Volume 33, Number 8 by Baltimore Gay Life

SERVING THE COMMUNITY SINCE 1979

MARYLAND’S LGBT COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER APRIL 29 - MAY 12, 2011 VOLUME XXXIII, NUMBER 8 WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

GAY PARENTING

IN A

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WORLD PLUS: n

Md. Film Festival Screens Gay Flicks Chi Chi Ray Colby Wins Miss Gay Md. Dupont Circle Explodes with Gay Pride

HOLLY HUGHES

AT THE GLCCB! APR 29-MAY 1

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Bal imore welcomes your family wi h pride. There are so many surprises for families in Baltimore, even the

most energetic kids have a hard time keeping up. You can take them

to the dolphin show and the new jellyfi sh exhibit at the National Aquarium. Then explore dinosaurs at the Maryland Science Center. If they’re not too tuckered out, they can meet the polar bears at the Maryland Zoo, climb a three-story tree house at Port Discovery Children’s Museum, get up close and personal with pop culture icons at Geppi’s Entertainment Museum or ride the rails at the B&O Railroad Museum. To learn more about all of the unexpected things to do, call 1-877-Bal imore or visit Bal imore.org/lgb .

Celebra e Bal imore Pride, June 18-19, 2011 • Learn more a Bal imore.org/lgb .

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VOLUME 33, NUMBER 8 PAGE 3

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ter

CONTENTS

letter editor’s

APRIL 29 - MAY 12, 2011 VOLUME 33, NUMBER 8

very now and then I’m reminded of how sheltered I really am. One reminder came when I saw the recent video footage of two teenage girls beating up a transgender woman at a local McDonald’s.

While I cannot begin to understand the everyday challenges transgender women face, I was once a teenage girl. I clearly remember being 18 and 14—the ages of her attackers. Yet I cannot fathom what was going through their minds, nor can I understand the anger and hatred that inspired their attack. Personally, I hesitate to accuse anyone—even these girls— of being inherently evil. Not only is that the easy way out, but it does all of us disservice. Only when we can understand the roots of our problems do we have a chance to eradicate them.

PAGE 9 FILM: Locals, gays, and John Waters at the Maryland Film Festival. By Rose D’Longcroi

I don’t yet know enough about this incident, but my first thoughts went to the attackers’ parents, probably because I saw the video footage while writing this month’s story on parenting. It is difficult not to wonder about the environment in which these girls were raised. I’m reminded of the 1989 movie “Parenthood,” in which the young Keanu Reeves delivers possibly the best line in his career:

Headline News PAGE 10 NATIONAL & INTERNATIONAL NEWS: By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley

“You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car—hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any [expletive deleted] be a [parent].” I don’t know what home life was like for these girls. I do know that devoted samesex couples who want to start a family in a stable and loving environment still face obstacles, while children are simultaneously being raised in homes that condone violence and bigotry. This is certainly one of the world’s ongoing injustices. Of course, blaming their parents is not the answer. My mom once thanked me for turning out all right, and I answered: “Well, you raised me right!” But she said no, that wasn’t it at all. While parenting does play a significant role in the outcome of some, she knew of parents who did absolutely everything right and ended up with less-than-ideal progeny. Ultimately, parents are not the only influence on their children, but all children deserve the chance to grow up free from prejudice. And kids have a much better shot overall when they are raised by parents who exhibit tolerance, patience, and love.

FEATURE STORY PAGE 12:

Gay Parenting in a Straight World: Adoptions, donors, and coming out to your kids. By Maggie Beetz

Out Front

Out Going

PAGE 5 COMMUNITY: Morgan Meneses-Sheets leaves EQMD

PAGE 17: SPOTLIGHT: DC celebrates Youth Pride Day

ON THE COVER *Bring your own pony

PAGE 7 THEATER: Notes on RENT, Doubt, sailors, and a flea. By Kelly D. McClain

Maggie Beetz, Editor

Photo Courtesy Lisa Guido

PAGE 8 FOOD: The new McCabe’s restaurant in Hampden. By John Cullen and Marty Shayt

241 W. Chase Street, Baltimore, MD 21201 Phone: 410.837.7748 • Fax: 410.837.8889 Email: sales@baltimoregaylife.com Gay Life is a publication of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore. Gay Life is published every other Friday in Baltimore, Maryland, with distribution throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Gay Life is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Gay Life or its publisher.

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STAFF

VISIT US ONLINE AT BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

PAGE 15 OP ED: This Time It’s Personal: A lesbian’s son speaks out. By Josh Kurtz TRANSMISSION: Five Thousand Years: A transgender person is discovered in a 5,000-yearold grave. By Gwendolyn Ann Smith

TRAILBLAZERS: LGBT law heroes win COBALT Awards. By Della Mosley

Lesbian performance artist Holly Hughes brings “The Dog and Pony Show”* to the GLCCB April 29-May 1. See Datebook entry p.17.

First Person

DATEBOOK: Calendar of Events

After Hours PAGE 18 HUNTER ON THE PROWL Chi Chi Ray Colby Wins Miss Gay Md. Plus: Benefits, Anniversaries, and More! By Mark Hunter

Maggie Beetz Editor editor@baltimoregaylife.com

National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media 212-242-6863

Michael Nguyen Art Director art@baltimoregaylife.com

Marty Shayt Volunteer

Scott FitzPatrick Advertising Sales sales@baltimoregaylife.com 410-837-7748

Kelly D. McClain Intern

Contributors John Cullen, Rose D’Longcroi, Ryan Davis, Mark Hunter, Bill Kelley, Josh Kurtz, Della Mosley, Mikey Rox, Marty Shayt, Gwendolyn Ann Smith, Terri Solomon, Rex Wockner Newspaper Committee: Trevor Ankeny, Kelly D. McClain, Doug Rose

BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

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COOL CRAFTS

outfront COMMUNITY

Equality Md. Executive Director, Director of Development Leave Organization According to MetroWeekly.com, Morgan Meneses-Sheets, executive director, and Matt Thorn, the director of development, both left Equality Maryland on April 22. Thorn reportedly resigned in protest after Meneses-Sheets was fired: In a statement, Thorn said: “[T] he Board of Directors of Equality Maryland, in executive session voted to remove her from her position, essentially telling the organization’s staff, volunteers, supporters, funders, and general community that the organization will now move in a different direction.” Meneses-Sheets made the following statement: “While it is not my choice to leave, it is my choice to make my voice heard as I exit. “I’ve spent the last eighteen months at the helm of EQMD and this time has held some of the most rewarding moments of my career, but it has also been extremely difficult. In particular

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the past few months have been tough to bear. Not because of the hard work which I welcome and felt honored to be part of, but because of the forces within the organization and external politics that created additional and unnecessary obstacles to our forward movement and success. “As I move on, I will not focus on the negative or destructive forces that created this untenable situation, instead I will look back at the many proud moments along the way… “As a Marylander, as a lesbian, as a parent, as someone with many loved ones who are transgender, and as someone who believes in social justice I sincerely hope that Equality Maryland will succeed in their future endeavors to ensure that our state lives up to the promise of equality for all of its citizens.” Read Meneses-Sheets’ full statement at MetroWeekly.com or Facebook. com/morgan.meneses-sheets. n

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TRAILBLAZERS

OutLaw’s COBALTs Recognize Baltimore-Area Trailblazers BY DELLA MOSLEY

And the winner is… the LGBTQ community at the fifth annual Celebrating Our Baltimore-Area Trailblazers (COBALT) Awards, hosted by University of Baltimore Law student organization, OutLaw, on April 20. “OutLaw hosts COBALT each year to reach out to allies and LGBTQ community members whose efforts toward positive impacts on the community are noticed and appreciated,” said OutLaw President K. Alice Young. Free State Legal Project, a probono and reduced fee legal service for low-income LGBTQ individuals, received the Community Action Award. The organization recently hired their first full-time executive director, Lee Ann Hopkins, Esq. who accepted the award. “The timing of the award is particularly satisfying. Free State officially opens its doors May 23. At this time we will begin accepting cases,” said Hopkins. WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

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The Outstanding UB Community Contribution Award went to the Students Supporting the Women’s Law Center (SSWLC) for their efforts as an ally to the LGBTQ community for the 2010-2011 academic year. Shannon Dawkins, president of the SSWLC received this award on their behalf. “The SSWLC is grateful to have the guidance of the Women’s Law Center of Maryland and a progressive smart student membership,” said Dawkins.

[

John Alexander Nicholson, III received the Mark F. Scurti Award for Outstanding Contributions to the LGBT Community for his advocacy and activism against Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He is the founder and executive director of Servicemembers United. “Baltimore is full of leaders for equality deserving of awards like these, and we are happy to be able to recognize some of them,” said Young. OutLaw is an organization that works to foster acceptance and promote education and awareness on legal issues facing LGBT law students and their allies. n

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The cast of “Rent, The Musical” perform at TU

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BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

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outfront The cast of “RENT: The Musical” perform at TU

Theater Notes BY KELLY D. MCCLAIN

Jonathan Larson’s “RENT: The Musical” tells the story of a group of impoverished young artists and musicians struggling to survive in the thriving days of Bohemian Alphabet City under the shadow of HIV/ AIDS. The rock opera is showing The cast of “Rent, now through May 6 at Towson The Musical” University’s Center for the Arts perform at TU Mainstage Theatre.

WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

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The April 29 and May 6 performances will include HIV rapid-result testing via a mobile testing unit prior to and following the performance. Community nonprofits will also provide information on health, homelessness, gender equality, and HIV/AIDS. TU staff will also collect donations, non-perishable food items, and grocery store gift certificates benefiting the Assistance Center of Towson Churches, an organization that provides community members emergency support.

Al Letson is performing in his fulllength play, “Crumbs: A possibly true story” at the Theatre Project May 5-7 and 12-15. In this funny and truthful work about deception, loyalty and identity in a bread factory, “Al learns he has to be true to himself above all else.”

Photo courtesy Al Letson

Photo by Matt Gahs

THEATER

The Strand Theater Company is presenting the Baltimore premiere of “One Flea Spare,” a play by Naomi Wallace and directed by Jayme Kilburn in which social boundaries melt into chaos. This hilarious and deeply moving play is set in 17th century England: While the wealthy William Snelgrave dreams of “how sailors satisfy their based instincts so far away from female company, his wife, Darcey… discovers that her dreadfully scarred body may not be numb after all.” Enjoy this claustrophobic tale of class, power, and sex now through May 7.

The Fells Point Corner Theatre presents “The Seafarer,” written by Conor McPherson and directed by Barry Feinstein, May 6–June 5. “Old drinking buddies gather in a Dublin home for their traditional, whiskyladen card game, when a sly stranger joins the mix…As the booze flows and the banter intensifies, the game escalates to damningly high stakes.” From May 13 to June 12 the Spotlighters Theatre presents “Doubt: A Parable,” a Pulitzer Prizewinner play by John Patrick Shanley and directed by Randy Dalmas that tells “a gripping story of suspicion cast on a priest’s behavior that is less about scandal than about fascinatingly nuanced questions of moral certainty.” n

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outfront

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DINING OUT

Gay Life Reviewers Split on the New McCabe’s

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McCabe’s re-opened under new ownership in mid-2010 after sitting closed for over a year. Inside, there are a dozen wobbly wooden tables crowded tightly into a narrow room framed by a long exposed brick wall, the bar and a small window facing Falls Road. Our friend Marta was a fan of the “old” McCabe’s and assured us that it looks the same. On the limited menu, Marta smiled finding her favorite onion soup ($5) and cheeseburger with fries ($11) but at “new” McCabes, the burgers originate from local, all-natural Springfield Farms; additional bacon, mushrooms, and fried egg options can push up the price. There are a few appetizers ($8-13) plus chicken breast, pulled pork, fried cod, or veggie eggplant sandwiches ($10-11) and a half dozen entrees including a veggie polenta lasagna ($16-25) as well as steak or tuna entrée salads ($14). Marty and Marta both started with onion soup; the small bowls arrived with a (not overly abundant) layer of melted cheese over toasted baguette atop of a meaty but un-salty broth, which won a thumbs-up from both. John started with a cup of the Guinness beef stew special ($4); it was tasty with chunks of beef, but the Guinness wasn’t obvious. For the main course, Marta had her traditional cheeseburger with fries, while Marty requested a single crab cake with grilled asparagus and

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fries ($18). Marty really liked his lighton-filler crab cake and fries (but the asparagus was just “ok”). Marta was really pleased with her meal (but that devil Marty snatched half of her fries!) John decided on a steak salad: a half dozen chunks of steak surrounding a large bed of baby spinach with a light balsamic dressing was really good (but the salad was unfortunately light on the menu-promised pine nuts, blue cheese, and pickled onions.) Although our young waitress was friendly and engaging, our entrees took more than 25 minutes to arrive on a not-so-busy week night. But her praise of an apple cobbler with a scoop of Breyer’s ice cream ($6) lured us into sharing the dessert. The four-inch wide cobbler was warm with the ice cream on the side and big enough for each of us to enjoy a couple of spoonfuls. While Marta and Marty praised it, John thought that the apple filling was bland and the pastry was a little stale. Marty liked the new McCabe’s, but John wasn’t all that impressed. He questioned why McCabe’s well-heeled regulars seemingly trek out of their way to this small bar when there are new, equal, or better alternatives in the heart of Hampden. While Marty and Marta may return, John prefers the atmosphere (and burgers) at Hampden’s Golden West, Rocket to Venus, or Dizz Grandview. n DETAILS: McCabes, 3845 Falls Rd in Hampden; 410-467-1000. Open Tues-Sun, lunch 11am– 3pm, dinner 5–10pm; Full bar, vegetarian options, off-street parking in the adjacent Meinke Muffler after 6pm. Facebook.com/McCabesHampden

BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

4/27/11 7:35 PM

Photos courtesy MD Film

FILM Still from David Weissman’s “We Are Here”

Md. Film Fest Offers Gay Flicks and Local Talent

Still from Andrew Haigh’s “Weekend”

BY ROSE D’LONGCROI

Nestled in the heart of Station North, Baltimore’s premier artist district, Maryland Film Festival will take over The Charles, The Windup Space, and the Maryland Institute College of Art’s Brown Center May 8 to 11. Film fans are invited to kick off the festival with an explosive selection of shorts that will be introduced by their directors at the Brown Center on May 5. Alexandra Gilwit, the MD Film Fest staff in charge of PR, took time from the organized chaos leading up to this action-packed weekend to speak to Gay Life. “I’m really excited about the 2011 festival!” said Gilwit. “This year we officially will be having the most locally-based filmmakers and cinematographers than any year before.” Four Baltimore natives will be presenting their films: “Small Pond” by Josh Slates, “Freaks in Love” by Skizz Cyzyk, “Cafeteria Man” by Richard Chisolm, and “The Learning” by Ramona Diaz. Also of interest is Alison Bagnall’s “The Dish and the Spoon” set in Rehoboth Beach, Del. In this buffet of films and shorts, the UK has garnered a spot with Andrew Haigh’s “Weekend,” a two-hour movie that follows two men as they develop something more out of their one night stand. This intense drama will be screened at The Charles on May 7. Another noteworthy film is “We Are Here,” directed by David Weissman. WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

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This poignant documentary rewinds back to the beginning of the AIDS epidemic in San Francisco, the Gay Mecca, and the stories that were buried under the stigma and fear caused by this terrible disease. MICA’s Brown Center has the first screening on May 6 with an encore viewing on the May 7 at The Charles. “The film that I’m really excited about is ‘Septien,’” said Gilwit who also said there is a lot of buzz about the Africa film, “Viva Riva!” John Waters’ annual choice this year goes to the French drama “Domaine,” directed by Patric Chiha. Waters will present this film at the Charles on May 6, 7:30 p.m. Film submissions are accepted each year giving preference to nonpublished or previously marketed pieces. While Baltimore is their home base, all submissions are graded on an equal scale to offer a well-rounded selection for Maryland viewers. Programmers Eric Hatch and Scott Braid take ownership in the selecting of this year’s offerings. n DETAILS: Maryland Film Festival. May 8-11. The Charles Theater (1711 N. Charles St), The Windup Space (12 W. North Ave), & MICA’s Brown Center (1300 Mt. Royal Ave). $10-40 or $200 access pass. MD--FilmFest.com/film-schedule-2011.

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headlinenews INTERNATIONAL

Indian Supreme Court Considers Ruling that Legalized Gay Sex India’s Supreme Court was scheduled on April 19 to begin hearing 15 separate appeals of the Delhi High Court ruling that struck down the nation’s ban on gay sex in July 2009. In striking down the ban nationally, the High Court “read down” Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code so that it no longer applies to the activities of consenting adults. The section bans “carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal” under penalty of 10 years to life in prison. The court said 377 violated a constitutional guarantee of equality under the law, a constitutional ban on discrimination based on sex, and constitutional promises of personal liberty and protection of life. Given India’s population of 1.2 billion people, the High Court’s decision had the effect of decriminalizing 17 percent of all LGB people on the planet.

A E C

NATIONAL Maryland Trans Rights Bill Dies A transgender nondiscrimination bill that had passed the Maryland House of Delegates died in the Senate on April 11. Senators voted 27-20 to return it to committee. The development took state LGBT activists by surprise, as they believed they had lined up the needed votes for passage. In the end, 16 Democrats voted with the majority.

“Senators ... took a walk on justice and fairness today and turned their backs on the most vulnerable members of our community,” said Equality Maryland Executive Director Morgan Meneses-Sheets. National Gay & Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Rea Carey added, “Without legal protections, transgender people are made particularly vulnerable to ... neglect, bias and abuse.”

Delaware Legislature Passes Civil-Union Bill, Governor to Sign Delaware’s Senate and House of Representatives passed a civil-union bill April 7 and April 14 respectively. The Senate vote was 13-6. The House vote was 25-16. The measure grants same-sex couples the state-level rights, benefits and obligations of marriage, and recognizes same-sex civil unions and marriages from other states, treating them as Delaware civil unions.

Gay Bills Introduced in Congress Two recurring LGBT-rights measures were introduced in the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives in April – the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and the Uniting American Families Act. ENDA would ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in workplaces that have 15 or more employees. UAFA would give U.S. citizens and permanent residents the right to sponsor a same-sex permanent partner for U.S. residence – a right that is available to opposite-sex binational spouses.

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Prop 8 Judge Comes Out to Reporters The judge who struck down California’s Proposition 8 last August came out to reporters April 6 in San Francisco. Former U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker also said he’s in a relationship with a doctor. Walker said his sexuality was irrelevant to his handling of the Prop 8 case, and that things such as gender, ethnicity, and national origin also should not affect which cases judges hear. Walker’s strikedown of Prop 8, which amended the state constitution in 2008 to re-ban same-sex marriage, is on appeal to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

Hawaii Protects Transgenders A bill banning employment discrimination based on gender identity cleared Hawaii’s Legislature April 19. Transgender people already were protected in the areas of housing and public accommodations. Gov. Neil Abercrombie is expected to sign the bill. Twelve other states and the District of Columbia protect transgender people from discrimination.

Ariz. Governor Signs Anti-Gay-Adoption Bill Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed a bill April 18 that requires public and private adoption agencies to give primary consideration to placement with a married man and woman unless other factors make it not in a child’s best interest. The Human Rights Campaign denounced the new law, calling it a “major defeat” for children and youth.

Photo by Richard Koek

The president of the executive board of the University of Amsterdam, Karel van der Toorn (right), presented transgender activist and alumnus Justus Eisfeld with a new diploma reflecting his correct gender April 6 in New York City.

Dutch University Gives Transgender Man New Diploma The president of the executive board of the University of Amsterdam, Karel van der Toorn, presented transgender activist and alumnus Justus Eisfeld with a new diploma reflecting his correct gender April 6 in New York City. Van der Toorn was in New York, where Eisfeld works for Global Action for Trans Equality, on a business trip. Eisfeld underwent gender transition after graduation from the university. Approval to issue the revised diploma came in November via a ruling from the Dutch Equal Treatment Commission. The decision also applies to other Dutch transgender people.

Moscow Pride: 6th Time’s a Charm? Gay activists will try again next month to stage a gay pride march in Moscow. This time, they are armed with a final ruling from the European Court of Human Rights that previous years’ bans by the ex-mayor and the city were illegal. On April 12, Moscow Pride applied to the police department and mayor’s office for permission to hold this year’s march. The group asked to hold a “mass cultural and educational event” this time rather than a “political rally” -- which had been banned each of the past five years. Previous years’ unsanctioned events were attacked by anti-gay hooligans, picketed by religious protesters and broken up by riot police.

Gay Groups Denounce Draft Hungarian Constitution Hungary’s Parliament was scheduled to vote April 18 on a new national constitution that LGBT groups say is problematic. ILGAEurope – the European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association – said the draft defines marriage as between a man and a woman, and omits sexual orientation from an anti-discrimination provision’s list of banned grounds of discrimination. The co-chair of ILGA-Europe’s board, Martin K.I. Christensen, said “the proposed draft signals a worrying sign of Hungary’s departure from the EU principles of equality and nondiscrimination for all, and from European legal traditions.”

Euro Parliament Scolds Macedonia In adopting its annual report on Macedonia’s progress toward joining the European Union, the European Parliament on April 7 told the nation to legally ban discrimination based on sexual orientation. Such a ban is a requirement of EU membership. Intergroup Co-President Michael Cashman said: “There is literally no way around this. Entering the European Union will require amending the anti-discrimination law.”

NATIONAL & INTERNATIONAL NEWS PROVIDED BY REX WOCKNER WITH BILL KELLEY

Find complete news stories at BaltimoreGayLife.com/news.

BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

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VOLUME 33, NUMBER 8 PAGE 11

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Michael Myers (seated) and sons, Michael and Matthew, and husband, Mark Scurti

CREATING A FAMILY

The Joys and Trials of Gay Parenting in a Straight World BY MAGGIE BEETZ

ay parents tend to fall into two categories— those who became parents before coming out and those who came out before becoming parents. Support for gay and lesbian parents in either category can come from different places—groups, books, online communities, legal assistance, and peers. Outside of these support systems, many gay parents must navigate through a world in which their family is still a minority.

COMING OUT TO CHILDREN Mike Robertson of Mt. Vernon, 60, came out to his wife and four sons when he was 51 years old. “My biggest fear was losing the close relationship I had with my children,” said Robertson. “My children were no longer very young, so I came right to the point and told them I was gay, always was gay, but kept it so deeply buried since society expected me to marry a woman and have a family.” Robertson met individually with every family member, even his in-laws. He believed they all deserved the personal attention. The result? “It went way better than I ever imagined it would,” he said. “My largest fear never happened.” His entire family embraced his sexuality, and his wife was extremely instrumental in making his transition PAGE 12 • APRIL 29 - MAY 12, 2011

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When it comes to starting a family, gay and lesbian couples have choices. Scurti, a Maryland attorney, outlined four basic avenues for gay and lesbian Marylanders: private adoption, foster care adoption, artificial insemination (for lesbians) and surrogacy (for gay couples). While private adoption agencies can be expensive, time-consuming, and not always LGBT-friendly, Baltimore City and Baltimore County have streamlined the adoption process for same-sex couples through foster care. “The foster care system has opened up for samesex couples to adopt,” said Scurti who specializes in second parent adoption, domestic partnership agreements, same sex dissolution of partnerships, and other related services. While adoptions have become routine for gay parents in Maryland, the process is complicated, and even prohibited, in many other states. (l-r) Tom Barnes with sons, Tucker and Austin, and partner, Glenn

as easy as possible. He joined, and eventually led, the Gay Father’s Coalition, a support group that met monthly at the GLCCB. “I was always told how easy I had it,” said Robertson who recalled one father in particular who had a far worse experience. “His wife did everything she could to influence his children in a very negative way. She even made up lies about him in an effort to separate him from his children.” Hampden resident Michael Myers, 44, came out to his sons when they were just eight and 11 years old. About a year after his divorce, Myers began living with his current husband, Mark Scurti. One day his youngest son, Matthew, asked if he was gay. “I said ‘yes,’ and he said ‘okay,’” said Myers. After that, Myers said the most difficult part was choosing their friends. Some friends were invited to come over; others were not. Sometimes Myers would hear: “No, Dad. He can’t handle the gay thing.” “They were very honest, and I never pushed,” said Myers. “I didn’t want them to be uncomfortable; I was more concerned with that than them hurting my feelings.”

OUT-OF-STATE ADOPTION When Havre de Grace resident Tom Barnes tried to adopt his cousin’s son in 2003, he faced an uphill battle. Seven-year-old Austin had been removed from his mother’s care after a history of abuse and was living with a foster family in Shawnee, Okla. Barnes already had a son, Tucker, but when he learned of Austin’s situation, Barnes knew he wanted to adopt the boy. “At that time, none of my family in Oklahoma knew that I was gay,” said Barnes who was raised there and in Maryland. When he came out to Austin’s social worker, she had to inform her supervisors. “My understanding is that some in the Shawnee Social Security office were opposed to the placement because I was gay.” BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

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en! Registration Now Op (l-r) Lauren Debelius and Rene Watkins with their daughter, Lillian

The social worker, who remained supportive, convinced Barnes to visit Oklahoma and plead his case. Not only was he found to be a suitable adoptive parent, he was able to visit Austin during his stay. But once the biological mother and grandmother learned Barnes was gay, they made many attempts to derail the adoption process. In the meantime, Barnes and Austin spoke by telephone every week. “In his phone calls to me, he went from calling me ‘Uncle Tom’ to ‘Dad,’” said Barnes. Austin also began exchanging letters with Tucker. Both boys were very excited to have a brother. Despite ongoing challenges to the adoption process, Austin was brought to Maryland in July 2003. Barnes was finally able to adopt him in September 2004. The Maryland judge who completed the adoption ensured that Barnes’ spouse, Glenn Gorleski, was included in the court hearing. But due to same-sex adoption restrictions in Oklahoma, there is still uncertainty

as to whether Glenn is considered Austin’s legal parent.

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LESBIAN PREGNANCY Because adoption agencies in Maryland are gender neutral, the process is comparable for gay and lesbian couples. But gay men who choose to conceive a child with a surrogate face more challenges than their female counterparts. For lesbian couples, pursuing insemination by a sperm donor can often achieve faster results. Rene Watkins always knew she wanted kids. When her partner, Lauren Debelius, was ready, she wasted no time making an appointment with a fertility specialist. “We knew couples who had been trying to get pregnant for a while,” said Watkins. “We didn’t know what our fertility chances were going to be, so for us, it made more sense to go to a fertility specialist where they track your cycle and track your hormones.”

Political change takes time. But, for now, here is some change you can put in your pocket.

Continued on page 14

Books for Children with LGBTQ Parents Acceptance of gay parenting in literature has come a long way since Leslea Newman’s 1989 groundbreaking book, “Heather Has Two Mommies” (then denounced for its “militant homosexual agenda”). FOR AGES INFANT-PRESCHOOL “Daddy, Papa, and Me” By Leslea Newman, Tricycle Press ISBN-13: 978-1582462622 Board book, $7.99, 20p “Mommy, Mama, and Me” By Leslea Newman Tricycle Press ISBN-13: 978-1582462639 Board book, $7.99, 20 p Newman’s simple texts and Carol Thompson’s accompanying illustrations depict a toddler, one with two daddies, and one with two mommies, spending a loving day together as a family. FOR AGES 4-8 “And Tango Makes Three” By Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell Simon & Schuster Children’s WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

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ISBN-13: 978-0689878459 Hardcover, $16.99, 32p Two male penguins at the Central Park Zoo get a chance to have a daughter of their own in this touching true tale. FOR YOUNG ADULTS “Let’s Get This Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ Parents” By Tina Fakhrid-Deen with Colage Seal Press ISBN-13: 978-1580053334 Paperback, $15.95, 208p In this non-fiction text, kids with LGBTQ parents tell their stories and dish out advice for other children and young adults in similar families.

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VOLUME 33, NUMBER 8 PAGE 13

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PARENTING Continued from page 13

Watkins got pregnant on the first try. “We went in for the first appointment in September, and we inseminated on Christmas Eve,” said Debelius. Their daughter, Lillian, is now seven months old. But before her birth, Watkins and Debelius knew they needed legal protection for their growing family. They met with a lawyer who helped them with all of the necessary paperwork. They gave their healthcare directive and other documents to their midwife. “It’s spelled out very clearly in our medical records that Lauren was my partner and that she was to be there no matter what,” said Watkins. “And after the birth, if Lillian had to go to the NICU or something, Lauren was to go with her.” Their lawyer also began the second parent adoption process so they could submit the paperwork as soon as the baby was born.

would be gay, but so far I’m the only homosexual, along with my sister.” Myers agreed that gay parenting is somewhat similar to straight parenting. “But there are more nuances,” he said. “It is a little more challenging.” He recalled two incidents in particular. When Myers and Scurti planned a family trip to Europe, the mother not only had to sign papers allowing the couple to take the kids out of the country, she also had to agree to let Scurti make decisions about the welfare of the children if something happened to their biological father. Although the children considered their father’s partner to be like a step-father, the law did not. “I was a legal stranger to Michael’s children,” said Scurti. Another incident came when his oldest son,

This is something Debelius understands all too well. “From when she was born on September 22 to December 10, when Lauren adopted her, they were legal strangers,” said Watkins, “and so if something happened to me in that time Lauren had no rights over her.” Thankfully, legally married lesbians are now protected. On February 10, 2011, the MD Department of Health and Mental Hygiene issued a statement indicating that if a new mother is married, information pertaining to her spouse is to be entered, regardless of her spouses’ gender. This change is based on Attorney General Doug Gansler’s opinion last year that Maryland should recognize out-of-state same sex marriages.

College Planning for All Families

In terms of custody, however, the relationship between partners does not matter as much as each partner’s legal relationship with the child. “It always comes down to the legal relationship between parent and child,” said Scurti. “Legal parent” is federally recognized, and same-sex marriages are not. Simply put, a same-sex spouse is not automatically considered a legal parent or guardian.

Section 529 plan: an education savings plan designed to help families save funds for future college costs. There are no income or age eligibility restrictions, and most plans have a contribution limit in excess of $250,000 per designated beneficiary. Earnings will grow federal income tax-free as long as withdrawals are used for qualified higher-education expenses.

Scurti recalled a current case here in Maryland, in which the rights of a known sperm donor were never terminated and the couple is now in danger of losing their child to him.

Coverdell Education Savings Account: a maximum contribution of $2,000 a year per beneficiary through 2012 ($500 a year per beneficiary after 2012, unless the law in extended), and are not deductible. But deposits in the account grow federally tax-free if used for approved education expenses.

RAISING CHILDREN “I don’t think that gay parenting is really much different than straight parenting,” said Robertson whose four sons ranged in age from 13 to 25 when he came out. “In the beginning there were questions like, ‘Are you sure you’re gay?’” His sons also reflected on their own sexualities. “I tried to assure them that they would know if they were [gay] and it was perfectly fine if they were,” he said. “You would think with four boys that maybe one PAGE 14 • APRIL 29 - MAY 12, 2011

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“But Mark, unlike his mother’s husband, was not considered a family member and therefore wasn’t allowed,” explained Myers. “This was a minor situation, but it kind of hit home for them because it defined our relationship as different.”

ADVICE TO PROSPECTIVE PARENTS “The planning process is the most critical and most over-looked,” said Scurti. As an attorney, he sees what happens when people fail to plan. “When they come to me it’s either when the parties are splitting or when a third party, often a known donor, comes into the picture.” He recommends getting legal advice ahead of time and not waiting for issues to arise because the laws are complicated and often changing.

“The problem with second parent adoption,” said Scurti, “is that there’s a hold-your-breath-and-waitperiod for the non-biological parent.”

“Couples need to plan more than ever to protect themselves from third parties who could claim rights and take the children,” he said. “There are so many different ways people can create families and the introduction of a third party can exponentially complicate the situation.”

Michael, had his learning permit and needed to log driving time. Because his father was traveling and he was unable to use his mother’s car, he asked to drive with Scurti.

BY JANET REDMAN

There are several ways to save for a child’s college education. Here are three options available to all families:

Gift to Minors Trust or 2503(c): directs the trustee to use the trust income and property for the child’s benefit— such as paying for his or her education—until the child reaches 21. Then the child must be given the right to all the trust income and property. Contributions to a trust qualify for an annual “gift exclusion” of $13,000 per recipient per year. Before deciding, families should consider their goals and overall investment strategy with the help from a financial planner. Janet K. Redman, Financial Advisor, Merrill Lynch Global Wealth Management. janet_redman@ml.com

“There are always concerns with same sex-couples compared to straight couples,” said Scurti. “There is more potential for nuance which may not otherwise exist.” For example, because Scurti and Myers married in Massachusetts last summer, Scurti is considered a legal step-parent to Myers’ sons. But outside of Maryland there are still legal barriers. Federal tax returns are another example. Married same-sex couples cannot file federal taxes jointly, and even if both are federally-recognized legal parents to their children, only one parent can claim them as dependents on their federal taxes. Myers said there are days he’d be tempted to tell prospective parents to buy a Jag and drive to P-Town. But then he remembers he’s more proud of his kids than anything else in his life. “It will be the happiest and saddest you’ll ever be,” said Myers. “Children are an emotional rollercoaster; everyday is a challenge.” To parents considering coming out to their children, Myers recommends giving kids just enough information so they can process it; then be ready to answer their questions honestly. “You’ll be surprised about what they don’t ask,” he said. Sex for example—children are not generally interested in the mechanics of their parents’ sex life. Barnes agrees. “They get that it’s about love and not 100 percent about sex,” said Barnes, “that sex is a small percentage of any relationship when you put it in the context of day-to-day living as a family.” “I swear love conquers all,” said Robertson. “Love your children and be a part of their lives. Get involved and be there for them whether they’re happy or sad.” As new to parenting as they are, Watkins and Debelius are already thrilled to be there for Lillian. “We fight over who gets to carry her sometimes,” said Debelius, laughing. “Because I didn’t carry her for nine months, and I want to carry her now.” “I firmly believe that when we are active parents, we do the very best we can with the tools we have to work with,” said Barnes. “I think my kids are awesome and terrific and wouldn’t trade this experience, this family, this love for the world.” n BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

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firstperson TRANSMISSIONS

Five Thousand Years BY GWENDOLYN ANN SMITH

n a suburb of what is now Prague, some five thousand years before today, a

painting is way more fun in neon.”

body was buried. Funeral rites were a very big deal at the time, with a great

Certainly, J. Crew knew the image and quote would spark outrage, and many of the usual suspects took the bait, with Erin Brown of the conservative Media Research Center accusing J. Crew of exploiting young Beckett as part of “liberal, transgendered identity politics.” All over painted toenails.

deal of symbolism attached to exactly how a body was buried, and what

items would be interred with them. If one was male, the body was buried lying on their right side, with the head facing west. You’d also be buried with various tools and weapons, as well as a few portions of food to tide you over as you headed to whatever passed for the afterlife then. Females had their own specifics, being placed on their left side, and facing east. They would be buried with necklaces of bone and earrings of copper, with pets and jugs they may have used in domestic tasks. An egg-shaped pot would also be placed somewhere near the body’s feet. But this particular burial was different. The body— determined to be male by archeologist Katerina Semrádová—were buried facing east, and on its left side. No weapons were found with the body, but the various household pots—including the egg-shaped jug associated with the burial of females—were present. The news media jumped on this story, labeling this the body of a “gay caveman.” Some of the better news sources went a step further declaring this to be a transgender person. Some called it the oldest of its kind, though Semrádová hastened to add that there were earlier examples of male Siberian shamans buried in a similar fashion, and one Mesolithic period female warrior buried in fashion befitting males of the time. Ultimately, we can only suppose why this male body

was buried in a fashion befitting females of the time. I know what I would hope for, and it is what Semrádová speculates, “we believe this is one of the earliest cases of what could be described as a transvestite or thirdgender grave in the Czech Republic.” So five millennia ago, a gender variant person lived along the trade routes around the future city of Prague. The society—which clearly did divide gender and gender roles in fashions that still resonate today— nevertheless was able to respect this person’s identity and expression even after their death. That was then. Not long after this story had begun to fade in the ever-churning media cycle, a manufactured outrage brewed over an advertisement for the J. Crew apparel line. In the current catalog from the company, J. Crew president and creative director Jenna Lyons is pictured with her five year old son, Beckett. In the image, Beckett spots freshly painted toenails, in a bright pink. A quote next to the picture reads, “Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail

OP ED

This Time It’s Personal BY JOSH KURTZ

Originally published by Center Maryland (CenterMaryland.Org) The following is the text, verbatim, of the paid death notice for my mom that appeared in the March 31 New York Times: KURTZ–Lynn. Died at home March 30. A musician and educator, she is survived by her spouse Elli Ross, daughter Eliza Kurtz, son Josh Kurtz, daughterin-law Caryl Ashrey and granddaughters Haley Beidel, Zoe Kurtz and Genevieve Kurtz.

I never told a lot of people that my mom was gay. It’s not that it was a big secret—it was just never a big deal. She was my mom, and I loved her. My mom never really “came out.” That wasn’t her style. She just went about her business and lived her life the way she wanted to. But Mom and Elli’s love story is an inspiring tale worthy of a novel. They

Others join these stories, such as failure of HB 235 in Maryland. HB 235 was a transgender rights bill that had public accommodations rights stripped away, then attempted to strip away employment protections and limit other language before the bill was sent back to committee—killing it for this legislative session. Meanwhile in Maine, LD 1046 seeks to strip away already existing transgender protections. At the same time as the news was reporting on cavemen and pink toenails, as politicians played games with the rights of people such as myself, a 20-year-old transgender woman was verbally harassed and beaten by two men in San Francisco, at the 16th and Mission BART station. According to eyewitness Alexandra Byerly, one of the attackers said, “Oh, I hate men dressed up as women”—or words to that effect. The victim, whose name has been withheld, is recovering from the attack. This is now. Five thousand years ago, in a time when humanity still writing on clay tablets and Stonehenge was yet to be erected, early humans had the ability to accept a male-bodied person as a female on one level or another. Accepted enough to have been buried in a fashion similar to other females, and with the trappings of a woman in that society. More modern history is rife with stories of people who crossed gender and were —on one level or another—accepted. In the history of the world we have Continued on page 18

first became lovers in graduate school in the late 1950s. Luckily for my sister and me, and for Elli’s kids, mom and Elli were products of their era who felt intense pressure to marry men and have families.

my mom at age 70 was embarking on a new romantic adventure, made it seem like a fairy tale. On their wedding day last October, Elli recalled how my mom had said to her, 50-odd years earlier, “If you were a man, I’d marry you.”

They never stopped loving each other. Through marriage and divorce, through long-term relationships with other women, they stayed in touch – sometimes regularly and intimately, other times less so.

To me, the case for gay marriage always seemed like a no-brainer. Why shouldn’t two people who love each other be able to make a lifetime commitment that’s recognized by the state? Why shouldn’t they enjoy the same rights of community property, and have the same ability to make endof-life decisions, that straight couples possess? Why should they be considered less than equal in the eyes of the law?

They finally found their way back to each other permanently in 2007. That they could rekindle a romance that first blossomed half a century earlier, that

Continued on page 18

WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM

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VOLUME 33, NUMBER 8 PAGE 15

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the CENTER Page Welcome

Here is our schedule of free or low-cost support groups, meetings, and services. Unless otherwise noted, all events are held at the Center: 241 W. Chase Street, Baltimore. Please call (410) 837-5445 for more information or visit www.glccb.org. PROGRAMS FOR EVERYONE

TRANSGENDER PROGRAMS

ACHIEVE, CULTIVATE, & EDUCATE (ACE) SERIES ACE classes provide learning opportunities for the LGBT community in a safe and affirming environment to enhance and enrich community members’ lives! Interested in teaching? Contact us at info@glccb.org or (410) 837-5445

GENDER IDENTITY GROUP (GIG) A support group for transgender, gender queer, or anyone who varies from traditional gender expression. Meets the 2nd Saturday, 8:00 p.m. room 201 Email GIG@glccb.org or visit www.transmaryland.org

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Every Monday, 8:30 p.m. Every Thursday, 8:30 p.m. Every Saturday, 6:30 p.m. Room 201. Visit www.baltimoreaa.org for information, resources, and other meeting locations and times.

GIG: Baltimore Trans-Masculine Alliance (BTMA) GIG’s FTM support group meets the 4th Saturday, 6 p.m. room 202 Email BTMA@glccb.org or visit www.transmaryland.org

AA - POSITIVELY SOBER Alcoholics Anonymous open meeting centered on living a sober and healthy lifestyle. Focus is on HIV+ and health related issues affecting sobriety. Meets every Sunday, 6:00 p.m. Room 201 Contact Dave at BmoreDave@gmail.com BEGINNERS’ YOGA SUNDAY afternoons, 3:30 p.m in room 201. Gentle beginners’ yoga with instructor Tim Hurley, RYT. $9.00 per person. Walk-ins WELCOME! HIV & SYPHILIS TESTING with the Baltimore City Health Department Wednesdays 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. 3rd Floor SCA - Sexual Compulsives Anonymous Every Tuesday, 7:00 p.m. Room 202 NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Sunday Men’s Rap - Meets every Sunday at 11:30 a.m. in room 201. Visit www. na.org for information, resources and other meeting locations and times. PRIDE IN THE ARTS The GLCCB presents art receptions and movie screenings that showcase local LGBTQ talent. Check out the GLCCB’s calendar at www.glccb.org for upcoming Pride in the Arts events. Artists interested in submitting work for exhibit or screening contact us at info@glccb.org.

MEN’S PROGRAMS MEN LIKE ME Open support group for adult males who love other men. Come discuss issues of coming out, homophobia, relationships, etc. in a safe and supportive space. The objective is to empower participants to take better care of themselves and each other. Facilitated by a licensed clinician. Meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of every month, 6:00 p.m. room 201 Email Shane at MenLikeMe@glccb.org POZ MEN Peer support group for all HIV+ men. Meets EVERY WEDNESDAY, 7:00 p.m. room 202 Email POZMen@glccb.org

GIG: Tran*quility GIG’s MTF support group meets the 4th Saturday, 8:00 p.m. room 201 Email tranquility@glccb.org or visit www.transmaryland.org GIG: Partners of Trans People Group (PTP) A support and resource group for anyone in a relationship with a transgender person. Meets every 4th Saturday, 8 p.m. room 202 Email ptp@glccb.org

WOMEN’S PROGRAMS PEARLS OF WISDOM (POW) A coming out/peer support group for ALL womyn of the LBTQ community, engage in open and Anonymous/Confidential dissusions on relationships, families, self-identity, coming out, peers, deceit, and more! While visiting POW, you will experience mixed emotions of womyn from a variety of age groups and backgrounds from feminine to transgender. Meets the 1st and 3rd Saturday, 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. room 202 For more information, contact “Q” at POW.Lesbian@yahoo.com WOMEN OF COLOR A collective group committed to providing a safe, confidential, and supportive space for lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning women of all colors. Meets the 2nd, 4th & 5th Thursday, 7:30 p.m. room 202. Email WOC@glccb.org WOMEN OUT AND ABOUT Social group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women who want to meet new people doing enjoyable activities. For more information on planned activities contact Ms. Kelly at BWOAEvents@ yahoo.com

YOUTH & YOUNG ADULT SUFFICIENT AS I aM (SAIM) A supportive group for youth and young adults 24 years of age and under. Youth are welcome to drop-in and try out this successful, long-running program which features a rap group, special activities, speakers, trips! Meets every Saturday, room 201 at 12:00 p.m. Email SAIM@glccb.org Part of the GLCCB’s mission is to provide quality support services, appropriate facilities and professional resources for the development and well-being of individuals and groups. While the GLCCB is committed to positive and enriching experiences for all who use its services, the group descriptions listed, content, and the views expressed are those of the facilitators or organizers and do not necessarily reflect those of the GLCCB. The GLCCB is a 501(c)(3) organization.

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BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

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outgoing SPOTLIGHT

Out Front and Center:Youth Pride Day in DC

he capitol’s 15th Annual Youth Pride Day comes during an especially important time for visibility and strength in numbers in LGBTQ history.Youth 24 years old and under will be celebrating life in the heart of the Dupont Circle.

Event Info Youth Pride Day Dupont Circle, Washington, D.C. Saturday, April 30, 12pm-5pm (Rain date May 7)

Headlining the event are the gals from the pilot reality show Drag City: DC. The afternoon-long affair will also feature many other performances plus games, speakers, resources, and schwag. The after party, The Infatuation Dance, will feature DJ Keenan spinning House, Electro, Baltimore Club, HipHop, and R&B into the evening at U street Music Hall.

The Youth Pride Alliance has put on Youth Pride Day, the first and largest youth Pride event with over 900 celebrants, every year since 1997. For more information visit YouthPrideDC.Org. – R.D.

DATEBOOK Friday, April 29 Charm City Invitational Volleyball Tournament begins: LGBT athletes from around the US play hard by day, then party hard at night. Thru 4/31. Volleyball House. 5635 Furnace Ave, Elkridge VolleyBaltimore.org Transmodern Festival begins: Experimental performance work by local and national artists, especially women, minority, and GLBTQ artists. Various times, locations. Thru 4/31. $12-30. TransModernFestival.org Holly Hughes’ “Dog and Pony Show (Bring your own Pony)”: Hughes’ new solo performance is a comic/poetic meditation on a midlife crisis in the key of canine. Thru 5/1. 8pm. $10-15. GLCCB Pride in the Arts, 241 W. Chase St. IronCrowTheatre.com

Come Dancing: With DJ Jason Royce and NiteCamp, the hot, all college age go-go dancer team. 10pm. Club Hippo, 1 W. Eager St. ClubHippo.com

Sunday, May 1

Charm City Kitty Club presents “Revolution, Hon!”: Baltimore’s original gay cabaret presents performances by Jessie Murphy in the Woods, Bettina Judd, Sarah Tooley, comedienne Violet Gray, and more. 7pm, cocktails; 8pm, show. $10-12. The Patterson, 3134 Patterson Ave. CreativeAlliance.org “The Seafarer” opens: (See article, p. 7) Thru June 5. 8pm. $1017 Fells Point Corner Theatre, 251 S. Ann St. FPCT.org

Saturday, May 7 Supporting LGBTQ Youth: Community Needs and Resources: Four workshops, plus keynote by Linda Goldman, author of “Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing the Well-Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth.” 1pm-5pm. Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Congregation, 9601 Cedar Lane, Bethesda Cedarlane.org COMMAND MC Anniversary Dinner: Buffet and open bar for COMMAND MC’s 23rd anniversary. 7pm. $45. United Church of Christ, 1728 Eastern Ave. COMMANDMC.org DC boys of leather Bar Night: Continue COMMAND’s anniversary celebration at this party, hosted by DC boys. 9pm. Leon’s Leather Lounge, 227 W. Chase St. LeonsLeatherLounge.com

Sunday, May 8 MOTHER’S DAY

Tuesday, May 10 Howard County PFLAG Monthly Meeting: Screening of “Faces and Facets,” a short documentary that explores the lives of transgender people and their families, followed by Q&A. 7:30pm. FREE. Owen Brown Interfaith Center, 7246 Cradlerock Way, Columbia PFLAGmd.org “Andy Warhol: Good for the Jews?”opens: Josh Kornbluth performs his one-man show about big ideas, spanning the realms of art, identity, Judaism, and culture. Thru May 15. 8pm. $15-27. Center Stage, 700 N. Calvert St. CenterStage.org

Wednesday, May 11 BINGO!: Hosted by Roger Dimick. Cash prizes and progressive jackpot. Proceeds benefit GLCCB. 8:30pm. Club Hippo, 1 W. Eager St. ClubHippo.com

Monday, May 2 HOLOCAUST REMEMBRANCE DAY (Yom Hashoah)

CAPS Softball League Early Registration Deadline: Last day to sign-up for summer play with LGBT teams in Baltimore and DC. $75. Visit: http://www.eteamz.com/caps/ Call: 202-543-0236 Email: caps@edowling.com.

BINGO!: Hosted by Roger Dimick. Cash prizes and progressive jackpot. Proceeds benefit GLCCB. 8:30pm. Club Hippo, 1 W.Eager St. ClubHippo.com

COMMAND MC Bar Night: Meet the Corps of Men Making a Noticeable Difference. 10pm. Baltimore Eagle, 2022 N. Charles St. COMMANDMC.org

After Hours: Photography Late Night: Extended hours for the “Seeing Now” exhibit, performances by Jenny Flash and the Exposures, The Motorettes, DJ Matt Walter. Cash bar, light fare, local films, photography workshops, and more. 6:30–10:30pm. FREE. Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Dr. artBMA.org.

Sweetlife Festival: Featuring The Strokes, Girl Talk, Lupe Fiasco, Crystal Castles, Cold War Kids, Ra Ra Riot, Walk the Moon, and U.S. Royalty. Noon. $55. Merriweather Post Pavilion, 10475 Little Patuxent Parkway, Columbia MerriweatherMusic.com

Wednesday, May 4

Youth Pride Day 2011: (See article above.) Rain date is Saturday, May 7. Noon-5pm. Dupont Circle, Washington, DC YouthPrideDC.org

Flowermart 2011: Wide-brimmed bonnets and lemon peppermint sticks are de rigeur at Baltimore’s annual celebration of all things floral. Fun for kids, too! Thru May 7. 11am-8pm. FREE. Mt. Vernon Square, Charles and Monument Sts. Flowermart.org

MAY DAY

Saturday, April 30

Team With a Purpose Zumbathon: Join Riders for the Feast to Zumba and raise money for Moveable Feast. Noon-3pm. $25. YMCA, 900 E. 33rd St. Register: TeamWithaPurpose.org

Friday, May 6

Thursday, May 5 CINCO DE MAYO “Crumbs: a possibly true story”: (See article, p. 7) Thru May 15. 8pm. $10-20. Theatre Project, 45 W. Preston St. TheatreProject.org Maryland Film Festival begins: (See article, p. 9) Thru May 8. 8pm. Tickets: $10-40 or $200 (all access). MICA Brown Center, 1300 Mt. Royal Ave. and The Charles Theater, 1711 N. Charles St. MD-FilmFest.com

Thursday, May 12 Artwalk 2011: Special preview party of MICA’s 2011 Commencement Exhibition, with casual dinner fare. 5pm. $25. MICA, Cohen Plaza, 1303 W. Mount Royal Ave. MICA.edu.

Friday, May 13 Ride for the Feast: Hundreds of cyclists participate in this annual, two-day, 140-mile charity ride from Ocean City, Md., to Baltimore. Proceeds benefit Moveable Feast. Info: MFeast.org or RidefortheFeast.org “Doubt: A Parable” opens: (See article, p. 7) Thru June 12. $1620. Spotlighters Theatre, 817 St. Paul St. Spotlighters.org

For additional details and more events, please visit the NEW Gay Life calendar online at BaltimoreGayLife.com/Events EMAIL YOUR EVENT INFO TO CALENDAR@BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM Compiled by Ryan Davis and Mark Douglas

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VOLUME 33, NUMBER 8 PAGE 17

4/27/11 7:35 PM

TRANSMISSIONS Continued from page 15

kings, popes, and other leaders who were cross-gendered. We have thirdgender subcultures amongst most world societies, stretching from the Gallae of ancient Phrygia to the modern day Hijira of India.

In what would one day be Prague, in the distant past, we see more humanity for one person’s gender expression than we see in what many view as the most liberal, most LGBT friendly city in the United States.

In spite of such a rich history—now apparently stretching back over five thousand years—we now live in a time when the very image of a boy with pink toenails is somehow a nefarious plot to overthrow gender norms, and where politicians will seek to disallow transgender people from enjoying the same rights and protections of the rest of society.

Is this what we’ve become? If this is now, what’s to come—and how can we get back to a time of acceptance for one’s own gender identity and expression? I hope it does not take another five thousand years to get there. n

afterhours HUNTER ON THE PROWL!

Gwen Smith opted to not write this column on clay tablets. You can find her on the web at GwenSmith.com.

KURTZ Continued from page 15

Through the years, I have watched the national conversation over gay marriage with dismay. It outrages me that conservatives have demagogued the issue for so long—that gay-bashing is an old reliable for Republican strategists, to gin up the base vote. The very title of the Defense of Marriage Act is an insult. What’s there to defend? Many gay couples want to be married – they’re not attacking the institution. It’s hardly a secret that gay men and lesbians have an image problem in this country. There are well-established stereotypes that the media perpetuate, even as they increasingly celebrate gay culture. In reality, of course, lesbians and gay men come from all walks of life, and are all races, creeds, economic classes, physical specimens and personality types. But the stereotypes undoubtedly hurt the gay community’s ability to forge political alliances. It’s hard to make the argument that you’re being discriminated against when the perception is you’re all pampered and privileged. Some people argue that gays, unlike racial minorities, who can’t hide who they are, wouldn’t be feared and discriminated against—if only they would stay in the closet and stop making people feel so uncomfortable. One of the most painful aspects of the recent debate over gay marriage in Maryland was the ambivalence or downright opposition of certain African-American legislators and the pressure some black churches put on them to vote against the legislation. For me, opposing gay marriage is supporting discrimination, plain and simple, and in my mind, it’s awfully hard for politicians—of any race—to justify that.

PAGE 18 • APRIL 29 - MAY 12, 2011

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I obviously don’t know what it’s like to be a racial minority in this country. I am not going to lecture anybody here. But I believe that minorities who vote against gay marriage are like the successful policymakers who benefited from programs to help the underprivileged and then vote to eliminate them. It happens all the time. The failure of gay marriage in Maryland this year can’t all be placed at the opposition’s feet. Advocates spent too much time focusing on the state Senate and didn’t do a proper head count in the House of Delegates. They took things for granted. They never adequately made the case. Sen. Allan Kittleman (R) was a hero for supporting the measure. The opposition of many moderate and conservative Democrats was a major disappointment. The performance of Gov. Martin O’Malley (D)—saying he’d sign the bill if it passed even though he preferred civil unions and then not lifting a finger to help the bill in its hour of need—was bizarre. A moment has been lost. There’s no guarantee the legislation will be back— or do any better—next year. During my years covering Maryland, I have prided myself on offering wry, detached—and with luck, insightful—commentary on the issues of the day. I’m not comfortable talking about myself and my family. I apologize to them—and to readers—for doing so. But you see, gay rights opponents insult my mother. And I will not forget. n Josh Kurtz is editor of Environment & Energy Daily, a Capitol Hill publication. He can be reached at joshkurtz92@gmail.com.

Chi Chi Ray Colby Wins Miss Gay Md. Plus: Benefits, Anniversaries, and More! BY MARK HUNTER

I am here for your entertainment and prowled the streets of Baltimore to see what I could find for you! On Sunday April 10, Miss Victoria Blair had a benefit show at Mixer’s on BelAir Rd. to help raise money to continue her efforts to run for Miss Gay MD America 2011! Miss Blair gathered many entertainers to help her such as and not limited to Miss Marketta Minett, Miss Anita Minett, Miss Kelly Koxx, Miss Anastacia (Miss Mixers 2010), Miss Cha’nel Van Cartier Couture, Miss Shateesah Alexander, and of course Miss Victoria Blair. MC for the evening was Miss Karmella and DJ Joe Pipkin spun the music for the evening. As always the bar was packed and everyone was entertained. On Thursday April 14, I finally was able to attend the Annual Towson University Drag Show. It was held at the Queer Student Union and included many students along with local entertainers such as Miss Anastacia, Miss Karmella, Miss Anita Minett, Miss Phoenix Bloomingdale, Miss Sue Nami, Miss Vanity Starr, Miss Kelly Koxx and many students who performed in various acts. The show was free and was very entertaining from start to finish. Friday April 15, at PW’s Sports Bar Miss Stormy Vain & Miss Regina Jozet Adams held a benefit for John Hopkins. The night was full of many entertainers including Miss Marketta Minett, Miss Ada Buffet, Miss Cha’nel Van Cartier Couture,

Miss Ashlee Jozet Adams, Miss Gracie Freebush including Miss Stormy & Miss Regina. Miss Stormy Vain finished out the night with a song and requested anyone who had or knew someone who died from cancer to come join her on stage. The stage got so full of people with many with tears and Stormy brought the house down. The night was a huge success with all the entertainers giving up all their tips from the night, and they raised over $700.00 for John Hopkins. As John Hopkins was leaving for the evening they were given another $100.00 to add to the donations. What an amazing evening for all. Now onto one of the biggest weekends for the drag community. April 16 -18, Miss Gay MD America 2011 Pageant being held at Club Hippo. Starting Saturday night was Miss Gay MD in Review Show which included many past winners. Sunday, April 17 was the start of the contest with 10 contestants. The girls started the night with Solo Talent and they all were amazing. Next was Evening Gown and Talent. In between all the categories was plenty of entertainment. Many local entertainers along with Miss Gay America 2011 Coti Collins, Miss CoCo Montrese, Miss Nicole Dubois and Miss Gay MD 2010 Onyx Revlon. Monday night as the night started, all the contestants were reintroduced and then the top five girls were announced: Miss Cha’nel Van Cartier Courture, Miss Chi Chi Ray Colby, Miss Araya Sparxx, Miss Sabrina Summers, and Miss Meaner. BALTIMORE GAYLIFE

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After all the entertainment, on stage questions, solo talent, talent and evening gown the winners were announced: First Runner Up, Miss Araya Sparxx and Miss Gay MD America 2011, Miss Chi Chi Ray Colby!

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