Our Adoption Issue!
The Muir Family By: Sara Muir, New Wilmington, PA
W
e are the Muir family. This picture is the 2016 version. Our family up to this point, has been more of a dynamic process, than a static entity. As I look back over the years, our family photos have morphed as we gave birth to one, and then two, baby boys; as we grieved the loss of one unborn child; as we gave birth to our first daughter; as we became parents to twenty different children through foster care; and then as we adopted our youngest two daughters, and then our youngest son. People often ask why we chose to foster and adopt. To me, the answer is simple. There are children who are in need of a home and a family; we have a home and a family to fill this need. Foster care and adoption was never about finding more children for our family, it was always about providing a family for our children. When we were initially certified as foster parents in 2011, our biological children were 5, 7, and 8 years old. We had no expectations or assumptions about what the foster care journey would hold for us. Two hours after receiving our foster care certification in the mail, we received a call to bring two toddlers into our family. We loved these two for a year before they returned home to their mom. From there, we were foster parents to many other children. Some stayed a few days, some many months. Saying goodbye is hard. Being a child, shuffled from one home to another, is harder. As I look at pictures from this time in our life, two faces stand out in particular. After leaving our home-our 16 year old former foster son was murdered by gun violence, and our 15 year old former foster daughter took her own life. Being a foster parent is hard. Being a youth who has to face poverty, gun violence, and the dark road of mental health is harder.
In a perfect world, foster parents would not be needed. Children and families would stay together. My three adopted children miss their birth parents, and long to be with them- it is our hope and intention that there will be meaningful contact in the future. Being an adoptive parent is hard. Being an adopted child is harder. No matter how hard the good-byes are, no matter how stressful the constant change in family dynamic is-it pales in comparison to the heartache of a child without a family. It is a privilege to be able to stand in the gap. If you’ve ever considered foster care or adoption, and have said “but I don’t think I could…let them go”, “say goodbye”, “deal with the system”, “etc.”, ask these questions instead. Do I have a home? Can I love a child? Can I be the one to stand in the gap? Can I be the one to give, in order for a child to receive? You may not feel ready. We weren’t ready; God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. If you are willing to walk through the doors that are opened to you with faith, you will do great things. Children need families. If they cannot remain with their birth families, they need foster and adoptive families. Not everyone can be a foster or adoptive family. But maybe you can? I went out to the local market, one chilly and sunny October afternoon to buy apples. I came home with my forever daughters. I went to work one ordinary September day. I came home with my forever son. Life is full of extraordinary moments that are mixed in with the ordinary days. Your heart, your open and willing heart, may be the difference. You could stand in the gap for a child.
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” - Psalm 68:5