BACKROADS • OCTOBER 2021
Page 38
The Law Office of Paul Gargiulo, P.C. presents
Welcome to the Jungle - The Art of Learning to Ride Skillfully A column dedicated to your riding survival
The Motorcycle Mechanic’s Secret Weapon by Frank L. Palmeri There are many reasons you might decide to do at least some of the work on your own motorcycles. Saving money and making sure the job is done right are two that quickly come to mind. Of course, you’ll need some basic tools, like micrometers, torque wrenches, multi-meters, and plenty more, to do this work. Guess what, there is one tool you need that you may not have expected to find in a motorcycle mechanic’s tool kit, and that tool is pantyhose. Don’t believe me? Read on, intrepid traveler, to find out why. Let’s say you want to do a top end job on your bike. After disconnecting the battery and removing ancillary equipment like the tank and side covers, following the instructions in your shop manual (you do have a shop manual, I hope) you remove the cylinder head, barrel, pistons, and now you’re staring at the crankcase with the connecting rods sticking out. Pro tip: save some cardboard toilet paper tubes, they are great for sticking over the connecting rods so they don’t get nicked on the case and create potentially disastrous stress risers. At this point you should cover the bottom end with a sturdy towel to keep things from falling in. Some guys even make up a plywood piece with slots for the rods and holes to fit over the case studs. Doing these things is great in a perfect world, but as we know the world is not perfect, and things will eventually fall into the bottom end of your engine. I follow a lot of the internet bike forums, and trust me, this happens a lot. If you’re lucky and the nut or bolt or whatever you dropped in the engine is magnetic, a telescoping rod magnet tool is a good way to get it out. But what if what you drop in there is not magnetic (aluminum crush washers quickly come to mind). Here is where the pantyhose come in. Take your shop vacuum, place the pantyhose over the nozzle, and hopefully you can extricate the item without sucking it into the messy vacuum. If the nozzle is too big, get some clear plastic tubing and duct tape it to the nozzle. With any luck the item will come out. Don’t try this without the pantyhose, really – you’ll never be sure if the item came out or not, and you don’t want to risk starting an engine when something extraneous might be in there. Just to let you know I’m really not being facetious here, I’ve heard of guys getting a bunch of friends together in this situation to literally turn the bike upside down and shake it until whatever fell in there just falls out. Think about it, if you can’t it out, the only alternative is to remove the engine and split the cases, which is a really big job. That pantyhose might save you from this ordeal is quite extraordinary, I think, but we’re not done with uses for it yet. Many of us keep a truck or tow vehicle around to bring home stranded motorcycles now and then. If your vehicle has v-pulleys and a belt breaks, you can actually tie pantyhose around the pulleys, and hopefully they’ll keep the water pump and alternator turning long enough to get you to a gas station or auto parts store to get a new belt. Not a bad in the field fix. Don’t know if it also works on serpentine belt pulleys, and hope never to find out. One more motorcycle related pantyhose anecdote. A long time ago “Rider” magazine printed a letter from a guy, I think his name was Mark. He said he’d been out riding, badly misjudged the weather, and was freezing his ganooties off. So he pulled into a convenience store, where he bought and put on a pair of pantyhose. “The added warmth made
the ride home a lot better,” he wrote, continuing “and the best thing is, no one has to know you have them on.” I can’t remember who the editor was at the time, but his response was classic: “We all know now, Mark.” The next time you go into the Piggly Wiggly or the Stop ‘n Shop and see a big guy with a leather jacket, chaps, and a motorcycle helmet wandering around the hosiery aisle, why don’t you offer to help him remove whatever fell into his engine, or fix his vehicle, or ask if he’s cold? I’m certain he’ll appreciate it very much. ,
