"Choose Your Own Adventure!" by Yohanna Ostrowski (pg

By Yohanna Ostrowski

DISCLAIMER: The fictional content reflected herein is a creative construction that in no way reflects the moral conduct of the excellent Bishop Allen student body, the professionalism of our very fine staff and the generosity of its superlative administrative team.

Beginning:

Your best friend invites you to a party on Saturday night that lots of people are going to and it’s supposed to be a great time. Your initial plan for the weekend was to stay home and study for your Calculus and Vectors exam on Monday. You decide to 1. Go to the party, save the studying for Sunday (Go to paragraph 1A) OR 2. Stay home and study, the parties can wait until Wasaga (Go to paragraph 1B)

Paragraph 1A:

You go to the party and have a great time! At the end of the night, you realize your designated driver is highly intoxicated. Your curfew is 2:00 AM, and you have to get home somehow to avoid getting in trouble with your parents. Since this is a Mississauga bush party, transit is out of the question, making your only other option to take an Uber, which costs $80! You decide to 1. Let your designated driver take you home, they’re only high so it’s fine (Go to paragraph 2A) OR 2. Call the Uber, your bank account can take the damage (Go to paragraph 2B)

Paragraph 1B:

You stay home and study like a good student. The next morning, you sadly scroll through everyone's posts from the night before. Suddenly, the person you’ve had a crush on since Grade 9 who was at the party, DM’s you! They explain to you that, since they were at the party, they had no time to study and really need your help. Because they’re in the third-period Calculus and Vectors class and you’re in the first-period class, they ask if you could give them your answers during lunch since your teacher is lazy and never makes different exams for the different classes. You decide to 1. Help them cheat, what’s the worst that could happen? (Go to paragraph 2C) OR 2. Politely tell them no, you gotta prioritize your academic success over theirs. (Go to paragraph 2D)

Paragraph 2A:

You and everyone in the car end up in a tragic accident and die. The school proceeds to hold a bunch of tedious “Don’t Drink And Drive” assemblies in your honour. You and your friends as the school's pity story for the next 20 years until someone else messes up worse than you guys did. The End! Don’t

like the ending? Go back and choose another!

Paragraph 2B:

You got home alive and on time! But now it’s Sunday night, and you only have a couple of hours before that first period Calculus And Vectors exam and you really, really, really need to study! You decide to 1. Stay up all night and cram, sleep is for the weak (Go to paragraph 3A) OR 2. Sleep, you’ll study in the morning (Go to paragraph 3B)

Paragraph 2C:

You help your crush, and you both end up doing well! Your crush does so well that they end up going to the university that was your first choice! For some reason, you never get an offer from that university and have to go the rest of your high school career knowing that you goofed up. The End! Don’t like the

ending? Go back and choose another!

Paragraph 2D:

You reply to them saying you can’t and they leave you on “seen”! You’re a little heartbroken after that, but find someone else to like after your crush fails their exam and ends up having to do a fifth year of high school. The End! Don’t like

the ending? Go back and choose another!

Paragraph 3A:

After staying up all night, you sleep through all your alarms! You hustle to school, looking like an absolute mess, but manage to write the exam on time! You end up doing well on the exam, and to celebrate, you go out next Saturday and drink enough alcohol to intoxicate a small village! You then lived happily ever after till the end of your high school career! The End! Don’t like

the ending? Go back and choose another!

Paragraph 3B:

Your sleep was great, but you barely managed to get through the first unit of Vectors on the bus! You can’t afford to fail this exam, since you really need it to help boost your mark. If you do badly in the class, there’s no way the university you want to go to will accept you into their engineering program! The bell rings for first period, and you have to act fast, you decide to 1. Take the exam, maybe if you pray hard enough you’ll get over a 50% (Go to paragraph 4A) OR 2. Pull the fire alarm, no one will know it was you (Go to paragraph 4B)

Paragraph 4A:

You write the exam and end up failing miserably. After begging and pleading with your teacher, you manage to work out a deal that if you tutor some of the teacher’s Grade 9 students, your teacher won’t count the exam toward your final grade. You agree and spend the rest of your high school career tutoring snotty-nosed Grade 9s until the end of June. The End! Don’t like the ending?

Go back and choose another!

Paragraph 4B:

You pull the fire alarm and get caught immediately. Guess the school didn’t have enough money for a prom, but enough for all those discreet security cameras in the halls. You go through the whole suspension process and end up only being accepted into your second choice university after the incident. The End! Don’t like the ending? Go back and choose another!