Vol. 30, No. 8, April 18 - May 1, 2008

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APRIL 18 - MAY 1, 2008 VOLUME XXX, NUMBER 8 W W W. B A L T I M O R E G A Y L I F E . C O M

IN THIS ISSUE PAGE 27

EBONY CHUNKY LOVE AT JOHNS HOPKINS FILM FESTIVAL ON APRIL 20

PAGE 32

“THE FACTS OF LIFE”: EQUALITY FORUM 2008 FEATURES THE WORKS OF LEGENDARY PHOTOGRAPHER DUANE MICHALS

PAGE 33

HIDE & SEEK: BALTIMORE MEN’S CHORUS READY FOR SPRING CABARET

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WHAT’S INSIDE FEATURE

Question: Are We Too Politically Correct

By Michael K. Lavers

PAGE 32

IMHO: Part One – Looking for Love?

By Mario Fernandez

“The Facts of Life”: Equality Forum 2008 Features the Works of Legendary Photographer Duane Michals. Interview by Maddy Dwertman

PAGE 35 Agent of Moral Courage: An Interview with Muslim Reformist Irshad Manji . Interview by Maddy Dwertman

NEWS PAGE 4 - LOCAL NEWS

COVER PHOTO BY LYNN GOLDSMITH

Baltimore: The Urban Forest Project Takes Root; Chase Brexton will Honor Three Marylanders for National and Community Leadership at Anniversary Gala; GLCCB Among Recipients of 2008 C.O.B.A.L.T. Awards; Limited Progress for LGBT Marylanders in 2008 Legislative Session

PAGE 5 - NATIONAL NEWS iTunes Reportedly Pulls Dancehall Songs; 1,000 Rally at Oklahoma City Sally Rally; 400 Protest Phelpses in Topeka; Alabama Girls Win Prom Battle; Konica Minolta Takes Away Health Benefits After Couple Moves; Missoula Library Comes Out: Arizona Anti-Gay Amendment Killed; Mormon Leadership to Meet with Gays; Hillary Talks to Gay Press; Tutu Addresses Gay Group in San Francisco; Detroit, Kansas City Pass Transgender Protections. By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley 241 W. Chase Street, Baltimore, MD 21201 Phone: 410.837.7748 Fax: 410.837.8889 Email: editor@baltimoregaylife.com Brian Flottemesch President of GLCCB Editor editor@baltimoregaylife.com

Michael Nguyen Art Director art@baltimoregaylife.com

Maddy Dwertman Sales sales@baltimoregaylife.com

National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS Shayna Robinson John Cullen Marty Shayt Maddy Dwertman Gwendolyn Ann Smith Marry Elaine Sydnei SmithJordan Mario Fernandez Rex Wockner Bill Kelley Michael K. Lavers Miss Prudence Worthington Rev. Irene Monroe David Placher Gay Life is a publication of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore. Gay Life is published every other Friday in Baltimore, Maryland, with distribution throughout the Mid-Atlantic region.

Copyrighted 2008. All Rights Reserved. Gay Life is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Gay Life or its publisher.

PAGE 7 - INTERNATIONAL NEWS Olympic Torch Delayed in London by Gay Leader; Ecuadorean President Supports Same-Sex Partnerships; Men Arrested for Homosexual Conduct in Iran; Activists Denounce Prosecution of Ukrainian Gay Newspaper; Copenhagen OK’s Gay Foster Parents; Ireland Finalizing Partnership Bill; Euro Court Extends Pension Rights to Gay Couples; Chief of Panama’s National Police Welcomes Gay Officers; Old Video Embarrasses Canadian MP; Trouble Reported for Gays in Shanghai Too; Costa Rica Declares National Day Against Homophobia. By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley

PAGE 25 Gay and Lesbian Criminal Justice Professionals will Gather in DC for Training and Support. By Maddy Dwertman DC Youth Pride Largest Area LGBTQA Youth Event

OPINONS PAGE 18 Thomas Beatie is Pregnant

By Gwendolyn Ann Smith Cornel West Calls Obama Out for Dissing King Tribute

By Rev. Irene Monroe

Playmate, Placeholder, Partner, Or Dating?

By David Placher

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT PAGE 27 - FILM Ebony Chunky Love: Johns Hopkins Film Festival Features Documentary on Gay African-American Comic Keith Price.

Interview by Maddy Dwertman

PAGE 31 - PENCIL ME IN Calendar. By Maddy Dwertman

PAGE 33 - MUSIC Hide & Seek: Baltimore Men’s Chorus Ready for Spring Cabaret

PAGE 40 - THEATER On The Stage

HOME PAGE 39 - INTERIOR DESIGN Green Building Options from the Ground Up. ARA Content

COMMUNITY & COLUMNS PAGE 26 - COMMUNITY CALENDAR PAGE 28 - DINING OUT P. F. Chang’s China Bistro. By John Cullen & Marty Shayt

PAGE 29 - FICTION Cereal: The Adventures of Pico Darling. By SIR. Robinson

PAGE 41 - QUOTE UNQUOTE

By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley

PAGE 43 - DO AS I SAY Prudence Responds to Your Letters.

By Miss Prudence Worthington

PAGE 44 - MARKETPLACE PAGE 44 - SERVICE DIRECTORY

FOR FUN PAGE 30 - Q PUZZLE P-ness Envy

PAGE 42 - HOMOSTROLOGY

By Marry Elaine

VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM. PA G E 2 • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

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LOCAL NEWS Baltimore: The Urban Forest Project Takes Root The Tilt Studio Foundation, in association with TreeBaltimore, has brought The Urban Forest Project to Baltimore. A public art installation that aims to draw attention to the importance of sustainability and promote environmental stewardship, the exhibit has covered Baltimore with hundreds of banner featuring the work of local artists and designers.

Started in New York City in 2006, the Urban Forest Project has evolved to include a series of public education events in the city’s many parks. And, through its collaboration with Tree Baltimore, it seeks to help double the tree canopy of the city over the next 30 years as laid out in Mayor Dixon’s Greener Baltimore initiative.

Banner from The Urban Forest Project

“We encourage people to get out and enjoy the banners, spread the message of sustainability, volunteer to help with the events, and, most importantly, get out and plant trees in our community and help TreeBaltimore to be a success,” noted Rachael Baird, Idea Lady at Tilt Studio.

The exhibit began with a celebration on John’s Hopkins Campus on April 11 and will culminate with displays of all of the banners at Maryland Institute College of Art on June 28. Other events include the Gensler Installation at Patterson Park on May 11, Cut Farm & 4thought Tree Sculpture Contents in Wyman Dell during Charles Village Festival on May 31, Fastspot in Carroll Park on June 8 and Herring Run Park Berry Festival on June 21. The banners will also be recycled into a line of tote bags which will be sold to raise funds for TreeBaltimore.

Dan Furmansky, executive director of Equality Maryland, Craig Wiley, executive director of the GLCCB, and Simon Fong, president of UB Student Events Board recognized at 2nd Annual C.O.B.A.L.T. Awards.

GLCCB Among Recipients of 2008 C.O.B.A.L.T. Awards On April 11, University of Baltimore Law School’s LGBT student group, OUTLaw, sponsored the 2nd Annual C.O.B.A.L.T. Awards to celebrate LGBT trailblazers in Baltimore. The evening featured a presentation by the Free State Legal Project, which is working to set up the country’s second LGBT legal clinic here in Baltimore, musical performances

by Funky Foot and catering by Agape House, Inc. The Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore (GLCCB) was the recipient of the 2008 Community Action Award. The UB Student Events Board received the Outstanding UB Community Contribution Award; State Sen. Gwendolyn T. Britt (11/29/41-01/12/08) was honored with the Lifetime of Service Award; and Dan Furmanksy, executive director of Equality Maryland, received the Mark F. Scurti Award for Outstanding Contributions to the LGBT Community.

Chase Brexton will Honor Three Marylanders for National and Community Leadership at Anniversary Gala Chase Brexton Health Services, a non-profit, community-based healthcare organization with centers in Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Howard County and the Eastern Shore, will honor Sen. Benjamin Cardin, David Lawrence Hankey and Franklin N. McNeil, Jr. for their extraordinary support of the organization and commitment to equal access to healthcare. All three will be honored at Chase Brexton’s 30th anniversary gala, “Tulips at the Temple”, on Saturday, April 26.

Sen. Cardin will receive the Advocacy Award for his national leadership role on healthcare issues.

“Sen. Cardin is a strong advocate for our most vulnerable citizens and a national leader on health care,” said

David Shippee, Chase Brexton’s executive director. As a member of congress, Cardin, along with Sen. Barbara Mikulski, was a key supporter of Ryan White Funding.

“Sen. Cardin is a long-time friend and supporter of Chase Brexton,” said Shippee. “He is one of only a few federally elected officials who has stood with us on World AIDS Day to read the names of those who have passed away.”

Chase Brexton will present David L. Hankey with its Leadership Award for his guidance and direction as president of the Chase Brexton board of directors from 1996 to 2000, an important time of expansion and growth for the organization.

“As president, David possessed that rare blend of personal and professional skills that allowed us to enhance the composition of our board and make it more professional and well rounded,” Shippee commented. During Hankey’s tenure as president of the board, Chase Brexton opened its first health center outside of Baltimore City.

Chase Brexton will also honor Franklin N. McNeil, Jr. with the Spirit Award for his enthusiastic support and ongoing commitment to the mission of the organization. For over 13 years, McNeil served on Chase Brexton’s board of directors and has been involved in numerous fundraising efforts for the organization.

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“Frank is being honored for his infectious ability to get other people involved, often functioning as an ambassador,” explain Shippee. “He is always willing to step up and lead fundraising efforts for us.”

“Tulips at the Temple,” will be held at the Scottish Rite Masonic Center located at 3800 North Charles Street.

All proceeds from the event will benefit the Care Fund of Chase Brexton Health Services, which provides quality health care to individuals and families who do not have the ability to pay.

For tickets ($150/person) or additional information, visit www.chasebrexton.org.

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Limited Progress for LGBT Marylanders in 2008 Legislative Session The 425th Session of the Maryland General Assembly ended at midnight on Monday, April 7. Although the General Assembly did pass two domestic partner measures, progress towards equality for LGBT Marylanders continues to move slowly.

The Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act was introduced for the first time this year with an impressive 7 lead sponsors and 42 cosponsors. With the conservative Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee remaining a major stumbling block to moving the bill forward, House leaders failed to take up the measure, and the bill never received a vote.

Equality Maryland fought hard to get the Maryland Commission on Human Relations to sponsor a transgender anti-discrimination bill. Due, however, to lack of action by the Governor’s Office and House Health and Government Operations Committee Chairman Pete Hammen’s reticence to move the measure in the House without guarantee it would clear the Senate, it was filed at the last minute by Del.

Doyle Niemann as a private-sponsor bill. As a result, the bill received only a limited hearing without the possibility of movement this year.

A bill, introduced by Sen. Richard Madaleno, that would allow state employees to designate one adult in the household for health insurance coverage also failed to move forward. Gov. O’Malley has not spoken as to when he will provide all state employees with equal benefits.

Despite disappointment over the failure of these measures, the General Assembly did approve to measures that were passed in 2005 but vetoed by Gov. Ehrlich. Senate Bill 566 provides domestic partners with 11 protections, including the right to visit one another in the hospital, share a room in a nursing home and make funeral decision for one another. Senate Bill 597 adds “domestic partners” to the list of family members a person can add or remove from the deed of their home without being required to pay recordation and transfer fees and taxes.

Gov. O’Malley is expected to sign both bills, which would go into effect on July 1, 2008.

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NATIONAL NEWS

BY REX WOCKNER WITH BILL KELLEY

iTunes Reportedly Pulls Dancehall Songs wrote. "Sections 318 and 319 of the Criminal Code make it criminal offences to advocate killing members of a group, or to publicly incite or promote hatred based on a person's sexual orientation. Section 13 of the Canadian Human Rights Act prohibits Internet communications ... of messages that expose or that are likely to expose a person to hatred on the basis of their sexual orientation."

Akim Adé Larcher of Stop Murder Music (Canada). Wockner News photo Following a joint campaign by the Canadian national gay-lobby group Egale and Stop Murder Music (Canada), iTunes apparently has removed anti-gay songs by popular Jamaican dancehall singers Buju Banton, Elephant Man and T.O.K. from its North American service.

"This is an historic victory for the LGBT community," said Akim Adé Larcher of Stop Murder Music. "iTunes is exercising its corporate responsibility by pulling this murder music and raising the bar for other retailers and distributors to do the same."

Several Jamaican dancehall singers have a history of bashing gays in their lyrics, including, in some cases, calling for them to be killed.

Banton's 1992 hit "Boom Bye Bye," for example, advocates shooting gay men, dumping acid on them and setting them alight.

Its lyrics include: "Boom bye bye / Inna batty bwoy head / Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man / Dem haffi dead / ... Send fi di matic an / Di Uzi instead / Shoot dem no come if we shot dem / ... Guy come near we / Then his skin must peel / Burn him up bad like an old tire wheel."

The songs iTunes apparently deleted include T.O.K.'s "Chi-Chi Man," Elephant Man's "Log On" and Banton's "Boom Bye Bye." Apple's public relations office in Cupertino, Calif., and the company's director of marketing in Canada did not return a reporter's calls seeking comment.

However, the reporter confirmed that the songs are unavailable on the service and, by chance, the reporter previously had downloaded "Boom Bye Bye" from iTunes during research for an earlier story.

More than 400 people staged a protest in Topeka, Kan., March 30 against the Fred Phelps group. Photo by Bethany Rowell

400 Protest Phelpses in Topeka More than 400 people staged a protest in Topeka, Kan., March 30 against the "God Hates Fags" Fred Phelps group, best-known in recent years for picketing military funerals with the claim that God is punishing America for its acceptance of homosexuality.

The "Million Fag March" took place in the city's Gage Park, the Topeka Capital-Journal reported.

"The theory has been to ignore them, and they'll go away," co-organizer Chris Love told the paper. "It's been 20 years, and they're still here. Now we are too. ... It's just time to show people that not everyone in Kansas is like the Phelpses."

1,000 at Oklahoma City Sally Rally

even more so than terrorism or Islam, which I think is a big threat, OK?

hibits publicly funded schools from barring gay couples from school functions.

More than 1,000 people rallied at the state Capitol in Oklahoma City April 2 in support of beleaguered state Rep. Sally Kern.

"Because what's happening now, they're going after—in schools— two-year olds!... They're going after our young children, as young as two years of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle.

Chelsea Overstreet, 17, and Lauren Martin, 16, did not speak to reporters after the decision.

Kern has been under fire since March 7 when the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund posted an audio clip on YouTube of a speech in which Kern called gays more dangerous to America than terrorists.

At the rally Kern said she cannot apologize for the comments because "when God calls something a sin, then it's a sin."

"This stuff is deadly and it's spreading and it will destroy our young people, it will destroy this nation."

Alabama Girls Win Prom Battle

"Batty bwoy" is a pejorative Jamaican term for "gay man."

In the original speech, which Kern apparently was not aware was being recorded, she said: "The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation, OK? It's just a fact.

Two female high-school students in Scottsboro, Ala., got to go to their prom together March 29 after a judge said the Board of Education had acted illegally in banning them.

In their communications with Apple, Larcher and Egale Executive Director Helen Kennedy said such lyrics are illegal in Canada.

"Studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades.

"Incitement of violence and murder offends Canadian law," they

"I honestly think it's the biggest threat even—that our nation has—

According to local media, Jackson County Circuit Judge John Graham cited a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that U.S. states and their agencies cannot target homosexuals for special discriminatory treatment, and another federal court ruling that pro-

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Scottsboro, pop. 14,951, is in northeastern Alabama, 40 miles east of Huntsville.

Konica Minolta Takes Away Health Benefits After Couple Moves The Konica Minolta corporation has taken away 9/11 survivor Robert Ryan's health insurance after he and his partner, who works for the company, relocated from New Jersey, which has a civil-union law, to Idaho, which does not.

Ryan has suffered from depression, asthma and other problems related to the 9/11 attacks. He escaped from the south tower of the World Trade Center after terrorists slammed a jet into the north tower, and was trampled by a crowd in the process. A second plane then hit Ryan's office

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tower, four floors above where he had been working. He later went on disability and, before meeting his partner, Ralph Martinelli, spent his savings to stay afloat.

Executive Director Barbara McCullough-Jones.

"Equality Arizona celebrates today's decision with the thousands of people who called on the Legislature to stop this divisive measure."

"I'm still working at the same company, doing the same job," said Martinelli. "Why shouldn't I be able to cover my partner in Idaho like I did in New Jersey? This would never happen to a married couple."

Mormon Leadership to Meet with Gays

According to the American Civil Liberties Union, which has taken on the couple's case, Konica Minolta "currently interprets its policy as requiring employees to re-register as domestic partners with the state every time that they move, even though many states have no way for samesex partners to do so."

Many other companies that provide such benefits accept a marriage, civil-union or domesticpartnership certificate from anywhere, or just an affidavit of the relationship.

"Konica Minolta wants all the good will that comes with providing domestic-partner insurance, but they clearly don't want to have to provide the benefits. Otherwise they would never be interpreting [their] policy in such a restrictive way," said Jack Van Valkenburgh, executive director of the ACLU of Idaho.

Ed Barocas, legal director of the ACLU of New Jersey, added: "Underlying all of this is the confusion and mistrust engendered by terms like 'civil union' and 'domestic partnership' as opposed to 'marriage.' Same-sex couples are asked to prove that their relationships aren't imaginary every time they move, and employers take advantage of the lack of uniformity to treat people unfairly."

Konica Minolta has not commented on the matter.

Missoula library Comes Out While the public library board in Nampa, Idaho, recently voted to remove The Joy of Gay Sex from the shelves, the Missoula Public Library in Montana is gearing up for "Out at the Library," The Missoulian reported March 30.

The gay-history exhibit originated at the San Francisco Public Library in 2006 and has visited only a dozen other libraries across the U.S.

Leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints (the Mormons) have agreed to meet with the gay Mormon group Affirmation in August, the Salt Lake Tribune reported April 8.

The meeting was authorized by the church's new president, Thomas S. Monson.

Affirmation's assistant executive director, Dave Melson, told the Tribune the group's members hope to discuss such things as gay Mormons being kicked out of their homes for coming out, being told to marry someone of the opposite sex to fix their problem, and being expelled from Brigham Young University for going to gay bars.

Melson further wants the church to stop supporting anti-gay legislation, stop calling homosexuality a "disease" or "lifestyle choice" and stop teaching homophobia "as a family value."

Hillary Talks to Gay Press Hillary Clinton told Philadelphia Gay News on April 3 that discrimination against same-sex couples in immigration law is "one of the biggest problems that we've got to contend with."

"Even states that have civil unions, domestic partnerships or even marriage laws are running into roadblocks with the federal government when it comes to federal benefits and privileges," she said. "Of course, immigration is a federal responsibility and I am going to do everything I can to eliminate any disparities in any benefits or rights under our law at the federal level so that all people will have available to them every right as an American citizen that they should, and that would include immigration law."

On same-sex marriage, Clinton told the paper: "[M]arriage is in the province of the state[s], which has actually turned out to be lucky for us, because we didn't have to get beaten on the Federal Marriage Amendment because we could make, among other arguments, that it was such a stretch

"I anticipate that there will be a very concerted amount of effort in the next couple of years that will move this important issue forward and different states will take different approaches as they did with marriage over many years and you will see an evolution over time."

Clinton also said that if elected, she would attempt to punish nations that harshly oppress gay people, such as Iran, Iraq and Egypt, among others.

"I would be very strongly outspoken about this and it would be part of American foreign policy," she said. "There are a number of gross humanrights abuses that countries engage in with whom we have relations and we have to be really vigilant and outspoken in our total repudiation of those kinds of actions and do everything we can, including using our leverage on matters such as aid, to change the behavior so we can try to prevent such atrocities from happening."

Detroit, Kansas City Pass Transgender Protections The city councils of Detroit and Kansas City passed laws banning discrimination against transgender people in early April.

The vote in Detroit was 8-1 and in Kansas City it was unanimous.

"Detroit and Kansas City are just the latest among a growing number of municipalities that have acted to put an end to this pervasive discrimination, and we hope these victories will lay the foundation for statewide protections in Michigan and Missouri," said Rea Carey, deputy executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

Thirteen states, the District of Columbia and 105 cities and counties ban discrimination against transgender people.

Tutu Addresses Gay Group in San Francisco

Co-curator Molly Kliss told the newspaper she will invite gay-themed authors with ties to Montana or the West to make presentations during the show, which runs from April 17 to May 31.

"It's an opportunity to focus on a part of our history that is sometimes ignored," Kliss said.

In his first speech before a large U.S. gay group, South African Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu addressed the annual awards ceremony of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco on April 8.

Patricia Nell Warren, author of the groundbreaking gay novel The Front Runner, will speak at the exhibit grand opening. She grew up in Deer Lodge, Mont.

Arizona Anti-Gay Amendment Killed

"How sad it is that the church should be so obsessed with this particular issue of human sexuality when God's children are facing massive problems—poverty, disease, corruption, conflict," Tutu said.

An effort to amend Arizona's Constitution to ban same-sex marriage died in the House of Representatives April 3 when opponents amended it to also create domestic partnership for same-sex couples.

Led by state Rep. Kyrsten Sinema, legislators voted 28-27 to alter the bill. Four Republicans joined Democrats in wielding the tactic, which made the bill unpalatable to its author and supporters.

for the federal government and it was wrong to enshrine discrimination in the Constitution. And that states are really beginning seriously to deal with the whole range of options, including marriage, both under their own state constitutions and under the legislative approach.

South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu addressed the annual awards ceremony of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco on April 8. IGHLRC photo

About 500 people attended the gala, where Tutu was presented with IGLHRC's "Outspoken" award recognizing his decades of vocal support for GLBT rights and equality.

IGLHRC Executive Director Paula Ettelbrick called Tutu "a moral luminary whose inclusive approach to human rights advocacy paves the way for a better world."

"We are now able to focus on the issues that unite the people of Arizona," said Equality Arizona www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • P A G E 7

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INTERNATIONAL NEWS Olympic Torch Delayed in London by Gay Leader human rights of the rural poor and people with HIV," Tatchell said.

"He exposed the Chinese government's coverup of the use of HIVcontaminated blood, the lack of support and care for people with HIV, and he challenged social prejudice and discrimination against people with the virus.

"Hi Jia is a truly heroic figure, who… kept campaigning, even though he knew it would put him at risk of arrest, torture and imprisonment."

Leading British gay activist Peter Tatchell. Photo by Rex Wockner The bus carrying the Olympic torch was delayed in London's Oxford Street on April 6 by wellknown activist Peter Tatchell of the gay-rights group OutRage!.

Tatchell said British Prime Minister Gordon Brown "shamed himself and Britain" when he greeted the torch at his official residence "at a time when China is shooting dead Tibetan protesters and jailing and torturing hundreds of political prisoners."

Police wrestled Tatchell to the pavement, deposited him on the sidewalk and released him without charge after questioning.

"All countries that love freedom, democracy and liberty should refuse to host the Olympic torch and boycott the opening and closing ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics," Tatchell said. "Athletes should wear Tibetan flags during their events and on the podium when they collect their medals."

"Hu Jia was jailed for 3 1/2 years last week for campaigning for free speech, Tibetan autonomy, environmental protection, and for the

The torch also encountered messy protests in Paris and San Francisco this month for the same general reasons.

Tatchell ran in front of the bus and held up a poster which said, "Free Tibet, Free Hu Jia."

Men Arrested for Homosexual Conduct in Iran The arrest of more than 30 men attending a house party in Esfahán, Iran, signals renewed efforts by Iranian authorities to enforce morality codes, Human Rights Watch said March 28.

Sources said the raid took place Feb. 28-29 and that the men have been jailed since without access to lawyers and without being charged with a crime.

Police reportedly referred the men to a medical examiner to look for "evidence" they had engaged in gay sex.

Iranian law provides punishments up to death for penetrative sex between men. The last documented death sentences for consensual homosexual conduct were handed down in March 2005. It is not known whether they were carried out.

Iran is known to have executed several teens and men accused of engaging in sodomy, but in the cases that have been publicized in recent years the individuals were accused of other crimes as well, such as rape.

Ecuadorean President Rafael Correa. Photo: Presidencia de la República del Ecuador

Ecuadorean President Supports Same-Sex Partnerships Ecuadorean President Rafael Correa said March 29 that the government "will seek to grant certain guarantees to stable homosexual unions but without ever arriving at the point of marriage."

"Let's be clear that the profoundly humanistic position of this government is to respect the intrinsic dignity of everyone, of every human being, independently of their creed, race, sexual preference," Correa said. "We will give certain guarantees to stable gay couples but matrimony will continue being reserved for a man, a woman and the family."

Correa also said: "Every person has dignity, that's to say, one must respect a person independently of their sexual preference. Be careful not to deny employment to someone because of their sexual preference. That is discrimination, that is unconstitutional."

The International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission has said it suspects that other charges are tacked onto sodomy cases to prevent the public outrage that would accompany executions carried out solely for the crime of consensual adult gay sex. The group also has said it believes executions solely for gay sex are taking place out of the public eye.

But Human Rights Watch has said it cannot fully document any executions in Iran in recent years carried out solely for the crime of consensual adult gay sex, and that there is no evidence that charges of consensual homosexual conduct are converted to charges of rape in the judicial system.

Activists Denounce Prosecution of Ukrainian Gay Newspaper The heads of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission and the European branch of the International Lesbian and Gay Association wrote Ukrainian President Victor Yushchenko and other officials March 20 demanding that the public prosecutor in Kiev drop crimi-

nal charges against the newspaper published by the gay community center Nash Mir. The center is charged with distribution of pornography in violation of Article 301 of the Criminal Code.

"The government should ensure that notions such as public morality are not employed to restrict in a discriminatory manner, any exercise of freedom of opinion and expression that affirms diverse sexual orientations or gender identities," said IGLHRC's Paula Ettelbrick and ILGA's Patricia Prendiville.

They said the case also violates the European Convention on Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms, to which Ukraine is a signatory.

Copenhagen OKs Gay Foster Parents In a first for Denmark, the city of Copenhagen has approved two gay couples as acceptable foster parents, the Copenhagen Post reported March 31.

The couples were placed on a list to offer homes

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to children removed from their own homes by government officials.

"We can't guarantee that the two couples will be used as often as other couples," said Klaus Wilmann of the city's Center for Foster Care. "But we feel that a family consisting of two men or two women can have the same beneficial qualities as any other."

Famously liberal Denmark, which in 1989 became the first country to pass a same-sex registered-partnership law, has nonetheless remained squeamish on issues involving gays and children.

A spokesman for the official Danish Council of Ethics denounced Copenhagen's move as "supporting something abnormal."

"Boys and girls benefit by being raised by a man and a woman," Morten Kvist said.

Ireland Finalizing Partnership Bill Ireland's government is putting the finishing touches on its civil-partnership bill, the Irish Times reported April 1.

It will extend to registered same-sex couples the rights and obligations of marriage in areas such as property, social welfare, succession, alimony, pensions and taxes. Adoption rights will not be included.

Terminating a civil partnership will work the same as divorce: The partners will have to have lived apart for four of the past five years before they can formally split.

The bill also changes how the law treats cohabiting couples who have not entered into a civil partnership or marriage. If they lived together for at least three years (two years, if they have children) and then split, the partners could be on the hook for financial relief if they were economically dependent—in areas such as alimony, property and sharing of pensions.

A recent Lansdowne Market Research poll found that 58 percent of the Irish believe gay couples should have access to civil marriage, and another 26 percent think they should be allowed civil partnerships but denied marriage.

The plan had refused to pay Maruko his late partner's pension, arguing that only married people were covered.

The court said that was direct discrimination that is illegal when the partners "live in a union of mutual support and assistance which is formally constituted for life."

The ruling is relevant to several of the 27 European Union nations that have marriagelike partnership laws for gay couples, including the Czech Republic, Denmark, Germany, Hungary, Sweden, Slovenia and the United Kingdom. Same-sex couples have access to full marriage in Belgium, the Netherlands and Spain.

Chief of Panama's National Police Welcomes Gay Officers The head of Panama's National Police, Rolando Mirones, said April 3 that gays can be police officers as long as they obey regulations, laws and the Constitution while on the job.

Speaking on radio station La Exitosa, Mirones said: "It would be bad to ask a person if he is homosexual or not, because this has nothing to do with his responsibilities.

"I believe that if the person has the moral, ethical, psychological and physical capacity to be a police officer, it doesn't matter what his preference is or what he does at home in his free time, as long as it's nothing illegal."

Justice Minister Daniel Delgado Diamante was not happy with Mirones' remarks.

"I cannot imagine a homosexual policeman and this is a situation that from a personal point of view, I reject completely," he told local media.

Delgado added that National Police regulations prohibit homosexual acts.

Retired Gen. Rubén Darío Paredes also spoke out against Mirones, telling the newspaper Crítica: "At first, I thought…Mirones was joking with the journalists.... I am sure that today, with calm and meaningful reflection, the director perhaps has realized that he made a lamentable slip."

The European Court of Justice ruled April 1 that pension plans must pay out to surviving same-sex partners when the legal partnership is similar to marriage.

The head of the gay group New Men and Women of Panama, Ricardo Beteta, told Crítica that Mirones' statement was "a very important step," but noted that police regulations say that "if the institution discovers that an officer has a gay or lesbian life, it is cause for firing."

The ruling came in the case of Tadao Maruko v. Versorgungswerk der deutschen Bühnen, the pension plan for German theaters.

"So, he should change the regulation that now is the law of the land so that his words truly have value," Beteta said.

Euro Court Extends Pension Rights to Gay Couples

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Int’l

NEWS Old video Embarrasses Canadian MP The New Democratic Party in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan found a 17-year-old videotape recently when it moved into the Opposition offices at the provincial legislature in Regina, and federal Tory MP Tom Lukiwski is highly embarrassed by it.

Saskatchewan federal Tory MP Tom Lukiwski. Photo: lukiwski.ca

On the amateur tape, in which staffers of the Saskatchewan Progressive Conservatives are goofing around for the camera, Lukiwski, who was then the party's general manager, says: "There's A's and there's B's. The A's are guys like me, the B's are homosexual faggots with dirt on their fingernails that transmit diseases."

The tape, recorded the night of the Saskatchewan leaders' debate during the 1991 election, was released to the media by the provincial NDP on April 3.

"If I could take those comments back, I would," Lukiwski said April 3.

"I would give anything to take those comments back. They do not reflect the type of person that I am. I can only say that on behalf of myself, my family and my children, I am sorry. I am ashamed."

In response to the brouhaha, federal opposition MPs urged Prime Minister Stephen Harper to strip Lukiwski of his post as parliamentary secretary in the Conservative caucus.

"The member was 40 years old when he made these hateful remarks," said Liberal MP Scott Brison. "Allowing the member to remain an officer of the House of Commons defaces this institution."

But on April 7, Harper said, "I believe when such apology and remorse is sought from an individual member, the generous and high-minded thing to do is to accept that apology."

Trouble Reported for Gays in Shanghai Too Following reports of a police crackdown on gay men in Beijing, a posting on the Singaporean gay e-mail list SiGNeL said a similar operation is under way in Shanghai.

"Three or four of the major clubs have been closed by the police following raids," the informant said.

"Another one, m7, was visited by the police last Saturday [March 29] and the music stopped at 2 a.m. Not sure if this is a sign of things to come."

Beijing police raided and closed two gay bathhouses on March 20 and 21, according to a report circulated on Asian gay mailing lists by AIDS activists in China and Malaysia.

The March 26 report said the popular gay bathhouse Club Oasis was raided March 20, and 70 patrons and employees were taken into custody.

It said the patrons were released 30 hours later but the staff remained jailed. The report said a second Oasis bathhouse also was raided March 21

and the staff, but not the customers, were taken into custody.

The report also included a list of other recent alleged police actions against gays in Beijing, including a bar raid and temporary closure, raids of cruisy parks, and arrests of sex workers tracked down via their Web postings.

Costa Rica Declares National Day Against Homophobia Costa Rican President Óscar Arias Sánchez and Health Minister María Luisa Ávila have issued an executive decree designating May 17 as National Day Against Homophobia.

It states: "Public institutions must amply disseminate the objectives of this commemoration. They also must facilitate, promote and support activities directed at the eradication of homophobia."

May 17 is the day the World Health Organization removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses, in 1990.

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OPINIONS

TRANSMISSIONS

Thomas Beatie is Pregnant

by Gwendolyn Ann Smith or the last two weeks, the transgender newswire has been abuzz with one story in particular: a transgender man by the name of Thomas Beatie is pregnant. Beatie announced his pregnancy, then six months along, in no less a publication than The Advocate. Beatie’s wife, Nancy, is unable to bear children, so Beatie— who has had chest surgery and has been on testosterone for some time—went off his injections and got pregnant.

F

The story made scores of papers, became an instant hit on talk radio, and even led to a somewhat uncomfortable, if sympathetic interview on Oprah, as well as a decent nod in People magazine.The religious conservatives have spewed their usual

venom on the stories, medical professionals have been trotted out to discuss the potential health issues the child can face and seemingly everyone has had to say something about Thomas and Nancy’s soon-tobe-baby.

The media has had a field day, trotting out images of Arnold Schwarzenegger from the film Junior, using all the wrong pronouns and even the wrong name, showing pre-transition photos of Beatie so people can see what a “sexy babe” he was and claiming that it simply isn’t possible. I won’t even get into how many assumed it a hoax, given the proximity to April first.

Bill O’Reilly considers this pregnancy to be a “tragedy”; Joe Scarbourough considers it “disgusting” and indicative of why 81% of

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the country thinks we’re heading in the wrong direction.

Even late-night talk show host David Letterman called Beatie an “androgynous freak show” and compared him to Michael Jackson during his nightly “Top Ten” list.

Apparently, Letterman forgot that one of his own employees once transitioned while working for him, and Letterman seemed to have no issues at that time.

One group has so far been fairly quiet, and that is the transgender community itself. Those who have spoken out about this have been in the FTM community, with many expressing feelings ranging from discomfort to anger. To some, Beatie’s choice to become pregnant is viewed as some sort of betrayal— that nothing good can come of this.

There may be some truth to this as well. Many transgender people, myself included, have enjoyed a loophole allowing us to be legally married same-sex couples, while others have enjoyed being able to be legally married opposite-sex couples where one or both of the partners went through a gender transition.

The visibility of this case goes against a long-time stance fostered by both the freedom to marry movement and by transgender folks themselves. The case can draw a lot of attention, and even be used to strengthen all those horrid anti-marriage forces There are even those who seem to want to use Beatie’s pregnancy as some way of saying “well, I would never do something like that, so I’m more of a real man than he.” As if there are brownie points to be had for how much “realness” you happen to exude. To me, I fail to see the relevance of how the decision of Thomas and Nancy Beatie to have a child together somehow has a relevance to someone else’s own trans self. We’re all varied creatures on this planet, and not one person need be the same as another in order to be somehow “valid”.

There are a great many people living their lives within my gender who approach both that gender as well as their own transgender nature in very different ways than I do.

Some may be more fluid with gender than I feel comfortable being, while others might be much stricter

in their interpretation of my gender than I would be. That’s fine: It doesn’t change who I know I am, nor does it change how I feel about myself—but I digress.

I can’t look into Beatie’s mailbox, but I know that others who travelled his same path—albeit with less visibility—have faced a great deal of anger and hatred. I know some who have faced death threats for somehow being a traitor to their gender.

This is appalling, particularly from within the community.

That Beatie and others before him have opted to carry a child, for whatever reason, does not change who anyone else is. It doesn’t make me any less of a woman if a transwoman fathers a child, nor does it make any FTM less of a man because Beatie is pregnant. In short, this isn’t about anyone but Thomas Beatie, his wife Nancy and their unborn child.

What is Beatie’s take on his gender and his pregnancy?

“Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am,” Beatie said in The Advocate interview. “In a technical sense I see myself as my own surrogate, though my gender identity as male is constant. To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child—I am so lucky to have such a loving, supportive wife.”

Isn’t this all that matters, when you get down to it? Listen to his words.

This is not changing his gender identity—indeed, many of those who are transgender have known for years that our genders have been fairly solid all our lives, even if our outward appearances might not always fit what we feel inside. Why would this change a life-long identity with a given gender?

I would rather celebrate the Beaties, for finding happiness, and I wish them luck in their future—that their child will be healthy and well, that their family will flourish and that they will not have to endure the court of public opinion any longer than they have to.

Gwendolyn Ann Smith once considered banking some of her own sperm, but decided against it. You can find her on the web at www.gwensmith.com

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Cornel West Calls Obama Out for Dissing King Tribute Most noted was Cornel West, the renowned Princeton University professor, public intellectual and author of the bestseller Race Matters. West is not only one of Obama's strongest supporters, but also one of Obama's political advisers.

Upset that Obama did not pay his respects to the historical significance of the day, West posted his sentiments, "On Obama Not Going to Memphis", on The Huffington Post.

by Rev. Irene Monroe hile presidential hopefuls McCain and Clinton trek to Memphis on April 4th to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., was Obama's absence due to political inconvenience or personal smugness?

W

As the candidate running on a "post-racial" platform that best exemplifies King's "I Have a Dream" speech that hoped this nation would one day "not judge us by the color of our skin, but rather by the content of our character," Obama's absence was troubling to many in the African American community, especially those of the civil rights era.

"I want to say that I'm deeply disappointed that my dear brother Barack Obama decided not to go pay tribute and lay his wreath for the great Martin Luther King, Jr. That brother Martin's profound love and deep sacrifice for black people, America and humanity is in no way reducible to political calculations, even for the campaign for presidency. That Martin Luther King Jr.'s deep commitment to unarmed truth and unconditional love can in no way be subject to strategies for access to political power."

Ouch!

Was this a public backhand slap from West signaling to the public, as well as to Obama, his concerns about Obama's calculated ambitions to the White House?

Or, as many Obama supporters in the African American community are now speculating, is there both a personal and ideological rift between West and Obama?

Given West's prominence and respect in the African American community nationwide, the Obama campaign knows that if West breaks publicly from the campaign he'll take a substantial portion of black voters away from Obama come November (if Obama wins the Democratic nomination).

Having won the majority of African American voters in the Tennessee primary, Obama may have felt he did not need to come back to the state to do face time.

But black talk show radios were abuzz with listeners calling in expressing their disappointment.

Tavis Smiley, one of America's most celebrated and respected media personalities and author of the bestseller, Covenant With Black America, called into the Tom Joyner Morning Show. Smiley asked listeners if Obama's absence was another signal of Obama only courting the African American vote when it is political advantageous for him to do

so. But this charge against Obama by Smiley is not new.

When Smiley invited Obama to this year’s State of the Black Union, an event held annually during Black History Month and broadcast on CSpan, Obama declined but offered to send his wife Michelle. The event gathers a "Who's Who" of black intellectuals, pundits, activists, entertainers and politicians to discuss and brainstorm where black America is and where it is headed. And this year it was held in New Orleans to remind the American public of the Bush administration’s unfinished business with its displaced citizens from Hurricane Katrina. This year’ topic was "Reclaiming Our Democracy, Deciding Our Future." But Obama declined, stating he needed to continue his bid for the presidency. And in an open letter to Tavis Smiley, Barack asked Smiley to reconsider the invitation to let Michelle stand in for him.

"I especially commend you for hosting this dialogue in New Orleans. On the eve of the Louisiana primary, I visited this great city for the fifth time since declaring my candidacy to share policy proposals for rebuilding the Gulf Coast so that we never experience another

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OPINIONS Question: Are We Too Politically Correct?

by Michael K. Lavers s a journalist, commentator and overall observer of the world around me, I sometimes ask whether I am too politically correct. My roommate and some members of my family periodically provide me with an affirmative answer to this question during conversations about politics, current events and other things that happen to dominate headlines on a given day. The question about whether a person (or an organization) is too politically correct, however, is one that extends beyond an individual or entity.

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The movement for LGBT rights arguably tackles with this question on a daily basis as it seeks to expand its collective agenda. Jay Leno's insensitive joke towards actor Ryan Phillippe during a taping of the "Tonight Show" last month, efforts to curb 'homosexual,' 'transvestite' or even 'faggot' in the media or even calls to boycott pundit Ann Coulter, radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh and other (arguably) anti-

LGBT figures from the airwaves are endemic examples of this debate that so often takes place within organizations around the country.

Activists behind these efforts often have the best of intentions: They want to ensure fair, accurate and inclusive images and representations of LGBT people in the media. They feel "faggot" and other anti-LGBT slurs defame, prejudice and even encourage anti-LGBT violence or they feel Coulter and company have had their moments in the sun. But are these efforts actually effective?

This question is not an attempt to distract attention away from the need for people to be held to accountable for their anti-LGBT statements and actions, but it begs us to examine the broader issues associated with it. An observer outside the movement for LGBT rights can arguably conclude that it has become obsessed with political correctness. The examples cited in the previous paragraph, and a plethora of others, could certainly prove this subjunctive hypothesis correct. But yet another question remains as to whether this obsession has produced tangible results beyond the admittedly small sphere that is the movement for LGBT rights. Time will certainly tell.

Michael K. Lavers is a Brooklyn-based journalist and editor whose work has appeared in EDGE Publications, Gay.com, the Fire Island News and other LGBT and mainstream publications across the country. His blog, Boy in Bushwick, can be found at

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IMHO Part One: Looking for Love

ooking for love is a tricky thing. Of course, finding love, in general, is a very tricky thing. And I’m not talking about finding your trick for the night at the 2:15 AM sidewalk sale in front of the Eagle (fill in your city here) or in front of Spiritus Pizza in Provincetown at 1:30 AM. A trick for the night, a quick tumble in the back seat of a car, or a romp in the sand dunes is easy to find. I’m talking about heads over heels (literally, if you’re limber enough), can’t stop

by Mario Fernández thinking about him, can’t wait to see him, can’t wait to fall asleep contentedly in his arms, can’t wait to wake up next to him in the morning, and can’t wait to live the rest of your life with him kind of love.

L

This is a relatively rare thing and you’re lucky if it happens to you 2-3 times in your lifetime. Of course, there are the queens that fall in LOVE every other week. This is not love, ladies. It is its closely related cousin— LUST. Lust exhibits the same symptoms as above, but its effects are temporary, from a few weeks/months to perhaps, at most, 2 years.

This only applies to gay boys. Lesbians, as we know, work under a different set of rules. Different in that lesbians don’t date; they move in together.

While most gay boys struggle to remember their new boyfriend’s name should they get to a second date, lesbians pack up the truck (the one with the gun rack and bumper sticker that says, “Eat more ‘possum”), the cats and the power tools on their way to their second date.

Yeah, I know lesbians and power tools; it’s an easy joke. But I really don’t own power tools. The only power tools that I own are a telephone and a checkbook. That’s all I need. And why you may ask! Because I’m a sissy, that’s why. And proud of it! Being able to fix toilets, repair leaks, caulk tile,

change the oil in your car or change flat tires is downright hetero or lesbian.

Now if you ask me how to decorate, dress trendily, faux paint, arrange flowers, cook gourmet meals, go to the best restaurants, and know where to get the best facial, hot stone massage and bikini wax, well, then I’m your girl. I suppose it’s a left versus right brain kind of thing. I prefer to use the side of my brain that doesn’t make me drag my knuckles on the ground.

And before the lesbians all get riled up, I’m not picking on them! Cultural stereotypes are based on a grain of truth. I am Puerto Rican and I’m very handy with a knife. I’ve got three words for you: West Side Story.

Obviously, not all stereotypes are true. But it’s still fun to make fun of the lesbians because they’re so easily irritated. Perfect example: I was at the Baltimore Pride festival one year, helping man the booth for our gay bowling league. So it was time for me to use the bubble-blowing machine because what’s gayer than a bubble-blowing machine? I go to one of fellow bowlers and say, “Watch me annoy the lesbians.” Not thirty seconds into it, a lesbian couple with a pit bull and baby in stroller (talk about stereotypes) walks by and tells me, “You know, that’s really irritating.”

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. You can find love in the usual places: truckstops, leather bars, airport bathrooms (if you’re a Republican Congressman), libraries, through friends or family, church socials (well, I suppose if I went to church socials, it could happen), Cher concerts, on gay cruises, or straight cruises with a “straight” married man, the bellman at your hotel in Rome, at the movies/supermarket with the barely legal usher/bag boy. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.

Another option is the online services. Now, I’m not going to promote one over the other. But I do want to talk about the process and some of my experiences.

First, everyone online is a complete liar. It’s too easy to add an extra inch to your d**k size. “Well, I was 9” when I was 16!” Yeah, we all were younger, firmer, thinner, harder, longer. Then we turn 30 and gravity is no longer our friend. The erection that you could hang a towel on at 18, now at 40 is something akin to al dente pasta.

If you can deal with the fact that everyone online is a liar, the going is easier. You can actually meet some really cool people. Of course, you can also meet some real creeps. Why would you post a picture that’s 10 years older, 30 pounds ago, with a full head of hair? Did you think that when it came time to meet I wouldn’t notice that you were older, heavier, and balder than your online pictures? Hey, I don’t mind a bit of Photoshop work around the eyes when you’re posting a pic. But let’s be realistic; do not post a pic that looks like it's been shot through a silk scarf or Vaseline.

I could write a book about my experiences looking for love online. In fact. there was the time…

Part 2 of Looking for Love runs May 2.

E-mail Mario at mfernandez@baltimoregaylife.com. Especially if you have a killer cosmo recipe or want to share horribly spoiled, yet always adorable, canine companion stories!

MONROE - continued from page 19

Hurricane Katrina. On February 9, I was deeply humbled to win the Louisiana primary with 86 percent of the African American vote and a 14 point lead among all voters who said they were adversely affected by Hurricane Katrina... I understand that you have declined the campaign's request to have Michelle Obama speak on my behalf. I ask that you reconsider."

But Smiley, like many black New Orleans and now Tennesseans, feel that since Obama has won their votes, he didn't need to show up in their state again.

Obama recognizes, however, that his bid for the presidency is made viable because of the civil rights movement and King, whom he did not have the time to stop for and pay tribute to.

"So don’t tell me I don't have a claim on Selma, Alabama. Don’t tell me I'm not coming home to Selma, Alabama.

I’m here because somebody marched.

I'm here because you all sacrificed for me. I stand on the shoulders of giants," Obama stated in his March 2007 address commemorating the Selma Voting Rights March.

And as this country’s first legitimate black candidate for the White House, "Obama is virtually a third civil rights movement, the manifestation of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream. His candidacy has produced a fervor in black America born of centuries of wanting. Nearly every black vote that Clinton thought was hers at the beginning of the race has been siphoned by Obama,” Darryl Fears stated.

And, in Obama winning our votes, he must also hear and heed to the moral imperative and hurt expressed by West: "I have a very deep disagreement with my dear brother, Barack Obama—in this case, commitment to truth is in tension with the quest for power."

Otherwise, we must wonder: If Obama can diss King, what manner of man do we have here?

A native of Brooklyn, Rev. Irene Monroe is a graduate of Wellesley College and Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University. She served as a pastor at an African American church before a Ford Fellowship took her to Harvard Divinity School for a doctorate.

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ATTENTION Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinions of the GLCCB or Gay Life.

We welcome your letters and opinions. Submissions should include a name, address and phone number for verification and may be edited for content and length. Send submissions by e-mail to editor@baltimoregaylife.com or fax to 410.837.8889 or by mail to Editor, 241 W. Chase Street, Baltimore, MD 21201.

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OPINIONS Playmate, Placeholder, Partner, or Dating? be your date. How do you know if you are a playmate to someone else?

When you want to attend a social event, but the other suddenly develops sociophobia. I recommend staying away from these situations because they can be dangerous, complicated and result in drama.

by David Placher lassifying relationships can be difficult, complex and burdensome, but it is necessary.

When we are in some form of relationship, what factors are essential for accurate classification? How do we evaluate someone’s relationship potential? How do we know the other’s perspective of the relationship? The measuring factor should probably be happiness, selfsatisfaction and mutual agreement.

Most people possess an internal, natural instinct that assists in classifying a relationship into one of four categories: playmate, placeholder, partner or dating.

C

A playmate is defined as someone that is a companion to nightclubs, dinners, bars and other late night encounters. Playmates rarely spend the night, but usually leave at 3 a.m.

A playmate is rarely introduced to friends and neighbors and forbidden from meeting family. The money that is spent on a playmate is very limited and the time that is allocated towards a playmate is minimal. Playmates are always fun to be around and extremely attractive, but commonalities and personality differences are so painstakingly obvious that one would have to be completely blind not to see them. An example of a playmate situation would be when you are at a bar and see a person in their early 20s with someone old enough to be their father, or worse, grandfather.

Playmates need to be aware of their status because a long-term playmate relationship often leads to someone being emotionally hurt and disappointment. How do you know if you have a playmate? When you attend a friend’s party and have no intention or thought of asking the playmate to

A placeholder is defined as someone that is a companion to social events, dinners, and other events. A better description would be a placeholder standing in a pair of lost shoes until the actual owner, the partner, finds them. The introduction of a placeholder to friends, family, and neighbors is not uncommon.

The financial resources spent on a placeholder mirrors the amount spent of a partner. However, the interest that is allocated towards listening to a placeholder is less than a partner. For example, when the person you are with talks about what they want to accomplish in the short-run. you care little about continuing the conversation, but feel obligated to listen. That is probably one sign of many that the person is a placeholder.

Moreover, shared trust must be so overwhelming that the thought of cheating or being dishonest does not enter either’s mind. Both know that any anti-relationship conduct risks placing the partnership into the placeholder category. How do you know if you are in a partnership category? The other’s interests and goals are equally important as yours.

partner status. Just be careful and don’t date too many people at once.

You may develop a reputation in this small community.

David Placher is an attorney. His relationship classification is forever single.

If none of these three categories accurately describes your current situation, you are probably just dating. Dating is defined as getting to know the other person without expectations. Most people find themselves in this situation. Some take this more serious than others.

Some date multiple people at the same time and some date one person at a time. Dating is a positive thing because you know you are not in a playmate situation, unsure if a placeholder category is correct and it’s too premature to discuss the

Moreover, what distinguishes a placeholder from a partner is the internal reservation that is well-fortified and impregnable to the idea that the relationship is going to develop further. The feeling is unexplainable, but forever present. How can you be sure that the person is a placeholder?

You already know! How do you know if the other views you as a placeholder? Regardless of whether you live together or apart, a test would be mentioning the idea of getting a pet and inquiring if there is any interest in raising the pet together.

Raising a pet requires commitment. If the other is against the idea alone, without discussion or compromise, you are probably a placeholder.

A partner is defined as a person that understands there is a mutual relationship, is committed to longevity and realizes honesty is very important. A partnership between two builds on itself. This is evident by one helping the other’s professional career, financial situation, education or anything else deemed important by the other.Financial resources and time are never issues that impede supporting the other’s goal.

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Gay and Lesbian Criminal Justice Professionals from across the World will Gather in DC for Training and Support The Mid-Atlantic Gay Officers Action League (GOAL) will be hosting the 12th Annual International Conference of Gay and Lesbian Criminal Justice Professionals in Washington, DC from May 10-15. The conference will coincide this year with National Police Week, the one week during the year when law enforcement honors fallen officers and raises awareness that every 57 hours a law enforcement officer gives up his or her life.

Like other LGBT Police Organizations, GOAL seeks to promote diversity, acceptance and nondiscrimination of all classes of persons in our communities and within the criminal justice profession. Additionally, it provides a network for education, support and collegiality among gay and lesbian law enforcement officers and other criminal justice professionals.

The conference is sponsored by LEGAL International (Law Enforcement Gays and Lesbians), which grew out of the first annual International Criminal Justice Conference held in New York, in 1994, as part of activities celebrating the 25th anniversary of Stonewall. LEGAL held its first organizing meeting in Chicago, in 1995, and has sponsored an annual conference each year since in various cities, including Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Minneapolis, Miami, Vancouver, San Diego, Key West, West Hollywood, and Providence, RI.

The conference gives gay and lesbian criminal justice professionals the opportunity to meet and interact with others in their field who have faced similar challenges. “It has been great attending training in an atmosphere where I did not have to always be looking over my shoulder, or worrying about what the other officers are talking about…. Gay Police need all the support they can find. I have had two good friends that were gay police that have committed suicide,” explained Scott Gunn, the conference organizer.

In addition to providing networking and training opportunities in a welcoming and affirming environment, this year’s conference has a stellar line-up of workshops and speakers. The Center for Homicide research will present sessions on GLBT Homicides; the William's Insitute from the UCLA School of Law will present on hate crimes; the Metropolitan Police Department’s Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit will offer sessions on Gay Liaison Officers from around the world; and the DC Chapter of the Concerns of Police Survivors will speak on police suicide and other traumatic events. Key note speakers include David O’Malley, retired Chief of Police that handled Matthew Shepard’s murder investigation and Matthew’s mother, Judy Shepard.

Officers from Canada, Australia, England, Amsterdam, Italy and across the United States have registered for the conference, which continues to grow each year. “I think there is an absolute need for this conference,” stated Gunn.

“Every year it amazes me to find officers that never knew a conference like this existed.”

The 12th Annual International Conference of Gay and Lesbian Criminal Justice Professionals will be held at George Washington University Conference Center (800 21st St., NW, Washington, DC 20052. For additional information or to register for the conference, visit www.midatlanticgoal.org.

DC Youth Pride Largest Area LGBTQA Youth Event he 12th annual Youth Pride Day, organized by the Youth Pride Alliance (YPA), is set for Saturday, May 3, 12-5 p.m., in P Street Beach (also known as Rock Creek Park) at P and 23rd Sts., NW, Washington, D.C. Having drawn over 3,000 youth in past years, YPA anticipates another successful year of fun and education. Gay Life spoke with YPA President, Tyrone Hanley, about the mission of YPA and the rapidly approaching Youth Pride Day 2008.

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Additionally, there will games playing throughout the day. We are proud that Youth Pride Day is the largest LGBTQA youth event in the area!

What is the primary mission of YPA? Youth Pride Alliance is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization for LGBTQA youth empowerment to encourage positive self-development and expression, as well as leadership, while bridging diverse communities and individuals to address issues of visibility, equality and social justice. We are dedicated to celebrating the dignity and courage of all young people

YPA is involved with other LGBT youth events throughout the year.

What activities and events are scheduled for this coming year?

After the festival on Youth Pride Day, we will be holding our annual youth dance, Infatuation, at the Josephine Butler Parks Center from 6-9:30 p.m. Also, YPA is working to host or co-sponsor at least one LGBTQA youth event every month.

Upcoming events include a youth dance for Black Pride, a youth tent at DC’s Capitol Pride and Night Out at the Nationals.

What can attendees look forward to at this year's Youth Pride celebration?

Attendees can look forward to a diverse range of LGBT and nonLGBT local and national organizations as well as a great stage program with speakers and performers. www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • P A G E 2 5

Given that YPA is an entirely volunteer-led nonprofit, does the organization still need volunteers for this year's Pride festivities?

We are still looking for volunteers for Youth Pride Day. If someone is interested in volunteering for Youth Pride Day, he or she can contact Youth Pride Alliance Board Member Robin Wood at robinjwood@gmail.com.

For additional information, visit www.youthpridealliance.org.

CALENDAR COMMUNITY

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Friday April 18 Brothers of Baraza

Men of Color Discussion Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7:30-9 p.m.

Denise Peachey (akaGypsy) w/ guest Chester Chandler Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/ readstreetbooks 8 p.m.

Saturday April 19 Arts & Crafts

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 4:30-6 p.m.

Movie & Game Night Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-8:30 p.m.

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www.thespiraldancebookstore.com 10 a.m.

Sunday April 20

Beginners Yoga with Tim Hurley, RYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 3:30 p.m.

Narcotics Anonymous Sunday Men’s Rap GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.na.org 11:30 a.m.

Sailaway Pride Night Weather Rail Bar Loews Hotel 126 West St. Annapolis, MD 5-9 p.m.

Social Activity (Varies) Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 1-6 p.m.

Monday April 21

Alcoholics Anonymous New Image (Narcotics Anonymous) LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6-7:30 p.m.

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.aa.org 8:30 p.m.

Ron Morris

PFLAG Columbia/ Howard County

Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/ readstreetbooks 8 p.m.

Parent Forum Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way Columbia, MD 7:30-9 p.m.

Sufficient As I aM (SAIM) Youth & Young Adults 24 & Under GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 12:30 p.m.

Work Day @ Spiral Dance Womyn’s Center 2505 E. Oliver St. Baltimore, MD 21213

Tuesday April 22

Alcoholics Anonymous LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30 - 7:30 p.m.

Dual Recovery Anonymous Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St.

Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Thursday April 24

Alcoholics Anonymous

Chesapeake Squares Club Square Dance Waxter Center 1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.chesapeakesquares.org 8-10 p.m.

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.aa.org 8:30 p.m.

Consumer Planned Activity

Location TBD Hagerstown, MD www.communitytriangle.com 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 4-6:30 p.m. & 7:30-8:30 p.m.

Positive Influence LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Wednesday April 23

Beginners’ Yoga with Kelly D. McClain, CYT

Community Triangle Dinner Out

JUMP (Just Us Making Progress) Confidential HIV Support Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7-8:30 p.m.

Support Group for Individuals with Mental Health Issues

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 7:15 p.m.

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Gay Bingo (to benefit GLCCB & Aids Action)

Trans-United

Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-547-0069 8:30 p.m.

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6-8 p.m.

Power Inside Women’s Rap

Women of Color Group

Power Inside Office 325 E. 25th St., 1st floor Baltimore, MD 21218 3-4:30 p.m.

Rapscallion Radical Art Collective 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 http://www.rapscallionart.org 7 p.m.

‘Tini Lounge Happy Hour GG’s Restaurant & Martini Bar 41 N. Potomac St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 4:30-10:00 p.m.

GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 7:30 p.m.

Friday April 25

Katie Pearlsman Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/ readstreetbooks 8 p.m.

Phil Roy w. Patty Reese Live @ Coffee East 5 Goldsborough St. Easton, MD 21601 443-786-2750 8 p.m.

Pride in the Arts Home: New Work by Callandra S. Cook GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 6-9 p.m.

Saturday April 26

GIG: Baltimore TransMasculine Alliance GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.myspace.com/btma 6 p.m.

GIG: Tran*quility GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.transworld.org 8 p.m.

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.na.org 11:30 a.m.

Sailaway Pride Night Weather Rail Bar Loews Hotel 126 West St. Annapolis, MD 5-9 p.m.

Social Activity (Varies) Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 1-6 p.m.

Monday April 28 Men Like Me

Open Support Group GLCCB, Room 202 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 menlikeme@glccb.org 6 p.m.

Tuesday April 29

Alcoholics Anonymous LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Harford Rainbow Society

Dual Recovery Anonymous

Trip to New Jersey Cowtown Flea Markets harfordrainbow@gmail.com

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Kirk Philips Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/ readstreetbooks 8 p.m.

Movie & Game Night Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-8:30 p.m.

New Image (Narcotics Anonymous) LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6-7:30 p.m.

Brothers of Baraza

Sufficient As I aM (SAIM)

Men of Color Discussion Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7:30-9 p.m.

Youth & Young Adults 24 & Under GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 12:30 p.m.

Sunday April 27

Narcotics Anonymous Sunday Men’s Rap

Chesapeake Squares Club Square Dance Waxter Center 1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.chesapeakesquares.org 8-10 p.m.

Consumer Planned Activity Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 4-6:30 p.m. & 7:30-8:30 p.m.

Positive Influence LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Rainbow Youth Alliance Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way Columbia, MD 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday April 30

PA G E 2 6 • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

Beginners’ Yoga with Kelly D. McClain, CYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 7:15 p.m.

Gay Bingo (to benefit GLCCB & Aids Action) Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-547-0069 8:30 p.m.

‘Tini Lounge Happy Hour GG’s Restaurant & Martini Bar 41 N. Potomac St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 4:30-10:00 p.m.

Thursday May 1

Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.aa.org 8:30 p.m.

JUMP (Just Us Making Progress) Confidential HIV Support Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7-8:30 p.m.

Support Group for Individuals with Mental Health Issues Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle Street Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Women of Color Group GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 7:30 p.m.

Confidential HIV/STI Testing & Counseling GLCCB TTuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 5-8 p.m.

241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-5445

HERO Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday 9 a.m.-1 p.m., 2-4 p.m.

Thursday 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

1734 Maryland Avenue Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-1180

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FILM Ebony Chunky Love: Johns Hopkins Film Festival Features Documentary on Gay African-American Comic Keith Price Radio's gay channel, OUT Q: [as cohost of a morning show]. However, while still moving up in the comedy ranks, any one of those identities can keep you out of many a comedy showcase or club . If you add being overweight, then "faget about it!" I actually address one of my most memorable "obstacles" in the movie.

Now you have to come see it.

The title alone lets the audience know that you're going to make them laugh. What else do you want people to take away?

Keith Price The 2008 Johns Hopkins Film Festival, April 17-April 20, will feature Ebony Chunk Love: Bitch Can't Get a Date. Directed by Lonnie Tristan Renteria, the documentary focuses on the personal and professional struggles of gay African American comedian Keith Price. The film explores issues of popular culture, class and racism in the gay community through stand-up clips, interviews and scholarly commentary. Price will in attendance on Sunday, April 20 at 3 p.m. in Shriver Hall, and lead a Q & A after the screening.

How did you become interested in the comedy business and where did you get your start?

Well, my sister says that I have been a fool since we were kids, so I guess the career chose me. While in college back in Austin Texas, I decided to try stand-up comedy after having my family, friends and coworkers constantly told me I should try it, AND after seeing a comic bomb on Johnny Carson. I took Sam Cox's Comedy Gym Showcase class, and along the way I performed improvisational comedy, theater and cabaret.

Radio found me as well.

Black. Gay. Honduran. What are some of the obstacles you have encountered?

I have a bit of safety, in a sense, because I work on SIRIUS Satellite

The process of making this movie really made me look at the impact of the things that I say on other people.

It doesn't matter how different you may think that you are from me (black, gay, Honduran, and chunky), there is something to which you can still relate, and it may not have anything to do with any of those identities. Honestly, I did my one man show because I was mad at my father. It was a discussion, probably over some Chardonnay, about my material amongst the academics and Lonnie Renteria, the director, that is the film.

Have any particular individuals inspired or influenced you?

For performance, Flip Wilson, Paul Mooney and Phyllis Diller.

Professionally, Ruth Gentle for instilling her work ethic: "Do your job!"; Larry Flick for daily lessons and friendship; Bobby Rivers for taking the punches first, and like Elaine Stritch, still here; Joan Rivers for helping me deal with loss.

Personally, [among others] my parents for loving their gay son....

If a bitch could get a date with anyone, who would it be?

Am I stuck with only one? For a husband? Christopher Meloni. For dancing dates? Either Jason Taylor or Christian De La Fuente. In a utopia, they would ALL be me husbands.

For additional information about the film, visit http://www.myspace.com/ebonychunkylove. For information about Johns Hopkins 2008 Film Festival, visit http://www.hopkinsfilmfest.com. www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • P A G E 2 7

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DINING OUT P.F. Chang’s China Bistro

By John Cullen and Marty Shayt he P.F. Chang’s China Bistro chain has opened (finally!) a restaurant in Baltimore (up until now, the nearest branch was in Columbia). Located on Pratt Street across from the Inner Harbor, sandwiched between the new very pricey and upscale Capital Grille steak house and Fogo de Chão Brazilian restaurant. P.F. Chang’s dining room has an upscale and sophisticated feeling with tall ceilings full of Asian-style lamps shedding a wash of muted golden light over the tables and highlighting large Asian murals and pieces of art.

If you weren’t familiar with other P.F Chang’s, you’d be guessing that the menu would be as pricey and expensive as its upscale neighbors.

In contrast, entrée choices are in the $8-15 range. The P. F. Chang’s dining room may look expensively elegant, but the prices are reasonable (and the food is good)!

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An enthusiastic young blond waitress welcomes us (dashing Marty’s hope of getting to flirt with one of the waiters!). She starts our dinner with the standard Chang’s ritual of bringing over glass vials of chili sauce, soy sauce and vinegar and offers to fix a custom sauce for us.

There’s a lot to pick from on the menu and it takes us awhile to make up our minds, even though we’re familiar with the menu from other P. F. Chang locations. We order a bowl of “Hot and Sour” Soup ($6) to share. The bowl of soup that arrives is HUGE and has a lid to keep the soup hot. The soup is very good, both heartily hot AND sour, and full of pieces of bean curd, chicken, mushroom and bamboo that leave a pleasant tang on our tongues. By the time we’re done, we’ve ladled out the equivalent of what would be 4-5 “cups” of soup at many restaurants!

With small “cups” of soup priced at many other restaurants at $3-6, this is a delicious bargain that has made P.F. Chang’s a favorite!

Another appetizer, vegetarian lettuce wraps, includes a tasty mix of tofu, red onion, mint, water chestnuts and lime for you to create your own wrap in pieces of crisp fresh lettuce. The taste and texture is both

interesting and appealing. (Chang’s offer a version with chicken instead of tofu if that’s what you prefer.)

Entrees arrive as visually and aromatically appealing as we’re used to from other P.F. Chang’s. Marty’s “Double Pan Fried Noodles with Shrimp” arrives heaped on a large plate looking like a Chinese pasta feast with loads of noodles in a brown sauce, a generous portion of shrimp and a smattering of stir fried veggies. It’s not spicy enough for Marty’s taste, so he spoons on the special sauce the waitress mixed up for us earlier.

John opts to take advantage of the large number of vegetarian entrees and decides on something new, “Coconut Curry Vegetables”. P.F. Chang’s offers you brown rice as well as the standard steamed white rice, so John opts for the chewier and (allegedly!) healthier brown. The plate is piled high with stir fried veggies and grilled tofu in a tasty sauce.

The sauce may not taste heavily of coconut, but John’s plate looks mighty clean by the time he’s done!

A friend tries the “Ground Chicken with Eggplant” and says it’s “incredible”. We’ve also tried Mongolian Beef and Wok Seared Lamb in the past and would order them both again.

Our waitress almost succeeds in tempting us with a list of desserts (including some “mini” desserts), but we’ve eaten too much to consider anything other than the fortune cookies that she gives us. (If our fortune predicted “you will return to order another bowl of hot & sour soup”, it would probably be right on target!)

Basics: P.F. Changs China Bistro (Inner Harbor), 600 E. Pratt Street, (410) 649-2750, www.pfchangs.com; Open 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. MondayThursday, 11 a.m.-Midnight on Friday & Saturday. It’s a lovely dining room, the food and service are very good and the prices are reasonable. Making reservations ahead of time could be a good idea if you don’t like waiting for a table!

Do you have feedback or know a place we need to check out? Email us at diningout@baltimoregaylife.com.

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Illustration by Sydnei SmithJordan, adversecreations@yahoo.com

FICTION Cereal: The Adventures of Pico Darling

by SIR. Robinson I bet Heather Heels could dunk a basketball on a regulation (read men’s) hoop if she really wanted to.

Sitting across from her in a limousine, I studied the length of her legs stretched out in front of me and decided she could probably definitely do it.

“Just give me onnnnee second,” she softly slowly said to me from behind a twice folded newspaper cupped in one hand in front of her face. She held a pen, which she used to write onto the paper, in the other.

I replied with a silent and concentrated scrutiny of the hand that fisted the paper. The fingers were long and thick, with girth. The nails meticulously shaped and polished. She could do it, no problem, I thought.

Suddenly, she started to sing in soprano along with the song surrounding us, which I hadn’t noticed until then. “Who’s that peakin’ in my window/ POW!/ Nobody now.” Not so loud, though. She tapped the beat with her foot, the size of which, I decided, was perfectly proportionate to that of her hands. She wrote again on the paper.

I tried to relax so I started to rap the next verse softly along with her. I copied her foot tapping. “Me and my family into our apartment complex/ a gate with a serial code was put up next,” in unison.

Heather Heels, upon hearing me, peeked around her newspaper, eyes all big, and smiled at me. Then pushing the paper back in front of her face, “Seriously, just….I’m just almost done.

Okay, hold on…three…two …one. I’m DONE!” And she flung the pen and paper across the length of the car. It landed next to me. She had scribbled little stars all along the margins, drawn so close together that if I tilted my head a bit they looked like pubes.

“Do you Sudoku?”

“Umm… sometimes. On occasion, I guess. Not really….” I swallowed hard and gazed at the number puzzle of which, I assumed, she had just completed. “But if I finish the crossword, I may check it out, I’m bad at it.

I just don’t get it.” I played with the edges of the paper, excited that it had just been in her hands because I, of course, had been obsessed with Heather Heels since the fourth grade.

“Its logic. Like, there were 10 pieces of fruit at the party—Jim brought 3 pears—Jan hates apples—So does James, but he brought 1 anyway— How many oranges were at the party? Something like this. It’s very satisfying. To Sudoku. Anyway, hi!”

“Hi.” “I’m Heather.”

“Right.” (Read “Yes, you certainly are.”)

“You’re Pico.”

“I am.” (Read “I am the luckiest mother*cker on the planet.”)

“So, here we are.”

“Yes.” (Read “Shall we get down to f*cking?”)

Silence. Then, “You don’t mind if I just…” and she reached under her seat for a oversized duffle bag and started to pull clothes from it. “I just rushed over to get you from the set of this thing that I had to wake up really early and get all gussied up for, so I brought my play clothes with me.”

“Okay.”

“So, we’re gonna play at my place.

Is that okay?” Before I could answer, she slid out of her pants. I looked down at the floor, I stared into my hands, I looked out the tinted window to my left trying to avoid looking at Heather Heels’ lavender sateen covered crotch. “Maybe I should get out or something so you can…um…dress…yeah….”

She pulled on a different pair of pants lifting her ass a few inches off the seat and then back down.

“Oh, no. I’m fine. Your fine? I’m fine. I will be super fast, promise.”

She grabbed the knit top she was wearing from its bottom edge and yanked it vigorously from her body tossing it into the bag.

Imagine Heather Heels. Of Let’s Dance fame. With the water and the spotlight and the leg warmers and the big dog and the curly bangs. Yes, her. Who’s on that show now. About the dykes. The tall one. Yes, her.

Imagine her. Heather Heels. Sitting across from you in a limo. Topless.

Now snap out of it! “…So he sent me this lovely letter saying that he and Danger…? Wait.

Yeah, Danger Mouse covered the song from the scene where I’m, like, doing the running man, ugh! You know, like, ‘Maniac, Maniac’, ” she sings. “And I’m all, ‘I don’t really know what I have to do with it,’ but he wrote this beautiful letter wanting to know if I wanted to be in the video. And I’m like, ‘No,’ and he understands why and how the misogyny and racism alone in response to that film almost murdered me, but he was just really sweet, so now I am obsessed with him. I Googled him and found out about his solo stuff and then I found Goodie Mob and I’m just obsessed.”

“Um humm.” (Read, “The song, Pico. She’s talking about the song.

Pay attention, damn it.”)

“You’re so cute over there. I’m not going to bite you, I swear. I get like this, all chatty, when I’m sleepy. So excuse me.”

“Oh, its okay. I think it’s great. I mean…uhh…I think you’re great. I mean… you’re….uhh…okay…I think I’m really sleepy too.” (Read, “Change the subject quick, you dumb ass.”) So I said, “You know Cee-Lo?” “Yes and he is amazing. I’m obsessed with him.”

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“That’s funny. I thought you’d be into Tom Waits or somebody like that.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing…nothing,” (read, “Idiot!”) Turning the subject again, “I am assuming you know Asha too?”

“I do.”

“And I was never going to Chicago to see her…”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I was always coming to LA to see you…”

“I wouldn’t think Sudoku would be so hard for you.”

“Because…?”

“Because…”

“Because…?

Now, again, fully dressed in a tshirt that reads I’d rather be outside and sweeping her hair back into a ponytail, she said “Think of this as your second interview.”

Heather Heels’ hotel suite is like a puzzle museum. Lackadaisically giving me a tour, she pointed out her 1000-piece jigsaws, her Rubik’s cube collection, her stacks of word-search continued on page 30

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QPUZZLE "P-ness Envy"

books, the kind you get at the grocery store check out. All of them complete or nearly. She dashed off bits of information about each collection, saying that she had more, a lot more, at her home. I nodded my head in earnest to project my genuine interest in what she said.

“Are you hungry? I’m hungry.” she asked at the end of the tour.

“Very,” I replied.

“Well, there’s bacon,” she hollered from behind the fridge door.

Standing up to catch me fiddling with a push-piece puzzle in the corner, she seemed embarrassed by the limited offering, quickly adding, “You can order anything you want from downstairs, though. There’s a menu somewhere. Just call down and they’ll bring it up.”

“Is there lettuce and tomato? I could make us BLTs.” She got wide-eyed again, “That would be magnificent.”

The cooking gave me something to do with my hands allowing me to exhaust some of my nervous energy.

Heather had brought out a new 500piece box and sat at a large table picking and sorting and assembling. The hysteria between us subsided a bit.

Across

Down

1 Advocate cover, often 6 Overture to a split end?

10 Like sex with a dam 14 Maria's "do" equivalent 15 Geoffrey of Frida 16 Heartbreaker for a big, hairy male 17 Aide to Mark Foley?

20 Marilyn Monroe's two big ones 21 The bottom line 22 A man's man, and others 23 Pull a fast one 24 Take off your clothes 25 What a cowboy shoots off 28 Show bottom 29 Sex, crudely 32 Plath poetry collection 33 One in bondage 34 And others, for Caesar 35 Six Feet Under as a sitcom?

38 Cock attachment 39 Avoids family cooking, with "out" 40 Scarlett O'Hara, e.g.

41 Second pitches for Copland 42 What a computer may spit out 43 De-Lovely subject Cole 44 Opera solos 45 "In the ___" (Village People hit) 46 Hello at Beth Simchat Torah 49 Tops 50 Threesome for Caligula 53 Gasps during a blow job?

56 River of da Vinci's land 57 Sweet opening?

58 Uranian, for example 59 Goes out with 60 "Leave that alone!" at the Washington Blade 61 Like bell-bottom jeans

1 Superman accessory 2 Wax-covered balls from Holland 3 Staying power, in Variety 4 Shrek's shoe size, perhaps 5 Vegetable with a head 6 Rainbow maker 7 Em, e.g.

8 IRS info 9 "Beat it!"

10 Peachy but not fruity 11 Minnesota governor Carlson 12 It may be cold and hard 13 Bette Davis feature of song 18 Offspring of a stallion 19 Columnist Herb 23 Arrow shaft 24 Sweaters at a sauna 25 Dallas Voice, for example 26 Like an ACT UP protester 27 River deposits 28 Fire director Deepa 29 Not erect 30 Rimbaud's room 31 More like the Family Stone 33 Chat room request 34 What 36-Down may use on her nails 36 Drag queen?

37 Better than average, except in Sheehan's sport 42 The Almighty, to Arenas 43 Material for Philip Johnson's Glass House 44 Chorus butches 45 Defensively successful, in Glenn Burke's sport 46 Sites for three women in a tub 47 Bugs Bunny's Broadway musical?

48 Hathaway of _The Devil Wears Prada_ 49 Where not to look, in a Melissa Etheridge song 50 Pt. of B.D. Wong 51 Caligula's way 52 "There ___ there there" (Gertrude Stein) 54 Where to find gay.com 55 Heady stuff

“Why?”

CEREAL - continued from page 29

After a good 10 minutes of silent tasking, she said, “You really didn’t know you were coming here?”

“I swear I didn’t,” I told her. “This whole thing has been nuts. I feel like I’m hallucinating or like my friend Ce Ce is playing a really good joke on me.”

“I know Ce Ce.” “You do?!?!”

“Yeah, she’s great!”

“She is, isn’t she? How do you know her?”

“I’m the screener, I told you.

I screen.”

“You select Asha’s whores for her?”

“No! And you don’t have to be so f*cking crass about it. I don’t arrange anything. My friends just think I am a good judge of character, so they send people my way to screen them.

To judge their loyalty and discretion.

To see if they would mesh well with a particular lifestyle.”

“Like a fluffer?”

“Um, no!” She laughed. “Asha and I go way back. I’m from Chicago and her show was local then. She tried to seduce me into sleeping with her from the moment we met.”

“Did she succeed?”

“No, she never has and she never will.”

“I’m straight. I tell her that all the time, but she doesn’t believe me or respect that.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

A thoughtful pause.

“I’m married. I have kids. I’m happy…. That reminds me. I’ll be right back,” and she sauntered away from the table and into a back room.

I assembled the B, the L, and the T into two sandwiches. I could hear faraway cackling. I set the sandwiches down on the table and walked to an outdoor space where the scene of a bright lit city below and the picture of a perfect full moon above dueled one another for the title of most beautiful view. I hadn’t had a cigarette since the east coast so I huffed and puffed that thing in what seemed like no time. When I got back inside, I heard someone crying.

I wandered through two big rooms until finally I reached the room into which Heather had disappeared minutes before. I knocked and entered at the same time. Heather was in a ball on the bed, TV flickering quietly in front of her. A cell phone nearby.

“Heather, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” I was ready to die for her, to give my life to make right whatever had just gone wrong.

“Pico, I’m just exhausted. I miss my babies and I’m in here like an idiot crying about it.” She wiped a tear.

I didn’t know what to do. “Will BLTs make you feel better?” I offered.

She nodded her head yes, lip poking out, like a 5 year old.

I hot-stepped it to the kitchen to retrieve the plates. I scurried back, kicking off my shoes before I got through the bedroom door. “You, know, I’m actually not that hungry,” I lied. “You can have mine too, if….”

She was asleep, under covers. I set the plates on the small table next to the bed. I tiptoed, wincing my face, trying to make it back to the door without sound. She stirred, “No, stay.” She reached back and touched the empty space behind her.

Imagine yourself. Yes, you. Taking the last bite of the best BLT you ever had in your whole life. While watching your favorite episode of A Different World. In a big comfy bed.

Heather Heels is asleep. Her ass is touching your thigh.

What do you do?

Want to see Pico go places you’ve only dreamed of? Send your thoughts to picodarling@gmail.com. This serial will

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PENCIL ME IN

Friday, April 25 Home: New Work by Callandra S. Cook The GLCCB’s Pride in the Arts Program will feature the works of local artist Callandra S. Cook. With wine and appetizers catered by Café Boheme, individuals can enjoy a drink and a conversation with the artist at the opening reception from 6-9 p.m. A portion of the proceeds from purchase of the work will benefit GLCCB programs and services. For additional information, call 410-837-5445.

Saturday April 19 – Monday April 21 Miss Gay Maryland America 2008 It’s finally time to crown Miss Gay Maryland 2008.

The weekend of events will kick off on April 19 with Miss Gay Maryland in Review in Club Hippo’s Video Bar (1 W. Eager St., Baltimore, MD). This show will feature Miss Gay Maryland 2007 winner Akasha Cassadine and former Miss Gay America Mikaila Kay. The preliminary pageant starts at 7 p.m. sharp on Sunday, April 20. Ten contestants will compete in talent and evening gown as they vie for the title of Miss Gay Maryland 2008. The suspense comes to a head on Monday, the final night, featuring Akasha’s Masquerade Ball. For tickets and additional information, visit www.missgaymaryland.com.

Tuesday April 22nd Complementary Therapies: Optimizing your Mental Health Hearts & Ears invites community members to attend a free public education forum. They will explore therapeutic massage, acupuncture, and other mind/body therapies as ways to enhance your mental health.

The forum begins at 6:30 p.m. at the Hearts & Ears Drop-in Center (10 W. Biddle St., Baltimore, MD). For additional information or to make a reservation (no later than Monday, April 21), call 410-528-0444.

Thursday, April 24

State University Counseling Center, will hold its annual Take Back the Night Rally at the MSU Student Union Theatre (1700 E. Cold Spring Ln.) beginning at 6:30 p.m. The evening will include a forum to discuss how domestic violence and sexual assault affect our lives and communities, as well as opportunities to listen to survivors and recognize those who have been silenced. A candle-lit march will follow. For additional information, visit www.hruth.org.

Saturday, April 26 Tulips at the Temple: Chase Brexton Gala Chase Brexton Health Services will celebrate its 30th Anniversary with a gala at the Scottish Rite Masonic Center (3800 N. Charles St.) from 7 p.m. until midnight. Derek Valcourt of WJZ 13 will emcee the evening, which will include a live and silent auction, plus dancing, hors d’oeuvres and cocktails. All proceeds from the event will benefit the Care Fund of Chase Brexton, which provides quality health care to individuals and families unable to pay for services. For tickets ($150/person) and additional information, visit www.chasebrexton.org or call 410-752-0954 ext. 4015.

Paula Poundstone @ The Birchmere Comedian Paul Poundstone brings her offbeat wit and comedic brilliance to the Birchmere in Alexandria, VA (3701 Mt. Vernon Ave.). She will also be available after the show to personally autograph copies of her book There’s Nothing in this Book that I Meant to Say. For tickets ($39.50) and additional information, visit www.birchmere.com or call 800-551-7328.

Take Back the Night Rally and March House of Ruth Maryland, in partnership with Morgan

www.glccb.org

Services. Groups. Events.

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no one else has.

“The Facts of Life”

Equality Forum 2008 Features the Works of Legendary Photographer Duane Michals INTERVIEW BY MADDY DWERTMAN

N

oted for his innovation and artistry, Duane Michals has been defying convention in the photography world for nearly fifty years.

Largely self-taught, Michals’ first exhibition was held in 1963 at the Underground Gallery in New York. For a number of years, he worked in commercial photography for publications including Esquire, Mademoiselle and Vogue. Combining images and text while blurring the boundaries between photography and philosophy, Michals has produced a truly unique body of work over the course of his career. Now in his 70s, he continues to exhibit in museums and galleries across the United States and Europe.

Equality Forum 2008 will feature Duane Michals’ work in an exhibit, “The Facts of Life,” which includes a number of politically-driven works that explore issues of sexuality and identity as well as a collection of portraits of gay authors, artists and photographers. Michals will also be giving a free lecture presentation on Wednesday, April 30, at 2 p.m. at the Elaine C. Levitt Auditorium (401 S. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA).

Gay Life had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Michals about his legendary career.

You’ve been in the photography world for nearly fifty years. What initially sparked your interest in photography?

I was originally a graphic designer.

50 years ago, when I was 26, I went

to Russia with a borrowed camera, and the trip changed my life. When I got back from Russia, the photographs were so good, that I found out I was a natural. I found that photography suited me. I found my thing. I didn’t go looking for it. It just happened.

In the early sixties what I was doing was completely against the paradigm of what photography was.

Photography then could be documentary, portraiture, reportage...but it was always based on observations of reality. What I did was change what was being observed from that definition of reality to include my dreams, my fears, my desires. To me, all of those things that you really can’t see were the real subjects of photography Decisive moments were also held reign as what photography could do. I originated sequential photography by expanding the moment into a middle, beginning and end.

Being an empiricist, I believe that direct experience is the only true knowledge. I realized that I was life and I didn’t have to go looking for it.

I worked out of the truth of my own reality instead of other people’s lives.

My style has evolved over the years.

I started out doing portraits when I went to Russia. Then I began doing sequences. Then I began to write and include text with my photographs.

Have any particular photographers or artists influenced or inspired your work?

I never went to photography school. I have done commercial work although I’ve never had a studio or the trappings of being a business. But, I have also always exhibited my work and I’ve published over 20 books with 3 coming out this year.

My role models are not in photography. My sources are in the painting and writing worlds. Magritte, whom I went to Brussels and photographed...Balthus. Both are surrealists who are very much about contradiction and questioning reality instead of reproducing reality. The principles involved in their work also influence mine. Photographers tell you want you already know. I don’t need to tell you what you already know. I contradict your ideas and make you questions what you really know.

Your work has always defied convention.

How is your sexuality reflected in your work?

Yes. Because I never learned photography rules, I have always done what I wanted. I have a unique point-of-view in photography that

When I do my work, it’s not about anatomy like many gay photographs that are just catalogs of cocks. It’s about the realities of being gay.

Homosexuality is just like heterosexuality, except it’s different.... [I]t is about the legitimacy of affection between people of the same gender as well as the opposite gender. The only difference is that the one gender produces children as a result of their union.

I have a photograph called “The Unfortunate Man” of a nude guy bending backward toward the camera with his back towards the wall.

On his hands are shoes. The text says “The unfortunate man could not touch the one he loved. It had been declared illegal by the law. Slowly his fingers became toes and his hands gradually became feet. He began to wear shoes on his hands to disguise his pain. It never occurred to him to break the law.”

This type of work has never gotten to press as easily as the splashy, market-driven photography that gets more attention.

Will some of these photographs be exhibited at Equality Forum?

Yes. The entire exhibit will be my gay pieces.I have shown these pieces in the past, but not together.

Are you still actively producing new work?

I am doing more work than ever and it’s all brand new work. I have been doing Japanese fan pictures. In France, at the turn of the century, there was a great interest in things Japanese and many artists, such as Gougan, did fan-shaped paintings.

Photos are always square or rectangle because that is what the camera produces. Now, I’m doing fan-shaped photographs, which is unprecedented in American photography.

I’ll be doing a lot of traveling.

Saint-Laurent is giving me a major retrospective. I’m traveling to Greece, Verona and Moscow for exhibits. In Brussels, The Magritte Foundation is also giving me a permanent exhibit in the museum.

For additional information about Equality Forum 2008 events, visit www.equalityforum.com.

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MUSIC Hide & Seek: Baltimore Men’s Chorus Ready for Spring Cabaret What is the mission of Baltimore Men’s Chorus?

The Baltimore Men’s Chorus (BMC) is a group of gay men who have a lot of fun together, socialize and do things outside of the chorus.

We originally grew out of an alternative for going to the bar scene and it still functions as that for people today.

The longest-standing gay chorus n Baltimore, we will celberate our 25th anniversary in 2009. One man, Ron Meyers, has stayed with the chorus all of these years.

How can someone become a member of the chorus?

BMC is a growing chorus with 20 members who range in age from their 20s to their 60s. You don’t have to be an accomplished singer to join the chorus. Some members have degrees in music or strong musical backgrounds. But, we have a great accompanist, Don Huber, and a

wonderful director, Tony Bianca, who has been with us for over 5 years. Tony is a great teacher, so we can also teach people to be choral singers. And, our audition process is not rigorous.

Each year in August, we have a meeting for people who would like to join the chorus. We also bring new members in the first Sunday after the New Year in January.

Your spring cabaret is only a few weeks away.

Yes. The theme this year is “Hide & Seek”. Our audience will find this year’s cabaret surprisingly different from the past, in that we’re combining Broadway music with a more diverse selection of pop music. We’re looking forward to sharing the music with the community. This year, it will be an interspersing of the choral music we’ve learned this season and people singing solo pieces. This is also the first year of actually having a silent auction.

Stephen Johnson, board treasurer, and Scott Chapman, board president What other annual concerts does Baltimore Men’s Chorus have?

concert for South Baltimore Relief Services on June 8.

We have two primary concerts each year—a holiday concert in early December and the spring cabaret in May.

You mentioned that members also participate in activities outside of the chorus.

In addition, we sing at Baltimore Pride and we’ve really found our audience among gay-oriented organizations, such as PFLAG Columbia or CenterStage’s Night Out. The teens at Rainbow Youth Alliance in Rockville need support to hold a dance so we’re going to have a benefit concert for them at Unitarian Universalist Church of Rockville (100 Welsh Park Dr.) on June 1 at 3 p.m. We’ll also be singing for the Pride Service at Unitarian Universalist Church (Franklin & Charles Sts.) and will have a benefit

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There is a social side of the chorus.

We have dinners, picnics and other outings. We’re going to Philadelphia together this month to hear Mahler’s Symphony #8. We all enjoy singing but we also have a fun time together.

The Baltimore Men’s Chorus’s spring cabaret, “Hide & Seek”, starts at 8 p.m. on May 3 at St. John’s United Methodist Church (2640 St. Paul St., Baltimore). For additional information about the Baltimore Men’s Chorus, visit www.baltimoremenschorus.com. If you are interested in auditioning, call Scott at 410-381-7075.

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Photo by Raquel Evita Saraswati

Interview by Maddy Dwertmann

D

escribed by The New York Times as “Osama bin Laden’s worst nightmare", and awarded the first annual Chutzpah Award for "audacity, nerve, boldness and conviction" by Oprah’s magazine, Irshad Manji has received both death threats and distinctions.

When you have a point of view, that point-of-view is bound to offend someone. The controversy comes with the territory. In many ways, that is the guiding premise of what I’m doing here at New York University as the Director of the Moral Courage Project.

In 1998, Manji began producing and hosting QueerTelevision, the world’s first program on commercial airwaves to explore the lives of gay and lesbian individuals. She is the internationally best-selling author of The Trouble with Islam Today: A Muslim’s Call for Reform in Her Faith, which has been published in almost 30 countries. Manji is also creator of the acclaimed PBS documentary, Faith Without Fear, which chronicles a young woman’s journey to reconcile Islam with human rights and freedom.

Bobby Kennedy pointed out that moral courage is the willingness to take backlash from your own community as you pursue a greater good.

Moral courage defined this way is more important than bravery in battle or even moral consciousness. It is speaking truth to power. When you indict the outside world for your community’s ills, you can wear that as a badge of tribal credibility….but when you call out injustice within your own community, that security blanket of instant belonging is immediately stripped.

I’ve always accepted this as part and parcel of what it means to call for religious reform.

Manji is the founder of Project Ijtihad and is currently the director of the Moral Courage Project at New York University.

You’ve made news headlines on more than one occasion.

Irshad Manji will be speaking at Equality Forum 2008 at the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia on Sunday, May 4. The event will be free.

So much of the news that you and I read is so bad…. because that is the stuff that feeds the media machine. Very rarely are you going to hear that there are developments on the ground. A lot of media executives send the message to their reporters that hope doesn’t sell—fear sells… that they need to get the most angry, extreme and sensational voices, splash them on the pages and hope to see another year of minimal profit margin. I think this really sells audiences short.

A refugee from Idi Amin’s Uganda, Manji and her family fled to Vancouver in 1972, where she grew up attending public schools as well as the Islamic madressa. In 1990, she graduated with honors from the University of British Columbia.

Gay Life had an engaging conversation with Manji about her views on Islam, the media and politics, human rights and the concept of “moral courage”.

Despite your harsh critique of Islam and devotion to human rights, you identify very assuredly as Muslim? Why are you so tied to this identity and how do you balance this tension?

At the very end of the book, I say, “My Fellow Muslims, whether I choose to leave Islam will of course be my decision, but it will not only be up to me, but to us. I need to see an appetite for reform among you that will translate into concrete action.” I wrote this five years ago. I am so much more optimistic about the prospects of liberal reform in Islam today than I was when I finished writing the book.

Why do you think your book has caused such passionate and polar responses?

The mainstream media twists critiques of Islam into fear, even when they come from a human rights instead of a counter-terrorist perspective. I want to say that all Muslims deserve human rights, but because the mainstream media puts this into an expression of fear, I have to shut up. I will be called a fear monger by others. I

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Photo by Tara Todras-Whitehill

of moral courage”, which focuses on people who are speaking truth to power in their own communities for the greater good. I want to publicize their efforts through my own site because I know the media will not give them a platform.

My charitable foundation, “The Moral Courage Project”, has just struck a partnership with a website called “Taking it Global”, which engages hundreds of thousands of young people in over 180 countries…. By doing it ourselves, we can circumvent the frustration of convincing established editors why these people need attention. The website also functions as a community that people can turn to for support.

will be slapped with the label of “racist” and “Islamaphobe”. By shutting up because you fear being called a racist, you only feed the mainstream media machine.

Are you also criticized regularly for your sexuality?

None of us is clean in this dirty thing. This is why I give such kudos to Equality Forum for establishing a platform for gay and lesbian Muslims this year. They know that they will take it on the chin from Muslim communities whose selfappointed leaders will say that there are no gay and lesbian Muslims or ask the question: Who does Irshad Manji speak for?

I do not speak for them and they do not speak for me. We all need to develop our unique voices. Abusive power begins when we abandon our own voices to the approval of other people. By doing something like this, Equality Forum is taking many risks and these are exactly the types of risks that Equality Forum needs to take.

Advocating for gay and lesbian survival in parts of the Muslim world is a critical issue. And, in advocating for that, we are saying, we’re not coming from a counterterrorist perspective. We’re coming from the perspective of people who embrace universal human rights.

That requires us to ask uncomfort-

able questions about the abuses of power being taken under the banner of Islam. The first people abused are usually ordinary Muslims and there is nothing racist about standing up for ordinary Muslims.

How has your visibility in the media impacted your work?

If the media support you, but they don’t cover stories about other Muslims that are speaking up, they can use you as shore hand for anything they want for their next story…. When they invoke me and only me, this makes it seem as if there really is no one supporting my work in the Muslim world. Whether you want to convey fear or support the human rights work that I’m doing, it does not benefit the work to isolate me. That is why I’m going out of the way to speak of the 500,000 downloads and the young Muslims writing me.

I knew about this time last year that I needed to have a blog of my own given the huge online constituency that the website has created. The point is that there are quantifiable numbers attached to how much hunger there is for these kinds of ideas. I’m no longer relying on the New York Times or Wall Street Journal to get my own points-of-view out and in a timely way. One of the things I have done on my blog is start a regular feature called “agents

How did the Moral Courage Project start?

After my book came out and because of the burst of international publicity, my inbox overflowed with messages from young Muslims in the Middle East asking when I would translate it into Arabic. There have been more than 500,000 downloads of the book in Persian, Ordu and Arabic from my website.

Because there is such a thirst for honest conversations about Islam among young Muslims throughout the world, I’ve been able to hear from thousands of young Muslims who want to engage in critical thinking and know that there’s a problem that we as Muslims need to rectify.

They came to me though and said: But, Irshad, if it’s only Muslims who need to reform, we feel singled out and you know we’re going to be defensive about it. How can you take this message of introspection and elevate it to communities across the board? This is how the Moral Courage Project came about. I want to show that every community, whether it is cultural, religious, ideological or professional, can do with more ijtihad, which is Islam’s own tradition of critical thinking, dissent, debate and reinterpretation.

If I can apply this message to communities around the world, younger Muslims will feel more comfortable about jumping aboard because they won’t be singled out. We can popularize this tradition that all of us should think critically…. Unique voices in communities feel like they can’t contradict the sense of community or that they will be accused of being terrorists, selling out, aiding and abetting the enemy. What I find lovely about this is that it was young Muslims that opened my eyes to the need to elevate this concept of critical thinking to the world.

What's the mission of Project Ijtihad?

Project Ijtihad is a charitable initiative to promote the spirit of ijtihad,

Islam’s own tradition of critical thinking, debate and dissent. We support a positive vision of Islam that embraces diversity of choices, expression and spirituality. To achieve this, Project Ijtihad will help build the world’s most inclusive network of reform-minded Muslims and non-Muslim allies.

Has your website been censored?

It’s interesting. The United Arab Emirates (UAE) touts itself as the Las Vegas of the Middle East—the place where you can gamble, drink alcohol, buy Goochie bags and Prada products. It is supposed to be the most liberal country in the Middle East and yet the government has censored my website. When people try to access it, the screen grab message reads: “We will not allow access to this site, because its contents do not adhere to the values of the UAE.” The hypocrisy is unbelievable.

What is not predictable is that the book and the site are banned outright in Saudi Arabia. Luckily, although the book is banned in Iran, Iranian bloggers are probably the most savvy web users and have found ways to log onto the website despite government blocks to download the Persian version of the book.

This is my cue to keep writing and putting material out there for people to use as they wish in a way that makes sense for their lives.

What keeps you passionate about the work you are doing?

I’m a refugee from Africa. When we came to Canada, we were given freedom. I didn’t fight for it, go to war for it, shed bled for it. I didn’t have to beg for it…. The ability to think and reflect and analyze and challenge and be challenged is a gift.

I’m asking not only fellow Muslims but also fellow people in the West: What are we doing with this?

Those who oppose freedom, violent jihadis, are on to us, our indifference, and they are using our freedom to spout their propaganda against freedom. If we don’t stand up to abusive power, we truly are showing them that we are not worthy of the freedom that we have been given. Progress has never happened without dissent…. If I as a Muslim speak up about the abuses of Islam, I’m accused of being a lackey of George W. Bush. This is exactly what Bush has exceeded in doing in our foreign policy here and exactly what violent jihadis have also done. Let us not be touted to silence by either one of these forces.

In addition to speaking at Equality Forum 2008, Irshad Manji will be screening her documentary Faith Without Fear at the University of Pennsylvania. For additional information about Irshad Manji and her work, visit www.irshadmanji.com.

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Interior

DESIGN Green Building Options from the Ground Up ore and more homes are being built and remodeled with the environment in mind. This green building movement is gaining momentum and options for homeowners continue to increase, making creating a green home easier than ever.

M

If you want to incorporate some green elements into your house, but are confused where to start, don't worry. Here are some tips to make your home greener, from the ground up:

Flooring With all the flooring options out there, how do you know the best one for your green home? Materials like sustainably harvested hardwoods and ceramic tile aren't your only eco-friendly choices. A better option might be Marmoleum Click, an all-natural flooring made from linseed oil, wood flour, rosins and limestone.

Homeowners can choose from 18 colors to create a custom floor that expresses their unique style.

Ecologically friendly pigments are used to create the floor's beautiful, vibrant colors. Installation is easy with a simple click-together system that does not require glue.

Don't forget about upkeep either.

You don't want to install a floor that requires the use of harsh chemicals for cleaning. Marmoleum, for example, only requires basic dusting and damp-mopping to keep the floor clean. Additionally, the flooring's composition has antibacterial properties that prevent the breeding of many microorganisms, helping to keep your indoor environment fresh.

Fixtures Low-flow plumbing fixtures are a great way to reduce a home's water consumption. Early low-flow options caused many problems, but today this technology is highly efficient comes in a variety of styles to match your home's decor. Think about using low-flow showers and toilets, and efficient sinks with features like movement sensors that will cut your water bill as well as conserve our earth's water supply.

Paint/Decor The development of eco-friendly paints is growing. Visit your local retail store to ask about environmentally-friendly options. Frequently these types of paints will have lower chemical levels. For example, regular paint that has a darker color will often use higher amounts of chemicals to get the right tone. Look for paint tints that are made of natural organic materials so the level of chemical compounds is less.

As you create the look and feel of your rooms with different types of decor, keep the environment in mind also. Decorate with natural fibers such as sisal or cotton. Don't forget the "green" value of houseplants. Not only do they beautify your decor, they remove harmful carbon dioxide from the air and release fresh oxygen.

Finally, set the ambiance with soy candles. Traditional candles are paraffin-based, which is made from

non-renewable petroleum. When they are burned, they release smoke into the indoor air, unlike soy candles which burn much cleaner and are made from renewable soy beans.

Lighting The common household light bulbs that many of us use are incandescent bulbs. These bulbs are inexpensive but highly inefficient. A better option is compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs) that are very efficient. The initial cost difference is easily made up because these lights last much longer and run at a cooler temperature.

Energy Star qualified bulbs use about 75% less energy than standard incandescent bulbs and last up to 10 times longer. Additionally, they save about $30 or more in electricity costs over each bulb's lifetime.

Roof/Solar Solar panels can be placed on the roof where the sun's natural rays hit the panels and are then converted into energy that can be used in the home. The energy is stored in batteries that heat the home and run appliances. Solar panels are available in a variety of systems. Implementation costs are high, but once installed, they can help save a bundle in energy costs and reduce negative effects on the environment. As technology in this area continues to develop, look for it to be more efficient, with possible cost decreases.

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • P A G E 3 9

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THEATER ON THE STAGE 1776 Through May 11 Olney Theatre Center 301-924-3400 www.olneytheatre.org

Kimberly Akimbo Through May 18 Vagabond Players, Baltimore 410-563-9135 http://www.bcpl.net/~thevag/

All Wear Bowlers Through April 20 Studio Theatre, D.C. 202-332-3300 www.studiotheatre.org

Kiss of the Spiderwoman Through April 20 Signature Theatre, Arlington 703-820-9771 www.signature-theatre.org

Antony and Cleopatra Through July 6 The Shakespeare Theatre Company, D.C. 877-487-8849 www.shakespearetheatre.org

Lost in Electroland Through April 27 Theatre Project, Baltimore 410-752-8558 www.theatreproject.org

Bad Dates Through April 20 Olney Theatre Center 301-924-3400 www.olneytheatre.org

The Pastor’s Anniversary Through April 28 Arena Players, Baltimore 410-728-6500 http://arenaplayers.strategiccommercegroup.com/

The Color Purple April 29 through May 18 Hippodrome Theatre 410-547-SEAT www.broadwayacrossamerica.com The Cripple of Inishmaan Through April 26 Maryland Ensemble Theatre, Frederick 301-694-4744 www.marylandensemble.org Cymbeline Through April 27 dog & pony dc Roundhouse Theatre, Silver Spring www.dogandponydc.com Death of a Salesman Through May 8 Arena Players, Washington, DC 410-728-6500 www.arenastage.org The Gem of the Ocean Through April 27 Everyman Theatre 410-752-2208 www.everymantheatre.org The History Boys Through May 4 Studio Theatre, D.C. 202-332-3300 www.studiotheatre.org Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Through June 8 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Columbia 410-995-1969 www.tobysdinnertheatre.com Julius Caesar April 27 – July 6 The Shakespeare Theatre Company, D.C. 877-487-8849 www.shakespearetheatre.org PA G E 4 0 • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

Strega Nona Through April 19 Maryland Ensemble Theatre, Frederick 301-694-4744 www.marylandensemble.org These Shining Lives April 24 – June 1 CenterStage 410-332-0033 www.centerstage.org A View from the Bridge Through May 18 Arena Players, Crystal City, VA 410-728-6500 www.arenastage.org West Side Story Through April 28 CCBC, Essex 410-780-6369. www.ccbcmd.edu The Winter’s Tale Through April 27 Baltimore Shakespeare Festival 3900 Roland Ave. Baltimore, MD 21211 410-366-8594 www.baltimoreshakespeare.org Wizard of Oz Through June 8 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Baltimore 410-995-1969 www.tobysdinnertheatre.com The Woolgatherer Through May 4 Fells Point Corner Theatre, Baltimore 410-276-7837 www.fpct.org

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QUOTE UNQUOTE "Hiding homosexuality is a long-tested shame in Hollywood and no doubt continues even in these days of gay marriage and gay civil partnerships. I agree that audiences are much less perturbed than producers allow, by a performer's sexuality. How else to explain the continuing popularity of George Michael, Elton John, Rupert Everett, Ellen DeGeneres and, excuse me, also the gay actor who played Gandalf?"

—Openly gay actor Sir Ian McKellen writing on his blog, March 26.

"There will not be a magic day when we wake up and it's now OK to express ourselves publicly. We make that day by doing things publicly...until it's simply the way things are."

BY REX WOCKNER WITH BILL KELLEY "I would say that Cuba has homophobia lite, not aggressive. We don't have cases of persons murdered or beaten because they're gay, as happens in Europe or the USA. It's true there was a more difficult period in the 1960s and '70s, but then there was a rejection of homosexuality all over the world. [Now] we have come to recognize also the diversity of sexual orientations."

--Mariela Castro Espín, director of Cuba's National Center for Sex Education and daughter of President Raúl Castro, to the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera, March 27.

"[M]arriage is in the province of the state[s], which has actually turned out to be lucky for us, because we didn't have to get beaten on the [anti-gay] Federal Marriage Amendment because we could make, among other arguments, that it was such a stretch for the federal government and it was wrong to enshrine discrimination in the Constitution."

—Hillary Clinton to Philadelphia Gay News, April 3.

—Openly lesbian U.S. Rep. Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., to syndicated newspaper columnist Deb Price, March 31.

"I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like a Virgin' ever again. I just can't—unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. [If] some Russian guy wants me to come and sing 'Holiday' at his wedding that he's gonna have to a 17year-old—you know it."

—Madonna in an appearance on New York City's WHTZ radio, March 27.

"I didn't fit into the popular group [in high school]. I wasn't a hippie or a stoner, so I ended up being the weirdo. I was interested in classical ballet and music, and the kids were quite mean if you were different. I was one of those people that people were mean to. When that happened, instead of being a doormat, I decided to emphasize my differences. I didn't shave my legs. I had hair growing under my arms. I refused to wear makeup, or fit the ideal of what a conventionally pretty girl would look like. So of course I was tortured even more, and that further validated my superiority, and helped me to survive."

"I am on such a tightrope when it comes to backing Clinton or Obama that one tiny little thing is going to push me off the precarious high wire of indecision and into the welcoming arms of my favorite candidate. In fact, I've already fallen for both of them, only to climb back up and resume my balancing act. ...

But last week I think I may have felt the hard shove in the back that will send me drifting effortlessly into Obamaland where I plan to become a permanent resident. It was accompanied by the words: 'I remember landing under sniper fire.'"

"I would be very strongly outspoken about this and it would be part of American foreign policy. There are a number of gross human-rights abuses that countries engage in with whom we have relations and we have to be really vigilant and outspoken in our total repudiation of those kinds of actions and do everything we can, including using our leverage on matters such as aid, to change the behavior so we can try to prevent such atrocities from happening."

—Madonna to Vanity Fair, April issue.

"It's gotten me excited a couple times.

That's how I feel about it!"

—Singer Janet Jackson on gay porn, to Instinct magazine, April issue.

"It never frustrated me. I never got upset behind it. For what reason? Why get upset because someone said you were gay or called you gay? That should upset me? Then it would be something negative to me, and it's not. It's just another rumor, like all the rest of them."

—Openly gay R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe to Salon.com, April 1.

—Singer Janet Jackson to Instinct magazine, April issue.

—From a March 28 Washington Blade story summarizing Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean's deposition in a wrongful-termination lawsuit brought by former DNC gay-outreach director Donald Hitchcock.

—Hillary Clinton when asked April 3

by Philadelphia Gay News, "What changes would you make toward governments that execute gay people ...?"

—Lesbian journalist Ann Rostow writing in the San Francisco Bay Times, March 27.

"I'm for Barack Obama all the way. The Clinton campaign has took a desperate turn and has, I think, shown its true colors. How dare they use fear against Americans after these past seven years?

I'm really tired of politicians telling me what to be afraid of. On the other hand, Obama is hopeful, grounded and clearly intelligent. He is, relatively, an outsider to the beholden D.C. club, and I think that is what America is calling out for. ...

He represents I think the true spirit of the beginning of the 21st century.

Looking back, I feel like we've all had enough of the fear and the arrogance, and losing our place in the world. Our very big idea of a country and democracy has been brought to a near end by very small people."

"Dean noted that he personally supports same-sex marriage, a position brought about by 'getting to know gay people' during and after his 2004 presidential campaign."

"Let's be clear that the profoundly humanistic position of this government is to respect the intrinsic dignity of everyone, of every human being, independently of their creed, race, sexual preference. ... We will give certain guarantees to stable gay couples but matrimony will continue being reserved for a man, a woman and the family. ... Every person has dignity, that's to say, one must respect a person independently of their sexual preference. Be careful not to deny employment to someone because of their sexual preference. That is discrimination, that is unconstitutional."

"I live in the Castro, in San Francisco, and everyone knows what that means.

The streets are teeming with homosexuals. It's just like in those horror-movie fundamentalist videos: Everyone's in leather with their bits and butts on display; murderous Baby Jane drag queens run amok day and night; gay sex is happening in the streets at all hours. There's a huge lube slide at the corner of 18th and Castro by the Bank of America, where of course, virgin straight men are sacrificed should they wander haplessly into our own little Sodom-by-the-Bay."

—Violet Blue writing at SFGate.com, April 2.

"The one thing I always say that I really, really mean is I should have had a gay son. Melissa doesn't care that Ann Miller can tap without shoes. Doesn't care! This breaks my heart. I've put on the Sirius show-tunes channel in the car and Melissa gets upset with me. This is not right!"

—Ecuadorean President Rafael Correa, March 29.

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • P A G E 4 1

—Comedian Joan Rivers to Instinct magazine, April issue.

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HOMOSTROLOGY

by Marry Elaine

that you will parent them if they present themselves as children. Stop raising babies you didn’t have and who aren’t babies anyway.

LEO

(July 23 - August 22) In intimate liaisons, it is time to take seriously your nagging doubts. Your quest for perfection and for utter exponential fulfillment is not something to harness or subdue; though it does need to be focused and applied to fruitful avenues. You have a lot of appetite. Locate what the appetite is for and work towards satiating it. This means letting go of old habits. Trench them out of you, knowing that better will result.

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) Focus on

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

A newfound independence is revealing itself to you. There is no reason to stifle pride in yourself. New romance will feel better than it ever has. You may feel you know yourself more, and that may make relationships feel more honest, because you are more genuinely aware in them. Others open their arms to you. Now is a good time to revel; big change can happen later.

GEMINI

(May 21 - June 20) You can’t help but find yourself in bullshit situations. But truth is important to you and you should honor its importance by tuning out during bullshit and opening your pores when you sense that truth could be flowing in. Ask questions, more than you usually do and about things that you usually don’t. Allow yourself to hear and be changed by their answers.

Forming new identities and selves is tiring, but you are up for it. Try something new this week. Nurture.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22) Reckon with how wonderful you are. Now, tend to your garden. This means weeding shit that should not be there because it will hinder growth and suffocate roots and hydration. It also means planting mutually nourishing beauty. Some people around you sense

digestion. Deep, deep colon-engaging breathing.

Breathe in, breathe out. Take in, put out. Go slow.

Let yourself burrow into your physicality to really feel the cycles through you and to really feel how active you are in the process of your body.

Honing your skills of daily inner processing is very important right now. Soon a lot will come at you from outside that will seem difficult, or at least challenging. The changes could be wonderful, depending on your ability to morph yourself and to retain the nutrients from that which passes through and over you.

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22) Focus on perceiving fullness instead of lack. Relax your ambition, just for a moment. Let yourself get really dreamy, and let your dreaminess manifest how it will.

SCORPIO

(October 23 - November 21) Run a hot bath. Put in a butt plug. Submerge yourself and feel every orifice fill and expand and fill more and fill further. In your asshole resides a lot of desire and a lot of wisdom in terms of what you need and how you like to get it. The dissatisfaction, or maybe just malcontent, you are feeling lately is the good kind. It is the kind you may be able to quietly fulfill on your own. Wear a hood and let the air inside it fill your ears and incubate you as you converse and make decisions.

SAGITTARIUS

(November 22 - December 20) You feel love deeply and the love you feel is strong; the currents of its energy are unrestrainable and can be

daunting. This week, pour your love out—your passion, your enthusiasm, your forgiveness, your warmth. Pour it out without a second glance towards wondering if you’re getting any back, wondering if the cost to you is too high, wondering if you’re too much in the eyes of others.

Pretend you trust yourself enough and pretend you trust others enough to handle the moments of love you initiate and what these moments can lead to. Pretend to until it works out and then you really do. The wind feels good in the midst of all the beautiful churning inside you: stay outside.

CAPRICORN (December 21 - January 19) Strive to be shameless. It is time to deeply challenge yourself. Don’t worry about keeping it together; you have done that for long enough. Get messy and wet. Trust that the gentleness you have shown others in the past will be shown to you.

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18) Nurture your secret life with yourself.

PISCES (February 19 - March 19) Renewal and forgiveness. You have been newly finding yourself for a little while now. Figuring out what stays, what goes, what was still there after all this time, what you want to make in yourself. You have been laboring as you step from one stone to another. Now you are finally resting your second foot on the new stone, ready to stand from there.

This involves forgiveness, reckoning with the past, healing, letting go of feelings you felt in the past and carrying forward new perspectives on that past and on the present. Forward into newness. Find new ways to move that feel better in the present, to the present you. Weight has been lifted. New skills are emerging. Celebrate!

ARIES (March 20 - April 19) Realize your control over yourself and your lack of control over others. Just for one week, make all choices from a place of knowing this. If you like the results, if you feel even a little more room to move, stick with it. You can always go back. Success with money is coming your way. Newfound comfort could let more love in.

Marry Elaine is very psychic and a huge fag.

PA G E 4 2 • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

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DO AS I SAY Prudence Responds to

Your Letters

by Prudence Worthington

Dear Prudence, Imagine my shock as I saw myself in the letter from Tootless on the town. Thank goodness Gay Life and you have the decency to withhold names. I shutter to think of what would happen to my social calendar had I been linked to such socially unacceptable behavior.

I erred on two parts. One, I was one of the participants in the activity that caused the dismay.

Forgive me all, for I do sin often. Two, at the end of the party I slipped up and told our gracious host of the occurrence. Damn those tongue-loosening alcoholic beverages!!!

So on to my questions: How does one recover from such socially inept behavior? Further, how shall I make the appropriate amends to allow for future social invitations? And finally, what should one do to control the unruly tongue during bouts of heavy drinking?

Signed, Regretful Party Guest Oh My Dear RPG, What an uncommon delight to find your correspondence accompanying my Bloody Mary on this morning’s breakfast tray. (Rosita was quite impressed as well.) Could it be true that my humble scribblings inspired a sincere act of remorse? Humility and breeding forbid me accepting credit and I attest that your strength of character illuminated the error of your ways. Still it is gratifying that one of you people recognized yourself in the “mirror” I provide you. Rest assured, my Dove, that although my sermons fall into the category of opinion, I do exercise journalistic integrity and provide anonymity to all.

Ironic that your tongue was the instrument of your exposure, for undiscovered, this incident might have remained. A pioneer in lavatory drug use you are not, so do forgive yourself. Many have gone before you with dire consequences. The powder room floor at Studio 54 was once littered with the bodies of those who knew not their limits. Nonetheless, it is an occupation I cannot advocate, but I do believe your social life is salvageable.

Amends indeed, should be made and I prescribe the following course of action: You must telephone and invite her to lunch. Telephoning is essential for it allows you to gauge the level of her discontent. This cannot be achieved by “texting” or interweb correspondence. Lunch is mandatory as well, for it only lasts one hour, does not always include alcohol and if things go poorly, your immediate misery is short

lived. Should she decline, you now know you will not see the inside of her gracious home for quite some time or ever again.

I’m confident she will accept the kind offer, allowing you to convince her of your contrition. This is also the appropriate time to extol her virtues as a hostess, compliment her taste in interior decoration and request the number of the fabulous caterer she used. Flattery, though not infallible, does calm the waters. Assure her of your penitence and swear such a thing shall never happen again. Cue the tears (if necessary) and proclaim the high value of her friendship. Once she has forgiven you, steer the conversation toward her so the spotlight is no longer on yourself. She should depart this conference happy with her decision to forgive you. Follow up with a thoughtful note and some flowers and voila, back on her A-list.

Now onto your uncontrollable tongue; many an imprudent comment escapes one’s lips with the aid of alcohol. This conversational lubricant has been the downfall of thousands throughout history. Preventing unwanted verbal ejaculation is mostly a matter of selfcontrol. Sorry dear, no simple panacea this time. You must learn to hold your liquor gracefully or worse, lay off the sauce. You must also recognize that any successful hostess has approximately 5 minutes to engage each guest so keep it light and not too familiar. This is not the time to disclose confidences, for her mind is on the success of her soiree, not your latest proclivities. I wish you great success for a triumphant comeback.

Dear Mrs. Worthington, Recently I have been propositioned by older gentlemen (using that word loosely). All those involved I know only in a professional sense. As a young person starting in my career, I am nothing less than offended by the sexual advances. I don’t pretend to be naïve about the gay community, but I have been consistently shocked over the last couple months by how blatant some of these advances are. What is the polite way to convey that not only would I never jeopardize my career by accepting, but I’m also just not interested?

Hands Off Mon Petite Billy Goat, Just as you discover a troll under every bridge, they start lurking around the water cooler? Black and white solutions do not exist and many women have faced this threat for centuries. This situation is highly complicated by one plain truth: The egos of men so rarely handle rejection well. While not all “older” men

desire to bed you, I surmise you can distinguish amorous advances from platonic interests.

If these men are co-workers, you should be addressing your complaints to your superior or human resources. Sexual harassment is a very serious faux pas in the workplace. If perhaps they are clients, volunteers, board members, consultants, contractors or donors, you find yourself in a very gray area.

Prevention is really the best approach. Might I suggest some of the more subtle clues and habits which might signal you are unavailable? Should you suspect an unwanted attraction, take great strides to prevent any private meetings professional or otherwise. This includes lunch, cocktails and any other event. When a one-on-one meeting is unavoidable, select the large conference room with the most glass walls and stay as far away as possible. Cool aloofness has proven effective for some. Place pictures of yourself with “boyfriends” on your desk to send the signal you are taken, even if you are not. Ugly glasses have been known to work for many a girl in the steno pool. If you sense an attack, start discussing your “boyfriend” to throw them off the scent. Never accept hospitality of any sort if you can avoid it, for once they open their wallets some peculiar signal is sent to their libido.

Discussing relationship problems sends the wrong message that you might be ripe for the picking. Gifts of any sort are the ultimate taboo and you may have to site ethics of the workplace to fend them off.

If these steps do not prevent the confrontation, the polite yet firm approach can be viable, but only during the first attack. For example: “I always maintain a professional relationship and prefer to focus on the work at hand.” Or, “I never mix business with pleasure.” Then segue immediately to business so as to allow no time for rebuttal or retribution. If you let their first attempt pass unnoticed, they will have another go at you most assuredly. Do not succumb to the ego boost that comes with being admired, for it can lead to disaster. Maintain your professionalism and stride upon the moral high road. Endeavor to avoid bridges, for you now know what lurks beneath them.

Kisses,

Prudence P.S. You may forward enquires regarding today's ever-changing etiquette to prudence@baltimoregaylife.com.

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • P A G E 4 3

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MARKETPLACE House for Rent

It’s easy to place your Market Place ad.

Call us at

GREAT LOCATION 2BR, 1 Bath Fells Point Rowhome only 3 blocks north of waterfront, 2 blocks south of Patterson Park.

Recently renovated w/ granite and hardwoods. Dogs OK. $1,350 + utils. Call Al (443) 939-9330.

410.837.7748 We’ll do the rest!

25 words for $20!

Apartment for Rent

Box it or add a graphic for $5 more.

Junior 1BR Apartment near York Rd. & Northern Pkwy. $575/month includes gas and electricity. Perfect for grad student. New carpet, stove & refrigerator. 410-532-7387.

25¢ per word after that.

Employment.

Massage

LOVE CANDLES? I'm looking for Fun People to join my team- Be in Business FOR Yourself, Not BY Yourself. Call Laurie 571-723-3053.

BALTIMORE’S BEST MASSAGE Leave your stress behind & feel your best. Available days, evenings and weekends. $5.00 discount for appointments before 6PM. Gift certificates available. Call Marc @ 410-653-3084.

LADIES, LADIES, LADIES, Interested in a DJ position? Please send a resume and current (2007) CD of your music to: DJ Search 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201

SERVICE

DIRECTORY

ACCOMMODATIONS Baltimore Tremonts 222 St. Paul St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-561-8886

ACCOUNTING Heiffner & Associates 6706 German Hill Rd. Dundalk, MD 21222 410-285-3920

AUTOMOTIVE Meineke Car Care Center 7604 Harford Rd. Parkville, MD 21234 410-665-0710 Tate Mini of Annapolis 25 Old Mill Bottom Rd. N. Annapolis, MD 21409 410-349-2131 BARS / NIGHTCLUBS Baltimore Eagle 2022 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-3219 Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-576-0018 Club Phoenix 1 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-3906

For a nice, relaxing, comfortable massage, call to make an appointment. Call Clark. 443-642-7093.

GREAT MASSAGE Swedish or sensual, by attractive guy with awesome hands.

Incall/Outcall, reasonable rates, 15 years experience.

Craig 410-336-8956 or Craiginbaltimore@comcast.net

reach the local

gay market. advertise in gay life! sales@baltimoregaylife.com

Solution to puzzle, page 35

FULL BODY SENSUAL MASSAGE. 6'1 200lbs, Athletic. Sessions for

CHORUSES

New Wave Singers PO Box 2012 Baltimore, MD 21203 410-558-4692

CHURCHES Catholic Archdiocese of Baltimore 320 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 20201 410-547-5486 First & St. Stephen’s United Church 6915 York Rd. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-377-5224

St. John’s of Baltimore 2640 St. Paul St. Baltimore, MD 21218 410-366-7733

COMPUTER / TECHNOLOGY CONSULTING Computer Handyman of Maryland 443-827-0433 CONSTRUCTION Laurence Construction David Meltzer 6999 Reiserstown Rd., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21215 410-764-7100 NLT Construction 9216 Liberty Rd. Randallstown, MD 21133 410-922-6475

First Unitarian Church 1 W. Hamilton St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-2330

COUNSELING / THERAPY Patti Desert, LCSW-C Singular Pathways 208 E. Melrose Ave. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-435-3755

Metropolitan Community Church of Baltimore 401 W. Monument St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-669-6222

Laura June, Ph.D. Belvedere Towers, Suite 105A 1190 W. Northern Pkwy.

Baltimore, MD 21210 410-235-7899

Memorial Episcopal Church 1407 Bolton St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-669-0220

Jeff Klug, LCSW The Rotunda, Suite 108 711 W. 40th St. Baltimore, MD 21211 410-241-4215

St. Bernadette Parish 801 Stevenson Rd. Severn, MD 21144 410-969-2785

Both Men, Women, & Couples.

Call Tony @ 443-286-8173

Samuel J. Kelly, LCSW-C Ellen Schwartz Patterson, LCSW-C The Shell Building, Suite 108

200 E. Joppa Rd. Towson, MD 21286 410-583-8846 Robin Richardson, LCSW-C The Rotunda, Suite 412 711 W. 40th St. Baltimore, MD 21211 410-261-3323 Women’s Growth Center 5209 York Rd. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-532-2476

FINANCIAL SERVICES Yoshiko Hayakawa First Financial Group 401 Washington Ave., 6th floor Baltimore, MD 21204 410-828-5400 x4178 FITNESS Mt. Vernon Fitness 1016 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.mvfit.com

FRAMING Fast Frame of Bel Air 1431 Rock Spring Rd. Bel Air, MD 21014 410-836-0017

HEALTH / DENTAL Chase Brexton Health Services 1001 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-2050 Dr. Samuel Westrick 3100 St. Paul St., Suite 5 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-243-5544

JEWELERS Craig Coyne Jewelers 8113 Main St. Ellicott City, MD 21043 410-243-5544

LEGAL SERVICES Law offices of Constandin Alivizatos 111 S. Calvert St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-385-5397 Lynda Dee, Attorney at Law 201 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-332-1170 A. Allan Gertner, Attorney at Law 814 N. Calvert St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-539-1870 National Adoption and Surrogacy Center Hilary Neiman, Esq. 30 Courthouse Square, Suite 106 Rockville, MD 20850 301-340-7228 Mark Scurti Hodes, Pessin & Katz, PA 410-938-8718 www.hpklegal.com Zavos Law Group Washington, DC Baltimore, MD 443-570-6205

LOCKSMITHS Robert’s Key Service 217 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-728-7484

MORTGAGE SERVICES Marva J. Laws American Financial Resources Bel Air, MD 410-734-6688 1-888-553-5513 Richard Pazornik SunTrust Mortgage 410-561-4139 www.suntrustmortgage.com/rp azornik NONPROFIT ORGANIZATIONS Hearts and Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 PHARMACIES Mount Vernon Pharmacy 900 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-539-8030 Park Avenue Pharmacy 1535 Park Ave. Baltimore, MD 21217 410-225-0800

Real Estate Nancy Corporon RE/MAX Advantage Realty 8815 Centre Park Dr. Columbia, MD 21045 410-740-1200 Stephen Johnson Long & Foster Real Estate 10805 Hickory Ridge Rd. Columbia, MD 21044 410-715-7891

PA G E 4 4 • A p r i l 1 8 - M a y 1 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

David Ostrowski & Pat Stokeley Long & Foster Real Estate 410-931-6300 www.DaveMovesMd.com

RESTAURANTS / CATERING Café Boheme 401 E. Pratt St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-347-9898 Sascha’s 527 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-539-8880 Spice Company 4 W. University Pkwy.

Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-8200

THEATRES Hippodrome Theatre France-Merrick Performing Arts Center 12 N. Eutaw St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-547-SEAT Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Baltimore 5625 O’Donnell St. Baltimore, MD 21224 410-995-1969 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Columbia 5900 Symphony Woods Rd. Columbia, MD 21044 410-995-1969

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