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JANUARY 17, 2019

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CONTENTS COMMUNITY

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 Community Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Rabbi Motty Rabinowitz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

PEOPLE 613 Seconds with Ari and Hinda Moskovitz . . . . . . . . 23

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Notable Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

LIFESTYLES Health & Fitness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 My Israel Home. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 Dating Dialogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Israel’s Upcoming Elections. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Mental Health Corner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64 Tribe Tech Review. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 World Builders. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67 Life Coach. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Your Money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 Gluten Free Recipe Column. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

NEWS

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Israel News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

Dear Readers, “A kohen may walk over coffins… to greet non Jewish kings, so that a distinction will be able to be made between them and Jewish kings when their glory will return to its place.” (Rambam, laws of mourning 3:14) When seeing the glory of an inauguration or the intensity of a Super Bowl, the natural reaction for a Jew is to long for the return of the splendor and greatness of our own Jewish leaders. To yearn for a return to a time when G-d’s presence was tangible in the mundane and holiness was the going currency. America is the kindest superpower to have ever existed. Founded in the G-d given rights of every human being, it has become the beacon of light for freedom around the globe. Although reluctantly at first, we Jews have been allowed to and indeed have been given complete freedom in making this our newest home in the wonderings of the past two millennia. In just a little over seven decades we have established vibrant and flourishing Jewish communities throughout the United States. One can choose a daf yomi shiur in Minnesota, a chassidus shiur in Houston, and chalav yisrael pizza in Atlanta, in addition to the schools, shuls, mikvaos and myriads of Jewish organizations peppered throughout the United States. Yet something fundamental is missing. Without it, it all feels like a shell. Hollow, like a body without a soul. “There’s nothing more complete than a broken heart.” The Jewish heart yearns for a moral world. A world free of pain. We don’t feel at peace with ourselves if there’s injustice anywhere in the world. On a spiritual level, we feel incomplete when our beliefs aren’t self-evident. We are restless as long as there is even one individual who isn’t looking to connect to the source of life, broken by the friction between the creator and the created. In the past we were “broken” by libels and pogroms. We now produce the “squeezed out pure olive oil” from an internal dichotomy, an internal “squeeze” that we don’t see truth as it is. Though it’s beautiful to visit the land of Israel – who doesn’t have great memories of their first visit? – the inner Jew won’t feel at home until he’s living at home, with the rest of the family. In the final chapters of the laws of kings, the Rambam makes clear that we won’t know the details of Moshiach’s arrival until it happens. How he will come, we don’t know. When he will come, we hope very soon! U’bichesed u’birachamim. Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos, Shalom

The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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JANUARY 17, 2019

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Around the Community

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JANUARY 17, 2019

Menucha of Baltimore Hosts Shabbaton By: Hamodia/ Devorah Klein BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

n Shabbos Parashas Vayechei, Menucha of Baltimore hosted a gala Shabbaton at the Delta by Marriott in Hunt Valley, Maryland. The event, which was attended by approximately 25 families, was intended as a weekend of chizuk and camaraderie for parents of children with special needs. Rabbi Aryeh Richter, executive director of Menucha, remarked, “In my opinion, the strongest point of the event was the fact that these families enjoyed a Shabbos where they were happy and comfortable with their surroundings, together with their special needs children. For the most part, these families live in our beautiful community as yechidim. As much as people are sympathetic, it can be difficult for

these families to feel comfortable in public while feeling the pressure to conform to social norms. However, at the Shabbaton, everyone was moved into a comfort zone which can only be provided with a surrounding of friends who can truly relate to their situation. Many people expressed to me that just being there was so refreshing.” A highlight of the event was the presence of Rabbi Shmuel Silber, Rav of Suburban Orthodox Congregation, who served as a scholar-in-residence, and offered words of encouragement and positivity. Rabbi Silber delivered several addresses during Shabbos, including, “Family Dynamics: Getting Along with Others and Ourselves,” “Making Room for the Broken Tablets – Finding Inspiration in the Midst of Life Challenges,” “Watching the Waves – Personal Salvation through Hope and Resilience,” and “As One Day Ends, Another Begins – the Close of Shabbos and the Start of a New

Week of Life.” Rabbi Silber’s messages were extremely well received. As one attendee expressed, “(The Shabbaton) was exceptional! It was incredible! We specifically both gained so much from Rabbi Silber. His wisdom, his words, and his warmth were so powerful and meaningful. His messages left a real impact on both of us. We keep reviewing together the speeches because they were full of depth and chizuk.” Other features of the program included a panel discussion, featuring Mrs. Gitti Horowitz, Assistant Principal of Bais Yaakov Middle School,

and “Ashreinu Ma Tov Chelkeinu,” a group discussion for Mothers of Menucha, led by Mrs. Esther Ward. Throughout Shabbos, Mrs. Horowitz was available for private meetings. A well-run children’s program, coordinated by Mr. and Mrs. Pesachya and Devorah Neuman, was held throughout Shabbos. Approximately 25 dedicated volunteers also attended the event, providing one on one attention to the children, while their parents gained chizuk from the inspiring lectures and sessions. Attendees left the Shabbaton greatly uplifted. As one attendee shared, “We wanted to thank you for a very inspiring Shabbos. The attention to detail was obvious as so many details came together so smoothly. You really thought of everything. We truly enjoyed the entire Shabbaton! Rabbi Silber added so much to the Shabbos, his words are a pleasure to listen to. We are looking forward to next year!”

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JANUARY 17, 2019

Delegate Dalya Attar “affirmed” into the General Assembly

Chabad House Wins Stay Of Demolition Until Appeal Resolved By: Staff Reporter BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

judge has halted a court order requiring the operators of a Jewish outreach program in Maryland to raze the addition to their Chabad house. The Baltimore Sun reports the Baltimore County Circuit Court judge ruled Thursday that the demolition of the Chabad of Towson and Goucher addition could be deferred until an appeal is resolved.

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The house’s residents, Rabbi Menachem Rivkin and Scheina Rivkin, are asking the Court of Special Appeals to review an order saying they can’t simply move the addition to comply with setback and zoning rules. The center does have to post a bond of $125,000, the estimated cost of demolition. The operators are also suing Baltimore County in federal court, asserting discrimination. The lawsuit says the demolition would deprive Jewish students of their religious rights.

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JANUARY 17, 2019

Nathan Willner Appointed as New Government Affairs Officer for National Creditors Bar Assocaition’s (NCBA) By: BJLife/Mark Dobosz, Exec. Director, NCBA BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

athan Willner will manage state and federal governmental activities with a primary focus on developing and implementing a state government affairs program, and related activities plan, in

order to advance the NCBA It gives me great pleasure to announce that Nathan Willner has accepted our offer of the position as NCBA’s new Government Affairs Officer beginning February 1, 2019. Nathan will manage state and federal governmental activities with a primary focus on developing and implementing a state government affairs program,

and related activities plan, in order to advance the NCBA’s strategic objectives. This includes identifying and addressing regulatory, legislative and administrative threats and opportunities. He will also be responsible for maintaining strong relationships with SCBA leaders and decision-makers and enhance the organization’s reputation at the state and federal level.

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JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community

The Rav Chaim Yisroel Belsky, ZT”L, Global Chullin Initiative Baltimore Presentation By: BJLife Newsroom BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

n today’s modern world we are much more distant from our food sources than ever before. Most of us know nothing about the meat we consume, other than that it comes nicely cut and packed in our local supermarket. This separation has led to a lack of familiarity with many basic halachos and a lack of understanding of large areas of Torah. Even the commonly practiced laws of kashering chickens our bubbies were so familiar with – or knowing when to bring the chicken to the rav for a shailah – have become obscure. On Monday, December 24 the Baltimore community had hundreds of people participate in The Rav Chaim Yisroel Belsky ZT”L Global Chullin Initiative presentation by Rav Amitai

Bendavid, the author of Sichas Chullin for an informative and hands-on demonstration of these areas of Torah. The event series was generously sponsored by Meal Mart. These presentations have also drawn large crowds across the continent, from Toronto to Miami, and from Lakewood to Los Angeles, in over 30 cities. Thousands came to learn from Rabbi Bendavid, one of the leading experts in this field. Rabbi Bendavid is author of the sefer Sichas Chullin, which is the definitive handbook to accompany learning Maseches Chullin. Rabbi Bendavid demonstrated everything one would need to know from head to toe, literally, of the animal. From how to check a chalif, the special knife of a shochet, to the simanim of the animal. He even detoured from the Chullin related part of the presentation to show the wonderful nifla’os

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haBorei in many of the body’s remarkable systems. Rabbi Bendavid taught about which part of the animal are given to the kohein as part of matnas kehunah, as well as which parts were sacrificed on the mizbei’ach. He clarified the difference between cheilev and shuman, and the difference between glatt and non-glatt meat. For over two hours, the entire audience was glued to Rabbi Bendavid, drinking in his every word. This was a rare opportunity that opened up the eyes of not only those learning these areas of Maseches Chullin in Daf Yomi, but of all bnei Torah who are interested in understanding these important parts of Torah. This subject has also been close to the heart of The Agudah for a long time. Rav Belsky zt”l, as Moreh D’asrah of Camp Agudah, held demonstrations like these for hundreds of talmidim over the years. Rav Belsky dedicated his life to sharing his encyclopedic knowledge of Torah and science with a hands-on approach, bringing the most obscure sugyos to life his talmidim worldwide.The Global Chullin Initiative aims to carry on his great legacy by bringing Chullin to hundreds of thousands of Jews around the world. For decades, the Daf Yomi Commission of Agudas Yisroel has been at the forefront of spreading Torah learning throughout the country. On January 28, 1968, 800 people gathered at Bais Yaakov of Boro Park for the largest Siyum HaShas to date in the United States. Followed by the 7th Siyum HaShas, held on June 15, 1975, at the Manhattan Center in New York City, which drew an audience of over 5,000, and the 8th Siyum on November 14, 1982, in Felt Forum. The memorable

9th Siyum in Madison Square Garden on April 26, 1990, drew 20,000 participants and exceeded all expectations. Since then, most of us remember the growth firsthand, with the 10th Siyum in Madison Square Garden and Nassau Coliseum, the addition of the Javits center for the 11th Siyum, and the largest event of its kind in recent Jewish history, the 12th Siyum in MetLife Stadium in 2012. The inspiration these events brought to hundreds of thousands who attended spread throughout the world and led to tens of thousands committed to learning each and every day. Over the last two decades, The Agudah has been taking unprecedented steps to not only encourage learning The Daf but understanding The Daf better with Shiurim, live streams and special events like The Chullin Initiative. And now, as we approach the upcoming 13th Global Siyum HaShas, to be held be”H on January 1, 2020 at MetLife Stadium and satellite locations around the world, we look forward to an even greater growth in Torah learning.

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JANUARY 17, 2019

One Crucial Night to Raise Mental Health Awareness

By: Suzann Lasson

n Dec. 17th, the Baltimore Orthodox community was treated to an outstanding event. The theme of the night was raising mental health awareness: how to help oneself and others, the importance of getting treatment and going to therapy, and reducing shame and stigma. Each participant was provided a packet, including local organizations and their mental health services/contact information and a coping skills resource sheet; fact sheets were made available on an array of topics such as information about anxiety and depression, myths on mental illness and psychotherapy, and warning signs of mental illness and suicide, and brochures from local mental health programs.

The founder of Chazkeinu, Zahava List, was present with an abundant amount of information about her international women’s support group for people with mental illness. Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion was mostly filled by 8 p.m. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky, director of Baltimore’s Relief Resources, provided the night’s introduction. He first thanked Suzann Lasson, a local occupational therapist who was worked in behavioral health at local hospitals for over fifteen years, for her vision and perseveration in putting together the night’s program. He proceeded to thank the program’s primary sponsors, including, Bikur Cholim and Eric Reitberger, the president and 1 of the event’s organizers; Levindale hospital and Deborah Graves, the president and COO; Sinai Hospital and Dr.

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Jonathan Ringo, president and COO; Ohel New York children and family services, and Relief Resources. Other sponsors included Hatzalah, CBMI/ Lev Shlomo, Jewish Caring Network and Ahavas Yisrael. Rabbi Slansky stressed the importance of contacting Relief for mental health referrals and services. As he stated, Relief works hard at matching each client to a psychologist according to one’s specific needs in order to make the right fit. The first speaker of the night was Dr. Norman Blumenthal, Ohel New York’s director of trauma, bereavement and crisis response. Dr. Blumenthal began his presentation by reading a heart-wrenching letter written by a fifteen year-old orthodox girl with severe symptoms of depression and hx of suicide attempts. She describes her symptoms of depression, her inner suffering, and feeling as if she could not speak to anyone for fear of the stigma that coincides with mental illness. Dr. Blumenthal continued to speak about physical illness compared to mental illness, that just as people with physical illness must get treatment by a doctor, people with mental illness need to get treatment by a psychiatrist and psychologists, or the disease progresses and gets worse. The audience was privileged to end the night’s event by hearing from Rabbi Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro, the rav of Shaaray Tefilah synagogue of North Miami Beach, Florida. He delivered an enormously powerful message

which left audience members truly inspired. First he commended Dr. Blumenthal for delivering a strong message to inspire people who need help, to get the help they need. Rabbi Shapiro provided true stories on such topics as caring for one another through Arvis, as he explained, people suffering from mental health issues “Don’t care what people know, they want to know that people care”. Rabbi Shapiro explained the reasons that Choshech was the worst of the plagues, that, “When you’re in Choshech, you are utterly and completely alone; no one should ever have to feel completely alone”. He stressed the power of davening for the refuah of people with mental health issues. And he concluded his speech with these words, “Stop the stigma”. One Crucial night to Raise Mental Health Awareness is a beginning. As a community, I call upon everyone to destigmatize mental illness. Show support for those with mental health issues; show you care, that people are not alone. This should be the start to something new- the founding of more mental health support groups, programming in schools, and community mental health fairs. Please share your ideas with Suzann Lasson at otlasson@gmail.com. You can also share ideas and get mental health resources and referrals through Relief Resources at yslansky@relief.org. The program will be available on TorahAnytime. com forever.

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Around the Community

Baltimore’s Milk & Honey Bistro Changes Hands After 28 Years

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JANUARY 17, 2019

By: BJLife/Margie Pensak BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

efore Milk & Honey Bistro owner, David Hakakian, and his wife, Elizabeth, and their children immigrated to Baltimore from Iran, in 1987, he worked in a totally unrelated field. “I received a degree in electronics, in Iran, and was working as a technician there,” explains David. “I needed a parnasa when I came to Baltimore. My father, a”h, used to own a commercial sewing machine business; my whole life, I grew up around sewing machines. I found a job in a company going to factories and fixing all types of machines, for four years, until I started working at Milk & Honey Bistro in January, 1991, in the same Pikesville location it is in, today.” How was David able to reinvent himself as a chef—going from machine repair to flipping pancakes in the air? “When you need, you learn,” notes David. “Boruch Hashem, we learned fast.” David reminisced with Baltimore-

JewishLife.com about the customers, organizations, and synagogues - of all stripes - that he has always attracted, and the many sheva brachos, brisim, pidyon habens, upshearins, siyums, bo b’yoms, and bar and bas mitzvos the restaurant has hosted since it opened its sizable party room, seven years ago. It has even served as a makeshift shiva house, for out-of-town shiva sitters. “Rabbi Moshe Rappaport and I have become good friends because, Boruch Hashem, he did a lot of brisim at Milk & Honey,” recalls David. “Once, after a few brisim were held in one day at the restaurant, I joked with him, ‘That’s three times I met Eliyahu Hanavi, today!’” David confirmed that under the new owners, David Gewirtz and Aryeh Rosen, the current menu will remain, with the addition of new items. “We will have an expanded menu and hope to have extended hours, too,” notes David. “Many customers, over the years, have requested that we open on motzei Shabbos. “Boruch Hashem, we were always busy with catering and other things and weren’t able to. Now that

we have more help, we can open motzei Shabbos.” David Hakakian also reassured me that his customers will still see his smiling face at Milk & Honey. “I want to be here to make sure that the transition goes smoothly,” remarks David. “My goal is to make sure the new owners are matzliach, they stay matzliach, and they grow. I look forward to watching them upgrade the restaurant and the menu, because my wife and I have dedicated 28 years of our lives to Milk & Honey Bistro.” Aryeh and David have about 20

2/17/19

years combined food service experience. David worked for a caterer in Far Rockaway for 7+ years; worked for Bill Goldberg as an assistant kitchen manager at Yeshivas Ner Yisrael for one year; and, was assistant head mashgiach at the former Seasons supermarket. Aryeh, who also worked at the former Seasons supermarket’s Meat Maven department, has worked with various other venues and caterers in the Baltimore-Washington, DC, area, for years. Aryeh clarifies, “We are not looking to change, we are looking to expand. Our skill sets will bring Milk & Honey Bistro to the next level. We are keeping the same homestyle service, cooking, and ambiance--that is definitely something that we are going to thrive on.” Concludes David Gewirtz, “Aryeh and I have the utmost appreciation to David and his wife for working to make the transition as smooth as possible. We could not have asked for more yashar and ehrlich people to work with, and we wish the Hakakians many years of nachas from their family and from the restaurant. Aryeh and I look forward to meeting and serving you at the Bistro.”

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altimore’s burgeoning Jewish community is readying itself for a historical event – a momentous occasion of unimaginable magnitude. The anticipation is palpable and tinged with awesome trepidation. The holy sage, the noble scion of the preeminent Chasidic dynasty, Morienu Verbainu, K’vod Kedushaso, HaRav Aharon Hagar, The esteemed ADMO”R MiViznitz of Montreal SHLIT”A will grace the community with his presence. It is not often that a leading Torah giant, whose sageliness, wisdom, knowledge, and piety are only matched by the devotion, dedication, caring, warmth, and kindness he displays for every Jew takes leave of his community for a full week in order to inspire another. This is, however, exactly what the Rebbe SHLIT”A plans to do in his mission to deliver his signature brand of spiritual strength and mystical rejuvenation to the Baltimore community. The Rebbe is known worldwide for the mesmerizing warmth and brilliant erudition that have drawn thousands of Jews from all walks of life to him. He welcomes them all with open arms and all are eager to drink from the limitless wellsprings of Torah he espouses.

For over twenty years, The Rebbe SHLIT”A has painstakingly built the Montreal community brick by brick, institution by institution, and most significantly, member by member. He established a Bais Medrash, Yeshivos, Kollelim, schools, and Mikvahos modeled in the sacred tradition of his holy father to his involvement in Shiduchim, Gemilus Chasodim, and facilitating honorable parnosa to those in the Montreal community. All these monumental undertakings were accomplished while simultaneously providing guidance and counsel to all those who seek it from him around the clock. Yet, despite his unrelenting obligations and demanding schedule, the Rebbe SHLIT”A has decided to take the time and make the trip to Baltimore, a citadel of Torah and Avoda in its own right in order to be Mechazek the Tzibur and raise their level of Avodas Hashem. It is most apropos that the Rebbe SHLIT”A’s arrival will take place the week of Parshas Beshalach – “Shabbos Shira”. A Shabbos with the holy Rebbe will certainly bring us one step closer to singing the ultimate Shira we are promised to sing with the coming of Moshiach BB”A.

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Ari and Hinda Moskovitz

How did you choose Congregation Shomrei Emunah as your shul? Ari always felt a connection to Shomrei since he spent a lot of time there on Shabbosim during his high school years. After we got married, he was asked to help run youth groups, which he did for about three years. I (Hinda) started coming to daven at Shomrei while Ari was working and really loved the warmth and strong

Hinda- How good is the cholent Ari makes for the Kiddush? Well, believe it or not, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never had any! Not because I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to, but by the time I round up the kids and get to the kiddush, the bowls are scraped clean! It makes me feel better that Ari has never tasted it either. Whenever we are away for Shabbos, shul goers tell us that we are not allowed to leave ever again because the substitute chulents donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t measure up.

Does he do the cooking at home also? At home, Ari is known as the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Shnitzel Kingâ&#x20AC;?. The way he prepares and fries it is a real art form. He also makes greatÂ omelets! Do you see yourself making a pidyon peter chamor at Shomrei in the near future?

We will be starting a GoFundMe page shortly. Please join us in honoring Ari and Hinda Moskovitz as well as the other honorees on February 2, 2019 at Congregation Shomrei Emunahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Evening of Appreciation. Ads and reservations can be placed by going to https://www.shomreiemunah.org/ campaign/2018-evening-of-appreciation.html

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How didÂ you decide to make your home in Baltimore? Hinda: When Ari and I were dating, I really loved coming down to Baltimore. There is a very strong sense of community here that was apparent very quickly! Ari was born and bred here and he couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t imagine a better place to raise a family.Â

What are your favorite aspects of the shul? Definitely the youth groups! All four of our children attend the Shabbos morning groups. We are VERY grateful to the hardworking individuals who make it all possible! We also love the Motzei Shabbos Kol Hanearim learning program. Our son, Shua, really enjoys spending one on one time with Ari and we love seeing how much he treasures his learning.

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The Week In News

Malaysia Blocks Israelis from Competing

When the Paraplegic World Swimming Championship is held in Malaysia this summer, swimmers from Israel will not be allowed to attend. This event is a qualifying event for the 2020 Paralympics in Tokyo. Hundreds of swimmers from 70 countries are expected to compete.

The International Paralympic Committee “expressed disappointment” about the decision. But Malysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad stayed firm and blustered, “If they want to withdraw Malaysia’s right to host the championship, they can do so,” Malaysia is one of a number of Muslim-majority countries that has no formal diplomatic ties with Israel, with entry to the country on an Israeli passport prohibited. Malaysia blocking Israelis from competing is hardly unique in the Muslim world. A Lebanese 7-yearold was recently lauded as a hero for refusing to play against an Israeli in a children’s chess championship. Perhaps another way to feel heroic would be for them to play against Israelis and beat them. We won’t start with Nobel Prizes or technological innovation, for their sake.

Can Flowers Hear? According to scientists at Tel Aviv

University, the oenothera drummondii flower excretes sweeter nectar within three minutes of hearing the sound of a flying bee. They found that the flower’s petals vibrate when sound waves at the frequency produced by pollinators’ wings pass by and serve as “the plant’s auditory sensory organ.”

In order to reach their findings, the scientists exposed oenothera drummondii plants to different sound playbacks and measured the concentration of sugar in their nectar. They compared plants’ responses to different sounds including pollinator recordings, synthetic sounds in pollinator frequencies and in much higher frequencies, and silence. To determine whether the playback sounds resulted in physical vibrations of the flower petals, they used laser vibrometry,

which is a scientific way to make non-contact vibration measurements of a surface. The research papers notes, “Our results document for the first time that plants can rapidly respond to pollinator sounds in an ecologically relevant way.” The next time you are trying to have a private conversation, make sure that there are no plants around. They can hear you, you know.

Former MK Pleads Guilty to Spying for Iran

Former Israeli cabinet minister

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The Week In News Gonen Segev, age 63, pleaded guilty last week to spying for Iran and will serve 11 years in prison, according to the Israel’s justice ministry. Segev, a medical doctor who served in the Knesset from 1992 to 1996 and served a stint as Energy Minister, is a nefarious character who in 2004 was given a five-year prison sentence after being convicted of trying to smuggle 30,000 ecstasy pills from the Netherlands to Israel using a diplomatic passport with a falsified expiration date. Upon his early release from prison in 2007, he moved to Nigeria where he practiced medicine. While there, Segev was recruited by Iran and has been accused of leaking details about Israeli officials and security sites. According to the Shin Bet, Segev repeatedly met with Iranian intelligence officials over the past six years and even visited Iran twice while working for the Iranians. He was given a classified communications system to send coded messages and

passed on “information related to the energy sector, security sites in Israel, and officials in political and security institutions.” Segev was detained in Equatorial Guinea in May and was extradited to Israel. Despite pleading guilty to charges of espionage, Segev reportedly told investigators that he had been trying to “fool the Iranians and come back to Israel a hero.”

Israeli Pop Star Turns Down Millions Not to Perform on Shabbos Omer Adam is a big Israeli pop star and now he has made a big kiddush Hashem by refusing to appear at

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the Eurovision this year since it would involve working on Shabbos. After having won the Eurovision last year, Israel will host the Eurovision this year. Organizers approached Adam to perform at the Eurovision, but it would have required him to rehearse on Shabbos. Adam summarily declined the offer.

This story has made waves throughout Israel and the world because Adam is considered to be traditional, not religious. However, in recent years, he has become increasingly vocal about his unwillingness to work on Shabbos. In 2017, he was offered 1 million shekels to perform at an event on Shabbos and he refused. Even organizers when offered him 2 million shekels, he replied, “No amount of money will ever cause me to violate Shabbat.”

Changing of the Guard

It was out with the old and in with the new on Tuesday, as outgoing IDF Chief of Staff Lt. Gen. Gadi Eisenkot handed over the reins to former deputy Aviv Kochavi. Before the ceremony inducting Kochavi into the role of head of the IDF, Eisenkot urged the army to remain above the political rancor that is currently permeating Israeli politics. “I am leaving behind a competent military, ready and strong, which will only strengthen its power, wisdom and determination,” said Eisenkot, who is retiring after 40 years of service. “As

an army of the people, the IDF above all must preserve its place in the center of civil public discourse,” he said. Eisenkot has pleaded in the past for the army not to be dragged into politics and vice versa, particularly amid the prosecution of a soldier who killed a wounded and disarmed Palestinian attacker in the West Bank. That case led to criticism of the army from some politicians on the right and death threats against Eisenkot. Eisenkot praised Kochavi’s leadership, saying his “determination and vast experience would strengthen the IDF’s readiness, preserve its values and continue to cultivate a sense of pride among the people.” The 54-year-old Kochavi was promoted from major-general at the ceremony, becoming Israel’s 22nd military chief. His official swearing-in took place at the Kirya military headquarters in Tel Aviv later that day. In his remarks, Kochavi thanked Eiskenkot for his years of service to the IDF, saying that “time after time the IDF proved its strength in defending the borders of Israel under your leadership.” “I take on this role with reverence and see it as a privilege,” he said. “The IDF is the people’s army, which honors its soldiers who come from all parts of the nation, and are strengthened by the support of the people.” Kochavi previously served as commander of military intelligence, chief of northern command and most recently as Eisenkot’s deputy chief of staff. He also commanded the Gaza division during Israel’s 2005 withdrawal from the Gaza Strip. The new IDF commander takes over at a time when Israel is openly engaged in military operations to prevent Iranian entrenchment in Syria, while also facing weekly violent confrontations in the south on the border with the Gaza Strip and the constant threat of tensions with Lebanon’s Hezbollah terror group. At the ceremony, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu lauded the leadership of both Eisenkot and Kochavi, but dedicated much of his remarks to warning Iran that continued entrenchment in Syria will lead to more Israeli strikes.

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The Week In News Zaka to Search Danube for Holocaust Victims A team of Israeli divers will search Hungary’s Danube River for the remains of Holocaust victims, Israeli Interior Minister Aryeh Deri announced on Monday.

Deri said that following a meeting he had with Sandor Pinter in Budapest, the Hungarian interior minister agreed to allow rescuers from the Zaka emergency service and victim identification organization to scour the river for bones of Jews who were shot and thrown into the waters of the Danube in Budapest during the Holocaust. Pinter also agreed to provide extra assistance in the project, the interior minister claimed. “If the martyrs’ bones are found,

they will be brought to Israel for burial,” Deri said in a video statement in front of the “Shoes on the Danube Bank” Holocaust memorial in Budapest. Thousands of Jews were murdered on the banks of the Danube by members of the Hungarian Nazi-allied Arrow Cross Party in 1944. The victims were among the roughly 600,000 Hungarian Jews wiped out during the Holocaust. The “Shoes on the Danube Bank”

memorial consists of 60 pairs of period shoes made out of iron to commemorate the Jews who were brought to the spot by members of the Arrow Cross. They were ordered to remove their shoes and then were shot so that their bodies fell into the river.

In 2011, human remains were discovered during construction work on the Margaret Bridge overlooking the Danube. Forensic examinations of the fragments indicated they belonged to more than 20 different people, including women and children, who had probably died during the war. But as investigations into the victims’ identity and cause of death proved inconclusive, authorities soon closed the case and removed the bones to storage where they remained until an anthropology student ran DNA tests on them in August 2015. The results revealed that at least nine of 15 samples from the bones were almost certainly Ashkenazi Jews from Europe, while the other six could also be of that ethnicity. With mounting evidence that the bones were probably those of Jewish victims of the Arrow Cross, Jewish religious leaders called for their immediate interment in a Jewish cemetery. Authorities initially preferred a non-denominational burial, given the possibility – albeit smaller – that the bones may have belonged to nonJews killed when Nazi German explosives destroyed part of Margaret Bridge in November 1944. Eventually, the sides agreed that the remains would be buried at a Jewish cemetery in Budapest. The affair added fuel to a growing debate over the degree of Hungary’s collaboration with the Nazis. Jewish groups have sometimes accused Prime Minister Viktor Orban’s rightwing government, in power since 2010, of downplaying Hungary’s role in the Holocaust during which some 600,000 Hungarian Jews perished. Approximately half a million

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The Week In News people or every third victim in Auschwitz was a Hungarian Jew.

South Koreans Learn the Talmud

Most South Koreans have never met a Jew. But almost all South Koreans believe that Jews are really small. “Jews account for just 0.2 percent of the world’s population, but 23 percent of Nobel Prize winners have been Jewish,” Seoul-based student Choi Jae-young related. “And despite all the time and money we spend on education, only one Korean has ever won a Nobel award. That irks many Koreans. It makes us want to learn Jews’ secrets.” Part of learning Jewish “secrets” can be found, South Koreans believe, in learning about the Jewish approach to education. “Koreans don’t have to emulate Jewish belief systems,” educational researcher Seol Dong-ju notes, “but we do need to copy the way Jews teach their children.” The result is dozens of private chavrusa-themed academies, with busy branches in major cities throughout the country, catering to everyone from toddlers to adults. Some make use of Korean-language Talmudic texts, while others follow entirely secular curricula. Kim Jung-wan, who directs one such academy – the Havruta Culture Association – explains that South Korea’s Jewish education quest is over 40 years old. It began in the mid1970s, when Korean translations of Talmud-inspired stories by Rabbi Marvin Tokayer, an American military chaplain stationed in Japan, first arrived in Seoul bookstores.

Tokayer’s stories were a runaway success. The Talmud, the vast Hebrew and Aramic compendium of first millennium law and lore, effectively went viral in South Korea: in the decades since, hundreds of Korean versions of the Talmud have appeared, mostly deriving from English-language translations and commentaries. These range from picture story books for children to thicker, more ponderous volumes for adults. It’s not just the Talmud that South Koreans are reading. There’s also a Korean-language translation of the Haggadah. When South Koreans visited yeshivos in search of learning more about Jewish education, they found chavrusa-styled lessons. For many South Korean thinkers, this was the “secret” they had been after since the 1970s: a learning methodology that added dynamism to book-based learning and removed the teacher as the focal point of lessons. Kim Jung-wan’s own long chavrusa journey began in 2001, when an academic acquaintance suggested he use the Talmud as a teaching tool for his son, then just a year old. “I kept exploring the subject. I was fascinated,” he said. Kim Jung-wan went on to study Hebrew at the Israel Culture Center, an affiliate of the Embassy of Israel in Seoul. “Eventually I began attempting to translate parts of the original Talmudic text into Korean using the Schottenstein English-language translation as a reference,” he said. “This month, I am heading to a yeshiva in Israel, where I’ll study for a month. It wasn’t easy for a non-Jew like me to gain admission, but I managed somehow.” Yoojung Kindergarten, a preschool in northern Seoul, recently added chavrusa modules to its curriculum. Children listen to stories from the Talmud and then embark on chavrusa-style peer discussions. “We wanted to find a fun, lively classroom activity that would promote creativity, but also help with moral education,” principal Jung Geum-sook said. “Chavrusa seems to tick all of these boxes.”

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Torah Thought

Raising Our Hands in Triumph

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The Talmud ):‫ (שבועות לה‬informs us that the usage of God’s name here by Micha is authentic and is imbued with sanctity, as Micha is indeed referring to the one true God. Micha’s tale actually begins many years earlier.

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

One of the most inspiring images captured in the Torah is that moment where the crazed Pharaoh, driven by hatred, unbecomingly harnesses his own chariot in hot pursuit of the Children of Israel. In stark contrast, the Jews, confident with great jubilation are )‫יוצאים ביד רמה (שמות יד ח‬, going out with an upraised arm, displaying their glorious victory over their archenemy, in their faces. )‫(מכילתא‬

ical equivalent of ,‫פסל מיכה‬ 245 )=80+60+30+40+10+20+5( is the same as ‫)! (בעל הטורים‬200+40+5( ‫רמה‬ )‫שמות יד כט‬

Yet beneath this celebratory veneer lurks a poisonous root that will haunt and challenge the Children of Israel for hundreds of years until they would ultimately be exiled from the land because of its influence.‫(מדרש תנחומא‬ )‫קדושים יא‬

Who is this Micha that implanted an idea that we evidently haven’t yet become free of?

A verse in the Book of Zechariah refers to an “affliction” that accompanied the Children of Israel even as they so miraculously crossed through the split Red Sea.

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will be good to me, for this Levite has become my priest.

)‫ועבר בים צרה (זכריה י יא‬, And over the sea affliction shall pass. The Talmud ):‫ (סנהדרין קג‬says this refers to the ‫פסל מיכה‬, the “image of Micha”, either an actual item or an attitude )‫ (גר"א‬that was idolatrous in nature, that Micha concealed even while they crossed the sea. The Baal Ha’Turim points out that the last letters in this verse spell out ‫ה‬-‫מ‬-‫ ר‬, an allusion to the ‫יד רמה‬, upraised arms, mentioned earlier. This is teaching us that even as they joyously marched out of Egypt, with “hands raised” in triumph, an idolatrous influence had already infiltrated their ranks. Furthermore,

the

numer-

It seems so strange that this first exuberant expression and display of absolute confidence and faith in the God, that just brought them out of Egypt, should be tainted with an implication of idolatry.

At the end of the Book of Shoftim (chapters 17 and 18) an episode is described, that according to most commentators took place at the beginning of the period of the judges. There it tells of a individual by the name of Micha who stole a large sum of silver from his mother. Fearing his mother’s curse, he promptly returns it and she is quick to forgive and bless him. She fashions a statue from the silver and appoints Micha to be the caretaker of the house of worship dedicated to it. At first Micha selects his son to serve as the priest in this temple. Eventually Micha encounters a Levite who is none other than the grandson of Moshe Rabbeinu! Realizing that enlisting this Levite would lend credibility to his enterprise, Micha promises him prestige and wealth and proceeds to install him as the priest.‫(רש"י‬ )‫שם בשם חז"ל‬ Micha seeing divine intervention in God presenting him this wonderful opportunity, exclaims, ‫עתה ידעתי כי‬ ‫ה לי כי היה לי הלוי לכהן (שו־‬-‫ו‬-‫ה‬-‫ייטיב י‬ )‫פטים יז יג‬, Now I know that Hashem

Moshe surveying the atrocities committed by the Egyptians, discovers a child who is ‫נתמכמך‬, crushed into the wall, being used as a brick to fulfill their impossible daily quota. In exasperation Moshe turns to God and “complains”, ‫למה הרעתה לעם‬ )‫הזה (שמות ה כב‬, “Why have you done evil to this people?” :‫(סנהדרין קא‬ )‫וברש"י שם‬ It was ‫מיכה‬, Micha who was the child in the wall, thus named because ‫נתמכמך בבנין‬, he was compressed into the wall. God pleads with Moshe not to intercede, forewarning him of the consequences, but allows Moshe nevertheless to save the child. Moshe does indeed rescue the child and as they say, the rest is history. Micha was a traumatized child. His mother seeking to soothe her errant child is understandably quick to forgive and bless him. Micha grows up in an environment of absolute belief in God as is evident in his being attuned to ‫השגחה פרטית‬, the fateful encounter with the Levite, seeing in it the benevolent hand of God. But therein lies his flaw. Sensing a special closeness and connection to God in the kindness He extends to us, it allows us to delude ourselves that God understands my limitations as well and gives us leeway in our observance and commitments to him. This was the atmosphere Micha’s mother bred him in, swiftly ignoring his moral weakness and writing it off for his unfortunate upbringing. Micha misinterprets God’s compassion towards him as a license to compromise. He translates this attitude into a relaxed adherence to the

precise laws of the Torah, convincing himself and others that God loves us and certainly understands our limitations, as long as we maintain the relationship. The great Rab Tzadok HaCohen warns us of this pitfall, in seeing the good God sends our way as an approval of our actions. He cites this very verse and expression of Micha in affirming his ways, as proof of its consequences.)‫(צדקת הצדיק לט‬ Rav Tzadok cites a Tanna de’Bei Eliyahu )‫ (סדר אליהו רבא פרק כו‬that states that Micha was ‫כפר באנכי‬, he disavowed the very first commandment of ‫אנכי ה' אלקיך‬, I am Hashem your God. What does this mean? He clearly believed in God, attributing the arrival of the Levite to God. At the splitting of the sea, every Jew experienced a “personal” bond with God. The Sh’lah HaKadosh ‫(עשרה מאמר‬ )‫ א א‬writes that when every single Jew individually exclaimed ‫לי ואנוהו‬-‫זה א‬ )‫(שמות טו ב‬, This is my God and I will glorify Him, they were each for the very first time attaining a personal connection with God, not one based on their father’s belief alone. ‫ ואנוהו‬is a contraction of the words ‫אני והוא‬, I and He, a declaration of a most cherished bond. The saintly Sefas Emes claims that not only did God provide each tribe its own path to traverse through the sea, with the intention to accentuate their tribe’s unique worthiness, but each person was provided a sense of validation, that for each one of them alone the sea was worth splitting. In Tehillim we recite ‫אתה פוררת‬ )‫בעזך ים (תהלים עד יג‬, You shattered with your might the sea. The Sefas Emes interprets ‫פוררת‬ as in ‫פירורין‬, crumbs. We were each presented with a delicious personal morsel of love, dispensed by the ‫זקן‬ ‫מלא רחמים‬, the Grandfather filled with mercy. )‫(שפת אמת פסח תרס"ד‬ ‫אנכי ה' אלקיך‬, I am Hashem your God, written in the singular, requires

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Torah Thought

us to take that very personal relationship and define it by God’s wishes alone, not our own. To sense that love as a compulsion, to rise to our challenges and draw newly discovered strengths in fulfilling His wishes. We must not allow the privileges of that relationship to give us a sense of entitlement, to serve as we please, on our own terms, and using our weaknesses as excuses, thinking that “God surely understands”. The description of the Children of Israel leaving the chains of bondage, ‫ביד רמה‬, with hands raised in exultant victory stemmed from a newfound connection with God. The flipside of this emotion was laden with a dangerous assumption that one can relax in one’s obligation, with the knowledge that God will accept one’s limitations, not expecting better. This is the defect Micha introduced that recurred for hundreds of years hence. It was a denial in the full thrust of the command of, ‫אנכי ה' אל־‬ ‫קיך‬, I am Hashem your God, abusing the relationship for one’s own benefit. The only other time in Torah the phrase "‫ "ביד רמה‬is used is in the context of the blasphemer. ‫והנפש אשר תעשה ביד רמה (במדבר טו‬ )‫ל‬, A person who acts high-handedly. One who misuses the unique connection we have with God, utilizing it for one’s selfish comfort, is as guilty as one who blasphemes God in frustrated anger and defying the special relationship he has with God. In each case there is an acknowledgement of His existence but reduces it to our own terms and understanding. At the splitting of the sea the ‫יד‬ ‫רמה‬, “upraised arm”, was a double-edged sword that needed to be wielded with utmost vigilance. No wonder the very same phrase has this double connotation.

When Moshe expressed with seeming ease his frustration of ‫למה‬ ‫הרעתה לעם הזה‬, “Why have you done evil to this people?”, he was taken to task for it. Moshe was already revealed at this juncture that he would not merit to enter the land. )‫(רש"י שמות ו א‬ Rav Avraham ben HaRambam writes that Moshe spoke “casually” with God as one who “speaks with a friend”. Perhaps a very subtle seed was planted at that very moment of Micha’s rescue that had wide ranging repercussions. Was it a mere coincidence that it was the grandson of Moshe that entered into a partnership with Micha? According to tradition Micha lived for several hundred years. He was considered a righteous man who unlike others who sinned gravely, was destined for a portion in the world to come because of the many magnificent acts of kindness he extended towards his guests. ):‫ קג‬:‫(סנהדרין קא‬ God indeed extended much mercy towards Micha, allowing him numerous chances to get it right. Indeed no one is as understanding as our Father in Heaven. But in that love and sympathy lies a greater faith in our greatness. It is in our ability to rise above our limitations and to conquer new heights. May we realize the deep love God has for each one of us never allowing it to lull us into passive observance. At the same time may we fathom the excellence that God awaits from us and relish the confidence He has in us and rise to the challenge!

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Shevat 28

Shevat 29

Shevat 22

Shevat 15

Shevat 8

Monday

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Adar I 6

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Adar I 8

Adar I 1

Shevat 24

Shevat 17

Shevat 10

Wednesday

February Shevat 9

Tuesday

22 Shevat 16

Shevat 23

Darchei Noam 100K Campaign see pages 21-22

Adar I 7

Shevat 30

Bnos Yisroel High School Production

Friday Shevat 12

Shevat 13

Saturday

Community Calendar

Shevat 20

see page 25

6:02 PM

Shevat 27

6:26 PM

Adar I 11

6:18 PM

Adar I 4

6:10 PM

Shomrei Emunah Evening of Appreciation 8:30pm

for Singles for more info events@theshadchanit.com

Melave Malka Paint Party

Ashley Blaker 8:30pm @ Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion see page 17

A Night of Laughter;

BY High School Production

see Cover page

4:52 PM

Shevat 19

5:00 PM

Shevat 26

5:08 PM

Adar I 3

5:17 PM

Adar I 10

5:25 PM

5:54 PM

The Vizhnitzer Rebbe Tish and Melave Malka

Shevat/Adar I 5779

I Adar 9

Adar I 2

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2019 13

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The Big Picture

A Not-So-Bitter Pill Parshas Beshalach

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By Rabbi Motty Rabinowitz

This week we celebrate the Jewish nation’s crossing of the Reed Sea in full fanfare and majesty. At the culmination of this monumental event, the people immediately stumbled into the harsh reality of desert life; precious little sweet water and a mediocre food supply. After languishing and complaining, Moshe performed the impressive feat of sweetening the bitter springs and enabling the people to quench their thirst. Summing up this episode at Marah, the Torah briefly relates the backdrop for this entire event: “There He gave the people a statute and an ordinance, and there they were tested.” (Shemos 15:25) Attempting to explain the nature of this statute and ordinance, the Talmud (Sanhedrin 56b) determines that the people were taught the commandments of Shabbat, a Judicial system and honoring one’s parents. This understanding begs several questions. First, why was it necessary to now teach them the essence of setting up a judicial system when this was already

part and parcel of the basic Noachide laws? Second, what specific relevance could there be at this particular moment, for honoring one’s parents? Third, given that the commandment of Shabbat was one of the Ten Commandments that would be presented in detail to the people at a fiery Mt. Sinai a mere six weeks later, why was it necessary to abruptly introduce them to its observance at this point in time? More fundamentally, why would the Torah weave these mitzvos into the seemingly unrelated events at Marah? The exodus from Egypt, was the first, albeit happier, expulsion in Jewish History. As the water settled after the drowning of their Egyptian captors, reality sank in. This was a new life, in a totally unfamiliar world. Although they had suffered in the brutal Egyptian slavery, they had lived for several centuries in a stable, cosmopolitan society - Egypt was after all the world’s superpower. Now, they suddenly realized that their life was not going to be a bed of roses. They had to cluelessly contend with starting

over in a harsh desert. The entire nation came up against this impasse at Marah – they understandably saw the new reality confronting them as bitter. How could they successfully navigate such extreme life changes? It is into this void that G-d entered and presented them with these tools and strategies to enable their successful transition into a bright new world. The laws of a legal system presented them with the hope and vision of a just and utopian society – there was a goal and dream that they were striving for – their endurance was not for naught. Similarly, the commandment to honor one’s parents, emphasized their history and the loving embrace by their ancestors - they were not in this struggle alone. I would like to focus however, on the final life-strategy symbolized by the day of Shabbos, and the necessity of its early introduction here. Indeed, the full corpus of the legalities of Shabbos observance was presented later at Sinai, but here they were presented with something even more essential – the beauty and serenity of Shabbos. They were forbidden from leaving their community and worrying about a livelihood. No stressing about finances, government shutdowns or paying the bills – a day of Noam Shabbos, a peaceful, tranquil and meaningful day of rest. A story is told of Rav Shteinman z”l, who was consulted by an outreach professional regarding a recent ba’al teshuva. Which mitzvos should such a person undertake as his first steps? After some deep thought, Rav Shteinman responded that he should assume several mitzvos, specifically Shabbos. But he wasn’t referring to the intricate laws of Shabbos. He posited that this

person should commit to going to shul on Shabbos, even if he still transgresses its observance in every other way! Somewhat puzzled, the professional prodded the Rov to explain. Rav Shteinman continued, “Many people have commenced to keep the laws of Shabbos; no car, no phone, no email. All their friends are having a ball, and they are lonely and miserable. How could they possibly keep this up? Is this an enjoyable Shabbos? This is bitter! No, first he must go to shul and spend time with a community. He must experience the joy and beauty of Shabbos. Only then can he succeed in his growth, and eventually observe all its laws.” This profound understanding of human nature is the undercurrent for the stipulation of Shabbos here at Marah, when life appeared bitter. This part of Shabbos, devoid of legalese, must precede everything else. Similarly, Rav Tzadok of Lublin details how Shabbos at its essence has the divine power to sweeten the bitterness in our lives. We struggle through the week, but rejuvenate on Shabbos with invigorated spiritual and physical strength. This is perhaps the most critical life strategy in our times, especially when educating the next generation. We of course want our descendants to observe the breadth and depth of the Torah. But the only realistic path to achieve this, is if they first experience the beauty and relevance of Torah. Instead of focusing on the No, we must first accentuate the Yes! Negativity and cynicism can fatally inhibit growth, but music, serenity and the beauty of Torah can jump-start it. There is indeed much hardship and potential bitterness in life. At Marah we were given the tools to sweeten that bitter pill.

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

Your Healthy Guide to Shabbos Eating The Do’s and Don’ts of Chicken Soup By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

inally, something healthy to eat at the Shabbos seudah: chicken soup. Chicken soup is one of the healthiest foods out there. It has actually been shown to aid the movement of infection fighting cells, which helps reduce cold symptoms. The warmth also helps soothe a sore throat. Chicken soup not only helps those suffering from the common cold, it’s healthy for everyone. Many feed their babies chicken soup as a first food. The reason why chicken soup is so healthy is because it is packed with nutrients, including immune boosting antioxidants from chicken and all the vegetables cooked in it. It also increases hydration. However, like all foods, there’s a way to properly make a healthy chicken soup. Even the healthiest of foods can be made wrong and become unhealthy. What are the do’s and don’ts of chicken soup? Do use chicken – any type; legs or thighs, dark meat or white meat. The more chicken you put in your soup, the richer the flavor will be and the more nutrients from the chicken will be absorbed. Eat the chicken, too. Approximately half of the calories from chicken come from the protein. Protein is essential for muscle building, maintenance, and losing fat. Do use turkey, if you prefer the flavor of turkey over chicken. You can use turkey legs, thighs or necks. They

each provide a good flavor and lots of nutrients. Turkey also has lots of protein so it makes a great choice for your chicken soup. Do skin your chicken or turkey – An ounce of chicken/turkey skin is 100 calories. It has absolutely no nutritional value and only fat. Remove and discard. Do not use marrow bones or flanken, which adds a lot of fat into

slimy layer at the top of the soup. Take a spoon and scoop off this thick layer of fat and discard. Do this each time you reheat your soup. Do put in as many vegetables as possible. Sure, traditional chicken soup mostly consists of carrots, but don’t stop there. Get creative. Fill your soup with carrots, zucchini, yellow squash, turnips, parsnips, green beans, celery, parsley, sweet pota-

Chicken soup not only warms the soul, it’s good for your body, too.

the soup. Sure, it will taste better, but it will add excess, unnecessary calories. Do cook your chicken soup for a long time, the longer the better. Cook it the whole day, if you can. By cooking the soup for many hours, it absorbs the chicken flavor and makes the soup thicker and creamier. Do take off the fat from the top of your soup. After you cook your soup for as many hours as possible, let it cool down and refrigerate it. Before reheating, you will notice a thick,

toes, onions, cauliflower, and pretty much any vegetable you like. Make it more of a vegetable soup with chicken than your typical chicken soup. The more vegetables, the more nutrients, and the more filling. Eating a hearty chicken soup like this can be a full meal. Do not put in matzah balls. Matzah balls are fluffy and delicious and fun to make, but actually have no nutritional value whatsoever. They simply add carbs to your otherwise healthy chicken soup (if you’re fol-

lowing the above instructions). Do not put in pasta. Once again, you don’t need to add starch to your soup or your Shabbos meal. Pasta, also known as soup lokshen, also has zero nutritional value and can definitely be skipped. Do flavor your chicken soup with a variety of spices to give it a delicious flavor. Do not overdo the salt. When pouring salt into a big pot, the amount added may seem like a small amount but salt content adds up and we do not need extra sodium in our diets. The less, the better. Don’t use chicken soup consommé. Any flavor consommé is full of MSG. If you think you are beating the system and getting MSG-free consommé, it’s still full of sodium. Chicken soup not only warms the soul, it’s good for your body, too. Follow the above guidelines and enjoy a hearty, healthy, delicious chicken soup at your Shabbos seudah this week. Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant. She can be reached at CindyWeinberger1@gmail.com.

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Zahava Farbman, MSW, Phd ABD

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Chai Lifeline Presents

The presenter of Soul Sisters, a daily email to thousands worldwide consisting of inspiration and chizuk from the worlds of Torah and psychology

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion 6602 Park Heights Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21215 Exclusive Meet & Greet for Chai Lifeline Parents at 6:30 PM RSVP: maevents@chailifeline.org For men & women

Generously sponsored by the Zaslow family In memory of the 2nd Yartzeit of Darrell Zaslow, Dovid Ben Hertz HaLevi

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Lifeline Presents FEBRUARY 5,Chai 2019 // 8:00 PM

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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JANUARY 17, 2019

TJH

Centerfold

You gotta be kidding Three Texans die and go to heaven and bump into Albert Einstein. Einstein introduces himself to the first guy and says, “Timmy, what was your IQ when you were alive?” “161,” Timmy replies. “Great!” says Einstein, “we’ll discuss my general theory of relativity and maybe a little unified field theory as I show you around.”

Riddle me this? A famous magician claims that when he is in the far north, he can point his car north on an ordinary road, drive it for one mile, and without turning around, end up one mile south from where he started. How does he do it?

Einstein then introduces himself to Billy Bob. When Billy Bob tells him that he had an IQ of 143, Eins te i n says, “If you’d like, we can discuss a little mathematics and some philosophy.”

See answer on bottom of the opposite page

Einstein then introduces himself to Bubba and asks, “What was your IQ when you were alive, Bubba?” “56,” says Bubba. Punching him on the arm, Einstein says, “Hey, Bubba, how ‘bout them Cowboys?!”

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If Tree Huggers Ran the NFL Denver Broncos: Denver Horses Ridden Abusively By Humans

Miami Dolphins: Miami Noble, Intelligent, and Wise Dolphins

Philadelphia Eagles: Philadelphia Endangered Bald Eagles

Chicago Bears: Chicago Endangered Grizzly Bears

Houston Oilers: Houston Oil-Spilling Well-Drilling Natural Resource Wasters

New York Giants: New York Vertically and Gravitationally Enhanced

Washington Redskins: Washington Native Americans Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City Native American Leaders

New England Patriots: New England Male Gun-Carrying Tree-Chopping Imperialist Dogs

San Diego Chargers: San Diego Electricity Consumers San Francisco 49ers: San Francisco Gold Profiteers

Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Furand-Horn-Wearing Pillagers

Dallas Cowboys: Dallas Cattle Murderers and Native American Exploiters

Pittsburgh Steelers: Pittsburgh CoalBurning Smog-Generating Steelers

Green Bay Packers: Green Bay Packers of Dead Abused Animal Flesh

Seattle Seahawks: Seattle Generic Sea Birds, Some of Which Are Endangered

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Waterborne Murderous Thieves

New Orleans Saints: New Orleans Sanctimonious Morals-Imposers

New York Jets: New York Air-andNoise-Polluting, Bird-Scaring Jets

Buffalo Bills: Buffalo Wild West Show Stars and Cattle Abusers

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

1. What is the official tree of the U.S.? a. American Chestnut b. Gray Birch

4. The tallest tree in the world is a Coast Redwood located in Northern California. How tall is it?

c. Oak

a. 379 ft

d. Hawthorn

b. 590 ft

b. 2,000

d. 1,100 ft

b. Solomon c. Goliath

e. Botanology

d. Jacob’s Ladder

f. Arboristology

d. 23,000

b. Oregon

b. Russia c. Australia d. Brazil

c. Treehugolagy

a. Methuselah

a. Wyoming

a. U.S.

b. Dendrochronology

c. 734 ft

c. 14,000

c. New York

3. Which country has the most square miles of forest?

a. Chlorophyllyzation

d. Makeitupology because nobodyknowsyourelyingology

5. Which of the following U.S. states has the most trees?

a. 500

by its rings is known as:

7. The science of calculating a tree’s age

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2. Approximately how many types of trees are there in the world?

closed to protect it from vandalism. If I found it, I would totally love to hang a “No Mets Parking Here” poster on it.) The tree is 4,789 years old. What is the name of the tree?

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Tree Trivia

d. Ohio 6. The oldest known tree in the world is located somewhere in Inyo National Forest, California. (Its exact location is undis-

 Answers

6-7 correct: You are a serious tree lover. Let me guess, you tied yourself to a tree to protest it being cut down to build a new hospital, right? 3-5 correct: Not bad. You see? You gained something from those nature walks that your parents forced you to take as a child. 0-2 correct: You could use a little less carbon dioxyde and a little more oxygen... Develop a give-and-take with your local tree and maybe you will do better on the next trivia.

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 Wisdom Key

7. B 6. A 5. B- According to a report published by the USDA Forest Service in 2002, Oregon has the most trees in the U.S. 4. A 3. B- Russia has approximately 3,287,243 square miles of forest. The U.S. comes in fourth place with 872,564 square miles of forest. 2. D 1. C

Answer to Riddle Me This: He drives his car in reverse.

Notable Quotes

JANUARY 17, 2019

“Say What?!”

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Brothers and sisters, there’s plenty of money in the world. Plenty of money in this city. It’s just in the wrong hands. - New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, during his State of the City address last Thursday

New York City is leading the way by guaranteeing that every New Yorker has access to quality, comprehensive access to care, regardless of immigration status or their ability to pay. - Ibid., announcing that everyone, even illegal aliens, will be given free healthcare in New York City

We understand that fashion is very important to our middle schoolers. However, we have had many students who have worn their Moncler Winter Pom Pom hats to school, and either lost or misplaced them. We need your help! Please try and redirect your middle schooler from wearing these hats to school… It has consumed a great deal of our time trying to locate these missing hats, and it has been disruptive to the students’ focus and time as well. - From a letter by Great Neck North Middle School to parents, urging them not to send their kids to school in Moncler “pom pom” beanie hats, which cost up to $350

To be the fairest big city in America, New Yorkers can’t be forced to choose between bringing home a paycheck and taking time off to just disconnect or spend time with loved ones – that choice ends with Paid Personal Time. - Ibid., saying that he will pursue a law requiring every employee in New York City to get two weeks of paid leave per year

I never rule things out because you never know what life brings.

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– Ibid., when asked on CNN if he plans on running for president in 2020

Disney Land is changing its prices and the cheapest ticket will be more than one hundred dollars. Which is kind of shocking. Which is why they take your picture the moment that you find out the price, and then they sell that to you for five-hundred bucks. – Jimmy Fallon

Pretty cool: A good friend is studying in Yeshiva in Israel. His rabbi told him he liked my beard, elaborating, “It gives Cruz a Talmudic & Rabbinic look & presence that will put the fear of the L-rd into Israel’s enemies & promote Middle East peace.” – Tweet by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), who recently grew a beard

The border [is] one of the safest places in America. - Beto O’Rourke (D-TX), former Texas congressman and likely Democratic 2020 presidential candidate, responding to President Trump’s address about the border

The Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office is asking that no one try to stop to get the chicken tenders that were spilled from the 18-wheeler accident last night. - Public service warning by the Alabama Emergency Management Agency telling people not to eat hundreds of chicken tenders spilled across a state highway after an accident last week

You know, that’s such a good question. I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe next time I see her, shall I ask? - Kate Middleton, when asked by a child while visiting a school, “Has the Queen ever had pizza?”

MORE QUOTES

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Remember: It was here, here in this city, that another American stood before you.

JANUARY 17, 2019

He told you that 9/11 led my country to abandon its ideals, particularly in the Middle East.

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He told you that radical Islamist terrorism does not stem from an ideology.

The results of these misjudgments have been dire.

He told you that the United States and the Muslim world needed, quote, “a new beginning,” end of quote.

In falsely seeing ourselves as a force for what ails the Middle East, we were timid in asserting ourselves when the times – and our partners – demanded it. We grossly underestimated the tenacity and viciousness of radical Islamism, a debauched strain of the faith that seeks to upend every other form of worship or governance. ISIS drove to the outskirts of Baghdad as America hesitated. They… pillaged and murdered tens of thousands of innocents. They birthed a caliphate across Syria and Iraq and launched terror attacks that killed all across continents. - U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, in a speech at the American University in Cairo, Egypt, last week in which he excoriated the worldview that Obama spouted at that very spot in 2009

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Because of the government shutdown, the FDA has rolled back its food inspections. Or, as romaine lettuce put it: “I’m back, baby!”

I had a choice: do we have no food for you because we have a shutdown, or do we give you some little quick salads that the first lady will make, along with the second lady, they’ll make some salads. And I said, you guys aren’t into salads. Or do I…send out for about 1,000 hamburgers? Big Macs. So we actually did that. - President Trump, while unveiling a fast food fest to the College Football Champion Clemson Tigers this past Monday

It seems to me like the president will not be happy until there is not one single female Republican voter in the country… He shouldn’t talk about the first lady in that way. We aren’t all here to make salads for men. - CNN analyst Joan Walsh

Of all the crazy things Trump said and did over the weekend, this might be the craziest. - Jimmy Kimmel

- Jimmy Fallon

A Texas woman was banned from Walmart after spending hours driving around in an electric scooter while drinking wine out of a Pringle’s can. Texas police had a lot of questions, including: “How did this not happen in Florida?” – Jimmy Fallon

We’ve become like a little family. We’ve bonded over the years. - Air traffic controller Patrick Harten who guided Capt. Chesley Sullenberger in landing the US Airways jet down in the Hudson River on January 15, 2009, reflecting on the relationship of the 155 passengers and himself, an “ honorary passenger”

Mr. President, is it possible you’re just projecting your favorite foods onto them? - Stephen Colbert, admonishing Trump for serving fast food

FACT CHECK: At two inches each, a thousand burgers would not reach one mile high. – The Washington Post “fact checking” President Trump’s “claim” that the 1,000 fast food hamburgers that he bought when College Football Champion Clemson visited this week were “piled a mile high”

Trump Has Turned the White House into a White Castle, President Roasted for Serving Clemson Fast Food. - Headline of an article in the Washington Post, which featured an article in 2014 about thenPres. Obama titled, “President Obama and cheeseburgers: A love story”

MORE QUOTES

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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If it were possible, would you subtract one day off your life and add it to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s life for one extra day of good health? If just 10,000 people did this, it would add 27 productive years to her life. - Roger Simon, formerly of The New York Times and Politico, responding to the news that liberal Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 85, was recently treated for cancer

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The thought of [Pres. Trump replacing Justice Ginsburg] drives them so crazy they are willing to trade the most priceless day of their life, the last day they would have to hold their wife and hug their children, to spite the Bad Orange Man… You almost have to feel sorry for people this miserable. Almost. – John Nolte, Breitbart

I’m sure that’s hysterical to the families of the murder victims the president just discussed. – Megyn Kelly, responding to a tweet by comedian Seth Myers mocking President Trump for talking about crimes committed by illegal aliens

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and his wife are splitting up. But on the bright side, he has a lot of extra boxes to pack his things in. – Jimmy Fallon

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Renovations Additions New Construction

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

My Israel Home

JANUARY 17, 2019

How To: Buy an Apartment on Paper Photo credit Gedaliah Borvick

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By Gedaliah Borvick

Recently completed Savyoney Arnona

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Based on reader requests, we are running a series of “how to” articles that focus on various aspects of purchasing a home in Israel.

e are involved in property sales throughout Israel, many of which are of existing homes. However, since demand for quality housing greatly outstrips supply, hundreds of our clients have purchased not-yet-built apartments, which is known as buying “on paper” or “off plan.” The goal of this article is to help you understand the process of buying on paper.

Three Construction Stages The construction process is comprised of the following three stages: Stage One: “Pre-Construction” is the stage before the developer receives the final building permit, and sales usually begin at this point. The initial plans will frequently be altered in the final building permit, which is often received after the first

The Royal Penthouse in the Meier-on-Rothschild Tower in Tel Aviv

contracts have been signed. However, a good attorney will insert a contract clause permitting the buyer to drop the deal and recoup their deposit if, in the final building permit, there are any material changes to the purchased unit. Despite this stage being fraught with many uncertainties, there are big advantages in buying early, including the opportunity to cut the best financial deals, choose the finest units, and revise the floor plans at no, or limited, additional cost. Stage Two: If you purchase an apartment “During Construction,” you might not have as much flexibility as “Pre-Construction.” Some developers will not allow changes after the plumbing, electric and walls have been installed, while others allow changes, subject to the purchaser covering the cost to tear down and then rebuild the space. Stage Three: If you buy “Towards Completion of Construction,” most developers will not allow changes

to the plans. Only after receiving the keys to your apartment will you hire a contractor to make any desired changes.

Types of Changes The three areas where one can make changes are in (1) the floor plans; (2) selecting finishes, such as tiles, kitchen cabinets and bathroom fixtures; and (3) completing the fine finishes, such as light fixtures. Floor Plans: If you purchase an apartment early in the construction process and want to make changes, in most cases you will need to hire a professional designer/architect who will receive construction plans from the builder, determine with you the best layout for your needs, and then draw wall division plans plus plumbing and electric plans. After approving the technical plans, the builder will give you a price quote. Most developers will not charge for making pre-construction changes unless you increase quantities, such as adding

doors or electrical outlets. Selecting Finishes: The builder will provide you with a list of suppliers and their contact information. Even if it is too late to make floor plan changes, buyers will usually be able to choose their finishes. You or your designer will contact the suppliers for all the items – including kitchen cabinets, flooring, air conditioners, and faucets – and schedule appointments in their showrooms to select the finishes. If you choose from the standard finishes that are offered, you will not incur any charges. Most purchasers, though, will upgrade their kitchens and possibly also the tiles and air conditioning system. If you upgrade any of the finishes, you will receive a credit for the standard items that you did not buy, which can be applied toward purchasing upgrades. The credit amount that you will receive is the developer’s actual cost, which is minuscule compared to its market value because the developer, who buys in

If you plan on renting out the apartment, you can disregard this section altogether, as your tenant will bring their own appliances, closets, and furniture.

ing on the developer, either make subsequent payments as the builder achieves construction milestones or make one large payment at the end. The unpaid portion of the purchase

Building Construction Index When buying on paper, you will make a down payment upon contract execution and then, depend-

price is subject to the building construction index, which has fluctuated from as low as under 1% per annum for most of the past half-decade to as high as 4% ten years ago. One can

Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home (www.myisraelhome.com), a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy and sell homes in Israel. To sign up for his monthly market updates, contact him at gborvick@ gmail.com.

JANUARY 17, 2019

There are big advantages in buying early, including the opportunity to cut the best financial deals, choose the finest units, and revise the floor plans at no, or limited, additional cost.

limit this risk by front-loading most of the payments, which is safeguarded by a bank guarantee – in essence, an insurance policy to protect you should the builder go bankrupt. Buying on paper can be a wonderful opportunity. Hopefully this article clarified the process and armed you with knowledge to help you make informed decisions. Disclaimer: The article above is for informational purposes only, and should not be used in place of using legal counsel and hiring professionals to carry out all due diligence, including reviewing all legal and planning issues, prior to purchasing an apartment.

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bulk, receives deep discounts. If you decide to hire a private carpenter and not use the developer’s kitchen cabinet suppliers, the builder can do all the electrical and plumbing preparations; however, for insurance and legal reasons, the kitchen will not be installed until after you receive the apartment. If one buys an apartment as an investment, we highly recommend choosing the standard items, as the upgraded finishes will not generate a significantly higher rent. Similarly, if one’s goal is to eventually use the apartment but to initially rent it out, we advise to buy the standard finishes and upgrade later, as tenants typically do not treat the unit with the same kid gloves as would an owner. Fine Finishes: The developer does not provide light fixtures, appliances, or bedroom closets. These items, plus other finishes such as furniture and window treatments, may only be delivered and installed after receiving the keys to your new apartment.

MAZEL TOV! Births

Engagements

• Ephraim Schecter and Shoshana Prengler • Kalman Sternbach and Raya Israilov • Tal Price and Penina Marsh

• Shoshana Miller and Shlomo Zalman Kaplan • Adina Ribakow and Chezky Kosman Submit your simcha announcement to Simchas@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

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• Lisa and Yosef Isenberg, Baby Boy • Rabbi and Mrs. Eli Scheller, Baby Boy • Chaim and Shoshana Chernoff, Baby Girl • David and Esti Klugman, Baby Girl • Mr. and Mrs Chaim Usher Fink, Baby Girl • Ayelet and Noah Pottash, Baby Girl • Kori and Zach Pomeranz, Baby Boy • Eli and Rivky Zryl, Twin Baby Girls • Rabbi Yaakov and Kayla Lasson, Baby Boy

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JANUARY 17, 2019

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I’m a 22-year-old young man who is first starting to date now. I felt I needed more time to mature before dating. What I’m saying is that I never felt like the most mature guy in the world.

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I am close to my rebbe who has taken on a mission, it seems, to encourage his bochurim to go out with older women. It seems to be his passion, something he’s taken on to help out the shidduch crisis. I count on him a lot to steer me in the right direction, and I also thought he would be someone who would actually bring me (and my parents) prospects to date. The fact is that the thought of going out with someone older than me feels so wrong! I know a few of my friends have tried it, some with success. But the thought of it makes me feel like I would be going out with an older sister. As it is, I never felt like the most mature guy in the room. I’m getting a lot of pressure right now to be open to it, see how it goes. But I’m having really strong reactions to the whole thing. I don’t want to let down my rebbe by not “getting with the program,” but my feelings are so powerful they are hard to ignore. Am I missing something? Is there something selfish or wrong with me that I’m not willing to help out the “shidduch crisis” by being more open to this idea? Honestly, I am feeling a little ashamed of myself.

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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at c i t y wi n ery d c

@vanessalynnvisions

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Host Your Simcha b e on e of t h e fi rst to experi en ce d câ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prem i er ev en t space. ba r / bat m i tzvah s | w eddi n gs | ev en ts co n tact ev en ts d c@ ci t yw i n ery. com c i t y w i nery. com / wash i n gton d c | 202.250,2521

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. he various initiatives that encourage young men to date when they are 21 if they’re ready and to date older young women are meant to help the shidduch crisis in our community. The statistics connected with single women being pushed out of the pool of daters are behind it. People and projects have promoted awareness of the importance of dating older girls. However, if you do not feel ready for it and you are uncomfortable, discuss it with your rebbe. Tell him your reasons and share the specifics of your discomfort. If your relationship is as close as it seems, he will understand when you say you don’t feel mature enough now and don’t want to date older girls. Your rebbe may feel a sense of mission about the shidduch crisis but as a mentor and guide he knows that everyone is different. And although we may have new awareness about community needs, shidduchim are an individual matter. It’s about each person and their makeup. Think about what you just did in this query. You asked the Navidaters’ panel to weigh in because you are hesitating to tell your mentor how you feel. Why couldn’t you do that on your own? Listening to yourself and being self-aware about your maturity is one level. Doing something about it is a second level. Lack of assertiveness might be one thing for you to explore. In what other areas do you feel lacking in maturity? What are you doing about it? Discuss this with your rebbe and ask for direction to help remedy this. You will feel more confident and competent after going for assistance and support. Help – whether from a dating coach, therapist, social skills expert – is an easy option. But you need to identify your weak areas honestly and share them with

your mentor and the person you work with. Communicate!

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. t’s a scourge, it’s a calamity, and it’s a tidal wave. I’m referring to the Shidduch Crisis – a contemporary issue, labeled about twenty years ago by Orthodox activists and their rabbis. The Crisis, which has sent shockwaves and panic throughout the Orthodox community, has been attributed to various factors, including the following two realities. First, the rapid population growth across the Orthodox, non-chassidish spectrum (estimated at 3% a year). And then there’s the age gap – the marriage-age differential that exists between the 19-year-old ready-to-date young woman and the 22.5-year old, fouryear-post-high-school yeshiva bochur who courageously enters the parsha. According to a more recent initiative/project – launched in 2011 by a handful of concerned rabbis working with actuaries – the “crisis” can be alleviated if guys dated earlier or were paired with older women. Evidently, your rebbe has wholeheartedly endorsed this initiative and is deploying his troops, his “bochurim,” to serve on the front lines. Can dating “older” eradicate a complicated, multi-factorial issue of crisis proportions? The jury’s still out. In the meantime, you are a statistic of One. As you enter the parsha, it’s your feelings, your choices, and your comfort level that transcend the needs of the greater good. Kudos to you for listening to your gut and not submitting to another’s pressure or “program,” no matter how well-intentioned. Should your rebbe continue to push his agenda, seek the guidance and support of

As a mental health professional within this society and culture, it is my duty to share that adolescence and marriage often don’t mix.

another rav who is more likely to respect your preferences in shidduchim. Rest assured, whomever you marry – whether she’s younger, older, in or out of the box – you will be doing your share to help relieve the Shidduch Crisis.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond ou begin your letter by talking about how you are not very sure of yourself from a maturity perspective. You then reiterate later on in your letter that you “have never been the most mature.” To be honest, my first reaction to your letter is that this whole quandary has been staged by someone who believes guys should not be dating at a young age because they can’t think for themselves. Despite my initial intuition, I will respond in the rare case that this is an actual conundrum. My question to you is, are you even ready to date altogether? Do you feel mature enough to take on the role of being a husband/provider/ father? You do realize that getting married is a huge responsibility, right? If the answer is no, and you’ve been pressured to start dating altogether, take a step back and only begin when you feel mature enough to take on these important roles. If you do feel mature enough to get married, however, and don’t feel ready to date older women yet, you may read on. Your rebbe should not put pressure on you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. I understand you are close, but someone else’s agenda should not be pushed on you. To me, that indicates an unhealthy relationship. There are many men who believe that age is just a number and are happy to date a woman who is older. I truly be-

lieve age is just a number as well, but this is your decision. Be assertive and confident about what you are looking for; you will be taken more seriously in general.

The Single Tova Wein think it takes a certain amount of maturity and confidence to even consider dating, and I’m wondering whether you presently have reached either of those milestones. Your letter sounds kind of immature, and worse, you sound as though you don’t feel as though your voice matters at all and despite your feelings you are allowing your rebbe to tell you what is best for you, even though it feels all wrong. I would suggest you first think about whether or not dating at this age is right for you. I’m sure many of your friends have started already, but many 22-year-old young men are simply not ready, and you should be true to yourself and decide whether this is something you

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

to determine whether dating an older woman is an option for you. No one could or should tell you what the correct decision should

Pulling It All Together

wonderful. Whether it’s the result of two mature people, or one “go with the flow” spouse, or a bit of mazal…I don’t have the magic formula. But sometimes, the truth is (if we are being honest with ourselves), adolescence and marriage are a bad shidduch. If you don’t feel ready to date, please do some soul searching and consider that not all men and women are ready to make the biggest and most significant commitment of their lives at 22 years old. Once you walk down that aisle and you close the door, your rebbe will not be there. It will be your life, with your wife, regardless of her age. I have a two-step plan for you, my friend. Step one: figure out what you want. Figure out if you’re ready for any of this. And remember, its really OK if you aren’t ready. The last thing any woman (or children) need is a husband/father who wasn’t ready. And you don’t want that either. Be true to yourself. Step two: speak with your rebbe from a mature, respectful and open place. Share with him whatever it is that you will have learned about yourself. See if he is respectful of where you are at and supports you at this very moment in your life. If your rebbe pushes you in a direction you are not comfortable with, listen to what your intuition tells you. I am so glad you wrote in, and I wish you all the best. It is my hope that if there are other young readers

out there who don’t feel ready to get married, or are feeling pressured into dating someone of a certain age, that they were given some validation. It is also my hope that if there are parents out there reading this, and they either see their child is not ready or their child has told them they are not ready, that they can breathe a small sigh of relief knowing that this is normal and at least developmentally appropriate. It is never a good idea to be forced into dating and marriage. Let’s all take a collective breath (inhale five seconds through the nose, exhale seven seconds through the mouth) and let go of the “I have to’s,” “she must’s” and “he should be’s.” Ta-ta shame! Sayonara pressure! Hello intuition and selfworth! Here’s to finding the right person in the right time! B’shaah tova to all. All the best, Jennifer

The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

o be completely honest, I am having a very uncomfortable and squeamish reaction to what may be “groupthink.” Here is the definition of groupthink from Google’s dictionary. group·think noun NORTH AMERICAN the practice of thinking or making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility. The other possibility that crosses my mind is that this is not a groupthink situation, but a reflection of your discomfort with speaking your mind to your rebbe, or maybe you genuinely do not know what you want. There is nothing wrong with an initiative to date older singles in an attempt to alleviate the shidduch crisis. It’s actually noble and not a bad idea, for the men and women who are open to it. It seems as though your rebbe may not be not attuned to your needs. If you’ve shared your concerns, and he is pushing you in a certain direction, I don’t think that’s OK. The following is meant for you and everyone out there reading this. If you are dating, and know in your gut that someone is not for you, do not ignore that intuition. If you do, you will most likely wind

up on a therapist’s couch in marital therapy or in individual therapy, trying to fi x something that at its core does not work well. Why spend a lifetime forcing a square into a circle? Another point I’d like to address is how very young you are. I’m not sure you’re ready to date because this is something you want and you feel ready for. And you know what? That would be OK! You’re only 22. According to HealthyChildren. org, the age range for male adolescence can stretch into their twenties! As a society and a culture, we marry young, and I respect hashkafic values. As a mental health professional within this society and culture, it is my duty to share that adolescence and marriage often don’t mix. Adolescence is a time of self-discovery, which can even give off the flavor of selfishness, which it isn’t. It’s hard work figuring yourself out, and oftentimes there is no room for others in that process. Marriage, on the other hand, is a time of giving of self. It is a time of constantly thinking about another person: her needs, her desires, what she wants to do, how she is feeling, and making that other person a priority. Sometimes these two stages can blend harmoniously, and that is

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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It’s your feelings, your choices, and your comfort level that transcends the needs of the greater good.

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be. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with dating an older woman. It’s becoming more popular, and that’s great! But everyone is different, and it important to listen to your own heart. If your heart tells you it’s not a comfortable reality, then you must respect yourself enough to just say “no.”

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are ready to dip your toe into right now. When dating is right for you, you should feel absolutely entitled

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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JANUARY 17, 2019

More than a Three-Ring Circus

ISRAEL’S UPCOMING ELECTIONS BY TZVI LEV

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“When

you turn an election into a three-ring circus, there’s always a chance that the dancing bear will win.” Reportedly coined by the American historian Nancy Isenberg, this quote is an apt description of the chaotic nature of Israel’s political system. Unlike the two-party system which is in the norm in the United States, Israel’s political scene consists of ten or eleven different factions vying for the support of the voters. The plurality of political parties is seen as a major reason as to why Israeli elections are so divisive. Ever since the modern State of Israel first headed to the polls in 1949, its elections have been characterized by mudslinging, personal attacks, fearmongering about the other side, and extreme rhetoric. While nominating oneself in the U.S. is referred to as “throwing your hat into the ring,” the equivalent expression amongst Israelis is “jumping into the mud.” A lot of mud is indeed expected to be hurled until April 9, 2019, the day that Israelis will head to the polls to choose their 21st government. The governing coalition’s faction leaders had recently announced on December 24th that they had decided to dissolve the Knesset and head to early

elections. While the Knesset dispersed itself officially only as of late, the government had essentially dissolved back in early November, when Yisrael Beytenu leader Avigdor Liberman suddenly resigned as defense minister and pulled his faction out of the government. The Knesset requires a governing coalition to have a minimum of 61 lawmakers in parliament. Following Liberman’s departure, the coalition retained exactly 61 MKs, enabling any rogue legislator to hold the entire government hostage and making effective governing impossible. What ultimately trigged the government’s downfall, however, was the looming deadline to pass the charedi enlistment bill. In 2017, the Supreme Court ruled that a previous law exempting charedi yeshiva students from the IDF draft was unconstitutional and gave the government a year to pass a new law. The deadline has been extended several times as bickering factions in the coalition refused to support it. With the final January 15th deadline looming, the coalition could not scrounge up the necessary votes to pass a revised enlistment bill, all but ensuring that the government would meet an early end. “We can’t govern like this,” Coalition Chairman David Amsalem complained to Prime Minister Ne-

tanyahu during a meeting of Likud lawmakers. “If that’s the case, we’ll go to elections,” responded the premier.

Bibi: Shaky or Strong? The upcoming elections are widely seen as a referendum on Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The man who has led Israel for the last decade finds himself in increasingly dire legal jeopardy, as police have recommended that he stand trial in three separate corruption investigations. In the corruption probe nicknamed Case 1000, Netanyahu is accused of accepting lavish gifts from billionaires Arnon Milchan and James Packer. Police say that the gifts, which included expensive champagne, jewelry, and cigars, constituted bribery in exchange for Netanyahu promoting legislation favorable to moguls’ interests. Netanyahu maintains that the items were strictly gestures of goodwill, pointing to the fact that the gifts began even before he returned to the Prime Minister’s Residence in 2008, following an absence of around a decade. The other two investigations deal with Netanyahu’s efforts to increase his control over the media. In Case 2000, authorities say that the prime minister hatched a deal with the publisher of the major newspaper Yediot Aharonot to shut-

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

SURVEYS TAKEN THROUGHOUT THE WEEK FOLLOWING THE DRAMATIC PRESS CONFERENCE SHOWED HAYAMIN HACHADASH RANGING FROM AS LOW AS FOUR SEATS TO A HIGH OF 14 SHOULD ELECTIONS TAKE PLACE NOW. as four seats to a high of 14 should elections take place now. Meanwhile, the Jewish Home party appears to be struggling to find its footing, and is predicted to not pass the electoral threshold in various polls. Bennett’s decision to leave the Jewish Home comes after years of attempting to make the party palatable to the wider Israeli public. With the par-

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On the right, the Jewish Home is now struggling to avoid an electoral bloodbath after its now-former leader Naftali Bennett and Justice Minister Ayelet Shaked suddenly jumped ship to found their own party. With no warning, the aforementioned pair announced last week that they would be launching their own faction titled “HaYamin Hachadash,” or the “New Right.” Bennett said that the party would “be a partnership between the secular and religious public for the sake of Israel” and would

provide a legitimate alternative to Likud, a party he accused of “implementing center-left policies.” It’s still too early to tell what effect Bennett’s shock departure will have. For now, the polls are all over the place; surveys taken throughout the week following the dramatic press conference showed HaYamin Hachadash ranging from as low

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A Right Referendum?

Prime Minister Netanyahu

ty having traditionally represented the Religious Zionist community, Bennett fought to add more secular candidates that would soften the Jewish Home’s sectoral image. Bennett’s efforts received significant pushback from officials within the Jewish Home, who accused him of diluting the party’s religious identity in his quest to become prime minister. In the previous elections in 2015, Bennett was humiliated after nominating a secular soccer player Eli Ohana to the party electoral slate. The ensuring outcry from the party’s rabbis was so strong that Bennett was forced to drop the nomination within a day. In general, Bennett has made some questionable moves that have caused many to wonder if he’s ready for the big leagues. In 2012, Bennett burst onto the political scene seemingly out of nowhere, taking over the failing Jewish Home faction and tripling its Knesset representation within one year. Since then, however, he has languished. Despite Bennett’s open ambitions to succeed Netanyahu as Israel’s leader, the vast majority of the public refuses to support him, with only 9% of Israelis professing to want Bennett as prime minister in a recent poll. Following Liberman’s resignation last month, Bennett publicly vowed to topple the government if he didn’t receive the next nomination as Defense Minister. Yet Bennett backed down from his ultimatum after Netanyahu accused him of “toppling a right-wing government during an especially sensitive security situation,” only to watch helplessly when Netanyahu dissolved the coalition on his own accord three weeks later. Another party on the right facing significant electoral challenges is Yisrael Beytenu. Avigdor Liberman’s party was once a threat to be reckoned with, reaching a height of 15 seats in the 2008 elections. Yet racked by a massive corruption scandal that saw three ministers receive jail time, and with its Russian-speaking constituency integrating into mainstream Israeli society, Yisrael Beytenu has dropped to only five Knesset seats. The role of defense minister is often seen as a stepping stone on the path to becoming prime minister, as politicos utilize the prominent position to show the public that they can protect the country against its numerous security challenges. Despite serving as defense minister from 2016 until this past November, however, Liberman not only failed to gain traction but watched as his party collapsed to barely graze the electoral threshold. A similar scenario faces Shas. A party representing Sephardic charedim, Shas’ collapse from the 17 seats it earned in 1999 has been blamed on several factors, including the passing of founder and Sephardic Torah luminary Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef, zt”l, and the criminal investigation of leader Aryeh Deri. Police have already recommended that Deri stand trial for a slew of offenses, including fraud, breach of trust, and multiple tax offenses.

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ter competing daily Yisrael Hayom in exchange for glowing media coverage. Part of the evidence police have collected includes recordings in which Netanyahu and Yediot Aharonot publisher Arnon (Noni) Mozes can be heard openly negotiating the illicit deal. Meanwhile, Case 4000 revolves around allegations that Netanyahu promoted regulatory moves that provided a financial windfall for Bezeq telecommunications giant owner Saul Elovitch in exchange for favorable coverage on the Walla! News website, which Elovitch owns as well. As a serving prime minister, Netanyahu cannot be brought to trial without the recommendation of Attorney General Avichai Mandelblit. As April 9th creeps closer, Israel is abuzz over the possibility that Mandelblit will indict Netanyahu before election day. Traditionally, government ministers were forced to resign upon receiving an indictment, a precedent which toppled former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert in 2007. Due to a loophole, however, the law’s wording speaks only about regular ministers and is unclear regarding a serving prime minister under indictment. “There’s no similar determination with regard to the prime minister, and it can be argued both ways whether it applies to the prime minister,” legal expert Professor Menachem Kremnitzer told the Times of Israel. Regarding the investigations, which Netanyahu has dubbed a “Bolshevik witch-hunt,” the premier has repeatedly attacked the police for coordinating a “rigged investigation” whose purpose he claims is to “topple a right-wing government via undemocratic means.” According to Netanyahu confidants, the premier says that he will not resign even if he is indicted and that he is willing to face a circus-like criminal trial while serving as Israel’s top elected official. Netanyahu’s legal troubles aside, his ruling Likud party is in its best electoral shape in decades. With polls consistently estimating that Likud will win 30 Knesset seats, the party would be a clear shoo-in to form the next government should elections be held today. The Likud also enjoys a lack of competition, as factions on the left and right alike devour themselves in the fight for ideological purity.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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two sides agreed to run together this time around, but observers predict that it’s only a matter of time until the agreement falls apart.

All of the aforementioned factors have caused the once-mighty Shas to hover around the electoral threshold of 3.25%, a decline unprecedented in Israeli political history. Facing extinction, Shas’ rabbis are frantically searching for a way to reverse the slide, including floating a possible joint run with former party leader Eli Yishai, a sworn adversary of Aryeh Deri. Things are no more optimistic for United Torah Judaism (UTJ), the faction that represents Hassidic and Lithuanian charedim. UTJ is a joint electoral slate comprised of the chassidic Agudat Yisrael and the Lithuanian Degel Hatorah, a list created in 1988 by Rabbi Elazar Shach, zt”l. Degel Hatorah and Agudat Yisrael first ran together in 1992 and have not always seen eye-to-eye; the two had parted ways in 2004 before returning to a joint party two years later. Yet veteran observers of the charedi community are hard-pressed to recall a similar case of infighting that now threatens UTJ’s future. Ever since the passing of Rabbi Aryeh Leib Steinman, zt”l, who was seen as the unquestioned leader of the charedi world, UTJ has been suffering from a leadership vacuum that has deteriorated into a power struggle. With the political battle between the chassidim and the Lithuanian charedim escalating, the two factions already endorsed different candidates in October’s municipal elections, a previously unthinkable departure from the charedi community’s monolithic voting patterns. The lack of unity led to charedim losing control of Bet Shemesh and the failure to pass the enlistment bill, as Agudat Yisrael refused to support legislation that even acknowledged the possibility of yeshiva students being required to draft. With relations at a nadir, UTJ faced an uncertain future, as both Agudat Yisrael and Degel Hatorah threatened to dissolve the partnership and run independently. After feverish negotiations, the

Meanwhile, the left will pay for the problems facing Shas and UTJ. After being in power for Israel’s first 27 years, the once-mighty Labor faction now faces a nightmarish scenario of dropping to the single digits. Currently known as the Zionist Union, polls show it hovering around seven Knesset seats, an unprecedented fall from the 24 seats it collected in the previous round back in 2015. The Zionist Union’s dwindling fortunes can be chalked up to its leadership – or lack of it. Made up of a partnership between Tzipi Livni’s Hatnuah party and Labor, the Zionist Union almost beat Netanyahu’s Likud in 2015 and remains the largest opposition party. Since its resurgence in 2015 and today, the Zionist Union underwent a series of changes that made the once-fruitful political partnership a thing of the past. The biggest of the said changes was the appointment of former Zionist Union leader Isaac Herzog to head the Jewish Agency. Herzog’s subsequent resignation from the Knesset in order to take the plum job meant that Zionist Union leader Avi Gabbay needed to find someone to replace Herzog as opposition leader. Since he is not a sitting MK, Gabbay could not choose himself and was forced to choose Livni after she threatened to bolt the Zionist Union and cause the partnership to dissolve should she not lead the opposition. Instead of thanking Gabbay, Livni subverted his authority at every opportunity. Gabbay’s fury grew as Livni tried to form a left-wing bloc that would not be headed by Gabbay and made it clear that she didn’t respect his leadership. Finally, he had enough. In what many call the most revolting move they’ve ever seen in Israeli politics, Gabbay sum-

moned Livni for what was an ostensibly routine faction meeting and summarily fired her before the cameras. Livni had no idea what was coming. As the cameras rolled, Gabbay told the shellshocked Livni that he was dissolving the Zionist Union and, with a cynical smile, wished her luck “on whatever party you may find yourself in,” a clear jab at the five parties Livni has been part of in her 18 years in politics. “I had hoped and believed that the new partnership would lead to our joint growth, to a real connection, and to mutual support. But the smart public has seen that this is not the case, and has drawn away,” Gabbay told the stunned Livni. Gabbay exhibited a non-insignificant amount of manipulation in the days prior to his announcement that he would depose Livni. To prevent her from guessing what awaited her, he scheduled a meeting with her for the next day after his press conference “to discuss our cooperation in the upcoming elections.” Gabbay also did not consult his own party before announcing that the treaty with Livni was over and even wrote his speech by hand to prevent the news from leaking. Now, Livni is attempting to relaunch her Hatnuah party. In the meantime, her faction fails to cross the electoral threshold in almost every single survey. Livni’s departure doesn’t mean that Labor now enjoys stable leadership. If the biblical spies disparaged the holy land as “one that eats its inhabitants,” the Labor Party unquestionably devours its own leaders. Since 2000, Labor has cycled through 11 different leaders. By contrast, Likud is an island of stability that has only had four leaders since its founding in 1973. In an effort to break the dismal cycle, the Zionist Union had elected Avi Gabbay as its chairman in July 2017. A former CEO of Bezeq and environmental protection minister for the outgoing government as part of the Kulanu faction, the Moroc-

Benny Gantz

Avi Gabbay

Moshe Kahlon

Shuffling on the Left

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

The

plurality of parties has been making the current elections among the most chaotic Israel has ever had. With Barak, Livni, Gabbay, Lapid, Kahlon, Ya’alon, Gantz, and, of course, Netanyahu, Israelis have a wide buffet of candidates to choose from. If the previous elections in 2015 were marked by divisive rhetoric between the right and left, the current race is characterized by a head-spinning number of factions who all claim to be representing the center. Perhaps it’s going to be more than a three-ring circus.

Moshe Ya’alon

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Tzipi Livni

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Yair Lapid

Turning Towards the Center

to become IDF Chief of Staff. The quiet and dignified officer has led to hopes among the left that the security bona fides he brings to the table can draw in votes from the center and allow them to finally send Netanyahu packing. Curiously, Gantz has maintained radio silence since announcing in late December that he would enter the political arena. While every politician is running to different television studios, Gantz remains tight-lipped, leading to a bizarre phenomenon of Gantz consistently rising in the polls despite not a single member of the public knowing his true political stance. “Gantz spoke more during the commando missions he led behind enemy lines back in his army days,” joked a Knesset member last month. Despite his strategic reticence, Gantz’s Hosen L’Yisrael party now stands at 15 seats, second to only Likud. More importantly, 29% of the public wants Gantz to be prime minister, only six points behind Netanyahu himself. Gantz has been holding marathon talks with recruit fellow ex-IDF Chief of Staff Moshe “Bogie” Ya’alon. A former defense minister for Likud, Ya’alon quit the government in a huff after an ugly falling-out with Netanyahu in 2016 and has been planning his comeback ever since.

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Other than the bickering between the aforementioned politicos over who would be the bloc’s prime minister, the arrangement faces other challenges as well. In 2019 Israel, no politician wants to be tarred as a “leftist.” With surveys consistently showing that only 8% of Israeli citizens identi-

fy as leftists, every party save for Meretz and the Joint Arab List seems to be in a mad dash to the center. Take Yair Lapid for example. The telegenic and charismatic leader of Yesh Atid, Lapid has come in second place behind the Likud, albeit a far second, in every single poll since 2017. Watching as Netanyahu’s legal woes pile up, Lapid sees April 9th as the date in which he will finally actualize his dream: becoming Israel’s tenth prime minister. Crucial to this effort is shedding his left-wing image. As such, Lapid has ruled out any chance of joining a left-wing list, preferring to hedge his bets on his party and the iron fisted-control he exercises over it than a large and unwieldly coalition filled with his bickering counterparts. “We are number two in the polls today, and the only ones who threaten the Likud’s rule. We are also not thought as absolute leftist like Livni or Labor,” said Lapid in early December. “To join the Zionist Union is like putting a healthy head into a sickbed.” Lapid’s confidence aside, the battle for the centrist vote is getting increasingly competitive. Lapid needs to trounce Finance Minister Moshe Kahlon, the leader of the Kulanu faction whose platform is virtually identical to Yesh Atid’s. Both promise to lower the cost of living, including the ever-rising housing prices that make owning a home for young couples the stuff of science fiction. Lapid had already been victimized before – in 2015 – when Kulanu caused Yesh Atid to drop from 19 seats to the 10 it currently holds. Yet with the cost of living creeping higher and a ballooning national debt thanks to Kahlon’s populist economic policies, Lapid’s biggest challenge isn’t from the Kulanu leader but from former generals Ya’alon and Gantz. Benny Gantz is admired by wide swaths of Israelis for rising through the ranks of the military

can-born Gabbay came out of nowhere to swipe the position. Defeating a crowded field, Gabbay’s surprise victory caused exuberant party members to compare him to Donald Trump, a successful yet politically inexperienced CEO who blew past talented rivals to rise to the top in the United States presidential elections. Born in an immigrant tent camp, Gabbay was expected to feast on Likud’s traditional Sephardic electoral base and sweep Labor back into power. That was then. Barely under 18 months since taking power, Gabbay’s dismal management skills have sparked a full-on internal revolt, with lawmakers openly debating whether to break off and create a new political party. As his party collapses around him, Gabbay maintains that he will win the elections outright, something that has not occurred since Ehud Barak beat Netanyahu in 1999. The same Barak is now attempting to coordinate a merger of all the center-left blocs to create what he calls the “Israeli Democratic Party” that can finally eject Netanyahu from his firm grip on power. The proposed list would include former IDF Chief of Staffs Benny Gantz and Moshe “Bogie” Ya’alon, Zionist Union Deputy Leader Tzipi Livni, and the extreme leftwing Meretz. “The only way is to replace the prime minister is by creating a bloc that includes Tzipi [Livni], [Benny] Ganz, Bogie [Ya’alon], [Avi] Gabbay, Dan Meridor and, if there is a need, then me as well,” said Barak in a radio interview last week. “We need a bloc in order to bring about the change.”

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Kupat Ha’ir Areivim Dinner To Honor And Acknowledge The Weiner Family

Highlights of the Areivim dinner to honor and acknowledge the Weiner family, who established the “Weiner fund” Leilu Nishmas their beloved son Moshe Yida a’h, to benefit the orphans and surviving spouses in our community Friends and family gathered together recently at Ateres Chana Malka Hall in Boro Park for the Areivim dinner to commemorate the establishment of the “Weiner Fund” in memory of R’ Moshe Yida Weiner a”h. The fund was created by his father, R’ Hershel Weiner in memory of his beloved son. As those present listened with tear filled eyes, R’ Hershel declared passionately, “When the day of reckoning comes, I want to be able to tell my son R’ Moshe Yehuda that his memory lived on in the thousands of orphans that were helped in his zechus”. The tragic passing of R’ Moshe Yehuda, in a horrific car accident two years ago on Rosh Chodesh Kislev, left his nearest and dearest as well as the community at large shocked and distraught. During the shiva, his father, R’ Hershel seeking a way to channel his grief into something tangible and memorable, undertook to ease the plight of hundreds of orphans and spouses by spearheading an initiative to greatly expand the work of Areivim. Areivim is an organization that pays hundreds of thousands of dollars to the surviving spouse and children left behind when the father or mother is tragically taken. To this end, and with the assistance of family and friends, R’Hershel established a new fund aptly named “‫(ימ‬which is the initials of Moshe Yida) ‫ ”ברע‬which is to say that this fund is a guarantor for the needy and also an ‫ ברע‬for the neshama of the beloved R’ Moshe Yida a”h. This new fund has so far brought almost 1,500 new members into the Areivim network, enabling hundreds

of orphans to benefit from it. During the ten years since its inception, the Areivim project has preserved the dignity of thousands via its autonomous collection method. Its members pay just $7.00 per orphan, which comes to millions of dollars paid out in total. The beauty of Areivim lies in its simplicity. All monies collected go directly to the orphans, thus eliminating the need for expensive fundraising initiatives allowing for the maximum amount to reach its intended destination. In addition, the anonymity precludes the need for any direct solicitations, preserving the dignity of the yesomim and remaining parent who are already in so much pain and misery. The establishment of this new fund, gave Areivim the ability to increase its reach and scope even further, expanding its safety net for thousands more. The evening was well attended by those close to the Weiner family. The ambiance was elegant and the entire event beautifully appointed, with delicious food and a kumzitz with the renowned “Ari Hill”. Some of the venerable people in attendance included board members: R’ Daniel Geldzehler, Rosh HaYeshiva Ohr Yisroel, The Galanter Rav, and R’ Binyamin Zev Landau shlita Dayan of Tosch. Many other marbitzei Torah and community activists were present as well. The board of Arevim also includes R’ Elya Brudny shlita, Rosh HaYeshivas Mir and R’ Henoch Shacher, Rav D’Khal Ohr Tovia. The main speaker at the event, R’

Meir Mordcha Berkowitz, mesmerized the audience as he related the history of Areivim, emphasizing how, since its inception, Areivim has literally saved the lives of countless orphans to the tune of twenty million dollars!! Specifically, since the inception of the new ‫ ברע ימ‬fund Areivim was able to greatly expand its sphere of influence and help. He went on to praise Areivim, and its very effective system, contrasting it to a campaign undertaken in his hometown of Monsey, NY. In that case, money needed to be raised for orphans after a series of tragedies, and the difficulty as well as shame that inevitably came along with more conventional fund-raising campaigns highlighted the need for an organization such as Areivim. Areivim helps so many families in such a discreet and honorable fashion and keeps its expenses to a minimum enabling all the money to go directly to help those it is intended for. R’ Meir Mordcha then went on to recall that sadly unforgettable Thursday when family, friends and all of Klal Yisroel were hit with the news of the tragic accident that took the life of the beloved R’ Moshe Yida Weiner z”l. R’ Moshe Yida was a person with a huge heart, himself a tremendous baal chesed as well as a person of perpetual good cheer who greeted everyone with a smile and was filled with energy and zest for life. Remarkably, his father, R’ Hershel, did not allow this tragedy to cloud his vision. From the depths of his sorrow, his overriding thought was, “how can we perpetuate the beautiful middos of

my beloved son? What can we do to honor his memory?”. And out of this tragedy was established a fund that would bring relief to those touched by tragedy as well. Friends and family rallied together in honor of their beloved Moshe Yidel a”h, eager to take part in this very special venture that would bring joy to the pure soul of one who brought such joy during his very short life. R’ Berkowitz ended with a heartfelt plea to Hakodosh Baruch Hu that this very special family, the Weiner family, know no more pain and sorrow, only simcha and joy. Areivim presented Mr. Weiner with a plaque in acknowledgement of the tremendous act of chessed he initiated and continues to support. The crowd was next honored to hear from the esteemed R’ Binyamin Zev Landau shlit”a, who, despite his being heavily involved in Bikur Cholim, specifically helping the sick navigate the very complex medical system, has the highest regards for Areivim, specifically the honest and straightforward way Areivim is run, with all of the money going directly to the needy. In fact, in the last 7 years, the average cost to each member was, on average, only $160.00, generating about $20,000,000.00 in tzedakah which went directly to the families of the deceased. R’ Landau raised the very obvious concern, that one of the requirements to join Areivim is that members must be declared healthy and well. He encouraged everyone to join while they are young and healthy, to avoid the frustration of being turned away once its too late. The evening left a deep impression on all those present, garnering their pledge to continue supporting a cause that helps so many, so directly and unassumingly. By partnering with Areivim, you are partnering with Hakodosh Baruch Hu by helping and giving to his beloved children.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

Children of Divorce By Hylton I. Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

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The Nearly Forgotten

JANUARY 17, 2019

critically important social unit. In addition to unifying people through marriage and blood or adoption, the family provides the educational, financial and emotional support that its members need to thrive and optimize their potential and development. Because divorce is ever-present and growing, people question whether having a family is a worthwhile goal. This is called cynicism, and cynicism is not a pretty thing. It can grow deep roots and cast a long arm that shadows many generations into the future. This is worth repeating: cynicism is ugly and dangerous. Our continuity as Jews is intertwined with the weltanschauung that a Jewish man and a Jewish woman meet, marry, build a Jewish home and community and have children, and then instill within those children the very same weltanschauung. Since the revelation at Har Sinai, our Torah has been handed down from generation to generation through the family unit. It’s an extricable part of what makes us tick. While there is so much to be discussed about divorce, the focus now is about children, the nearly forgotten victims of this epidemic.

Let’s be clear from the outset that many divorced parents are doing a yeoman’s job of trying to raise whole, healthy children. I am in awe of them. But even the ones doing the best still need our attention and support. And no judgment. Ever. First, we need to remember that it is the children who need to be at the center. Everything must be done to protect them from their parents’ unhappiness rather than being involved in it. Respect this truth please: children do not get divorced from their parents. For Yaakov, Daddy will always be Daddy and Ema will always be Ema. There are no replacements. Period. Even if a parent is “out of the picture,” that parent is still very much in the child’s mind and is often “bigger” in their head than the hands-on, ever-present parent. This needs to be accepted and addressed. By the way, the primary care-giving parents will be the target of the child’s ire for a while. In most cases, children will identify with the same-gender parent. This identification is natural and constitutes an important building block of a child’s personality. Regardless of whether parents are divorced, daugh-

ters identify with their mothers and sons will identify with their fathers. It’s important to keep this in mind when, for example, a child hears one parent say, “You eat like your father” and then he sees that parent roll her eyes. Another example is a parent saying, “If you keep being like your mother, you’ll never get anywhere in life.” These kinds of comments can negatively impact a child’s natural development whereby the child’s mental and emotional growth can become mired and stuck. It’s not a good place to go and can take years of therapy to undo the damage. Further, divorce can create “gaps” in the family structure and in the lives of each parent. Many children come to these gaps like bees flock to honey in order to fill them. A child may try to solve his parent’s loneliness. Sons may try to discipline younger siblings like Daddy. Daughters might become their fathers’ companions. Never should the gap-plugging take precedence over the child’s personal development. If it does, pull the plug. And fast. What do you do when, in the aftermath of the divorce, a child has two homes and divided loyalties? It is not uncommon for children of

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mother once said to me, “I made two smart decisions in my life, Dr. Lightman. The first was to get married and the second was to divorce. At least I have three beautiful children.” Indeed, her children are beautiful, inside and out. But there will be struggles. With their childhoods compromised – let’s admit that “friendly divorces” are pretty much an oxymoron – we should be concerned. Divorce is rampant. According to the National Marriage project, the divorce rate has doubled between 1960 and 2009. Yes, divorce can save people from a bad marriage. However, research shows that divorce can also pick away at a society. Divorced adults are more likely to experience economic difficulties and depression which then trickle down to kids. Because there can be fewer economic resources, many children of divorce experience disruptions such as changes in child care, living arrangements and schools. School performance? Yes, it is often compromised. The bottom line: turmoil for an unforeseeable amount of time. And potential emotional neglect. Divorce dissolves families and weakens the belief in the family as a

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divorced parents to become involved in a “triangle.” The triangle occurs when a third person is brought into a one-on-one relationship. The third person becomes the “go-between” who is in the middle of the two people who should be dealing directly with one another. Children of divorce often become the “go-between” for their parents as they try to bridge the gap. Parents may place them there as they try to pump for information when a child returns from spending time with the other parent. Strong one-on-one relationships is the best antidote for post-divorce family functioning. It’s easy for a divorced parent to confuse his concerns with his children’s concerns. Please don’t. When you think that you are feeling concern for your children, don’t rush into any action. Stop, pause, breathe deeply and ask yourself, “Am I projecting my own issues onto this fabulous child?” Deal with your feelings first. Give your feelings names. Only then can you help your children if they are really feeling those feelings. Some divorced parents go way overboard in becoming either too soft or too hard on their children. In other words, some parents become the “fun parent” where there is little, if any, discipline and boundaries. Others morph into this controlling entity, even when the child is with the “other parent.” Rather than “co-parenting,” these parents are “competitive parenting.” I’m not going to connect the dots here about the pointlessness of it and the negative impact on children. Let’s now discuss divorced parents and the useless emotion called “guilt.” Guilt can loom large here. Why? Most parents have a biological drive to protect their children from harm. We bring these magnificently beautiful, helpless tiny creatures into this world whom Hashem has entrusted to us to nurture and grow into amazing awesome people and, with Siyata D’Shmaya, we escort to the chuppah so they can do the same, thereby perpetuating the species and the Jewish people. It is how we survive. If we sense harm, it is the automatic reaction for most of us to protect our young ones. Think of the Mama Bear who wants to claw out the eyes of and dismember anyone who would wound or maim any of her young ones.

Divorce causes harm. The healing process can last a long time and the scars even longer. Some divorced parents fantasize about how life might have been different for their children (meaning less painful) had the marriage survived. No wonder guilt abounds amongst divorced parents. If you, Mom and Dad, see yourselves as being too soft or too hard, stop now. Get help, if needed. Seek counseling to better deal with whatever is driving this behavior. We are surrounded by information and professionals. Avail yourselves accordingly. Always have in mind that for chil-

Sister-to-Sister* weekend organized by the inimitable and indefatigable dynamic duo Rabbi David and Debbie Greenblatt, my wife and I heard directly from many divorced Jewish women what they and their children need. We agree that all children must have caring, loving, emotionally healthy adults in their lives. Yet don’t rush to assume that just because parents are divorced, these children are lacking in that area. Let’s say your child is friends with a child whose parents are divorced. Your interaction with the child and parents should be the same as it would be with others. If

Respect this truth please: children do not get divorced from their parents.

dren to thrive, they need to be physically, mentally and emotionally safe. The original family unit for children of divorce is gone. But don’t destroy your children as well. Put them ahead of whatever issues you have with your ex-spouse. Please. As tacky as you may think this is, make a list of 7-10 positive qualities or memories about your ex-spouse. Perhaps he writes well. She might have helped to design the parochet in a shul. The two of you had a fabulous trip to wherever with the kids. Speak nicely about your ex-spouse in front of your children, even if it is painful. Your children will appreciate it. Create new memories with your children. Make your house or apartment into a home. Tape pictures onto the refrigerator or freezer. Shabbos should be Shabbos, complete with a meal, a dvar Torah, and even some sibling fighting. That’s normal, by the way. We Jews, who have always excelled at community building, need to improve our community-building skills with divorced families. At the recent

you believe something is amiss, do not rush in to “fix” it. Observe respectfully and listen well. Know the facts. Develop a sense of whether the other Abba or Mommy wants input. Speak with their shul rabbi or perhaps a teacher or principal. No loshon hara. And do not disrespect the parents or children. Some communities have organizations that match adults with children who need mentoring. Mentors enhance parents by spending quality time with children. For example, our community is blessed with TOVA, a mentoring network whose staff screens the mentors and works with parents and schools to make sure there is the right “shidduch” for each child and mentor. If you believe that a child you know may benefit, contact the child’s school or family rav. Treat all children the same. Don’t make their children feel more different from other children than they already do. Not every child wants to go to shul or Father-Son learning with Mr. NextDoor Neighbor. Offer to do so, routing it through the mother and/or father. Accept whatever the answer is. Carpools. This is a big one, es-

pecially the non-school carpools for birthday parties and activities outside the school day. When only one parent is in the home and children cannot be left unattended, driving even 10 minutes can be a logistical challenge and impossible. Be mevater and drive a little bit extra. It will count up in heaven that you made the life of a single parent easier. Don’t even think about keeping a cheshbon. Just do it and thank Hashem that you can. Shabbos and yom tov meal invitations can be tricky. Some wish to stay home with the kids while others salivate to go out. People tend to be inundated with yom tov invitations but there are 52 Shabbosim throughout the calendar year and life can get lonely. Also, single parents may not have their children every Shabbos. That’s also an opportunity. If you invite a single parent, perhaps with the family, and the answer is no, don’t be offended. They could already have legitimate plans. Respond, “We’d love to have you. When would it work for you?” The single parent might invite you to their home. It may be a different Shabbos table than to what you are accustomed. Open yourself up to new experiences. Some people need to host regardless of marital status. Life is not simple. We marry, filled with hopes and dreams of our binyan adei ad. When it does not work, invest in making it work. And keep on trying. When you’ve exhausted every avenue to make the marriage work and it is not working, tread slowly and delicately. Always remember that the pairs of eyes watching every move and listening to every conversation and their nuances belong to your children. Take care of them. Please. As always, daven. Sister-to-Sister is the only women’s organization within the Jewish community that supports divorced women and their children.

Dr. Hylton I. Lightman is a pediatrician and Medical Director of Total Family Care of the 5 Towns and Rockaway PC. He can be reached at drlightman@totalfamilycaremd.com, on Instagram at Dr.Lightman_ or visit him on Facebook.

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Mental Health Corner

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Adolescence By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman and he was even caught stealing. Levi’s behavior is not typical adolescent behavior. Levi is suffering and needs help. An understanding of adolescence will help us understand why Shimon’s behavior is considered normal and Levi’s is not. The word adolescent is a Latin word that means “coming to maturity”. It is a bridge between childhood and adulthood. Adults are mature, responsible and goal oriented – or at least they are supposed to be – and are more or less on their own. Children, on the other hand, need the adults in their lives to guide them in order to maintain their safety and facilitate their growth and development. During adolescence, teens start to feel capable of being independent of their parents and to start making their own decisions, but in reality they are not totally there yet.

Shimon had always been a sweet and obedient child. However in the year following his bar mitzvah his behavior changed dramatically. He would not clean his room unless asked 10 times, he started liking very loud music, he started hanging out a lot with his friends, he would roll his eyes at his parents when they would try to assert their authority, and he started wearing clothing that was more on the “cool” side. Shimon does not have a mental health disorder. He “suffers” from adolescence. Levi had also always been a sweet and obedient child. He also started changing in the years after his bar mitzvah. He started acting abusively towards people that he did not get along with, he had a sense of sadness that seemed to not go away, he started hanging out with the wrong crowd,

Additionally, every human being wants to be a distinct and unique individual. During childhood, the identity of the child is enmeshed with that of the parents. During adolescence, the desire to separate from the parents kicks in, often with a vengeance, and subconsciously spurs the adolescent to act in ways that express their individuality. This process is known in psychology as individuation. It is for these reasons that it is normal for teens to disobey parental demands to do chores, roll their eyes at their parents, and desire to spend more time out of the house. Shimon’s behavior is therefore completely normal and developmentally appropriate. He is merely going through a phase, as it was once said that snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough. This does not mean that Shi-

mon’s parents should just watch passively. Parents play a very important role in the life of an adolescent and therefore they might need guidance to fine tune their parenting skills for this pivotal period in their child’s life. Levi’s behavior, on the other hand, is not merely an expression of his individuation. Something is going on inside Levi’s soul and professional intervention is likely necessary. The adolescent years are confusing for both parents and children. With some guidance and wisdom, this tumultuous period can be successfully navigated. This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp.org

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Tribe Tech Review

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Can Home Automation Improve Our Davening? By Dov Pavel

alone can be a sensory overload, having to view and swipe an alert during Shemona Esrei will surely ruin any focus and connection one is having with the Al-mighty. Taking a siddur is always the best idea to use for davening and is really the only option in a shul with shelves full of siddurim. When not in a shul, though, a habit I try to form when beginning Ashrei is to turn the phone to Do Not Disturb mode. Turning off your ringer alone will not stop the distracting notifications as Do Not Disturb mode can. There are settings you will need to consider when turning on this mode, and the options will depend on the phone and the version of the software you have. An alternative to the Do Not Disturb mode is to turn on Airplane mode. The second issue with phones and tefillah is forgetting to turn off your ringer when entering shul even when it is left in your pocket. My shul has a charging station in the lobby with compartments with locks and keys, so you can safely leave your phone outside of the shul and even charge it while you daven. Yet, it is all too common for someone’s phone to ring or chime during davening, disturbing the entire minyan. The last time this happened, I thought for a moment, Maybe this is a sign for me to pursue a simpler, less technological life. Then I realized the purpose of my

articles is to find ways to mold technology so that it is compatible with halacha and observant life. Thus, the idea for this column occurred to me. By then, I had taken three steps backwards and likely thought little of any of the words I was saying. Even if you turn your phone to vibrate, the vibrations are enough to disturb those around you. Of course, if you have made it a habit of turning your phone to Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode you can also turn off the sound and vibrations. However, wouldn’t it be nice if there was an automated way of silencing your phone whenever you enter shul? As your Orthodox Tech Journalist, I decided to research this possibility and update you as technology evolves. I believe I have two potential solutions for you: one if you are an Android phone user and another less robust solution if you are an iPhone user. For Android users, you may recall, my previous column discussed using the IFTTT (If This Than That) Platform to turn off motion on your camera. Another IFTTT recipe I created was to mute (including vibrations) your Android phone when entering a location. If you go to www. ifttt.com/p/tribetechreview you will see my growing list of IFTTT recipes for the Shomer Shabbat user. If you select the “Mute Android phone when entering shul,” you will be able

to tap on the map (not the address) and alter the location if my shul is not your default shul. You can also zoom in and out of the location to provide greater location accuracy. This can be important if you live very close to shul or pass nearby without entering. You will also need to enable the reverse recipe of turning the mode off when leaving shul if you want it to be truly seamless. This is a pretty clean solution. I have been testing it with some Beta users, and it seems to mostly work well but until you are confident that it is I suggest you double check your phone before entering Shul. Unfortunately, iPhone users will have to wait for the next column... So until then, stay tuned, and remember to manually turn off your phone before connecting to your Creator.

Dov Pavel is a tech enthusiast who reviews personal technology and home automation through the lens of a shomer Shabbos consumer. He is not affiliated with any of the companies whose products he reviews and the opinions he expresses are solely his own. Dov is not a halachic authority and readers should consult their own rabbi as needed. Dov lives in Teaneck with his wife and three children. Previous articles an be found at TribeTechReview.com. Follow @TribeTechReview on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.

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am usually the one who touts the benefits of technology within the confines of religious life. I point out how it can enhance your Shabbat and yom tov by turning on and off your lights. I research ways to use your gas fireplace on Friday nights to make your Shabbat a little warmer, and I will write about how you can listen to the Daf Yomi on the Amazon Echo. However, there is an area where technology may not be compatible with religious life: I am referring to, of course, having your phone turned on in shul. We all have a siddur app on our phones that is handy when we are not in shul. At the last wedding I attended, there was a large Mincha minyan with nearly everyone davening from their phones. I am sure Steve Jobs is smiling down from heaven as everyone davens to their phone. However, if Hashem is smiling at this is another question. The problem with using a phone during davening has two facets. The first is the potential distraction of others by having your phone ring or vibrate, disturbing the people around you. Secondly is the distraction it causes in your own tefillah even if it is not disturbing others. My phone is always vying for my attention. I have alerts for breaking news, stock movements, the weather, and the president’s tweets, just to mention a few. While these alerts

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JANUARY 17, 2019

Dirshu “Dirshu Ruined my Life!” Thousands of Lomdim led By Gedolei Yisroel Participate in Dirshu Convention By Chaim Gold “You ruined my life!!” he said, as he grabbed me by both arms. Those were the startling words that a Yid who met Rav Dovid Hofstedter told him to his face when he happened to meet him in the streets of Boro Park. “I don’t have a day, I don’t have a night, I don’t even have a minute to go to a simcha….” With a pure smile bathing his entire face, the Yid exclaimed, “On behalf of myself and my whole mishpacha, I don’t know how to thank you!” As Rav Hofstedter related this anecdote to a spellbound audience at the Grand Melava Malka Siyum there was virtually no member of the wider Mishpachas Dirshu who did not understand and identify with the message conveyed by this Yid from Boro Park. Rav Hofstedter eloquently explained, “Whatever previous lives we had, have been ruined because this, constant dedication to accountable, limud HaTorah and relentless hasmadah has become our lives!” The Grand Melava Malka, where throngs of Yidden joined the lomdei Dirshu who had spent Shabbos at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Stamford Connecticut, was the culmination of an unforgettable Shabbos led by Gedolei Yisroel. The overwhelming feeling throughout the Shabbos by lomdei Dirshu and their wives, was one of simcha, joy and ecstasy, thanking Hashem for a life permeated by ol Torah! HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Feivel Schustal, shlita, who spent Shabbos at the convention, gave a deep, intricate shiur klali after Shacharis on Shabbos morning. Before embarking on the sugya upon which the shiur was based, he expressed his profound feelings of awe, amazement and emotion. He explained that he felt unable to begin the shiur without first sharing his emotions with the assemblage. “I am hear for Shabbos,” he said, “and what is so remarkable is that I see all types of Yidden, older, younger, baalei bat-

tim and kollel yungeleit, all learning with such a bren, such she’ifos, such tremendous motivation to learn, to know and to retain…” The Rosh Yeshiva continued, “We live in an era where the yetzer hara, r”l, is constantly coming up with new innovations to try to make us stumble. Baruch Hashem, Hashem has also sent chiddushim as antidotes to the yetzer hara and Dirshu is such a chiddush! It gives a person his primary cheshek, desire, and goal in limud haTorah. It requires a tremendous zechus to be able to gift Klal Yisrael with so much limud haTorah!” After Mincha on Erev Shabbos, an eye-opening shailah and teshuva session was held with HaGaon HaRav Reuven Feinstein, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of the Staten Island Yeshiva. The Rosh Yeshiva answered many important chinuch questions. His answers and explanations for why he answered the way he did, were tremendously insightful. After Kabbolas Shabbos, HaGaon HaRav Yeruchem Olshin, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha of Lakewood delivered an address citing a Medrash that states that the bnei Yisrael were protected in the zechus of Yaakov Avinu. The reason why it was Yaakov and not the other avos is because Yaakov symbolizes Torah. Rav Olshin went on to praise the lomdei Dirshu for bringing such an ashirus, wealth of Torah. “They live in a different world, in a world of Torah,” he said. One of the highlights of the convention every year is the shailah and teshuva session on all 4 chalakim of Shulchan Aruch with HaGaon HaRav Yechiel Mechel Steinmetz, shlita, Skverer Dayan of Boro Park. The teshuva session with Rav Steinmetz was followed by a beautiful oneg Shabbos that was addressed by HaGaon HaRav Dovid Olewski, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Ger.

HaRav Binyomin Eckstein making the siyum on Mishnah Berurah Chelek Gimmel

Shalosh Seudos at the Dirshu Convention

In the early morning before Shacharis, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, Nasi of Dirshu, gave a shiur klali on Perek Eilu Tereifos, the complex perek that the Daf HaYomi is now doing in Masechta Chulin. During Mincha, one of the most breathtaking traditions of the Dirshu convention took place. Whereas during Shabbos morning davening all of the aliyos are given to the Gedolim, at Mincha the aliya of shlish is sold in Dirshu currency, pages of Gemara. The bidding was the greatest testament to the Dirshu mission. 1,000 blatt, 2,000, 3,000, it kept on going until one Dirshu learner prevailed by pledging to learn 8,200 blatt Gemara over the next twelve months!!! That Yid gave the aliya to Rav Dovid Hofstedter as a token of his gratitude, for ‘changing his life.’ “The purpose of the Dirshu World Siyum,” explained Rav Dovid Hofstedter, is to galvanize, empower and energize lomdei Torah throughout the world, young and old, whatever stand-

ing and station in life, irrespective of what shevet they belong to, k’ish echad b’lev echad to accept upon themselves the ol, the yoke of Torah, to become a mamleches Kohanim v’goy kadosh and to rise above the nisyonos. That is our objective and goal! Hashem has given us the tools to survive. Today there are all kinds of aids to help us in learning. There are umpteen ways to do the Daf, with this shortcut and that aid. Dirshu’s goal however is not to do the Daf, it is to LIVE the Daf!” The final address of the evening was given by HaGaon HaRav Lipa Geldwerth, who masterfully brought out aspects of the unique greatness that characterizes Dirshu. “Looking around on Shabbos, I saw so many colors and shades. People representing twenty different Chassidusin, twenty different yeshivos, Sefardim, Yekkes... the one thing that binds them together is the fire of Torah! If someone would ask me what is the one most unique thing that Dirshu has accomplished, I would say, that they made Torah keva, the most important thing in a person’s life.” Perhaps Rav Dovid Hofstedter encapsulated the primary message of the night at the end of his remarks, when, with such love he looked at the audience and said, “Tayere lomdei Dirshu, Mishpachas Dirshu, our close family. You have ruined my life. I don’t have a day, I don’t have a night, I am constantly preparing for another shiur, running here, running there, not able to have time to attend a simcha. On behalf of my entire mishpacha I want to say, I don’t know how to thank you! We have ruined our lives for Torah, because Torah is our life!” A more comprehensive report on the Dirshu International Convention, with detailed messages of the Gedolei Yisrael will be forthcoming bez”H, next week.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

World

Builders

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Being There at the Right Time By Shlomo Tausky

and said: “If you had not gotten the man to the hospital as soon as you had he would most likely not have survived.” Saving lives gives me a feeling of satisfaction to know that I help others on a regular basis. I began learning about emergency medicine as part of a family safety course that I took with United Hatzalah for my

“This was shocking to me – to see a woman choking right in front of my eyes.”

lance arrived, but with only the driver on board. Together with the driver I quickly lifted the still-convulsing man onto a stretcher and loaded him into the ambulance. As the ambulance was short-staffed, I got on board and rode along to the hospital to safeguard the patient during transport. Together we rushed the still-convulsing man into the emergency room, and I updated the treating physician as to the length and severity of the man’s seizures. It took two doses of anti-epileptic medication for the man to finally stop convulsing. One of the nurses came to up to me to thank me

own personal reasons so that I would know how to help my family. At the time, I was working partly in a bank in Haifa, and I sensed a commotion happening behind me. I got up to look at what was happening. I saw a woman standing in the middle of the room, and she was choking. This was shocking to me – to see a woman choking right in front of my eyes. Everyone was standing up and no one seemed to know what to do. I thought someone for sure would know what to do or know how to help her better than I would but no one moved. I moved. I ran to her and performed the Heimlich maneuver. My

actions saved her life. After she successfully dislodged the blockage from her windpipe, she calmed down, and by the time the ambulance arrived, she refused their services because she was fine and the danger was over. When they opened the next EMS course in Haifa, I signed up knowing that in the time of need, I need to know what to do because if not me, who else will? I began as a volunteer because I wanted to help save lives. The heads of the chapter saw that I was interested and that I was hard-working. They gave me an ambucycle, and then, a short while later, they asked me to be the deputy head of the region. I knew saving lives was important and I thought that if I could help others do what I did, then my family, my community, and other communities would be safer. I didn’t expect to be put in charge of 200 other volunteers. I am happy that I am because the work I do now saves even more lives. From one small course of four hours, I ended up becoming a force multiplier to save countless others – all because of knowing what to do and how to do it when the time came. The message I learned that day is that we all have a responsibility to help others and that often there isn’t enough time to wait for an ambulance. When people suffer a medical emergency, they need help right then and there, and I am thankful to United Hatzalah for teaching me, equipping me, and empowering me to be the one to step up and help.

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few weeks ago, a man was shopping at a store in Haifa and suddenly fell to the floor in a fit of seizures. The frightened storeowner quickly called for emergency services to come and help the man. I was on my ambucycle when United Hatzalah’s dispatch alerted me to the nearby emergency. I immediately gunned the engine and raced to the scene. I was the first responder on site. As I parked in front of the shop and grabbed my medical kit, I saw a municipal ambulance coming toward the location. The shopkeeper met me at the door and led me to where the man was convulsing on the floor. I secured the man’s airway and carefully protected his head during the elongated bout of seizures. After some minutes had passed, I wondered what was taking the ambulance crew so long to arrive. As I was attending to the still-convulsing patient, I asked the shopkeeper to call dispatch and inquire about the ambulance. A minute later, the shopkeeper told me that the ambulance had responded to a car accident and that an intensive care ambulance was on its way from Kiry-

at Ata, a town northeast of Haifa. I knew that the man’s elongated seizures could result in brain damage or even death due to lack of oxygen and that it would take an unacceptable amount of time for the mobile intensive care unit to arrive from Kiryat Ata. I told the shopkeeper to immediately request any available ambulance in the area to rush to the scene. A few minutes later, an ambu-

JANUARY 17, 2019

Shlomo Tausky works for a non-profit organization known as Ezer M’Tzion. He is married with two children and lives in Haifa. In addition to his work, Shlomo volunteers with United Hatzalah as an EMT and also serves as the Deputy Head of the Carmel Region for the organization. He has been an EMT volunteer for the past three years.

Life C ach

Weight Watchers By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

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JANUARY 17, 2019

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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o many people are on Weight Watchers diets, the company should be exploding. Everyone should be buying stock and hitting it big. Oh, wait. I’m getting ahead of myself. Actually, everyone is on a weight watcher diet but not everyone is signing up with the company. They’re just watching their weight go up or down or stay the same. And there is no profit in that! Years ago, the formal Weight Watchers diet was all about the points. But let me ask you a pointed question. Could you actually spend your life counting points? So, what was the point? Today they got smarter and introduced a lot of foods that are considered “free.” Now, that’s a word that appeals to everyone. I’m not saying you get the food for free; you just get to eat it for free, without worrying about the points of each item. Then they throw in some points on top of that. That way, you can enhance your foods or eat some extras without feeling you struck out. Now that seems to be a valid point! This is not as advertisement for the Weight Watchers’ new diet. It’s actually a twofold insight. People are perpetually consumed with their

weight. And there can always be another way to do things smarter. Let’s start with the weight thing: What’s it all about? Looks? Health? Boredom? Bonding? Why do we eat or curtail eating? It’s a loaded question with many possible answers. A lady told me, some years ago, that her husband ran a learning group every Thursday evening in her house. She served kugel and corn beef, kokash cake, and other delectable Jewish treats. The men stayed, learned,

the food. So clearly on top of everything else, food is possibly a very effective ADHD medication. Obviously, food and dieting serve multiple purposes. So why we are consumed with weight, it must have many nuances. All of which haven’t been answerable for centuries. So I guess, we will probably have to wait a lot longer for the ultimate answer. So, let’s explore the idea that there is always a smarter way to do something:

Clearly, on top of everything else, food is possibly a very effective ADHD medication.

and bonded. Then, she told me that one week she had said to herself, “Why do I need to serve anything? They are used to coming, so who needs the food?” But that night, just a half hour into the learning, they were all itching to head out. They couldn’t sit an extra second to listen without

For years, Weight Watchers operated a certain way. It seemed to be working for them. But now they’ve rethought it. Revamped. Refocused. And voila! They came up with something that seems more doable, more manageable, something people can live with better.

Maybe many of us are functioning this way. Perhaps, we are all getting by and thinking something is the best we can come up with. But maybe we can all learn from the new Weight Watchers model. The answer may not be doing something different but rather doing something differently! And we just need to take some time to rethink, revamp, and refocus on a better way to get to our goal. Perhaps we can then do much better. And not merely with our eating but with many varied aspects and relationships in our lives. I know this may be a lot to swallow in one sitting. But once you ingest this thought, you may be able to fill up on a lot more happiness in your life. So, though you may need to continue weight watching, you don’t need to keep waiting and watching things function the same old way. Put in a little effort, look at your old patterns, and come up with a better way of doing things. And you’ll achieve results in a less stressful, more positive way. And that’s a worthwhile point!

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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What Sears and GE’s Decline Teaches Us about Capitalism

JANUARY 17, 2019

By Robert J. Samuelson

dwellings by 1940. As early as 1917, GE was touting electric appliances as “servants, dependable for the muscle part of the washing, ironing, cleaning and sewing. They could do all your cooking – without matches, without soot, without coal.” These glory days are long gone. GE’s stock is trading at about $9 a share, down from its peak of more than $30 in the summer of 2000. For both companies, economic pressures changed the terms of competition. Sears ultimately could not adapt to a world that included Walmart, other “big box” stores, and the internet. GE tried to diversify from its traditional industrial base of appliances, lighting, electric generators and jet engines. There is a life cycle that applies to almost all firms, especially large successful firms. If they have introduced some important or popular product, these firms can grow rapidly for some period, often decades. But sooner or later, their market will become mature. Growth and profitability may weaken. Competition may strengthen. This leaves firms in a precarious position. The practical question is: what do they do with their present profits, which flow from their past success? The choices are mostly unattractive. First, corporate executives may hoard present profits and defend their

existing markets as best they can. This might succeed for a while, but all the spare cash hides firms’ underlying weaknesses and encourages wasteful spending, including excessive corporate compensation. Second, firms can pay high profits to shareholders through dividends or share repurchases. (In theory, when companies buy their own stock, their share prices should increase.) This minimizes the dangers of wasteful spending but doesn’t provide a path for future growth. Third, companies can find some new growth businesses to offset their mature businesses, either by investing profits in research and development or by merging with some other company. This seems the most responsible path, but it is littered with practical obstacles. Countless billions have been wasted on mergers that didn’t succeed and R&D spending that led to dead ends. Against this backdrop, the distress at GE and Sears is hardly unique. Sears couldn’t compete against more modern retailers. GE’s cardinal mistake was maintaining its conglomerate structure: many businesses under one corporate roof. The theory was that good managers – and GE considered itself a citadel of good managers – could master any business. For nearly two decades, former

CEO Jeff Immelt (2001-2017) sold businesses – including appliances and NBC Universal – and bought others to shift the firm’s product mix. And yet, his successor as CEO said: “I concluded that we were running too many businesses at once to do them all justice. We had to admit we didn’t have the [needed] financial and management bandwidth.” What this suggests is that, even in good times, American capitalism exacts a considerable human toll. To survive, Sears has already shuttered 1,700 stores involving more than 200,000 jobs, reports The Wall Street Journal. (Note: the total includes Kmart stores, also owned by Sears.) There is an ebb and flow to business, based on shifting technologies, consumer tastes, and competition. Success in one business doesn’t guarantee success in another. Last year, GE was removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average. It was the last of the original 12 firms to go. The others included enterprises making shoes, refining sugar and producing lead – all mature industries. Would we be better off if they were still our leading firms? Hardly. Capitalism’s vices are also its virtues. We pay a high price for economic flexibility but benefit enormously from the rising living standards it produces. (c) 2019, Washington Post Writers Group

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eneral Electric and Sears have fallen on hard times, and that tells us a lot about U.S. capitalism. Both were once great enterprises – symbols of American ingenuity and imagination. The temptation will be to blame their troubles on mismanagement. The real lesson is starker. It is that no business, no matter how historically innovative or powerful, is guaranteed immortality. Here’s a summary of the companies’ troubles. Sears entered bankruptcy in October. It will either go out of business (its stores and merchandise will be sold, with the proceeds used to repay debts) or a much-smaller store chain will survive. Although GE doesn’t face bankruptcy, its profits have dropped sharply, and it is considering selling more of its business units. Both firms helped weave America’s economic tapestry. The mail-order catalogues of Sears and its main rival, Montgomery Ward, created national markets for consumer goods, from clothes to tools. Sears issued its first multi-hundred-page catalogue in 1894. It was the Amazon of its time. By the new century, it was fulfilling 100,000 orders a day, reports economist Robert J. Gordon in his book, The Rise and Fall of American Growth. GE – Thomas A. Edison was one founder – promoted electrification, which reached 96 percent of urban

Gluten Free Recipe Column For questions or comments about Gluten Free Baking please email GlutenFree@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

by Mrs. Elaine Bodenheimer

GlutenFree@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

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JANUARY 17, 2019

Fluffy Blueberry Muffins (adapted from Kosher.com) What You Will Need: 2 eggs, separated ¾ cup sugar 2 tsp baking powder 1 ¼ cups potato starch 1/3 cup oil

½ - 1/3 cup blueberries (or mini chocolate chips) 2 Tbl of sugar and 2 tsp. of cinnamon mixed together

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Preperation: 1. Pre-heat oven to 360 degrees. Line cupcake pans with liners. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat egg whites o high until stiff peaks form. Slowly add sugar, baking powder, potato starch, egg yolks, and oil. 2. Spoon scant ¼ cup of batter into cupcake holders. Sprinkle tops of cupcakes with sugar and cinnamon. Bake for 25 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool and enjoy for anytime, including Pesach! Makes 14 cupcakes.

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