Balancing Act

New mom of three Daphne Oz can juggle motherhood and a busy career with the best of them— but the chef, author, and Chief Innovation Officer of Pure Spoon has also learned to apply the art of balance to her wellness routine, keeping it healthy at home with real, whole foods for her little ones and achievable workouts for herself.

MINI | We’re thrilled to have you on our summer cover! Let’s dive right into your life as a mom. What does your morning routine look like?

DAPHNE OZ | It changes day to day. Each of my kids wakes up at different times, so it depends on who’s up first. We go downstairs, hang out, I make coffee, which is my most urgent need first thing. We play, we’ll decide what we’re making for breakfast. On school days, it’ll be something quick like eggs or whole grain toast with butter or coconut oil, but sometimes all they want are chocolate chip pancakes. I have my healthier version of those too with pulverized oatmeal, but still plenty of chocolate chips! Then it’s absolute chaos of trying to get lunches together, getting them out the door, dropping my older two off at school, and then if my husband is there, trying to get my workout in. I love getting my workout in in the morning, otherwise the rest of the day gets in the way.

MINI | What does your fitness routine look like right now?

DAPHNE OZ | I am a big fan of keeping it simple. I had those days where if I didn’t work out for a full hour, it wasn’t a workout. But it just wasn’t realistic to try to budget that much time at this point, with this many kids. When I’m somewhere nice, I like going for a run outside, which is a good way to clear your head. We forget as humans how much time we should be spending outside, how much we benefit from breathing fresh air, and seeing the sun. Getting it done first thing in the morning makes me feel like I’ve already accomplished something. Just that little brain shift makes you feel that much more productive about your day. I love my Our Body Electric workouts, which are top instructors from across the country, streamed right onto your mobile device, targeting any part of the body you want. For me, that’s always core strength and arms, but of course, I love a little extra butt lift. I have a sequence of 8 minute or 28 minute workouts that I’ll do. When I’m on vacation, I’ll do a yoga routine. I’m so not a gym rat, but I can’t speak highly enough of how much better I feel when I get the workout in. You never want to do it, the hardest part is always getting dressed for it, and then as soon as you get going, you feel so good. I started listening to podcasts while I run and I feel so hyper-efficient while I’m doing it because my brain is being fed and I’m thinking about things. Having something to focus on helps it go that much faster.

MINI | What do you think is a great rule of thumb for moms looking to get back into shape after baby?

DAPHNE OZ | After college, I would do a quick 10-minute routine, first thing out of bed in the morning. Now, my youngest is 7 months, and I’m going to start doing it again. It’s such an efficient way to start your day. I would do a 5-minute jump rope, then push-ups, and jumping squats. It’s basically a 10-minute HIIT routine. You can find 10 minutes; that’s a reasonable commitment for anyone, no matter how busy. You’ll start to see those results so quickly. You don’t need big, fancy equipment. You need 2 or 3 pound free weights and a jump rope and you have a killer workout.

Start slow, don’t kill yourself. You just lost all of your core strength over the course of the last 10 months. Don’t make it painful or you won’t repeat it. Give yourself bite-sized ways to feel successful. That’s always been my piece of advice to myself as I get back to a place where I feel healthy in my skin. If you tell yourself you’re not going to eat bread, or sugar, or dairy ever again, chances are you’re going to fall off that bandwagon, you’re never going to stick with it, and you’re always going to feel like a failure. The biggest hurdle to conquer is your own negative self talk. It’s always hard to get started again. Give yourself 10 minutes. That’s not selfish, that’s a great thing, and you deserve it. That success builds on itself.

MINI | What do you think is the greatest challenge of motherhood?

DAPHNE OZ | The feeling that no matter how much you give and no matter what you do, it’s never enough. The better you are, and the more you give them, the more they want. That’s how you raise happy, well adjusted, resilient kids, but as someone who wants to do well, it’s really devastating to feel like it’s never enough. Something to come to terms with too is reckoning with this idea that you don’t control them. They are their own people. They’re not little mini yous, they’re not going to be motivated by the same things that motivate you. You can read all the books in the world and be the expert that the books tell you to be and still mess it up. It’s stressful in the moment, but actually, it’s the most exciting and fun thing as a parent. It’s seeing little people develop, seeing them become themselves, seeing them take the ingredients that you’ve given them, and make them totally their own.

MINI | What is your greatest parenting fear or worry?

DAPHNE OZ | You want to protect your kids from anything, from any moment of upset, and that’s inevitably going to happen. My fear is that in my effort to protect them, I won’t give them the tools to protect themselves. It’s going to be so weird raising kids in the era of social media when as they’re coming of age, they’re forced to contend with this behemoth of other people’s feedback. Raising kids through that is tricky to me.

MINI | You’ve just welcomed a new little one, baby Nica! Where have you seen the biggest changes going from 2 to 3 kids?

DAPHNE OZ | I found one to two way harder. With your first one, your whole world is rocked. You thought you had a lot to juggle before, but you didn’t. Our first two are 20 months apart so I was pregnant throughout the big transitions—getting into things, walking, talking. I felt like that pregnancy, I was exhausted.Then we welcomed our son, and juggling that toddler and newborn age gap was really hard because you finally get this rhythm down with the first and feel like maybe you’re starting to get some expertise and then the second one throws you for a total loop. Now you have two people on totally different schedules. After adding a third into the mix, you still only have 24 hours in a day. For us, it could just be that Nica is the happiest baby on the face of the planet. My daughter, Philomena, called Nica “Sugar” when she was in utero, and she came out literally sweet as sugar. She is always laughing, always happy, she’s my little Sagittarius baby, makes herself heard but is never complaining. That has definitely contributed to this transition being so far, pretty simple.

MINI | How did the process of naming your daughter go this time around?

DAPHNE OZ | I don’t know how we became these people. My husband is an over-planner, I’m not at all, but he normally keeps me on track. We got to the delivery room and did not have a name. Her middle name is one that we thought about for Philomena, [but] we loved the initials PBJ so much that we went with a different name for her. With Domenica, I went into labor on Sunday of a Supermoon. It was my third and everyone promised me it would be a quick, easy labor. I thought, she’ll be born on this amazing Sunday— [the moon] was a huge, glowing orb outside of my hospital room window. We loved her name, it was one that stood out to us, and then of course, she took forever to come out and so she was actually born on Monday. But her name means “blessed” and we loved the nickname Nica also. Domenica Celine felt very celestial, serene, and happy, and it went well with our other kids’ names.

MINI | What baby products are you using most for Nica right now?

DAPHNE OZ | She’s seven months now, so we just got to start her on solid foods within the last month, which has been so exciting. If there was ever a baby born who wanted to eat solid foods! She would literally reach out and try to claw things out of my other children’s hands. I recently joined as the Chief Innovation Officer at an organic, fresh baby food delivery company called Pure Spoon, so her being able to actually eat the foods that I’ve been part of creating has been so exciting. She loves it! And it makes my life so easy. As a chef, I of course want to make my kids food from scratch, but sometimes life gets in the way and I end up needing baby food to have on hand. This is the only baby food I’ve found that makes me feel like she’s getting homemade. We make it the same way, it retains all of the nutritional value, and it’s delivered to me fresh. It’s not older than my baby like most shelf-stable baby food. I’m enjoying two different baby skincare products—Earth Mama Angel Baby and Evereden—and we don’t go anywhere without our Aden + Anais dream blankets. My kids could be sleeping in the forest and sleep great if I had my dream blankets.

MINI | Are there certain things you stick to or stay away from when feeding your kids?

DAPHNE OZ | I grew up in a very health-focused family and one that loves to eat. That for me is so much a part of how I want to educate my kids and get my kids to enjoy their food. I want my kids to love to eat vegetables and fruits, different flavors and combinations. I don’t want it to ever feel like a penalty to eat healthy things. Eating healthy and being healthy should be an indulgence, not deprivation. They get in the kitchen with me and we make a mess. I don’t care about perfection and I certainly don’t care about it being neat and tidy. My kids see what my husband and I like to eat and they’ll try things. I don’t expect my 4-year-old to love broccoli at this point, but if I chop the broccoli up and put it in with her chicken meatballs, she loves it. I’m trying to avoid them feeling like “I have to eat this,” or “If I eat this, then I get to eat what I want.”

We eat a lot of sweet potato fries, chicken, and my kids actually love salmon which I’m thrilled about. Salmon is one of the places where I experiment with different flavors. We do a soy miso glaze or orange garlic glaze or even just basic, roasted with garlic, salt and pepper—they love that. They love cucumbers and whole Greek yogurt with salt and olive oil. They like to dip!

I try to avoid artificial colors and as many preservatives and sodium as I can. For the most part, I do buy organic and try to show them the variety of foods, and for me, eating well is what makes life so fun and exciting and I want to share that with my kids. But I also don’t want to give them complexes if they go to a friend’s birthday party and want to eat delivery pizza and store-bought cake— that’s part of the spice of life too. I tell Philomena, “big girls try everything once.” I don’t force her to have more than one bite, but whenever I put things on her plate, she has to try it once. People forget that it takes kids up to 20 times for their taste buds to adjust and recognize something that they like. Even if they reject something the first time, don’t be afraid to put it in front of them again and again. I incorporate new flavors on foods I know they already love. They love chicken meatballs and salmon, so I’ll try different vegetables added in there or different glazes. I also believe it started early. That’s part of why I love Pure Spoon, it has great flavor combos. And when I make my own baby food, I add different flavor combos in there so that their palettes are being exposed. I think a lot of our initial foods for kids are very sugary and it makes it hard for them to come back from that and learn to enjoy savory foods or foods that don’t taste like candy. If you want your kid to be an adventurous eater, I think the sooner you start, and the more you can model it yourself, the better.

MINI | What were your first thoughts when you found out you were pregnant with Baby #3?

DAPHNE OZ | It was one of the first times I got to experience the joy of my other kids anticipating a new sibling. Philomena was 10 months old when I got pregnant [with John], and I don’t know that she was all that thrilled. Now, they are literally inseparable best friends. I’m so happy that we get to have kids close together, although it was really challenging in the beginning. This time around, they were both so excited about the baby and it was really fun getting to experience pregnancy through their eyes. I’ve always joked that we want 7 kids—I don’t know that we’ll actually get to 7—but I’ve always wanted a big family and I felt very grateful and blessed that we were going to be able to continue doing that.

MINI | How do you manage to keep all of the plates spinning?

DAPHNE OZ | When I had my first, I had the typical mom guilt and so much of it. When I was at work, I wanted to be at home and felt like I was missing all of these critical moments with my baby. When I was at home, I felt like I was missing work opportunities. This time around, I recognize that whatever I’ve chosen to do, it’s because it makes me happy and I’m allowed to do that. As long as I can be 100% on when I’m on, then I can be 100% mom when I’m not. That to me is a much healthier balance. I feel like happy kids have happy parents who model that for them. If you’re taking an hour to get something done for yourself, I want to lead the charge to say, not only are you allowed to do that, but it’s good for you and it’s good for them to see you feel like you’re living up to whatever aspirations you have for yourself. It’s not all rainbows, but so much of what you’ll remember about this time is how you feel going through it. If you feel good about yourself and the choices that you’re making and they’re feeding your ultimate happiness and your kids’ ultimate happiness, that’s a really good thing. I’ve had to get so much better about organization. I’ve had to really hone in on my goals and what I want from this time and if there’s something that doesn’t line up with that, as much as I’d love to do it, I have to say no. Also, giving myself a break. I can’t think of a single day in the last year that I’ve gotten done with my to-do list.

MINI | What can we find you wearing most often in the summer?

DAPHNE OZ | I’m all about summer dresses. Long, short. I love to show off leg, I love to show off neck, and décolleté. With the kids, I’m in jean shorts and a variety of vintage tees most of the time. But I think it’s important to dress up sometimes and for your own psyche to feel that. People say, you dress up and you show up. I’ll do it whenever I need to give myself a little boost of power. I’m also a caftan connoisseur. I have a crazy collection of caftans that I love and live in. So if you see me in my kitchen, it’s usually in an oversized vintage tee shirt or a caftan and barefoot; that’s my preferred look.

MINI | You’ve got a full house right now, but do you see more babies in your future?

DAPHNE OZ | Oh yeah, for sure. I love it. I think that there’s a part of me that worries that I will just miss any version [of my children]. These kids are all so different. They come out with these little personalities totally intact, and there are all these iterations of what you can create, so I want to see some more versions. But I’m also not in a rush. I want to enjoy it. I want my kids to enjoy their little moment in the sun too.

Favorite kids movie... Shrek!

If I had more time I would... sleep! and read.

Fact Facts

Before kids, I never thought I would

Relish a night on the couch with takeout and a movie as much as I do.

Typical coffee order

Extra hot, whole milk cappuccino on weekends, iced americano on weekdays.

Shows I'm watching

I just finished McMafia and am starting the Night Manager. It usually takes me about a week to make it through an episode.

Can't stop listening to

Podcasts! I’m obsessed with Hidden Brain, The Daily, More Perfect, and RadioLab.

Guilty Pleasure

Cookie dough. Perfect New Jersey bagels. Eating the sweet core of a watermelon and leaving the rest behind.

Signature scent

I blend essential oils, usually vanilla or coconut with musk. Anything to remind me of the beach.

Fast Facts

On my nightstand

A vintage dish for jewelry, water and tea, aromatherapy, my phone, a book of short stories that is collecting dust.

Always in my fridge

Hot sauce, cheese, and pickled vegetables of some kind or another.

Ideal date night

Fresh seafood near the water and under the stars, lots of wine, an espresso to wake me up, then dancing to live music and never checking the time.

Favorite kids book

Any Harry Potter. To read to my toddlers: Lion Practice, How to Catch A Star, Madeleine, Pete the Cat, and Bread and Jam for Frances.

Favorite family meal

Roast chicken, sweet potato fries, baby lettuces with shallot vinaigrette, and ice cream cones for dessert.

Interview by Abby Johnson | Photography by Christina Craddock