Kinship Connection

Fall/Winter 2019

A Tack Room Christmas facebook.com/thetackroomministry

The Tack Room hosted another beautiful Tack Room Christmas this year, where families came to pick up Tack Sacks filled with Christmas presents for Kinship children. Millie Lewis organizes this event each year with such care that each Kinship Family that receives a Tack Sack cannot help but know the love behind the hands that prepared it.

We at Bair are so grateful for the people who give of their own resources and time to bless others!

The Tack Room has partnered with The Bair Foundation faithfully over the years, blessings families year after year with

their love and support. If you are a caregiver and need clothes or supplies for your kinship placement, please contact Millie Lewis, Director at the Tack Room, by phone/text (828) 777-6033 or by email at millie@the-tack-room. org or www.the-tack-room.org.

-Millie Lewis Founder The Tack Room

This year Toys for Tots chose to partner for a 2nd year in a row with The Bair Foundation in reaching out to Kinship families and children, as well as those in foster care. The mission of the program "is to collect new, unwrapped toys during October, November and December each year, and distribute those toys as Christmas gifts to needy children in the community in which the campaign is conducted."

We are so grateful for Toys for Tots and their efforts to help children in need experience the wonderful joys of Christmas.

What is Bair & What is Kinship?

Bair’s Asheville Location at Garfield Street

Kinship

T

he Bair Foundation is a child and family ministry with over 50 years of experience in the field of child welfare. Our Asheville office has been providing therapeutic foster care to local abused and neglected youth for the past four years.

We recruit and retain quality homes in Asheville and the surrounding areas that are able to provide structure, stability, safety, and love to children in the foster care system. The Bair Foundation actively recruits teen homes and families who are willing to take sibling groups, as that is where the need is greatest. The objective of our ministry is to strengthen families and ultimately provide permanency for these children, either through returning home, foster-to-adopt, legal guardianship, or kinship care.

Kinship Care is a program designed to help support a child who resides outside of his or her own home, either temporarily or for the long term, with a relative, godparents, stepparents or any adult who has a “kinship bond” with a child. Kinship Care is an option that allows a child to grow into adulthood in a familiar family environment instead of being placed in foster care.

Resources

Women, Infants & Children (WIC) www.buncomecounty.org/wic

Women, Infants and Children (WIC) Supplemental Nutrition Program is designed to improve the health and well-being of low-income pregnant, breastfeeding and postpartum women, infants and children up to age five who are at nutritional risk by providing: • Nutrition education • Breastfeeding Education and Support • Referrals for Health Care • Free Language Assistance

Did you know if you qualify for Medicaid or Food Assistance you will automatically qualify for WIC? You can apply for Medicaid and food assistance online at epass.nc.gov or come into our office at 7 Yorkshire Street, Asheville NC. For more information, including benefit guidelines, visit buncombecounty.org/wic.

THANK YOU Kinship families for providing transitional care for your “kin” while their biological parents complete the steps necessary so their children can return home.

Questions?

Valarie Murphy-Taylor, Kinship Coordinator The Bair Foundation 30 Garfield St., Suite F, Shop D6 Asheville, NC 28803 (828) 350-5197 (877) 213-0723 toll free (828) 350- 5199 fax email: vmurphytaylor@bair.org Buncombe County Dept. of Social Services 40 Coxe Avenue, PO Box 7408 Asheville, NC 28802 (828) 250-5500 (828) 250-6235 fax If you would like to help/give/hold a donation drive please contact Valarie!

Macaroni Kid https://asheville.macaronikid.com

Are you and the kiddos ready to break out of the house? Macaroni Kid is a great resource if you are looking for some local activities that are going on in your community! Macaroni Kid is a free weekly newsletter and website that delivers news on all the kid and family friendly events going on locally. Go to the website and sign-up so that you can have the scoop on planning your family fun!

Featuring: Articles/Events and Guides for the Greater Asheville Area!

facebook.com/thebairfoundationnc

Temper Tantrums!

Tantrums (By Elizabeth Pantley, author of “Kid Cooperation and Perfect Parenting.” © 2002 Elizabeth Pantley Got cabin fever? You're not alone. Being stuck indoors all winter will make anyone antsy and irritable. Everyone is ready and eager to go outside (parents and children alike).

However, sometimes the behavior of our child can make us think twice about stepping out into a public place. Elizabeth Pantley offers some guidance on handling problem behaviors such as tantrums:

Nathan, a tantrum is when you are very angry and scream and cry and stamp your feet. From now on, when you have a tantrum we want you to do it in the bedroom with the door closed. No one will bother you while you have your tantrum. You can have as long a tantrum as you like, or may choose to read a book or play quietly. You can come out of the room when you are done.

Tantrums are normal, natural and inevitable. But they aren’t any fun!

Step 3: Follow Through.

When your child has a How do parents usually tantrum lead him or guide deal with tantrums? him to the Tantrum Place.

If an older child won’t go, A. they give in, offer a choice: You can go B. they yell or threaten, or lose a privilege. Then C. they spank, or often, calmly say, you may come D. they throw a tantrum out when you’re done. of their own!

Return him to the room if he comes out early saying, Having a plan in advance oh, you’re not done yet. You is the best way to deal may have to do this often at with tantrums. Like many first, but the tantrums will aspects of parenting, the die off quickly because of more prepared you are, the lack of attention they the better you can handle get. the situation, and the easier it is to keep your When it’s over, it’s over. own anger under control. Don’t feel the need to lecture, teach, or moralize The Plan of Action afterwards!

Step 1: Pick a tantrum place. Decide where all future tantrums will take place. Pick a private, small, safe room like a bedroom, bathroom or laundry room.

When children feel angry, frustrated or helpless, the result is often a tantrum. Little kids kick, scream and flop on the ground. Big kids yell and lose control. Step 2: Explain the new rule to your child at a calm and quiet time.

What about tantrums away from home? Many children have learned to throw tantrums away from home because Mom and Dad don’t enforce the rules out in public. You must bite the bullet a few times in order to put a quick

end to this behavior. Take a deep breath, ignore the onlookers and follow this plan: Step 1: Give a choice. You can stop this behavior, or we can leave the store. Wait, just a moment, and then: Step 2: Change the location. Oh, see you’ve decided to leave the store. At this point you have several choices, depending on the child’s behavior, your schedule and your mood.

You can either have a time out in the car [while you stand outside the car and ignore him] or you can go home.

One father of a three-yearold said that with his busy schedule this would be just impossible! I pointed out that he could take the time now or live through public tantrums until his daughter was sixteen!

[Tantrums need an audience to be effective.]

Elizabeth Pantley

Free Tax Assistance with AARP Tax-Aide™ AARP Foundation Tax-Aide™ in cooperation with the IRS, NC Department of Revenue, Buncombe County Library System and Council on Aging, Inc. will offer free tax preparations for taxpayers of low and moderate income, with special attention to those 60 and older.

This service will be available from February 3 through April 15, 2020 at sites listed below. Both Federal and NC tax returns will be electronically filed. Be sure to bring all necessary paperwork and documents so the staff will be able to help you.

LOCATIONS AND HOURS:

Taxpayers should bring the following documents: •Photo I.D. for taxpayer and spouse •Social Security cards or equivalent for ALL taxpayers and dependents •Proof of health insurance coverage: Forms 1095A, B or C; Marketplace exemption letter •Copy of last year’s income tax return •Income documents—Forms W2, SSA, 1099R, 1099G W2G, other 1099 forms, self-employment income, or documents relating to any other income

Pack Library: 67 Haywood Street Wednesday 10am-4pm (please sign in before 3pm)

•Brokerage statements—sale of stock and bonds

Brookside Church: 90 Griffee Road Thursday 10am - 4pm

•Educational expenses •If you want to itemize expenses you will need: Detailed list and receipts for medical expenses, charitable contributions, real estate taxes and mortgage interest (form 1098)

Black Mountain Library: 105 N Dougherty Street Date and time has not been established as of yet!

Questions and requests for homebound individuals can be directed to the Buncombe County Council on Aging at 828-277-8288.

•For direct deposit of refund, you will need a check or deposit slip from your bank with the routing number for your account.

Big Brothers & Big Sisters of WNC

Dial 2-1-1 United Way’s 2-1-1 of Western North Carolina is a community service information line that links people to health and human services in Buncombe, Henderson, Madison, McDowell and Transylvania counties.

2-1-1 service is free, confidential and available 24/7 with interpreters. Whether you want to find or give help, trained referral specialists are available to answer your call and identify the right resources for you.

(828) 253-1470

MISSION

WHAT THEY DO

The mission of Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Western North Carolina is to transform children’s lives through mentoring and support services. Big Brothers Big Sisters looks to develop and enhance positive personal growth through these one-on-one mentoring relationships.

Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Western North Carolina selects adult volunteers and AmeriCorps members and matches them with children facing adversity to serve as mentors for the children. To foster a successful match relationship and a lasting connection between a child and mentor, the organization encourages a team approach by providing ongoing activities, training, and support services for adult mentors, parents/guardians, and participating children. Volunteers are all screened by a national criminal background check, have a personal interview with BBBS staff, references, and mentor training. Parents/Guardians approve the match before a decision is made and also approve all outings.

Big and Littles share fun activities such as: playing sports, arts and crafts, outdoor activities, volunteering and local attractions. The organization strives to help youth increase social skills, self-confidence, and academic skills, and broaden their vision for their future.