Centerfold

1. * TJH Centerfold

Whose Line is That Anyway?

In honor of One Liners Day on January 21, match the quote with the person who said it

1. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

2. “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

3. “He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

4. “You can observe a lot by just watching.”

5. “Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!”

6. “Fools call wise men fools. A wise man never calls any man a fool.”

7. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.”

8. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”

9. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”

10. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” A. Golda Meir

B. Benjamin Franklin

C. President

Abraham Lincoln

D. Yogi Berra

E. Ronald Reagan

F. Albert Einstein

G. Bob Hope

H. George Carlin

I. Thomas Edison

J. Winston Churchill

1-C; 2-E; 3-J; 4-D; 5-A; 6-I; 7-F; 8-B; 9-G; 10-HAnswer:

Whose Handwriting is That Anyway?

In honor of National Handwriting Day on January 23, let’s see if you can match the below handwriting with the following writers:

Bill Gates Elon Musk Steve Jobs Warren Buffett Barack Obama A)

B)

C)

D)

E)

Buffett; D) Barack Obama; E) Elon Musk A) Bill Gates; B) Steve Jobs; C) WarrenAnswer:

Bada-Bing, Bada-Bong

Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.