bair.org
Winter 2013
Caregiver Reality Check
A
s a kinship caregiver, you have to be realistic about what can and can’t be controlled. The first step is taking ownership of your caregiver role and admitting that it might be a long-term commitment. This acknowledgement allows you to plan and seek help. The National Family Caregivers Association has reported that this simple shift in attitude can have a profound impact on your situation. By accepting and putting a name on it, you will be less inclined to set yourself up for stress and emotions that prevent you from seeking help.
Think of caregiving as a marathon, not a sprint. Marathoners get through a race by pacing themselves and getting sustenance and water along the way. A lot of people throw themselves into a “caregiving frenzy” that quickly leads to emotional and physical burnout. Set your pace for a long race and accept the reality that you will need help along the way. Be Realistic. Think Positive. Your attitude can be the biggest barrier to taking care of yourself and doing the best job in caring for the new addition to your home. Your mind will believe what you tell it. Tell it that you’re a kinship caregiver, that you need to stay healthy, that you have rights and that you will do the best you can but you’ll have to find help for certain things.
Being realistic and thinking positive are easier if you: • Take ownership of your role as a caregiver. “I am a kinship caregiver. It’s a tough job, but I can do it.” • Pace yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Seek help along the way. • Admit your feelings, whether they are sorrow, anger, resentment or fear. Get help if you can’t control them. • Admit when you need help. Seek help and ask for specific things. • Listen to your body and respond. When it needs food, exercise, rest or medical attention, make sure to give it what it needs. • Organize your resources to allow time for your personal life. Keep living. • Communicate with other caregivers. They’ll understand what you’re going through and offer comfort and help. • Stick to the present. Do what you have to do today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. *Adapted from ‘Caregiver Reality Check,’ American Heart Association, Inc. Feb 21, 2012.