Narative of canadian reverts

NARRATIVES ON CANADIAN MUSLIM LIVES: CANADIAN MUSLIMS, REVERTS AND TURKS

Faruk Arslan

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WHO IS FARUK ARSLAN Faruk Arslan was born in Ankara on April 12, 1969. He completed the non-commissioned Officer Medical Preparation School of GATA in Ankara, Turkey. He completed the International Affairs Department of Azerbaijan University. By writing a thesis on "The Status of Caspian" he won the title of "International Legist" in 1997. He graduated from Centennial College with a Social Service Worker Diploma, becoming a social worker to help Turkish Communities. He has received an honour degree in Sociology at York University.

He closely followed the Karabag, Chechenistan and Abkhazia wars. He wrote more than three thousands pieces of news and articles on energy resources of Caspian, published in both Turkish and foreign press. He worked for Azerbaijan Zaman (Time) Newspaper as reporter, news manager and columnist. He carried on the agency of Cihan (World) News Agent in Azerbaijan for three years. He wrote for the column called "Letter From Baku" for two years. He was one of the first publishers of Tomurcuk (bud) which is the first magazine for children published in Azerbaijan. He wrote his book, “The Wolf of Petroleum" that tells about the petrol war in Caspian. Till the end of 2000 he was the reporter for diplomacy, foreign policy and energy for Turkish Zaman (Time) newspaper in Ankara. By preparing special investigation documents on Zaman newspaper published in 14 countries, he worked as a travelling reporter for Turkish World. He is a member of Azerbaijan Journalists Association and Ankara Diplomacy Reporters Society.

In the last nine years he wrote for Muhalif ("Opposing"), Gelecek ("Future") and Hür Gelecek ("Independent Future") newspapers as columnist with his real name and under the name Ali Alperen. Continuously, he carried on his internet journalism. By carrying on the agency for Zaman newspaper in Canada, he worked as Toronto reporter. He published Sunrise, which is the only free journal delivered by post to Turks living in Canada, and undertook its editorship. He has been writting a column at Canadaturk biweekly Turkish Community newspaper since 2005. He speaks English, German and Azeri language very well. He is married and has two children.

Recent Publications: “Mason Bektashism”, Publisher Karakutu, April 2009, 376 pages.

“Black Box: Tuncay Guney”, Publisher Karakutu, November 2009, 336 pages.

“Mith of Jesus in Keshmir", unknown truth of Jesus Christ boyhood life in Asia, December 2006.

Publisher Karakutu. Research book, 206 pages.

"The Savior of Mesiah Barnaba”, Novel, about unknown history of first Christians and gospel of Barnaba Bible ", in November 2006. Publisher Karakutu. 344 pages.

"Rescue us Canada", Memory and Research book, about How to come to Canada, and how to adapt in Canadian society, in August 2006. Publisher Lulu. 400 pages.

“Wolves Valley of Caspian”, Politic, about “Oil power disputes”, Publisher Karakutu in April 2005, 2006. 444 pages.

“Net Breaking: The fiction war of Evangelist”, about Iraq and Afghanistan wars, in August 2005.

Publisher Karakutu. 400 pages.

"Secret of Valley is solving", Research book, about Turkish mafia, deep state and secret organizations triangle, in June 2005. Publisher Evreca. 256 pages.

"Chess of Petroleum", Politic, how happened colorful coups and revolutions on former Soviet Union countries under petroleum dispute perspective, in January 2005. 350 pages.

“September 11: Fiction of the Matrix” about conspiracy theories, about September 11 event, in April 2004. Publisher Q-Matrix and Publisher Lulu in 2005. 495 pages.

Alperens of Azerbaijan, Publisher Lulu in 2009. 200 pages.

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Table of Contents Preface: The Rise of Islam in Canada ...............................................................6 Chapter One A List of Dos and Don’ts ..................................................................................14 Chapter Two An Unnoticed Part of our History- by Daood Hassan Hamdani .......................21 Chapter Three The Canadian Turkish Community ...................................................................31 Chapter Four Why I Am a Muslim- by Dr. David J. Liepert ..................................................40 Chapter Five Canadian Deacon Embraces Islam- by Abdullah DeLancey ............................49 Chapter Six Finding the Prophet in his People- by Ingrid Mattson ......................................51 Chapter Seven Muslim convert takes on leadership role- by Jane Lampman ...........................56 Chapter Eight Finding God- by Aishah Miller .........................................................................60 Chapter Nine Twelve Hours Old- by Katherine Bullock ........................................................63 Chapter Ten

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Born again with reading the Quran- by Craig Robertson ...............................73 Chapter 11 All Muslims are brothers and sisters in Islam- by Malik Mohammed Hassan.78 Chapter 12 After Ten Years of Atheism: By Dr. Jeffrey Lang Discovers Islam ..............80 Chapter 13 Canadian Catholic Discovers Islam- by Yusuf Ali Bernier............................84 Chapter 14 Islam and I - Conversion, is it right or wrong? - by Pam Uppal.....................86 Chapter 15 Muslims are good people, not terrorists- by Noor Aubie ...............................88 Chapter 16 Notes from the Ka'ba- by Claire Alkouatli .....................................................92 Chapter 17 Why I Embraced Islam- by Sumayya (Evelyn) Tonnellier ............................97 Chapter 18 Why Major Canadian Christian Missionary Converted- by Dr Garry Miller. ........................................................................................................................99 Chapter 19 Converts in Kuwait: From Skirts to Abayas- by Sarah McBride ...................103 Chapter 20 The Seeker- by Yasser Aboudouma ..............................................................107

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Chapter 21 Discovering Islam- by Lara ............................................................................112 Chapter 22 How I became a Muslim- by Amina...............................................................115 Chapter 23 A Canadian Social Worker Becoming Muslim- by Thomas Irving ...............118 Chapter 24 Sofia's Journey to Islam in Turkey .................................................................119 Bibliography ...................................................................................................125

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Preface The Rise of Islam in Canada Islam has continually been rising from the West since the last quarter of the century. It is fastest growing religion in Africa, Asia, Europe, USA, and Canada as well. This unpredictable prediction made by the famous thinker and Islamic scholar, Bediuzzaman Said Nursi, in 1909 when he was only 23 years old. Nursi is said to have told the Egyptian scholar Sheikh Bakhit, while in Istanbul, that the Ottoman Empire was pregnant with a secular Western state (Turkey became independent in 1923), while the West is pregnant with an Islamic belief system, and both will be giving births (1). Nursi’s prediction first part had become true. The Bediuzzaman, a title which means 'wonder of the time', authored the Risale-i Nur Collection, a 6,000-page commentary on Quran. Nursi was a great admirer of Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi who is well-known as Turkish Sufi, and most influential religious humanist philosopher on the world last 800 years.

The Kurdish religious modernist Said Nursi (1876-1960), was most influential intellectual and established his ideas in the late Ottoman Empire and early Turkish republican era. As will be shown, Nursi was as much a product of contemporary intellectual trends as he was unique and innovative contributors to the Islamic tradition. That is, were it not for the entrance of materialism and positivism into Ottoman intellectual circles in the mid- to latenineteenth century, and the crystallization of those ideologies into the political and cultural fabric of Turkey, it is unlikely that Nursi would have been compelled to respond in ways that ultimately altered the relationship between modernity, science, philosophy, and Islam (2).

Bediuzzaman did not remain long in Istanbul after his acquittal. He set off for the East by way of the Black Sea accompanied by two of his students. It was the spring of 1910. It is recorded that on the way, the boat stopped off at Inebolu, and on visiting the town Bediuzzaman had a warm reception from its leading religious figure, Haji Ziya, and others.

And on leaving, was accompanied as far as the boat by a large crowd (3). And Bediuzzaman himself related the following incident, which occurred in Tiflis, the capital city of Georgia, while he was making his way from Batum to Van. Bediuzzaman had climbed a prominent hill known as Shaykh Sanan Tepesi, which has a commanding view of the city of Tiflis and the valley of the River Kura in which it is situated together with all the surrounding countryside. He was gazing at the view plunged in thought when approached by a Russian policeman. The following exchange ensued, which began with the policeman asking: “Why are you studying the land with such attention?”

Bediuzzaman replied: “I am planning my medrese.”

“Where are you from?”

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“I’m from Bitlis.”

“But this is Tiflis!”

“Bitlis is one of Tiflis’ brothers.”

The policeman was bewildered: “What do you mean?”

Bediuzzaman explained: “Three lights are beginning to be revealed one after the other in Asia and the world of Islam. While with you three layers of darkness will start to recede one over the other. This veil of despotism shall be rent; it will shrink back, and I shall come and build my medrese here” (4) Thus in 1910 Bediuzzaman foretold the lifting of “the three darknesses” which would descend on the peoples of Caucasia and Turkestan, the last of which we are now seeing in 1991-2. They may be seen as the collapse of Czarist Russia, the collapse of communism, and the Muslim states of the area gaining their independence with the falling apart of the Soviet Union. Indeed, in Abdurrahman’s biography of Bediuzzaman, he quotes the Russian policeman as saying, “Freedom will cause you [the Ottoman Empire] to break up.” To which Bediuzzaman replied: “It is you it will cause to break up, and I’ll come and build my medrese here.” (5).

This only increased the policeman’s bewilderment. “I’m sorry for you,” he said. “I’m astonished that you should entertain such a hope.”

“And I am astonished at your not understanding!”, replied Bediuzzaman. “Do you think it possible that this winter will continue? Every winter is followed by spring, and every night by day.”

“But the Islamic world is all broken up and fragmented.”

“They have gone to study. It is like this: India is an able son of Islam; it is studying in the high school of the British. Egypt is a clever son of Islam; it is taking lessons in the British school for civil servants. Caucasia and Turkestan are two valiant sons of Islam; they are training in the Russian war academy. And so on.

“You see, after these noble sons of Islam have received their diplomas, each will lead a continent, and, waving the banner of Islam, their just and mighty father, on the horizons of perfection, they will proclaim the mystery of pre-eternal wisdom inherent in mankind in the view of pre-eternal divine determining and in the face of obstinate fate” (6).

This short anecdote gives the note for Bediuzzaman’s main message for the tribes of eastern Anatolia, and of his celebrated sermon in Damascus early the following year; namely, encouragement and hope for the future. That is to say, despite his disillusion with developments in Istanbul, Bediuzzaman was unwavering in his conviction that constitutionalism was the way to further the cause of Islam and preserve the Empire by securing progress and unity. Indeed, as we shall see when examining the Sermon, Bediuzzaman predicted that according to all the signs, Islam and Islamic – or, true – civilization would prevail in the future, and that the majority of mankind would accept and join the religion of Islam. He said: “In the future when reason, science and technology hold

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sway, that will surely be the time the Qur'an will gain ascendancy, which relies on rational proofs and makes the reason confirm its pronouncements” (7).

In the autumn of 1910, Bediuzzaman moved south and until the following spring, made “a winter journey through the Arab lands,” continuing “to give lessons on constitutionalism” (8). He visited Damascus in early 1911, where he stayed as a guest in the Salahiya district.

It was during this stay that, on the insistence of the Damascus ‘ulama, he gave his famous Damascus Sermon in the Umayyad Mosque. Bediuzzaman’s fame must have been considerable, for close on ten thousand people, including one hundred ‘ulama, packed into the historic building to listen to him (9). The text of the sermon was afterwards printed twice in one week.

If one considers the backwardness of the Islamic world at that time in relation to the West and its resulting subjection to the European Powers, and the accompanying feelings of hopelessness and helplessness on the part of the educated Muslims in particular, it is not difficult to see why Bediuzzaman’s message of hope and certain predictions supported by argument of the future supremacy of the Qur'an and Islamic civilization met with the enthusiastic response that they did. The Sermon is in the form of “Six Words” taken from “the pharmacy of the Qur'an”, which constitute the cure or medicine for the “six dire sicknesses” which Bediuzzaman had diagnosed as having arrested the development of the Islamic world. He described it as follows: “In the conditions of the present time in these lands, I have learnt a lesson in the school of mankind’s social life and I have realized that what has allowed Europeans to fly towards the future on progress while it arrested us and kept us, in respect of material development, in the Middle Ages are six dire sicknesses.”

Bediuzzaman concludes of his argument by quoting a few short passages from the 19th century Scottish philosopher, Thomas Carlyle, and from the famous Prussian, Prince Bismarck (1815-1898). They testify to the truth of Islam and the Qur'an’s being the revealed word of God. On the strength of their testimony, Bediuzzaman repeated the prediction he had made previously to shaykh Bahid in Istanbul: “Europe and America are pregnant with Islam. One day, they will give birth to an Islamic state. Just as the Ottomans were pregnant with Europe and gave birth to a European state.”

He then concluded: “O my brothers who are here in the Umayyad Mosque and those who are in the mosque of the world of Islam half a century later! Do the introductory remarks, that is, those made up to here, not point to the conclusion that it is only Islam that will provide true, and moral and spiritual rule in the future, and will urge mankind to happiness in this world and the Hereafter? And that true Christianity, stripping off superstition and corrupted belief, will be transformed into Islam; following the Qur'an, it will unite with Islam?” (10) Bediuzzaman describes “eight serious obstacles” which “prevented the truths of Islam completely conquering the past”, but which are now dispersing, and follows this with

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quoting the testimony to the truth of Islam of two ‘enemies’ by way of proof of his argument. Before describing the obstacles, Bediuzzaman says that “the veils which eclipse the sun of Islam... and prevent it illuminating mankind have begun to disperse.” The signs of dawn were appearing then, in 1911. He later added that the true dawn began in 1371, that is, 1951, when a number of Islamic countries were gaining their independence (11). Or even if that was the false dawn, the true dawn would break in forty to fifty years’ time. He was absolutely insistent on it. The obstacles were as follows: The first three obstacles were “the Europeans’ ignorance, their barbarity at that time, and their bigotry in their religion. These three obstacles have been destroyed by the virtues of knowledge and civilization, and they have begun to disperse.”

The fourth and the fifth were “the domination and arbitrary power of the clergy and religious leaders, and the fact that the Europeans obeyed and followed them blindly. These two obstacles have also started to disappear with the rise among mankind of the idea of freedom and the desire to search for the truth.”

The sixth and seventh obstacles were “the despotism that was with us, and our immorality and degeneracy that arose from opposing the Shari’a... The fact that the separate despotic power residing in a single individual is now declining indicates that the fearful despotism of larger groups in society and of committees will also decline in thirty to forty years time.

And the great upsurge in Islamic zeal together with the fact that the ugly results of immorality are becoming apparent show that these two obstacles are about to decline; rather, that they have begun to do so. God willing, they will completely disappear in the future.”

The eighth obstacle was that “since certain positive matters of modern science were imagined to oppose and be contrary to the apparent meanings of the truths of Islam, it prevented, to some extent, their prevailing in the past.” That is to say, scientists and philosophers opposed Islam because they did not understand its true meaning, but, “after learning the truth, even the most opinionated philosopher is compelled to submit to it...”

It is instructive that Nursi borrow the language and conceptual framework of medieval Sufi scholars and orthodox clerics in explicating their modernist theologies. By relying on the vocabulary and rhetoric of traditional Islamic exegesis, Nursi and attempt to locate themselves within a mujaddid * (renewers) tradition. As self-professed renewers of Islam, Nursi position themselves as the newest in a series of Islamic reformers who both defended the faith against ritual and doctrinal accretions, and asserted the proofs of Islam in the face of heresy and doubt. Establishing themselves within the mujaddid lineage also boosts their claims to religious authority and legitimacy (12).

In order to understand Nursi’s comprehension of science, we must rediscover the intellectual atmosphere of the Ottoman Empire in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. It was in this milieu that Nursi was introduced to ‘science’ as a category of knowledge. Recalling Nursi’s understanding means reconstructing science as a discourse, a

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particular set of assumptions, values, and conclusions about the world. Science will be depicted in the way Nursi came to view it, as an ‘interpretation’ of the world that rivalled the Islamic viewpoint. Nursi will be understood in the larger context of Turkey’s intellectual engagement with secular ideologies and Islamic reformism. The constructivist paradigm used to illuminate the dialectic between secularist and Islamist thought in Turkish history will be centred on the intellectual context, not on the larger social-structural forces at play. There are determinants influencing Nursi’s thought that are purely intellectual, or spiritual, and are not responses to, or products of, the particular political and cultural arrangements of the time. Rather than devalue the spiritual significance of Nursi’s writings by mediating them through the prism of modernity’s structural and political impact, his ideas will be reconceived at face value, taking full account of the intellectual foundations and spiritual origins of his religious message. (13) The example of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, combined with the essential principles of the Qur’an, is the ideal guide for the modern world, capable of providing spiritual sustenance and intellectual nourishment to individuals of diverse backgrounds and circumstances based on Nursi beliefs. (14). Nursi’s contributions do represent a contemporary attempt to unite Islamic orthodoxy with mysticism, and reason with revelation. (15). Nursi’s project to redefine the clash between reason and revelation is guided by an interpretative strategy that denies science the capacity to stand in judgment of the claims of the Qur’an. This bold assertion safeguards revelation from future scientific findings that may render Islam false or illegitimate. Nursi is insistent that the Qur’an requires no added proofs borrowed from outside the realm of Islamic knowledge (13).

As one of the shining aspects of the globalisation phenomena, the collective personality of the Risale-i Nur, with the grace of Allah Almighty, has played an active role in upholding and spreading the Qur'anic truths, not only just in Turkey, but in many other countries worldwide. In a sense, the Risale-i Nur itself has been "globalised". One of the most unique striking features of the Risale-i Nur, the Qur'anic commentary of this time, is the concept of Sahsi-manevi, or collective personality. The basis of this concept is the following profound observations of Bediuzzaman Said Nursi's: "The present time is the time of the group, the collective personality gains importance and value for the individual." (Kastamonu Letters), and "The present time is the time of the group, or social collectivity, not of the individual.

However great a genius an individual is, even a hundredfold genius, if he is not the representative of a group and if he does not represent the collective personality of a group, he will be defeated in the face of the collective personality of an opposing group" (18).

Canadian Muslims don’t aware of Nursi thought yet, newly converted Canadian Muslims are not discovered this the most important philosopher of Islam. Nursi’s books translated over 60 languages now. English reading sources are Mektubat (Letters) and Sözler (The Words), from Said Nursi’s seminal tafsīr, the Risale-i Nur, written between 1925 and 1932.

The English translations of these works were used, while the original Turkish materials were approached as references to identify key phrases and terminology. In addition, the large and growing English-language secondary source literature on Nursi was used extensively, in particular Şerif Mardin’s excellent Religion and Social Change in Modern

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Turkey: The Case of Bediüzzaman Said Nursi and Ibrahim Abu-Rabi comprehensive edited volume Islam at the Crossroads: On the Life and Thought of Bediüzzaman Said Nursi.

In Islamic tradition, a mujaddid is a scholar who updates and renews the faith in times of historical change. Ahmad Faruk Rabbani Sirhindī is widely recognized as a mujaddid of the second Islamic millennium, and Nursi was also known the last mujaddid as renewer in the 20 century. Naqshbandī missionaries from India were carriers of the teachings of Ahmad Sirhindī, recognized as a mujaddid of Islam. Sirhindī was born in 1564 in the Punjab region of India. Look up book: Muhammad Abdul Haq Ansari, Sufism and Shariah: A Study of Shaykh Ahmad Sirhindī. Leicester: Islamic Foundation, 1986), p. 11.

All Canadians need to know more about the growing number of Muslims within their nation—their beliefs, their traditions, their aspirations. And, for that matter, Canadians need to know about the struggles within the Canadian Muslim community. Ottawa’s relations with Muslim Canadians would benefit from “opening the door to a new dialogue” with the world’s over 1.2 billion Muslims.

This book contains a collection of enlightening, fascinating and inspiring stories of converts to Islam. Those amazing stories are indicating how people found Islam in Canada and how their life changed for the better. Not only have Christians, Catholic, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Sheikhs pagans, Buddhists, even Christian priest and Catholic nuns who converted to Islam. Atheists and scientists who did not believe in God converted to Islam after reading or discovering the miracles of Islam. I always wonder how they influenced and what kinds of beauties of Islam are most powerful to them and why.

New Muslims are not semi literate or illiterate but from highly rich families, priest, preachers, scientists. You will explore in this book why they adopted Islam as faith and way of life and left trinity or Jewish faith. We say them reverts because by birth a man is submiter to Almighty to One God …submission literally means Islam. A Muslim must believe in Jesus, Moses (peace and blessings upon them) as savior and also prophet of God almighty. and Muhammad as Last prophet of Almighty God to guide humanity. …He shows right path to whom He wants. No Guidance without The Almighty Creator’ s will. All we seek His mercy and guidance. He is the who sent His prophets and messengers (peace and blessings upon all of them) to convey His message to mankind. He is the only sole power on the day of Judgment. All prophets of Almighty God (Noah, Jaqub, Ishaq, Jousef, Moses,Yehya, Zakaria, Jesus, Mohammad (peace and blessings upon all of them) have given the same message of salvation through good deeds and faith on one Creater (19).

Converts or revert invoke several reasons for embracing Islam: that, unlike Christianity, it makes sense to them; that Islam is commensurate with modern science; that Islam is an egalitarian religion, blind to the racial prejudices so common to Western culture; and that one betters himself upon embracing Islam, doing away with adverse personal and social behavior. In some narratives, a rather more emotional attitude is suggested, depicting a defining metaphysical moment of peace and understanding in which Islam was embraced; in some, this emotional attitude is preconditioned with a logical acceptance of Islam's truthfulness. Many of these may sound doubtful to those not susceptible to conversion or 11

familiar with the nuances of Islam, but they nonetheless illustrate the view which Islamists wish to convey. One notion suggested directly or implied by almost all narrators is the complete transformation Islam brought about in their lives. Where there was a void, Islam brought meaning; where there was disorder, Islam brought harmony; where there was despair, Islam brought hope. After embracing Islam, all hesitation and confusion faded away. Each found peace with himself, with his surroundings, and with God. In some narrations, the egalitarianism of Islam is invoked as a reason for embracing it. Some narrators depict the transformation Islam generated in their lives. Several narrators tell of an emotional experience that drew them to Islam. Other narrators combine an emotional occasion with prior rational acceptance of Islam's truthfulness because invoking science as proof for Islam's truthfulness. Several narrators describe the 9/11 attacks as awaking their curiosity about Islam, which led them to embrace the religion. Many convert narratives depict Islam as a remedy to the growing secularization of Western life that Christianity fails to fill. Converts to Islam describe a range of circumstances for their conversions. They mention hostile Western media portrayals of Islam that encouraged them to further their knowledge; Muslim friends, colleagues, and neighbors who introduced them to Islam; falling in love with Muslims; incidental meetings; and traveling to Muslim countries. Other narratives also echo the idea that the personal conduct of the individual lay Muslim migrant is crucial to bring Christians to Islam. When Muslims meet with Christians, narrators hint, patience and courtesy can make the difference. Muslim friends play a similar role in the conversion. Narratives from converts to Islam are as a rational religion that provides a connection to God, personal peace, and social harmony. Westerners may interpret these narratives as assaults on their culture. Each found peace with himself, with his surroundings, and with God. The right of any person to proselytize, or the right of any person to convert to a religion of his choice, is a basic tenet of Western liberal societies (20).

It is not a coincidence that these narratives emphasize personal friendships with Muslims as essential to brining about conversion. Many studies have found that friendship and kinship networks facilitate conversion (21). Indeed, an emphasis on personal relationships underscores 'Tablighi Jamaat (22), and Said Nursi followers, and Jerrahi Sufi Order who encourage following Mevlana Rumi as well.

I have tried to discover the history of Canadian Muslims as an unnoticed part of our history. Islamic heritage does not belong only to Canadian Muslims; it belongs to all Canadians. For more than 1,400 years, the contributors to Islamic civilization were of different ethnic backgrounds, including African, Asian, European and North American.

They were numerous men and women who were often adherents of different faiths; most would never even have known that they were helping to make history. Many of their names and accomplishments have faded with the passage of time, but their collective story has not been forgotten.

Today, it would seem that the civilizations of East and West, or the Muslim and nonMuslim world, have become reversed. But perhaps it is more a case of having forgotten those former glories in the pursuit of present-day materialism and political agendas. A rediscovery and renewed appreciation of Muslim accomplishments would benefit all of

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humanity, allowing us to see -- and hopefully resolve -- present conflicts peacefully within the wider spectrum of human history (23).

As a Turkish origin Canadian journalist- writer, I’d like to introduce Turkish Muslim contribution to society in this book. Canadian MPP Tony Ruprecht has prepared a unique contribution to Toronto's historic and cultural life by publishing “Toronto's Many Faces”, a 400-page guidebook to more than 67 diverse cultural including Turkish communities in 1990. A fourth publication was printed in March 2005. Next edition will be published in 2009. I was one of the contributors in writing the Turkish Community page in this latest book. Without knowing Turkish Muslims, Muslim Community may not offer real vision of traditional Islamic humanitarianism. Order of Ontario receptions Turkish Dr. Fuad Sahin and others Turkish people have been encouraged to create a non-governmental organization among in the Canadian Muslim since 1950’s. Today, Turkish Muslims are promoting peace, harmony, inter-faith, intercultural understanding, and social justice to our multicultural society at large.

Faruk Arslan Toronto/ Canada 6 May 2011

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Chapter One A List of Dos and Don’ts Muslim religious scholars envision Islam as a universal religion and the Muslim nation as brother and sisterhood. In constructing a framework of identity and roles for Muslim immigrants in the West, they play crucial role to introduce Islam. Islamic Internet sites are part of that effort. They offer introductory contents, practical information, guides for those converting, and the narratives of new Muslims. This opinion belong to Uriya Shavit and Frederic Wiesenbach who analyzed Muslim strategies to convert Western Christians at Middle East Quarterly in issue of Spring 2009 as states, “The conversion of Christians in Europe and the United States to Islam has become a matter of debate in some Western countries. Muslim scholars have called on immigrant Muslims to become involved in summoning non-Muslims to their faith. Indeed, the call on Muslim migrants to proselytize has become central in contemporary Islamic writings, not only in books, but also in sermons—many online on YouTube—and others on DVDs, and Islamic websites. The strategies that the global Islamic media uses to promote conversion of Christians to Islam illustrate both the perceptions of Islamists and can expose themes to defend and promote in cultural and public diplomacy“(24).

Bernard Lewis claimed that in Muslim eyes, Christianity had some truth in it; in Christian eyes, Islam was completely false (25). Exact data on the number of converts to Islam in the West is incomplete because conversions are not always recorded. While the data do not suggest a massive wave of new believers, there are enough to matter. In Germany, statisticians estimated that several thousand Christians convert to Islam every year (26). In Spain, the number of converts reached around 20,000 in 2006, (27) and in the United Kingdom, perhaps 14,000 had converted by 2006 (28). In the United States, perhaps 20,000 to 25,000 people a year convert to Islam. The number of converts significantly increased in the immediate aftermath of the 9/11 attack, although it is not yet certain that the conversion surge in the United States has continued (29). Renowned ex-Catholic priest and convert to Islam, Idris Tawfiq claimed that today, Canada is home for 800,000 Muslims; growing all the time, and something like 3,000 Canadian converts every year (30). Scholars studying conversion find that spiritual poverty is a frequent condition prior to conversion, and a sense of closing the distance to God is the result of embracing a new religion (31).

Many of newly converted Canadian Muslims are seeking true faces of Islam, and looking after main Islamic sources to learn their new religion deeply. They are questioning including human rights and gender equality, in Muslim countries like Iran and Saudi Arabia. New Muslims are confusing about different Islamic sects, Sufism, political views, and current Muslim countries dilemma. Wahhabism of Saudi Arabia, extremist of Taliban in Afganistan and Pakistan, highly political way of Sia’s in Iran as well as a sect of Ahmdiyya Muslims. The majority of Muslim population doesn’t accept Wahhabi, Iran version Sia and Ahmediyya because of their political affiliations not representing Islam.

Carl Sharif El-Tobgui, a Ph.D. student at McGill University’s Institute for Islamic Studies, estimates that as many as 10% to 20% of Canada’s Muslims adhere to the principles of 14

Wahhabism, practiced by the strict orthodox Sunni Muslim sect founded in Arabia more than 200 years ago. Those figures are disputed by others, including Salam Elmenyawi, president of the Muslim Council of Montreal, who dismisses them as “nonsense.” But certainly, the bookstore at the Assuna Annabawiyah mosque, Montreal’s busiest, offers a range of Wahhabist teachings. Yet though the Saudis have funded Canadian mosques for decades, Elmenyawi says their influence is on the wane. “Since September 11, the Saudi government has completely shut down” funding, he says. Pakistani and Indian Muslim population larger than other nations, so they are still more influence group at the Canadian Mosques.

There is an extremist group, of course tiny, with views that would not be out of place in the ultraconservative circles of Iran or Saudi Arabia, some of them Pakistan. All this has created unease among the more moderate majority, who want a clear separation between mosque and state and have concerns about some of the cultural baggage being dragged into Canadian society, especially regarding attitudes toward women. In general, religious institutions are very patriarchal institutions in Canada, and there is a separation between church and state for a reason. There’s no reason to doubt that most Canadian Muslims understand and support the justifications for that separation. All Muslims love Canada’s liberal traditions as much as anyone else (32).

Even though there were only 30 official Muslims in Canada in 1871, the seeds of something big was started. According to the Canadian Census of 1971 there were 33,000 Muslims in Canada. In the 1970s large-scale non-European immigration to Canada began.

This was reflected in the growth of the Muslim community in Canada. In 1981, the Census listed 98,000 Muslims. The 1991 Census indicated 253,265 Muslims. Statistics Canada reports that 253,260 Canadians identified themselves as Muslims (0.9% of the total population) during the 1991 census. According to 2001 Census, there were an estimated 579,640 Muslims in Canada, and 6,310 of Muslims made PhD. In 2006, Muslim population is estimated to be 783,700 or about 2.5%, it had become the number one nonChristian faith in Quebec and Canada as a whole. The majority of Canadian Muslims — and not coincidentally a large proportion of the country's immigrants — live in the province of Ontario, with the largest groups settled in and around the Greater Toronto Area.

According to the 2001 Census, there were 254,110 Muslims living in Greater Toronto.

British Columbia also has a significant Muslim population. Assuming that most immigrants from Middle East and Iran are Muslims, the two largest Muslim communities in the Vancouver were Middle Eastern (50,000) and Iranian (30,000). Canada's national capital Ottawa hosts many Lebanese and Somali Muslims, where the Muslim community numbered approximately 40,000 in 2001. Greater Montreal's Muslim community neared 100,000 in 2001. It is home to large numbers of Canadians of Moroccan, Algerian and Lebanese descent, as well as smaller Syrian, Iranian, Bangladeshi, Pakistani and Turkish communities. These communities are not exclusively, but predominantly, Muslim. In addition to Vancouver, Ottawa, and Montreal, nearly every major Canadian metropolitan area has a Muslim community, including Halifax (3,070), Windsor (10,745), Winnipeg (4,805),Calgary (28,920), Edmonton (19,580), Vancouver (52,590), where more than a third are of Iranian descent, and Toronto (30,230). It attributed the obvious increase to

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Muslims immigration from south Asia, North Africa and the Middle East, making Islam the fastest growing religion in the country (33).

Canadians are choosing Islam because human beings are becoming more selfish, materialistic and immoral. Islam teaches that true happiness can only being obtained by living a life full of God-consciousness and being satisfied with what God has given us.

Additionally, true “freedom” is freedom from being controlled by our base human desires and being ruled by man-made ideologies. This stands in stark contrast to the view of many people in the modern world, who consider “freedom” to be the ability to satisfy all of their desires without inhibition. The clear and comprehensive guidance of Islam gives humanbeings a well-defined purpose and direction in life. In addition to being members of the human-brotherhood of Islam, its well-balanced and practical teachings are a source of spiritual comfort, guidance and morality. A direct and clear relationship with Almighty God, as well as the sense of purpose and belonging that ones feels as a Muslim, frees a person from the many worries of everyday life. In short, the Islamic way of life is pure and wholesome. It builds self-discipline and self-control thought regular prayer and fasting, and frees human-beings from superstition and all sorts of racial, ethnic and national prejudices.

By accepting to live a God-conscious life, and realizing that the only thing that distinguishes people in the sight of God is their consciousness of Him, a person’s true human dignity is realized (34).

Marriages lead women to Islam. Although some women reverted with no thought of marriage, many more reverted to Islam to marry Muslims. Women are attracted to Islam because they want freedom. Islam gives them independence because they do not have to be a slave of any man. Islam is against moral aggression against women. The chastity and honor of women are protected. No illicit relations are allowed. All these things attract women. For example, some of Canadian Christian and Atheist women have realized the beauty of the Muslim women's dress ( Niqab, abaya , hijab). These western Christian women converts to Islam have left the mini shirt and bikini culture for the Niqab and the Abaya. Among them were those who had previously even won beauty completions and received offers for modeling agencies. Their beauty had given them popularity, fame, fast sports cars, expensive cloths and jewelry and penthouse's but slowly the ugly truth of that culture, its values, values customs and belief system started to appear to them and they realized there was more to life than this. When they started to search into different religions they came across Islam and found this is what they had always being looking for the Truth (35).

The straight forward message of Islam is: "None is worthy of worship except God" made sense. So they had finally found God and could now do as god wants them to do and not what others want them to do.

Muslims are always asking several questions to new Canadian Muslims and wonder why and how they converted. This fascinating book stories collected based on similar questions at below: 

When did you convert to Islam?

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       

How old were you?

What was your educational or work background?

How did you convert to Islam, and what was most influenced aspect?

What was your previous religion/philosophy?

Why did you convert to Islam?

What spiritual or practical problems have you overcome on the road to conversion and since?

How have you benefited the Muslim community?

Have you seen any dream or facing miracle event when you first converted?

New Muslims need support from the Canadian Muslims in society. Question is that who is offering mainstream Islam and answering their questions. Converted Canadian Muslims expect basic knowledge from Muslim community, but they are disappointed because many Canadian Muslims don’t know their religion very well.

Senior converted Canadian Muslims have made a list of the do’s and the don’ts as follow: The Do’s          

Do welcome a new Muslim to your centre Do show them the around the facilities Do ask questions about the information they’d like to know, i.e. what books to give or what classes to refer them to Do let them talk, listen attentively Do offer your sincere, support Do offer to exchange contact information Do regularly call, meet up for tea or a meal Do refer the New Muslim to other organizations, groups, workshops, and friends Do explain things to a New Muslim in a clear nonjudgmental way Do focus on the “usul al deen” and “furul deen” and “salaat/duah.”

The Don’ts         

Don’t ask too many questions, including personal ones!

Don’t promote cultural values as Islamic values Don’t assume the New Muslim knows nothing or everything – ask and find out.

Don’t overburden the new Muslim with unnecessary information Don’t rush them into marriage Don’t treat them as a “pet” by parading them around the center or over praising them. They’re normal people too.

Don’t expect the New Muslim to suddenly implement every aspect of Islam in their life. For many new Muslims, it’s a gradual process.

Don’t assume every new Muslim is converted for a spouse or converted for any reason other then the sake of Allah Don’t assume the new Muslim has lived a certain way in their past (i.e. “they gave up everything they were doing before” as if they’re entire life was haram)

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

 

Don’t always ask a New Muslim how they found Islam. Give them space to tell you if they want to. Most convert Muslims will be asked this question continuously for the rest of their lives!

Don’t think New Muslims are “better” Muslims either.

Don’t assume every American/Canadian or “long term convert” is a New Muslim and in need of assistance. Don’t be shocked to see converts (Muslims!) reading Qur’an in or having acquired knowledge or a certain level of knowledge.

Suggestions for Muslim Community Center  

   





Appoint male and female “new Muslim support persons” Create “New Muslim Packages” with quality English books on a variety of topics (English translation of Qur’an, “Tafsir” of Qur’an, Women in Islam, “Duahs”, “Salaat Guide”, History of the Prophet, “Imamate”, Comparative study books, etc) Offer hijabs, prayer rugs, “tasbees”, “turbahs/mohrs”, and the like for new Muslims Ensure a safe space for people with different cultures and abilities Do offer non-spicy foods.

Offer Programs in the language of the land!!! In Canada that would be English or French. Likewise be mindful during “Khutbas” of making jokes or statements in another language without translating them.

Realize that converting/reverting is not a continuous process. Once a person becomes a Muslim they’re a Muslim and there is no need to divide the Muslims into groups or labels.

A person my have converted by they aren’t converts – They’re Muslims (36).

Canadian born and immigrated Muslims have to remember that first generation converted Muslims are regular people who are making many mistakes in their first years. They’re different in many ways such as background, culture, lifestyle, ideas, state of mind, economics, etc and we can’t assume anything about them. The Muslim community was somewhat critical that they don’t conservative enough. New Muslims would like to see mosques being more family friendly in contrast most of them are presently like a men's club. Mostly from atheists, converts and second-generation Muslims (living in the West) who also feel alienated from the mosque culture. The mosque should be a place for spiritual education and bonding and "cultural traditions that are nonessential need to be removed — mosques should not become a cultural asylum" (37).

Do converted Canadian Muslims really learn correct Islam? Who helps them? Do they struggle a lot? Yes, they do. New Muslims need guidance for avoid making some mistakes.

There are some practical tips from fellow convert, Saraji Umm Zaid *: 1. Don't jump feet first.

This is so important, not just when coming to Islam, but in any aspect of your life. A lot of times, new shahadas are overwhelmed with what is happening. A new religion, new life rules, new politics. Many are eager to join every Islamic group on the face of the earth.

Others start playing scholar within a few months. Many people feel like they have to speak

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Arabic within a month. This is not so. Language doesn't make the Muslim. Take it slowly and pay attention.

2. Learn your prayers.

Make it the first thing you do. Forget about learning Arabic, memorizing hadith, becoming involved in politics, or anything else! Learn your prayers. I would recommend that you start learning them before your shahada, when you become seriously interested in Islam. I can't stress to you how important this is! I learned the hard way. I am still struggling with part of the prayer now, almost one year later! In the Qur'an we read: Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their prayers with humility and attentiveness. (23: 1-2) Also: Verily, Prayer prevents one from shameful and evil deeds. (29:45) There is also a saying from Hadith: The Prophet (saws) said: "Between a man, and between shirk and kufr there is the abandonment of Prayer" (shirk is the worship of objects other than Allah, and kufr is disbelief in Allah and the Message He sent) (reported by Jaabir ra in at Tirmidhi) 3. Don't let set backs keep you down.

Many new shahadas report that they encounter racism from Muslims. Others say that there is a visible lack of support when they seek it, leaving them feeling alienated. This is a dangerous place to be. Your feelings of resentment and lonliness, your hurt pride could turn you away from Islam, even though your heart longs to submit. I emphasize here that this doesn't happen to every Muslim, and many Muslims open their hearts and homes to new shahadas! But I have seen it enough to know that there are people who slip through the cracks. If you can't find a Muslim community or people willing or able to help you, there are other resources. There are websites, mailing lists, and Islamic support groups that can help you learn your prayers.

All it takes is a little effort. And in the end, Islam isn't about other people, or how many friends you make. It is about you and your Creator. On the last day, you, and no one else, will be responsible for your actions (or lack thereof).

Finally, I have this to say: Allahu Alim Allah knows best.

He knows better than you do what is good for you and what is bad for you. He has a plan for you, and His Love and Mercy is so great that your only choice is to trust in Him and submit to His Will. Sometimes you won't like it. Life gets "ugly" sometimes. It is hard, it is scary, and it is messy. Nothing come gift wrapped with a bow on top. Islam reminds us that this short, messy, hard and beautiful life is short. The life after this one is what counts! The goal is Heaven, Paradise, Jennah (38).

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How do I tell my parents and family I've become a Muslim? This is a hard question.

This is probably the hardest thing you will have to do as a new Muslim. For many people, it poses the prospect of opening up old wounds, risking hurt feelings on both sides, and threatens to rip apart familial relationships. For others, they know that they will be accepted by their parents, siblings, and other family members unconditionally.

The most important thing, and I can't stress this enough, is that you do not allow yourself to get dragged into a "Christianity vs. Islam," "Judaism vs. Islam," "Hinduism vs. Islam," or any sort of interfaith debate with your parents or other family members. Oftentimes, I have heard of new Muslims whose parents or siblings are in the Christian ministry, and who have been baited, taunted, and condemned by them. Do not allow them to drag you into a conflict regarding religion at all. If a family member hurls a "judgment" at you (i.e., "You're a Satan worshipper who's going to hell!"), do NOT respond in kind! If your relationship outside of this religious difference is salvageable, then avoid any religious discussions until everyone is willing to discuss it in a more open minded and civilized manner.

The second most important thing is that you do not allow yourself to become an active evangelizer. Avoid aggressive and continuous attempts to convert your family members, as this will only bring resentment and separation between you. The call to Islam should be a gentle call, and the best way to give da'wa to your family is to be a living example of Islam.

People can get awfully stubborn when they are confronted in this manner, and they will only dig their heels in more. Do not be the cause of great tension between yourself and your family.

Finally, do not allow yourself to be baited or upset by any "anti-Islamic" things your parents and family might say. Many Americans (and Canadians) hear of Islam only from news reports and movies like 'Not Without My Daughter.' Don't allow them to mock you with jeers of "terrorist," "wife beater," and reply with slogans about "Zionists," and "hypocrites," etc. Instead, gently correct any misconceptions they may have about Islam and Muslims. If you are a woman, it is important to reassure them of your rights in Islam, and of your commitment to wear Islamic dress. If they have some very real concerns about your safety as a Muslim woman, try and arrange for them to visit the mosque and talk to the imam / amir, or to get together for coffee with other Muslim sisters (39).

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Chapter Two An Unnoticed Part of our History

By Daood Hassan Hamdani Canada has attracted immigrants throughout its history. Over the years, they have come to escape racial or ideological intolerance, flee religious and political persecution, run away from famines and above all, to seek a better living in the country rated the best in the world by the United Nations. The desire to make it in the new country, hard work and enterprise were not their only characteristics. They also brought their distinct customs and traditions, arts and cultures and their beliefs and faiths.

The Canadian society has evolved through the intermingling of these numerous groups and cross-fertilization of their heritages. In the process of adapting to the Canadian society, the immigrants also change it. And all, established citizens and newcomers alike, adjust to this dynamic process. The adjustment gives the society vibrancy, broadens its horizons and augments the choices available to its members. Since culture is made up of the contribution of those adjusting to it, one can denigrate particular elements only at the cost of impoverishing the culture as a whole.

The growing cultural richness and ethnic diversity of the population in combination with the post-1960s liberalism influenced the religious spectrum of the country. Consequently, three significant patterns emerged over the last two decades. First, secularism is on the rise.

Many young people, disenchanted with their forefathers' faith that are seeking fulfillment in other denominations or leaving the established religion altogether. They believe in God but do not affiliate themselves with any institutionalized, ritualistic religion. The number of such people nearly doubled to 3.4 million between 1981 and 1991. Second, partly as a result of the increasing secularism, the Christian population is growing slower than the total population.

Muslims have settled wherever the opportunity presented itself, from the Atlantic to the Pacific coast, in all the ten provinces and the two territories. Notwithstanding the dispersion, 86 per cent of the Muslims live in only six metropolitan areas and Metropolitan Toronto has more Muslims than all the provinces and territories excluding Ontario. Twothirds are settled within 350 miles of each other.

Although very small relative to the country's total population - 0.9 per cent ( it was 1991) they are a microcosm of the Canadian society, rich in cultural, linguistic and ethnic diversity. They include people from all the continents, from China and the Philippines to the Balkans, Ukraine, Western and Eastern Europe and South America.

The Canadian-born Muslims, barely visible a decade ago, have emerged as a force that will influence the development and orientation of Muslim institutions in the country. The

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resurgence of Islam among the young Muslims and its growing acceptance by nonMuslims at a time when young people are abandoning their forefathers' religion is one of the most significant phenomena of the Canadian religious history.

Islam and Muslims are not new to Canada. The documented history of Muslims in Canada dates from the mid-19th century. Thirteen years before the Fathers of Confederation created Canada, a teenaged bride of Scottish origin, Agnes Love, gave birth to the first Muslim born in the territory that was to become Canada: James Love, named after his father, was born in Ontario in 1854. He was the eldest of the eight children of James and Agnes Love. The youngest one, Alexander, was born in 1868, one year after the Canadian confederation was formed. Another couple, John and Martha Simon, described as "Mahometans" in government documents circa 1871, migrated from the United States and settled in Ontario. Like James and Agnes Love, they were of West European origins: John was English and Martha French.

Unlike the pioneers who settled in Ontario, the early settlers made their home in the western provinces. They were adventurers and frontiersmen. The spirit to explore uncharted territories, expectations of being a part of the momentous events in Canadian history, and the desire to share in the riches of the new land were the hallmarks of the early settlers. Thus we hear the story of the teenager Ali Abouchadi (better known as Alexander Hamilton) who walked 50 kilometres with his uncle from Lala to Beirut in Lebanon, to board the boat to Montreal on his way to claim a share of the Klondike gold. He was too late to make a fortune in gold mining but his entrepreneurship led to other successful business ventures. More Muslims came to work on the construction of the railway linking the west with the central provinces of Ontario and Quebec. Still others arrived in the first decade of this century to open up Alberta and Saskatchewan for settlement.

As the pioneering days ended and the romance of adventure diminished, serious efforts got under way to reconstruct the post-War economy. Muslims arriving during this period, unlike their predecessors, were typically skilled workers and professionals who were brought to change the structure of the economy, from one that was geared to fighting the War to one that would serve the needs of the people. Further, inauguration of Islamic studies at McGill University in 1952 and a decade later at the University of Toronto attracted Muslim scholars and students from abroad. Bilingualism and multiculturalism also played a role. However, the immigration policy remained restrictive because of the continued immigration quotas.

The final phase of the Muslim migration to Canada was marked by the influx of teachers, technocrats and later entrepreneurs. It began in the mid-1960s, with the replacement of immigration quotas on Asians and Africans by a more objective selection criterion based on education and skills. Subsequently, many Muslims, most in the prime working age group, were admitted into the country to meet the growing needs of an expanding economy. As the spouses of these immigrants, who were typically young, joined them a few years later, the Muslims had a baby boom of their own.

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The economic life of the Muslim community has been significantly influenced by the immigration policy because of its emphasis, over much of the period, on bringing in skilled and professional labour. However, the entrepreneurship was not lacking. In the early history, we find fur traders and merchants who specialized in providing on-site service, a concept which, a century later, has captured the imagination of business strategists and around which fortunes have been made. The present generation of Muslim businessmen is also making its mark as entrepreneurs and good corporate citizens. In 1993, a Muslim was among the ten persons in the Canadian business community selected for the prestigious Excellence in Business Award.

The vast majority of Muslims rely on employment to earn their livelihood. Two of their characteristics are worthy of note. First, they are economic migrants, educated and skilled who add to the country's stock of knowledge, convert knowledge into ideas (patents) and into new expressions of old ideas (copyrights), and help create jobs. Twenty-seven per cent of the Muslims in the prime labour force, age group 25 to 44 years, have one or more university degrees, a proportion much higher than the 17 per cent for the population as a whole.

Second, the motive of their migration to Canada, i.e., to improve their economic well-being and lead a fulfilling life, is reinforced by their beliefs. Every day, five times a day, when Muslims are called to prayers they are also called towards falah , i.e., to achieve well being and the good. And falah is not merely the indulgence of private sanctity but it is also the true state of well-being and proper prosperity fulfilled and realized in social life.

The demographics and work ethics of the Muslim labour force have very significant implications for the cost and funding of the country's social security system, a topic high on the public policy debate these days. Proportionally, they withdraw much less from the system and contribute much more to it than the Canadian population as a whole. Muslim families derive only 4 per cent of their total income from social security programs - old age pensions, unemployment insurance benefits, family allowances, welfare payments, etc. By comparison, this percentage for all families in Canada is 7 per cent. The comparisons are more striking with respect to the financing of the social safety net: while there are only five people working to support one in retirement in the country, among Muslims there are 15 workers to support each retiree.

Numbers do not fully convey their economic contribution. Muslims participated in almost every major event in the economic history of Canada. They hewed rocks, laid tracks and struck nails to build the Canadian Pacific railway in the late 19th century, an event dubbed the "national dream" because of its importance. Muslim farmers were among the pioneers who opened up Alberta and Saskatchewan for cultivation and settlement in the beginning of the 20th century. Skilled and professional Muslim immigrants kept up the tempo of economic growth in the 1960s and 1970s. Muslim educators responded to the need for teachers and professors as the baby boom of the post-Second World War period rolled into grade schools and then graduate schools, thus strengthening the foundation for a secure and prosperous economic future for the country.

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Adjustment to any new environment is difficult. The ties of the old world pull hard while there is a strong desire to succeed in the new world. New settlers have to strive for acceptance by the host society while at the same time trying to blend the new experience with their heritage.

The quest for cohesiveness as a community within the Canadian society has gone through three distinct phases. The first phase was inward looking, a product of the hesitation of the host society to welcome the newcomers and the new settlers' yearning for the old world.

Local ethnic and cultural associations provided the focal point in this era. A common religious affiliation was welcome but not essential. These ethnic associations subsequently gave way to religious groups who met to perform basic religious obligations.

The uncertainties, self doubts and social solecism, so pervasive in the early phases of the settlement of a new community, lingered on for a long time. Nearly a century passed before the Muslims gave public expression to their presence and identity. An affirmation of the human ability to persist and endure, a testament to the fervency of the faith of the Muslims of Edmonton, the first public announcement of the presence of the community of believers in Islam in Canada, and the first public expression that they had laid their roots in the new land, Al-Rashid mosque the first in North America - opened its doors on December 12, 1938. With the mayor of Edmonton in attendance and a Christian as the master of ceremonies, Abdullah Yusuf Ali - the most famous English translator of the Qur'an -performed the dedication ceremony. Physically removed from its original site, it now serves as a museum of Islamic artifacts.

While the planning and fund-raising for the mosque served as a focal point, the facilities it provided upon completion shaped the community, giving it cohesiveness and some external recognition. While the world outside still appeared new and strange, the world inside was familiar, reminiscent of the old world they had left behind -- with the same language and culture and common traditions and provided some reassurance. The experience of this first mosque was typical of the mosques that followed.

Saved from demolition in 1990, the mosque sits in the outdoor museum of Fort Edmonton Park near a general store, a blacksmith’s and an old-fashioned telephone exchange. When the mosque was built in 1938, there were fewer than 700 Muslims in Canada. Today the city of Edmonton alone has nearly 30 times that number, with a dozen mosques and hundreds of Muslim-owned businesses. The congregation simply outgrew the old mosque.

So significant was the role of the mosque in facilitating the transition in the formative phase of the community that Muslims did not hesitate to help in the construction of the places of worship of the other faiths. History books record that the church located on the East First Avenue in Vancouver, bearing in its stained glass windows the heraldic arms of the ancient Croatian state, was built with the financial help of the Muslims. Their respect for all places of worship is evident in the pattern of the growth of their own institutions. In the early days, they purchased church buildings and parish halls and renovated them to use as mosques. When mosques were built using Islamic architecture, the nearness to other faiths' places of worship seemed to be a preferred location. Thus, in Toronto Jami Masjid is

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in a converted church building, and the Jaafri Islamic Centre - a beautiful specimen of Islamic architecture - stands between a temple and a synagogue.

In the 1980s, a new era began to set in. The sense of familiarity and comfort, provided by a common language and culture when the community was small, began to erode. Languages and traditions became diverse. Islam was no longer primarily the religion of immigrants from Asia and Africa. The second and third generations of Muslim Canadians and those Canadians who had turned to Islam to seek meaning and fulfillment in their lives were becoming a significant force. Above all, Canadian-born children did not understand their immigrant parents' language.

At the same time, the society was changing too fast. Social and technological changes challenged established lifestyles, institutions and traditions. They were either against Muslims' beliefs or too difficult to comprehend in a short time. And yet, in some respects, the society was not changing fast enough. In spite of the fact that Muslims had been a part of the Canadian religious spectrum for more than a century, the following of Islam was growing faster than any other religion in the country and the visible symbols of Muslim identity had been a permanent feature of the Canadian landscape. For decades Islam was little known and even less understood outside the universities offering courses in Islamic studies.

At the time the first mosque was built, the hopes and aspirations were simple.

Subsequently, the growing social and religious needs meant that the search for identity required a broader base. From self-preservation in the early years manifest in the formation of local community associations to identity revolving around the mosque, Muslims are finally seeking to establish themselves as a cohesive community. The community is only beginning to advance as an entity in the country's educational, social and political institutions. Just fifteen years ago, it was not easy for Muslims to find an elected representative to come to their functions (40).

The Muslim experience in Canada was similar to that in Europe; though in other ways it was radically different. Contrast a thriving, well-educated and diverse Canadian Muslim community with the circumstances of European Muslims who had been lack access to education and adequate health care. Muslims in Canada are not the Muslims who live in the slums of Paris or Marseille. Muslim Canadians have traveled a long way to get to Canada and they traveled there as merchants, traders, teachers, doctors, and engineers. Although we can stress out that Canada is a good place to be Muslim. Canada has a great part to play in the Muslim world. Taken as a whole, though, Muslims are among the most highly educated of all Canadians. Among young men, for instance, Muslims are second only to Jews in the percentage with a high school or university education (41).

North America and Europe have increasingly aging populations and one of the most disturbing social issues of the new millennium will concern a more efficient means of disposing of the elderly. An aging population tends to be introspective and sluggish, whereas a young population is more likely to be vibrant and energetic. Muslim migration is getting bigger from the East to the West. Largely through immigration, the Muslim

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population of the United States grew sixfold between 1972 and 1990. And even in countries where immigration has been suppressed, the growth continues.

The Muslim community in Canada is almost as old as the nation itself. Four years after Canada's founding in 1867, the 1871 Canadian Census found 13 Muslims among the population. The first Muslims arrived in Canada in the late 19th century; most were traders from Syria and Lebanon. Turbulence in Lebanon, Iran, Somalia, the Balkans and Iraq led to a new wave of immigration in the late 1980s and ’90s. Because Canadian Muslims have a higher-than-average birthrate, in the ’90s Islam surpassed Judaism to become Canada’s second largest religion. Between the last three censuses, the number of Canadian residents who identify themselves as Muslim more than doubled, a number that is expected to double again by 2011. Canadian Muslims come from more than 50 ethnic groups around the globe.

While Muslims are a small minority here (under 3 per cent of the total population), they are still the largest non-Christian minority in the country, comprising a wide variety of immigrants from some 40 different national, linguistic and ethnic backgrounds. And over 50 per cent of Canada’s 750,000 Muslims (2007 figures) are Canadian-born.

Muslim identity in Canada has been influenced in two major ways; first, there is the country itself -- a nation with a comparatively young history (142 years in 2009), occupying a huge and ruggedly diverse land-mass -- and secondly, by the self-perceptions of its Muslim immigrants.

A Muslim in the U.S. is usually identified as a Black Muslim; in France, a North African; in Britain, an East Indian or Pakistani; and in Germany, a Turk. These designations reflect the predominant origin of Muslims in each of those countries. But that is not so in Canada, where Muslims have arrived from all over the world and from very diverse cultures. Here, in our unique and dynamically challenging environment, the Canadian Muslim is just that - a Canadian Muslim.

The past few years have seen unprecedented growth and prosperity in the Canadian Muslim community, and also the rumblings of a cultural awakening. The government supports this population to integrate into Canadian society while maintaining its Muslim identity.

Whether they form a minority or majority segment of society, Muslims historically have been able to create localized Islamic cultures suitable for their region of settlement. This has resulted over time in distinct Islamic societies that developed among Arabs, Africans, Persians, East Indians, Malays, Chinese, Russians, and Turks.

On the Indian subcontinent, for example, Muslims form a minority of some 400 millions.

That’s a very large minority, yet a minority nonetheless. But it didn’t stop Indian Muslims from building one of the world's greatest cultures, highlighted by such imposing architectural monuments as the world-famous Taj Mahal. And Muslim culture similarly imprinted its distinct character on other areas, like Spain and Eastern Europe.

Now it is Canada’s turn to celebrate the Islamic legacy. Islamic History Month Canada is a new and unprecedented initiative developed to respond proactively to the multicultural,

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multiethnic and multi-faith nation that we have become of the nation’s largest nonChristian faith group (42).

If you live in a big city in Canada today, it’s difficult to miss Muslims’ impact on Canadian society. Everything from religious schools to Islamic clothing shops has sprouted across the country. The Toronto area has more than 70 mosques, with perhaps 50 more elsewhere in Ontario. Retailers such as Ikea and the Bay have begun targeting advertising to coincide with Islamic holidays. In January, the first minaret rose into the skyline in Ville SaintLaurent to cater to the growing Muslim population in that Montreal suburb (43). First minaret rose in Markham in 2000 and second with mosque of Abu Bekir at Lawrence and Midland in Toronto in 2008.

A growing Muslim population in Ottawa is fuelling a building boom in mosques that some experts say could change the face of the nation’s capital over the next decade. Four new mosques are in various stages of construction across the capital, with two more on the drawing board. As well, a former theatre and casino complex in an Ottawa business park has been converted into one of the city’s largest and most patronized mosques. By the time all the construction is completed in about 10 years, Ottawa will boast eight major mosques, in addition to more than 20 community halls or “musallahs” where people gather for prayers.

It is an astonishing development from the 1960s when the Ottawa Muslim population was made up of diplomats, students and a few public servants, and diplomatic missions were the only places for organized Friday prayers. From about 1,000 Muslims in 1965, the population has grown to at least 50,000 today, fuelled by refugees fleeing conflict and war, and a cadre of professionals enticed to the greener pastures of Canada.

The genesis of the Ottawa Muslim population explosion can be found in two waves that occurred in the 1990s: the influx of Somalis fleeing their war-torn country and that of skilled professionals recruited to Canada. In the 1990s, the number of new arrivals to Ottawa quadrupled. More Muslims arrived in the 1990s than in the three preceding decades, increasing the demand for services.

The numbers were so large and the demand for services, particularly places of worship, was such that the Ottawa Mosque on Northwestern Avenue proved inadequate. The city expanded and the population dispersed in different directions, it became increasingly difficult to centralize prayers at a main mosque. There are four different corners in Ottawa — the west end, the east end, the south end and the north, which is Gatineau. As Muslims settled in these corners, they needed places of prayer of their own.

The first of the new mosques under construction is the Outaouais Islamic Centre’s mosque and school in Gatineau to serve the city’s 4,000 Muslims. Another project now under way is the Dar Assunah mosque at Bank Street and Hunt Club. The Islamic Society of Cumberland has also secured all the approvals for a $1.5-million Bilal mosque on Innes Road. But one of the largest of the mosque projects is the $6- million Jami-Omar mosque in Bells Corners at Moodie Drive and Richmond Road. The mosque, which is expected to house up to 1,000 worshippers, includes a JK to Grade 8 school, as well as a gym that doubles as a community centre and a library. Construction is to begin in the summer and the project is expected to be completed in 2010 (44).

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The Pakistan Canada Association hosts the Jamia Masjid located at 655 W. 8th Avenue, the first Mosque in British Columbia founded in 1963 by the pioneering community leader and activist, the late Riasat Ali Khan and is a time honoured base to Vancouver’s diverse Muslim Community.

Eighty-six percent of Muslims live in the major Canadian metropolitan areas and the Greater Toronto region is home to more than 350,000 Muslims. Little Mosque on the Prairie is a Canadian sitcom on CBC Television, created by Zarqa Nawaz. The series focuses on the Muslim community in the fictional prairie town of Mercy, Saskatchewan Muslim population is only14 thousand (45) and Muslim Community has four mosques.

Yukon opened first mosque in 2008.

After World War II, Muslims arrived in Canada to improve the economy. They were skilled workers and professionals who were brought to serve the needs of the people. In 1952, the inauguration of Islamic Studies took place at McGill University and attracted many Muslim scholars and students from abroad. During the mid-1960’s, many Muslim teachers, professionals and entrepreneurs came to Canada and increased the economic growth. Today, Muslims in Canada are a well-established community. They are active members of the Canadian society. Twenty-seven percent of Muslims in the labour force have one or more university degrees compared to 17% of the general population. Mosques and halal meat shops are common in major Canadian cities. Muslims have also established madrasas to educate their children. The events of Ramadan, Eid ul Fitr and Eid ul-Adha are covered in the Canadian media and by newspapers regularly. Schools, businesses and workplaces are beginning to accommodate Islamic practices and are recognizing Muslim holidays. Muslims have also opened websites which present the beauty of the teachings of Islam and have also used them for propagating to non-Muslims. Many prominent figures in Canadian politics also continue to attend Muslim events and seek support from the Muslim community.

In Toronto, now there are more than 70 masajid and Islamic centres that are full during Jumu’ah prayers. Most of these masjid have at least two Hafiz Qur’an who lead the taraweh prayers during Ramadan. Some of these mosques have been built new from the foundation while most of them have been converted from existing buildings. Special arrangements are made during Eid ul-Fitr and Eid ul-Adha prayers in order to accommodate a larger congregation. Muslims also preserve their Islamic traditions and recite Khatm ul-Qur’an and celebrate Milaad un-Nabi and Mi’raj un Nabi in homes and mosques. They also visit farms and perform zabiha on Eid ul-Adha and distribute the meat among their families, relatives and the poor. The Muslim community has also developed a positive relationship with members of other faiths in Canada. Muslims are starting to promote understanding about their faith and are increasing awareness in their communities and workplaces. Muslims are also participating in inter-faith dialogues among Christians.

The Muslim community respects all places of worship of all religions.

Some prominent Muslim individuals are also becoming more visible in the Canadian society, serving as editors of newspapers, as economists and researchers in industry, and as professors and Deans of Faculties in universities. But despite the progress made by the

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Muslim community, we still have many challenges facing us. Muslims have to fight the negative stereotypes that are surrounding the community. Terms like “Islamic extremists” and “Muslim terrorists” are constantly being repeated in the media. There have been incidents where Muslims with beards were being called terrorists and Muslim women with hijabs were being harassed. Muslims should educate the Canadian public more about our religion and we should help them understand Islam and the noble teachings of our beloved Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam. Overall, Muslims have established themselves as a strong community in this country and we have gone through a lot of hard work to arrive at this stage. The years ahead will be very critical for Muslims. The community will have a large population and will have a great impact on the Canadian society (46).

Canadians have become accustomed to seeing the signature minaret atop a mosque in most Canadian communities. Today there are more than 200 mosques in Canada. Today there are third and fourth generation Muslims living in Canada alongside new immigrants from virtually every part of the world, from China to Nigeria. This marks a new era in the development of the Muslim community in Canada. Islam has entered the mainstream of Canadian life. From self-preservation in the early years manifest in the formation of local community associations to identity revolving around the mosque, Muslims are finally seeking to establish themselves as a cohesive community.

Maybe one indication of this new era is the appointment of two Muslims to the Order of Canada: Lila Fahlman, an Edmonton teacher, community activist and founder of the Canadian Council of Muslim Women; and Haroon Siddiqui, Editorial Page Editor Emeritus of The Toronto Star, and Order of Ontario: Fuad Sahin, a Turkish Urologist, community activist and founder of many Muslim associations.

The Canadian-born Muslims, barely visible a decade ago, have emerged as a force that will influence the development and orientation of Muslim institutions in the country. Muslims make up the largest non-Christian community in 10 of 25 metropolitan areas across Canada. They have settled everywhere but that said, about 85 per cent live in six major cities (47).

Notes: An address on the occasion of Eid-al-Adha at the Parliament Building, Ottawa draws heavily on Daood Hassan Hamdani, "Muslims and Islam in Canada" forthcoming in Ali Kettani and M. M'Bow (eds.), Muslims and Islam in the American Continent, Vol.l of the Encyclopedia of Muslim Minorities in the World, and "Unemployment among Muslim Canadians" in Syed Z. Abedin and Ziauddin Sardar (eds.), Muslim Minorities in the West (London, England). * Daood Hassan Hamdani is a pioneer writer on the evolution of Canada's Muslim community. His writings cover a wide range of topics and have appeared in scholarly journals. He is the author of the highly acclaimed Canadian chapter in the Encyclopedia of Muslim Minorities, and his writings are quoted in scholarly papers and doctoral

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dissertations. His paper on the concept of land, presented at an international conference on Islamic architecture and urbanism, was among the few abstracted in Ekistics because of their policy significance. He is a frequent speaker at international conferences. An economist by profession, he has published articles in professional economics journals. One of his papers, originally published in English in The Netherlands, was translated into Portuguese by the government of Brazil and published in the Ministry of Finance's magazine Financas Publicas. His views are sought by large investment houses in their dealings with clients in Muslim countries.

Let’s find out the Canadian Turkish community contributions to in Canadian Muslims and Canadian multiculturalism.

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Chapter Three The Canadian Turkish Community The term Turk or Turkish used in Canada may apply to immigrants or the descendants of immigrants born in the Ottoman Empire before 1923, in the republic of Turkey since then, or in neighboring countries once part of the Ottoman Empire that still have a population whose language is Turkish or who claims a Turkish identity or cultural heritage, in contrast to the many other people from present-day Turkey and the former Ottoman Empire, who identify with their own communities. There may be as many as 50,000 Turks in Canada according to the Embassy of the Republic of Turkey in Canada.

There were Turks in Canada as early as the 1880s. But the first large group was made up of students and visitors who applied to stay in the country permanently in the 1950s. The last decade has seen the largest wave, with immigrants coming from Turkey and Cyprus, as well as from the neighbouring countries of Yugoslavia, Greece, Bulgaria, and Middle East countries.

In the 1940 and '50s, about 100 Albanian families were the majority of Muslims, with some Yugoslav/ Bosnians and some foreign students at the universities. The Albanians had their own registered society, but in the late 1950s, decided to start the Muslim Society of Toronto. They met in each other's homes or in one of the restaurants owned by a member, but they had no gathering place. In 1958, Murray Hogben, his wife Alia moved to Toronto from Ottawa and Turkish urologist doctor Fuad Sahin from Niagara Falls immediately set out to find some Muslims. They met a few wonderful families of Indian and Pakistani origin as well as the Albanians and Yugoslavs/Bosnians. In 1961, this fledging community bought the first Toronto Islamic Centre. It was a rundown storefront on Dundas Street West, it was place of gathering, a place to teach their children and which had the promise of what they imagined Muslim community would transform into. Nowadays, people credit the first Islamic Centre as the Jami Mosque on Boustead Avenue, a converted church, but what people don't know is that it was bought by the same small community because they needed more space. Murray and Sahin, their wives were part of that small group of pioneers but stories about those special times are gradually fading for a number of reasons (48).

The coming together of the early immigrant Muslims in Toronto to build an organization and establish a centre for their religious, cultural and social activities had an air of excitement among members of the newly formed Muslim Foundation in 1968. While there were established mosques in other parts of Canada, such as in London, Ontario, as well as, in Edmonton, Alberta, the community in Toronto in the early 1960s had one fledgling centre, established by Albanian immigrants.

Early in the 20th century, a sizeable number of Albanian immigrants settled in the city and through the activism of one of these early Torontonians, Mr. Rajjab Assim, the Muslim Society of Toronto was formed in 1911. This pioneering work led to the establishment of

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the Albanian Mosque in 1954 in the Keele and Dundas area of the city and it served the cultural and religious needs of the Albanian Muslims.

In the early 1960s, religious services for the small Muslim population in the city were primarily being conducted in rental facilities and homes. In 1965, Muslim students attending the University of Toronto established the Friday services (Jumu’ah) in the institution’s historic centre, Hart House. The following year, the students formed a chapter of the rapidly growing movement, the Muslim Students Association (MSA), which was being established on university campuses across North America. Weekly Jumu’ah prayers have been conducted every Friday in Hart House, almost uninterrupted, ever since (49).

One of the first Turkish organizations in the city was the Turkish-Canadian Friendship Association, founded in 1964 by a group of Turkish workers from Germany. Located in the Kensington Market area, it was a social club and information centre for new immigrants. In the 1970’s the Turkish community helped reconstruct a mosque on Annette Street. The organization’s headquarters was on Bathurst Street in Toronto served as a welcome centre for newly arrived immigrants, as well as a community centre for the Turks of Ontario until the early 1980s.

In May 1983 the Canadian Turkish Islamic Heritage Association was established, followed by the Canadian Turkish Islamic Trust in April 1987, both registered charities located in Toronto. The trust helps to support a mosque on Pape Street in Toronto, which caters to Turkish Muslims for the most part. Earliest Turkish Mosque Fatih was opened in early1980’s on Rhodes Avenue. Another Turkish mosque established by the Anatolia Islamic Center in early 1990’s under the name of the Zafer Cultural Center on Maingate Dr. in Mississauga. Anatolian Islamic Centre (its operating title) opened the Maingate Academy, a Turkish Islamic School in 2008. There is another Turkish mosque the Mawlana located on Dufferin North. The Montreal community was first represented by the Culturelle Turque du Québec, which also has a long history of commitment and service and, at one time, had its own troop of folk dancers. Starting as a social club some thirty years ago, it has recently acquired its own building and hopes to establish a community centre (50).

With the liberalization of Canada’s immigration policy in the late 1960s, non-European immigrants started to come into the country. Muslims from South East Asia, the Middle East, South Africa and the Caribbean began immigrating into the city in sizeable numbers and their desire to fulfill their religious obligations led to the formation of the Muslim Foundation. The new Board of Trustees of the Muslim Foundation set about organizing the activities of the community, holding weekly prayer services and special events on major religious holidays, as well as publishing a newsletter.

By the fall of 1968, discussions about acquiring a property to house the new organization occupied the Board. At the Board of Trustees meeting held on Sunday November 3, 1968 in Niagara Falls, it was decided to launch a building project and fund raising campaign at that year’s Eid-ul-Fitr dinner and to dedicate the Eid sermon to highlighting the importance of a mosque for Muslim communal activities. Attending this Board meeting by invitation was Mr. Hussain al-Shahristani, an Iraqi doctoral student in nuclear chemistry at the

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University of Toronto. Al-Shahristani, a Shiite Muslim, would later return to Iraq where, in 1979, he was imprisoned by former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein for refusing to help develop the country’s nuclear capability. At the same November meeting, it was recommended that the Canadian scholar, Dr. T.B. Irving from Guelph, Ontario, be nominated at the upcoming General Body Meeting for a position on the Board of Trustees.

An accomplished scholar of linguistics, Dr. Irving went on to translate the Qur’an, “The Qur’an: First American Version”, published in 1985. 1969 proved to be a busy and pivotal year for the Muslim Foundation and for Muslim community in the city of Toronto. As the Board stepped up its search for a property in the east end of Toronto, they also sought out relationships with other organizations across South Western Ontario and the United States.

In January of 1969, Dr. T. B. Irving proposed that the Muslim Foundation take up membership in the Federation of Islamic Missions (FIA), a continental organization.

The chairman of the Board, Dr. Ahmed Fuad Sahin, also requested that meetings be initiated with surrounding Muslim communities. This initiative led to the formation of an interim committee of Muslim organizations, the Muslim Communities of Ontario and NY State.

On Sunday June 1, 1969 Dr. Ahmed Fuad Sahin and Mr. Hasib Khan were re-elected as the Chairman and Treasurer for the 1969-70 term. Dr. Sahin, on accepting the chairmanship, urged members that the leadership potential in the Muslim community should be nurtured and new leaders be groomed for the 1970-71 term of office. In the summer of 1969, the Board narrowed the search for a property to two buildings, both close to Danforth Avenue, in the south-east borough of East York in Toronto – the Legion Hall on Dawes Road and the Orange Hall on Rhodes Avenue. The 50 ‘ by 100 ‘ Orange Hall property on Rhodes Avenue (Coxwell and Gerrard Avenues), was approved by the Board of Trustees as more suitable to meet the needs of the organization as it also had the possibilities for building an extension. The Orange Hall had an interesting history – it was the home of a Scottish football team support group, Glasgow Rangers Supporters Club. It was also used as a Gospel Hall in the early 20th century.

An offer of $36,000 was approved for the property, with $25,000 to be paid on closing and the balance to be paid the following year so as to avoid interest payments. In the Fall of 1969, the name of the organization was changed to the Islamic Foundation of Toronto, to avoid the ambiguity caused by the association of Muslim Foundation with scholarships and other related activities. The seeds were planted and the official life of the Islamic Foundation of Toronto Inc. began on 17 September, 1969 when the organization was incorporated. The first officers elected were Dr. Ahmed Fuad Sahin (President), Mr. M. Muinuddin (Vice President) and Mr. Hasib Khan (Secretary/Treasurer) and the organization moved into their newly acquired building at 182-184 Rhodes Avenue in Toronto. The next installment in this series will look at the organization in 1970s and 1980s and profile its long standing President, Mohamed Nasir, who led the transformation of the Islamic Foundation of Toronto into a major Islamic Centre in Canada with the establishment of its landmark Mosque and full-time school in north-east Scarborough.

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The Islamic Foundation of Toronto’s first President, Dr. Ahmed Fuad Sahin, has been a pioneer in Canada’s Muslim community. Since immigrating to Canada in the late 1950s, Dr. Sahin has been involved in public service and was the founder or co-founder of a number of major Muslim organizations in Canada. These organizations include the Islamic Foundation of Toronto Inc., the Islamic Society of Niagara Peninsula, Islamic West Associates of Canada, Canadian Turkish Muslim Association, Council of Muslim Communities of Canada (CMCC) and IDRF (International Development and Relief Foundation). Dr. Sahin’s community service and humanitarian work extended beyond the Muslim community with his active participation in such groups as the Christian – Jewish – Muslim Dialogue and the Christian Muslim Liaison Committee. He has also represented Canada at a number of international conferences on World Peace and World Religions. He continues to serve the community as volunteer Imam of the Islamic Society of Niagara.

On January 22, 2009, Dr. Ahmed Fuad Sahin was named to the Order of Ontario for his contributions to community service. The Order of Ontario is the province’s highest official honor. It recognizes Ontarians who have made an outstanding contribution to society in Ontario and around the world (51).

Dr. Fuad Sahin was born in Urfa, Turkey, the town considered to be the birthplace of the Holy Prophet Abraham. In 1958, he came to Ontario and joined as an Internship Resident in Kingston, Ontario. In 1966, he became an Urologist, affiliated with Greater Niagara General Hospital, Niagara Falls, Ontario, where he continued to practice, until retirement.

In addition to his outstanding accomplishments in his own profession, especially in service to his patients, what Dr. Sahin should be best known for is his faithful service, leadership, and accompaniment of the Muslim communities of Ontario and the communities at large in which he has lived, worked, and served. He is an outstanding Muslim, an outstanding citizen, and an outstanding Canadian.

Over the years, he has been the motivational force, the founder, or co-founder of a significant number of organizations, which were created to promote greater understanding, awareness, and education about humanitarianism, peace, and the importance of upholding the dignity of all human beings, such as: Islamic Society of Niagara Peninsula, Islamic West Associates of Canada, Canadian Turkish Muslim Association, Islamic Foundation Inc., Toronto, Council of Muslim Communities of Canada (CMCC). Not only has he worked to strengthen Muslim organizations but he has reached out beyond his own faith.

Dr. Sahin has been unflagging in his efforts to promote inter-faith understanding of world religion through active participation in such groups as: Christian –Jewish- Muslim Dialogue and the Christian Muslim Liaison Committee. Furthermore, Dr. Sahin has represented Canada at a number of international conferences on World Peace and World Religions.

Dr. Ahmed Fuad Sahin, everyone at IDRF is proud to have been associated with him over many years and join with the Government of Ontario in recognizing his contribution to the community as a whole, the finest example of IDRF’s founding principles of human dignity, self reliance, and social justice.

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The International Development and Relief Foundation (IDRF) announces, with great pride, the appointment of Dr. Ahmed Fuad Sahin to the Order of Ontario, the highest civilian order in our province recognizing the unique contributions of outstanding Ontario citizens in the service of their fellow Ontarians and the country at large. IDRF is especially proud of Dr. Sahin, in this moment of his recognition by the province of Ontario, because of the years he devoted to the creation and growth of the International Development and Relief Foundation.

"I am pleased to invest some of our province's most deserving citizens into the Order of Ontario," said the Honourable David C. Onley, Lieutenant Governor of Ontario and Chancellor of the Order of Ontario. "This distinguished honour is bestowed on those who have gone above and beyond, those who have demonstrated excellence in various fields of endeavour."

Dr. Fuad Sahin is a Founding Member of IDRF; IDRF is his brainchild. His vision of traditional Islamic humanitarianism combined with his strong life long commitment to social justice encouraged Dr. Fuad Sahin and others to create a non-governmental organization committed to reaching out to and assisting the suffering people in every part of our world. Dr. Fuad Sahin’s original thinking still provides the basis for IDRF’s vision –built around Islamic principles of human dignity, self-reliance, and social justice –of an organization which provides emergency relief aid and long-term development assistance to vulnerable people and communities around the world, thus ensuring a more equal world for all people.

Dr. Fuad Sahin, the epitome of grace and dignity himself, has devoted a lifetime to the cause of human dignity, peace, harmony, inter-faith understanding, and social justice, and he has inspired others into action to support worthwhile causes. Dr. Sahin is deeply spiritual, and greatly inspired by Islamic Sufism, which advocates love, humility and kindness. He firmly believes that religious teachings can help activate people into improving the communities in which they live (52).

The Turkish Community today The Toronto Turkish Festival at the heart of the city (Yonge-Dundas Square) has been attract over 100 thousands of people to Toronto every summer (first weekend of August) since 2006. It is a great opportunity to develop ties between Canadians and Turks, and to introduce the Turkish culture to Canadians in the best way possible.

One of the significant Turkish organizations in Canada is the Canadian Turkish Friendship Community (CTFC), organizer of Toronto Turkish Festival that celebrates Turkish culture through music, exhibitions, arts, crafts, dance, shows and fabulous food since 2006. CTFC has established in 2005 and operates Nil Academy, a primary and secondary Turkish Canadian school, since 2006, which teaches Ontario curriculum supported by lessons related to Turkish culture. Nil Academy is also home to after school tutoring programs, workshops, programs, athletics, drama, and a gathering place for Turkish community in Toronto on important cultural holidays.

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Canadian Intercultural Dialogue Centre organizes cultural study trips to Turkey for people from academia, politics, bureaucracy, various cultural communities, and intellectual groups. These trips serves as one of the best ways to strengthen the ties between Turkey and Canada by letting people from both sides know each other better. Saygi Academic Association, which strives to build up the academic and research based relations between Canadian and Turkish institutions, maintains a network for Turkish Canadian professors from various universities. Since 2006, CIDC and Saygi organized several academic events such as symposiums, trips and dinners. CIDC also organizes an annual friendship dinner that brings together representatives from politics, academia, bureaucracy, business world and many different communities in Toronto.

Since 2006, the Turkish Culture and Folklore Society has been organizing the Turkey Pavilion at the Carassauga Festival in Mississauga. During 2000’s over 5000 young and well-educated Turkish immigrants migrated to mostly to Toronto. Sunrise newsletter published in between 2002 to 2004 by Sunrise Education Trust, and first after school program provided to Turkish Community in Toronto in Crockford Blvd, Scarborough.

Canadaturk, a biweekly community paper established in 2004, serves as a referral and communications centre for news of Turkey, local events, business and governmental inquiries, and inter-group relations.

Mississauga is home to a large number of Turkish Cypriots. Other members of the Turkish community are scattered across Toronto with areas of concentration in Victoria Park, Don Mills, Thorncliffe Park, and Downsview. The Jerrahi Sufi Order of Canada is a branch of the Halveti-Jerrahi Order of Dervishes, which is a traditional Sufi Order. They currently gather every Saturday night at 8pm in the Canadian Sufi Cultural Centre at 270 Birmingham Street in Etobicoke, Ontario where attendees come to gain knowledge about Islam through participating in discourses and discussions, observing the art of Sufi music and poetry, and celebrating the praises of God through prayer and Zikrullah (Sufi remembrance ceremony) (53).

Places to Go Popular Turkish foods such as dried apricots, beans tomato paste, olives, fish products.

Turkish pizza, Turkish shish kebab, Turkish delight, halva. coffee, pistachios, raisins, and figs are available at various Turkish markets including: Burak Market and Nezahat 3905 Keele Street unit 4. Tel. 416-638-7781. Marhce Istanbul. 3220 Dufferin St.. Unit 10A. tel.

(416) 782-8668 Imported leather goods and fashions from Turkey are available at janan Boutique. 2901 Bayview Ave., tel. (416) 222-4742.

Following are some options for those who are looking for a Turkish Restaurant. Anatolia Restaurant. 5112 Dundas St W tel. (416) 207-0596; Istanbul Turkish Delights, 5112 Dundas St tel (416) 788-8912; Club OV's, 1302 Queen St. VV., tel. (416) 533-9588; Turkuvem Restaurant, 290 The West Mall. M9C 1C6, tel. (416) 621-4860; Pizza Memo (three locations) 1216 St. Clair Ave. W. tel. (416) 654-3654, 551 Bloor St. VV tel. (416) 516-3030. and .1407 Queen St. W. tel. (416) 531-3400. Champion. 980 Danforth Ave. Tel: 416-465-1989. Turkuaz Gril. 3354 Keele Street. Tel: 416-636-3600. Pizza Pide. 949 Gerard Street. Tel: 416 4629666. Turkish Grill. 865 Wilson Ave. Tel: 647-588-8251. Sofra Grill. 8707 Dufferin St. Thornhill. Tel: 905-9079999 Lezzet Shawarma&Falafel. Dixi and

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Burhanthrope Best Shawarma&Falafel. 2488 Dufferin Street. Tel: 416-787-2300 Doneir Kebab House. 391 Yonge Street. Tel: 416- 593-6914. Levante's Gourmet Kebaps/ 1406 Yonge St. Tel: 416- 944-0300. Best Shawarma. Yonge& Wellesley.

Ankara Library, 501 Eglinton Ave. E., M4P 1N4, tel. (416) 489-9371 is a small community library that contains mostly books on Turkish history ami literature.

Religious Centers, Schools and Other Institutions The Turkish mosque, at 336 Pape Ave., tel. (416) 469-2610, was established in 1984.

President Ismail Aycan Fatih Mosque, 182 Rhodes Ave., tel. (4 16) 462-1401 Mawlana Mosque, 65 Wingold Ave., tel. (416) 784-2013.

Anatolia Islamic Centre, 5280 Maingate Dr., Mississauga, tel: (905) 629-4764, is also home to Maingate Academy, a Turkish Islamic School. President; Binali Bulut.

Turkish language classes are held in fixe different language schools in the GTA, in North York, Mississauga, Toronto. Richmond Hill, and Brampton.

Turkish language interpreters and translators: Murat Kandemir tel (647) 220-1975 Hulya Oyman tel (416) 226-9610 Holidays and Celebrations  

Turkish Festival by CTFC at Yonge-Dundas Square, first weekend of August.

The Annual Anatolia Ball with a dinner and dance is organized by the Turkish Culture and Folklore Society of Canada in March!  An annual picnic is organized by the Turkish Canadian Islamic Heritage Association.

National Days for people from Turkey: Children's Day, April 23.

Victory Day, August 30.

Republic Day October 29.

THE TURKISH COMMUNITY Media  Canadaturk, newspaper published twice a month based in Toronto, www.canadaturk.ca.  Bizim Anadolu, newspaper published monthly, www.bizimanadolu.com.  Turkuaz TV, OMNI TV, 545 Lakeshore Blvd. W., Saturdays, 9:30 a.m to 10:00 a.m. and Mondays, 11:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. Host: Haber Bulteni.

Organizations  Nil Academy: 25 Civic Road. www.nilacademy.com info@nilacademy.com (416) 285-0115  Canadian Turkish Friendship Community. 2488 Dufferin Street www.cftcommunity.com Tel. 416-787-2300  Canadian Intercultural Dialogue Centre. www.canadianintercultural.ca Tel. 64737

             

968-4556 Saygi Academic Association. www.saygi.ca.

Dicle Islamic Society. www.islamicteaching.ca. info@islamicteaching.ca.

Anatolian Islamic Center, 5280 Maingate Drive Tel: 905-629-4764.

Canadian Turkish Chamber of Commmerce. 5231 Yonge Street, Suit 205 M2N 5T8 Toronto, Ontario info@tcccommerce.org Canadian Turkmen Center, 29 Tinton Cres. Email: canadaturkmenmerkezi@hotmail.com Canadian Turkish Community Center, 51 Lillac Ave., L3T 5K1 Email: toronto_turk_evi@yahoo.ca.

Canadian Turkish Business Council, 5995 Avebury Rd., Suite 900, Mississauga, L5R 3P9, tel. (905) 568-8300 ext. 288, fax (905) 568-8330, www.ctbc.ca. Promotes and facilitates the flow of bilateral trade between Canada and Turkey.

ITU alumni association, P.O. Box 925, Station F, M4Y 2N9, www.itu.ca.

The Federation Of Canadian Turkish Association, 1 Yonge St., Suite 1801, M5E 1W7, tel. (416) 915-2331, fax (416) 369-0515, www.cnturkfed.org. Contact: Nedim Duzenli Turkish Canadian Islamic Heritage Association, 336 Pape Ave., M4M 2W7, tel.

(416) 793-9107, fax (416) 469-2610. Maintains religious ties between the mosque and the community. President: Ismail Aycan.

The Turkish Culture and Folklore Society Of Canada, 660 Eglinton Ave. E., P.O. Box 50001, M6G 4G1. a non-profit organization to promote an understanding of Turkish culture and folklore among Turks and Canadians. President: Mutlu Aycan.

Solidarity Of Turks from Bulgaria, 4101 Westminster Pi., Unit 47, tel. (905) 9499309, fax (905) 949-6970. Contact: Ismail Vataner.

Iraqi Turkman Association Of Toronto, 1306 Bloor St. W., M6H 1N9 (24).

Jerrahi Sufi Order of Canada: Canadian Sufi Cultural Centre at 270 Birmingham Street in Etobicoke, Ontario, http://jerrahi.ca/

Prominent Torontonians Dr. I. Gokeen; A. Guler. First Vice-President, Prudential Bache; N. Onen and M. Seckin.

Consulting engineers; Dr. E. Orfi, physician; E. Ozerdinc. set construction; Yalcin Suer, president and C.E.O. of Technology Licencing inc.; B. Turksen, Professor, University of Toronto. Üstün Bilgen-Reinart, Turkish- Canadian writer, journalist and broadcaster Enis Esmer, Canadian actor and comedian Nil Köksal, Canadian television journalist Arda Ocal, Turkish Canadian TV and radio broadcaster and writer Ibrahim Dincer, Professor Ontario University NOTES: * Canadian MPP Tony Ruprecht has prepared a unique contribution to Toronto's historic and cultural life by publishing “Toronto's Many Faces”, a 400-page guidebook to more

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than 67 diverse cultural including Turkish communities in 1990. A fourth publication was printed in March 2005. Next edition will be published in 2009. A Turkish Community page in this latest book is written by Contributors: Faruk Arslan, Journalist- Writer, Fatih Yegul, CTFC, PhD Student Unv. of Waterloo, Varol Soyler, Executive director of CIDC, Filiz Tumer, former Executive Director, Turkish Federation; Ali Bukey ABCO Engineering and founding member of the Canadian Turkish Business Council; Demir Delen, partner, Morrison Hershfield Consulting Engineers; Yaman Uzumeri. * Muneeb Nasir. Planting the Seeds – History of the Islamic Foundation of Toronto, May 22, 2009. www.iqra.ca. Nasir is President of the Olive Tree Foundation (www.olivetreefoundation.ca), a public endowment foundation. He served as a Board of Director of the Islamic Foundation of Toronto in the early 1990s, on a number of committees in the organization from 1974 to 1995 and as Chairman of its Program Committee for many years).

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Chapter Four Why I Am a Muslim

By Dr. David J. Liepert Not very long ago I wanted my faith to remain as it always had been. At the time, I was an evangelical Baptist. To me this meant that I believed that Jesus(PBUH) was God Incarnate and that he had died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins. In return for this, and also because of my obedience in baptism and communion, I received the grace of forgiveness as a gift from God. I was also taught that as an additional benefit of my belief, I would gradually become a better person and, more importantly, a better servant for God as the Holy Spirit changed me from the inside out. I believed with all my heart that this was what was taught by the Bible and that the words of the Bible were literally true, although I understood that it was necessary to consider the context and experiences of the peoples who had been originally addressed. I knew that the Bible was the Word of God to His people.

As a child I had been raised by my parents to be a Lutheran. During those early years, I wasn't bothered by questions about my doctrine. Actually, I don't even recall that these basic facts and assumptions all Christians are expected to accept had even been identified to me when I was a child. For me, Christianity was going to Church, believing in God as revealed by Jesus and the rest of the Bible, and trying to do what was right. I lived secure in the knowledge that God would love me no matter what I did, as long as I worshipped "Him" and did my best.

Being raised in the family and community in which I was, my religious identity as a Christian was pretty inevitable. Although I knew many people who didn't believe in God at all, they really made little sense to me. I didn’t understand how someone’s belief or dis-belief in God could influence God’s existence. It seemed to me that either God was real or He wasn't, independent of what anybody “believed”. Since it seemed impossible to me that God would not exist and since I wanted to be on “His” good side, I looked for information about God from the world around me. I was surrounded by people who claimed to know God and so I listened to them, followed their teaching and accepted their guidance.

I still have vivid memories of my childhood Faith in God. I have seen the word "immanence" used to describe the awareness of God's presence, and it is generally spoken of as if it is a rare experience that some people try to create within themselves with meditation, drugs or religious ecstasy. Immanence has been a part of my daily life since long before I knew the word, sometimes in the background as a comforting presence, and sometimes otherwise. As a teenager, one evening I was riding my bicycle between two fences along a path when I heard a voice in my ear say, "Duck!". I did, immediately and without thinking. When I stopped to investigate, there was no-one visible for hundreds of feet around me, but a fine piano wire had been strung between two fence posts across the path at such a level that it would probably have cut off my head at the speed that I had been riding. Another time, the same voice made me back up in traffic just before a semitrailer

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drove over the front of my car. My mother tells me that as a pre-school child I frequently reported visits by something I called "The Blue Giant", a glowing, friendly entity who came by at night to see how I was feeling. I apparently told her that this was my Guardian Angel. An awareness of God and God's messengers were part of my life before I had any religious knowledge or training. When I was young, I didn't need to understand any of this to accept it. My mother said that I welcomed my Blue Giant visits, and looked forward to them. The voice that infrequently commanded me was one that I simply obeyed without thinking, sometimes to my confusion and frustration. Once, when I was about sixteen years old, a married woman was obviously making a attempt to seduce me when I simply got up and started to walk away, paralyzed from the waist up, wanting to return but completely unable to control my legs! None of these events had a life-shaking impact on me, nor did I feel any need to share them with others.

As I grew up they were easily explained and categorized within Christian doctrine and incorporated into my developing Christianity, subject and subordinate to the religion and theology that I was learning.

I first started to develop difficulties with Christianity when I entered adolescence and began to examine the “Grace of God” as it was taught in the Church that I attended. I had learned that sins were rebellious thoughts or actions of mine that were not part of God's plan for me which I should have avoided, but which I instead choose to knowingly and willingly participated in. I had always understood that I was forgiven for all of my sins because of God’s goodness, not my own. Since I knew just what I was capable of, this was reassuring to me. I also understood that my failure to be perfect was inevitable. My teachers said that I had not been made perfect by God and it was only through the work of God that I could ever become better than I was. In a way, I believed that God was responsible for my imperfections. “Original Sin” (which I understood to be the capacity for sin that came as a consequence of my free will, rather than some left-over guilt from my ancestors) was something God had bequeathed to me simply because I had been born human, not as a result of any decision of my own. Since I thought that my faults before God-my-Judge were a consequence of my existence, and preordained by God-my-Creator, it seemed fair to me that God played a necessary part in and was, in a way, responsible for their correction. I accepted this because I knew how weak willed I was when it came to choosing between pleasure and righteousness. What was important to me was that I had always been taught that I could un-conditionally count on God’s forgiveness and help because of my belief and my baptism. This gave me a certain measure of control over the eventual fate of my soul that my religious instructors later called my “assurance of salvation”.

My problem was that very little was taught about repentance and obedience to God by the people I was listening to. Although this made my faith a very convenient one to practice, it was uncomfortable for me to read the Gospels, because Jesus seemed to stress repentance and obedience very, very strongly. I sometimes found myself in situations where my own behavior, as well as that of my friends and religious teachers, stood in stark contrast to the behavior of the men and women of the Bible. I stepped back and watched myself and others and realized that there was little impetus to obey the moral code expressed in the Bible, even though we all professed to follow its teachings. Since we believed that our drive to transgress was inborn and that our salvation was a result of God’s direct intervention in our lives, and because forgiveness was assured and God’s

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punishment made impossible by our Faith, most of us generally lived by the prayer: “O God, make me perfect, but not yet!�, so that we could continue to live as we wanted, rather than as we knew that we should.

It seemed to me that few people actually took God very seriously. Since we could always count on the mercy of God, we all had little cause to do what we knew was right. I was frequently present at tearful scenes of repentance both preceded and followed by joyful and wanton disobedience. I generally tried to enjoy this sort of life myself.

Unfortunately, whenever I actually sat down and read the Bible, I found Jesus condemning just this sort of hypocrisy. Since what I really wanted from my faith was certainty about my future fate and God's judgement, I felt uncomfortable with the apparent contradiction between what the Gospels said and what we, the people of the Church, practiced. I decided to examine the fundamentals of my Faith. I figured that it would be very simple for me to find out where I had gone wrong and to fix it.

After some study, prayer and reflection I decided that I could blame the inconsistencies and problems that I was discovering not on myself, but on my teachers departure from pure Bible teaching into broader areas of religious philosophy. The pastor of the church that I was attending at the time and the people who had taught me my religion were all very well educated. Because of this, the majority of the lessons to which I was exposed came from sources outside the Bible, even though the Bible was supposed to be the basis of all of our beliefs. Sometimes, it seemed that the Bible verse that was used as the starting point for a class seemed quite far removed from the conclusion that was finally reached. This left me with the uncomfortable feeling that I was relying too heavily on the opinions of others, and not enough on the opinion of God. I knew that Christianity was supposed to be accessible to anyone, regardless of education.

I grew concerned that frequently my pastors and teachers seemed to be showing off their superior intellectual skills and knowledge instead of teaching from the Word. I left the Lutheran Church to seek out a group that focused on Scripture, straight from the Bible and who had a healthy distrust for intellectual manipulations. I ended up in the Baptist Church (54).

I read the Bible to find convincing evidence to confirm Christian doctrine so that I could teach Muslims that they should become Christians. Instead, I found that the Bible does not independently support a doctrine that claims that Jesus is God, in trinity or otherwise.

As well, I did not find support from Jesus or in the Old Testament for the doctrine that Jesus died to take the penalty of our sins onto himself so that we could be forgiven by God. Even the New Testament writers whose words could be construed in that way became less clear with scrutiny. The Bible didn't say that God requires sacrifice. In fact, it said: "For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings" in Hosea 6:6, and "Sacrifice and burnt offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced (or opened), burnt offering and sin offerings you did not require. Then I said, 'Here I am, I have come--it is written about me in the scroll." in Psalm 40:6-7. It seems inconsistent to me now that Christianity should teach that God is eternal and omnipotent, and yet claim that "He" cannot forgive sin without sacrificial bloodshed.

What the Bible taught me was that Jesus was sent by God and born of a virgin by the power of God to be the Messiah described in the Old Testament. He is identified as the

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"Word of God" in both the Bible and the Quran. I believe that the Spirit which came to him was the Spirit of Wisdom, and that this Spirit is the one which has always been with the Prophets of God. This Spirit is spoken of as being distinct from God and His angels in both the Holy Bible and the Holy Quran. I believe that Jesus had a special relationship with the Holy Spirit, as evidenced by his miraculous acts (for which he generally denied credit) and I think John, Peter and Paul thought so too, but I do not pretend to understand what that relationship was. I also don’t think that this belief of mine is important, because Jesus himself did not say much about it. The rest of the Holy Bible and the Holy Quran say only that he was supported by the Holy Spirit.

Jesus taught faith in God, repentance and obedience. For his obedient followers, he promised to intercede with God that they might receive the help of the Holy Spirit. I think that this is also the Spirit of Wisdom. It is important to remember that according to the Gospels, God is the One who decides who will receive this gift, not Jesus. Jesus was condemned to death by crucifixion by Pontius Pilate and he went willingly to this fate, submitting himself to God. Instead, God lifted him up to be with Him. When he returns, Jesus will take his righteous followers to be with him in Heaven. Everything that happened to Jesus was with God’s permission.

When I still believed that the Bible taught that Jesus was God Incarnate, I had always had trouble understanding Jesus's prayer in the garden of Gethsemane. There, Jesus asked God to spare him from the next day's arrest, trial, torture and condemnation, saying: "Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." in Matthew 14:36. If Jesus had really been hinting throughout his time on earth that he was divine, then I sometimes wondered why he made a distinction between his will and God's? My non-christian friends also questioned whether Jesus's suffering was really all that significant, since as God he would have known the severity, duration and outcome, and likely would have been able to call upon greater than human resources of strength and perserverence.

When I finally accepted Jesus's humanity, I saw an eloquent illustration of the Glory, Power and Goodness of God: That Jesus, though only a man, was able with the help of the Spirit to fulfill the Law (sufficiently in God's Justice and Mercy), and was exalted and raised by God to Heaven as promised. When in the past I had feared God's Judgement, I was comforted by the assurance that His son had taken my punishment onto himself.

Now, I instead remember that Jesus taught that we all belong to God, and that included among the infinite perspectives from which God considers each of us is the love that a Father has for their beloved child.

Because I have these beliefs, I was unable to remain a Christian, even though I am convinced that I believe what the Bible was meant to teach. I think the most important thing that I learned is that Faith and doctrine are not the same. Faith is not the ability to believe, nor is belief proof of Faith. Faith is obedience and submission to God. Faith is trust. This trust is God's gift to each of us. Every individual reported to have had Faith, in either the Bible or the Quran regardless of their belief, willingly chose to submit to and obey the commands of God. Those reported to have rebelled against God did not rebel by their beliefs. They rebelled by their actions.

I had been warned to avoid the Quran, because it would destroy my Faith. Instead, when I read the Quran I found myself learning what Faith really was. As well, I found my confidence in the validity of the actual teachings of the Bible confirmed. It was this Gift

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of Faith that made me Muslim. When I asked for Wisdom, I was given Faith in God, rather than faith in my own doctrines.

I had always been taught that the two Books; the Holy Bible and the Holy Quran, were in opposition. I found that this was not the case. Even regarding Jesus, the Quran supported everything that the Bible actually said. I think that the fact that the two books each confirm the other is one of the greatest signs of their truth, that despite over a thousand years of political maneuvering, secular forces have been unable to substantially change the actual words, even though they have been able to change their interpretation.

The Quran makes it very plain that fruitless religious arguments between Jews, Christians and Muslims are to be avoided. Surah 29:46-7 says: “And dispute ye not with the People of the Book, except with means better (than mere disputation), unless it be with those of them who inflict wrong (and Injury); But say, ‘We believe in the Revelation which has come down to us and in that which came down to you; Our God and your God is One; and it is to him we bow (in Islam)". Vain disputation is forbidden in both the Bible and the Quran. I believe that the Books speak for themselves.

Far from opposing Jesus, Muslims even look forward to the "second coming" when we will join with Jesus in prayer and in opposing Satan. Sayings of Mohammed(PBUH) which are not directly quoted from the Quran are collected in the Hadiths. One of these from Kitab Al-Fitan Wa Ashrat as SA'ah Chapter MCXCVIII says: "Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: 'The Last Hour would not come until the Romans would land at al-Amaq or in Dabiq. An army consisting of the best of the people of the earth at that time will come from Medina to conteract them. When they will arrange themselves in ranks, the Romans would say: 'Do not stand between us and those Muslims who took prisoners from amongst us. Let us fight with them'; and the Muslims would say: 'Nay, by Allah, we would never get aside from you and from our brethren that you may fight them'. Then will they fight and a third part of the army would run away, whom Allah will never forgive. A third part of the army, which would be constituted of excellent martyrs in Allah's eye, would be killed and the third who would never be put to trial would win and they would be conquerors of Constantinople. And as they would be busy in distributing the spoils of war amongst themselves after hanging their swords in olive trees, Satan would cry; 'The Dajjal has taken your place among your family.' They would then come out, but it would be of no avail. And when they would come to Syria, he would come out while they would be still preparing themselves for battle drawing up the ranks. Certainly the time of prayer shall come and then Jesus (peace be upon him) the son of Mary would descend and would lead them in prayer.

When the enemy of Allah would see him, it would disappear just as salt dissolves itself in water and if Jesus were not to confront them at all, even then it would dissolve completely, but Allah would kill them by his hand, and he would show them their blood on his lance (the lance of Jesus Christ)."

To be a follower of Jesus or Mohammed or Moses or any other of the many Prophets of The One God, we must live in service to the Will of God. Moses said: “Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might.” A Pharisee named Hillel, about a hundred years before Christ, was asked by a centurion to summarize the Laws of Judaism while standing on one foot. Perched on one leg, he said: “Hear O Israel, the

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Lord your God, the Lord is One. Do not do unto others what you would not have done unto you....The rest is only commentary.” Later, Jesus said: “Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One: you shall love the Lord your God with all your Heart, and with all your Soul and with all your Mind, and with all your might. and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The Holy Quran in Surah 2:177 teaches: “It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces towards east or west; But it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; To spend of your substance out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; To be steadfast in prayer; and practice regular charity, to fulfill the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient in pain and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing.”

The message has always been the same. All of God's Prophets have taught faith, submission, obedience, kindness, charity, equality and fair dealing. Therefore I pray, fast and make my offerings as a Muslim now because I am sure that following Islam is a path that pleases God and because I can no longer believe this of Christianity. Although I was forced by my studies to give up many of the beliefs that I once had, what I am left with is a certainty that whatever God wants will be done in my life and my life to come. I have some difficulty conceiving why I would ever have wanted anything else.

I think the one thing that first attracted me to Islam was its simplicity. The word "Islam" means "submission". There are to me three principles from which the rest of Islam is derived. The first, and most important is that there is only One God, who named "himself" "I am, that I am" to Moses, who is called "Allah", "The Lord" in Arabic and simply "God" in English. God is the only uncreated "One" and requires nothing to continue unchanged and perfect for all eternity. Surah 2:255 says: "Allah! There is no god but He- The Living, The Self-Subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him, nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there who can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them, for He is The Most High, The Supreme( in glory)."

The second is that God has chosen to reveal his messages to us through exalted Prophets, some known to us, and some not, but all of whom have brought the same core message, varying only because the recipients were different peoples. Surah 10:47 and Surah 23:5152 say: "To every people (was sent) a Messenger: when their Messenger comes (before them), the matter will be judged between them with justice and they will not be wronged."

"O ye messengers! enjoy (All) things good and pure, and work righteousness: for I am well-acquainted with (all) that ye do. And verily this Brotherhood of yours is a single Brotherhood. and I am your Lord and Cherisher: therefore Fear Me (and no other)." Surah 4:150-152 is a strong warning that we should avoid the temptation of Christians, and some Muslims, to exalt any one messenger over the rest: "Those who deny Allah and His Messengers, and (those who) wish to seperate Allah from His Messengers, saying: "We believe in some but reject others": and (those who) wish

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to take a course midway- they are in truth (equally) unbelievers; and We have prepared for Unbelievers a humiliating punishment. To those who believe in Allah and His Messengers and make no distinction between any of His messengers, We shall soon give their (due) rewards: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Another principle is that God does not elevate any of the rest of us, Muslim or otherwise, above another, and judges us all by the same standard; our submission to "Him". "O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well-acquainted (with all things).", Surah 49:13.

I call myself a Muslim, knowing that to be a Muslim means being one of God's willing servants, and one of a community of believers who follow the teachings of Islam. To me, Surah 2:62: “Those who believe (in the Quran), and those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Christians and the Sabians- any who believe in Allah and the Last Day and work righteousness, shall have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.” is a reminder that just calling myself a Muslim is not enough. In the end, I will be judged on the basis of my faith and actions and mercifully punished or rewarded by God, who is Most Just and who always knows everything.

The Declaration, spoken in Arabic, that there is no God but Allah, and that Muhammed(PBUH) is his Messenger, joins all Muslims in one Faith. The five daily prayers keep us from evil and help us remain in obedience to God. Although each prayer takes less than five minutes, it is difficult to contemplate doing something one knows to be wrong if one knows he or she will be praying to God, who knows everything, in the next couple of hours! Fasting during the month of Ramadan teaches self-control.

Charity, given in love and respect by those who have more than they need, to those who have less, is a good act that benefits the giver through purification and the recipient by providing for their sustenance. And lastly, the pilgrimage to Mecca, enjoined upon those who can make the journey, is an act of service and praise to God that benefits those who can make it, both in this life as an opportunity to participate in Worship within the larger Muslim community, and in the next life, since praise and service are Good acts, pleasing to God. Unfortunately, religion and politics have become linked to the extent that many people think of Muslims only in political terms. Because of this some people choose to criticize Islam because of the laws and governance of some Muslim nations. It should not be surprising that the practices which receive their greatest attention and condemnation are not necessarily supported by the Holy Quran. The obsession that some Muslims have with their own fine points of doctrine, resulting in schisms and even bloodshed within Islam is condemned. Surah 6:159 says “As for those who divide their religion and break up into sects, thou hast no part in them in the least: Their affair is with Allah: He will in the end tell them the truth of all that they did.”

Likewise, the temptation to legislate religion is something that I think should be avoided.

People must choose freely whether or not to revert to Islam. According to Surah 2:256: “Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy

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handhold that never breaks.” There are some issues upon which not all Muslims agree.

When we are deciding how to act, dress, eat and live, we are expected to do our utmost to obey God, the Prophets and the Word. Sometimes, this calls for interpretation. Issues of importance are absolutely clear in the Quran. Laws forcing the unwilling to participate in religious observances that may or may not be founded in God’s Word should be avoided.

On the other hand, if a people chooses amongst themselves to live by certain rules and practices that do not harm themselves or others, it really is not appropriate for the rest of the world to stand in judgement over them.

Many non-Muslims look at Islam today and ask how it is possible to profess to be a member of a religious group in whose name so much evil is apparently done in the world.

As I read the Quran and talk with fellow Muslims, it is obvious that there is no place for terrorism in Islam. Jihad cannot be declared against non-combatants. People who commit murder and rape or those who use their own interpretations of Islam to oppress and subjugate others cannot be practicing Islam, whatever they may claim, because these are simply not the actions of a servant of God. This does not mean that I automatically disown any of my brothers or sisters who stand accused of heinous acts. Before you can judge another person by their actions, you must have a lot more information than second-hand accounts of what they did. One man or governments terrorist may well be a man or woman fighting for his or her family, life, and dignity against insuperable odds with whatever means they find at hand. It is very easy for our own interpretation of events to be manipulated by those who control the information that we receive. News reports are always controlled by reporters, their sources, their editors and the context in which they live and work.

Finally, if it is correct and proper to judge a religion by its followers, we then must condemn every religion in the history of humanity. Every follower rebels against what they are taught and falls short of perfection, whatever their faith. One need only look at the remote and recent history of the Christian Church to find evidence of rebellion in the worshippers of Jesus. The recent Christian Serbian genocidal campaign against Bosnian Muslims stands as an excellent example. When I was a Christian I did not feel that I had to question my own beliefs simply because some serial rapist declared himself to have been a born again Baptist. If you judge a religion, you should judge it by its sources, not by those who claim to follow it.

We are all striving to please God. We need to make room for each-other. I believe we can help achieve this by honest dialogue. A Muslim friend was recently confronted by a well meaning Christian on the campus of our University who said: “I’m just so worried about you because I don’t want you to go to hell!” She obviously didn’t realize that the woman she so addressed returned her concern! We have one God, but many different doctrines. I have now come to question whether by themselves, our beliefs and doctrines matter as much as we all seem to think that they do. If Faith is really a gift from God, then we are all joined in that Faith by God. Although we are separated from each-other by our doctrines, I wonder if perhaps it is our pre-occupation with providing explanations for God's goodness, or at least with believing that only we have the "correct" ones, that's wrong (55).

Christian interpretation and re-interpretation over the centuries has rendered the Bible quite suspect to many. This is unfortunate, since there is guidance in the words of all of the Prophets, and Muslims are commanded to make no distinctions between them. I believe 47

that the title "Son of God" in its linkage to the "Messiah" refers to a specific relationship described in the Old Testament between a man and his God. It implies neither a biological function for The Creator, nor a divine origin for Jesus. I had been afraid to read the Quran because I had been taught to expect blasphemy. I don't think that sincere servants and searchers for truth should feel they must avoid the Bible, particularly in these modern times when there is an honest attempt being made, in the translation and interpretation of newly discovered writings, to return to the originally intended lessons.

When I first began to study Islam to find flaws that I could use to win its followers to my own beliefs, I was surprised by how many of the Muslims I knew had actually read the Bible. None of them were surprised or shocked by what they had read, and all expressed confusion as to how Christianity had developed. I haven’t really addressed that question, but I think my own ideas are quite obvious. We must all be diligent in believing and following God’s Word as it is written, not as others interpret it. In the past, and even now in less literate countries, it is easy for those who are able to read God's Word to control the actions of those who cannot, by manipulating their beliefs. Even among the literate, it is easy to give control of ones faith and actions to a charismatic leader, but it is not correct to do so. It is especially wrong to ascribe to a creed because everyone else does when so many of us have the tools to examine what the Prophets actually taught. If one follows the herd, one can practice the cultural and political aspects of a religion in isolation, and forget that there is something very real, over and above everything else.

Primarily, I have written this for Christians who are now as I was, honestly striving to follow Jesus and worship God but who are instead foundering in a morass made up of two thousand years of accumulated scholarly manipulation of God's word. As I said at the beginning of this book, it is very tempting to choose to belong to a religion that promises to predict, moderate or control God's Judgement. I honestly believed that God had given me those gifts. I had little difficulty finding verses in the Bible to support my belief. It was only when I read the Bible as a whole, focusing on what Jesus, Isaiah, Jeremiah and the other Prophets had actually said that I began to question whether my belief was correct. I found that I had been forcing the Words into the meaning that I wanted, rather than reading them for the lessons that were actually there. I wanted to believe that Christian doctrine correctly represented the Bible, because I believed it gave me assurances of peace with God. When I became Muslim I accepted that my Faith and beliefs must follow what God has actually revealed if I truly want to serve "Him". Jesus commanded us to accept him and his lessons as a little child would. Children don't examine the words of their teachers for hidden meanings. They accept what they are told by the people they trust, as the literal truth (56).

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Chapter Five Canadian Deacon Embraces Islam

By Abdullah DeLancey This is my story: How I found Islam. My name is Abdullah DeLancey. I am Canadian and I am employed as a Patient Service Worker at the local Hospital. I have been married for almost 20 years and we have 3 wonderful children. Alhamdulillah. I am a now a Muslim. I wasn’t always a Muslim though. Previously; I was a Protestant Christian for all of my life.

My family brought me up in the Pentecostal Church until I was an adult at which time I moved to a fundamental Independent Baptist Church. As a faithful Christian I was very involved at Church, giving lectures for the Adult Sunday School and other duties. I was eventually elected as the Deacon of the Church. I really wanted to further my dedication to God and decided to pursue a career as a Minister. I was awarded a scholarship to help me start taking a Degree in Divinity. My goal was to be a Pastor of a Church or a Missionary.

However, becoming a Minister would commit me and my whole family to the Church full time for life. So just before attending Bible College, I thought it best to look at Christianity critically and ask some very serious questions about my faith. I questioned the trinity, why God would need a son, and why the human sacrifice of Jesus, as stated in the bible, was needed to provide me with forgiveness. I questioned the Christian belief of how all the righteous people in the Old Testament were “saved” and in heaven if Jesus wasn’t even born yet. I pondered serious questions about Christianity that I had neglected to ask my whole life. The answers I received from Christians on these theological issues “which are the basis of the faith in Christianity” defied all reason and were absolutely beyond any logical thinking. Why would God give us a wonderful brain and then expect us to temporarily stop using it? Because that is what Christianity is asking people to do when they say you just must have faith. That is blind faith.

Realizing that I had always accepted Christianity, with Blind faith for my entire life and never had questioned it was perplexing to me. How could I have not realized this before? I could not find the answers in the Bible. Once I realized that the trinity was a myth and that God is powerful enough to “save” someone without the need for help from a son or anyone or anything else. Things changed. My entire faith in Christianity fell apart. I could no longer believe in Christianity or be a Christian. I left the Church for good and my wife dutifully left with me, as she was having trouble accepting Christianity too.

This was the start of my spiritual journey.

I was now without a Religion but believed in a God. This was a very hard time for me and my family as Christianity was all we had ever known. I had to search for the truth.

I began studying various religions and found them as false one after another. Until, I heard about Islam. Islam!!! What was that? As far as I could remember, I had never known a Muslim and Islam was not heard or spoken of “as a faith” in my part of Canada. Unless, of course, it was news stories talking bad about Islam. For me at that time, Islam was not even 49

a consideration. Not on my religious radar at all.

But then I started to read a little about Islam. Then, I kept reading a little more. Then, I read the Quran. This wonderful revelation of truth has changed my life forever. I immediately started to study ever piece of information pertaining to Islam I could get my hands on. I discovered the nearest Mosque was about 100 miles away from my city. So I promptly loaded the family van and drove my family to this Mosque. On the way, I was very nervous but also very excited at the same time..

I asked myself. Was I even allowed in the Mosque because I wasn't an Arab or a Muslim ?

However after arriving at the Mosque I quickly realized I had nothing to fear. I was greeted by the Imam and the Muslims with a most warm greeting. I found them very nice. Nothing like the bad things the news always said about Muslims. They gave me a book by Ahmed Deedat and assured me I could be a Muslim. I studied all the material on Islam they gave me. I appreciated these books very much because our local library had only 4 books on Islam. After studying I was in shock. How could I have been a Christian for so long and never heard the truth. I now believed in Islam. I knew it and I wanted to convert. I was put in contact with the small Muslim community in my city.

On March 24th 2006 I went to the Mosque. Just before Friday prayer started and with most of the local Muslim Community present as witness. I testified that” La illaha ill Allah, Muhammadur Rasul Allah” “There is no God but Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. I was now a Muslim. It was the best day of my life. I love Islam and have peace now.

Difficult times have come since I became a Muslim. When people started realizing I was now a Muslim they would shun me or laugh at me, most of our old Christian friends have never talked to us again. My parents have all but disowned me. I love being a Muslim and it doesn't matter if some of my fellow Canadians think of me as odd for becoming a Muslim. Why? The reason is that I alone, am the one that will have to answer to Allah after my death. Allah is the giver of strength and all mighty Allah has helped me through all the rough times after my conversion to Islam. I have many, many Muslim Brothers now. I have legally changed my first name to Abdullah, which I like very much. I am now the first and only Muslim Chaplain approved to work at the local hospital in my City.

I am a Muslim and I am truly happy. All Thanks be to Allah.

That is how I became a Muslim. Islam is right for you too. Maybe you are not just randomly reading this article by chance. Maybe you already believe Allah is the one and only true God. Do you want to have life and become a Muslim right now. It is a big step.

But the best step you will ever take. Once you have decided that Islam is the truth. The only thing you must do to become a Muslim is truly believe and freely testify that “There is no God but Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Testify to this truth with me now.

Become Muslim and have life (57).

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Chapter Six Finding the Prophet in his People

By Ingrid Mattson * I spent a lot of time looking at art the year before I became a Muslim. Completing a degree in Philosophy and Fine Arts, I sat for hours in darkened classrooms where my professors projected pictures of great works of Western art on the wall. I worked in the archives for the Fine Arts department, preparing and cataloging slides. I gathered stacks of thick art history books every time I studied in the university library. I went to art museums in Toronto, Montreal and Chicago. That summer in Paris, "the summer I met Muslims" as I always think of it, I spent a whole day (the free day) each week in the Louvre.

What was I seeking in such an intense engagement with visual art? Perhaps some of the transcendence I felt as a child in the cool darkness of the Catholic Church I loved. In high school, I had lost my natural faith in God, and rarely thought about religion after that. In college, philosophy had brought me from Plato, through Descartes only to end at Existentialism-a barren outcome. At least art was productive-there was a tangible result at the end of the process. But in the end, I found even the strongest reaction to a work of art isolating. Of course I felt some connection to the artist, appreciation for another human perspective. But each time the aesthetic response flared up, then died down. It left no basis for action.

Then I met people who did not construct statues or sensual paintings of gods, great men and beautiful women. Yet they knew about God, they honored their leaders, and they praised the productive work of women. They did not try to depict the causes; they traced the effects.

Soon after I met my husband, he told me about a woman he greatly admired. He spoke of her intelligence, her eloquence and her generosity. This woman, he told me, tutored her many children in traditional and modern learning. With warm approval, he spoke of her frequent arduous trips to refugee camps and orphanages to help relief efforts. With profound respect, he told me of her religious knowledge, which she imparted to other women in regular lectures. And he told me of the meals she had sent to him, when she knew he was too engaged in his work with the refugees to see to his own needs. When I finally met this woman I found that she was covered, head to toe, in traditional Islamic dress. I realized with some amazement that my husband had never seen her. He had never seen her face. Yet he knew her. He knew her by her actions, by the effects she left on other people.

Western civilization has a long tradition of visual representation. No longer needing more from such art than a moment of shared vision with an artist alive or dead, I can appreciate it once more. But popular culture has made representation simultaneously omnipresent and anonymous. We seem to make the mistake of thinking that seeing means knowing, and that the more exposed a person is, the more important they are.

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*** Islamic civilization chose not to embrace visual representation as a significant means of remembering and honoring God and people. Allah is The Hidden, veiled in glorious light from the eyes of any living person. But people of true vision can know God by contemplating the effects of his creative power, Do they not look to the birds above them, Spreading their wings and folding them back?

None can uphold them except for The Merciful.

Truly He is watchful over all things (Qur'an, 67:19) If God transcends his creation, it is beyond the capacity of any human to depict him.

Indeed, in Islamic tradition, any attempt to depict God with pictures is an act of blasphemy.

Rather, a Muslim evokes God, employing only those words that God has used to describe himself in his revelation. Among these descriptive titles are the so-called "99 Names of God," attributes that are recited melodiously throughout the Muslim world: The Merciful, the Compassionate, the Forbearing, the Forgiving, the Living, the Holy, the Near, the Tender, the Wise.... Written in beautiful script on lamps, walls, and pendants, each of these linguistic signs provokes a profoundly personal, intellectual and spiritual response with each new reading.

Deeply wary of idolatry, early Muslims with few exceptions declined to glorify not only God, but even human beings through visual representation. Historians, accustomed to illustrating accounts of great leaders with their images captured in painting, sculpture and coin have no reliable visual representations of the Prophet Muhammad. What we find, instead, is the Prophet's name, Muhammad, written in curving Arabic letters on those architectural and illustrative spaces where the sacred is invoked. Along with the names of God and verses of the Qur'an, the name Muhammad, read audibly or silently, leads the believer into a reflective state about the divine message and the legacy of this extraordinary, yet profoundly human messenger of God. Words, written and oral are the primary medium by which the life of the Prophet and his example has been transmitted across the generations. His biography, the seerah, has been told in verse and prose in many languages. Even more important than this chronological account of the Prophet's life are the thousands of individual reports of his utterances and actions, collected in the hadith literature. These reports were transmitted by early Muslims wishing to pass on Muhammad's tradition and mindful of the Qur'an's words: "Indeed in the Messenger of God you have a good example to follow for one who desires God and the Last Day" (Qur'an, 33:21). Eager to follow his divinely inspired actions, his close companions paid attention not only to his style of worship, but also to all aspects of his comportment-everything from his personal hygiene to his interaction with children and neighbors. The Prophet's way of doing things, his sunnah, has formed the basis for Muslim piety in all societies where Islam spread. The result was that as Muslims young and old, male and female, rich and poor, adopted the Prophet's sunnah as a model for their lives, they became the best visual representations of the Prophet's character and life. In other words, the Muslim who implements the sunnah is an actor on the human stage who internalizes and, without artifice, reenacts the behavior of the Prophet. This performance of

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the sunnah by living Muslims is the archive of the Prophet's life and a truly sacred art of Muslim culture.

I first realized the profound physical impact of the Prophet's sunnah on generations of Muslims as I sat in the mosque one day, watching my nine year old son pray beside his Qur'an teacher. Ubayda sat straight, still and erect beside the young teacher from Saudi Arabia who, with his gentle manners and beautiful recitation, had earned my son's deep respect and affection. Like the teacher, Ubayda was wearing a loose-fitting white robe that modestly covered his body. Before coming to the mosque, he had taken a shower and rubbed fragrant musk across his head and chin. With each movement of prayer, he glanced over at his teacher, to ensure that his hands and feet were positioned in precisely the same manner. Reflecting on this transformation of my son, who had abandoned as his normal grubbiness and impulsivity for cleanliness and composure, I thought to myself, "thank God he found a good role model to imitate."

In my son's imitation of his teacher, however, it occurred to me that there was a greater significance, for his teacher was also imitating someone. Indeed, this young man was keen in every aspect of his life to follow the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad. His modest dress was in imitation of the Prophet's physical modesty. His scrupulous cleanliness and love of fragrant oils was modeled after the Prophet's example. At each stage of the ritual prayer he adopted the positions he was convinced originated with the Prophet. He could trace the way he recited the Qur'an back through generations of teachers to the Prophet himself. My son, by imitating his teacher, had now become part of the living legacy of the Prophet Muhammad.

Among Muslims throughout the world, there are many sincere pious men and women; there are also criminals and hypocrites. Some people are deeply affected by religious norms, others are influenced more by culture-whether traditional or popular culture. Some aspects of the Prophet's behavior: his slowness to anger, his abhorrence of oath taking, his gentleness with women, sadly seem to have little affected the dominant culture in some Muslim societies. Other aspects of his behavior, his generosity, his hospitality, his physical modesty, seem to have taken firm root in many Muslim lands. But everywhere that Muslims are found, more often than not they will trace the best aspects of their culture to the example of the Prophet Muhammad. He was, in the words of one of his companions, "the best of all people in behavior."

Living in America, my son's role model might have been an actor, a rap singer or an athlete. We say that children are "impressionable," meaning that it is easy for strong personalities to influence the formation of their identity. We all look for good influences on our children.

It was their excellent behavior that attracted me to the first Muslims I met, poor West African students living on the margins of Paris. They embodied many aspects of the Prophet's sunnah, although I did not know it at the time. What I recognized was that, among their other wonderful qualities, they were the most naturally generous people I had ever known. There was always room for one more person around the platter of rice and

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beans they shared each day. Over the years, in my travels across the Muslim world, I have witnessed the same eagerness to share, the same deep belief that it is not self-denial, but a blessing to give away a little more to others. The Prophet Muhammad said, "The food of two is enough for three, and the food of three is enough for four." During the recent attacks on Kosovo, there were reports of Albanian Muslims filling their houses with refugees; one man cooked daily for twenty people domiciled in his modest home.

The Prophet Muhammad said, "When you see one who has more, look to one who has less."

When I was married in Pakistan, my husband and I, as refugee workers, did not have much money. Returning to the refugee camp a few days after our wedding, the Afghan women eagerly asked to see the many dresses and gold bracelets, rings and necklaces my husband must have presented to me, as is customary throughout the Muslim world. I showed them my simple gold ring and told them we had borrowed a dress for the wedding. The women's faces fell and they looked at me with profound sadness and sympathy. The next week, sitting in a tent in that dusty hot camp, the same women-women who had been driven out of their homes and country, women who had lost their husbands and children, women who had sold their own personal belongings to buy food for their families-presented me with a wedding outfit. Bright blue satin pants stitched with gold embroidery, a red velveteen dress decorated with colorful pom-poms and a matching blue scarf trimmed with what I could only think of as a lampshade fringe. It was the most extraordinary gift I have ever receivednot just the outfit, but the lesson in pure empathy that is one of the sweetest fruits of real faith.

An accurate representation of the Prophet is to be found, first and foremost, on the faces and bodies of his sincere followers: in the smile that he called "an act of charity," in the slim build of one who fasts regularly, in the solitary prostrations of the one who prays when all others are asleep. The Prophet's most profound legacy is found in the best behavior of his followers. Look to his people, and you will find the Prophet (58). * Ingrid Mattson, a Canadian, is the first woman and first convert to lead the Islamic Society of North America. She is also a professor of Islamic Studies at the Hartford Seminary, an essayist and a popular lecturer. Dr. Ingrid Mattson (b. 1963), Ph.D. is a Canadian Muslim convert professor and activist and the current president of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA). She was born and raised in Kitchener, Ontario, and studied philosophy and fine arts at the University of Waterloo, Ontario. Raised as a Catholic, she ultimately abandoned religion "for good" during her teenage years, but converted to Islam at the end of her undergraduate studies. She then travelled to Pakistan where she worked with Afghan refugees for a year. She earned her Ph.D. in Islamic studies from the University of Chicago in 1999. She went on to be very active in educating Canadian Muslims to become active participants in Canadian society at large. She is now Director of Islamic Chaplaincy and Professor at the Macdonald Center for Islamic Studies and Christian-Muslim Relations at Hartford Seminary in Hartford, Connecticut, the first Islamic chaplaincy program in the United States. In 2001 she was elected Vice-President of ISNA and in 2006 she was elected President of the organization. She has guest lectured at such institutions as the US Naval Academy. Dr. Mattson is the first female to lead the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA). She speaks here about her conversion, her faith, 54

women’s roles in Islam, the place of tradition in Islamic practice and much more. You get the sense throughout that she draws upon a deep well of spirituality to keep herself going.

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Chapter Seven Muslim convert takes on leadership role

By Jane Lampman Ingrid Mattson had her own brush with the Taliban before they came to power. Back in 1989, just out of a Canadian university, she worked in a crowded Afghan refugee camp near Peshawar, Pakistan, teaching young girls and trying to improve conditions for their families.

"With some 100,000 refugees, it was a microcosm of most of Afghanistan," she says, "and we were able to work in the whole camp except for one small area, where the Taliban from Kandahar refused to let us teach the girls."

"Most Afghanis were perfectly happy to have their daughters educated," she adds. Her experience with the Taliban and their subsequent actions led Dr. Mattson - a convert to Islam and now a professor of Islamic studies at Hartford Seminary in Connecticut - to speak out against them in Muslim circles ever since.

A small, slender woman with an arrestingly calm demeanor, Mattson has no reluctance about speaking out on issues of import. Her articulate voice was one of the first after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks to call publicly on Muslims to condemn not only the attacks, but any resort to violence in the name of Islam.

"Who has the greatest duty to stop violence committed by Muslims against innocent nonMuslims in the name of Islam?" she asked. "The answer obviously is Muslims."

And her voice is one that is heard. Earlier this fall, she was elected by members of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA), perhaps the largest and most diverse Muslim organization on the continent, to a two-year term as vice president. She is the first woman to hold that position.

It may seem surprising that a young Canadian-born convert should be the first. "Ingrid is seen by our community as a woman par excellence as representative of both Western and Muslim traditions," explains Sayyid Syeed, executive director of ISNA. "She is Westernborn and raised, but has been well educated in Islamic scholarship."

And her election has significance beyond these borders, Dr. Syeed adds. "America is giving women the role that the Koran and the Prophet had given them originally, but has been denied them for cultural reasons in many regions," he says. Women, for example, are members of executive committees of Islamic centers across the country. "To have a woman vice president is a message from the Islamic community in North America to those in other countries."

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The new VP is eager to work on ISNA priorities, such as helping to strengthen the Islamic schools across the US, and to broaden training for the local leadership of mosques and Islamic centers.

"ISNA provides training for leaders in such skills as marriage-counseling, conflictresolution, and domestic-violence issues," Mattson explains. She has also spearheaded creation of an Islamic chaplaincy program to prepare men and women to work as chaplains in the military, in hospitals, in prisons, or on college campuses. The program will include a master's degree and a graduate certificate in Islamic chaplaincy through studies at interdenominational Hartford Seminary.

During an interview in her seminary office at the Macdonald Center for the Study of Islam and Christian-Muslim Relations, Mattson credits Islam with bringing her back to belief in God. She grew up in a Christian family in Kitchener, Ontario. Her father was a criminal lawyer and her mother stayed home to raise seven children. But she stopped attending church at age 16, she says, when she realized that she just didn't believe what she was being taught.

She left religion entirely and studied philosophy at the university, embracing existentialism.

In a way, she adds, that philosophy (which emphasizes the freedom of the individual to make choices in a meaningless world) was good preparation for being a Muslim. "What you choose defines what you are, and while people may be limited in the choices they have in life, there is always the opportunity to choose good," she says.

"So the emphasis in Islam on human responsibility [for choosing right over wrong] made a lot of sense to me - it didn't absolve people from responsibility for their actions or give them an easy way out," she continues. "But when they embrace that responsibility, it gives them a sense of peace."

Most important, though, she says, "it was through reading the Koran that I became aware of the presence of God and was convinced of it - that is what touched my heart."

Given the importance to her of individual choice, Mattson is well aware of the major questions Westerners have about religious freedom in Muslim countries - and whether Muslims have the right to convert to other faiths. A few converts have had their children taken away or have been persecuted as a result. A specialist in Islamic law, Mattson says this is an area that is now being widely examined and contested.

"Many scholars have convincingly argued that apostasy is not a crime, while treason is, based on cases from the early days of Islam, where people who left the community for other religions were not punished, while those who left the political community and betrayed it were."

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What happened historically in some Muslim societies, she says, was that no distinction was made between community affiliation and religious affiliation. But today's world makes other demands, and she supports the case being made for separation of the two.

Mattson's own research relates to application of Islamic law in society. Most recently, she's written on how poverty is defined when distributing the charitable funds Muslims donate in zakat - the annual almsgiving that is one of the five pillars of Islam.

At the center of her full life of teaching, research, and community activity, however, is her family - her husband and two children.

She and Amer Aetak met in the refugee camp in Pakistan, where he, an Egyptian engineer, was digging wells and constructing housing. One of her most touching memories is the response of refugee families when they learned the two had quietly married.

"When they heard I hadn't had a dress, they were so sad; they pooled what little money they had and presented me with this outfit of satin pants and a red velveteen dress with pompoms - it was incredible!" she says.

They now have a daughter, Soumayya, and a son, Ubayda, whom her husband helped care for while she completed her doctorate at the University of Chicago. The children attend public schools in West Hartford, where Mr. Aetak is a systems application engineer.

Since Sept. 11, life has become even fuller with the need to respond to constant calls from community groups and the press about Islam and where US Muslims stand. Besides giving talks and interviews, Mattson joined with her seminary colleagues in offering a Web course on Islam via Beliefnet.com.

When the terrorist attacks occurred, she found herself thinking, "It's all over - all the work you have done has gone down the drain." Just the week before, she had left ISNA's annual convention, attended by 40,000 people, "full of optimism, confident that American Muslims had begun to find a way to contribute positively to the public life of this country, while preserving our distinct identity."

Now, clearly weary with the strain of the past few weeks, she is committed to keeping the communication going.

"Ingrid always wants people to communicate, to keep the dialogue open," whether it's between family members or across faith communities, says Annie Higgins, a close friend from graduate-school days in Chicago.

Ms. Higgins remembers a small incident that occurred when she stopped to say goodbye to the family before going away for two years. Little Soumayya, unhappy about the day's events, wouldn't speak to her. But later that evening, the child phoned to say, "Annie, I love you."

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She wasn't under pressure to do so, Higgins says. It's simply that her mother quietly talks things through. "Ingrid just doesn't like to see any door closed and has a way of always bringing about positive communications."

Mattson sees this difficult time as the opportunity to do that. Many Muslim Americans have shied from interactions with those of other faiths, she says. Now, some recognize they have an obligation and really want to get involved. "In some ways, this crisis has given many people the push they needed." (59).

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Chapter Eight Finding God

By Aishah Miller In my time as a Muslim, I have found many ways to worship God, to praise God and to practice. Through reading the Quran, studying the prophets and the saints—-in Islam and other faiths—-reading the Gospels, the Hindu Bhagavad Gita, and other sacred texts, and watching some of you here—I have discovered ways to witness what is before us as an everyday opportunity to praise God and commission the Mercy of God. I really enjoy, watching and listening and learning and listening and learning some more. Sometimes its difficult for me to talk about God because He is so close to my heart and I fear making a mistake or losing track of my thoughts—its like speaking about the innermost part of myself which holds a well of life, inspiration and truths about me I am still exploring in my faith and rarely share with myself, let alone anyone else... but I value the importance of speaking about God for the Believer's progress and understanding—-as well as for the community. So I offer this talk, as my contribution to the Ummah and as a supplication to the One God. I am a writer by blessings from God and I write to see the world and also to understand myself and others and contribute to my community and my families. And in this watching and learning and writing, I have found that the age old tenet of the Abrahamic tradition that God is everywhere is a reality difficult hold within the delicate folds of our hearts. As Believers we often wrestle with this reality that God is everywhere and not just in the mosque or the church or our dhikr or our prayer or that he is not only in our practice of "good work" or our works of charity. Most certainly, God is in those places but it is sometimes hard for us to accept God in others.

It's hard for us to conceptualize God in other places. We, as humans, have expectations of divinity or divine intervention and it is often couched in a romantic, clandestine world of beauty, ecumenical piety and serenity, and in moments of utter clarity, cleanliness and even in the halls of intelligence. We expect God during dhikr (remembrance), we expect God when we are reading the Quran or the Bible or the Talmud or Torah, we expect God when we are sharing with other believers, some of us expect God even when we interact with young children—because of their innocence and utter sincerity in their words and actions—but if this was the case God would not exist in the bowels of extreme poverty, in the thoughts of the lesser educated, within the cells of a prison or in other unimagined places or deplorable conditions that you may never find yourself in, inshallah. We do not expect God in the boardroom of a corporation or expect God in the blaring music and dancing of a nightclub or in our interactions with self-professed non-Believers or atheists.

We do not expect God in a television sitcom or in the produce section of our local grocery market. But it is asked of us to expect God everywhere—-because God is everywhere. I once wrote this poem in the misapprehensions and anxiety of my teenage years—-I found Jesus in my Eggs Benedict this Morning—stuck half way between my English muffin and

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the hollandaise sauce. Then it was funny and quirky to me, today it rings more truth than I can usually muster in the morning over breakfast.

As Believers, we should expect God everywhere, when we read in Sura Baqara, the Cow, the second Sura in Quran verse 255: "There is no god but He,-the Living, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) before or after or behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them for He is the Most High, the Supreme (in glory)."

I am not suggesting that we seek God in a nightclub or a situational comedy or in your Eggs Benedict. What I am suggesting is that as believers we must always revisit and revise our expectations of God and what are our underlying thoughts that form the bedrock of those expectations. In other words what is the underlying need that we have or insecurity or misgivings that makes us, each one of us, delineate our expectations of where, and how God is. In becoming better Muslims and in growing in the faith, I believe that this is some of our critical work—I believe that in exploring our own expectations of God that we will begin to unearth our biases, our fears and insecurities, our personal challenges, some of the characteristics of our personal Shaytan, and we may also unearth some of our own grandiose expectations of ourselves—that cause us not to trust ourselves or forgive ourselves when we make mistakes (or forgiving others when they do not live up to our expectations).

We must ask ourselves what do we expect when we enter a Tariqa, what do we expect when we start dhikr, what do we expect from our Imam, from each other—-are these expectations realistic or the most important, why do you personally have those expectations? Which may lead you to bigger questions such as what brought you here, why are you here or, the most salient of question for me, what do you want from this prayer, this practice, this dhikr, and this community. This is some of the self-explorations that I have been doing over the last few months and I believe I will continue throughout my life in learning about my self and on this path, insh'allah.

This is what I wanted to share. My experience in finding God in the places that I did not expect a year ago turned, recently, into expecting God in places that I never would of expected before. I do not feel that I have the spiritual fortitude or knowledge to say where God is,—as in he is there in that plant or there in the azure lines of that lily flower or in my mothers cry or embrace—however tempted I may be to make such acclamations—Rumi once wrote, If you seek God, look into the eyes of an ant—-speaking, not only, of how accessible God is but at the same time expressing the dual reality that we could never see into the eyes of an ant—-because the eyes of an ant are essentiallymultiple- mirrored reflections back of your own eyes. (how beautiful)A reflection on God is a reflection back on the self—but the first step, an outward looking towards God is implicit and necessary.

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But as for me, I don't know where God is...I heart where God is. In other words, I trust my heart to tell me—-what I don't believe my polished mind knows too much about.

May Allah answer our prayers and be with all of us during this Ramadan. May you be successful in your fast. Thank you for listening to me and for all the words that I've expressed that wrung clear and true to you—-are all from the blessings of Allah and all of the inaccuracies or mistakes were from my own soul, which is a work in process. God is Most High, God is Great (60).

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Chapter Nine Twelve Hours Old

By Katherine Bullock* What am I doing down here? I wonder, my nose and forehead pressed to the floor as I kneel in prayer. My kneecaps ache, my arm muscles strain as I try to keep the pressure off my forehead. I listen to strange utterings of the person praying next to me. It's Arabic, and they understand what they are saying, even if I don't. So. I make up my own words, hoping God will be kind to me, a Muslim only 12 hours old. OK. God, I converted to Islam because I believe in you, and because Islam makes sense to me. Did I really just say that? I catch myself, bursting into tears. What would my friends say if they saw me like this, kneeling, nose pressed to the floor? They'd laugh at me. Have you lost your mind? they'd ask. You can't seriously tell me you are religious. Religious...I was once a happy 'speculative atheist,' how did I turn into a believer and a Muslim? I ask myself. I turn my mind into the past and attempt a whirlwind tour through my journey. But where did it begin? Maybe it started when I first met practicing Muslims. This was in 1991, at Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada.

I was an open-minded, tolerant, liberal woman. 24 years old. I saw Muslim women walking around the international Centre and I felt sorry for them. I knew they were oppressed. My sorrow increased when I asked them why they covered their hair, why they wore long sleeves in summer, why they were so ill-treated in Muslim countries, and they told me that they wore the veil, and they dressed so, because God asked them too. Poor things. What about their treatment in Muslim countries? That's culture, they would reply. I knew they were deluded, socialised/brainwashed from an early age, into believing this wicked way of treating women. But I noticed how happy they were, how friendly they were, how solid they seemed. I saw Muslim men walking around the international centre.

There was even a man from Libya - the land of terrorists. I trembled when I saw them, lest they do something to me in the name of God. I remembered the television images of masses of rampaging Arab men burning effiges of President Bush, all in the name of God. What a God they must have, I thought. Poor things that they even believe in God, I added, secure in the truth that God was an anthropomorphic projection of us weak human beings.

But I noticed that these men were very friendly. I noticed how helpful they were. I perceived an aura of calmness. What a belief they must have, I thought. But it puzzled me.

I had read the Koran, and hadn't detected anything special about it. That was before, when the Gulf War broke out. What kind of God would persuade men to go War, to kill innocent citizens of another country, to rape women, to demonstrate against the US? I decided I'd better read the Holy book on whose behalf they claimed they were acting. I read a Penguin classic, surely a trustworthy book, and I couldn't finish it, I disliked it so much. Here was a paradise described with virgin women in it for the righteous (what was a righteous woman to do with a virgin woman in Paradise?); here was a God destroying whole cities at a stroke.

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No wonder the women are oppressed, and these fanatics storm around burning the US flag, I thought. But the Muslims I put this to seemed bewildered. Their Qu'ran didn't say things in that way. Perhaps I had a bad translation?

Suddenly the praying person I am following stands up. I too stand up, my feet catching on the long skirt I wear; I almost trip. I sniff, trying to stop the tears. I must focus on praying to God. Dear God, I am here because I believe in you, and because during my research of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism, and Buddhism, Islam made the most sense.

Bending over, my hands at my knees, I try hard to reassure myself. God. Please help me to be a good Muslim. A Muslim! Kathy, how could you - a white western women who is educated - convert to a religion which makes its women second class citizens!

But Kingston's Muslims became my friends, I protest. They welcomed me into their community warmly, without question. I forgot that they were oppressed and terrorists. This seems like the start of my journey. But I was still an atheist. Or was I? I had looked into the starry night, and contemplated the universe. The diamond stars strewn across the dark sky twinkled mysterious messages to me. I felt hooked up to something bigger than myself. Was it a collective human consciousness? Peace and tranquility flowed to me from the stars. Could I wrench myself from this feeling and declare there is no higher being? No higher consciousness? Haven't you ever doubted the existence of God? I would ask my believing Christian and Muslim friends. No, they replied. No? No? This puzzled me.

Was God that obvious? How come I couldn't see God. It seemed too much a stretch of my imagination. A being out there, affecting the way I lived. How could God listen to billions of people praying, and deal with each second of that person's life? It's impossible. Maybe a First Cause, but one who intervened? And what about the persistence of injustice in the world? Children dying in war. A just, good God couldn't allow that. God didn't make sense.

God couldn't exist. Besides, we evolved, so that disposed of a First Cause anyway.

We kneel down again, and here I am, sniffing, looking sideways at my fingers on the green of my new prayer mat. I like my prayer mat. It has a velvetty touch to it, and some of my favourite colours: a purple mosque on a green background. There is a path leading to a black entrance of the mosque and it beckons me. The entrance to the mosque seems to contain the truth, it is elusive, but it is there. I am happy to be beckoned to this entrance.

When I was much younger I had a complete jigsaw picture of the world. It fell apart sometime during the third or fourth year of my undergraduate study. In Kingston I had reminded myself that I had once been a regular churchgoer, somewhat embarrassed, since I knew that religious people were slushy/mushy, quaint, boring, old fashioned people. Yet God had seemed self-evident to me then. The universe made no sense without a Creator Being who was also omnipotent.

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Leaving church I had always had a feeling of lightness and happiness. I felt the loss of that feeling. Could it be that I had once had a connection to God which was now gone? Maybe this was the start of my journey? I tried to pray again, but found it extraordinarily difficult.

Christians told me that people who didn't believe in Lord Jesus Christ were doomed. What about people who've never heard of Jesus? Or people who follow their own religion? And society historically claimed women were inferior because Christianity told us it was Eve's punishment; women were barred from studying, voting, owning land. God was an awful man with a long white beard. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't follow Christianity, therefore God couldn't exist.

But then I discovered feminists who believed in God, Christian women who were feminists, and Muslim women who believed Islam did not condone a lot of what I thought integral to their religion. I started to pray and call myself a 'post-christian feminist believer.'

I felt that lightness again; maybe God did exist. I carefully examined my life's events and I saw that coincidences and luck were God's blessings for me, and I'd never noticed, or said thanks. I am amazed God was so kind and persistent while I was disloyal. My ears and feet tingle pleasantly from the washing I have just given them; a washing which cleanses me and allows me to approach God in prayer.

God. An awesome deity. I feel awe, wonder and peace. Please show me the path. But surely you can see that the world is too complex, too beautiful, too harmonious to be an accident? To be the blind result of evolutionary forces? Don't you know that science is returning to a belief in God? Don't you know that science never contradicted Islam anyway? I am exasperated with my imaginary jury. Haven't they researched these things?

Maybe this was the most decisive path. I'd heard on the radio an interview with a physicist who was explaining how modern science had abandoned its nineteenth century matierialistic assumptions long ago, and was scientifically of the opinion that too many phenomena occured which made no sense without there being intelligence and design behind it all. Indeed, scientific experiments were not just a passive observation of physical phenomena, observation altered the way physical events proceeded, and it seemed therefore that intelligence was the most fundamental stuff of the universe.

I read more, and more. I discovered that only the most diehard anthropologists still believed in evolution theory, though no one was saying this very loudly for fear of losing their job. My jigsaw was starting to fall apart.

OK, so you decided God existed. You were a monotheist. But Christianity is monotheistic.

It is your heritage. Why leave it? Still these questioners are puzzled. But you must understand this is the easiest question of them all to answer. I smile.

I learned how the Qu'ran did not contradict science in the same way the Bible did. I wanted to read the Biblical stories literally, and discovered I could not. Scientific fact contradicted

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Biblical account. But scientific fact did not contradict Qu'ranic account, science even sometimes explained a hitherto inexplicable Qu'ranic verse. This was stunning.

There was a verse about how the water from fresh water rivers which flowed into the sea did not mix with the sea water; verses describing conception accurately; verses referring to the orbits of the planets. Seventh century science knew none of this. How could Muhammed be so uniquely wise? My mind drew me towards the Qu'ran, but I resisted.

I started going to church again, only to find myself in tears in nearly every service.

Christianity continued to be difficult for me. So much didn't make sense: the Trinity; the idea that Jesus was God incarnate; the worship of Mary, the Saints, or Jesus, rather than God. The priests told me to leave reason behind when contemplating God. The Trinity did not make sense, and nor was it supposed to. I delved deeper. After all, how could I leave my culture, my heritage, my family? No one would understand, and I'd be alone. I tried to be a good Christian.

I learned more. I discovered that Easter was instituted a couple of hundreds of years after Jesus's death, that Jesus never called himself God incarnate, and more often said he was the Son of Man; that the doctrine of the Trinity was established some 300 odd years after Christ had died; that the Nicene Creed which I had faithfully recited every week, focusing on each word, was written by MEN at a political meeting to confirm a minority position that Jesus was the Son of God, and the majority viewpoint that Jesus was God's messenger, was expunged forever.

I was so angry! Why hadn't the Church taught me these things. Well. I knew why. People would understand that they could worship God elsewhere, and that there, worship would actually make sense to them. I would only worship one God, not three, not The Father, Son and Holy ghost; not Jesus as Lord, nor the Saints, nor Mary. Could Muhammed really be a Messenger, could the Qu'ran be God's word? I kept reading the Qu'ran.

It told me that Eve was not alone to blame for the 'fall;' that Jesus was a Messenger; that unbelievers would laugh at me for being a believer; that people would question the authenticity of Muhammed's claim to revelation, but that if they tried to write something as wise, consistent and rational they would fail. This seemed true. Islam asked me to use my intelligence to contemplate God, it encouraged me to seek knowledge, it told me that whoever believed in (Jews/Christians/Muslims/whoever) would get rewards, it seemed a very encompassing religion. We stand again and still standing, bend down again to a resting position with our hands on our knees. What else can I say to God? I can't think of enough to say, the prayer seems so long.

I puff slightly, still sniffling, since with all the standing and kneeling and standing I am somewhat out of breath. So you seriously think that I would willing enter a religion which turned me into a second class citizen? I demand of my questioners. You know that there is a lot of abuse of women in Islamic countries, just as in the West, but this is not true Islam.

And don't bring the veil thing up. Don't you know that women wear hijab because God asks them to? Because they trust in God's word.

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Still. How will I have the courage to wear hijab? I probably won't. People will stare at me, I'll become obvious; I'd rather hide away in the crowd when I'm out. What will my friends say when they see me in that?? OH! God! Help.

I had stalled at the edge of change for many a long month, my dilemma growing daily.

What should I do? Leave my old life and start a new one? But I couldn't possibly go out in public in hijab. People would stare at me. I stood at the forked path which God had helped me reach. I had new knowledge which rested comfortably with my intellect. Follow the conviction, or stay in the old way? How could I stay when I had a different outlook on life?

How could I change when the step seemed too big for me?

I would rehearse the conversion sentence: There is no God but God and Muhammed is his prophet. Simple words, I believe in them, so convert. I cannot, I resisted. I circled endlessly day after day. God stood on one of the paths of the fork, tapping his foot. Come on Kathy.

I've brought you here, but you must cross alone. I stayed stationary, transfixed like a kangaroo trapped in car lights late at night. Then one night, God, I suppose, gave me a final yank. I was passing a mosque with my husband. I had a feeling in me that was so strong I could hardly bear it. If you don't convert now, you never will, my inner voice told me. I knew it was true. OK, I'll do it. If they let me in to the mosque, I'll do it. But there was no one there. I said the shahaada under the trees outside the mosque. I waited. I waited for the thunderclap, the immediate feeling of relief, the lifting of my burden. But it didn't come.

I felt exactly the same. Now we are kneeling again, the world looks so different from down here. Even famous football players prostrate like this, I remember, glancing sideways at the tassles of my hijab which fall onto the prayer mat; we are all the same and equally humbled before God. Now we are sitting up straight, my prayer leader is muttering something still, waving his right hand's forefinger around in the air. I look down at my mat again. The green, purple and black of my prayer mat look reassuringly the same.

The blackness of the Mosque's entrance entreats me: 'I am here, just relax and you will find me.' My tears have dried on my face and the skin feels tight What am I doing here? Dear God. I am here because I believe in you, because I believe in the compelling and majestic words of the Qur'an, and because I believe in the Prophethood of Your Messenger Muhammed. I know in my heart my decision is the right one. Please give me the courage to carry on with this new self and new life, that I may serve you well with a strong faith. I smile and stand up, folding my prayer mat into half, and lay it on the sofa ready for my next encounter with its velvety green certainty. Now the burden begins to lift (61).

The Hijab Experience of Canadian Muslim Women The furor over the expulsion in 1995 of Quebec high school students who refused to remove their head scarves, with some people declaring the Hijab might not be considered proper “Canadian� dress, demonstrates that the West has not yet transcended the negative stereotype of the oppressed, veiled Muslim woman which has generated during the period of Western colonization of the Middle East. Indeed Muslim women in the West are still

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discriminated against based upon these myths. The aim of this paper is to bring the perspective of some Muslim women who cover willingly into the debate over Hijab.

They Say, 'You Don't Have To Wear That In Canada' Muslim women in Hijab are regularly told by Canadians “This is Canada. You're free here.

You don't have to wear that thing on you head.” Nur, a university student, discovered one day that this view of Hijab can lead people to be quite hostile. At university one day, a woman angrily approached her, asking why Nur was dressed like that, bringing herself so much attention, and bringing “backwardness” to Canada, when feminists had worked so hard for the cause of women for the last twenty years.

The Hijab Is A Commandment From God When asked to explain why they covered, the women I interviewed said they believed that in the Quran God commanded women to cover their hair, and that Prophetic statements backed that up. For them, Hijab symbolizes, not oppression or terrorism, as it does in mainstream Western discourse, but “purity,” “modesty,” a “woman's Islamic identity,” and “obedience, or submission to God and a testament that you're Muslim.” Halima, a convert to Islam, adds that Hijab symbolizes “the woman's power to take back her own dignity and her own sexuality.”

Hijab : Not a Result Of An 'Anti-Woman' Interpretation The women I interviewed are aware of feminist arguments that they are being duped by an anti-woman interpretation of the Quran. However, they reject this suggestion, and in so doing demonstrate they do not follow Quranic verses blindly. They have considered various interpretations of the Quran, and chosen that which made most sense to them. They are not, as conventional wisdom in the West suggests, duped women following the dictates of men. They all believed that the Quranic verse asking women to cover their hair is straightforward. Nadia captures the women's position well: “I have to say that when I read the Ayah (verse) that says take your headdress and put it over your bosom (Quran 4:30-31), it's pretty clear to me that there is an assumption that you're wearing a head dress, and that's part of the Islamic dress. I mean why didn't He [God] just say ‘wear a high neck collar?’ {laughs} You know, if it was your bosom that was the important thing then why wasn't there more stress on, um, you know put a button in the top of your shirt, or something, I dunno. Or make sure your bosom is covered, or um, that kind of thing.” Raneem, a convert to Islam, added even if Hijab was just a cultural thing, “it's a good thing to do.”

Why Do Muslim Women Wear Hijab and Not Men? Westerners are often puzzled to see Muslim women covering their bodies more than Muslim men do, and see that as a proof of the woman's inferior status. Islam lays out a dress code for both male and female believers, but the requirements for covering are different: a man is to cover from navel to knee, and wear opaque, loose clothing (tight jeans are out of the question); women cover more, everything but face and hands. All of the women I interviewed believe that these differences are due to inherent differences between men and women. They say that men are more easily turned on sexually than are women.

The point to covering is not that sexual attraction is bad, only that it should be expressed between a husband and wife inside the privacy of the home. A public space free of sexual

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tensions is seen as a more harmonious and peaceful place for human beings, men and women, to interact, do business, and build a healthy civilization.

Even Many Non-Muslim Men Seem To Respect Hijab These women see Hijab as a benefit to society, as a protection for women, and as a source of inner peace. Several women, especially converts who started covering in their twenties, felt men, even non-Muslim men, approached them more respectfully, did not try to flirt with them or make “leering” comments, and treated them as ‘persons’ not ‘sex-objects.’

Halima also pointed out that male-female interactions were based on more than just the clothes: Hijab is a mode of decorous behavior as well, “when you're covered, you're not going to be a flirtatious person.”

Women Should Care How Their Dress Affects Men My interviewees reject the feminist argument that women should not care how their dress affects men. They reply that Muslim women and men are brothers and sisters in faith, and find nothing wrong in helping men practice their faith better. As Zainab, a convert to Islam, said: “women have been exploited so much, and men make such silly fools of themselves over women, that I really think it's a good thing for the men, that women wear Hijab. Why encourage jealousy or envy or anything like that? Why encourage the negative emotions?”

Male-Female Differences Not a Sign of Inequality Many feminists argue that to believe in male-female differences is to accede to women's oppression, because it is these differences which have been used to stop women from realizing their potentials. The Muslim women in the survey do not agree that believing in male-female differences is to believe women and men are unequal. They all believed that men and women are different, and that women and men are equal in Islam. For these women, the principal definition of equality is how human beings are in relation to God. The Quran unequivocally states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Men and women were created from a single soul, and are both the trustees of God on earth (Quran 2:30), individually responsible and accountable for their actions. However, these women do not believe that male-female differences include traditional western notions of men being more rational or intelligent than women. In addition, the women were not of the opinion that a woman's childbearing nature meant she could not be in the work force, and nor did they believe that a man's duty to support his family financially meant that he should not do household chores. The women referred back to the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), who used to mend his clothes, sweep his house, and perform other chores. The view that men and women have inherent differences is a source of the conflicting understanding of women's position in Islam between the West and my interviewees.

Equality Between Men And Women is Not Sameness They argue that equality does not have to mean sameness, and criticize western presumptions that if men and women are not doing something in an identical manner they must be unequal. Nor do the women believe that Hijab hinders their freedom, rather Hijab is seen as a device to facilitate Muslim women's movements outside the home. Nadia

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expresses the sentiment well: ”I kinda see [Hijab] the opposite way [from being a sign of constraint]. I kinda think that if you've covered yourself Islamically, then there wouldn't be a reason for you to stay home, I mean that was the whole point, that you've removed the attention to yourself, so now you're out there to do your business, based on who you are, I mean what you have to say and what you're going to contribute and not what you look like, and that kind of thing.”

The women argue that the idea that Hijab means women should not go outside is contradicted by the Sunnah of the Prophet: during his lifetime women were very actively involved in the community, in business, in fighting wars, in scholarship and so on.

Hijab Gives Women Self-Esteem An aspect of Hijab that came through strongly in the interviews was how wearing Hijab gives these women sources of inner strength and a high level of confidence and selfesteem.

For example, men and women learn from an early age that women (all of them) are beautiful, and this is the reason they cover. That message is good for women's self-esteem, as well as for the way men think about women. The message compares favorably to that of the West where we see anorexia and bulimia on the increase as young women attempt to reach an unattainable ideal of female beauty.

Hijab Gives Women Inner Peace Many women stressed how comfortable they felt wearing Hijab, how it made them feel good about themselves, and brought them a feeling of inner “peace”.

Ellen, a convert to Islam, stresses that in Hijab she feels “like I am doing something to please God, you know....it makes you feel good about yourself. You feel different in a good way, because you're not exposing yourself and you know, you're not exposed to many things like you would be if you're not covering.”

Discrimination Against Women Who Wear Hijab Muslim women in the West who cover suffer daily indignities from the people around them because of the way they dress. The Western image that they are oppressed, or represent a terrorist religion makes it difficult for them to be accepted easily by the Canadian community. Because Islam is not well understood in the West, some converts also have problems with their families, friends and colleagues about becoming Muslim and about wearing Hijab. Other women face opposition from their own (Muslim) families as well, in their decision to cover. This is because in many Muslim countries, the West has been seen as the model to imitate in order to ‘progress,’ and they tried to shed Islam and all that was associated with it. Hijab is associated with something ‘backward,’ ‘low-class’ people do, or as something only old women do. Many see Hijab as ugly and as reducing the chances for a young woman to get married. Muslims who grow up in Canada often object to Hijab, taking on the Western perception of the meaning of Hijab. Several of the women (born Muslim) in this study had battled families in order to cover.

Some Positive Reactions To Hijab And yet, many of the women I interviewed stressed that overall they do not get too many

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hostile reactions and some of them also experience positive reactions from non-Muslims.

They think that Toronto (Canada) is so multicultural that people are used to seeing all different kinds of dress.

Bringing Up The Hijab Question When It's Not Relevant Sometimes Muslim women have problems with people in situations where their identity is really irrelevant to the situation at hand. Zainab has been a patient in a hospital and had her doctor tell her she should not have embraced Islam because she became a “second class citizen.” He asked her “don't you know how badly the women are treated in Islam?”

Rania, who is a doctor, finds sometimes patients will interrupt their visit to her to ask her “Where is she from?” Or why is she “dressed like that?” Rania said that she finds that “there's the time to explain and then there's the time to just give a brief answer and go on to other things...I mean you may look like a Muslim, but you have a job to do, and let's talk about why you're here, and I'm the doctor and you're the patient okay?”

The Pressure To 'Look Canadian' Given these kinds of negative reactions to Hijab, it is not surprising that many Muslims try to hide their Islamic identity. The pressure for Muslims to assimilate to the ways of the West is great.

Safiyah is under such pressure from her husband to “look Canadian”. He did not seem to mind that she wore Hijab in Algeria, but in their first six months in Canada, so many people stared at them, that he felt uncomfortable with her in Hijab. Although the staring didn't bother Safiyah, her husband has successfully pressured her to stop covering. The women I interviewed referred to Canada as a multicultural and multi faith society in a positive way, and appreciate the liberty and protection Canadian law gave them to practice their religion as any other group can. They thought as does Halima: “if Canada boasts you can practice your religious freedom of thought and beliefs, if a woman believes she should wear her Hijab why shouldn't she? She's not hurting anybody, I mean if people can go down Yonge street [a popular Toronto haunt] almost naked, why should her putting a scarf on her head bother people, why should that upset somebody?”

Hijab Is A Respectable Thing Muslim women want non-Muslims to think that Hijab is a respectable thing, not degrading or “oppressive.” They like to be seen just as an ordinary person who deserves to be respected. Raneem said, “Just take me as I am you know, like they should accept me for who I am, not for the way I look and that goes for everybody.”

Halima was clear in her views. She said, “I would like them to respect our choice and not exclude women who wear Hijab from certain things [like] in Quebec [...] I mean this is truly oppression, they say the woman is oppressed because she's wearing the Hijab, but the true oppression is preventing somebody from going to school because they have a scarf on their head, the larger issue is we'd like everybody to know about Islam so more people would accept it.” Sadia said her Hijab should tell others, “That I'm a Muslim, so I want them to know that, I'm doing this because I'm obeying God, and it's a free country and I can do what I want. And that I don't’ care if I'm accepted by them or not, I'm going to do it anyway” (62).

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* Katherine Bullock, a revert to Islam since 1994, was a doctoral candidate at the University of Toronto when this article was originally published in the March/April 1998 issue of Islamic Horizons magazine.

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Chapter Ten Born again with reading the Quran

By Craig Robertson My name is Abdullah Al-Kanadi. I was born in Vancouver, Canada. My family, who were Roman Catholics, raised me as a Roman Catholic until I was 12 years old. I have been Muslim for approximately six years, and I would like to share the story of my journey to Islam with you.

My name is Abdullah Al-Kanadi. I was born in Vancouver, Canada. My family, who were Roman Catholics, raised me as a Roman Catholic until I was 12 years old. I have been Muslim for approximately six years, and I would like to share the story of my journey to Islam with you.

I suppose in any story it’s best to start from the beginning. During my childhood I attended a Catholic religious school and was taught about the Catholic faith, along with other subjects. Religion was always my best class; I excelled academically in the teachings of the Church. I was pressed into service as an ‘altar boy’ by my parents from a very young age, which pleased my grandparents a great deal; but the more I learned about my religion, the more I questioned it! I have this memory from my childhood, I asked my mother on Mass: “Is our religion the right one?” My mother’s answer still rings in my ears to this day: “Craig, they are all the same, they’re all good!” Well to me this didn’t seem right. What was the point of me learning my religion if they were all equally good!?

At the age of twelve, my maternal grandmother was diagnosed with colon cancer and died a few months later, after a painful battle with the disease. I never realized how deeply her death affected till later on in life. At the tender age of twelve, I decided I would be an atheist in order to punish God (if you can even fathom such a thing!) I was an angry little boy; I was angry at the world, at myself and worst of all, at God. I stumbled through my early teenage years trying to do everything I could to impress my new “friends” in public high school. I quickly realized that I had a lot to learn, for being sheltered in a religious school you don’t learn what you would in a public school. I pressed all my friends in private to teach me about all the things I did not learn, soon enough I gained the habit of swearing and making fun of people weaker than me. Even though I tried my best to fit in, I never actually did. I would get bullied; girls would make fun of me and so on. For a kid my age, this was devastating. I retreated to myself, into what you would call an ‘emotional shell’.

My teenage years were filled with misery and loneliness. My poor parents tried to talk to me, but I was belligerent towards them and very disrespectful. I graduated from high school in the summer of 1996 and felt that things would have to change for the better, since I believed they couldn’t get any worse! I was accepted in a local technical school and decided that I should further my education and maybe make good money, so that I would be happy. I took a job at a fast-food restaurant by my house to help pay for school.

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A couple of weeks before I was to start school, I was invited to move out with some friends from work. To me, this seemed like the answer to my problems! I would forget my family and be with my friends all the time. One night, I told my parents I was going to move out.

They told me, I couldn’t, and that I wasn’t ready for it and that they wouldn’t allow it! I was 17 years old and very headstrong; I swore at my parents and said to them all sorts of evil things, which I still regret to this day. I felt emboldened by my new freedom, I felt released, and I could follow my desires as I saw fit. I moved in with my friends and didn’t speak to my parents for a long time after that.

I was working and going to school when my roommates introduced me to marijuana. I was in love with it after the first ‘puff’! I would smoke a bit when I got home from work to relax and unwind. Soon though, I started to smoke more and more, until during one weekend I had smoked so much, that it was Monday morning and before I knew it, it was time for school. I thought, well, I’ll take one day of school off, and go the next day, since they won’t possibly miss me. I never returned to school after that. I finally realized how good I had it. All the fast food I could steal and all the drugs I could smoke, who needed school anyways?

I was living a great life, or so I thought; I became the ‘resident’ bad boy at work and consequently the girls started to pay attention to me like they hadn’t in high school. I tried harder drugs, but alhamdulillah, I was saved from the really terrible stuff. The strange thing was, when I wasn’t high or drunk I was miserable. I felt worthless and completely valueless. I was stealing from work and from friends to help maintain the ‘chemical haze’. I became paranoid of the people around me and imagined police officers were chasing me around every corner. I was beginning to crack and I needed a solution, and I figured that religion would help me.

I remember seeing a movie about witchcraft and I thought that would be perfect for me. I bought a couple books on Wicca and Nature Worship, and found that they encouraged the use of natural drugs so I continued. People would ask me if I believed in God, and we would have the strangest conversations while under the ‘influence’, but I distinctly remember saying that no, in fact I don’t believe in God at all, I believe in many gods as imperfect as me.

Through all this, there was one friend who stuck by me. He was a ‘Born Again’ Christian and was always preaching to me, even though I would mock his faith at every opportunity.

He was the only friend I had at the time who didn’t judge me, so when he invited me along to go to a youth weekend camp I decided to go along. I had no expectations. I thought I would have a huge laugh making fun of all the “Bible Thumpers”. During the second evening, they had a huge service in an auditorium. They played all sorts of music which praised God. I watched as the young and old, male and female cried out for forgiveness and shed tears over everything. I was really moved and I said a silent prayer along the lines of “God, I know I have been a horrible person, please help me, and forgive me and let me start fresh.” I felt a surge of emotion come over me, and I felt tears roll down my cheek. I decided at that moment to embrace Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I raised my hands in the air and started dancing around (yes, dancing!) All the Christians around me were staring at me in stunned silence; the guy who mocked them and told them how stupid they were for believing in God, was dancing and praising God! I returned to my party home and eschewed all drugs, intoxicants, and girls. I promptly told 74

my friends how they needed to be Christians so they could be saved. I was shocked that they rejected me, because they always used to pay attention to me before. I ended up moving back with my parents after a long absence and used to badger them with the reasons why they should become Christian. They being Catholic felt they were already Christian, but I felt they were not, for they worshipped Saints. I decided to move out again but this time on better terms and was given a job by my grandfather who wanted to help with my “recovery”.

I started to hang out at a Christian “youth house” which was basically a house where teens could go, to get away from family pressures and discuss Christianity. I was older than most of the boys, so I became one of those who talked most and try to make the boys feel welcomed. In spite of this, I felt like a fraud, for I started drinking and dating again. I would tell the kids about Jesus’ love for them, and during the nights would drink. Through all this, my one Christian friend would try to council me and keep me on the right track.

I still remember to this day my first encounter with a Muslim. One of the boys brought his friend to the youth house. He was a Muslim kid whose name I forgot. What I do remember is the boy saying “I brought my friend ‘so and so’, he’s a Muslim and I want to help him become a Christian”. I was absolutely amazed by this 14 year old kid, he was calm and friendly! Believe it or not, he defended himself AND Islam against a dozen Christians who were hurling abuses at him and Islam! As we sat there fruitlessly thumbing through our Bibles and getting angrier and angrier, he just sat there, quietly smiling and telling us about worshipping others besides God and how, yes, there is love in Islam. He was like a gazelle encircled by a dozen hyenas, yet the entire time, he was calm and friendly and respectful. It blew my mind!

The Muslim kid left a copy of the Quran on the shelf, either he forgot it or left it on purpose, I don’t know, but I starting reading it. I soon became infuriated with this book when I saw that it made more sense than the Bible. I threw it against the couch and walked away, seething with anger; yet, after I read it, I had a niggling doubt at my core. I did my best to forget about the Muslim kid and just enjoy my time with my friends at the youth house. The youth group used to go to various Churches on weekends to prayer events and Saturday nights were spent in a huge Church instead of at the bar. I remember being at one such event called ‘The Well’ and I felt so close to God and wanted to humble myself and show my Creator my love for Him. I did what felt natural, I prostrated. I prostrated like Muslims do in the daily prayers, yet I didn’t know what I was doing, all I knew was, that it felt really good… it felt right, more than anything else I had ever done. I felt very pious and spiritual and continued on my path but as usual, started to feel things slipping away.

The Pastor always taught us that we must submit our will to God’s, and I wanted nothing more than to do that; but I didn’t know how! I always prayed “Please God, make my will Yours, make me follow Your will” and so on, but nothing ever happened. I felt myself slowly slipping away from the Church as my faith ebbed away. It was at this time that my best friend, the Christian man who had helped me come to Christ, along with another close friend of mine, raped my girlfriend who I had been with for two years. I was in the other room too drunk to know what was happening and unable to stop anything. A couple weeks later, it was revealed that the man who ran the youth house had molested one of the boys that I was friends with.

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My world was shattered! I had been betrayed by so many of my friends, people who were supposed to be close to God and working towards Paradise. I had nothing left to give, I was empty again. I walked around as before, blindly and without direction, just working and sleeping and partying. My girlfriend and I broke up soon afterwards. My guilt, rage and sadness encompassed my entire being. How could my Creator allow such a thing to happen to me? How selfish was I?!

A little while after, my manager at work told me that a “Moslem” would be working with us, he was really religious and we should try to be decent around him. The minute this “Moslem” came in he started Da’wah. He wasted no time in telling us all about Islam and everyone told him they didn’t want to hear anything about Islam, other than me! My soul was crying out and even my stubbornness could not squelch the cries. We started working together and discussing our respective beliefs. I had given up on Christianity completely, but when started asking me questions, my faith surged and I felt I was a ‘Crusader’ defending the Faith from this evil “Moslem”.

The fact of the matter was that this particular “Moslem” wasn’t evil like I had been told. In fact, he was better than me. He didn’t swear, he never got angry and was always calm, kind and respectful. I was truly impressed and decided that he would make an excellent Christian. We went back and forth asking things about each others religions, but after a time I felt myself getting more and more defensive. At one point, I became very angry… here I was trying to convince him of the truth of Christianity, and I felt it was he who was on the truth! I started to feel more and more confused and didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that I had to increase my faith, so I jumped in my car and roared off to ‘The Well’. I was convinced that if I could only pray there again, I could get the feeling back and the strong faith and then I could convert the Muslim. I eventually got there, after speeding the entire way, and found it was closed! No one was in sight, I frantically looked around for another similar event so I could ‘charge up’ but found nothing. Dejected, I returned home.

I started to realize that I was being pushed in a certain direction, so I prayed over and over to my Creator to surrender my will to His. I felt that my prayer was being answered; I went home and laid in bed and at that moment I realized that I needed to pray like never before. I sat up in bed and cried, ‘Jesus, God, Buddha, whoever You are, please, please guide me, I need You! I have done so much evil in my life and I need Your help. If Christianity is the correct way then make me strong, and if it is Islam, then bring me to it!’ I stopped praying and the tears went away and deep within my soul I felt calm, I knew what the answer was. I went to work the next day and said to the Muslim brother “how do I say ‘hi’ to you?” He asked me what I meant and I said, “I wanted to become a Muslim”. He looked at me and said “Allahu Akbar!” We hugged for a good minute or so and I thanked him for everything and I began my journey into Islam.

I look back at all the events that happened in my life over time, and I realize that I was being prepared to become a Muslim. I was shown so much mercy from God. Out of all that happened in my life, there was something to learn. I learned the beauty of the Islamic prohibition of intoxicants, the prohibition of illegal sex, and the need for the Hijab. I am finally on an even keel, no more am I too much in one direction; I am living a moderate life, and doing my best to be a decent Muslim.

There are always challenges, as I am sure many of you have felt, as have I. But through 76

these challenges, through these emotional pains, we become stronger; we learn and, I hope, turn to God. For those of us who have accepted Islam at some point in our lives, we truly are blessed and fortunate. We have been given the chance, a chance for the greatest mercy!

Mercy which we don’t deserve, but still will God willing be given on the Day of Resurrection. I have reconciled with my family and have started looking to start my own God willing. Islam truly is a way of life, and even if we suffer poor treatment by fellow Muslims or non Muslims, we must always remember to be patient and turn only to God. If I have said anything incorrect it is from me, and if anything that I have said is correct it is from God, all Praises are due to God, and may God bestow His mercy and blessings upon his noble Prophet Muhammad, Amen.

May God increase our faith and make it in accords to that which pleases Him and grant us His Paradise, Amen! (63).

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Chapter 11 All Muslims are brothers and sisters in Islam

By Malik Mohammed Hassan First of all, I would like to start by saying that this true story is not for my own fame or admiration, but for the sake of my Lord and your Lord God. All praises due to God, the Lord of the worlds, the Beneficent, the Merciful Owner of the Day of Judgment. I would like to repeat to you something I heard: the journey of a thousand miles has to start with the first step, and this is the first part of my journey.

My name is Malik Mohammed Hassan, and I have recently converted to Islam. When I was in junior high school, I was first introduced to Islam by reading the book Roots by Alex Haley. It taught me a little bit about the strong will that most Muslims possess, myself included. It also introduced me to Allah. I had never heard of Allah in his real form until I read that book, and I was very curious. I then started reading about The Nation of Islam (specifically Malcolm X), and it fascinated me how devoted he was to God, especially after he left the self serving Nation of Islam. Reading about Malcolm made me think about a God who (for a change) did not have any physical … limitations and, being a totally blind person, it made me relate to these people: the people who Malcolm and Haley referred to as Muslims. I continued reading what I could about Islam, which wasn’t as much as it should have been. My reading material was very limited, because like I said above, I am a totally blind person, and the material available about Islam in Braille or on tape was not only very little, but also very general. I believe the reason was that the material that I had access to wasn’t written by Muslims, and it kind of painted a dark picture of Islam. I think most of the literature written by Christians or non Muslims about Islam tends to do that most of the time. And I didn’t know that there were even Muslims in Halifax, so I obviously didn’t know any. I didn’t even know about the local Islamic association until I was already a Muslim.

So I read what I could until my first year out of high school, around the month of May, 1996, when I received a phone call asking me if I wanted to participate in a camp for blind and visually impaired people, known throughout Canada as Score. I agreed and sent them a resume, and praise be to God, I was excepted for work.

At first, I really didn’t want to go, but something kept telling me it would be a good idea if I went. So, on June 30th 1996 I boarded a plane from Nova Scotia to Toronto and took my last trip as a non Muslim; I just didn’t know it yet.

I got to Toronto, and everything at first was pretty normal... It was on the second day I was there when the journey of a thousand miles first started.

I arrived on a Sunday, and on the next day I met the person who God would use with His divine power to help guide me to the beautiful Religion of Islam. I met a sister named [xxxx], and if she reads this, I hope she doesn’t get mad at me for using her name.

When I met her, I immediately wanted to talk to her because I liked her name. I asked her 78

of what origin her name was and she told me that it was Arabic; so I asked her if she was Muslim and she replied with the answer of yes. I immediately started telling her what I already knew about Islam, which lasted about ten seconds. I started asking her questions and also asking her to talk to me about Islam.

One particular incident that comes to my mind is when all of the workers at the camp went to a baseball game, and the sister and I started talking about Islam and missed pretty much the whole game.

Well, anyways, we talked for about three, maybe four days on and off about Islam, and on July the fifth, if my memory doesn’t fail me, I became a Muslim. My life has been totally different ever since. I look at things very differently than I used to and I finally feel like I belong to a family. All Muslims are brothers and sisters in Islam so I could say that I have approximately 1.2 billion brothers and sisters all of whom I’m proud to be related to. I finally know what it feels like to be humble and to worship a God that I don’t have to see.

For any non Muslim reading this, just look at it this way. It’s good to learn, but you never know when you will be tested, and if you’re not in the class at the time of the final exam, no matter how much you know, you’ll never get any credit. So like I said, it’s good to learn, but if you want to get credit, sign up for the class. In other words, declare shahada (testimony to faith) and let God teach you everything you need to know. Believe me the reward is worth it. You could say the reward is literally heaven.

If any good comes out of this story all the credit is due to God; only the mistakes are my own. I would like to mention a part of a hadeeth that has had a great effect on me and that is: “Worship God as if you see Him and if you don’t see Him, know that He sees you.”

(Saheeh Muslim) (64).

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Chapter 12 After Ten Years of Atheism: Discovers Islam

By Dr. Jeffrey Lang For those whom Islam has embraced, the greatest witness to God's unremitting, pursuing, sustaining, and guiding love is the Qur'an. Like a vast and magnificent ocean, it lures you deeper and deeper into its dazzling waves until you are swept into it. But instead of drowning in a sea of darkness, you find yourself immersed in an ocean of divine light and mercy ‌ as I read the Qur'an and prayed the Islamic prayers, a door to my heart was unsealed and I was immersed in an overwhelming tenderness. Love became more permanent and real than the earth beneath my feet; its power restored me and made it so that even I could feel love ‌ I was happy enough to have found faith in a sensible religion.

But I never expected to be touched by such intoxicating mercy.

"Dad, do you believe in Heaven?"

When young Jeffery asked his father about the existence of heaven as they walked their dog along the beach, it was apparent that this child possessed a highly inquisitive mind.

There perhaps was also a sign that he would subject things to a logical scrutiny and validate them from a rational perspective. It was little surprise that one day he would end up being a professor of mathematics, a matter subject that leaves no place for anything but logic.

During his senior years at the NotreDame Boys High, a Catholic school, he formed certain rational objections against belief in the existence of a Supreme Being. Discussions with the school priest, his parents, and classmates could not convince him of the existence of God, and to the dismay of the priest and his parents, he turned into an atheist at the age of eighteen. He was to remain so for the next ten years, throughout his undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral studies. It was a little after his becoming an atheist that he first saw the following dream: It [sic] There was a tiny room with no furniture, and there was nothing on its grayish-white walls. Its only adornment was the predominantly red-and-white patterned carpet that covered the floor. There was a small window, like a basement window, above and facing us, filling the room with brilliant light. We were in rows; I was in the third. There were only men, no women, and all of us were sitting on our heels and facing the direction of the window.

It felt foreign. I recognized no one. Perhaps I was in another country. We bowed down uniformly, our faces to the floor. It was serene and quiet, as if all sound had been turned off. All at once, we sat back on our heels. As I looked ahead, I realized that we were being led by someone in front who was off to my left, in the middle, below the window. He stood alone. I only had the briefest glance at his back. He was wearing a long white gown, and on his head was a white scarf with a red design. And that is when I would awaken.

During the next ten years of his atheist life, he was to see the same dream several times. He would not be disturbed by the dream, however, for he would feel strangely comfortable when he awoke. But not knowing what it was, he could not make any sense out of it and thus gave no importance to it despite its repetitions.

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Ten years later in his first lecture at the University of San Francisco, he met a Muslim student who attended his mathematics class. He was soon to develop a friendship with him and his family. Religion, however, was not the topic of discussion during the time he shared with that Muslim family, and it was much later that one of the family members handed to him a copy of the Qur'an.

He was not looking for a religion. Nevertheless, he started reading the Qur'an, but with a strong prejudice.

"You cannot simply read the Qur'an, not if you take it seriously. You either have surrendered to it already or you fight it. It attacks tenaciously, directly, personally; it debates, criticizes, shames, and challenges. From the outset it draws the line of battle, and I was on the other side."

Thus he found himself in an interesting battle. "I was at a severe disadvantage, for it became clear that the Author knew me better than I knew myself."

It was as if the Author was reading his mind. Every night he would make up certain questions and objections, but would find the answer in his next readings as he continued his readings in the accepted order. "The Qur'an was always way ahead of my thinking; it was erasing barriers I had built years ago and was addressing my queries."

He fought vigorously with objections and questions, but it was apparent that he was loosing the battle. "I was being led, working my way into a corner that contained only one choice."

It was early 80's and there were not many Muslims at the University of San Francisco campus. He discovered a small place at the basement of a church where a few Muslim students made their daily prayers. After much struggle in his mind, he came up with enough courage to go and visit that place. When he came out of that place a few hours later, he had already declared the shahadah, the proclamation of a new life, "I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His messenger."

After he made his proclamation, it was the time for the afternoon prayer and he was invited to participate. He stood up in rows with other students behind a prayer leader named Ghassan, and started following them in prayer and: We bowed down in prostration with our faces on the red-and-white carpet. It was serene and quiet, as if the sound had been turned off. And then we sat back on our heels again.

As I looked ahead, I could see Ghassan, off to my left, in the middle, below the window that was flooding the room with light. He was alone, without a row. He was wearing a long white gown and on his head was a white scarf with a red design.

The dream! I screamed inwardly. The dream exactly! I had forgotten it completely, and now I was stunned and frightened. Am I dreaming? I wondered. Will I awaken? I tried to focus on what was happening to determine whether I was asleep. A rush of cold flowed through my body, making me shudder. My God, this is real! Then the coldness subsided, succeeded by gentle warmth radiating from within. Tears welled up in my eyes (65).

Struggling to Surrender

By Mushfigur Rahman 81

Everyone's journey to Islam is unique, varying from one another in many different ways, but Dr. Lang's is an interesting one. From one who had once challenged the existence of God, he became a firm believer in God. From a warrior who fought a fierce battler against the Qur'an, he became one who surrendered to it. From one who never knew love and who only wanted to live a comfortable materialistic life until he died and become "longforgotten soil underneath an unmarked grave," he turned into one whose life became full of love, mercy, and spiritualism. "God will bring you to your knees, Jeffery!" said his father when he denied the existence of God at the age of eighteen. Ten years later, that became a reality. He was now on his knees, and his forehead on the ground. The highest part of his body that contained all of his knowledge and intellect was now on the lowest ground in complete submission before the majesty of God. Like all Muslim reverts, Dr. Lang felt that he was favored by God's mercy and that it was God Himself who directed him to Islam: I perceived that God was always near, directing my life, creating the circumstances and opportunities to choose, yet always leaving the crucial choices to me. I was awestruck by the realization of the intimacy and love that reveals, not because we deserve it, but because it is always there and all we have to do is turn to Him to receive it. I cannot say with certainty what the meaning of that vision was, but I could not help seeing in it a sign, a favor, and a new chance.

Dr. Lang is author of two books — both make interesting readings and are useful for both Muslim converts and born Muslims to read. He is married and has three daughters. It is no surprise that his children inherited some of his inquisitive mind. The boy who once threw questions at his father, was now a father himself who had to face questions from his own children. One day he was confronted by his eight-year-old daughter Jameelah after he finished the noon prayer with her: Daddy, why do we pray?

Her question caught me off guard. I didn't expect it from an eight- year-old. I knew of course the most obvious answer — that as Muslims we are obligated to — but I did not want to waste the opportunity to share with her the experience and benefits of salah.

Nevertheless, as I tried to put together a reply in my mind, I bought a little time by beginning with, "We pray because God wants us to!"

But why, daddy, what does praying do? she asked.

It is hard to explain to a young person, honey. Someday, if you do the five prayers every day, I'm sure you'll understand, but I'll do my best to answer your question.

You see, sweetheart. God is the source of all the love, mercy, kindness, and wisdom — of all the beauty — that we experience and feel. Like the sun is the source of the light we see in the daytime, God is the source of all of these and much more. Thus, the love I feel for you, your sisters, and mommy is given to me by God. We know that God is kind and merciful by all the things He has given us in this life. But when we pray, we can feel God's love, kindness, and mercy in a very special way, in the most powerful way.

For example, you know that mommy and I love you by the way we take care of you. But when we hug you and kiss you, you can really feel how much we love you. In a similar way, we know that God loves and is kind to us by the way He takes care of us. But when we pray, we can feel His love in a very real and special way.

Does praying make you a better daddy? She asked me.

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I hope so and I would like to think so, because once you are touched by God's love and kindness in the prayer, it is so beautiful and powerful, that you need to share it with those around you, especially your family. Sometimes, after a hard day at work, I feel so exhausted that I just want to be alone. But if I feel God's kindness and mercy in the prayer, I look at my family and remember what a great gift you are to me, and all the love and happiness I get from being your daddy and mommy's husband. I'm not saying that I am the perfect father, but I believe I would not be as good a father without the prayers. Am I making any sense at all?

I kind of understand what you mean, Jameelah answered.

Then she hugged me and said, And I love you, Daddy!

I love you too, sweetie pie. I love you too (66).

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Chapter 13 Canadian Catholic Discovers Islam

By Yusuf Ali Bernier

This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion... (Holy Qur'an, Surah 5, verse 3) The Roman Catholic religion is dictated by the Pope from the top down to the priests at the bottom. If a Muslim were to walk into a Catholic church, it would be like walking into a different world. He would find row upon row of pews in which the worshipers sit, stained glass windows with perhaps scenes of the last supper or the Messiah carrying a cross, etc.

On the front wall in all churches is the Messiah on a cross and below is an altar where the priest delivers his Sunday sermon. In some older churches, you may even find magnificent statue figures of Jesus, saints, Mary the mother of Jesus and so on. Church services are mainly repetitive rituals, singing, and prayers to Jesus or Mary or God and sometimes to saints. This is the type of world in which I lived and grew up most of my life.

If you were to ask me why I converted to Islam, my answer would fill volumes. However, if you were to ask me what led me to Islam I would have to say, now looking back, that it was my first encounter reading the Bible at the age of about ten. I used to sit bewildered reading the Bible into a tape recorder. After finishing, I would play the tape back in hopes of grasping the meaning of what I had just read, usually to no avail. So on Sundays I watched sermons on television, ordered free Bibles, and donated as much as I could (which could not have been much for a boy of ten) to the television evangelists. I received letters of gratitude and blessings and that made me feel good.

This continued for a year or so until finally I became too frustrated, lost, and honestly bored with the whole process. I tucked the Bible away in my dresser drawer, and I would only refer to it occasionally throughout my childhood and teenage years. I accepted the fact that I would never truly understand the Bible. That is, ironically, until later when I became Muslim. Only then did I begin to gain a complete understanding of it.

What had confused me reading the Bible then was the contradiction between the book and what I had been taught all my life by priests and religious pedagogues. I found that almost every aspect of my belief was shaken or simply did not make sense at all upon referring to the Bible. The very core of my faith, I had learned, was false. This brought me to the point in my life where I was pessimistic and cynical toward religion. I mocked my religion in my teens by going to church chewing gum and halfheartedly participating in services. I would grunt at the mere mention of God or Jesus. I did not know what I believed anymore. The only thing I was sure of was that there was a God. All of my confusion and disenchantment, starting from the age of ten, would ultimately trigger my quest for Truth and finally lead me to the religion called Islam.

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My first encounter with Muslim people was through business dealings. Their warm and generous hospitality won my heart. Their loyal remembrance of Allah intrigued me in phrases like, al-Hamdulillah (all Praise be to God) and inshah Allah (God Willing). I have never come upon people in a state of such strong faith before. Their kindness, generosity, and compassionate nature, I would discover later, were all part of being a Muslim. I wanted to be like them. This is what attracts people to Islam; this is what attracted me.

I began to learn the basics of Islam. The more I learned the more I wanted to know. Before long, I was studying Islam through books written by Muslims in addition to reading a translation of the Holy Qur'an. Only a select few knew that I was studying Islam, since I did not want any interference from Muslims and especially from my Christian and Jewish friends. I knew that if anyone was going to guide and aid me in my quest for Truth it would be Allah.

As time passed, my knowledge expanded into realms of Truth hitherto unbeknownst to me.

Islam became a powerful force like a magnet drawing me closer and closer to it. Allah was the only thing on my mind during the day, as I drifted to sleep, and the first thought when I awoke. Islam appealed to my intellect as well as my heart, and so my passion grew for it. I eventually learned Surat Al-Ikhlas (A chapter in the Holy Qur'an called Purity In Faith) and although I was not yet Muslim, I began to teach myself to pray using a book and reciting the only Surah I knew. I felt an overwhelming need to prostrate in reverence to the All Mighty to ask for forgiveness and guidance in the way that made most sense to me.

Shortly thereafter, I departed on a holiday taking the Qur'an with me. Four days later, alone in a foreign country, I became severely ill. I was bed stricken for a month each day losing almost a pound of my body weight. Facing my mortality and alone in my agony I remember pleading to Allah not to let me die incomplete. I had not yet converted but I knew in my heart that I wanted to be a Muslim. I was procrastinating trying to learn everything humanly possible. I now believe that this was my wake up call from the Most Merciful. That is to say that life is too short to put things off that you want to do. You never know if tomorrow will ever come.

Two weeks after my return to Canada, al-Hamdulillah (all praise be to God), I converted to Islam. al-Hamdulillah I did not die before saying the shahadah (Bearing witness that there is only ONE God & Muhammad is His Messenger and Servant). Allah is ever so Merciful.

He gives people many chances and signs. The part that is difficult is not so much recognizing them, but rather acting upon them with all your heart. Islam is like a medicine.

It changes deviant behavior and soothes the sobbing soul. Islam is the religion of Truth and the Qur'an is the guide for all aspects of life. The Qur'an gave me all of the answers to my questions. It alleviated my confusion and turned it into clarity and understanding. Never did I know that there is a religion that is absolute Truth in its purest form. If all mankind only realized that this truth is the religion of Islam. I pray to Allah to guide all of us to the straight path. The path of all the Prophets of Allah including Abraham, Noah, Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad (peace be upon them all). Ameen (67).

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Chapter 14 Islam and I - Conversion, is it right or wrong?

By Pam Uppal This is a story about my personal findings of Islam and what I always made it out to be.

This is about my biases and more than likely of many more people in this world. This is actually about finding myself and where I fit in best and belong, because where I feel I belong is where ALLAH the merciful resides and I need to find a connection to him.

Let me first of all begin by telling you that I am born into a Sikh family and the religion and its teaching have been drilled into me just like any other person have grown up into. I believe that religion is a way and guidance and a teaching to how to connect with GOD and of course then there is also the political side to it where I quite frankly don’t want to go.

Religion is what we perceive it to be.

Let me ask you a question first of all and I would really appreciate honest feedback on this.

Do you feel that a person man or women from what ever walk of life has the right to change his/her religion if they don’t feel the connection in their own? Or do you feel that if GOD wanted you to be a different religion then he would have made sure you were born in to it? In answering this question please consider the modern world and the rights that we are given.

So the way my story goes is like this: All my 28 years I have believed that Islam is the most strictest and most disciplined religion in the world, it is the most despised and the Muslims think only of degrading women, and they prefer quantity over quality in Islam. Oh but was I wrong or what. These biases were embedded into me to an extreme where I wouldn’t want to cross paths with a Muslim with out feeling disgust. Imagine so much hatred one can have with out being knowledgeable and versed in Islam let alone his/her own religion! This hated has or I should say had been developed by communities and people around me and also by Muslims them selves who I have had bad experiences with.

At the time of course it was more so blame it on the Muslims game that I played, how ever now I say we have bad experiences with people from all walks of life don’t we does this mean that ? I should hate everyone?

I am not happy because the more I try to develop my spiritual intellect and find the right path to GOD the more I feel sad. I have always felt that I don’t belong in Sikhism. Imagine that? Just as your name is your identity so is your religion, and what am I suppose to say when I don’t fit in anywhere? At this point in life I went though a very conflictual and painful time and turned to Christianity. There was so much there that contradicted it self, and even a belief that when judgment day comes after the rapture and revelations that Jesus Christ will only be taking those who believe in him along with him and of course not in so many words what was said is that you need to be a Christian for this to happen. I’m not agreeing with so much of this and again found myself lost and questioning my self as to 86

where I fit in. Now I also want to add here that my feelings were very confused here because I didn’t know where to seek advice and felt that I cannot be jumping from one religion to another, or can I? At this point in life I sought refuge in God and asked him to let me know in his own way what the bigger picture is for me and where it is that I need to go. Then entered a person in my life who is very special to me and we have grown to be fabulous friends and he asked me a question: He said to me why did you hate Muslims so much, I am one too and you don’t hate me? What have you sought in Christianity and have you gained that? Why did you turn to Christianity? All these questions I could not reply to but what I knew was that after talking to him I need to research on Islam and I need to do it now. My findings were amazing and my views and thoughts have changed so much that I will never ever just say Allah but when ever I talk to him and of him I will refer to him by one of his 99+ names given to him. When talking about Prophet Muhammad I will say PBUH. I have a big folder full of findings and I am still adding to it. Let’s just say that I am so engulfed and delighted but all this that I know for sure that there will be many more articles I will be writing. Just before I end this I will let you readers know, that, I have not yet converted but something in me is telling me that I need to, I fit in. I truly believe when the time is right ALLAH the greatest will have mercy upon me and show me the way. Yes there are many signs but I know he will tell me when the time has arrived. My only fear or concern right now is the ramifications that will come upon me when and if I convert. One way I see it is that I will gain so much by this and on the other side loose my family who are strictly Sikh and for this I pray everyday because God will show me the way. Someone said to me “ask your self do you want to be the person who on his/he death bed calls for his mother or the one who utters the name of the wise one “ALLAH?” I know which one I want to be do you know who you want to be?

Please look out for my next article and then I will share with you my most amazing experience when I was dared to wear the Hijab for 2 days, and myself being a bit of a dare devil, decided to take the dare on. What I felt I will share with you because I know better now from my own personal experience that it is not just a cloth (68).

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Chapter 15 Muslim are good people, not terrorists

By Noor Aubie I looked around at my Muslim friends at work. These were good people, not terrorists. I chose the Muslim name "Noor" because of Surat An-Nur: [Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The Parable of His Light is as if there were a Niche and within it a Lamp: the Lamp enclosed in Glass: the glass as it were a brilliant star: Lit from a blessed Tree, an Olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is wellnigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it: Light upon Light! Allah guides whom He will to His Light: Allah sets forth Parables for people: and Allah knows all things.] (An-Nur 24:35) I became a Muslim officially on January 1, 2006, in Damascus, Syria. But I made Shahadah in 2003 when I stood in a sunlit meadow and told God my hopes and dreams.

The truth is I always feel like a "new" Muslim because there are so many things that I don't know. I stand with one foot in the Muslim world and one in the non-Muslim world. This is very painful, very harsh.

As a basically self-taught Muslim, I have wandered the Internet and the bookstores in search of true Islam. I have had only a little direction, although I have received a lots of misdirection. It has been a struggle to get the facts right and weed out people's cultural beliefs. I made a point early on to learn Qur'an and Sunnah and leave everything else aside.

I have struggled a lot to get where I am, and it has been both a joy and a heartache.

My faith has only grown through this entire experience, although a few times I met up with really bad Muslim brothers, I really wanted to run and hide and cry. In the beginning, I thought people who were born Muslim were much better than me. What a shock for me to discover that I knew more than a lot of them. What a shock for me to realize that they do not "practice what they preach," even among themselves. This makes me really sad. The Ummah (nation) is in big trouble.

In the beginning, I received very good support and guidance from brother Mohamed Saffie, and now I take classes at the IMO (International Muslims Organization) in Toronto, Canada. Imam Hamid Slimi, my mentor there, is an outstanding teacher and has a brilliant way of getting to the simple heart of what true Islam is. May God reward these two brothers with Paradise.

There have been kind brothers and sisters along the way, but there are too many to mention here. May God Almighty reward all who have helped me and who continue to keep me on 88

the straight path.

I have also read some excellent books about Islam written by Muslims and non-Muslims, and I benefited from the good teachings of many Muslim scholars. And then there are the everyday Muslims, like the men and women in the group, in which we study the Islamic creed, who help me understand complex Islamic ideas and who make me a better person just for knowing them.

I think my story really starts when I was a small child. I grew up in a rural area just north of Toronto, Canada. I have two brothers, but I was a very lonely girl. I mostly played on my own and had a great imagination.

I remember being very young, maybe 3 or 4 years old, and lying in bed and thinking about life and death. I wondered about God's motives and who I would be if I had been born to a different family. Big ideas for such a little girl. My parents were always a little bewildered by me and my solitary games. I loved to climb very high trees and I would stay there for hours. Just sitting and thinking. I would run wild through the fields and pick flowers and eat berries.

We were very poor when I was young, and my brothers and I fought all the time over everything. My parents were young and did not believe in "sparing the rod." These days we would say that it is child abuse, but we mostly survived it.

The only time I could have my mother all to myself was if I went to church with her on Sunday mornings. I used to love to go and listen and smell the smells and look up at the great cross. It was probably the only time I did as my mother asked me to, the only time I was actually quiet.

When I was a teenager, I became very rebellious. I was angry about my abusive childhood and about not feeling loved by my parents. My father would get drunk and beat us for the smallest infraction. I hated my family, I hated myself, and I ran wild with my bad friends I remember always looking at the ground, not being able to look anyone in the eyes. I was always so scared. So I took drugs and drank with my friends to feel like I belonged somewhere, I thought God did not know me. I left home when I was 18 years old and traveled with a group of government-sponsored volunteers for one year.

When I returned home I went to college and became a Child and Youth Mental Health worker. I worked for two different government agencies and I saw all kinds of abused and broken children. It really broke my heart and my spirit.

While I worked, I also attended university, working on my BA in philosophy and psychology. When I was 25, I quit both my job and school because I was so burned-out emotionally and physically. I was also suffering from deep depression.

One spring evening, I decided to kill myself. I prepared the bathroom with towels and ran hot water in the sink. I took my sharpest knife and ran it across my wrist lightly, drawing

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only a little blood. Then I cried out in pain and fear to a God that I had given up on. And He was there. I felt an unusual pressure on my left shoulder, like a hand, and that was all I remembered.

I awoke hours later, and the sun was shining and the world was new. To this day, I have no feeling in that place on my shoulder.

I went back to the church where I, as a child had last known God. I cried every Sunday for a month, and then I began to study and after one year I was confirmed in the Anglican Church. And I met the man who is now my ex-husband.

We were together for eight years before things began to deteriorate between us. The beginning of the end for me was when I was involved in a very bad car accident in May 2001. An elder man slammed into the rear of my stopped car. He was driving 80 kms per hour when he hit me, and he pushed the rear-end of my car up against the back of the driver seat.

I injured my neck, back, and shoulder, and badly damaged both of my knees. I went through a lot of therapy. After the accident, I could not concentrate and was very restless. I told a friend that I wanted to "fly away." All that summer, I felt an impending sense of doom. By September 2001, my marriage was ending and I was very unhappy.

On 9/11 my entire world changed. I was so shocked and horrified. I felt as if God slapped me on the back of the head. Another wake-up call. The whole world shifted for me and I became aware of events and people I had never considered before. At first, I was scared, like everyone else. Then I began to wonder about what the media was telling me.

I looked around at my Muslim friends at work. These were good people, not terrorists. I began talking to them. At first, I was interested in the geopolitical aspects of what was going on. Why did "they" hate "us"? Then I found out what Western governments had been doing in the Middle East and North Africa for centuries. No wonder "they" hated "us."

While I was doing this research, Islamic ideas began to creep into my mind. I turned towards those who could help me in this area. Al-hamdu lillah, brother Mohamed Saffie took up the challenge, giving me reading assignments and teaching me basic Arabic phrases and the Arabic alphabet.

I became ravenous for more information. Someone gave me an English translation of the Qur'an, and the words of God leaped off those pages and into my heart. I was so strongly pulled into this book that it felt like the words had been in my mind all along, but I had forgotten them.

When I first heard the Adhan called, I cried and cried. Every thing I read and learned squeezed my heart tighter and tighter and filled me with both joy and sadness. Subhan Allah, I want to cry just writing these words.

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While Islam was finding my heart, I also had some difficulties with some people who were strongly opposed to my conversion. I was begged, threatened, discriminated against, verbally abused, and laughed at. I have lost friends and alienated my family, but in my heart I know what is right.

I continue to be surprised and disappointed by both non-Muslims and Muslims. I hope my journey of learning never ends. And I pray that I can be what God wants me to be, that I stay on the straight path and that I am always humble before my creator, Ameen (69).

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Chapter 16 Notes from the Ka'ba

By Claire Alkouatli As long as I can remember, I've wanted to go to Mecca. As a little girl, growing up in Vancouver, I gazed at striking photos of the Kaaba in National Geographic, marveling at the numbers of people all prostrating together, then tracing my finger in the direction of the blurs as people moved in a circular fashion around the mysterious black cube. I don't remember having any significant spiritual yearnings, back then, I think I wanted to go because it was just about the one place on earth I couldn't go. As a rebellious university student, with some very basic knowledge of Islam, I dreamed up plans to sneak into Mecca, across the desert from Jordan, swathed in folds of black fabric. Like a female version of Richard Burton, who came in via caravan, disguised as a light-eyed merchant from the Central Asia. I never ever imagined I'd perform the small pilgrimage, the Umrah, authentic, legal and sincere, with my husband beside me. Now, as I trace these early and misguided yearnings, I see them as the first signs that one day I'd go to Mecca. And once I got there, I realized that perhaps my whole life has been a grooming, a training, a purification to get me to the point where I could go...

My husband, Saadi, and I had set our intention to go to Mecca months before we actually got there, and my desire to visit the most sacred temple intensified over time until one day, during prayer, it surprised me. As I rested my head on the ground, in a corner of Saadi's grandmother's home in Damascus, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I was literally laying my forehead on the marble floor of the Great Mosque. But we'd been told that a visit to Mecca is difficult—especially for a Canadian-born 'convert' to Islam, married to a Syrian through the American system—and by divine invitation only. Up until a few hours before we actually got on the plane, it didn't look like we'd make it there at all. Our paperwork was in disarray; due to our own disorganization, we didn't have any of the requisite papers. For the dates we wanted to go, the Saudi's weren't issuing Umrah visas. The letter of invitation we'd acquired from a family friend, and prominent businessperson in Saudi Arabia, was rejected. All signs were pointing toward the negative. On the last day it would have been possible for us to go, Saadi's cousin in the Saudi Airlines office told us call him around noon to see if he'd been able to procure us visas in a last ditch attempt at a 'transit' loophole.

But by that time, we'd given up hope. At 2pm, we were still wandering around Damascus, eating falafel, planning to spend the afternoon videotaping children at Saadi's old elementary school in the old city. On a whim, between sips of fresh fruit juice cocktail, I said, "Let's just stop by the Saudi office and see what happened. Anyway, we said we would." So we went and were shocked to find our visas waiting. Four hours later we were on a plane to Jeddah. Apparently, we'd been summoned.

The highway from Jeddah splits about 15 miles from Mecca with a sign indicating that non-Muslims must exit. Included in the ones who make it through are tribesmen from Central Asia, village women from India, polished sheikhs from the Gulf, converts from the 92

West. At 4am pilgrims were already streaming through the city toward the Ka'ba, the mysterious black cube around which a large mosque had been built, their energetic steps and bright eager faces defying the dark night sky. It felt like noon. We were excited to join the stream, and not a bit tired on two hours sleep, as we walked toward the sacred precinct, the Beit al-Haram. After ascending a small hill, we suddenly see it: the pale marble of the mosque surrounding the Ka'ba.

Inside, ancient Chinese men with thin, wispy beards, trot past in twos and threes; turbantopped Afghanis with strikingly hawkish features move solo; tens of Indonesian women push past in large groups, with bright green and pink head scarves covering tents of white fabric. As we enter the great mosque, Saadi whispers to me, the sound coming faintly through my various headscarves, "I feel like I've come home; like all these people are my brothers and sisters." I felt the same way. I felt like I was home, although the impact of Mecca didn't hit me all at once. It took some time to seep into my being, it crept in quietly so that I didn't even realize until I'd left what a profound impact the place had on my consciousness until I'd left. Then I missed it intensely and found that at a moment's notice, I could conjure up the feeling of being there, a feeling of calm, astute, loving awareness. But back then, on that first morning, I was just awed by our common and feeble humanity.

At a time when we're divided into communities, nations, countries and civilizations, when cousins are fighting cousins and a propaganda war is swirling around us, being in Mecca is like being in the eye of the storm. When I prayed next to an old Pakistani woman in a faded green shalwar khameez or gave an African woman a scarf to use as a pillow for her sleeping baby, I felt that I was united with these women by our shared purpose, our shared devotion.

In this sacred space, colors merge, features blur, political differences recede—like the first Muslim community the Prophet Muhammad (upon him be peace) built in Medina. With everyone stripped of adornments, social indicators, identity tags—men wearing the two simple pieces of unsewn white cloth emphasizing the equality of humankind before God, and women fully covered with only faces and hands exposed—we become just people, bodies moving round the Ka'ba, hearts beating, feet pounding. We're equal in our humanity, equal in our potential, but unequal in our devotion, in our sincerity, in the intensity of our faith and awareness; unequal in the quality of our actions and in the totality of our surrender to God. As we circled round and round, I knew that the only difference between each person was the cleanliness of the heart—and all the thoughts, words and actions which spring from these hearts. I knew that my life would be wasted if I didn't make it my life's priority to cleanse my heart. At that moment, I knew that there was nothing else to live for.

I saw a woman sitting on the steps of the mosque one day, looking at the Ka'ba, with tears streaming down her face. Being in Mecca intensifies love for all of God's creatures, as our pain, our joy, our humanity is common and shared. I could feel the woman's pain, and also her tears, because we too had shed tears at points inside Mecca. There were many reasons for our tears, often feelings of intense humility, and sometimes no apparent reason at all,

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but in this sacred place, we had no doubt that these tears were healing and purifying. I noticed later that half of the woman's face was badly burned. Another time, in the crush of people circling the Ka'ba, Saadi and I looked down to see a man with no legs, circling the Ka'ba on his hands. The expression on his face was of calm serenity—like his circumambulation was normal—his movements patiently persistent. He looked humble, happy to be here, doing this, that we were both inspired. His circumambulation was more than normal, it was perfect.

We knew that each person in Mecca had been summoned, invited. Something beyond their own will and desire had brought him or her there. This is confirmed in the phrase each pilgrim repeats upon arriving in Mecca: Labaik Allahuma, labaik. "Here I am, God, I am here." Like an arrival announcement. We were thankful for receiving such a special invitation, and it evoked an intense feeling of wanting to reciprocate, in our human ways.

When someone invites you somewhere, you respond by reciprocating. I knew that our reciprocity would be by inviting divine consciousness further into our hearts, perfecting our interactions with other people and maintaining this reciprocity as the focus of our lives.

The time came in our pilgrimage to drink the water of Zamzam (the spring that had spontaneously gushed up under Ishmael's heel, when he and Hagar first arrived in the valley of Mecca after their exile from the Holy Land and the baby was dying of thirst). The water had an unusually neutral taste, neither sweet nor salty and as we drank it, we prayed that it purify us and would quench our thirst waiting for the Day of Judgment. Even while I was performing the pilgrimage rituals, I would have been hard pressed to be able to explain what each action meant logically, above and beyond the fact that they were done by the prophets Abraham and Muhammad (upon them both be peace) and are prescribed in the Qu'ran: "Proclaim to all people the duty of pilgrimage: they will come on foot and on every kind of fast mount, coming from every far away point on earth, so that they might experience much that shall be of benefit to them..." Quran 22:27.

The pilgrimage re-enacts some of the rituals of Abraham—willingness to sacrifice his son is remembered by performing a sacrifice, usually of a sheep—and going between the hillocks of Safa and Marwa is an re-enactment of Hagar's flight between the two hillocks.

But what about circling the Ka'ba, and why seven times? What about the black cube, which is essentially, empty inside, and which no one is allowed to enter? There is a story about the Prophet Muhammad recounted by his wife Aisha (may God be pleased with her) that describes his last pilgrimage to Mecca. After circling around, Muhammad actually entered the Ka'ba and prayed there, but later expressed regret to his wife saying, "One day people aren't going to be able to enter the Ka'ba, so I wish I hadn't gone in." So why can't we go in? I didn't understand why we were doing these things, but even as we were doing them, they felt right. That God had commanded we do them was enough. Later, though, I got something of an explanation.

I found out that Muslim jurists classify the Meccan pilgrimage rites as rites of devotion rather than rites of understanding. I wasn't necessarily supposed to intellectually understand

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every rite. The whole ritual is larger than I may ever understand, and the test of faith lies in doing the un-understandable, doing it because it is prescribed. Even embarking on the pilgrimage in the first place is such an act. It's really not for us in the sense that it's not easy. It's expensive, difficult logistically and even physically tiring. As the New-Yorkbased Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf says, "It's no Club Med experience." Yet, as I'm sure most Muslims would affirm, there's more profound joy going to Mecca than any Club Med destination.

The Qu'ran says: "To every community We have appointed different ways of worship which they ought to observe..." (Quran 22: 67). Every faith tradition has such rites of devotion, and often these acts appear bizarre, without reason. I've encountered them the world over and they are always fascinating, whether they involve offering a coconut to a stone deity and washing the deity in milk, or breaking bread at a Christian communion and sipping wine representing blood, or circulating a black cube. These rituals have been given to humanity in all its diversity, and somehow, no matter how obscure they may seem, they just feel right.

One day, when I'd been sick, I could barely stand for the prayers, but we didn't want to miss a single one. Praying in the Beit al-Haram, led by Imam Sudais and others of the most famous Quranic reciters in the entire Muslim world, is unlike anything else. Every-day reality in Mecca revolves around these five daily prayers, and we would count the hours between the prayers. In an ideal Islamic reality, I guess this is what everyday life would be like. Outside Mecca, it's so easy to get distracted and lose the thread of praying on time and the priority of those prayers. Inside Mecca, it's impossible to lose track of this thread. So I dragged my sick self to the Beit al-Haram. I had never felt my own weakness and helpless so poignantly. As soon as the prayers finished, I remained in prostration, with my forehead against the cool marble floors, just like I'd imagined before I came. I realized with a jolt that my intense desire to be in Mecca was simultaneously the reason we made it here, and that it was not from myself but from God. He places a desire in a person's heart so that He might grant it. Sometimes it takes time for that desire to manifest, which just increases its intensity. If we had not had such difficulty getting here, we may not have appreciated it so much once we finally arrived. I fell asleep in like that, in sajdah, to the rustle of sock feet, the whisper of prayers on lips, snippets of conversation in numerous languages and the gurgles of babies. I had the most peaceful sleep ever and awoke feeling deeply refreshed. I knew I'd been given a lesson in my own weakness in light of divine strength.

As we circled the Ka'ba one final time—the last thing a pilgrim does before leaving the sacred precinct—Saadi and I walked hand in hand. Our steps were small as people packed in around us from all sides. I could hear my husband's murmured prayers. We walked looking up into the space of clear blue Arabian sky above us, framed by the minarets and streaked with darting swallows. We looked at the bobbing heads of the pilgrims in front of us and to all sides. We looked down at the smooth marble underfoot, polished by millions of eager feet—cracked feet, manicured feet, sock feet, fat feet, frail and wrinkled feet—pounding the marble of the great mosque, pounding with purpose and direction, towards forgiveness, pounding towards God. I recall the verse in the Qu'ran that says that

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on the Day of Judgment, our mouths will be sealed and our hands and feet will testify to all we did. At that moment, I was ecstatically happy my feet were taking part in this ritual act.

Each pilgrim goes through many different things to get to Mecca, but we've all been guided here. As the trajectory of my life has propelled me to this point, a pinnacle point in the life of a Muslim, where is there to go from here? They say that there is a heavenly Ka'ba directly above the earthly one, which the angels circle round. And directly above the angelic Ka'ba is the Arsh al-Azim, or Throne of God. I see clearly now that there's no place to go from Mecca but up. Even if it takes all my effort, all my life, to get there. And even then, there's no guarantee that I will. Being in Mecca, one can't help but realize that nothing happens without Divine grace (70).

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Chapter 17 Why I Embraced Islam

By Sumayya (Evelyn) Tonnellier Many may ask why a young, Canadian-born, Caucasian woman would embrace a religion that not only supposedly oppresses women, but takes all her freedom and independence and treats her as a second class citizen. I reject such accusations and pose to them the following question. "Why is it that so many women who have been born and brought up in the socalled 'civilized' societies of Canada, USA, and Europe are willing to reject their liberty, and independence, to embrace a religion that supposedly oppresses them and is widely assumed to be prejudicial to them?"

As a Canadian revert to Islam, I can only present my personal experience and reasons for rejecting the freedom, that women claim to have in this society, in favor of the only religion that truly liberates women by giving us a status and position which is completely unique when compared to non-Muslim counterparts.

As a child growing up in a non-religious home, I often asked my parents if there was a God, who is He, and where did He come from? Their response was always, believe in what you want to believe. This confused me, because many of my friends had religions, and I never understood why I didn't.

I remember when I was six or seven years old, I attended Sunday School, at a Church with a friend a couple of times. I found it very boring. I didn't feel comfortable around the other children, and felt pressured by the instructor and other children because I didn't know anything about Jesus Christ may Allah exalt his mention. Feeling this way I stopped going to the Sunday school, and continued growing up without a religion, with no knowledge of God, which made me feel very lonely.

It wasn't until I was in high school when I learned about religion in my social studies class, and remember vividly how my teacher told us women in Islam have no rights, women are denied education, must be circumcised, and how women must obey men, otherwise, the men can beat them.

This made me think. No matter what this teacher said, something in my mind kept telling me this couldn't be true. Ironically, around the same time I was learning this, I met a Muslim, named Khaled (who is now my husband) at the place where I worked and asked him about what my teacher said. He was shocked to hear the school boards were teaching this about Islam and told me they were all untrue. When discussing this with my teacher in front of my fellow students, the teacher told me that my source is wrong, and he has the information in his books, otherwise he wouldn't be teaching us this stuff.

My teacher pretty much made me look stupid; however some of my friends believed me. I continued talking to Khaled at work about Muslim women and was very curious about the role of Muslim women. I have to admit that I never agreed all the time with what Khaled 97

said, but I was also a non-believer at that time, and never understood fully what Islam was.

I was (and still I am) always fascinated with how the Muslim women would cover themselves, they always seemed to have the look of peace on their faces. I would never have guessed that I would one day be one of those ladies who is fully covered.

Two years later, Khaled and I were married and had our first child, Al-Hamdulillah. It wasn't until one year after my second child was born, Al-Hamdulillah, when I began to feel depressed and adrift, feeling a large spirituality void. I felt there was a big chunk of my life still missing. This was when I began to read about various religions, and it wasn't until I bought a translation of the Holy Quran when I finally understood the true meaning of life, and that there is none has the right to be worshipped but Allah). The Quran answered all the questions I was looking for, and some that I never even thought of.

In August 2007, one week before the holy month of Ramadan, I taught myself to pray, memorized two suras (Quranic Chapters), and said my Shahadah (Testimony of faith). I no longer felt adrift and I believed in Allah. It was like having the feeling and guidance from Allah.

Wearing the scarf for the first time made me feel as though I had more peace, I was someone, not only a someone, but a Muslim. I was (and am) protecting myself from all evil. I felt a lot more close to Allah, because He has ordained women in the Noble Quran to cover themselves. I know in my heart that it bothered my husband a lot to have a wife who did not only embrace Islam, but to see her practicing it when he wasn't. My husband and I have no differences anymore in terms of raising our children (as Muslims), and have never been so happy since he and I started practicing Islam.

My life has changed a lot since I embraced Islam (all for the best), and I'm loving every minute of it! I recommend it to everyone out there, whether a Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu, to pick up a copy of the Noble Quran and to read not just some of it, but all of it.

May Allah give everyone the strength and courage that He has given me during the past year (71).

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Chapter 18 Why Major Canadian Christian Missionary revert

By Dr. Garry Miller A very important Christian missionary converted to Islam and became a major herald for Islam, he was a very active missionary and was very knowledgeable about the Bible...

This man likes mathematics so much, that's why he likes logic. One day, he decided to read the Quran to try to find any mistakes that he might take advantage of while inviting Muslims to convert to Christianity.... He expected the Koran to be an old book written 14 centuries ago, a book that talks about the desert and so on...He was amazed from what he found. He discovered that this Book had what no other book in the world has.... He expected to find some stories about the hard time that the Prophet Mohammad (Peace Be Upon Him) had, like the death of his wife Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) or the death of his sons and daughters...however, he did not find anything like that... and what made him even more confused is that he found a full "sura"(chapter) in the Koran named "Mary" that contains a lot of respect to Mary(peace be upon her) which is not the case even in the books written by Christians nor in their bibles. He did not find a Sura named after "Fatimah"(the prophet's daughter) nor "Aishah"(the Prophet's wife), may Allah(God) be pleased with both of them. He also found that the name of Jesus(Peace Be Upon Him) was mentioned in the Koran 25 times while the name of "Mohammed"(Peace Be Upon Him) was mentioned only 4 times, so he became more confused. He started reading the Koran more thoroughly hoping to find a mistake but he was shocked when he read a great verse which is verse number 82 in Surat Al-Nisa'a(Women) that says: “Do they not consider the Koran (with care)? Had it been from other than Allah, they would surely have found therein much discrepancy”.

Dr Miller says about this verse: “ One of the well known scientific principles is the principle of finding mistakes or looking for mistakes in a theory until it’s proved to be right (Falsification Test)…what’s amazing is that the Holy Quran asks Muslims and nonmuslims to try to find mistakes in this book and it tells them that they will never find any”.

He also says about this verse: no writer in the world has the courage to write a book and say that it’s empty of mistakes, but the Quran, on the contrary, tells you that it has no mistakes and asks you to try to find one and you won’t find any.

Another verse that Dr Miller reflected on for a long time is the verse number 30 in Surat “Al-Anbiya’a”(The Prophets): “ Do not the Unbelievers see that the heavens and the earth were joined together (as one unit of Creation), before We clove them asunder? We made from water every living thing. Will they not then believe?

He says: ”this verse is exactly the subject of the scientific research that won the Noble prize in 1973 and was about the theory of the “Great Explosion”. According to this theory, the universe was the result of a great explosion that lead to the formation of the universe with 99

its skies and planets.

Dr Miller says: “now we come to what’s amazing about the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) and what’s pretended about the devils helping him, God says: “No evil ones have brought down this (Revelation), it would neither suit them nor would they be able (to produce it).

Indeed they have been removed far from even (a chance of) hearing it”(26:210-212).

“When thou does read the Quran, seek Allah's protection from Satan the Rejected One”(16:98).

You see? can this be the devil’s way to write a book? how can he write a book then tells you to ask God for protection from this devil before reading that book? those are miraculous verses in this miraculous book! and has a logical answer to those who pretend that it’s from the devil”. And among the stories that amazed Dr Miller is the story of the Prophet(PBUH) with Abu-Lahab… Dr Miller says: “this man(Abu Lahab) used to hate Islam so much that he would go after the Prophet wherever he goes to humiliate him. If he saw the prophet talking to strangers, he used to wait till he finishes and then ask them: what did Mohammed tell you? If he said it’s white then it’s in reality black and if he said it’s night then it’s day. He meant to falsify all what the prophet says and to make people suspicious about it. And 10 years before the death of Abu Lahab, a sura was inspired to the prophet, named “Al-Masad”. This sura tells that Abu Lahab will go to hell, in other words, it says that Abu Lahab will not convert to Islam. During 10 years, Abu Lahab could have said: “Mohammed is saying that I will not become a Muslim and that I will go to the hell fire, but I’m telling you now that I want to convert to Islam and become a Muslim. What do you think about Mohammed now? Is he saying the truth or no? Does his inspiration come from God?”. But Abu Lahab did not do that at all although he was disobeying the prophet in all matters, but not in this one. In other words, it was as if the prophet(PBUH) was giving Abu Lahab a chance to prove him wrong! But he did not do that during 10 whole years! he did not convert to Islam and did not even pretend to be a Muslim!! Throughout 10 years, he had the chance to destroy Islam in 1 minute! But this did not happen because those are not the words of Mohammed (PBUH) but the words of God Who knows what’s hidden and knows that Abu Lahab will not become a Muslim.

How can the prophet (PBUH) know that Abu Lahab will prove what is said in that Sura if this was not inspiration from Allah? How can he be sure throughout 10 whole years that what he has (the Quran) is true if he did not know that it’s inspiration from Allah?? For a person to take such a risky challenge, this has only one meaning: that this is inspiration from God. “Perish the hands of the Father of Flame (Abu Lahab)! perish he! No profit to him from all his wealth, and all his gains! Burnt soon will he be in a Fire of blazing Flame! His wife shall carry the (crackling) wood; As fuel! A twisted rope of palm-leaf fibre round her (own) neck!”(surat Al-Masad).

Dr Miller says about a verse that amazed him: one of the miracles in the Quran is challenging the future with things that humans cannot predict and to which the “Falsification Test” applies, this test consists of looking for mistakes until the thing that is

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being tested is proved to be right. For example, let’s see what the Quran said about the relation between Muslims and Jews. Quran says that Jews are the major enemies for Muslims and this is true until now as the main enemy for Muslims are the Jews.

Dr Miller continues: this is considered a great challenge since the Jews have the chance to ruin Islam simply by treating Muslims in a friendly way for few years and then say: here we are treating you as friends and the Quran says that we are your enemies, the Quran must be wrong then! But this did not happen during 1400 years!! and it will never happen because those are the words of The One who knows the unseen (God) and not the words of humans.

Dr Miller continues: can you see how the verse that talks about the enmity between Muslims and Jews constitutes a challenge to the human mind? “Strongest among men in enmity to the Believers wilt thou find the Jews and Pagans; and nearest among them in love to the Believers wilt thou find those who say, "We are Christians": because amongst these are men devoted to learning and men who have renounced the world, and they are not arrogant. And when they listen to the revelation received by the Messenger, thou wilt see their eyes overflowing with tears, for they recognize the truth: they pray: "Our Lord! We believe; write us down among the witnesses”(5: 82-84) This verse applies to Dr Miller as he was a Christian but when he knew the truth, he believed and converted to Islam and became a herald. May Allah support him.

Dr Miller says about the unique style of the Quran that he finds wonderful: no doubt there is something unique and amazing in Quran that is not present anywhere else, as the Quran gives you a specific information and tells you that you did not know this before. For example: "This is part of the tidings of the things unseen, which We reveal unto thee (O Prophet!) by inspiration: thou was not with them when they cast lots with arrows, as to which of them should be charged with the care of Maryam: nor was thou with them when they disputed (the point)”(3: 44).

“Such are some of the stories of the Unseen, which We have revealed unto thee: before this, neither thou nor thy People knew them. So persevere patiently: for the End is for those who are righteous”(11: 49). “Such is one of the stories of what happened unseen, which We reveal by inspiration unto thee: nor was thou (present) with them when they concerted their plans together in the process of weaving their plots”(12: 102) Dr Miller continues: “no other holy book uses this style, all the other books consist of information that tells you where this information came from. For example, when the (distorted) holy bible talks about the stories of the ancient nations, it tells you that a this king lived in a this place and a that leader fought in that battle, and that a certain person had a number of kids and their names are…. But this book (distorted Bible) always tells you that if you want to know more, you can read a certain book since that information came from that book”.

Dr Garry Miller continues: “this is in contrary to the Quran which gives you the

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information and tells you that it’s new!! And what’s amazing is that the people of Mecca at that time -time of inspiration of those verses- used to hear those verses and the challenge that the information in those verses was new and was not known by Mohammed (PBUH) nor by his people at that time, and despite that, they never said: we know this and it is not new, and they did not say: we know where Mohammed came from with those verses. This never happened, but what happened is that nobody dared to say that he was lying to them because those was really new information, not coming from the human mind but from Allah who knows the unseen in the past, the present and the future�.

May Allah reward Dr Miller for this nice reflection on the Book of Allah (72).

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Chapter 19 Converts in Kuwait: From Skirts to Abayas

By Sarah McBride Like all devout Muslim women in Kuwait, the figure in the veil and black cloak gave off an air of mystery and other worldliness. As she disappeared inside a building, it was easy to imagine her background: raised in her faith, shrouded in an abaya since the first sign of puberty. Actually, the woman rushing so purposefully inside the high walls of the Women's Committee of the Revival of Islamic Heritage Society (RIHS) was an American raised as a Protestant, who converted to Islam in her twenties. She and other converted Muslim women meet weekly at various organizations around town to discuss issues of their new faith. They have a lot of company --- thousands of Muslims living in Kuwait are former Christians, and many of them embrace practices that seem antithetical to the morals of those brought up in Europe or the United States. The most obvious custom is wearing the veil.

"Modesty, mostly" is the reason that Hazel, a British woman who converted to Islam in 1981, gave for wearing it. "When you're covered, you're treating each other as human beings without being distracted." Another convert, Iman, points out that covering is ordered in the Quran, and it is not nearly as restrictive as some people believe. "The translation for hijab (the term used for covering the hair, arms, and legs) is 'shield', and it is shielding the woman from harm and corruption. It doesn't restrict the freedom of the woman to move about, to carry out all her normal duties," she said.

It is stipulated in the Quran, rather ambiguously, that women should cover from head to toe. But the Hadith or Sunna, a collection of sayings of the Holy Prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, and a description of his life, says women should be covered except for their hands and faces. Nowhere does it say women should wear black --- this is a custom of the region rather than an Islamic requirement.

For Linda, a Canadian woman who converted to Islam in her 30s, wearing hijab was something she had to ease into. "Living in the Middle East has helped a lot," said Linda who met and married an Egyptian man after she converted. She thinks she still might be dressing in the Western tradition if she and her husband had not spent a year in Saudi Arabia shortly after they married, by the end of which time she was wearing hijab. Linda recalls gradually becoming more and more uncomfortable with some of her clothes. A turning point came when she dressed in a shirtwaist dress one evening to meet friends. As she and her husband waited for them in the lobby of her apartment building, she realised how ill at ease she felt in her outfit. After checking with her husband, she ran back upstairs and changed into something looser and longer. After that incident, she bought her first abaya.

Covering her hair was also something she took step by step. "A friend gave me two light scarves, chiffon, blue' and beige," she said. She wore them from time to time, sometimes 103

over her head, until she got used to the idea. Then she started wearing the traditional opaque scarf, tied at the throat and covering the neck. The decision to wear hijab was taken with her husband, after much consultation. Today, Linda would like to cover more by wearing a coat, which buttons up the front and never flies open to reveal the clothing underneath, as abayas sometimes do. But her husband does not want her to, so for the time being, she continues to wear the abaya. "He wants me to look nice," she explained. "He thinks that just because a person is wearing hijab doesn't mean they can't look nice." True to his word, Linda always does look well put together under her abaya, and takes obvious care with her appearance. Soon, Linda's adolescent daughter will have to start wearing hijab, a transition both are somewhat apprehensive about. "She's nervous about it, because not too many kids (in her English school) do," Linda explained. "It's going to be a little bit difficult. I wish that it would have come naturally, earlier."

Another regular visitor to the RIHS is Badriya, an Egyptian chemist in her thirties who lived in Canada for many years. Although she was raised in Islam, she started wearing hijab in 1990, two years after moving back to Egypt. "I saw my younger sisters in hijab, and I started to ask myself why I didn't wear hijab," she said. She tried on a sister's scarves, and decided to start covering. But there was no going step-by-step for her, graduating from flimsy wraps to the large cloth that covers hair and neck.

"One day, I said, okay, I'm going to wear hijab. The second day, I went to my work, covered." But as with Linda, her decision was taken jointly with her engineer husband, whom she married in 1982. "My husband - I won't say forced, but he encouraged me," she explained. "He said, you're working with men, you should cover." Now, Badriya regrets not covering sooner, and is contemplating covering more. "I hope, if it's right Allah will let me cover my face," she said.

Iman is a Muslim convert who does cover her face. Originally from Oregon in the United States, she has gone well beyond hijab to wear a mask called bashiya, which hides the entire face except the eyes. These peep through slits show not at all, because she often covers the bashiya with a semi-transparent black veil known as niqab. She also wears gloves, so she does not have to show an inch of skin when she is out on the street. Despite her propriety, she says she does not advocate that everyone cover the face. "There's no compulsion --- it's up to the individual," she explained. "It's my choice and I stand behind it." Nevertheless, she is thinking about easing up a little. "I'm thinking of going to navy blue," she announced breezily. "It's not Islamically required to wear black." She is also contemplating finding an alternative for her abaya, which has been seeming cumbersome of late. "I move a lot --- I'm always stopping and having to adjust it," she said.

Like Linda, she eased into Islamic modesty. Although she converted in her mid-twenties, she did not become devout at first. She gradually started wearing hijab in Seattle, where she met women in an Arabic class who were practicing Islam fully. To the office, she wore long-sleeved blouses and long skirts, which were fine with the dress code of the fabric company where she worked. Sometimes, she put on a hat and gloves. "I dressed very elegant, as they put it," she said. One day, a friend from Saudi Arabia called her and asked her to read; a certain verse from the Quran. "It was the verse dealing with hijab," Iman said.

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"It was like somebody had taken a flashlight or a spotlight and shined it on this verse of the Quran." After that she started to take hijab much more seriously, but still her understanding of it was flawed. For example, her clothes would be modest in style, but too flashy in colour. Bright red was a favourite, which defeats the purpose of deflecting attention. She also did not really grasp the concept of an abaya, but tried to wear one while praying. "I wrapped this gigantic bedsheet around me because I'd seen it on TV", she said, laughing.

Listening to her, it is at first hard to see how anyone with such a seeming vague idea of her religion could embrace it so whole-heartedly. But for many converts, the peace they found with Islam came long before a deep understanding. Talking to enough of them reveals a pattern: Until they became Muslim, they were often depressed and adrift, feeling a large spiritual void. Many of them experimented with several religions before turning to Islam.

In many ways, Linda is a good illustration. "I was not very happy," Linda said. "I felt lost, I was drifting. I didn't feel like I belonged in my society." Her first move was to go back to her church, the United Church of Canada. "But the United Church . . . it's a very boring church," she said. "There was no vitality, there was no life." At the same time, she was learning about Islam, where she found a belief system and rules she liked. "The answers were there, it brought (faith) to life," she said. In Christianity, "it's very difficult to find them." Eventually, she converted.

For her family this seemed strange, but they don't understand Islam, Linda said. One recurring problem is her mother's failure to grasp that the incentive for wearing hijab is spiritual, and does not depend on location. When Linda returns to Canada for visits, her mother invariably tries to get her to take off her scarves, saying she doesn't need to wear them in the West.

Hazel faced the same difficulty back in England, with her mother assuming she wore the veil only to make her Kuwaiti husband happy. "Go on, take it off, I won't tell him," her mother would urge her. As an Englishwoman embracing a very unEnglish practice, she thinks she makes some people uncomfortable, she says. Others are more snide than embarrassed. "Isn't it a bit hot?" is a favorite question about her clothing. Laughing, she said her favourite reply was, "Not as hot as hellfire . . . it's a bit cheeky, I know, but they deserve it."

Iman faced far more serious problems. She went through a divorce in her mid-twenties, and lost her two young sons to her ex-husband. A large part of his custody case hinged on her conversion to Islam, she said. Other members of her family shun her. At her mother's funeral in 1980, her devout Assembly of God uncle told her that the family considered her as good as dead for converting from Christianity. "When we bury her, we bury you," she said he told her. Shortly after that, she moved to the United Arab Emirates to study at the Sheikh Sayeed Center for New Muslims, and has not left the Gulf area since. Staying here, where she directs a women's group at the Revival of Islamic Heritage Society, enables her to practice her religion more fully, she said.

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Perhaps most impressive is her obvious commitment and conviction. "I chose the right religion," she said. "I've stayed with it." Badriya and Linda are assumed names to protect the privacy of the people interviewed (73).

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Chapter 20 The Seeker

By Yasser Aboudouma * Fatimah is one of many Canadians who chose to convert to Islam in search of peace for their souls. She has learned about Islam from the Qur'an and several Islamic books, and she believes that Islam is the most suitable way of life. She asked Allah to bless her and make her live and practice Islam, not just believe in Islam.

Fatimah looks forward to the day when she starts living with Muslims and learning from them how to live Islam as a way of life. With her white skin, blue eyes, and blond hair, she is the typical dream of many Arab, Middle Eastern, and Far Eastern men, even if she is 55 years old.

"Indeed, I love Ibrahim. He loves me, too. He's an Egyptian working in the US, and he proposed to me," said Fatimah Ibrahim is 65 years old and already married to another woman. He has two adult children and two grandchildren. His daughter and her husband live with him here in Canada.

"He lets me talk to his wife, and she was so happy and supportive of our marriage," said Fatimah "Fatimah, are you sure we are talking about an Egyptian woman? Are you sure she is his wife? Is she sick, too old, or something? There is no Egyptian woman — or any woman in the world — who will support her husband in marrying another," I said.

"No, she's fine, and I saw her picture. She looks pretty in her forties. Anyway, this is what happened," she answered.

Eleven years ago, Fatimah went through a critical health problem. She had cancer of a late stage. She had to stay in the hospital for a period of time. In the hospital, she knew a Muslim person who felt sorry for her pain. His name was Ashraf, and he offered to read to her from the Qur'an.

Fatimah did not understand the words he read, but the sound of Qur'an gave her a peaceful feeling. But, as a typical Westerner, she repeated the stereotypical criticisms against Islam, which non-Muslim and Western media promote as the "weak points of Islam": issues related to women's rights, polygamy, divorce, beating women, and so on.

The argument intensified between Ashraf and Fatimah, and Ashraf never gave up while Fatimah continued her attack on Islam. When she got answers for all her questions and queries, she decided to become a Muslim.

"I'm so lucky that I knew Islam from the Qur'an and other Islamic books. Knowing Islam through the Muslims' behavior in the West is not the right thing. They demonstrate a wrong image of Islam, and so do the Islamic countries that they come from," said Fatimah.

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She continued, "Sure, there are a lot of good Muslims in Canada, but still, there are a lot of bad people who tried to abuse me and other converts."

Muslims who live in the West face a lot of challenges, but the converts to Islam face different kinds of challenges; they face problems with their families, neighbors, and also other Muslims.

"Converting to Islam, even in Canada, is not that easy, especially in a small town, as most of your neighbors will keep annoying you and try to put you and your family down," said Fatimah She continued in tears, "My elder sister told me that my cancer is a punishment from God as I converted to Islam and there is no treatment for me till I return to Jesus and Christianity."

"You know, the doctor I used to work for at his private clinic refused to give me the same rate as he paid other non-Muslim girls. He disliked me because I wear hijab while he tries to hire young girls who wear short skirts. Finally, he refused to give me a recommendation letter."

Personal Truths Muslim communities in the West consist of different groups of people who come from different Islamic countries. Some of them are very good; others are very bad. In addition to what some Canadians who chose to convert to Islam face, new Muslims or even newcomers to the West also have to be very careful; they should not trust anyone.

Female converts face abuse and get affected by misunderstanding Islam and Islamic rulings. They get most of their information about Islam from migrant Muslims, some of whom are good and give the right information whereas others give false information to the convert women so that they can exploit them.

"Imagine! I refused to marry a Pakistani guy, so he spread rumors about me all around the Muslim community, saying that it's forbidden from an Islamic point of view for any Muslim man to marry me because I smoke, was a wife to a Christian person, and had two Christian children. He said that my body is dirty because of those reasons, which is why, according to him, Muslim men are Islamically prohibited to marry me," Fatimah said.

I replied, "I think the person who said such words about you knows nothing about Islam. I believe that he's completely wrong. Where were the other Muslims in the community? Why didn't they refute that?"

She answered in tears, "It's taken me days and nights of crying and searching for the truth and evidence of what he called me, and I found nothing. Till now, I don't know from where he got these so-called rulings."

Muslims in Canada are either migrants, born of migrants, or Western converts. Most immigrants interact with the community by attending prayers, donating to the community for building schools and mosques, and participating in religious, celebratory gatherings.

Those born of migrants in the We stare used to attending prayers and deal with Islam only as a religion. Some of them deal with Islam as a way of life, and they have a lot of confusion as to what they live and see indoors and outdoors.

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The Western converts are in the middle — they are lost. Many converts left their families; they live by themselves or with Muslims if they are married. Their families reject them and reject the idea of conversion. On the other hand, the Muslim community accepts them as guests.

Fatimah showed me some letters from a convert Canadian woman who lived in Saudi Arabia and got married to a well-known Egyptian person. The letters were amazing: The writer described her feelings about Makkah and Madinah. I looked to Fatimah and, before I said a word, she said, "That woman who wrote these nice, sweet words returned to Christianity a few weeks ago. She now has a new boyfriend, and she says bad words about Islam."

Fatimah explained that her friend suffered from her husband, who used his powers to send her to prison when she refused to obey all his orders, no matter what they were. When her friend tried to call some people to help her, they refused as they considered that her husband is a respectable person and that it is her mistake that she failed to cope with a different culture.

She laughed when she remembered when a Muslim guy, Pakistani, proposed to her one day for a temporary marriage called mut`ah marriage, which is mainly practiced by Muslim Shiites. When she reminded him that he was Sunni, he did not deny he was and asked what was wrong with becoming a Shiite for the marriage. That person was her son's age.

I asked Fatimah in shock, "Fatimah, with all what you said, what you suffered, and what you know, how come you believe that Ibrahim will be a good husband for you?"

"I'm lonely. I'm not a young girl any more. I want to feel home. I'll accept that marriage in the way he wants. We'll record that marriage in the mosque only, in the US." Few months passed, and I forgot all about Fatimah as I became busy with my life in Canada; then one day, my phone rang and I heard Fatimah's voice at the other end.

"He was a liar. Everything was wrong. He wants me to spend my money on him and his daughter and her husband. He has been after my passport and casual relations. It has turned out he didn't have a US citizenship or even a green card," Fatimah said with tears in her voice.

"Fatimah, I won't blame you or remind you of our argument a few months ago, but the only solution for you now is to ask for a divorce," I replied.

"He refused and said he loved me even though I gave him a hard time. When I insisted, he told me that we are not actually married according to Canadian, US, or even Islamic laws. I realized that all what he did is fake, and he said the people from the mosque were just his close friends. He got them to help him," she said.

"Oh My God! Are you sure? You can send him and his friends to jail," I said.

"No, I can't, because according to the Canadian and US laws, he didn't force me to do anything, and according to Islamic law, there is no paper that says we're married. Simply I trusted him and he betrayed me," she sadly explained I felt sorry for her, and I believed she deserved better treatment than what she faced.

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Led by the Blind Fatimah is a sample of the converts who suffer from many mistakes that occur because of our negligence, whether in our homelands or in the West.

Where is our responsibility toward converts, especially women? Any convert to Islam has to be reminded that the ethics, women's and men's rights, and Islamic rulings in the Qur'an and Islamic literature will not necessarily be found when dealing with some Muslims. This is not because Islam is an inapplicable religion, but because some Muslims are far away from real, practicing Islam. This is the same as in any other religion or culture. We cannot judge religion only by the behavior of its followers. It does happen that many Muslims, mainly Arabs and Far Easterners, try to abuse female converts who are still new to Islam and not knowledgeable enough about it.

Fatimah did not get the right advice in the proper time. Islamic countries, Muslim communities, and Western countries chose to leave the stage for amateurs to provide her and others with advice. Muslim communities in the West and in Islamic countries think that their mission ends once a non-Muslim converts to Islam by pronouncing the Shahadah On the other hand, we cannot say that converts are not to blame. They sometimes refuse to use their minds to differentiate between good and bad people. They sometimes allow themselves to give trust, regardless of whether the person deserves this trust. They sometimes follow others almost blindly.

We have to admit that there are problems that originate from our countries and continue in the West whereto some of us migrate. In our countries, we care about academic education and forget to increase our knowledge about our religion. When some of us migrate to the West, they may consider ourselves experts in Islam just because we were born Muslim or because we come from a Muslim-majority country; then we start giving Islamic jurisprudential opinions and fatwas.

The worst things happen when sometimes we let an unqualified person act as an imam, especially in the West. Do the Islamic organizations in Islamic countries strengthen their role by sending qualified people to manage the problems that Muslims face in the West?

Do embassies of Muslim countries exert any efforts other than building mosques?

The converts who are new to Islam might stumble upon a Lebanese mosque dominated by Lebanese, Shiites, , . They might take what they see for granted and get confused as to what Islam really is, or they might understand that there are different interpretations.

Life and work make us too busy to stay in touch with our friends. One day my wife told me about a popular social networking website called Facebook. I registered there and searched for my old friends. Fatimah's name showed in the list. Questions came to my mind: Is she still a Muslim? Was she strong enough to go on despite all what happened to her? Did she embrace another religion? Did she give up the "idea" of religion?

I do not know! All I know is that Fatimah, a woman I respect, has suffered much stress in her life before and after Islam. She sought peace by converting to Islam. She dreamed about spiritual stability and a strong relationship with Almighty God. But she found herself dealing with people who gave her a wrong impression about Islam, either by taking advantage of her ignorance about Islam, her lack of knowledge or by failing to give her enough advice and support. I feel I am to be put under the latter category (74).

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* Yasser Aboudouma is an Egyptian-Canadian who lives between Cairo and Ontario. He holds a B.Sc. in engineering and a diploma in project management. He is interested in issues of social and cultural differences.

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Chapter 21 Discovering Islam

By Lara As-Salamu Alaikum wa Rahmahtullahi wa Barakatu (May the peace, the mercy, and the blessings of Allaah be upon you).

I am Canadian-born of Scandinavian and other ancestry, and I was raised in Canada. I have been a Muslima since February 1993 when I was 23. While growing up, I was never affiliated with any religion nor was I an atheist. When I was in my mid-teens I started to think somewhat about religion and at that time I did believe in the Oneness of God (Tawheed). Christianity never interested me.

My first contact with Muslims occurred when I was introduced to some Muslim international students in 1988. Through them I learned a bit about Islam, such as Ramadhaan fasting. But it was really not until 1992 that I became interested in Islam. In the summer of that year a Canadian newspaper published a series of articles attacking Islam by using examples of anti-Islamic behaviour of some Muslims in an attempt to vilify Islam itself. Non-Muslims tend to judge Islam on the basis of the behaviour (which is not necessarily Islamic) of Muslims. I was not yet a Muslima but the articles were so outrageous that I sent a letter to the editor in defense of Islam. Now I was curious about Islam. I re-read some articles I had picked up several months earlier from the MSA Islam Awareness Week display at my university. One was about 'Eesa [Jesus] as a Prophet of Islam. Also, I asked a Muslim to get me some books about Islam; they were about the overall ideology of Islam and were written by two famous Muslim authors. Impressed, I thought, "This is Islam? It seems so right." Over the next few months in my free time while attending university I continued to learn about Islam from authentic Islamic books, for example The Life of Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, by Dr. Muhammad Haykal. One certainly does not learn the truth about Islam from the mass media! Also, newcomers to Islam especially must be careful to avoid the writings of deviant groups which claim ties to Islam so as not to be misled. And just because the author has an Arabic name does not necessarily mean that he or she is a knowledgeable Muslim or even Muslim at all. Also, I learned about Islam from some kind, knowledgeable Muslims and Muslimas who did not pressure me. Meanwhile, I had begun to Islamize my behaviour which did not require huge change. I already avoided consuming alcohol and pig meat. Also, I always preferred to dress conservatively/modestly and not wear makeup, perfume, or jewellery outside my home. I started to eat only Islamically slaughtered meat. Also during this time I visited a masjid (mosque) in my city for the first time.

Until I discovered Islam, I knew almost nothing about it. I say discovered because the "Islam" that I had always heard about through the mass media is not true Islam. I had always assumed that Islam is just another man-made religion, not knowing that it is the Truth. I had also assumed that a person had to be raised as a Muslim to be one. I was not

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aware of the fact that all humans are born Muslim (in a state of Islam - submitted to the Creator). Like many "Westerners" I associated Islam with the "East" and did not know that Islam is universal in both time and place. However, I never had negative feelings about Islam, Al-Hamdulillaah. The more knowledge that I acquired about Islam, the more I felt that I too can actually be Muslim as I found that many of the beliefs that I already had were actually Islamic not merely "common sense."

So after familiarizing myself with what Islam is basically about and what are the duties and proper conduct of a Muslim person, as well as thinking and reflecting, I felt ready to accept Islam and live as a Muslima. One day while at home I said the Shahada (declaration of faith) and began to perform the five daily salawat (prayers), Al-Hamdulillaah. That was in February 1993, several days before the fasting month of Ramadhaan began. I did not want to miss the fasting this time! I found the fasting to be much easier than I had anticipated; before I fasted I had worried that I might faint. At first there was a bit of an adjustment period getting used to the new routine of performing salah and fasting, and I made some mistakes, but it was exciting and not difficult. I started to read the Quran (Abdullaah Yoosuf Ali's translation) when I was given one soon after accepting Islam. Before that I had read only excerpts of it in other books. Also in the beginning, I found The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam by Dr. Yoosuf Al-Qaradawi to be a useful guide.

In January 1996 (during Ramadan) I started to wear the Islamic headscarf (hijab). I realized that I could not fully submit to Allah which is what being Muslim is about, without wearing it. Islam must be accepted and practiced in its entirety; it is not an "alter-to-suit-yourself" religion. Since becoming a Muslima I was aware that the headscarf is required of Muslim women and I had intended to wear it eventually. I should have worn it immediately upon accepting Islam but for many Muslimas (even some from Muslim families) it is not easy to take that step and put it on in a non-Muslim society. It is silly how so many persons get upset over a piece of fabric! Also, it is interesting to note that Christian nuns are never criticized for covering their heads. Never in my life did I have negative feelings toward muhajjabas (women who wear hijab) when I saw them. What made me hesitate to put it on was fearing receiving bad treatment from others, especially family. But we must fear Allah only, not others. In the few months before I permanently put on hijab I started "practicing" wearing it. I wore it when I travelled between my home and the local masjid on Fridays when I started attending the jum'a salah (Friday congregational prayer). (Of course, since becoming Muslim I always wore it during every salah). A couple of weeks prior, in Du'a I began asking Allah to make it easy for me to wear it.

The day I finally put it on permanently I had reached the point where I felt that I could no longer go out with a bare head, and I thought "tough bananas" if others do not like me wearing it since I alone am accountable for my actions and am required to perform my Islamic duties, and I could never please everyone anyway. Sometimes opposition to hijab is a control issue: some persons just plainly do not like those who are determined and independent especially if it is their child.

Upon wearing it I immediately felt protected and was finally able to go out and not be the target of stares/leers from men. At first I felt a bit self-conscious but after several weeks I

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felt completely used to wearing hijab. Sometimes other persons look puzzled/confused, I think because they are not used to seeing pale-faced, blue-eyed Muslimas! By the way, wearing hijab is Da'wah in a way as it draws attention to Islam.

Since accepting Islam I continue to seek knowledge about the Deen (religion) which is a lifelong duty for all Muslims--male and female. Currently, I am learning Arabic and hope to be able to read the Quran in Arabic soon, Insha'Allaah. Reading, discussing Islam with other Muslims, and the Friday jum'a khutba are all educational. Striving to be as pious as one can be and fighting against one's own evil traits (jihad al-nafs) takes effort and is continuous and never ending for Muslims.

I find Islam ever-more fascinating, and I enjoy living as a Muslima (75).

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Chapter 22 How I became a Muslim

By Amina I was born in Canada to Christian parents from European descendants. I was raised in Canada for the first several years of my life. Then my parents became missionaries. We moved all over the U.S.A. and Europe, while my family tried to make people become Christian. Finally we moved to Jerusalem. There I discovered so many things about life. I never knew what was a Jew or a Muslim before this, but I soon learned. I remember the first time I visited the Old City of Jerusalem and I saw Muslims for the first time.

I was fascinated by their culture. I soon found myself attracted to the Old City more and more. I made many friends there. I went to a Christian school that was first located on the Jewish side of Jerusalem but was later moved to the Arab side. I found my self going to school with these Muslim people. My parents soon forbid me to be their friends, or to even talk to Muslims, because she said they were filled with demons. At this time I was very young, a teenager, but I still never believed her. I saw no demonic actions from these warm hearted people. I made many friends, and I snuck away to visit them. Soon my mother found out and beat me. I was told I also had demons for loving these people. Soon after this my mother threw me in the street to live.

I lived in a boarding school after this and worked to pay for my schooling. Eventually, my family left Jerusalem for Canada. And I was left all alone in Jerusalem. After 3 years I went to Canada to visit my family. They were less than hospitable to me, their own daughter. I was told I was demon possessed and thrown into the street. I stayed in Canada for 3 months. I felt lost and alone. I went back to Jerusalem and got a job in the Old City and moved there. I worked for an Arab family who helped me and took care of me, even more than my own family.

Everyday I felt my self drawn to the Large Majestic Dome of the Rock. I would go there and sit in the gardens listening to the call to prayer. As I watched the faithful Muslims gather for prayer, I felt a longing in my heart. I wanted this, this peace of heart that most seemed to have. Despite the Intafada, the torture, and killing, that happened to them everyday, they had peace. Peace of heart. I saw many horrible things in Jerusalem, West Bank and Gaza.

And I heard the world cry for peace!!. But always for the so called "poor Jews".

I hardly ever heard a cry for the poor children trying to defend their mothers and sisters from rape and torture. These people had the bravest hearts I have ever seen. Small children would corner soldiers toting guns in a corner, with just stones as their weapons. I hope one day to have one quarter of their bravery. When I moved to Canada I met some Muslims here from Lebanon.

They seemed to be able to answer all the questions I had. And If they didn't have the answers, they said they could find them by asking scholars of Islam. I was very impressed by this because they were not afraid to say I don't know. They never lied to me or tried to fool me. There is no shame in saying I have to ask. In fact this proved to me their honesty

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and love for this religion. I was told by many people that women are oppressed in Islam. So of course this was a major concern of mine. So I asked questions of them concerning this.

They explained to me that women are precious, like the most valued treasure. They also explained to me that men are not better than women and women are not better than men, they are just different. Different in feelings, thought, and emotions, among other things.

They also told me that in Islam, there is no prejudice at all, and in fact being prejudice is against Islam. Muslims do not judge a person on their skin color, place, status of birth, male or female. The only way a person can be better than another is if they are a better Muslim. And this makes sense because we cannot help our birth place or to whom we were born. The same as a murderer or a rapist cannot be placed on the same platform as a man who has been good all his life.

I asked these people to explain to me all about the fighting and so called terrorism that is going on in this world. And the answer they gave me was, there are people who practice Islam and people who do not. The fault is not with the religion, but with the people who disobey the religion. And besides, we do not know all the circumstances of what life is like, other than our own. I didn't really know how one becomes Muslim and they explained the belief of Muslims to me. And here it is, as it was explained to me and to all Muslims dating back to the first Prophet, ADAM. Peace be Upon Him. Allah is One Indivisible.

Allah does not resemble any of his creations.

Allah exists without a place.

Allah has no beginning.

Allah has no end.

Allah has the attribute of hearing.

Allah has the attribute of sight.

Allah has the attribute of Kalam (speech) Allah has the attribute of Will.

Allah has the attribute of Power.

Allah has the attribute of Knowledge.

Allah has the attribute of Life.

Allah does not need anyone or anything.

When one looks at the belief of Islam it becomes so logical and obvious. It is logical to believe that there is only One God. For example, If someone said there were 2 gods and one wanted a person dead and one wanted a person alive, a person cannot be dead and alive in the same time, so one of these so called gods would be weak, and anything weak does not deserve to be worshipped.

Let me explain to you what is the definition of perfection, because when I heard this, it all made sense. Perfection is something that does not change and has no flaws or weaknesses, because if something changes, it either changes for the better or for the worse. And if something changed for the better, that means it was bad and then became good. Nothing changes and stays the same. And if something changed for the worse, this means it is no longer perfect. So God is Perfect. God does not change. Anything that is weak does not deserve to be worshipped. When we say God exists without a place we mean that everything other than God is a creation. And all creations have a beginning and a possible ending.

Therefore all creations need One to give them their beginning and ending. Some people do

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not think about the extent of the creations. Place, time, light, imagination, thoughts, as well as all the humans and animals are creations, among many many other things. For example, a place is a creation. It has dimensions or a body just like the other creations. And they need One to give them their shape form and dimensions. Therefore we say that God exists without a place before God created place, and since God does not change, then God exists without place after God created place. How totally logical!! So this is the correct and Logical belief in God. And this is the belief of every Muslim on this planet no matter where or when he or she lived.

When Islam is practiced accordingly, it is a beautiful sight. I hope I have shed some light on those who have questions about Islam. You are also welcome to e-mail me if you have any other questions. I ask Allah to show you the right path, or to keep you on the right path.

If one wants to become Muslim, it is very simple. All you need to do is say "I believe there is only One God, and Mohammad is the last Prophet and Messenger of God" One says this loud enough for themselves to hear. You don't need to go to a mosque or a person in order to become Muslim, but after you become Muslim, go and learn more about Islam from a Mosque. They will be happy for you, no matter where on this earth you are. And they will help you as much as they can. If you want a listing of Mosques near you, perhaps I can help. I know a lot of Mosques all over the world. So just e-mail me if you like, and I will help you (76).

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Chapter 23 A Canadian Social Worker Becoming Muslim

By Thomas Irving In approaching an account of my conversion to Islam, it would be as well to relate my personal experience, both before and after coming into contact with its ideals. This is not so much to tell a story in itself as to show how the thought of thousands of other young Canadians and Americans is evolving and the opportunity that awaits an effective Islamic propaganda.

I can remember thrilling, as a very small child, to the Christian interpretation of Jesus's life, but yet I cannot say that I was ever truly Christian of my own conviction. Instead of absorbing the pretty Biblical tales, I began wondering why so many in the world were 'heathen', why Jews and Christians differed on the same Bible, why the unbelievers were damned when the fault was not theirs, and also why they could practice goodness as well as the self-called "higher nations".

I remember especially a missionary returned from India stating how the 'Mohometans' were so obdurate in adhering to their religion; that was my first encounter with Islam, and it roused an unconscious admiration in me for their steadfastness to their faith and a desire to know more about these "wicked" people.

In my first year course in Oriental literature, I had learned of the progression of human thought in its attempt to perfect its conception of God. Jesus had culminated the teaching of a Loving God. This idea had been lost in a cloud of liturgical doggerel and atavistic paganism; a beneficent, merciful deity had been obscured by an implacable overlord who could only be reached through an intercessor. Someone was needed to lead men back to the fountain of truth with its limpid mainstream of the One God. Europe was still in the semi-barbarism induced by the folk-wanderings and the extinction of classic culture by a narrow ecclesiasticism. The East was the logical centre of inspiration, and here Muhammad (God's blessings be on him) arose seven centuries after Jesus, when Christo-paganism was firmly entrenched in Europe and rational study, let alone inspiration, still nine centuries distant.

At last I was able to accept Muhammad as an apostle of God; firstly, he was needed; secondly, my own conclusions had been independent and still coincided; and thirdly, apart from both the former, the realization of the divine quality of the Holy Qur'an and the Prophet's teachings flooded upon me clearly.

At the same time, I received and bought more and more literature upon Islam. An Indian philanthropist from Bombay, the late Mr. Q. A. Jairazbhoy, had sent me What is Islam! by H. W. Lovegrove (this is perhaps the most practical exposition that I have read, and merits wide distribution). Later he sent me [...an...] annotated edition of the Holy Qur'an, and various other books and tracts. At Montreal, I was able to procure considerable French literature on Islam, both for and against, and this helped broaden my vision (77).

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Chapter 24 Sofia's Journey to Islam in Turkey Although Sofia was a stubborn lady, she knew when to accept a piece of advice - especially she knew who to ask for it. The day Sofia arrived in Turkey she was carrying a small bag in her hands and many uncertainties and hopes in her heart. Her life had changed completely the year before, but the kind of change she was looking for was different now.

During her teenage years Sofia had always wondered about the true meaning of life and the correct way to reach God. Being only fifteen, she was considered a rebel by her Catholic teachers who could never satisfy her questions about faith. How can God be three different things at the same time? Why do people pray to saints and virgins instead of asking for help from the Creator Himself? How can a priest, an ordinary man, know if God forgets our sins after confession?!

Whenever she would ask, the answer was the same: it is a question of faith, you just have to believe. The teachers were always complaining about Sofia to her parents who did not know what to tell them any more. 'She is a very inquisitive girl,' her mother would say. 'She is blasphemous!' the nuns replied.

Looking back on those years, she was now grateful for her religious education. She could understand that God had chosen those people to educate her so that her soul would wake up in due time on the right path. As a Catholic, Sofia felt she was a phoney. She rejected many principles and commands, but she had always been fearful of God and somehow she had to find the right way to praise Him and thank Him. Although Sofia was very concerned about this, she could not help behaving as a normal teenager; therefore she would not be illuminated until many years later.

Finding the way: When Sofia turned twenty-four, her old education awoke and she started searching for the answers in the Eastern cultures, but found herself disappointed once more in Buddhism and Taoism of which she did like some aspects, but others made no sense. She would find the truth in the most unusual way, through the most marvelous person - Ridvan.

It was one November morning when she was in a teacher's chat room that she met Ridvan a middle-aged Turkish man with whom she had long academic chats. In the middle of their conversations, he would excuse himself for ten minutes every day at the same time. This could not escape Sofia's natural curiosity and finally one day she questioned him directly: 'I am very sorry to be nosy, but I am curious about something‌' Her fingers rushed quickly on the keyboard: 'Where do you go every day at the same time for ten minutes?'

The screen read: 'I go to pray' and Sofia roared with laughter. 'What is your religion?' She asked before she made any comment. 'Islam,' He replied.

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Sofia knew about Muslims as much as she had seen on the media, so her first assumption was that Ridvan was a fanatic for getting offline and interrupting the conversation just to pray. Until that very moment, she had not realised how biased she was against Muslims. It came down on her only after he mentioned Islam and immediately she started shooting question after question about women's rights and terrorism.

With extraordinary patience, Ridvan counteracted all her attacks with logical answers based on Qur'an and on his vast knowledge of history. Sofia was overwhelmed by his words and she soon plunged into a whole new angle of conversation - faith.

It took her many months to get rid of her prejudice before she started asking Ridvan the old questions which had been sleeping at the back of her mind since her years in high school.

He could answer them all - she accepted them all. As their conversations developed, there also grew a great respect for each other. What Sofia felt was the kind of love and admiration a little girl has for her father, the kind of feelings she had lost long ago in her childhood.

A year passed and, as something that was bound to happen, she stopped using the word God to say Allaah, and after reading some Quran, she testified 'there is no God but Allaah and Muhammad is His Prophet'. She was a Muslim now and the year that followed was a whirlpool of changes.

Istanbul: After her first year as a Muslim, Sofia was now in Turkey. She needed to live in a more Islamic environment to continue learning about her religion. And Allaah had granted her the most qualified teachers whom she called brothers and sisters. They would take care of her and worry about her future as real family. She had never felt so loved and she was inevitably sensitive to any act of kindness towards her. Being taken care of was a new sensation for her. She had always been the kind of friend, sister and daughter who was on the alert to anyone's needs, not always caring about her own. She had devoted her life to her studies, her work and being available for everyone else except for herself.

Her days in Turkey were filled with the most heartfelt emotions, including those she experienced the day she met Ridvan face to face for the first time. 'Hi, how are you?' he asked when they met on a narrow street in Istanbul.

'Cold', she said to make his moustache rise in the shape of the first smile she saw on his face. She had anxiously longed for that moment for two years, yet, she felt so calm, as they had been together forever. They talked for hours. 'I cannot believe I am sitting here in front of you', Sofia whispered tearfully.

He just smiled, for he was a man of few words when exposed to feelings. On appearance he was a simple man, but he was so big inside, so full of knowledge and yet, so modest. He had the knowledge acquired through books and also the kind one gets after having lived many years of a hard life. He shared both with Sofia and she tried to learn as much as she

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could from them. 'I will always be with you', were the last words she heard from Ridvan the gloomy Wednesday afternoon they said goodbye.

Due to Ridvan's busy schedule, they only could meet a couple of times. This was enough for Sofia to re-group her troops and start battling life again. Although Sofia was a stubborn lady, she knew when to accept a piece of advice - especially she knew who to ask for it.

That person was Ridvan, the man she trusted hundred per cent. She was aware of the fact that it was going to be very hard to stay in Turkey on her own, so Ridvan concentrated on the most difficult aspects for her to get used to. Cultural shock, language barrier, unknown place, no job, loneliness‌ plus all the hardships implied when living in a developing country.

The factor that worried Sofia the most was loneliness. She knew that she could manage to get a job as a teacher of English, as a matter of fact she already had several offers to take into consideration. It was being alone what made her doubt. She wished to stay in Turkey with all heart, but she was terribly afraid - afraid of failing to find what she was looking for, afraid of breaking down, afraid of falling into another depression.

A difficult year: Once Sofia realised she was a Muslim, another episode started for her. Adapting to a whole new way of life was not at all easy. There was so much she needed to learn! At first she only concentrated on the practical aspects such as her new dress code, prayer, dos and don'ts. Little did she imagine how hard it would be to live, think and act as a Muslim. Her new choice brought her more sorrow than she thought of at the beginning.

At first she believed it was a matter of changing the method in which she praised God. Soon she found that the most challenging part was yet to come. After her conversion, she encountered all kinds of opposition. She had a typical Italian family who followed the most important Catholic traditions - Easter and Christmas. Whenever she brought into question the reasons why they celebrated these events, everyone would agree on the answer: 'We have been doing it since the times of your great grandmothers. It's our family tradition.'

So when Sofia wanted to irritate them, she would push the topic further throwing a lethal dart: 'But you do know that these events are meant to be commemorated more than by eating and gathering to have fun‌Do you know the meaning of Easter or you just like eating fish with the family? Do you think Christmas is for toasting at midnight with Champagne?'

Not always did Sofia raise these questions, but she enjoyed causing a stir in certain occasions to demonstrate that being a Catholic was more than following your great grandparents' traditions. With her mother's irritation, she felt victorious for she knew she was right.

Sofia's grandfather always laughed because he also knew his granddaughter was right.

After serving in World War II, his feelings towards God and religion had turned sour. Sofia

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loved him very much; she would sit by him and listen carefully to the many anecdotes he had about the war. He would also narrate his experience with Muslims and how he became their friend while fighting in Libya. Perhaps it was for this reason that he was the only one who easily accepted Sofia's conversion. His words were a treasure for her: 'You know I do not believe in God and religions, but if I had one, it would be Islam!'

That was the little support Sofia received from anyone in her family. Her mother would call her lunatic, her sister would ignore her and for her father it made no difference as long as it didn't affect him. She also lost many friends who could not understand her. At work she said nothing and whenever she covered herself to go onto the streets, she had to face the society's prejudice, laughs and looks!

There was nothing Islamic in her Western country (Argentina) and it was too hard to resist so much opposition. Sofia often wondered if she had taken the right decision, if it was worth such sacrifice!!

The answer was clear - yes. Paradise is something extremely valuable; therefore its cost ought to be high. With this spirit and a deep belief in Allaah, she could continue her way, the way that, she hoped, would take her back to her Creator, the Creator of all things.

However, external opposition was not the only enemy she had to defeat. In fact, that was the easiest part to deal with because she never cared much about traditions and her character was strong enough to defend herself against people's attacks. There was a harder challenge - her own inner contradictions and doubts. Anyone can acquire new habits, but the point is who can change the old ones? How can you give your character a new shape after twenty-four years? How can you behave differently towards the same old world around you? Nothing changes just because one changes, and for Sofia that was the most difficult point to accept.

Forming an Islamic thought was the hardest task of all. Re-building her ship to set sail with opposite coordinates towards unknown turbulent waters. She was determined to reach her destination against all the odds, even if that meant having to migrate to another country, for it is said in Islam: "Seek after knowledge though it be in (as faraway place from Arabia as) China".

Reasons to stay, wishing to leave: Sofia was very disappointed with what she found in Turkey. Maybe her expectations had been too high. Now she understood Ridvan's words when he told her that she should not expect anything from anyone so that nobody would let her down. The Islamic atmosphere she was found in Turkey did not vary much from the one she had left in her own country. It was hard for her to understand why these born Muslims had Islam on the palm of their hands and, yet, they did not take advantage of it. They preferred focusing on superfluous matters.

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Sofia had another friend near Istanbul who had warned her about this. Yavuz had told her many times that she should not expect much from Turkey and if she wanted to stay, she should think of just some time and then going back home. He knew Sofia and he could foresee how she would feel in Turkey. He fully understood what she was looking for and he also knew she was not going to find it there. She should spend some time with Muslims and then return to her country where she would feel more comfortable to practice and teach what she had learnt.

Sofia loved Yavuz very much, as the older brother she would have had if it had not been for her mother's miscarriage. He took care of her as a gardener takes care of his favourite flower - trying to keep her away from the weeds, protecting her from harsh conditions and nurturing her to make her grow safe and strong. Sofia trusted him and she knew she could count on him if she stayed, but this did not grant she would be happy. She could not let herself be anyone's burden, and she was running out of time before her departure date.

When Sofia embraced Islam, she never imagined that some day she would be willing to leave everything behind her to find her place in an Islamic country. Western life was so familiar for her; however, she longed for more than all the comfort that modern life offers in the most materialistic form. The friends who were traveling with her suggested that she should come back with them and try to learn Islam in her own country because that would be easier for her. Sofia knew there was no easy way in Islam and she was definitely not the kind of person who would make so with mediocrity.

Following the Prophet: She always remembered that when the Quran and the Prophethood were first revealed to Muhammad, the last Messenger of Allaah, he encountered endless times more hardships than herself. To think of Muhammad trying to spread the message of unity and peace in the corrupt idolatrous society of Arabia in the 600s gave Sofia a sense of courage based on a deep admiration for the man she considered the most powerful of all, not because of his sword, but because he counted on the Highest Power - Allaah.

Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has been the role model for every Muslim and Sofia was trying to follow his example to such an extent that to accomplish her learning process, she would move to Saudi Arabia if she had to.

She often tried to picture life in the pre-Islamic era, when baby girls were buried alive, when wood and stone were worshipped as gods, when life had no more value than some pieces of gold, when women were abused and tortured by their own husbands. She imagined herself as the most fervent follower of Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), for her spirit was against injustice, and the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had been sent to illuminate those ignorant people and guide them back to Allaah.

Sofia also compared that time to the present and discovered that capitalism based its power on the same kind of ignorance. It is not wood or stone that is worshipped now, but money.

The value of life seems not to have changed. Women's rights are just hollow promises

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written on a piece of paper. People try to improve according to how much they can get from others, and a person's worth is calculated by how much he owns. Sofia felt an outcast in a society whose principles were so deviant from the true meaning of life.

However, in that society she was born and raised, and being the only way of life she knew, it was the environment where she felt safest. Before moving anywhere she had to think of what she would lose and what she would gain. She thought about how Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and the early Muslims must have felt when leaving Mecca.

Only a small group of people believed in Islam and they also left everything behind to go to unknown places with an uncertain future. Everything was against them and they only had Allah on their side.

Sofia plucked up courage from their example, the courage she needed to make up her mind, to change the course of her life, to continue her spiritual quest in the Middle East. She prayed that her choice would be the correct one and that Allaah would guide her on His way, sparing her from so much loneliness and sorrow on her way to learn about Him and the message He had revealed to His last Prophet, Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) (78).

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