VISIT US ON THE WEB! WWW.THEBJH.COM Vol. 10 Issue #2 | Ja.n 24 - Feb. 7, 2024 | כ״ח שבט- ט״ו טבת
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Yeshivas Ner Yisroel Dinner Celebrating 90 Years of Greatness
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Believe & Achieve Basketball Highlights from Week 1 and 2
61
Lone Soldiers are Not Alone
64
Fund with Funds! Understanding Mutual Funds & ETFs
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s n a e r o m i t l Ba s n a e r o m i t l Ba
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JANUARY 25, 2024
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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME JANUARY 25, 2024
THE GLOW OF
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OHROFTORAH.COM
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February 4-6, 2024
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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
JANUARY 25, 2024
Contents
Dear Readers,
COMMUNITY
Around the Community
6
Community Calendar
36
Weekday Minyanim Guide
37
JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman
32
PEOPLE 613 Seconds - Dr. Yehuda Lehrfield
15
FEATURES Lone Soldiers are Not Alone
61
HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold
50
Notable Quotes
52
Kids Coloring Contest
68
LIFESTYLES Mental Health Corner
40
Tech Triumphs
42
A Boost of Inspiration
44
To Raise a Laugh
45
Bikur Cholim
46
Parenting Pearls
48
School of Thought
55
Dating Dialogue
56
Common Cents
64
Your Money
66
In the Kitchen
71
Klal Yisroel is currently facing significant hardship, with each day bringing new stories of tragedy from Eretz Yisroel. This week, in particular, has been brutal, with news of numerous soldiers losing their lives to our enemies. The challenge of hearing these reports and witnessing the grieving families is difficult enough. Still, the added distress comes from observing people worldwide supporting these terrorists, particularly on platforms like X (Twitter). X, with its algorithm, rewards individuals with large engaged audiences who post regularly. In exchange for managing vibrant accounts and contributing to the platform, X incentivizes them by boosting their voice and providing substantial financial rewards for the engagement they generate. Opportunistic individuals have seized this lucrative scheme, turning themselves into influencers supporting the terrorists’ cause. They post hate all day, their manufactured audience engages, and they receive significant payouts. Many of these individuals are not genuinely invested in the cause; they are simply opportunistic capitalists. One common mistake among Jewish people is engaging with these posts, attempting to combat the anti-Semitism being spread. Unfortunately, this is most often a futile effort. Those posting hate are unlikely to agree with a different viewpoint. Worse yet, every engagement with such
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posts only increases the host account’s earnings, perpetuating more anti-Semitic rhetoric. Despite the difficulty, it is essential to find a solution. Besides the option of leaving social media (highly recommended), we can redirect our focus to our own Jewish pride. Let’s stay positive and rise above this divisive rhetoric. Positive actions such as chesed, tzedakah, tefillah, and personal kabalos are examples of the media the world needs to see. While terrorists respond with guns and hate, we respond with open hearts and love, elevating ourselves above the noise of social media. The more of a Kiddush Hashem we create, the more we silence our detractors. In response, at BJH, we are launching an “”עמו אנכי בצרה initiative. Inspire others by anonymously sharing the special efforts you or your family have undertaken for the sake of Klal Yisroel. There is much good happening in the world, and we want to ensure that we spread the Kiddush Hashem. Refer to Page 39 to learn more. Through our collective efforts to improve ourselves, we hope to motivate others to do more good, ultimately bringing an end to this nightmare with a complete victory and no further casualties or suffering.
Wishing everyone a peaceful Shabbos! Aaron Menachem
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The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.
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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
JANUARY 25, 2024
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Around the Community
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JANUARY 25, 2024
Bais Yaakov Middle School Does it Again! By: Mr. Joey Saltzman, CIJE
E
xcitement filled the air as Bais Yaakov Middle School boarded their bus bound for the CIJE Winter Robotics Tournament, this year hosted at the Yeshiva Ktana of Passaic. The robotics teams had spent countless hours designing, building, and programming their robot under the guidance of their teachers Rochelle Goldberg, Meira Berendt, and Miriam Schechter. Proud parents and grandparents also came to Passaic to watch the competition. Bais Yaakov thanks CIJE for the wonderful opportunity of bringing robotics to their school. Students get to experience the thrill of building and programming a robot to compete in a playing field of varying skills and challenges. CIJE, the Center for Initiatives in
Jewish Education, partners with Jewish schools across the country to prepare students for the skills and jobs of the twenty-first century. With a focus on STEAM education, CIJE helps schools and teachers implement curriculum from kindergarten through twelfth grade. In the CIJE Robotics League, Jewish students learn how to build and program robots for a tournament game. This year’s game in-
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volves robots picking up blocks and scoring them in matching color goals before parking their robots. Mrs. Goldberg, Bais Yaakov’s head robotics coach, explains “CIJE is great! At first. we didn’t know how to do anything. CIJE helped us, especially Mr. Joey Saltzman. He came to our school and taught us how to do everything. We now design, build, and program winning robots!” Arriving in Passaic, nerves and anticipation were palpable. The venue was filled with eight schools and over 100 girls from Maryland, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. The competition was fierce but the Bais Yaakov teams stood out not only for their technical ability but also for their exceptional teamwork. Each team member contributed her unique skills to the project. The lessons they learned from working on robotics extended beyond engineering – communication, collaboration, and problem-solving were equally crucial. Mrs. Goldberg describes the process her 13 year old students go through to build a robot. “Our girls learned how to brainstrom and collaborate, how to have patience, how to build a robot, and rebuld a robot, again and again; learning valuable life skills with a bonus of basic engineering and programming. All this learning is taking place in a fun-filled atmosphere. I am so proud of them.”
CIJE’s meticulous attention to detail and tournament execution creates an environment of healthy competition that inspires a passion for robotics in the students. As the matches unfolded, their ability to adapt and strategize became evident. When the final scores were announced, the Bais Yaakov Robotics Club erupted in joy – teams from their club had placed first, second, and third. To achieve their first place win, Bais Yaakov students collaborated with girls from YBH Passaic to score 99 points – the highest score at any of the CIJE robotics tournaments this season! The Bais Yaakov Robotics Club has now won first place consistently for the third year in a row. But, more importantly, they also learned invaluable lessons about teamwork, perseverance, and the rewards of combining individual strengths to achieve a common goal. 1st Place - Tobi Smith, Layla Orlofsky, and Dassa Steger 2nd Place - Meira Goodhart, Yonina Dancziger, Esther Leah Booker, and Chava Reeva Goldfinger 3rd Place - Tehilla Gross and Devora Ifrah
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Around the Community Yeshivas Ner Yisroel Dinner Celebrating 90 Years of Greatness By: BJLife Newsroom
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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
JANUARY 25, 2024
Photo Credit: Jeff Cohn Photography
B
aruch Hashem this year’s 90th Dinner on the Yeshiva Campus was a tremendous success. As part of the Yeshiva celebrating 90 Years, this year’s dinner celebrated the Rebbeim and Hanhalah of the Yeshiva. Amidst an idyllic snowfall over a thousand guests spent the day on campus, learning in the beis medrash, hearing words of Torah and chizuk from their Rebbeim, reconnecting with chaveirim and most of all expressing hakoras hatov to their Rebbeim. A special aspect of this year’s on campus dinner was the presence of the Beis Medrash talmidim. The inspiration felt by the guests to campus at seeing a full Yeshiva Beis Medrash in all its glory was matched only by the excitement felt amongst the current talmidim at being able to witness the kavod haTorah and love for Ner Yisroel expressed by those who had previously called the Yeshiva home.
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Around the Community
Mesivta Shaarei Chaim Holds Hesped for HaRav HaTzaddik Rav Matisyahu Solomon, ZTV’L
THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
JANUARY 25, 2024
By: BJLife Newsroom
L
ast week, Rabbi Nesanel Kostelitz, shlita, the Rav of Machzikei Torah and Eish Kodesh, as well as the Rosh Kollel of the Community Kollel, was invited to Mesivta Shaarei Chaim of Baltimore to deliver a hesped for Rav Matisyahu
Solomon, זצ»ל. During his speech, Rav Kostelitz reflected on how Rav Matisyahu could have become one of the leading Roshei Yeshivos in the world, yet he chose to dedicate his life to helping others grow into Roshei Yeshiva and assisting all bnei Torah, and indeed all of Klal Yisroel. One unique aspect of Rav Matisyahu’s life was his exceptional excellence in all three pillars of Yid-
dishkeit: Torah, Avodah, and Gmilus chassidim. He rightfully earned the title of a gadol in each of these areas. Additionally, he played a crucial role in leading the campaign for the protection of Jewish neshamos during the era of technological advancements, demonstrating his deep concern for the spiritual welfare of his brethren. Rav Kostelitz emphasized that in davening, we recite Kaddish following
the petirah of a relative to restore some of the Kiddush Hashem that diminishes when a person passes away. The loss of Rav Matisyahu and the significant Kiddush Hashem he brought to this world is a loss not only for bnei Torah but for all of Klal Yisroel. חבל על דאבדין ולא משכחתין ומי יתן לנו תמורתו יהי זכרו ברוך
STAR-K Shows Its Appreciation for Baltimore County Police Department’s 4th Precinct By: STAR-K/Margie Pensak
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B
altimore, MD - Jan. 12, 2024 - All too often, our courageous, selfless men (and women!) in blue endure a “bad wrap”. That’s why STAR-K Kosher Certification reached out to their Pikesville neighbors, Baltimore County Police Department’s (BCoPD’s) 4th precinct, to offer them lunch as a gesture of appreciation for all they do for our community. Armed with nothing but assorted Knish Shop wraps for 100 officers - and a framed letter of gratitude – I accompanied STAR-K President Dr. Pollak, STAR-K Vice President Pesi Herskovitz, and Kashrus Administrators Rabbi Sholom Tendler and Rabbi Zvi Goldberg across Slade Avenue yesterday. “We felt it was time for Captain Bylen and her BCoPD officers to get a good wrap.... literally!”, explains Dr. Pollak. When we arrived at the planned
meeting time, much to our surprise, we learned that Captain Bylen was out at a meeting and the officers had run off to check out a bomb threat. Officer Borowski was left holding down the fort. L-R: STAR-K President Dr. Avrom Pollak, STAR-K Kashrus Administrator Rabbi Zvi Goldberg, Officer Borowski, STAR-K Vice President Pesi Herskovitz, and STAR-K Kashrus Administrator Sholom Tendler STAR-K’s letter of appreciation to Captain Bylen and 4th Precinct’s officers and staff
Later that day, Captain Bylen sent STAR-K this apologetic email: Good afternoon, Thank you so much for the delivery of wraps today for the Pikesville Precinct. I sincerely apologize that I was not here to accept them and speak with you. As I am sure you have heard, several of our officers were involved in a critical incident at the BP this week. Following that, we have been unexpectedly diverted in many directions. Thank you again so much for your support. It means so much to all of us, especially this week.
Captain Bylen In response, Rabbi Tendler wrote: Good afternoon, Our pleasure! We certainly realize (we saw and heard from our offices) that this has been a difficult week for you, and it makes our appreciation all that much deeper. Thank you again for all that you do to keep us all safe. May God bless all of you. Rabbi Sholom Tendler
SELFLESSNESS
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COURAGE
HEROISM NEW!
FAITH
JANUARY 25, 2024
BY RABBI NACHMAN SELTZER
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THE EPIC STORY THAT BEGAN WITH THE BESTSELLING 90 SECONDS CONTINUES...
Overview by Rabbi Nosson Scherman
FORTITUDE Includes “Miraculous Moments,” highlighting many miracles of the war.
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BRAVERY
Incredible stories of emunah, hashgachah, miracles and courage as more than 1,700 United Hatzalah volunteers rescue and treat the wounded on October 7th.
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Around the Community
THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
JANUARY 25, 2024
Believe & Achieve Basketball Highlights from Week 1 and 2, Sponsored by BJH & BJL
W
hat an amazing two weeks of Believe & Achieve Basketball (formerly called SBA) We have 44 teams and over 350 kids playing basketball across three local gyms! Thank you to our volunteer coaches for your dedication and expertise. Thank you to our team sponsors who will be mentioned throughout. Check them out, they all have great businesses! The Middos Award winners (each get a free scoop to ice cream and topping from Sprinkles) (* if you would like to sponsor this award please email us basports32@ gmail.com) Week 1: Yisrael Herman (2nd) on Clothier for giving up shots so other teammates can get the shot. Aryeh Parry (2nd) on Rentals Of Distinction for passing to someone who didn’t get so many shots. Sachi Levy (2nd) on Clothier for his great effort and attitude Eli Sternman (3rd) on JTAP Tennis Avi Lipoff (3rd) on Clothier Avi Parry (3rd) on Mamah Leahs encouraging his team to pass to a kid who didn’t get so many passes. Benny Charnowitz (5th) on Fired Up Promotions for his great attitude! Binyamin Honeline (6th) on Holy Smokes BBQ for subbing an extra shift for other players to play more. Aaron Lansky (8th) on MDSC for his amazing perseverance!
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Week 2: Ben Grunhut (1st) on Lazar Real Estate for his amazing attitude
Alex Miller (2nd) on Clothier for staying positive the whole game JJ Klein (3rd), on Fired Up, for pushing himself even when the game seemed out of reach Shmuel Kosoy (4th), on Holy Smokes BBQ, for his super encouragement and positive attitude. Yehuda Guttenberg (4th), on MDSC for encouraging a player from the other team to stay positive Dovid Yaakov Twersky (5th) on Clothier for his great attitude. Elisha Hirsch (5th), on Fired Up for his positive attitude. Benyamin Khoshayev (5th) on Tov Pizza for his great teamwork and attitude. Reuven Newman (6th) on GB&I Jewelers for his leadership and great att Aylee Zaslow (6th) on GB&I Jewelers for his positive talk and encouragement Yehuda Abramowitz(8th) on MDSC for his great attitude Yehuda Reches(8th) on Clothier for leading his team in rooting for each other and feeling good for someone else’s success.
Play of the Week Awards (each kid gets 2 free slices of pizza @ Tovs) (* if you would like to sponsor this award please email us basports32@ gmail.com) Week 1: Aaron Danziger (1st) on Sprinkles for his amazing layup! Shalom Landa (2nd) on Rentals of Distinction for his game winning shot in regulation. Josh Friedman (3rd) on Clothier for his deep “logo
JTAP TENNIS LEAGUE
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3” Issac Gutman (3rd) on Inkredible Kids for his step back swish. Nesanel Chernoff (6th) on Gabe & Reuben Jewelers for his game winning buzzer beater! Week 2: Zevi Frohlich (1st), on Clothier for his halved court shot! Aharon Goldberger (1st), on Sprinkles for his switch and even more impressive celebration walk! Tani Polsky (1st), on Sprinkles for his nice swish! Yossi Gutow (2nd), on Clothier for not missing a shot, was on FIRE! Akiva Polsky (3rd), on MDSC for his shot he drained while a guy was in his face. Akiva Kaplan (4th), on Benz Cuts for his play knifing through the defense. Menachem Sonnenblick (5th), on Tov Pizza, for his clutch free throw! Yehuda Katz (6th), on Holy Smokes BBQ for his amazing drive to the hoop. Simcha Gurvitz (7th), on MDSC for his many deep “3” in clutch time! Avi Abramson (7th), on JTAP Tennis League for his block! Yakov Landa (8th), on MDSC for his half court shot during the captains pregame challenge. The Inkredible Aw ard! (sponsored by The Inkredible Kids Podcast)
Comeback
Kids
Week 1: Congratulations to: Orshan Legal Group (4th Grade). Despite trailing 16-6 at the half, Team Orshan Legal Group led by Mr. Orshan himself, believed in themselves, trusted their teammates and coach, and came back to win the game on a last second shot (22-20) They are all getting a free scoop of ice cream with a topping at Sprinkles! Great job kids! Week 2: Congratulations to: MDSC (7th Grade). Down 10 points with under a minute to go, MDSC lead by Simcha Gervitz kept themselves in the game with great defense, second chance points, and knocking down big shot after big shot, some from super deep. Although they lost by two (MDSC 60, JTAP Tennis League - 62) they got the Inkredible Comeback Kids award for believing in themselves even when the game seemed out of reach and being one shot away from tying the game with seconds to go. Way to go enjoy your ice cream party kids, you earned it! Check out our wide array of sports classes, groups, one on one training, leagues, and birthday party games on our new website: www.basportsmd. com Stay tuned for Week 3 and 4 highlights and awards!
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JANUARY 25, 2024
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2024 Housing Market
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JANUARY 25, 2024
Promising Signs Abound for
According to HousingWire, housing industry experts predict that we’re going into 2024 with slight home-price gains, easing inventory constraints, and increasing transaction volume. With such promising signs abound for the new year's market, now is the time
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I’m here today with Dr. Yehuda Lehrfield, President of the Glen Ave Shul (Shearith Israel) – a shul that has been a mainstay of the Baltimore community for decades. How are you today? I’m doing great!
What attracted you to the shul? I saw the shul as a place of growth
Can you tell me more about the neighborhood? About 10 years ago, Rabbi Hopfer brought in a new Kollel to the Shul and the Upper Park Heights neighborhood. Starting with ten talented, young families, the Kollel has become a central place for limud hatorah and people from throughout the community come to learn there on a daily basis. As the Kollel continues to bring in new yungeleit and their families, many of the original yungeleit still live in the neighborhood and are using their talents to impact the broader community. Young families are now flocking to the neighborhood and one can now hear the constant buzz of children running up and down the streets.
The Shul also boasts a vibrant morning and night seder where balei batim learn alongside the Kollel, and the motzei Shabbos Avos U’Banim is a sight to behold with the bais medresh packed beyond capacity. There are other chaburos and daf yomi shiurim learning in the Shul throughout the day, as well as shiurim and programming for women and girls. Tell me about Rabbi Hopfer’s impact on the community? Rabbi Hopfer’s impact on the Baltimore community can’t be understated. Besides for leading the Vaad HaRabonim, the Rav is extremely busy on a day-to-day basis meeting with individuals and families from throughout the community, guiding fellow Rabbanim, actively involved
in many of our community’s most important institutions, and, arguably most importantly, he constantly works towards creating communal achdus at every opportunity. Can you tell me about the Shul’s upcoming campaign? Sure! On January 28-29, the Shul will be running a Causematch campaign celebrating the Shul’s growth and Rabbi Hopfer’s communal leadership. Everyone in the community benefits from our Rav’s leadership and we encourage everyone to support the Shul – a true Treasure of Baltimore!! Please visit https://causematch. com/SIC24 to donate.
Do you or your child struggle with any of the following? Autism Anxiety
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How long have you been involved in the shul? Shortly after moving to Baltimore with my family to attend dental school about ten years ago, I began davening in the shul and haven’t looked back! The shul and the surrounding area are a wonderful place to raise a family and I feel fortunate to have developed a strong connection with the Shul’s Rav, Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer.
and was fascinated by Rabbi Hopfer’s unique ability to connect with people. Additionally, I arrived in Baltimore at a time when the Upper Park Heights neighborhood was experiencing a rebirth with dozens of young families moving in as a direct result of the Shul’s new Kollel, that is also spearheaded by Rabbi Hopfer. People, regardless of age or background, feel comfortable in the Shul and I believe this is rooted in Rabbi Hopfer’s uncanny ability to show people that they are capable of accomplishing far more than what they had previously thought was possible.
JANUARY 25, 2024
613 Seconds with Dr. Yehuda Lehrfield
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The Week In News
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talion, from Ramat Gan. Sgt. First Class (res.) Elkana Yehuda Sfez, 25, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Kiryat Arba. He is survived by his parents and five siblings. Sgt. First Class (res.) Yuval Lopez, 27, of the 205th Brigade’s 9206th Battalion, from Alon Shvut. He was the father of three young daughters, aged eight months to three years old. Yuval’s two brothers are also soldiers – one fighting in Jenin and the other in Gaza. Yuval had made Aliyah when he was six years old. He was originally from Peru and was part of the Bnei Moshe community, known as “Inca Jews.” Master Sgt. (res.) Yoav Levi, 29, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Yehud-Monosson. “Yoav, in your humble way, in your characteristic silence and with a captivating smile, you were loved and will be loved by all of us,” his family said in a statement. Sgt. First Class (res.) Nicholas Berger, 22, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Jerusalem. Sgt. First Class (res.) Cedrick Garin,
23, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Tel Aviv. He was born in the Philippines and moved to Israel with his mother, who had been looking for work. Sgt. Maj. (res.) Rafael Elias Mosheyoff, 33, of the 261st Brigade’s 6261st Battalion, from Pardes Hanna-Karkur. Rafael has one child, who is a year old. A day before he died, Rafael sent his father-in-law a text, “We will not leave the [Gaza] Strip until we have eliminated them all.” Sgt. Maj. (res.) Barak Haim Ben Valid, 33, a squad commander in the 261st Brigade’s 6261st Battalion, from Rishon Lezion. Sgt. First Class (res.) Ahmad Abu Latif, 26, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Rahat. Ahmad was a Bedouin with an eleven-month-old daughter. Cpt. (res.) Nir Binyamin, 29, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Givatayim. Nir was going to propose to his girlfriend after the war. Sgt. First Class (res.) Israel Socol, 24, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Karnei Shomron.
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On Monday, 24 soldiers lost their lives fighting in Gaza. Twenty-one of those who were killed were reservists who died when they came under attack in the southern Gaza Strip, triggering a blast in two buildings, which collapsed with soldiers inside of them. The buildings were about to be demolished by the IDF and were being rigged for demolition. Troops came under fire from Palestinian terrorists who fired an RPG at a tank. An-
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other RPG may have also blasted the two-story buildings, which then crumbled on top of the troops. Monday’s tragedy is the single deadliest incident since the start of Israel’s ground offensive in Gaza. As of Monday, 219 soldiers had lost their lives in the Gaza war. Other troops worked for hours to try to rescue survivors from the buildings. The IDF said that it is investigating what went wrong to prevent further similar incidents. By Tuesday, the IDF cleared the names of those who were killed for publication. They were named as: Sgt. Maj. (res.) Matan Lazar, 32, of the 261st Brigade’s 6261st Battalion, from Haifa. Lazar and his wife were both nurses. Sgt. First Class (res.) Hadar Kapeluk, 23, a squad commander in the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Mevo Beitar. Hadar was close to his parents and grandparents. He also enjoyed traveling and worked as a security officer in India. Sgt. Maj. (res.) Sergey Gontmaher, 37, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Bat-
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Cpt. (res.) Ariel Mordechay Wollfstal, 28, of the 205th Brigade’s 9206th Battalion, from Elazar. Ariel worked in an investment company in Tel Aviv. He leaves behind his wife. Sgt. First Class (res.) Sagi Idan, 24, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Rosh Haayin. Sgt. Maj. (res.) Mark Kononovich, 35, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Herzliya. Mark leaves behind four beautiful children. Sgt. Maj. (res.) Itamar Tal, 32, of the 261st Brigade’s 6261st Battalion, from Mesilot. Sgt. Maj. (res.) Adam Bismut, 35, a squad commander in the 261st Brigade’s 6261st Battalion, from Karnei Shomron. Adam was the founder of SightBit. The company developed a life-saving AI system that locates drowning people at sea and alerts rescuers. The company was established after Bismut tragically witnessed someone drowning in the water, and despite everyone’s best efforts, could not save him in time. Sgt. Maj. (res.) Shay Biton Hayun, 40, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Zichron Yaakov. Sgt. Maj. (res.) Daniel Kasau Zegeye, 38, of the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Yokne’am Illit. Master Sgt. (res.) Elkana Vizel, 35, a squad commander in the 261st Brigade’s 8208th Battalion, from Bnei Dakalim. Rabbi Elkana Vizel was a father of four. His twin brother, Itamar, wrote on Facebook after the tragedy, “My heart refuses to believe the words I am writing. [My] twin brother – is no more. He fell heroically… in a battle in the Gaza Strip.” Before Elkana went to fight, he
wrote a letter to his family. “If you are reading these words, something must have happened to me,” he wrote. “Maybe I fell in battle,” he continued. “When a soldier falls in battle, it is sad, but I ask you to be happy. Don’t be sad when you part with me. Touch hearts, hold each other’s hands, and strengthen each other. We have so much to be proud and happy about. “We are writing the most significant moments in the history of our nation and the entire world. So please, be happy, be optimistic, keep choosing life all the time. Spread love, light, and optimism. Look at your loved ones in the whites of their eyes and remind them that everything we go through in this life is worth it and we have something to live for. “Don’t stop the power of life for a moment. I was already wounded in Operation Tzuk Eitan, but I do not regret that I returned to fight. This is the best decision I ever made.” In separate fighting in the city of Khan Younis on Monday, three IDF officers from the Paratroopers Brigade were killed: Maj. David Nati Alfasi, 27, a deputy battalion commander from Beersheba; Maj. Ilay Levy, 24, a company commander from Tel Aviv; and Cpt. Eyal Mevorach Twito, 22, a platoon commander from Beit Gamliel. One other soldier was injured in that incident. Four brigades had been involved in the fighting. The Hamas-run Gaza health ministry told Reuters on Monday afternoon that at least 50 Palestinians were killed and 100 wounded in Israeli airstrikes on Khan Younis since Sunday night. Defense Minister Yoav Gallant said
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The Week In News on Tuesday that the heavy losses suffered by the military only highlight the necessity to push on. “Our hearts are with the dear families in their most difficult time,” Gallant wrote of the “difficult and painful morning.” But, he said, “this is a war that will determine the future of Israel for decades to come – the fall of the soldiers compels us to achieve the goals of the fighting.” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said he mourned the deaths and wished to “strengthen the dear families of our heroic warriors who fell on the battlefield. I know that for these families, their lives will be changed forever.” Israel will “not stop fighting until absolute victory,” he asserted. “We will do it together; we will do it in unity. I ask to strengthen the bereaved families, to know that we have to continue. I have no doubt that when they set out on their mission yesterday, they intended for us to continue, and that is what we will do,” war cabinet minister Benny Gantz said.
Khan Younis Tunnel Held 20 Hostages The IDF announced on Saturday that its troops discovered a tunnel in Khan Younis beneath a top Hamas official’s house. DNA, physical evidence, and accounts from freed abductees prove that twenty hostages, some of whom were released as part of a temporary ceasefire, were hidden in the tunnel in what the Israeli army calls “harsh and inhumane conditions.”
Emilia Aloni, a 5-year-old hostage who, alongside her mother, was among the 105 hostages released from Gaza,
was one of the twenty captives held in the recently discovered Khan Younis tunnel; drawings that she made in captivity were uncovered during the IDF’s search. Right as the Israeli troops entered the tunnel, they encountered Hamas gunmen. A battle ensued thereafter, and the terrorists were killed. “The tunnel was rigged with explosives and blast doors designed to protect the terrorists and prevent the advancement in finding our hostages,” said IDF Spokesman Rear Adm. Daniel Hagari. “After walking about a kilometer in the tunnel, at a depth of about 20 meters underground, the soldiers found a central chamber where, according to testimonies of hostages who returned from Gaza, we understand that they spent most of their time.” Unfortunately, no other abductees were in the tunnel when the IDF searched through it, although it is a likely possibility that other hostages were in the tunnel but were transported elsewhere right when the Israeli military began its raid on the underground area. Deeper into the tunnel,
the military discovered five small holding cells, each containing a toilet and mattress. “According to the testimonies we have, about 20 hostages were held in this tunnel at different times under harsh conditions without daylight, in dense air with little oxygen, and terrible humidity that makes breathing difficult,” said Hagari. “Some of them were released about 50 days ago, and some are still held in Gaza and may be under even harsher conditions, including very elderly people who need medication and help.” More Hamas terrorists were found stationed deeper into the tunnel and were killed by the IDF. The tunnel likely cost millions of dollars to construct, the IDF said. Before demolishing it, the Israeli military showed it to foreign media outlet reporters to demonstrate Hamas’ cruelty to the world. Of the 132 hostages still in Gaza, 27 were killed while in captivity, according to the IDF. The military is “working in every way” to rescue each hostage from Gaza, said Hagari.
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The Week In News 13,572 Israelis Injured in the War
According to Health Ministry figures released on Sunday, 13,572 Israelis have been wounded in acts of war and treated in hospitals since October 7. The number includes civilians and soldiers, in Gaza border communities, areas near the Lebanese border, Israelis injured by rocket fire in central Israel, and military personnel fighting inside the Gaza Strip. The ministry said that 233 of the injured are currently hospitalized.
Since October 7, 405 soldiers have been hospitalized in serious condition or worse. Last week, the IDF said that Palestinian terrorists in Gaza have since October 7 fired approximately 9,000 rockets that reached Israeli territory. Hundreds, if not thousands, of additional rockets fell short inside the Strip, according to the military. The IDF has killed more than 9,000 terrorists in Gaza since the start of the war and attacked some 30,000 targets in the coastal enclave, the military said. The IDF killed an additional estimated 1,000 terrorist invaders inside Israel on or immediately after the October 7 incursion. (JNS)
Iran Vows Revenge On Saturday, Iran alleged that Israel is responsible for an airstrike that hit Damascus, Syria, killing five members of the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps. Tehran has since
threatened to take revenge on the Jewish state for purportedly being behind the assassinations. Nasser Kanaani, a spokesman for Iran’s Foreign Ministry, called the strike “a desperate attempt to spread instability in [the] region” and added that “Iran…reserves its right to respond to the organized terrorism of the fake Zionist regime at the appropriate time and place.”
Hamas, the terrorist group that invaded southern Israel on October 7, slaughtering 1,200 people, abducting over 200 others, and maiming and displacing thousands more, called the strike on Damascus a “heinous crime.”
“The Islamic Republic will not leave the Zionist regime’s crimes unanswered,” said Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi. The Iranian Defense Ministry claimed that the airstrike had killed “a number of civilians.” According to a journalist from AFP, the building targeted in the strike was utterly demolished, and the area was closed off, with ambulances, firefighters, and teams from the Syrian Arab Red Crescent on the scene. Israel has yet to confirm whether it was involved in the strikes. Middle Eastern officials have said that the collapsed building was used by IRGC members. Although early reports suggested that Akram al-Ajouri, a terrorist leader of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad, died in the strikes, a PIJ spokesman has said that none of the group’s members were hurt in the airstrike. A month ago, Brig. Gen. Razi Mousavi, a top IRGC official, was killed by another airstrike in Damascus which some similarly attribute to Israel.
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The Week In News Bibi: “No Palestinian State”
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has rejected the Biden Administration’s calls for the establishment of a Palestinian state and a speedy end to the war in Gaza, as U.S. support for Israel’s war effort begins to fade. “I will not compromise on full Israeli security control over all the territory west of the Jordan [River],” Netanyahu asserted. “As long as I am prime minister, I will continue to firmly stand by this.” In conversation with President Joe Biden and in a video statement released on Sunday, Netanyahu indicated that he may consider allowing the establishment of a Palestinian state, as
long as it has no military capabilities, but the premier said in a tweet on Saturday that a future in which Israel has security control over Gaza – which he is committed to ensuring – would run “contrary to a Palestinian state.” Netanyahu remains steadfast in his commitment to ensuring that Israel does not stop fighting until it is victorious in the war and that Hamas and all terrorist organizations in Gaza are eradicated. The Wall Street Journal on Sunday reported that the U.S., Egypt, and Qatar are pressuring Israel and the Hamas terror group into putting a complete end to the conflict with the release of all hostages in Gaza in a peace plan that could eventually bring about peace with the Jewish state’s neighbors and a potential Palestinian state. “So far, we have brought home 110 hostages, and we are committed to bringing them all back,” Netanyahu said. “I am working on this around the clock. But let it be clear: I reject outright the terms of surrender of the Hamas monsters.
“Hamas is demanding the end of the war, the exit of our forces from Gaza, releasing all the murderers… of the Nukhba [forces] and leaving Hamas intact,” he said, warning that if Israel agrees to Hamas’ terms, “our soldiers will have fallen in vain…[and] we cannot guarantee security for our citizens. We cannot bring the evacuees home safely, and the next October 7 will be just a matter of time. I am not able to agree to such a fatal blow to Israeli security, and therefore I cannot agree to that.” On Sunday, Yoav Gallant, the defense minister of Israel, said that the military will be increasing the scale of its ground campaign in Khan Younis, a key city in southern Gaza. “The plumes of smoke from the tanks, artillery and Air Force planes will continue to cover the skies of the Gaza Strip until we achieve our goals, chief among them, the defeat of Hamas and the return of hostages to their homes,” said Gallant.
Where’s the Beef?
If you’re interested in sampling Kobe beef croquettes from Asahiya, a butcher shop in Japan, you better be patient. The waitlist for the non-kosher delicacy is 43 years. Yup, you’ll have to wait more than four decades to sample the croquettes, which are made from Kobe beef and potatoes.
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The Week In News The shop had been making these “Extreme Croquettes” for many years, but in the early 2000s, they became an internet sensation. Nitta, the owner of the shop, took over the store from his father in 1994. “We sold Extreme Croquettes at the price of JPY270 ($1.80) per piece… The beef in them alone costs about JPY400 ($2.70) per piece,” Nitta explained. He used the croquettes as a loss leader to draw in customers to sample the store’s Kobe beef. “We made affordable and tasty croquettes that demonstrate the concept of our shop as a strategy to have customers enjoy the croquettes and then hope that they would buy our Kobe beef after the first try.” Because the shop loses money on the Extreme Croquettes, it only produced 200 each week. “We stopped selling them in 2016 because the waiting time became over 14 years. We were thinking of stopping orders, but we got many calls requesting to keep offering
them,” Nitta said. Asahiya resumed accepting orders for these croquettes in 2017 but raised the price. It also began to make 200 croquettes a day, instead of 200 of them a week. “In reality, the Extreme Croquettes got way more popular than other products,” Nitta chuckled, laughing at his own money-losing business idea. “We hear that we should hire more people and make croquettes more quickly, but I think there is no shop owner who hires employees and produces more to make more deficit… I feel sorry for having them wait. I do want to make croquettes quickly and send them as soon as possible, but if I do, the shop will go bankrupt.” Fortunately, Nitta said that about half of the people who try the croquettes end up ordering their Kobe beef, so it’s a sound marketing strategy. Now, each box of Extreme Croquettes, which includes five pieces, sells for JPY2,700 ($18.20).
The shop sends a regular newsletter to waiting customers updating them on the latest shipping estimate. A week before the delivery date, the shop will confirm the delivery with the patient customers once again. Customers receiving croquettes these days placed their orders about 10 years ago. There are currently 63,000 people in “line” as of January 2024. Sounds like they’re cuckoo over their croquettes.
Detox Dairy
Siggi’s Dairy wants you to step away from your phone. The yogurt company is offering to pay $10,000 to participants who complete a month-long “digital detox” with their phone locked in a box. Eager to get rid of your extra appendage? The program, inspired by “Dry January,” is accepting applications through January 31. Ten people will be selected for the digital detox and will have to keep their smartphones secured for one month in a lockbox provided by Siggi’s. “We believe in the power of living a simpler life with fewer distractions. One of the biggest distractions in our lives today is our phone. In fact, the average person spends 5.4 hours on their phones each day,” the company said on its website. The selected winners who complete the program will receive $10,000, a phone lockbox, a “good ol’ fashioned flip phone” with a one-month prepaid SIM card, and a three-month supply of Siggi’s yogurt. Sounds too good to be true.
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The Week In News
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Cup Crazy
Stanley cups are all the rage, although we can’t really understand the trend. One woman from California became a little cup crazy when she stole 65 of the popular water bottles, worth almost $2,500. Police were called to a store in Roseville after employees saw the woman load up a shopping cart full of the tumblers without paying for them. She then stuffed her car – the trunk and footwell – with the cups. Officers pulled her over and arrested her after they found her driving away. “While Stanley Quenchers are all the rage, we strongly advise against turning to crime to fulfill your hydration habits,” the Roseville Police Department wrote on Facebook. The cups sell for between $45 and $50, with limited releases being more expensive. People have posted them on resale sites for much higher prices. Stanley tumblers have recently skyrocketed in popularity, largely due to social media marketing, unique color releases and brand collaborations. In fact, a 16-year-old from Alabama said her parents spent $3,000 last year to buy her all the different cup configurations. “I’m obsessed,” Amelia Awad told the Wall Street Journal recently of the viral tumbler craze. After getting her first cup a year ago, she now has 67. Sounds like this craze has made her flip her lid.
Runs in the Family Devon and Dylan Lee make their parents proud. The 17-year-old twins are graduating from Herricks High School in New Hyde Park with great accolades. Devon will be the school’s valedictorian; Dylan is coming in as salutatorian.
Lest you think their parents are new to this rodeo, their sister Jeylin was valedictorian of the class of 2023. The twins say that school is not just about grades, though. “Over the course of high school, I learned the value of knowing yourself and your needs,” Dylan says. “I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends, playing volleyball, and playing music rather than solely focusing on grades and other expectations.” “It’s all about balance,” adds Devon. “Hold yourself accountable and learn about yourself what you need to really learn. Letter grades and numbers don’t mean anything if you aren’t having fun. Whether it’s playing video games with friends, messing around on the piano, or just taking lots of breaks, I made sure that I was happy with who I am.” These kids are all-around superstars. The Lees have been active in extracurricular school activities as members of Herricks’ volleyball team, which won back-to-back championships. The brothers also love to perform music, and according to the school, are both avid runners who compete in 10Ks, half-marathons, and full marathons. All that hard work is paving the way for Devon to attend Cornell University, while Dylan is headed to Yale University. When asked what the secret to their success was, Dylan told WABC, “Our parents always [valued] education and always pushed us to try our best. So even if we were to fail, all they ask of us is to try our best.” They make it sound so easy.
My Way or the Highway
“Leaving Brooklyn? Fuhgeddaboudit!”
“Changing Lanes? Use Yah Blinkah.” Driving on the highway can be entertaining when officials use highway signs to promote safety in a humorous way. But federal officials are saying that some of these signs are going too far and can be distracting to drivers. In the latest edition of the federal standards for highway signs, published in December, officials warned that messages “with obscure or secondary meanings, such as those with popular culture references” or those that are “intended to be humorous,” should not be used. The standards do not impose an outright ban on all humor or pop-culture references in highway signs, the Federal Highway Administration clarified. But they recommend that officials avoid messages “that may confuse or distract drivers.” Last week, the Highway Administration explained that state and local officials should “use good judgment” based on longstanding principles that recommend that highway signs “fulfill a need; command attention; convey a clear, simple message; command respect; and provide adequate time for proper response.” A 2022 study, funded by the Governors Highway Safety Association and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, found that a “significant proportion” of drivers did not understand safety messages that included humor, wit or pop-culture references. That study recommended that highway signs not use humor and that messages be limited to 16 words or numbers. Still, some state officials believe that drivers enjoy the tongue-in-cheek admonitions to drive safely. In Maine, the transportation department held a contest for safety signs for roads. One of the winners urged drivers to slow down in winter, declaring, “Little known fact: Snow is really slippery.” New Jersey has a tradition of using humorous signs like: “We’ll be blunt, don’t drive high.” “Our goal is always to create attention to safety and that’s what these signs are about,” said Steve Schapiro, a spokesman for the New Jersey Department of Transportation. “It’s about making sure people read them, remember them, and drive safely.” Still, he said, New Jersey would follow the federal guidance and “be mindful of the kinds of messages we put up, keeping them safety centered.”
Biden Cancels More Student Debt President Joe Biden on Friday canceled nearly $5 billion in student loan debt for 74,000 people, the latest effort by the administration to deliver piecemeal relief after the Supreme Court struck down Biden’s more ambitious loan cancellation plan last year. Most of the people who will benefit from the latest round are teachers, nurses, firefighters and others in public service, who qualify for relief under existing programs that have been plagued by bureaucratic and other problems for years. “My administration is able to deliver relief to these borrowers — and millions more — because of fixes we made to broken student loan programs that were preventing borrowers from getting relief they were entitled to under the law,” Biden said in a statement. His promise to forgive student loans is a sticking point for crucial voting blocs, particularly young people, and for Black borrowers who disproportionately shoulder the most student loan debt. More than 43 million people across the country owe about $1.6 trillion in federal loans for college, according to government data. The Biden administration has canceled more than $136 billion in student loan debt for more than 3.7 million people as the White House finds workarounds after the Supreme Court decision in June. That more ambitious plan would have canceled up to $400 billion in student debt for about 43 million borrowers. But the court ruled that Biden had overstepped his authority with the plan. The president said Friday that his administration was “continuing to pursue an alternative path to deliver student debt relief to as many borrowers as possible as quickly as possible.” Biden’s efforts to wipe out debts through policy changes have consistently polled favorably among Americans. But Republicans who oppose loan forgiveness characterize the policies as an unfair burden on taxpayers. (© The New York Times)
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THE WORLD IS IN CRISIS
בזכות התורה ינצל העולם As Klal Yisrael faces unprecedented danger ר"ל, harness the tremendous power of limud haTorah by joining Amud HaYomi. Mesechta Shabbos begins on Sunday, Feb 18, 2024 / 9 Adar 1, 5784. To join or start an Amud HaYomi shiur near you, visit AMUDHAYOMI.COM or contact: 732-987-3948 ext. 105 | info@DirshuNJ.org
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Torah Thought
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Land Ahoy!
By Rabbi Zvi Teichman
I
t is Shabbos Shirah, the Shabbos we recall the greatest of all miracles, the Splitting of the Sea and the joyous outburst of song that erupted from that experience. It also contains within it the secret to overpowering our enemies, as the marauding Egyptian army found their demise.
my met its doom as the water crashed down upon them, tossing them about until the sea spat them out upon the dry shore. More amazingly is the fact that the Children of Israel miraculously walked ביבשה, on dry land, בתוך הים — amidst the sea.
Might there be a correlation between this ecstatic expression of joy and the quashing of our enemies?
The verse reports how when our enemies heard of the decimation of Pharaoh’s army they became agitated and gripped with terror. Edom was confounded, Moav trembled and Canaan dissolved.
At the splitting of the sea two remarkable things happened. Our ene-
This fear still echoed years later when prior to entering the Holy Land,
Yehoshua dispatches two spies to scout out the land who hear a firsthand report from Rachav, the innkeeper at their lodgings, who gets wind of their true identity, telling them how ‘your terror has fallen upon us... for we have heard how G-d dried up the water of the Sea of Reeds before you when you came out of Egypt...’.)(יהושע ב י Why does she emphasize the miraculous ‘drying up’ of the riverbed rather than the more significant devastation of Pharaoh’s troops? Wasn’t it the fear of retribution and punishment that they truly dreaded? King David exults in joyous song to the Holy One, Who calms the roar of the seas, the roar of their waves and the multitude of regimes. Awed are the inhabitants of the furthest ends by Your signs. )ט- (תהלים סה ח, The Midrash explains this equation between the mighty waves that are calmed and our enemies who are quelled with the following observation: just as the waves that roar mightily, prostrate themselves quietly before the sand on the shore, so too will our enemies who stand up to us be humbled in kind. )(שוח"ט תהלים ב On the third day of creation G-d said, “ — יקוו המיםLet the waters be gathered, — ותראה היבשהand let the dry land appear. The ‘Song of the Day’ for Tuesday begins A psalm of Assaf: G-d stands in the Divine assembly. )(תהלים פב א
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The Talmud tells us that this refers to the moment in Creation when He gathered in the water and ‘He revealed the land and prepared it for His assembly.’ ).(ר"ה לא There is something unique to this very moment that points to His assembly, the Jewish nation, and their firm stand and secret to survival in this world. )(רש"י There is a tension and conflict that exists between the ‘waters’ and the ‘shore’ of the land. The natural force of water should inundate the world, encompassing it and flooding it. But G-d infused the granules of sand at the edge of the sea with the ability to stifle the water’s overwhelming power.
It is only by the recognition of that ultimate power, the Almighty that invested the shore with its might, by which we deserve to exist. The moment we deny that reality, the waters will indeed naturally deluge a world that refuses to accept that truth. Wasn’t that the fate of the Generation of the Deluge, and the army of Pharaoh that were overcome by this ‘natural’ consequence to their rejecting a pledge of allegiance to the Creator of the world? G-d responded to Moshe’s desperate entreaty to Him as the nation was struck with fright upon seeing the enemy approaching, by saying: מה “ — תצעקWhy do you cry out, — אליto me?” The Midrash explains that G-d was simply enlightening Moshe that there is no need for prayer, ‘for just as I gathered in the water revealing dry land for one singular man, Adam, at Creation, how much more so will the waters recede naturally for the sake of the entire Holy Assembly who will declare “This is my G-d and I will build Him a Sanctuary”!)(שמו"ר כא ח —הפך יםHe transformed the sea, — ליבשהinto dry land, — בנהר יעברו through the river they passed,— ברגל on foot, — שם נשמחהthere we rejoiced, — בוin Him.)(תהלים סו ו Joy is the emotion one feels when there is no opposition to one’s existence. When one’s sense of being is complete, free from any fear of loss, one experiences absolute joy. ‘Matchmaking is as difficult as the Splitting of the Sea’ because when trying to unite two opposite entities, man and woman, the innate tension betwixt the two is as strenuous as that between the force of the sea and the shoreline. When each one will willingly bend its nature, accepting the direction of G-d’s Divine guidance in each one’s reactions and instincts, will they achieve the exquisite joy of finding one’s soul mate. ‘Providing sustenance is as hard as the Splitting of the Sea’ since from the time man was cursed due to his sin, with the decree that ‘thorns and thistles it will sprout for you’, the land will naturally resist man’s efforts and man will experience the hardship of procuring a livelihood. Only perforce
33
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34 man’s happy submission to the guiding hand of Providence will man succeed in providing joyously from His fruits and bounty.
there were either thirty million, three hundred million, or perhaps three trillion Jews, of whom only 600,000 exited from Egypt.
The Jewish nation is likened כחול — עלto the sand on, — שפת היםthe seashore.
May I boldly suggest that perhaps what the Torah is telling us is that although the Jews had descended to the lowest depths of impurity there was still a healthy percentage, a ‘granule’ of purity that was unscathed, each one of them were prepared to do battle against the waves of impurity in restoring that pure morsel to its full expression and strength.
Water bonds well, but it has no individuality. Every granule of sand, although miniscule, stands independently. Its collective strength lies in the joining of numerous individual particles. Our strength as a nation is contingent on each morsel of ‘sand’, however minute it may be, to assume its unique role. The nations that seek our destruction, like the waves of the ocean, break when it faces the reality of the ‘dry shore’ that G-d uncovered — His Holy Assembly, who declare with every step that they take, ‘this is my G-d’, causing the crashing waves to ebb! The splitting of the sea was thus the reenactment of that moment in Creation when G-d gathered the water, allowing for the dry land to appear. Perhaps that is why it was necessary for there to have been twelve distinct paths for each of the tribes to traverse. Others allege there were 600,000 individual channels for every Jew who was numbered, to travel through. The united strength of the ‘sand upon the seashore’ empowered them to break the overpowering waves.
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(Based on a remarkable essay entitled ‘More than the Roar of the Waters’ written by Rabbi Rephael Menachem Shlanger, a disciple of the great Gaon, Rav Moshe Shapiro zt’l, in his book Shivtei Nachlasecha) The Torah describes how וחמושים עלו בני ישראל מארץ מצרים, The Children of Israel were armed when they went up from Egypt. Alternately Rashi quotes from the Midrash that the root of this word is חֹ ֶ ֹמש, a fifth, alluding to the opinion that only a fifth of the nation actually left, as the other four fifths died during the plague of darkness. The Midrash records other opinions that suggest either one out of fifty, maybe one out of five hundred, or perhaps only one out of five thousand merited to leave. That would mean that before the plague of darkness
It is interesting to note that the varying opinions all revolve around the number five. The Maharal teaches that whereas the number four represents the four scattered directions of the world, the number five symbolizes that dot in the center of those four directions that unifies them all into one. As long as we ‘arm’ ourselves to do battle with those inner forces that seek to flood us with its brutal force, by focusing on that aspect within ourselves that instinctively cries out ‘this is my G-d’, we are assured that G-d will gather the waters exposing the dry land that is filled with the fruit of our arduous efforts. The teacher of the illustrious Sh’lah, Reb Shlomo of Lublin, known as the Maharash M’Lublin, points out that the word used here implying armed/fifth, וְ חַ ֹֻמ ִשים, contains the same letters as ּושְֹ מֵ חִ ים, and they were happy! When we identify our enemies both from within and from without and are ready to accept the power of the ‘granules of the shore’ we each personify, declaring with absolute faith, “This is my G-d and I will build Him a Sanctuary”, that is the moment we will quash our enemies and exhilarate with utter joy over the privilege we have, to be his Holy Assembly! May we recite Az Yashir each day in a joyous expression and acknowledgement of G-d’s loving involvement in our daily lives, bringing our collective ‘granules’ together in quashing the tidal wave and roar of our enemies, once and for all. You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com
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7:05 AM Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) 7:15 AM Kedushas Yisrael Kol Torah Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Ner Israel Rabbinical College
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7:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring Agudath Israel of Baltimore Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Chabad of Park Heights Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Darchei Tzedek Kedushas Yisrael Khal Bais Nosson Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shomrei Emunah Congregation
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7:45 AM Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Talmudical Academy Darchei Tzedek Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Mesivta Kesser Torah Mesivta Shaarei Chaim 7:50 AM Derech Chaim Ner Tamid Ohel Moshe
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Mincha/Maariv Before Shkiah Aish Kodesh Agudath Israel of Baltimore Agudah of Greenspring Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Beth Abraham Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Darchei Tzedek Kehillas Meor HaTorah Kehilath B’nai Torah Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Machzikei Torah (Sternhill’s) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ner Tamid Ohel Moshe Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Ohr Yisroel Pikesville Jewish Congregation Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation Shomrei Mishmeres Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel The Shul at the Lubavitch Center Tiferes Yisroel
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6:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 6:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 7:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah 7:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah 8:45 PM Darchei Tzedek Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) Ohr Yisroel
Maariv continued
8:50 PM Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building) 8:55 PM Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh 9:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Arugas Habosem Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Shomrei Emunah Congregation Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim 9:20 PM Kol Torah 9:30 PM Agudah of Greenspring Agudath Israel of Baltimore Kedushas Yisrael Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 9:40 PM Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] 9:45 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Kollel Erev Birchas Yitzchok (Luries) Kollel of Greenspring Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah 9:50 PM Aish Kodesh Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Ohel Moshe 10:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Darchei Tzedek Kehilath B'nai Torah Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation 10:05 PM Kol Torah 10:10 PM Ner Israel Rabbinical College 10:15 PM Derech Chaim Khal Bais Nosson 10:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 11:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Agudah of Greenspring - 6107 Greenspring Ave Agudath Israel of Baltimore - 6200 Park Heights Ave Ahavat Shalom - 3009 Northbrook Rd Aish Kodesh - 6207 Ivymount Rd Arugas HaBosem - 3509 Cwlarks Ln Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim - 3120 Clarks Ln Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore - 6823 Old Pimlico Rd Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh - 6618 Deancroft Rd Beit Yaakov - 3615 Seven Mile Ln Beth Abraham - 6208 Wallis Ave Beth Tfiloh Congregation - 3300 Old Court Rd Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation - 6602 Park Heights Ave Chabad of Park Heights - 3402 Clarks Ln Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh - 3800 Labyrinth Rd Darchei Tzedek - 3201 Seven Mile Ln Derech Chaim - 6229 Greenspring Ave (Weekday) Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue 6611 Greenspring Ave. Kedushas Yisrael - 6004 Park Heights Ave Kehilath B’nai Torah - 6301 Green Meadow Pkwy Kehillas Meor HaTorah - 6539 Pebble Brooke Rd Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek - 6811 Park Heights Ave Khal Bais Nosson - 2901 Taney Rd Kol Torah - 2929 Fallstaff Rd Kollel of Greenspring - 6504 Greenspring Ave. Machzikei Torah - 6216 Biltmore Ave Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah - 6500 Baythorne Rd Mesivta Kesser Torah - 8400 Park Heights Ave Mesivta Shaarei Chaim - 3702 Fords Ln Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah - 7000 Rockland Hills Dr Neuberger, Quinn, Gielen, Rubin & Gibber One South Street, 27th Floor Ner Israel Rabbinical College - 400 Mt Wilson Ln Ner Tamid - 6214 Pimlico Road Ohel Moshe - 2808 Smith Ave Ohel Yakov - 3200 Glen Ave Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] - 6813 Park Heights Ave Ohr Yisroel - 2429 Lightfoot Dr Pikesville Jewish Congregation - 7644 Carla Rd Shearith Israel Congregation - 5835 Park Heights Ave Shomrei Emunah Congregation - 6221 Greenspring Ave Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh - 2821 W Strathmore Ave Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim - 7504 Seven Mile Ln Talmudical Academy - 4445 Old Court Rd The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel - 5915 Park Heights Ave The Shul at the Lubavitch Center - 6701 Old Pimlico Rd Tiferes Yisroel - 6201 Park Heights Ave Tzeirei Anash - 6706 Cross County Blvd Wealcatch Insurance - 37 Walker Ave 2nd floor Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah - 6819 Williamson Ave
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6:20 AM Agudah of Greenspring M, TH Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) S-F Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F Kehilath B'nai Torah M, TH Shomrei Emunah Congregation S, M, TH 6:25 AM The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel T, W, F 6:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring T, W, F Chabad of Park Heights M-F Darchei Tzedek M-F Kehilath B'nai Torah T, W, F Khal Bais Nosson M-F Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek M-F Kol Torah T, W, F Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F Ohr Yisroel M-F Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F Shomrei Emunah Congregation T, W, F 6:35 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan) M, TH Ohel Moshe M, TH 6:40 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan) T, W, F Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M, TH 6:45 AM B”H and Mesivta of Baltimore (Dirshu Minyan) S-F Beth Abraham M, TH Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue M-F Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F Ner Tamid M-F Ohel Moshe T, W, F Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim M-F 6:50 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] M, TH Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh M, TH Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation T, W, F Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh M, TH Derech Chaim M-F Kol Torah M-F Ohel Moshe S Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH Shomrei Emunah Congregation M, TH The Shul at the Lubavitch Center M, TH 6:55 AM Beth Abraham T, W, F Kol Torah M, TH
7:15 AM Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel Tzeirei Anash
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Mental Health Corner Why Am I Not Making Progress?
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JANUARY 25, 2024
By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman “Why am I not making progress?” ress can be very helpful. For example, This is the question you are possibly if one of the issues is one’s temper, asking yourself after spending some monitoring the frequency of outtime in therapy. When therapy is bursts can be informative. As a goal is working you will find improvements reached, you can move on to another in your mood, behaviors, relation- one, and so on and so forth. ships, and life satisfaction. What if Homework: Many forms of theryou haven’t seen these improvements apy involve a variety of suggestions yet? On the one hand, breakthroughs that you are asked to implement at in therapy rarely happen overnight home. Everyone’s situation is differand it can sometimes be a process that ent and not every suggestion is realtakes time. On the other hand, you are istic. For example, mothers with little definitely entitled to understand when children will not be able to start their you should expect progress to occur. day with half an hour of mindfulness In this article, we will provide some meditation. It is imperative that you information that will hopefully make are honest with your therapist that you it a little easier for you to understand are not following through with his or the trajectory of your personal journey her suggestions. This will allow your in therapy. therapist to custom-tailor their apClear Goals: Having clear goals proach to your personal situation. in therapy is a great way to monitor Lack of Disclosure: Anything progress. Even if the goals are small, that you are withholding from your it is a clear sign that you are heading therapist will greatly limit your therin the right direction. Very often, there apist’s ability to help you progress. is a constellation of problems that one It is quite understandable that you is struggling with and picking a small might need time to feel comfortable Sadkhin-BJH-HalfPageAd1-05.pdf 1 1/5/2024 3:53:16 PM aspect to use as a litmus test for prog- to make a very sensitive and private
disclosure. Sometimes, this is the result of a fear of being vulnerable. Disclosing personal information to your therapist requires opening yourself up in ways that you would only do with your closest confidants. However, the things you do to avoid vulnerability ends up causing you more pain than vulnerability itself. Fear of Change: Believe it or not, you might be subconsciously afraid to make progress. People feel very comfortable in their comfort zone, and we are hardwired to try to avoid anything that is scary. Emotional wellbeing may be an entirely new vista of life that is unfamiliar and, on a certain level, scary. As much as you are desperate to escape your present unhappiness, that does not mean that you are not simultaneously resisting. This is like someone standing at the edge of a pool and watching everyone happily frolicking in the water. You might be scared to jump in knowing that it will take a few moments to get adjusted to the new temperature. Indeed, our brains work in very strange ways!
Shidduch: There can be times when you are seeing an excellent therapist who is just not the right person for you. This can be due to a wide variety of reasons. Perhaps your therapist does not have sufficient expertise in your specific issue. Maybe the two of you are not “clicking”. It might just not be a Shidduch, and you would see better results with someone else. If you trust your therapist, feel free to ask this question to your therapist directly. Therapy does not always have a concrete ending point as we all have our emotional ups and downs. Nevertheless, the role of therapy is to bring us to a better place and we call that progress. Therapy is the train, not the station. This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp. org
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A Model Lesson
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hildren listen to what you do, not what you say. That’s what I always heard, but it’s hard to be a role model all the time. I try, but it’s rough. Now, I have older children who have their own lives and phones and have to make choices of their own. You would think that I could stop being the role model now that they’ve grown, but nope. Seeing my children using their phones too much is painful to watch because I know it’s like looking in the mirror. I decided it was time to get a dumb phone just to try to model self-control. I’m not sure I totally got my point across to my kids, but an unexpected bonus surprised me. I am free! I felt like I couldn’t focus at all when my smartphone would beep and alert, no matter how silent I made it.
As Told to Rebbetzin Sara Gross
Now I know that even if my kids don’t make the changes I wish they would, at least I benefited and gained the freedom to live without being chained to my smartphone all the time. I hope they get the message though. DID YOU KNOW: You might consider your device safe for yourself, but is it safe for others to use? It’s beautiful when grandchildren have the opportunity to visit their grandparents, especially if they live close by and can come often. For their own needs, Bubby and Zaidy might have lightly filtered, or even unprotected, internet, but is that safe for their grandchildren, and does it meet the safety standards set by their grandchildren’s parents? Unfortunately, we tend to think of our devices in a vacuum as our own personal devices, without considering
who else might borrow them, play games on them, or use them to make a phone call. Adult supervision is helpful and important, even with a proper filter. However, if the children are left alone for a few minutes with the device, watching a YouTube video while Zaidy walks out to answer the door, the children are just a click or two away from objectionable content. The same goes for a teacher or camp coun-
selor who lends out their phone to a child to make a phone call. Ask the parents of your grandchildren, students, or campers whether they’re comfortable with their children using an unfiltered device. Chances are they’re not, or they haven’t considered how unsupervised their use is. Calm their fears by protecting your device with a proper filter. If you only use your phone or laptop for a few apps or websites, TAG can restrict your device to only access those. If you use your device for searching the internet and need more access, TAG can install something to make your browsing safer. These protections, along with responsible supervision, will help make your future interactions with children both enjoyable and safe.
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A Snippet From Judaism’s Number One Podcast
An Unfiltered Conversation with the Man Fighting A SNIPPET FROM JUDAISM’S NUMBER ONE PODCAST Israel’s Media War: Eylon Levy In our interconnected world, the power of the media cannot be overestimated. Internet websites, social media, radio, newspapers, and magazines increasingly control the fate of politicians and governments, ylon Levy is an Israeli Gov- world, the messages conveyed world finances and morality. In the chareidi by religious media can shape and strengthen ernment spokesman repre- emuna, enrich charitable efforts, and ferment new shul and yeshiva policies. Therefore, it was a senting the State of Israel intergreat privilege to interview the on highly influential Rabbi Eli Paley, owner of Mishpacha Media Group publisher of the Mishpacha Hebrew and national television andand radio during weekly theEnglish October 7thmagazines. war with Hamas. He
ELI PALEY
“All Jews around the world will E emerge from this war stronger CEO OF MISHPACHA because we have a common fate destiny.” is Eli one of is thea businessman most powerful voicesactivist. in He is chairman ofand Paley and social the Paley common Family Foundation Centers and social initiatives in the Israel today.which supports and promotes Torah the most basic human right of babies Charedi community. A member of the Jewish Funders Network, he is active in several Eylon’s parents are Israeli. He was not to be abducted and girls not to philanthropic organizations. raised in London and after university, be raped by masked terrorists. We discussed the Mishpacha’s origin, the challenges he is faced with policy decision heWewent to serve in the Israeli army didn’t want war, we didn’t start making, and the overall goals he hopes to attain through the this publication. having arrived on the last day of Op- this war, and we didn’t even expect Eli wasProtective born in in the Mattesdorff neighborhood in Yerushalayim. His great-grandfather and eration Edge, the war with this war the butSlabodka it is a war that we have to grandfather arrived Eretz Yisroel in 1925 Yeshivah in Chevron. Hamas in 2014. Heinstarted a career in to establish win. There is no one in theofworld Later his grandfather became the assistant to Rabbi Herzel, the chief rabbi Israel. right media as a television news anchor and now who wants this war to end more Eli himself is an alumni of Chevron he married his wife, a graduate of from there started working withyeshiva. Pres- When than the Israeli people. We want the Michlala in Bayit Vegan, his dream was to continue learning. However, a few months after ident Isaac Herzog as his foreign me- hostages back called home.Mishpacha We want his marriage, his brother mentioned a new monthly publication was our dialooking adviser. On October 7th was a infriends for someone to work as he a distributor Yerushalayim for a day a half once every in reserves toand come home, we 5 to 6 weeks. With flex hours likemorning that, Eli took the job, earning twice as much as he would private citizen, woken in the want to go back to our lives and rebe for an entire month in a kolel. Financially independent, he continued to learn diligently. by the sirens. As part of the incredible build this country but we don’t have His father, Rabbi Yehuda Paley, bought the Mishpacha Magazine business. To help his Israeli society, everyone started doing the luxury of making this conflict go father, Eli got involved in the editorial angle the magazine figuring out how it could make anything they could and for him, that ofaway, have to topursue bring his to new justice the a unique contribution to the field of journalism. He leftwe learning mission meant becoming an official spokesto inspire and influence the Chareidi community. It is that7th idealism that stillwho drivesburned, him in October monsters his for workthe so many later. man Israeliyears government. beheaded and raped so many innocent It is a tremendous responsibility people else will do again as While Mishpacha is well-received around the world, theorgoal of they Mishpacha is toitserve, where anything hevoice tweets canChareidim, become particularly elevate and be the of the in Eretz The realto customers they have beenYisroel. threatening do. not the advertisers but theHe audience. seeks to portray an independent voice a are headline, “Israel says”. has toMishpacha There are huge differences which is unaffiliated with any political party. In the early years, in the chareidi world of betrypollicization, to stay calm toashis TV tween this but was owing perceived a weakness. However, the years and this October 7th have and passed, the Holocaust. freedom has become of the most salient of its success. background, being one interviewed in factors The Nazis tried to hide their atrocities front of a camera feels like second whereas Hamas filmed and proudly Mishpacha was the first Charedi publication to give the same respect to the Sephardi and nature. Ashkenazi societies, attempting to create a sense of unity. Over time, this adherence to distributed footage. Today we have equality and ahavas became the secret to the business’ success. Interviews withYisrael journalists who a State and an army and we can deunderstand the story and want to get and go afterwriting. the people Mishpacha’s quest in elevating frum society isfend doneourselves through sincere, honest more facts are fair. Other inter- thatwho Mishpacha doesvery not engage in pretending society is perfect. recognizing come to kill.While However, theretheare great achievements andon accomplishments the frum world, Mishpacha will tackle even viewers try to put him the spot and in also similarities. This was a massaunpleasant issues, albeit in an extremely sensitive way. squeeze an embarrassing confession, cre conducted with Nazi-like cruelty which can be very frustrating. Some- and efficiency. Both Hamas and Nazi times you have to push back and chal- ideology seeks the violent murder of lenge the insinuation or assumption every Jew in the world. For so long behind the question. We need to pres- we have thought of the Nazis as an unent facts and call out when the ques- paralleled level of evil and there can tion is coming from a place where be nothing as evil as the Nazis. But reality has been turned upside down. on October 7th we woke up to an evil We are fighting for humanity for
that bounced back in such an incredible way. Eylon tries to brush off hate mail, death threats, and negativity. He has behind him an incredible nation, the people in Israel, Jews around the dion a par with the Nazis. After hearing aspora, non-Jewish supporters from around the world who send messages The testimonies topic of poverty Charedim andisthe poor economic situation in the Israeli the ofamong survivors there community lay heavily on Eli’s heart. As part of the solution, Eli started the Charedi Institute on Instagram and Twitter, and underno doubt that if Hamas had the means of Public Affairs to engage with the government with hopes to resolve this in a way that will stand why we are fighting and why toallow do the what the Nazis theyitswould Charedi societydid, to retain Torah values. we have to win, and that gives him have done it and they would have takWhile American Jews may have difficulty in relating to the issues overseas,We Eli, as a born moral encouragement. know that en glee doingis so. Hamas deliberateand bredinIsraeli certainly in touch with the masses. He recalls the issue he faced during history and morality and law and juskolelto years distributing the magazine. The government regulation forbid a lyhistried raisewhen Holocaust associations allsource on our side and we have from receiving Kollel benefits if he had anyare other of income. Therefore, inyingeman people’s minds, they deliberately tice he was forced to register his side job under his to wife’s name, a desperate solution used keep ploughing ahead. As forbythe tried the most savagetoexmany.to In recreate his publication, he attempts broker a better solution. cesses of the holocaust, reducing peo- people who hate us when they carry Another example of difficulties that Israeli chareidim face is the draft. ple to human ash but “we are not the his face on posters through the streets Mishpacha discussed population statistics -- one out of four children is of London it means we are getting unworld’s Israel is society a Charedi–punching and how thebag”. army and Charedi can possibly reach a solution. der their skin, doing our job properly, place where Jews stand tall and Jews The paper is faced daily with Hashkafa decisions that have far-reaching effects on our and fighting back. fight back and of that is exactly society. The issue printing pictureswhat of women in the magazine has been debated back the digital war, the amount andare forth in manyWe forums. Hilary Clinton running for President, Mishpacha we doing. are When committed to was In of pro-Palestinian support shocked many readers by publishing a blurry photo of Donald Trump and Hilary onistheoverIsrael’s sacred pledge that has guided cover. “We just wanted to see how people wouldwhelming. react,” Eli confides. There are only 16 million us ever since we reclaimed our soverJews, and not all of them support The office some complaints, but the Gedolim the magazine consults advisedIseignty in did ourreceive ancient land out of the them to include her since there was a real possibility Hilary become Therewould are indeed so many more Arabs ashes of the holocaust. state of rael. president. However, in Israel,The an anti-Mishacha publication blasted Mishpacha , claiming and Muslims, who are automatically Israel willbreaking go to the ofmodesty the earth they were the ends rules of and Torah by publishing a picture of Hilary Clinton. to bring our people home to safety and receptive to the Palestinian’s mesThis became a real issue because it was very hard for Eli We to justify his sage. are inoutnumbered in the bring theirthey tormentors justice. mind why could not to print modest pictures of women, particularly information war and that is why we considering how hard be to explain The sudden shiftit seems in thetounity of to ba’alei teshuvah why women are have to fight back extra hard against “ignored.” In order to make Mishpacha, often one of their first exposures to Yiddishkeit, the Israeli people on October 7th was more palatable, Eli is comfortable with his decision. incredible and will be written about the hate and lies. are many stories a big mission: brothers Torah values, and he bears the of the inHe’s theonhistory books.to expose Duringourthe last to trueThere responsibility seriously. He often employs a different way ofof thinking, a creative model,vica atrocities October 7th from few years, hadcandeep political stretch and aIsrael twist, that support our lifestyle while at the same time show that we care tims, but it also was a moment that and turmoil, security, back-to-back aboutdomestic the Israeli economy, and its welfare system. “Instead of just complaining out the best our about why awe are not understood,” Eli explainedbrought during the interview, “weheroism must ask of what elections, year of the largest protests we can do in this field. While we have to make sure that our kids are not too exposed to the people and reminded us what we are ever seen,the and talk ofworld civilexists, war.andOn big world, (outside) we have to face reality and come up with practical fighting for, an incredible nation that solutions.7th “ everyone united with one October of stress does not fall apart mission to bring back the hostages in times Rather than hiding his head in the sand, he is ready to take on the problems in our but grows stronger. Eylon hopes that and destroy Hamas. From a perspecneighbourhoods and cities, working with the authorities instead of against them. Slowly, all Jews around the world will emerge he believes, we willhistory, be able tothis buildhas better tive of Jewish nottrust. from this war stronger because we happened Eylon is proud Eli is proudpreviously. that Mishpacha does not try to be sensationalist. Rather he makes an effort have a common fate and common toto keep belong to suchpolicies a resilient nation his editorial responsible and sensitive. “If you’re going to do it le’shaim destiny. shamayim” Eli ended, “you’ll have disyata d’shmaya to do it right.”
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45
To Raise a Laugh
By Mordechai Schmutter
I
n honor of Tu B’Shvat, we should really talk about eating some fruits and vegetables, because come Purim, we’re going to switch over to junk food for a month, and then after that, who knows what we’re going to do to our diets?
The issue is that with most foods, such as yogurt, there’s an expiration date clearly stamped on the package that says exactly when people are going to be nervous about eating it. Produce has no such date, though. How are we supposed to know? I guess they figure that if you take your cucumbers out of the fridge and find that they’ve completely changed consistency, you’ll probably know on your own not to put it in a salad. But how are you supposed to know, when you buy it, what date this is going to happen? They can’t put a sticker on every piece of fruit that says an expiration date? They’re putting stickers on them anyway. What information do the stickers give you? What company produced the apples? They’re apples. That company did not make the apples. All they did was pick them, and they can’t even tell you when. At least with milk, they put a stamp on it, so you can know to pick the ones in the very back of the display fridge. But what are you supposed to do when it comes to produce? Just takes the ones at the bottom of the big pyramid and have them all come cascading down and then hope you can rebuild the whole thing before the poor fruit guy shows up?
But you definitely should be eating more produce, because the last time you weighed yourself, you broke the supermarket produce scale. So here are some tips: Cherry tomatoes – Look in the container and make sure that none of them look raisiny, like they’ve been sitting in the bathtub too long. Shake the container a few times to make sure. Grapes – I think you’re supposed to taste them. If they taste like grapefruits, don’t bother. Bananas –Buy green bananas if you plan on letting them ripen at home, and yellow bananas if you plan on eating all of them in the parking lot. Lemons – I don’t know how to pick a lemon. I assume you do it like an esrog. You peer at them with a magnifying glass: “I don’t like this lemon. This is not worth my 79 cents.” Navel oranges – I think you have to look at the navel. This is the part opposite the stem, and it’s usually an innie. If the navel has lint, it’s old. Onions – I’ve heard that older onions make you cry less. Or more. I forget. Point is, the best way to tell if an onion is old is to start digging into it and see if it makes you cry. Also, a fresh onion should have no smell at all, so pick it up and smell it, in a different part of the store than all the other onions.
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Avocadoes – You have to know exactly when you’re eating avocadoes and buy one that will be good on that day exactly. Generally when you buy it, it will be hard as a rock, but if you then store it at
Corn – Open up the husk a little and take a peek at the top few kernels. You can guess about the rest. Cabbage – Your cabbage should feel heavy considering how small it is. You have to emit an audible “Whoa” when you pick it up. Cantaloupes – Supposedly, you’re supposed to be able to smell it through the rind. I don’t remember ever experiencing this, and I can’t tell you how many store cantaloupes I have touched with my nose. I think the rind’s been getting thicker as a defense mechanism. Celery – Celery should stand upright when held from the bottom. The same goes for carrots. Mushrooms – You want to pick mushrooms that don’t look moldy, which is not easy, because mushrooms are mold. But you don’t want any new mold growing from them that isn’t strictly mushrooms. Also, according to experts, most of these vegetables should be served on the day you buy them. So whatever day every week you buy your produce, you should eat all your produce that day, and then you’re set for the week, health-wise. Or you can ignore all this advice, because you only have to worry about the experts’ rules of how long you can save things if you keep to their rules of when to buy things. If you ignore their rules, it’s anyone’s game. Live life on the edge. That way, you can be surprised when things work out, and you too can be the kind of person who says, “This is really good cantaloupe!” so that everyone around you tries it and thinks, “I don’t know what he’s talking about. It just tastes like cantaloupe. I don’t know what I was expecting when she said that.” But your best option when picking produce is to try to get someone your mother’s age to help you. “Young man, are you crying?” “(Sniff) No. I’m just trying to figure out the onions.” Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.
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Strawberries – You have to turn the container over a few times and see if there’s a moldy one in there. This isn’t easy, because they usually hide it in the middle.
room—Never mind. You missed it.
JANUARY 25, 2024
Unfortunately, we have no idea how to actually buy produce. This is not something they teach in school.
You definitely want to dig to the bottom anyway, because who knows how many people touched the ones on top. This is the main reason we have to wash fruit. It’s not because it grew from the ground. The fruit store has sprinklers going the entire time to take care of that.
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How to Get Fresh in the Produce Store
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OUR SECRET WEAPON By Rabbi Moshe Dear
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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
JANUARY 25, 2024
Executive Director, Baltimore Bikur Cholim
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Every army has its secret weapon. When traditional tactics do not suffice and more powerful methods are called for, the army will unveil and utilize its secret weapon. Sports teams, as well, will normally play their games in typical fashion, doing what other teams normally do. However, when the need or opportunity arises, a team will throw out their play book and surprise their opponent by performing an unusual and significant maneuver. Our community is very familiar with Bikur Cholim’s hospital pantries, patient visitation, medical supplies gemach, and patient advocacy. But unbeknownst to many, Bikur Cholim also has its secret weapon; a service that Bikur Cholim volunteers perform just about each and every day, helping others and saving lives. This powerful weapon is our army of Tehillim Zug-
gers! In over 300 homes in Baltimore and beyond, Bikur Cholim volunteers unleash the powerful impact of Tfillah by completing the entire Sefer Tehillim twice daily on behalf of those desperately in need of Rachamai Shamayim. “This is a very easy yet most important mitzvah”, says Mrs. Rochel Bernstein, who has been leading the group of Tehillim Zuggers for Bikur Cholim for nearly 35 years. “We have a group of 300 dedicated women, girls, and a Rav, who recite at least one kapital tehillim daily for the those on our list”, she explains. The guidelines for this group were established many years ago by the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Yaakov Weinberg,ZT’L. One of these guidelines specified that the list of Cholim be comprised of Baltimore residents or their close relatives who are in Sakanos N’fashos situations. The list
is updated every other month, then distributed by Mrs. Bernstein to each of the 300 members of the esteemed group. Today, questions related to the Tehillim group are addressed to Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, shlita. Mrs. Bernstein describes how she was asked 35 years ago to assist Mrs. Malka Kaganoff, who was leading the Tehillim group prior to moving to Eretz Yisroel. She explains how she was happy to help in this amazing opportunity. Soon, she found herself overseeing the group and updating the cholim list. “It’s really such an easy mitzvah, as well as a way to help and support our community from the comfort of my home”, said Mrs. Bernstein. In addition to organizing the list of Cholim and communicating with the volunteers, she also touches base with the families of the cholim at least twice a year to see how the Choleh is doing. “I
get a lot of Chizuk when families tell me how much they feel our daily tehillim is helping their family member”, she added. Mrs. Bernstein is hoping to recruit new Tehillim Zuggers to the group, which is open to both women and men. Recruits only need to say one chapter a day but not on Shabbos, Yom tov, Chol HaMoed, nor Tisha B’Av. The community can also sponsor the list of Cholim for $18. This can be done in dedication for a Yahrzeit or another special event. To join the Tehillim group or to sponsor the Cholim list, please contact Rochel Bernstein at 410- 484- 2374. To add a name to the list, contact Ruth Goldberg (410- 764- 0814) or Shaindy Lowenthal ( 410- 580- 0189). I applaud our entire team on the Tehillim group who remain our most important and potent support for Baltimore’s cholim.
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JANUARY 25, 2024
LOCATION CHANGE!
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JANUARY 25, 2024
Parenting Pearls
Travel Tips for Families By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
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ravel is always challenging – even more so for families with children. With us being in the yeshiva week “tekufa,” I thought this may be a good time to discuss some things that can be helpful for families “on the go.” Whether a long distant destination or a local museum, being prepared is always important. It’s the time and foresight we put into preparing that often leads to the best family trips.
Bringing the Basics Hungry kids (and adults) are cranky.
It’s helpful to have plenty of snacks prepared and meals ready. I know kids want bags of chips, candy and cookies, but children can’t live only on sugar. Try including something healthy as well as protein-packed. We want them feeling fed, not just hyper. Have plenty of water available, especially when traveling to sunnier destinations. Kids get thirsty, and hydration is important. On a similar note, frequent bathroom breaks are a must; offer to stop when you pass the facilities. Keep with you kids acetaminophen
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and ibuprofen, band-aids, tissues, hand sanitizer, sunscreen and similar basic necessities. You’d be surprised how handy those items are. Extra diapers, wipes and changes of clothes (especially for those recently potty trained) are important, too. Keep with you a sufficient supply of any medicines your family routinely requires, such as those for allergy or dermatological conditions or anything prescribed. Naptime is important and needs to be included in your plans, both for kids and adults. Please make sure the one driving the vehicle is always well rested before getting behind the wheel. Especially on long road trips, it’s tempting to drive those extra hours. Research shows how poorly tired drivers respond on the road. Include activities for children to do while traveling. They get bored surprisingly quickly and are liable to drive each other crazy. Have a variety of options available, including music, audio stories, and options that are not “screens.” Be mindful of the mess an activity creates before packing it. If it can produce a mess, inevitably it will.
Safety Children are very excited about visiting new places and seeing the world around them. It’s easy for them to forget to hold an adult’s hand or stay close. Buddy systems, high visibility or matching shirts, and carriers worn on the body (for babies and toddlers) can all help to keep everyone together. Children can become easily distracted and not realize the family has moved
on to the next exhibit. Adults should frequently check to make sure everyone is accounted for. If adults will be going in separate directions, make sure it’s clear with whom each child is going. Nobody wants to get into the argument of “but I thought you had him.” Make sure you have a recent photo of each child that clearly shows their face. We may have hundreds of pictures of our children on our phone, but surprisingly few have a clear view of the face. Of those showing facial features, the kids are usually making funny or bizarre expressions. It can be helpful to take a picture of each child before leaving so you know exactly what they’re wearing that day. Everyone should know the cellphone number of the accompanying adults and discuss in advance what to do if they, chas v’shalom, become separated from the group. Review basic safety information that is relevant to your trip.
Derech Eretz Derech eretz is so basic but undeniably important. Especially as visibly frum families, others will judge us not only as individuals but also as members of the Jewish nation. Basics, such as not littering, cutting lines or screaming, are often forgotten by kids but noticed by those around us. We need to remember that we are outside among other people. We are quite a culture shock for them! We dress differently, eat only kosher food, and speak fluent “Yinglish.” Our larger families stand out in a society with an
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Kids often want to do the right thing, but they don’t instinctively know how to behave in various situations. Adults frequently make the mistake of assuming a child knows how to act, and what to do, in each situation they will encounter. We assume they know to be quiet during the
them when they err. We certainly want to be mechanech them, but we want to do so gently and be mindful that they may not have intended to do the wrong thing. During vacation, children are exposed to many new situations and places. There are many benefits for a child to experience new things, and parents
Making a kiddush Hashem never takes a vacation, and good middos should travel with us everywhere.
loudly say something about another person’s appearance. Often, a child or teen doesn’t realize what’s expected of them. We may get upset or embarrassed when they make these mistakes and yell or harshly discipline a well-intentioned youngster. Rather than punish or scream, many of these situations can be avoided with a little preparation and understanding. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t correct
shouldn’t shy away from introducing their child to novel locations. Clearly explaining appropriate behavior beforehand can both benefit a child’s chinuch and prevent unpleasant situations. Make clear your expectations, and give examples, whenever possible. “There will be many people there. You need to stay close to us and not run ahead.” “This is a ‘no touch’ museum. You can look but keep your hands be-
hind the roped off area.” “You can gently touch the petting zoo animals. Let me show you how to do it.” Any new part of the experience can be discussed prior to going. It’s surprising how few kids understand the basics that we take for granted. We need to see the trip from our child’s eyes to recognize what will be new for them. This technique is rather universal and can be used before many major events or new experiences, such as weddings or other simchos. For some children, a verbal explanation will be sufficient. Other children may require acting it out or seeing relevant pictures. Traveling with children is challenging but gives them exciting and incredible experiences. Take some pictures, smile at them, and have some fun as you get to see the world through their young eyes. This is when some of the best memories are created. Enjoy and have a great Shabbos!
Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at Rayvych Homeschool@gmail.com.
JANUARY 25, 2024
Clear Expectations
rav’s speech and not run in screaming for a lollipop. It’s obvious to us to not wipe chocolate-covered hands on our mother’s new shirt. It seems clear that if something in the museum is blocking your path, it means we don’t cross the barrier or hop over it. We assume that children understand that it’s impolite to
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ever-decreasing birth rate. We may say “kids are kids,” but that doesn’t mean the guy on the plane wants to hear them. The majority of the world is gentiles, and we are less than .2% of the world population. Our families are likely to meet a few non-Jewish people during our travels. Especially for children raised in predominantly frum communities, it can be an adjustment to recognize that the world around us has different norms. Those traveling farther away need to remember that the year-long residents don’t always appreciate having their communities taken over. While still maintaining pride in our heritage, we need to have constant awareness to respect others and that we are living in their country. Making a kiddush Hashem never takes a vacation, and good middos should travel with us everywhere.
Engagements Dan Melnik (Texas) & Shiffy Carrol (Baltimore) Want to see your simcha here? Email mazeltov@baltimorejewishhome.com or text 443-675-6507 to submit your simcha!
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Elisha Kirshner & Zahava Sanders
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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
JANUARY 25, 2024
1. *
TJH Tree Trivia 1. What is the official tree of the U.S.? a. American Chestnut b. Gray Birch c. Oak d. Hawthorn 2. Approximately how many types of trees are there in the world? a. 500 b. 2000 c. 14,000 d. 23,000 3. Which country has the most square miles of forest? a. U.S. b. Russia c. Australia d. Brazil 4. The tallest tree in the world is a Coast Redwood located in
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Centerfold Northern California. How tall is it? a. 379 ft b. 590 ft c. 734 ft d. 1,100 ft 5. Which of the following U.S. states has the most trees? a. Wyoming b. Oregon c. New York d. Ohio 6. The oldest known tree in the world is located somewhere in Inyo National Forest, California. (Its exact location is undisclosed to protect it from vandalism. If I found it, I would totally love to hang a “No Mets Parking Here” poster on it.) The tree is 4,789 years old. What is the name of the tree? a. Methuselah b. Solomon c. Goliath d. Jacob’s Ladder 7. The science of calculating a tree’s age by its rings is known as: a. Chlorophyllyzation b. Dendrochronology c. Treehugolagy d. Makeitupolagy because nobodyknowsyourelyingoligy
e. Botanology f. Arboristology Answers: 1-C 2-D 3-B- Russia has approximately 3,287,243 square miles of forest. The U.S. comes in fourth place with 872,564 square miles of forest. 4-A 5-B- According to a report published by the USDA Forest Service in 2002, Oregon has the most trees in the U.S. 6-A 7-B Wisdom key: 6-7 correct: You are a serious tree lover. Let me guess, you tied yourself to a tree to protest it being cut down to build a new hospital, right? 3-5 correct: Not bad. You see? You gained something from those nature walks that your parents forced you to take as a child. 0-2 correct: You could use a little less carbon dioxide and a little more oxygen…develop a give and take with your local tree and maybe you will do better on the next trivia.
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The magician says, “And now for my final trick! I will disappear!” Then he grabs a pear from under the table and says, “You’re the worst fruit ever!”
was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently. It’s really all about raisin awareness.
Why do oranges wear sun cream? Because their skin peels!
Last night, I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange lemonade. It was a Fanta-sea!
What’s the similarity between an apple and an orange, beside that both are fruits? Both are not a banana.
What did the daddy tomato say when his child was falling behind on their walk? “Ketchup!” An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An orange a day keeps the plumber away. Basically, if you throw fruit at people they go away.
My friend told me, “Did you know trees drop edible stuff that’s not fruit?” I said, “That’s nuts!”
You Gotta be Kidding Me! in a line. He says, “Hey, guys, I’m a fruit. Can I hang out with you?”
What did one watermelon say to the other watermelon? You’re one in a melon!
What vegetable is pretty cool? Rad-ish.
Riddle me This What is both a fruit and a time?
An orange turns to him and replies, Answer: A date.
“No, this is the punch line.”
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A tomato walks up to a bunch of fruits
JANUARY 25, 2024
My favorite fruit is the pear. Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
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So Fruity!
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JANUARY 25, 2024
Notable Quotes “Say What?!”
Fire sale on all Ron DeSantis merch today!
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- Tweet by Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA after his rival, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL), bowed out of the presidential race
The merch is almost going as fast as people are fleeing California. Eh, OK, not quite. - One of many tweets in response
He had the nerve to run. You have to wait until Joe Biden dies in office before you get permission to run for President. – Another commenter
He just asked if I will be using the name Ron Desactimoneous… That name is officially retired! - Trump, after Ron DeSantis dropped out of the presidential race and endorsed Trump
Always be wary of any name that sounds like it could come out of a George Orwell book.
We must confront the deepening rot of antisemitism on social media platforms, on college campuses and elsewhere in America. We must ask ourselves, what kind of society do we wish to be? Do we wish to be a society that affirms that every life, every Jewish life, every black life, every life has inherent dignity and value and worth that each of us is a child of God, that each of us is an equal creation in the image of G-d? Or do we wish to be a society that affirms that violence and terror, no matter how barbaric, can be justified and even glorified under the guise of quote-unquote, “resistance”?
- Ibid.
- Rep. Ritchie Torres (D-NY), speaking at a Manhattan synagogue
I fell short. I’m sorry. - Golriz Ghahraman, 43, a former UN human rights lawyer originally from Iran who became the first refugee to be sworn in as a member of New Zealand’s Parliament in 2017, resigning last week after videos showed her shoplifting from two clothing stores
Diversity, equity and inclusion, these all sound like nice words. What it really means is discrimination on the basis of race… thus I think it is fundamentally antisemitic.
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- Elon Musk at an event with the European Jewish Association (EJA) following a visit to Auschwitz this week
In the circles that I move, I see almost no antisemitism. And I know there’s this old joke [about having] one Jewish friend. No, like two-thirds of my friends are Jewish. I have twice as many Jewish friends as non-Jewish friends. I’m like Jewish by association. – Ibid.
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A letter to his family, written in advance by Elkana Vizel, H”YD, who was among 24 soldiers killed in Gaza earlier this week
If you are reading these words, something must have happened to me. If I was kidnapped, I demand that no deal be made for the release of any terrorist to release me. Our overwhelming victory is more important than anything, so please continue to work with all your might so that the victory is as overwhelming as possible.
We are writing the most significant moments in the history of our nation and the entire world. So please, be happy, be optimistic, keep choosing life all the time. Spread love, light, and optimism. Look at your loved ones in the whites of their eyes and remind them that everything we go through in this life is worth it and we have something to live for.
[I] asked to speak to Prime Minister Netanyahu and until now, that phone call has not been received. - UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres, who has made vicious remarks about Israel since Oct. 7th, disclosing to Al Jazeera that Prime Minister Netanyahu refuses to take his call
JANUARY 25, 2024
Maybe I fell in battle. When a soldier falls in battle, it is sad, but I ask you to be happy. Don’t be sad when you part with me. Touch hearts, hold each other’s hands, and strengthen each other. We have so much to be proud and happy about.
Don’t stop the power of life for a moment. I was already wounded in Operation Tzuk Eitan, but I do not regret that I returned to fight. This is the best decision I ever made. I wish the Democrats would think a little more carefully when they talk about MAGA. – Chase CEO Jamie Dimon on MSNBC
- Ibid.
I don’t like how he said things about Mexico, but he wasn’t wrong about some of these critical issues and that’s why they’re voting for him. - Ibid.
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Just take a step back and be honest: He was kind of right about NATO. He was kind of right about immigration. He grew the economy quite well. Tax reform worked.
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JANUARY 25, 2024
54 I am here today to tell you that the West is in danger. It is in danger because those who are supposed to uphold the values of the West find themselves co-opted by a worldview that inexorably leads to socialism, and consequently, to poverty. - Argentine President Javier Milei addressing the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland,
It must never be forgotten that socialism is always and everywhere an impoverishing phenomenon that failed in all the countries where it was tried. It was an economic failure. It was a social failure. It was a cultural failure. It also took the lives of 150 million human beings. - Ibid.
It’s estimated that Ron DeSantis spent $2,263 per vote he got. It literally would have been cheaper to buy each of his supporters a Peloton bike. - Jimmy Kimmel
Are they stopping the Houthis? No. Are they going to continue? Yes. - President Joe Biden when asked if the airstrikes against the Houthis are working
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School of
Thought
Q:
Dear Etti, Some kids seem to make friends so easily. My son is struggling. My heart hurts as I watch him trail behind the other kids when I drop him off or pick him up from school or stop by school to give something to the office and get a glimpse of him at recess. How can I help him? - Concerned
Mrs. Etti Siegel holds an MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. She is an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning, is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech Magazine and The Journal for Jewish Day School leaders. She will be answering your education-based questions and writing articles weekly for The Jewish Home. Mrs. Siegel can be reached at ettisiegel@gmail.com.
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more friends if he joins an athletportant skills that help develop conic activity. Kids care about sports, nections with others. Children who and if your child doesn’t, it will Social stories are a wonderful are having leave him on the outs again. Can source of learning and are often difficulty making someone practice throwing balls springboard for discussions. For with him and see if he can catch preschool and first grade, social friends need help and throw and if he is afraid of the stories are books like I Go to School learning social ball? (If he is afraid, be careful to and I Go to the Park by Rikki Benbuild him up and not tease him for enfeld, Hachai Publishing. Books skills. being scared of being hit, and keep like Mrs. Piggle Wiggle and Savta in mind that boys spend a lot of time Simcha are helpful to read with your at school playing sports. Check with child in grades 2-4. the teacher if there are other boys Playing “Finish the Story” by sharing a scenario without an ending will get his brain who don’t like sports and find out what they play with or do instead.) thinking. It will also help you identify where his social There are social groups run by social workers that could deficits are. An example: Chaim and Yossi are looking at improve your child’s ability to make friends. Ask your son’s Gedolim cards. Shimmy wants to join. Finish the story. pediatrician, teacher, or school social worker if he/she can Or: Chaim and Yossi think Shimmy is out. Shimmy thinks recommend any. he got to the base before the ball, and he isn’t out. Finish Dr. Bussman reminds parents to be careful, though. the story. If there is a social worker in your child’s school, ask Some children are more introverted and prefer being by themselves. “Different children in the same family can have for a phone or in-person meeting. He/she might be able to different social limits and degrees of comfort. A child who observe your son and pinpoint where the deficits are and prefers quiet time or being in small groups isn’t necessarily either guide you and/or work with your child directly. avoiding other kids.” They still need to learn social skills Playdates at your house, under your supervision, are and be with other people, but one or two friends are OK. very enlightening. Your child will be most comfortable at home, and you will get to see firsthand what the issues are. Your son might not need a whole gang to hang out with. Your son also might not be able to handle more social acYou might need to practice with your child before a friend comes over, enabling a shy child to know what to expect tivities if he goes to school every day. He might relish being during a playdate and a more impulsive child to know what home and playing by himself. Maybe an activity he enjoys the expectations are when having a friend over. once a week can widen his social circle without taxing his I always found carpool to be an eye-opening experimore introverted nature. As always, we need to remember that our children are ence, and other mothers I spoke with feel the same. The not an extension of ourselves. Dr. Rooney’s advice is to keep kids often forget the driver is a listening adult, and you everything in perspective. “Kids need just one or two good can figure out a lot about your child’s social skills from friends. You don’t have to worry about them being the most that short ride. popular kid in their class.” Are there any Sunday or after-school activities that Hatzlacha, would help your son develop closer friendships? Be sure - Etti to remember that a less athletic child might not make
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Dear Concerned, You are a wise parent. Having friends is so important and knowing how to form those relationships is just as important as getting good grades. You can’t actually make friends for your child, but you can try to teach him the crucial social skills he needs. Dr. Rachel Busman, a psychologist who works with anxious children, explains that shy children struggle with making friends and need help and support knowing what to do and transitioning to new situations. Dr. Mary Rooney, a psychologist who works with many children who have ADHD, says that social skills do not come naturally to many children, especially children who are impulsive or hyperactive. They have trouble taking turns and dealing with the times when things don’t go their way. Children who struggle with focus might not be sure how to assert themselves and so they end up out of the loop. Both agree that children who are having difficulty making friends need help learning social skills. Start by reaching out to your child’s teacher to get a clearer picture of what your child does around other children. Does he hang back? Push his way forward? Talk incessantly? Not take turns? Give up very quickly with a more assertive child? The clearer the picture, the better you will be able to help him. Try some coaching. Play some games and encourage turn-taking. Teach your child how to lose gracefully. Don’t always let him win when you play with him – that defeats the purpose! Share what happened in your social interactions over the course of the day, share some stories of different events that happened to others without using names, and show how you dealt with issues that arose. (Of course, in your everyday interactions, your child needs to see you model the patience and turn-taking you are coaching him to learn.) Does your child look people in the eye when he speaks? Does he pick up on other people’s moods? These are im-
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By Etti Siegel
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Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
My mother’s brother, our uncle, was always the comic relief of the family. All of us kids loved when Uncle Benny came over and spent Shabbosim with us. Years have gone by and all of us kids got married but Uncle Benny has since remained single. Here and there, we try to set him up, but
it never goes anywhere. Now more than ever, when Benny needs a happening place to be, my parents enjoy inviting him. When he comes and one or two of us marrieds are there as well, we end up feeling awkward. We almost feel bad that we’re married and he’s not. We know obviously it’s illogical, because whatever is meant to be is meant to be, but we feel like it’s an elephant in the room that has completely changed our dynamic around him.
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We’re wondering if there is a way to make things normal or back to the way they were. Is there something we can do or say? Should we go above and beyond to try and set him up more? Not set him up at all? We would really appreciate the panel’s thoughts. Thank you so much. -Elisheva*
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. ou are a caring bunch. Keep in mind that perhaps your uncle could probably use someone his own age like his sister to encourage him and support him through dating. That’s not your role, obviously. You care and would love to see him with a family of his own, however. Since you have tried to fix him up in the past, I would suggest that you bite the bullet. One of you, perhaps one who is particularly close to him, should pull him aside privately or go out for a walk with him. The script can be practiced before but should be thought through so that he is neither patronized nor uncomfortable. He should come out of it feeling loved as well as respected. It could go something like this: “We love spending time with you here at our parents’
Y
home where we have enjoyable family seudos together. I was just wondering if you are still open to suggestions of women to date. You know I care deeply about you, and I would really love it if you found your life partner. But I don’t know if it’s my place to keep trying to fix you up. What is most comfortable for you, Uncle Benny? Do you want to think about it and get back to me?”
The Shadchan Michelle Mond
D
o not act as Benny’s shadchan. Act as Benny’s family. Just because he is not married does not mean he is no longer the person he once was! He still is the fun, entertaining uncle – and I bet that what he wants more than anything is for everyone to just act NORMAL. Go about your normal married lives around him, shmooze about the good times, laugh at old jokes, poke fun
and enjoy the banter. What I have come to realize is what singles hate most is feeling like everyone around them has to suddenly be a shadchan. They feel that everyone around them feels the obligation to help. They constantly have to feel out the “nebach” vibes permeating through every member of the house. They feel your hesitancy to talk about your new apartment or your kid’s chumash party, and they don’t like it. Invite Benny for meals at your place, have him get to know your new husband, and they can build a relationship, too. Give him a fun place to chill. He will feel the love and support. You might feel like this is not helping but it actually is. Through this love, support, and nonjudgmental warmth he will feel at your house, the more energized he will be to get out there, date, and build a family like yours. Shoving it in his face by acting awkward and different when he comes by will push him away. Thanks for shedding light on this im-
portant issue by sharing your question!
The Zaidy Dr. Jeffrey Galler
I
t is an unfortunate fact of life that in our insular community, an important measure of success is whether a person is, or is not, married. However, whether by choice or by circumstance, there are many who remain single. According to Rebbetzin Dr. Yardana Hodkin, Clinical Associate Professor at NYU Langone Medical Center, “Utilizing a person’s marital status as a major barometer of success in life is very sad. If getting married is simply not working out for an individual, remember that there are many different avenues through which a person can achieve fulfillment in life and that there are many different
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pathways to avodas Hashem.” So, Elisheva, your Uncle Benny sounds like a very incredible person. He makes
you laugh, lights up family gatherings, and clearly loves you.
Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists
D
ear Elisheva, Thanks for your email! It seems like you have a wonderful, warm, and caring
family! I know that place to say any-
is a construct of your own mind. So, please consider that the first step in alleviating this situation is for you to reprogram your thinking and change your mentality. Our job in life is to successfully be a true Eved Hashem, under any circumstances that Hashem gives us.
Uncle Benny. Keep offering suggestions of women he can go out with. Things will feel normal and comfortable when you change your outlook. Uncle Benny isn’t married but that doesn’t mean that he is uncomfortable. As you and your siblings/cousins get older and become adults, you are seeing Uncle Benny through a different lens. But nothing has actually changed. Go on enjoying your lives around Uncle
Benny. He is likely thrilled to see his nieces and nephews getting married. And if he is having a hard time, that doesn’t mean he wants you to hide your joy from him. You are allowed to be openly and happily married. Most healthy(ish) people do not want their loved ones to hide their joy from them because they don’t have the same. All the best! Jennifer
Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.
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As part of your task of achieving avodas Hashem, perhaps you should consider how important it is for you to always make your uncle feel welcomed and loved by you and your family. “Feeling awkward” is not something that objectively exists or doesn’t exist; it
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By David J. Glenn
Lone Soldiers are Not Alone
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“These are all our children, and they are craving a bit of home, which is what we try to provide for them on a continuous basis.”
“N
ever leave a fallen warrior behind.” The Nevut organization, currently on its fourth mission to Israel to care for Lone Soldiers serving on the front lines, takes this commitment to heart ---- and is in a unique position to fulfill it. Directed by Rabbi Ari Abramowitz, Executive Director and founder of Nevut, who himself recently returned from serving in reserve duty, this compassionate team navigates the warfront, journeying from base to base, distributing much-needed warm gear and supplies, and the even more needed hugs and emotional support. Rabbi Abramowitz started Nevut in 2017 when he saw thousands of lone soldiers coming back to the United States with no specific program geared towards helping them. “So many were struggling and there was no one to turn to,” he recalls. “We went to build up a community for the chayalim so they can have a support system in place.” Their presence is more than just a delivery of physical provisions; it symbolizes a piece of home, a comforting touch, and indispensable emotional support for these brave soldiers. Nevut (meaning “to navigate” in Hebrew) is a nonprofit organization based in Rockland County, New York. Nevut’s mission is to ensure that the approximately 600 Americans that leave the comforts of home each year to serve in the IDF have the support they need to succeed. Before the war broke out, Nevut steadfastly worked with IDF lone soldier veterans empowering them to successfully reacclimate to civilian life after completing their IDF service and returning back to the States. As a matter of fact, on Simchas Torah of this year, Nevut was hosting a program for lone soldiers in New York, when many of them began receiving calls from Israel, calling them back to join in the fight. Rabbi Abramowitz himself was one of those soldiers who were called back to Israel. October 7 transformed Nevut’s work to a whole new level. As the outbreak of the war shifted hundreds of veterans back into active duty, Nevut stepped up its role to support these reservists. “We turned our organization into an operation center 24/7 to give to these soldiers,” Rabbi Abramowitz explained. During the first two weeks of the war, Nevut received more than 3,000 calls from people who needed guidance, support and help. Because they were an established
organization, Nevut was already in a position to help. “We’re delivering essential gear and on-the-ground support to our chayalim stationed throughout the country,” related David Devor from Far Rockaway, NY, and Nevut’s Board Chairman. “We have strong relationships with most of them, so our visit is a familiar face, bringing them emotional support, a touch from home, as well as physical supplies. We’re showing these young people from the U.S. who joined the IDF in defense of Israel that we have not forgotten them.” David’s son, Yitzchok, had served in the IDF and is now a reservist, “who could be called up at any time,” his father shares. Rabbi Abramowitz adds that it’s not just about the gear. “The soldiers know us, and they know we care for them. We’re there to give them that hug or to show them a familiar face. We come with therapists; we speak with them on the frontlines. They know that we have been for them before, and we’re there for them now.” Dr. Eric Pollack, from Woodmere, director of the Department of Behavioral Health at Ezra Medical Center in Boro Park and advisor to Nevut, felt “I had to go there” when the war against Israel broke out. As a psychologist, he has helped in “field therapy” for the soldiers in Gaza. Having worked with Nevut for several years, Dr. Pollak is a welcome and familiar face for the reservists. “They often suffer from everything from homesickness to post traumatic stress syndrome,” Dr. Pollak notes. “They are really excited about seeing us on the field.” Nevut will be waiting with open arms for these reservists to return home as well. The commitment never to “leave a fallen soldier behind” extends past the battlefield to when these soldiers return home. After finishing their service, these lone soldiers face the challenges of reacclimating to civilian life, sometimes with physical or mental wounds that need healing, support and understanding. “While the Israeli soldiers now fighting against Hamas will have a broad range of services and support networks in Israel when they complete their service, American IDF soldiers typically lack almost all of that,” David explains. “We give them the tools to acclimate to civilian life.” In the toolbox are services such as psychological counseling (including suicide prevention), job and career guidance, Zoom and in-person gatherings, Shabba-
tons, weekend retreats “for camaraderie,” and emergency funding for reservists. Rabbi Abramowitz recalled how he and other Nevut members prevented a lone soldier from committing suicide. “There was one young man who, when he returned home, felt that nobody really understood what he had been through,” he said. “At one point, he took out his revolver from the drawer. But then he remembered our conversation and heard my voice reassuring him and comparing him to a mighty Macabee. He returned the gun to his drawer and resolved to reach out to me the next day. We spoke at length, and he began therapy through Nevut, attending our events and meet-ups. “Today, he is a happily married man with a beautiful family. ‘You guys saved me,’ he told me.” Off the field, Eric and others from Nevut help soldiers return to the community, to work or school, and to family life with their spouses or parents. Rabbi Abramowitz notes that many soldiers are being sent home now, after being in the field for many months. They bring with them feelings of guilt – of being sent back home when there are still hostages being held in captivity and friends who are still on the frontlines. Nevut is there to help them grapple with those feelings. Working with these lone soldiers, who are mainly in their 20s, is intense, Dr. Pollak adds. Still, “I feel it’s really meaningful and purposeful.” David Devor echoes his sentiments. “The connections made with the soldiers is priceless, whether it was before the war, during the time of war or post the war, iy”H. The visits we are currently making and the hugs we are receiving are appreciated more than anyone can imagine. When I show up at a base and see a soldier’s eyes light up, I think to myself: this could be my son, this could be my nephew, my friend’s son. These are all our children, and they are craving a bit of home, which is what we try to provide for them on a continuous basis.”
Putting Life on Hold
A Lone Soldier (Hebrew: Chayal Boded) is a person without direct ties to Israel who nonetheless joins the Israeli Defense Force as a volunteer (or is paid a low stipend). Many are from the United States, but some 60 other countries are represented in their ranks. Their motivation is to defend Israel and the Jewish people; they place school or career and family life on
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All in the Family
Serving Anytime
Although Yosef Davis of Monsey, NY, inevitably took pride in co-founding the widely followed Torah Anytime website, he is really proud of serving in the IDF for two years starting in 2004 and recently for a month near Gaza following the October 7 terrorist attack. “It was all hands on deck when Hamas attacked,” Yosef said. “I had to help in the defense of Israel and my people.” Although he was settled in Monsey and married with four young children, he didn’t hesitate to serve once again, this time in Gaza. “My wife was supportive,” Yosef said. “She would have gone herself if she could.” “The Hamas terrorists are like the Nazis,” he said. “I couldn’t stay on the sidelines.” Yosef did not see the videos of Hamas’ October 7 slaughter of families and the assault of women. Hamas gleefully released the videos – some taken with the terrorists’ own body cams – as “psychological warfare,” Yosef said. “I purposely did not watch it.” Those who did view the footage often “had a look of horror” afterward, he said. While many in the U.S. and Europe criticize Israel for the killing of non-combatants, Yosef said it’s very difficult to avoid civilian deaths since “there are huge bastions of Arab civilians who harbor the terrorists,” and many other civilians are forced to stay amid terrorists as human shields. He stressed that Israel warns communities of impending IDF attacks by dropping pamphlets and other measures. “What other military does that?” he rhetorically asked. Yosef now is back in Monsey with his wife and children. But “if I’m needed, I’ll go back. “And I know that Nevut would be there for me again.”
“I Had to Aid My Jewish Brethren”
Moshe Wolf of Queens had been a member of the or-
ganization MACHAL, an acronym for the Hebrew words meaning Volunteers from the Diaspora. He had been leading a comfortable life with his wife and three young children, but when Hamas attacked Israel on October 7, “I couldn’t focus on my day-today,” he recalled. “I had to come to the aid of my Jewish brethren.” Moshe re-enlisted for a two-month tour. Among his duties was to help guard a farm in the hills of Chevron which was vulnerable to attacks from the terrorists. (The farmer also was Moshe’s commanding officer.) Moshe was given other assignments during his tour as well. Although he wasn’t engaged in direct combat, the missions were important because “we had to show our presence” to the terrorists. At one point, he and his fellow soldiers came upon a new structure which appeared to be an entrance to a potential tunnel. The men were able to dismantle it. Now, more than three months into the war, “civilians in Gaza are starting to rise up against Hamas,” Moshe said. “The question is, where were they before? Why did they allow Hamas to get to this stage?” To those who decry the civilian casualties, Moshe responds, “It’s war. Israel takes pains to avoid civilian deaths. The critics aren’t there. You can’t judge from a living room couch or a television studio.” And the casualty figures that the general media disseminate are from the so-called Gaza Health Ministry, controlled by Hamas, Moshe stressed. “You can’t trust them,” he said. “They could make up numbers, and besides, they don’t distinguish between terrorist and civilian deaths.” Hamas’ propaganda extends to making videos of mothers or fathers holding “dead babies” that are really just dolls, Moshe notes. Any nation “with a moral compass” should realize the true nature of Hamas, he said. “They’re not ‘freedom fighters.’ They’re not ‘militants.’ They’re brutal terrorists. “They don’t have a place on the planet.” Nevut, Moshe said, was instrumental in helping him to re-adjust back into his peaceful life in Queens. “The counseling, the personal visits, the general caring — it was really important,” he said. “It made a big difference.”
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The work of Nevut and other such organizations is particularly important for the spouses of lone soldiers. Lilly Schwartz of Cleveland is one example. Her husband, Zalmen, currently is serving in Gaza. Although the couple, both in their 20s, have been married less than a year, her parents — her dad, a vet of the Korean War, and her mother, an employee of the Veterans Administration — are “very supportive of him,” Lilly says. “They know how vital it is to defend Israel now. I would go myself if I could.” Lilly does offer help outside the battlefield, though. She organizes support groups at Nevut to aid other wives of lone soldiers. The mental health volunteers “understand what we’re going through,” she said. Zalmen had been in Israel as a police reservist, but “nobody could have anticipated this war,” she said. “It’s been horrible for both of us.” Nevut has also proven to be of vital support for the parents of lone soldiers. Yacov Cohn, 25, the son of Nevut volunteer Malka Cohn and the stepson (actually, “bonus son,” as his new father likes to put it) of Jeffery Singer, has been a reservist in a Special Services unit of the IDF since March 2022. Malka helps organize Nevut support programs for parents of lone soldiers. Just as he was finally getting settled back home in Monsey, Yacov was called up on October 8 – at night – and rejoined his “Golan” unit. The men in his unit “are his brothers,” Malka said. “Once the war started, he would have joined again even if he hadn’t been called up.” Like any other military mother, Malka is constantly
concerned about her son’s safety, but the anxiety is not new. “Yacov previously served in the IDF for two years and eight months,” she said. “Even when there’s not a war, the soldiers are always in danger. “I’m extremely proud of him.”
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hold. They serve in regular IDF units, including in combat. Not surprisingly, their numbers have soared since the start of the war. Usually when someone fights for a nation other than his own, he’s called a mercenary, in it just for the money. Lone soldiers in the IDF decidedly are not mercenaries. That’s obvious from the fact that many are volunteers, and that those who are paid get a whopping $300 a month, hardly an incentive to leave their home countries and risk death. Their incentive, as one lone soldier put it, is “to come to the aid of Israel and the Jewish people.”
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Rabbi Ari Abramowitz, Dr. Eric Pollak and David Devor on a recent visit
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Common
Cents
By Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST
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Fund with Funds! Understanding Mutual Funds & ETFs
M
utual funds and Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs) are two of the most popular investment vehicles today and are standard features of most investors’ portfolios. While similar in many ways, these two options have some crucial differences that ought to be considered by the prudent investor looking to minimize costs, achieve smart diversification, and manage taxes in their portfolios. History of Mutual Funds and ETFs Mutual funds have a longer history than ETFs, with the first US Mutual Fund created in 1924. They were developed to give small investors access to diversified, professionally managed portfolios. The basic idea was to pool money from many investors to buy a large selection of securities with a defined investment objective. This diversification was meant to reduce risk while providing access to professional management, making investing more accessible to the general public. Mutual funds are strictly regulated, with requirements dictating the percentage of holdings that can be owned by a given fund and annual income distribution requirements. ETFs are a more recent innovation, with the first US ETF appearing in 1993. They were developed as a hybrid of mutual funds and stocks. Like mutual funds, ETFs hold a diversified portfolio of assets. But unlike mutual funds, ETFs are traded on stock exchanges and can be bought and sold throughout the trading day at market-determined prices. ETFs are subject to regulatory requirements similar to Mutual Funds. An important distinction is that Mutual Funds are not bought and sold throughout the day. Instead, their Net Asset Value (NAV) is recalculated daily at the end of the trading day, and that will determine the price at which a buyer or seller can place an order to purchase or sell shares at the next market opening. This contrasts the ETF, which trades regularly throughout the day and experiences fluctuating prices similar to any other publicly traded security. Pros and Cons of Mutual Funds and ETFs Mutual Fund Pros: Diversification: A single mutual fund can hold hundreds of different securities, spreading out the risk of any
given company dropping in value, going bankrupt, or chronically underperforming the broader market. Automatic Reinvestment: Dividends and other distributions can be automatically reinvested to buy more shares. This can do wonders for your portfolio as compound interest will work magic to increase returns over time.
managed mutual funds were able to beat their benchmark index over twenty years, according to a New York Times article from 2022. Often, a passively managed index fund – whether a mutual fund or an ETF- will be a better option for most investors.
Mutual Fund Cons: Costs and Fees: Mutual funds often come with higher fees, including management fees and sometimes sales charges (loads). Limited Trading Opportunities: Mutual Funds are only priced at the end of the trading day, so you can’t take advantage of intraday price movements. Minimum Investments: Many mutual funds require a minimum investment, which can be a barrier for some investors. Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs) Pros: Flexibility: ETFs can be bought and sold like stocks throughout the trading day. Lower Costs: ETFs generally have lower expense ratios than mutual funds. Tax Efficiency: The structure of ETFs often leads to fewer capital gains distributions, making them more tax-efficient.
Making the Choice: Mutual Fund vs. ETF The choice between a mutual fund and an ETF depends on the individual investor’s needs, goals, and preferences. Trading Flexibility: If an investor wants the ability to buy and sell throughout the trading day and take advantage of price fluctuations, ETFs are the better choice. Management Style: A mutual fund might be more appropriate for those who prefer having a professional actively managing their investments and deciding what to buy and sell. However, ETFs are often the preferred vehicle for investors who prefer a passive, long-term strategy that tracks an index. However, investors need to be aware of ETFs’ fees and underlying investment objectives – in recent years, a growing number of complex and riskier ETFs have been issued. For example, investors looking to invest passively in an S&P 500 ETF (ticker: SPX) might inadvertently find themselves invested in a triple-levered inverse S&P 500 ETF (ticker SPXU)…one letter difference in the ticker and world of hurt for the uninformed investor. Costs: Investors mindful of fees might lean towards ETFs due to their generally lower expense ratios and lack of load fees. However, they need to consider other costs like brokerage commissions. Investment Minimums: Mutual funds often have minimum investment requirements, which can be a barrier for some. In contrast, the minimum investment for an ETF is the price of one share, making it more accessible for smaller investors. Tax Considerations: ETFs are often more tax-efficient due to their unique creation and redemption process, which can minimize capital gains distributions. ETFs might be more attractive for investors in higher tax brackets or those concerned with tax efficiency.
Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs) Cons: Brokerage Commissions: Buying and selling ETFs typically incur brokerage commissions, although many platforms now offer commission-free trading. Intraday Pricing Volatility: Prices can fluctuate more than mutual funds since they are traded throughout the day. This can lead investors to trade more frequently and stray off course from their longer-term investment objectives. Professional Management….both a Pro and a Con: Investors can access professional fund managers who make all the buying and selling decisions. These individuals are trained and experienced and spend their days (and often nights and weekends) researching companies, industries, and the economy to make deliberate investment decisions. There have been some good ones in history. Still, it cannot be overstated enough that the ability of a specific fund manager to outperform the market year after year consistently is incredibly small. Less than 10% of actively
Dividend Reinvestment: Mutual funds often make it easy to automatically reinvest dividends, which can be a significant advantage for long-term, growth-oriented investors. While some brokerages offer similar services for ETFs, they are not as universally available. Conclusion Both mutual funds and ETFs offer unique advantages and disadvantages. Mutual funds provide professional management and automatic reinvestment but have higher costs and less trading flexibility. ETFs offer lower costs, tax efficiency, and intraday trading but often lack active management and can incur brokerage fees. The choice between the two depends on personal financial goals, investing style, and the specific circumstances of the individual investor. As with all financial decisions, it’s advisable to consult with a financial advisor to determine the best investment vehicle for your specific needs and goals. Just ensure your advisor is acting in your best interest, not their own. Happy investing! Common Cents is now digital on YouTube @CommonCents613 The decision to start saving and investing is yours, but the “how” can be hard. Email commoncents@northbrookfinancial.com to schedule a free financial planning consultation with our team. Elliot
Pepper,
CPA,
CFP®,
MST
is
Co-Founder of Northbrook Financial, a Financial Planning, Tax, and Investment Management Firm. He has developed and continues to teach a popular Financial Literacy course for high school students.
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Elon Musk – Love Him or Hate Him By Allan Rolnick, CPA
L
ove him or hate him, everyone’s favorite richest man on the planet, Elon Musk, keeps racking up the headlines. Is he a twenty-first-century Edison or Ford, hurtling towards the first trillion-dollar fortune? Will he change the world with his genius for cars, batteries, rockets, and satellites? Or is he a cranky, drug-addled narcissist, costing himself millions every time he tweets or alienates the advertisers rapidly fleeing his social network? It’s not an either/or question. People are complicated. And Musk is certainly more complicated than the average bear. Last week, a fun video started circulating on YouTube that adds a new twist to the Musk saga. The narrator started out by boldly asserting, “I know why Elon Musk bought Twitter, changed the name, and lost $25 billion, on purpose.” We’re all ears! Are you? It turns out that, under this theory, Musk bought Twitter specifically to wreck its value – for taxes. Cratering the company’s value would let him quietly sell the smoking ruins of the old business to a different company he owns, then book a capital loss on the sale. That, in turn, would let him sell Tesla or SpaceX stock with an equivalent amount of gain
without paying tax on it. Genius, right? (Except for the fact that you wrecked the company!) Except, not really. The video says nothing about something called the “related party” rules. Those rules say that if you trade business or investment property to a related party – including a close
billions from their company stock without ever selling – and thus, avoid tax on capital gains – simply by borrowing against it and taking tax-free loan proceeds instead. When the borrower dies, the stock’s basis is “stepped up” to its fair market value as of the date of death, and the gains during their lifetime escape tax
The narrator started out by boldly asserting, “I know why Elon Musk bought Twitter, changed the name, and lost $25 billion, on purpose.”
family member, a business entity you own or control, or a nonprofit you control – you don’t recognize any gain or loss on that sale. That means that if Musk sells Twitter to another company he owns, the loss is suspended until that company sells it to an unrelated party. The theory ignores another attractive reality of controlling a billion-dollar fortune. Tech moguls like Musk can realize
forever. Yes, it means paying ongoing interest instead of a one-time tax. But, as long as the stock continues to grow faster than the debt, the billionaire borrower actually comes out even richer. It’s called the “Buy, Borrow, and Die” strategy. And Musk can tap it any time he wants without the controversy and embarrassment involved in cratering a social network. Having said that, there’s one potential
benefit to be gained by slashing Twitter’s value. Musk borrowed $13 billion from seven lenders to take Twitter private. Now, based on Twitter’s current losses, that debt is estimated to be worth just $11 billion. This creates the opportunity for Musk to buy it back from the lenders at a discount. If he were to do so for, say, $11 billion, he would come out $2 billion ahead by avoiding repayment. Buying the debt like that also avoids the possibility of owing tax if the banks forgive any portion of the debt. Still, it’s a stretch to believe Musk would jeopardize his reputation like he has to save such a tiny fraction of his $200+ billion fortune. Musk has enough money that he can afford to torpedo a company or two. But that won’t help him with taxes, not in the way this particular conspiracy argues. Fortunately, you don’t need to wreck your company to save big. Call us to learn more! And while we’re on the subject of conspiracies, birds aren’t real.
Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.
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In The K tchen
Falafel Stuffed Eggplant Pareve / Yields 8 servings
By Naomi Nachman
Ingredients
◦ 4 mini eggplants ◦ 2 teaspoons kosher salt, divided ◦ 4 Tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided ◦ 1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas (garbanzo beans), rinsed and drained ◦ ¼ cup chopped onion ◦ ¼ cup breadcrumbs ◦ ¼ cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped ◦ 2 Tablespoons tahini paste
◦ ½ cup flat-leaf parsley, coarsely chopped ◦ 1 Tablespoon fresh lemon juice ◦ 1 Tablespoon olive oil ◦ Prepared tahini sauce for topping
Preparation
1. Prepare the eggplant: Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment
paper.
2. Slice eggplants in half lengthwise; score cut sides in a crosshatch pattern. Place
◦ 1½ teaspoons cumin
the eggplant halves, cut sides up, on prepared baking sheet. Sprinkle eggplant with 1
◦ ½ teaspoon ground coriander
teaspoon salt and 3 tablespoons olive oil. Bake for 30 minutes or until slightly tender
◦ ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
and browned. Set aside.
◦ ¼ teaspoon ground red pepper
3. In a food processor fitted with the “S” blade, process chickpeas with onion,
◦ ¼ cup water, plus more for the pan
smooth.
Israeli Salad ◦ 3 plum tomatoes, cut into very small dice ◦ ½ English cucumber, peeled, and cut into very small dice ◦ ½ small red onion, diced
4. Place eggplants into a baking dish. Spoon ½ cup chickpea mixture onto each eggplant shell. Add lemon juice and water to pan to cover the bottom. Bake for 25 minutes or until eggplant halves are tender and chickpea mixture is lightly browned.
5. Prepare the Israeli salad: Combine all Israeli salad ingredients in a bowl. 6. To plate, place eggplant halves on a platter. Top each with ¼ cup Israeli salad; drizzle with prepared tahini sauce.
Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.
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◦ 2 cloves garlic, minced
breadcrumbs, parsley, tahini, remaining olive oil, spices, garlic, and water until
◦ Juice of ½ lemon
JANUARY 25, 2024
As my mother grew up in Israel, she always served some sort of eggplant dish on our Shabbat table, which influenced my love of eggplants. This eggplant dish I created combines my love of falafel, eggplants, and everything that can be found in a falafel.
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