Baltimore Gay Life August 2014

AUGUST 2014 BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.

e r A e W u th o Y e th he t s e r a sh k o o h t b u o y New Q BT G L f o stories ss America acro

12 FARMERS MARKETS

13 3 NEW PLAYS

26 LGBTQ 101

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

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IN THIS GAY LIFE Feature

LGBT Youth 14 15 15

Book Review: We Are the Youth by Anthony Moll LGBT Youth Resources by Querin Brown HIV and the Younger Generation

by Justin B. Terry-Smith

10 Departments LOCAL LIFE

6 6

GLCCB August News GLCCB Hosts Town Hall by Steve Charing

HIGH LIFE

8 9 9

Local Farmers Markets in Full Bloom by John Cullen The Baltimore Playwrights Festival by Timoth David Copney DiningOUT: The Owl Bar by John Cullen and Marty Shayt

REAL LIFE

16 18

National & International News by Rachel Roth Baltimore Local News by Steve Charing

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

OUR LIFE 20 20 21 22

NEW column: out-skirts by Danielle Ariano Spilling the Tea by Carlton R. Smith College is the Place by Courtney Beddell Spiritual In-To-Me-I-See (Spiritual Intimacy) by Coach Maq ElĂŠ

BETTER LIFE

22

Financial Tips: Caring for Aging Parents by Amanda Wooddell

SOCIAL LIFE

24 Datebook by Rachel Roth 26 BScene: King and Queen of Pride 2014/2015 Photos by Eric Randolph

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

3

EDITOR’S LIFE

GLBT Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland Serving the LGBT Community of Maryland for 35 years

1000 Cathedral St. • Baltimore, MD 21201 • 410.777.8145 • GLCCB.org

All programming is now located on the 3rd floor of the Waxter Center building at 1000 Cathedral Street. For more information please visit www.glccb.org.

Trans Programs

Women’s Programs

AKANNI

SILHOUETTE

A safe, respectful, confidential environment where all transmen can share their story and their journey.

2nd Wednesdays - 6pm vmillhouse@blacktransmen.org BlackTransmen.org

BALTIMORE TRANSMASCULINE ALLIANCE

A support group for trans* men (FTM).

3rd Thursdays - 6:30pm BTMA@glccb.org

TRAN*QUILITY

A support group for trans* women (MTF), but anyone who varies from traditional gender expression is welcome.

2nd & 4th Saturdays - 8pm Tranquility@glccb.org

Recovery ACCESS TO RECOVERY

Care-coordinators will offer recovery support services for LGBT individuals.

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 2-7pm Please contact Latif Karim at outreach.latifkarim@gmail.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS LGBTQ centered AA recovery groups, welcoming to all.

Mondays - 7:15pm Thursdays - 8:30pm Saturdays - 6:30pm

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

WOMEN OF COLOR

A safe, confidential, and supportive space for LBTQ women of all colors.

2nd, 4th, & 5th Thursdays - 7:30pm WOC@glccb.org Meetup.com/Baltimore-LesbiansOf-Color

Youth & Young Adult Programs RAINBOW YOUTH ALLIANCE BALTIMORE

A support, social, and discussion group for LGBTQ teens and allies ages 13-19, in partnership with PFLAG Baltimore.

Tuesdays - 7-9pm RYABaltimore@gmail.com Facebook.com/groups/ RYABaltimore

MIXED COMPANY

(QUEER YOUNG ADULT GROUP) A discussion, support, and social group for young adult LGBT identified or questioning individuals and their allies.

Tuesdays - 5:30-6:30pm Facebook.com/groups/GLCCB. mixed.co

Men’s Rap group for men in recovery.

Sundays - 11:30am

Community Programs

Health & Wellness

POZitive PEOPLE

BEGINNERS’ YOGA

Gentle beginners’ yoga with instructor Tim Hurley, RYT. $9 Sundays - 3:30pm

HIV & SYPHILIS TESTING

FREE and confidential testing from the Baltimore City Health Dept.

Wednesdays - 5-8pm

continued in next column u

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SILhouette (Spiritually In-tuned Lesbians) is a spiritual community of women who love women desiring to discover, embrace and live as their spiritual-authentic self.

1st and 3rd Tuesdays - 7pm

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

New Voices & Vantage Points Happy August!

This month marks my one-year anniversary of becoming the editor of Gay Life. The past twelve months have definitely been a learning curve, and I’m tremendously proud of the content we’ve given to Baltimore’s LGBT community. I like to think of our lil’ ole magazine as a combination of lifestyle offerings and community prose. Indeed, over the past twelve months, we’ve tried to create a diverse set of voices from our community, while still delivering the local arts and entertainment coverage and news offerings you know and love. It’s a pretty good mix, but I’m looking to expand even more.

Our publication is created, in large part, by community volunteers. That means countless writers, photographers and designers give their time and energy to create each month’s publication. It’s a herculean effort, and I’m incredibly thankful to everyone who contributes in getting Gay Life on the

streets (and online!) each month.

We are always looking for new voices and ways to improve our publication. Later this month, I will be re-forming our magazine committee. I’d like to include as many different vantage points from the community as possible. If you’re interested in volunteering your time and talents to Gay Life, please email me at editor@baltimoregaylife, or call our offices at (410) 777-8145.

I look forward to hearing from you all!

Dan McEvily Editor

On the Cover Robin, from Las Vegas, is one of many LGBTQ youth featured in We Are the Youth, a new book with photos by Laurel Golio and profiles by Diana Scholl. See page 10.

FACEBOOK.COM/GLCCB • TWITTER.COM/GLCCB • YOUTUBE.COM/THEGLCCB

A free, weekly, peer-led support group for HIV-positive individuals in the LGBT community.

Wednesdays - 7-8pm POZpeople@glccb.org

BOOK CLUB

A welcoming book club for LGBTQ individuals to discuss selected readings. Due to snow cancellation last month, the selection will again be Local Souls by Allan Gurganus 3rd Mondays - 7pm Facebook.com/ groups/139583666184199

The GLCCB is the publisher of Gay Life and the producer of Baltimore Pride

Dan McEvily, Editor

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.

1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410.777.8145 Phone 410.777.8135 Fax sales@baltimoregaylife.com www.baltimoregaylife.com

editor@baltimoregaylife.com

Cory Burgess, Art Director National Advertising Rep.

cory@coryburgess.com Rivendell Media, 212.242.6863

Contributors

Danielle Ariano, Courtney Bedell, Querin Brown, Steve Charing, Timoth David Copney, John Cullen, Coach Maq Elè, Kelly Neel, Rachel Roth, Marty Shayt, Carlton R. Smith, Justin B. Terry-Smith, Amanda Wooddell

Photographers

John Kardys, Samatra Johnson, Kelly Neel, Eric Randolphn, Richelle Taylor, Jay W.

Gay Life is a publication of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland (GLCCB). Gay Life is published monthly in Baltimore, Md., with distribution throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. Copyright 2014. All Rights Reserved. Gay Life is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Gay Life or its publisher.

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

5

LOCAL LIFE

Spirited Discussion at GLCCB Town Hall by

Steve Charing

T

GLCCB August News by

KELLY NEEL Interim Executive Director, The GLCCB

H

ello Baltimore. I’d like to thank everyone who attended last month’s town hall meeting at the GLCCB. It was an enlightening experience hearing the community’s concerns first hand. We have heard what you had to say, and now it’s on us as an organization to start making the necessary changes to revive both the Center and Baltimore Pride. I want to reiterate that we need you and your opinions to help guide us in the right direction.

It is time to start proactively involving the community in our decisions moving forward and I will make it a priority of mine to establish a voice for the community. I know many of you may argue that, “talk is cheap,” but I am determined to address your concerns.

Our plan of action starts now. We’ve made our board application available online at GLCCB.org. I encourage anyone who wants to make a positive change in our organization to apply.

We plan to continue holding meetings with the community throughout the upcoming months, both relating to Baltimore Pride

2015 and what we need to do to build the GLCCB into a viable, active community center that serves and represents everyone.

I am planning to hold a public meeting to address the needs of the community and to start mending our relationships. We’re planning to hold this on a Wednesday evening towards the end of August in our space on the 3rd floor of the Waxter Center (1000 Cathedral Street). Once we solidify a date, I will distribute it via our email lists, social media channels, and to the programs that meet at the Center. I will continue to reach out to community members to ask them to help spread the word as well.

Again, my door is always open. You can reach me at kneel@glccb.org or via telephone at (410) 777-8145. Or, stop by the Center. We’re open Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm.

It’s going to be a long road to revitalizing the Center, but I am confident that, with your help, we can build it into something our entire community can be proud of.

here was some heat and a bit of a storm on the night of July 23 but we’re not referring to the weather outside the Waxter Center, the new home of The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of Baltimore (GLCCB). What was billed as a town hall meeting to provide feedback concerning the Pride celebration on the weekend of June 14-15, the meeting morphed into a sometimes heated discussion of the broader issues regarding the GLCCB’s past and current lack of accountability and relevancy.

“Please understand that it takes a village to sustain our organization. In my short tenure at the GLCCB, I have found that this village—once thriving and involved—has become detached, indifferent, and apathetic,” said the Center’s interim executive director Kelly Neel in an open letter to the LGBT community published prior to the town hall. “I am here to ask for your help in bringing it back. It will take time, patience, and a lot of community elbow grease, but I’m confident that we can learn from our past mistakes and revive the bond between Baltimore’s LGBTQ community and its community center.”

She further stated that without community support, the Center will “cease to exist” resulting in the fact that “Baltimore Pride festivities will come to a screeching halt for the foreseeable future.” The GLCCB is inexorably linked to Pride as the non-profit has been the sole sponsor of the annual event for 35 years.

Neel sent out email invitations to the Center’s vast email list and through social media inviting people to the town hall and to complete a feedback survey.

Around 60 people showed up to listen to the Pride coordinators and GLCCB board members and to voice their concerns.

Continued on Page 27

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

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HIGH LIFE

Baltimore’s Farmers Markets are in Full Bloom by

JOHN CULLEN

T

here are an amazing number of Farmers’ Markets in and around Baltimore. If you haven’t been to one of these, summer is definitely a peak time (although most operate at least through Thanksgiving and some operate year round!) The markets typically operate weekend mornings, but you can find one in operation on just about any day of the week somewhere within a 30-minute drive of downtown Baltimore.

What you’ll find at these markets can surprise a first timer. In addition to seasonal produce—fresh fruit and veggies including pickles, heirloom tomatoes, and mushroom varieties that you’ll never find at the super market—you will also find flowers, plants, baked goods, cheeses, ready-to-eat goods, bee pollen, beef, lamb, bison, seafood, and musicians hoping that you’ll drop some money in their bucket.

Produce availability changes with the season. June is the big month for local strawberries; July and August are peak times for most types of fruits; and melons are available through September and October, which is also the best time for apples and pears.

The downtown Baltimore City Farmer’s Sunday Market, has been around since 1985 and is one of the largest farmers markets in Maryland. The Sunday Market operates every from April through December under the Jones Falls Expressway at Holliday and Saratoga streets, from 7am to noon. I’ve often arrived bright and early at 8am expecting it to be empty, only to find over 500 people already shopping!

The “32nd Street” Market, in the parking lot at E. 32nd Street and Barclay on the edge of Charles Village, has been operating regularly since 1980 every Saturday morning year round from 7am to noon and is the second largest farmers market in Baltimore.

Other markets in the city include one at the Museum of Industry off Key Highway on Saturdays from 9am to 1pm; Cross Keys (off of Falls Road) on Tuesdays from 10am to 2pm; and the Park Heights Market in the Pimlico Race track parking lot on Wednesdays from 9:30am to 2pm.

In Baltimore County, farmers markets include one in Catonsville on Wednesday from 10am to 1pm at 100 Bloomsbury Avenue; in Towson from 11am to 3pm at 17 Alleghany Avenue; in the Eastpoint Mall parking lot on Wednesdays from 10am to 2pm; at the Owings Mills Metro parking lot on Fridays from 4–7pm; and in Pikesville at 1700 Reisterstown Road on Tuesdays from 2–6pm.

Farmers market newbie advice: grab a parking spot where you can and enjoy walking through unfamiliar parts of the city—early morning is a good time for that! You’ll be amazed at how many people are there when the markets open at 7am!

Photo ops of people and colorful stands are abundant for photography buffs. Bring a sturdy bag with wide handles to hold your purchases. You’ll be doing a lot of walking and there may not be a lot of places to sit down, so make a point of wearing comfortable footwear.

The Mushroom Stand at Baltimore Farmers’ Market (open April through December) sells more than 15 types of organic, fresh mushrooms and cooked mushroom dishes

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

THEATRE SPOTLIGHT

Baltimore Playwrights Festival by

TIMOTH DAVID COPNEY

S

o, you’re an aspiring playwright. You’ve managed to translate the vision in your head to words on a page. Now what? If you live in the greater Baltimore area, you’re in luck.

There is an excellent venue that just might give you a shot at seeing your art come to life, in front of an audience, with real actors, lights, sets and all. It’s the Baltimore Playwrights Festival (BPF). The competition is fierce, but the process is fair. You submit your work, it’s read by an average of 20 or so readers who then give their assessment of the piece and 1) recommend it for a reading; 2) recommend it with reservations; or 3) not recommended (you want to try to avoid that distinction).

The BPF receives upwards of 75 plays every year. Of those, less than a quarter or so get the go-ahead for a staged reading. And fewer still of those lucky few get an actual production.

That’s important because it’s why the plays that make it to that point really deserve to be seen.

This year, three exceptionally talented writers will be sharing their work with the

Baltimore theatre community, all budding Baltimore area bards. With subject matters ranging from the Holocaust, to the life of R&B singer Sam Cooke, to the Israeli/ Palestinian conflict, they represent a broad spectrum of talented writers that we have the unique opportunity to support. Who knows?

Maybe one of them will be the next Yasmine Reza or Tennessee Williams.

The Soulman’s Soul by Joycelyn Walls, is based on the life of Gospel, Pop & Soul Singer, Sam Cooke. Set in 1950s & ‘60s Chicago, it follows the life of a popular, young black man who attains extreme celebrity singing Gospel, while desiring to cross over to pop music. It runs July 25–August 10 at Notre Dame of Maryland University Leclerc Hall.

Under the Poplar Trees by Rosemary Frisino Toohey, tells the tale of a Holocaust survivor who, years later, is still dealing with the death of his best friend while they were in a concentration camp. Catch this one August 14–31 at Fells Point Corner Theatre.

Fourteen Days In July, by Lewis Schrager, chronicles the historic Camp David talks between the Clinton administration and the leaderships of both the Palestinian and Israeli governments. It’s a unique glimpse into the strategy and psychology of the key players in the negotiations, performed August 15–31 at Notre Dame of Maryland University Leclerc Hall.

Miriam Bezinsky, Vice Chair of the BPF, has her hands in virtually every aspect of the Festival. Aptly handling the many details to keep the Festival going year to year, assisting the Chair and the Board, she is also directing one of the productions this year. She wrangles readers, reaches out to theatre heads, calms nervous writers and directors, and commits to all of it year after year. This festival provides an opportunity for Baltimore theatre goers to see original, home-grown productions by our local artists. It behooves us to support the efforts of folks like Miriam and organizations like the Baltimore Playwrights Festival. It’s a win for all of us.

BALTIMORE PLAYWRIGHTS FESTIVAL

BaltPlayFest.org

DINING OUT

The Owl Bar by

JOHN CULLEN with MARTY SHAYT

T

he Owl Bar, which opened in 1903, has reasonably priced food, as well as a classic, vintage interior. The main bar/dining room has 25-foot-high ceilings with intricately designed brick walls. There’s a 50-foot-long bar and about 20 tables in the main bar with another dozen or so tables in a couple of interesting anterooms.

The menu offers mostly reasonably priced bar fare for both lunch and dinner, including appetizers (most $8–10); entree salads ($9–12); soups ($7–8 for a good-sized bowl); pizzas ($9–15); and assorted sandwiches and burgers (most $10–12, $1 extra for fantastic fries). The menu also features five entrees ($15–24).

We started by sharing an order of nachos ($9) with our drinks (FYI—“house” wines and draught beers are just $3 during their 5 to 7pm happy hour). The nachos arrived in oversized bowls and the portion size was generous enough for five of us to share.

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

For the main course, Marty opted for a cheese and mushroom pizza ($10); John ordered the turkey burger and fries ($11); Bill asked for a club sandwich ($9) and added duck fat fries ($3); Ed got a bowl of Maryland crab soup ($7); while JT went with the Cobb salad ($11).

Marty’s pizza proved to be a bargain! The 10-inch pizza was wonderful and generously topped with cheese and mushrooms.

John’s spicy turkey “made here” sandwich was served on a great pretzel with hot fries—everything was delicious. Bill’s club sandwich was quite hearty. Marty tried both the regular and the duck fat fries and declared that the regular fries tasted better.

Ed’s bowl of Maryland crab was spicy good and full of veggies. It proved to be a meal unto itself. JT’s Cobb Salad was oversized and he fully enjoyed it.

Michael, the young man who waited on us,

provided first rate service while respectfully checking in to make sure we were happy campers. Regretfully, portion sizes were so generous that none of us could even consider dessert.

Marty and I were darn impressed with Owl Bar’s food, service, and historic atmosphere—it got our enthusiastic “Thumbs Up!”. If you’re looking for bar food with a side of history, you won’t go wrong at the Owl Bar!

THE OWL BAR

1 E. Chase St. in Mt. Vernon TheOwlBar.com Full Bar • Veggie Options Open 7 days a week for lunch and dinner Brunch on weekends • On-street parking.

Email DiningOut@BaltimoreGayLife.com and find all prior reviews at DiningOut4GayLife.Wordpress.com.

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

9

We Are

Anne

Omaha, NE

the

Youth BOOK REVIEW BY ANTHONY MOLL

We Are the Youth, a photojournalism project recently brought to book format by innovative publisher Space-Made, opens with a timeline and a forward that, almost accidentally, reveals immediately the heart of this book: queerness is not homogenous.

The four-year project leading up to this book began in the months tucked between the backhanded prom victory of Mississippi high school student Constance McMillen and the suicide of Rutgers student Tyler Clementi. Since then, the U.S. has seen a lot of statutory changes for LGBTQ people: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has been repealed; the president has come out in support of same-sex marriage; Tammy Baldwin was elected to the U.S. Senate; and the Defense of Marriage Act has been struck down by the Supreme Court, sending ripples of change throughout the country. Still, what do these victories mean for homeless youth in New York, or for a young, closeted immigrant living in the South? That is where this book succeeds. We Are the Youth leaps into the wide spectrum of identity and liberty for gender and sexual minorities, those for whom it has gotten better, and those for whom it has not.

In 39 portraits and nearly as many autobiographical profiles, this project examines the lives of LGBTQ youth across the country, from Boston to Oakland, with a heavy emphasis on the space in-between: Alabama, Georgia, Nebraska, etc. Even within each region, readers are offer brightly contrasting stories from each individual life. It is this contrast that co-creators Laurel Golio and Diana Scholl hit the mark of genuine diversity. Of course, the book includes the gamut of the biometric diversity our community has come to expect: race, immigration status, gender expression. These profiles dig deeper though: Quincy’s Alabama is nothing like Braxton’s. One subject is celebrated and welcomed by his fraternity brothers; the other carries a knife on campus and has been tossed from frat parties for being gay.

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

The book is foremost, a photobook. Golio hits the mark with these portraits, the collection a careful curation examining style, attitude and emotion among the profiled youth. Yet what the casual reader might miss if they fail to take a slow stroll through these photos is that many of them are also landscape photos. These environments are every bit a part of the story as the clothing each subject dons; Izabela’s grey Nebraska feels suffocating and lonely, and it is a world away from the chain-linked Oakland where Carter majors in women, gender and sexuality studies.

The written profiles, presented in the words of the subjects themselves, are an important accompaniment to the portraits.

It’s here readers witness the aforementioned variety of experiences. One trans man was his high school’s prom king. Another is a comic book nerd balancing coming out and his parents’ divorce. Starfire identifies as a queer, genderqueer and polyamorous former raver, while Ella, as a gay Christian, weighs what it means for her to wait until marriage in a nation that has yet to achieve marriage equality. As one might expect, there is a naivety in the voice of innocence that can at times be painful to read, but hidden in it are also poignant truths. Gems out of the mouths of babes, no doubt, but those who underestimate our communities’ youths will be surprised to read the words of young people with nuanced understandings of gender, intersectional identity, even the modern media landscape.

We Are the Youth does not hold back.

Although it slants the truth toward hope, it does not pretend that progress means the same thing to all LGBTQ youth. It doesn’t politicize experiences that are meant to be personal, and it doesn’t operate in stereotypes. Indeed, these are the youth, at times arrogant, at times lost, yet ready to surprise us at every turn.

We Are the Youth

by Laurel Golio and Diana Scholl Space-Made WeAreTheYouth.org/shop

Magda

Brooklyn, NY

Julius

Las Vegas, NV

Photos by Laurel Golio

Mahlon

Riverside, CA

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

LGBT Youth Resources

BY QUERIN BROWN

There are several groups and organizations that are being born out of a push for diversification and inclusion. They are aimed at support and education about issues that affect the LGBT community, especially youth.

YES

In a city where, according to the Mayor’s Office of Human Service, 4,088 individuals are homeless, a disproportionate amount of those are children. While LGBT youth comprise only 10% of the overall population, they encompass 20% of the homeless population, according to National Coalition for the Homeless statistics. To combat this, the Youth Empowerment Society (YES) opened last October with a focus on providing a safe space for youth, 14-25 years old, who are homeless or at-risk of homelessness. YES helps facilitate getting their needs met and making connections to important resources.

“YES has a goal to create their staff from their clients,” Program Director Lara Law said. “We will empower the youth to be our next leaders.” YES was founded by a group of individuals who were previously homeless in their youth and later went on to

become leaders at the Baltimore Homeless Youth Initiative (BHYI).

When asked how the community could best support the new organization, a host of great ideas where shared, to include sponsoring donation drives, fulfilling the Food Wish List (at www.bit.ly/yesfood), and community partnerships YES Drop-In Center 2315 N. Charles St., First Floor Baltimore, MD 21218 YesDropInCenter.org

GLSEN

Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) has had a national presence for over 20 years and founded its Baltimore chapter in 1998.

“GLSEN Baltimore is working within the community to improve the cultural climate in Baltimore schools, deliver professional development to young people, and training to create safe student spaces for educators,” said Jabari Lyles, co-chair of GLSEN Baltimore.

“We also partner with teachers, administrators, and student leaders to aid in creating gay-straight alliance groups where needed.”

The key to success, Jabari noted, is to build a cohesive, dynamic community for young people that allow them to stay connected,

share ideas and ask questions. Furthermore, GLSEN has partnered with local schools, including Friendship Academy, Mt. Royal Middle/Elementary, Hampstead Hill, and National Academy Foundation High School.

From Congress to the Department of Education, GLSEN is working inside and out of the system to affect change for our youth.

In a space where bullying and discrimination robs children of feeling respected and valued, GLSEN’s programs and partnerships are helping to fill that void. Its annual youth summits and diversity clubs help educate students on how to create empowering relationships with each other, as well as ways to get along and remove judgment.

GLSEN Baltimore 1902 Greenhaven Drive Baltimore, MD 21209 (410) 542-0472 glsenbaltimore@gmail.com

HI V and the Younger Generation

BY JUSTIN B. TERRY-SMITH

The children are our future. Yes, I know, it’s a cliché—but it’s true. When I speak of “children,” I mean the next generation of LGBTQAer’s who seem to now be focused on being AIDS-free instead of HIV-free. People are living longer with HIV in North America. We have virtually the same life expectancy as someone without HIV. Science has advanced so that this generation can potentially be the first one that will be AIDS-free. Truvada for PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) has come out as an risk reduction pill, which means that people have another option to help protect themselves from contracting the HIV virus.

With HIV incidents decreasing, there are more resources to protect ourselves against HIV. But there is a problem: HIV incidents nationally amongst young men who have sex with men are still increasing.

A Journal of the American Medical As-

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

sociation ( JAMA) report from the years of 2002-2011, reported that in 2011, 16 out of every 100,000 people ages 13 and older were newly diagnosed with HIV, a steady decline from 24 out of 100,000 people in 2002. But the diagnosis rate increased among MSMs ages 13-24, 45-54, and 55 years or older. The largest increase was seen among young men ages 13-24, for whom the diagnosis rate increased by 133 percent. But the overall number of diagnoses among MSMs remained stable due to a decrease among men ages 35 to 44 years.

I take my activism seriously and I try to be an example by taking care of myself and maintaining an open dialog with people who are not as educated on HIV/AIDS. But being 34 years old, I can’t help but look at those numbers and compare my generation to the statistics that are shown.

All I can say is that we must keep pushing

and making sure the younger generation gets the message that HIV is not a walk in the park. Yes—Truvada is available (but can cost up to $13,000 annually), and doctors at Temple University have successfully found a way to eliminate the HIV virus from cultured human cells, but the fight is far from over.

So go forward with hope. Hope that there will be an HIV/AIDS-free generation. Hope that MSM and others will no longer have to deal with the stigma, hate, or death that this disease seems to be associated with.

Justin B. Terry-Smith is a noted HIV and gay civil rights activist and the creator of ‘Justin’s HIV Journal,” a popular blog in which he shares his trials and tribulations of living with HIV. A U.S. Air Force veteran, Justin resides in Laurel, Md. with his husband, Dr. Philip Terry-Smith and their son Lundyn.

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

11

REAL LIFE IDAHO UNITED KINGDOM

UTAH

POLAND

CONNECTICUT

INDIANA KENTUCKY FLORIDA CALIFORNIA

HONDURAS UGANDA COLORADO MISSISSIPPI

AUSTRALIA

National & International News Obama to sign order protecting LGBTQ workers— without exemption NATIONWIDE

President Barack Obama signed an executive order prohibiting discrimination against gay and transgender workers in the federal government and its contracting agencies last month, without a new exemption that was requested by some religious organizations. Obama had been under pressure by 70 civil-rights groups, including the NAACP, to leave exemptions out of the order.

Judge strikes down Colo.’s marriage equality ban COLORADO

Adams County District Court Judge C. Scott Crabtree struck down Colorado’s marriage equality ban, determining that the ban violates the constitutional right of equal protection. Crabtree immediately stayed his ruling, meaning LGBT couples will still not be able to marry. “The final chapter of this debate will undoubtedly have to be written

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

either in Denver, Colorado or Washington, D.C.,” Crabtree wrote in his ruling. “While the striking down of laws banning same-sex marriages has been progressing at a rapid rate, it will take time for this issue to be finally resolved.”

by

RACHEL ROTH

issue of marriage equality has reached the bench since justices struck down part of the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8 last year.

Utah couples still in limbo

Major LGBT organizations drop support for ENDA over religious exemptions

UTAH

NATIONWIDE

More than 1,000 same-sex married couples in Utah must wait longer for state benefits after the U.S. Supreme Court granted the state a stay on an order requiring it to recognize the marriages. The high court said the stay will remain in place pending the outcome of the appeal to the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals. As Gay Life previously reported, Utah’s state’s same-sex marriage ban ruled unconstitutional in December and the couples rushed to get married. In May, a different federal judge ruled Utah must grant benefits—such as child custody—to those couples, but the decision was also put on hold.

If the Supreme Court does decide to take on the case, it will be the first time the

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) lost the support of several major LGBT rights groups, including Lambda Legal, the Transgender Law Center, the American Civil Liberties Union, Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights. ENDA, which has grown into one of the LGBT community’s top priorities, has faced criticism due to sweeping religious exemptions that could make the bill more likely to receive a vote in the Republican-controlled House of Representatives.

County Judge overturns Fla. Marriage ban FLORIDA

Florida’s ban on marriage equality was ruled unconstitutional on in a decision that applies only to the county that covers the Florida Keys. Six couples had filed a lawsuit challenging the ban and Circuit Judge Luis Garcia ordered that marriage licenses could be issued to same-sex couples. The office of Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi has announced that it intends to appeal the ruling.

Elsewhere in Florida, Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Sarah Zabel heard arguments in a lawsuit filed by six same-sex couples who are seeking marriage rights. The lawsuit was filed by Equality Florida and the National Center for Lesbian Rights on behalf couples seeking to overturn the state’s marriage equality ban. Former Gov. Charlie Crist, who is running against incumbent Rick Scott, also filed an amicus brief with the state circuit court that asks it to overturn Florida’s gay nuptials ban. The former Republican while in office backed the marriage amendment that voters approved in 2008.

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Same-sex marriage right retroactive in Conn.

CONNECTICUT

Connecticut’s highest court ruled that some legal rights of same-sex predate the state’s 2008 adoption of marriage equality and earlier approval of civil unions. The decision, which is the first of its kind, overturned lower court rulings and allowed a widow to sue a doctor for medical malpractice for the death of her wife. The alleged malpractice occurred before the state adopted marriage equality.

Marriage equality bans in Ind. And Ky. Struck down INDIANA & KENTUCKY

Indiana will not recognize marriages of same-sex couples who wed following a judge’s June 25 decision striking down the state’s ban on marriage equality and before a stay was issued June 27. A memo to state agencies from Mark Ahearn, chief counsel to Gov. Mike Pence, said Indiana’s ban on marriage equality “is in full force and effect and executive branch agencies are to execute their functions as though the U.S. District Court order of June 25 had not been issued,” The Indiana Star reported.

Similarly a federal judge ruled that Kentucky’s ban on marriage equality is unconstitutional, as it violates the right to equal protection. The judge also issued a stay of the ruling pending an appeal, which means that same-sex couples still cannot marry in the state.

Calif. governor signs marriage bill removing gender-specific terms

Hattiesburg by passing resolutions affirming all patrons are welcome. The Advocate also reported that Equality Mississippi is distributing stickers that proclaim, “We don’t discriminate: If you’re buying, we’re selling.”

Veteran sues state over spouse’s burial rights IDAHO

A lesbian widow in Idaho is suing the state to grant her burial rights in a veterans’ cemetery where her late spouse’s ashes have already been laid to rest. The Washington Blade reported that Madelynn Lee Taylor, a 74-year-old military veteran who served in the Navy from 1958 to 1964, filed a lawsuit in July challenging Idaho state laws prohibiting her from being buried in the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery with her late wife, Jean Mixner.

A new study conducted by the University of Melbourne in Australia finds that children of same-sex parents enjoy better levels of health and wellbeing than their peers from traditional family units.

Described as the largest study of its kind in the world, researchers surveyed 315 same-sex parents and 500 children about their physical health and social wellbeing, and found that in general, children of samesex partnerships do just about the same as children of the general population on most health categories like “emotional behavior and physical functioning.”

The British Dance Council is considering a proposal that would ban same-sex couples from mainstream competitions, instead creating same-sex-only categories, the Guardian reported. The proposed rule would recognize partnerships as “one man and one lady … unless otherwise stated.”

The council’s president says that so far he’s heard more support for the change than opposition. If the proposal is enacted, it would prevent the current leaders in the over-35 pre-championship category, John Church and Alex Lewall, from defending their title.

POLAND

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

Study: Children raised by samesex couples happier, healthier

UNITED KINGDOM

Calif. Gov. Jerry Brown on Monday signed a bill into law to replace the words “husband” or “wife” with “spouse” in the state’s constitution. The elimination of the phrasing is said to represent the removal of a final barrier to marriage equality since the 2013 Supreme Court ruling that declared Proposition 8’s marriage equality ban unconstitutional.

A law took effect in Mississippi last month that allows business owners to cite their religious beliefs in order to refuse services to LGBT people. Mississippi’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act was passed in April and is facing challenges from several Mississippi cities, including Jackson and

In Honduras, the top priority of LGBT rights activists is to stay alive. According the Washington Blade anti-LGBT violence in the impoverished Central American country has skyrocketed since a coup toppled then-President Manuel Zelaya in June 2009. Nelson Arambú of the Diversity Movement in Resistance told the Blade that 176 LGBT Hondurans have been reported killed between the 2009 coup and May 2014. Conversely, 20 LGBT Hondurans were reported murdered between 1994 and 2009. Arambú also said that at least three Honduran LGBT rights advocates have received death threats or have been threatened at gunpoint since 2011.

AUSTRALIA

LGBTI homeless shelter planned in Poland

MISSISSIPPI

HONDURAS

UK Ballroom Dance Council Moves to Ban Gay Couples

CALIFORNIA

Miss. enacts anti-LGBT law

Honduran activists fight for their lives

Poland’s LGBTI support group Lambda Association is seeking funding for a shelter for marginalized young LGBTI people under a European Economic Area and Norway Grants program which would house 250 at risk people and provide them with free meals, help finding work, and access to social workers, Gay Star News reported. The start up costs for the project is estimated to be €85,000, roughly $120,000. Lambda Association hopes that the shelter, which will be in Warsaw, will be largely funded by grants from Norway, Iceland, and Liechtenstein.

Quakers offer safe passage for LGBT Ugandans UGANDA

A group of American Quakers is offering a way out for some desperate Ugandans fleeing the country’s new Anti-Homosexuality Act. The Olympia, Wash.-based group calls its project the Friends New Underground Railroad (FNUR) because it sees itself as following in the footsteps of the Quakers who helped bring slaves out of the American South before the Civil War, Buzzfeed reported. Working with fewer than 10 Ugandan “conductors,” they report having funded passage out of the country for 107 people with grants ranging from $52 to 185.

The refugees mostly travel in small groups on back roads and make their way to safe houses in neighboring countries. FNUR says they know of at least 12 people who have gone on to third countries like South Africa and Sweden, and they have received unconfirmed reports that around 30 have reached Europe.

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17

REAL LIFE

Baltimore Local News Another Transgender Woman Murdered in Baltimore Six weeks following the discovery of the murdered body of Kandy Hall, a transgender woman in a Northeast Baltimore field, another murdered transgender victim was found on July 16. Just before 6am police discovered the body of Mia Henderson, whose official government ID name was Kevin Long, age 26, in an alley in the 3400 block of Piedmont Ave. near Lake Ashburton in Northwest Baltimore.

Police officers discovered the body, who they described as having suffered from “severe trauma” while attempting to serve a warrant in an unrelated case. Lieutenant Colonel David Reitz at a press conference held later that day indicated that the victim “appeared to have been there for a few hours.”

Among the other Baltimore City Police Department representatives involved in the press conference were Police Commissioner Anthony W. Batts; Lieutenant J. Eric Kowalczyk, Director of the Media Relations Section; and Sergeant Kevin Bailey, who is the new LGBT Police Liaison. They stated that it is too early in the investigation to provide concrete details.

Police could not confirm if a firearm was used in the homicide until the autopsy results are received.

“Any loss of life in Baltimore City is unacceptable,” said Batts. “We need to solve this

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

case and solve the cases that are open.” Prior to the press conference, Batts spoke to community stakeholders at a separate meeting offering assurances the police are working hard to solve these crimes and that community members “need to look for things out of the norm” and report it to the police immediately.

We need data—any information or any clues.”

Police could not say at this point if these two murders were connected. Both victims were African-American, and their bodies were found in the early morning. The police determined that Kandy Hall had been stabbed. They have not yet made such a determination on the latest homicide, however.

Members of the community are urged to call Homicide at (410) 396-2100 or they can call Metro Crime Stoppers at 1-866-7LockUp and remain anonymous if they have any information relating to these two cases.

by

STEVE CHARING

Lt. J. Eric Kowlaczyk addresses the media regarding murder of transgender woman Photo by Steve Charing

of GAMMA—Gay and Married Men’s Association—a support group that met at the community center.

In addition, Mr. Brager was an activist in the fight against AIDS as he lost many friends from the disease during the 1980s.

He worked with organizers of an annual

charity, Lifesongs for AIDS, to raise money for medical research. He also advocated for the Chase Brexton Health Center and AIDS Action Baltimore.

He is survived by a brother, a son and a daughter, plus legions of friends in and out of Baltimore’s LGBT community.

Activist Elliott Brager Dies at 72 Attorney Elliott A. Brager died in his Mount Washington home on July 7 from heart failure at the age of 72. He was known in Baltimore as a fundraising giant as he aggressively sold tickets to numerous fall fundraisers and spring bunches during the 1980s on behalf of the then-called Gay and Lesbian Center of Baltimore.

He also founded the Baltimore chapter

Elliott Brager (above, left) with close friend Steve Shavitz Photo by Steve Charing

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

Howard County Executive candidates Allan Kittleman and Courtney Watson Photo by Steve Charing

Pro-LGBT Candidates Face Off in Howard It’s not often you see a Republican and a Democrat tout their pro-LGBT bona fides during a political debate, but that’s exactly what happened at a PFLAG-Howard County forum in Columbia on July 8. It was the first post-primary forum of the campaign in the county.

Republican Allan H. Kittleman, a former state senator who is vying to succeed Ken Ulman as the next county executive and his opponent, Democrat Councilwoman Courtney Watson, shared their visions for the county on a wide swath of issues.

Both candidates contrasted their views and records in front of over 60 people in attendance. Kittleman reminded the audience of his long-standing relationship with PFLAG and that several members helped sway his views towards supporting marriage equality. Watson stated her son was a classmate at school with the transgender child of a member of PFLAG and encouraged Watson to support trans rights. As such, she helped craft a county-wide non-discrimination bill based on gender identity in 2011.

The question of LGBTQ homelessness was raised pointing out that LGBTQ youth comprise a disproportionate percentage of homeless youth in the county. Watson indicated that 32 efficiency units for the homeless are underway. She added that organiza-

Frederick Pride Photo by Bob Ford

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tions, such as Grass Roots and mental health crisis units need to be part of the solution.

Kittleman responded that the LGBT community needs to be part of the conversation. “I will form an LGBT advisory committee, which will meet regularly to keep me as county executive informed of all the related issues,” he said.

Frederick Pride Shines in New Locale For the third time in its brief three-year history, Frederick Pride was held at a different venue. On this occasion, the event took place at the scenic Carroll Creek Linear Park in downtown Frederick. Over 3,000 people attended—a considerable increase over the goal of 2,000—on a bright, warm June 28.

“Changing the scope, format, and venue of Frederick Pride was an ambitious undertaking,” said Brian Walker, chair of Frederick’s LGBT Community Center. “A dedicated team of 20 six-month volunteers tackled the demands head-on. A festival that tripled in size and still ran smoothly was the result.”

The planners tapped into growing LGBT support from Frederick’s city officials, businesses, affirming churches, and an increasingly strong relationship with the police department to craft this multi-faceted, well-received event. Over 40 area businesses offered a variety of discounts to those who wore rainbow bracelets, which were handed out for free upon entering the site.

The City of Frederick issued a proclamation declaring the month of June as LGBTQ Pride Month. To promote transgender awareness, the Pride Committee selected trans activist Sharon Brackett and a young trans man Christopher Lynch to deliver keynote addresses.

Live entertainment, a pie eating contest, a most prideful pet and person contest, and youth dodge ball were among the festival’s highlights.

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

19

OUR LIFE OUT-SKIRTS

Baby Steps by

DANIELLE ARIANO

I had a difficult time coming out. For a long time afterwards, the only time I felt like I could truly breathe were the moments when other gay women surrounded me. When I was with them, I didn’t have to brace for the possibility of a disapproving reaction when I watched a hot girl walk by because their heads would’ve been turning in unison with mine. When I learned that gay people referred to one another as “family,” it made sense on a very visceral level.

Fifteen years later, I’ve learned to feel more at home as a gay woman in world full of mostly straight people, but my all of my closest friends are still gay women.

This column is an exploration of what it’s like to be an out, gay woman—from the quirks of gay life (Anybody out there friends with their ex?) to the funny conversations that arise with people who are unfamiliar with gay culture (sorry mom and dad). Hope you enjoy.

“S

o,” my mother says, “any more talk about plans for a baby?”

She’s in the passenger seat of my father’s Acura digging through her purse when she asks this question. Her tone is casual as if she’d just asked me if I wanted to go to the

ALL TEA, NO SHADE: DISHIN’ WITH THE DUCHESS

Do We Need Another Hero? by

CARLTON R. SMITH

Hey Family, What’s the latest tea in the gayborhood? Are you ready for football season? It’s almost that time to wear that famous purple and black jersey on! Most of us are more than ready, but some are hesitant after the news came out that Michael Sam, the first openly gay football player in the NFL, was drafted by the St. Louis Rams.

Before this tea burns your lips, I have to ask: Do we really need another HERO? Michael Sam is a 24 year-old black man who experienced more than his fair share of challenges growing up. He’s the seventh child of eight from Hitchcock,Texas. When he was five, his parents separated. Shortly after the separation, he witnessed his older brother Russell die of a gunshot wound. Two other brothers ended up in prison. During elementary school, Michael was homeless and lived in a car with his mother.

In a recent ESPN interview about his recent coming out, Sam said that his life has been filled with “some hardship, some tragedies, and some

20

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

grocery store. Normally, my mother wouldn’t be so direct, but she had wine with dinner. My father has the air conditioner on full blast in an effort to counteract his overactive sweat glands, a fact I am momentarily grateful for.

He peeks at me in the rearview mirror.

“Uh, not really,” I say.

My wife and I are in our late thirties and all around us the lesbian baby boom has been emitting sonic blasts. Three of our close friends have children, and in the extended circle of our aging lesbian acquaintances in Baltimore, many more either have kids or are trying.

These days, when we get together with friends our gatherings are no longer punctuated by the cracking of beers, but by the gurgles of children and stories about poop.

Gone are the days of naked swim parties, a fact I came to accept some years back when my best friend’s wife came running out of the bedroom with a diaper in her hand.

“Look, look,” she’d squealed, “Jason did a solid poop!”

She proceeded to peel back the sides carefully, as if revealing a precious gem. I supposed that after weeks of cleaning up the alternative, it was reasonable that this ball of poop was the cause for such a monumental celebration. Katie and her wife proceeded to discuss what combination of food might have

produced such a wondrous result.

As for my wife and I, you might say that we are in the “planning stages,” if mentioning babies from time to time counts as planning.

“Well, how would you do it anyway?” my mother asks.

“We’d use a sperm bank,” I say.

“Is that how your friends did it?” She unwraps a cough drop and pops it in her mouth.

“Most,” I say.

“Well, what about Marge and her mate?”

“Her mate?” I ask incredulously. What the hell are they, penguins? “You mean her wife?”

“Yeah, okay,” she says reluctantly, “her wife.”

I shake my head and laugh to myself. At least “mate” is a more accurate term than “friend,” which she used for years every time she referenced two women in a relationship.

Baby steps, I guess.

adversity. Telling the world I’m gay is nothing compared to that.”

This past May, Sam was drafted a lowly 249th out of 256 picks. At the same time, his father told the New York Times that his former deacon would be “turning over in his grave “ at the thought of a gay player in the NFL. However, in a most affirmative manner, Sam received encouragement from the likes of President Obama, U.S. Ambassador of the United Nations Samantha Power, and football Hall of Famer Deion Sanders.

To integrate in the NFL isn’t the biggest deal, but to LGBT communities this a good fortune to celebrate in recent years. Sam announcement was particularly significant in light of other

Michael Sam at his final University of Missouri home game in 2013 Photo Mark Schierbecker

Danielle Ariano is a writer and cabinetmaker. Her work has been featured on Huffington Post, Baltimore Fishbowl and Cobalt Review. Her debut memoir, Getting Over the Rainbow, will be published this fall by Shebooks. Ariano lives in Lutherville, Md. with her wife and their two dogs. She blogs at Daniwrites.org.

magor league LGBT stories like Jason Collins and Robbie Rogers because of football’s special relationship with American masculinity. There’s still a yearning among LGBT Americans for an elite gay athlete who will establish once and for all that we can play the most masculine sport and win at the highest level.

Thus, millions of people around the world are pinning their hopes on Sam because they want to prove that gays aren’t sissies. They are hoping that Sam’s talents and perseverance will extinguish homophobia. However high Sam may go, there those who will choose to believe that Sam’s accomplishments will never be enough.

Let’s let Sam have his future, however the story may unfold. We all can celebrate him for his achievements and the diversity he’s displaying for our community.

So, to answer my own question—yeah, we do need another hero. And you know what? Lowly number 249 will be remembered as the number that changed the NFL forever.

Carlton R. Smith has worked in LGBT issues for many years. He has served on various committees providing outreach, leadership, and representing the needs of LGBT people at the local, state and federal levels. Carlton places emphasis on the African American LGBT community, specifically men who have sex with men (MSM).

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

TRANSMISSIONS

College is the Place by

COURTNEY BEDELL

W

riter Isak Dinesen said, “the cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.” I love her insightful adage, but I would like to add one more to the list: MONEY! And short of independent wealth, the best path to a healthy income is through a college education.

It has been said that there is “no better revenge than living well.” America respects money and even though it doesn’t solve everything, it can go a long way to creating independence for TG folk and making us less vulnerable to other’s opinions. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of the public still believes a transsexual’s number one occupation is prostitution. This must change. The adages I have quoted add up to one thing: education is a great way to change the lives and public perceptions of transsexuals. While few of us will be earning true “f*ck-you money,” the income for college graduates is definitely greater than for non-grads and a professional level salary will make us less beholding to those that don’t wish us well! There is no better way to avoid negative opinions from affecting our lives than by being financially secure. Becoming professionals and earning higher incomes will give us power and help

I am happy that transsexuals are able to transition so much earlier these days because it means they will likely be able to do better in school without the distraction that being gender-dysphoric can create. change public perception. Maybe we will even stop being seen as sex workers.

Universities are typically gender diversityfriendly institutions with organized support from students and staff. They are a good environment for trans-youth to assimilate into the mainstream while getting set-up for successful careers. I recently attended Towson University to finish my own education and found it very trans-friendly and supportive.

In general, educated Americans tend to be

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

Built in 1914, Stephens Hall was Towson University’s first administrative and academic building.

more accepting of LGBT folk. I found this to be true when I transitioned in the early 1990s as an employee of the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory. I was their first transsexual employee, so they had no previous experience but they were very accommodating. The diversity department endeavored to learn whatever they could to facilitate my change. My supervisor, a scientist and professor with a PhD, promised to “smooth the waters” for me. I found that my co-workers who were all masters’ degree or PhD level engineers and scientists were quite unfazed by my change. Either they didn’t care or were just too immersed in their work to worry about it my little gender issue. The salaried employees’ reactions were a little different. They either completely ignored me or were quite unfriendly. But, they knew that any kind of overt hostility would not be tolerated by the management, so it was not really uncomfortable. I was though, sometimes surprised when I received support from the most unlikely of individuals, which reminded me not to prejudge anyone.

I am happy that transsexuals are able to transition so much earlier these days because it means they will likely be able to do better in school without the distraction that being gender-dyphoric can create. When I was in high school, I could barely read through a single paragraph before the constant disruption of the knowledge that I was living in the wrong gender would creep back in and dominate my thoughts. High school aged

teens are totally focused on boy/girl issues anyway but for me, I could barely go ten minutes without the painful knowledge popping back into my head that I was a girl living a boy’s life. This consumed all my concentration in a sort of gender dysphoria induced ADD. It was impossible for me to do well in school. I started college after high school attending CCBC, then Towson University, and then a semester at Johns Hopkins but each time I couldn’t concentrate on my curriculum long enough to obtain a Bachelors degree. After transition, my ADD disappeared and I became a good student with a high B average. If kids can be themselves while in grade school, they are more likely to do well and go on to college creating meaningful, productive lives for themselves.

Courtney Bedell is the author of a monthly advice/insight column that covers all aspects of transgender life ranging from the practical aspects of transitioning, to employment, family, and social concerns. Courtney hopes that, through this column, her insight, knowledge, and experience as a transgender woman will help others in their quest for wholeness.

Have a question? Trying to solve a problem? Want some feedback? Let Courtney know about it by emailing advice@baltimoregaylife.com.

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

21

OUR LIFE

BETTER LIFE

SPIRITUAL IN-TO-ME-I-SEE (SPIRITUAL INTIMACY)

LGBTQ 101...

A Lesson in Self-Acceptance by

COACH MAQ ELÈ

M

any spiritual teachers refer to the human experience on Earth, as “Earth School.” At our core, on a soul level, we are love. Many Souls choose to come to earth so that they experience the opposite of love (fear, separation, rejection, etc.) with the intention to learn how to love at a deeper level.

It may seem counterintuitive, that someone who experiences a life full of fear, separation or rejection is here to learn how to love.

However, when a soul embraces its spiritual curriculum, it takes its painful experiences and channels that energy for good. It is this reason, that so many non-profits and organizations have been birthed out of someone else’s tragedy.

Your experience in Earth School is no different than your experience in grade school. The teacher offers the lesson, you’re tested on the lesson, and occasionally you’re given a pop quiz. Each lesson builds on the

previous lesson, so it is important for you to learn the lessons as you go, or you risk falling behind. In Earth School, the Universe and your Higher Self (soul) serve as your teacher, creating opportunities for you to demonstrate proficiency in the lesson(s) your soul is here to learn. This is why you have those reoccurring “life experiences;” the ones that surround those issues you “thought you were over.” The lessons become more intense until you master the subject matter.

If you identify with any of the letters within the LGBTQ acronym then you are here to learn the lesson of self-acceptance. Your soul chose to come to “Earth School” at a time when there is still much judgment surrounding the LGBTQ community. And as a result you have had to tap into your inner strength and power to be and express the truth of who you are.

What I have become aware of, as I have embraced my lesson of self-acceptance, is that once I accepted all of me- then everyone else in my environment did the same. I realized, that once I was okay with who the Creator created me to be, those in my life became okay. So, if anything, what is required for you to accept yourself just the way you are? Please know that it must come from inside of you, and once it does, everyone outside of you will fall in line.

BE-LOVED! ~Coach Maq

Coach Maq Elè is a certified Spiritual Life and the facilitator for the GLCCB group SILhouette (Spiritually In-Tuned Lesbians).

For more information about Coach Maq and SILhouette please visit www.gstringliving.com. To contact Coach Maq with your coaching questions email coachmaq@baltimoregaylife.com.

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

FINANCIAL TIPS

Caring for Aging Parents

by AMANDA

WOODDELL

A

ccording to a recent MetLife study, there are more than 10 million adult children older than 50 who are caring for an aging parent in the U.S. Furthermore, with the population living longer, it is expected that this number will increase dramatically over the next 20 years.

As such, many of us will face the inevitable challenge of taking care of aging parents. Being prepared financially is paramount to help ensure that your parents have a high quality of life for an extended period of time.

One of the most critical components is open communication. Although this is not an easy topic to discuss, it is important to address future plans while your parents are still in good health. These types of discussions are vital for adhering to their overall lifestyle wishes, as well as for determining how they want their financial legacy to continue.

Compiling a detailed list of all the points to be covered prior to having these conversations is very helpful. Items to consider would be: ¡¡ Long-term care insurance: Do they have it? If not, should they buy it? ¡¡ Living arrangements: Can they still live alone, or is it time to explore other options? ¡¡ Medical care decisions: What are their wishes, and who will carry them out? ¡¡ Financial planning: How can you protect their assets? ¡¡ Estate planning: Do they have all of the necessary documents, which include wills and trusts? ¡¡ Expectations: What do you expect from your parents, and what do they expect from you?

From there, develop a personal data record, which is a document that contains all the necessary information in case your parents become incapacitated or pass away.

This document should include all financial and legal information, funeral and burial plans, and medical information, as well as the contact information for any financial advisors and the location of important records. We also suggest making copies of all of the documents and keeping them in a safe place.

If your parents are already in need of care, then the most ideal solution is to find a trusted financial advisor who can assist you in navigating this challenging landscape. The right advisor will help you develop a plan for managing your parents finances, as well as provide the right counsel for gaining will and estate planning information. It is never too late to help support your parents’ financial situation.

Taking care of aging parents is a labor of love. Many believe that it is the right way to pay your parents back for all of their hard work and sacrifices. The good news is that this labor of love does not have to be difficult. With the right planning and trusted advisors in place, it is possible to build out a bright future for both you and your parents.

Amanda Wooddell is a Manager at SC&H Financial Advisors, the Personal Financial Planning practice at SC&H Group, which is an audit, tax, and consulting firm based in Sparks, Md. To learn more about SC&H Group, visit www.scandh.com. Note: Securities offered through Triad Advisors, Inc. Member FINRA, SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through SC&H Financial Advisors, Inc. SC&H Financial Advisors, Inc. and Triad Advisors, Inc. are unaffiliated entities.

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SOCIAL LIFE

Datebook

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RECURRING & ONGOING EVENTS

Sundays Baltimore Farmers’ Market & Bazaar Every Sunday 7am-Noon Jones Falls Expressway Holliday & Saratoga Sts. PromotionAndArts.com Dog Hikes with the Doctor First Sunday of the month 11am-Noon • $2 Baltimore Humane Society 1601 Nicodemus Rd. • Reisterstown BMoreHumane.org Metropolitan Community Church Services Every Sunday 9am and 11am MCC Baltimore • 401 W. Monument St MCCBaltimore.org League of Women Bowlers Every Sunday 4:30pm AMF Marlow Heights Lanes 4717 St. Barnabas Rd. • Temple Hill LeagueOfWomenBowlers2@verizon.net Rise Up, Honoring Women’s Spirituality Fourth Sundays 12:45-2:15pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St. FirstUnitarian.net Westminster PFLAG Monthly Mtg. Third Sundays 7pm St. Paul’s United Church of Christ 17 Bond St. • Westminster PFLAGWCC.org Heterosexual Friendly Gay Brunch First Sunday Frederick’s on Fleet • 2112 Fleet St. FredericksOnFleet.com ASGRA Monthly Trail Ride First Sundays 10:30am • $25-30 Piscataway Stables 10775 Piscataway Road • Clinton ASGRA.org Charm City Volleyball: Competitive Play Every Sunday 10am-1pm • $7 Volleyball House 5635 Furnace Ave. • Elkridge VolleyBaltimore.org Service of Worship First Sundays 10:30am First & Franklin • 210 West Madison St. FirstFranklin.org Service of Worship Every Sunday 10am Brown Memorial Park Avenue Presbyterian Church • 1316 Park Ave. BrownDowntown.org

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GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

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Mondays Interfaith Fairness Coalition Mtg. Second Mondays 3-4:30pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St. IFCMD.info PFLAG Howard County Parent Forum Third Mondays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia PFLAGMD.org Senior Pride: Discussion Group for Women 55+ Monday evenings Chase Brexton Health Services www.bit.ly/SeniorPride

Tuesdays Howard County PFLAG Monthly Mtg. Second Tuesdays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia PFLAGMD.org Karate-Dō (LGBT-friendly classes) Every Tuesday 5:30-7:30pm Johns Hopkins Homewood Campus Bob Remington — MDShoto@aol.com Csskshotokan.com Meditation Group Every Tuesday 6:15-7:45pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St. FirstUnitarian.net PFLAG Baltimore Co. General Mtg. Fourth Tuesdays 7pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd. PFLAGBaltimore.org Parents of Transgender Kids Fourth Tuesdays 7:30-9pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia cvhyde@gmail.com PFLAGBaltimore.org Rainbow Youth Alliance of Baltimore County 2nd & 4th Tuesdays 7-9pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd. RYABaltimoreCounty@gmail.com Rainbow Youth Alliance of Howard County 2nd & 4th Tuesdays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia 410.280.9047 rya_leaders@hotmail.com

Rainbow Youth Alliance of Baltimore City 1st, 3rd & 5th Tuesdays 7-9pm The GLCCB • 1000 Cathedral St. RYABaltimore@gmail.com Facebook.com/groups/RYABaltimore Teen Program at JCC Second Tuesdays 6pm Owings Mills JCC 3506 Gwynnbrook Ave. JoinTeens.org Trans Parents Forum, Baltimore Co. Third Tuesdays 7-9:30pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd. PFLAGBaltimore.org

Wednesdays Charm City Volleyball: Social Play Every Wednesday 6:30-9:30pm • $3-30 Mt Royal Recreational Center 137 McMechen St. Living Well with HIV Support Group Every Wednesday 10:30am Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St. Jacques.umaryland.edu/support.html Spiritual Development with Rev. Sam Offer Every Wednesday 7pm Unity Fellowship Church of Baltimore 4007 Old York Rd. UFCB.org GEM: Gender Empowerment MD Every other Wednesday 7pm Equality Maryland • 1201 S. Sharp St. Owen@EqualityMaryland.org Senior Pride: Disc. Group for Men 55+ Wednesday evenings Chase Brexton Health Services 410-837-2050 ext. 2428 www.bit.ly/SeniorPride Support Group for Transgender Adults Third Wednesday 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia hoctytransgroup@gmail.com

Thursdays HIV Support: Substance Abuse & HIV Every Thursdays 2-3pm Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St. IHV.org Karate-Dō (LGBT-friendly classes) Every Thursday 5:30-7:30pm Johns Hopkins Homewood Campus Bob Remington — MDShoto@aol.com Csskshotokan.com

Fridays HIV Support: Just Between US Every Friday 11am-Noon Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St. IHV.org

Saturdays Baltimore Frontrunners Every Saturday 8:45am • Brunch 10am Panera Bread, 3600 Boston St. BaltimoreFrontrunners.org HOPE DC Monthly Brunch First Saturdays 11am Rosemary’s Thyme Bistro DC 1801 18th St. NW • Washington, D.C. HopeDCSocials-owner@yahoogroups.com In the Company of Women First Saturdays 10am-Noon First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W Hamilton St. FirstUnitarian.net

THIS MONTH

Friday, August 1 “GUTSY: Taking the Fear Factor out of Feminism” Exhibit of artists dealing with feminist issues and themes • Thru August 8.

Gallery CA • 440 E Oliver St. GalleryCA.org/gutsy Baltimore Improv Group Presents The 8th Annual Baltimore Improv Festival Feat. the region’s best troupes $10-60 • Thru August 3 Theatre Project • 45 W. Preston St. TheaterProject.org Wine Tasting FREE • Fridays 5-8pm Spirits of Mt Vernon Wine Shop 900 N. Charles St. SpiritsOfMtVernon.com First Fridays FREE • First Friday of every month 6:30pm Eastern & East Ave. CreativeAlliance.org Fridays After Five $12 • Every Friday 5pm National Aquarium, Baltimore 501 E. Pratt St. Aqua.org

HAVING AN EVENT?

Email full calendar details to Editor@BaltimoreGayLife.com

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

Saturday, August 2

Saturday, August 9

Monday, August 18

The Last Flapper Kate Erin Gibson is Zelda William Lucas. $15-18 • 8pm The Patterson • 3134 Eastern Ave. CreativeAlliace.org

New Vintage Jazz & Wine Festival Six modern jazz bands, dozens of wines to taste • $30-110 • 2-10pm DC Fairgrounds • 1299 Half St., SE ArtWhino.com

GLCCB Book Club This month’s selection is Ready Player One

by Ernest Cline • 7pm The GLCCB • 1000 Cathedral St. Facebook.com/groups/139583666184199

St. Mary’s Peach Festival A Country fair! FREE • 11am Saint Mary’s Church 1 St. Marys Church Rd., Abingdon StMarysHarford.org

Coph Nia A spirituality festival for gay, bi, queer, and questioning men • $150 Interfaith campground in Artemas, PA CophNia.org

Giant Monster Monday Movies & drink specials • 8pm-Midnight The Wind Up Space • 12 W North Ave. TheWindUpSpace.com

“Star-Spangled Swimmer!

A War of 1812 Water Ballet” History comes alive— with flotation devices & glitter! $5-10 • 7 & 8pm • Thru August 3 Patterson Park Pool • 148 S. Lakewood Ave. FluidMovement.org

Tuesday, August 12 Gavin DeGraw & Matt Nathanson $29.50-65 • 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion • 731 Eastern Ave. PierSixPavilion.com

MTV Presents: Austin Mahone With The Vamps, Fifth Harmony, and Shawn Mendes • $29-65 • 6pm Pier Six Pavilion • 731 Eastern Ave. PierSixPavilion.com

Monday, August 4

Thursday, August 14

Wednesday, August 20

Men’s Naked Yoga $18 • Every Monday 6:30-7:30pm Vitruvian Gallery, LLC 734 7th St., SE, 2nd fl. • Washington, D.C. VitruvianGallery.com

Creative Spirit Séance Explore ways in which human beings communicate with the Creative Spirit. $40 • Thru August 24.

Church and Company • 37th and Falls Road CreativeSpiritSeance.com

POZ DC Happy Hour Mixer For HIV+ men • 7pm Green Lantern 1335 Green Court NW • Washington, DC HopeDC.org

Tuesday, August 5 An Evening with John Legend The All of Me Tour • $40-86 • 7pm Pier Six Pavilion • 731 Eastern Ave. PierSixPavilion.com

Wednesday, August 6 Neighbors Night at Marquee Lounge Every Wednesday 5pm The Patterson • 3134 Eastern Ave. CreativeAlliance.org

Thursday, August 7 First Thursdays: Concerts in the Park Feat. Grizfolk, Strand of Oaks, and Lydia Loveless • FREE • 6-10pm Canton Waterfront Park • 3001 Boston St. WTMD.org AVAM Flicks on the Hill Feat. Time Bandits • FREE • 9pm The Hughes Family Outdoor Theater on Federal Hill AVAM.org Slightly Stoopid With Stephen Marley, G. Love & Special Sauce • $29.50-148.50 • 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion • 731 Eastern Ave. PierSixPavilion.com

Friday, August 8 REVIVAL A monthly hoedown • $6 • 21+ • 7pm Grand Central • 1001 N. Charles St. CentralStationPub.com

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

Best of Baltimore Party 2014 Presented by Baltimore Magazine. $85-150 • 6-11pm Hippodrome Theatre • 12 N. Eutaw St. BMag.co Mother/Son Solo play about a Jewish mother and son navigating the coming out journey. $12–22 • 7pm Baltimore Theatre Works 45 West Preston St. TheatreProject.org/Shows/MotherSON AVAM Flicks on the Hill Feat. The Time Machine • FREE • 9pm The Hughes Family Outdoor Theater on Federal Hill AVAM.org

Friday, August 15 Dance THIS! Creative Alliance’s Summer Celebration of Dance! $12-15 • 1:45pm • Thru August 16 Creative Alliance • 3134 Eastern Ave. CreativeAlliance.org

Saturday, August 16 Silopanna Music Festival With The Flaming Lips, Dashboard Confessional, Matt & Kim, & more. $59.50-150 • 11am Anne Arundel County Fairgrounds 1450 General’s Highway, Crownsville PierSixPavillion.com

Tuesday, August 19

Thursday, August 21 AVAM Flicks on the Hill Feat. Star Trek: The Motion Picture FREE • 9pm The Hughes Family Outdoor Theater on Federal Hill AVAM.org

Friday, August 22 Burl-eoke!

Burlesque & Karaoke collide. $10 8pm.

The Brass Monkey Saloon, 1601 Eastern Ave.

Tuesday, August 26 Boston With Crack the Sky • $35-350 • 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion • 731 Eastern Ave. PierSixPavilion.com

Thursday, August 28 AVAM Flicks on the Hill Feat. Jurassic Park • FREE • 9pm The Hughes Family Outdoor Theater on Federal Hill AVAM.org

Friday, August 29 Baltimore Bike Party The biggest party on two wheels!

FREE • 7pm St. Mary’s, Seton Hill BaltimoreBikeParty.com

SPOTLIGHT

Heart

Sisters Ann and Nancy Wilson first showed the world that women can rock when their band, Heart, stormed the charts in the ‘70’s with hits like “Crazy on You,” “Magic Man,” and “Barracuda.”

Along the way, music by Ann and Nancy Wilson and their band Heart has sold more than 35 million albums, sold out arenas worldwide, and found its way into the soundtrack of American life through radio, motion pictures, television, and associations with branded sponsors. Today, songs made famous

by Heart are heard in every aspect of contemporary culture.

Heart

Saturday, August 9 $35-75. 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion 731 Eastern Ave. PierSixPavilion.com

GAY LIFE / AUGUST 2014

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SOCIAL LIFE

BSCENE

King & Queen of Pride Pageant ERIC RANDOLPH piedpipermd@gmail.com by

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GLCCB Town Hall

Continued from Page 6

Board President Mike McCarthy, Secretary Gilles Stromberg as well as Pride Co-coordinators Wendy IngramBraswell and Kate Hull joined Neel to explain why changes to the venue were needed, how they interpreted the preliminary results of the online survey (paper copies were distributed to the attendees as well), and to discuss the financials.

Neel made the case that there was insufficient time to adequately plan for Pride 2014 given the Center’s move to a new building and the departure of the previous executive director Matt Thorn. “We got started late in the game,” explained Neel.

Dates had to shift and a new “footprint” to the Mt. Royal area required permits and added security. The decision to move the events was made before Neel assumed her duties.

Expenses for Pride 2104 exceeded $114,000 while revenue was close to $178,000 resulting in a $64,000—a modest total as Pride is the main fundraising activity for the Center.

Based on the survey results, the GLCCB is seriously considering a return to Druid Hill Park for the Sunday celebration, which would add a family-friendly element to the event.

They will also try to deal with concerns about the beer garden and the Lady Lisa drag stage among other tweaks suggested via the survey. Of the 61 responses received at the time of the meeting, 58 percent were either unsatisfied or very unsatisfied about the way Pride 2014 went.

The meeting opened up to comments from the audience. Initially, Pride was brought up as Stu thanked the committee for pulling it off under the circumstances but pointed out that Pride did not have the same

feel. “Things seemed like they were thrown together,” he said, noting that he had friends coming from D.C. and they were let down regarding Sunday’s event.

Rik Newton-Treadway characterized Sunday’s event as a “bomb disaster,” said people should pay an admission fee, and that Pride should be moved from Fathers Day Weekend. He also criticized the Board for its lack of transparency, particularly regarding the real reason for the sale of the building. “Enough is enough! Too many lies,” he said.

Rev. Meredith Moise, speaking on behalf of Black Transmen, Inc., charged that the Center does not respond to invitations to attend faith community events and should “go out and talk to the community.” She acknowledged that the board members are newcomers but reminded them of the racism and classism that has existed on the board for many years.

Bill Redmond-Palmer, a former board member, indicated that transgender people are not made to feel welcome and needs more inclusion.

Stromberg said it would be a priority to make that happen.

Another former board member John Flannery of Baltimore said he left the board because the Center’s mission was not evident. “The GLCCB failed to answer the fundamental question: ‘What do you do?”

Neel and the board members thanked the audience and promised to take this feedback seriously. They will move forward as quickly as possible to address the concerns. “We heard what needs to be heard—not just Pride but the Center,” Neel said following the meeting. “Changes are needed. It starts here.”

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