Baltimore Gay Life December 2013

December 2013

BaltimoreGayLife.com

GAY MEN'S CHORUS OF D.C. HUNKS IN TRUNKS NEW GLCCB PROGRAMS TRANS* OUTREACH and more...

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE Page 18

e i l s e L ordan

SOUTHERN BAPTIST SISSY

J

TELLS TALL TALES

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DECEMBER 2013

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

IN THIS GAY LIFE

18

DECEMBER 2013

Gay Life Holiday Gift Guide Looking for the perfect gift to give your friends, family, and loved ones this holiday season? We’ve taken to the streets of Baltimore to find a selection of goodies from a few of our favorite LGBT-friendly businesses just in time for the holidays.

By Jennifer Vance and Kate Hull

19

Holiday Charity Guide

By Paige Hunter

LOCAL LIFE

6

News from the GLCCB

8

Support From Within

By Kelly Neel

By Kelly Neel

HIGH LIFE

9

Sparkle, Jingle, Joy

By Frankie Kujawa

10 Telling Tall Tales

1 1

13

By Frankie Kujawa

Samos Greek Island Grill

By John Cullen with Marty Shayt

Hunks in Trunks

By Ted Blankenship

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

REAL LIFE

24 News

By Rachel Roth

OUR LIFE

26 A Long Way, Baby

By Courtney Bedell

Holiday Gift Givers

By Justin B. Terry-Smith

BETTER LIFE

27 Mental Health

By Alicia Gabriel

SOCIAL LIFE

28 Datebook 30 BSCENE DECEMBER 2013

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DECEMBER 2013

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

EDITOR’S LIFE

Happy Holidays!

Hello loyal Gay Life readers! December is upon us and brings with it the usual holiday merriment, quiet reflection of the year gone by, and boundless hope for what lays ahead in the New Year. We’ve got a little something for everyone in this month’s edition—including our annual gift guide (p. 18), which features a treasure trove of unique goodies from some of our favorite LGBT-friendly local businesses.

Keeping in tune with the holiday spirit, check out our interview with Matt Alber about his upcoming appearance at the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington’s Sparkle, Jingle, Joy holiday show.

We’re also pleased to announce the addition of Courtney Bedell to our roster of writers. Courtney will be writing a monthly advice column that will cover all aspects of transgender life, including transitioning, employment, family, and social concerns. No question or problem

is too silly or inconsequential—just email advice@baltimoregaylife.com!

This month’s edition also includes a lovely write up of the GLCCB’s first annual Hometown Hero Awards, which took place Nov. 17.

Louise Parker Kelley—a former editor of our fair magazine, as well as a past GLCCB board member—was there to document the truly historic event, which was highlighted by an appearance of Representative Nancy Pelosi, who returned to her native Baltimore to accept the GLCCB Lifetime Achievement Award.

Enjoy the December issue, and have a safe and happy holiday season!

DAN MCEVILY Editor

ON THE COVER

Actor and playwright Leslie Jordan.

FACEBOOK.COM/GLCCB • TWITTER.COM/GLCCB • YOUTUBE.COM/THEGLCCB Dan McEvily, Editor editor@baltimoregaylife.com M. Cory Burgess, Art Director cory@metroscapemedia.com Sabre Chase, Advertising sales@baltimoregaylife.com

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.

241 W. Chase Street Baltimore, MD 21201 410.777.8145 Phone 410.777.8135 Fax sales@baltimoregaylife.com www.baltimoregaylife.com

National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media, 212.242.6863 Marty Shayt, Senior Volunteer Contributors Courtney Bedell, Ted Blankenship, Dr. Juli Buchanan,

John Cullen, Alicia Gabriel, Kate Hull, Paige Hunter, Louise Parker Kelly, Frankie Kujawa, Kelly Neel, Rachel Roth, Marty Shayt, Justin B. Terry-Smith, Jennifer Vance

Photographers John Kardys, Samatra Johnson, Richelle Taylor, Jay W. Magazine Committee Maggie Beetz, John Cullen, Doug Rose, Marty Shayt, Richelle Taylor, Matt Thorn

Gay Life is a publication of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland (GLCCB). Gay Life is published monthly in Baltimore, Md., with distribution throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved. Gay Life is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Gay Life or its publisher.

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

DECEMBER 2013

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GLBT Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland

LOCAL LIFE

Serving the LGBT Community of Maryland for 35 years

241 W. Chase St. • Baltimore, MD 21201 • 410.777.8145 • GLCCB.org

Trans Programs

Women’s Programs

AKANNI

SILHOUETTE

A safe, respectful, confidential environment where all transmen can share their story and their journey.

2nd Tuesdays 6pm • Rm 202 vmillhouse@blacktransmen.org BlackTransmen.org

BALTIMORE TRANSMASCULINE ALLIANCE

A support group for trans* men (FTM).

3rd Thursdays 6:30pm • 1st Floor BTMA@glccb.org

TRAN*QUILITY

A support group for trans* women (MTF), but anyone who varies from traditional gender expression is welcome.

2nd & 4th Saturdays 8pm • Rm 201 Tranquility@glccb.org

Recovery ACCESS TO RECOVERY

Care-coordinators will offer recovery support services for LGBT individuals.

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 3rd Floor outreach.latifkarim@gmail.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS LGBTQ centered AA recovery groups, welcoming to all.

Mondays 7:15pm Thursdays 8:30pm Saturdays 6:30pm Rm 201

AA—POSITIVELY SOBER

An open meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, which provides a safe place for those with HIV or other health related issues.

All are welcome.

Sundays 6:15pm • Rm 201 jeffreysquibb@yahoo.com

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Men’s Rap group for men in recovery.

Sundays, 11:30am • Rm 201

Health & Wellness BEGINNERS’ YOGA

Gentle beginners’ yoga with instructor Tim Hurley, RYT. $9 Sundays 3:30pm• Rm 201

News from The GLCCB

BY KELLY NEEL, GLCCB PROGRAM MANAGER

SILhouette (Spiritually In-tuned Lesbians) is a spiritual community of women who love women desiring to discover, embrace and live as their spiritual-authentic self.

1st and 3rd Tuesdays 7pm • Rm 201

This month, the GLCCB will begin offering a handful of new programs to our community. From discussion-based groups for young adults to addiction recovery support and community gardening, these programs will engage a wide range of individuals throughout our LGBTQ community.

WOMEN OF COLOR

A safe, confidential, and supportive space for LBTQ women of all colors.

2nd, 4th, & 5th Thursdays 7:30pm 1st Floor WOC@glccb.org Meetup.com/Baltimore-LesbiansOf-Color

QUEER YOUNG ADULT GROUP

Beginning Dec. 3, the GLCCB will welcome a weekly discussion, support, and social group for all young adult LGBTQ identified or questioning individuals and their allies. The mission of the group, facilitiated

by Will Abshier, is to grow a peer-to-peer support network and provide a safe and inclusive environment where members can learn about and discuss LGBTQ issues.

The young adult group will be a forum for discussion on a wide variety of topics such as LGBTQ history and theory, current issues and events, safe sex, and more. In addition, the group will also offer the opportunity for local social meet-ups, events and volunteer opportunities outside of meeting days.

T GLCCB.org/programs/youth

Youth & Young Adult Programs RAINBOW YOUTH ALLIANCE BALTIMORE

A support, social, and discussion group for LGBTQ teens and allies ages 13-19, in partnership with PFLAG Baltimore.

Every Tuesday 7-9pm • 1st Floor RYABaltimore@gmail.com Facebook.com/groups/ RYABaltimore

QUEER YOUNG ADULT GROUP

A discussion, support, and social group for young adult LGBT identified or questioning individuals and their allies.

Tuesdays at 5:30pm

Community Programs POZitive PEOPLE

A free, weekly, peer-led support group for HIV-positive individuals in the LGBT community.

Wednesdays 7-8pm • Rm 202 POZpeople@glccb.org

ACCESS TO RECOVERY

BOOK CLUB

A welcoming book club for LGBTQ individuals to discuss a selected reading.

3rd Mondays 7pm • Rm 202 Facebook.com/ groups/139583666184199

HIV & SYPHILIS TESTING

FREE and confidential testing from the Baltimore City Health Dept.

Wednesdays 5-8pm • 3rd Floor

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DECEMBER 2013

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.

2013

continued in next column u

The GLCCB is the publisher of Gay Life and the producer of Baltimore Pride

In order to better serve those in the LGBTQ community who are recovering from addiction, the GLCCB is partnering with the Maryland RecoveryNet program to provide those in need access to recovery services.

Starting Dec. 9, care-coordinators will be available at the GLCCB to enroll patients in the Access to Recovery program. The program will provide individuals access to support systems and recovery programs best suited to their needs. Working in unison with care-coordinators and peer specialists, the GLCCB hopes to provide LGBTQ individuals with a safe and inclusive path to recovery. Discrimination is still abundant, and being able to provide resources that are known to be LGBTQ inclusive and affirm-

ing will be a huge step forward, especially when dealing with medical care, housing, and recovery services.

T GLCCB.org/programs/recovery

BMOREINCLUSIVE

In an effort to create a safer, more inclusive Baltimore community, the GLCCB is looking to BmoreInclusive! Started by Goucher College students Andrew Huff, Ryan Derham, and Matt Wolff, the BmoreInclusive initiative uses window decals to identify local businesses as safe spaces for those in the LGBTQ community. In addition to displaying the BmoreInlcusive sticker, businesses receive an informational packet on what it means to be inclusive and reasons why it is important to join the initiative.

In an effort to expand the project’s reach, the GLCCB is collaborating with BmoreInclusive and calling on volunteers to join the group in an effort to create a more welcoming community. An informational meeting will be held on Dec. 4 at 6pm to discuss the project and outreach ideas moving forward. To get involved please e-mail bmoreinclusive@ gmail.com with the subject: BmoreInvolved.

GLCCB COMMUNITY GARDEN

Community gardens are a wonderful way to give back to the community at large, engage the neighborhood, and foster the growth of new relationships. This upcoming spring, the GLCCB will begin planting its first community garden in Baltimore City. With the goal of bringing the LGBT community together in an effort to give back to our city-at-large, the GLCCB also hopes to spread the message of equality and acceptance. The plan for the space includes a vegetable garden, flowerbeds, and a clean, green, relaxing space for everyone to enjoy. An open planning meeting will be held on Dec. 19 at 6pm to discuss the initial stages of the garden. If you are interested in learning more or playing a part, please e-mail garden@glccb.org.

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

y p p a H ays! d i l o H

The last twelve months have seen a tremendous amount of positive expansion and change at the GLCCB (The GLBT Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland). We are thankful for your continued support in making this growth possible.

A few highlights of 2013 included: Opening our GLBT Welcome Center in April, allowing the community to drop in five days a week to gather information on resources and groups, access our lending library, and utilize our complimentary computer lab.

Expanding our Archival Committee, who are tirelessly preserving the rich history of our Community Center and more than five decades of LGBT activism and advocacy in Baltimore.

The launch of our partnership with Access to Recovery in November, which will serve as the only substance abuse treatment program in Maryland that addresses the specific needs of the LGBT community.

Continued growth of Baltimore PRIDE, which celebrated its 38th year in June, and g our continued partnership with Baltimore Black Pride, Inc., now in its 11th year of celebrating diversity.

As the GLBT community center for Baltimore and Central Maryland, we are constantly striving to improve and expand on how to best serve you. We are proud of the work that has been done over the last year, and are excited at the opportunities that lie ahead in 2014. Thank you for all that you have done for our Community Center!

We wish you and your loved ones a joyful holiday season! www.glccb.org/donate BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

DECEMBER 2013

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LOCAL LIFE

Building Support From Within

TRANS* OUTREACH IN BALTIMORE CITY

BY KELLY NEEL Founder of the Trans* Baltimore Outreach Society Devin “Hellfire” Cherubini, mentions that back in 2010 when he began his transition, he had to leave Baltimore in order to find the support and encouragement he so needed in order to make it through. It was in Connecticut that Cherubini found the Connecticut Outreach Society, from which Trans* Baltimore Outreach Society (TBOS) is modeled. Embraced by the community in Connecticut, Cherubini was inspired to bring this same sense of love and support for one another back to the Baltimore trans* community, and so, TBOS was born.

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DECEMBER 2013

TBOS is a community-wide, all-inclusive outreach group designed to unify members of the Baltimore City trans* spectrum.

Founded on the principle that everyone is in the fight together, TBOS welcomes any and all members of the trans* community to come out and get involved. The goal of the outreach society is to provide a main hub where various citywide trans* groups and members can meet, support each other, and work together in spreading awareness and advocating for the trans* community. The society also offers free professional group therapy, peer-to-peer support, and regularly

DEVIN "HELLFIRE" CHERUBINI scheduled events in the community that are trans* friendly.

Cherubini’s biggest mission is to break down the barriers of “self-imposed selfsegregation” within the Baltimore trans* community. By providing a means for the various groups in the city to connect and meet, Cherubini hopes to bring the community and its advocates closer together.

By sending out weekly updates of trans* friendly social events, Cherubini also hopes to see a rise in public awareness.

“The more we are seen out in the world, the more we will be accepted as long as we

go to the events [where] I know we are welcome,” Cherubini said. “This is also why we need to have a strong community that can help cushion the blows trans* folks get from socializing within a society that views us as freaks and not as human beings.”

In addition to peer meetings and social events, the Trans* Baltimore Outreach Society offers free, bimonthly group therapy sessions facilitated by licensed psychologist Dr. Durwood Whitten. The group therapy is held every first and third Tuesday of the month at 7pm at the Complete Wellness Center (10 W. Madison St.). Provided to help members of the trans* community know they are not alone, the free group therapy is a safe space for anyone who is struggling.

Trans* Baltimore Outreach Society is a great resource for everyone in the trans* community. As a forum for support, advocacy, and change, TBOS is a strong link in the chain that will eventually pull the community together.

“Come together and meet, problem solve, [and] pull all of our resources together for the main goal; a strong and united Trans* community that works for all of us! In the face of oppression, solidarity is what wins,” Cherubini noted.

To learn more, search for "Trans Baltimore Outreach Society" on Facebook.

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

HIGH LIFE

ON STAGE

MATT ALBER

Photo by Adrian Lourie

Gay Men's Chorus of D.C. to Perform Sparkle, Jingle, Joy

BY FRANKIE KUJAWA Sparkle, Jingle, Joy are among the things that the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington D.C. (GMCW) hopes audiences will take away from their upcoming holiday performance this December. Kicking off its 33rd season, the GMCW’s holiday numbers will warm the hearts of audiences, while delightfully entertaining with humor. Sparkle, Jingle, Joy will feature over 200 remarkable singers as well as multiple dazzling dance numbers.

“Sparkle, Jingle, Joy captures the true spirit of the holidays—the fabulous festivities, the warm feelings of spending time with loved ones, and the joy of beginning a new year,” GMCW’s Artistic Director, Jeff Buhrman explained.

This performance also marks the return of Grammy Award-winning singer and songwriter Matt Alber. Alber, who performed with the chorus back in February 2013 for a special gay wedding extravaganza, is back to celebrate the season with his amazing vocal talent. Gay Life recently chatted with Matt about his holiday performance with the GMCW, his upcoming projects, and the importance of mistletoe-ing this holiday season.

Thank you for sitting down with us, Matt! When did you realize that music was something you wanted to pursue for a career?

I think I first got bit by the bug when I was 9 years old while skating at the roller rink in Wichita, Kan., where I was born.

They used to play music videos on a big screen on the side wall of the rink and I remember watching Michael Jackson dance and sing like nobody I’d ever heard or seen before. I used to sing “Billy Jean” and “Beat It” at the top of my lungs and make up my own choreography. They even had a light-up dance floor at the rink which I co-opted as my personal stage. I’d get lost in those songs and imagine myself BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

getting to sing songs that made people feel like I did at that roller-rink.

You write so many songs dedicated to finding love or losing love. Where do you draw your material from?

Love is a ride we’re all experienced with.

I think writing songs must be a lot like writing greeting cards. You can either sell the perfect-ideal-wrapped-in-a-bow kind you find at the drugstore, or you can sell the kind that finds the real cracks in love and sets them in letterpress on card-stock at the back of a bookstore. I try to write the latter from the cracks in my own life.

Do you have any new music or albums coming out soon?

I’m about to record a new album in January/February. The working title is Wind, Sand, Stars borrowed from a beautiful memoir by the gentleman who wrote The Little Prince—Antoine de SaintExupery. I’ll be offering a pre-sale just after Thanksgiving for folks interested in helping me produce it which will include an instant download of the title track and if I can swing it, an in-studio music video to accompany it. I’ll have the information

listed on my website, MattAlber.com.

THE GAY MEN'S CHORUS OF WASHINGTON, D.C. PRESENTS SPARKLE, JINGLE, JOY

Friday, Dec. 20, 2013 • 8PM Saturday, Dec. 21, 2013 • 3 & 8PM Lisner Auditorium 730 21st Street, NW Washington, DC. W202.293.1548 TGMCW.org

This performance marks your second performance with the GMCW this year. Do you enjoy working with a choir this large?

The gentlemen of GMCW are some of the most talented and friendly fellas I’ve ever sung with. I have a huge crush on them— and their hunky dancers—so when Jeff Burhman, their director, called and invited me to come spend Christmas with them, I jumped at the chance to come back.

What can audiences expect from the performance of Sparkle, Jingle, Joy? Can you give us any previews?

Lots of backstage mistletoe-ing, haha.

Lots! But you probably mean on stage. I get to sing a very special song with the guys this year—a brand new arrangement of a song called “Star of Wonder.” This isn’t the church hymn, but rather a mystical re-telling of the song by one of the Roche sisters, sung from the point of view of a shepherd on a hill. I’ll also have some solo time on the stage for this concert while the gents are catching their breath and mistletoe-ing!

DECEMBER 2013

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HIGH LIFE

LESLIE JORDAN

FILM

Telling Tall Tales

LESLIE JORDAN DISCUSSES LATEST ROLE IN SOUTHERN BAPTIST SISSIES

BY FRANKIE KUJAWA Actor and playwright Leslie Jordan has charmed audiences over the last three decades with his southern charm and hilarious wit. Recently, the 4´11˝ actor has been creating buzz among the LGBT film festival circuit for his role of Peanut in Del Shore’s Southern Baptist Sissies. Sissies, a film of the live play of the same name, recounts the struggles of four gay men raised in the Southern Baptist religion. Jordan plays the role of Peanut, a regular at the local gay bar.

Gay Life recently chatted with Jordan who discussed Southern Baptist Sissies, his struggle with substance abuse, and his very close encounter with Robert Downey, Jr.

What drew you to the role of Peanut?

The character of Peanut was written for me.

Del Shores calls me his muse. He wrote this scene [in Southern Baptist Sissies] for me. I play an old drunk, but in real life I’m 16 years sober.

Years ago, I used to sit at a bar on Santa Monica Boulevard called Hunters, and used to pick up hustlers. [Laughs] Honey, I’d start drinking at noon if I didn’t have a call that day. I told Del about those boys, and I’d be damned if that bitch didn’t use every story that I told him in that play.

Was it difficult playing Peanut, who was mostly drunk throughout the whole play?

I got sober on Oct. 20, 1997. The original version was written after that, sometime in the late ‘90s. But here I had to sit on that barstool and pretend to drink. Well I went to the props master and said, ‘honey, I taste alcohol on stage.’ He said, ‘it’s just a glass and bottled water.’ I didn’t want to seem like a diva, but I kept asking if he was using an old vodka bottle, or if there was any way alcohol may have slipped into the drink.

Well, I went a bit further and decided I wanted to mix my own drink. I put iced tea in it. Soon I realized it was my sense memory. Put me on that stage and once I’d start acting drunk, sure enough honey, I would start to taste it. Every night I would PAGE 10

DECEMBER 2013

walk away a free man, and I felt like it was such a poignant part of the play each night.

I could say all those silly things each night, playing drunk, then put on my clothes and go home sober. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for Del Shores.

So you could say it was almost cathartic to play this role considering your past 16 years of sobriety?

That’s more of the old me up there than just ‘playing’ Peanut. At one time I had three DUI’s and I was, what we call, a guest of the state. [Laughs]. They put me in a cell, and I shared it with Robert Downey, Jr. There we were, in cell 13. He was top bunk and I was the bottom bunk. I always tell people that Robert was top and I was bottom. He’s straight, but totally gay friendly.

What is the overall message of Southern Baptist Sissies?

More than anything it’s the message of acceptance. I took a straight friend of mine to the see it, and he never had that type of religious upbringing, and he wasn’t from the South. Meanwhile I did and had a lot of guilt. My friend asked the same question.

The main message is acceptance, but I also feel it’s an indictment of religion as a whole.

Del doesn’t think so, but that’s my opinion.

Have you ever been to Baltimore?

I have never been to Baltimore, can you believe that? Let me tell you, honey, John Waters is an idol of mine. He’s one of the few people that have a sense of humor like me. John Waters always comes into town and eats at this restaurant, and I’ve tried to get the nerve to approach him for like seven years. I’d love to check out Baltimore some day!

What are some of the current projects you have going on right now?

Well, I’ve been traveling and performing around the country. I’m back in L.A. and then I head out on the road again. Hollywood isn’t calling right now, but I do my guest parts like on FOX’s Raising Hope. I’m on TV Land, too. [Laughs] That’s where they put all us old Hollywood actors out to pasture.

Del Shores’ play Southern Baptist Sissies was filmed live on stage and is currently touring the film festival circuit.

SOUTHERN BAPTIST SISSIES

Photo courtesy of Dan Demello Public Relations

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

DINING OUT

Samos Greek Island Grill

BY JOHN CULLEN WITH MARTY SHAYT

Samos, the well-regarded mainstay in Baltimore’s Greektown, opened a second location, Samos Greek Island Grill, earlier this fall in the new Canton Crossing shopping center on Boston Street. The shopping center is a bit of an urban anomaly. It’s as if a suburban strip mall—complete with big box stores like Target, Michael’s, Old Navy and a Harris Teeter grocery store—had been magically replicated at the base of Brewer’s Hill within sight of the iconic neon Natty Boh sign and I-95. The new Samos Greek Island Grill appears as though it could easily be a contemporary coffee or fast food joint with

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

its windowed walls, high ceilings, abstract art and a dozen black topped tables.

While you’d never guess it from the look of the place, the menu is all Greek (but a subset of what’s offered on the main Samos menu). You’ll find a half dozen spreads served with triangles of pita ($5-6), entrée salads including a Samos Greek salad ($812), made-here soups ($3/cup), small plates ($7-12), Greek wraps ($6-9), and a handful of platters ($12-16), which come with a Greek salad and choice of one side.

At the fast food style counter, Marty ordered a Grilled Shrimp skewer wrap ($8).

John, as well as our friend Tom, opted for a gyro platter ($13). Our buddy Paul ordered a cup of Avgolemono soup ($3) with lamb koftas ($10).

The small Greek salad showed up first; some feta cheese cubes on top were the only differentiation from a garden salad. Paul’s soup starter was okay, but arrived lukewarm.

The gyro platters proved a disappointment; double helpings of tzatziki sauce or a few triangles of pita didn’t rescue a pile of room

temperature, dried out gyro meat. John chose the Greek fries as his side. He foolishly envisioned a feta sauce on top of hot fries, but was given a dish with small pieces of feta cheese on top of fries that tasted like they had sat around as long as the gyro meat. Tom’s choice of roasted veggies as his side dish proved lucky. The combo of roasted potatoes, pepper, carrots, and onions proved far tastier than the Greek fries. Marty’s pita wrap looked like a shrimp gyro with four skewed grilled shrimp,some tzatziki, and lettuce. He felt it was okay, but wouldn’t go out of his way to get it again. Paul’s koftas included two golf ball sized lamb meat balls along with tzatziki, some rice pilaf with spinach dill, plus a couple small triangles of pita. The koftas weren’t hot and the pilaf looked more interesting than it tasted.

We’ve got good memories of the original Samos in Greektown, where we’ve had great, tasty food and the long time waitresses were as colorful as the murals of Greece on the walls. By contrast, Samos Greek Island Grill is a fast food joint with teenagers behind the

counter and uninspired food that tasted like it had been sitting around for hours before it was served. If that wasn’t enough, we were further discouraged by the nondescript fast food décor, a dozen small tables packed uncomfortably close to each other and a large entry door in the dining area will make it uncomfortably cold in winter. All of this left us wishing that we had eaten at the original Samos, which is less than a mile away at 600 Oldham Street.

SAMOS GREEK ISLAND GRILL

3745 Boston St. W410-276-0165 T SamosGreekIslandGrill.net Open for lunch and dinner Monday–Saturday 11am–9pm No bar • Adjacent free parking Vegetarian Options

Email DiningOut@BaltimoreGayLife.com and find all prior reviews at BaltimoreGayLife-DiningOut.info.

DECEMBER 2013

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DECEMBER 2013

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

HIGH LIFE

FILM

Hunks in Trunks Back in Baltimore

BY TED BLANKENSHIP

What could be more fun than an evening of Hunks in Trunks? Join Moveable Feast, The RGroup.org, and all of the hot models at the Red Maple, on Dec. 17. This all-male fashion and swimsuit show is a fun opportunity to warm up your holidays and support a great organization.

This will be the eighth annual Hunks in Trunks, hosted by Ted Hart and The RGroup.org. Moveable Feast will benefit from an auction that will take place during the evening, when the swimsuits that are modeled will be auctioned to the highest

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

bidder. The funds raised from the auction will help Moveable Feast as they work to feed people, fight disease, and foster hope.

Founded in the gay community 25 years ago, Moveable Feast delivers nutritious meals, at no cost, to people who are fighting HIV/ AIDS. The need for their services continues to grow, and events like Hunks in Trunks help to ensure that the organization is able to provide services to everyone who needs their support. Although originally founded to help those fighting HIV/AIDS, Moveable Feast now serves women with breast cancer, men with prostate cancer, people who are homeless, and anyone who is facing a life-threatening illness. The group delivers meals in Baltimore City, the five surrounding counties, and the Eastern Shore of Maryland. In 2014, Moveable Feast will open a distribution site on the Eastern Shore in order to meet the increased need for their services.

“Hunks in Trunks is a fun filled evening, and a great way to support our local community,” Tom Bonderenko, Moveable Feast’s executive director, said. “Because the monies generated at the event support Moveable

Feast, those attending enjoy delightful eye candy, while our clients benefit with delicious, nutritious meals. It’s a win-win for everyone!”

Moveable Feast was invited to benefit from the charity auction by the RGroup.org, which is Maryland’s largest gay and lesbian social group. Membership is free and the 1,600 members of this online community have a mission to build the gay community by promoting gay parties, dining, theater, private shopping nights, products and services, and networking. To join, or learn more, visit RGroup.org.

Hunks in Trunks is described as a labor of love by organizer Ted Hart. All of the expenses for the event are covered by ticket sales, so that 100 percent of the charity auction will benefit Moveable Feast. Hunks in Trunks has benefited several community organizations in the past, including the GLCCB. Moveable Feast will benefit for the first time this year from the event.

VIP tables and tickets are already sold out, and general admission tickets are moving

quickly at the reasonable price of $23 for one person and $19.50 per ticket if you purchase two or more tickets. Included in the ticket price are a free drink and a $25 gift card for TatteeBoy.com, whose bathing suits will be modeled that evening. To purchase tickets, visit HunksInTrunks.org and use ticket code MFEAST. Moveable Feast has committed to selling 55 tickets for this event and using that code will help them reach that goal.

Hunks in Trunks promises to be a fun filled evening of fashion, hot models and giving back to the community. Don’t miss this great event!

HUNKS IN TRUNKS

Benefiting Moveable Feast Tuesday, Dec. 17 • 6:30pm • $23 Red Maple 930 N. Charles St. T HunksInTrunks.org (Use ticket code MFEAST)

DECEMBER 2013

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Gay Life

Holiday Gift Guide

3

Compiled by Jennifer Vance & Kate Hull

Looking for the perfect gift to give your friends, family, and loved ones this holiday season? We’ve taken to the streets of Baltimore to find a selection of goodies from a few of our favorite LGBT-friendly businesses just in time for the holidays. From those last minute emergency gifts to uniquely baubles and knick-knacks that scream Baltimore, we’ve got you covered.

Mt. Vernon Fitness

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Reduced Membership Give the gift of fitness: sign up for an annual membership with Mt. Vernon Fitness and get the first month free. Bring a copy of this offer to redeem. Offer expires December 31.

1016 N. Charles St. 410-878-2990 MVfit.com

Atomic Cheesecake Studio

2

Create your own American Pinup Treat your girlfriend—and yourself— to a fun and sexy photo shoot. Action Girl (AKA Stacey Barich) pays homage to the fabulous pin ups of the war years to the early sixties, and captures the honest beauty of the female form. She dares women of all shapes and sizes to come PAGE 18

DECEMBER 2013

by and NOT have a blast! Get 50 dollars off ANY gift card when you mention Baltimore Gay Life!

2806 Superior Ave. (Parkville) AtomicCheesecakeStudios.com

Minás Gallery and Boutique

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Ties for him or her!

Minás is a two for one shopping stop: an art gallery and vintage clothing boutique.

This year, the fine folks at Minás are offering new mini ties that will be sure to compliment any wardrobe choice for your favorite fashion conscientious boy or girl!

These Italian imports from Selini Neckwear ($14) are perfect for dress up, photos, or last minute presents.

815 W. 36th St. 410-732-4258 MinasGalleryAndBoutique.com

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Sugar

4

Sexy Stocking Stuffers Sugar offers an array of fabulous stocking stuffers for both the naughty and the nice people on your holiday list, including Andrew Christian underwear ($20, available in multiple colors), a Sexy Weekend Kit ($44, which includes varies sensual items), and Ecstasy is Necessary by Barbara Carellas for your favorite lady bookworm ($16.95).

927 W. 36th St. 410-467- 2632 SugarTheShop.com

Baltimore Clayworks 5 Not Your Ordinary Ceramic Crafts Baltimore Clayworks offers a wide range of ceramic pieces this season, including the gorgeous You’re Dreamy stonewear cup by Patty Bilbro ($35), the Ruby Red Pony mug by Michelle Swafford ($40), and the Pen and Ink Porcelain plate by Bianka Groves ($45).

5707 Smith Ave. 410-578-1919 BaltimoreClayWorks.org

Mud and Metal

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Beautiful Ornaments made locally Enjoy crafts handmade by amazing local artists. This holiday season, Mud and Metal is offering the perfect gift that keeps giving: A ceramic ornament that pays homage to the Maryland’s famed blue crab ($6.50). The ornament was designed and crafted by the students of St. Elizabeth School, a nonpublic, special education school located in Baltimore City. Portions of sale proceeds will go back to St. Elizabeth.

1121 W. 36th St. 410-467-8698 MudAndMetal.com

Trohv Home and Gift 7

Quintessential Baltimore Gifts Throv is an inventive, independentlyowned shop featuring home goods and gifts. They offer a large selection of fabulously kitschy baubles including store exclusive Baltimore Neighborwoods ($37), which is a mapped coaster of famed Baltimore neighborhoods, and the fantastically fun coffee table book, Lost Baltimore ($18.95). For your favorite whacky Christmas tree enthusiasts, check out the merman/mermaid Christmas tree ornaments ($32.00 each).

921 W. 36th St. 410-366-3456 TrohvShop.com

Pet Valu

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For your favorite furry friend Pet Valu has a wide variety of food, treats, and toys for both dogs and cats, includBALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

ing an adorable Holiday Dragon chew toy available in two sizes ($12-17) and a fun catnip “Sushi” plate that would please even your most finicky feline friend ($9.99).

1209 N. Charles St. 410-230-0410 Us.PetValu.com

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Spirits of Mt Vernon

Holiday Beverage Needs Spirits of Mount Vernon is a neighborhood shop with an extensive selection of wine from the U.S. and Europe, as well as premium organic and kosher wines. Mention Boris the Wine Dog and get 10% off of your wine purchase.

900 N. Charles St. 410-727-7270 SpiritsOfMt.Vernon.com

Ma Petite Shoe

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Chocolate and Shoe Lovers Ma Petite Shoe is an independently owned boutique, specializing in shoes and chocolate in the heart of Hampden. This season, Ma Petite Shoe has hand painted chocolate shoes ($30-37). The Chocolate shoe comes in dark, milk and white chocolate with a variety of styles including zebra stripes and polka dots.

830 W. 36th St. 410-235-3442 MaPetiteShoe.com

The Gift Cellar

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Home-grown art The Gift Cellar carries a variety of items crafted by over 40 Maryland artists. Artists selling their work at The Gift Cellar receive 100% of the sales of each product.

December’s featured artist is Kris Williett with Artful Treasures. Reception with the artist will be held on December 6th from 6-9 at the store. You will be sure to find something for everyone on your holiday shopping list.

4337 Harford Rd. TheGiftCellarMaryland.com

Charmed Life Gallery and Tattoo

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Give the gift that last forever this holiday season—the gift of ink. Located in the popular neighborhood of Lauraville in Norteast Baltimore, Charmed Life Art Gallery & Tattoo Studio specializes in tattoos as art, meaning they love to do custom work.Mention this ad and receive 10% off your visit.

4505 Harford Rd. 443-449-7630 CharmedLifeGallery.com Find more great gift ideas on BaltimoreGayLife.com

Holiday Charity Guide

By Paige Hunter In the name of friendship and family that are the hallmark of winter holidays, consider making a donation to your favorite charity or non-profit organization. We’ve compiled a list of some of our favorites!

genderqueer, agender, and otherwise gender noncomforming people.

Based in Oregon, but serves people as national and international as possible.

Faith in America FaithInAmerica.org An organization of people of faith (nondenominational) who fight against religion-based bigotry.

American Military Partners Association MilitaryPartners.org

LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS

A resource and support network for the partners and spouses of LGBT personnel (and veterans) of the US military.

GLCCB

Campus Pride

GLCCB.org/donate

CampusPride.org

Our parent organization, the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore.

Campus Pride serves LGBT and ally student leaders and campus organizations in areas of leadership development, support groups, services to create a safe space, and a more inclusive campus. Based in North Carolina, it gives college LGBT leaders the ability to put voice to actions.

FreeState Legal Project FreeStateLegal.org Offers assistance with legal issues, particularly those pertaining to the LGBT community, including name changes, powers of attorney, and discrimination cases.

Chase Brexton Health Care

ChaseBrexton.org/index.php/donate Providing the communities of Baltimore with affordable health care, ranging from behavioral health, HIV/ AIDS, addictions, dental, OB/GYN, and more.

iHollaback Bmore.ihollaback.org

National Center for Transgender Equality Transequality.org NCTE is a Washington, D.C.-based social justice organization dedicated to the advancement of transgender people through advocacy, collaboration, and empowerment.

Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) GLSEN.org

NATIONWIDE ORGANIZATIONS

GLSEN works to ensure that LGBT students are able to learn and grow in school environment free of bullying and Harassment. (Have a Baltimore Chapter but I didn’t see if it could be donated to. They are trying to go to a youth summit in the get involved section on their website)

Black Trans men

National LGBT Museum

Black Trans women

Dedicated to sharing the heritages of LGBT people and their contributions, throughout history. Based in DC.

Hollaback deals with campaigning against street harassment and is a national organization also.

BlackTransMen.org

BackTransWomen.org

These two organizations above are brother and sister to each other, in order to help out other brothers and sisters in Black communities nationwide.

TransActive TransActiveOnline.org/index.php A resource for trans*gender,

NationalLGBTMuseum.org

Arabs for Tolerance Arabs4Tolerance.org A coalition of Arabic persons and those of Arabic heritage dedicated to tolerance of LGBT people in Arabic nations, abroad, and in Islam-majority areas.

DECEMBER 2013

PAGE 19

REAL LIFE

NATIONAL & INTERNATIONAL NEWS BY RACHEL ROTH GERMANY ILLINOIS IRELAND

MAINE

WASHINGTON

NEW JERSEY WYOMING

VIRGINIA

HAWAII

ITALY

TEXAS

LUXEMBOURG

Senate passes ENDA, moves to House NATIONWIDE

The Senate voted 64-32 to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) on Nov. 4, marking the first time the chamber has approved the legislation since its introduction in 1994.

Every Democratic senator and 10 Republicans voted in favor of the bill.

The bill, which would extend workplace discrimination protections to include sexual orientation and gender identity, now heads to the House, where it is unlikely to be passed as Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, deemed the legislation “unnecessary.”

Gay marriage legal in two additional states HAWAII & ILLINOIS

State lawmakers in Hawaii and Illinois passed measures that legalized gay marriage.

Governors in both states—Gov. Pat Quinn in Illinois and Hawaiian Gov. Neil Abercrombie—signed the landmark legislation into law last month, bringing the total number of states allowing gay marriage to 16.

In Hawaii, the law goes into effect Dec. 2, and in Illinois, it goes into effect on June 1.

States resist processing benefits for gay couples VARIOUS

Six states are defying the Pentagon’s orders to extend benefits to same-sex partners of PAGE 24

DECEMBER 2013

National Guard personnel.

According to The New York Times, bases in Texas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, and West Virginia instruct couples to travel to federal bases to register for a military spouse ID. The Times reports that lawmakers argue that National Guard units are state agencies that have to adhere to state laws—like gay marriage bans.

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin said that sending gay military couples to federal bases “protects the integrity of our state Constitution and sends a message to the federal government that they cannot simply ignore our laws or the will of the people.”

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel has demanded states comply with national standards, but Pentagon officials have not said what steps they would take with states that do not fall in line.

Maine congressmen and gubernatorial candidate comes out MAINE

Last month, Maine Rep. Michael Michaud announced he was gay, becoming the eighth openly LGBT member of Congress and the first to come out while in office since 1996.

Michaud, who is running as a Democrat for governor in next year’s election, made the announcement via an op-ed in three local newspapers. Michaud chose this venue in order to curb “whisper campaigns, insinuations and push-polls some of the people opposed to my candidacy have been using to

raise questions about my personal life.”

“They want people to question whether I am gay,” he wrote. “Allow me to save them the trouble with a simple, honest answer: ‘Yes I am. But why should it matter?’”

Michaud also implored his opponents to leave candidates’ personal lives out of the campaign.

“We’ve had enough negativity in our politics and too many personal attacks over the last few years,” he wrote. “We owe it to the people of Maine to focus on how we get our state back on track.”

and Washington state senator Ed Murray defeated incumbent Mike McGinn to become Seattle’s first openly gay mayor.

According to Chuck Wolfe, president and CEO of the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund, 54 of the 85 candidates endorsed by the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund were projected to win their respective races, and three candidates were headed to runoffs.

Governor-elect to address LGBT equality first

The Southern PovertyLaw Center (SPLC) has demanded that a Texas teen, who identifies as trans, be allowed to wear a tuxedo in his high school yearbook. Officials at La Feria High said that publishing a photo of Jeydon Loredo in a tux would “violate community standards.”

Loredo and representatives from SPLC and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) appealed the decision at a school board meeting, but the board refused to take action.

The SPLC has said it will take legal action if the school board does not confirm in writing

by Nov. 21 that Jeydon’s tuxedo photo will appear in the yearbook.

VIRGINIA

Terry McAuliffe, who was narrowly elected governor of Virginia on Nov. 5, has promised that his first executive order will aim to protect LGBT state workers against discrimination.

McAuliffe, a Democrat, had foreshadowed the executive order while campaigning, saying in April that he would “make sure that every single individual in the commonwealth of Virginia is treated fair and equal.”

Good elections returns for LGBT candidates TEXAS & WASHINGTON

Dozens of LGBT candidates came out victorious in the Nov. 5 elections, with two of America’s largest cities electing or re-electing LGBT mayors. Annise Parker secured a third term as mayor of Houston,

Groups demand trans teen be allowed to wear tuxedo TEXAS

Waitress denied tip for “gay lifestyle” NEW JERSEY

A New Jersey waitress was denied a tip from a family because she is a lesbian. In lieu of money, Dayna Morales, the 22-year old former Marine Corps member, received a GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

note on the receipt of a $93.55 bill.

“I'm sorry but I cannot tip because I do not agree with what your lifestyle and how you live your life,” the patron of the Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater wrote.

“I was offended. I was mad at first, and then I was more so hurt,” Morales told CNN. “It's disrespectful and it's hurtful,” she continued. “I feel bad for their children because that's how they are going to be raised.”

Once Morales’ story got out, tips have been pouring in from all over the world. The restaurant set up a Pay-Pal account and, as of press time, she said she has received more than $2000 from people “from Germany to South Africa, Australia to the UK, San Diego, everywhere.”

Liz and Mary Cheney argue over marriage equality WYOMING

The Cheney sisters got into a public feud last month after Liz Cheney—who is running for Senator of Wyoming—told FOX News that she “believes in the traditional definition of marriage.” Liz went on to say that while she loves her sister Mary, who is married to a woman, “this is just an issue on which we disagree.”

Mary and her wife, Heather Poe, fired back on their Facebook pages, writing; “Liz—this isn’t just an issue on which we disagree, you’re just wrong—and on the wrong side of history.”

Poe added that Liz’s anti-gay marriage stance is “offensive to say the least.” according to The New York Times, she also brought up the residency controversy that has damaged Liz’s Senate campaign.

“I can’t help but wonder how Liz would feel if as she moved from state to state, she discovered that her family was protected in one but not the other,” Poe wrote. “Yes, Liz, in 15 states and the District of Columbia, you are my sister-in-law.”

According to the Times, Mary said that although Liz will be present at the family’s Christmas celebration, she “won’t be seeing her.”

LGBT people of color among most disadvantaged in workforce NATIONWIDE

A new report on demographic information about LGBT workers of color has revealed that they are among the most disadvantaged workers in America.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force reported that LGBT people of color face extraordinarily high rates of unemployment and poverty due to discrimination coupled with a lack of workplace protections, unequal job benefits, pay, and taxation, and unsafe, under-resourced U.S. schools.

According to a 2012 Gallup Poll, roughly one-third of LGBT people are people of color.

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

Global trans homicide report released WORLDWIDE

In honor of the 15th International Transgender Day of Remembrance, the Transgender Murder Monitoring Project (TMM) released its findings on global homicide.

This past year, 238 trans people were murdered worldwide. Brazil and Mexico topped the list of the nations with the most reported killings. Ironically, same-sex couples in both countries won judicial rulings in the past year that pave the way for nationwide marriage equality.

Since the start of 2013, 22 trans people were reported killed. Eleven of these were under the age of 18.

The TMM report only includes murders of trans people that can be documented through publicly available information or are reported by local advocacy organizations, and so may not be a complete picture of the scope of crimes committed worldwide.

German babies can be ‘indeterminate’ at birth GERMANY

Germany will become the first European nation to introduce a third gender option on birth certificates. In addition to “male” and “female,” parents will have the option of selecting “blank.”

According to Der Spiegel, a new legislative change will enable parents to opt out of determining their baby’s gender, thereby allowing those born with characteristics of both sexes to choose whether to become male or female in later life.

Under the new law, individuals can also opt to remain outside the gender binary altogether. It remains unclear how the change will affect gender assignment in other personal documents, like passports, which still require people to choose between male and female.

in the HRC Corporate Equality Index, are the result of meetings with civil and human rights leaders in Italy and the United States, it says.

They are reflected in our policies and the benefits we provide to all employees, regardless of age, disability, gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Colzani emphasized that while the company has a long history of non-discriminatory practices, he also said [Barilla is] committed to promoting diversity further because we firmly believe that it’s the right thing to do.”

EU court says persecuted gay and lesbian Africans can seek asylum LUXEMBOURG

The Court of Justice of the European Union has ruled in that three openly gay men seeking to immigrate to the Netherlands to escape persecution in Uganda, Sierra Leone and Senegal qualify for asylum.

The ruling could potentially enable other LGBT Africans to seek asylum in the EU, if they meet certain criteria.

According to The Advocate, the court made it clear that the criminalization of homosexuality alone doesn’t justify asylum.

“The acts of persecution must be sufficiently serious by their nature of repetition as to constitute a severe violation of human rights,” the court said.

Barilla announces “Diversity and Inclusion” initiative in wake of CEO’s comments ITALY

Barilla Pasta has announced a major “diversity and inclusion” initiative in response to controversy surrounding homophobic remarks from the company’s CEO. Last month, Living Out reported that Guido Barilla sparked outrage among activists, consumers and some politicians when he said he would not consider using a gay family to advertise Barilla pasta because gay families don’t represent traditional families.

In a press release touting the company’s new initiatives, Chief Executive Officer Claudio Colzani said; “diversity, inclusion and equality have long been grounded in Barilla’s culture, values and code of conduct.”

The new Diversity & Inclusion Board, a Global Diversity Officer, and participation DECEMBER 2013

PAGE 25

Holiday Gift Givers

OUR LIFE

BY JUSTIN B. TERRY-SMITH

A Long Way, Baby

BY COURTNEY BEDELL

Gay Life is pleased to announce that Courtney Bedell has signed on as Gay Life’s newest columnist. Beginning in next month, Courtney will write a monthly transgender advice column that will cover all aspects of transgender life ranging from the practical aspects of transitioning, to employment, family, and social concerns.

Courtney transitioned more than 20 years ago while employed at John’s Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory ( JHU-APL).

“Naturally, there were the inevitable bumps in the road, but it was the most extraordinary and positive experience of my life; no less than a personal renaissance and rebirth,” she says. “I was very lucky to have had support from work, as well as the acceptance and love from my family and friends.”

Her supervisor at JHU-APL helped ‘smooth the waters,’ as he put it, and she successfully transitioned while on the job. “I know this is not always the typical transgender experience for everyone,” Courtney says. “My hope in writing this column is that I can share some of the insight and knowledge I have gained through my experience as a transgender woman and help others in their quest for wholeness.”

We are requesting questions from anyone who needs advice or simply wants to know more about transgender life. Have a question?

Trying to solve a problem? Want some feedback? Let Courtney know about it by emailing advice@baltimoregaylife.com.

In my LBGT Women’s Studies class a few classmates were discussing how bad it still is for the LGBT community; that we should have equal rights now! Of course, it is right for us to want this but, I thought, how about a little perspective? If you grew up as I did in the ‘60s and ‘70s you have seen how far we’ve come. Things have never been better for us than they are right now.

In the ‘60s the very idea of transsexuality was unheard of. Expressing transgender feelings could land you in a mental institution and the treatment was often electroshock therapy. Those with TS feelings had no hope for relief. With the development of the Standards of Care, the Johns Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic opened in the late ‘60s, helping change the course of PAGE 26

DECEMBER 2013

treatment for transsexuals.

Still, in 1975 transsexuality was so rare tennis-pro Renee Richard’s MtoF sexchange made the cover of Time magazine.

Her story was likely the first encounter middle-America had with a TG. Wendy Carlos of Switched on Bach fame came out in a Playboy interview in 1978. In the ‘80s and ‘90s tens of thousands of adult transsexuals, like myself, who had grown up with no hope of living in their proper gender, sought treatment and transitioned.

Now, there is an ongoing mainstream national dialog discussing transsexuality. It has even become un-politically correct to not accept transgendered people. My own transition in the early ‘90s went smoothly and I received acceptance, often from the most unlikely places.

To the young people who want it all right now I say, have patience and a little faith.

We’ll get there. It takes time for a major shift in thinking to become the norm. I have experienced the changes first-hand so I know how far we’ve come. The congressional bill for a federal law protecting TG rights is proof of the sea-change in America’s thinking! So, let’s have faith in our LGBT brothers and sisters to keep moving us forward. Each day when I wake up and look at the woman in the mirror I feel nothing but gratitude and give thanks to the universe, America, and my LGBT family who’ve helped make my life possible!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Yule—you have HIV. There are plenty of gifts that many of us plan on giving loved ones, family, friends, and even strangers, but did you know there are many people in the world today who plan on giving the “gift” of HIV to those who want it? These people are called gift givers. Consequentially, there are bug chasers who look to get the “gift” of HIV. I’ve written about this before, but this month I’d like to go more in-depth on the subject matter.

As someone who already has HIV, I don’t understand why anyone would want HIV or want to give HIV to someone. When I think of all the challenges HIV has presented in my life—the pain of having to go to the doctor frequently; worrying how many T-Cells I have or how much my viral load has risen; contemplating what I’m going to die of; wondering if I forgot to take my daily HIV medications; and remembering my friends who have died of AIDS—it boggles my mind that someone would consider HIV as a “gift.”

I decided to download some mobile applications on my phone that many men go onto to hook up with other men for friendship, dates, sex, and relationships. (By the way, I won’t reveal my name or anyone else’s name on any mobile applications mentioned.)

I asked to interview people confidentially about why they engage in bug chasing and gift giving behavior. I spoke to one bug chaser and asked the simple question of, WHY? He was very apprehensive about answering my questions, but he did honestly.

There were many reasons why he actively sought to be infected with HIV. One reason was that he felt like he was going to get HIV anyway. I got the feeling that he didn’t want to be afraid of the risk of getting HIV and that there were many friends who already had the disease. He also commented on how HIV medications are very advanced now, and once he could get on the medications,

they would keep him healthy. After speaking with him, I wanted to learn more. I went back to the online dating applications to look for more bug chasers/gift givers to learn more.

One man said that most or all of his friends were HIV positive and he didn’t feel a part of the crowd.

He simply wanted to belong and felt that being HIV positive would make him part of some sort of secrecy or fraternal order. He further explained that there were social clubs that catered to HIV positive gay men and he felt that he wanted to belong. He also wanted to have the kind of sex that he wanted without reservations of using a condom. He said he loved the way raw sex felt and didn’t like using condoms at all.

When listening to these men, I think about their reasons for doing the things they do. Knowing these reasons, I had to wonder if this act of gift giving and bug chasing had a deeper issue.

In my opinion the act of bug chasing/gift giving is highly detrimental not only physically but mentally. Everyone wants to belong to a group and feel love from others, but this is the wrong way to go about it. We are all free to do what we will with our own bodies and who am I to tell anyone what to do, but try to know the deeper meaning on why you are doing it. Remember that the best gift that you can give yourself or bug you can catch is love for yourself. Happy Holidays!

Justin B. Terry-Smith is a noted HIV and gay civil rights activist and the creator of ‘Justin’s HIV Journal,” a popular blog in which he shares his trials and tribulations of living with HIV. A U.S. Air Force veteran, Justin resides in Laurel, Md. with his husband, Dr. Philip Terry-Smith and their son Londyn.

Photographer: Don Harris.

Don Harris Photographics, LLC, © 2011 All Rights Reserved.

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

BETTER LIFE

QUEER HEALTH

'Tis the Season To Check In On Your Mental Health

BY ALICIA GABRIEL AND REVIEWED BY DR. JULI BUCHANAN, DIRECTOR OF BEHAVIORAL HEALTH FOR CHASE BREXTON HEALTH CARE Even if Hallmark thinks the word ‘gay’ should be replaced with the word ‘fun’, sometimes it’s just not fun being gay. The winter holidays are one of the hardest times for many of us in the LGBT community. (Maybe that’s why Pride is always in the summer?) From dealing with homophobic family members, to endless ‘festive’ work parties, to becoming more aware of just how little money you have in the bank, the holidays can feel less gay and more like a burden.

‘Tis the season for depression, but here are some ideas that may help you get through:

BE REALISTIC.

Who among us hasn’t thought that THIS holiday will be the one that all those movies are about? Suddenly our family is supportive and loving, the love of our lives appears, and for absolutely no reason we’ve made a billion dollars and paid off all our bills! (Plus, we lost 10 pounds without even trying.) Reality: The holidays are not magic. Problems continue through them.

Things probably won’t be perfectly perfect.

And that’s normal. So, be prepared. It’s better to anticipate the norm than to be disappointed by lack of enchantment.

BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR BUDGET.

So you’re not a baller. Now is not the time to spend like you are. In fact, now is probably the best time to use a budget because now is when most of us have more obligations and events that require funds. The holidays will be over before you know it—and gifts are not a necessary way of showing friendship or love.

YOU CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO.

Express your feelings and let it out.

Crying to a stranger on the street might not be a good idea, but don’t bottle your feelings. Do it in a safe environment, preferably with people you love (or by

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

yourself, if you need). Do your best to not wallow; that will only make you feel worse and will counteract all the good that ‘letting it out’ does!

REACH OUT.

It’s not you, it’s the holidays. They really do make people feel lonelier and more isolated. Especially if their families don’t accept that they are LGBT. Check out the listing of community events in Gay Life or find local church events to go to (there are plenty of LGBT churches around).

Volunteer your time to help others—it feels good and you will meet people. You’re truly not alone. Just take that first step and make some new connections.

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.

Okay, so you’re officially depressed or well on your way there. Or maybe you realized that it’s time to come out to the family and friends. Or you’re ready to begin the transition. Or you just need to deal with whatever it is that has a hold on you emotionally. Make an appointment with a therapist and get the work going to help you make the changes you want to see in your life. (Chase Brexton in Mt. Vernon has therapy appointments available!)

Until 2014, have a perfectly normal, healthy, and non-depressive holiday season!

Reach the local gay market.

Advertise in

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.

Email Sales@ BaltimoreGayLife.com to place your ad today!

DECEMBER 2013

PAGE 27

SPOTLIGHT

SOCIAL LIFE

DATEBOOK BY RACHEL ROTH

Recurring & Ongoing Events

SUNDAYS Baltimore Farmers’ Market & Bazaar Every Sunday 7am-Noon Jones Falls Expressway Holliday & Saratoga Sts. PromotionAndArts.com Metropolitan Community Church Services Every Sunday 9am and 11am MCC Baltimore • 401 W. Monument St MCCBaltimore.org League of Women Bowlers Every Sunday 4:30pm AMF Marlow Heights Lanes 4717 St. Barnabas Rd. • Temple Hill LeagueOfWomenBowlers2@verizon.net

A Civil War Christmas

Now playing at Baltimore’s Center Stage, A Civil War Christmas: An American Musical Celebration is sure to delight audiences across the board. Written by Maryland native and Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Paula Vogel, the musical explores with vivid history, the diverse and intertwining lives of those in the nations capitol. Poetic and pure, the New York Times calls A Civil War Christmas “the rare holiday entertainment that brings intellectual nourishment as much as it entertains.”

Set on the eve of Christmas 1894, the tale of A Civil War Christmas is spun on a loom of booming voice, calculated choreography, and rich musical tenor.

A Civil War Christmas is a beautifully woven masterpiece that is not to be missed this holiday season!

A CIVIL WAR CHRISTMAS: AN AMERICAN MUSICAL CELEBRATION

Rise Up, Honoring Women’s Spirituality Fourth Sundays 12:45-2:15pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St. FirstUnitarian.net Westminster PFLAG Monthly Mtg. Third Sundays 7pm St. Paul’s United Church of Christ 17 Bond St. • Westminster PFLAGWCC.org Heterosexual Friendly Gay Brunch First Sunday Frederick’s on Fleet • 2112 Fleet St. FredericksOnFleet.com ASGRA Monthly Trail Ride First Sundays 10:30am • $25-30 Piscataway Stables 10775 Piscataway Road • Clinton ASGRA.org Charm City Volleyball: Competitive Play Every Sunday 10am-1pm • $7 Volleyball House 5635 Furnace Ave. • Elkridge VolleyBaltimore.org Service of Worship First Sundays 10:30am First & Franklin • 210 West Madison St. FirstFranklin.org

MONDAYS Interfaith Fairness Coalition Mtg. Second Mondays 3-4:30pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St. IFCMD.info

Thru December 22 • $19–59 CENTERSTAGE 700 N. Calvert St. T CenterStage.org

PFLAG Howard County Parent Forum Third Mondays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia PFLAGMD.org

Pictured above: the company of Center Stage's production of A Civil War Christmas by Paula Vogel, directed by Rebecca Taichman.

Photo © Richard Anderson.

Senior Pride: Discussion Group for Women 55+ Monday evenings Chase Brexton Health Services 410-837-2050 ext. 2428 www.bit.ly/SeniorPride

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DECEMBER 2013

TUESDAYS Howard County PFLAG Monthly Mtg. Second Tuesdays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia PFLAGMD.org Karate-Dō (LGBT-friendly classes) Every Tuesday 5:30-7:30pm Johns Hopkins Homewood Campus Bob Remington — MDShoto@aol.com Csskshotokan.com Meditation Group Every Tuesday 6:15-7:45pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St. FirstUnitarian.net PFLAG Baltimore Co. General Mtg. Fourth Tuesdays 7pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd. PFLAGBaltimore.org Parents of Transgender Kids Fourth Tuesdays 7:30-9pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia cvhyde@gmail.com PFLAGBaltimore.org Rainbow Youth Alliance of Baltimore County 2nd & 4th Tuesdays 7-9pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd. RYABaltimoreCounty@gmail.com Rainbow Youth Alliance of Howard County 2nd & 4th Tuesdays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia 410.280.9047 rya_leaders@hotmail.com Rainbow Youth Alliance of Baltimore City 1st, 3rd & 5th Tuesdays 7-9pm The GLCCB • 241 W. Chase St. RYABaltimore@gmail.com Facebook.com/groups/RYABaltimore Teen Program at JCC Second Tuesdays 6pm Owings Mills JCC 3506 Gwynnbrook Ave. JoinTeens.org Trans Parents Forum, Baltimore Co. Third Tuesdays 7-9:30pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd. PFLAGBaltimore.org

WEDNESDAYS Charm City Volleyball: Social Play Every Wednesday 6:30-9:30pm • $3-30 Mt Royal Recreational Center 137 McMechen St.

Living Well with HIV Support Group Every Wednesday 10:30am Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St. Jacques.umaryland.edu/support.html Spiritual Development with Rev. Sam Offer Every Wednesday 7pm Unity Fellowship Church of Baltimore 4007 Old York Rd. UFCB.org GEM: Gender Empowerment MD Every other Wednesday 7pm Equality Maryland • 1201 S. Sharp St. Owen@EqualityMaryland.org Senior Pride: Discussion Group for Men 55+ Wednesday evenings.

Chase Brexton Health Services 410-837-2050 ext. 2428 www.bit.ly/SeniorPride

THURSDAYS HIV Support: Substance Abuse & HIV Every Thursdays 2-3pm Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St. IHV.org Karate-Dō (LGBT-friendly classes) Every Thursday 5:30-7:30pm Johns Hopkins Homewood Campus Bob Remington — MDShoto@aol.com Csskshotokan.com

FRIDAYS HIV Support: Just Between US Every Friday 11am-Noon Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St. IHV.org

SATURDAYS Baltimore Frontrunners Every Saturday 8:45am • Brunch 10am Panera Bread, 3600 Boston St. BaltimoreFrontrunners.org HOPE DC Monthly Brunch First Saturdays 11am Rosemary’s Thyme Bistro DC 1801 18th St. NW • Washington, D.C. HopeDCSocials-owner@yahoogroups.com In the Company of Women First Saturdays 10am-Noon First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W Hamilton St. FirstUnitarian.net

YOU CAN FIND GLCCB EVENTS ON PAGE 6

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

Datebook

SUNDAY, DEC. 1 Festival of Trees Kennedy Krieger Institute’s annual holiday event • $7-13 • 10am-6pm MD State Fairgrounds: The Cow Palace 2200 York Road • Timonium FestivalOfTrees.KennedyKrieger.org A Civil War Christmas A musical tale of hope and forgiveness. $19-59 • 7:30pm CENTERSTAGE • 700 N. Calvert St. CenterStage.org

TUESDAY, DEC. 3

Fridays After Five Every Friday 5pm • $12 National Aquarium • 501 E. Pratt St. Aqua.org First Fridays First Friday of every month • FREE • 6:30pm Eastern & East Ave. CreativeAlliance.org Wine Tasting FREE • 5-8pm • Fridays Spirits of Mt Vernon Wine Shop 900 N. Charles St. SpiritsOfMtVernon.com

SUNDAY, DEC. 8

Irving Berlin’s White Christmas The holiday classic. $25-85 + fees • 8pm • Thru 12/8 Hippodrome • 12 N Eutaw St. France-MerrickPAC.com

A Talk by Gene Robinson Q&A with the gay Episcopal Bishop. $5-15 • 3-4:15pm Brown Memorial Park Avenue Presbyterian Church • 1316 Park Ave. BrownDownTown.org

THURSDAY, DEC. 5

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 11

A Monumental Occasion 42nd annual lighting of the Monument.

Musical performances, Holiday activities, festive food, and fireworks!

FREE • 5:30-8pm Washington Monument • Mt. Vernon PromotionAndArts.com

MICA Art Market Festive, holiday sale 11am-7pm • Thru Dec. 14 MICA's Brown Center 1301 W. Mount Royal Ave. MICA.edu

B’MORE AWARE OF HIV: The Living Red Ribbon Moveable Feast’s World AIDS Day event.

MFeast.org The Snowman The timeless story of a magical friendship. $6.50 • Show times vary • Thru 12/6 The Lyric • 140 W Mt Royal Ave. BSOMusic.org Everyone is Gay With Jenny Owen Youngs • FREE • 6pm Towson University West Village Commons • 800 York Road EveryoneIsGay.com Man in a Case opens Multi-media adaptation of Chekhov stories. $45-105 • Thru Dec. 22 Lansburgh Theatre 450 7th Street NW • Washington, DC ShakespeareTheatre.org Bill Kirchen’s Honky-Tonk Holiday The Titan of the Telecaster burns up carols. $15-20 • 7:30pm The Patterson • 3134 Eastern Ave. CreativeAlliance.rog

FRIDAY, DEC. 6 Unveiled One-woman show about Islam. $12-22 • Thru 12/8 Theater Project • 45 W. Preston St. TheaterProject.org Chopteeth Afro-Beat Holiday Dance Party!

Celebrate with drums and dancing. $10-15 • 8pm The Patterson •3134 Eastern Ave. CreativeAlliance.org

BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

BSO Holiday Cirque Holiday extravaganza with stunning aerial feats, strongmen and contortionists.

2pm & 7:30pm • Thru Dec. 15 Joseph Meyerhoff Symphony Hall 1212 Cathedral Street BSOmusic.org

FRIDAY, DEC. 13 The Amazing Johnny Eck Opening Night & Reception • FREE • 5-8pm MICA's Fox Building: Decker Gallery 1303 W. Mount Royal Ave. MICA.edu MythBusters Behind the Myths • $40-125 + fees • 8pm Hippodrome • 12 N Eutaw St. France-MerrickPAC.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 14 Charm City Craft Mafia Holiday Heap Over 50 vendors of Charm City’s finest handmade art and crafts • Free • 10am-5pm St. John’s Church • 2640 Saint Paul St. CharmCityCraftMafia.com 12 Days of Christmas It’s gonna be a hard-on candy Christmas!

Club Hippo • 1 W. Eager St. ClubHippo.com The Legwarmers The Ultimate ‘80s Tribute Band! $18.50 • 7pm • 21+ Rams Head Live • 20 Market Pl. RamsHeadLive.com John Mayer Feat. Phillip Phillips • $45-75 • 7pm Baltimore Arena • 201 W. Baltimore St. BaltimoreArena.com

Soulful Holidays Soulful Symphony performs holiday favorites • $24.75–150.50 + fees • 8pm Hippodrome • 12 N Eutaw St. France-MerrickPAC.com Sock Monkey Saturday Release your Holiday stress by making your very own sock monkeys • 10am-2pm American Visionary Art Museum 800 Key Hwy Avam.org

SUNDAY, DEC. 15 Lez Zeppelin All-female tribute band • $22.50 • 1pm Rams Head on Stage 33 West St. • Annapolis RamsHeadOnStage.com Paula Poundstone Shows at 6:30 & 9:30pm • $38.50 • 21+ Rams Head on Stage 33 West St. • Annapolis RamsHeadOnStage.com Candlelight Choral Concert Mt. Vernon musical tradition! FREE • 4pm First & Franklin Presbyterian Church 210 W. Madison St. FirstFranklin.org

MONDAY, DEC. 16 Giant Monster Monday Movies & drink specials • 8pm-Midnight The Wind Up Space • 12 W North Ave. TheWindUpSpace.com

FRIDAY, DEC. 20 Sparkle, Jingle, Joy Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, DC’s holiday show • $29-54 • 8pm • Thru Dec. 21 Lisner Auditorium 730 21st St. NW • Washington, D.C. GMCW.org The Nutcracker A holiday classic • $30-60 • Thru Dec. 22 The Lyric • 140 W Mt Royal Ave. BSOMusic.org

SATURDAY, DEC. 21 WYPR Presents An Evening with Cokie Roberts Q&A and Book signing • $35-40 • 8pm MICA’s Brown Center 1301 W. Mount Royal Ave. WYPR.org TNA Impact Wrestling Live!

Feat. some of your favorite wrestlers. $15-125 • 7pm.

Baltimore Arena • 201 W. Baltimore St. BaltimoreArena.com

SUNDAY, DEC. 22 Into the Woods closes Stephen Sondheim’s fairy tale • 2pm Spotlighters Theatre • 817 Saint Paul St. Spotlighters.org

TUESDAY, DEC. 24 Christmas Eve

TUESDAY, DEC. 17 An Evening with Michael Bolton Grammy Award-winning artist performs. $59.50–79.50 • 8pm Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts 33 West Street • Annapolis RamsHeadOnStage.com

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 25 Christmas

THURSDAY, DEC. 26 First Night of Kwanzaa

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 18 POZ DC Happy Hour Mixer For HIV+ men • 7pm Green Lantern 1335 Green Court NW • Washington, DC HopeDC.org

THURSDAY, DEC. 19 Trixie & Monkey’s 9th Annual Holiday Spectac-u-thon Hold onto your lederhosen! $20-25 • 8pm • Thru Dec. 21 The Patterson • 3134 Eastern Ave. CreativeAlliance.org Burlesque A Pades Holiday Tour Angie Pontani and the World Famous Pontani Sisters Holiday Burlesque Show.

21+ • $22.50 • 8pm Rams Head On Stage 33 West Street • Annapolis RamsHeadOnStage.com

FRIDAY, DEC. 27 Yo Gabba Gabba A very awesome holiday show. $27-44 • 2 & 5:30pm Baltimore Arena • 201 W. Baltimore St. BaltimoreArena.com Baltimore Bike Party The biggest party on two wheels!

FREE • 7pm St. Mary’s • Seton Hill BaltimoreBikeParty.com

TUESDAY, DEC. 31 Baltimore’s New Year’s Eve Spectacular Largest fireworks display in the region.

FREE • 9pm-Midnight Baltimore Inner Harbor BOP.org

Have a calendar listing? Send it to CALENDAR@BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

DECEMBER 2013

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SOCIAL LIFE

BSCENE

The GLCCB's Masqueerade PHOTOS BY JAY W

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DECEMBER 2013

GAY LIFE MAGAZINE

The GLCCB's Hometown Hero Awards & Champagne Brunch PHOTOS BY JAY W

Hometown Heroes Hit Homers

BY LOUISE PARKER KELLEY

On Nov. 17, about 100 people took time to celebrate their own at the Hometown Heroes Brunch in the ballroom at the Lord Baltimore Hotel. The community that gathered gave enthusiastic standing ovations to Representative Nancy Pelosi, Deacon Carlton Smith and P-FLAG organizer Catherine Hyde, as well as LGBT-affirming representatives from PNC Bank. It was a day that sparkled with wit, and inspiration, as well as some lovely champagne.

In her remarks, Congressional leader Pelosi shared her love and respect for the city where she was born and grew up, the city where her father was a progressive mayor and where she learned that everyone deserves to be treated like a human being. She praised the GLCCB for being in the vanguard of the struggle for full gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender rights by providing services and safe space for sexual minorities. There was hush when she BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

described what it was like at the height of the AIDS crisis, where there were an average of two funerals a day. The crowd cheered when she congratulated Maryland on achieving marriage equality, singling out open lesbian House Delegate Maggie McIntosh, Governor Martin O’Malley and Carrie Evans of Equality Maryland.

She encouraged people to organize to support the passage of ENDA, which needs only 18 Republican votes to pass the House. “We have to do what we did with the Violence Against Women Act,” she said, “and really push the issue, make ENDA too hot to handle!”

Carlton Smith beamed as he spoke of his personal journey, joyfully acknowledging God and all the people who had helped him in his work with Pride Day and as an AIDS activist. His words moved many to tears, and Pelosi quoted him several times in her speech

of acceptance. More eloquent than anything was the look on his face, as it was so clear that this was an honor he had not sought and could hardly believe was his, even though his leadership has inspired so many for years.

PFLAG Columbia’s Catherine Hyde spoke of how the love of family is a most powerful force as she too thanked other parents of transgendered children, individuals who had supported civil rights for the transgendered. The most touching moment was when she thanked her child, Will, and her husband; the deep respect and affection in her voice spread light throughout the room.

“We’re so pleased that Leader Pelosi returned to her hometown for this,” GLCCB President Mike McCarthy remarked.

“Sometimes it’s not clear how inspiring one person can be, but she was so on point and eloquent. Her work on behalf of the LGBT community has been exponential.”

Jill/Gilles Stromberg of the GLCCB Board stressed that “it was heartwarming to hear the vocalizing from so many about transgender issues -- to know that the ‘T’ is no longer an afterthought.”

GLCCB Executive Director Matt Thorn not only got to introduce each award winner and describe their many accomplishments, he also gave one of the best summaries of the history of the LGBT community in Baltimore that this reporter has ever heard.

“It’s a privilege to honor these four heroes [Carlton Smith, Catherine Hyde, Nancy Pelosi and PNC Bank],” said Thorn. “Actually, it’s long overdue. The first LGBT Community Center was established in Albany, New York based on the idea that our people deserved their full rights. We still have more work to do here in Baltimore, yet we can look forward to a future that reflects what we’ve accomplished in the past.”

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