20131212 by The Badger Herald

Thursday, December 12, 2013 | Volume 45, Issue 29

THE BADGER HERALD

Jen Small, Andy Fate, Chris Lotten and Joey Reuteman

Pneumonia plagues campus during finals With 100 cases reported in past month, UHS cautions students Marvin Gutierrez Campus Editor Andy Fate The Badger Herald Alcohol-licensed businesses can give bouncers a $10 “finder’s fee” for confiscating and turning in fake identification.

Bars incentivize taking fake IDs Jamie DeGraﬀ Herald Contributor Legally, it is the bouncer’s job to confiscate fake IDs from underage patrons, but for some, there is an added monetary incentive to stop these faux 21-year-olds from getting into their bars. Madison Police Department Lt. David McCaw said

bouncers caught selling fake IDs in the city are often arrested and charged. However, others find legal incentives. To help discourage bouncers and bartenders from making an illegal profit on fake IDs, McCaw said some bars have put a $10 “finder’s fee” on any confiscated ID. This means bars may pay

bouncers $10 for every confiscated ID they hand in to management. “By state law, bouncers have the right to confiscate IDs, but are required to surrender them,” McCaw said. “Some bars do that, others don’t.” Ald. Scott Resnick, District 8,

FAKE IDs, page 3

With more than 100 cases of pneumonia reported in the last month alone, the University of Wisconsin issued a warning to its students Wednesday of an outbreak ahead of finals week. University Health Services Director Sarah Van Orman said UW has seen an increase in pneumonia cases compared to past annual records. Forty-five total cases in the fall and winter season are normal, but within the last month UHS has encountered close to 100 cases, she said. UW Health officials worked with the Wisconsin State Health

Department, and lab tests confirmed mycoplasma pneumoniae as the primary bacteria causing the outbreak, Van Orman said. The Wisconsin State Health Department also confirmed that particular bacterium was the origin of the outbreak, she said. According to Van Orman, the bacterium is common on college campuses. However, the concern lies in this year’s annual rate, which has yielded twice the amount of cases compared to before, she said. Because the organism is present, there is possibility of it spreading person-toperson, Van Orman said. Pneumonia, which is a lung infection that spreads through respiratory droplets, can include symptoms of coughing, shortness of breath and fevers that can

reach temperatures of more that 100 degrees Fahrenheit. “Colleges see a lot of outbreaks because many people gather in close settings due to classes and living arrangements,” she said. However, because this form of pneumonia is common, it can be easily treated as long as it is taken care of in its beginning stages, Van Orman said. Diagnosis is determined by a physical examination that includes a chest X-Ray and listening to the lungs. If confirmed, antibiotics, lots of rest and time are normal for treatment, the UHS web page said. Students are advised to wash their hands, sneeze into the elbow zone and stay home if they are feeling sick, Van Orman said, adding students should go to UHS if they are feeling any symptoms of pneumonia.

Tuition surcharge for undergrads covers state cuts UW initiative funds student services, new faculty for fourth year in a row Maddie Makoul Herald Contributor A tuition surcharge for an undergraduate initiative allows University of Wisconsin to provide services that state and other funding cuts would have otherwise eliminated. Nancy Westphal-Johnson, senior associate dean for

undergraduate education and academic administration in the College of Letters and Science, said Madison Initiative for Undergraduates was primarily created to provide undergraduates with more access to “bottleneck” courses and to provide more faculty to teach these courses. MIU also provides financial aid, Westphal-Johnson said. Through funding from a supplemental tuition charge, MIU funds grants and financial aid. It has added $40 million annually to UW’s budget to support

undergraduate experiences, according to a UW statement. Since 2009, MIU has allocated $50.9 million in need-based grants and as of October 2013, it awarded $20.4 million in financial aid to 6,742 students, the statement said. MIU was implemented in an extremely challenging budget time and when the freshman class was larger than ever before, placing an even greater importance on this improvement in staff and classes, Westphal-Johnson said.

“With MIU, we are able to meet the course needs of students and provide them with a richer educational experience than ever before,” Westphal-Johnson said. John Coleman, professor and political science department chair, said he has seen a number of good things come to his department due to MIU, including the ability to hire more faculty and a career adviser to work with students. It also allowed changes to be made to the political science major including a new track so students can take a more

“quantitative approach” to their studies, he said. “[MIU] gave us flexibility to do things that would have been difficult to do otherwise…with regards to advising, it gave us a service for students that I really think we are obligated to provide but hadn’t been able to before,” Coleman said. Coleman said MIU has been mainly positive as it provides more faculty, so there can be more courses that are not as overloaded as they were prior to the installation of MIU. Westphal-Johnson said

MIU provides money for these improvements through a tuition surcharge, which increases the cost of students’ tuition, though she said MIU does its best to help those who are not be able to pay the additional amount. “Certain students are not charged the surcharge given their family’s income and some other people are eligible for financial aid from the MIU based on their financial needs,” Westphal-Johnson said.

UNDERGRADS, page 3

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UW grad’s housing site finds success Founded in 2012, Abodo.com seeks simpliﬁcation of renting process Chantal Cowie Herald Contributor When recent University of Wisconsin graduate Alec Slocum had a tough time finding an apartment, he took matters into his own hands, creating a website designed to help navigate the complex process of finding student housing. Slocum, the CEO of Abodo.com and a 2010 UW graduate, launched the site in February 2012. He and his fellow UW graduate and cofounder were inspired by their desire to create an alternative to the frustrating and outdated process of searching for places to live in the upcoming school year. He said the website makes searching for and finding an apartment simple and easy by putting almost every campus apartment online in one place. He said the site provides a map of all of the available apartments around campus as well as their price range, number of bedrooms, whether the building has a laundry room or

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customers in the Madison area. The website is working with almost every major landlord in the city, he said. The company also recently received an investment of $325,000 from one of the cofounders of a similar site, Rent.com. Slocum said the company now has eight employees and its own office space by Lake Monona. He added the company has expanded the website to five additional major cities in surrounding areas including Pittsburgh, Milwaukee, Green Bay, Columbus and Minneapolis. Slocum said students who want to create their own startups should start building their company as soon as they have an idea. Slocum said the business will morph as time goes on, even if it initially may be pretty bad. “The fi rst version we launched was nasty,” Slocum said. “It took 10 seconds just to load.” Slocum said the important part of his startup process was that he and his coworkers had created something that they were able to grow and improve upon. He urged students to find friends and acquaintances that share their passion and start building.

State Street redesign reaches final stages City committee green lights plans for leaf sculpture, lights, landscape

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not, up-to-date photos and descriptions of the amenities the apartment provides. Slocum said the first year and a half after starting the company was the most difficult. He and the other two co-founders, Adam Ollen and Chad Aldous, were all employed at full-time jobs while simultaneously working on the website. It was a challenging time as the group was trying to build Abodo. com as a company while successfully establishing traction with paying customers, he said. Slocum added the co-founders also found their age to be an obstacle. Being 25 years old and trying to figure out a structure for the company and how to manage people was a major obstacle to get over, he said. Still, Slocum said finding investors and people to support him was much easier than he had anticipated it would be. “Being in a city like Madison, there are some amazing entrepreneurs who are incredibly willing to take your calls and provide their experience and help,” Slocum said. “It’s been surprising and incredibly helpful.” During 2013 alone, he estimated Abodo. com has about 25,000

Herald Contributor A city committee passed final plans for the redesign of the 700 and 800 blocks of State Street in a meeting Wednesday, approving a new Maple leaf statue, lighting options and landscaping decisions. Project Designer Jason DiPiazza presented final plans for the project to the State Street Design Project Oversight Committee, a committee created to spearhead the project. The redesign project is set to begin construction May 19, pending final approval from City Council. Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4, said the city moved the beginning of the construction, which was originally planned for April, to avoid any interference with commencement weekend. Committee Chair Ted Crabb began the meeting by reporting positive feedback from a public meeting

on the project last week and brought up the community’s key concerns. Memorial Library representatives expressed concern over limited bike rack access, Crabb said, adding representatives from St. Paul’s Catholic Church disliked being close to the food carts. Representatives from St. Paul’s also expressed concern the new trees in the redesigned 700 block of State Street would block the view of church’s mosaic from the sidewalk, which is featured at the building’s entrance, Verveer said. Verveer said this concern led to the removal of the tree in front of the church from the blueprint. Members of the committee said they did not want to reorganize their plan just so that pedestrians could have greater access to the mosaic. Crabb issued a motion to put the tree back into the plan, to which all members agreed. DiPiazza added a key aspect of the new design would be to provide “clearer sight lines to the Capitol

Building as well as Bascom Hill.” DiPiazza also said because these blocks undergoing redesign are considered part of the historical society, the plan will “not be taking anything out that is within historic borders.” He also said the plans were “striving for symmetry.” In terms of new lighting, DiPiazzo said the city is leaning toward using LED lights for the lamps, which were chosen instead of a less bright light option. The members also discussed new possibilities for bike racks and the new arrangement of food carts. In the new design, more room will be allotted for bikers, pedestrians and food carts to coexist harmoniously. The redesign will hopefully be well underway by the time school commences in the spring of 2014 and is projected to be in its final stages by the time school starts up again in September. The plans will now go to the Board of Public Works on Jan. 8, and, pending approval, on to City Council on Jan. 21.

Andy Fate The Badger Herald UW Policy and Pain Studies Group advocates for responsible use of medication.

2 percent report painkiller abuse UW group advocating for safe drug use criticized for ties with pharmaceuticals Bryan Kristensen Reporter Up to 2 percent of University of Wisconsin students have reported misusing painkillers in the past month alone, University Health Services Director Sarah Van Orman said. Nationally, deaths from drug overdoses have been steadily increasing over the years with almost 60 percent of the deaths involving pharmaceutical drugs in 2010, according to a Centers for Disease Control report. Van Orman said in recent years, there has been a rise in the number of painkillers prescribed to patients for medical reasons, and as the number of painkillers rose, so did the amount of people addicted to these medications. In addition to a spike in painkiller addictions, heroin addiction and overdoses have also experienced a sudden rise, Van Orman said. Each of these addictions were from either taking too many prescription drugs or switching from opioid pain medication to heroin once addicted to the opioid medication, she said. Painkiller and heroin overdoses are not much different and both can be extremely fatal to someone who is addicted to the drugs, Van Orman said. Mia DeFino is a cofounder with the Wisconsin Pain Coalition, a group that is working to advocate for the people of Wisconsin who suffer from chronic pain, and in particular, serious pain. She said there is a movement growing to try and find different and better ways than painkillers to treat patients with chronic pain, but in some instances, the medication is the most effective way. “There is a majority of people who use prescription pain medication responsibly, so

I think that you need to take all of this with a grain of salt,” DeFino said. DeFino said physicians must be aware of the dosage amount given to patients when prescribing opioid medication because there is always a fine line between strictly taking medication and becoming addicted. The U.S. Senate Finance Committee investigated ties between pain policy groups and painkiller makers, including UW’s Pain and Policy Studies Group. However, the group told the committee they stopped accepting money from drug companies in 2010, according to the Wisconsin State Journal. Van Orman said the Pain and Policy Study Group attempts to communicate with patients and people who use pain medication about the dangers of potentially becoming addicted to the drugs. UW sees about the same numbers of students misusing prescription pain medication to that of universities around the country, Van Orman said. “Our numbers suggest about 7 percent of students have reported misusing painkillers in the past year,” she said. Van Orman said while the number may seem small, it is in-line with the national average and is still a visible problem that needs to be resolved to keep students safe and healthy. Van Orman said students who have come forward to UHS with addictions to opioid pain medication have been given the necessary treatment and taken proper measures to address their addiction. There has not been a death related to prescription pain medication on campus, but there have been overdoses in which students have needed to be taken to the emergency room, Van Orman said.

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The Badger Herald | News | Thursday, December 12, 2013 UNDERGRADS, page 1 Coleman acknowledged that although the tuition increase is a bit of a drawback, MIU has done its best to make this increase the “least painful as possible” by implementing additional scholarships. Coleman said he believes the benefits of MIU outweigh this rise in tuition. “But in terms of our department and

programming and the kinds of things we have been able to offer students, I think it [MIU] has been a positive thing,” Coleman said. Both Westphal-Johnson and Coleman said there are no real improvements that can be made with MIU. “At this point we are really at the end of the program so it isn’t so much whether it can be improved,” Coleman said. “I think the question going forward will be how

will it be maintained?” Over time, faculty may leave for other institutions or the services provided by MIU may be somewhat outdated, Coleman said. The focus will now be on how to maintain the program and adjust it over time so that it is still serving the purpose it was set out to fulfill. “The key will be for the university to find a way for MIU to continue to evolve,” Coleman said.

Joey Reuteman The Badger Herald The Madison Initiative for Undergraduates adds $40 milllion to UW’s budget annually for undergrad experiences.

FAKE IDs, page 1 said bars are encouraged to develop a strong relationship with the police to exchange important information about trends in fake IDs. He said this also helps bouncers know what to look for when determining the validity of an ID. He said the police also look for ways to ensure they can find those who are successfully getting into bars with fake IDs. To combat the number of underage drinkers entering bars, Resnick said police have been conducting “compliance checks” around the city, especially at locations notorious for offenders being present. “The number of compliance checks have decreased in general, and particularly at bars that don’t have any issues at them,” Resnick said. McCaw said there are also systems being put in

place to prove whether bars have been effectively executing the city’s alcohol policies. One method involves exchanging IDs for “receipts.” The receipts bars receive for turning in IDs to the police serve as validation they have followed protocol, McCaw said. For underage drinkers, McCaw said police consistently respond to incidents in which patrons demand to have their confiscated IDs returned. In those situations, McCaw said the suspect is usually given a chance to walk away if he or she chooses to, but risk prosecution if the suspect claims an identification card that is later proven to be fake. “Ninety-five percent of the time, I ended up writing a bunch of tickets to a kid who wanted their fake ID back and continued to force his bluff,” he said. To help ensure execution

of the city’s alcohol policies, Resnick said there are different training sessions required by the city for liquor establishments. These courses include teaching bartenders and bouncers the proper rules and regulations for handling intoxicated patrons, he said. When it comes to establishing the ideal alcohol-related environment, Resnick believes the city’s current policies “always have room for improvement.” He said some ideas he had were to avoid mechanisms such as ID scanners to better utilize resources and to ensure those who need help during alcoholrelated emergencies feel comfortable contacting authorities without the fear of consequences for being under the influence. “There’s no reason to cause panic among students if it’s not without warrant,” Resnick said.

OPINION

Editorial Page Editors Charles Godfrey & Joe Timmerman oped@badgerherald.com

4 | The Badger Herald | Opinion | Thursday, December 12, 2013

Here’s to the non sequitur sculptures, misunderstood snugglers and loathsome tweeters that made this semester worth remembering.

Union commits WisconSIN Once upon a time, an entrepreneurial group of University of Wisconsin students gathered regularly in the basement of a YMCA not far from campus to decompress after class while playing pool and cards. Eventually these students got kicked out of the YMCA for, among other things, smoking cigars.

Not long after, UW President Charles Van Hise called for a building that would provide for “the communal life of instructors and students in work, in play, and in social relations.” The result was the Wisconsin Union. Today’s Wisconsin Union bears little resemblance to the building described by Van Hise. The new Union

South is shiny, but not very useful for students – although it’s probably useful for generating revenue from alumni and recruiting high school seniors. Now, the face of the Memorial Union is rapidly changing, and not necessarily for the better. Today, Der Rathskeller can hardly be called a cafeteria for students, and the

building is ensconced in what seems to be perpetual construction. The worst part is the Union used to be a place where students could drink decent beer by the lake for a reasonable price. These days, you’d be just as well off going to a bar, and, at this rate, Terrace beer will be cost prohibitive within our lifetime.

Putting up the wrong numbers Every year, angry alumni and parents get on UW’s case about the profanity they hear at football games. Something about being told to eat shit doesn’t sit well with these people. At this point, it seems unlikely that the university can put an end to the vulgar chants of the UW student section. And to be honest, when it comes to UW football

Courtesy of Core Campus “The Hub,” an appartment complex under construction on State Street.

$$$$$$$$$$$$ Fancy student high rises are taking over the downtown area. In the past year, we saw University Ave’s X01 and West Dayton Street’s Vantage Point go up, and three more large developments are on the horizon. A 12-story monument to high maintenance student excess called “The Hub” will be built where the hole in the ground on the 500 block of State Street is growing. A six-story apartment complex is slated to go up where the Stadium Bar once was.

And another 12-story Goliath ominously called “Domain” is going to be at the corner of Johnson and Broom Streets by August of next year. Also, we can’t forget that expensive Waterfront Apartment building that keeps reminding us of how its HEATED ROOFTOP POOL HAS BEEN APPROVED!! Madison is experiencing a trend toward expensive housing options with absurd amenities, and we’re concerned this influx of high-end housing will leave less wealthy students out in the cold.

games, there are much bigger fish to fry. Case in point, the astronomical blood alcohol concentrations that UW fans recorded this fall. The Badger football team did pretty well on the field, but students were also putting up impressive numbers on the Breathalyzer. One fan was so plastered he forgot to take off his pants while streaking.

Intoxication at Badger games was representative of an alarming incidence of binge drinking that swept campus this semester. During the weekend of Freakfest, police officers found two students lying unconscious on University Avenue. Both students were found vomiting and alone, with blood alcohol contents greater than .35. The discovery of a UW

student passed out and dangerously intoxicated has become an all too frequent occurrence. There is nothing wrong with a rowdy game day, but near fatal alcohol poisoning is no laughing matter. Besides, what’s the point of going to a football game that intoxicated? At that point, you may as well be watching the game on your couch at home.

Canada called, it wants its leaf back City oﬃcials and residents have expressed concern over State Street and Library Mall’s redevelopment, including food carts, landscaping and biking. But our biggest concern is the giant, 12-feethigh and 30-feet-wide and

long stainless steel maple leaf that will likely be erected in the process. Looking at the rendering, one begins to wonder… why? No offense to the artist, who seems to be skilled and have good intentions, but what the

fuck? We’re not sure if this is some sort of tribute to Canada or nature or something but we can’t see the signiﬁcance of maple leaves to the Madison community. City oﬃcials have

discussed adding a “festive” spattering of colored LED lights to the enormous leaf. Maybe next they’ll make it play Christmas music year-round—or better yet, a rendition of “O Canada.” Sorry, City of Madison, this is pretty weird.

Snuggle House: a beautiful idea ahead of its time Snuggle House, we hardly knew ye. Blanketed in charges that an earnest attempt to bring more touchy-feely love into the world would give way to prostitution,

The Snuggle House closed its doors, and Madisonians are left once again to seek their snuggles on the open market. With city regulators breathing down the

snugglers’ necks (and Facebook “haters” harshing their mellow), the business succumbed to cold pricklies after only 22 days. Perhaps if the community had embraced

the business fully, the controversial house of cuddles may not have met its untimely end. Instead of cozying up to the city, The Snuggle House embarked on a

quest to bring more warm feelings and platonic friendship into the world—a valiant, if illfated, mission. It’s disheartening to see the news-making oddity

go under (the covers), but we’re conﬁdent another enterprising business will rise to take its place. After all, when cuddling is outlawed, only the outlaws will cuddle.

Worst person on campus “Worst/funniest pick up line I’ve ever heard: ‘How do I know we’re having sex later tonight? I’m stronger than you.’” — @dhookstead Everyone fucks up occasionally. Sometimes we say things that are illadvised, offensive or just plain stupid. But then, realizing the error of our ways, we apologize and resolve to do better. David Hookstead is no ordinary asshole. After The Badger Herald published his musings on rape culture, the campus

vehemently responded to condemn Hookstead’s victimblaming misogyny. Many of our own writers, students across campus and alumni penned letters opposing his unrepentant ignorance. But even in the face of nearly universal condemnation, Hookstead was unyielding. He fought going down on both his personal and the UW

Confessions social media accounts. Normally, this board could applaud such dogmatic adherence to one’s personal beliefs—but there comes a time to admit your opinion isn’t just unpopular, it’s plain wrong. We don’t envy your potential future employers’ faces when they Google your name.

A platform of ham and rolls Gov. Scott Walker has been keeping busy over the last few months not running for president. Between writing a book, touring the country and making the Sunday morning talk

show rounds, how could he possibly have time to govern the state, to say nothing of running for president? Besides, even if Walker were contemplating a presidential run, would he

Charles Godfrey, Editorial Page Editor

really do something that might take away from his “hot ham and rolls” time? We think not. Unless, of course, he was campaigning on a platform of hot ham and rolls.

Joe Timmerman, Editorial Page Content Editor

Claire Larkins The Badger Herald Representative of the state of UW Rec Sports facilities, the Shell still has lead paint in its ventilation system.

The walls came crumbling down This campus is not exactly known for its stellar ﬁtness facilities. In fact, according to a report from UW Rec Sports, UW has less than one-third of the total ﬁtness space of Ohio State University and less than half that of the University of Minnesota. I mean, come on. Minnesota? Really?

Not only is UW lacking in total ﬁtness space, but the facilities themselves are quite literally falling apart. The Shell has lead paint on the walls and in the ventilation system, and had a pipe burst and ﬂood the entire facility. The South East Recreational Facility is in serious need of

Katie Caron, Managing Editor

roof repairs and the Natatorium is in danger of having its roof collapse. Many of us already struggle to ﬁnd motivation to exercise, and the sorry state of this university’s recreational facilities does not provide an incentive to work out. If anything, it deters students from going to the gym.

Katherine Krueger, Editorial-in-Chief

Editorial Board opinions are crafted independently of news coverage. Your Opinion - Send your letters to the editor and guest columns to oped@badgerherald.com oped@badgerherald.com.. Publication is based on space and takes into account relevance and quality. Letters should be sent exclusively to the Herald. Unsigned letters will not be published. All submissions may be edited by the Herald for length and style. Reader feedback on all articles and columns can be posted at badgerherald.com badgerherald.com,, where all print content is archived.

The Badger Herald | Opinion | Thursday, December 12, 2013

Forward: Herald’s future inspires optimism Katherine Krueger Editor-in-chief I’m not an optimistic person by nature. Any Herald staffer that’s worked with me knows the most I’ll volunteer on a typical late night production shift is that I’m “cautiously optimistic” when things are running

smoothly. But after this staff managed to not just weather the shifting tides of student journalism, but to thrive under a new model for production and coverage, I can conﬁdently say the change has been for the better. This semester, as we moved to digitalﬁrst publication while shifting the focus of our print editions to be more engaging and studentfriendly, neither of our products have ever been stronger.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1,000 times: The Herald is the ultimate student-run experiment, a testing ground for the next generation of leaders in journalism and any number of related ﬁelds. Agility is in our blood. We will always change to meet the needs of our readers while providing unparalleled experiences for our student employees. And after a semester’s worth of changes, we’re gearing up to launch our next innovation: expanding our operations to include parallel staﬃng structures

for both print and online production. This means you’ll see more features, long form pieces and photo projects in the papers produced by our print team, all while our digital team produces robust, 24-hour online coverage. It’ll give us the chance to bring even more students into the Herald family, provide avenues for new types of content and allow us to keep doing what we do best, even better. Don’t worry, haters: You’re not rid of me just yet. Continuing on our

management team for next semester is Katie Caron, who will lend her editing chops in her role as print managing editor and champion the “slow news” cycle. We’ll be joined by Will Haynes, a dyed in the wool Heralder with a sharp eye for web-native content, as our digital managing editor. It’s a team I know will continue to build the Herald’s strong tradition of rabble-rousing while bringing cool, new things to our readership. There’s a lot in the works--we’ll keep you

posted about the projects we’re excited about at experiment.badgerherald. com, a new web space for talking about what’s working, what’s not and what’s next for the Herald. If you’re looking to write, report, design, code or take photos, make sure you get in touch. Hauling my freshman self to a new member meeting four years ago was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and one I’d urge you to consider. It’s enough to bring out the optimist in me.

Happy holidays, farewell from the opinion desk Well, ﬁnals are here, we have a beautiful dusting of snow and everybody has pneumonia. On the bright side of things, winter break is fast approaching and two weeks from now, we’ll all be laughing about this week’s trials and tribulations. Maybe over a cup of hot chocolate. Or cider. Or egg nog – or whatever beverage you enjoy when it’s cold outside. On another sad note, we will not be editing the editorial page next semester. It’s been a delightful and eventful

Charles Godfrey Editorial Page Editor

Joe Timmerman Editorial Page Editor

fall at the opinion desk. We enjoyed the hell out of it and we have you – our readers – to thank for that. There’s been no shortage of lively (and sometimes heated) discussion on the page. We’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading all your letters – there were weeks it seemed like our inbox was bursting at the seams, but this is a good problem to have. The goal of the opinion section is to create a marketplace of ideas, and it has certainly achieved this goal. There’s been a lot

of change in the way opinion things (a technical term) happen since we turned up at the Herald doorstep as a couple of punk, argumentative kids with naivety to spare. For instance, when we started editing opinion columns, The Badger Herald operated out of an oﬃce that will almost surely be condemned by the time you read this, but nonetheless possessed a certain bohemian charm. On a more serious note, last September we were entirely focused on producing a print

newspaper each and every night – this led to a more fast-paced production cycle in which the bottom line was moving content onto pages. Now, printing twice a week and placing an emphasis on online content, we are able to spend more time thinking about long term projects. We publish things when they are ready to be published. Now, it is time for us to part ways with the page, and we are excited to hand off the section to a well-qualiﬁed team of editorial page editors.

Expect to hear more from them this coming January. We have full conﬁdence that they will steer the page in promising directions and explore new frontiers. For the time being, good luck with ﬁnals, stay warm and as always, if you have something to say, send it our way. Charles Godfrey (cgodfrey@badgerherald. com) and Joe Timmerman (jtimmerman@ badgerherald.com) are departing Editorial Page Editors.

President Barack Obama’s foreign policy legacy College Republicans What is a leader? To some, a leader is defined as someone who is able to facilitate positive change in those surrounding him or her. By this definition, many of our so called leaders fail miserably. Among the worst of these failures sits our current President Barack Obama. In addition to his terrible domestic failures, Obama has experienced many other failures in his policies abroad. Without a doubt, these failures in foreign policies will not lead to a legacy of international leadership and positive change abroad, but one of constant disappointment, defeat and missteps. The most significant defeat of Obama’s foreign policy deals with the Middle East and Al Qaeda extremist groups. Even though Obama told us in a speech last spring that the war against terrorism is over, Al Qaeda has been making an alarming comeback in many regions. For example, after our troops were pulled out of Iraq, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, a radical Al Qaeda sect, began establishing itself within the weakened country. This

group of extremists has claimed responsibility for many attacks carried out this year in Iraq, killing nearly 6,200 people. Similar resurgences of Al Qaeda have been found in Syria as well. In fact, some have even suggested that the Al Qaeda forces in this region may be as large as 12,000. As a result, Ayman al-Zawahri, a prominent member of Al Qaeda, even called Syria a promising staging ground for future attacks. Likewise in parts of Africa, Al Qaeda is growing as well. Due to a weak central government, Libya and Nigeria are beginning to fall under the control of these terrorist regimes. However, this pales in comparison to Yemen, where 56 people were killed as a result of a terrorist attack last Thursday. It almost seems like President Obama and his failed leadership is giving Al Qaeda a free pass, and it may cost Americans their safety. Allowing terrorist sects new safe havens is one thing, but directly contributing to their development of a weapon is another. Recently,

Obama proposed a deal in which Iran would stop the development of its nuclear program in exchange for the easing of sanctions placed on them. However, many agree that this relief would backﬁre, and it would allow Iran to develop a nuclear weapon with ease and put Israel in the crosshairs. Obama defended this deal by saying, “We have to not constantly assume that it’s not possible for Iran, like any country, to change over time.” Is he really that naïve? While I’m not against giving people second chances, I’m not willing to go hand a weapon of mass destruction to those who wanted me to die yesterday. This absurd plan has drawn opposition from both parties for obvious reasons and it is just another example of poor leadership. Looking back at the deﬁnition of a leader which I outlined earlier, one can easily see that Obama will not go down in history a strong leader abroad. Rather, he might go down in history as the president who gave Al Qaeda a free pass and who nearly handed Iran a nuclear weapon.

College Democrats Just more than four years ago, Americans saw no end to the ongoing wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Thousands of troops remained abroad, although former President George W. Bush had already declared, “Mission Accomplished.” In the last four years, President Barack Obama has solidiﬁed his role on the international stage as hard on terror, while maintaining a more logical and diplomatic approach. Under Obama’s leadership, Osama Bin Laden, the mastermind of the September 11 attacks and the man who is responsible for the loss of thousands of American lives, was removed as a threat to our peace and security. In addition, troops are ﬁnally coming home to their families and friends. During the Obama administration, we saw the historic end to the decade-long war in Iraq that took the lives of many American troops. This change in policy has afforded us much more regional strength and security. Republicans

often claim Obama is bad for our strongest ally in the Middle East, Israel. In actuality, under Obama, we’ve seen more military assistance for the Iron Dome, a project that saves hundreds of Israeli lives, continued $3.1 billion in foreign aid to Israel annually and the toughest sanctions on the Iranian regime, which eventually led to Iran’s participation in international negotiations to reach an agreement on its nuclear program. This combination of crippling sanctions and open negotiations shows Obama’s strategic, logical and secure approach to the Middle East — an approach that began the process of reversing the harmful trends begun by the Bush administration. Obama has proved that his policy of diplomacy as an alternative to military action is both effective and operational. Let’s compare the situation in Iraq under former President Bush to that of Iran under Obama. Throughout Bush’s

administration, we saw a lack of support from the international community, as well as a stark lack of diplomatic efforts. During the Obama administration, however, we have seen the combination of tough sanctions and open diplomacy. These have allowed for the possibility of denuclearization, rather than a decade-long war which neither results in the strengthening of American security nor stabilizing relations in the Middle East. Obama exempliﬁes diplomacy as a viable opportunity to military action. He brought Iran to the negotiating table with debilitating sanctions, while still maintaining that all options are on the table except containment, regarding Iran’s nuclear program. Obama’s wide variety of policies have yielded more results in the form of more longlasting and peaceful relationships with the international community, a safer America and a more secure global community.

Commercialization threatens sanctity of marriage Briana Reilly Columnist Many of you may not be aware, but as of now, we are almost one-third of the way through of what has been termed “engagement season,” the period of time between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day characterized by an inﬂux of commercials commanding viewers to buy that $3,000 diamond ring for the future spouse. (It’s not just a wedding band, but also a symbol of an undying commitment that will additionally guarantee the happy couple a happy future and essentially eternal life together.) This time period, much like deer hunting season, is all about bagging the right game, then promptly and proudly

displaying one’s catch — usually done via Facebook post — to the world. My general feelings toward this time of the year are effectively summed up in one photo, which was posted to Reddit. This picture was reportedly taken at the University of Tennessee, and since its posting Saturday, has attracted the attention of not only Reddit users but also major news sources. Although most commenters of the picture have chosen to focus on the young woman in the far left corner, who is clearly fed up with the whirlwind of engagement excitement, let’s think about the bridesto-be that are depicted in the photo and take some time to lament what was once actually a meaningful institution. It’s all too

likely that these engaged girls will eventually put an end to their marriages. According to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States get divorced. It also seems that couples nowadays (especially the horrid “bridezillas”) are more obsessed with the engagement process — planning a wedding, compartmentalizing friends and acquaintances as guests or not guests, uploading and otherwise providing regular visual pre-wedding updates to social media — and essentially just getting a ring before spring, rather than working to ensure that the marriage itself will be a lasting one. The sanctity of marriage has been undermined

relentlessly over the past few decades, and although the excitement of the future brides is not unwarranted, it’s rather unnatural that it’s almost truly uninhibited. Fascinatingly enough, according to a Pew Reasearch survey in 2010, nearly four in 10 Americans say marriage is becoming obsolete. While married life continues to be cut short in untimely ways and people in general are just losing faith in the institution, marriages themselves paradoxically overall still generate an extravagant response socially. But there’s hope! When looking at this topic further from a college student’s perspective, one can easily identify the beneﬁts higher education has on marriages and all things

associated with marriage. According to Harvard Magazine, matrimonial and childbearing practices are both changing in the United States. For example, now 57 percent of women with up to a high school degree are unmarried when they have their first child. Furthermore, collegeeducated women don’t have to worry so much about what has popularly been dubbed being “forever alone.” By age 30, in fact, women with a college degree are significantly more likely to be married than any other group. There are clearly some conflicting ideas present in all of society regarding the topic of matrimony. Although the institution is clearly persisting through a variety of challenges and the changing societal

trends, it has undoubtedly been weakened. This makes the prospect of engagement season somewhat comical and not just extremely irritating, as demonstrated by the young woman in the image mentioned above. Clearly, the picture has a variety of implications, not necessarily intended by those pictured. The woman whose gesture in the picture that has caught national attention was probably more on the wavelength of Leslie Knope of “Parks and Recreation,” who observed in one episode: “Every time a couple gets married, two single people die.” Briana Reilly (reillybrianar@gmail.com) is a freshman intending to major in journalism and international studies.

ARTS

ArtsEtc. Editor Erik Sateren arts@badgerherald.com

6 | The Badger Herald | Arts | Thursday, December 12, 2013

#2013, BITCH

Miley, meth, leather, crack mayors: winners of 2013 In year of highs, lows, mayor has plenty to munch, Cyrus twerks it big Katherine Krueger Editor-in-Chief From the highs to the cringe-inducing lows, 2013 was a great year for pop cultural controversies. From Lena Dunham’s boobs stealing the show on “Girls” to Kanye West and Kim Kardashian uniting in a very literal way in the recentlyreleased “Bound 2” music video, we were there for it all. Although there are plenty of 2013 cultural tropes I

hope are washed away with the champagne of the New Year—white people saying “turn down for what” among them—there was a lot to love this year. Here are the biggest pop culture winners of 2013: Miley Cyrus Obviously. With her Video Music Awards gyrating, cultural misappropriating and twerking, Miley was inescapable this year. Entertainment reporters were likely hired solely to cover the news cycles she created in her wake: Miley just demanded attention. With a tongue that launched 1,000 thinkpieces, Miley inspired plenty of hand-wringing with her

antics, while, in reality, the narrative of a child star getting down and dirty to shed her Disney sheen is nothing new (indeed, at least we didn’t end up with a sex tape from this one). Here’s to hoping that 2014 ushers in more of Miley just bein’ Miley without objectifying her black, female back-up dancers or misguidedly trying to make “ratchet” a fashion statement. “Breaking Bad” fans There was never a better time to be a fan of the methslinging chemistry teacher with a nasty streak than 2013. Even as the show came to a satisfying, almost poetic close, fans waved their “Breaking Bad” flags for all they were

worth as millions tuned in each Sunday to follow Walter White and Jesse Pinkman’s small peanuts RV cooks escalate into a drug empire. As the fever pitch reached an all-time high, fans took it upon themselves to [SPOILER ALERT!] eulogize White with funeral ceremonies and printed obituaries across the country—a sign of how ingrained in the cultural fabric the show had become. Resolution for 2014: Let it go. It’s over. Leather fetishists In terms of both fashion and breathability, leather was so hott this year. It was in patches on T-shirts and accessories. Leather pants, leather tops

and all leather dresses were ushered back into the mainstream, allowing leather lovers to finally have their time in the sun. Yes, 2013 was a great year to be into leather. Here’s to hoping we won’t see the end of this PETA-condemned trend in the year to come. Rob Ford One year, or even six months, ago, no one knew who the mayor of Toronto was, and no one cared. But over the last several weeks, Ford has quickly become one of the most famous politicians not only on the North American continent but across the globe for his (apparent) crack smoking and hyper-publicized public

relations gaffes. Although the Toronto City Council voted to strip Ford of some of his mayoral powers, Ford made it clear that he’s not going anywhere. And, for the most part, he’s weathered the storm exceedingly well. His approval ratings are holding steady. Really, Ford wins the entire year for this exchange responding to one of the latest allegations alone: “…It says that I wanted to eat her pussy…I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.” PEOPLE OF TORONTO, YOUR MAYOR IS GETTING PLENTY AT HOME. MOVE ALONG, THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

The Badger Herald | Arts | Thursday, December 12, 2013

THE BEST ALBUMS OF 2013... ArtsEtc. Editor ERIK SATEREN

Editor-In-Chief

KATHERINE KRUEGER

Managing Editor

KATIE CARON

News Editor

TARA GOLSHAN

MBV

YEEZUS

SETTLE

REFLEKTOR

My Bloody Valentine

Kanye West

Disclosure

Arcade Fire

So this is what 22 years of silence sounds like: one of the heaviest albums of 2013. In February, My Bloody Valentine shocked the music world when it announced, seemingly out of the blue, that it had a new album. The nine-song collection hit the Internet, briefly crashed the band’s website and soon the opening chords of “She Found Now” poured through listeners’ headphones like syrup. It felt good. The shoegaze pioneers changed nothing about the shoegaze sound they helped pioneer and arguably perfected on their monumental and flawless 1991 LP Loveless. Like that album, m b v creates walls of sound with tremolo-tinged guitars and hushed, unintelligible vocals. What results is a perfect mix of the distorted and the delicate. With m b v, My Bloody Valentine sculpts beauty from walls of harsh noise; what results is a brand of sonic existentialism that only Kevin Shields could have conjured up. From the stuttering dial-up tones of “Only Tomorrow” to the oscillating guitars of “New You” to the vacuum cleaner sounds of “Wonder 2,” the sonic exploration on m b v is unparalleled. Many bands have tried to sound like My Bloody Valentine. With their comeback album, they’ve proved they do it best.

Could there be any other? It’s been a big year for Kanye. Between the now infamous New York Times interview, his union with Kim Kardashian and his various public feuds, it’s easy to let his larger-than-life public profile overshadow the music. But on Yeezus, Kanye reminds us why he reigns supreme as one of the most interesting and forward-thinking artists of our time. One high point: “Blood on the Leaves” gave us the best sample of 2013 (of Nina Simone’s “Strange Fruit”). Even with yet another Album of the Year snub from the Grammy Awards, Yeezus has been readily absorbed into our shared cultural ethos. Who else could make “Hurry up with my damn croissants” a thing and, one track later, make a socially cogent point by reminding listeners that HIS mama was “raised in an era when / clean water was only served to the fairer skin.” While the album does little to ground Kanye as a mere mortal—after all, the only featured artist credited on the album is God himself on “I Am a God”—why should it? Alongside its contemporaries, Yeezus sounds like the product of a god among men. All hail.

Seamlessly blending vocal samples, groovy beats and catchy hooks, Disclosure’s Settle is one of the freshest releases in electronic music in a while. The British duo, comprised of brothers Guy and Howard Lawrence, put out a debut that obviously calls on traditions of UK garage— hi-hats, intricate percussion, R&B influences and danceable four-on-the-floor beats. But with dub/brostep taking a seat on the electronic music bench and weird country/folk/EDM things happening to our ears in 2013, this album was a much-needed breath of fresh air. At times soulful and vulnerable, as on skittering standout “Latch,” and at other times purely sexy, as on the grungy-but-shimmering “White Noise” or hit earworm “When A Fire Starts To Burn,” the album injects a range of vibes into tracks while still maintaining a polished continuity. With a smoothness and aesthetic that sits somewhere between playful and mature, Settle is a refreshing and highly danceable pop record. Whether you’re listening to it all the way through to get some head bobs going while studying for finals or you’re playing tracks on the weekend to get a room sweating, Disclosure’s debut is worth settling in to.

There is something so beautifully unbeautiful about Arcade Fire’s 2013 epic Reflektor. It’s cacophonous at times, melodious at others, invigorating, emotional, disco and persisting. It has the ability to completely and utterly transcend sound, yet make you think of every single instrument used and note played. The album incites feeling—whether of joy, anger or deep sadness—in its standing as a poignant piece of musical art. On the title track, frontman Win Butler’s chilling duet with band co-founder and wife Régine Chassagne pairs with the piece’s dark dance pop, piano riffs and beating drums to perfectly set the scene for the album’s grand storytelling and evolution. For some, it strayed too far away from the band’s previous sound, but as a standalone piece, the album has a logical progression, with context and influences behind every rhythm. With Caribbean drum backdrops on the album’s title track and “Here Comes the Night Time,” the album tells Haitian-inspired story, but with a twist. The sound is a clear nod to producer James Murphy’s style. At times, you can hear the ghosts of Arcade Fire’s previous albums and at other times the sounds of LCD Soundsystem. In the year 2013, this musical cherrypicking was the norm; Arcade Fire did it best.

RUNNER-UPS

2. YEEZUS by Kanye West 3. FADE by Yo La Tengo 4. MODERN VAMPIRES OF THE CITY by Vampire Weekend 5. OVERGROWN by James Blake

2. ACID RAP by Chance the Rapper 3. DAYS ARE GONE by Haim 4. DORIS by Earl Sweatshirt 5. FIDLAR by FIDLAR

2. YEEZUS by Kanye West 3. OVERGROWN by James Blake 4. THE BONES OF WHAT YOU BELIEVE by CHVRCHES 5. WAKIN ON A PRETTY DAZE by Kurt Vile

2. PURE HEROINE by Lorde 3. BANKRUPT! by Phoenix 4. DAYS ARE GONE by Haim 5. HOLY FIRE by Foals

...AND THE BEST MOVIES OF 2013 ArtsEtc. Editor ERIK SATEREN

Editor-In-Chief

KATHERINE KRUEGER

Managing Editor

KATIE CARON

News Editor

TARA GOLSHAN

SPRING BREAKERS

BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR

FRANCES HA

IN THE HOUSE

If Terrence Malick were told to direct a MTV spring break special, “Spring Breakers” is what he would create. What on the surface appears to be a sleazy, teen exploitation fare turned out to be a searing meditation on identity, gender and race— and how these things influence the behavior of emotionally unstable young adults. Directed by the polarizing Harmony Korine, “Spring Breakers” is one of the finest films of the decade, and it’s also one of the most beautiful. Each frame is painted in a fluorescent, multi-colored glow. These shots meld together into, essentially, a 93-minute montage — one part rap music video, one part Stan Brakhage film. This is experimental filmmaking in the most mainstream of environments. “Spring Breakers” is a much more mature and philosophical film than the general public gives it credit for. Like the Skrillex jams and gunshots that make up the backbone of its soundtrack, the film is nothing short of exhilarating. SPRANG BREAAAAK, FOREVER.

It’s rare to find a film that deals with sexuality in such a deft and nuanced way as the surprising and bittersweet “Blue is the Warmest Color,” which captivated audiences and won the coveted Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival. As much a coming of age tale as a social commentary, the film captures the vulnerability of losing yourself to that first, allencompassing love — and the way you are transformed as that love blossoms. Beautifully constructed, the film ebbs and flows as naïve Adele is transformed from a young girl consuming everything ravenously, as much as she can get at a time, to a woman consumed by her desires and wavering commitments. And yes, the film is sexually charged. Slapped with an NC-17 rating for a seven-minute-long sex scene between the two young lesbian lovers, the film has been surrounded by controversy, particularly stateside. But electrifying performances from the two female leads, coupled with the raw emotional appeal of the story, lays even the most hardened viewer bare by its close.

In “Frances Ha,” we watch star Greta Gerwig’s oddball Frances struggling to make it in New York as an aspiring dancer five years removed from college. She’s painfully awkward, earnest and free-spirited, bumbling through life as a purpose-seeking 27-year-old with no real job, no apartment and only one best friend. It’s the movie’s focus on Frances’ quirky bond with BFF Sophie that drives the plot along as Frances stagnates while Sophie finds success in her career and with love. Shot in black and white, the film feels and looks a whole lot like Woody Allen’s “Manhattan,” and is a clear nod to Godard with a sizeable dash of mumblecore tossed in. “Frances Ha” finds a charming realism in its smaller moments. It’s refreshing to see a young woman’s journey that isn’t focused on romance or any “quest for love.” The only love story is that of Frances and Sophie, and it’s one that feels real in all of its angsty ups and downs.

A young, talented high school boy coming of age meets a woefully self-absorbed literature professor living through the creativity of his pupil. A middle-class family, with a son struggling in school, a father in a job he hates and a mother who wishes to be anything but the housewife she is. These things make up “In the House.” “In the House” is a story of regret, of desire and of imagination. It dances the line between ambition and obsession, maturity in the young and immaturity in the old, the eerie intrigue of voyeurism and the consequences of naïve actions. This French film from director François Ozon — featuring English-French actress Kristin Scott Thomas and French actors Ernst Umhauer and Fabrice Luchini — is the perfect marriage of dark humor, introspection, retrospection and the Peeping Tom. It’s the happy-sad ending that leaves you both satisfied and wanting to know what happens. It’s French, but in the perfect way.

RUNNER-UPS 2. THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES 3. FRANCES HA

RUNNER-UPS 2. FRANCES HA 3. SPRING BREAKERS

RUNNER-UPS 2. SPRING BREAKERS 3. THE BLING RING

RUNNER-UPS 2. FRANCES HA 3. WHAT MAISIE KNEW

Top 5 shows to binge-watch over winter break Emily Kingman TV Columnist The holiday season is filled with different traditions. While only some of us set up nativity scenes on our front lawns, nearly all of us set up scenes of naïveté on our kitchen counters. Our ovens bear witness to the hours that we spend preparing trademark desserts, promising ourselves that we’ll have only a bite when they’re finished; yet our couches testify to the minutes that we spend shortly thereafter, finishing the tin and licking the pan. Although we usually dread the inevitability of this sequence of events, I propose that we take a different perspective this year. Let’s pull out the fat pants and give it all a pass. What’s more, when presented with the season’s “binge-worthy” treats, let’s indulge in the best way

possible and complement it with television programming. This way, the feast will be evenly distributed between the senses. Below, I’ve provided a list of my top five favorite treat-and-show combinations for your enjoyment (in no specific order). Arrested Development Eggnog and “Arrested Development” are a natural combination. If the former is thick and creamy, then the latter’s presentation of the Bluth family’s thickheaded antics is cream-of-the crop comedy. Both can be a bit boozy, too, and it’s easy to get hooked. From the didactic thrill of learning “There’s always money in the banana stand” to the cringe-inducing shock of seeing a “never nude” in his jean-shorted-flesh, there’s always something to be learned from Michael (Jason Bateman, “Identity Thief”) and crew. Just remember: “Steve

Holt!” All four seasons of “Arrested Development” are available for instant streaming on Netflix. Downton Abbey Sugarplums are dried fruits, rolled in granulated sugar, and they find their match in the Dowager Countess of “Downton Abbey” (played by Dame Maggie Smith, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”), whose sweet-coated epigrams give viewers something to chew on. The uber-popular period drama tracks the going-ons of the Crawley/Grantham family at its country estate, starting in early 1912. There are pretty costumes and set locations, but at its heart, “Downton Abbey” is a preserved reminder of beautiful and troubled eras gone by. Series four returns to PBS on Sundays in January at 7 p.m. and all three previous series are available for viewing on Netflix.

Game of Thrones “Winter is coming” on HBO’s megahit “Game of Thrones,” making it the perfect complement to the cool, refreshing taste of candy canes. Adapted from a series of epic fantasy novels by George R. R. Martin, the show follows a rotation of characters from different noble houses as a decade-long summer comes to an end and a civil war erupts for the Iron Throne of the Seven Kingdoms. The series favorite, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke), is a feisty-cool mother of dragons. Among the other figures, none is more polarizing than Joffrey Baratheon (Jack Gleeson), a teenage terror whose aptitude for cruel and unusual punishment knows no bounds. Kids these days... The show’s first and second seasons are available for viewing on iTunes. The Good Wife

Gingerbread’s spice pairs well with “The Good Wife.” After all, the lawyers at Lockhart and Gardner build defenses as sturdy as gumdroplined houses and they take to biting off people’s heads like children sifting through cookie tins for cutout men. The show begins after a political scandal, when “The Good Wife” (Julianna Margulies, “Stand Up Guys”) discovers alongside the national press that her State’s Attorney husband (Chris Noth, “Lovelace”) has been fooling around with prostitutes and it follows her as she returns to work as a first year associate at a well-connected Chicago firm. There’s something for everyone—crisp dialogue, buttered deals, sugary facades. The fifth season of “The Good Wife” will return to CBS Sundays in January at 9 p.m. and its previous seasons are available for viewing on iTunes.

Duck Dynasty Simply put, fruitcake has no better complement than “Duck Dynasty.” Both are odd, fruity and more than a little dense. The reality show follows the lives of the Robertson family, whose wealth can be attributed to their familyoperated business (Duck Commander) that specializes in manufacturing duck calls. In any given episode, CEO Willie Robertson attempts to provide insight into seemingly nonsensical events on the Louisiana bayou. They discuss “the bowels of bachelorhood” and “hoarding mustard,” all while sporting big beards and camouflage galore. Beyond the nutty exterior, however, is a sweet family. The fourth season of “Duck Dynasty” is currently airing on A&E, Wednesdays at 9 p.m., and previous seasons of the show are available for purchase on DVD.

The Badger Herald | News | Thursday, December 12, 2013

Students, UW see impact of federal shutdown The University of Wisconsin campus fell into “limbo” after the federal government shutdown, which lasted 16 days in October, five days shorter than the shutdown in 1996. UW professors and researchers scrambled as their grants and partnerships with government-funded institutes, like the National Institutes of Health, were at a standstill while Congressional representatives attempted to sort out a deal. “There are some assistant professors

who are submitting grants for the first time, and I feel bad for them since they don’t know what’s going to happen and they just started their labs,” UW biochemistry professor Laura Kiessling said.In light of uncertainty regarding federal research dollars, $142 million was left undocumented in an audit report from the UW System. UW spokesperson David Giroux said the funds were largely kept in case extra research dollars were needed for schools in the system.

Students planning on studying abroad in the spring also had less time to submit visas and necessary documents, similar to the 1996 shutdown where 20,000 to 30,000 visa applications went unprocessed everyday according to the U.S. Department of State. However, student financial aid was largely unaffected due to earlier deadlines and 90 percent of financial aid being already submitted, Susan Fisher, UW financial aid director, said.

Rec Sports proposes updates to campus facilities In an effort to address the quality and space shortage in recreational facilities at the University of Wisconsin, Recreational Sports spent the semester developing a master plan for renovation. Regardless of whether the master plan is implemented, students will see an increase in segregated fees to fund maintenance repairs. If the master plan is passed in the spring referendum, Rec Sports is advocating that segregated fees not be increased until the new

facilities are opened. The proposed renovations for the South East Recreational Facility include expanded cardio space, multipurpose rooms, and new courts. Original renderings of the Natatorium were downsized after Rec Sports received feedback from students. Proposed changes include increased fitness space, new basketball courts, an indoor track and turf gym, an ice rink and increased classroom space.

The age of the facilities became apparent after an outdated pipe burst and flooded the Camp Randall Sports Center and caused the building to remain closed for more than a week. However, the Shell Facility is not included in the master plan. If the plan is implemented, it will take approximately 30 years to complete. Students will vote on the master plan in early March.

Andy Fate The Badger Herald

Courtesy of Rec Sports

Legislature delays BadgerCare changes due to low enrollment

Chancellor Rebecca Blank aims to up UW’s reputation Chancellor Rebecca Blank arrived at the University of Wisconsin this fall in a time of strained relations between the university and state Legislature. With goals of increased funding, faculty retention and continuing the Wisconsin Idea, Blank said she came into her position with low expectations for state funding. Nonetheless, Blank said she would advocate to keep current funding levels and also work to establish good communication and relationships with the Legislature. Blank also advocated for a balance between affordable

higher education and new revenue streams. To do so, she emphasized improving private donor funding. Blank reiterated the impor tance of financial stability to maintain UW’s strength in research, education and retention of faculty and staff throughout the semester, specifically in light of the twoyear tuition freeze. However, Blank said she has interest in increasing out-of-state tuition to ensure the university is not “selling itself shor t” compared to peer institutions and to bring more funding to campus.

City’s snugglers join the unemployed after short-lived 22-day cuddling stint Madisonians had a brief love affair with the business phenomenon that was The Snuggle House-strictly platonic, of cour se. Only in business for 22 days, The Snuggle House stir red both controver sy and cuddling. The Snuggle House faced initial public backlash after city attor neys feared the business may tur n into a haven for prostitution. The business maintained that its pur pose was to channel “touch ther apy” to help its customer s “get through a rough time.” After clearing regulator y hurdles,

SEMESTER THA HAT WAS

The Snuggle House opened its door s to cuddler s on Nov. 16. The Snuggle House charged $60 per one hour snuggle session. The staff, known as “snuggler s” were all tr ained in what the The Snuggle House called “Snuggle U.” In training, staff learned protocol and procedure for a helpful, successful snuggling session. Although it saw some visitor s, employees said criticism and har assment ultimately led to The Snuggle House closing on Dec. 6. However, staff encour aged everyone to “snuggle on” in a post on their Facebook page.

Seniors to graduate in single ceremony at Camp Randall Univer sity of Wisconsin senior s graduating in 2014 will be walking across the stage in a single commencement ceremony held in Camp Randall come May. Advocated for by UW students, Chancellor Rebecca Blank and the Division of Student Life, the consolidated ceremony is an attempt to draw a “prominent” speaker for the ceremony after finding that scheduling speaker s over multiple days was difficult. Senior Class Treasurer Sarah Neibar t said this was an effor t to ensure UW received the recognition a wor ld-class university deser ves.

THE

In addition, the entire senior class has not been together since the Chancellor’s Convocation their freshman year. With this change, however, student names will no longer be read out loud and a larger emphasis will be placed on depar tmental ceremonies and receptions. The commencement speaker has not yet been announced and a budget for the ceremony has not been set. The budget for Var sity Day, an event for graduates that could bring another prominent speaker to campus, will not go toward commencement.

In light of technical difficulties with the new healthcare.gov website and federal health care exchange, Gov. Scott Walker announced a plan in November to delay switching 77,000 families off BadgerCare and onto the federal exchange. “It has been abundantly clear the rollout of Obamacare is failing,” Walker said at a press conference introducing the special session bills. “And whether you’re for [Obamacare] or against it, everyone has acknowledged that the rollout of Obamacare has not been as effective as originally proposed.” Delaying the transition of the 77,000 families will also delay a budget provision passed in June to

Memorial Union reveals continued renovation plans With the first phase of the Memorial Union Reinvestment set to open in July, developers revealed plans for the second phase in September. Phase II will update the interior of the union. An Italian restaurant, an Asian restaurant, a Badger Market and a deli will replace Lakefront on Langdon. The plan will also include mechanical updates, changes to

the landscaping around the building and making the Union universally accessible. The renovations are estimated to cost $46 million. Student segregated fees will cover 58 percent of construction costs while donations, and Union operating revenues will fund the remainder. A preservation plan by the Wisconsin

State Historical Society outlined which par ts of the building needed to be maintained to maintain its historic integrity, including Der Rathskeller. Minor improvements will be made to the Terrace, but it will remain open throughout the summer months. The east side of Memorial Union may be closed for two years once construction begins on Phase II.

Community reacts to Hookstead letter questioning ‘rape culture’ Following a letter to the editor printed in The Badger Herald dismissing the concept of “rape culture,” the University of Wisconsin community responded in a campus-wide debate. While the conversation initially elicited negative attention and reactions, many engaged in the campus-wide conversation. Aly Jarocki, president of Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment, said the letter was proof a conversation was necessary and that there were people around campus that agreed with David Hookstead’s views.

Solidarity Singers butt heads with Capitol Police After a summer of Solidarity Sing Alongs and high profile arrests, Gov. Scott Walker and the Depar tment of Administration dropped the requirement for groups larger than 20 to get a permit before gathering at the Capitol. Under the lawsuit settlement between the DOA and the American Civil Liberties Union, protesters are allowed five days of demonstration if they give the DOA notification of the protests two

days in advance. The arrests included a Madison journalist, a 14-year old girl, elderly women and a Madison city alder. Arrestees were fined $200.05 for protesting without a permit, or in some cases, holding a sign. Arrestees were then handcuffed with zip ties and taken to the Capitol basement. “This is not America. We used to have rights in America. We used to have

rights in Wisconsin,” one protester said as police handcuffed him. DOA spokesperson Stephanie Marquis said the permit requirement was enacted in 1979 and is not a recent decision from the Walker administration. Marquis added the permits, which were available online for free and were issued regardless of political ideology, nature or content.

UW System President Kevin Reilly resigns after legislative pressure University of Wisconsin System President Kevin Reilly announced he would leave his post after a spring of contentious debate over reserve funds and tuition increases. However, Reilly, who is leaving for a position on the American Council on Education, said his decision to leave was a gradual decision and not influenced by legislative pressure. During the press conference regarding his resignation, Reilly said he experienced many hardships due to the “overheated partisanship” of the political culture, in addition to experiencing financial difficulties because of the economic recession. However, after Reilly’s announcement, Joint Finance Committee Co-chairs Sen. Alberta Darling, R-River Hills, and Rep. John Nygren, R-Marinette,

said in a statement that Reilly’s departure is “an exciting opportunity” that allows for the UW System “to start a new chapter.” Mike Mikalsen, spokesperson for Rep. Steve Nass, R-Whitewater, who serves as chair of the Assembly Committee on Colleges and Universities, said Reilly’s new position at ACE is “ironic.” “It’s interesting with all the challenges that he has had that he is going to be hired to advise on leadership issues in terms of higher education,” Mikalsen said. “There is humor in that.” UW-Whitewater Chancellor Richard Telfer is set to replace Reilly as interim chancellor starting Jan. 1. A national search is underway for a candidate. During Reilly’s term as president, Reilly said enrollment and graduation rates increased, as did the number of non-traditional and transfer students.

allow more than 80,000 childless adults to get coverage under BadgerCare. The delay will prevent this group from getting coverage until April 1, 2014. The Assembly passed the bill detailing the changes in early December and the Senate is expected to pass the bill Dec. 19 due to its Republican majority. With these delays, Democrats at both the state and national level, including Sen. Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., repeatedly called on Walker to accept federal Medicaid funding after the passage of the Affordable Care Act, which Walker rejected due to the “uncertainty” of federal funding.

While 25 percent of college women are impacted by sexual violence, less than 10 percent of sexual assaults on campus are repor ted. While conversations about rape culture were constructive, University Health Ser vices Director Sarah Van Orman said to combat rape culture, community members have to take action on an individual level. Students should not tolerate jokes about rape and sexual assault, refrain from using degrading terms towards women and be aware of any precursors to sexual assault and dating violence, Van Orman said.

Campus area crime returns to normal rate after initial spike Although the Univer sity of Wisconsin’s Dean of Students Lori Berquam said this year’s crime rate was consistent with that of previous year s, the semester star ted off with a rash of local crime, ranging from ar med burglaries to robberies and sexual assaults repor ted near campus. In ear ly September, the city saw a spike when Madison Police Captain Car l Gloede said the area near the 100 block of West Mifflin Street had a dispropor tionate number of calls for ser vice and more than 200 arrests. Late September saw two

repor ted sexual assaults on Langdon Street alone, as well as a gunman on Langdon Street, which was later revealed to be a drug-related robbery. Though the crime rate has tapered off as the year continued, weird crimes continued to keep police on their toes. One of Madison’s criminals hid stolen goods in a pile of leaves in October, which led to his timely arrest. There was also the instance of a bandit barber who boarded a city bus and cut a passenger’s hair. As of now, Madison police have repor ted lower crime rates than earlier in the year.

City budget passes in record time, allocates increased funds for safety

Andy Fate The Badger Herald

The City Council passed the 2014 operating and capital budgets in near record time this year, finishing the vote in a single session by 10 p.m. Nov. 6. The budget offered more than $400 million for city needs, addressing a range of issues from homelessness to downtown safety. The resulting tax levy from the budget was $198,180,300. In par ticular, the budget designated funds for downtown police over time pay in an effor t to increase safety in the campus area. The city proposed money to provide transpor tation to and from

shower ser vices, as well as laundr y ser vices for the homeless during the winter months until the new homeless day shelter is built, which is expected to open this summer. The budget also offered money to constr uct public toilets in the downtown area to address both public and homeless needs. “It’s an immeidate need here in downtwon,” Ald. Scott Resnick, Distric 8, said of the homeless initiatives. “You can walk outsidem wlk through State Street...You’re going to see homeless individuals. That need is not going away in Madison and it became a forefront in our [budget] conversation.”

DIVERSIONS

Comics Editor Stephen Tyler Conrad comics@badgerherald.com

10 | The Badger Herald | Diversions | Thursday, December 12, 2013

HERALD COMICS

TWENTY POUND BABY

PRESENTS

STEPHEN TYLER CONRAD

baby@badgerherald.com

CROSSWORD 1

11 Milk additive

12 Stereo system component

13 Showing some wear?

26 30 33

15 Only so-called “Decade Volcano” in the continental U.S.

20 23

Milk additive

6 TV actor who lived, appropriately, in Hawaii 14 Hoyt who wrote “Joy to the World” 15 Go-getter on the hunt? 16 Catch 17 Reverse order? 18 “Wrong” way to spell a world leader’s name in a New York Times crossword, according to a 1999 episode of “The West Wing” 20 Gets ensconced

24 Word that begins with an apostrophe

48 Authorized, as to read secrets

25 Cheese made from the milk of Friesian cows

51 Paternity prover

22 19th-century abbot and scientist

6 One of the Bushes

34 Phone line? 35 Title sort of person in 2008’s Best Picture

10 Took a powder

28 Relative of a leek

56 Deep-fried treat

30 Otherworldly 32 Showing irritation

57 Third-place finisher in 2004 and 2008

33 On-deck circle?

58 Unwelcome benchmark?

36 First name in pop

59 Cygnet’s parents DOWN

2 City that hosts the California Strawberry Festival

4 Drapery attachment

47 Beat oneself up about

5 Wee hour

HERALD COMICS 2

WHAT IS THIS

NONSENSE? Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9.

DIFFICULTY RATING: Letting go

HERALD COMICS

PRESENTS 5

15 17

NONSENSE?

21 25 28

32 35

41 44

DIFFICULTY RATING: Meat Sweats

48 51

Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9.

SUDOKU WHAT IS THIS

PRESENTS

SUDOKU

SUDOKU SUDOKU

CROSSWORD 1

HERALD COMICS PRESENTS

Time for hibernation. I might be able to pull off an occasional all-nighter, but there’s nothing fun about an all-winterer. Wake me up for Spring Break.

1 Language of Navarre

45 Johns Hopkins program

36 Purina product

Rocky the Herald Comics Raccoon™

37 Arm bones

3 Places for races

33 Never mind

8 Monstrous

55 Light-reflecting shade

44 Moniker

32 Scribes

7 Makes up (for)

27 Reposes

40 Bar in a shower stall

21 Altdorf’s canton

VINCENT CHENG yaboi@badgerherald.com

31 Cinematography choice

53 Dicey issue

39 Reproductive cell

CLASSIC YA BOI INC. (C’MON DUDE)

29 Possible skin test reaction

9 Modelists’ purchases

38 Charles who was born Angelo Siciliano

23 Star of Buñuel’s “Belle de Jour”

28 Beloved, in Bologna

Puzzle by Patrick Berry ACROSS

toast@badgerherald.com

MIKE BERG

26 Group that offers “protection”

WHITE BREAD & TOAST

19 ___ González, longestserving democratically elected Spanish P.M.

49 52

Puzzle by Frederick J. Healy ACROSS 1 It includes pinning and throwing 8 “Chicago” setting 15 Rapture 16 Skyrocket 17 Prepare to pull the trigger 18 Couple seen at a baby shower 19 Hard knocks 20 It might hold up a holdup 22 Reason for a semiannual shift: Abbr. 23 Skunk and such 24 Star in Virgo 25 Aid in getting a grip 26 Check spec. 27 Abyss 28 Modern Persian 29 “That’s clever!” 31 California’s ___ Sea (rift lake)

32 Got a 41-Across on 33 Billy who played the Phantom in “The Phantom” 34 Person with small inventions 37 Slam dunk stat 41 Benchmark mark 42 They have seats 43 Crew’s director 44 “Que ___-je?” (“What do I know?”: Fr.) 45 “The Great Caruso” title role player 46 Perpetual 10-year-old of TV 47 Wile E. Coyote buy 48 Too, to Thérèse

49 Board game with black and white stones 50 Pupil of Pissarro 52 Like many laptop cameras 54 First name among Italian explorers 55 With ramifications 56 Galls 57 Does some farrier’s work on DOWN 1 One feeling 15-Across after Super Bowl III 2 Title name written “on the door of this legended tomb,” in poetry 3 Home of Southeast Asia’s largest mosque 4 News briefs

5 Colombian kinfolk 6 “___ see” 7 Like the human genome, before the 1990s 8 “St. John Passion” composer 9 Now, to Nicolás 10 Choice for a long shot 11 Sound in the comic “B.C.” 12 Groveled 13 Tepid consent 14 Sitcom pal of Barbarino and Horshack 21 Grammynominated Ford 24 No-yeast feast 25 Parking meeter? 27 Cuts up 28 Adder’s defense 30 They’re offlimits: Var.

31 Pole star? 33 Its main island is Unguja 34 Asset in a drag contest 35 Whence a girl who’s “like a samba,” in song 36 Member of 31-Down’s team 37 Geiger of Geiger counter fame 38 “You’re not the only one!” 39 Recess for a joint 40 Reaches 42 Leisurely strolls 45 It’s often parried 46 Impolite interruption 48 Indigo source 49 Spinal cord surrounders 51 Rescue vessel? 53 Relative of Aztec

pictured: the enemy

EMPLOYMENT Customer Sales / Service Student Work PT w/ flex 5 - 15 hrs/week, $15 base-appt. with scholarship opportunity, ability to work on campus, Call 608-662-2093 or apply online at www.workforstudents.com or stop by our “Student Work” table when we’re on campus by Library Mall. Conditions apply, Must be 18+

SHOUTOUTS The Badger Herald | Shoutouts | Thursday, December 12, 2013 | 11

ASO to the evolution of Memorial Library to College Library. Shut up or go back to your sorority SO to getting my friends hooked on the magic of One Direction. mwahahaha ASO to ﬁnals/ graduating stress. SO to just wanting to smoke and have sex to relieve this stress. ASO to having no one to do this with... ASO to needy men. Fuck oﬀ I’m busy. SO to showing up being half the battle. RSO to never showing up. SO to professors who made their exams not cumulative! ASO to myself for needing a late night snack and only having cheetos aka the noisiest snack ever. Apologies to my roommates who probably want to murder me for all of the crinkling/ crunching going on right now. ASO to feelings. GO AWAY I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU SO to whoever found my Wiscard outside of Chadbourne. ASO to having an ID photo that makes me look like a convict ASO to the fact that the top two singles on iTunes right now belong to One Direction and Justin Bieber. That’s just wrong. SO to writing a paper while I poop, no time shall be wasted!

SO to the smile my roommate had when our friend called her “hood rich” ASO to waking up thinking I overslept because my room was so bright, only to realize that my roommate had fallen asleep with his desk light on, so then I had to get out of bed and turn it oﬀ. All of this occurred at 3 am. SO to my roomie for asking his hookup he drunkenly came home with to put a paper bag on. DSO to her for not knowing what he meant and TSO to her slapping him when he tried to help her put it on. Pure Awesome. SO to witnessing a recently graduated couple taking pictures of their newborn on a small terrace chair. How adorable. SO to the baller that walked up the stairs of Science Hall IN HIS ROLLERBLADES. ASO to my roommate’s singing skills. They’re lacking, and you have no idea. SO to the girl in Memorial Union who just walked past saying, “It’s weird, I have no homework this week but...” I WANT YOUR LIFE. Or at least your classes, if overtaking your life is too extreme. A(wkward)SO to bootysnapping the wrong boy. SO to hooking up anyways. SO to a Wendy’s going in on State. Looking forward to that late night baconator meat. ASO to freshmen. Still showing up to our parties uninvited. ASO to Temple Run,

cause I play it all day and I lost all my friends. B(ro)SO to the guy I spotted at the SERF yesterday. I’d spot you any day...no homo. ASO to the tall guy scratching his balls in the Comm Arts department. ASO to people who hate Christmas Seriously, it’s the only thing that’s going to get me through this semester. ASO to the SERF making my balls itch.

The Badger Herald presents...

8 | The Badger Herald | Thursday, December 12, 2013 Student around campus happy to get Googly Glass Eyes...Who the fuck ate all of our peanut butter?...Jesse McCartney still relevant?...No dogs in heaven

Snuggle House selling left over snuggles After only three weeks of business, The Snuggle House is closing under pressure from the Madison community and is now left with approximately 1.4 tons of snuggles to get rid of before they spoil. The stock of snuggles, which is large enough to provide daily snuggles for a family of four for 16 years, is currently housed in a warehouse on the outskirts of Verona. All of the snuggles will expire by the end of the month, but snuggle experts predict that some will go bad within the next 72 hours. “That’s really something the Madison community doesn’t want,” says Snuggleologist Dr. Harmony Skyflower, Ph.D., “Rotten snuggles are a bane for the environment, and they smell awful.” The Snuggle House reports that this is probably the most

cost-effective opportunity Madisonians will ever have to get their very own snuggles, particularly since the 2005 snuggle bubble burst that forced thousands of people to foreclose on their snuggles. “You’re not going to find snuggles this cheap anywhere else in the Midwest. We’re practically giving them away for free,” said Snuggle House bookkeeper Rubbins McKinley. If they are not used up in coming days, the excess snuggles will most likely end up in a landfill because, as most people know, snuggles are not recyclable and not biodegradable. The Madison Parks Department is particularly concerned about their impact on local wildlife. A representative from the Parks Department issued a statement that said, “There is nothing worse we can do

for the area’s animals than leaving all these snuggles lying around on the ground. Small mammals and birds like to stick their heads in the snuggles, but then they get stuck and suffocate. Do you know how many ducks were killed by snuggles left out by negligent users in the last year? Probably none, but this year could be different.” When asked what they were planning to do with their excess A-Little-More-ThanSnuggles-If-You-Know-What-IMean, the representative from The Snuggle House nervously coughed, avoided eye contact and pretended he did not hear the question. “I don’t know anything about that either,” Skyflower said. “My expertise lies in snuggling, cuddling and nuzzling. Definitely nothing Meg McMahon more. Nope.” The remaining boxes of snuggles will be an environmental hazard if not used by folks.

This Day in Badgers’ History 1912 It was probably cold as fuck outside.

Walgreens now offering circumcisions for cheap New management at East Campus Mall location making smart finanicial decisions to benefit goys and gentiles alike In a startling and unexpected turn of events, the Walgreens located on East Campus Mall has announced that they will soon be offering circumcisions for male students at the astoundingly low price of $44.95, only $5 more than a flu shot. Now we know what many of you are probably wondering - Why such an affordable price? To flesh out the juicy details behind this audacious new deal, we learned that the cheap circumcisions are only the most recent in a series of economic ventures set forth by the store’s ambitious new manager, Rabbi Goldfarb. “It’s kind of weird. But if he’s willing to pay me an extra 24 cents an hour to wear a yarmulke and say ‘mazel tov’ to the customers checking out, why would I turn down good money? I’m already knee deep in student loans,” commented one employee we cornered outside the Walgreens smoking a cigarette. “Plus he’s always giving me sage advice and culturing me on the Torah, which is dope. I’m getting a circumcision with my employee discount.” Clearly, this new manager has a vision for this

Walgreens, and at the center of that vision is an innovative ﬁnancial plan. We interviewed freshman Witte resident Christian, who recently took advantage of the new, commercially genius procedure. “I had always heard that it’s healthy to get your penis circumcised, so when I saw that the Walgreens advertising circumcisions for only $44.95, I jumped at the opportunity.” We followed up with Christian after the procedure. “When I found out the store manager was going to be doing the procedure I was a bit skeptical, but he made the process a deeply spiritual experience. He was really nice. He even went out of his way and gave me what he called a ritual bath. Afterwards he shook my hand and welcomed me to the world of Judaism. My Catholic parents probably won’t be happy, but college is all about trying new things, and now I’ve got a healthier penis.” Aside from offering bargain circumcision deals and employee incentives, the new manager has implemented other brave

business ventures in his economic crusade. For example, a small synagogue has been built in place of the pharmacy section, replacing standardized western medicine with spiritual healing, and the food aisles have been transformed into a cheap and delicious kosher delicatessen stocked full of generic Walgreens brand meat. Do not worry though. It’s in a separate room (20 feet away from the deli) where male customers get their meat cut and koshered. “Honestly, my goal is to convert all male Walgreens customers to Judaism, one circumcision at a time,” remarked Goldfarb while enjoying some of the Nice! brand challah. “And if I can guide my employees and customers towards spiritual enlightenment by advertising great deals on Jewish commodities— I will.” As evidence by the increased amount of customers, the new manager’s ﬁnancial plan has been incredibly effective. Male students across campus are finding their promise land at Walgreens.

Lonely student texts to the Emergency Alert Systems Sometimes, campus, we know you get lonely. So lonely, in fact, that the only people you have to text are the Emergency Alert Systems you prescribe to think that someone is texting you. Here are some of the aback to those EAS numbers. ● The alleged gunman is wearing a brown coat? Oh, I bet that matches your eyes. ● Here’s an alert for you Come play Halo with me!!! ● It’s snowing? How beautiful! Maybe we could go for a walk down Bascom later ;) ● Oh, the alleged burglar is approximately 6’2”, you say? Is he cute? ● Im jus not oever U! (Does this look drunk enough to send

to my ex, Emergency?) ● I’m sexually attracted to the Knidian Aphrodite. ● Warning about ice patches on East Campus Mall? Who got er wet in the ﬁrst place? ;) ● Hey, if you’re not busy with emergency alerts later, let’s go to the Steepery. ● Hey, thanks for letting me know it’s raining. ● I have an emergency...that can only be cured with MORE COWBELL. ● Are you a boy or a girl? ● When you get sick do you take Emergen-C? ● Do you think it was a bad idea to do on-campus winter housing? They forgot to heat the place. WAIT EMERGENCY. ● No, I’m headed towards the Capitol, not Lakeshore. GOD!! No one gets me! ● Wisc Alert hit me up on chat roulette

● Timely Warning: On Friday, December 6, one lonely boy waits at home for some company… ● You mean I am the emergency, because I’m so hott right? Right? RIGHT? TELL ME I’M PRETTY. ● Three Inches.. YOU WHORE! ● Wow… a little forward dont you think? ● My friend Pablo won’t play with checkers with me… his mom doesn’t let him stay out past 9 :( ● I’ve never done this for a robot before hehe ● Do you like photos? I bet you like photos. I’ll send you my penis ● Would you paint me like one of your French girls? ● I’ve got an alert with your anme n it

Roommate probably won’t share cookies Following the arrival of a Christmas-themed cookie tin mailed from his Grandmother’s address, junior psychology major Bruce Webster’s housemates forecasted he would probably choose to hoard the cookies for himself. Arriving at 2 p.m., the package had sat on the table surrounded by Webster’s housemates for several hours, during which time Webster was criticized by housemate Greta Eckhart for being a “greedy little bitch.” “What a piece of shit,” Eckhart said. “I made cake twice this semester, and I know he had his fair share on both occasions. What kind of garbage pile impersonating a human being eats a whole tin full of cookies?” Webster’s grandmother

sent him multiple packages of sweets for a number of occasions, ranging in importance from Halloween to “hope you’re doing well,” Eckhart said. On no previous occasion has he offered his treats as takeables. Rather, Webster is often spotted securing his packages of treats underneath his arm and racing to his room “like a stupid-assed fox,” housemate Lyle Olsen said. Olsen said Webster leaves his room looking “pinkfaced and embarrassed like he just stuffed his fat cheeks with sugary friendship ruiners.” “What’s he doing eating all these cookies anyway?” Olsen said. “I haven’t heard him go to the gym in weeks. He could easily shed four to five pounds if he just offered his cookies as up-

for-grabsies.” Which cookies were present remained unknown, though after shaking the tin housemate Christina Banks said it could be anything from almond crescents to ranger bars. Whatever type of treat was held inside, Banks said Webster probably would eat it all because “he’s a real cock in the mouth.” “No, I guess he doesn’t have to share his treats with us, technically speaking, no,” Banks said. “But the fact that he doesn’t makes him a fat dirty douche. Remember when I got that Qdoba last week before I passed out on the ottoman? Did I throw that half eaten burrito away in the morning or did I put four forks in it and leave it on the table? I don’t know,. Am I a fat dirty douche?”

Misnomer Incomplete Thoughts Hey professors, remember those legally binding rules that keep you from giving us end of the semester tests, final papers and other stuff the week before finals? Fuck you guys you grubby bastards who only want your damn tenure that we don’t give a shit about

How to live through hellish, bad finals The Madison Misnomer offers up fresh perspective on how to think about your finals, really, life in general, homie Hey you, yes you! Got finals? Feeling stressed? Need a way to cope? NO PROBLEM! We’ve got all the artillery you need to survive this semester of aggravating finals, and the best part? All it takes is a little imagination! So just imagine. You’re trapped up in a secret annex. It’s the height of World War II and you are a Jew hiding from the disciples of Adolf himself. In these cramped quarters, it is imperative you and your family keep silent because if the Jerries find you, dammit it, it’s game over. All the months you and your family have spent bumping elbows and rationing dry goods will have been futile. You haven’t seen the sun in months, and the only exercise in the annex is a result of the adrenaline your collective family feels when you think you’ve been caught. Now imagine that you’ve ALSO got to study for that Chem 109 final, wrap up that Comm Arts project-and shit what about that

research paper due for your folklore class? It all seems next to impossible. Having an insuperable volume of pages to read, terms to memorize and critical thinking points to get down onto an essay that’s worth 50 percent of your class grade, all the while having to sit completely still, frequently drenched in the sweat of your own fear...how could you ever possibly do it? If that weren’t bad enough, just try to picture yourself as a helpless Kurdish civilian during the height of the Anfal Campaign. You’ve just escaped the only village you’ve ever known just in time to see it blown to bits by aerial bombing. You’re choking on the surrounding chemical warfare, smoke and an overwhelming scent of decay. Suddenly, you’ve found yourself in open crossfire completely unarmed, and in the midst of this chaos you’ve JUST come to the realization that…your oral exam for Russian

204 is tomorrow. You still haven’t memorized that seven-stanza poem you are expected to recite! Your perseverance seems hopeless now. Just when you thought things could not get any worse, you’re in present day college. Becky is being a total bitch about the fact that she didn’t become sub-vice president for philanthropic duties in your sorority. (It is Top House after all.) Clearly, you work harder and are more pretty so she should have seen this coming anyway. But you swear, if she ﬂips her hair so passively at you during your next social one more time…you’re going to chip a nail bed. On top of that, your split ends are noticeable and other girls are deﬁnitely judging. Then, the icing to that cake of a rough week you’ve been having: You have two finals in a week and a half. There’s no way you could live on. Now, flash forward to present-day North Korea. Enough said.

INFO@THEMADISONMISNOMER.COM, FACEBOOK, @MADISONMISNOMER, LINKEDIN AND JOHNNY5234 ON OKCUPID - EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: ERIC WIIG

The Badger Herald | Staﬀ | Thursday, December 12, 2013

HERALD Fall 2013 Staff The Badger 14

15 20 13

21 7

11 12

Claire Larkins The Badger Herald

STAFF Pictured 1 Cogan Schneier 2013: City Editor 2033: Crock pot chef extraordinaire, and author of “The Feort Jar” 2 Mackenzie Chaﬀee 2013: Advertising Director 2033: Finally buys that

panda she always dreamed of having 3 Katherine Krueger 2013: Editor-in-Chief 2033: Working at Pita Pit for her love of late night meat

4 Luke Nevermann 2013: Publisher 2033: Running a drunk moving company 5 Tara Golshan 2013: News Editor 2033: Still assembling her dresser bought in 2018

6 Zack Legge 2013: Advertising Manager 2033: Paints only half of his house...calls it art 7 Allie Johnson 2013: News Content Editor 2033: IKEA Manager 8 Katie Caron 2013: Managing Editor 2033: Makes millions oﬀ “lyke dis if u cri evertim’ book and doge v. spacecat comic” and still listens to “don’t drop that thun thun thun” on an hourly basis 9 Ali Sinkula 2013: Design Director 2033: Overdoses on Oreos 10 Aliya Iftikhar 2013: Campus Editor 2033: Giving a lecture in Arabic on how to be ready for life

11 Emily Zellers 2013: Page Designer 2033: Adjusting to iPhone 37

into the Olympic Village to visit the Wisconsin women’s hockey players

12 Kelly Kaschner 2013: Graphics Director 2033: Follows her dream to become a rodeo clown

17 Nick Daniels 2013: Sports Editor 2033: Father of 10 ginger children, still hasn’t found a ginger wife

13 Paul Grosrenaud 2013: Page Designer 2033: Suburban mother frequenting Trader Joe’s

18 Matt Neil 2013: Web Developer 2033: Double ﬁsting double meat

14 Joe Timmermann 2013: Editorial Page Content Editor 2033: Scuba guide at a nondescript tropical resort

19 Charlie Godfrey 2013: Editorial Page Editor 2033: Lost in the Boundary Waters

15 Erik Sateren 2013: Arts Editor 2033: Still a pretentious fuck

20 Andy Fate 2013: Photo Editor 2033: *ded* But actually a multi-millionaire iphone app maker

16 Spencer Smith 2013: Senior Sports Writer 2033: Trying to sneak

21 Madeleine Behr 2013: State Editor 2033: POTUS press secretary

STAFF Not Pictured Sean Zak 2013: Sports Content Editor 2033: still a ~diva,~ teaching a class on menstruation Caroline Sage 2013: General Assignment Editor 2033: Still pounding tequila like it’s 2013 Sean Kirkby 2013: Copy Chief 2033: Noted Nic Cage ﬁlm historian that lives with the wolves Maddy Michaelides 2013: Associate Copy Chief 2033: Author of best selling “As I Lay Feorting: A Memoir” Amy Sleep 2013: Copy Editor 2033: No. 1 fan of Una Dirección, the less successful Spanish boy band Sara Lawton 2013: Copy Editor 2033: Owner of a pizzeria that specializes in “mom-approved” combinations Olivia Demarinis 2013: Copy Editor 2033: World-renowned classical music composer Emily Eklof 2013: Copy Editor

2033: Now known as the vigilante Khaleesi, breaking boys’ hearts and kicking asses Martha Demeules 2013: Copy Editor 2033: Always offers to work late on nights she has off from forwarding the field of science Spencer McAfeeGundrum 2013: Copy Editor 2033: Still doesn’t eat apples, only one who keeps attending Herald parties David Glickstein 2013: Copy Editor 2033: Inventor of a computer keyboard that plays jazz music when you type Edgar Roman 2013: Copy Editor 2033: Winner of the “Politest Emails and Most Informative Texts” award Audrey Piehl 2013: Copy Editor 2033: Intergalactic trendsetter and master of wearing her sunglasses at night Jen Small 2013: Photo Editor 2033: ×÷·.·´¯`·)» PRINCESS «(·´¯`·.·÷× Hating dropwaist wedding dresses

Zach Thomae 2013: Web Developer 2033: Still a Web Developer Max Rosenberg 2013: Ad Exec 2033: Masters the technique of selling ads from the bathroom Nick Rush 2013: Ad Exec 2033: Becomes the next generation Donald Trump ... with nice hair Jesse Rost 2013: Ad Exec 2033: Internationally known DJ; reinventing “cool” one beat drop at a time Austin Marg 2013: Ad Exec 2033: Rich nanny for Beyoncé Knowles’ ﬁve children Cammy Albert 2013: Marketing Manager 2033: Ridin’ dirty in her soccer mom van Caroline Johnson 2013: Business Manager 2033: Arrested for mail fraud Jack Vettel 2013: Business Associate 2033: Sends ﬁrst Badger Herald subscription ... wrong address

The Badger Herald | Sports | Thursday, December 12, 2013

Washington next in line for women’s basketball Eric Kohlbeck Women’s Basketball Writer

Jen Small The Badger Herald Former Wisconsin running back Ron Dayne (left) became the 13th Badger inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Dayne inducted to Hall of Fame in NYC After being elected to earn elite award in May, former star honored Tuesday Nick Daniels Sports Editor Former Wisconsin running back Ron Dayne was inducted to the College Football Hall of Fame as a member of the 2013 class Tuesday at the National Football Foundation Annual Awards Dinner in New York City. The former college standout will now join 12 others from Wisconsin in the College Football Hall of Fame — a list that includes Barry Alvarez, Alan Ameche and Elroy “Crazylegs” Hirsch. “I’m very excited and thrilled to be mentioned with the greatest names in college football history,” Dayne said to uwbadgers. com. “This is a tremendous honor for me and the university. As with

everything in my career, I see this as a team honor and something I could never have achieved without my teammates and coaches.” Dayne last played for the Badgers in the 1999 season, a year in which he racked up 2,034 rushing yards and 20 touchdowns on his way to only the second Heisman Trophy for a Wisconsin football player and Wisconsin’s secondconsecutive Rose Bowl victory. In addition to his Heisman success, Dayne also collected the Maxwell Award, the Walter Camp Player of the Year Award, the Doak Walker Award, the Chicago Tribune Silver Football and was a consensus first-team All-American. Dayne currently sits atop the NCAA record books with the most rushing yards in a college career with 6,397 yards in four seasons. He was one of only five players in NCAA history to rush for more than a thousand yards in each of his four collegiate

seasons. “It’s hard for it to sink in exactly what Ron has just achieved, what he’s been named to,” Wisconsin athletic director Barry Alvarez said last May when Dayne’s election to the College Football Hall of Fame was first announced. “Over 5 million people have played college football. There’s like less than 1 percent that have gone into the Hall of Fame... That gives you the magnitude of the honor.” Dayne briefly went on to have a NFL career between 2000 and 2007, but was never able to live up to his No. 11 overall pick in the 2000 NFL Draft. Over the span of eight years in the league, he would rush for 3,722 yards and 28 touchdowns with the New York Giants, Denver Broncos and Houston Texans. Dayne’s No. 33 jersey was retired at Wisconsin on November 10, 2007 during a Big Ten game against the Michigan Wolverines.

Tough Gonzaga defense too much for Wisconsin Eric Kohlbeck Women’s Basketball Writer In arguably its toughest game of the season so far, the Wisconsin women’s basketball team played host to its first ranked opponent of the season in No. 24 Gonzaga Tuesday night. The Bulldogs were the victors, pulling out a 15-point victory of 70-55 and using a suffocating half-court trap and fullcourt pressure to hold the Badgers to their lowest field goal percentage on the season (32.1). UW also gave them their third loss of the season, all while holding out two key players for the Badgers in Dakota Whyte and Michala Johnson. “We didn’t play our best ball [Tuesday],” Wisconsin head coach Bobbie Kelsey said. “It wasn’t a great game for us. We couldn’t hit a shot and with a lot of dribbling going nowhere.” With the Badgers taking a one point lead in at halftime, Gonzaga came out in the second half with a half-court trap. Combined with a full-court press used in the first half and later in the second half as well, the Badgers committed 16 turnovers and kept giving the Bulldogs opportunities at crucial times. The defensive trap employed by the Bulldogs wasn’t anything the Badgers hadn’t seen before, but with Nicole Bauman playing the point guard position due to the struggles of starting point guard Whyte, the Bulldogs reaped the benefi ts and scored 12 of their points off of the 16 Badger turnovers. “We’ve seen [the full court press] before. That is nothing new,” Kelsey said. “[Whyte] didn’t have a great start to the

game, so we had to put [Bauman at point guard]. That’s not really her position. We’ve seen full court presses before, so it probably shouldn’t have bothered us as much as it appeared to. We should do a much better job with that and for some reason we kind of just let it bother us.” A large part of the Bulldogs’ success on Tuesday was getting the Badger’s second best point scorer and best rebounder, Johnson, into foul trouble. The redshirt junior came in averaging 14.9 points and 8.4 rebounds per game but was held to just six points and nine rebounds. After picking up her third foul just 37 seconds into the second half, Johnson sat out the next nine minutes. “In the second half, we just made some more defensive plays than they did and that was the difference,” Gonzaga head coach Kelly Graves said. “I thought when [Johnson] went down with her foul trouble I thought that really hurt [Wisconsin].” As Johnson sat out, junior forward Jackie Gulczynski was forced to fill in at the center position, who, like Bauman, was forced to play a position she’s not as comfortable with. Playing the five also forced Gulczynski to go up against 6-foot-4 Bulldog center, Sunny Greinacher, who scored 12 points on the night. Along with Greinacher, two six-foot forwards, Lindsay Sherbert and Danielle Walter, combined to score another 19 points for the Bulldogs. “It’s always going to be difficult for me to go in and play the five,” Gulczynski said. “But if that’s what coach wants

and that’s what the team needs then I’ll go in and play the fi ve. [Gonzaga’s] a big team, so for me and AnnMarie [Brown] to try and contain their post, I thought we did a pretty good job of trying our best and staying physical. But you’re always going to miss [Johnson] when she’s in foul trouble. We just tried to contain them.” The stifling Bulldog defense also held the Badgers to just five succesful three-pointers out of 22 attempts on the night, which was good for just 22.7 percent. Wisconsin came in dominating its opponents from downtown, making a total of 53 threepointers as opposed to their opponents’ 28. UW’s starters went a combined 4-of-18 from beyond the arc. Senior guard Taylor Wurtz, who had a .375 three-pointer percentage this season, struggled on Tuesday, going just 2-of-7 from three-point range. “We all struggled from the three-point line,” Kelsey said. “I think Morgan never goes [without a make], [Wurtz] struggled and she had several wide open ones that she never misses but she had a tough stretch there for a little bit. I know it was frustrating for her because she usually knocks those shots down.” Tuesday’s game was one of the toughest games for the Badgers, who are in the midst of playing four power six conference opponents in fi ve games, with Gonzaga making up the lone nonpower six conference opponent. “Gonzaga’s a really good team,” Kelsey said. “They’re battle tested, they’re NCAA tested and we’re trying to get where they are, but we could’ve played much better.”

It has been a grueling nonconference schedule this season for the Wisconsin women’s basketball team. Big-name schools like Alabama, Vanderbilt, Boston College, Marquette and Gonzaga have occupied the schedule for the Badgers in the early months of the 2013-2014 season. Following a 7055 loss to No. 24 Gonzaga on Tuesday, the Badgers (6-3) will continue their tough schedule as they head west to face the Washington Huskies (2-3) on Friday. Badger head coach Bobbie Kelsey is hoping this tough schedule will prepare her players for what they can expect to see in both Big Ten play and possibly the NCAA tournament at the end of the season. With key players returning from injuries this season, the Badgers are gearing up for an NCAA run despite the team having little experience in post-season play. “Those games help you if we want to go where we want to go, which is to the NCAA tournament,” Kelsey said. “We need to make sure we’re preparing ourselves all the time to experience what that would be like. The majority of our program has not experienced the NCAA tournament, so we want to make sure we’re preparing ourselves for those kinds of games. And these [nonconference games] have challenged us in many ways.” Friday’s game against Washington will be the fourth-straight game against either a ranked team or a team from a power six conference for

the Badgers. Washington isn’t quite as battle tested as Wisconsin — having played only five games this season. Its two wins came against Seattle and Houston, while its three losses came against St. Mary’s (Cali.), Portland and No. 23, Texas A&M. Despite their 2-3 overall record, the Huskies have one of the best backcourts in the Pac-12 with guards Jazmine Davis and Kelsey Plum. Davis, a junior, was Pac-12 Freshman of the Year in 2012 and has been named to the All-Pac-12 First Team in both her freshman and sophomore seasons. She is also Washington’s all-time leading scorer through two seasons and holds the Husky record for points as a freshman (535). Plum is a freshman this season, but was an All-American in high school and helped guide USA’s U-19 team to a gold medal at the U-19 World Championships in 2013. Davis and Plum are averaging 19 and 18 points per game respectively this season for the Huskies. Six-foottwo forward Talia Walton has also had a good start to the season, averaging 14.8 points and 7.5 rebounds per game for Washington. Although Washington boasts a pair of quality guards, the Badgers certainly have their own trio of quality guards in Dakota Whyte, Morgan Paige, and Taylor Wurtz. Paige is coming off of a 19 point performance on Tuesday where she was 11-for-14 from the freethrow line. She is just five points away from joining Wurtz as a member of the 1,000 point club. Wurtz and Paige are first and third on the team in scoring, averaging 15 and 13.1 points per game this season. Whyte leads the

team is assists with 26. A big advantage for the Badgers on Friday could come from the threepoint line. Washington ranks last in the Pac-12, allowing 47 percent from three-point range, which bodes well for a Badger team that has made 23 more three-pointers than its opponents this season owning a 5835 advantage. Friday’s game couldn’t have come at a better time for the Badgers after they were just 5-for-22 on Tuesday night from beyond the arc. Wisconsin will look to get their stroke back from downtown and Kelsey wants to see the offense improve in general during its last three nonconference games. After Washington, the Badgers will play Illinois-Chicago and Green Bay before opening up Big Ten play against Illinois on Jan. 3. “We need to execute our offense better,” Kelsey said. “I think we start just panicking when it breaks down, when we don’t get all the way through it. Everybody’s got to know it, in, out, backwards, forwards, every which way. “Sometimes we look like we’re running around when we’re just trying to get in our spots. But we have to look at it as coaches; we’ve got to make sure we’re putting them in things they can actually run.” It will be the fifth meeting all-time between Washington and Wisconsin with the Huskies owning a 3-1 overall record. The Badgers and Huskies met last season in Madison with Washington, winning 60-55, and were led by none other than Jazmine Davis who scored 22 points.

The Badger Herald | Sports | Thursday, December 12, 2013

ORLANDO N TO

After the season began with a hot star t and two shutout victories, a trip to Arizona State Sept. 14 may forever be remembered as one of the most unexplainable losses in Wisconsin football history. However, a strong conference season and a 6-2 finish in the Big Ten helped the Badgers to a No. 19 BCS ranking by the end of the season. Now Wisconsin will look to send one of its most successful senior classes off with one final victory in the Capital One Bowl Jan. 1 against No. 8 South Carolina. Photo Credits Andy Fate, Jen Small, Matt DeBoer, Steve Gotter, and Joey Reuteman

Tennessee Tech, 48-0

Iowa, 28-9

Penn State, 24-31

UMass, 45-0

Northwestern, 35-6

Illinois, 56-32

Arizona State, 32-30

Indiana, 51-3

Ohio State, 24-31

Minnesota, 20-7

Purdue, 41-10

BYU, 27-17

The Badger Herald | Sports | Thursday, December 12, 2013

A new era: Say hello to Big Ten conference hockey Wisconsin fans may be familiar with old WCHA teams; 2014 begins new journey Dan Corcoran Men’s Hockey Writer With the holiday season in full swing, families are gathering to spend some quality time together, but there’s one extended family that’s getting to know each other for the first time this winter: the Big Ten hockey family. After battling Minnesota two weekends ago in its first-ever Big Ten hockey series and hosting Penn State this past weekend in the Kohl Center’s Big Ten debut, Wisconsin has now seen the two completely different sides of new conference realignment. The juxtaposition of the Minnesota and Penn State series in a way symbolizes how the new era for Wisconsin hockey, and college hockey as a whole, will hold. There’s the old, bitter rival Minnesota, and then there’s the new, unfamiliar Penn State. In between, there’s Michigan and Michigan State that were once regulars on the Badgers’ schedule but haven’t been seen in several years. Finally, there’s Ohio State, which has been almost nonexistent in the scope of Badgers’ hockey history, even though the Buckeyes and Badgers played quite frequently in the late 60s. However, whether old or new, familiar or unfamiliar, the six teams in the Big Ten are all opening a new chapter of college hockey and new relationships with one another. Although Wisconsin has seen two teams from the Big Ten already, it’s time to take a deeper look at what to expect from these teams over the coming months and years as the new relationships are forged. Minnesota One of the most important ties, at least for Wisconsin, is to Minnesota, one resembling that of a divorced couple. Not only are the two constantly fighting over something — presumably recruiting ground in the two states — but they’re just a little too familiar for either to get comfortable. Then again, saying Minnesota and Wisconsin are familiar would be an understatement, as the two squads have met 268 times dating all the way back to the first game in 1922 — the first season hockey was recognized as a varsity sport at both schools. The two

WINS, page 16 getting deflections and turning those into points, and those are huge.” With Wednesday’s win over Milwaukee, Wisconsin swept the instate series for the first time since 2010 and matched its best start (110) in program history. “Yay for the team,”

TOURNEY, page 16 we’ve made it so far.” The Badger defense has cruised in its last few matches as well. It is averaging 3.67 blocks per set in its last three contests, almost a block and a half better than its season average and more than triple the blocks of their opponents in that stretch. Senior libero Annemarie Hickey led the

COLORADO, page 16 season ties his total points recorded in his first three seasons as a Badgers. “I don’t really know exactly what it is, but I have great players and great coaches around me,” Faust said. “I feel like I have been playing well right now, and it’s fun. And getting those two wins last weekend for our team was huge for us.” Looking ahead, special teams will be a critical area of focus for

played every year until 1935, but then didn’t meet again until the 1964-1965 season, a year after the modern era of Wisconsin hockey began. In the pre-modern and modern eras alike, Minnesota has all but dominated the series, holding a commanding 159-88-21 series lead over Wisconsin all-time, although 37 of those wins did come before the modern era. Now, after four mediocre seasons from 2007-2011, Minnesota has returned to its place near the top of college hockey over the last two seasons under head coach Don Lucia, who is in his 15th year at the helm. This year looks to be even brighter for the Golden Gophers, currently ranked second in the nation with an 11-2-2 overall record and 3-0-1 Big Ten record. Lucia won back-to-back national championships in 2002 and 2003. A third into this season, his team certainly looks like a championship contender both nationally and in the Big Ten, despite the fact the Gophers were picked to finish second in the conference, behind Wisconsin. The Gophers are led by solid goaltending from sophomore Adam Wilcox, who set the school record with a 1.88 goals-againstaverage last season after starting 38 games. This year, Wilcox is 10-2-2 with a 2.18 goals against average (GAA) and a .924 save percentage. On the offensive end, the Gophers are no slouch either, with eight players having scored 10 points or more only 15 games into the season, including leading scorer Sam Warning, who has 20 points on five goals and 15 assists. Michigan While the relationship with Minnesota is like that of a feuding couple, the one with with Michigan more closely resembles a sibling rivalry. Michigan has played the role of big brother, and dominated college hockey with six national titles in the late 40s and early 50s. When Wisconsin rejoined college hockey, the two began duking it out for bragging rights, and although the Badgers trail the all-time series 64-52-8, they won the only national championship matchup in 1977. The Badgers and Wolverines haven’t faced off against each other since the last year of the College Hockey Showcase in 2010, but have otherwise been frequent competitors in a series that also dates back to 1922. Michigan was

actually a member of the WCHA from 1959-1981 and played Wisconsin, Minnesota and Michigan State within the WCHA during those years to determine a Big Ten champion (Wisconsin won five “Big Ten” championships). But after the 1981 season, Michigan made the move to the now defunct Central Collegiate Hockey Association where it won 11 conference titles and nine conference tournaments. Yearly meetings between the two schools resumed with the start of the College Hockey Showcase in 1993, in which Wisconsin and Minnesota played one game each against Michigan and Michigan State in a weekend. Holistically speaking, Michigan is a program that is one of college hockey’s staples, and is led by one of the coaching staples of the game, Red Berenson. In his 30th season as head coach, Berenson has been the force behind Michigan’s success, taking over for a struggling program, turning the Wolverines into a national power and claiming two national titles in the process. Berenson also led his teams to 22 straight NCAA appearances from 1990-2012, the longest streak in college hockey history. After the streak was broken last year, Michigan looks like a typical Berenson team this year and is ranked 3rd in the nation (10-2-1, 2-0). Like the Gophers, the Wolverines have been led by their goaltender, freshman Zach Nagelvoort, who currently has a 1.65 GAA and a .945 save percentage. Offensively, the Wolverines have five players with five or more goals and another five players with 11 points or more. Michigan’s leading scorer JT Compher is also a freshman and has five goals and nine assists on the young season. Michigan State While Michigan State may be Michigan’s sister school, the Spartans are more like cousins to Wisconsin. Similar to Minnesota, Michigan and Wisconsin, Michigan State hockey had its beginnings in 1922. But like Wisconsin, hockey was suspended for a time in East Lansing in 1932 and started back up in 1949. The Spartans then joined the WCHA in 1959 and played Wisconsin frequently after the Badgers joined the conference for the 1964-1965 season. Just like its sister school, though, Michigan State made the leap to the CCHA for the 1981-1982 season and didn’t see the Badgers regularly

Andy Fate The Badger Herald Wisconsin and Minnesota have moved their sibling rivalry to the Big Ten, but the rest of the family is new this year.

again until the College Hockey Showcase. Of the 90 all-time games between the programs, the series is the closest of any Wisconsin has with the other Big Ten schools, yet Wisconsin still trails 42-45-3. Interestingly enough, the former commissioner of the CCHA Tom Anastos became the head coach of the Spartans for the 2011-2012 season and is now in his third year. After a 19-16-4 season his first year, Michigan State struggled last year on the way to a 14-26-3 final mark as Anastos tries to right the program and bring it back to national prominence — Michigan State has three national titles all-time, the last coming in 2007. This year’s Spartans (5-8-1, 0-1-1) are a young bunch with 18 players out of 28 total either freshmen or sophomores. In the 14 games so far, the Spartans have struggled defensively yielding 37 goals, while only scoring 35. Jake Hildebrand has seen the majority of the time in the net and in nine games has a 2.54 GAA and a .916 save percentage. Greg Wolfe is the only skater with 10 points or more. He has 7 goals and 5 assists on the year. Ohio State Whereas the first three teams are the immediate family to Wisconsin, Ohio State is where the memory starts to get hazy, probably because the Buckeyes are like the Badgers’ third cousin

Ryan said of his team’s 11 straight wins. “Our guys have played good teams and they get credit. You get credit for what you’ve done to this point. “It’s like in class, you do your assignments and then you get credit for them. If you do them well you get stars on your paper or a pat on the back. If you stop doing

them well everything goes the other way. So far up to this point they’ve found a way to get a lot of things done.” Though Wisconsin is ranked in the top five and owns a program-best record, Brust knows there is still a log of growing that needs to be done before his team is ready for conference play.

“There’s no denying we’ve had a good start, being 11-o, but we still know that it’s going to get much, much harder moving forward,” Brust said. “The Big Ten is just something different … You have to remember that it all resets come January. But we’ve go to finish out what we have here.”

Wisconsin back court with 28 digs in the combined six sets last weekend. Hickey said the key for the Badgers against a monstrous Seminole attack will be leaving every ounce of effort on the floor on Friday. “Just being in the right spots and [getting] stops on defense at the right times,” Hickey said. “Just being really aggressive – defense is one of those positions where you have

to be really aggressive and scrappy to keep the ball off the floor. I think that’s going to be a key for us this weekend.” If Wisconsin defeats Florida State, the team will play either Purdue or Illinois on Saturday in the Elite Eight. Hickey said they are eager in seeking revenge after falling to Illinois at home on Oct. 27 and losing a gut-wrencher in five sets to Purdue six days later.

But Sheffield doesn’t doubt the talent and determination in his team, saying he has not seen better play from the Badgers all year. “Every one of our players, right now, is playing better right now than they have at any point in the season,” Sheffield said. “When you’ve got your team that’s all moving northward, then you can do some special things.”

UW this weekend. The penalty kill unit has seen steady improvement, performing at 83 percent with 44 kills in 53 tries on the season. Meanwhile Wisconsin’s power play earned its first goal with the manadvantage against PSU after 17 straight with no score. A clear boost of confidence for the lead power play unit of Mersch, Kerdiles, seniors Mark Zengerle and Tyler Barnes and junior Jake McCabe, Eaves is glad to see their work paying off but was quick to say

the group has not been without opportunities in the 17 prior lost advantages. “The ultimate satisfaction is scoring goals, but then at the next level it is if we are creating scoring chances and it’s been there,” Eaves said. “It was just a matter of time …. it’s a tough power play because they don’t do anything structured. They have the ability to freelance.” UW will take the ice for the third-straight weekend for the first

time this season Friday night, and Eaves believes the series will be a great indicator of the consistency in the team after have three bye weeks already this season. “I think this weekend will really, really have some kind of rhythm when on Friday night we are able to hit our stride earlier than we did this past weekend,” Eaves said. The puck is set at 6:30 p.m. Friday night at the Kohl Center and and on Saturday at 7 p.m.

twice-removed only seen at weddings and large family gatherings. Although the Badgers and Buckeyes have only met 11 times total dating back to 1965 — Wisconsin leads the series 10-1 — the two programs have some interesting connections. Former Wisconsin assistant Mark Osiecki became the head coach of the Buckeyes when he left Wisconsin after the 2009-2010 season, although he was fired this past spring. But the connections actually run deeper, as Wisconsin head coach Mike Eaves’ father Cecil is actually credited with starting the Buckeye program that began in 1963-1964. After three average seasons under Osiecki, former Wisconsin player Steve Rohlik, who played at Wisconsin at the same time Badger assistant coach Gary Shuchuk did in the late 80s, took over for the departed Osiecki this season. Ohio State is off to an 8-6 start, despite being swept by Michigan Nov. 29 and Dec. 2 in a home-and-home series to open conference play. The Buckeyes are a very balanced team in terms of eligibility, with 12 underclassmen and 15 upperclassmen. Statistically speaking, Ohio State is just as balanced as 15 different players have scored a goal and four different players have at least 10 points. The goaltender situation continues the balanced mantra with three different netminders

having seen time this year. Freshman Matt Tomkins has led the way with eight starts, a 5-3 record and .910 save percentage. Logan Davis has started five games in between the posts and leads all the goaltenders with a 2.21 GAA. Penn State Last but certainly not least is Penn State, the newbie to the college hockey scene and baby brother of Wisconsin and the rest of the Big Ten in only their second year of competition at the Division I level after spending last year as an independent. Despite having to transition from club hockey last season to DI, the Nittany Lions made the move quite well, finishing with a 13-14-0 record, including a win over Wisconsin in overtime in their last game of the season. However, Penn State is still in the process of phasing out the club players, and with that, the Nittany Lions bring a great deal of youth to the table this season, including 18 players who are sophomores or freshmen. The second year of being a Division I program has proved more difficult this season, and the Nittany Lions head into this weekend with a 3-7-1 record. One of the few ties Penn State has to Wisconsin is their junior Max Gardiner, whose brother, Jake, was a former Badger defenseman currently a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

SPORTS

Sports Editor Nick Daniels sports@badgerherald.com

16 | The Badger Herald | Sports | Thursday, December 12, 2013 MEN’S BASKETBALL: December 11 WISCONSIN MILWAUKEE

78 52

ON TO ORLANDO

VOLLEYBALL: December 13 WISCONSIN FLORIDA STATE

The UW football team will battle in the Capital One Bowl Jan. 1. Take a look back at the road that led them there on page 14.

4 p.m. ESPN3

NEED MORE SPORTS? Check out @bheraldsports and these frequently-tweeting Badger Herald Sports Editors: Nick Daniels @np_daniels Sean Zak @sean_zak

Badgers prep for Colorado Wisconsin to host old WCHA rival at Kohl Center for 1st time since move to Big Ten Caroline Sage Men’s Hockey Writer

Andy Fate The Badger Herald Senior guard Ben Brust led all scorers against Milwaukee Wednesday with 18 points in an easy victory to help sweep UW’s in-state rivals in 2013.

UW makes it 11 wins Badgers dominate in-state rival Milwaukee to maintain unbeaten streak in 2013 Spencer Smith Senior Sports Writer No motor will run without a spark plug, and on Wednesday night, it was Ben Brust’s turn to spark the Wisconsin men’s basketball team’s motor. Brust, with a perfect first half from the field and a game-high 18 points, lifted No. 4 Wisconsin (11-0) to a convincing 78-53 win over UW-Milwaukee (9-3) at home. The Badgers got off to a notoriously slow start, committing three turnovers and missing two shots before it made its first field goal with almost four minutes gone in the ﬁrst half. “Our first four minutes tonight were something that we shouldn’t have had,” sophomore forward Sam Dekker said. “We came out flat, didn’t take the good shots and had a

couple of turnovers.” The Badgers were able to survive their earlygame slump thanks to a strong defense that held the Panthers to just two field goals in the first 10 minutes of the opening half. After Brust jumpstarted the Badgers with three buckets from downtown in five minutes, Wisconsin began to get on a roll making 10-straight shots from the ﬁeld — not missing a shot for nearly nine minutes. “It was just a product of having some good offense – driving, kicking, ﬁnding guys,” Brust said. Wisconsin’s hot end to the first half was highlighted by a Traevon Jackson dunk over Milwaukee’s 6-foot-7 forward Malcolm Moore. “He’s always been telling us since the summer that he’s going to get some dunks,” Dekker said. “It’s his birthday too

so he’s got a little extra pep in his step. That was a sweet ﬁnish.” On the back of Brust’s 16 first-half points and a team shooting percentage of 64 percent, the Badgers went to the locker room with a comfortable 45-25 lead. “You can’t spot the No. 4 ranked team in the country 20 points and in the second half think you’re going to have a chance to really cut into a team like Wisconsin,” UW-Milwaukee head coach Rob Jeter said. The Panthers made an early second-half push making their first six of seven shots from the ﬂoor while Milwaukee’s Kyle Kelm did his best to keep the deficit within reach putting up eight points in the final half and a teamhigh 17 for the game. Brust and Wisconsin’s offense couldn’t keep up with its first-half pace — going 1-13 (7.7

percent) from beyond the arch — while the senior guard was held to just two points in the final 20 minutes. Wisconsin was able to keep distance with Milwaukee by finding points in the paint, scoring 22 of its 38 points in the lane in the second half. “I thought we worked extremely hard in the post,” head coach Bo Ryan said. “We knew we were in for a battle inside.” The Badgers’ big post presence, tough defense and opportunistic offense scored 28 points off turnovers to seal Wisconsin’s 11th win of the season. “I thought defensively we did a good job of getting our hands on some passes and creating some turnovers,” Ryan said. “I thought our guys did a pretty good job of

WINS, page 15

Entering its second of six-straight home series, the Wisconsin men’s hockey team looks to extend its two–game winning streak against a familiar foe. The Badgers will take on former WCHA rival Colorado College (210-3, 2-5-3 NCHC) this weekend after earning their first pair of wins in the newly formed Big Ten ice hockey conference. While they are no longer foes fighting for valuable conference points, the players believe the nonconference matchup will not lose any of its usual intensity. “We have a good rivalry with Colorado College and they are certainly a good team, so we are looking forward to having them come in here,” senior defenseman Joe Faust said. “Every single game means something.” Last season, CC swept UW in the Kohl Center in the first series of November as the Badgers suffered a 5-4 overtime loss in game one and were shutout in a 3-0 CC victory in game two. This season the Tigers have struggled to record wins, earning just their second of the season last weekend against NebraskaLincoln. But Wisconsin head coach Mike Eaves is not counting on an easy series for his team, saying CC is much better than their current record indicates. “Quite honestly I’m surprised to see their record be what it is. We’re trying to do some homework to see what’s going on there,” Eaves said. “They had a pretty successful weekend last weekend and they got some momentum. They are coming in here to play us, a former rival. They are going to be all juiced up, so we need to be ready for them.” For Wisconsin, the wins against PSU came at a much-needed juncture in the season, just a week

after dropping two games to a then-ranked No. 1 Minnesota. The Badgers game came out Friday night with a decisive 7-1 victory in a game Eaves said was much less pretty than the score showed. Saturday was a different story as the Badgers and Nittany Lions battled back and forth before UW came out on top with a 4-3 win and a much better performance. Sophomore forward Nic Kerdiles tallied four points on the weekend including the gamewinning third period goal Saturday night. While the season has been one of personal accomplishment for Kerdiles, who is tied with senior forward Michael Mersch for most points at 14, the past weekend’s series served as a momentum boost for the entire team. “Anytime you can get two wins under you belt, especially at home, it helps a lot,” senior forward and assistant captain Jefferson Dahl said. “Now that we are getting into games backto-back weekends it is definitely a plus too.” Beyond Kerdiles, several Badgers who have not regularly graced the score charts made significant contributions and will be looking to extend their success come Friday against the Tigers. Senior forward Sean Little recorded his sixth goal as a Badger Saturday along with a play-making assist off a hard hit. Freshman Badgers Grant Besse and Jedd Soleway each earned a point on the series, with a goal and assist respectively Friday, and are continuing to make strides in Eaves’ eyes. Eaves specifically noted in his Monday press conference the play of Faust, who he believes is playing the best hockey of his career thus far. Faust is tied for second-most assists on the season with seven. After a goal Saturday, his current eight-point

COLORADO, page 15

UW volleyball in midst of special tourney run Lee Gordon Volleyball Writer The Wisconsin volleyball team will leave the comfort of its own gym for the ﬁ rst time this NCAA tournament for a matchup against No. 16 Florida State in UW’s ﬁrst round of 16 since 2006 Friday in Champaign, Ill. With Florida State taking out in-state rival No. 5 Florida and Purdue knocking off No. 4 Missouri, the 12th-seeded Badgers are the only seeded team left in its region. However, the three other squads in the region, which consist of Florida State, Purdue and host Illinois, were all ranked in the top 20 in the last poll of the season. Head coach Kelly Sheffield said this section of the bracket will be a “gladiator session” with the high level of play the teams have reached. “All four of these teams

came in playing their best volleyball,” Sheffield said. “To me, that makes it a lot more exciting … you’ve got four teams that all feel like they’re King Tut – that’s how it should be.” Sheffield said the Florida State offense is diverse and quick and that the entire team has solid post-season experience – the Seminoles reached its first NCAA tournament Final Four in 2011, and the current team has four players from that roster. Florida State owns a 1-2 record against Big Ten teams this season, falling to Illinois and Ohio State and beating Michigan. Sheffield said one of the biggest tests his team will face this Friday is against Florida State’s aggressive and huge front row, a unit that averages 2.77 blocks per set – good for 21st in the nation. “They’re going to be a handful, especially up there at the net,” Sheffield said. “It’s going to be a

challenge for our players to be able to A. slow them down and B. for us to score points against them because they’re big. They look good – they’re legit.” Freshman setter Lauren Carlini also praised the physicality of the Seminoles’ front line. She compared the Florida State front row to Michigan State and Minnesota, teams that Wisconsin has beaten this season. Carlini said the keys to beating Florida State’s defensive concrete wall is serving tough, hitting smart shots and working around the block. The Big Ten Freshman of the Year said it’s been easy of late, working with an offense that hit better than .400 in each of its first two tournament matches. “Our passing has been almost spot-on,” Carlini said. “It’s been pretty easy for me to distribute the ball and kind of get a

balanced offense going. I think that’s one of the important parts to our game plan.” Both Carlini and junior outside hitter Ellen Chapman were named to the Northeast All-Region team for last weekend’s performances. Carlini accumulated 79 assists, nine digs and eight kills in the two matches, and Chapman tallied 26 kills while hitting .390. White hot Florida State is currently riding an eight match winning streak, with six of those contests resulting in sweeps. But Carlini said Wisconsin is feeling just as assured in its chances on Friday. “We’re really confident as a team,” Carlini said. “We’re starting to get a little bit of swag about us. We just swept two really good ball clubs. Everyone’s just really pumped about how far Kelsey Fenton The Badger Herald

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In the NCAA round of 32, junior Ellen Chapman led the way for UW with 14 kills.