UNEXPECTED BLISS

New mom and Carrie Bradshaw Lied founder KATHLEEN BARNES talks parenting style and the surprises of birth.

MINI | We’re thrilled to have you in this issue! Let’s dive right into your life as a mom. What does your morning routine look like?

KATHLEEN BARNES | My morning routine is typically alarm-free. My 19-month old, Hudson, is my alarm! My husband is a surgeon and has early mornings, so he is usually gone before 7:00AM. When Hudson wakes up and starts chatting, I’ll wash my face, grab him, and bring him downstairs for breakfast. We have breakfast and play time together before getting dressed for the day. Around 9:30, I will hand him off and get started on my work day.

MINI | How has motherhood changed you?

KATHLEEN BARNES | I have become fiercely protective of my time, particularly work hours. Prior to becoming a mom, Christian and I both worked pretty long hours. I now only have dedicated work time between 9:30AM and 4PM, so I have to really make those hours count. When I’m with my son, I don’t want to be on my phone or computer. I leave them in other rooms so I can fully focus on my time him. I always joke that my worst nightmare is for Hudson to “draw a picture of Mommy,” and the drawing shows me on my phone. No, thank you!

MINI | What do you think is the greatest challenge of motherhood?

KATHLEEN BARNES | Maintaining your sense of self. We had our first baby at 32, so I had plenty of time to really settle in with my identity, interests, and passions. It’s really important to me not to lose those parts of my life I’ve grown to love so much.

MINI | How are you and your husband a great parenting team?

KATHLEEN BARNES | I’m team captain in the morning and he’s team captain in the evening. It helps knowing who that default parent is, so there’s very little, “will you change his diaper? Will you prepare him a snack?” We both know who’s in charge, so it feels both fun and freeing.

MINI | Looking back to those first few days as a mom, what do you remember feeling? What do you wish you knew or what would you tell yourself?

KATHLEEN BARNES | I felt intensely emotional. My husband loves to recount a hormonal moment when I cried to him that he always knew what to do and was so good with the baby, and I felt like an amateur. He said, “I don’t know what I’m doing! I’m pretending to have confidence!” Ha! As a physician, he has seen plenty of newborns as patients. I felt so much less comfortable with Hudson than I expected. I wouldn’t say my “motherly instincts” tapped in right away. I wish I could have told myself, you got this. You may not feel like you know what you’re doing, but neither does your baby! Newborn babies don’t know what gas pains are, what life is outside of the womb. In a way, we are all reborn and we’ll figure it out together. And when all else fails… they won’t remember being a baby (and that’s a pretty important and forgiving part that I will use as long as I can).

M I N I84 s u m m e r ‘21

MINI | How would you describe your birth experience?

KATHLEEN BARNES | Unexpectedly blissful. Which I know is a little obnoxious to say. I went into it with no expectations. The goal was to birth a healthy baby in a hospital with an epidural, and the rest I was going to trust the medical staff to do what was best for mom and baby. I casually rolled into the hospital around 6:30AM with Christian, and he insisted on leaving our bags in the car in case it was a false alarm and they sent us away. We walked into the labor and delivery wing only to find out I was already 8cm dilated. They wheeled me straight to the delivery room, and by the grace of God, the staff worked incredibly fast to get me an epidural before things moved even faster (my water had not yet broken— miracle!). By noon, we had our beautiful baby boy. I credit pilates and yoga for the breathwork and core strength. I really cashed in on those years of reformer pilates!

MINI | Tell us how you decided on your son’s name. Were there some names that you liked and your husband vetoed?

KATHLEEN BARNES | My husband’s middle name is his mother’s maiden name, Hudspeth. We thought about naming our baby Hudspeth and calling him Hudson or even having a Junior, but ultimately went directly with Hudson. Christian didn’t want to overcomplicate his name

MOM MUST HAVES

ALWAYS IN MY FRIDGE “Organic milk for Hudson and sparkling water for me!”

ON MY NIGHTSTAND “An orchid and photos of Hudson and Christian.”

NOW PLAYING “Amber Mark.”

FAVE KIDS BOOK “Anything by Nancy Tillman.”

COFFEE ORDER “Iced latte with oat milk.”

FAVE KIDS SHOW “Bluey.”

FAVE RESTAURANT “Five & Ten.” 1073 S Milledge Ave, Athens, GA

IDEAL DATE NIGHT “Dinner with couples friends and late night cocktails.” and we both agree it was the right choice. We had another name that was in the running until I gave birth. When I saw his dark head of hair, he just felt more like a Hudson and Christian agreed. However, if I have another little boy, I hope to use our backup name because I still love it!

MINI | You’re from Mississippi! What aspects of your childhood or upbringing do you hope Hudson shares or you hope to pass down to him?

KATHLEEN BARNES | Yes! Mississippi is the hospitality state, and it’s absolutely true. Even those who don’t have much are still generous with what they have. That welcoming and generous spirit is what I hope we will pass down to him.

MINI | Having relocated from California to Georgia, what do you love about living back in South now, especially with a little one?

KATHLEEN BARNES | Ultimately, we had to decide what was more important to us: big picture lifestyle or day-to-day life. Big picture, California has it all— mountains, beaches, perfect weather, gorgeous views, incredible food. But day-to-day, the South has so much to offer. We can afford more space, a nicer home, a backyard, two cars with our own parking spots, a laundry room and pantry, the ability to hop in the car and see our extended families, welcoming arms from new friends, and endless warmth and love. Georgia felt like a strong support system for our family without sacrificing opportunities and education. As they say, it takes a village, and I think we knew in our hearts that our village was more likely to have a little Southern charm. We have never regretted moving back to the South, but I won’t deny that the West Coast will always feel like that sparkly prize out of reach. It’s straight

magical along the coast. I am heading back to California for a work trip for the first time since we moved and I truly can’t wait.

MINI | What is most important to you in raising your son?

KATHLEEN BARNES | That he feels loved and supported and respects and appreciates all people.

MINI | Has your style changed since becoming a mom?

KATHLEEN BARNES | Funnily enough, I’ve become more modest. I used to live for a crop top or denim shorts. Now I just feel so “exposed,” if I’m showing too much skin and prefer to keep it stylish in cropped jeans or midi dresses. I always think, “I’m someone’s mom now.” But truthfully, life is short. Wear the crop top. I mean, who really cares?

MINI | As the founder of Carrie Bradshaw Lied, what is the greatest lesson you’ve learned in business thus far?

KATHLEEN BARNES | It’s not over until it’s over. I try not to celebrate or count on anything until the contract is signed and the project is completed and paid. Curve balls come left, right, and center and I have learned to expect the unexpected!

MINI | Let’s end on a fun note! If you could give Hudson one piece of advice, what would it be?

KATHLEEN BARNES | I would likely stick with the advice my artist mom always gave us, “dare to be different.” Don’t be a follower. Stay true to yourself and have confidence in being unique and original. No one is you! After all, confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.