BACKROADS • JUNE 2021
Page 6
O N T H E MAR K MARK BYERS
I’m A Classic I’m not old, I’m “classic.” After 25 years, you can get historic plates for a motorcycle and I’m over double that, so I must be worthy of a special plate besides a partial from my dentist or the one holding my elbow together. The sad fact is, however, that like a similarly-aged motorcycle, not everything works quite like it used to: there are some squeaks and leaks and things that are just “NKR” - not kwite right. If you were putting an ad for me in the paper, you’d have to be pretty creative with the description to lure a prospective buyer. “Used, fairly high mileage, doesn’t look like much but still runs pretty good. Reliable and good work/commuter model suitable for fairly long road trips and/or short offroad runs. Kinda heavy, but not bad once underway. Starts reliably, but a little temperamental. Great at hauling cargo. Minor cloudiness in windshields. Likes premium fuels but fairly low maintenance otherwise. Marginal emissions control. Garage kept.” You know how it is with machines of a certain age: there are annoying little leaks at times - nothing serious, but you have to put a piece of cardboard down just to make sure we don’t leave spots. For guys or gals, there’s that little drip around the Amal carburetor that just won’t seem to go away after we’ve hit a rest stop. Sometimes, especially for the gals, a big cough or sneeze can cause a serious float bowl overflow. The intake and exhaust relationship is also potentially problematic. The fuel from that barbecue joint was good, but sometimes it can cause a serious afterburn that has the intake tract belching fire as if the carb is misadjusted. Sometimes there are “fuel additives” we can use to prevent backfiring through the carburetor, but the side effect is a tendency to then backfire through the ex-
haust, a condition that may not be appreciated by those in close proximity, especially when in an enclosed area or where the muffler isn’t very effective. Getting started can be a problem, especially on cold mornings. Sometimes a magic starting fluid from Columbia or Sumatra needs to be sprayed down the intake tract in a fairly large quantity to get the grumbling engine to respond in a more calm and energetic way. Those additives can be significantly expensive or unavailable, forcing you to seek lesser brands. Personally, I use a starting fluid comprised mainly of sweet carbon compounds with a side polymer related to a coca plant extract to get my motor going. It has the side benefit of being consistently-mixed and readily available, even from vending machines. Choice of rubber is always important. At one time, the choices were almost limitless, but older machines tend to be picky when it comes to fitments. Newer machines can run just about any treads, like sticky Dunlops - nee Nikes, but the older machines prefer Continentals - AKA New Balances. Older, stiffer suspension systems need better grip and more cushion than some of the sportier radials offer, plus style is not nearly as important to the classic machines as it is to the new models. Price can also be an issue. Whitewalls tend to be preferred. Posture is very important to classic models: what would have been an all-day position on a newer model will make a classic model need to spend a couple days on an ortho lift being realigned. Things like handlebar risers and peg lowerers and mirror extenders become de rigueur for an older machine. Beaded seats and throttle locks can make a classic more palatable to the whatever-genarian groups. Classics tend to need big windshields. Heat. Heat is good, except when it isn’t. For the most part, a classic needs to have as many heated accoutrements as it can: grips, seats, jackets, pants, socks, gloves, trusses, and a removable pad to use when in the garage for the night to stave off the effects of the posture variations discussed above. The only time more heat is undesirable is when the classic is in Arizona, where it retired, in the summertime, in which case you’re usually garaged anyway. Continued on Page 10
