). Breakfast now available Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 breakfast is Back! FREE Sunday Roast seven days a week from 9am to 12 noon. ian’s restaurant, khao takiab (099 - spend 250 baht and get a free Sunday Ladies Night every Saturday. from 8 to 497 3040) Roast (see ad p2). Available from 2 to 11pm first drink free, 50% thereafter Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam 8pm. All You Can Eat Chicken Wings (wine, small beer, Spy, soft drinks, millers hua hin, soi 91 and Kebabs every Friday from 5pm to mixers, ice only) Nany’s Cafe, Soi 88 7pm when spend 200 bt. toon’s bar and restaurant, soi 6 Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 double d, Soi 6. Happy Hour every day borfai. Premier League Happy Hour - Orchid Restaurant 94 Soi 94 from 2 - 8pm. Buy 2 get 1 free on all during matches get 3 for 2 on all small Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) small domestic beers, Samsong + mixer domestic beers. Now open every day 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and from 3pm serving a wide range of Thai Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083

Heineken 65 baht, large domestic beers 70 baht. el murphy’s, soi selekam. Murfs Happy Times from 7am to 7pm Pints of: Guinness 189 bt, Old Speckled Hen 210 bt, Magners and Stowfor cider 180 bt. All day Chang and Leo Large 90 bt, small 49 bt.

and Western food until 9pm, and great 311 1787 prices all day every day on drinks until Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab. late Bookings only 084 376 9438 Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd north along klong road. Turn left Zab Wer, Soi 112

and 200m on left.). Large beers at great prices. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E)

It costs nothing, zilch, zero to promote your special offer, party, regular event or other promotion in Balloon Chasers! Just email submissions@awolonline.net or post it on our Facebook group

events with surf 102fm events

Ongoing

Rescue Paws is a non-profit organization based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray animal population. Find out more on their website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page RescuePawsThailand Trash Hero Hua Hin now every Sunday at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their eponymous Facebook page for weekly details HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking is your hobby you can join an international group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Tel. Robert 0983 562290 Dusit Thani Hua Hin Soccer Academy: exercise and professional football coaching for kids. Hua Hin Hash house Harriers every Saturday around the area. (see p18) Cicada Market and Performing Arts Fair. The Upcoming Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat evenings from Inform awol or Surf fm of your sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from 4pm; charitable or non commercial event and Dining, shopping, art, performances, and we will announce it here films in a beautiful park-like setting. A great place to spend an evening Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102 FM (surf102fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or SurfNaN Get on the air! Go along any Friday morning to the Siam Bakery at the Marriott to have a chat or just watch the guys do the Breakfast Show between 7 and 10 am.

surf 102 fm schedule • The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 7:00 - 10:00 • Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 9:00 - 12:00 Sun. 15:00 - 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 • “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Tues., Thu. 20:00-22:00 • LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed.19:30 Fri. 20:15 • Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 22:00 Sun. 0:00 • The Mellow Show with Gary Zeipe Sun. 22:00 - 0:00 • Soft Surf Mon -Thurs, Sat. 22:00 - 1:00 • BBC News headlines every hour • BBC News Sat., Sun. 7:00 - 8:00 Every day 19:00 - 19:30

Brand New Townhouses For Sale near Pranburi Hospital

• 3 three storey townhouses • Pranburi • Large Parking Area in front • 4 Bedrooms • 3 Bathrooms

Price between 2.7 and 2.9 million baht For more information or to view the properties call 081 614 8728 (Eng/Thai)

weird news

••

belgium Fancy drinking wine in a giant anus? Or spending the night? Now is your chance Ever wished you could spend the night in a huge anus? Or even drink wine in a big bum? Well, now is the time. In Belgium a Dutch artist has built an entire hotel in the shape of an anus in a field. Joep Van Lieshou has called his bizarre creation CasAnus Hotel and even includes a sculpture of a giant intestine complete with veins. There is even a bed, a shower and central heating and guests can stay the night at the exhibit at the Verbeke Sculpture Park. Wine tasting has already been organised in the hotel with visitors being urged to taste glasses of Emilia-Romagna. Event organiser Alice Brown told Vice: ‘After ten years of organizing “classic” wine tastings, often very boring for both wine producers and visitors, we started thinking of different ways of experimenting.’ The sculpture park attracts over 20,000 visitors a year and is home to hundreds of weird and wonderful pieces of art. The Hotel CasAnus is the latest attraction but a price has not yet been put on the giant anus. The owners of Verbeke Sculpture Park maintain the giant anus is not to be seen as ‘an oasis’. However, if wine-tasters beware, the bouquet of the wine might be overpowered if there is a gust of wind through the giant anus.

••

uk Pub responds to negative Facebook reviews by getting them printed on staff uniforms A new pub has hit back at moaning customers complaining on social media by printing their negative comments on staff t-shirts. The Assembly in Urmston, Greater Manchester, opened three weeks ago and owners Sean and Sophie Robinson were shocked to see people complaining about the prices of their craft beers on Facebook. One of the comments complained their father had been ‘financially assaulted’ at the bar for having to pay £6.70 a pint whilst others branded the owners ‘hipsters’. Prices of some specialist beers can reach an eye-watering £7 for a pint but Sean argues customers do not have to drink there or pay the price if they don’t want to. The 32-year-old said: ‘We saw it all kicking off in the local Facebook group about our bar. We have only been open three weeks and the feedback at the bar is 99% positive. You can either ignore it and stay quiet, you can defend yourself and get in too deep or you can take the humorous side.

So I went to the t-shirt printers.’ ‘I think people are seeing the funny side of it. A few of the people who have their complaints on the shirt messaged us and said they had been in a few more times since and there were no hard feelings.’ ‘A majority of our customers want to try more than one or two beers and they make their way around the board. ‘As our customers want to try a few beers they just have a third of a pint so they can taste it. We sell all of our drinks in thirds, halves and pints. ‘Obviously the prices reflect the alcoholic content and other quality factors. We’re still cheaper than some places in the city centre.’ The dad-of-one hopes the t-shirts will show complainers how their comments are public and can ultimately be damaging for a small business. Sean said: ‘The t-shirt is also a lesson to remind people that they are posting in a public forum. ‘You’re saying it in a group with over 40,000 members and people forget that it is public. ‘It can be damaging to a business. It only took two days for someone to complain about the price of the beer.’

••

uk National Trust forced to apologise for its great ‘cream before jam’ Cornwall blunder The National Trust has committed a cardinal sin in Cornwall by publishing a cream tea advert with the cream on the scone first. Devon and Cornwall have been in an age old battle over which comes first, the cream or the jam, and the National Trust advert has been branded ‘shocking’ and disgusting’. Lanhydrock House and Garden posted the mouth watering picture on Facebook for Mother’s Day and ‘Cornish cream team’ came out in force with hundreds of people complaining. Barbara Pearson commented: ‘Are you in Cornwall? You have just committed a sin, CREAM ON TOP.’ Ros Alind said: ‘That makes me feel sick – Lanhydrock you are a Cornish place, jam first!’ Wendy Pollard added: ‘Oh god!!! Jam then cream!!!! Think my mum would disown me if I gave her this cream tea.’ Lanhydrock House mounted a rearguard action apologising for its full fat blunder on its Facebook account. They said: ‘We’d like to sincerely apologise for any offence caused by a recent scone-shot shown on the page. The member of staff responsible has been reprimanded and marched back over the Tamar. Rest assured, your mothers are safe here.’ However, the picture included a scone with sultanas in it, which caused more complaints, but that is a story for another day.

Contacting AWOL Telephone:

081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) Office:

Email:

info@awolonline.net Website:

www.awolonline.net 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6 Borfai, Facebook: Hua Hin, 77110 AWOLexpat Prachuap Kiri Khan

LOCAL SPORTS hua hin city F.C

hash house harriers

Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011 playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab. results sunday 11th march 2018 Look E-San 3 - 2 Hua Hin City

A drinking Club with a running & walking Problem! The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Drive SOUTH on Phet Kasem Road and Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays make a U-turn then head NORTH and for around an hour’s run/walk in the turn LEFT onto Chom Phol Road (Route surrounding countryside followed by #1010) located between the 206 & 205 a social gathering. If you would like Km marker. Drive 7.2 km to cross roads to come along then please visit our and turn LEFT (HHH sign). Drive 1.3 Website http://chaamandhuahinhhh. km and turn LEFT (HHH sign) and drive FIXTURES c o n s e n t i n g a d u l t s t h a i l a n d . c o m 300 m to car park. sunday 18th march 2018 or Facebook page https://www. From Cha-Am: via the bypass (Route 37) Hua Hin City v IPE Samut Sakhon 17:30 facebook.com/Cha-Am-Hash-House- and Chom Phol Road (Route 1010) Harriers-2035982359964537 for full Google Map link: https://goo.gl/maps/ thai League 4 details and directions. Please note that jYFCeCa3NEw Western Region table Team P GD PTS people attending and participating do so Drive SOUTH on the bypass to Chom entirely at their own risk. Phol Road traffic lights and turn LEFT 1 Nakhon Pathom United 4 +13 12 NEXT RUN Saturday 10th March on to Chom Phol Road (#10101) and 2 Samutsongkhram 4 +3 8 2018, meet @ 4:30 for a 5:00 pm drive 1.2 km to cross roads and turn 3 Look E-San 5 −4 6 start. RIGHT (HHH sign). Drive 1.3 km and Cha-Am Hash House Harriers (CAH3) turn LEFT (HHH sign) and drive 300 m 4 Huahin City 4 0 5 Run #331 5 Chainat United 5 −2 5 to car park. Hares: Blowjob & Ding a Ling Any queries then please call Rubber 6 IPE Samut Sakhon United 5 −3 5 Location: Haunted House on the Hill. Duck on 095 959 6114. 7 Nonthaburi 4 −3 4 Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ 8 Chainat Hornbill U-23[4] 4 −4 4 fiNigDgRdv32 HASH TAX: ฿150 for Beer Drinkers, 9 Assumption United 3 0 3 GPS Coordinates: N 12.655755, E ฿50 for teetotallers. First time visitors, 99.892000 (N 12 39.343, E 99 53.520) virgins and kids under 12 run free. Please DIRECTIONS TO RUN SITE: put your tax payment in an envelope with From Hua Hin: via Phet Kasem (Route name(s) and amount enclosed clearly 4) and Chom Phol Road (Route 37). printed on it. Drop the envelope into tax Google Map link: https://goo.gl/ collection box on tax table. Envelopes maps/555d6SX68492 and pens are available at the tax table. Drive NORTH on Phet Kasem Road and If you are a visitor or virgin, please jot turn LEFT onto Chom Phol Road (Route down your name on a piece of paper and #1010) located between the 206 & 205 drop it into the tax box. Km marker. Drive 7.2 km to cross roads IN ADDITION there MAY BE a Fun and turn LEFT (HHH sign). Drive 1.3 Run/Walk on Wednesday 14th March km and turn LEFT (HHH sign) and drive 2018 from the same place as above 300 m to car park. and at the same time. This will be the From Cha-Am: via Phet Kasem (Route same trail but in reverse. Please check 4) and Chom Phol Road (Route 37). our website https://h2h3-cah3.weebly. Google Map link: https://goo.gl/ com/misdirections---fun-run.html for maps/555d6SX68492 confirmation and further details.

advertise here for just 450 baht per week (when booked for 13 issues) Contact AWOL now on 081 649 8361

local golf Butterfly Rock Golf society

RESULTS 12th March 2018 Banyan Stableford Singles 31 entered 1st Martin Saunders 43 pts (16) 2nd Andrew Reid 37 pts (11) 3rd Seppo Rintala 37 pts (12) 4th Anna Kozanchuk 36 pts (25) 7th March 2018 Lake View AB Singles Stroke Play 20 entered 1st Lee Pape 85 - 14 = 71 2nd Simon Seymour 81 - 08 = 73 3rd Mark Simpson 86 - 11 = 75 4th Anna Kozanchuk 101 - 25 = 76 Fixtures 19th March 2018 Majestic Creek Medal 21st March 2018 Lake View Stableford palm hills friday roll up

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you are interested in joining in, and thanks to Ronnie for the results. 9th march 2018 No scores this week - Rain stopped play!!

Hua Hin Golf Society

saensuk Golf Society

Results 13th March 2018 Black Mountain (Black Mountain West East) Stableford 28 entered 1st Kurt Norgaard 41 pts (30) 2nd Hubert Maldonado 39 pts (16) 3rd Hallbjorn Stenhaug 38 pts (17) 4th Paul Moran 37 pts (11)

Results 12th March 2018 Springfield C & A Splinter Cell Stableford 10 entered 1st Phillipe Tamin 37 pts (20) 2nd Anette Hellstrom 37 pts (21) 3rd Roy Sweetland 30 pts (06) 4th Yvonne Ronnestam 29 pts (26)

13th March 2018 Black Mountain (Black Mountain West East) Ladies Stableford 11 entered 1st Renu Phokchaturat 37 pts (27) 2nd Wan Khongjam 36 pts (17) 3rd Beate Wallace 31 pts (15) 4th Siripen Nu Jannin 31 pts (14) fixtures 20th March 2018 Majestic Stableford 23rd March 2018 Banyan Bright Dawn Charity Scramble

7th March 2018 Banyan B A The Chairmans Day Trophy - Medal 58 entered 1st Bruno Vaguet 84 - 17 = 67 2nd Pelle Petersson 78 - 09 = 69 3rd Lasse Matsson 78 - 07 = 71 4th Anders Hagstedt 78 - 06 = 72 fixtures Monday/Friday Springfield Splinter Cell Stableford 20th - 22nd March Away Days Khanchanaburi

lake view members club

Results 9th March 2018 Course AB

cha am golf club

Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES No information available at press time

Rained Off 12th March 2018 Stableford. Course AB 1st Greg Smith (22) 38pts 2nd Gary Engelman (13) 38pts 3rd Mike O’Brien (16) 37pts 4th Doug East (13) 36pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday

HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

results week 12 6th march 2018 Blue Lagoon 7 - 1 Golden Star Kitchen JW Black 4 - 5 Johnnie Walker Red League Table Team Johnnie Walker Red Blue Lagoon Johnnie Walker Blck Golden Star Kitchen

P 11 11 11 11

W 8 7 5 2

D 0 0 0 0

L 3 4 6 9

+/17 12 -1 -28

Pts 16 14 10 4

fixtures The season is over. One week’s results are still not available, so table is not yet final. Details of a new season will be published here when available.

Crossword Solution

Here is last issue’s Crossword solution.

pool leagues thursday friendly Pool League

hua hin/khao takiab ladies Pool League

hippo friday pro League

results Week 24 12th march 2018 Mausi Bar v Patty’88 n/a Muan..Super v Aonzy n/a Silver Fox..Kh v High Five n/a Sunset Boulevard v Silver Fox n/a The Connection v Tk Roadhouse n/a The Squealing Pig v Master Cue n/a Tore’s Bar v Muan Bar n/a

results week 19 8th march 2018 Bar 80 Saloon 15 - 5 Mr Dan’s 88 Hua Hin Bar 10 - 10 Jaew Bar Noum Bar 2 - 18 MasterCues Bar Sabai Bar 5 - 15 Nalee Bar Sage 4 - 16 Mint Bar Silver Fox Wolverines 14 - 6 Mausi Bar Squealing Pig 8 - 12 Silver Fox

Fixtures Week 25 19th march 2018 Aonzy v Tore’s Bar High Five v Muan..Super Mausi Bar v The Squealing Pig Muan Bar v Sunset Boulevard Patty’88 v Silver Fox..Kh Silver Fox v The Connection Tk Roadhouse v Master Cue

Fixtures week 21 22nd march 2018 Bar 80 Saloon v Nalee Bar Hua Hin Bar v Mausi Bar Jaew Bar v MasterCues Bar Noum Bar v Mint Bar Sage v Silver Fox Silver Fox Wolverines v Mr Dan’s 88 The Connection Cafe v Sabai Bar

Team Muan..Super Muan Bar Master Cue Squealing Pig Sunset B’vard The Connection Tk Roadhouse Patty’88 Silver Fox Silver Fox..Kh Tore’s Bar Mausi Bar High Five Aonzy

P 20 20 20 20 18 20 18 19 19 19 20 20 19 20

W 16 14 15 11 9 9 10 8 9 7 4 5 3 1

D 1 4 2 3 4 4 1 4 0 1 3 1 2 0

L 3 2 3 6 5 7 7 7 10 11 13 14 14 19

+/136 140 108 40 40 24 36 -12 18 -34 -42 -70 -94 -290

Pts 33 32 32 25 22 22 21 20 18 15 11 11 8 2

Team MasterCues Bar Nalee Bar Hua Hin Bar Bar 80 Saloon Mint Bar Squealing Pig SF Wolverines Silver Fox Sabai Bar Noum Bar The Connection Sage Jaew Bar Mr Dan’s 88 Mausi Bar

P 17 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 17 18 17 17 18

W 17 16 12 12 9 11 8 7 8 5 5 3 4 4 1

D 0 0 1 1 2 2 1 3 3 1 1 2 2 3 0

L 0 2 5 5 7 5 9 8 7 12 11 13 11 10 17

+/150 118 52 48 38 24 4 -8 -18 -50 -40 -64 -58 -48 -148

Fixtures week 11 23rd march 2018 Pit’s Devils v Pit’s Pirates Lucky Shot Shooters v Diamond Bar Lucky Shot Jumanjis v LS Pin Hunters Pit’s Rangers v Lucky Shot Tigers League tablE

League tablE

results week 9 9th march 2018 Lucky Shot Tigers v Pit’s Devils n/a Lucky Shot Jumanjis 1 - 8 Diamond Bar Pit’s Rangers 4 - 5 LS Pin Hunters Pit’s Pirates 6 - 3 Lucky Shot Shooters

Pts 279 266 231 229 219 216 194 193 180 166 161 156 151 147 108

Team Pit’s Rangers Lucky Shot Tigers Pit’s Devils Diamond Bar Pit’s Pirates LS Pin Hunters Lucky Shot Jumanjis Lucky Shot Shooters

P W L +/9 6 3 19 8 6 2 20 8 6 2 14 9 3 6 3 9 3 6 1 9 3 6 -13 9 3 6 -25 9 1 8 -19

Pts 12 12 12 6 6 6 6 2

Hua Hin Khao Takiab Cool POOL LEAGUE

results week 3 9th march 2018 High Five 7 - 16 Take 5 Sports Bar JNB 9 - 14 Exotic Bar Muan Bar 10 - 13 Jungle Juice TK Special 13 - 10 Nok Bar The Connection 7 - 16 TK Roadhouse FIXTURES No matches next week

League tablE Team Exotic Bar Take 5 Jungle Juice TK Roadhouse TK Special JNB Bar The Connection Nok Bar Muan Bar High Five

P W D L +/- Pts 3 3 0 0 23 46 3 3 0 0 19 44 3 3 0 0 13 41 3 2 0 1 13 41 3 2 0 1 -3 33 3 1 0 2 -3 33 3 1 0 2 -3 33 3 0 0 3 -17 26 3 0 0 3 -19 25 3 0 0 3 -23 23

leagues not currently running

Details of new seasons will be printed here when available. Organisers please contact AWOL with any information. Hua Hin Pool Billiard League Friends of Hua Hin Wednesday Pool League hua hin khao takiab super Pool League friday team League

pool leagues HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE

NWPL New Wednesday POOL LEAGUE

results week 10 14th march 2018 All Nations GH 7 - 12 JW Black Bentho Bar 11 - 8 N&G bar Bluebell bar 8 - 11 Limelight JW Red 10 - 9 King Bar Jungle Juice L’pards 12 - 7 Coconuts bar Pk Pthr Cato 5 - 14 Jungle Juice Cheetas Tiger Bar 15 - 4 Booz Bar

results week 6 14th march 2018 BRGC@Bar80 v Mr Dan’s 88 n/a Breeze Bar 14 - 8 Noum Bar Fame 13 - 9 Jaew Bar Home Bar One 16 - 6 Sage Squealing Pig 12 - 10 Sabai Bar Tores Bar 13 - 9 Pockets Tree Bar 15 - 7 Home Bar Two

fixtures week 11 21st march 2018 Coconuts bar v Booz Bar Jungle Juice Cheetas v All Nations GH JW Black v Bentho Bar King Bar v Jungle Juice Leopards Limelight v JW Red N&G bar v Bluebell bar Pink Panther Cato v Tiger Bar

FIXTURES week 7 21st march 2018 Home Bar One v Tree Bar Jaew Bar v Home Bar Two Mr Dan’s 88 v Fame Noum Bar v BRGC@Bar80 Pockets v Breeze Bar Sabai Bar v Tores Bar Sage v Squealing Pig

League tablE

Team N&G bar JW Red JW Black Limelight Bentho Bar Jungle Juice Cheetas King Bar Tiger Bar Jungle Juice L’pards All Nations GH Pink Panther Cato Bluebell bar Coconuts bar Booz Bar

P 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10

W 8 8 8 8 7 6 5 5 5 3 3 2 1 1

L 2 2 2 2 3 4 5 5 5 7 7 8 9 9

+/- Pts 36 16 32 16 30 16 26 16 22 14 26 12 8 10 4 10 0 10 -24 6 -34 6 -26 4 -36 2 -64 2

Team P W D L Sabai Bar 6 5 0 1 Fame 6 5 0 1 Home Bar One 6 5 0 1 Tree Bar 5 4 0 1 Squealing Pig 6 3 1 2 Home Bar Two 6 3 0 3 Breeze Bar 6 3 0 3 BRGC@Bar80 5 2 1 2 Noum Bar 6 2 1 3 Mr Dan’s 88 5 2 0 3 Tores Bar 6 2 0 4 Jaew Bar 6 1 1 4 Sage 6 0 1 5 Pockets 5 0 1 4

hippo wednesday Pool League

results week 6 14th march 2018 Lucky Shot 1 10 - 9 Tiki Bar Pit’s Cafe 2 11 - 8 Lucky Shot 2 Top of 94 Bar 6 - 13 Pit’s Cafe 1 Diamond Bar 10 - 9 Infinity FIXTURES week 7 21st march 2018 Pit’s Cafe 2 v Lucky Shot 1 Lucky Shot 2 v Top of 94 Bar Diamond Bar v Pit’s Cafe 1 Infinity v Tiki Bar league table

+/- Pts 36 15 34 15 30 15 26 12 8 10 -2 9 -12 9 6 7 -2 7 -4 6 -18 6 -10 4 -56 1 -36 -2

Team Lucky Shot 1 Pit’s Cafe 1 Tiki Bar Infinity Lucky Shot 2 Pit’s Cafe 2 Diamond Bar Top of 94 Bar

P 6 6 5 6 6 5 5 3

W 5 5 3 2 2 2 2 0

L 1 1 2 4 4 3 3 3

+/30 22 23 4 -4 -19 -21 -35

Pts 10 10 6 4 4 4 4 0

102 & 88 saturday POOL LEAGUE

FIXTURES week 1 17th march 2018 Bobby’s Babes v Bobby’s Boys High 5 v Banana Bar Home Bar v Sage Mucky Duck v Silver Fox League tablE

Disclaimer All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof ’ stories intended as humour. No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means. AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 81 614 8728 Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6 Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110 THAILAND.

Team Banana Bar Bobby’s Babes Bobby’s Bar High 5 Home Bar Mucky Duck Sage Silver Fox

P W D L 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

+/0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Pts 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

pool leagues tuesday POOL LEAGUE soi 94

hua hin star Pool League

results week 16 13th march 2018 Arilds Bar 9 - 11 Home Bar Two Home Bar One 14 - 6 Nalee Bar Eight Nalee Bar Nine 12 - 8 MausiBar Tore Bar 15 - 5 Na-Na Bar Tree-Bar 5 - 15 Tiki-Bar Connections Bar - no game FIXTURES week 17 20th march 2018 Home Bar Two v Connections Bar MausiBar v Arilds Bar Nalee Bar Eight v Nalee Bar Nine Na-Na Bar v Home Bar One Tiki-Bar v Tore Bar Tree Bar - no game League tablE Team Tiki-Bar Home Bar One Nalee Bar Nine Tree-Bar Home Bar Two Connections Bar Arilds Bar Nalee Bar Eight Tore Bar Na-Na Bar MausiBar

P 15 13 14 15 15 14 14 15 14 14 15

W 13 10 11 7 8 8 5 4 4 3 1

D 0 0 1 3 1 0 2 1 1 1 0

L 2 3 2 5 6 6 7 10 9 10 14

+/124 72 34 12 10 8 -12 -52 -46 -70 -80

Pts 238 186 180 173 172 160 146 133 126 112 112

Please note that Forget Me Not have left the league

results week 2 11th march 2018 division 1 Brian Nuttall 7 - 5 “Job” “Wor” 5 - 6 Non Wongchiang Peter Johnson 7 - 6 Jayson De Chavez “Jae” 2 - 6 Lieven Praet “Kwan” 7 - 4 “Thong” Andreas “Andy” Knabe 1 - 6 Claus Nielsen Tom Talgo 6 - 4 “Hampi” Korn Aksonsil 6 - 6 “Gent” Division 2 Theo “Black Adder” Widmer 2 - 5 Brian Callihoo Paul Gulbrandsen 1 - 5 Patrick Laureyns Steve Reeves 5 - 1 “Thinna” Liam Werrett 5 - 1 Darren Downs “Bernard” 4 - 5 Phil D “Dang” 5 - 2 Marko Weissmann “Nok” 0 - 5 “Joy” Robin “Robbie” Kirkby 0 - 5 Den D

fixtures week 3 18th march 2018 division 1 Lieven Praet v Arnon “Non” Wongchiang Brian Nuttall v “Kwan” “Gent” v Claus Nielsen “Thong” v Peter Johnson Andreas “Andy” Knabe v Tom Talgo “Hampi” v Jayson De Chavez Korn Aksonsil v “Wor” “Job” v “Jae” Division 2 “Joy” v Patrick Laureyns “Dang” v Theo “Black Adder” Widmer Steve Reeves v “Bernard” “Thinna” v Darren Downs Marko Weissmann v Robin “Robbie” Kirkby Brian Callihoo v Liam Werrett “Nok” v Den D Paul Gulbrandsen v Phil Dodd

division 1 League tablE

division 2 League tablE

Team P W Claus Nielsen 2 2 “Kwan” 2 2 Lieven Praet 2 2 Peter Johnson 2 2 Korn Aksonsil 2 1 Brian Nuttall 2 1 Tom Talgo 2 1 “Jae” 2 1 “Job” 2 1 Andreas “Andy” Knabe 2 1 “Gent” 2 1 Arnon “Non” 2 1 Wongchiang Jayson De Chavez 2 0 “Hampi” 2 0 “Thong” 2 0 “Wor” 2 0

L 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

+/- Pts 5 4 4 4 4 4 3 4 7 2 2 2 0 2 0 2 -1 2 -2 2 -3 2 -6 2

2 2 2 2

-2 -2 -4 -5

0 0 0 0

+/56 40 54 28 22 -14 -24 -30 -30 -102

Pts 177 167 164 158 156 127 124 121 109 77

hua hin soi 80 tuesday Pool League

results week 14 13th march 2018 Bar 80 Nomads 14 - 4 Bar 80 Saloon Exotic Bar 10 - 8 Hut Bar Mona Bar 11 - 7 Nok Bar 2 Nok Bar 1 v Ma Di Bar n/a Som Bar 9 - 9 Mint Bar FIXTURES week 15 20th march 2018 Bar 80 Saloon v Nok Bar 1 Hut Bar v Som Bar Ma Di Bar v Exotic Bar Mint Bar v Mona Bar Nok Bar 2 v Bar 80 Nomads

League tablE Team Bar 80 Nomads Mint Bar Nok Bar 1 Exotic Bar Mona Bar Som Bar Bar 80 Saloon Nok Bar 2 Ma Di Bar Hut Bar

P 14 14 13 14 14 14 14 14 13 14

W 11 9 10 8 9 2 5 3 2 1

D 1 3 0 2 1 4 0 4 3 0

L 2 2 3 4 4 8 9 7 8 13

Team Den D Phil Dodd “Bernard” Liam Werrett Steve Reeves “Joy” Brian Callihoo Patrick Laureyns “Thinna” Darren Downs Paul Gulbrandsen Marko Weissmann “Dang” “Nok” Theo “Black Adder” Widmer Robin “Robbie” Kirkby

P W 2 2 2 2 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 0

L 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2

+/- Pts 9 4 5 4 4 2 3 2 3 2 2 2 0 2 0 2 0 2 -1 2 -1 2 -2 2 -2 2 -4 2 -7 0

-9

football fixtures

english premier league table

(all times Thailand)

saturday 17th march 2018 FA CUP SIXTH ROUND Swansea City v Tottenham H. 19:15 PREMIER LEAGUE Bournemouth v West Brom 15:00 Huddersfield T. v Crystal Palace 15:00 Stoke City v Everton 15:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Fulham v Queens Park Rangers 19:30 Barnsley v Millwall 20:00 Birmingham City v Hull City 15:00 Brentford v Middlesbrough 15:00 Bristol City v Ipswich Town 15:00 Leeds United v Sheffield Weds 15:00 Norwich City v Reading 15:00 Sheffield United v Nottingham F. 15:00 Sunderland v Preston North End 15:00 Wolves v Burton Albion 15:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP St Johnstone v Hibernian 02:45 Aberdeen v Dundee 15:00 Hearts v Partick Thistle 15:00 Rangers v Kilmarnock 15:00 Ross County v Hamilton Acad.15:00 sunday 18th march 2018 FA CUP SIXTH ROUND Manchester United v Brighton 02:45 Wigan Athletic v Southampton 20:30 Leicester City v Chelsea 23:30 PREMIER LEAGUE Liverpool v Watford 00:30 CHAMPIONSHIP Bolton Wanderers v Aston Villa 00:30 Derby County v Cardiff City 19:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Motherwell v Celtic 21:15 thursday 22nd march 2018 INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES Liechtenstein v Andorra 00:00 Algeria v Tanzania 21:00 friday 23rd march 2018 INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES Malta v Luxembourg 00:00 Denmark v Panama 02:00 Faroe Islands v Latvia 02:00 Japan v Mali 19:20 Azerbaijan v Belarus 23:00 Russia v Brazil 23:00 Norway v Australia 00:00

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Team Man City Man Utd Tottenham Liverpool Chelsea Arsenal Burnley Leicester Everton Watford Brighton Bournemouth Newcastle Swansea Huddersfield West Ham Southampton Crystal Palace Stoke West Brom

P 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30

GD PTS 65 81 35 65 34 61 34 60 25 56 14 48 1 43 2 40 -14 37 -11 36 -12 34 -13 33 -10 32 -17 31 -25 31 -21 30 -15 28 -20 27 -28 27 -24 20

fantasy premier league - awol challenge

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

Team Carthorses Are Go Mr. Cha Aming Colonial Lost Cafe FC ROCA RentMyThaiVilla AC Clacton HH Jambos Wanderlust United Portsmoth city JR Brutd S.C Atletico Pathetico Dannyxcollinz AWOL Wanderers Frankies 11 Hua hin jambos Pink Panther AFC Shortimeagain #›ﬂ°‡ ~ÏÎÔﬁØÌ

GW 35 38 26 31 29 35 42 35 55 43 60 27 19 23 40 41 77 42 1

TOT 1708 1684 1672 1637 1631 1623 1612 1561 1514 1473 1472 1459 1454 1445 1363 1361 1332 1261 221

Featured Game

saturday 17th march 2018 FA CUP SIXTH ROUND Swansea City v Tottenham H. 19:15 The home side’s recent league form has been excellent, but they are still in the relegation dogfight, so this tie may come as a welcome relief from that. For Spurs the FA Cup represents their only chance of a trophy this season, and they must fancy their chances given the remaining teams, and the absence of Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City. However, their season has started to fall apart, and injuries to both Kane and Alli at the weekend leave them weaker, despite the admirable form of Son, Eriksen and the rest of the team, and Swansea will look at this as an unexpected opportunity. This will be close, but we think Swansea will take advantage of both their home advantage and the weakened opposition and scrape through.

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spit the dummy Sky Sports announce Jamie Carragher will commentate wearing spit hood

••

uk Sky Sports has announced that pundit Jamie Carragher will be forced to wear a spit hood during future broadcasts. The former Liverpool player was filmed spitting into a car being driven by a rival fan, raising concerns that sitting him opposite Gary Neville for any period of time could lead to Neville being drowned in a volley of sputum. Sky Sports producer Simon Williams told us, “Jamie is passionate about his football, and Liverpool in particular, and sometimes that leads to him going a little over the top, but we absolutely do not condone spitting, and so we’ve taken adequate precautions. “I think most football fans would agree that the temptation to hurl a throat full of goz at Gary Neville can, at times, be overwhelming – but the chemistry between them is so good that we can’t really drop either of them. “As such, Jamie will wear a spit hood

Left: Bob Carolgees has approached Jamie Carragher about a new double act with himself and Spit the Dog

for the foreseeable future, and we just hope he won’t drown in there while criticising the defending during his next commentary.” Former colleagues of Carragher’s have lept to his defence, explaining that his broad scouse accent is to blame for the shower of spittle that ends up in the hair of anyone who talks to him. “I think it’s unfair to punish him just for

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being a scouser. Why not make everyone else wear a spit hood as protection instead?” asked one. Neutrals across the country have admitted that Carragher’s behaviour goes way beyond the acceptable, but have also added that by far the worst thing about the incident is that he’s now made Gary Neville the likeable one out of the pair.

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