Vol. 30, No. 9, May 2 - May 15, 2008

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MAY 2 - MAY 15, 2008 VOLUME XXX, NUMBER 9 W W W. B A L T I M O R E G A Y L I F E . C O M

IN THIS ISSUE PAGE 17

METROPOLITAN FEAST ON MAY 7 TO BENEFIT THE PUBLIC JUSTICE CENTER PAGE 36

AWARD-WINNING COMIC BRINGS LAUGHTER TO COLUMBIA FESTIVAL OF ARTS: AN INTERVIEW WITH PAULA POUNDSTONE PAGE 41

ERENE PERFORMS AT READ ST. BOOKS ON MAY 10

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WHAT’S INSIDE FEATURES

Maryland Gaming Association, Inc.

By David Placher

PAGE 14 Gay Pimpin’ at Baltimore Pride: An Interview with Jonny McGovern. Interview by Maddy Dwertman

IMHO: Part Deux—Looking for Love

By Mario Fernandez

PAGE 36 Award-Winning Comic Brings Laughter to Columbia Festival of the Arts: An Interview with Paula Poundstone. Interview by Maddy Dwertman

NEWS

The Owl Bar. By John Cullen and Marty Shayt

Chase Brexton Honors 3 at Anniversary Gala; O’Malley Signs Two Key Healthcare Bills into Law; Baltimore to Host Regional Meeting for HIV Community; Binational Gay and Lesbian Couples and Their Families Converge on Washington, DC to Lobby Congress for Same-Sex Immigration Benefits.

PAGE 6 – NATIONAL NEWS PlanetOut, GLAAD, HRC Punish Hotel; Obama Grants Interview to Advocate; Foreman Leaves Task Force; PlanetOut to Sell Advocate, Out, Alyson, Porn Mags; N.Y. Governor Supports Same-Sex Marriage; Brothers & Sisters Actor Comes Out; Harvey Milk Holiday Passes Committee.

By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley.

PAGE 7 – INTERNATIONAL NEWS Eurovision Attendees Fear Anti-Gay Attacks; Egypt Jails More Men for Debauchery; Euro Court Trans Decision on Lithuania is Final; Filipino Docs in Trouble for YouTube Vid; Police Raid Lambda Istanbul Cultural Center; Hundreds Protest Norway’s Same-Sex Marriage Plans; Uruguay Sees First Civil Union; Colombian Court Grants Pension Rights to Gay Couples; Irish Sperm Donor Loses Guardianship Case; Chinese Transwoman Gets New ID Card; Aussie TV Anchor Comes Out; By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley.

Brian Flottemesch President of GLCCB Editor editor@baltimoregaylife.com

Michael Nguyen Art Director art@baltimoregaylife.com

Maddy Dwertman Sales sales@baltimoregaylife.com

National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media 212-242-6863

Gay Life is a publication of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore. Gay Life is published every other Friday in Baltimore, Maryland, with distribution throughout the Mid-Atlantic region.

Copyrighted 2008. All Rights Reserved. Gay Life is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Gay Life or its publisher.

PAGE 31 – PENCIL ME IN Calendar. By Maddy Dwertman

PAGE 32 – THEATRE Death of a Salesman at Arena Stage, The Color Purple at the Hippodrome, and The Child Behind the Curtain at Howard County Community College

HOME PAGE 38 – REAL ESTATE Curb Appeal Takes Starring Role in Competitive Market.

Courtesy of ARAContent

COMMUNITY & COLUMNS PAGE 26 – COMMUNITY CALENDAR PAGE 29 – FICTION Cereal: The Adventures of Pico Darling.

By SIR. Robinson

PAGE 43 – DO AS I SAY

PAGE 17

Prudence Answers Your Questions.

By Miss Prudence Worthington

Metropolitan Feast on May 7 to Benefit the Public Justice Center

PAGE 44 – QUOTE UNQUOTE

By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley

PAGE 25

CONTRIBUTORS John Cullen Shayna Robinson Marty Shayt Maddy Dwertman Gwendolyn Ann Smith Marry Elaine Sydnei SmithJordan Mario Fernandez Rex Wockner Bill Kelley Miss Prudence Rev. Irene Monroe Worthington David Placher

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT PAGE 28 – DINING OUT

PAGE 4 – LOCAL NEWS

241 W. Chase Street, Baltimore, MD 21201 Phone: 410.837.7748 Fax: 410.837.8889 Email: editor@baltimoregaylife.com

Obama’s Chickens Have Come Home to Roost

By Rev. Irene Monroe

5th Annual Gay Pride Weekend in New Hope, PA May 16-18

PAGE 47 - MARKETPLACE

PAGE 27

FOR FUN

Housing for Baltimore’s Homeless Youth Declines with Closure of Fellowship of Lights

OPINIONS PAGE 18

PAGE 35 – Q PUZZLE Embracing Billie Jean

PAGE 42 – HOMOSTROLOGY

By Marry Elaine

What Do You Mean By This?

By Gwendolyn Ann Smith

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VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM. May 2 - May 15, 2008

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LOCAL NEWS O’Malley Signs Two Key Healthcare Bills into Law

Photos provided by Captured Expression; Photography by Amy A. Johnson

Chase Brexton Honors Three at 30th Anniversary Gala Chase Brexton Health Services, a leading provider of patient-centered interdisciplinary healthcare in Maryland, honored three Marylanders for their extraordinary support of the organization and commitment to equal access to healthcare at its 30th anniversary gala on Saturday, April 26. (Left to right) David Shippee, Chase Brexton’s executive director, presented the Leadership Award to David Lawrence Hankey; the Advocacy Award to Sen. Benjamin Cardin; and the Spirit Award to Franklin N. McNeil, Jr.

On April 24, Gov. O’Malley signed into law two key healthcare bills. HB 991/SB 826, HIV Testing—Informed Consent and Treatment, alters how HIV testing is conducted in Maryland while ensuring protection of patients’ rights. HB 216, Hereditary and Congenital Disorders - Newborn Screening, establishes a coordinated statewide hereditary and congenital disorders screening system for all Maryland newborn infants.

Maryland is ranked third among U.S. states in the number of AIDS cases per 100,000 population.

Currently, there are an estimated 32,000 Marylanders diagnosed and known to be living with HIV or AIDS, and an estimated 11,000 additional people living with HIV who are not aware of their status. Under HB 991, medical providers must now document in a patient’s medical record that informed consent was given before an HIV test is conducted, but patients are no longer required to sign a separate written

consent form for HIV testing.

“The written consent requirement made it almost impossible to offer HIV tests to patients in certain medical settings, such as emergency rooms,” said Department of Health and Mental Hygiene (DHMH) Secretary John M. Colmers. “The removal of this impediment means more people will not only know their HIV status, but will also be referred for treatment as necessary.”

It is estimated that 75,000 babies are born in Maryland each year.

Testing is performed on each of those infants and follow up care is provided to those who test positive for treatable disorders. HB216 designates DHMH’s public health laboratory as the sole laboratory authorized to perform newborn screening tests. T “The Newborn Screening Program is an exceptionally important, cost effective public health program,” commented Colmers. “It is in the best interest of the state to perform these tests to identify Maryland newborns with treatable hereditary and congenital disorders so they may receive the care and services they need to become productive, and healthy Marylanders.”

Baltimore to Host Regional Meeting for HIV Community On Monday, May 5, from 5 to 8 p.m., people living with HIV/AIDS and their service providers from across the mid-Atlantic region will gather in Baltimore for CAEAR Coalition’s HIV Community Meeting: “Have Your Voice Heard in DC…Without Leaving Baltimore.”

The meeting will take place at First and Franklin Street Presbyterian Church, at 201 W. Madison Street in Baltimore.

“CAEAR Coalition is sponsoring regional meetings like this across the country to learn which programs and services are most needed by people living with HIV and their providers,” said Dr. David Haltiwanger, Director of Clinical Programs and Public Policy at Chase Brexton Health Services and MidAtlantic Region Representative to CAEAR Coalition’s Board of Directors. “Next year, the Ryan White Treatment Modernization Act is set to expire. Whatever replaces current Ryan White legislation will

be decided by a new Administration and the many new legislators who will take office in Washington in January. These meetings offer the HIV community an opportunity to define its priorities now so that advocates can communicate concerns effectively to elected officials in the coming year.”

Co-sponsored by the National Association of People with AIDS (NAPWA), developed by CAEAR Coalition’s PLWHA Caucus, and sponsored locally by AIDS Action Baltimore, Chase Brexton Health Services, InterGroup Services, Lifelinc and Moveable Feast, the meeting will provide a unique opportunity for the HIV community to discuss what is working—and what is not—in terms of HIV health care and support services.

Information gathered at this meeting will be used to guide national advocacy efforts around federal support for HIV/AIDS programs and services, especially services currently

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funded by Ryan White and other federal programs.

“HIV has been shown to be merely a symptom of the realities of the unor underinsured in America, those coping with mental health and substance abuse challenges, and economic uncertainty,” said Kali Lindsey, Director of Federal Government Affairs for NAPWA and Co-Chair of CAEAR Coalition’s PLWHA Caucus. “Yet in recent years, the federal government has consistently flat-funded or decreased allocation of resources for comprehensive sex education, HIV research, Ryan White-supported health care and support services and many other mechanisms that help to respond to the domestic AIDS epidemic. We need to hear from people living with HIV/AIDS and their service providers about how their lives are being affected, and we need to prepare community members to advocate effectively for their needs.”

The program for the community

meeting will include ample opportunity for people living with HIV/AIDS and their service providers to share their concerns about the ongoing availability of HIV/AIDS health care and support services. Participants will be encouraged to discuss their interests and needs during a facilitated, open-mic discussion period. At the end of the meeting, participants will also complete a brief survey about the issues that concern the community most.

Registration will open and light refreshments will be served starting at 5 p.m., and the meeting will begin promptly at 5:30. Special guest speakers will include representatives from CAEAR Coalition and NAPWA. Admission to the meeting is free.

However, organizers request that all participants pre-register by calling Franny Lerner at Chase Brexton Health Services at 410-837-2050, ext. 1474 or by sending an e-mail to caear.plwha@gmail.com.

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Binational Gay and Lesbian Couples and their Families Converge on Washington, DC to Lobby Congress for Same-Sex Immigration Benefits On May 6, 7 and 8, Immigration Equality will host “Lobby Week 2008,” bringing binational same-sex couples to Washington, D.C. to lobby for the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), a bill currently pending before Congress. The UAFA would allow a U.S. citizen or permanent resident to sponsor their same-sex partner for immigration benefits. Despite the guiding principle of “family unification” governing U.S. immigration policy, this benefit is currently denied to samesex partnerships. Thousands of lesbian and gay binational couples are forced into exile abroad, long-distance relationships or separation as a result.

“We have made steady progress on the UAFA, and to help us continue that progress, binational same-sex couples and their mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, are coming to Washington to meet with Members of Congress and put faces on this cruel discrimination,” says Immigration Equality’s Executive Director, Rachel B. Tiven. This year Immigration Equality will focus on seven target states: Alabama, California, Delaware, Illinois, Maryland, New York, and Wisconsin. “Our targets are tougher than ever and a strong presence is vital to reaching our goals,” continues Tiven. “U.S. immigration law is based on the principle of family uni-

fication. The fact that gay and lesbian U.S. citizens cannot sponsor their same-sex partners is grossly unjust and contradicts the policy of promoting family unification. We hope that having Members of Congress meet same-sex partners and their family members face to face will inspire them to make passage of the UAFA a priority.”

“If you want to make a mother angry, give one of her children a right that you deny the other,” says Janet a Hoboken, NJ, mother who will be participating in Lobby Week 2008. “And if you want to break a mother’s heart, force one of her children to move far away from her in order to keep his household together. That’s what the U.S. government has done to our family and thousands of others in similar circumstances.

I will be joining Immigration Equality in Washington, D.C. to lobby for the UAFA, because it’s the only way to bring my family back together.”

The UAFA would amend the Immigration and Nationality Act by adding the term “permanent partner” next to “spouse” for immigration to the U.S. The standards of proof and the procedures governing adjudication would be identical to the current “immediate relative” category.

For additional information, visit www.immigrationequality.org.

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NATIONAL NEWS

by Rex Wockner with Bill Kelly

PlanetOut, GLAAD, HRC Punish Hotel In apparent response to media inquiries, PlanetOut Inc., the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against De-famation, and the Human Rights Campaign acted swiftly April 22 and 23 to dissociate themselves from the Manchester Grand Hyatt San Diego.

In March, Manchester told the San Diego Union-Tribune that his Roman Catholic faith drove him to donate to the anti-same-sex-marriage movement.

"When they say that we cannot say that a marriage is between a man and a woman, that's where I draw the line," Manchester said.

Donations such as Manchester's helped the amendment campaign pay signature-gatherers—and the coalition announced on April 21 that it has collected enough petition signatures to force a ballot vote on changing the Constitution, a claim that now must be verified by state officials.

GLAAD was first to bolt from any association with Manchester, on April 22.

"GLAAD ... does not and will not have a relationship with the individual hotel property owned by Mr. Manchester," said President Neil Giuliano. "Mr. Manchester's decision to fund an initiative that would hurt loving, committed gay couples makes it impossible for us to continue to be associated with any promotion of his venue. GLAAD strongly encourages members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community to speak as one and to withdraw their support from this venue's event as well."

Under fire for not speaking with local and regional gay publications, presidential candidate Barack Obama sat down for an interview with Advocate.com on April 10.

"The gay press may feel like I'm not giving them enough love. But basically, all press feels that way at all times," Obama said. "Obviously, when you've got limited amount of time, you've got so many outlets. We tend not to do a whole bunch of specialized press.... But I haven't been silent on gay issues. What's happened is, I speak oftentimes to gay issues to a public general audience."

PlanetOut, GLAAD and Global Hyatt Corp. have partnered to offer a Pride 2008 "GLAAD Package" rate at 26 hotels nationally and to stage "Pride Rocks" parties at three hotels, in San Diego, San Francisco and Boston.

But the San Diego party now will be moved to another location in protest against a $125,000 donation by the owner of the San Diego hotel, Doug Manchester, to the ongoing campaign to amend the California Constitution to permanently ban same-sex marriage.

Obama Grants Interview to Advocate

The Manchester Grand Hyatt San Diego. Photo by Rex Wockner A day later, the Pride Rocks parties co-host, PlanetOut Inc., decided to move the San Diego event.

"We put together a program with Hyatt at the corporate level," marketing vice president Kevyn Aiken said in an interview. "Upon learning about this, we have decided to move the event to a location that is more supportive and more appropriate."

PlanetOut Inc. owns The Advocate, Out magazine, Gay.com, PlanetOut .com and other gay media properties.

The Human Rights Campaign took action against Global Hyatt on April 23, demanding that its "Best Companies for GLBT Equality 2007" logo be removed from Hyatt material referencing the San Diego hotel.

"We do not condone his (Doug Manchester's) participation in any efforts to write discrimination into the California state constitution," the nation's largest gay rights group said.

"Permission to use HRC's 'Best Places to Work' service mark is given based on a Corporate Equality Index score of 100 percent received by the parent corporation and not individual properties. In granting a score of 100 percent, HRC investigates financial contributions to anti-GLBT organizations by officers, board members and sig-

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nificant shareholders of the parent corporation, but not individual franchises. Chicago-based Global Hyatt Corporation has received a score of 100 percent for the past three years. The company continues to be a strong supporter of the GLBT community."

The San Diego Pride Rocks event, which will take place the night before the city's pride parade, is not affiliated with San Diego LGBT Pride, which runs the pride parade and festival.

"Not only do we not have anything to do with it, we've never been contacted by PlanetOut, HRC or the Manchester Grand Hyatt to even talk about such a thing," San Diego LGBT Pride Executive Director Ron deHarte said April 22, as the controversy began to unfold.

"We're very concerned that the wrong impression is being made ... that there is a connection between the Manchester Grand Hyatt and San Diego Pride."

DeHarte said Doug Manchester "basically has said ... he welcomes (gay) people to go eat and drink and stay at the hotel and at the same time he's writing a check to fund the constitutional ban. We want the public to be aware of Manchester's role in funding the constitutional amendment."

Obama said he supports passage of a federal law protecting transgender people from discrimination but he's not sure there's support in Congress for the move. A bill outlawing job discrimination against gays, lesbians and bisexuals has passed the House of Representatives and is pending in the Senate.

"I have been clear about my interest in including gender identity in legislation, but I've also been honest with the groups that I've met with that it is a heavy lift through Congress," he said. "We've got some Democrats who are willing to vote for a non-inclusive bill but we lose them on an inclusive bill, and we just may not be able to generate the votes."

Obama said he understands gay people's frustration with candidates such as himself (and Hillary Clinton) who support civil-union laws but not marriage for same-sex couples.

"I strongly respect the right of same-sex couples to insist that even if we got complete equality in benefits, it still wouldn't be equal because there's a stigma associated with not having the same word, marriage, assigned to it," he said. "I understand that, but my perspective is also shaped by the broader political and historical context in which I'm operating."

Foreman leaves Task Force National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman quit his job April 15 and moved to San Francisco to head up the Gay & Lesbian Rights Program at the Evelyn and Walter Haas, Jr. Fund.

• G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

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The fund provides more grant support to GLBT organizations than any other non-gay foundation in the U.S.

ty everywhere I go—some purely social, others religious, others political, others professional.

Foreman was at the Task Force for five years and is credited with growing the staff to 54 full-timers and doubling the organization's budget to $10 million.

"While we do have a very, very long way to go, the fact we've made so much progress while being such a tiny minority and against such mighty opponents is, to me, proof positive that we do indeed have a vibrant people and community."

"I'm incredibly privileged to have had this job for the last five years, and to have been paid to be gay for the last 18," Foreman said in an interview. "There are so many people who give their hearts and souls to our movement without any compensation or for ridiculously low salaries, and that certainly includes LGBT journalists.

"I'm also overwhelmed with pride in our people," he said. "One thing I hear a lot in my travels is: 'There's no such thing as a gay community. No one's on the same page. In a few years we'll all be assimilated, etc., etc.' I couldn't disagree more.

"Name me one community—or family, for that matter—where everyone agrees and everyone gets along. That's not community, but banality.... No, there's no monolithic gay community, but there are dozens and dozens of communities within our larger movement and they're accomplishing amazing things every day. There's communi-

PlanetOut to sell Advocate, Out, Alyson, Porn Mags PlanetOut Inc. is selling The Advocate and Out magazines—as well as The Out Traveler, HIVPlus, three porn magazines and book publisher Alyson Publications—to an affiliate of the gay TV network here! for $6 million.

The sale price is far less than the $31.1 million PlanetOut Inc. paid for the magazines and book company when it bought LPI Media Inc. and SpecPub Inc. in 2005. PlanetOut Inc. reported a loss of $51.2 million last year.

The company will continue to own and operate Gay.com and PlanetOut.com.

In January, PlanetOut Inc. "retained Allen & Company, LLC to assist the company in evaluating strategic alternatives, including a

possible sale of the company," a press release said.

The corporation also announced in January "that it will no longer be providing quarterly or annual earnings guidance and will not hold quarterly earnings calls."

The porn magazines included in the sale to Regent Releasing L.L.C. are Men, Freshmen and Unzipped.

A fourth SpecPub Inc. porn magazine, known as [2], has ceased publication, but the sale will include the trademark "[2]," PlanetOut Inc. CEO Karen Magee said via e-mail.

N.Y. Governor Supports SameSex Marriage New York Gov. David Patterson said April 7 that he supports legalization of same-sex marriage.

Speaking by video link to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force's awards dinner in Manhattan, Patterson said: "We will push on and bring full marriage equality to New York state. And when we have done that, we're going to do more. We're going to protect young people from bullies. We're going to protect against the discrimination of people in the transgender community, and we're going to fight for decent and affordable health care for all citizens in this state."

"If you will join with me, and if we work hard enough, we can change the face of New York, which will be the catalyst to changing national policy," he said.

Patterson had planned to attend the dinner but was stuck in Albany dealing with budget problems.

Brothers & Sisters Actor Comes Out Actor Luke MacFarlane, who plays Scotty Wandell, the boyfriend of Kevin Walker on ABC-TV's Brothers & Sisters, came out April 15 in an interview with Toronto's Globe and Mail newspaper.

"I don't know what will happen professionally ... that is the fear, but I guess I can't really be concerned about what will happen, because it's my truth," MacFarlane said.

"There is this desire in L.A. to wonder who you are and what's been blaring for me for the last three years is how can I be most authentic to myself—so this is the first time I am speaking about it (being gay) in this way."

The newspaper said Kevin and Scotty will marry each other on the Brothers & Sisters season finale May 11.

Harvey Milk Holiday Bill Passes Committee A bill to make Harvey Milk's birthday a state holiday passed the California Assembly's Education Committee April 23 in a 7-3 vote.

If the measure clears both houses of the Legislature, the date May 22 will become a "nonfiscal" holiday, meaning it should not cost the state money.

"Harvey Milk knowingly risked his life because he believed that by living as an openly gay man he would help achieve full equality for all people," said Equality California Executive Director Geoff Kors. "His courageous leadership and vision has inspired three decades of progress in the fight to protect (LGBT) people across the nation. A statewide day of recognition in his honor would remind us that we all have the power to create positive social change and that we all have the right to live openly and with dignity and respect."

The bill also encourages public schools and educational institutions to teach students about Milk, who often is missing from history lessons.

The bill's author, Assemblymember Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, called Milk "a true American hero who gave hope to a generation of gay and lesbian individuals."

Born in 1930, Milk settled in San Francisco's Castro district in 1972 and opened a camera store. He went on to pioneer a populist gay-rights movement in the city and, in 1977, was elected to the Board of Supervisors, the equivalent of a city council.

Milk was the first openly gay candidate elected in any large U.S. city and only the third openly gay candidate elected in U.S. history -- after Elaine Noble, who was elected to the Massachusetts House of Representatives in 1975, and Kathy Kozachenko, who was elected to the Ann Arbor, Mich., City Council in 1974.

Milk and Mayor George Moscone were shot to death inside San Francisco City Hall on Nov. 27, 1978, by then recently resigned city Supervisor Dan White, who was angry that Moscone wouldn't let him un-resign and that Milk had lobbied Moscone not to reappoint White.

White's lenient sentence for the killings (seven years and eight months with parole) led to the famed White Night Riots in San Francisco on May 21, 1979.

White was convicted of voluntary manslaughter on the grounds of diminished capacity, which, his lawyer argued, resulted from depression exacerbated by eating too much junk food. This unusual argument became known as the "Twinkie defense."

In the White Night Riots, a large crowd of gay people gathered at City Hall the evening of White's sentencing and burned police cars, broke windows of cars and stores, and destroyed the overhead electric wires that power city buses.

More than 160 people were hospitalized as a result of the mêlée.

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E •

May 2 - May 15, 2008

California Assemblymember Mark Leno has authored a bill to make Harvey Milk's birthday a state holiday.

The bill passed an Assembly committee on April 23.

Photo by Rex Wockner

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INTERNATIONAL NEWS

by Rex Wockner with Bill Kelly

Eurovision Attendees Fear Anti-Gay Attacks Far-right groups in Serbia reportedly have threatened to harm the throngs of gay people who typically travel to attend the campy Eurovision Song Contest.

The 53rd extravaganza will be in Belgrade this year because Serbian singer Marija Serifovic won last year's contest, which was held in Helsinki. Fortythree countries have entered the contest, which culminates May 24.

The European Pride Organisers Association has been pressuring the European Broadcasting Union to guarantee the safety of gay attendees, but is dissatisfied with the response it has received.

In a letter to EPOA Human Rights Coordinator Kurt Krickler, the EBU's executive supervisor for the contest, Svante Stockselius, said: "The EBU does not separate our fans into groups based on their religion, colour, sexual preferences or others. We have a guarantee for the safety of delegations, press and fans issued by the president of Serbia. This guarantee includes all."

Krickler wrote back: "We are not really convinced and reassured by the guarantees of the Serbian authorities, including the Serbian president, given to the EBU. ... EPOA wants to stress that we will certainly also hold the EBU accountable and responsible if homophobic incidents of violence occur during and immediately after the ESC as we have explicitly warned you well in advance of the specific situation and the exceptional homophobic attitudes in Belgrade and Serbia. The EBU could hardly pretend they were not alerted and aware of the danger and likelihood of homophobic attacks during the ESC." In an earlier letter to Stockselius, Krickler cited a "poor record of human rights in Serbia in general and regarding the human rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender (LGBT) people in particular."

"In June 2001, the first gay pride march in Belgrade was brutally attacked by a huge violent crowd of nationalist extremists and hooligans; dozens of people were left massively hurt and injured in the streets while the police failed to provide adequate protection," Krickler said, providing a YouTube link to bolster his assertion.

Serbian singer Marija Serifovic won last year's Eurovision Song Contest, so this year's contest is in Belgrade, where far-right groups reportedly have threatened to harm the throngs of gay people who typically travel to the campy extravaganza. ESC photo

Egypt Jails More Men for Debauchery Egypt sent five more men to prison April 9 for "habitual practice of debauchery."

The men, arrested in an ongoing crackdown mostly on HIV-positive people, will spend three years in jail followed by an additional three years when they will have to stay at the police station nightly from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m.

The Netherlands became the first nation to grant gay couples access to full marriage on April 1, 2001. Photo by Rex Wockner

The men were abused, tortured, made to confess and force-tested for HIV after their arrests, according to human-rights groups.

Dutch Marriage Registrars Told Not to Discriminate

Their lawyer has lodged an appeal with Egypt's highest court, the Court of Cassation.

The Netherlands' Equal Treatment Commission ruled April 15 that marriage registrars who refuse to marry gay couples can't marry straight couples either, NIS News reported.

In January, four other men were imprisoned for a year on the same charges.

The nonbinding decision came in a case where a city placed an ad for new registrars that stipulated they be willing to perform both straight and gay weddings.

Euro Court Trans Decision on Lithuania is Final

The commission's rulings are usually upheld by courts.

The commission also ruled April 15 that the feminist magazine Opzij may not discriminate against men in filling editorial jobs.

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Lithuania must implement a process for allowing and funding sex-change operations or pay 40,000 euros ($63,600) to transsexuals who seek the

surgery so they can go to another country to get it, the European Court of Human Rights said April 9.

The determination came in the case of "Mr. L." from the city of Klaipeda.

The 29-year-old was prescribed hormone therapy in 1998 but denied further therapy in 1999 because it was not clear she would have access to a sex-change operation. She continued the therapy on her own and, in 2000, had her breasts removed.

Then, in 2003, a law granted transsexuals the right to gender-reassignment surgery when medically possible, but additional measures that were needed to implement the law were never adopted, and medical facilities to carry out a full female-tomale sex-change operation apparently do not exist in Lithuania.

"It took a few years of efforts for the ECHR to protect her right to change sex, as stipulated in the Civil Code," Mr. L.'s lawyer, Henrikas Mickevicius of Lithuania's Human Rights Monitoring Institute, told the Baltic Times. "The irresponsible conduct of politicians has already cost a lot and may still have a higher price to Lithuanian taxpayers."

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Filipino Docs in Trouble for YouTube Vid Doctors and nurses at the Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center in Cebu City, Philippines, face lawsuits and probable penalties over a YouTube video that showed a medical extraction of an aerosol can from a man's rectum.

A hospital spokesman said making the video for nonmedical reasons and making fun of the patient violated the Code of Conduct and Ethical Standards for Public Officials and Employees.

The patient, known only as Danilo, has said he plans to sue everyone involved in the incident.

In the footage, the doctor who extracted the can of Black Suede body spray shouts "Baby out!" as he removes it. He then sprays the contents of the can at nurses and doctors watching the procedure.

Danilo has said he got drunk, hooked up with a guy, and doesn't remember how the can got inside his rear end.

Police have not figured out who uploaded the video clip to YouTube.

Police Raid Lambda Istanbul Cultural Center A dozen plainclothes police officers raided the Lambda Istanbul Cultural Center April 7. They stayed for two hours, rummaged through everything, and took away documents containing financial and membership information.

The center later learned it had been under surveillance after someone accused it of procuring transgender sex workers and sharing in their earnings.

Lambda denies any such activities and says it will take legal action against the city.

The organization is in the midst of another court case over its right to seek official status after the mayor said the group should be shut down because it threatens family values and public decency. The group has said it will take that case to the European Court of Human Rights if necessary.

Meanwhile, on April 8, the Labrys GLBT community center in Bishkek, capital of the former Soviet republic of Kyrgyzstan, was raided by police who reportedly claimed it was an illegal cruising location.

After an extended standoff and the arrival of reinforcements from both sides, the incident ended without any official action. A play-by-play of the incident is online. See tinyurl.com/46z9k7.

Hundreds Protest Norway's Same-Sex Marriage Plans Several hundred people marched through central Oslo April 12 in opposition to the Norwegian government's plan to legalize same-sex marriage.

Norway has had a registered-partnership law that gives gay couples the same rights as marriage since 1993.

A report in the Aftenposten newspaper said many of the protesters were Christians and Muslims.

The government's minister of children and equality, Anniken Huitfeldt, has said letting gay couples marry "won't weaken marriage as an institution; rather, it will strengthen it."

"Marriage won't be worth less because more can take part in it," she told Aftenposten.

The law would permit same-sex couples to marry in churches, adopt children and receive

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state-funded medical assistance in getting pregnant. It is expected to pass Parliament before summer.

Full marriage is open to same-sex couples in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, South Africa, Spain and Massachusetts. Numerous nations have civil-union or registered-partnership laws that grant same-sex couples some, most or all rights and obligations of marriage.

Uruguay Sees First Civil Union Uruguay's first civil union took place April 17, more than three months after Latin America's first national civil-union law came into force.

Actor Adrián Figuera, 38, and theater director Juan Carlos Moretti, 67, tied the knot before a judge, family and friends.

The couple have been together 14 years.

Couples must live together for five years before they can take advantage of the law, which grants spousal rights in areas that include inheritance, property ownership, pensions, parenting and health care.

The law applies to "two people—whatever their sex, identity, orientation or sexual option may be—who maintain an emotional relationship of a sexual nature [and] an exclusive, singular, stable and permanent character without being united in matrimony."

Other Latin American localities with civil-union laws include the city of Buenos Aires, the Argentine province of Río Negro, the Brazilian state of Rio Grande do Sul, Mexico City, and the Mexican state of Coahuila, which borders Texas.

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Int’l

NEWS

Colombian Court Grants Pension Rights to Gay Couples

Chinese Transwoman Gets New ID Card

Colombia's Constitutional Court ruled that same-sex couples have the right to enroll in pension plans the same as married couples, El Tiempo reported April 17.

A 33-year-old MTF transsexual has become China's first post-op transsexual to go public about obtaining a new state identity card listing her new gender.

"This is yet another incredible victory by the Colombian LGBT rights organization Colombia Diversa, which worked with the Public Interest Group at the University of Los Andes in Bogotá to bring the issue to the court and emerge victorious," said New York City activist Andrés Duque, a Colombian immigrant.

Ying Ning, 33, of Tianjin told the local Daily News that the document "has special meaning for me, that I have been accepted by society. It will be the beginning of my new life."

Last October, the same court ruled that gay people can add their partners to their health-insurance plans.

Same-sex couples must register their unions with a notary before applying for benefits. The ruling covered private insurance and governmentrun health care, known as social security.

In February 2007, the Constitutional Court extended spousal property and inheritance rights to same-sex couples.

In other Colombian news, transsexual Darlyn Acevedo Ramírez, 19, was murdered in Cali on March 23, becoming the 13th transsexual to be killed in the city in the past two years.

She was attacked by a group of men at a traffic circle in the Alfonso López neighborhood, the same location where two of the other killings occurred.

None of the cases has been solved, according to the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, which said more than 3,000 transsexuals live in the city.

Irish Sperm Donor Loses Guardianship Case An Irish gay man who gave his sperm to a lesbian couple he was friends with so they could get pregnant has lost his case seeking guardianship of his two-year-old son, the Irish Times reported April 17.

High Court Justice John Hedigan determined it is best for the boy to remain with his mothers, who, he said, are a de facto family as defined by the European Convention on Human Rights.

Hedigan also stressed that the Dáil, or parliament, should urgently address the dearth of Irish law on the rights of same-sex couples.

Ying said she had recently canceled a vacation for fear that airport security would make trouble over the fact that her appearance and IDcard sex didn't match.

The new card was issued by local police after Ying presented proof of the sex-change operation and permission from her parents for the ID change, which reportedly is required even for adults.

About 1,000 Chinese are thought to have undergone sex-change operations, but no one else has gone public about it, the Daily News said.

Sunday Times columnist Bachi Karkaria accepts an award for her coverage and representation of GLBT people at the inaugural awards of Mumbai's Queer Media Collective, April 19. QMC photo

Media-Monitoring Group Launches in India A gay journalists group has formed in Mumbai, India, to lobby for balanced treatment of gay issues in the media and entertainment industries.

The Queer Media Collective kicked off its activities with an awards ceremony April 19, honoring, among others, the Hindustan Times newspaper, Time Out magazine, NDTV, Zee Café (a TV channel), Mumbai Mirror advice columnist Dr. Mahinder Watsa, Sunday Times columnist Bachi Karkaria, TV reporter Barkha Dutt, filmmaker Reema Kagti, the CNNIBN documentary series The Alternate Sexuality, and, as queer newsperson of the year, Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil, who was disowned by his family for coming out in a news article.

"Barkha Dutt, who got the best-TV-journalist award, is pretty much the most respected TV journalist in the country," said media collective spokesman Vikram Doctor.

Aussie TV Anchor Comes Out Veteran Melbourne, Australia, TV anchorman Peter Hitchener, 62, came out April 6 in an interview with the Sunday Herald Sun. "Given that we are on private issues of private life, I am choosing to share with you today that part of my life that I have not spoken about before: that I am gay," Hitchener said.

"That is part of who I am and with that disclosure, or acknowledgment, I just also need to say I am still the person I was yesterday. I am still the same person and I remain committed to my job and my family and my service and so on.

"I have never been asked about it before," Hitchener said. "There is never a right time, or an easy time, to talk about these personal issues, but this is the right time to say it and to move on."

Hitchener's boss, National Nine News news director Michael Venus, said the network fully supports Hitchener's move.

"I am acutely aware of how difficult a decision this has been for Peter," Venus said. "Indeed I know he has agonized over it for a very long time.

But it is a decision which has our full support and in no way diminishes his standing as one of Australia's preeminent broadcasters."

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PROUDLY PRESENTS

The 12th Annual L.E.G.A.L. International Conference of GLBT Criminal Justice Professionals And National Police Week May 10th to May 15th 2008 George Washington University Conference Center 800 21st Street, NW, Washington, DC 20052 Host Hotel State Plaza Hotel 2117 E Street, NW Washington, DC 20037 1-202-833-6967 FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE VISIT www.midatlanticgoal.org

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BY MADDY DWERTMAN aving first gained notoriety in New York City in 2000 with his one-man show “Dirty Stuff”, gay pop star and TV personality Jonny McGovern garnered international attention as the “gay pimp” with his hit music videos “Soccer Practice”and “Lookin’ Cute/ Feelin’ Cute.”

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In addition to making several appearances on Comedy Central and VH1, McGovern also served as a correspondent on The Ricki Lake Show before being casted on LOGO’s The Big Gay Sketch Show.

He has also recorded three CDs to date: Dirty Gay Hits; This is NYC Bitch: The East Village Mixtape; and Gays Gone Wild. McGovern is currently the host of itunes most popular gay comedy podcast, PA G E 1 4 •

“Gay Pimpin’ with Jonny McGovern.”

His quest for fame will bring him and his entourage, Team Pimp, to Baltimore Pride’s block party on June 21.

Gay Life spoke with McGovern about his podcast, favorite roles on The Big Gay Sketch Show and how his “Gay Pimp” persona has made him one of the most in-demand gay performers in the nation.

Podcasts, CDs, videos, television…. You’ve done a lot over the past few years. How did the podcasting come about?

Well, the first thing that got me noticed was a music video…. I was performing stand up around New York and singing dirty gay musiMay 2 - May 15, 2008

cals. One of the first things I did was The Wrong Fag to F*ck With: The Gay Pimp vs. Eminem. He was ripping on fags and I was upset, but how do you protest Eminem? I figured my best way to protest was to write a dirty musical where the Gay Pimp was a pop star who battled Eminem at the MTV video awards and humiliated him. I started performing it around New York with gay back up tranny dancers as if Gay Pimp really was a pop star. One night, Richard J. Alexander came up to me after a show we were performing called “Dirty Gay Teen Pop Superstars” and asked me to do a video. From there, people began to get to know me.

The podcasts happened by accident. Someone asked me if I had heard of podcasting. I barely

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knew what it was. Now I have over 20,000 subscribers a week. It’s a great thing for me because not everyone can come to see me perform in New York. And, if you want to talk about crazy current celebrity things or personal things, podcasting allows me to do the sketches right when things happen. The immediacy is amazing and it serves as a lab for me to germinate other material. It also really helps me communicate to all of my fans and let them communicate back to me over the Myspace page. …

All of those projects helped get me involved with the producers of the Big Gay Sketch Show…. But I’ve been gaying it up here, there and everywhere. I was a popstar in Japan for awhile. They may not have understood what I was saying, but they did understand the dirty, gay comedy of it all.

How exactly did you get involved with LOGO & the Big Gay Sketch Show?

There was a call out for the show and they expressed interest in meeting me. One of the producers came to meet me at a party I was throwing in New York called “Boys Gone Wild” in this dirty dank changing room of a bar called “Boys Room”. I was with a whole lot of naked go-go dancer boys when they came in.

Eventually they called me to audition…and I finally got in there, but my first meeting with them was in the basement of the “Boys Room” late at night with a bunch of go-go boys changing.

Do you have a favorite sketch?

Two are really my favorites: The first is Chocolate Pudding from “Tranny 911,” which I got to work on with Michael Serrato, who played Heaven. Chocolate Pudding started out as an ex-blaxploitation movie star and through the power of television became a tranny hooker.

And then there’s Tranny Babe Lover who is seen this season in the Chicago-style ghetto yoga class and Jenny Craig commercial. That character came off of Gay Pimpin’.

What happened to your co-star from Tranny 911?

Michael is very busy with all of his own projects and wasn’t able to be part of this season. Lots of people have been asking about him. He’s wonderful…. We’re actually talking to him on my podcast next week.

Who has been the most hilarious cast member to work with on the set?

I love everyone, but from the very beginning me and Julie Goldman hit it off. We call each other the gay and lesbian version of each other. We Both do music and comedy. When we first did the pilot, we’d go outside and be nervous and bond over

being the East Village type in this corporate situation. She’s also one of my favorite comedians.

Kate McKinnon and I are really great friends. We’re trying to put together a summer comedy tour called the Dirty Gay Comedy Tour.

With the three of us together, you know it’s going to be very dirty and very gay.

Did you ever imagine you would be one of the most popular and in-demand out performers in the country?

Oh, I am ready to be more popular.

I’m ready to take it to the top. I spent much of my childhood dreaming I would do this. I pulled out this journal from when I was in the sixth grade where I imagined myself as a star and wrote fake tabloid articles about myself. I also had a fantasy of having feature films with Aretha Franklin and Whoopi Goldberg…. I want to keep getting bigger and reach more and more gay people.

The most pleasurable thing for me is to perform for a gay audience or an audience that gets what I’m doing. I mean the ladies to…I love my lesbros.

ored pair of sneakers will take you far. Bright lemon with some bright lime. Or my favorite hot pink, white and light blue. I’ve got names for mine…Watermelon fried chicken…

Star Light Star Bright….

“Keep it Faggotty” is also coming out next month. And, over the next few years I’ll release a couple “best of” compilations from the podcast.

And I have brand new podcastinspired t-shirts coming out.

What’s next?

Any parting words for your fans?

Next month I’m going to be releasing my new video: “Don’t Fall in a Love with a Homo “(A Song for the Ladies)”. This is my first emotional power ballad. The chorus goes: “I know he does your hair, takes you shopping everywhere, but he ain't going to touch you down there.”

Gay pimp daddy loves you and will give you a nice kiss when I see you!

To view Gay Pimpin’ with Jonny McGovern or for additional information about upcoming releases and shows, visit www.gaypimp.com.

How does one earn membership on “Team Pimp”?

You’ve got to be real tight with the pimp. The team is made up of my few favorite tranny rappers Linda James and Ericka Toure Aviance who are both on the podcast with me; soul singer Adam Joseph; and my number one best friend and diva extraordinaire Maxine Ennis….

You’ve got to be glamorous, dangerous and be down for a whole lot of dirty, gay fun.

When you come to my show, you get everything…you get soul, you get rapping trannies, a screaming black diva and the gay pimp daddy.

Your into fashion. What’s the accessory that you can never go without?

I’ve got to say a bright rainbow col-

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Metropolitan Feast on May 7 to Benefit the Public Justice Center The Public Justice Center in Baltimore pursues progressive, widespread and lasting social change by giving a legal voice to people who have been shut out of or ignored by society. By using coordinated strategies, PJC engages in individual, class action and appellate litigation; legislative and policy advocacy; and public education.

With skillful legal advocacy, longterm commitment to its projects and clients, and strategic advocacy, PJC strives to create a more just society for all individuals.

PJC invites the community to support their work by joining them at the Metropolitan Coffeehouse and Wine Bar in Federal Hill on May 7 for a mid-week soiree. With overthe-top-delicious culinary creations, special selections from the beer and wine list, and a silent auction, it’s a night you won’t want to miss!

Gay Life spoke with PJC’s Legal Director, Debra Gardner, about what brought her to PJC and some of the key youth-related issues that PJC has been working on.

What brought you to PJC? I had worked in poverty law for 16 years…. I was doing a variety of things—housing law, consumer law, family law, cases involving public benefits as well as child advocacy. I was also the Chief Attorney of the Frederick Office of Legal Aid for many of those years and supervised others in the same practice.

You see people running headlong into the same obstacles over and over again, client after client facing the same kind of legal problem. You can defend them and help achieve a resolution for their individual problem, but then you begin to think about ways to solve the larger problem for all of the people in the same boat and to develop strategies to do this.

Federal Law imposes some constraints on what people at legal aid can do. Poor people do not have the right to walk to into federally-funded legal aid programs and get the same kind of services that others can buy from a law firm. They can’t file class action suits,they can’t lobby the general assembly, except under extremely limited circumstances….

Congress also doesn’t want people in prison to have access to a legal aid lawyer for anything. Legal aid does a great job of advocating for systemic change within these con-

straints, but they are very limiting nonetheless.

After 16 years of trying to solve poor people’s legal problems at Legal Aid, I felt I could try a different approach and take the next step in my own professional development as well. PJC has the full range of legal advocacy tools available and it doesn’t have the federal funding that can tie the hands of legal aid offices.

PJC does quite a bit of work around youth and education rights. Why is this such an important area of focus?

A big reason is, like many others, we see education as a key to eliminating poverty. PJC’s most longstanding specific focus in this area has been on homeless children’s education rights. We have worked in several of the major counties in the state to reform their homeless children’s education policies.

We want to ensure that homeless children have the same opportunities for educational achievement and success as other children. They have a right to stay in the same school as they move from shelter to shelter or relative to relative, and be transported by the school system, so that they do not suffer the education regression constant school disruptions would bring. Some of our clients were in four schools in a single school year, before we started working with them. One is now in college.

The McKinney-Vento Homeless Assistance Act is a comprehensive federal law that addresses these issues. And school systems are often well-intentioned, but they may not have good systems in place to identify homeless students, a critical first step. In addition to effective systems and policies, good training of school personnel is essential. Our plan is to bring best practices for enforcement of the full range of homeless kids’ education rights to the entire state.

Baltimore City presents a unique challenge in this regard. There are many homeless youth in Baltimore and the school system has many significant challenges beyond their unique educational needs, but we hope and expect that the city will also be doing right by homeless kids…even as it attempts to solve its other significant problems.

The same federal law is very continued on page 27

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OPINIONS

TRANSMISSIONS

What Do You Mean By This?

by Gwendolyn Ann Smith very so often, I find myself pondering one of the most basic questions I could possibly have when it comes to a transgender column, the question that, at the core of it all, probably matters most: Just what is transgender?

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It’s nearly as difficult to answer as “what is a man and what is a woman?” There isn’t necessarily an easy dictionary definition, or at least one that fits all situations.

Part of the trouble is the history of the word. Initially coined by Virginia Prince more than three decades ago, “Transgender” was initially used to describe someone who, like Mrs Prince, was living full time in the gender of their choice, but stopping

short of medical intervention via surgery or hormones. In short, it was a term that avoided the stigma attached to “transvestite,” while also excluding transsexuality. One might argue this exclusion was due to Prince’s very verbal distaste for transsexuality, or it could aim simply to provide a term that would fit between transvestite (or cross dresser) and transsexual.

As time wore on, the term began to expand. In the early 1990s, while those who lived full time in a preferred gender were adopting the term “transgenderist”, others began to pick up “transgender” as an umbrella term to describe all who transgress the gender of their birth, as well as other gender boundaries.

Take a deep breath…

It’s a busy world, to say the least.

Whenever we find ourselves multi-tasking - whether out of choice, necessity, or habit - our bodies, minds and emotions race in many directions at once.

For many of us, this high-speed, chronically stressful engagement begins the moment we awaken until we collapse back into bed at night.

We can’t sustain this level of constant busy-ness without experiencing negative consequences, and often we find ourselves feeling scattered, depleted, and breathless.

It’s important to create time to slow down and re-center ourselves regularly in order to return to a place of physical, mental, emotional, and subtle balance.

Hatha Yoga practice links deep, regular, soothing breathing with gentle, fluid, mindful movement to return body, mind, emotions, and spirit back to a place of balance and wellness.

Join Certified Yoga Instructors Tim Hurley and Kelly O’Neal each week at the Center for Gentle Beginner Yoga and enjoy the priceless benefits of feeling balanced, centered, and deeply relaxed.

Classes are held on Sundays at 3:30 p.m. and Wednesdays at 7:15 p.m. (please arrive a few minutes early) in Room 201 at the Center.

Classes cost $9.00 each, and a portion of that cost is donated back to the Center.

For more information, check the Programs link at www.glccb.org or call 410-837-5445.

Breathe easy.

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Many transsexuals picked up the term as a rallying cry. At the same time, many cross dressers and transsexuals took to it much like Prince— as a way to avoid the societal stigma otherwise attached to terms like cross dresser and transvestite.

Today, transgender remains an umbrella term, encompassing a wide variety of identities. Yet this is where it gets sticky. Many look at the term “transgender” as somehow synonymous with “transsexual”, while some transsexuals avoid “transgender” like the plague. Some want to reclaim “transgender” with its Virginia Prince roots. Others want the term to apply more to those opting out of a gender binary system and inhabiting a space beyond either traditional gender.

All this makes it very hard to point at someone or something and say “this is transgender.” Not even those of us who inhabit the term can clearly define it.

What I do know is this: I am transgender. I was born into a specific gender. I have since transcended that gender and live within another one. I could, theoretically assume that other people who have followed a similar path to mine could also, likewise, be considered transgender.

Seems easy enough.

I could just as easily be wrong: others like me might prefer to be called a “woman born transsexual”, as someone with “Harry Benjamin Syndrome”, or heck, even a “blue spruce” for all I know. They could simply prefer transsexual, or transgenderist, or third sex, or any number of other cultural-specific terms such as two-spirit, hijira, mahu, and so on.

On top of it all, there are also those who might adopt “transgender” for political purposes, but would not dream of identifying with the term in any other way. There is a political experience with simply tossing the term up. Even if you prefer to consider yourself some other variation of trans, having a quick term to inset into the boilerplate makes it that much easier when discussing ones’ rights.

It’s like the definition of transgender used by the City and County of San Francisco in its landmark transgender-inclusive anti-discrimination ordinance. “‘Transgender’ is used as an umbrella term that includes female and male cross dressers, transves-

tites, drag queens or kings, female and male impersonators, intersexed individuals, pre-operative, postoperative and non-operative transsexuals, masculine females, feminine males, all persons whose perceived gender or anatomic sex may be incongruent with their gender expression, and all persons exhibiting gender characteristics and Identities which are perceived to be androgynous.”

It is a mouthful, but I rather like it. It does its best to acknowledge a wide variety of possible forms of identity and expression in the single word. It does its level best to account for some variation beyond an identity label, and seems conscious of the fact that there is always some identity term that will get lost between the cracks.

This brings up one more wrinkle, though: With so many other terms one can call themselves, with everyone having their own preferred identity, is “transgender” even worth identifying with beyond some vague political need? Is there even need for that term at all, or are there some better words that one can choose? Why not simply refer to “gender identity or expression”, or let our actions define us more than identity? Why not allow for more variance, rather than trying to fit all into a single term? Certainly the phrase “people of color” has not prevented African Americans, Latinos, and Asians—amongst many others—from fighting for individual needs, let alone identifying as they see fit.

Or maybe this is a term we need.

Maybe much like “gay” or “lesbian” has served both as a political term and an identity, “transgender” can do the same for those who fall under its umbrella—regardless of how you choose to express or identify otherwise.

Either way, in an era where transgender comes to the lips of those discussing pregnant men, where Calpernia Addams can bring a Transamerican Love Story into America’s living rooms and when GLBT organizations like the Human Rights Campaign are finding themselves at odds with the “T” in their mission statement, it seems all the more important that we know just exactly what we’re talking about.

Gwendolyn Ann Smith has not been, and will never be, a blue spruce.

You can find her on the web at www.gwensmith.com.

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Maryland Gaming Association, Inc.

by David Placher very now and then, most voters become passionate and energized about some kind of political issue. This political issue is often for or against a certain bill in the legislative branch, voter referendum or candidate running for office. On November 19, 2007, Governor O’Malley signed HB 4, Chapter 5 in the 2007 special session that allows voters to decide in the November 2008 general election on whether to amend the state constitution to expand forms of gambling.

The expansion allows the state to issue one license for each specific geographic area within (1) Anne Arundel County; (2) Baltimore City; (3) Worcester County; (4) Cecil

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County; and (5) on state property located within Rocky Gap State Park in Allegany County. The type of gambling is video lottery terminals (VLT), which are often referred to as slot machines. A slot machine is a mechanical or electronic gaming device into which a player may deposit coins and from which certain numbers of coins are paid out when a particular configuration of symbols appear on the machine. It is important that voters pass this referendum to allow operation of VLTs because it allows a regulated consumer freedom, will create jobs while helping boost area economies and promote a more competitive tourism industry.

I have always been against the idea of government intrusion into people’s lives, unless the intrusion is necessary for public policy reasons or the intrusion is necessary to prevent something that is inherently evil. Public policy reasons, for example, include but are not limited to the government enacting reasonable business zoning laws; limiting certain number of business licenses for specific goods or services in geographic areas; providing consumer protection by enacting consumer disclosures in certain commercial or

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service transactions; and limited experimentation of an industry to determine whether the industry is successful. Voters should pass the referendum because consumers in Maryland should be allowed to determine if they want to voluntarily spend their money in VLTs. Although it is well recognized that sometimes voluntary conduct can transform into addictive conduct, the counterargument is that the state should look at what other states do to help reduce addictive gambling in the regulatory phase of issuing licenses, post passage of the referendum. Voters should trust fellow Marylanders and allow them to reach their own decision on whether or not to spend their own money in VLTs. Other states have recognized that residents of their states and visitors should be allowed to make their own decisions on whether to gamble. There are generally two classifications of casinos that states allow: commercial casino and racetrack casino. A commercial casino is a casino owned and operated by large and small companies. In the United States, there are 11 states that have commercial casinos: Colorado, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri,

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Nevada, New Jersey, and South Dakota. There are eleven states that have racetrack casinos: Delaware, Florida, Iowa, Louisiana, Maine, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and West Virginia. This list does not include the states that have casinos located on Indian reservations. If other state governments allow some form of gaming within their borders, why should Maryland’s current gaming law restriction continue? If a voter is opposed to gambling, they should simply not gamble rather than vote against the referendum.

Local economies will benefit from gaming. It would be unrealistic and illogical for one to argue the opposite.

When casinos open, employees will be needed to operate the business.

Hotels will be required to house the overnight travelers; foodservice will be required to feed travelers. Also, other entertainment will be required for those who do not gamble, but who come to the casino with persons that do gamble. For example, I do not gamble, but my mother does. When I visit my mother, we sometimes go to a casino in Indiana and I usually eat or window shop. If there was a

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OPINIONS

Obama’s Chickens Have Come Home to Roost

them products of the Deep South's black diaspora, was bridged. Look, for better or worse, the reality is that politicians and aspiring politicians sometimes appear to make choices about religion based at least in part on political expediency. ” Obama knew to pander to his base.

by Rev. Irene Monroe eligion plays too important of a role in today’s theater of American politics. Given the collapsing of church and state since Bush came into office how and where and why a presidential candidate worships or not, unfortunately, speaks to his or her electability— which brings us back again to Obama and his pastor.

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While Obama has denounced Rev. Jeremiah Wrights’ incendiary remarks, suspicion, nonetheless, still surfaces about not only his professed faith as a Christian, but now also his electability as president.

The Black Church is a central, powerful and revered institution in the African-American community.

While a community organizer working with local churches on the South Side of Chicago, the Black Church captivated Obama’s attention. Obama says he came to understand "the power of the AfricanAmerican religious tradition to spur social change.” However, suspicion now abounds as people question how much Obama really covets the power of the Black Church for his own political aggrandizement, rather than for its religion.

“When Obama picked a ‘church home’, he chose one that helped him with another weak spot in his biography. Before Obama joined Trinity United, Rev. Wright warned Obama that the church was viewed as "too radical ... Our emphasis on African history, on scholarship...." But Obama joined anyway. With that act, he had become significantly blacker—and more like local voters,” wrote Edward McClelland of salon.com

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“Part of the cultural divide between the half-Kenyan Hawaiian and his Chicago neighbors, most of

But unbeknownst to Obama’s plans to ride Wright’s back long enough to get the needed Christian stamp of approval to win religious voters, his misguided calculations are now like chickens coming home to roost.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright is one of this nation’s most revered African American ministers. He is an iconic image not only of the Black Civil Rights era, but he is also the iconic image of the Black Church, Black Liberation Theology and of today’s Afrocentric churches whose pride is captured in Trinity's motto: Unashamedly Black and Unapologetically Christian.

Trinity's Statement of Faith reads: “Our roots in the Black religious experience and tradition are deep, lasting and permanent. We are an African people, and remain ‘true to our native land’, the mother continent, the cradle of civilization. God has superintended our pilgrimage through the days of slavery, the days of segregation, and the long night of racism. It is God who gives us the strength and courage to continuously address injustice as a people, and as a congregation. We constantly affirm our trust in God through cultural expression of a Black worship service and ministries which address the Black Community.”

However, positioning himself as the post-racial candidate, Obama’s candidacy has done nothing but collide with this nation’s old nagging paradigms and practices of race and racism in America.

Some in the Generation X era, that Obama has successfully wooed, would depict Rev. Jeremiah Wright and his civil rights cohorts as old school Negroes. And, Obama’s address on race in Philadelphia would even suggest that.

“The profound mistake of Reverend Wright’s sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our

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IMHO Part Deux: Looking for Love

onnecting with people online can unearth some really crazy people, like the one who could only make love in a Nazi uniform. Next, please. Or the one who wanted his pet Dachsund to participate in the love-making. Now, I love weiner as much as the next homo, but no thanks. Next! Then there was the right-wing, neo-conservative, born-again, bible-thumper who liked to sit at one end of the hallway, his butt facing me while I rolled cans of baked beans at him. I can’t even

by Mario Fernández begin to understand how contact with canned goods could get someone off, but, hey, whatever! It really does take all kinds and I’m all for whatever floats your boat as long as it’s not illegal (well, at least in most states), whatever happens between two (or more, but then that’s the subject of another column, isn’t it?) consenting adults, and as long as no one is (seriously) hurt. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m just a magnet for freaks.

C

We all have our horror one-night stands, our dates from hell, the ones where you go, “What the hell was I thinking?” and “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” Barbra/God knows I’ve had my share of them. Two of the most memorable were Toe F*cker and Skids.

I met Toe F*cker online; he had a quirky, pseudo-intellectual nerdy thing going on which attracted me. He also had a shaved head, which really attracted me! I loves my man with a shaved head, what can I tell you?

Anyway, we went on a few dates; he seemed nice enough. He was a bit too intense for me, and though he had a very dry sense of humor, he was way too serious most of the time. I thought to myself, “OK, no long-term potential, but might be fun for a month or two.”

So we dated for a few weeks, had nice sex. He actually had the prettiest tool I’ve ever seen and honey, I’ve seen some tools. Big ones, beer can size ones, small ones, gnarly ones. Now, I’m not a size queen; huge ones, in my book, are just not practical. With a big one, it’s like, “What are you going to

do with that thing, jump rope? ‘Cuz, I want no part of it.” I’m not a queen who particularly enjoys being impaled or suffering a case of lockjaw.

Same thing with small ones…

“Think you can hit both sides with that, Junior?”

“It’s so cute, where’s the rest of it?”

“When it grows up, maybe it will be the size of a pack of Lifesavers and, hopefully, just as hard.”

Anyway, back to Toe F*cker…. So one cold night we were getting into it in front of a roaring fire when he turns to me and says, “I’ve got to tell you that I really love feet.”

My antenna immediately goes up, “What do you mean you love feet?”

“I mean that I really love massaging feet and sucking toes. Do you mind if I do that your feet?”

“Dude, if you’re into it, I guess it’s OK. It really doesn’t do much for me, but if you want to suck my toes, have it, knock yourself out!”

So he chowed down on my feet and it was strictly OK. Toe sucking, like nipple play and finger sucking really doesn’t do anything for me. I guess they’re not particularly erogenous zones for me, but hey, who I am to not let someone else get their freak on? Whatever gets you through the night, right?

Anyway, we dated for a few more weeks and after one particularly spitdrenched dinner of my toes, he was clearly worked up.

“Can I ask you something?”, he said between toe licks.

“Sure.”

“I want to try something new with you.”

“OK, as long as it doesn’t involve farm animals and handcuffs because that is so like last month.”

“No, I want you to stick your big toe in my ass.”

“Did I hear you right? Do you want me to toe f*ck you?”

“Yeah, and maybe we can work up to two or three toes!” he said clearly excited.

“Dude, you’ve got to go. There’s no way in hell I’m going to foot f*ck you.

I don’t have fister on my resume; I’m certainly not going to have footer on it either!”

Now on to Skids…this one’s a short story, but to this day every time I run into this queen, I point her out to my friends and tell them, “There goes Skids!” So I picked this Mary up one night at The Eagle (definitely sidewalk sale material). We got to my house and just started macking on each other in the living room. Some clothes were shed; there was gropage going on, more clothes were shed, and suddenly Mary dropped his boxers. I came up for the air, looked down and saw two deep brown fresh skid marks in his boxers. I totally freaked out and screamed out in my nelliest Emmit Honeycutt voice, “Oh, hell no! You got to take those nasty ass drawers and that nasty, skanky ass out of here ‘cuz I’m so grossed out, I’m going to hurl. Yous gots to go!”

Part Tres: Looking for Love Goes International runs May 16, 2008 E-mail Mario at mfernandez@baltimoregaylife.com. Especially if you have a Toe F****er and Skids in your past. And I know you do!

PLACHER - continued from page 19

movie theater within the area, I would probably watch a movie while my mother gambles. Clearly, more businesses will be required to meet various tourist needs and interests.

Moreover, Maryland residents will no longer have to leave the state to gamble to support another state’s economy. Marylanders will be investing in their own state and local economies instead of going out-of-state. This is one of the most important arguments for allowing gaming. Why should a Marylander have to leave and support another state’s economy?

Furthermore, tourism dollars are always competitive. When people select their destinations, they often look to benefits provided in those areas. For someone that likes to play VLT machines, Maryland

would not be an option. Surrounding states, such as Delaware or West Virginia, would be more enticing.

Why should Maryland continue to lose tourist dollars to Delaware or West Virginia? I cannot imagine Maryland gaining tourist dollars by not having VLT machines. Have you ever heard of someone saying, “I WILL NOT visit that state because they DO allow gambling?” If someone makes that argument, it is just laughable.

have a nonprofit trade association. The governor’s hired consultant was luke-warm to the idea and hostile to the thought that they could experience competition for financial support.

Will the Maryland Gaming Association, Inc. be successful?

I think so, but even if it is not, at least I can say I tried to actively participate in the passage of the referendum by doing something, which is better than doing nothing.

Finally, after studying the gambling industry and reading about several of the current Maryland anti-gaming movements, I decided to create the Maryland Gaming Association, Inc. to help promote the voter referendum in November and promote proper regulation of the industry post election. It will be a nonprofit trade association with members. Most states that have legalized gaming

You can visit the web site for the Maryland Gaming Association, Inc. at www.marylandgaming.org.

Editorial coverage will be continued until after the November election…

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E •

May 2 - May 15, 2008

David Placher is an attorney. He enjoys reading, writing, traveling, and exploring the outdoors. His relationship classification is forever single.

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MONROE - continued from page 20

society. It’s that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country—a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black, Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old—is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know—what we have seen—is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope—the audacity to hope—for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.”

While things have shifted a tad for those of us still on the margins of society, the beneficiaries of the change have befallen only to those who come from or have ascended to the upper tiers of society’s socioeconomic ladder. While race still matters as Cornel West’s bestseller of the same title waxes eloquently about, the daily bite and sting of racism is cushioned by class and social upward mobility that gives the illusion, to some, that we are now in a post-racial era, especially in light of presidential hopeful Barack Obama.

ATTENTION Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinions of the GLCCB or Gay Life.

We welcome your letters and opinions. Submissions should include a name, address and phone number for verification and may be edited for content and length. Send submissions by e-mail to editor@baltimoregaylife.com or fax to 410.837.8889 or by mail to Editor, 241 W. Chase Street, Baltimore, MD 21201.

Peter Boyer, in his article in the February 4, 2008 issue of The New Yorker titled ”The Color of Politics: A Mayor of the Post-Racial Generation”, wrote the following explaining this “post-racial” generation of African Americans that includes Barack Obama, Harold Ford,Cory Booker, and my governor Deval Patrick: “Their deeper kinship resides in their identities as breakthrough figures—African American politicians whose appeal transcends race. Men reared in the post-Selma era and schooled at elite institutions developed a political style of conciliation rather than confrontation, which complemented their natural gifts and, as it happens, nicely served their ambitions.”

Shelby Steele best depicts the political style these men employ in his recent book A BOUND MAN: Why We are Excited about Obama and Why He Can't Win. Steels states that in the African American community there are two types of people—a "bargainer" and a "challenger”.

What is a "bargainer" or a "challenger?"

According to Shelby Steele, a “bargainer” strikes a bargain with white America in which they say I will not rub America's ugly history of racism in our face if you will not hold my race against me.

A "challenger", on the other hand, does the opposite of a "bargainer". A "challenger" charges white people with inherent racism and then demands that they prove themselves innocent by supporting blackfriendly polices like affirmative action and diversity So why did Obama give his speech on race?

Was his speech on race to bargain with American voters by assuaging white fear? Did Obama want to tell white America that he is not too black-identified for them not to elect him, especially now knowing of his twenty-year association with Rev. Wright and Trinity Church.

Or, was Obama’s speech on race also to challenge black Americans to vote for him albeit his racial mix, background, and differing ideology because his black presence is enough? In other words, is Obama post-racial to the extent that he will not speak out candidly about this country's legacy and present-day perpetuation of racism that Rev. Wright preaches about?

The term “post-racial”, unlike its lived reality is gaining cultural currency in today’s American lexicon with a younger generation of people of color who, some say, are more

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adept at being “bargainers” and also more amiable to being “bargainers” than "challengers" because they are the progenies of a post- black civil rights era.

However, in trying to save his political career, Obama’s post- racial platform has come back to bite him.

And Rev. Wright is like a bad penny that keeps rolling back into Obama’s life and he can’t get rid of Wright.

By exploiting Wright, the media has used Obama's religious narrative—real and imagined—to capture the public’s attention. And the media’s spin on his pastor is more about this country’s uncritical patriotism predicated on espousing a rhetoric that all is good with and in America rather than addressing its unjust foreign and domestic policies.

When news got out about Wright’s fiery sermons, Obama first said he never heard them, then he recanted by saying he denounced only those objectionable ones. But Wright has now spoken up. And, at the National Press Club, Wright explained Obama’s Orwellian remarks.

“We both know that if Senator Obama did not say what he said, he would never get elected. Politicians say what they say and do what they do based on electability, based on sound bites, based on polls— Huffington, whoever's doing the polls. Preachers say what they say because they are pastors. They have a different person to whom they're accountable. As I said, whether he gets elected or not, I'm still going to have to be answerable to God, November 5th and January 21st.

That's what I mean. I do what pastors do. He does what politicians do.”

Where Obama ran afoul is that he didn't think his involvement with Rev. Wright would collide with his carefully crafted post-racial electable message But maybe there’s a bigger lesson here that Obama is now learning.

And it’s this: Whether he dons the face of a Christian and/or the face of a politician in this bid for the White House, no lie lives forever.

Like chickens, they eventually come home to roost.

A native of Brooklyn, Rev. Irene Monroe is a graduate of Wellesley College and Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University. She served as a pastor at an AfricanAmerican church before a Ford Fellowship took her to Harvard Divinity School for a doctorate.

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5th Annual Gay Pride Weekend in New Hope, PA May 16-18 ew Hope Celebrates (NHC) hosts its 5th anniversary pride weekend May 16-18, 2008. This celebration of New Hope, Pennsylvania's LGBT visitors, friends and neighbors is one of only a handful of pride festivals in the country with the principal goal of raising money to serve needs within the community. This year’s beneficiaries include: Fighting AIDS Continuously Together (FACT) Bucks County; Philadelphia FIGHT; Trevor Project and Philadelphia’s William Way Community Center.

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Highlights of the weekend include live performances by groundbreaking comedienne Suzanne Westenhoefer, folk-funk musician Christine Havrilla and dance chart favorite Kristine W. NHC is also partnering with Planned Parenthood Association of Bucks County's Rainbow Room to host Sing Out Loud and Proud 2008, an entertainment showcase featuring "dragapella beautyshop quartet" The Kinsey Sicks.

“Our 5th anniversary weekend will be one of the best yet as we continue to celebrate our town's diversity and inclusive spirit," explains Louis Licitra, Chair of the New Hope Celebrates Pride Weekend. "As always, NHC will host great dance parties and extraordinary entertainment, but we'll also demonstrate our equality through our 2nd annual pride parade through town, and welcome a wide audience through a softball tournament, art displays, a vendor fair and a family fitness event."

Home of the famed Bucks County Playhouse and such popular nightspots as The Raven Resort, Triumph Brewing Company and The Nevermore Hotel, New Hope has long been lauded for its acceptance of the gay community. The New Hope Borough Council is recognized as one of the first municipalities in Pennsylvania to pass an antidiscrimination law, as well as a resolution in favor of same-sex marriages. Situated along the banks of the scenic Delaware River, New Hope is the perfect getaway destination for all ages and interests.

This sophisticated yet relaxed, country town just a short drive north of Philadelphia and a train ride from New York City, offers unique shopping; live music and theatre; historic barge, train and horse-drawn carriage rides; museums, art galleries and antiques shops; fine restaurants and casual fare; plus romantic bed & breakfasts and family-friendly hotels—all within one square-mile.

New Hope Celebrates is a nonprofit GLBTA tourism marketing organization of the retail, hospitality, professional and local community. The organization is hosted by the Greater New Hope Chamber of Commerce and endorsed by the New Hope Borough Council. As of Fall 2007, NHC has donated nearly $50,000 to such organizations as Fighting Aids Continuously Together (FACT: Bucks County), the New Hope Flood Relief Fund, the Human Rights Campaign and Planned Parenthood Association of Bucks County's Rainbow Room. Sponsorship opportunities and grant applications are available through the Delaware Valley Legacy Fund..

For additional information about New Hope Celebrates Pride Weekend, visit www.newhopecelebrates.com.

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E •

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CALENDAR COMMUNITY

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Friday May 2

Brothers of Baraza Men of Color Discussion Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7:30-9 p.m.

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Narcotics Anonymous

Positive Influence

Sunday Men’s Rap GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.na.org 11:30 a.m.

LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Sailaway Pride Night Weather Rail Bar Loews Hotel 126 West St. Annapolis, MD 5-9 p.m.

Kristy Hanson

Social Activity (Varies)

Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/ readstreetbooks 8 p.m.

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 1-6 p.m.

Saturday May 3 Arts & Crafts

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 4:30-6 p.m.

Movie & Game Night Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-8:30 p.m.

New Image (Narcotics Anonymous) LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6-7:30 p.m.

Patty Keough Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/ readstreetbooks 8 p.m.

Sufficient As I aM (SAIM) Youth & Young Adults 24 & Under GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 12:30 p.m.

Sunday May 4

Beginners Yoga with Tim Hurley, RYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 3:30 p.m.

Monday May 5

Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.aa.org 8:30 p.m.

Tuesday May 6

Alcoholics Anonymous LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30 - 7:30 p.m.

Dual Recovery Anonymous Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Chesapeake Squares Club Square Dance Waxter Center 1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.chesapeakesquares.org 8-10 p.m.

Consumer Planned Activity Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 4-6:30 p.m. & 7:308:30 p.m.

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Wednesday May 7

Beginners’ Yoga with Kelly D. McClain, CYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 7:15 p.m.

Gay Bingo (to benefit GLCCB & Aids Action) Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-547-0069 8:30 p.m.

Power Inside Women’s Rap Power Inside Office 325 E. 25th St., 1st floor Baltimore, MD 21218 3-4:30 p.m.

Rapscallion Radical Art Collective 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 http://www.rapscallionart.org 7 p.m.

‘Tini Lounge Happy Hour GG’s Restaurant & Martini Bar 41 N. Potomac St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 4:30-10:00 p.m.

Thursday May 8

Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.aa.org 8:30 p.m.

JUMP (Just Us Making Progress) Confidential HIV Support Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7-8:30 p.m.

Support Group for

GIG: Tran*quility

Individuals with Mental Health Issues Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.transworld.org 8 p.m.

Trans-United Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6-8 p.m.

Women of Color Group GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 7:30 p.m.

Friday May 9

Brothers of Baraza Men of Color Discussion Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7:30-9 p.m.

Gay Fathers Coalition GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-5445

Russ Haire as duo / The Peace Junkies Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/r eadstreetbooks 8 p.m.

Saturday May 10 Arts & Crafts

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 4:30-6 p.m.

Erene Mastrangeli Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD http://www.myspace.com/r eadstreetbooks 8 p.m.

GIG: Baltimore TransMasculine Alliance GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.myspace.com/btma 6 p.m.

May 2 - May 15, 2008

HagerstownTGs Hagerstown, MD 21740 groups.yahoo.com/group/H agerstownTGs TerriLeeTG@yahoo.com 7 p.m.

Movie & Game Night Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-8:30 p.m.

New Image (Narcotics Anonymous) LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6-7:30 p.m.

Spiral Womyn’s Music Showcase Spiral Dance Womyn’s Center 2505 E. Oliver St. Baltimore, MD 21213 www.thespiraldancebookstore.com 7-9 p.m.

Sufficient As I aM (SAIM) Youth & Young Adults 24 & Under GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 12:30 p.m.

Sunday May 11

Narcotics Anonymous Sunday Men’s Rap GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.na.org 11:30 a.m.

Sailaway Pride Night Weather Rail Bar Loews Hotel 126 West St. Annapolis, MD 5-9 p.m.

Social Activity (Varies) Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 1-6 p.m.

Monday May 12 Men Like Me

Open Support Group GLCCB, Room 202 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 menlikeme@glccb.org 6 p.m.

Tuesday May 13

Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 7:15 p.m.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Gay Bingo (to benefit GLCCB & Aids Action) Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-547-0069 8:30 p.m.

LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Dual Recovery Anonymous Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Harford Rainbow Society Dinner

Chesapeake Squares

‘Tini Lounge Happy Hour GG’s Restaurant & Martini Bar

Email Calvin for Location Bel Air, MD 21014 harfordrainbow@gmail.com 6:30 p.m.

Club Square Dance Waxter Center 1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.chesapeakesquares.org 8-10 p.m.

Consumer Planned Activity Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 4-6:30 p.m. & 7:30-8:30 p.m.

PFLAG Columbia/Howard County Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way Columbia, MD 7:30-9 p.m.

Positive Influence LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Rainbow Youth Alliance Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way Columbia, MD 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday May 14

Beginners’ Yoga with Kelly D. McClain, CYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St.

41 N. Potomac St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 4:30-10:00 p.m.

Thursday May 15

Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.aa.org 8:30 p.m.

JUMP (Just Us Making Progress) Confidential HIV Support Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 www.theportalbmore.org 7-8:30 p.m.

Support Group for Individuals with Mental Health Issues Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle Street Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 www.heartsandears.org 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Women of Color Group GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 7:30 p.m.

Confidential HIV/STI Testing & Counseling GLCCB

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 5-8 p.m.

241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-5445

HERO Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday 9 a.m.-1 p.m., 2-4 p.m.

Thursday 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

1734 Maryland Avenue Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-1180

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Housing for Baltimore’s Homeless Youth Declines with the Closure of Fellowship of Lights n Monday, April 21, after 38 years of service and commitment to Baltimore youth, Fellowship of Lights (FOL) announced that it would permanently close by the end of the week. It suspended services at its boys’ home, Harris House, a year ago, and funding problems finally forced the closure of the girls’ home, Peggy’s Place. All of the residents were transferred to other residential programs or reunited with their families.

O

Licensed to provide 19 beds of emergency shelter and short-term foster care group homes for boys and girls 12 to 18 years old, FOL has served nearly 10,000 youth over the years. Homeless and displaced youth are exposed to numerous health risks, including sexually transmitted diseases, high rates of current substance use, pregnancy, depression, suicidal ideation, and sexual abuse. FOL has helped to provide these youth with shelter and supportive services that lead to a more stable living situation.

"We are unable to sustain our operations based on the number of referrals we receive from juvenile services and child welfare," Ross Pologe, executive director for the past 31 years, told The Sun. The shelter was funded through state reimbursements for temporarily housing homeless youths, primarily teenagers.

Those who work with homeless youth, however, do not believe that there has been a decline in the number of homeless youth or the need for temporary shelters. Executive director Ross Pologe will continue as coordinator of the Baltimore Homeless youth Initiative, a coalition of youth-serving organizations currently working to identify existing resources for homeless youth and fill gaps in housing and services for Baltimore’s homeless youth.

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strong on protecting unaccompanied youth in pursuing their school rights. If they are under 16, the school system is supposed to try to hook them up with child welfare. If they are over 16, they are supposed to be able to assert the same school rights even if they are not accompanied by a parent or guardian…. Kids who are living in shelters, who are staying with relatives or living on the street…a lot of gay youth end up in these situations and this same law protects them.

We want school systems to work with us towards effective solutions.

What other types of youth-focused issues has PJC been involved in this past year?

Another very significant effort we had going on involves expanding access to dental care for children under the Medicaid program. That has been very successful and impacted a lot of people. One piece of that effort was approval of funding to raise Medicaid reimbursement rates for dentists in order to encourage increased participation by den-

tists, thus increasing treatment provided to children receiving this public health insurance.

We also worked to pass a bill that will allow dental hygienists to provide screenings, cleanings and other preventive dental care in schools and public health clinics without the immediate supervision of a dentist.

That frees up this group of professionals to provide the kind of dental care they can provide without the bottleneck of having to have a dentist nearby.

What are some of the highlights of this year’s fundraiser at Metropolitan Coffeehouse & Wine Bar? It’s a celebration where people get together to eat fabulous food and drink fabulous wine and bid on wonderful items in a silent auction.

It’s not a program event, just a rollicking good time.

For additional information about the Public Justice Center and the upcoming Wine Dinner, visit www.publicjustice.org.

you thinking?

What are

editor@baltimoregaylife.com Photo: Filmena Abbene

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DINING OUT The Owl Bar

By John Cullen and Marty Shayt hen it opened in 1903, the Belvedere Hotel was reputedly the grandest hotel in Baltimore. (It was later converted into condos and mixed restaurant/ catering space in 1991.) Tucked away at the back of the still grand hotel lobby, the Owl Bar opened around the same time. According to the restaurant manager, its original appearance remains relatively unchanged. With walls of intricate brickwork patterns, elegant woodwork and soaring ceilings, this is an extraordinary space. Over the bar hangs a series of stained glass panels that offer the adage: “A wise old owl sat on an oak. The more he saw the less he spoke. The less he spoke the more he heard….” During prohibition, the eyes of the owls would light up and blink to warn “regulars” about approaching police!

W

We’ve found that the main bar/dining room area can get noisy and sometimes interrupt conversation. If you’re willing to forego the hustle and bustle of the main big room, ask for a table in the anteroom that you pass thru on the way to the bar. (Though close by and plenty atmospheric, it’s much quieter, and the parade of people to and from the main room provides eye-candy!)

Our dining experience started off on a high note when the waiter (who was tall and very “GQ”!) brought over hot fresh breadsticks for us to nibble on when he brought out drinks. The menu offers many varieties of pizza (Marty recommends!), burgers and sandwiches ($8-12 including choice of fries, side salad or fruit salad!) and a fair number of entrees ($16-25). We enjoyed receiving a printed list of the evening’s “specials”. (Why don’t all restaurants do this?) Our friends ordered entrees: “Chicken under a Brick” ($17) and “Grilled Ahi Tuna” ($17) and both started with house salads ($4.50). Marty voted for a “Rachel Pannini” ($12)—a variation of the standard deli “Reuben”— with fries. Under-whelmed by the choice of dinner salads, John opted for a “Grilled Tuna Wrap” ($10) with a side salad.

The salads arrived big and full of dark greens and veggies! (I wondered, however, why our friends had to pay $4.50 for the same salad

to go with their $17 entrée when mine was included at no extra cost with my $10 wrap.) When the entrees arrived, they elicited “WOWS”…. Marty’s “Rachel” sandwich was gargantuan—easily 5”+ high and looking like 3 sandwiches full of hot cheese and meat piled on top of each other and partnered with a separate big plate of hot French fries. Marty gobbled down his fries with gusto, and claims that the other 2/3 of his monster sandwich that he took home provided two extra meals!

(John believes him!!!) The “Chicken under a Brick” was half a chicken flattened and served on top of a huge (too huge!) mound of mashed potatoes! The Ahi tuna entrée looked equally tasty. John’s wrap was small by comparison, but it arrived full of still warm grilled tuna—a bargain considering that it came with the large “side salad”’ for $10. With the amount of food that disappeared off these plates, there was no doubt that all of us were happy with what we ordered!

Amazingly, our friends had room for dessert, and our waiter suggested some Italian gelato (Chocolate Hazelnut and Dulce de Lecce), both of which were incredibly rich and smooth! (A spoonful had to be at least 1,000 calories!) We fondly remember an incredible piece of chocolate fudge cake ($8) that, even after 4 people had their full, left a chunk as big as you would be served to start with at other places!

(If you’re on a budget watch out though for the desserts and drinks—Gelato ($7), Martinis ($10) and Wines ($8-10 glass) can quickly bump up the cost of your outing!)

If you want a peek of turn-of-the 18th-century Baltimore and a enjoy delicious meal, the Owl Bar is a “must try”. (If you’re like us, you’ll be back!). And, remember to allow some time to take in the photos and historical material in the lobby!

Basics: Owl Bar (Mt Vernon) 1 E. Chase St (corner of Charles), 410-347-0888, http://www.trufflescatering.com/owlbar/i ndex.html; Open: 11:30 a.m. – 11 p.m.

Mon-Thurs, 11:30 a.m. – 12 p.m. FriSat, bar stays open until 2 a.m. after kitchen closes. Weekends can be packed and reservations are a good idea! Parking in Mt. Vernon can be a challenge!

Do you have feedback or know a place we need to check out? Email us at diningout@baltimoregaylife.com

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Illustration by Sydnei SmithJordan, adversecreations@yahoo.com

FICTION Cereal: The Adventures of Pico Darling

by SIR. Robinson omething hit me on my cheek.

I swatted at it, turned over on my side, and searched for more sleep. It hit again, softer this time. I peeled open my eyes to see that the sun had yet to rise.

It was dark in the room. I resealed them and shifted again.

S

It hit me on my neck. I scratched there. Then, my shoulder. I huffed, frustrated. A weight pressed down on my stomach. It was a hand. A hand?

A HAND! In an instant, I was fully awake. It all came rushing back to me where I was, where I had been and whose hand that was now pulling up my shirt to touch the skin of my belly.

I hadn’t been swatting at bed bugs. I now knew, they were kisses.

The best thing to do was to pretend to stay asleep, I thought, that way whatever was happening had the possibility of continuing. I tried hard to steady my breathing. I pushed my belly out and sucked it in on counts of eight. I fought my eyeballs to be still. Another kiss on the neck.

Another hand traced my forehead.

I could have cum right then, but instead I turned into the body next to me and nestled my face into its chest. As I did, that hand on my belly slid into my trousers. Once inside, the fingers played, pulled, and tugged ever so tenderly on hair there. I recommitted to the idea of playing sleep.

Then came the tonguing to which I yielded in the most obvious of ways by rolling onto my back, arms and legs stretched out flat, exposing all of me and inviting all of her at the same time. She licked. At first her tongue was rough and grainy but as the spit built, it slipped its way from my wrists to my armpits, across my chest and up and down my neck in the sexiest of fashions. Then the licking stopped. An even greater weight lifted onto my belly. Warm thighs, a soft ass and wetness straddled me. I covered my face with my hand. I breathed deep. Just as she grabbed to place me inside of her, just as I was to stop f**king around, to open my eyes and stare into her hers, just as I was to flip her over, throw her down and give her the best sex I could muster, a familiar voice called out.

“What the f*ck is going on?”

I stretched my lids as wide as I could in the direction of it, but I

couldn’t see.

“I can’t believe you,” it said.

Suddenly the lights flashed on.

Immediately, I located the voice and the person to whom it belonged. It was Heather. Standing against the door, in leggings and a track shirt, dripping sweat, she ripped the headband from her head. “You’re quite the lover, aren’t you?” She said annoyed, but not angrily.

“Okay, wait…wait…okay…wait, Heather, I can explain,” was my default response to her question.

And on occasions such as these, when I found myself caught in an act, any act á la gauche, I truly believed that I could explain it away, but this time, I really couldn’t.

Wasn’t that Heather with whom I had fallen asleep and Heather whose hair had become a jungle I was lost in that night and Heather whose drool had pooled in the small of my back and Heather whose arms held me tight when I briefly awoke from a terror? It was Heather who had woken me up with her kisses. So how could it be that Heather was now standing in the doorway and not sitting on top of me?

I took hold of the kneecaps at my sides for an answer. They didn’t feel like the ones I had held in my tight palms during a spoon. Then the thighs—they weren’t the ones that had been draped from my crotch to my shins for half of the night. That certainly wasn’t her ass either. Those weren’t Heather’s hand on my chest; those weren’t her thin arms or her protruding collarbone. That wasn’t her face. It was April Hayword’s. “”Heather,” April said jumping off of me and marching toward her.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Heather said, waving her away.

I sat up on my elbows in the bed and watched intently what was happening at the threshold of the bedroom.

“Don’t pretend to be upset. Be upset!” April demanded.

“I’m not,” Heather replied, looking April’s naked body up and down and back up again before she pushed off through the door and into another room. April followed her. I followed them both, leaping from the bed while pulling up my pants and shoving down my shirt.

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“Then what’s the matter?” April said.

“Other than the fact that you’re f**king my guest in my bed, nothing.” Heather sneered back, turning her lip up.

before it. She looked as if she were ready to burst into tears. I kissed her on her cheek and shrugged. She forced a weak smile then kissed my cheek back.

“Pico! Now!”

“So you’re upset?”

I hustled out the door.

“What difference does it make?”

***

“Say anything! Say something! You can’t go around ignoring me forever like you’ve been doing all week on set.”

We were in the limo again. Heather pulled the same big duffle bag from under the seat and searched it hurriedly, muttering while she did. “Put this on,” she said as she flung a faded orange t-shirt at me. I caught it and placed it on the seat next to me.

Heather rolled her eyes and turned from her.

“Heather, I swear, I thought she was you.”

That’s where I knew her! April Hayword plays Natalie, jilted lover of Rachel, played by Heather, on that dyke show! I was shocked, standing in the corner, watching the live-action quarrel. April moved closer to Heather, taking Heather’s face in her hands. Heather gave in, that is of course, until she got a whiff of the sex staining April’s fingers. She cast April aside and headed for the door. “Pico, lets go!” she shouted behind her.

She muttered and pulled a pair of jeans from the bag. She threw them at me too.

I scurried as if commandeered by a million ants to follow her through the door. I met April three steps

I did as she said. I took off my old trousers and put on hers. I looked to

“A world of difference!”

“I don’t know what you want me to say!”

May 2 - May 15, 2008

“Heather, I would never. I don’t even think she’s cute. Well, not that cute. She’s kind of weird looking.

Anyway, don’t you remember last night? When we slept? That was me and that was you.”

“Change,” she said back to me without looking up from the bag.

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CEREAL - continued from page 29

see if she was looking. She was not. I pulled off my shirt and nakedly reached for hers. I hoped that she was looking. She was not.

The limo stopped abruptly.

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perfect kiss on the lips. In three seconds she pulled away and smiled. I kissed her a thousand more times on her cheeks and neck and shoulders where she tasted salty. She giggled and pushed me away. “You’ll be late for your flight.”

“Someone will be at the airport in Chicago to meet you,” she said suddenly.

“Will I see you again?” I asked, trying to get at her more.

The driver pulled open the car door next to me. I waited for her to say something else. She didn’t, so I made moves to exit. Just as my legs hit the pavement, but before I could stand up in the outside air, a yank on a belt loop at the back of the jeans pulled me back in. I tumbled into the seat next to her. She took me by the shoulders and put her forehead against mine. She took a big breath.

She leaned further in and gave me a

She kept me at arms length, “You better.” She winked and I melted into a puddle of lovely purplely stuff that slid out of the car, through a security checkpoint and onto flight 593 headed for Chicago.

Want to see Pico go places you've only dreamed of? Send your thoughts to Picodarling@gmail.com. This serial will continue in the next issue

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PENCIL ME IN CenterStage Annual Benefit Gala Saturday, May 10

Broadway Star Lillias White headlines CenterStage’s 22nd annual benefit gala. A dynamic and multitalented performer, she is a recipient of the Tony, Drama Desk, Peoples’ Choice, and Outer Critics Awards for her role as Sonja in the The Life. With dinner, dancing and a silent auction, it is the theatre’s largest event of the season. For tickets and additional information, visit www.centerstage.org..

Through Sunday, May 4 Equality Forum 2008

The 16th annual Equality Forum in Philadelphia, which kicked off on April 28, continues through the weekend. Featuring 23 panels from Friday to Sunday, Equality Forum is the largest annual national and international GLBT civil rights forum. The weekend of festivities culminates with Sunday OUT!, Philadelphia’s largest annual LGBT street festival with over 100 artisans, vendors, music and live entertainment. Equality Forum has no registration fee and all substantive programs are free. For specific information about parties and panels, visit www.equalityforum.com.

Friday, May 2

tary Faith Without Fear at University of Pennsylvania’s Meyerson Hall (34th & Walnut Sts., Philadelphia, PA). This powerful documentary follows her as she travels the Arabian peninsula in an attempt to reconcile her faith with her love of freedom. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the screening begins at 7 p.m.

Wednesday, May 7

Ameriprise Financial Planning Seminar Did you know that people are more likely to succeed in achieving their financial goals when they discuss and make a plan to attain these goals? Ameriprise will offer a free financial planning discussion on Estate Planning Strategies and Charitable Giving at the GLCCB (241 W. Chase St., Baltimore, MD) from 6-8 p.m. The session will focus on what you can do to take control of your estate plan, and will provide options to help reduce your estate taxes and preserve more of your estate for your heirs. Ways to help achieve your charitable goals to make a difference in your community will also be discussed. Participants will have the opportunity to schedule a FREE in-office consultation with Ameriprise.

Thursday, May 8

Tweakers Screening at E St. Cinema The DC Crystal Meth Working Group invites you to a free screening of the film Tweakers at 7 p.m. at the Landmark E-Street Cinema (555 11th Street NW, Washington, DC). Based on a series of true events, the film features stories of those who have battled crystal meth addiction and won and those who continue to struggle. The screening will be followed by a panel discussion featuring Director Jimmy Palmieri.

Saturday, May 10

CenterStage Annual Benefit Gala

King & Queen of Pride Pageant

(see sidebar)

The 2008 Baltimore Pride season will kick off with one its oldest traditions. Three celebrity judges, joined by two randomly selected audience judges, will bestow the titles of King & Queen of Pride this year at Grand Central (1001 N. Charles St., Baltimore, MD).

Not only will the newly crowned King & Queen of Pride take their place in the Pride Parade and perform on the main stage at the Block Party and Festival, but they will also attend pre-Pride events to represent and generate excitement around Baltimore Pride, as well as promote Baltimore Pride year round. For additional information, visit www.baltimorepride.org.

Sandra Bernhard Live The Hippo (1 West Eager St., Baltimore, MD) hosts two performances by comedian and actress Sandra Bernhard at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. A Champagne Reception, which will feature an appearance by Ms. Bernhard, will be held at 7 p.m. Proceeds from the evening will benefit AIDS Action Baltimore. For tickets ($100 – reception & 8 p.m. show; $55 - reserved seating [sold in tables of four]; $30 for standing room), visit www.aidsactionbaltimore.org.

Saturday, May 3

Station North Artists Flea Market The Station North Artists Flea Market is back again this year at a great new permanent location right at the Howard Street bridge in the burgeoning Station North Arts and Entertainment District. With free parking, more vendors, more visibility and more of everything, you surely want to put this on your list of places to check out on the first Saturday of each month from 9 a.m.–2 p.m. For additional information, visit http://www.loadoffun.net/FleaMarket.html.

Faith Without Fear Muslim writer and filmmaker Irshad Manji will be host a free screening her acclaimed PBS documen-

St. Mary’s Annual Plant Sale Just in time for Mother’s Day, St. Mary’s Episcopal Church (5610 Dogwood Road, Baltimore, MD) will hold its first annual Plant Sale from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. (rain or shine!). The Baltimore County Department of Environmental Protection and Resource Management will be on site with information about “The Growing Home Campaign.” Remember: Grow Greener! Grow Together!

Saturday, May 10 – Thursday, May 15

Mid-Atlantic GOAL International Criminal Justice Conference The Mid-Atlantic Gay Officers’ Action League will gather in D.C. to promote diversity, acceptance and non-discrimination while providing a network for education, support and collegiality among gay and lesbian law enforcement officers and other criminal justice professionals. Highlights of the week will include a workshop facilitated by Greg Miraglia, author of Coming Out From Behind the Badge, and a keynote speech by Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard.

For additional information and to register, visit www.midatlanticgoal.org

Sunday, May 11 The Voice of Pride

Since 2005, Voice of Pride has discovered amazing singing talent right here in our local community. Come out to the Hippo (1 W. Eager St., Baltimore, MD) at 9 p.m. to vote for the best new singer in Baltimore! The winner of Voice of Pride winner will perform on the main stage at the Baltimore Pride Block Party on June 21 in front of thousands of fans. For additional information, visit www.baltimorepride.org.

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THEATER The Loman family: Rick Foucheux as Willy, Tim Getman as Hap, Nancy Robinette (back) as Linda and Jeremy S. Holm as Biff in Death of a Salesman at Arena Stage in Crystal City through May 18.

ON THE STAGE 1776 Through May 18 Olney Theatre Center 301-924-3400 www.olneytheatre.org

Death of a Salesman Through May 18 Arena Players, Washington, DC 410-728-6500 www.arenastage.org

Antony and Cleopatra Through July 6 The Shakespeare Theatre Company, D.C. 877-487-8849 www.shakespearetheatre.org

The Happy Time Through June 1 Signature Theatre, Arlington 703-820-9771 www.signature-theatre.org

Art May 21 through June 29 Everyman Theatre 410-752-2208 www.everymantheatre.org The Child Behind the Curtain Through May 11 Howard County Community College Student Arts Collective www.howardcc.edu/studentarts The Church Through May 11 Arena Players, Baltimore 410-728-6500 http://arena-players.strategiccommercegroup.com/

The History Boys Through May 4 Studio Theatre, D.C. 202-332-3300 www.studiotheatre.org

Jeannette Bayardelle as Celie and LaToya London as Nettie in The Color Purple at The Hippodrome through May 18.

(Photo: Paul Kolnik)

These Shining Lives Through June 1 CenterStage 410-332-0033 www.centerstage.org Variations on Power Through May 18 Theatre Project, Baltimore 410-752-8558 www.theatreproject.org

The Internationalist May 14 through June 22 Studio Theatre, D.C. 202-332-3300 www.studiotheatre.org Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Through June 8 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Columbia 410-995-1969 www.tobysdinnertheatre.com

The Color Purple Through May 18 Hippodrome Theatre 410-547-SEAT www.broadwayacrossamerica.com

Julius Caesar Through July 6 The Shakespeare Theatre Company, D.C. 877-487-8849 www.shakespearetheatre.org

Company May 16 through June 21 Maryland Ensemble Theatre, Frederick 301-694-4744 www.marylandensemble.org

Kimberly Akimbo Through May 18 Vagabond Players, Baltimore 410-563-9135 http://www.bcpl.net/~thevag/ PA G E 3 2 •

A New Brain Through May 17 Audrey Herman Spotlighters Theatre, Baltimore 410-752-1255 www.spotlighters.org

A View from the Bridge Through May 18 Arena Players, Crystal City, VA 410-728-6500 www.arenastage.org The Visit Through June 22 Signature Theatre, Arlington 703-820-9771 www.signature-theatre.org

Cast from The Child Behind the Curtain at Howard Community College through May 11. (Photo: Nichole Ward)

Wizard of Oz Through June 8 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Baltimore 410-995-1969 www.tobysdinnertheatre.com The Woolgatherer Through May 4 Fells Point Corner Theatre, Baltimore 410-276-7837 www.fpct.org

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QPUZZLE Embracing Billie Jean

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Across

Down

1 Key West storm prelude 5 Go lickety-split 10 La ___ aux Folles 14 Diva's piece 15 Score for Billy Bean 16 Cumming on The L Word 17 Actor Adams 18 Train that comes quickly 19 Diana of _The Avengers_ 20 Proposing marriage in Massachusetts?

23 Parts of hard heads 24 "A Couple of Guys" panels 28 When queening usually occurs 31 Lip-smacking 32 Cut it 35 Did Rex Reed's job 36 Engaging a Harper Lee character?

41 Discharge from the military 42 Delivered a mouthful, perhaps 43 Filmmaker Kenneth's family 45 Bygone queen 51 Setting of Sal Mineo's Exodus 54 Carries on 55 Tab Hunter's bloopers?

58 Steady guy 61 Big name in the Bears' hometown 62 What Sam twitched on Bewitched 63 Arab head 64 Dangerous emission for Tin Man 65 Love of Lesbos 66 Starting scale notes, for Maria 67 Came before 68 Longs, to a Samurai?

1 Bite at a GLAAD gala 2 Come to mind 3 Pleasured orally 4 With 47-Down, having sex with a blues icon?

5 Do Austin Powers 6 A little, to Leonard Bernstein 7 What Southern Voice editors do to text 8 Lurer of phallic fish 9 Works of Tennessee Williams 10 Rio festival 11 He knocked out many men 12 Type of reflex test for WWII soldiers 13 W. H. Auden's tongue 21 Top-secret org.

22 Lammy, for one 25 Grace ___ 26 Joel of Cabaret 27 Site of Gay Games VI (abbr.)

29 1,101 to Caesar 30 Many, many moons 33 Org. of athletes that Sheehan doesn't swing with 34 Author Marcus 36 Ruination 37 Poet Broumas 38 Kiss Me Kate opening 39 Land of Margaret Cho's ancestors 40 Woodworker's tool 41 ___ Francisco 44 You wear it with a thong down low 46 Leather sticker 47 See 4-Down 48 Pay no attention to 49 Liam of Kinsey 50 Evaluate asses?

52 Emulate Toller Cranston 53 Like some baths 56 Straight, in a bar 57 Sandwich for Socrates?

58 ___ death (loss of interest) 59 Oddball comedian Philips 60 Earhart's medium

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Award-winning Comic Brings Laughter to Columbia Festival of Arts: An Interview with Paula Poundstone

amous for her sharp wit and improvisational style, comedian Paula Poundstone has kept audiences laughing since she entered into the Boston comedy scene in 1979. The first woman to receive the Cable ACE award for her one-hour HBO special, “Cats, Cops and Stuff”, in 1990, Poundstone has since made several television appearances on various shows, including Saturday Night Live and the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, which led to her own show on ABC named The Paula Poundstone Show. She is also a regular panelist on NPR’s weekly news program, “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me”.

F

In 2006, Poundstone released her first book, There’s Nothing in This Book that I Meant to Say. An avid reader, Poundstone was recently named the national spokesperson for Friends of Libraries USA, a citizens support group that helps raise money for local libraries.

She is also the mother of three children— Toshia, Allison, and Thomas.

Paula Poundstone will be performing at the Spear Center in Columbia, MD on Friday, May 9. “An Evening with Paula Poundstone: Mai Tais & Black Tie” is part of the Columbia Festival of the Arts, a nonprofit organization that weeks to build community through an annual celebration of art and artists.

Gay Life spoke with Paula Poundstone from her Santa Monica home about her career, her new book and her aspirations to get her son through the fourth grade.

You’ve been in the business a long time. How did you get your start in comedy?

I started doing open mic nights in Boston in May 1979. I was bussing tables for a living. I turned my back on table bussing to go tell jokes, which is an easier choice than turning your back on law schools, etc…. Of course, I was probably better suited to be a table busser than any other line of work.

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From what I’ve seen of your stand-up, it’s amazing how much of your show is unscripted and the extent to which you interact with the audience.

Why is this so central to your performance?

A really bad short-term memory. I used to type my act for my 5 minute open mic nights in Boston on the backs of menus whose prices had changed on my day off. I’d try to memorize it really hard while I was bussing tables and then go on stage and promptly forget all of it. I was forced to say something, so I would just choose something in the room around me or something that was going on to talk about. Originally, I thought that it was a deficit, but then one day it occurred to me that this is where the life of what I did was.

In the mid-80s, I did an HBO special, “Cats, Cops and Stuff”. HBO had me do this hour (and I’d already done some shorter ones for them), so I thought, how am I going to mic the audience? They said, “well you can’t talk to the audience. That’ll work in a night club, but not on TV.” I said, “well, what did they hire me for?” So, we argued and argued and finally we managed to convince the powers that be that micing the audience was a good thing to do.

The night of the show, a lady in the crowd told me something about her mother being injured at a gas station. She wasn’t going to tell me how it happened.

I hammered her and hammered her… She finally told me that her mother fell in a garage and her face got ripped off. I screamed…and it became the funniest thing of the night. I think it was my reaction. It was horrible. All I could think of was how angry HBO would be. More people have said that they think this is the funniest thing that I’ve ever done more so than anything else…. My outrage at what I had done—pushed her to say this—was so startling. That’s what people reacted to.

So in a lot of these shows, it is this great window to this community that I’m in. I ask people about where they work and what they do with their time.

They end up telling you something about where they live or the mainstay of the community. People think I prep before I get there…but I’m really probably too lazy to do this. Crowds have personalities of their own and that’s where the magic of the night is…in the people that came to the show.

Is it still fun after all these years?

It’s really great. I wish I was Mrs. Weasley and could disapporate in terms of travel. Just go do the job and then materialize in my own living room. That would make it the most unbelievable job in the world…. Right now it’s the second…

disease” before I thought “my mother had a hammock for a long time.”… I could have written my act, but I didn’t find that remotely intriguing and it didn’t sound like much fun. One thing that ended up happening with this method is that I would have the life and times of the character I was writing about to also make jokes about.

It took me forever to write that book and part of that is because I enjoyed doing it and part of it because I’m not a writer for a living. I had to fit writing into the cracks of my life and there’s not that much time. I also had to research all of the characters.

You were recently named the national spokesperson for Friends of the Libraries USA. Why did you choose to help highlight and support this particular group?

I had gotten hired to entertain librarians at a convention a year or so ago and I loved them. Me and my family are big library users and certainly I required the library a lot while I was writing books. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of making my children value the establishment of the library. For us, we live in a city, but sometimes there’s not always a feeling of community in a city nowadays and one of the great thing about the library is, hey, it’s free. Like in algebra, for example, I tell my kids that I don’t care if you memorize the formulas or not because they’ll eventually fall out of your head, but you do need to be able to find the information. What you can’t hang onto in your brain, it’s over at the library and it’s fairly easy to find. I’ve done a couple of jobs now entertaining librarians and they are a great group. And I’m jealous. They don’t know everything about everything, but they know something about everything.

What’s next?

I think my biggest goal is to get my son through the fourth grade. Second, get my daughter through high school.

I’m working on another book now. I liked my first book and sometimes I’m surprised I wrote a book that good, but I’m hoping that my second book is even better. That’s all I know for certain. I would love to be capable of writing a screen play some day, but that’s me and every other American. I can’t swear what might happen, but yes, given that my last book took more than nine years, I’m hoping I can bring this next one in a little closer to within the decade.

For additional information, visit Paula’s website at www.paulapoundstone.com. To

It’s a delight to stand in front of people and say things that you think and that you think are funny and get a response. My son has unfortunately taken to doing that in class. The other day I made him write an apology note to a teacher and he wrote: “I’m sorry about what happened with me being funny in the classroom.”… I think the woman is reconsidering the teaching career.

Being a mother is also very important to you.

I have three kids that are a large part of my daily tasks. I love my job and I’m really lucky that the way that I’m able to finance my family is through doing something that I really enjoy. Not everyone is that lucky. They have to come first as it turns out. I guess for awhile I was hoping that there was a way of splitting us, but that was more naiveté than anything else.

I really don’t go away that often any more…but my son has a hard time with me going away. One day I said: “Honey, you know, this is how I pay for our food and our rent and this is what I do.” He said: “If you would just get a job.”

So I’ve really done a good job explaining it to them.

Do you look to anyone in particular for your comedic inspiration?

Well, when I was little, I wasn’t very familiar with stand-up comedy at all. There wasn’t the proliferation that there now is. My parents had Bill Cosby albums. I listened to them over and over, but I don’t think I ever understood that he was in a nightclub in front of people…. There are probably many people as good as him, but not any one better. The first albums were so damn funny.

The fact of him inspired me when I was a kid. I loved the response of laughter and I loved listening to funny things. I wanted to be Lilly Tomlin. I wanted to be Carol Brunett and Lucille Ball and Mary Tyler Moore. And let me say, I really missed the mark on all of them.

Your long-awaited book came out late last year.

Tell me a bit about your new book.

My book is “memoir-ish”. It’s a funny book. As to how I came to this technique is a long story, but my book is a series of biographies about empowering historic figures, and in the telling of their story, I tell my own.

Abraham Lincoln, Joan of Arc, Charles Dickens…. It is a legitimate, comprehensive biography of these towering, historical figures. But every time I’m reminded about something about myself, I jump off and talk about myself. In the chapter about Abraham Lincoln, I got so far as “his mother died of milk www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E •

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REAL ESTATE By choosing coordinating entry and garage doors that complement the home’s style, this house has greatly increased curb appeal.

Curb Appeal Takes Starring Role in Competitive Market eal estate may be about location, location, location, but it's also about looks. Curb appeal is taking on a bigger role in today's housing market. With the number of available homes for sale growing each day, buyers can afford to be choosy and consider only houses that show well from the street. That means sellers now have just a few seconds to make a first impression, capture interest

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and draw buyers inside.

Confirming just how important curb appeal is to hooking new owners, JELD-WEN, a leading window and door manufacturer, discovered in a recent survey of real estate agents that 82 percent have had potential buyers decline to look at the interior of a home based on the exterior appearance.

"In today's competitive market, buyers want upgrades, like windows and doors, that create visual appeal," says Elizabeth Souders, product marketing manager for JELD-WEN. "A home must present itself favorably in a quick snapshot. The real estate agent survey shows that without strong curb appeal, buyers might not even consid-

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er looking inside the home."

Upgrading curb appeal is proving to be a good investment when selling a home. According to the National Association of Realtors (NAR), window and door projects mostly pay for themselves at closing. Typically, homeowners can expect between an 81 to 88 percent return on window upgrades, the NAR said.

Top Five Curb Appeal Tips In addition to obvious touches like a new coat of paint or fixing cracks in the pavement, updating windows and doors is an ideal first step in boosting a home's image. Whether owners are listing a home for sale, or simply want to increase their home's stature in the neighborhood, JELD-WEN suggests these five tips to increasing curb appeal: 1. Stay true to style: Upgrades should fit in with a home's architectural style. For example, JELD-WEN says contemporary homes call for windows and doors with clean lines and simple profiles, while traditional homes such as Craftsmans or Colonials are better matched with windows and doors featuring appropriate divided light designs.

2. Add details: Custom features are a great way to achieve one-of-a-kind looks that stand out. Adding a doorknocker, speakeasy, decorative glass or metal accents to an upgraded front door can give an Old World home a

heightened level of charm to catch a buyer's eye. New house numbers and porch lights also provide a fresh look for entry areas.

3. Remember the garage: The most prominent exterior feature in many homes is the garage door, so this upgrade goes a long way toward elevating curb appeal. JELD-WEN is seeing many homeowners ordering garage doors complete with window inserts, metal accents and hardware to match the main entry door for a coordinated appearance.

4. Dress the yard: Make sure the house is the first thing potential buyers see, not overgrown hedges or dead grass. Hire a gardener to spruce up the landscaping and add colorful touches like seasonal flowers, decorative rocks or bubbly water fountains. Shaping bushes and curving lawn borders can shake up a tired front yard.

5. Coordinate color: Color, when done right, sells. Doors and windows give homeowners ideal opportunities to infuse color into their curb appeal without having to paint. For example, JELD-WEN's Custom Wood windows come with 41 standard exterior metal clad color choices, meaning a homeowner can select hues such as Redwood or Dark Ivy to match surrounding natural elements.

Courtesy of ARAcontent

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FILM Maryland Film Festival Features Four LGBT Films

By Rob Scheer he Maryland Film Festival is easily the most diverse, expansive event of the year for any Baltimore-based film junkies, and this year, the tightly-scheduled succession of movies runs from Thursday, May 1st through Sunday, May 4th. There's a little bit for everyone (the complete schedule of nearly 50 feature films is available at mdfilmfest.com), but for Baltimore's LGBT film-going community, there are four films playing at this year's festival that might be of particular interest. Though more than a few films showing this year hold potential appeal for the "gay demo," I was able to take an early look at the four that particularly center around issues of homosexuality (and in one case, bisexuality). As tends to be the norm with queer films, they're of varying quality, and each has drastically different tones/subject matter:

T

BI THE WAY For a group that has faced so much dismissal and oppression, it's bewildering how many members of the gay community are so quick to ghettoize or outright dismiss anyone who dares to proudly proclaim themselves a bisexual. Brittany Blockman and Josephine Decker's thoughtful, loosely structured documentary takes a somewhat simplified but entertaining look at a sexuality all too often marginalized. The two directors traveled across the country speaking to a variety of folks, from average Joe Americans to syndicated gay columnists Dan Savage and Michael Musto, and provoked the question: When dealing with something that (by definition) deals in shades of grey, why are some so quick to make things black or white? Primarily tackling the issue of bisexuality not being taken seriously, and automatically being read into as "gay", the film is most interesting when focusing on 11-year-old Josh, son of "Tarnation" filmmaker Jonathan Caouette. Josh's parents deal with him very frankly about sexuality, and the boy openly wonders aloud whether he'll grow up to be gay or straight. Whether articulating that Smallville star Tom Welling is "sooooo hot" or sharing "I don't dig girls who think their appearance is the most important," he ends up being the film's most keenly observant subject.

Screenings: Saturday, May 3-- 2:00 PM-- The Charles Theatre Sunday, May 4-- 2:30 PM-- MICA Brown Center

THE HOUSEBOY Writer/director Spencer Schilly's third film focuses on Ricky (Nick May), the "third" of a gay couple that he sleeps with but doesn't live with. After overhearing the central two whispering about dumping him and finding a new one after they return from a vacation, Ricky reacts by sleeping around with everyone in sight, and telling them all he plans to kill himself on Christmas Eve. We're supposed to be devastated and rooting for our twink protagonist's redemption, but the character's a lazily-written, mopey blank slate that we learn nothing about, beyond his wafer-thin back story. More problematically, I couldn't help thinking the world (or at least the gay world) would be a better place if there were less vaguely vacuous self-involved gay boys like him walking around. The filmmaking seems amateurish with self-important symbolism (e.g.: the metaphoric death of a kitten) and "pay attention, this part is poignant" moments (Ricky almost blows a kindly HIV-positive fellow). On top of which, the movie seems to preach against random, meaningless sex, but PA G E 4 0 •

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exists only as an excuse to show it. Admittedly, these scenes are pretty hot— and graphic—but if you're only showing up for them, why not just rent a porn? It'll have the same effect without the melodramatics, moping and moralizing. Capped with a nauseatingly sickly sweet ending, and a tone that seems borderline anti-gay (all homos on display are either meth-fueled sex fiends or self-involved douchebags), The Houseboy just left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

Screening: Saturday, May 3-- 8:00 PM-- The Charles Theatre

OUT LATE Director Beatrice Alda and Jennifer Brooke's short, but genuinely moving, documentary centers around a handful of senior citizen men and women who, after years of suppressing their homosexuality, did the unthinkable: They came out. Comprised of testimonials from them, as well as their families, friends and co-workers, Out Late is alternately touching, funny and enormously sad but ultimately inspiring. Though each story is told with brave openness on the subjects’ part, the one that lingers the most is that of LeAnna, a transgender former military man who became a woman at age 60, finally fulfilling what was felt for a lifetime. With unflinching candor and unsparing detail, the film gives these people a much-needed public forum, but is particularly admirable in its portrayal of some relatives who are intolerant of their loved one's sexuality. Rather than painting them as evil bigots-- a counterproductive documentary tactic all-too-often employed-- Alda and Brooke refuse to judge any of their subjects, and the film's better for it. Although it could stand to be a bit longer, and ends abruptly, Out Late is a film absolutely worth seeing, if only to delve into the reasons why so many people wait so long to come out (if they do at all) and what responsibility society bears.

Screenings: Friday, May 2-- 8:00 PM-- UB Student Center Sunday, May 4-- 3:00 PM-- UB Student Center

SEX POSITIVE The best of the gay-themed films at the festival is one you may not initially be so inclined to watch (I admit I was dreading sitting through it). Who willingly wants to endure a documentary about HIV prevention and the hazards of unprotected sex?

But rather than a depressing diatribe that makes you want to either slit your wrists or lock yourself in a room covered in condoms, Daryl Wein's Sex Positive is a remarkably compelling, oddly erotic film that frankly deals with the subject in a manner that manages to engage rather than depress or regurgitate statistics. Focusing on Richard Berkowitz (the former S&M escort turned "the Jerry Falwell of the gay community"), the film fascinatingly and extensively tells how he became the first real advocate of safe gay sex.

Through old videos, Polaroids and first-hand accounts, Wein takes us sequentially through Berkowitz's extensive promiscuity, his co-writing of the first safe sex manual in 1983 and the gay community's almost inexplicable rage towards his seeming hypocrisy. Besides being insanely entertaining, the documentary makes it clear that regardless of divisive feelings at the time, Berkowitz was/is one of the true heroes of the gay community whose work remains more important than ever in a time when it seems "barebacking" (and apathy) is on the rise again.

Screening: Friday, May 2-- 10:00 PM-- MICA Brown Center

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MUSIC Erene Performs at Read St. Books on May 10 talian singer songwriter Erene Mastrangeli has been welcomed with love and enthusiasm by audiences throughout the U.S. and Europe. After performing with Women’s KISS (Kick-Ass Indpendent Singer Songwriters) at the Creative Alliance last month, she has decided to return to Baltimore for a second show. Erene will perform live at Read St. Books (229 W. Read St.) on Saturday, May 10 at 8 p.m.

I

Gay Life spoke with Erene about her musical influences, new album and most memorable performance.

What initially sparked your love of music?

I think I started loving music since I was first exposed to it. My dad also sings and plays guitar and harmonica, so he introduced me to music when I was little. He wanted my brother and me to take music lessons and sing in a choir. The funny thing is that he really didn't like the stuff we were singing. It was all classical and church music. Nevertheless, he found it was somehow a good start.

What brought you from Italy to the U.S.?

Music definitely brought me to the US. In 1997, I had a brief experience in San Francisco. I was there for two months as an au pair. I worked for a friend of my dad who is an incredible guitar player. While I was baby-sitting his daughter I got to record a demo with him.

While in San Francisco, I felt very inspired and wrote one of my best songs. To this day people ask me to play “San Lorenzo” because they enjoy it so much. After that experience I knew one day I'd return to the US. And that's what I did. In 2000, I packed my bags and came to New York City.

You've been trained in both classical guitar and piano and as a jazz vocalist. How would you describe the style of music on your latest album?

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It’s a good mix of the styles I love and listen to. There is some American Folk, Brazilian Music, Pop, Rock. I don't really define myself as a classical or jazz musician, but these two genres definitely influence my music on an unconscious level, since my music education is based on the two.

You do quite a bit of traveling in both the U.S. & Europe. What's the most incredible place you've traveled to perform?

Yes, I do travel, but my most memorable performance was probably in New York, which I now consider my home town in a way. Here I get to play with my band, which I adore.

When I play out of town I perform mostly solo. The experience of hearing my songs become the way I imagined them in my head is simply incredible. I now have strings playing with me, which was always a dream of mine. I get to write for them and really have fun with it, but when I hear them playing the parts...I can't describe the sensation. It's exhilarating. So yes, my most memorable performance was probably my show at The Living Room this past February.

Do you draw inspiration from any particular artists?

My favorite artist is Sting, no doubt about it. I loved and love many artists, but he is the one artist I aspire to play and write with one day. I'm inspired at every show I see if I connect with the music of course.

What brings you to Baltimore?

I actually have some good friends and fans in Baltimore. I wanted to play there for a long time. When I heard that Susan Souza was doing the booking at Read Street Books I asked her if I could book a show and she loved the idea. I played the Women's Kiss event in Baltimore just two weeks ago and my music was received really well. I'm excited to play in Baltimore again in May. For additional information about Erene, visit www.erenemusic.com.

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HOMOSTROLOGY

by Marry Elaine

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) Wear lots of

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 20)

busy prints all week and honor them by feeling out your multiple sexualities.

(June 21 - July 22) Urgently: prioritize healing.

Stay inside your heart; fight temptations to drift up into your head. Commit to conversing, not monologuing. This will involve listening. Despite fear or discomfort, face conflict and stay honest and kind while moving in it.

LEO (July 23 - August 22) Focus on creation and

CAPRICORN (December 21 - January 19)

follow-through right now. You are pretty much unstoppable: Make sure to see your successes so that you can celebrate them.

Avoid mirrors for several consecutive days.

Write letters.

CANCER

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) Let your pleasure be your guide. Your pleasure as a woman. And don’t forget: There are two things that have no limit—femininity and the means of taking advantage of it.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

Dear Power Bottom, Your new lover is wonderful. Do not stay with them forever, but retain always the ways they have awoken you.

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22) Your social instincts are awry right now. If you don’t mind being unpalatable, revel. And know that you’re in my heart, bitch. If you do mind, go against impulses. If you are usually visited, now is the time to plan a trip towards a friend.

SCORPIO

(October 23 - November 21) Live like Kristi Yamaguchi and Marlee Matlin. Be loose. Be elegant. Challenge yourself. Emote. Role play.

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AQUARIUS

(January 20 - February 18) Don’t be scared to feel good. Be as accepting towards yourself as you are toward others. Commit to sleep.

PISCES (February 19 - March 19) Practice humility. Approach everything with rigor and forgiveness.

ARIES (March 20 - April 19) Wear copper and carry current. You know people, but what about and how do you really know them? Get to know people better this week. Let people speak for themselves, and believe them when they do.

Marry Elaine is very psychic and a huge fag.

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DO AS I SAY Prudence Responds to

Your Letters

by Prudence Worthington Dear Prudence, My problem has to do with a friend in my bridge club. We’re none of us young girls and she is growing more and more oblivious to her bad behavior.

She often entertains and includes us, but treats us awfully while “cow towing” to any newcomer. The efforts she displays to gain the attention of anyone she considers “important” are drawing attention.

The situation is made more bizarre by her stinginess with money, especially when it comes to others.

Recently, she was overheard arguing with her dinner companions over who should pay for each item on the check but later hosted (yet another) cocktail party for a group of traveling actors she had never met. Her company has become unbearable as she makes everything about her. We don’t understand what satisfaction she gets from entertaining strangers while abusing her old friends. One of the gals suggested she might feel better about herself if she gave up a party or two and donated the funds to charity. How do I salvage this relationship?

Downtrodden in Dundalk Dearest Dundalk Darling, Truly a sad tale, but Baltimore seems brimming with eccentrics who display the most peculiar quirks. How you do embrace them much the way the southerners prop up their dead. Most assuredly your village does not want for idiots and I long for the days when we institutionalized our insane. One wonders who will ultimately attend the funeral of people such as you describe.

My Dove, your situation will not improve for one simple reason: As we mature our worst traits become magnified. We become more of what we are, so to speak, and your familiar will continue to grow increasingly coarse towards you. Those additional character flaws of irritating thrift and desperate need for validation will worsen as well. An optimistic portrait I cannot paint. Clearly the frequent soirees are a form of self aggrandizement and a means of garnering attention. Should you no longer desire to remain a battered player in the drama of her life, a new plot is mandatory.

Darling, ring your maid for a cocktail as your options are few and not entirely pleasant. You must accept my dear, that familiarity breeds contempt and she is merely taking you for granted. You obviously hold no currency in her estimation, for she seeks the approval of strangers.

You may possess the fortitude to confront your “friend”, but do gird your loins for the worst possible reaction. I glean from your catalog of character flaws that this manic hostess is not a self-reflective creature and, therefore, your intervention will be perceived as a full frontal assault. Confrontation of this nature is generally met with disastrous results, but I remain optimistic that someday, somewhere, someone will succeed.

I regret the most logical tack is to allow this woman to drift off into the sea of her own egocentricity. Hordes of guests will cross her threshold and partake of the insincere hospitality distracting her from the fact that her old

comrades are absent. She will ultimately discover “new and improved” friends to torture and you shall slowly slip into peaceful oblivion. Remain civil, but decline her invitations, for within a year she will have forgotten your existence: a sad conclusion, but a sensible curative for the preservation of your piece of mind. How painful it is to let go of old chums, but do consider this—to maintain the beauty of one’s garden, pruning is essential.

Bon chance to you, my pet.

Dear Mrs. Worthington, I have a really dear friend that has no concept of time when getting ready for a social function. I have always held a firm belief that if you’re fabulous you can look great in 20 minutes, and after that you’re really not improving your looks or wardrobe by much. The problem is most apparent in two situations—Friday nights and on-a-whim outings.

The latter is usually only frustrating to me because I like to do things on the spur of the moment, but I have a hard time doing this when it takes my friend an hour to get primped for a trip to Taco Bell or other small excursions. The harder situation is Friday night when we have friends meeting us at our place before spending the night on the town.

My friends, unlike most gay people, tend to be punctual if not early. My question is: What’s proper etiquette for friends who hold everyone up? We are only a couple blocks from the bars we frequent most, but it often takes up to an hour to actually get there.

Punctual Polly My Poor Polly, Self absorption seems to be the theme du jour. As Louis XVIII once said “punctuality is the politeness of kings” and I suppose it applies to queens as well. For the record, Darling, here are some basics: “Fashionably late” is a practice much abused and should not span more than 30 minutes past the start of a party. Those droll gatherings called “open houses” are the exception, for you may arrive any time during the span of the tedious event.

Absolute punctuality is mandatory at weddings and dinner parties and is considered and insult to the bride/hostess when not practiced. Arriving early is equally heinous as the servants may not have finished the preparations.

The last minute invitation should provide a reasonable amount of preparation time or be declined.

A lady of good breeding should possess the wherewithal to pull herself together within half an hour else she will find the parade of life passing her by. Honestly, I am surprised that your friend does not arise to a morning constitutional that would prepare her/him for any of the offerings a day may bring. One must be flexible enough to go from boardroom to bedroom with little effort. Even the boy scouts teach this, but I believe they phrase it differently. When a spontaneous invitation arrives, how long does it take to put on some dungarees and a tee shirt? That does seem to be the favored uniform of the

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Festive community these days and certainly not that complicated to assemble.

Dearest, take heart, for the habit is potentially alterable.

You see, I suffered this very same aggravation and you may apply my methods to your dilemma. When my dear friend and constant companion, Traxie Muldoon, came to join my little “family”, she brought more baggage than just her Louis Vuitton. I quickly discovered her inability to ready herself for any function in a timely manner.

(You may surmise that we have a way of doing things in the Worthington household.) Traxie’s perennial tardiness was disrupting our tranquil existence and even the domestics were complaining. Rosita kindly offered to administer electroshock therapy, but I had a more civil scheme in mind. (Where Rosita acquired a cattle prod, I know not.)

Step one towards Traxie’s reformation was ever so simple. If dinner was to be served at 8:00, we told her 7:00.

This gave me an extra hour of solitude to telephone girlfriends and enjoy a smart cocktail or two. Traxie’s rehabilitation started slowly, for we then discovered she thought “be there at 8:00” meant leave the house at 8:00.

She never was the brightest bulb on the tree and this flaw caused Silvio, my driver, great distress.

Obviously my work was not finished so I proceeded to step two. I instituted a policy of stating the exact time the car would depart: with or without her. We adhered to this rule stringently. After she missed an evening with Liza, a ball with Mr. Trump and a picnic at the Kennedy, her behavior began to improve rapidly. Traxie is not one to skip a chic gathering and I had finally illuminated the consequences of her actions.

The spontaneous invitation remains a sore spot in my abode to this day. When I include her on an impromptu outing I phrase it as such: “Madonna just called to invite us for lunch. The car will be leaving at half past twelve.”

This gives her the opportunity to decline, or prepare herself in less time than she would like. She is not pleased with this practice and bickers with me to delay my departure. Ultimately, she knows her efforts are futile, but still she endures.

I’m giving her one more month before I summon Rosita for the cattle prod.

Good Luck My Sweet,

Prudence

P.S. You may forward enquires regarding today's ever-changing etiquette to prudence@baltimoregaylife.com.

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QUOTE UNQUOTE

BY REX WOCKNER WITH BILL KELLEY

about it. ... The gay and lesbian movement, and the members, can have a tremendous impact."

"I don't know what will happen professionally ... that is the fear, but I guess I can't really be concerned about what will happen, because it's my truth. There is this desire in L.A. to wonder who you are and what's been blaring for me for the last three years is how can I be most authentic to myself -so this is the first time I am speaking about it [being gay] in this way."

—California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking at the Log Cabin Republicans National Convention April 11 in San Diego.

"Why stop there?"

—California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Log Cabin Republicans National Convention April 11 in San Diego, in response to a gay conventioneer who exclaimed, "Arnold, I loved all your movies. ...

Take your shirt off!"

—Actor Luke MacFarlane, who plays Scotty Wandell, character Kevin Walker's boyfriend on ABC-TV's Brothers & Sisters, to Toronto's Globe and Mail, April 15. The newspaper said the couple will marry in the May 11 season finale

"I'm such a big ol' bull dyke, it would have been impossible for me to hide it. I mean, when I was doing stand-up, was I going to go out onstage and talk about my boyfriend? Everyone would go, 'Hey big dyke—why are you talking about your boyfriend?' So being out was basically being who I am."

—Comic/singer/actress Lea DeLaria to the Kansas gay magazine Liberty Press, April issue.

"I have been clear about my interest in including gender identity in legislation, but I've also been honest with the groups that I've met with that it is a heavy lift through Congress. We've got some Democrats who are willing to vote for a non-inclusive bill but we lose them on an inclusive bill, and we just may not be able to generate the votes."

—Barack Obama to Advocate.com, April 10.

"I strongly respect the right of same-sex couples to insist that even if we got complete equality in benefits, it still wouldn't be equal because there's a stigma associated with not having the same word, marriage, assigned to it. I understand that, but my perspective is also shaped by the broader political and historical context in which I'm operating."

—Barack Obama to Advocate.com, April 10.

"We will push on and bring full marriage equality to New York state. And when we have done that, we're going to do more. We're going to protect young people from bullies. We're going to protect against the discrimination of people in the transgender community, and we're going to fight for decent and affordable health care for all citizens in this state. If you will join with me, and if we work hard enough, we can change the face of New York, which will be the catalyst to changing national policy."

--New York Gov. David Patterson addressing the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Leadership Awards dinner April 7 in New York City.

"Well, first of all, I think that it would never happen in California because I think that California people are much further along with that issue. And, number two, I will always be there to fight against that, because it would never happen. I think we need a constitutional amendment so that foreignborn citizens can run for president, but not about gay marriage. That's a total waste of time."

—California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking at the Log Cabin Republicans National Convention April 11 in San Diego, in opposition to a probable November ballot initiative aimed at amending the state Constitution to permanently ban same-sex marriage. "[The Republican Party] is making a big mistake by being so extreme. But it's not the people within the party whose fault that is. It is the system that is wrong. ... How could it be a big problem to get Democrats and Republicans together? I sleep with a Democrat every night!"

—California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking at the Log Cabin Republicans National Convention April 11 in San Diego. "[M]y biggest criticism of the Republican Party has always been that we have lost a lot of members of the Republican Party here in California [including] gays and lesbians. [W]e need to go and be a party that is more inclusive. ... That's the power we have to get inside the party and to create the changes, rather than just complaining

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answer back, 'Hey, it's actually me!'"

—Actress Tori Spelling to Philadelphia Gay News, April 11.

"I think that the 'born gay' thesis is a crock. P.c. ideology is usually simplistically social constructionist, but when it comes to gayness, biology currently rules the roost. Of course it makes no sense. As I have written in the past, homosexuality is an adaptation, the product of a multitude of social and psychological factors. I believe we are all born with a capacity for bisexual expression, which may or may not evince itself, depending on circumstance."

—Writer Camille Paglia in her Salon.com column, April 9.

"There's A's and there's B's. The A's are guys like me, the B's are homosexual faggots with dirt on their fingernails that transmit diseases."

—Canadian federal Tory MP Tom Lukiwski caught on a 17-year-old amateur videotape unearthed April 3 by an opposition political party. Lukiwski said of the recording: "I am sorry. I am ashamed."

"It would be bad to ask a person if he is homosexual or not, because this has nothing to do with his responsibilities. I believe that if the person has the moral, ethical, psychological and physical capacity to be a police officer, it doesn't matter what his preference is or what he does at home in his free time."

—Panamanian National Police chief Rolando Mirones speaking on local radio April 3.

"I've never been one of the gay darlings; I've always been one of the pariahs.

Myself, Sandra Bernhard and Scott Thompson from Kids in the Hall, we're all very good friends and we all consider ourselves to be gay pariahs. One year, in a pride parade, we put ourselves in a cage and put a sign on it saying 'gay pariahs.' We thought it was hilarious, but again, people just got really mad about it. You know -- get a sense of humor."

—Comic/singer/actress Lea DeLaria to the Kansas gay magazine Liberty Press, April issue.

"I used to think that you could blog and you could sort of say anything and nobody would know, but really everybody knows."

—Friend-of-gays comedian Margaret Cho to the Portland, Ore., gay newspaper Just Out, April 4.

"I'm totally addicted [to MySpace]. I read it completely myself and nobody believes it. Whenever I look at my messages, they're like, 'Hey Tori's assistant, can you help me answer this question or ask Tori this?' And I always have to

"All countries that love freedom, democracy and liberty should refuse to host the Olympic torch and boycott the opening and closing ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics. Athletes should wear Tibetan flags during their events and on the podium when they collect their medals."

—Leading British gay activist Peter Tatchell, who blocked a bus carrying the Olympic torch April 7 in London.

"I hope gay people realize their special gifts. There is a reason why gay people are numerically over-represented in many creative fields. We have myriad destinies related to making the world more beautiful and compassionate.

Being outsiders to mainstream culture gives us a unique perspective. To survive, gay people have had to realize that some social rules are dead wrong -like whom we can or cannot love. That empowering lesson can help us find our own voices."

• G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

—Photographer Tom Bianchi to the Palm Springs gay magazine The BottomLine, April 11.

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Find luxury, comfort, convenience and style in both of our beautifully appointed all-suite hotels. We're just footsteps off historic Charles Street in downtown Baltimore.

Our suites are filled with world-class amenities and our personal attention to detail will make any stay a memorable experience. In addition to our comfortable features, we offer complimentary high-speed internet in every suite and your choice of two restaurants, a lounge, a gourmet deli and a dessert shop.

410.727.2222 www.TREMONTS.com

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E •

May 2 - May 15, 2008

• PA G E 4 5

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PA G E 4 6 •

May 2 - May 15, 2008

• G A Y L I F E • www.baltimoregaylife.com

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MARKETPLACE House for Rent

It’s easy to place your Market Place ad.

Call us at

GREAT LOCATION 2BR, 1 Bath Fells Point Rowhome only 3 blocks north of waterfront, 2 blocks south of Patterson Park.

Recently renovated w/ granite and hardwoods. Dogs OK. $1,350 + utils. Call Al (443) 939-9330.

410.837.7748 We’ll do the rest!

25 words for $20!

Apartment for Rent

Box it or add a graphic for $5 more.

Junior 1BR Apartment near York Rd. & Northern Pkwy. $575/month includes gas and electricity. Perfect for grad student. New carpet, stove & refrigerator. 410-532-7387.

25¢ per word after that.

Employment.

Massage

LOVE CANDLES? I'm looking for Fun People to join my team- Be in Business FOR Yourself, Not BY Yourself. Call Laurie 571-723-3053.

BALTIMORE’S BEST MASSAGE Leave your stress behind & feel your best. Available days, evenings and weekends. $5.00 discount for appointments before 6PM. Gift certificates available. Call Marc @ 410-653-3084.

LADIES, LADIES, LADIES, Interested in a DJ position? Please send a resume and current (2007) CD of your music to: DJ Search 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201

SERVICE

DIRECTORY

ACCOMMODATIONS Baltimore Tremonts 222 St. Paul St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-561-8886

ACCOUNTING Heiffner & Associates 6706 German Hill Rd. Dundalk, MD 21222 410-285-3920

AUTOMOTIVE Meineke Car Care Center 7604 Harford Rd. Parkville, MD 21234 410-665-0710 Tate Mini of Annapolis 25 Old Mill Bottom Rd. N. Annapolis, MD 21409 410-349-2131 BARS / NIGHTCLUBS Baltimore Eagle 2022 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-3219 Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-576-0018 Club Phoenix 1 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-3906

CHORUSES

New Wave Singers PO Box 2012 Baltimore, MD 21203 410-558-4692

CHURCHES Catholic Archdiocese of Baltimore 320 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 20201 410-547-5486 First & St. Stephen’s United Church 6915 York Rd. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-377-5224

St. John’s of Baltimore 2640 St. Paul St. Baltimore, MD 21218 410-366-7733

COMPUTER / TECHNOLOGY CONSULTING Computer Handyman of Maryland 443-827-0433 CONSTRUCTION Laurence Construction David Meltzer 6999 Reiserstown Rd., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21215 410-764-7100 NLT Construction 9216 Liberty Rd. Randallstown, MD 21133 410-922-6475

First Unitarian Church 1 W. Hamilton St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-2330

COUNSELING / THERAPY Patti Desert, LCSW-C Singular Pathways 208 E. Melrose Ave. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-435-3755

Metropolitan Community Church of Baltimore 401 W. Monument St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-669-6222

Laura June, Ph.D. Belvedere Towers, Suite 105A 1190 W. Northern Pkwy.

Baltimore, MD 21210 410-235-7899

Memorial Episcopal Church 1407 Bolton St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-669-0220

Jeff Klug, LCSW The Rotunda, Suite 108 711 W. 40th St. Baltimore, MD 21211 410-241-4215

St. Bernadette Parish 801 Stevenson Rd. Severn, MD 21144 410-969-2785

Samuel J. Kelly, LCSW-C Ellen Schwartz Patterson, LCSW-C The Shell Building, Suite 108

BRAD'S SPECIAL TOUCH A hot full body/full satisfaction massage in your home, hotel, or my NEW waterfront studio. Guys or couples. Visa/MC. 443-695-0141, or www.specialtouchmassage.com GREAT MASSAGE Swedish or sensual, by attractive guy with awesome hands.

Incall/Outcall, reasonable rates, 15 years experience.

Craig 410-336-8956 or Craiginbaltimore@comcast.net

Solution to puzzle, page 35

reach the local

gay market. advertise in gay life! sales@baltimoregaylife.com

200 E. Joppa Rd. Towson, MD 21286 410-583-8846 Robin Richardson, LCSW-C The Rotunda, Suite 412 711 W. 40th St. Baltimore, MD 21211 410-261-3323 Women’s Growth Center 5209 York Rd. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-532-2476

FINANCIAL SERVICES Yoshiko Hayakawa First Financial Group 401 Washington Ave., 6th floor Baltimore, MD 21204 410-828-5400 x4178 FITNESS Mt. Vernon Fitness 1016 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 www.mvfit.com

FRAMING Fast Frame of Bel Air 1431 Rock Spring Rd. Bel Air, MD 21014 410-836-0017

HEALTH / DENTAL Chase Brexton Health Services 1001 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-2050 Dr. Samuel Westrick 3100 St. Paul St., Suite 5 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-243-5544

www.baltimoregaylife.com • G A Y L I F E •

MORTGAGE SERVICES Marva J. Laws American Financial Resources Bel Air, MD 410-734-6688 1-888-553-5513

JEWELERS Craig Coyne Jewelers 8113 Main St. Ellicott City, MD 21043 410-243-5544

LEGAL SERVICES Law offices of Constandin Alivizatos 111 S. Calvert St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-385-5397 Lynda Dee, Attorney at Law 201 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-332-1170 A. Allan Gertner, Attorney at Law 814 N. Calvert St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-539-1870 National Adoption and Surrogacy Center Hilary Neiman, Esq. 30 Courthouse Square, Suite 106 Rockville, MD 20850 301-340-7228 Mark Scurti Hodes, Pessin & Katz, PA 410-938-8718 www.hpklegal.com Zavos Law Group Washington, DC Baltimore, MD 443-570-6205

LOCKSMITHS Robert’s Key Service 217 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-728-7484

May 2 - May 15, 2008

Richard Pazornik SunTrust Mortgage 410-561-4139 www.suntrustmortgage.com/rp azornik NONPROFIT ORGANIZATIONS Hearts and Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 PHARMACIES Mount Vernon Pharmacy 900 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-539-8030 Park Avenue Pharmacy 1535 Park Ave. Baltimore, MD 21217 410-225-0800

Real Estate Nancy Corporon RE/MAX Advantage Realty 8815 Centre Park Dr. Columbia, MD 21045 410-740-1200 Stephen Johnson Long & Foster Real Estate 10805 Hickory Ridge Rd. Columbia, MD 21044 410-715-7891 • PA G E 4 7

David Ostrowski & Pat Stokeley Long & Foster Real Estate 410-931-6300 www.DaveMovesMd.com

RESTAURANTS / CATERING Café Boheme 401 E. Pratt St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-347-9898 Sascha’s 527 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-539-8880 Spice Company 4 W. University Pkwy.

Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-8200

THEATRES Hippodrome Theatre France-Merrick Performing Arts Center 12 N. Eutaw St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-547-SEAT Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Baltimore 5625 O’Donnell St. Baltimore, MD 21224 410-995-1969 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Columbia 5900 Symphony Woods Rd. Columbia, MD 21044 410-995-1969

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