As a grandchild of four Holocaust survivors, I grew up immersed in stories of emunah forged in fire. My grandparents’ unwavering faith carried them through the horrors of concentration camps, forced labor, and near starvation. Despite the destruction that surrounded them, they clung to their belief in Hashem, and that faith ultimately sustained them. Their stories live within me, shaping the way I view resilience, suffering, and hope.
Now, decades later, we are once again witnessing the survival of Jews who endured their own Holocaust, this time at the hands of Hamas. The hostages taken on October 7 faced unimaginable suffering, deprived of food, light, and the basic dignity of human existence. Many of them were not religious, yet in the depths of their captivity, something within them awoke. When all else was stripped away, their neshama awakened.
One such story is that of Keith Siegel, a 65-year-old American-Israeli who was abducted from his home in Kibbutz Kfar Aza. Keith and his wife, Aviva, were taken hostage together. Aviva was released after 51 days, but Keith remained in captivity for 484 days- nearly 16 months of brutality, fear, and deprivation. He endured relentless hunger, humiliation, and the despair of not knowing if he would ever see his family again.
Yet, despite the unimaginable suffering, Keith emerged with something that even his captors could not steal- his emunah. Though he did not come from a religiously observant background, his time in captivity became a journey of spiritual survival. And in one of those moments, something extraordinary happened.
Each day, Keith was given pita bread to eat. Though he had little Jewish knowledge, he remembered the bracha
of Hamotzei and was careful to say it before each meal. It was the only bracha he knew, but he clung to it as a small but powerful act of faith. Then, one day, he was granted limited access to a television and happened to watch a program featuring a Tel Aviv eatery. On the show, a man was enjoying a pastry and, before taking a bite, recited the bracha of Mezonos.
Keith was thrilled. He had just learned a second bracha! From that moment on, he made sure to say Mezonos when appropriate, finding another way to be mekadesh Shem Shamayim even in the depths of captivity. In a place where his humanity was stripped from him, he seized the opportunity to elevate himself, to hold onto something bigger than his suffering.
That in itself is inspiring, that a hostage, deprived of nearly everything, was still searching for ways to bring Hashem into his life. But to me, there is an even deeper lesson here, one that applies to each and every one of us.
Every moment is an opportunity to be mekadesh Shem Shamayim, and we never know how one small action can impact another person, now or in the future. A single bracha, made by an unassuming diner in Tel Aviv, reverberated all the way into Gaza and planted a seed of holiness in a captive’s heart.
The ripple effect of our mitzvos is beyond what we can ever comprehend. And if a bracha made in the comfort of a café could inspire a man in the depths of captivity, then what can our own words and actions accomplish in the world around us?
Wishing everyone a peaceful Shabbos
Aaron M. Friedman
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Around the Community
Shaul Alter, Shlita Photo Essay
HaRav Shaul Alter, Shlita, Delivering His Keynote Address And Shiur At Yeshivas Ner YisroelHaRav Shaul Alter, Shlita, conversing with the Rosh Hayeshiva, Moreinu HaRav Aharon Feldman
Friends, food & fun!
Around the Community
Yeshivas Kochav Yitzchok Torah Institute Of Baltimore Hosts Grand Siyum Hadoros
Photos:
Torah Institute of Baltimore’s Siyum Hadoros was a magnificent celebration of Kavod HaTorah, drawing over 1,500 participants to the Hilton Baltimore Inner Harbor for an unforgettable evening. The Siyum event featured close to 500 3rd-8th grade Talmidim learning Mishnayos alongside their fathers, grandfathers and even some great-grandfathers. It was truly heartwarming to witness multiple generations learning together with a shared goal of completing Shas Mishnayos in under an hour.
Attendees had the great Kavod of welcoming and hearing Divrei Chizuk from the Gerrer Rosh HaYeshiva, Moreinu HaRav Shaul Alter Shlita, as well as uplifting Divrei Hisororus from Rabbi Shimon Hirsch, Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, Rabbi Yosef Berger and guest speaker Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro. Their words added a beautiful dimension to the evening, and it was especially inspiring for the children to hear Divrei Torah from these esteemed Rabbanim.
Creative1080 Once again Mr Tariq will be in your city with new fabrics samples for custom suits and
The evening included delicious food by Knish Shop, audio and visuals from Eagle Production Co., and music and singing by Mez Productions, Shmueli Ungar and Shira Choir. Additionally, a special music video created by Avi Dear Visuals, featuring a song written for the event and sung by the students, was shown at the event.
The Siyum HaDoros was a truly memorable event, cherished by all who attended and sure to be remembered for a long time.
Please join us for the Simchas Esther Annual Purim Shpiel
Work It Out
Adapted by Sara Silber Weinberger from the short stories by Rena Nussenfeld, as seen in the Binah Magazine.
AKabbalas Panim and a Q&A event with Harav Shaul Alter, Shlita was held at the home of R’ Tzvi and Tari Pensak during his Baltimore visit. It was attended by local Rabbanim and baal habatim.
Baltimore’s Bas Melech Gymnastics Team Shines At National Jewish Gymnastics League
Baltimore’s gymnastics community has a new reason to celebrate! Nine talented athletes from the Bas Melech Gymnastics Team recently traveled to Miami to compete in the National Girls Jewish Gymnastics League—and they didn’t just participate; they dominated.
The team placed in all areas and across all the age ranges and brought home multiple medals proving that their dedication and hard work paid off in a big way.
Medals won by the Bas Melech team:
1st, 2nd and 3rd place on beam
1st, 3rd, 4th and 8th place for floor
3rd and 4th place on bar
1st, 2nd and 3rd place for all around (Ages 13-17)
3rd place for beam
2nd place for floor
6th place for bar
4th, 5th and 12th for all around (Ages 11-12)
8th and 9th place for beam
6th place for floor
8th and 9th place for bar
7th and 9th place for all around (Ages 6-10)
But this achievement didn’t happen overnight. The girls pushed themselves beyond their limits, mastering routines that required strength, precision, and unwavering focus. Their commitment was matched by the relentless dedication of their coaches, who fine-tuned every skill and provided the guidance needed to perform at an elite level.
At the heart of this journey was Mrs. Goldberg, whose unwavering belief in each girl played a crucial role in their success. In fact, just a few weeks before the competition, the team wasn’t even sure they were ready. It wasn’t until Mrs. Goldberg submitted a video to the league organizer—who approved their participa-
tion—that they realized they had what it took to compete on a bigger stage.
This is just the beginning for Bas Melech gymnastics. The Jewish gymnastics world will be seeing a lot more from these talented young athletes.
Baltimore, get ready—the future of Jewish gymnastics is here, and it’s brighter than ever!
To learn more contact basmelech.org
New Short Stories by RABBI YECHIEL SPERO
From Morocco to the European ghettoes, from campgrounds to hospital rooms, from Brooklyn to Meah Shearim to Djerba, here are stories that take us around the Jewish world – and into the Jewish People’s hearts.
Some of the stories are poignant, others are inspirational and still others are full of surprises. And all of them are stories that inspire, engage, and teach us. And yes, each and every masterfully written story is for the Books
Around the Community
BCL By Columbia Group Kicks Off In 2025 Season In Grand Fashion!
The The Baltimore Chesed League kicked off its 2025 season on Sunday (2/23) in the new social hall at Suburban Orthodox Toras Chaim. The young men were provided with their league sweatshirts, expertly designed by Fired
Up Promotions, and then enjoyed a delicious lunch of poppers and hot dogs, generously donated by the Knish Shop. (Special mention to kickoff sponsors: WesBanco and Israel Bonds.)
The official kick-off program opened with a beautiful message from
Rabbi Shmuel Kimche, assistant Rav of Ohel Moshe, who shared some meaningful words of chizuk and motivation with the boys. This was followed by a review of the league logistics and rules from the BCL Committee leadership.
With their souls inspired and
Team Craft Sourdough learned all about what Chaverim of Baltimore does and the chesed that these volunteers do on a daily basis. They learned how to change/plug tires, jump a car, and how to (legally) break into cars.
stomachs full, the BCL boys participated in a heartfelt mincha and then set off to their respective chesed activities for the day, eager to make a real difference in our community.
See below for some of the exciting chesed performed in Week 1.
Keren
off their season this past Thursday night, packing boxes of
staples for delivery to families in need.
The hard-working boys were rewarded with hot cholent and poppers from Knish Shop after a cold night on the loading dock.
Team HESP Solar had a great time grabbing trash up and down Park Heights and helping to beautify our Shuls and CHAI neighborhoods.
Team Kove Group dazzled residents of Aventura at The Heights with lively music, dance, and mesmerizing card tricks.
Team Quarry Orthodontics learned all about the work that Misaskim does for the community. The boys helped clean out the van and organize the supplies to be ready for the next time Misaskim is needed.
Team Heideman Design had an amazing time setting up takeaway meal packages for K’hal Bais Nosson and cleaning up the shul! The boys also got to see a Gemara from the 1700’s and a very old Sefer Torah.
Team Pit Stop Tire Shop had a great time helping out at NCSY. They cataloged siddurim and benchers, prepared mailings and took a tour of their offices.
Team Winner Insulation did an amazing job cleaning the conference room at the Northwest Baltimore police station. The boys displayed superb middos and made a great Kiddush Hashem, thanking those who serve our community and help us stay safe!
Team Sage Ventures LLC helped sort and update the inventory supplies for Yitzchok’s Toy Box Gemach, aspecial Gemach that provides therapy toys and supplies to children!
Team RenoSafe Homes learned about the incredible work Hatzalah of Baltimore does for the community. The team built a nice amount of Hatzalah pushkas as well!
Team
Reva Costume Gemach kicked
Shabbos
Team Kelemer Brothers Replacement Windows had a blast learning about and helping with the shaimos!
MANAGING FINANCES
WHO SHOULD ATTEND?
If you answer “Yes” to any of these questions, this seminar is for you!
• Are you facing, for the first time, as a single or a couple, the challenges of managing your money and are not really sure how to do it?
WHEN: Sunday, March 9, 2025 7:30PM
Ner Tamid Congregation 6214 Pimlico Road
TO
REGISTER:
Send your names, the number of attendees and your Email address to: LSJBaltimore@Gmail.com
Reservations are strongly recommended for space planning purposes. Feel free to Email questions about the seminar or coaching. Attendees are encouraged to sign-up for in-home coaching sessions to help put the information conveyed in the seminar into practice.
• Do you think that you have adequate income but never seem to have enough money?
• Do you feel out of control when it comes to money and try to avoid thinking about it?
• Do you think that you should know about how to manage money, but were never taught and have tried to figure it out on your own, but never get a good handle on the process?
• Do you know how much you can really afford to purchase a house?
• Are the balances on your credit card increasing and you do not know why they are going up or how to stop it?
• Do you and your spouse not see eye-to-eye on how much money should be earned and spent that it has led to increasing family tension?
Greater Washington: Around the Community
Bonei Olam Of Greater Washington (Bonei Olam) Hosts Its Annual Fundraising Dinner At The Kemp Mill Synagogue, ‘A Time To Plant’
Bonei Olam is an organization dedicated to providing funds for couples struggling with infertility and who need financial assistance to help pay for medical treatment. Over the past year, Bonei Olam funding provided to couples within the Greater Washington Jewish community led to 27 couples receiving counseling, 19 couples receiving treatment, and five couples having a baby.
The evening involved extensive behind the scenes planning and fundraising reach-outs, led in consultation every step of the way by the Lakewood Bonei Olam office. Special kudos go to Aliza and Adam Mervis, Joanna and Isaac Benporat, Melissa and Chaim Lazarus, Bayla and Jeremy Goodman, and Yaffa and Binyomin Koff for all their work helping plan the event. The event featured delicious food catered by Knish Shop – which left everyone in attendance coming back for more and more of all the various meat carving stations, scrumptious salmon and other fish, and exquisite salads.
But getting to the substance of the event itself, Chaim Lazarus was the master of ceremonies and did a masterful job blending humor and content while introducing the speakers and the evening. Imploring those in attendance to continue to give and give to help support the organization.
The event first featured divrei Torah and Bracha from Rabbi Brahm Weinberg, focused on the power of tefillah, as an eis ratzon, as part of a dispute between the Rambam and the Ramban on whether tefillah is a Torah commandment, and that the Rambam sees every day as a time to pray to Gd for his favor and grace, while the Ramban sees Tefilah as a Torah obligation only when one has a sickness or other great need that causes it to be an eis ratzon.
The first main speaker was Rebbetzin Atara Rosenbaum, Rebbetzin of Young Israel Shomrei Emunah. She spoke about her experience not being able to have children for the first ten years of her marriage and, poignantly, expressed that there was a
speech she felt like she was supposed to give the audience, about the tremendous pain of not having children but yet she also felt fulfilled and did things during those ten years that she otherwise would not have been able to do. Rebbetzin Rosenbaum expressed that a former student who had infertility problems didn’t confide in her because she always viewed Rebbetzin Rosenbaum as so happy, even with her personal struggles, so she wouldn’t understand her former student’s pain. Towards the end of her remarks, Rebbetzin Rosenbaum spoke about the power of tefillah and that she had no idea how many folks were truly davening for her when she had her first child – that she felt like she had the whole community behind her, something that gave her tremendous strength and chizuk. Lastly, Rebbetzin Rosenbaum spoke about a powerful circumstance where her husband, Rabbi Rosenbaum, was listening to a Shalsheles song and it invoked Shmuel Alef and Chana’s tefillah about having a child. She couldn’t bare to listen to it then and she shut it off. Now, many years later, her oldest son’s birthday is on Purim, and every year they sing this song on Purim, in gratitude.
The second main speaker was Rebbetzin Estie Silver, Rebbetzin of Young Israel of Long Beach, NY. Rebbetzin Silver spoke about her time as a fertility nurse for over fifteen years and her extensive work bridging science and Emunah, that she has seen great strides in the medical field during her career, whereby at one point they would look for the most perfectly shaped egg to work with and blindly try to fertilize it on the third day, but now there is so much more testing and they do it on the sixth day. Rebbetzin Silver spoke of a supervisor of hers at the Shady Grove Fertility Clinic who would always say the ‘Shema’ before doing the medical work to try to bring a child into this world through fertility treatments, as he recognized that even with the best medical training and the best medical work, everything was ultimately up to a higher power. Also, through perspective, Rebbetzin Silver
spoke powerfully about the work and progress within the Silver Spring community itself. About eight years ago, Rebbetzin Silver spoke of an infertility presentation she was involved in with other leading community members at Young Israel Shomrei Emunah that had a very low turnout. She left that talk disheartened. Then, a couple years after that point, Chaim Lazarus and a few other dedicated individuals met with Rebbetzin Silver in Chaim’s kitchen and the Bonei Olam of Greater Washington chapter was born. And now, to look at all the hundreds of people (there is no exact tally of how many attendees there were, but conservative estimates put it around 250 or more) that came out on February 23rd for Bonei Olam, it left her uplifted and extremely proud of the growth of Bonei Olam here.
Towards the end of her remarks, Rebbetzin Silver read a passage from ‘Winnie the Poo’ about an interaction between Poo and Piglet when
Poo was sad. The excerpted passage ended with Piglet simply sitting next to Poo to be there for him as a symbol of quiet support. Similarly, Rebbetzin Silver said, those would-be grandparents should not have extensive discussions and ask a lot of questions of their children. Rather, they should simply be there for their children. Send a text like ‘Thinking of you.’ Or send money. But don’t ask questions. That will simply make it awkward. Be there for them. Let them know they are simply in your thoughts.
The end of the fantastic evening ended with a raffle of various prizes that were donated to Bonei Olam to help with meeting the fundraising goal of $100,000 to support the $120,000 annual budget for the Greater Washington chapter. At the present time, almost $84,000 has been raised. Please contribute to help us reach our goal!
To support, go to charidy.com/ GreaterWashingtonBO.
Greater Washington: Around the Community Star Player Breaks Record On The Basketball Court At Berman Hebrew Academy
Scoring 1,000 career points as a high school basketball player is a rare feat. A student athlete at Berman Hebrew Academy has doubled that, marking a first in the school’s history.
Alex August, a junior at Berman, has played on Berman’s varsity boys’ basketball team since ninth grade and surpassed 2,000 career points during a Jan. 28 game.
“No one [at Berman] has done it before this, so it’s pretty significant,” August said of his milestone. “[I’m] very happy with myself. All the work I put in, all the time I put in has paid off.”
Career points in basketball are the total number of points a player has scored throughout their career. Reaching 1,000 career points is the “ultimate goal” for a high school basketball player, according to an article published in USA Today High School Sports, an achievement August attained last academic year as a sophomore.
“People thought I was gonna hit 2,000 my senior year, so it was pretty impressive that I hit it my junior year instead of my senior year,” August said.
Before the away game against D.C.’s Washington International School, which Berman won 71-16, August recalled feeling jitters.
“I had a little [bit of] nerves, but once the game started, I was locked in,” August said. “I was ready to hit it, but, of course, I was trying to find everyone else to shoot so everyone felt part of [the game]. It was a great time; everyone was just playing their heart out.”
While August doesn’t keep close track of his career points — he remains steadfastly focused on his teammates and the game — his best friend and coach both keep a tally and told August that he was about 40 points away from the big 2,000.
He described the moment he scored that breakthrough shot at the top right wing.
“I hit the three[-point shot] and then [discovered] my shoe was untied,” August recalled, laughing. “Then everyone started cheering, but then I realized I can’t tie my shoe. I ended up not tying it, but I went down to tie it. People made fun of me.”
The referee called a timeout to celebrate. August’s teammates huddled around him and his parents displayed a sign they’d made for him in a moment the student athlete won’t soon forget: “[My parents] couldn’t stop saying how proud they are of me.”
“He got to celebrate with his friends,” Coach Yonah Singer said of August. “He’s got a great group of friends on the team. They’re really his guys.”
August credited his teammates for a large part of his success.
“They look for me way more than I could possibly ask for,” August said of his teammates. “They pass me the ball even when [the shot is] not there. They trust me a lot. That’s why I think we work so well together, because they trust me even if it’s not there and I trust them when the shot might not be there.”
Uncle Moishy Visits Silver Spring
The Silver Spring Jewish Center hosted an Uncle Moishy concert, bringing families together for an unforgettable afternoon of music, joy and laughter. The event, organized by the Leo Bernstein Jewish Academy, was a hit with children and adults alike, as Uncle Moishy performed his signature songs
that teach Jewish values. Earlier, the Leo Bernstein Jewish Academy held a vibrant Open House, showcasing its commitment to its values of “Jewish Education for Every Child.”
The event highlighted the school’s dedication to providing high quality Jewish education in an all-inclusive and welcoming environment.
He also credited his older sister, Maya, who practiced basketball with him “basically every day” in their driveway growing up. August has played the sport since the age of 4 and began to play the sport seriously in 2020.
Singer, Berman’s athletic director who has coached the boys’ varsity basketball team for eight years, said August’s achievement is “pretty much unheard of anywhere.”
“He’s a special kid,” Singer said. “Alex is just an unbelievable shooter. Of all the things he can do — and he can do a lot of things — his ability to just score the basketball is top-notch. I mean, 2,000 points in a high school career is absolutely insane for anybody.”
Singer added that the longevity of August’s tenure as a varsity player helped him achieve those 2,000 points, as most underclassmen at Berman do not make the varsity team.
“He’s got 10 games left in his junior year, and he’s already passed that mark … his third year on varsity,” the coach said.
Having graduated from Berman himself in 2001, Singer said the “big number” in his day was 1,000 career points.
“I hit my 1,000th [point] in the championship game at the end of my senior year and was one of the high scorers in school history,” Singer said. “To see a player more than double that in his junior year is a pretty crazy accomplishment.”
Although Singer doesn’t have the exact stats for all varsity boys basket-
ball players in Berman history, he is confident that August is the school’s highest scorer.
But for August, it’s more than a numbers game: it’s about camaraderie — the teammates “have been best friends since fifth or sixth grade” — and the love of the sport. Basketball is a large aspect of Jewish culture, with August’s milestone being posted on X by Jewish Hoops America.
August, who has attended Berman “all his life,” said he loves the Jewish community there.
“I really enjoy representing Berman in the best possible way,” August said. “I feel like basketball is such a big point at Berman.”
He has his sights on continuing to win other games and championships down the line, remaining the same humble kid that Singer counts himself lucky to know and coach. The next goal for the team is a victory at the end-of-year “big Jewish tournament,” Singer said.
He added that this current accomplishment will likely be one of August’s many.
“Putting things in perspective, 3,000 points is not off the table for him,” Singer said.
Article by :Zoe Bell (reprinted with permission)
Photo courtesy of Alex August
Beyond the Headlines A weekly glimpse into the Israel you won’t read about in the news
By Sivan Rahav Meir
Anticipating the Month of Joy
It feels like an emotional roller coaster: deep mourning for all those who were murdered; elation at the hostages who were released; gratitude for the miracle of the five buses that didn’t explode because a massive attack failed, thank God; and the shock and outrage at the incomprehensible cruelty and manipulation of the enemy who delayed returning Shiri Bibas’s body.
This upcoming Friday and Shabbat will be Rosh Chodesh Adar. We pray for a month of blessing, peace, Torah and honor.
The month of Adar symbolizes joy – specifically after a great calamity. Archenemy Haman (a descendant of Amalek) wanted to destroy the entire Jewish people. Through our proper conduct, God turned everything around for the good. Adar calls us to return to ourselves, to our identity, and through this to merit joy and success.
What Gave Sigi Cohen Her Strength?
Sigi Cohen is the mother of hostage Eliya Cohen who was released last week from Hamas captivity. I first met her about a year ago, during one of the first Shabbatot that I spent with her and other families of hostages under the auspices of the Kesher Yehudi organization. At the time, I interviewed her on stage and this is what she told me:
“Two years ago, I experienced a medical crisis that had me overwhelmed with worry and fear. One day, Eliya called me and said in a firm voice: ‘Ima, aren’t you a woman of faith? Don’t give up, God is running the show. You have strength. I won’t allow you to fall.’
“I realized that he was right. Fear doesn’t help. From that time on, I was determined to get up. We all have deep reservoirs of strength and faith. That conversation with Eliya gave me strength that lasts to this day. I always hear his voice in my head lifting me up.”
Throughout the time that her son was held hostage in Gaza, Sigi did, indeed, get up and take action. She organized gatherings, in Israel and around the world, dedicated to doing mitzvot and good deeds. She especially encouraged people to go to shul and participate in the recitation of Birkat Kohanim since her son, who is a Kohen, was not able to recite the blessing during that time.
Back then, she told me that we need to spread Eliya’s message to the entire Jewish people: “We all need to listen to that small voice deep inside that tells us that God believes in us. You have strength. Do not allow yourself to fall.”
Don’t let Hamas take our minds captive, too
Hamas took our dear brothers and sisters captive, and now, with the weekly hostage releases, Hamas is trying to take our minds captive as well. We have experienced extreme sadness at the return of those who were murdered, individuals whom we have come to know almost personally. We also feel extreme joy each time we welcome those who remained alive, whom we’ve also come to know almost personally.
This entire grotesque scenario is being staged by a terrorist organization of Islamo-Nazis that is torturing us all to the last second. Needless to say, they are overjoyed to be able to sow conflict among us, causing many of us to forget who the true enemy is.
I was privileged to get to know Shelly Shem Tov several days after her
son Omer was taken captive. We met at a large prayer gathering that took place at the Kotel. Since then, whenever she was interviewed, I noticed something astonishing: She refused to allow Hamas to take her mind captive. She spoke only about unity and prayer, about our roots, about spiritual strength. Again and again, she returned to stories about Omer, who kept Shabbat even in captivity, and rebuked those who tried to weaken her stance. She asked only that we give her and Omer the strength to persist, and indeed, that strength was evident last week when, thank God, she finally welcomed Omer back home.
Let’s try to follow Shelly Shem Tov’s example, as we replace the lying propaganda of our enemy with the clear words of truth that we read recently in the Torah portion, words spoken at Har Sinai that continue to reverberate, reminding us of who we are: “And now if you will obey My voice and keep My covenant, you shall be My unique treasure from among all peoples... and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.”
Building Your Own Sanctuary
The accompanying photo shows the Chabad women shluchot gathered at their annual conference in New York. The NYPD closed off the road so that thousands of women who oversee huge organizations of Torah, education, and chessed— hubs of activity on behalf of the Jewish people— could pose for a group photo. When the conference ended, each woman headed back to her post in Australia, Ukraine, Tel Aviv,
Thailand, or wherever she is stationed across the globe.
This week’s Torah portion of Terumah describes the building of the Mishkan, the nation of Israel’s spiritual center in the desert. God instructed the people, before they arrived in Israel, to construct a Mishkan that would accompany them throughout their 40-year journey.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe zt”l understood this as God’s call to each one of us in every time and place: Wherever you go, build a mishkan, act as an emissary, and add light to your surroundings. Don’t wait until you reach your final destination. We are told to build a mishkan specifically in the desert, to teach us that regardless of our circumstances, wherever we are and whatever we are doing, it is our task to spread Torah and mitzvot, to draw people close and to strengthen them, and thus to find our mission in that particular place.
Thank you to all the exceptional Chabad shluchot for establishing “sanctuaries” throughout the world with so much love and devotion. And thank you for demonstrating that each one of us is an emissary, responsible for impacting our environment and transforming our own home into a mishkan. By doing so, we hasten the building of our Beit Hamikdash and the coming of Mashiach.
Translated by Yehoshua Siskin, Janine Muller Sherr
Want to read more by Sivan Rahav Meir? Google The Daily Thought or visit sivanrahavmeir.com
The Week In News
The Week In News
Ayatollah Meets With Qatar Emir
Last Wednesday, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the supreme leader of Iran, hosted Qatari Emir Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani in Tehran for a discussion about the two nations’ relationship.
Before meeting Khamenei, the Emir of Qatar spoke with Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian.
“One of the policies announced by the
administration of Mr. Pezeshkian is the expansion of ties with neighbors,” said Khamenei.
Tehran aims to expand its ties with nearby countries in an effort to regain power in the region. Since the October 7 massacre, which led to the wars in Gaza and Lebanon, Iran has become significantly weaker. Rocket exchanges between Israel and Iran led to the weakening of Iran’s air defenses. The wars in Gaza and Lebanon have wiped out much of Hamas and Hezbollah, two of Iran’s proxies. Additionally, the fall of the now-exiled Syrian President Bashar al-Assad ended Iran’s influence in Syria.
Last week, Iranian ally Falih alFayyadh, the head of Iraq’s Popular Mobilization Units, also came to Tehran.
Khamenei and the Qatari emir reportedly discussed the Palestinians, with both vowing to continue supporting the “Palestinian cause.”
“The Emir also referred to the agreements reached between Iran and Qatar and said the two countries will soon establish a joint commission to increase the volume of bilateral trade,” according to a report by the Iran-run IRNA news outlet.
Currently, around $6 billion in Iranian funds are frozen because of sanctions imposed by the United States. In September 2023, the funds were released by South Korea to a bank in Qatar, where they continue to be kept. Tehran reportedly believes Qatar, a “friendly and brotherly country,” will defy the U.S. and return the assets.
Train Hits Elephants
A train in Sri Lanka smashed into a herd of elephants last Wednesday night, resulting in the deaths of at least six of the animals.
No passengers were injured, but wildlife veterinary officers are treating a female elephant and an injured calf in the city of Giritale, Sri Lanka’s state-
owned Daily News reported.
The Meenagaya train hit the herd at the 140 km mark between the Minneriya and Galoya railway stations at around 11:30 p.m. on Wednesday.
According to the World Wildlife Fund (WWF), Sri Lankan elephants are the largest and the darkest of the Asian elephants. Their herd size ranges from 12-20 individuals. Typically, the oldest female leads the herd.
Elephants are a popular tourist attraction and hold symbolic, cultural and economic importance for Sri Lanka.
In October, at least two elephants were killed when a train carrying thousands of gallons of fuel hit a herd in northwest Sri Lanka in the town of Minneriya, about 200 km from the capital, Colombo. The train driver said that the herd of nearly 20 elephants suddenly tried to cross over the railway track.
“There was about 10 meters (32 feet) between us. So, we couldn’t do anything. We pressed the brakes to their maximum capacity, but there was nothing much we could do. At least four elephants were knocked down,” driver N.W. Jayalath explained.
Greater Washington Weekday Minyanim Guide
6:15 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M-F
6:25 am Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F
6:30 am Beth Sholom Congregation M-F
Beit Halevi (Sfardi) M, T
Chabad of Silver Spring M-F
Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY M-F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S YGW M, Th
6:35 am Ohr Hatorah M, Th
6:40 am YGW S, T, W, F
Magen David Sephardic Congregation M-Th
6:45 am Beit Halevi (Sfardi) S, T, W, F
Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th
Ohr Hatorah T, W, F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M, Th
6:50 am Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah M, Th Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F
Chabad of Upper Montgomery County M-F
6:55 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah T, W, F
7:00 am Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S Silver Spring Jewish Center S
Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah T, W, F
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac T, W, F
7:05 am Kesher Israel M, Th
7:15 am Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th
Kesher Israel T, W, F
Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue M-F
Ohr Hatorah S
7:30 am Chabad of DC M-F
Chabad of Potomac M-F JROC M-F
Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) M-F
7:45 am YGW (Yeshiva Session Only) S-F
8:00 am Beth Sholom Congregation S
Kemp Mill Synagogue S Kesher Israel S
Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY S
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S Chabad of Upper Montgomery County S
Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah S
8:00 am YGW (High School; School-Contingent) S-F
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac S Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) S
8:05 am Ezras Israel Congregation of Rockville M, Th
8:15 am Ohr Hatorah S Ezras Israel Congregation of Rockville S, T, W, F
Kehilat Pardes / Berman Hebrew Academy S-F
Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F
8:30 am Chabad of DC S Chabad of Potomac S JROC S Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue S Silver Spring Jewish Center S YGW (Summer Only) S-F
8:45 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S-F
9:00 am Chabad of Silver Spring S Kemp Mill Synagogue S
mincha
12:30 pm YGW Sunday
1:00 pm Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F
1:10 pm YGW M-Th
3:00 pm YGW Middle School School Days
mincha/maariv
Before Shkiah (15-18 minutes), S-TH
Beit Halevi (Sfardi)
Beth Sholom Congregation
Chabad of Potomac
Chabad of Silver Spring
Chabad of Upper Montgomery County
Ezras Israel Congregation of Rockville (20 min before, S-F) JROC
Kemp Mill Synagogue
Kesher Israel
Magen David Sephardic Congregation
Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue Ohr Hatorah
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Asheknaz) Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sefarhadi) maariv
6:00 pm YGW School Days
7:30 pm Young Israel Shomrai Emunah
8:15
8:45
9:45 pm Ohr Hatorah M-Th
shacharis
WHY DOUBLETREE? WHY DOUBLETREE?
With Y Events as DoubleTree’s Preferred With Y Events Preferred Caterer, let us turn your vision into a Caterer, let us turn your vision into a seamless and unforgettable simcha. seamless simcha.
DoubleTree by Hilton Baltimore North - Pikesville is now partnering with Y Events and Catering as their preferred kosher caterer. This collaboration brings one of Baltimore’s unique culinary artists and event planners into the hotel’s enhanced offerings for guests looking for personalized and affordable kosher catering.
Is Y Events and Catering new to Baltimore?
Well, yes and no. The company name Y Events is new, but Yaakov
has been part of the Baltimore culinary scene for more than 13 years (formerly called Elegant Events by Yaakov Simanowitz). Yaakov is renowned for his commitment to quality and creativity, providing exceptional kosher catering along with party planning. Having led menu development at local restaurants, managed event programming and Pesach program experiences for many years, he has always been known for using fresh ingredients and delectable combinations that are specialized for each event.
Yaakov was inspired at a young age to cook. He enjoyed listening to his father Barry Simanowitz’s Chef Bare show on the Nachum Segal network, helped his father cater in Pesach hotels, and watched him manage weddings for Ram Caterers. Yaakov has been in the nursing home industry for the past decade, while fulfilling his passion for food on the side. With Y Events, Yaakov is solely focused on catering and bringing the best food and event experiences to Baltimore.
Why should someone host their event at the DoubleTree in Pikesville?
DoubleTree by Hilton Baltimore North is conveniently located in
the heart of Pikesville, right off the beltway. It offers a range of event spaces and accommodations, making it an ideal venue for both personal and corporate events. Having undergone a complete renovation over the past few years, the DoubleTree provides a stunning backdrop to any event. With more than 20,000sf of gathering space, the hotel can service 800+ guests for a banquet dinner. Additionally, the hotel is the perfect venue for the Shabbos observant customer with more than 120 guest rooms outfitted to bypass the electronic locks that are issues at other hotels. On-site amenities include a Torah, chumashim, and siddurim, making it easy to host Shabbos and holiday retreats. The new collaboration with Y Events blends a unique culinary expertise in a beautiful setting, making it an ideal choice for any simcha or corporate event.
What can we expect from this collaboration?
With Y Events as the preferred kosher caterer, clients can expect a seamless planning process and a commitment to excellence in every detail at an affordable price. Wedding packages start at $24,000 for 300 people and include photographer, videographer, a one-man band, and centerpieces. Y Events at the
DoubleTree should not be viewed as a takanah package, everything is customizable to each client’s desire!
Can you share some of Yaakov’s unique catering experiences?
Yaakov has catered some fun and crazy parties! When the world was shut down due to COVID, Yaakov ran weddings outside his home. He catered a wedding on a farm with no electricity or running water. He recently catered Yoni Z’s Baltimore l’chaim after the NCSY concert late into the night! He has pulled off engagement parties or BBQ dinners with only a few hours’ notice. When you bring a new and crazy idea to Yaakov, he just loves figuring out how to implement it. It’s never “No”, it’s “Y not?”!
What’s the best way to contact Yaakov to get a proposal to tailor an event?
Yaakov would be thrilled to discuss your special day, please email info@yeventsandcatering. com or call 410-657-2533. You can also follow him on Instagram @ yeventsandcatering.
The Week In News
Iran Executed 975 People in 2024
In 2024, Iran executed at least 975 people, according to data published by Iran Human Rights (IHR) and Together Against the Death Penalty, two human rights groups based in Norway and France, respectively. According to the rights groups, the number of executions was the highest last year since 2008, when IHR started recording the killings.
According to the groups, the number “reveals a horrifying escalation in the use of the death penalty by the Islamic Republic,” which uses capital punishment as a “central tool of political oppression.”
“These executions are part of the Islamic Republic’s war against its own people to maintain its grip on power,” said Mahmood Amiry-Moghaddam, the director of IHR. “Five people were executed on average every single day in the last three months of the year as the threat of war between Iran and Israel escalated.”
Iran has prosecuted many citizens it says it suspects are working for Israel. Iran executes individuals for serious crimes, including murder and drug offenses. However, the government, in an effort to crack down on opposition, also kills citizens charged with hard-to-define crimes, such as “corruption on earth” and “rebellion.”
In 2023, Iran executed 834 citizens. One year later, that number rose by 17% to 975, 31 of whom were female. Four of those executed were hanged publicly. Most executions in the Republic are conducted by hangings in prison yards, though some are in public.
Despite the high count, the actual number of executions in 2024 may be higher.
Since 2025 began, Iran has already executed 121 or more people, IHR said.
So Much Heartbreak
The abduction of Ariel and Kfir Bibas, two young children who were four years old and nine months old at the time, on October 7 typified the horrors of the massacre, as their capture by Hamas, along with their parents, became a symbol of the immense suffering endured by Israeli families whose loved ones are in captivity.
Over 500 days later, the deaths of Ariel and Kfir, along with their mother
L CHAIM
9:30 am
Yoga with Deborah Bandos
10:00 am
Baking with Yehudis
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi KarpParsha Dilemmas in Tezaveh
1:00 pm
Arts & Crafts with Shifra
2:00 pm
Music with Mr. Fried
Shiri, were confirmed after Hamas returned their bodies in an unspeakably evil ceremony, during which the terror group paraded around the caskets of the young, innocent, red-headed children. Inside the coffins were propaganda material. On top was a map of Israel along with the words, “We will not give up a centimeter of Palestine.” Images of the victims were on the caskets, while the coffin intended for Shiri also had her “date of arrest,” October 7, 2023.
Although Hamas falsely claimed that an Israeli airstrike killed the children and their mother, forensic evidence and intelligence prove that the terror group “brutally murdered” the three in late November 2023.
In another display of sheer evil, Hamas returned a body that it falsely claimed belonged to Shiri Bibas. The terror group sent the remains of a different unidentified woman who was not a hostage – a “very serious violation” of the ceasefire, according to the Israel Defense Forces. The next day, after a worldwide uproar, Hamas returned Shiri’s remains. Israel confirmed the iden-
WEEKLY CALENDAR MARCH 3RD - MARCH 7TH
9:30 am
Yoga with Deborah Bandos
10:15 am
Anagrams with Malka Zweig
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi KarpHistory - Women who helped to establish the State of Israel
1:00 pm
BINGO
1:45 pm
Guitar with Yossi K
9:30 am
Yoga with Deborah Bandos
10:15 am
Anagrams with Malka Zweig
10:30 am
Bais Yaakov Middle School Visit
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp- Purim Introduction
1:00 pm
Arts & Crafts with Shifra
1:45 pm
Guitar with Yossi K
9:30 am
Yoga with Deborah Bandos
10:15 am
Anagrams with Malka Zweig
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp- Halachos and History of Purim
1:00 pm
Arts & Crafts with Shifra
1:45 pm
Guitar with Yossi K
9:30 am
Yoga with Deborah Bandos
10:00 am
Baking with Yehudis
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi KarpParsha Overview and Some Midrashim of Purim
1:00 pm
Music with Aharon Grayson
The Week In News
tities of Ariel, Kfir, and ultimately, Shiri.
Yarden Bibas, Shiri’s husband and the father of Kfir and Ariel, was also taken hostage on October 7 after Hamas invaded their home, Kibbutz Nir Oz. Hoping to save his family, he left the safe room to try to distract the terrorists. Yarden was released from captivity on February 1 after spending more than 500 days in terrorists’ hands.
The tragic news of the deaths marked an unspeakably heartbreaking end to months of uncertainty, fear, and hope that the children and their mother would make it out of Gaza alive.
“On this day, we are all united,” declared Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “We are all united in unbearable grief. We all ache with pain that is mixed with rage.”
He added that “we are all furious at the monsters of Hamas” and that Israel must and will “settle the score with the vile murderers.”
“The heart of the entire nation is mourning today. Hamas abducted, Hamas murdered, Hamas will be destroyed. We will take revenge against our enemies, and secure our future,” said Defense Minister Israel Katz.
Also released on Thursday was the body of Oded Lifshiftz, an 83-year-old hostage who was murdered over a year ago. He was also abducted from Kibbutz Nir Oz. Lifshitz’s wife Yocheved was also kidnapped on October 7 but was released around two weeks later.
“503 agonizing days of uncertainty have come to an end,” Lifshitz’s family stated. “We hoped and prayed so much for the ending to be different. Now we can mourn the husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather who we have been missing since October 7.”
Oded had been involved with helping
Palestinians before October 7, driving them from Gaza to hospitals in Israel. Yocheved said that she felt “betrayed” by those he helped after he was kidnapped and killed.
“Our abduction and your death have shaken me to the core,” Yocheved said at her husband’s funeral. “We fought all through the years for social justice, for peace. To my sorrow, we were hit by a terrible attack by those we helped on the other side. I stand here staggered to see the number of graves, and the terrible destruction of our community that was completely abandoned on October 7.”
According to the IDF, Palestinian Islamic Jihad killed Oded while he was in Gaza.
“Our family’s rehabilitation will start now and won’t end until the last hostage is returned,” his family added.
Open Miracles
On Thursday night, three empty buses exploded one after the other in parking lots in Bat Yam and Holon, two Tel Aviv suburbs. Two unexploded bombs were then located and dismantled on other nearby buses. The bombs reportedly contained 5 kilograms of explosives each.
The police believe that the explosions, which miraculously caused zero injuries and casualties, were orchestrated by terror groups in an effort to kill hundreds or thousands on Friday morning during
The Week In News
peak traffic times. The terror attack likely failed because the terrorists set the wrong time for the explosions on the clock.
In response to the attack, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu ordered the Israel Defense Forces to conduct a largescale operation in Judea and Samaria to crack down on terrorism. Netanyahu also told the police and Shin Bet to “increase preventative activities” in cities. At the time, Miri Regev, the transportation minister, instructed the Transportation Authority to pause service for all buses, trains, and light rails in order to carry out a search.
Tel Aviv District Police Chief Haim Saragarof said the explosives, which were improvised and had timers, appear to have originated from Judea and Samaria. The number of individuals involved in the attack is unclear, though three individuals, including two Jewish Israelis suspected of transporting the explosives, have been arrested.
A “revenge threat” from Tulkarm, a city in Judea and Samaria, was reportedly written on the explosives.
One of the unexploded devices was discovered by a bus passenger, who alerted the bus driver about a suspicious bag’s presence. The bus driver immediately got all the passengers off the bus.
“Miraculously, the buses arrived at the parking lots a moment before the explosion,” stated the Bat Yam Municipality, adding that the buses were also miraculously empty.
“In light of the severe terror attack attempts [in the Tel Aviv area] by Palestinian terror organizations against the civilian population in Israel, I instructed the IDF to increase the intensity of the counterterrorism activity in the Tulkram refugee camp, and all the refugee camps in Judea and Samaria,” stated Defense Minister Israel Katz. “We will hunt down the terrorists to the bitter end and destroy the terror infrastructure in the camps used as front line posts of the Iranian evil axis,” Katz added. “Residents who give shelter to terror will pay a heavy price.”
The IDF is investigating the bombings, along with Israel Police and the Shin Bet.
Operation Iron Wall
On January 21, Israel launched Operation Iron Wall to crack down on Palestinian terrorism in Judea and Samaria. The operation came shortly
after the Jewish state reached the ongoing ceasefire and hostage agreement with Hamas in Gaza.
Operation Iron Wall first hit the city of Jenin, a terror hub that Israel has repeatedly raided since the October 7 massacre. Since then, the operation has expanded to Tulkarem, Far’a, and Nur Shams.
According to UNRWA, a United Nations agency for Palestinians that was banned by Israel for employing Hamas terrorists, over 40,100 Palestinians have fled in the wake of Operation Iron Wall. Although some claim that the Israeli army ordered evacuations during terror raids, the IDF maintains that the evacuees left voluntarily.
Around a week ago, the Israel Defense Forces announced that it had eliminated over 60 terrorists and arrested over 210 others as part of the operation.
Since October 7, 2023, when Hamas terrorists stormed the southern border, brutally murdering 1,200 people and abducting 251 others, the IDF has detained around 6,000 Palestinian criminals in Judea and Samaria, over 2,350 of whom have ties with Hamas. During the same time period, the Israeli army has conducted more than 100 airstrikes in Judea and Samaria.
Since then, terrorists in Israel’s mainland and Judea and Samaria have killed 48 individuals. Another eight security forces were murdered while fighting terrorists in Judea and Samaria.
More than 500 Days of Torture
On Saturday, six hostages were released from Gaza, marking the conclusion of the ceasefire’s first phase. It is unclear whether Israel and Hamas will
The Week In News
agree to a phase two of the truce, allowing more hostages to return home.
Four of the abductees who were freed were taken on October 7. The other two entered Gaza voluntarily a decade ago due to mental illness.
The four Israelis were named as Tal Shoham, Omer Shem Tov, Omer Wenkert, and Eliya Cohen, who survived 500 days of physical and psychological torture in Gaza.
Avera Mengistu, an Ethiopian Israeli, was released after 3,821 days in the Gaza Strip, which he entered in September 2014. Hisham al-Sayed, a Bedouin Israeli, was also freed. He entered the Strip in April 2015. Both are mentally ill and were 28 years old at the time of their subsequent abduction.
As per footage taken by the terror group, Hamas forced two current hostages, Eviatar David and Guy Gilboa-Dalal, to watch the propaganda ceremony before the four Israelis’ release.
For the entirety of his captivity, except for the first 50 days, Shem Tov was held captive all by himself in a tunnel. For the first 50 days, he was with his friend Itay Regev, who was released in November 2023. According to Shem Tov’s mother,
he “didn’t see daylight at all.” Still, he’s the same person: “Omer the funny, Omer the optimist – just 16-17 kilos (35-37 pounds) less.”
Hamas forced Shem Tov to kiss a terrorist’s forehead during the ceremony before his release.
During his captivity, Shem Tov knew very little about what was happening in the outside world but heard about the “Bring Them Home” protests, which he said strengthened him. At first, Hamas held him in apartments before moving him to tunnels. His hands were initially tied. Hamas forced him to dress like a Muslim woman when they transported him. At one point, the terrorists dropped him into a tunnel on a small bucket. The terror group cursed and spat at him.
For some time, Cohen was held alone. But for the majority of his captivity, he was with Or Levy and Eli Sharabi, who were both freed recently, and Alon Ohel, who remains in captivity. The four were chained by their feet and hands, and survived physical abuse. They stayed in pitch-black tunnels, which were sometimes illuminated by a torch. They were, for months at a time, banned from walking and standing. Starved by the terror-
ists, the hostages were forced to watch their captors eat meals.
Cohen’s leg was shot on October 7, but he never received medical attention. Only in the days leading up to his freedom was Cohen allowed to go outside. After his release, he found out that his fiancee, Ziv Abud, lived through the massacre, while his best friend tragically passed away.
While in captivity, Wenkert lost 66 pounds and received no medicine, despite suffering from colitis. He was completely isolated from the outside world. When he was released, he found out that Kim Demati, a dear friend, was killed on October 7.
Wenket and Shoham, who were held together in very humid tunnels for eight months, were starved by Hamas. But shortly before their release, the terrorists gave them food to make it seem like they weren’t in bad shape.
Mengistu and al-Sayed, the two hostages who were kidnapped around 10 years ago after entering the Strip voluntarily, both returned almost mentally unresponsive. Mengistu’s condition was “not good,” according to his family. Sayed, on the other hand, was “destroyed, emotionally and cognitively,”
his family said, though he looked better than he did in a 2022 video from Hamas showing him sick and weak in bed, connected to an oxygen tank.
“His mental condition is very difficult; he isn’t responsive,” al-Sayed’s father told Kan radio. “He looks like he was in a torture camp for 10 years. We didn’t imagine that Hamas could be so cruel – they did something disgusting. He is emotionally and cognitively destroyed.”
Al-Sayed, before going into Gaza, was “diagnosed with schizophrenia and a personality disorder, among other conditions,” according to Human Rights Watch. Al-Sayed was the only hostage released Saturday who wasn’t forced to participate in a propaganda Hamas ceremony. Hamas said that it released al-Sayed quietly out of respect for Arabs, despite the fact that the terror group knowingly killed and abducted many Arabs on October 7.
Terrorist Dies After Release
Nael Obeid, a Hamas terrorist
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known for his role in the deadly 2003 Cafe Hillel bombing in Jerusalem, fell to his death near his home in East Jerusalem after being freed in a hostage-prisoner exchange a week ago.
Obeid was freed on February 15 as part of the ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas. It is unclear why he fell, although he was pronounced dead at the hospital.
Obeid helped plan one of the most infamous suicide bombing attacks during the Second Intifada, which killed seven people and wounded 57 others at Cafe Hillel on Emek Refaim Street.
At the time, Obeid headed a Hamas cell in the East Jerusalem neighborhood of Issawiya alongside his relative, Ahmad Obeid. The cell took orders from Hamas operatives in Ramallah, who found a suicide bomber for them to go through with the attack. Obeid and his relative spent a year looking for targets and procuring weapons before Ramez Abu Salim carried out the suicide bombing on September 9, 2003.
Dr. David Applebaum, who treated suicide bombing victims as head of Shaare Zedek Hospital’s emergency room, and his daughter Nava, who was to be married the next day, were both killed in the attack.
Obeid was arrested a year later and was given seven life sentences – plus an extra
Hy”d, along with other people who were killed in the October 7, 2023, massacre, and to call for the release of the remaining hostages being held in Gaza by terror groups.
Around 15,000 people attended the rally, waving Israeli flags and orange handkerchiefs as a homage to the red-headed Bibas children.
The Bibas family, which held mixed Argentine, Israeli and German citizenship, became a symbol of the struggle to return the hostages from the Strip. At 4 years old and 9 months old, respectively, Ariel and Kfir Bibas were the youngest captives taken hostage to Gaza. Their bodies, along with that of their mother Shiri, who was 32 at the time of her kidnapping, were returned to Israel last week in a heart-wrenching display of grief and sorrow.
Israel’s ambassador to Argentina, Eyal Sela, addressed the attendees, holding the Hamas terror group responsible for the deaths of the Bibas children
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The Week In News
exceed the amount of explosives found in one standard mine. But the impact on morale was powerful.”
The blow dealt to Hezbollah “broke its spirit,” Barnea noted.
“Victory in war is not measured by the number of dead or the number of missiles destroyed, but by victory over the spirit, morale and motivation of the enemy.”
He praised the work of Mossad personnel. “The Mossad does not have tanks or armored personnel carriers, we do not have fighter jets or missiles – the men and women of the Mossad are the engine of its work and its successes,” he said. “They are the creative minds that make the impossible possible. They are the fighters, the special operations forces, the technology, intelligence and cyber personnel who create superiority on the battlefield. They are the ones who devise the strategy. Thanks to them, the Mossad faces many threats and challenges every day and is able to do so.”
Barnea also spoke about the plight of the hostages, sharing that, “above all, our commitment is to return home all the hostages, living and dead.” According to him, “it is the supreme moral
imperative to return our brothers and sisters from the infernal tunnels.”
The pager operation was launched on September 17, 2024, amid fears that it would soon be discovered. On the first day of the operation, the pagers of Hezbollah terrorists in Lebanon and Syria exploded. The next day, on September 18, their walkie-talkies exploded. The explosions of the pagers and walkie-talkies killed about 30 terrorists and injured around 3,000 others.
Oldest Holocaust Survivor Dies
Rose Girone turned 113 on January 13 of this year. She was believed to be the oldest survivor of the Holocaust. On Monday, Rose passed away in New York due to old age.
Rose ran a knitting shop in Forest Hills, Queens. She said that knitting
helped save her family during the Holocaust. She was outspoken about her experiences during the war and provided testimonies to the USC Shoah Foundation, the Holocaust Memorial and Tolerance Center of Nassau County and others.
“Everything that’s out there is really who my mother was,” Reha Bennicasa, Rose’s daughter, said, referring to the press coverage her mother received in recent years. “She was a strong lady, resilient. She made the best of terrible situations. She was very level-headed, very commonsensical. There was nothing I couldn’t bring to her to help me solve — ever — from childhood on. She was just a terrific lady… and I don’t know, when G-d made her, they broke the mold.”
Rose was born in Janov, Poland, in
1912. Her family settled in Hamburg, Germany, where they ran a theatrical costume shop. She married her husband Julius in 1938. Later that year, the couple moved to Breslau, Germany (now Wroclaw, Poland). After Kristallnacht, Julius was arrested and was sent to the Buchenwald concentration camp. Rose, eight months pregnant, fled the city to stay out of harm’s way.
In 1939, a cousin sent Rose a paper he said was a visa, written in Chinese. Shanghai was one of the last open ports in the world; Rose presented the visa to the Nazi authorities and was able to get her husband released from Buchenwald. The couple fled to Shanghai, where conditions were difficult, although Rose used knitting to support her family.
In 1947, the family moved to the United States, reuniting with Rose’s mother, brother and grandmother, who had all survived the war.
Rose told the Herald on her 113th birthday, “The secret to a long, healthy life is simple: Live every day with a purpose, have amazing children, and eat lots of dark chocolate.”
Thank You For Making The AIM Event A Huge Success!
We are beyond grateful for the incredible support from our community that helped make this year’s AIM event a resounding success. With over 500 women in attendance, we were able to raise much-needed funds to continue supporting this vital organization’s mission.
A special thank you to our AIM Event Coordinators:
Rebbetzin Eichenstein, Tzini Friedman, Bayla Berkowitz, Adina Chesir, Shifra Epstein, Rochel Gold, Rochel Horan,Michal Kronick, Bracha Mifsud, Sarala Tendler, Chana Vegh and all the AIM Ambassadors.
Additionally, we would like to express our deepest gratitude to our AIM Services Coordinators:
Sarah Gelberman
VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR
Pnina Rothenberg FOLLOW-UP COORDINATOR
Esther Ribakow
Mindy Orner
Michal Schechet LACTATION
Elana Blumenfeld
Andrea Luft
Meira Mandel
Sarah Sokolovsky MOMMY & ME
Your support makes all the difference, and together, we continue
We usher in the month of Adar this week aspiring to fulfill the Talmudic dictum, ‘as soon as Adar enters, we increase in happiness’
How does one indeed increase happiness?
Is there a formula to follow or a prayer to render?
The Mikdash is defined as שושמ, the joy of all earth. (ג חמ םילהת)
Atop the Mishkan lay a large expanse from the hide of a mysterious creature known as the שחת — Tachash
The Tachash only existed during the construction of the Mishkan, becoming extinct afterward.
We are taught that it is also referred to as אנוגסס, an Aramaic term composed of two words, סס — like the Hebrew word שֹשָֹ meaning joy, and אנוג related to םינווג — hues, because it rejoices and takes pride in its hues.
Might there possibly be a correlation to the objective of G-d’s residence as the source of ‘joy in the world’ and the symbolic topping on the Mishkan with the skin of the Tachash who rejoices over its colors?
The great rabbinic scholar and personality, the Reisha Rav, Rav Yaakov Levine, who perished in the holocaust, offers a remarkable theory on the role of the Tachash.
Although the actual identity of this creature is uncertain, the Talmud asserts it is the same animal known as the Keresh. The Tachash/Keresh
possesses a single horn. The Talmud states that its horn is אתוקל — deficient i.e. not beautiful. The Aruch says it is not pretty because of its multi-colors. It is an oddity more than an enhancement.
The great Gaon of Vilna suggests that it is precisely this animal’s pride despite its deficiency that extols its greatness. It is happy with its lot. It is this instinct implanted within this creature that represents a lesson to us to find happiness with ourselves despite the lack we may have.
This answers another dilemma. The Talmud avers that this Tachash is a היח — beast, rather than a המהב— animal. The Midrash asserts that G-d selected animals as opposed to beasts to be utilized as sacrifices in the Temple because ‘G-d seeks the pursued’ (ג וט תלהק) and shuns the pursuer — beasts of prey.
How then can the Tachash, a beast, be included as material in the construction of G-d’s abode?
It is precisely since despite its beastly status, it was born an underdog, handicapped with an inferior hued horn, and accepted happily its fate, nevertheless.
He adds that one of the proofs the Talmud offers in the name of Rav Yosef that indeed this Tachash is a kosher animal is the very fact it rejoices over its colors. Clearly it is not merely the happiness in its colorful coat that indicates its special character and worthiness, but more so its ability to rejoice despite its strange and defective horn. (ןויעהו שרדה)
The key to happiness is acceptance of our lot, not only in our ma-
terial strivings but equally so in our spiritual attainments. The Vilna Gaon says although one should never be complacent in setting spiritual goals, one should never be discouraged if one has not yet reached them yet and be happy with what he has obtained.
One must also learn from the story of Purim that G-d in his abiding love and faith in His people, will provide what we need to prod us closer. Wasn’t that the message behind His maneuvering of Haman’s decree and all the events to get us back in shape?
If we yearn for it, G-d provides all that we each need to reach our personal and unique objectives.
Might that be the lesson in suddenly bringing into existence the mythical Tachash just when we needed it?
Rashi says that we accepted the Torah anew in the days of Purim, סנה
— out of love of the miracle. Might this intimate our awareness of His love He exhibited toward us in the miracle he performed for us?
If only we would inculcate into our souls these two realities: to feel happy and privileged in our lot however deficient it may yet be and live with the consciousness that we are provided exactly what we need to fulfill our purpose on this earth. If we succeed, we will sense the ‘joy on earth’ we are destined for.
The beloved Gadol, Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach got married on a Friday on a year when the 15th of Adar fell out on Shabbos resulting in a Purim Meshulash, where Purim and its mitzvos were celebrated over the
three days of Erev Shabbos, Shabbos and Sunday.
At Seudah Shelishis he gave a brilliant drasha in the presence of the greatest Yerushalmi sages of that generation. He addressed the question of marrying on Purim and its possible conflict with the principle of
ןיא, that one should not mix two distinct obligations of joy. It is for this reason we do not have marriages on Chol HaMoed since one must focus on the joy of celebrating Yom Tov exclusively and not be distracted with the duty to rejoice with one’s wife.
He went on to distinguish between the two situations. On Purim we must simply regale in every aspect of life that is meant to bring us joy, not over any specific event or commemoration, just to bask in our privilege to be in His presence at every opportunity afforded to us in life. We focus not on the vehicle that brings joy, but on the relationship that we have as His joyous children. He proves this from the fact that the peak of happiness of Purim is expressed even at the point where we cannot even think straight and discern between יכדרמ ךורב and ןמה רורא! We are just supposed to be happy in our lot!
As we enter this marvelous month, we need not get anxious over what must be done specifically to ‘rejoice’ in. Just be happy and feel fortunate that we are loved, cherished, and guided by G-d who appreciates us and holds out eternal hope for our attaining the greatness we are destined for!
You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ ohelmoshebaltimore.com
PARSHA
OVERVIEW
The Jewish people are instructed to make contributions which will fund the Mishkan. The Torah discusses the various components of the Mishkan, including the Aron, Shulchan, Menorah, coverings, walls as well as contents of the Mishkan. The Copper and Altar and courtyard are also discussed.
Quotable Quote “ ”
"In spirituality, the searching is the finding and the pursuit is the achievement."
TSorahparks
Inspiration. Everywhere.
Parshas Terumah on
Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. twerski
GEMATRIA
The Tabernacle - or ןכשמ - has a numerical value of 410, which is the exact same as the numerical value of שודק , which means lofty and holy.
Of course, this is not a coincidence, as the Tabernacle is the place where Hashem resides, a place of great holiness.
Our job on this world is to create a space for Hashem, thus infusing our lives with holiness!
EXCITING OPPORTUNITY:
BeH I am working on a book to be printed in time for PesachKarpas: The Big Dipper - and I’m looking for sponsors. Message me 443-938-0822
Rabbi Ori Strum is the author of “Ready. Set. Grow.” and “Dove Tales.”
His shiurim and other Jewish content can be found on Torah Anytime and Meaningful Minute. Your feedback is appreciated: oristrum@torahsparks.com
Pesukim - 96
- 3 Words - 1,145
QUICK VORT Chassidus
The Torah tells us that the Keruvim atop the Aron had their wings spread high so as to protect the Cover.
But why the imagery of wings? The Chizkuni (25:20) says an amazing thing.
The wings give the Keruvim the appearance of birds, which is significant because unlike other animals which spend their time on the low and dirty ground, birds spend their time flying in the air, a place of purity and cleanliness.
It 's a message for us in our own lives. Where do we spend most of our time? In the ground, the lowliness and impurity of this world, or in the air - in the holiness and purity of this world?
Let us strive to be like the Keruvim which had wings that resembled birds. Let's soar to great places.
Have a holy Shabbos!
The Chasam Sofer, Reb Moshe Sofer, says that a person who makes himself holy down here on this physical world, then Hashem will reside and dwell within him and be his partner in everything he does.
Partnering with Hashem is the single smartest decision a person can make in his life.
Who doesn’t want success and happiness? Go ahead, partner with Hashem!
Who came up with the word Tabernacle, the term we use to define the Mishkan?
Like seriously, where did that word come from?
If you know, please let me know!
Scan the QR code to join the Torah Sparks WhatsApp Chat for more content!
It is surely not one of our run-of-themill minhagim.
Generally, our minhagim deal with simanim – signs that indicate good mazal rather than bad fortune. They deal with eating or not eating specific foods. For example, on Shavuos, we eat milchigs; on Chanukah, we eat latkes; on Rosh Hashana, we eat honey. We don’t eat nuts or chrein during Yomim Noraim. Our other minhagim deal with special tefillos at special places: kapparos with chicken or money, tashlich by the water.
But dressing up? Where and when did this come from?
The first mention of the notion of Jews dressing up in costume seems to be in the responsa of one of our poskim from Italy, Rav Yehudah Mintz (Responsa #17). Rav Mintz lived in the late 1400s and was niftar in Venice in 1508. The teshuvah says that there is no prohibition involved in dressing up on Purim even in dressing like a woman since the reason is for simcha and not for the purpose of immorality or to violate Torah law. The Ramah quotes the psak in Shulchan Aruch Orech Chaim (696:8).
Headlines Halacha
Purim Costumes A History
By Rabbi Yair Hoffman
Moritz Steinschneider (1816-1907), the great bibliographer whose impact and opinions are still felt today, brilliant, though he was, cannot fathom that the minhag developed independently. He attributes the development of the minhag to the direct influence of the Roman Carnival. Carnival is a festive season which occurs immediately before the Catholic season of Lent. The Roman Carnival involved a public celebration and/or parade that combined elements of a circus, the wearing of masks and public street partying. People would dress up in masquerade during these celebrations. Carnival is a festival traditionally held in Roman Catholic and, to a lesser extent, Eastern Orthodox societies. It originated in Italy and was held in February.
But our minhag did not come from Roman Carnival. It is not that we believe that cultural diffusion does not exist. We do. But its application must be tempered with rational precision and reason. We must always display a cautious intellectual approach. Scholars who know what Klal Yisroel is actually all about know that this particular type of cultural dif-
fusion is about as likely as eggnog consumption and X-mas caroling affecting the behavior of Yeshiva boys on a Purim. It simply would not have happened. End of story. The apperception of the Roman Carnival in Torah circles was beyond the pale of acceptable activity even to mimic. This cannot be the source – especially so close to the time of Rav Yehudah Mintz, who sanctioned its use.
No, we must look for other sources in order to find truth. Steinschneider’s theory is just too pat. We must also bear in mind that silence in the seforim and responsa literature does not necessarily indicate absence in normative Jewish practice. A minhag could exist and yet not be mentioned in the seforim or teshuvos until much later.
The Apter Rebbe, Rav Avrohom Yehoshua Heschel, was known as the Oheiv Yisroel. He writes (Oheiv Yisroel Shemos Section on Parshas Zachor) that one of the reasons why we dress up in masquerade on Purim is to show that the miracle of Purim came from something that actually would have initially caused us much grief. This,
says the Apter Rebbe, stresses that the greatest joy lies in the knowledge that the opposite result might very well have happened. A good theory, but one that, perhaps, may sound more likely to be a post-development rationalization than the original cause of the minhag.
Rav Yitzchok Weiss, zt”l, author of the Siach Yitzchok and student of the Sheivet Sofer, explains (Siman 380) that the origin of the custom to dress up in masks is to highlight the fact that Haman hid his hate for the Jewish people when approaching Achashveirosh for permission to destroy Klal Yisroel. Hashem responded, middah keneged middah, measure for measure, by sending Eliyahu disguised as Charvonah.
Eliyahu, too, was hiding his real intent – to defend the Jewish people. Here, the idea of hiding and a mask as a central theme of Purim seems likely. It may very well have been the idea that spurred on the minhag in Klal Yisroel to wear masks.
The Bnei Yissaschar (on Adar 9:1) cites a Maharam Chagiz who quotes the Gemara in Megillah (12a). The Gemara
explains that the Jewish people only did things “lifnim,” hidden. In turn, Hashem as well only did things “lifnim,” hidden.
The theme of hiding and its association with Purim, therefore, is found explicitly in the Gemara itself. Could it have developed just then? Perhaps, but it is hard to imagine that it developed back then and no mention of this custom was made from 500 CE until the late 1400s.
The mystery continues.
However, there is a Tosfos in tractate Rosh Hashana (3a) that might be very enlightening here. The Tosfos deal with a fascinating episode in Parshas Chukas in the book of Bamidbar (21:1). The Canaani in the Negev (the south) hear that Klal Yisroel has arrived and go out to do battle with them. Rashi identifies the incongruity. The Negev? Why, that is Amalek!
Rashi’s conclusion is that it was Amalekites who spoke in the Canaani dialect so that Klal Yisroel will pray to Hashem that the Canaanim be handed over to them and not the Amalekies!
Our Tosfos, however, add more. They write that the Amalekies changed not only their voices and dialect, they changed their clothing, too. They cite the person who wrote the piyut for Parshas Zachor – ksus v’lashon shineh , clothing
and language he (or they) did change!
So here is the theory, then.
It is France and Germany, not Italy. The Paytan for Parshas Zachor has written that they changed their clothing – referring to the Amalekies. Jews see it. Parshas Zachor is close to Purim, very close. Some regular people read the
the piyut for Parshas Zachor. The origin is a kosher minhag b’Yisroel from German-Jewry.
And now we go back to the Apter Rav, the Oheiv Yisroel. He writes that one of the reasons why we dress up in masquerade on Purim is to show that the miracle of Purim came from something that actu-
of the Shulchan Aruch. “Chayav adam libsumei bePuraya ad delo yada.”
The reason is clear. We must become inebriated with the concept of Purim and not with wine. The concept of Purim is that Hashem is very close and that we can achieve remarkable dveikus b’Hashem at this time.
No matter how distant we are – even if we are “Arur Haman” in terms of our general distance from Hashem – we can become, at this particular time of Purim, as close as Boruch Mordechai.
piyut. They may think, perhaps, that it refers to Jews. The scholars among them realize that it refers to Amalekies, but Haman is from Amalek anyway.
On Purim, we are marbim b’simcha. It is in the piyut. They begin to dress up, like Haman. The minhag catches on. The talmidei chachomim of Germany accept it.
Soon the practice travels to Italy. Steinschneider cannot resist and attributes it to the Roman Carnival. But he errs. It is much likelier that it came from
ally would have initially caused us much grief. This, says the Apter Rebbe, stresses that the greatest joy lies in the knowledge that the opposite result might very well have happened. It is a minhag that brings us ever closer to the true dveikus b’Hashem and simcha that lies at the heart of what Purim is all about.
Let us, with this in mind, remember the words of the Nesivus Shalom regarding drinking on Purim. He writes that the word “wine” is absent in the formulation
The nation of Israel can achieve a remarkable degree of real genuine dveikus b’Hashem. We can do so like no other people can. When we dress up, therefore, let us appreciate the significance and the taamim brought down by the Apter Rav, the Bnei Yissaschar and the Siach Yitzchok. This Purim, let us discover the talent that lies within us in this area. If we can do this, we can achieve both a personal geulah as well as one for all of Klal Yisroel, amen.
This article should be viewed as a halachic discussion and not practical advice. The author can be reached at yairhoffman2@ gmail.com.
Israel Today Israel Was Right to Stick With Trump at the UN
By Jonathan S. Tobin
It was a confrontation Israel would have rather avoided. But when push came to shove at the U.N. General Assembly this week, the Jewish state knew what it had to do. Faced with a choice between taking sides with Ukraine, the European Union and most of the international community or standing with the Trump administration, Jerusalem didn’t hesitate to back Washington. For doing so, it’s not only getting bashed by some familiar critics but former friends as well.
The dilemma was caused by an E.U. resolution reaffirming the world body’s condemnation of Russia for its illegal invasion of Ukraine’s borders on the third anniversary of the war that started on Feb. 2022 ,24. The measure also demanded that Moscow withdraw “immediately” from territory it seized from the former Soviet republic in 2014 The United States, which has begun an effort to negotiate an end to the brutal conflict that has already taken 1 million lives on both sides, opposed the resolution. Rather than being (like most of what happens at the United Nations) a meaningless gesture of virtue-signaling,
the Trump administration correctly viewed the resolution as an effort to derail its diplomatic initiative. It preferred a simple call for an end to the war—rejected by Ukraine and its supporters—while not outrightly blaming Russia.
So, what could Israel do when the General Assembly voted?
It supported the U.S. position on both resolutions. It voted against the E.U. proposal in one instance, and again following Washington’s lead, abstained on the other since European amendments had transformed the American resolution’s meaning to undermine President Donald Trump’s policy on the war.
Anger at Israel
As a result, Israel and Netanyahu came under fire for siding with Trump, Hungary and Russia, in addition to its unsavory list of allies like Iran and North Korea. For “Never Trump” die-hards like former Republican bigwig turned Democratic Party cheerleader William Kristol, Israel’s action was a “disgrace” in which they were accused of siding with Russian President Vladimir Putin against “democracy and decency.”
Kristol was once an ardent supporter of Israel and regarded former President Barack Obama’s efforts to appease Iran as an “emergency.” But his rage at Trump’s takeover of the GOP was so great that by 2020, he was openly supporting a return to those same dangerous anti-Israel policies if it meant defeating him.
While it’s hard to take people like Kristol seriously anymore, he wasn’t alone in excoriating Israel on this point.
Some Americans have embraced the cause of Ukraine as the most important issue in the world, dwarfing all other concerns, including the Hamas-led terrorist attacks in southern Israel on Oct. 7, 2023, and the subsequent surge in antisemitism throughout the globe. For them, the choice on the war between Russia and Ukraine is a binary one between good and evil. For many, that extends to any discussion about Trump, Putin and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Standing with Trump against Zelenskyy’s demands for a continuation of former President Joe Biden’s policy backing the war for “as long as it takes” is now treated as a de facto endorsement of Putin by many in the corporate liberal media.
Isolating Israel
For those who demonize Trump along with Putin, lumping Israel in with them isn’t a stretch. The American political left has turned on the Jewish state, falsely accusing it of being a “settler-colonial” and “apartheid” state that commits “genocide” against Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. The barbarous actions of Hamas and the Palestinians are termed justified “resistance,” rather than evidence of depravity and hate.
They already judge Israel by a distorted set of double standards they would never reapply to any other country or people. Even so, Netanyahu would have been happy to avoid being depicted as having discarded morality so as to retain a stance as Trump’s sidekick.
Despite Trump’s false claim that Ukraine started the war, there is no rational alternative to an effort to end a conflict that cannot be won by either side.
A negotiated settlement that won’t give either Kyiv or Moscow all that they want is the only way to stop the killing and the enormous drain of American resources to continue a costly stalemate.
But there’s also no denying that back-
ing Trump on this issue only heightens the growing isolation of the Jewish state. That is particularly true in Europe, where—outside of friendly outlier nations like Hungary—hostility for Israel is a function of the growing strength of a bizarre red-green alliance of leftists and Muslim immigrants. The European Union is horrified by Trump’s effort to end the war as well as by the administration’s willingness to note that, for all of its talk about democracy, free speech is on the wane on the continent.
Being caught in the middle between Russia and Ukraine is nothing new for Israel.
Since the war started, it has come under pressure to take an active part in Ukraine’s defense. Jerusalem denounced the invasion of Ukraine, took in refugees from the war and also provided considerable aid to Kyiv. But it refused to give it any of its precious Iron Dome air-defense batteries or completely break off relations with Moscow.
Ukrainian Hypocrisy
At the time, Russia’s military presence in Syria, as well as the safety of those Jews who remained in the country after most had left in the last 35 years, provided a rationale for Jerusalem’s caution. Zelenskyy also undermined his own case when, in a virtual address to the Knesset, he falsely claimed that Ukrainians stood with the Jews during the Holocaust when, in fact, they were among the most ardent and brutal collaborators with the Nazis. Any other world leader making such an egregious claim would have been denounced as a Holocaust denier. But so great was the regard for Zelenskyy that it was largely ignored.
The same was true when it comes to how Ukraine votes in the United Nations. As Israel’s ambassador to Ukraine said in 2023, Kyiv votes against Israel more than %90 of the time and has come down on the side of antisemitic discrimination at the world body more often than not. How then can Ukraine’s fans condemn Israel’s voting?
The collapse of Russia’s Syrian ally, coupled with Israel’s victory over Hezbollah and Iran, means that Israel no longer has to worry as much about Moscow’s military might next door.
Though Trump’s victory in the 2024 elections returned a strong ally to the White House, the new administration’s flexing of its diplomatic muscles in the last month provides another reason for Israel to keep Ukraine at arm’s length.
Trump’s various statements about Hamas and the war in Gaza have brought moral clarity to the issue as well as com-
forted Israel. But as his Mideast envoy Steve Witkoff travels to the region seeking to keep the ceasefire/hostage release deal alive, in addition to beginning efforts to expand the 2020 Abraham Accords, Netanyahu knows full well that Trump is in charge in the region, not Israel. Washington’s positions are close to those
that, it should be obvious that a pragmatic approach to the world and the need to maintain a balance of power—as opposed to one that claims to be defending some great moral principle—is likely to do more to do less harm and avoid needless conflict.
Regardless of whatever arguments Moscow may put forward, the Russians are
only think Russia is evil but have drunk the Kool-Aid about Ukraine being the avatar of the struggle for democracy, rather than just another corrupt and largely undemocratic former Soviet republic.
In his first term, Trump was encouraged to listen to the “grown-ups” who came out of the foreign-policy establishment rather than his own instincts. He eventually learned that was a mistake and achieved a great deal, especially in the Middle East, by ignoring those establishment voices. He may still be too impulsive to have earned blind trust when it comes to charting a new course for the United States abroad. But putting down his peace initiative as merely appeasing Putin or recycling the long-since-debunked Russia collusion hoax conspiracy theories is not a credible or reasonable response to his positions.
of Israel’s, though not on every issue. That’s especially true when it comes to Iran, where the president seems to prefer sanctions and negotiations to a military strike on its nuclear program. Indeed, given the stakes involved in gaining the release of the hostages and what may be an inevitable return to the war on Hamas so as to ensure it doesn’t re tain power in Gaza, Jerusalem has as much need to stick close to Trump as it ever has. Claims that he would betray Israel at the drop of a a steadfast ally of the Jewish state. Still, the idea that Israel should regard Ukraine’s interests as having a greater priority than its own life-and-death struggle is risible. In that light, voting with the United States to oppose meaningless U.N. resolutions meant to make it harder to negotiate peace in Ukraine seems like a small and entirely defensible alliance with Washington. That’s true even if it means also voting with Russia and its despicable allies.
Trump May Be
Right
Trump is often criticized for his trans actional approach to foreign policy rather than one that is based on or pretends to be rooted in moral issues and human-rights concerns. But after the failure of Obama and Biden’s policies to deter Russia or Iran, the need for a more sober approach to these concerns is warranted. It’s not just that Biden’s weakness encouraged aggression. Disasters in Afghanistan and Iraq should have cured Americans of any lingering belief in exporting democracy. After all
guilty of starting and pursuing an illegal and indefensible war against Ukraine. Yet a continuation of Biden’s support for the unattainable goal of Ukraine defeating Russia still sounds good to Western armchair strategists committed to obsolete Cold War strategies. It also appeals to those who not
Under the circumstances, allowing no “daylight” between the United States and Israel is not only a wise strategy for Jerusalem. It is one that puts it on the side of a far more effective policy to defend the interests of the West, as well as the Jewish state, than anything Trump’s critics might support.
Jonathan S. Tobin is editor-in-chief of JNS (Jewish News Syndicate).
To Raise a Laugh
What To Do At A Vort
Okay, so you made it to the vort of your friend or your neighbor or your neighbor’s friend, or whatever! In no small part thanks to last week’s article! Not to brag.
But now what? As we pointed out last week, most simcha-prep articles are written for the baalei simcha, and that’s a huge oversight, because I don’t know if the writers know this, but the vast majority of the people at any given vort are going to be guests. Unless it’s a really big family.
What Do I Say Once I’m There?
It depends who you are. Basic etiquette rules say that when the kallah’s friends see her, they have to shriek. Like they did not expect to see the kallah at her own vort.
If you’re a man, you have to do a special mazel-tov handshake, wherein you lean in and hug while you’re shaking hands. Unless the other person doesn’t know about it, in which case it’s a very awkward hug.
After that, you can make conversation:
Unacceptable Topics of Conversation
- An actual vort.
- “So who brought which present?”
- How you were at the chosson’s bris.
Acceptable topics of conversation
- Where the couple is going to live.
- Who will be making which sheva brachos.
- Trying to get in on a gift that someone else brought.
You can also talk to people about what an amazing shidduch this is, and how you had a feeling, but you weren’t going to say anything.
One fun topic of conversation is to explain to the baal simcha how you know the other side, and everyone will go, “Oh, that’s so cute!” Because cute is an adjective that describes this situation.
“Oh my goodness! His great aunt was my madricha!”
“That’s so cute!”
It’s not that cute. She works in a school, so she was probably a madricha for thousands of girls. It’s not like the two of you were stuck on a desert island together for seven years.
“Oh my goodness! We were stuck on a desert island together for seven years!”
“That’s so cute! I know him from prison!”
What if I’m Antisocial?
If you’re antisocial, you should bring a sefer and sit in the corner. If you’re a woman and you’re antisocial, you can just not come. Husbands are a lot more willing to just say, “My wife wanted to be here, but she’s not feeling well,” than wives are.
And you definitely have no interest in finding the one person you know and then glomming onto them the entire evening. But it’s guaranteed that you’re going to run into people that you know that you had no idea that the chosson and kallah even knew. Then you have a built-in topic of conversation. (“How do you know him?” “How do YOU know him?” “I asked you first.”) This conversation will keep you engaged for, at the very least, like two minutes. You can even stretch the conversation if you want.
“He’s my sister-in-law’s brother in law.”
“Which sister-in-law? Your brother’s wife, or your wife’s sister?”
“My wife’s brother’s wife, actually.”
“Fascinating. And what kind of brother-in-law is he to her?”
Should I Eat Before I Go, or Should I See What They Have and Maybe Eat When I Get Home?
Eating at vorts can be fun, in that you never know what kind of food to expect. Like if there’s hot food, you’re pleasantly surprised. You never go to a chasunah and are like, “Hey, there’s hot food here! I am pleasantly surprised!”
A vort is basically like, “What if we just did the buffet part of the chasunah, and then everyone got to go home?” Which is the best kind of chasunah. Not for the chosson and kallah, but for everyone else.
Wait, I Have to Dance Too?
At some point, somebody’s going to break into song and start dancing, and you can join in,
By Mordechai Schmutter
especially if you don’t want to schmooze with people. Because unlike a chasunah dance, instead of it going on forever and you constantly having to claw your way back into the circle, you just have to dance in one circle for a few minutes and wonder if all that stomping is going to make the living room fall into the basement. Nobody builds a living room and says, “I want it to be possible for 30 men to do that dance where they keep stomping their foot in the middle of a neat circle.”
Once the dancing ends, you want to try to leave before someone starts it up again.
Okay, I’m Leaving. Where’s My Wife?
Before you leave, you want to say, “Mazel tov,” again, even though you said, “Mazel tov,” coming in. In case they forgot.
Your coat will be in the back room in a pile. Assuming everyone leaves in the same basic order in which they showed up, every single person’s coat will be at the bottom of this pile.
In Summary
Basically, a vort is pretty much uncharted territory, because there are no vorts in Tanach, as far as I know. The Gemara does talk about something called eirusin, but that was a very different thing. It seems like that was more of a private affair, where the guy was always trying to get away with something. If you read Maseches Kiddushin, it looks like men back then went out of their way to save money on this step. The whole first perek of Kiddushin is like, “What if I give her something worth less than a perutah?” “What if I just propose to her with a loan?” And then the guests get to go to the eirusin party and have to hear the story of how he proposed.
“So how did he propose?”
“Well, I owed him money, and he said, “How about instead of paying me back, you just keep the money, and then we’ll be married!” And I was like, “Aww…”
“Wow, that’s so cute! Let me see the ring!”
“It’s actually a rubber band.”.
Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.
Women on a Mission
A Gathering of Thousands of Shluchos from Around the World
By ShoShAnA hA lpern
Rabbi Mendel Kotlarsky
Ambassador Tzipi Hotovely speaking
Elisheva Martinelli sharing her story
Rebbetzin Kotlarsky encouraging the attendees
his Friday, as the sun makes its descent into the horizon, a woman in Rwanda will be ushering in Shabbos as she waves her hands in front of her candles. Later that night, she and her husband and a few Jewish guests will be making kiddush, eating challah, and gathering sparks of holiness at their Shabbos table from deep within a country mired by strife and turmoil.
Although Rebbetzin Nechama Dina Bar Sela may be physically far from other Jews lighting Shabbos candles, she is far from alone in her mission.
As a shlucha of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, zt”l, Rebbetzin Bar Sela and her husband are one of thousands of shluchim who are spread out throughout the world connecting with other Jewish souls in places that are thirsty for sparks of holiness.
There are more than 6,150 Chabad shluchim families worldwide. Some of them live in vibrant Jewish communities, such as Rabbi Zalman and Chanie Wolowik and Rabbi Meir and Hadassah Geisinsky of Chabad of the Five Towns and Rabbi Mendel and Goldie Gordon of Chabad of Hewlett Neck Old Woodmere, who are involved with outreach work to hundreds of families who directly benefit from programs such as Chabad’s Hebrew school and C-Teen. Other shluchim families, like Nechama Dina’s, are the lone Jewish souls living in a city far from frum metropolises.
But this past weekend, thousands of heroic shluchos gathered together in New York for a weekend of inspiration, chizuk, and support at the annual Kinus Hashluchos. These women came from near and far – from New York and Israel, Argentina and Alaska, Singapore and Serbia, Ukraine and the UAE. Although they may not have spoken the same language, their message and mission are one and the same: to reach out to other Jews with warmth and love and to bring them closer to Yiddishkeit.
As Rebbetzin Wolowik explains, the Rebbe’s message was clear: Judaism is foremost about love of G-d, love of Torah, and love of every Jew.
“A Jew is obligated to excel in all three parts of these pillars,” Rebbetzin Wolowik shares. “You can’t say I love learning Torah, but I don’t love my fellow Jew. We are all connected. Just as I love my child, I love your child, too.”
That, she maintains, is the foundation of shlichus. The shluchim and shluchos of Chabad give their heart and soul to their fellow Jews. They are the ones whom we connect with when we’re hungry for a hot, kosher meal in a foreign land. They are the ones we reach out to when our visa is held up while on vacation in Japan. They are the ones people go to when their parents are ailing or their children are hurting. They are the ones set up for limud Torah in each location, helping travelers seamlessly stay connected with their learning. They stay up late at night and wake up early in the morning – thinking, always thinking, about how they can reach and connect with every Jew.
I was pr IvIleged to join the Chabad heroines on Sunday night at the Banquet of the Kinus Hashluchos in Edison, NJ. One young shlucha, Chani*, her four-monthold baby on her hip, told me enthusiastically how she and her husband were opening a Chabad House in a suburb in England. Her eyes were wide with excitement as she explained that she hopes to open it before Purim (less than three weeks away!) so she can search for Jewish souls and invite them to a Purim seudah. If not, she said, they will be there for Pesach, opening their home to those who need a Pesach seder.
She recounted a story that occurred just two days before the Banquet. Chani’s parents are Chabad shluchim in another suburb in England. On Friday, her mother wasn’t home, but she had her older daughters prepare meals for two families in the neighborhood whom she knew would appreciate homecooked food. Chani’s father delivered the meals before Shabbos, but one family didn’t open their door. Concerned that the food would spoil, he delivered it to another family. Their daughter, in Goth makeup and clothing, took the food after the shaliach knocked on the door.
A few minutes before Shabbos, there was a knock on the door of the Chabad House. It was this girl, in her darkrimmed makeup and black clothing, and she was crying so hard she couldn’t speak. Chani’s father asked if she would be able to write down what she was feeling, and he handed her a paper and pen so they could communicate.
This girl was going through a mental health crisis and reached out to the one place she knew she would be heard. That gift of food was a reminder of the love that her neighborhood Chabad shluchim have for her. Chani’s father was able to get her to a hospital before Shabbos so she could start the healing process.
walk Ing I nto the Banquet on Sunday evening was awe-inspiring. Thousands of women converged on the conference center, each of them dressed beautifully for this annual fahrbregen that applauds and lauds their constant efforts. It wasn’t just shluchos who were invited to the event. Some shluchos brought guests from home to the event, eager to showcase the sisterhood that Chabad is so famous for. Others came on their own to be inspired by the thousands of shluchos joining together, an uplifting and holy display.
Rebbetzin Wolowik, along with Rebbetzin Sarah Alevsky of Cleveland, Ohio; Rebbetzin Chaya Posner of Rancho Mirage, California; and Rebbetzin Shevy Vigler of Manhattan, NY, were the organizers of Sunday night’s banquet. As so many of the other people involved in the program were from different parts of the world, their Zoom meetings were often arranged, interestingly enough, by time zone: 8 AM Australia (Monday); 6 AM South Korea* (Monday); 6 PM Brazil; 2 PM Arizona; 1 PM California; 4 PM New York; 11 PM Israel; 9 PM London/ Portugal. These women may be separated by land, language and even time, but their mission and message is unified and uniform.
Under the direction of the Banquet’s organizers, the conference center was transformed into an elegant auditorium, a sumptuous banquet befitting the wonderful women who dedicate their lives to Klal Yisroel. The energy in the hall was electric and upbeat, thousands of women each a queen in her own right, singing, clapping, and joining together as one, responding to a clarion call that they share with their Chabad sisters.
Being on shlichus requires tremendous mesiras nefesh. Many couples who go out on shlichus move far away from family and friends. That means that they miss out on family simchos and other milestones. Their children don’t always have other frum children to play with on a constant basis. Their homes are open to visitors all day, every day. As their children get older, they send them away from home for chinuch purposes, to learn in schools in more connected, frum communities. Many times, these women also run the community’s schools, after-school programs, and teen activity centers. All this, while making challah for myriad guests on Shabbos and hosting Pesach sedarim for hundreds of people – oh, and also juggling their own family and home responsibilities.
Their lives are ones of selflessness.
At the Banquet, four women on shlichus were fea-
Rebbetzin Wolowik with other Five Towns representatives
Rebbetzin Wolowik with her mother, Rebbetzin Kotlarsky
The Banquet organizers with Ambassador Hotovely and Rebbetzin Kotlarsky
tured, each of them living on the “four corners of the Earth,” answering the Rebbe’s call of “u’faratzcha yama v’kedma tzafona v’negba, you shall spread out toward the west, east, north, and south.” Each of them made the commitment to connect with Jewish souls wherever they may be found. Their journeys take them far from established frum communities, setting up Chabad Houses in some of the most remote civilizations on Earth.
Rebbetzin Fraidy Klein recounted that when she and her husband were given the shlichus to Bariloche, Argentina, they thought they would be there for three months. After all, there aren’t any Jews living there, although Jewish visitors come to the city as they explore South America.
There was no internet when Fraidy and her husband first came; at the beginning, there was no meat. “We had to milk cows in order to have Cholov Yisrael milk,” she recounts. But after living there for a short while, the two of them realized that they would never leave.
Before their first Pesach seder, as they were making a list of guests who would be attending, Fraidy noticed that her guest list was becoming longer and longer. “One hundred, two hundred…seven hundred, eight hundred, one thousand.” She looked at her husband and joked, “Wow, let’s get out of here.”
Fraidy notes that, as shluchim, “You’re the father and mother for people at the end of the world…and you also have to take care of yourself.”
Being on shlichus requires tremendous mesiras nefesh, both emotionally and physically. Still, these heroic women wouldn’t give up their roles for anything in the world.
“I remember sitting in my room, crying, saying, ‘Hashem, no matter how many challenges You send to me, I am never leaving the shlichus. I am staying here until Moshiach comes.’”
She gets extra koach seeing her children being involved in the Chabad House. Her eleven-year-old daughter gives classes, and her 5-year-old son says divrei Torah on Shabbos.
For Rebbetzin Ida Kolpak, the shlucha in Birobidzhan, Russia, her chiyus comes from seeing so many Jews coming to shul, connecting to the warmth of Yiddishkeit. These Jews know Yiddish (it’s the official language there) and remember eating kosher, traditional foods, but they come to the Chabad House to connect with their Jewish roots.
“Seeing that they know that this is their home gives us koach to continue,” she says.
Living in Fairbanks, Alaska, where the sun only rises in the winter at 11 o’clock, has its own unique challenges, Rebbetzin Chani Wolf shares. She said she and her husband came to the frozen land when it was negative forty degrees outside. “You can barely breathe; you start to cough.”
At first, the young couple questioned if they would be able to live this type of life. Could they bring up their children there, with no Jewish education, no kosher food? But soon, they saw the vibrancy and the warmth that they were able to elicit from the frozen Jewish souls who live there. So many people in Fairbanks are lost, spiritually, emotionally, but Rebbetzin Chani and her husband are able to nurture those thirsty souls.
“You’re the father and mother for people at the end of the world…and you also have to take care of yourself.”
Rebbetzin Odeya White lives in Perth, Australia. The community there has a special innocence, she says. “They don’t even know the shape of the letter Aleph.” Still, they have a desire and a thirst to connect to G-d.
For Rebbetzin White, living away from family and sending her children away for school is hard. “It breaks my heart each time,” she shares.
But, she maintains, she has such admiration for the community in Perth.
“The small changes lead to big changes,” Rebbetzin White asserts. “It’s davka the one-on-one connection we have with them.” That is what brings people closer to Yiddishkeit.
These four women were highlighted on Sunday night, but truthfully, their stories mirror so many accounts of other shluchos around the world. There is so much mesiras nefesh and so many challenges that
may arise when it comes to shlichus, but these women are buoyed by the sense of mission and their love of Klal Yisroel that carries them through every day, every month, every year.
In a v I deo message , Rabbi Yehuda Krinsky spoke to the women at the Banquet, recalling the first Kinus Hashluchos in 1991 and recounting how the Rebbe was “extremely pleased” with the Kinus and gave a sichah that year on Sunday to the shluchos and handed out two dollars to each of them.
At the Banquet on Sunday night, the audience felt the keen absence of Rabbi Moshe Yehuda Kotlarsky, z”l, who passed away this past year. For fifty-five years, Rabbi Kotlarsky was the guiding hand, the father figure, the shoulder to cry on for every man and woman on shlichus. He knew every child’s name, every simcha of each family on shlichus around the globe. He carried their burdens and exulted in their happiness. He shared their milestones and their challenges with them.
His impact is still felt in every Chabad House around the world.
Rebbetzin Wolowik, Rabbi Kotlarsky’s daughter, recalled on Sunday that, one year, a Chabad shaliach sent Rabbi Kotlarsky a photo of Chanukah lighting at the Chabad House. A few minutes after the photo was sent, Rabbi Kotlarsky was on the phone, calling the shaliach
“I noticed your wife isn’t in the photo,” Rabbi Kotlarsky inquired. “Is she OK?”
The woman was not OK; she was in the hospital. But only Rabbi Kotlarsky would notice that she was missing from the photo and call the young shaliach to see how his wife was doing and how he could help.
Rabbi Kotlarsky would speak at every Kinus Hashluchim and Kinus Hashluchos, galvanizing and encouraging, praising and uplifting, reminding them of their sacred mission. This year, the thousands who gathered weren’t zocheh to hear from Rabbi Kotlarsky in person one more time.
Rabbi Kotlarsky’s son, Rabbi Mendy Kotlarsky, ybl”ch, is the executive director of the International Conference of Shluchim and Shluchos, helping to perpetuate the mission with which the Rebbe entrusted his father. Rabbi Mendy Kotlarsky had been working alongside his father for the past 20 years, helping to expand and support the Chabad network worldwide. He spoke to the thousands of women gathered at the event on
Rebbetzin Wolowik with her mother, sisters, sisters-in-law and nieces at the Banquet
Singers at the Banquet
Sunday, encouraging them and sharing with them the expansion of Chabad programs throughout the world.
Rebbetzin Rivka Kotlarsky, ybl”ch, who had been Rabbi Moshe Kotlarsky’s eizer k’negdo for more than five decades, also addressed the women on Sunday night. She recounted how, after a year of marriage and kollel, Rabbi Hadakov, the Rebbe’s chief secretary, offered the Kotlarskys three options for shlichus : the State of Texas; Washington, D.C.; or to work in Mercaz, Chabad headquarters. Rabbi Kotlarsky answered that he would do whatever the Rebbe chooses.
The Rebbe told the young couple that his father-inlaw, the previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, lived in Crown Heights and “from here, he spread Torah and chassidus to the whole world. You should stay here,” the Rebbe said, “and from here, you will spread Torah through the whole world.”
The Rebbe then turned to Rivka Kotlarsky and said to her, “And you should see to it that he does it with simcha, with joy.”
Rebbetzin Kotlarsky praised the shluchos from near and far. She spoke about the hospitality exhibited by the women who live in Crown Heights, and she commended the women who live around the globe, who, with mesiras nefesh , fulfill the Rebbe’s vision, often forgoing the conveniences of kosher food, Jewish schools, and closeness to family while never compromising on the standards of Torah and mitzvos. With a glass raised high, she joined with the thousands of women in the room in a l’chaim to those heroines who dedicate their lives to Klal Yisroel.
Amb. Tzipi Hotovely, Israel’s Ambassador to the United Kingdom, was one of the featured speakers on Sunday. She began her speech by joking that this was the only time in her life that she was surrounded by so many other ambassadors.
Hotovely recalled her connections with Chabad Lubavitch, recounting her stint as Israel’s deputy foreign minister, which required her to visit countries around the world. Throughout her travels, Hotovely found a warm home and an open heart with Chabad.
As she ended her speech, Hotovely spoke about the
Calling “roll call” at the end of the
Rabbi Abergel, the Chabad shaliach there, and told him that she was Jewish. After meeting with her, Rabbi Abergel wisely told her that in Judaism “we take things slow” and advised Elisheva to learn more about the faith.
hostages who are still being held in Gaza in Hamas’ cruel hands.
At one point during the Banquet, nine mothers of young men who are still being held captive ascended the stage to the haunting tune of “Ani Maamin.” Thousands of women crowded in front of the stage, conveying their sorrow and their supplications that these young men would be released from captivity soon.
Throughout the event, these heartbroken mothers felt the palpable love and connection from the women gathered in the room from around the world. May it be the will of G-d that these prayers offered from woman to woman, from mother to mother, bring about their children’s redemption.
grow I ng up In Jixi, China, Elisheva Martinetti was not Jewish. But at one point, her mother found a book of Torah stories and began to study them. She felt that the Torah was the right way to live life, and she read these stories to young Elisheva, who began to have an interest in Judaism. But Elisheva’s mother did not have a teacher to guide her. In her innocence, she believed that she was Jewish because she studied the Torah, and she told Elisheva that Elisheva was Jewish, too.
At one point, they both realized that if Elisheva wanted to know more about Judaism, she would have to leave Jixi, China, and find authentic Judaism. Her mother sold her home to pay for Elisheva’s trip abroad, and they both decided to send Elisheva to Singapore.
Elisheva was 15 years old at the time. She understood that she may never see her mother again, and she was frightened. But her mother reassured her that Avraham Avinu, when he set out on his journey, did not miss his parents.
“Yes,” Elisheva countered, “but Avraham was 76 years old at the time, and I am only 15.”
“Don’t worry,” her mother said. “You will be like Nachshon. We have a special connection with our Creator.”
And so, Elisheva set out to Singapore, hoping to learn more about her faith.
When she got to Singapore, she was introduced to
Elisheva was an eager learner. She would visit the Chabad House every day, learning more and more.
“Every time I would learn something new, I would get so excited, because I would feel like I was getting one more step closer to Hashem,” she recalled.
Elisheva taught herself Hebrew, a monumental step, she remembers.
Eventually, Rabbi Abergel suggested that Elisheva go to the beis din in Sydney, Australia, and it was there that she became a full-fledged Jew and received a new name, Rus Elisheva. Her journey was complete.
But really, it was just beginning. At the Banquet, Elisheva spoke about her connection to different Chabad communities around the globe (Tzfas, Melbourne, London) and the day she got married. That was the first time she saw her mother since parting from her at the age of 15. After eleven years, her mother basked in the joy of seeing her daughter fulfilling her life dream.
Now, Elisheva and her husband are on shlichus in Italy, helping Jewish souls to reconnect with their heritage.
When Elisheva spoke to the crowd on Sunday night, her emotional journey affected the thousands of women gathered, who applauded and stood up for this brave woman. Her story highlights the power of each Chabad House, the effect that each shaliach and shlucha can have on so many individuals.
For the past F ew decades, the Kinus Hashluchos is not complete without a “roll call,” a resounding proclamation and ovation to the Chabad Houses around the world. As each country around the world is named, the number of Chabad Houses found in that country is announced. Some countries you may never have heard of (Andorra? Where’s that?), and then there are countries where scores of Chabad Houses are found.
But after the roll call, as the music and dancing begins, it’s apparent that wherever these shluchos are found, whether it’s in New York, Paris, or Rwanda, their mission and method are the same: to bring every Jew closer to Yiddishkeit with love, acceptance, warmth, and profound selflessness for the future of the Jewish nation.
Rebbetzin Kotlarsky with her sisters and nieces, who are shluchos in Sao Paulo, Cleveland, Kansas City, Johannesburg, Argentina, Jordan Valley, Solon, Akron, Kent University, Shanghai, Andorra, London, Pittsburgh, New Haven, Panama, Paris, Wisconsin, Bal Harbor, Milan, University of Florida, Manchester, Marietta, Mississauga, Chicago, Oceanside, Glenview, Virginia, Philadelphia, Cape Town, Kaui, Uruguay, Malta, and Cracow
Banquet
Some of the mothers of hostages on stage
A Listening Ear Tech Triumphs
As told to Rebbetzin Sara Gross
Touch screens can be tricky sometimes. While I’m on the phone, my ear bumps into things and presses all kinds of buttons on the screen. I often find my flashlight turning on, or worse, my call disconnecting accidentally.
The other day, I discovered something shocking. I was checking the weather on my phone and accidentally opened the recording app. To my surprise, I found a list of recordings I didn’t even know existed. Curious, I tapped on one of them, and my stomach dropped like a stone as I realized what it was. My ear had unknowingly pressed “record” during a phone conversation. I could hear myself speaking in a serious discussion, and the thought made me feel sick.
With growing trepidation, I checked more recordings. One after another, they were all private con-
versations. The Mishnah in Avos about all our words being heard raced through my mind. Of course, I’ve always known that my words are important and heard by the One Above, but realizing they had been physically recorded on my phone made the lesson hit home in a powerful way.
Now, I make a conscious effort to think even more carefully before I speak on my phone, imagining that my conversations are being recorded. Hopefully, this awareness will stay with me, helping me watch my words with greater care.
DID YOU KNOW:
Your device wasn’t designed with your best interests in mind— it was crafted using persuasive design, a strategy that leverages psychology to keep you engaged.
Tech companies hire psychologists and behavioral scientists to maximize your screen time. They flood you with notifications—updates, messages, comments—knowing you’ll feel compelled to check. They serve up content tailored to your interests, appealing to your curiosity and impulses. It’s a system designed to keep you hooked.
TAG provides tools—filters, distraction deterrents, and more—
that empower you to take control of your tech instead of letting it control you. You decide how to engage with technology, instead of the technology deciding for you. You set the terms— what content you see, when to check your phone, and when to step away.
Without the right tools, you’re at the mercy of those who designed your device. Schedule your consultation today, and put yourself back in the driver’s seat.
TJH Centerfold
10 Signs You’re Definitely a Comedian (Or Just Really Weird)
DYou treat every conversation like an open mic. “Hi, how are you?” — “Well, emotionally unstable, but thanks for asking!”
DYou bombed a joke once… and told it three more times to “get it right.” “No, no, wait, lemme try that again… this time it’ll land.”
D
You are really quick with current event puns. “That egg shortage has me feelin’ not so eggcellent!”
D
When the waiter comes over to your table, you try your bit about breadsticks. And your wife rolls her eyes and promises herself that she will never go out to eat with you again.
D
DYou make jokes at funerals…and somehow, they land. “He’s in a better place now— probably somewhere with better Wi-Fi.”
D
When you come home from shul, you report to your wife how many laughs you got. (Newsflash: The dude just laughed so he doesn’t have to suffer through another six of your lame jokes.)
You start every serious conversation with, “Okay, but this is actually true…” because no one ever believes you when you say, “I once got kicked out of a zoo for impersonating a penguin.”
D
You’ve been told, “You’re so funny!” and immediately reply, “Yeah, my therapist says the same thing,” followed by awkward silence.
D
You’ve said, “But seriously…” right after the dumbest joke ever. “If we’re 60% water, does that make me a walking spill? But seriously…”
D
You laughed while reading this list…and thought, “I could’ve written it better.” Oh, yeah? Try it.
You’re probably the guy who will send in something for Purim and when we don’t print it because it is totally lame, you will threaten to sue us and never pick up TJH again and you will harass us with emails and phone calls and insist on speaking to management. Wow, now that I got that off of my chest… hmm, I guess funny people do really have anger issues somewhere deep inside.
Life as a Comedian
“Comedians don’t have holidays. Every dinner, every family event… that’s just another gig.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“Comedians don’t get old; they just lose their timing.” - Joan Rivers
“A comedian’s job is to say what everyone’s thinking but is too afraid to say. And sometimes, we find out why they were afraid to say it.” - Louis C.K.
“Comedy is just a funny way of being serious.”
- George Carlin
“I do stand-up comedy, which means I work nights and get paid in chicken wings.” - Jim Gaffigan
“I told my therapist I wanted to be a comedian. He said, ‘Not with that face.’” - Rodney Dangerfield
“I love stand-up comedy because you can make people laugh and judge you at the same time. It’s like therapy, but with a two-drink minimum.” - Demetri Martin
“Being a comedian means saying the wrong thing at the wrong time…professionally.”
- Bill Burr
“Stand-up comedy is the only job where you work for years to make something seem like it just came off the top of your head.” - Louis C.K.
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” - Mel Brooks
“A comedian’s job isn’t to make you laugh. It’s to make you laugh and then think, ‘Wait, was that offensive?’”
- Steve Martin
Can You Deliver thePunchline
You were born to be a comedian, but somehow, you spend ten hours a day crunching numbers in a non-descript building in Manhattan. Well, for once, live your dream—ditch work, throw away your pocket protector, kick back and see if you still have those humor chops.
Yup, we are running a contest. Submit your funny Purim essay to TJH. It can be a funny “news story,” observation about a trend in town, or anything else that will get people to LAUGH. Still know what that word means? If we print your essay, we will give you a $50 gift certificate to any restaurant in the Five Towns. (See page 14 for full details and rules.) Now, to get you started… Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken? What chicken?! And don’t get me started on the egg prices crisis.
Notable Quotes “Say What?!”
The amount of explosives in all the thousands of devices combined did not exceed the amount of explosives found in one standard mine. But the impact on morale was powerful.
- Mossad head David Barnea speaking at a security conference about the exploding pagers operation targeting Hezbollah terrorists in September
In terms of Democrats, I’ve got a lot of friends who are Democrats, and they haven’t asked me for advice. But if they did, I’d tell them, look, you’ve just got to try harder not to [stink].
- Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA)
I mean, think about it. Over the past four years, the Democrats mismanaged Congress, they mismanaged COVID, they mismanaged the economy, they mismanaged inflation, they mismanaged the national debt, they mismanaged Afghanistan.
- ibid.
They’re triggered by race; they cry if you use the wrong pronoun. And most of the time, Americans look at this and they go, these people are about ten times past normal. And that’s what’s killing the Democrats right now, in my opinion.
- ibid.
The heinous display of Hamas terrorists parading the coffins of murdered Israeli babies and lying about the remains of their mother to the cheers of a barbaric, animalistic pro-Hamas mob is an affront to all of humanity.
- Ambassador Designate to the United Nations Elise Stefanik at the CPAC Convention
It has never been more important to show our unequivocal support for our most precious ally, and it is clear that under President Trump’s leadership, America stands steadfast in support of Israel and the Jewish people.
- ibid.
People in Israel gotta understand something: The number one enemy to the people in Israel are American Jews that do not support Israel and do not support MAGA.… The biggest single threat to the Jewish people…are progressive Jewish billionaires…. We will always have the back of Israel, but I have to tell you, you have an enemy inside the wire.
– Conservative firebrand Steve Bannon at CPAC talking to an Israeli journalist
People say I’m a bought asset of Putin. I’m like, he can’t afford me.
- Elon Musk at the CPAC convention
If you look at the food that’s on your table, think about who picked it. If you look at your homes, think about who built them. If you look at your vulnerable elders and your kids, think about who’s taking care of them.
- Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA) at the Congressional Progressive Caucus’ Tax the Greedy Billionaires Press Conference
Rep. Pramila Jayapal just sang praises for illegal immigration – gushing over cheap labor and glorifying indentured servitude.
- Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC) tweeting in response
I’m not going to say that there’s a lot [of waste in federal spending]. I’m going to say that it exists. I don’t think that there’s a lot.
- Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX)
I am at the point where it has become really hard to have an intellectual debate with any of these people because the level of stupidity that they are displaying every single day is frankly, embarrassing, not just in Congress, but as Americans.
- Ilhan Omar, who is a Democrat member of Congress from Minnesota, talking about Republicans
And the fact that these people are allowed to say just the most ridiculous things tells you that the dumbing of the United States has arrived, because how else do we get a Trump presidency again.
- ibid.
What are you insanely curious about? Tell me a story about when you were really, really sure about something and found out you were completely wrong.
- Indeed CEO Chris Hyams telling MSN what he asks in interviews
I’m actually more interested if it’s not a work-related thing. If you can spend 45 minutes talking about baking sourdough, and the 57 different recipes that you’ve tried, the experimentation with temperature and hydration…. When people have that intense curiosity ... it’s just a question of, what else can you fall in love with.
- ibid.
Dating Dialogue What Would You Do If…
Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
Thank you for your thought-provoking column!
My sisters and I are at odds with our parents over the (lack of) shidduch prospects of our second-to-oldest 25-year-old brother. He’s an awesome guy and an amazing catch, but he’s getting older and our parents won’t let him start to date until our oldest brother gets engaged. Our oldest brother is a nice guy but significantly a more difficult guy to set up, for reasons we can’t mention here.
How can we convince our parents to remove their hold on him from dating?
- The Berg Sisters*
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
The Panel
Dear Readers,
We want to offer YOU an opportunity to be part of the discussion! Please email us at MichelleMondShadchan@gmail.com, subject line “reader’s response,” if you would like to participate in the new “A Reader’s Response” columnist spot. We will send you a question and publish your answer in an upcoming Navidaters edition.
If you have a question you would like the Navidaters to answer, please reach out to this email as well.
Looking forward!
Michelle, the “Shadchan”
The Rebbetzin
Rebbetzin Lisa Babich
Thank you for your question. In some families, it is very hard for parents to allow the younger sibling to date while the older one is not married yet. It usually comes from an understandably emotional place of distress and pain. In this case, it sounds like your parents are really struggling with the scenario they find themselves in: an older, possibly more “difficult” brother who is still single. I would suggest that you find a Rabbi or mentor that your parents highly respect. They need to hear from someone who they view as wise and who can help guide them in a gentle and delicate manner. They may view you and your sister as not fully understanding the matter as they don’t view you as daas Torah . If you let a wise mentor speak to them, that may help and open their eyes.
Much hatzlacha.
The Shadchan
Michelle Mond
Thank you for writing in with such an important question. While I am usually not a fan of others mixing in when it comes to a sibling’s shidduchim, I feel that in this case you are correct. While there may have been a minhag
in some circles to wait for an older sibling in the past, things have drastically changed with the way shidduchim work today. It is best if your 25-yearold brother starts looking when he is ready. Figuring out a way to convince your parents that this is the way to go will be the difficult part. Assuming your brother wants to start dating, I would highly suggest that he speak to your parents about his feelings. This should not come from the sisters, rather from him personally, in order to make the biggest impact.
Your brother is an adult and has every right to make this very serious, life-changing decision for himself. If your brother’s voice falls on deaf ears, he should speak to his rebbi and your parents’ rav about it. You and your sisters can back him up on this topic and show your support.
Although your brother can do whatever he wants (i.e., start dating without getting the green light officially), it will be the most comfortable for everyone if your parents are on board. Someone who is truly aware of the complexities of the shidduch world will be able to explain to your parents the importance of not holding shidduchim up for a child. I hope your brother is able to get this message across!
It is important to note that all of this should be done in private and not in the presence of the older brother. It is incredibly hard for an older sibling when a younger one starts dating (as talked about in last week’s question). This issue has to be handled with privacy and tact to minimize any hurt and frustration this might cause your older brother.
The Zaidy
Dr. Jeffrey Galler
There is a lot of missing information here. Why have your parents imposed that policy? How does your younger brother feel about this restriction? How does your older brother feel about it?
And why are you and your sisters fighting this battle? Shouldn’t the 25-year-old brother be the proactive one here?
Nevertheless, as long as both of your brothers don’t care who marries first, here are some arguments you can use on your parents:
First , the outdated notion that “older sibling must get married first” is definitely not a halacha or regulation in our religion. It was, years ago, merely
a custom, in some sectors of Judaism. Recently, Rabbi Yitzchak Greenblatt paraphrased what Rabbi Moshe Feinstein had written years ago (Iggrot
Moshe, Even Ha’ezer II:1): “There is no prohibition at all for a younger child to marry before an older one. The idea that a man should have to delay marrying and having children simply because his older brother has not yet found a bride is, if you’ll pardon the pun, inconceivable.”
Second, this archaic “custom” applied to daughters, not sons, and, apparently, had a financial basis. Parents had to work hard and save sufficient funds to marry off a daughter. An older daughter would resent seeing those funds, ostensibly designated for her own marriage, being redirected to the younger sister.
You can argue that such financial considerations are not applicable here.
Third, the earliest Biblical references to “older sister first” are the actions of Lot’s incestuous daughters (Bereishis: 19), and, generations later, the actions of the manipulative Lavan who tricked our patriarch, Jacob, into mar-
rying the older Leah before the younger Rachel (Bereishis: 29) .
You can point out the obvious. Neither Lot’s daughters nor Lavan can remotely be considered to be moral, noble characters whose actions are worthy of emulation. Note that Jacob was perfectly fine with marrying the younger sister, Rachel. Explain, “Shouldn’t our policy mirror that of Jacob and not that of the idol-worshipping Lavan?”
Fourth , in today’s society, out-ofsequence marriages are perfectly acceptable. Some perfectly fine people seem to marry at a relatively young age, while other perfectly fine people marry at a later age. The “shame” of marrying later is no longer such a realistic concern.
Perhaps your parents worry that the younger brother marrying first will underscore that there is “something wrong” with the older brother. You
Pulling It All Together
The Navidaters
Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists
Ihear how much you and your sisters care about your brother, and I completely get why this situation is frustrating. It sounds like your parents are holding onto a traditional approach –wanting the older sibling to go first – but the reality is, life doesn’t always work in perfect order. Your second-to-oldest brother is ready, and it makes sense that you’d want to advocate for him.
will need to do some homework here. Provide examples of families where younger siblings married before older ones without any negative implications. In any event , unless your 25-yearold brother has asked you to advocate on his behalf, it might be best to simply lay low for now.
A Reader’s Response
Mr. Barak Sonnenthal
You and your sisters are correct. Your younger brother should start dating already as there’s no telling when your older brother will get married. You’ve already stated your older brother is significantly more difficult to set up for unspecified reasons. There’s no telling when these reasons might resolve themselves, and the longer your brother waits, the smaller his dating pool will be. It’s unfair for him to miss out on that opportunity, and it’s also unfair for the girls who
The reality is, life doesn’t always work in perfect order.
are currently looking for their match to be deprived of a very eligible candidate.
As far as your parents go, you don’t mention if you ever brought this up to them before, and I would suggest to speak to your family. Try acknowledging and validating their concerns and their fears but explaining to them the reasons why you think your brother should be dating. If all else fails, your brother is 25 years old; he can start dating himself. He doesn’t need your parents’ permission. If getting engaged before his older brother will cause a significant rift between him and your parents, then this is an entirely different question. The question then becomes how to deal with overly controlling parents.
One option is to have a calm, respectful conversation with your parents. Not in a way that challenges them outright, but more like: “We totally understand why you feel this way, and we re - spect that you want to do what’s best for everyone. At the same time, we’re worried about the impact this is having on our brother. He’s at the right stage to build a home and waiting indefinitely may not be fair to him. Maybe there’s a way to honor both brothers’ needs without holding one back?”
If they’re open to it, you could also
suggest speaking with a rav, mentor, or someone they trust to help navigate this. Sometimes hearing it from an outside voice makes all the difference. Now, let’s be real – if they won’t budge, your brother is an adult. He gets to decide how much he wants to let this hold him back. If he’s ready and willing, he can absolutely start dating quietly, without making a big deal about it. It’s a tough balance between respecting your parents and also recognizing that he has the right to move forward in his own life. If he chooses to take that step,
it might actually help everyone – including your older brother – by shifting the energy and pressure in a positive way.
At the end of the day, this is about what’s best for both of your brothers. You’re in a tricky spot, but your instincts to advocate for him are coming from a really good place. Wishing you all clarity, peace, and the best possible outcome!
Sincerely, Jennifer
Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.
Compassion And Consideration Living Kiddush Hashem
ABy Rabbi Shraga Freedman
t the Yeshivah of Philadelphia, a group of workers was once hired to finish an urgent job on a few days’ notice, in time for the new zman . Since the workers lived at a distance, and it was necessary for them to work long hours to complete their job on time, the administration offered to allow them to sleep in one of the yeshivah buildings. Mattresses were provided, but the workmen found their accommodations uncomfortable and were unable to fall asleep. Suddenly, at one o’clock in the morning, the Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Shmuel Kamenetzky shlita , entered the room. “Do you mind if I stay here with you?” he asked.
“You should go to sleep; there’s no reason for you to stay here with us,” the workmen’s supervisor protested.
But Rav Shmuel shook his head. “As I passed by, I saw that you were having difficulty sleeping,” he explained. “It makes me feel terrible that you are losing sleep because you are working for me. Knowing that, I feel that I can’t sleep, either.”
The Rosh Yeshivah remained with the workmen throughout the night, alternating between conversing with them and learning from his sefarim , until 7:00 in the morning. When the workmen later shared this story with others, they commented
that the Rosh Yeshivah had made them feel very important, and that they had sensed that he truly cared.
While the Torah enjoins us to avoid being influenced by the other nations, we must not let this impair the compassion and consideration for others that we must cultivate within ourselves. Our gedolim have taught us, through countless examples, the vast importance of showing respect and concern for each and every human being.
Rabbi Shraga Freedman is the author of Sefer Mekadshei Shemecha, Living Kiddush Hashem, and A Life Worth Living.
Email LivingKiddushHashem@ gmail.com for a free sefer. Visit LivingKiddushHashem.org for more resources
Living Kiddush Hashem was founded with the goal of imbuing every Jew with a powerful sense of mission — the mission to be mekadeish Sheim Shamayim in his or her own unique way. We strive to accomplish this by raising awareness of the paramount importance of the mitzvah of Kiddush Hashem and its centrality in everything we do.
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Health & F tness
Oil You Need to Know The Slick Truth About Cooking Oils
By Aliza Beer MS, RD, CDN
Cooking oils play a crucial role in our diet, not just for adding flavor and texture but also for their impact on health. Oil, in general, is known for being high in calories and typically has approximately 120 calories per tablespoon. This is something to keep in mind and keep on moderation.
Not all oils are created equally, as some offer essential nutrients and heart-healthy fats, while others can contribute to inflammation and disease when consumed in excess. Understanding the different types of oils and their best uses can help you make informed choices in the kitchen.
Healthy Oils and Their Benefits
Olive oil is widely recognized as one of the healthiest oils, particularly extra virgin olive oil (EVOO), which is rich in antioxidants like polyphenols. These antioxidants offer anti-inflammatory benefits and may help reduce the risk of heart disease. Olive oil is high in monounsaturated fats, which are known to support heart health by lowering LDL (bad) cholesterol levels and improving blood vessel function. It’s best used for salad dressings and drizzling over cooked dishes. Extra virgin olive oil is typ -
ically not used in cooking or baking since it has a lower smoke point. If one would prefer to use olive oil, refined olive oil or light olive oil can be a better choice due to its higher smoke point.
Avocado oil is another excellent hearthealthy option. It has a high content of healthy fats and vitamin E. Its high smoke point of about 520°F (271°C) makes it ideal for high-heat cooking methods like frying, roasting, baking, and grilling, where other oils may burn or lose their beneficial properties. It also adds flavor to dishes, making it suitable for both cooking and finishing touches on salads or veggies.
Coconut oil has gained significant popularity due to its unique composition of medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs), which are quickly absorbed by the body and may support metabolism and brain. However, it is also high in saturated fat – about 90% -- which is why it should be consumed in moderation. Coconut oil is solid at room temperature but melts easily, making it great for baking, sautéing, and even as a butter substitute. Though it can contribute to raising HDL (good) cholesterol, the high saturated fat content means it may increase LDL (bad) cholesterol if consumed exces-
sively, so it’s important to balance its use within a healthy diet.
Flaxseed oil is rich in omega-3 fatty acids, making it beneficial for heart health and reducing inflammation. It’s also an excellent plant-based alternative for those seeking to boost omega-3 intake. However, flaxseed oil has a low smoke point of around 225°F (107°C), meaning it should never be used for cooking, as it will break down at high temperatures. Instead, it should be used in cold applications such as drizzling over salads or adding to cold dishes to preserve its nutritional value.
Walnut oil, like flaxseed oil, is another excellent source of omega-3s, which contributes to heart health and helps reduce inflammation. It also contains polyunsaturated fats, which can help lower cholesterol levels and improve blood vessel function. Walnut oil is very flavorful and can enhance the taste of salads and roasted vegetables. It is ideally used for cold applications and low-heat cooking and should be avoided for high-temperature frying due to its lower smoking point.
Sesame oil is available in two varieties: light sesame oil and toasted sesame oil. Light sesame oil, which has a high smoke
point of around 410°F (210°C), is perfect for stir-frying, sautéing, and deep frying. Toasted sesame oil, on the other hand, has a rich, intense flavor and is best used as a finishing oil or in dressings. Sesame oil contains a mix of monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats and is also rich in antioxidants like sesamin, which may offer additional health benefits for heart health.
Less Healthy Oils to Limit
Vegetable oil is a broad term that typically refers to a blend of refined oils like soybean, corn, and canola oil. These oils are heavily processed which remove their beneficial nutrients and antioxidants. A major concern with vegetable oils is their high omega-6 fatty acid content. While omega-6s are essential for the body, an imbalance between omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids can promote chronic inflammation, which has been linked to conditions such as heart disease, obesity, and arthritis. Since vegetable oils are commonly used in fried and processed foods, their overconsumption can contribute to poor health outcomes. Additionally, some vegetable oils may contain trace amounts of trans fats due to the refining process,
which further increases the risk of cardiovascular disease. For these reasons, it is best to limit or avoid vegetable oil whenever possible, opting instead for healthier alternatives like olive or avocado oil.
Canola oil is often marketed as a heart-healthy choice due to its lower saturated fat content. However, most commercial canola oil undergoes heavy processing which degrades its nutritional quality while introducing trans fats. Another concern is that many canola oil products are derived from genetically modified (GMO) crops, which some consumers prefer to avoid due to potential environmental and health concerns. While canola oil does contain some omega-3 fatty acids, these benefits may be offset by its high omega-6 content.
If choosing canola oil, it is best to opt for cold-pressed, organic, or non-GMO versions, which retain more of their natural nutrients and antioxidants. However, for those looking to maximize health benefits, oils like extra virgin olive oil, avocado oil, and walnut oil are preferable options.
Palm oil is widely used in processed foods and has a high saturated fat content, which can raise cholesterol levels if consumed in excess. Additionally, its production is associated with environmental
concerns, including deforestation.
Corn and soybean oils are commonly found in processed foods and fried foods. They contain high amounts of omega-6 fatty acids, which can promote inflammation if not balanced with omega-3s. These oils should be used sparingly.
The Best Oil for Cooking
The best oil depends on the cooking method. For high-heat cooking, oils with
Best Oils for Baking
It is important to choose the right oil when baking since it can impact texture, moisture, and flavor. Avocado oil is an excellent baking choice, as it has a high smoke point, making it great for baking cakes, muffins, and cookies. Avocado oil and coconut oil are often used as a substitute butter or margarine due to their thicker texture. However, when doing so, there are a few considerations to keep in
For those looking to maximize health benefits, oils like extra virgin olive oil, avocado oil, and walnut oil are preferable options.
a high smoke point like avocado oil, refined coconut oil, and light olive oil are ideal. For medium-heat cooking, extra virgin olive oil, sesame oil, and canola oil (if unrefined) work well. For no-heat applications, oils like flaxseed, walnut, and extra virgin olive oil retain their nutritional benefits when used in salad dressings or drizzled over dishes.
mind. Firstly, margarine is a solid, while oil is liquid, which can affect the texture and moisture of baked goods. In terms of measurement, margarine can generally be used in a 1:1 ratio for oil. Additionally, margarine and oil differ slightly in taste, which may alter the taste of the final product. However, if possible, it is very beneficial to make that swap and incorporate
these healthy oils in place of margarine/ butter. Margarine is highly processed and often contains trans fats, which have been linked to increased cholesterol levels, heart disease, and inflammation. While many brands have reduced trans fats, margarine is still made with refined vegetable oils that are prone to oxidation, leading to harmful free radicals in the body. Butter, on the other hand, is high in saturated fat, which, when consumed in excess, can raise LDL (bad) cholesterol and contribute to heart disease. By opting for healthy oils, you can reduce unhealthy fat intake while maintaining the necessary ingredients in your food.
Incorporating the right oils into your diet can enhance both flavor and health benefits. Opting for natural, minimally processed oils while limiting refined and highly processed oils is a great step toward better overall health.
Aliza Beer is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail. com, and you can follow her on Instagram at @alizabeer
Mental Health Corner To Zoom Or Not To Zoom
By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman
To Zoom or not to Zoom, that is the question. The past year’s unique circumstances have propelled us into the Zoom age in completely unexpected ways. Many activities that for time immemorial were exclusively done in person are now commonly being done remotely. This leads to the question if psychotherapy can be successfully delivered via Zoom or any other remote platform.
When you get down to the nitty gritty, every case is different. However, a large part of the equation depends on if the therapist properly prepared himself or herself for remotely delivering a therapeutic experience. Therefore, in this article we will focus on what a therapist needs to take into account in creating a proper online experience for the client. We hope that prospective clients will thus become educated consumers.
Losing Home Field Advantage:
The first major difference is that, as opposed to conventional therapy, the client is inviting the therapist into their home. Traditional in-person therapy provides the home field advantage for the therapist and allows the therapist to control every aspect
The Background: Although the therapist cannot control the entire environment, the therapist is still the one who decides what appears in the background on their screen. The background should be planned with care and should be consistent. It may be confusing for the client if in one session the background is a plain wall and in a different session it is a bookcase. Also, the client can only see what is in the field of vision of the camera. That means that the cute picture of the poodle that is right behind the therapist might not be a distraction when the client is sitting in the room, but may be a major distraction when all the client sees is the therapist and the poodle.
Communicating The Sanctity
Of The Space: One of the advantages of in-person therapy is that the client can readily see that the therapist created a special and safe space just for them. With remote therapy, the client might be concerned that someone else is in the room and is outside of the camera’s view or that people can overhear the therapist. A therapist might need to specifically tell the client that they created a special space for the
Mastering
The Technology: Your average therapist might not be the savviest person in regard to technology. However, once a therapist decides to see clients remotely, the therapist must overcome their hesitations and master the technology. Is there enough bandwidth? Does he or she know all of the ins and outs of the remote platform? Is the computer up to par for the task? Was all of the equipment tested beforehand? Did the therapist record himself or herself in order to see if the lighting is properly set up? Is there a backup means of communicating in case the internet goes down in the middle of a session? Is the platform secure and HIPPA compliant? The list goes on and on.
The Eye Contact Issue: One of the most important ways of connecting with another person is by making eye contact. When in person, that is done very simply by looking at the other person’s eye. However, when your image is being recorded by a webcam, the only way to make eye contact is by looking at the camera and not at the person’s eye. If you look into their eyes, the other person sees you looking downward. There are some high-tech solutions to this problem, but the partial low-tech solution is to situate the other person’s head on your screen as close as possible to the camera. When you now look at the other person’s eyes, your eyes will appear as somewhat making eye contact.
Therapists might need to provide guidance from the get-go on how the client should set up their space and technology.
Ambient Sound: The ambient sound on the therapist’s end might sound very different to the client. Sometimes, minor background noises can become amplified on the other end. Even something as simple as a ceiling fan may produce some very disturbing background noise. If the therapist is a notetaker, typing notes might simply be out of the question.
The Client’s Voice: In-person therapy allows the therapist the chance to read all of their client’s body language. During remote therapy, the therapist can only see part of the client. A way to compensate is to try to really focus on the “voice language” of the client. Their breath and tone can tell a therapist a lot about their emotions. Investing in top-of-the-line headphones might be necessary in order to hear their client with the utmost clarity.
As you can see, remote therapy cannot just be done on the fly. A lot of time and effort needs to be invested into making the remote experience as close as possible to in-person therapy. With sufficient preparation on both the therapist’s end and the client’s end, a remote therapy session can be a viable option for many clients.
Preparing The Client: You are only as strong as your weakest link. Even if the therapist has everything properly set up on their end, there might be problems if there are deficiencies with the client’s technology. Additionally, the client might need to be specifically told that the therapy can be compromised by notifications popping up on their screen during a session.
This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@ reliefhelp.org
Parenting Pearls Parental Self-Care
By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
Naturally, parenting articles generally focus on the various aspects of taking care of children. Little ones need continuous care, and older ones still need our love and guidance. A parent’s job is unending and lasts even into adulthood. It’s obvious that as parents we are going to require information as to how we can optimally address these various needs.
While stressing the importance of ensuring children are fed and rested, it’s surprising how often we neglect the same in ourselves. We have this crucial role to fulfill, yet, too often, we don’t provide for our own needs in a way that will ensure we are up to this task.
We can only give from what we have. If we don’t have our own reserves, then we have nothing left for our children. We may deny our own needs and deplete ourselves until something explodes or collapses. Aside from the idea that “parents are people, too,” we owe it to ourselves and our children to think of our own needs.
We also need to demonstrate for our children the various behaviors we want to see them follow. We can lecture on proper nutrition, but it means nothing if we mostly eat nutritionally lacking food. We may tell them all about bedtime, but they see when we go to sleep late and can’t function the next day.
Food and Drink
Adults need to eat nutritious foods and stay hydrated. This sounds simple yet is frequently ignored.
Too often, adults either skip meals or eat junk. Without proper fuel, cars don’t run, and people are similar. Someone may push themselves to the limits, think they’re doing well, and then they crash. They snap at someone, maybe they say something they regret, but they inevitably won’t function properly.
Hydration isn’t only for sick patients. Everyone needs to drink enough water and hydrating beverages. This is especially true in the summer but applies year long. Despite its popularity, coffee isn’t a water substitute. Everyone has their own
tolerance and limitations. If something –caffeine, sugar or anything else – makes you jittery, then carefully watch your intake. A high-strung adult is not going to respond appropriately.
Sleep
Nobody functions without sleep. Maybe we doze off randomly, make poor decisions or yell, but lack of sleep will catch up eventually. This is another area where adults tend to push their limits and hope for the best.
Ideally, adults go to sleep at a normal hour so they can get sufficient rest before waking up the next morning. The reality is far from this. There is so much to do that we stay up late to “just finish one more thing.” Maybe we get into bed and then don’t fall asleep for a while. As hard as it is, we need to prioritize getting into bed and falling asleep.
Families with babies will not get sleep. It’s inevitable and built into the makeup of infants. The newest family members require around-the-clock care and love, leaving adults with minimal sleep and only in small increments. Parents should attempt to prioritize sleep whenever possible, getting into bed early and napping.
Physical Health
This is an area we truly appreciate how much Hashem controls, but we can still do our hishtadlus. Adults have a tendency to put off their own physical needs. We will ignore a cold until it gets worse, pain until it grounds us, and our own needs until something breaks. We’re busy, and with so much to do for our kids, it is inevitable that we’ll push aside our own needs.
Overall physical health will affect our ability to focus and be present for our children. Making sure we remain physically active and healthy gives us the strength to chase after kids and do the daily tasks that parenting requires. Taking care of ourselves is another step that ultimately gives us the ability to provide for our children.
Emotional Health
This is a very challenging area, and one
that we often don’t realize when we are struggling in it. If we ignore our emotional health, then we have absolutely nothing to give our children.
Children have many physical needs and require full-time care. Young children, in particular, need to be kept safe from their own antics, and babies are helpless without their loving adults tending to them. With all these constant but necessary physical tasks, we can overlook the importance of meeting their emotional needs.
More than being fed, bathed and sent off to school, our children need our love. They need the feelings of security and stability that can only come from us. A youngster’s entire world originates with the adults in their life, and a child’s ability to recognize their own self-worth, potential and sense of internal peace begins with us. It would take many articles to begin to explain what an impact a parent has on their child’s emotional health.
It takes an emotionally healthy adult to best meet a child’s emotional needs. A parent that is themselves suffering will not have the availability to be emotionally present for their child. Even if we’re there physically, if we can’t show them love and support, then we aren’t meeting their needs sufficiently.
If we ignore our own emotional needs, then we are teaching our children to do the same. They will learn to think their feelings are not important and can be ignored when inconvenient. Instead, we want them to see that we value this area of our health and that they should prioritize theirs, as well.
Spiritual Health
Our neshamos need care, too, and we can’t neglect them. We can easily fall into the pattern of doing things by rote, failing to connect to our Creator. All of us need a certain amount of time dedicated to remaining inspired and focused on our growth and purpose.
Aside from the poor example this sets for our children, it denies us a major part of who we are and our purpose in this world. Our connection and faith in Hashem should not remain at the maturity level of where we were before we had children. Especially with all the stress and pain we are going through as a nation, it’s only our continuous trust in Hashem that helps us get through each day and move on to the next. We can’t afford to be without this.
Rather than cause readers to feel guilty, this article is meant to be a reminder and encouragement to prioritize ourselves in the appropriate ways so we’re functioning at our best potential levels. We need to be more than merely “functional”; we need to be present and available. Too often, we think it’s selfish to provide for our own needs, but it’s only through managing our own needs that we can be the parents our child deserves. Only through showing care and love to ourselves can we pass this on to the next generation.
Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.
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School of Thought
By Etti Siegel
Q:
Dear Etti, Purim is coming up, and frankly, I am already anxious about the experience. Last year, my toddler daughter cried when she saw people dressed up, and my 4-year-old son refused to wear the costume we chose together.
Also, I look at all the families with themed mishloach manos and kids all matchy-matchy, and I know I won’t have that.
But what can I do to make the experience a positive one?
- Wishing for a Perfect Purim
A:Dear Wishing, It’s completely understandable for a young child to feel scared about Purim, especially with people dressing up in costumes and masks that make familiar faces look different.
Purim can be an exciting but overwhelming holiday with its lively atmosphere, and some children need extra reassurance that everything is safe and meant to be fun.
The first step in helping them is to validate their feelings and let them know that it’s okay to feel this way.
Young children, in particular, have a harder time distinguishing between reality and fantasy, making costumes and masks feel like a real-life invasion. Instead of dismissing their fears, let them know that you understand why they feel scared and that they aren’t alone in feeling this way.
I remember taking my children to an Uncle Moishy concert, and when one of his “pals” came out, they began to scream. We spent the rest of the concert outside, close enough to enjoy the music but far enough to no longer be scared of the dressed-up character.
Gradual exposure is a helpful approach. (Which maybe I would have done if I would have realized Uncle Moishy brings these characters to his shows!)
Avoiding Purim excitement completely may seem like the easiest solution, but it can reinforce anxiety and make it even harder in the future.
Instead, start preparing your child for Purim early. Tell them that people find it fun to dress up and that costumes are just pretend.
Show them how dressing up works, perhaps by putting on a costume yourself and then taking it off to demonstrate that you are still the same person.
We have a costume box for kids to play dress-up with all year. If you have one, add some fun pieces. If you don’t have one, you might want to start collecting for one! An old black hat, an old wig, some funny hats, clown glasses,
children’s construction outfits, and other assorted costumes are fun and would go a long way in having your children be more comfortable with dress-up.
Reading books about Purim and using toys or dolls to act out Purim scenes can further help them understand the celebration in a fun, low-pressure manner.
If you visit a Purim party and there are masks or costumes that scare your child, take a moment to explain how the costume is made and let them see that it’s not real. If they are comfortable, they can even try touching a costume or mask to help demystify it.
It’s also important to tailor their Purim experience to their comfort level.
Sometimes a child will beg for a specific costume, only to refuse to wear it on the actual day. Instead of getting frustrated, it helps to have a backup plan, such as something simple from a dress-up bin, or allowing them to choose something last-minute that makes them feel comfortable.
While some families enjoy dressing up in elaborate costumes or decorating with themes, a child who is already anxious may find this overwhelming. If possible, keep the environment festive but not too intense, choosing bright, fun decorations rather than anything that might look too dramatic or scary.
Giving them some control over their experience can also make a huge difference. If they don’t want to wear a costume you chose, swallow your disappointment and let them choose their own way to celebrate. Maybe they’d prefer to wear a special shirt, something from the dressup box, or a favorite accessory instead.
Letting them hang up the decorations they make in school, help bake hamantaschen, or prepare mishloach manos for family and friends can give them a sense of participation without forcing them into uncomfortable situations.
It’s also important to tailor their Purim experience to their comfort level. If a big, loud Purim party is too overwhelming, consider attending a quieter gathering or celebrating at home with close family. Some children may feel more at ease watching the festivities from a distance before deciding to join in or not.
Parents can also model confidence by staying calm and showing enjoyment in the holiday. If a child sees that their parent isn’t afraid of the costumes and excitement, they will start to feel reassured.
Be ready to leave if your child seems truly scared.
If your child gets anxious, please do not take them to a public megillah reading! See if there is a smaller, family-friendly tailored-for-kids reading available (i.e.: not a real megillah reading), and have parents go to the many options for adults.
Ultimately, the goal is progress, not perfection. A child doesn’t need to fully embrace every aspect of Purim all at once. Some aspects of the holiday, like loud groggers, large crowds, or elaborate costumes, may be too much for them this year, and that’s okay. Each small step, whether it’s looking at pictures, trying on a costume for a few minutes, or even just being in the same room as dressed-up family members can help them build comfort over time.
Children who are nervous about Purim can eventually come to see it as a joyful and exciting holiday in their own way.
With patience, reassurance, and gentle encouragement, most children even find themselves looking forward to the fun, treats, and celebrations in years to come.
Happy Purim!
- Etti
Mrs. Etti Siegel holds an MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. She is an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning, is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech Magazine and The Journal for Jewish Day School leaders. She will be answering your education-based questions and writing articles weekly for The Jewish Home. Mrs. Siegel can be reached at ettisiegel@gmail.com.
