Baltimore Jewish Home - 11-2-23 by Moshe Rubin

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Contents

Dear Readers,

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

COMMUNITY

Around the Community

Community Calendar

Weekday Minyanim Guide

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman

PEOPLE 613 Seconds

FEATURES Life, Surreal

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold

Notable Quotes

Kids Coloring Contest

LIFESTYLES Parenting Pearls

Mental Health Corner

Tech Triumphs

Life Coach

Jewish History

School of Thought

A Boost of Inspiration

Bikur Cholim

Forgotten Heroes

Dating Dialogue

Common Cents

Dirshu

Your Money

In the Kitchen

There are two primary wars currently taking place. The war on the barbaric forces of Hamas, and the war taking place within the media. In reality though, these two wars have melded together in what is now how a modern-day war is fought. Historically, the news cycle was much slower. If a bombing took place in a warzone, it may have taken many hours or days before the world heard about it. The choppiness of the news flow didn’t allow people to react on the fly. Additionally, it was difficult for supporters, and even more so for detractors, of war efforts to galvanize and fuel each other on a global level. In this war, however, every little nuance and micro-story is being broadcast for the world to see. Within seconds of a bombing- we know about it. Within seconds of a protest- we know about it. Within seconds of a politician sneezing- we know about it. And within seconds we’re reacting. The psychological roller coaster of the media stream is exasperated primarily by X (Twitter). A scroll through their feed will have you seething at the reaction of anti-semites worldwide. This is followed by being overcome with emotion as you watch a video of Klal Yisroel joining together in support of each other, only to be knocked down again by some politician screaming for a ceasefire.

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In reality though, as Jews, there’s never been a more liberating time. The feeling of knowing that we’re all united on the side of good is exhilarating. We won’t be brought down by the social deviants and radical Muslims that are parading through our streets. We won’t be able to silence them because they hate us so much. They hate our family structures, they hate our contributions to society, and they hate our love of Hashem. However, what they hate most is our unity. As long as we stay together in this fight against these terrible forces of evil, we don’t need to worry about every little post and every little protest. “Good” will always win out. And, while we may think the news cycle moves fast, we have something that moves a lot faster- our connection to Hashem through prayer. Our Tefillos are connected instantaneously, and the effect is way more powerful than any bomb, any protest, or any Tweet. Wishing everyone a peaceful Shabbos. Aaron Menachem

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Police & Fire 911 Hatzalah 410-358-0000 Shomrim 410-358-9999 NWCP 410-664-6927 Chaverim 410-486-9000 Misaskim 443-265-2300 Chesed Fund 410-340-1000

NEWS Israel

This makes this war so different. The sides are so clear to us- good vs. evil. The lines are drawn and we know exactly how to categorize every country and personality. We know who is with us and who is against us. It may not look pretty, and a follower of the news can easily become despondent.

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The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Empower Yourself-Keeping Our Community Safe Event

n Sunday evening, October 22nd, The Chesed Fund & Project Ezra partnered with The Secure Community Network (SCN) and Shomrim of Baltimore for an informative lecture at Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion to help us empower ourselves and protect our shuls, schools, and community. The Secure Community Network is the official safety and security organization of the Jewish community in North America. Mr. Frank Storch, Director of The Chesed Fund & Project Ezra, dedicated the evening to the yahrtzeit of his beloved mother, Mrs. Hannah Storch, a”h, a true pillar of the Baltimore community. The evening included an enlightening presentation by Mr. Eddy Azcárate, the Deputy Regional Security Advisor of the National Capital Region. He warmly engaged the crowd and utilized his decades of knowledge and experience as a retired Marine, police officer, martial arts expert, and security professional at SCN. Mr. Azcárate shared about how it was important for everyone to first

recognize their strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and limitations and then to “Commit to Action.” Whether the action is to call 911, throw a chair at an assailant, or just be aware of who has medical training and asking them for help, every action helps. He discussed important factors such as different levels of situational awareness and the OODA loop (Observe, Orient, Decide, Act), a military exercise used to make the best and most appropriate decisions. He mentioned some basic and simple security solutions such as locking doors, strengthening door jambs, increased lighting, safety film, alarms, and panic buttons as well as more involved methods such as table-

top exercises that simulate scenarios and how to respond to them. He presented different landscaping solutions and the use of the approach of Crime Prevention Through Environmental Design (CPTED). Mr. Azcárate recommended reviewing current security protocols and plans and tweaking them if necessary. He suggested that if there are no morning and evening routine procedures in place to confirm everything is locked and secure, develop them now and make sure to enforce and maintain them. These methods could be utilized in a school, shul, and even in a person’s home. He spoke about the Run, Hide, Fight approach as the response to an active shooter and how to determine the best course of action. He ended his presentation with the critical need to report any security incidents to SCN through 844-SCN-Desk or at https:// www.securecommunitynetwork.org/ incidentreporting. His comprehensive presentation was invaluable and touched on a variety of important issues that should consistently be considered and reviewed.

Mr. Nathan Wilner of Shomrim then spoke about the ongoing crime situation in Baltimore as well as the current 300% increase in antisemitism. He mentioned the important community responsibility to report anything or anyone suspicious. He reminded the crowd of the importance not to walk alone at night. He also pointed out how much of what Mr. Azcárate presented, we actually may already know intuitively but are important reminders of ways to empower ourselves. Mr. Wilner shared Rabbi Hopfer’s letter instructing the community that on Shabbos and Yom Tov if there is a situation of sakanos nafashos, you must contact 911 and Shomrim immediately. Mr. Storch then concluded the evening with often-forgotten security measures we should take to keep ourselves and our families safe when traveling and stopping at rest stops. The presentation was recorded and is available for viewing at chesedfund.com. For more information on other Chesed Fund & Project Ezra events and literature, visit chesedfund.com.

Georgetown Zionists: A New Voice for Israel on Campus

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olan Drazin, a student at Georgetown University Law Center, was horrified by the October 7th Hamas terrorist attacks – the mass murder of 1,400 people, the maiming of thousands more, and the unconscionable acts of brutality inflicted upon the innocent civilians of Israel. In the days following the barbarism, Georgetown Law had not taken formal action. Although the institution had previously issued public statements in regard to the Ukraine conflict, police shootings of African Americans, the alleged politicization of the Supreme Court, and many other instances deemed ‘troubling’ to the student body, there was no statement here. No statement was made to condemn Hamas or terrorism; no statement to express solidarity with the many Jewish and Israeli students on campus; no statement at all. In this same period, members of the Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) chapter at Georgetown, among others, took to social media in celebration. Drazin’s law school peers openly denied the mass murder of children, while

disputing the status of unarmed civilians – referring to them instead as ‘settlers’ and ‘combatants.’ The vile rhetoric continued, with praise being levelled on the measures of ‘resistance’ taken by the Hamas terrorists. Calls of ‘glory to [our] martyrs’ echoed throughout protests publicized and attended by these same individuals. With many Jewish students feeling unsafe and abandoned by their educational institution, Drazin worked to cofound a new organization – ‘Georgetown Zionists.’ As co-President, he describes the group’s mission as advocacy for the Jewish people’s right to statehood in their ancestral homeland, to foster a sense of community among pro-Israel students and allies, and to raise awareness for the safety concerns affecting Jewish students in and around campus. The group has grown rapidly, reaching 70 members within its first two weeks in operation –making it one of the largest student organizations at Georgetown Law. In this time, it has gained media attention, being featured on FOX News, NBC, OANN, News-

max, and DW (Deutsche Welle). On October 18th, Georgetown Zionists hosted its first event – a feature of Natalie Sanandaji, a survivor of the NOVA Music Festival massacre in southern Israel. In front of a live audience and on Zoom, Sanandaji recounted her experience of fleeing from the terrorists that killed 260 of her fellow festival attendees. Her harrowing story brought forth a call-to-action – people must realize what happened. The world must know that such acts are never acceptable, regardless of political aim or purpose. The murder of innocent civilians will never achieve a just goal, and such an attack must never be allowed to happen again. Georgetown Zionists is planning a major pro-Israel community gathering on campus in the coming weeks.

The ‘Community Call-In’ will include speakers, music, and singing. The goal is to exhibit the strength and determination of the Jewish people in and around D.C., while standing steadfast in their support for the State of Israel. Despite this progress, the group has received callous opposition. Drazin, in addition to other executive members, have received numerous death threats and slanders. In one such case, a disgruntled individual made an attempt to locate his home address. Beyond the personal intimidations, the group’s Instagram page (@georgetown_law_zionists_) regularly receives threats of beheading, anti-Semitic tirades, and tags to graphic content. Instead of backing down from the challenges and risks, Drazin and his fellow Georgetown Zionists remain committed to fighting for what is right. They believe that Israel deserves to exist in peace and security, and that Jews deserve to live without fear and discrimination. They hope that their group will inspire other pro-Israel students across the country to stand up for their values and beliefs.

IN 2023

200+ and patient advocacy cases supported.

100+ families needing medical treatment hosted in our five hospitality apartments.

350

pieces of Over of medical equipment loaned from our Roz Wallin medical equipment & supplies Gemach.

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THE MITZVAH. THE ORGANIZTION. THE IMPACT. JOIN US. provided to recovering patients & their families and in hospital hospitality rooms.

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More than 6,000 meals

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Baltimore City Leaders Rally Behind The Alvin S. Mintzes Hatzalah’s Life-Saving Mission As Councilman Yitzy Schleifer Secures an Historic $1,000,000 For Hatzalah Of Baltimore By: BJLife/Isaac Draiman Photo Credits: Jeff Cohn Photography

n a remarkable display of unity and support for public safety, Baltimore City Mayor Brandon Scott, along with Council President Nick Mosby and Councilman Isaac Schleifer, have joined forces to bolster Hatzalah, an esteemed volunteer-based emergency medical service organization, by securing vital funding. This collaborative effort not only underscores the city’s unwavering dedication to safeguarding its residents but also reinforces the foundations of swift emergency response within the Baltimore community. Hatzalah, renowned for its rapid response times and dedicated volunteer team, has been on a life-saving mission for nearly 18 years. From its modest beginnings with a small group of first responders and a $15,000 donation, it has grown into a formidable operation with five ambulances, a cutting-edge facility, 20 dispatchers, five service units, and a team of 50 all-volunteer responders, including skilled medical professionals. Hatzalah’s

President Elimelech Goldstein pointed out that, Hatzalah has an impressive record including responding to 2,000 calls annually, and offering aid to anyone, regardless of background. The ever-changing economic landscape and evolving emergency response needs have magnified Hatzalah’s role. “The COVID-19 pandemic posed unforeseen challenges, and Hatzalah played a pivotal role in response efforts, partnering with Baltimore City and other government agencies for testing, vaccine clinics, and more. This came at a great financial expense to Hatzalah”, says Executive Director Dovid Heyman. Recognizing the importance of their life-saving work, Councilman Schleifer and city officials have stepped up to secure funding for Hatzalah to not only recover

from the pandemic’s impact but to prepare for the future, replacing aging ambulances and staying ready for the world’s ever-evolving challenges. In the words of Yitzy Schleifer, “I firmly believe that Hatzalah’s impact on our city is immeasurable. Their swift response and dedication has saved countless lives while also saving the city millions of dollars in EMS response. This investment in public safety is an investment in Baltimore’s future.” Council President Nick Mosby added, “The timing of this gift couldn’t have been better. Hatzalah has consistently been there for our community, and I couldn’t think of a more appropriate organization to support. Their work is vital, and this funding will help them continue their life-saving mission.”

As a community we must extend our deepest gratitude to Councilman Schleifer for spearheading the effort to secure the funds needed. His dedication and commitment to the cause have made this partnership with the city a reality, and we are incredibly thankful for his unwavering support. Lastly, our heartfelt thanks go to Mayor Scott and Council President Mosby for their pivotal role in securing the funding and their unwavering commitment to Baltimore City. Their support has been instrumental in strengthening public safety and ensuring Hatzalah’s continued service to the community for many years to come. This collaborative effort underscores the power of collaboration between local government and community organizations in preserving and enhancing public safety.

Chai Lifeline Mid-Atlantic Launches I-Shine Boys Session with Support from TA By: BJLife Newsroom Photo Credits: Jeff Cohn Photography

hai Lifeline Mid-Atlantic welcomed a fantastic group of boys and counselors to our inaugural boys’ session of I-Shine, an after-school club for our families. We extend our gratitude to TA for generously hosting this weekly program and wish to acknowledge

the numerous incredible mentors from TA high school, who, under the

supervision of Yehuda Bazelon and with assistance from Noam Schulman, dedicated their time and talents. A

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Mishna Yomi Community-Wide Siyum on Seder Moed By: BJLife Newsroom Photo Credits: Jeff Cohn Photography

sellout crowd was in attendance at Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah (R’ Eichenstein)

in honor of the completion of Seder Moed from the ever popular Mishna Yomi program. Those in attendance were zoche to hear divrei bracha and chizuk from special guest speaker Rav Moshe Aaron Rosenbaum, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Gedolah Ohr HaTorah of Baltimore. R’ Nissin Katz, a Mercaz Mishnah Yomi magid shiur was mesayem.

delicious pizza dinner was generously sponsored by Mama Leah’s - thank you all!

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Let this be the year you join with our community in showing support and appreciation to those who help keep crime out of our neighborhoods!!

Years Protecting Our Community

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Join us for an enjoyable evening of friendship and support for the police department, government "This is a officials and our very important NWCP volunteers community event. I urge everyone to attend." Rav Yaakov Hopfer

Rav of Shearith Israel President of the Vaad Harabonim

Saturday Night

Information and reservations: 410-664-6927 ext. 8 or email rsvp@nwcp.info Payments and donations: nwcp.info

staiman.com

Donation: $75 per person

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Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion

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November 18, 2023 | 8:00pm

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

The Jewish Community Football League (JCFL) by “Your Kitchen Spot” kicks off 2023 season

n Sunday morning October 15, “JCFL by Your Kitchen Spot” began its 12th season. Prior to the opening week, 80 players were divided between 8 different teams via a draft system, ensuring parity in competition. The teams are named for their individual team sponsors: All State – Yaakov Schmell, ActualEyes, Clothier, M3 Management, Miracle Massage, Sushi Sakura, Tripping Kosher, and Worthy Insurance. Following the draft, teams were provided with their team jerseys, thanks to Fired Up. They also spent quality time meeting the I Heart Remodeling Officiating Crew who along with officiating duties, prepped the Y & L Landscaping fields (at Pikesville Middle) with some assistance from The Maryland Team Grounds Crew, and provided teams with their Stanley Markovitz Orthodontics equipment for the 2023 season. Like previous seasons, all eight teams will compete for seven regular season games, with the top four facing off in the playoffs. The playoffs winners will then battle each other in the league championship, The Goldbergs/ Taam Thai/The Club/Mama Leah’s Bowl, for a chance to take home the Zion IV Trophy. For a recap of some of the excitement from the first few weeks of the season, keep reading:

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Clothier Miracle Massage

19 7

In a season defined by rookie QBs, the Clothier vs. Miracle Message matchup saw a battle between veteran QBs Ezra Bregin and Dan Gutman. Clothier came out of the gate hot with a deep TD to rookie receiver Aryeh Walter. After getting the ball back a few drives later, Clothier sealed another TD drive with a short drop off to TE Simi Wilner. Clothier kept on rolling with a quick interception by Aryeh Walter followed by a first play touchdown over the middle to Mordechai Schiermeyer. Second half adjustments by Miracle Message kept Clothier off the scoreboard the rest of

the game. But Clothier’s lockdown defense, led by defensive linemen Simi Wilner, Miracle Massage was limited to only one TD in the second half.

ActualEyes Tripping Kosher

of Simi Wilner and Co. With a lockdown defensive line led by rookie Dudi May and veteran Eli Dollman, Sushi Sak’s defense forced turnovers with multiple sacks, stops, and picks.

19 15

In a clash that will be etched into the annals of flag football lore, Actual Eyes overcame some early mistakes to beat Tripping Kosher 19-15. In his first season at QB, Dovid Shugarman took the reins at orchestrated a symphony of offensive prowess. His arm was a cannon, launching two perfect spirals that found their mark in the end zone, while his legs and sneaky running ability carried him triumphantly across the goal line for another. But this wasn’t a one-man show; this was a tale of a team already in midseason prime. All-time pro Josh Zaslow, etched his name deeper into the JCFL history books making chain-moving plays that carved through the opposition’s defense. With lightning speed and hands that seemed to have magnets for footballs, he blazed past defenders for a 40-yard TD, an extra point, and also had the game-sealing interception. Mookie Chamdi, a blur on the field, left defenders in his wake as he sprinted all over the field finding the open zones, and catching every ball with ease. Rookie sensation Yoni Levin patrolled the defensive backfield with the grace of a gazelle. His speed and athleticism shut down receivers, breaking up what seemed like certain touchdowns and leaving the opposing offense in disarray. Aryeh Pliskin, grizzled veteran and master strategist, drew up plays with Belichick-like aura. Shragi Rabinowitz, a newcomer to the squad, left his mark with an acrobatic catch that defied the laws of gravity, propelling the team across the field to the one-yard line. The defensive line, a relentless force, was led by the dynamic duo of Neal Gerstman and Moshe Gholian. Despite missing QB hunting pro-bowler DE/ TE Levi Akkerman, they were a tempest, a storm that battered the opposing quarterback with unyielding pressure. Sacks were their currency, and they

Starting with stud CB Gedalia Gelb who came up with the first interception to set the Sak up with their first TD. Asher Meth came down with an additional 2 exceptional picks to give the Sak the upper hand. Things were no different offensively with Josh Kronick holding his own at the line, the Sak had their way with the boys on Clothier, putting together multiple crafty scoring drives to take the win in week 2. The boys of Sushi Sakura are a team to be reckoned with!

Tripping Kosher Yaakov Schmell: Allstate

21 15

Tripping Kosher started the scoring first with a long TD pass to Zack Lerner. Yaakov Schmell: Allstate quickly responded with a score of their own. But Tripping Kosher QB Chaim Fink found Zack Lerner again for another long TD to retake the lead. Schmell Allstate wasn’t ready to call it quits as they scored another TD and on the ensuing drive, sacked Fink in the end zone for a safety. But it was Fink’s defensive play on the next drive, as he pulled in an impressive INT and ran it back for a pick six, which ultimately gave Tripping Kosher the win.

Miracle Massage M3 Management

cashed in at the most opportune times, changing the course of the game. This could be a team that wins it all.

Sushi Sakura Clothier

23 6

Sushi Sakura rose to the challenge in week 2 against the big bad line

33 26

Led by 4 TDs (3 receiving and one pick 6) and 2 interceptions (the second of which sealed the game) from Akiva Stutman, Miracle Massage came back from an early deficit to defeat M3 Management 33-26. Dovid Flamm had 3 INTs and a receiving TD, Tzvi Haber added 2 sacks on defense along with an extra point on offense, and jack-of-few-trades Ozzie Marizan had a sack and broke up a key 4th down pass in the come from behind win. QB Dan Gutman overcame a slow start from the offense to throw for 4 TDs and added a spark on defense in the second half.

11 COMING THIS TUESDAY

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In Marblespoon at Home, bestselling author Vera Newman — whose thousands of fans turn to her for bold, unique, and family-friendly meal ideas — shares a brand-new collection of recipes you will absolutely love, and best of all, they are easy to make, with ingredients that you already have in your home.

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Baltimore Rallies for Israel

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

By: BJLife/Isaac Draiman Photo credits: Frank Storch

n Sunday October 29, 2023 a spirited crowd of approximately 1000 massed in the plaza in front of Penn Station to express their support for Israel and the IDF; to demand the release of those being held hostage in Gaza; and to thank the United States for standing with Israel. Holding signs, flags and banners, Baltimoreans from 28 shuls, synagogues, temples and organizations set aside their religious and political differences to proclaim publicly and with one voice: - That the atrocities perpetrated on October 7 were not committed by militants, extremists, or freedom fighters, but by terrorists whose ultimate aim is to kill Jews, destroy the State of Israel, and spread their murderous ideology; - That they wholeheartedly, and without reservation, support the right of the State of Israel to defend itself, and pray for the safety of the brave soldiers of the IDF, who at this very moment are risking their lives to protect not only the State of Israel, but all Jews throughout the world; - That they thank President Biden and the many other elected officials who expressed their sympathy to the victims of the October 7th pogrom, unhesitatingly described the perpetrators as evil, and committed to provide Israel with the re-

sources it needs to protect its citizens; - That they denounce the universities and colleges which have allowed their institutions to become hotbeds of anti-Israel propaganda and antisemitic propaganda, the moral relativists who equate Israel and Hamas, and the journalists who report as true the lies and blood libels spewed by terrorists; - And finally, that they are confident that the State of Israel will survive this moment of crisis, and that with the help of Shomer Yisroel, HaKadosh Boruch Hu, Israel will remain what it has been since its founding 75 years ago: a safe haven for the oppressed and persecuted, a source of

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Haschalas Chumash at TA!

ast week, 1st grade talmidim at Yeshivas Chofetz ChaimTalmudical Academy of Baltimore celebrated their Haschalas Chumash! The boys read from a Sefer Torah, received their chumashim, and started Bereishis together inside the Chumash.

pride for the Jewish people, and a moral beacon for the entire world. The crowd was addressed by Rabbi Yerachmiel Shapiro (Moses Montefiore), Rabbi Shmuel Silber (Suburban Orthodox), Rabbi Eitan Mintz (B’nai Israel), Caren Leven (BZD), Alexandra Levine, Jewish liaison & community faith leader, City Councilman Yitzy Schleifer, City Council President Nick Moseby, State Senate President Bill Ferguson and rally organizer Jay Bernstein. Prayers for the captives, and for the State of Israel, were recited by Rabbi Yisroel Motzen (Ner Tamid) and by Rabbi Rachel Sabath Beit-Halachmi (Har Sinai - Oheb Shalom). Performing songs were

Chazzan Yoni Rose (Beth Tfiloh), AKA Pella (Dovi Ziffer, Zevi Daniel and Moshe Abramson) and Eli Cohen. In addition to Councilmen Schleifer and Mosby, and Senator Ferguson, the following elected officials attended the rally: City Councilman Zeke Cohen; County Councilman Izzy Patoka; Former Mayor Sheila Dixon; Delegate Sandy Rosenberg; Delegate Dalya Attar; Delegate Mark Edelson; Stephanie Levy on behalf of Congressman David Trone; and Sheriff Sam Cogan. The organizers thank the Baltimore City Police Department and Baltimore City Sheriff’s Department for their presence and professionalism at the rally.

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BJH: What are your day-to-day responsibilities at the Cheder? R’ Chaikin: First off, our staff is amazing, and anything I say that “I” take care of definitely doesn’t mean I do it alone. But officially, all matters outside of the classroom are my responsibility. The building, the staff, the fundraising. And how to fit in the next 100 students that come through the door next year. Things like that! BJH: That’s a big job! Do you manage to sleep at night? R’ Chaikin: Sometimes, mostly during sukkos and pesach!

R’ Chaikin: Great to be here!

BJH: Tell me, without going into all the history of the Cheder, what’s new in recent years? What’s developing over at Cheder Chabad?

BJH: OK, let’s get right to it. I understand you came on board at Cheder Chabad recently, is that right? R’ Chaikin: Yes, I joined two years ago, and it’s been a big z’chus. Educational institutions are really the center of a Jewish community, and Cheder Chabad is no different. It is the breeding ground for future Shluchim around the world and community members who will go out and inspire the Jews around them. To be involved in that, is truly a special shlichus. .

BJH: How do you keep up? R’ Chaikin: It’s really siyata dishmaya, and we work hard. We encourage ourselves — I mean all of the staff — that what we’re doing is our shlichus from the Lubavitcher Rebbe and we are given special kochos from Hashem in order to be successful. We have to find ways to provide the students with whatever they need, no matter how many there are.

R’ Chaikin: What’s new is growth, physically I mean. In the past few years, we’ve doubled in size. We were always growing, but that was a big climb. It’s a big bracha. We have also made significant investment into our curriculum in all departments.

BJH: I understand you’ll be launching a major fundraising campaign, is that right?

BJH: Can you tell me more?

R’ Chaikin: Haha, ok good, glad someone’s reading those emails! Yes, we’ve got a big campaign coming, it’s called “Family, Friends, Teamwork.” And it’s a little different than your average campaign.

R’ Chaikin: We have families in our school with a student in nearly every grade. They are super loyal to us – they love the cheder, and we love

R’ Chaikin: How did you know? BJH: You emailed me about it!

BJH: How so? R’ Chaikin: Well, of course, I want to reach our fundraising goal. But a big focus here was the participation of the parents and friends of the school. If we all get together, and work hard on this, and everyone feels like a real part of the school — which they are — I’ll consider this a success, no matter what we bring in. That’s where the name came from, “family, friends, teamwork,” that’s really what we’re going for. BJH: Is there anything else you’d like to add for our readers? R’ Chaikin: First off, I’d like to add to you personally that I’m expecting a donation from you! BJH: 100%! Bli neder, I’m in. How much are you trying to raise with this campaign, and when will it take place? R’ Chaikin: We aim to raise $500,000 on 2 Kislev-November 15. BJH: Amazing! Thank you so much for speaking with us today. We wish you tremendous hatzlacha with the Cheder. We’re sure it’s going to be an amazing success! R’ Chaikin: Amen!

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BJH: I’m here today with Rabbi Elchonon Chaikin, CEO of Cheder Chabad in Baltimore, ” Rabbi Chaikin, welcome to the interview!

them. On top of that, new Chabad families move in and send their kids our way. On a chinuch level, every department has had an upgrade in the last two years with either additional personnel or resources to provide more tailored and upgraded curriculums and programming. We have also invested more in our teachers with additional training.

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The Week In News

UN Doesn’t Condemn Hamas In a non-binding resolution passed on Friday, October 27, by the United Nations General Assembly, the international organization called for an “immediate, durable and sustainable humanitarian truce” between the state of Israel and the Hamas terrorist organization.

One hundred twenty countries voted in favor of the motion, which was

proposed by Jordan, while 14 voted against it, and 45 remained neutral. While the resolution, which is for the most part a mere symbolic gesture, calls for the release of those abducted, it does not mention the name of or place blame upon Hamas. It did, however, single out Israel, criticizing the Jewish state for telling Palestinians to evacuate north Gaza in what the UNGA calls an attempt “at the forced transfer of the Palestinian civilian population.” The resolution also speaks of the importance of protecting residents of the Gaza Strip by supplying humanitarian aid and help to the area. Before the vote, Gilad Erdan, Israel’s Ambassador to U.N., attempted to convince the pro-Palestinian Assembly to reject the motion by pointing out how Israel is not at war with humans; it is at war with monsters. Erdan showed the General Assembly a video of a Hamas terrorist attempting to behead an immigrant worker from Thailand with the blade of a garden hoe on October 7, the day the Iranbacked terror group invaded south Israel, killing over 1,400 people, abducting more than 200, and injuring

thousands more. Erdan also explained how Hamas is the modern-day equivalent of Nazis and how it doesn’t even care about its own people. Needless to say, Erdan was unable to sway the Assembly. While the resolution initially called for an immediate ceasefire, the language was changed in order to convince more countries to vote in favor of the motion. Several Arab countries, including the United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan, Bahrain, Kuwait, Morocco, and Qatar, have condemned Israel, asserting that the Jewish state’s response demonstrates a “deliberate disregard for the legitimate rights of the Palestinian people.” Prior to the vote, Hossein Amir-Abdollahian, the foreign minister of Iran, told the Assembly that his country would be willing to mediate a hostage and humanitarian deal. He then went on to warn the U.S. that Tehran would not spare it if Washington were to continue supplying military aid to Israel in support of the “genocide in Palestine.” “I warn, if the genocide in Gaza continues, they [the U.S.] will not be

spared from this fire,” said Amir-Abdollahian. “It is our home, and west Asia is our region. We do not compromise with any party and any side, and we have no reservation when it comes to our home security.”

Shani Louk, Hy”d

This week, Shani Louk, a 23-yearold woman who had been kidnapped from the Nova music festival on October 7 by Hamas terrorists, was declared dead. “We are devastated to share that the body of 23-year-old German-Israeli Shani (Louk) was found and identified,” Israel’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs ministry posted on X, formerly known as Twitter, on Mon-

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day. Her demise was confirmed after forensic examiners found a bone fragment from the base of her skull. “She was a beautiful, lively person,” Ricarda Louk, Shani’s mother, said. “She just enjoyed laughing, and experiencing life, and so it was just cut too short.” Sadly, Shani had been shown on videos circulated by Hamas after the attacks. Her body was seen unconscious at the back of a truck driven by Hamas terrorists. Her family had held out hope that she was still alive. Militants blocked off the road to the festival from the north and the south during their October 7 attack, before swarming the sprawling site on foot. They then encircled the crowds on three sides, gunning them down and forcing them to flee over fields to the east. Shani’s mother said, “After three weeks that you have no idea where your daughter is, what they’re doing to her… You don’t know if she’s alive or not, or injured, nothing. It’s just like you’re in a vacuum for three weeks, just hoping to get some signs. “And then suddenly you get the worst news,” she said. “We always had hopes. We were optimistic that she would come back.” More than 260 bodies were found at the Nova festival site itself, according to Zaka, but the death toll could be even higher. Hamas is still holding at least 238 people hostage in Gaza.

Hostage Rescued by IDF Pvt. Ori Megidish is, baruch Hashem, back home. The Israeli soldier had been taken hostage by Hamas terrorists on October 7. This week, Israeli soldiers rescued her in the first successful hostage extrication since the militant group’s October 7 massacre. According to the IDF, Ori was “actively rescued” with “boots on the ground” in a joint operation between the IDF and the Israeli Security Agency (ISA), which is also known as Shin Bet. The IDF had gone into northern Gaza knowing where she was being

held. “It indeed was a special operation that was targeted in specifically getting her out,” IDF spokesperson Lt. Col. Jonathan Conricus said. “They were in there for a job,” he added, saying that he is happy with the outcome as Megidish is “well mentally and physically” and has been reunited with her family. Megidish shared information about her captivity with Israeli intelligence officers that “can be used for the future,” Conricus added. “We are definitely committed to get all of our 238 hostages currently held by Hamas in Gaza, all of them, to get them home,” he said. According to an estimate released by the Israeli Government Press Office last week, 135 hostages holding foreign passports from 25 countries are among those held in Gaza, including civilian men, women, children and the elderly as well as soldiers.

“I would like to convey a message to the hostages and their families, we — the IDF and Shin Bet — are all obligated, we have a moral obligation to return all the hostages home,” IDF Spokesman Rear Adm. Daniel Hagari said Monday evening.

Hamas Official’s Home in West Bank Destroyed On Monday, the IDF destroyed a home owned by senior Hamas official Saleh al-Arouri, in the West Bank town of ‘Arura, near Ramallah. Based in Lebanon, al-Arouri is deputy head of the terror group’s political bureau and considered the de facto leader of Hamas’s military wing in the West Bank. After the building was destroyed, a banner hung by the IDF was found displayed on the rubble depicting a combination of the Hamas and Islamic

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The Week In News State terror group flags along with the slogan, in Arabic, “Hamas=IS.” Al-Arouri, 57, has been vocal since the war started, making statements and giving media interviews in which, among other things, he denied Hamas had targeted civilians, despite incontrovertible proof that its terrorists systematically targeted, abused and massacred noncombatants, including children and the elderly. Israeli security forces took over al-Arouri’s house a week and a half ago, with Palestinian sources saying it then became a “military installation.” A banner had been hung on the building depicting al-Arouri with the Israeli flag in the background. A slogan in Arabic declared, “This was the home of Saleh al-Arouri, now the headquarters of Abu-Nimer, the Israeli Shin Bet.” Al-Arouri is not new to perpetrating terror. According to intelligence officials, al-Arouri had helped plan the kidnapping and murder of Gilad Shaar, Eyal Yifrach, and Naftali Fraenkel in 2014, along with other attacks. He had served several terms in Israeli jails and was released in March 2010 as part of efforts to reach a larger prisoner swap for Gilad Shalit. The terrorist then moved to Istanbul and then to Beirut, from where he manages Hamas operations. He is one of the Hamas officials most closely connected to Iran and the Hezbollah terror group in Lebanon. Last week, al-Arouri met with Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah and Palestinian Islamic Jihad leader Ziad al-Nakhaleh. The three discussed the ongoing war in the Gaza Strip and agreed to coordinate their efforts.

Terrorist Leader Killed in West Bank

Four Palestinian terrorists, including a senior leader, were killed in exchanges of fire with Israeli troops on Monday as

the military conducted a raid in the West Bank city of Jenin. Wiam Iyad Hanoun, 27, identified as a founder of the Islamic Jihad offshoot Jenin Brigade, was killed by Israeli fire, as were three other terrorists, amid heavy fighting in the city’s refugee camp. Troops of the elite Haruv, Duchifat and Duvdevan infantry units, along with Border Police officers and soldiers of the elite Yahalom combat engineering unit, entered the Jenin Refugee Camp along with 100 military vehicles and bulldozers. The bulldozers were used to tear up the streets and build barriers. It also destroyed the arched gate to the city, where terrorists would pose for photos. The soldiers located and destroyed explosive devices hidden under streets, a booby-trapped command room, and a car with ammunition and military gear, according to the IDF. The military wing of the Hamas terror group, the Izz ad-Din al-Qassam Brigades, said it fought Israeli forces entering the city, including by deploying explosive devices, the Palestinian Shehab news site reported The Jenin camp is a major hub for terrorists. In July, the IDF entered the camp for a large-scale two-day incursion targeting the local Islamic Jihad wing, as well as other smaller armed groups. Early Monday, soldiers also raided Nablus, where they arrested a senior Hamas member, Nasr al-Din al-Sha’ar, in his home. The IDF later said troops had detained 51 wanted Palestinians across the West Bank overnight, including 38 Hamas members. Since the war in the Gaza Strip began on October 7, troops have arrested at least 1,030 wanted Palestinians in the West Bank, including more than 700 affiliated with Hamas, according to the military.

Jack Lew Confirmed as Amb. to Israel The U.S. Senate confirmed the nomination of Jacob (“Jack”) Lew on Tuesday to serve as the next American ambassador to Israel. The final vote tally was 53-43, with several Republicans, including Sens. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) and Rand Paul (R-Ky.), voting with Democrats

to approve U.S. President Joe Biden’s nominee. Lew’s nomination was accelerated in the aftermath of the October 7 attacks by Hamas terrorists of southern Israel, which killed more than 1,400 people and wounded thousands more, with as many as 240 people taken captive into the Gaza Strip. Washington insiders told JNS over the summer that Lew, who was seen as a frontrunner to replace Thomas Nides in the position, knows his way around the District and around Israel. Lew, a 67-year-old Orthodox Jew, was White House chief of staff under former President Barack Obama, and he directed the Office of Management and Budget under Obama and former President Bill Clinton. The managing partner of a private equity firm who trained as a lawyer is also a visiting international and public affairs professor at Columbia University. Lew further served as treasury secretary under Obama and was part of the National Security Council in two former administrations. Lew has come under fire for defending the Iran nuclear deal, which he argued would make Israel safer, and for supporting Obama’s decision in 2016 not to veto United Nations Security Council Resolution 2334, which declared Israeli communities in Judea and Samaria illegal. Citing personal reasons, Nides announced his departure in May, noting that he had been away from his family for more than 500 days. U.S. chargé d’affaires Stephanie Hallett, a career diplomat who previously served as deputy chief of mission in Muscat, Oman, and Nicosia, Cyprus, has headed the embassy in Jerusalem since July. (JNS)

As Johnson’s first act as Speaker of the House, he put forward a non-binding resolution supporting Israel, condemning Hamas, and urging the terrorist organization to set all captives free and stop attacking the Jewish state immediately. “The first bill that I’m going to bring to this floor in just a little while will be in support of our dear, dear friend Israel, and we’re overdue in getting that done,” Johnson said during his first speech as speaker, adding that America’s “greatest ally in the Middle East is under attack.” Four hundred twelve people voted in favor of the new bill, 10 voted against, and six voted present. Of the ten who voted to reject the proposal, nine were Democrats who went against the bill because it did not include support for Palestinians. Included in that group of Democrats were Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Ilhan Omar, and Rashida Tlaib. On October 7, war broke out in Israel when thousands of Hamas terrorists invaded the Jewish state, murdering over 1,400 people, wounding more than 5,000, and abducting over 200 Israelis. In response, Israel has been bombing the Gaza Strip and is preparing for a ground attack to defeat Hamas. The U.S. has been supporting Israel and providing military aid. After Johnson’s victory, President Joe Biden congratulated the House Speaker and said that it’s “time for all of us to act responsibly,” in order to avert a potential government shutdown and to help Israel and Ukraine. “I think he’s gonna be a fantastic speaker,” former president and current Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said of Johnson.

Biden’s Order for AI Safeguards Mike Johnson’s in the House After several failed attempts to elect a House Speaker following Kevin McCarthy’s ousting, the Republicans, at last, unanimously chose Louisiana congressman Mike Johnson for the speakership on last week.

President Joe Biden signed a far-reaching executive order on artificial intelligence on Monday, requiring that companies report to the federal government about the risks that their systems could aid countries or terrorists to make weapons of mass destruction. The order also seeks to lessen the dangers of “deepfakes” that could swing elections or swindle consumers. “Deepfakes use AI-generated audio and video to smear reputations,

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The Week In News spread fake news and commit fraud,” Biden said at the signing of the order at the White House. He described his concern that fraudsters could take three seconds of a person’s voice and manipulate its content, turning an innocent comment into something more sinister that would quickly go viral. “I’ve watched one of me,” Biden said, referring to an experiment his staff showed him to make the point that a well-constructed artificial intelligence system could convincingly create a presidential statement that never happened — and thus touch off a political or national security crisis. “I said, ‘When … did I say that?’” The order is an effort by the president to demonstrate that the United States, considered the leading power in fast-moving AI technology, will also take the lead in its regulation. Already, Europe is moving ahead with rules of its own, and Vice President Kamala Harris is traveling to Britain this week to represent the United States at an international conference organized by that country’s prime minister, Rishi Sunak. But the order issued by Biden, the

result of more than a year of work by several government departments, is limited in its scope. While Biden has broad powers to regulate how the federal government uses AI, he is less able to reach into the private sector. Although he said his order “represents bold action,” he acknowledged that “we still need Congress to act.” Still, Biden made it clear that he intended the order to be the first step in a new era of regulation for the United States, as it seeks to put guardrails on a global technology that offers great promise but also carries significant dangers. (© The New York Times)

Ford Workers Return From UAW Strike On September 15, the United Auto Workers union went on strike against the “Big Three” car companies: Ford, General Motors, and Stellantis. Forty-one days later, the UAW and Ford came to an agreement in which the

automaker’s employees will receive a pay raise of about 25% from now until early 2028, along with an immediate 11% raise. Now, workers of the other two companies are waiting for General Motors and Stellantis to follow suit.

A tentative deal was reached last Wednesday and is expected to be finalized in the coming days with the return of 16,600 Ford employees. On Monday, earlier that week, workers of Stellantis’ biggest and most successful plant joined the strike, and a day later, employees of GM’s Arlington, Texas factory, walked out as well. It was because of these major developments that Ford finally decided to agree to the union’s demands, noted Shawn Fain, the UAW’s president. “We knew we were getting close. We hit the companies with maximum

effect,” he said. “Ford knew what was coming for them on Wednesday if we didn’t get a deal. That was checkmate.” “Ford is proud to assemble the most vehicles in America and employ the most hourly autoworkers,” Ford said after the deal was reached. “We are focused on restarting Kentucky Truck Plant, Michigan Assembly Plant and Chicago Assembly Plant, calling 20,000 Ford employees back to work and shipping our full lineup to our customers again.” While the deal will not be finalized until the 57,000 UAW members who work for Ford agree to it, the 16,600 strikers will not wait until that point to continue working, according to Chuck Browning, the vice president and one of the lead negotiators of the UAW. “Like everything we’ve done in this stand-up strike, this is a strategic move,” Browning explained. “We’re going back to work at Ford to keep the pressure on Stellantis and GM. The last thing they want is for Ford to get back to full capacity while they mess around and lag behind.” After the deal was struck, President Joe Biden congratulated the

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Engagements Yechiel Miller (Passaic) & Bracha Prengler (Baltimore) Eliezer Prawer & Shanalu Bronfin (Baltimore) Yudi Treuhaft & Chavi Ely (Both Baltimore) Ahron Shenkman (Staten Island) & Rasha Cohen (Baltimore) Want to see your simcha here? Email mazeltov@baltimorejewishhome.com or text 443-675-6507 to submit your simcha!

The Week In News

18 Killed in Maine

Eye Drops Could be Harmful

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned this week that 26 overthe-counter eye drop products, including those sold under store brands such as CVS, Target and Rite Aid, could lead to a serious eye infection resulting in vision loss or blindness. The agency found “insanitary conditions in the manufacturing facility and positive bacterial test results from environmental sampling of critical drug production areas in the facility” and is recommending the products be recalled.

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By the time he finished shooting, at the bar and the bowling alley, 18 people had been killed and 13 others had been injured, Gov. Janet Mills of Maine said. Afterward, the gunman fled, forcing a major lockdown across the region as hundreds of law enforcement officials searched Thursday for a suspect they identified as Robert R. Card, 40, of Bowdoin, Maine. Authorities warned that he should be considered armed and dangerous. The rampage made Lewiston, a working-class city of nearly 40,000, the latest scene of America’s mass shooting crisis. It also put the region on edge, as police warned residents of Lewiston and nearby towns to stay home as they searched for Card. President Joe Biden, who ordered flags at federal buildings to be flown at half-staff to honor the victims, urged Congress to ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines and to enact universal background checks, among other steps. “This is the very least we owe every American who will now bear the scars

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The familiar rituals of a Wednesday night were playing out at Just-In-Time Recreation, a bowling alley in Lewiston, Maine. Parents and children were there for a children’s bowling league. Bowlers were midway through their weekly games, unwinding after work. Then a man wearing a brown hooded sweatshirt and carrying a military-style semi-automatic rifle walked in. Minutes after attacking the alley, the armed man showed up at Schemengees Bar & Grille, a few miles away, where people were playing cornhole and billiards, and opened fire again.

— physical and mental — of this latest attack,” Biden said in a statement. Rep. Mike Johnson, R-La., the newly elected speaker of the House, did not mention any legislative response as he answered questions about the shooting. “This is a dark time in America,” Johnson told reporters. As police continued their search for the suspect, government buildings, local school districts and universities in the southern part of the state were closed. Businesses across a vast swath of Maine, from beach towns close to the New Hampshire border to towns in the woods nearly 200 miles north, also shut down. Col. William G. Ross of the Maine State Police said Thursday that a vehicle found at a boat landing in Lisbon, Maine, about 8 miles from Lewiston, had been connected to Card. On Friday evening, Card’s body was found by law enforcement at the recycling center where he used to work, ending the manhunt and allowing residents to breathe a sigh of relief. “It will take a long, long time to process this pain, but Maine people have grit, resolve and heart and we will come together through this difficult grieving period and hope for brighter, calmer days,” Sen. Angus King said in a statement. (© The New York Times)

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UAW and Ford “for coming together after a hard-fought, good faith negotiation and reaching a historic tentative agreement tonight.”

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The eye drops, sold under the brands CVS Health, Rite Aid, Target Up&Up, Leader (Cardinal Health), Rugby (Cardinal Health) and Velocity Pharma, are supposed to be sterile. For now, there are no reports of anyone being injured from using these products. Still, the agency says that anyone “who has signs or symptoms of an eye infection after using these products should talk to their health care provider or seek medical care immediately.” They also said that these eye drops should be discarded. Target, Rite Aid and CVS are removing the products from store shelves and will stop selling them online. The products sold under Leader, Velocity and Rugby’s names may still be in some stores or available online and should not be purchased, the FDA said. Earlier this year, the FDA issued a warning not to use several other eye drop products due to microbial contamination. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported the use of eye drops contaminated with a drug-resistant bacteria resulted in some patients experiencing vision loss, surgical removal of their eyes, and death.

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Keep the Change

David Flamm

O 410-616-9186 C 718-404-5598 david@flammins.com

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Pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters might be legal tender, but more than 6,500 pounds of loose change is not a proper form of payment, a Colorado judge ruled last week after a defendant attempted to deliver $23,500 in coins to settle a legal dispute. The judge, Joseph Findley, of Larimer County, said the delivery of more than 3 tons was done “maliciously and in bad faith,” and that the defendant, a welding company, must now pay more for its act. The welding company, JMF Enterprises LLC, and its owner, John Frank, were sued by a custom fabrication company, Fired Up Fabrication LLC, which said it worked as a subcontractor for JMF Enterprises but did not get

paid in full. The companies agreed in mediation to the settlement but the agreement did not specify the form of payment, according to Findley’s order. One day after the payment deadline, on a Friday night, JMF Enterprises attempted to make a “nighttime delivery” to Fired Up Fabrications but company officials rejected it because they at first thought it was a forklift being delivered, according to the judge’s order. The following Monday, “an attempt was made to deliver a heavy metal container of coins that required a forklift to move” to lawyers for Fired Up Fabrications, the order said, but it was “physically impossible” to deliver. Clifford Beem, a partner at Beem & Isley, which represented Fired Up Fabrications, said he was at the law firm’s downtown Denver office when a truck driver called to ask about the location of the freight elevator so he could deliver the coins. Beem said that the office is in a 100-year-old building and could only hold a maximum of 3,000 pounds on its freight elevator. The driver said the delivery was “well over” 6,500 pounds, he said. After the failed coin delivery attempt, JMF Enterprises declined to pay the settlement by check, arguing that the coins were legal tender, the judge’s order said. Findley ruled Oct. 23 that the payment must be made in the form of a check, certified bank check or any other manner that both parties agreed to. The judge ordered JMF Enterprises and Frank to pay additional fees related to the costs of extending the case and dealing with the coin payment. (© The New York Times)

The Big Cheese

Move over, mozzarella, there’s a champion cheese in town. On Friday, a Norwegian blue

The Week In News

You’re never too old to make the trek. Alfredo Aliaga is proof of that. The 92-year-old, who was born in Spain, is now the oldest person to have hiked the Grand Canyon from rim to rim. Aliaga was accompanied by his daughter, North Carolina resident Anabel Aliaga-Buchenau; his son-inlaw, Jurgen Buchenau; and a pair of volunteer witnesses on his 24-mile trek, which totaled more than 21 hours of hiking. Aliaga, who had previously hiked the Grand Canyon several times, was greeted by a crowd of up to 100 supporters as his hike came to a close. “It was wonderful,” Aliaga enthused. “[They’re] all saying, ‘OK, Alfredo! You made it!’ It was really unique.” Aliaga is now believed to be the oldest person to cross the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim on foot, a record currently held by John Jepkema, who was 91 years and 152 days old when he completed his own hike in March. Aliaga said whether or not he is awarded the Guinness World Records title, he is planning to hike the Grand Canyon again next year. Continued on 27

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A man dressed in a banana costume sought to slip out of police custody after being caught this week doing something illegal in Key West. Cops were flagged down by pedes-

From Rim to Rim

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A Slippery Offender

trians who told them “about a white male in a banana costume” who had been using the sidewalk as a bathroom. Police then spotted Kyle Mortimer, who took off as cops approached. While the 20-year-old was “zig zagging” to prevent capture, a second cop grabbed him by the peel. Mortimer then twisted and pulled away, before one of the cops used a leg sweep to knock him to the ground. Even then, Mortimer “interlaced his fingers and held them tightly together” in a bid to stymie his handcuffing. Mortimer was then arrested by police. He may just “appeal.”

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cheese bested contenders from around the world to become the world’s new No. 1 cheese. The cheese, Nidelven Blå from cheesemaker Gangstad Gårdsysteri, vied against the crème de la crème of the cheese world in Trondheim, Norway, in the world’s largest global cheese event. Organized by the Guild of Fine Food, the World Cheese Awards, now in its 35th edition, saw experts from across the globe join forces to crown this year’s champion. This year marked a record-breaking year for the competition, with 4,502 cheeses, the highest number ever, arriving “by boat, truck, train and plane” to be judged by an esteemed panel of cheese experts. After a long day of deliberations, this year’s winner was finally chosen in front of a live audience by a carefully assembled “super jury,” including the Ambassador of Food Culture at Whole Foods Market in the U.S., after the entrants had been whittled down to a final 16. The judges had delectable things to say about Nidelven Blå, a semi-solid, blue mold cheese, made with pasteurized cows’ milk. “It has this sort of short creaminess, like real dense fudginess,” said one judge. Another called it “the perfect blue cheese.” A third remarked on its balance and “fruity overtones, maybe some wine-like characteristics that really speak. It’s a very unique language.” Sounds really “gouda.”

Parenting Pearls NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Emotional Balancing Acts

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By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

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e’re different now than we were before Simchas Torah. Previously, when someone asked how you were doing, you had an answer. Now, we’re hesitant to even ask the question. Many are walking around in a daze, experiencing increased anxiety, anger or uncertainty. We’re not back to normal, and there’s no reason to think we should be. Along with all those turbulent emotions, many of us are finding it a challenge to function normally and do our everyday tasks. It always feels awkward to start an article with disclaimers, but I’ll have to break that rule this week. Generally, I like to think the topics I cover are rather universal. Parenting and children are a worldwide phenomenon. I’m writing from New York. I’m sitting comfortably in a temperature-controlled room with the only flying objects originating from the hands of someone who still can’t claim their age in double digits. I don’t presume anything I say in this article should be applied to our brethren in the Holy Land. They are living in a situation I can’t even begin to understand.

Additionally, I won’t be so presumptuous to assume I understand the needs of close family members of the hostages, the chayalim bravely serving their country, nor those civilians in the most sensitive zones. While I am fortunate to have family and close friends in Eretz Yisroel, they all are in less affected areas, baruch Hashem. I didn’t want to write an article on self-care. It’s an important topic, and I’ve covered it on more than one occasion. More importantly, it seems inappropriate to discuss relaxation techniques and ways to pamper ourselves during the current situation. For many of us, that’s the furthest thought from our minds. Even asking or answering the innocent question of “how are you doing?” has become more complicated with many of us unsure what is appropriate. Rather than “self-care,” I prefer to think of this topic as “self-regulation” or maintaining our emotional balance. While there are formal definitions for the term “self-regulation,” I’m not using it in the official way. How is regulating yourself different from self-care? Honestly, there are

many similarities, but the overall goal is different. Self-care connotes more pampering, while self-regulation is meant to keep you sane and functioning. We can only get through the day as effective parents and do our jobs of properly raising the next generation when we are able to maintain some measure of focus and emotional stability. Even with the situation in Israel being so painful, our children still need us. I could argue they need us even more when there is so much uncertainty around them. They, too, are confused about what happened and are finding it a challenge to comprehend the incomprehensible. Additionally, it’s certainly not a zechus for Eretz Yisroel’s success if we’re yelling at our kids or walking around with a perpetual short fuse. Nobody benefits from us losing control or being unable to function. It’s emotionally complicated. We’re in pain over what’s happenin,g and the news is giving us up-to-date awareness of each difficult step. We want to know what’s going on and be nosei b’ol with our people. How can we go about our

everyday lives when so many can’t? Alternatively, being continuously focused on pain and suffering can risk our own emotional health. Checking the news can be near obsessive, and the pain can be overwhelming. The more we think about it, the more we recognize the depth of the suffering. Each person needs to decide on their own how much they can handle and at which point they need to take a step back. We need to be tuned into our needs and regulate ourselves. Each person will have their own personal balance, and we shouldn’t look to others to gauge our needs. Even if we think others are doing more or that we should be doing more, we need to be honest with ourselves about our capabilities. If our family is suffering, then we are not truly benefiting others. There are different ways to tell that we’ve crossed that line, but we can use our outward behavior and inner emotions to guide us. If our behavior towards others is damaging or negative, then we know we’re losing more than we’re gaining. And, if our internal feelings of stress or anxiety feel debilitating, then we know that’s another sign

Continued on 28

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If you’re looking for a large home for your beautiful family, consider this large California home on the market now for $1.55 million. The catch? The six-bedroom home in San Jose also has a meth lab – along with its contamination. According to the listing, the house is in a “great location,” with easy access to the freeway, and affords more than 2,700 square feet of living space. It’s an easy commute for those working in Silicon Valley. The quiet neighborhood, along with its backyard filled with fruit trees, adds to its allure. There are three-anda-half bathrooms, a swimming pool, a luxury spa, garage parking for one car, solar panels and air conditioning throughout. Don’t forget the drug den, though. “Great opportunity to own a large home on a large 6,000sqft lot,” says the listing on property website Redfin before acknowledging, “Home has inactive Meth lab and meth contamination. “Home has not been cleared of contamination and will be transferred to the new buyer in its current state.” The home’s previous owner, Peter Karasev, was arrested in March on suspicion of attacking electricity transformers. Police searching his house found the meth lab along with a weapons stockpile including guns and “homemade liquid explosive, multiple energetic homemade destructive devices,” according to a police press conference at the time. Karasev had been living in the house with his wife and three young children. We’re going to pass on this opportunity.

A couple in Taiwan getting married decided on the perfect venue: a nearby trash heap. Decked out in a tux and gown for a photo shoot, Iris Hsueh and her fiancé decided to have an “environmentally friendly wedding.” Iris is a campaigner for Greenpeace, an environmental group. The couple is asking guests at their wedding, to be held in January, to bring their own containers for taking home leftovers. Deciding that showing – not telling – was a more effective communication method for the importance of the cause, the Taipei-based couple traveled three hours south for a photo shoot in Puli township, where the amount of trash brought to a local dump has steadily risen over the years. “If any guests are not willing to bring along a container, I would show them the photograph and say, ‘Would you reconsider?’” the 33-year-old told AFP. The photos ended up garnering media attention, although Iris says, “I didn’t think it would create such a big sensation.” Trash in Puli township has increased exponentially over the past few years. “Two years ago, it was (five to six stories) high and the smell was even worse. It became unbearable to work here,” the sanitation chief said. He called the young couple’s methods at bringing attention to the matter “meaningful.” “The young are very creative compared to us older folks.” Iris said that her friends and relatives had promised to rethink how much waste they created in their daily lives. But she is just happy about the conversation her photos have started. “If possible, we should bring our own reusable utensils, mugs and containers. Cut down on your consumption and avoid single-use plastics.” And for the big day? “I hope to see everyone with a container on my wedding day,” the bride added. That’s one way to tie the knot.

Developing Bnei TorahWith A

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“You cannot say, ‘I am too old to do things,’” the nonagenarian said. “I am healthy and happy.” Sounds really grand.

Parenting Pearls saying perek after perek on our own. that we’re not handling things well. This is the time when relaxation There is something so powerful in the techniques or “self-care” tips can be words of Dovid Hamelech, and we’re clinging to that strength. helpful. Taking a few minutes to regain My nephew’s yeshiva was one among our emotional balance can do amazing By Sara Rayvych, MSEd things for helping us be there for our- many that opened early so their Torah learning could contribute to the war efselves and others.

simply do something as a zechus or join one of the many local initiatives to provide direct help to Israel. Our community has every chessed opportunity you could imagine and even some you couldn’t. We’ve sent toys to displaced children, raised money for IDF gear,

an to ,I er a

itnts ne le ay ur vto

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Keeping a Focus Being aware of our own and close family’s needs certainly doesn’t mean we ignore our greater family in Eretz Yisroel. Kol Yisroel areivim zeh la’zeh, and their needs are ours, too. Additionally, it is helpful for us to know we are helping and assisting them in some way. We can keep davening for our brave chayalim, the innocent hostages, and Klal Yisroel in Israel and beyond. We know that it’s really Hashem Who wins wars and is our ultimate Shield. Speaking to The One in charge is truly how we can contribute towards the cause. It also gives chizuk to others to know we are praying for them and keeping them in our hearts. Along with davening comes Tehillim, and there are groups working together to finish the sefer, along with all of us

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we h. ne an sk nd xot to se dly

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

motional Balancing Acts

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We can only get through the day as effective parents and do our jobs of properly raising the next generation when we are able to maintain some measure of focus and emotional stability.

forts. Torah has long been one of our secret weapons. Whether you join or listen to a shiur, pick up a new favorite sefer or review the parsha, even a few minutes makes a difference. There are many opportunities to do mitzvos, especially chessed. We can

and composed hand-written letters for our soldiers. There are unlimited options, and you’re sure to find one that you can contribute to. For those who are interested, you can still bring handwritten letters and pictures to Tutus and Suspenders (574 Central Ave. in

many similarities, but the overall goal is everyday lives when so many can’t? different. Self-care connotes more pamAlternatively, being continuously pering, while self-regulation is meant focused on pain and suffering can risk to keep you sane and functioning. We our own emotional health. Checking the can only get through the day as effecnews can be near obsessive, and the pain tive parents and do our jobs of properly can be overwhelming. The more we think raising the next generation when we are about it, the more we recognize the depth able to maintain some measure of focus of the suffering. Each person needs to and emotional stability. decide on their own how much they can Even with the situation in Israel behandle and at which point they need to ing so painful, our children still need take a step back. We need to be tuned us. I could argue they need us even into our needs and regulate ourselves. more when there is so much uncertainEach person will have their own perty around them. They, too, are confused sonal balance, and we shouldn’t look to about what happened and are finding it others to gauge our needs. Even if we a challenge to comprehend the incom- think others are doing more or that we prehensible. should be doing more, we need to be Additionally, it’s certainly not a honest with ourselves about our capazechus for Eretz Yisroel’s success if bilities. If our family is suffering, then we’re yelling at our kids or walking we are not truly benefiting others. around with a perpetual short fuse. There are different ways to tell that Nobody benefits from us losing control we’ve crossed that line, but we can use or being unable to function. our outward behavior and inner emoIt’s emotionally complicated. We’re tions to guide us. If our behavior toin pain over what’s happenin,g and the wards others is damaging or negative, news is giving us up-to-date awareness then we know we’re losing more than of each difficult step. We want know we’re gaining. our internal and feelLiketo or Follow us onAnd, ourif Socials what’s going on and be nosei b’ol with ings of stress or anxiety feel debilitatreceive $25ing, offthen ofwe your Duct Cleaning our people. How can we go about our know that’s another sign

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Cedarhurst). This is one way that even children can be involved.

When It’s Too Much We shouldn’t let embarrassment prevent us from getting help when we need it. Please reach out to a friend, mentor, or mental health professional if you’re having trouble regulating your emotions or being available for your personal or your family’s needs. Sometimes having an adult receiving the appropriate support is the best way to ensure the children are getting their emotional needs met. We are going through a challenging time period, and we anxiously await Hashem’s ultimate yeshua. Keeping ourselves regulated can help us continue to be there for those that matter the most. I look forward to once again being able to proudly say, “Baruch Hashem, I’m doing great.”

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at Rayvych Homeschool@gmail.com.

are cordially invited to learn about TA's Mesivta at our

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Sunday Nov. 19

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Mental Health Corner When Therapists Engage in Self-Disclosure

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

oshe was in therapy for OCD, and the therapist disclosed that he also had OCD and that is why he became a therapist. Sarah was in therapy for depression, and the therapist disclosed that for a year after she had a baby she was on anti-depressants. Shimon told his therapist that he went to Alaska on vacation, and the therapist then spent five minutes discussing his vacation that he had in Alaska some years earlier. Leah, who is struggling with parenting issues, asked her therapist if she ever dealt with similar issues. The therapist briefly disclosed her personal struggles in this area. These are all examples of therapists engaging in self-disclosure. The therapeutic relationship is a unique experience that does not resemble other “normal” relationships. As such, the question is often asked if it is appropriate for a therapist to disclose personal information to the client. How does a therapist respond if a client asks the therapist a personal question? What are the risks and benefits of self-disclosure? In this article, we will present some food for thought about this thorny issue. The first point that we must bear in mind is that the relationship between the therapist and the client is not reciprocal. Rather, it is a one-way relationship. The therapist is

Tech

there to help the client, and not vice versa. The ability of the therapist to help the client requires that the therapy room be a place where the client feels safe to disclose without fear or judgement. This is only possible in a one-way relationship. Therefore, the entire discussion around therapists engaging in self-disclosure is if this is beneficial for the client or not. It would be extremely inappropriate for a therapist to disclose for personal reasons. This short and simple point is not so simple at all! We are all human beings and are prone to fooling ourselves and being in denial. The therapist might think that the disclosure is for the benefit of the client, but in reality, the therapist might just enjoy talking about himself and is going on an ego trip. Perhaps, the therapist wanted to get something off of his chest, and now the roles of the client and therapist are being flipped. For this reason, top-notch therapists invest in ongoing supervision in order to have a professional and objective person scrutinize their practice and guide them through issues such as these. With this introduction, here are some of the positives and negatives of self-disclosure: Positives The Therapeutic Relationship – The bedrock of successful psychotherapy is a

positive rapport between the therapist and the client. When the therapist does not disclose at all, he or she might come across as standoffish and impersonal. This is especially true if the client asks the therapist a benign question. If the client asks, “What did you do this weekend?” it might be a bad idea to say, “It is inappropriate for a therapist to share anything personal in therapy.” Feeling Understood – Many people feel that only someone who shares their unique experiences can really understand them. Therefore, if your therapist never had personal experiences that resemble yours, you might wonder if the therapist really gets you. In such a case, it can be transformative for the therapist to briefly share that they also had a similar experience. This way the client feels truly understood. Modeling Authenticity – A client cannot tap into the full benefit of therapy unless the client is authentic and is willing to share and be vulnerable with the therapist. A therapist engaging in small doses of self-disclosure can be a model for the client. Negatives Risk of Backfiring – Self-disclosure may backfire. Any amount of self-disclosure, even when done with the noblest motives, carries a certain amount of risk. The client might perceive it as inappropriate and might judge the therapist for his or her own

moral shortcomings. No Confidentiality – Therapists are bound by codes of confidentiality. Clients are not. Anything the therapist tells the client may end up spreading if they share this with others. Burdening the Client – Some types of self-disclosure can shift the focus from the client onto the therapist. For example, if a therapist discloses that he or she is not sleeping well at night because his or her parent has been hospitalized with a severe illness, the client will come to therapy feeling a need to sooth and comfort the therapist. This shift of focus can potentially curtail the effects of therapy. What is the bottom line? Self-disclosure can be incredibly helpful for the therapeutic process, but only when done skillfully in the right way and in the right amount. It is similar to medication. Taking the wrong drug or the wrong dose is extremely dangerous. But when it is delivered in the right way with the right dose, it can be lifesaving. This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp. org

Triumphs

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Giving and Getting By Rebbetzin Sara Gross

ch, I’m old already, what do I use my smartphone to do? I use it for some Tehillim WhatsApp groups, FaceTime-ing my grandchildren, and a little banking. Filters are for those who are using their phones to look at things they shouldn’t, not for old people like me. Or so I thought. I got a call from my daughter the other day, and she asked me a favor. She lives in Monsey, and her high schoolaged daughter had to agree to a few technology rules before school started. The school required their students to sign a paper agreeing not to go on an unfiltered internet device. Her daughter came to her,

uncomfortable, and said, “I can’t sign this paper because when Bubby comes, I always use her phone and it’s not filtered.” My daughter paused for my reaction. I swallowed audibly and said, “Ok, I’ll go to TAG and put a filter on my phone.” My daughter was so appreciative, and my granddaughter was too. Then I started thinking that it would not just be for her, I would gain too. Why should I see any picture that would pop up without me asking or without my interest? There were things that I didn’t want to see that I couldn’t control. Doing this for my children and grandchildren was my first impulse, but I actually gained my own control in the end.

DID YOU KNOW: Cricut machines are all the rage among creative families and children. With these machines, you can produce professional-looking labels and designs for all sorts of surfaces. However, using the machine requires access to the Cricut app, which can work on a laptop but requires an internet connection. More than that, when the internet device has a filter installed you’ll need to set up a special exception to bypass the filter for the app. This means anything accessible within the app, including clip art, design ideas, and interaction with other designers worldwide, will be unfiltered. There is content on the app many would find objectionable, especially for their children.

There are alternatives to Cricut that don’t require internet access or even a PC. For instance, the Silhouette Cameo does require a PC for its initial setup, but afterwards its app will work offline. The Brother ScanNCut, doesn’t even require a PC. It allows you to scan in your own designs, and provides access to a wide array of built-in designs you can select and edit on its integrated screen. If you do opt for the Cricut over these alternatives, it’s recommended that you supervise activity on the unfiltered app. Curious children might inadvertently explore the app and come across content that you may not be comfortable with.

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Torah Thought

Rising from the Ashes By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

fter the angels conclude their mission in bringing the good tiding of Yitzchok’s future birth, Avraham escorts them on their way out. Unbeknownst to Avraham they were on their way to destroy Sodom and save Lot. G-d realizing that Avraham is in the dark regarding this plan feels compelled to reveal to Avraham His intention, after all Avraham is destined to become a mighty nation, and will instill his progeny with the values of kindness and justice, it is only appropriate that he be informed. Avraham’s immediate reaction to the news is to intercede and appeal to G-d to save the five cities in the region if each of them possesses ten righteous men. The merit of this nucleus of righteous souls would encompass the entire city, even the wicked among them, warranting their being spared. G-d readily accedes.

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Worrying that perhaps there weren’t even fifty righteous men among the populace; Avraham continues to bargain with G-d for mercy. But before making his next proposal, Avraham interjects with a now famous statement. Behold, I desired to speak to my Lord although I am but, ‫—עפר ואפר‬ dust and ash. Avraham then goes on to request of G-d that in the event there are only forty-five righteous men, with only nine worthy men per city, would He also be so benevolent in saving all the inhabitants? Why did this second petition justify a preface and his original plea did not? What was the purpose of this introductory remark?

On the face of it, it would seem that Avraham feared he may appear audacious in being so brazen to question G-d’s decision and therefore asserted his utter sense of humility and unworthiness before G-d before making his next pitch. If that be the case shouldn’t Avraham have made that clear from the get-go even before he initiated any defense on behalf of Sodom? From the onset it seems evident that the specific presence of a quorum of ten men, transforms them from being viewed merely as individuals into a representative grouping that reflects positively on the entire populace, thus justifying the whole city escaping punishment. What then would be the logic in beseeching that nine should be sufficient? Rashi quoting the Midrash explains that Avraham suggested that G-d Himself, the Righteous One of the world, will be counted with them, bringing each group to the magic number ten. Perhaps it was precisely due to the innovation of this unique and very bold proposition that Avraham reiterated his lack of any pretentiousness in his request. The greater question that begs is how can G-d serve as a contributing member of the requisite ‘ten’ righteous men? Isn’t the justification of this grouping being a saving grace for the entire city predicated on their having maintained a community of righteousness despite the negative influences around them? How can G-d then possibly factor into the equation? Avraham chooses to describe himself in modest terms comparing himself to dust and ashes. Why does he

choose these lowly entities specifically to symbolize humility? Rashi elucidates, quoting the Midrash, that Avraham was referring to his nearly being trampled into ‘dust’ in his battle with the kings, and his almost turning into ash in the furnace of Nimrod, if not for G-d’s mercies that stood by him. If you think about it, if this indeed was his intent, then he wasn’t necessarily being humble as much as he was being grateful. Avraham was expressing the reality that if not for G-d’s intervention he would’ve perished, becoming dust and ashes. It certainly stresses his attributing his salvation entirely to G-d’s benevolence without taking any credit to himself, a lesson in humility no doubt, but then the reference to dust and ashes is merely tangential, not the crux of his statement. So why then did he emphasize, ‫עפר‬ ‫ —ואפר‬dust and ashes? Additionally, we wonder as to why the reference to the dust of battle is made first and then mention of the furnace of Nimrod. Chronologically, the episode of Avraham being cast into the fire preceded the battle of the kings. Years ago, my beloved late father, Mr. Morris Teichman, made a marvelous observation. If you analyze the two words ‫עפר‬and ‫אפר‬, they both possess the letters ‫פר‬, which means bull, with one word beginning with the letter ‫ע‬, which is numerically equivalent to 70, while the other begins with an ‫א‬, corresponding to the number 1. He suggested that it cryptically alludes to the ‫ —עפר‬the ‘seventy’ bulls that were brought in the Temple over the seven days of Sukkos, and the ‫—א‬ the ‘one’ bull that was brought on the eighth day, Shemini Atzeres. The 70

bulls, we are taught, correspond to the 70 nations, whom we acknowledge with the bringing of these sacrifices, and the lone bull, representing the Jewish nation and its exclusive relationship with G-d alone. Avraham, my father explained, was declaring his right to advocate for Sodom for after all he was called Avraham, since he was the, ‫ — אב המון גוים‬father of a multitude of nations, and thus entitled to represent their interests. It is for this reason Avraham mentions ‫עפר‬and ‫אפר‬ at this juncture. I subsequently discovered that remarkably the Vilna Gaon, as well as the famed Mekubal and disciple of the Maggid of Mezritch, Rav Yitzchak Issac Katz of Koritz, note this idea. There were two pivotal events in the early days of Avraham’s ascent. The incident with Nimrod depicted the unique relationship Avraham had with G-d. One man struggling alone against an entire world, facing pressures from family and his community, overcoming many obstacles, and finally defining and discovering himself, fortified by the knowledge of G-d’s love and constant encouragement. The second episode took place after Avraham and Sarah had conquered the hearts of all whom they encountered, enlisting a family of thousands of admirers and disciples who were ready to transform a world of dark pagan beliefs into a realm of light, meaning and benevolence. The battle with the kings displayed before the world arena the hope and promise that is in store for those honest enough to see the truth in all its glory and commit to live by its principles. The seventy bulls, commemorating the 70 nations, that we bring on

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Torah Thought Sukkos are not brought on their behalf, but are rather an expression of our role as the chosen nation, whom through properly fulfilling its mission will inspire and uplift all the nations of the world to a common higher ideal. It is the full manifestation of that which began during Avraham’s victory over the four kings, which symbolized the four exiles we would be destined to endure as a nation, in eventually realizing our potential greatness. On Shemini Atzeres we stand though alone, with merely one bull in hand. G-d summons us for a private audience, pining to experience just one more moment of exquisite closeness before we part. We stand before G-d on that day, devoid of the ‘weapons of victory’— the four species, exposed and vulnerable — no longer in the shelter of the Sukkah, presenting our weaknesses, failures, and challenges. Yet, even though we have not yet succeeded in completing our mission as a nation in bearing the standard of Torah perfectly to the point of total triumph

over our 70 antagonists, nevertheless G-d embraces us, encouraging us to never give up, to continue our struggle. He cherishes our devotion even in the face of failure; our striving to get closer; our refusal to give up. It is in those battles that G-d sees how deeply we yearn for His closeness. This is reminiscent of that lonely moment when Avraham stood before the lapping flames of Nimrod’s furnace, unaccompanied but for the abiding invisible presence of G-d, he knew would never forsake him. Perhaps therein lays the answer to all our questions. Initially Avraham remained confident, without need for any introduction, that were there to be a cadre of ten righteous men yet among the mongrels of Sodom, G-d would certainly consent to save a city in the hope that their light will conquer the darkness. But how can Avraham expect G-d

to spare the populace if only individuals remain? Avraham therefor prefaces and states, “Although I am ‫ — עפר‬dust, conjuring the imagery of his victory over the four kings where the legions of righteous defeated the corrupt masses, but I am also ‫ —אפר‬ash, the champion of those individuals who despite being isolated, never accept defeat, battling ceaselessly towards greatness.” Perhaps, that is the deeper meaning in the sentiment that G-d, the Righteous One of the World, should be ‘ — literally, ‘join’ with them — not merely being ‘counted’ — attaching Himself to them, connoting a close personal relationship that is at times more evident among those who seek Him isolated, without the benefit of the support from society or compatriots.

that G-d will raise up the ‫סכת דוד הנו־‬ ‫ — פלת‬the fallen Sukkah of David, a metaphor for the Temple. The Maharal teaches that a Sukkah even when it falls is still called a Sukkah and can rise to its former status, as opposed to a house that collapses must be rebuilt totally anew. Perhaps it is that unique ability to continuously rise up after one has fallen repeatedly that this title of ‘fallen one’ extols. The message of the ‫ — א‬the ‘one bull’, must accompany us in all the challenges we face. We may be down, but never out. We are assured that if we bounce back despite our failures, Avraham’s prayers will intercede on our behalf and guarantee us success! May we merit greeting the ‘fallen one’ very soon. You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com

The Talmud refers to the Mashiach as ‫ — בר נפלי‬the ‘fallen one’, alluding to the prophecy of Amos who states

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Life C ach

What More Can I Do? By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS

ife has shrunk. It’s as if we put it in the washing machine, and it came out way way smaller. There’s a lot we can talk about, but everyone has mainly one thing on their mind: “What more can I do?” It’s sort of a good dilemma to have. For some, they have clarity at this time. They are completely focused and

have found their niche. Many have even started organizations. Some have been cooking for the army or community. Many are attending events whenever possible. But so many feel lost. What I think people should remember is that they have a lot of knowledge already as to what they can do. Just think of that poem by Robert Ful-

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ghum, “All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.” That would be great to tap into. No, not how to play with play dough or to finger paint. But as the poem remind us: “Share everything” – reach out to others. Even if it’s not with items, give emotional sharing and support. That’s part of the everything you’ve got. “Play fair” – in all your dealings.

Smile at people more. You may not know it, but it makes their day. And when you don’t, it affects others more than you know. We have a lot of power in the simple things that we do or don’t do. It’s not always the big things that you need to do. It’s the little things that often get overlooked. So, as this time has shrunk our focus, let it also, at times, shrink our goals.

You will have done something huge, even if it seems small to you.

“Don’t hit people” (as some have and worse). “Clean up your own mess” – you can even help others clean theirs. “Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.” And “Don’t take things that aren’t yours” (like the country of Israel)! You don’t really even need to think big. Small things have a huge impact.

Of course, do all the amazing things you can. But remember family, friends, neighbors, and people who are just in your path each day need love and attention in ways we’ve all neglected to give them. Increase your kindness, caring, and sensitivity. And in doing so, you will have done something huge, even if it seems small to you.

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‫נצ‬ ‫ל‬ ‫ה‬

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Jewish History

Pogromists Posing For Photos By Rafael Medoff

he Hamas tactic of using social media to publicize videos of its atrocities against Jews may seem to be a 21st century innovation, but using cameras to boast about genocide actually has a precedent, in the Holocaust. Hamas and its supporters have utilized various social media platforms to show off scenes of October 7 pogromists kidnapping, torturing, and assaulting their Israeli victims. In some cases, they have uploaded these gruesome “trophy videos” to the social media accounts of the victims, in order to intensify the suffering of their distraught families. Some of it was livestreamed on Facebook. The technology is new, but the mindset isn’t. The Nazis, too, were deeply proud of their mass murder of Jews. But they were concerned that photographs of the atrocities might be used as evidence in war crimes trials later. For some reason, the pogromists from Gaza do not seem to be worried about that. The Nazis also thought that if evidence of their genocide reached the Free World, the Allies would intervene to rescue the Jews. They needn’t have been concerned about that. For those reasons, German officials prohibited individuals from photographing the killings. Only officially-assigned photographers were given access to mass killings, so that photos would not reach outside eyes. But some leaked out anyway. The reason the June 1941 massacre of Jews in German-occupied Kovno, Lithuania, is so well-documented is that German soldiers watching a mob torture and murder Jews took photographs for their own amusement. Some of the photos were duplicated and shared with other soldiers. Members of Reserve Police Battalion 101, which played a major role in the mass murder process in Poland, often photographed themselves in the act. Sometimes, as the scholar Daniel Goldhagen points out, they used Jews “as playthings for their own satisfaction,” by posing for photos showing them cutting off the

beards of Jews or compelling them to don prayer shawls and cower on the ground. “The photos capture [German] men who look tranquil and happy, and others show them in poses of pride and joy as they undertake their dealings with their Jewish victims,” Goldhagen writes. Both the photos of the massacre process and the posed humiliations “rep-

the virtually limitless power of the [German] over his victim.” The photos taken by members of Reserve Police Battalion 101 were “generously shared among the entire battalion,” Goldhagen points out. He cites a battalion member who recalled: “They were laid out hanging on the wall and anyone, as he pleased, could order copies

Death camp commandants delighted in assembling photo albums that chronicled their experiences.

resented the absolute mastery of the photographed German over the Jew,” Goldhagen notes. It was all “done in front of the camera’s recording eye, ensuring that the victim’s shame would be displayed to people for years to come…. This simple act conveyed unequivocally—to the German, to the Jew, to all who watched, contemporaneously or later—

of them.” For Goldhagen, the entire spectacle was reminiscent of “travelers purchasing postcards or asking for duplicates of friends’ snapshots that have captured vistas and scenes from an enjoyable and memorable trip.” Death camp commandants delighted in assembling photo albums that chronicled their experiences. An album com-

piled by the SS photographic department in Auschwitz included scenes of Jewish men, women and children being selected for death and lining up for the gas chambers, alongside photos of smiling Nazis and their families. Fifteen such albums were created for the camp’s high-ranking officers. Prisoners who worked in the photo lab in the Mauthausen camp were ordered to create a similar album. One of the prisoners clandestinely made an extra copy and smuggled it out of Mauthausen to document what was taking place. The album was later used in the war crimes trial of camp commander Ernst Kaltenbrunner— exactly what the Nazis feared would be done with photos of their war against the Jews. Kaltenbrunner was convicted at Nuremberg and hanged. An album belonging to Treblinka commandant Kurt Franz bore the title “The Good Old Days.” Franz was convicted of war crimes in 1965 but was sentenced only to life imprisonment. He was released after serving twenty-eight years. Among the documents recently released by the Israeli authorities is a recording of a telephone call between a Hamas pogromist and his parents. The murderer tells them excitedly: “Father, look at your phone, I sent you pictures! I killed ten Jews, Dad! I’m in a kibbutz, the blood is on my hands, Father! Mom, I killed ten Jews! Ten Jews with my own hands!” The mother responds, “May Allah save you, my hero.” In the background is the voice of a Jewish woman, desperately crying in pain just before she will become another war trophy in the pogromist’s souvenir collection—perhaps as part of an album of images that he, too, will title “The Good Old Days.”

Dr. Medoff is founding director of The David S. Wyman Institute for Holocaust Studies and author of more than 20 books about Jewish history and the Holocaust. His latest is America and the Holocaust: A Documentary History, published by the Jewish Publication Society & University of Nebraska Press.

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School of

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A Placard of Protest By Barbara Deutsch

hen I was a student at Hunter College after an educational lifetime in Yeshiva, I drank the Kool-Aid and became a liberal minded activist. Yes, that was me at every demonstration: protesting the Vietnam War, freeing Soviet Jews, or marching with Martin Luther King down Fifth Ave into Central Park. And always in support of Israel. In 1968, six months after I got married, you would have found me standing outside Hunter College on a huge picket line, dressed in my World War I army jacket, standing in solidarity with Mark Rudd who, with an army of supporters, shut down Columbia University in protest of the ongoing war in Vietnam. Bob and I had planned to be attending San Francisco State College in California that year. It would have been a lost year because the president of the school, S. I. Hayakawa, a world class linguist, closed the school because of the ongoing out-ofcontrol riots. Hayakawa was later fired. Closed too were Hunter College, Columbia University, and all the colleges and universities where there was unrest and protest. School was over for me that year after the outbreak of the April student riots. Two years later, I was a teacher with the ability to make a difference through education. I kept that World War I jacket as a reminder of my once innocent and passionate youth. Standing with my antiwar picket sign, chanting, “LBJ, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?” I felt justified in my passion for change in the face of so much pain and damaged young lives caused by a senseless war. One time, as I was standing with a massive crowd of protesters, the threat of police snaked through the crowd. This was the time before cell phones, so I had to get to a landline; somehow, I got to one in a building, perhaps one in the college lobby, and called my husband Bob. I will never forget what he told me, “If

you get arrested, I will not come and get you.” We had no car and Hunter College was way uptown – a long train ride away. Bob also did not think getting arrested was a good thing for my future career working with children.

completely disappeared; to me, it has always been under the surface, hiding. No more! Jews are no longer cowed into silence or running away from what should have always been crystal clear. We need to be

I’m also no longer open to the ideology of free liberal thinkers who lose their compassion at the door of Israel and the Jewish people.

I went home. I hate injustice of any kind, and I wanted more than rhetoric and platitude. I need to live in a moral world. I’m not that kid anymore. I’m also no longer open to the ideology of free liberal thinkers who lose their compassion at the door of Israel and the Jewish people. Every day, watching and listening to the hateful protests on my computer, my cellphone, or television, I can’t wrap my head around what I am seeing and hearing. I’m not one of those complacent people who believed that everyone got over their senseless hatred of the Jews because 6,000,000 were eradicated during World War II. To me, there was always that lingering antisemitism that has never ever

careful but never afraid. The part of me that wants justice and looks for the good in my fellow man still motivates me to do what I can when called to help in both my personal and professional life. I keep trying to find some glimmers of good in all of this bad. Last night, one of the rotating security guards at my school told me he was Jewish and that he had had a bar mitzvah. I have been working with this very nice guy for two years, and I had no idea. Additionally, even though he was not on tap to work, a last-minute change in scheduling meant that the building needed to be used for a program. He offered to stay to keep the building secure because

he wanted the participating students and teachers to feel safe. When I marched on those long-ago protest lines as a college kid, there was an energetic positive vibe. We felt that by protesting, we were looking out for innocent lives wasted on the battlefield of a war for which there was no moral, financial or meaningful cause. Fifty years ago, as idealistic young students, we marched together, not against each other. What I see now is a protest about hate from a core of brutality, pain and passion while using words that they do not even understand or can pronounce. All while wearing a mask of “justified” fury and indignation. When I became a teacher, it was with the goal of helping children learn to read; reading provides the highway to lifelong success in all arenas. I threw in many lessons about the need to be informed citizens and contributors to society. I am successful. The proof is what happened when I needed to fill a duffel bag with supplies for soldiers; my son-in-law is part of a mission traveling to Israel Sunday. Three of my former Yeshivah of Flatbush students who are on the frontlines of the Israel relief efforts helped me collect and pack a duffel. Zionist Jewish me wants to take out my long-gone World War I army jacket and stand alongside my much younger brothers and sisters holding a placard that says, “I am a Jew. I Stand in Support of Israel” as I sing Acheinu. For now, I settle for my lawn sign, pack duffels, write letters, and pray as I wait for peace. Do not be afraid, join me. Stay safe, stay strong!

Mrs. Barbara Deutsch is currently the associate principal at HANC 609 and a longtime reflective educator, parent, grandparent, and new great-grandparent. Even after all these years, she still loves what she does and looks forward to working with kids every single day.

Mazel Tov to all our talmidim who were mesayem seder moed in mishna yomi!

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

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Baltimore Weekday Minyanim Guide M-F S-F M-F M, Th M, TH M-F M, TH M, TH

M-F S, T, W, F T, W, F S T, W, F T, W, F S S T, W, F S-F M-F S, T, W, F S, M, TH T, W, F M-F T, W, F M-F

7:05 AM Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) 7:15 AM Kedushas Yisrael Kol Torah Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Ner Israel Rabbinical College

M, TH S S S, T, W, F S-F S-F

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7:20 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Beth Tfiloh Congregation Kol Torah Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shomrei Emunah Congregation

M, TH M-F M-F M, TH M, TH

7:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring Agudath Israel of Baltimore Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Chabad of Park Heights Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Darchei Tzedek Kedushas Yisrael Khal Bais Nosson Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shomrei Emunah Congregation

S S, T, W, F S S-F S-F S S S S S-F S S-F S S-F S-F S, T, W, F T, W, F

7:45 AM Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Talmudical Academy Darchei Tzedek Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Mesivta Kesser Torah Mesivta Shaarei Chaim 7:50 AM Derech Chaim Ner Tamid Ohel Moshe

M-F S-F M-F S-F S-F S-F S S M-F

8:00 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Beth Abraham Darchei Tzedek Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Kehillas Meor HaTorah Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ohel Yakov Ohr Yisroel Pikesville Jewish Congregation Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation The Shul at the Lubavitch Center Tiferes Yisroel Tzeirei Anash Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah

S-F S S S S S-F S S S S S-F S S S S-F

8:15 AM Kehilath B'nai Torah Kol Torah Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:20 AM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim 8:30 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ohel Moshe Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shomrei Emunah Congregation Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh 8:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 9:00 AM Aish Kodesh Agudath Israel of Baltimore Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Beth Tfiloh Congregation Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Shomrei Emunah Congregation Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim 9:15 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 9:30 AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah 9:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 10:00AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

S S S-F S-F S-F S-F S-F S S S-F S S-F S S-F S S S S-F S S-F S-F S-F S-F S-F S-F

Mincha

Maariv

Mincha Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Gedolah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/Tzemach Tzedek 12:30 PM Kol Torah 1:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (starting Nov 5, M-F) 10055 Red Run Blvd Suite 295 Milk & Honey Bistro 1777 Reisterstown RD 1:25 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim 1:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (M-F) 1:45 PM Ohel Moshe 2:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (M-F) Big Al @ The Knish Shop Party Room Kol Torah Market Maven Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Reischer Minyan 15 Walker Ave 2nd Floor Snider Law Firm 600 Reistersown Rd 7th floor 2:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (Sunday) Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Tov Pizza Mincha Minyan Ner Israel Rabbinical College Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building) Shearith Israel Congregation 3:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (M-F) Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 3:05 PM Kedushas Yisrael 3:15 PM Hat Box 3:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (Sunday) 4:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Friday at 6:30

Mincha/Maariv

Before Shkiah

Aish Kodesh Agudath Israel of Baltimore Agudah of Greenspring Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Beth Abraham Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Darchei Tzedek Kehillas Meor HaTorah Kehilath B’nai Torah Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Machzikei Torah (Sternhill’s) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ner Tamid Ohel Moshe Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Ohr Yisroel Pikesville Jewish Congregation Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation Shomrei Mishmeres Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel The Shul at the Lubavitch Center Tiferes Yisroel

Maariv

6:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (starting Nov 5) Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 6:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (starting Nov 5) Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 7:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 7:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah 8:45 PM Darchei Tzedek Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) Ohr Yisroel

continued

8:50 PM Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building) 8:55 PM Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh 9:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Arugas Habosem Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Shomrei Emunah Congregation Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim 9:20 PM Kol Torah 9:30 PM Agudah of Greenspring Agudath Israel of Baltimore Kedushas Yisrael Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 9:40 PM Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] 9:45 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Kollel Erev Birchas Yitzchok (Luries) Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah 9:50 PM Aish Kodesh Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Ohel Moshe 10:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Darchei Tzedek Kehilath B'nai Torah Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation 10:05 PM Kol Torah 10:10 PM Ner Israel Rabbinical College 10:15 PM Derech Chaim Khal Bais Nosson 10:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 11:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Agudah of Greenspring - 6107 Greenspring Ave Agudath Israel of Baltimore - 6200 Park Heights Ave Ahavat Shalom - 3009 Northbrook Rd Aish Kodesh - 6207 Ivymount Rd Arugas HaBosem - 3509 Cwlarks Ln Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim - 3120 Clarks Ln Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore - 6823 Old Pimlico Rd Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh - 6618 Deancroft Rd Beit Yaakov - 3615 Seven Mile Ln Beth Abraham - 6208 Wallis Ave Beth Tfiloh Congregation - 3300 Old Court Rd Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation - 6602 Park Heights Ave Chabad of Park Heights - 3402 Clarks Ln Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh - 3800 Labyrinth Rd Darchei Tzedek - 3201 Seven Mile Ln Derech Chaim - 6229 Greenspring Ave (Weekday) Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue 6611 Greenspring Ave. Kedushas Yisrael - 6004 Park Heights Ave Kehilath B’nai Torah - 6301 Green Meadow Pkwy Kehillas Meor HaTorah - 6539 Pebble Brooke Rd Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek - 6811 Park Heights Ave Khal Bais Nosson - 2901 Taney Rd Kol Torah - 2929 Fallstaff Rd Machzikei Torah - 6216 Biltmore Ave Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah - 6500 Baythorne Rd Mesivta Kesser Torah - 8400 Park Heights Ave Mesivta Shaarei Chaim - 3702 Fords Ln Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah - 7000 Rockland Hills Dr Neuberger, Quinn, Gielen, Rubin & Gibber One South Street, 27th Floor Ner Israel Rabbinical College - 400 Mt Wilson Ln Ner Tamid - 6214 Pimlico Road Ohel Moshe - 2808 Smith Ave Ohel Yakov - 3200 Glen Ave Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] - 6813 Park Heights Ave Ohr Yisroel - 2429 Lightfoot Dr Pikesville Jewish Congregation - 7644 Carla Rd Shearith Israel Congregation - 5835 Park Heights Ave Shomrei Emunah Congregation - 6221 Greenspring Ave Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh - 2821 W Strathmore Ave Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim - 7504 Seven Mile Ln Talmudical Academy - 4445 Old Court Rd The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel - 5915 Park Heights Ave The Shul at the Lubavitch Center - 6701 Old Pimlico Rd Tiferes Yisroel - 6201 Park Heights Ave Tzeirei Anash - 6706 Cross County Blvd Wealcatch Insurance - 37 Walker Ave 2nd floor Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah - 6819 Williamson Ave

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7:00 AM Aish Kodesh (upstairs Minyan) Agudath Israel of Baltimore Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Kol Torah Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh The Shul at the Lubavitch Center Tiferes Yisroel

T, W, F S S S M-F

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

6:20 AM Agudah of Greenspring M, TH Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) S-F Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F Kehilath B'nai Torah M, TH Shomrei Emunah Congregation S, M, TH 6:25 AM The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel T, W, F 6:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring T, W, F Chabad of Park Heights M-F Darchei Tzedek M-F Kehilath B'nai Torah T, W, F Khal Bais Nosson M-F Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek M-F Kol Torah T, W, F Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F Ohr Yisroel M-F Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F Shomrei Emunah Congregation T, W, F 6:35 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan) M, TH Ohel Moshe M, TH 6:40 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan) T, W, F Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M, TH 6:45 AM B”H and Mesivta of Baltimore (Dirshu Minyan) S-F Beth Abraham M, TH Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue M-F Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F Ner Tamid M-F Ohel Moshe T, W, F Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim M-F 6:50 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] M, TH Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh M, TH Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation T, W, F Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh M, TH Derech Chaim M-F Kol Torah M-F Ohel Moshe S Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH Shomrei Emunah Congregation M, TH The Shul at the Lubavitch Center M, TH 6:55 AM Beth Abraham T, W, F Kol Torah M, TH

7:15 AM Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel Tzeirei Anash

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A Snippet From Judaism’s Number One Podcast

What It’s Like Living in Israel Right Now - Rabbi Dovid Gottleib A SNIPPET FROM JUDAISM’S NUMBER ONE PODCAST

In our interconnected world, the power of the media cannot be abbi Gottleib is the Rabbi of overestimated. Internet websites, social media, radio, newspapers, and Kehilat Ha’ela, the the Shul magazines increasingly control fateof of politicians and governments, world olim finances morality. the chareidi world, the messages conveyed Anglo in and Ramat BeitInShemesh, by religious can in shape andEtzion, strengthen emuna, enrich charitable a rebbe in a media yeshiva Gush efforts, and ferment new shul and yeshiva policies. Therefore, it was a and theprivilege managing directorthe ofhighly Tzalash, to Rabbi Tzalash, an owner Israeli great to interview influential Eli Paley, of organization anMishpacha organization that provides emoMedia Group and publisher of the Mishpacha Hebrew committed to and offering emotional English weekly magazines. tional support for religious soldiers.

“We have been reminded that we are all family and in this together.”

before. They do programs visiting the soldiers, active learning programs, siyumim, and provide special miniature seforim that fit in the equipment. Before Yosef left, he soldier’s pocket, connecting with CEO OF MISHPACHA asked his father, “Abba will you the soldiers in their active duty and and religious support to soldiers. give me a brocha?” on their bases and they are seeing Tzalash in Hebrew is Tzadik Lamed Rabbi Gottleib began recording After making havdalah Rabbi tremendous growth and success. Eli Paley is a businessman and social activist. He is chairman of the Paley Family Shin, whichwhich means TzavaandLe’shaim Foundation supports promotes Torah CentersTorah and social Divrei in initiatives Englishin the for his Gottleib called his daughter who Presently it is very hard because Shamayim, the army for theofsake of Funders Network, he is active in several Charedi community. A member the Jewish son and his friends. Tzalash heard lives in Yerushalayim was told The topic of poverty amongand Charedim and the poor economic situation in the Israeli philanthropic every person who would be going heaven. Rabbiorganizations. Dovid Gottleib is now community lay heavily on Eli’saheart. As part of the solution, Eli started the Charedi Institute about this and asked Rabbi Gotthat his son-in-law, also reservist, to visit these soldiers is a dealing with soldiers at the front lines of Public Affairs to engage with the government with hopes to resolve this in a waysoldier that will We discussed the Mishpacha’s origin, the challenges he is faced with policy decision tleib to record Divrei Torah in He- had calledsociety up and left for the values. now. Yet everybody is working ofmaking, Israel’sandwar with Hamas allowbeen the Charedi to retain its Torah the overall goals he and hopesexto attain through the publication. plains the importance of spiritual and brew which he did as a volunteer. south. and helping. They are still workAmerican Jews may difficulty in relating to the issues overseas, Eli, as a born Eli was born in in the Mattesdorff neighborhood in Yerushalayim. and While years ago His he great-grandfather was approached Rabbi Gottleib washave asked what emotional balance during these un- Two ing with many lonehesoldiers and and bred Israeli is certainly in touch with the masses. He recalls the issue faced during grandfather arrived in Eretz Yisroel in 1925 to establish the Slabodka Yeshivah in Chevron. to run the organization. He was Tzalash had been doing since the precedented times. his kolel years when distributing the magazine. The government regulation forbid a others to provide chizuk. They will Later his grandfather became the assistant to Rabbi Herzel, the chief rabbi of Israel. yingeman from Kollel benefits if he had any other source of income. Therefore, ofreceiving the war. GeneralRabbi Gottleib was born in advised that to help the soldiers beginning shortly launch a major campaign he was forced to register his side job under his wife’s name, a desperate solution used by Eli himself is an alumni of Chevron yeshiva. When married his wife, a graduate of is he “kadosh kedoshim”, there is ly, they have two basic divisions, America and had been the rabbi creating “spiritual ammunition many. In his publication, he attempts to broker a better solution. Michlala in Bayit Vegan, his dream was to continue learning. However, a few months after nothing more called important and one works directly with the sol- backpacks” filled with siddurim, ofhis Shomrei in Baltimore marriage,Emunah, his brother mentioned a new monthly publication Mishpacha wasthat Another example of difficulties that Israeli face is the draft. for someone to work as a distributor Yerushalayim a day and a half once every diers, his for life. and the second, called Eish-chareidim forlooking 6 years. In 2009 he took a sab- inchanged tzisis, chumashim, TehilMishpacha discussed population statistics -- one out oftefillin, four children is 5 to 6 weeks. With flex hours like that, Eli took the job, earning twice as much as he would Rabbi Gottleib described what es Chayil, helps married wives of batical and realized that the Jewish lim, and Torah books. They also Charedi– and how the army and Charedi society can possibly reach a solution. be for an entire month in a kolel. Financially independent, he continued to learn diligently. destiny and the Jewish future is in he called one of the worst days in young couples and young soldiers. have “adopt a soldier in prayer” The paperisis faced daily with Hashkafa decisions that have far-reaching effects on our His father, Paley, bought the Mishpacha business. To helpout his on his lifeMagazine when the war broke There incredible emotional Israel, andRabbi theyYehuda needed to be there. of people have society. The issue of printing pictures of womenand in thethousands magazine has been debated back father, Eli got involved in the editorial angle of the magazine figuring out how it could make birthday (he was born on stress oninthe young Ata unique 35, hecontribution and his family moved to hisHe50th and forth manywives forums.of When HilarysolClinton was running President, Mishpacha signed up for through their website to to the field of journalism. left learning to pursue his new mission shocked many readers by publishing a blurry photo of Donald Trump and Hilary on the theIt Shemini Atzeres thehim Yom diers who may be away from home to inspire andShemesh influence the Chareidi community. is that idealism that stillof drives in Ramat Beit with 4 childaven, learn, and do mitzvos for a cover. “We just wanted to see how people would react,” Eli confides. his work so many years later. Kippur War). When he woke up in for extended periods. Since the soldier. They will keep on striving dren and no job so it was a “leap the morning heardis the booms war broke WhatsApp groups The office did out receive some complaints, but theto Gedolim the magazine consults ofWhile faith”. It was hard emotionalMishpacha is well-received around the world, the goal ofthey Mishpacha to serve, do more because “Amadvised Yisroel them to include her since there was a real possibility Hilary would indeed become elevate and be the voice of the Chareidim, particularly in Eretz Yisroel. The real customers ly and financially but slowly they of the Iron Dome. He walked to were created and within 2-3 hours and the soldiers need us”. president. However, in Israel, an anti-Mishacha publication blasted Mishpacha , claiming are not the advertisers but the audience. Mishpacha seeks to portray an independent voice Shul and then the sirens began. 2500 women signed up.of modesty There and is Torah Rabbi built their professional lives Gottleib that they were breaking the rules by publishing a picturebelieves of Hilary Clinton. whichup is unaffiliated with any political party. In the early years, in the chareidi world of and were in- also a 24/7 hotline the women can first and foremost what is being with his family’s support and Davening pollicization, this was perceived as a weakness. However, the yearsHakafos have passed, and this This became a real issue because it was very hard for Eli to justify in his freedom has become of the most salient factors of its success. terrupted multiple times by run- call, nightly Zoom shiurim, and Hashem’s help. Heone partnered with in this war is the chesed and mind why they could not print modest pictures seen of women, particularly intosame therespect safe room which was gatherings. Ithard is challenging a “achdus” a Mishpacha builder towas build an Charedi expansion of toning considering how it seems to be toas explain to ba’alei teshuvah whyYisroel. women are Sadly, of Am the first publication give the to the Sephardi and “ignored.” In order to make often one of their first exposures to Yiddishkeit, disturbing but time, he had no idea anysignificant number of Mishpacha, Rabbi Gotattempting to create a sense of unity. Over this adherence to theAshkenazi Ramat societies, Beit Shemesh neighborit takes “Jewish blood running in more palatable, Eli is comfortable with his decision. equality and ahavas Yisrael became the secretthing to the business’ success. significant was occurring. tleib’s staff has been called up but the streets to wash away the stains hood and became the Rabbi of a changed when he was they area big doing what they can. He’s on mission: to expose our brothers toof true Torah chinam”. values, and heUnfortunately, bears the new shul. About ago hesociety got isEverything Mishpacha’s quest 9 in years elevating frum done through sincere, honest writing. sinas responsibility seriously. He often to employs way of thinking, a creative model, a Mishpacha position does not engage pretending society perfect. recognizing the thatis his son,While Yosef, was lookYoung soldiers have staya different a teaching in theinGush ye- thattold this pattern has time repeated itself but stretch and a twist, that can support our lifestyle while at the same show that we care great achievements and accomplishments in the frum world, Mishpacha will tackle even ing for him. He could not process connected to economy, Torah. security, They and have shiva and just over 2 in years ago hesensitive when things get oftough the Jewish about the Israeli its welfare system. “Instead just complaining unpleasant issues, albeit an extremely way. about why notcan understood,” Eli explainedpeople during the “we must ask thatweifare they keep soldiers became the director of the Tzalash. this because Yosef who is a soldier found dointerview, get together. Wewhat have we can do in this field. While we havestudy to make sure that our kids are not too exposed to the was given off for Yomtov and went connected to active Torah His son Yakov was in a hesder to pray that when this eventually big world, the (outside) world exists, and we have to face reality and come up with practical are a“ million times in a much ends we can hold on to the incrediyeshiva when he joined the army. back to his yeshiva in the southern they solutions. He confided that he felt that being town of Yerucham for Simchas To- better place to stay committed so ble achdus that we are seeing. Rather than hiding his head in the sand, he is ready to take on the problems in our when they finally get out of religious in the army was challeng- rah. If Yosef was now in Ramat that We have been reminded that we neighbourhoods and cities, working with the authorities instead of against them. Slowly, army they can thebetter sametrust.are all family and in this together. he believes, we will beresume able to build ing. Somehow, he finished the Beit Shemesh this must mean that the army more committed to being re- he was called up and had rushed trajectory of religious life and deEli is proud that Mishpacha does not try to be sensationalist. Rather he makes an effort that they were on even ligious than before and purely due home to collect his uniform and velopment to keep his editorial policies responsible and sensitive. “If you’re going to do it le’shaim

ELI PALEY

shamayim” Eli ended, “you’ll have disyata d’shmaya to do it right.”

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n a room full of sixty-yearolds, Eden stuck out like a sore thumb. More like a sore kidney, actually. Having been diagnosed with kidney disease at the young age of 9, Eden’s childhood was a tug of war between play and pain, dollhouses and doctor’s appointments, hospitalizations and happy moments in between. But as she approached her teens, things started getting progressively worse. And that’s how the teenaged Eden ended up on dialysis. As a case manager in Chai Lifeline’s Canadian division, Dina Greenbaum was intimately involved in Eden’s increasingly complex medical reality. Dina accompanied Eden to doctor’s visits. She helped her family navigate the ups and downs of life with kidney complications. She accompanied an unconscious Eden in the ambulance after she collapsed in school. But after many bleak days, the joyous news came- someone was stepping up to donate their kidney to Eden. Dina was thrilled at the latest development and was now there to support Eden and her family through this next stage of the process. There was testing, testing, and more testing. And then out of nowhere, the shattering update. Something had come up and the donor wasn’t able to go through with the surgery. Eden was devastated. Her family was too. It was back to square one.

Back to dialysis. It was a hard blow to recover from. Meanwhile, in Dina’s brain, a latent idea began to bubble to the surface. A close family friend had recently donated a kidney and had shared his experience saying he would do it again in a heartbeat. “Maybe I should ….” Dina was afraid to even verbalize the idea at first. But the voice got stronger and stronger, and Dina couldn’t fight it any longer. She broached the idea with her family who were totally on board. Equally supportive was Dina’s now-husband whom she was dating seriously at the time. Dina reached out to Renewal and began the process of becoming an official kidney donor. The paperwork and testing began shortly afterwards, and all indications showed that Dina’s kidney would be a great match for Eden. But Eden didn’t know anything was happening. “Dina! Guess what?! They found me a donor!” came the text one night from an elated Eden. “That’s awesome!” Dina texted back with lots of happy emojis. “I’m so happy for you!” “Had I been able to keep my identity a secret, I would have,” Dina tells us. “I didn’t want Eden to know it was me. I felt it would put too much strain on the relationship, making things unbalanced.” But as things kept progressing, Dina knew she would have to break

the news to Eden. Unlike the United States, Canada doesn’t allow for what’s known as “altruistic” kidney donations (where a stranger donates his kidney to another stranger.) Donor and recipient must register at the hospital together. It was time to tell Eden the truth. Dina and a social worker friend met up with Eden and her mother at a coffee shop. They chatted and then Dina presented Eden with a gift- a kidney-shaped tray filled with jellybeans. Everyone had a good laugh at the kidney-themed present. “Dina, cool gift. You’re hilarious!” Eden giggled. “Eden,” Dina replied with her heart thumping in her chest so loudly she was sure everyone in the room could hear it. “I have another gift for you…I am your kidney donor!” Eden could barely contain her shrieks as tears of joy mixed with tears of relief. Eden and Dina embraced, the kidney gift lying nearby on the table. The date of the surgery was set for Chol Hamoed Sukkos. Armed with the backing of her rabbanim, family, and friends and with the support of the Renewal team, Dina was wheeled into the OR.

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“I had done lots of research, spoken to ta few donors, and had the whole Renewal team at my side.” The surgery was a success and when Dina woke up, she was told that her kidney was doing great and was already performing beautifully in its new home in Eden’s body. “It’s a super-kidney!” the medical team joked. Dina felt incredibly strong and fought with her doctors to go home before Shabbos as she didn’t want to be in the hospital for the second days of Yom Tov. Seeing how well she was doing, they allowed her to be released and Dina, knowing that she would be in bed for the next while, managed to sneak in a trip to the nail salon on her way home. Though she was a bit groggy and achy for about a week or two, Dina was back at Chai Lifeline just two weeks later. Today Dina is a happily married mother and is looking forward to attending Eden’s upcoming wedding. “Aside for some very slight scarring, and the fact that I can’t take Advil, I live a completely healthy, regular life today,” Dina shares from her home in Baltimore. “I would do it again if I could.”

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SHABBOS BIKUR CHOLIM By Rabbi Moshe Dear NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Executive Director, Baltimore Bikur Cholim

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but critical message for us today as we watch the events unfold in Israel and worldwide, with concern and worry, but also with the knowledge that Hashem is ever-present and supportive.

Rabbi Wein responded that by visiting Avraham even at an inconvenient time, it demonstrates that Hashem is always with us, not just in times in times of convenience, joy, and celebration but also in times of challenge, pain, and distractions.

Similarly, Baltimore Bikur Cholim is an organization of the community! Like Avraham Avinu, Bikur Cholim seeks opportunities to assist, support, and help. Most recently, Bikur Cholim was instrumental in providing much sought after flu, covid, and RSV vaccines for the community. Over 400 community members were serviced.

One of the reasons that Hashem selects Avraham as progenitor of Klal Yisroel is that he was the paradigm of Chessed, a pillar of kindness who exemplified care and concern for others. Following Hashem’s example, Avraham embeds empathy and kindness into the DNA of the nation he founds.

Our volunteers provide hot, delicious meals and comforting visitation. Bikur Cholim assists with patient’s questions and critical advocacy. Our fully-stocked hospitality rooms are an oasis for family and friends of patients who are visiting in our local hospitals. The Roz Wallin Gemach loans hundreds of articles of medical equipment each year. And there is so much more that Bikur Cholim accomplishes within our community.

I am most grateful that our local Vaad HaRabbanim has designated Shabbos Vayera, November 4th, as Shabbos Bikur Cholim. I invite the community to come to shul and show your support for the organization, to thank the volunteers who are members in your shul, to show appreciation to our board members and supporters, and when asked to do so, to please donate generously to help us continue to do our important work.

These vital services do not occur by magic or the tap of a button. It requires essential funding and the efforts of hundreds of staff, coordinators, and volunteers. Using the words of the parsha, these are the “Tzaddikim B’soch Ha’Ir”, the righteous ones who are in the midst of the city! They are on the front lines making sure it gets done, no matter what.

If you never needed to avail yourself of Bikur Cholim’s services, I hope you never need to but knowing that we are our just a phone call or click away provides the comfort and peace of mind we all need. May we be zocheh to see Yeshuos in Klal Yisrael and healing for all!

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ur parsha this week opens with Hashem Himself performing the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim, as He visits Avraham following his Bris Milah. Rabbi Berel Wein once noted that it seems a little strange for Hashem to initiate a social visit at a time of someone’s pain. Additionally, Avraham was preoccupied with seeking wayfarers in the scalding heat whom he can offer hospitality. What is the message regarding the timeliness of Hashem’s visit at this precise time?

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

School of

Thought

The Importance of Really Listening By Etti Siegel

struggle to listen. As a coach, it is the bulk of what I do for a living, but it is something I work hard to do. Listening with understanding and empathy is one of the 16 Habits of Mind, an amazing program/book by Art Costa and Bena Kallick to help hone intelligent behaviors. I am grateful that a few of the schools I visit allow me to teach their students some of the Habits of Mind because through teaching we become wiser. When people take the time to really listen to each other, to actually hear and reflect on what the other person is saying and not just use the time to come up with a response, everyone feels more supported and understood. We are often faced with our own children or students who are struggling in different ways, and we adults often feel the need to jump in and share an anecdote or thought to advise or help when we really aren’t properly listening in the first place. There is much I have learned on my journey to be a better listener. The most important thing I have learned is that our older children and students need us to listen better and listen more. Their world is confusing, and there are so many issues they grapple with, but they will only share if we show we can tune in. It could be about friends, family dynamics, a perceived injustice they felt or saw being done to others, matters about the war going on, and so much else. Often, a person needs us to hold back our judgments and opinions and just listen and be present as the other person shares their thoughts. We need to not only hear their words but notice their nonverbal communication. Are they calm? Upset? Nervous or anxious? Are their fists clenched? Are they tapping their feet or fingers as they speak? Are they focused or are they checking their watch and making moves as if to leave? Costa and Kallick ask us to use the “3 P listening sequence” to work on being better at understanding another person’s thinking. P- Pause. Don’t jump in to talk. Allowing a few seconds to see if the person is really finished speaking is respectful and gives the speaker a chance to restate or clarify their thoughts. P- Paraphrase. This is NOT the time to add your thoughts. Show the person you are really listening by

paraphrasing what they just said. Be careful not to sound patronizing. • “So you are saying…” • “You wanted…” • “You were disappointed when… P- Probe. Ask a few questions to be sure you really understand the person’s perspective/ideas. • Why do you think that happened? • What could have been done to change that? • What do you want to do about this? (What do you want me to do about this?) Although I have many years of teaching experience and have taught many different grades successfully, listening with understanding and empathy means I need to be open to hearing the other person and what they are really saying and feeling. Who says my way is the only successful method? Who says that other strategies are not effective? Listening with understanding and empathy allows me to hear what the person is really saying and then allows me to guide them from where they are, with what they are comfortable doing. Dr. Ross Green, American psychologist and author of The Explosive Child, Lost at School, and Raising Human Beings, laments that the kids he works with in his psychology practice often have the answers to the issues they are having, but we don’t listen. We often decide for children or ask them leading questions, which does not get to the root of the problem at all. His Collaborative and Proactive Solutions approach (CPS) is not only helpful with school-age children. I find it helpful when dealing with all people whenever conflict arises. He calls it “using Plan B.” In the CPS model, Plan A is when we solve problems unilaterally, by deciding and imposing our will on others. We decide we know best, and we order everyone around. This does not create an environment where children will choose to share their innermost thoughts. Plan C is deciding to ignore the issue for now – not often a wise resolution, as it just kicks the can down

the road for later. Plan B is when you decide to solve the issue collaboratively. You and the child are now partners solving the problem together instead of adversaries. Just like in Habits of Mind, Plan B asks you to first gather information. Really listen. Stay neutral and ask them any version of “What’s up?” • “I noticed that lately you… What’s up?” • “You are not … recently. What’s up?” • “You really don’t seem happy when… What’s up?” Let them answer. It might take them time as they try to figure out if we really want to hear their thoughts. (They might shrug their shoulders at first, unwilling to open up and be judged.) When we really listen without judgment, we might be surprised to hear what they are really thinking and feeling. Now, you can share your concern. • “The thing is…” • “My concern is…” • “I am worried that…” Finally, without leading the child to any answer, you can ask for their input/solutions that are mutually beneficial. I am often surprised and pleased by the ideas a child will come up with. Often, they will be good solutions that I would not have thought of exactly because I was not seeing their position. If there is a feeling that the issue is not resolved, ask the child if you can both revisit the matter in a few days and evaluate how it is working out for both of you. We have so much to share, and we want to help guide the next generation. But they will not be open to hear from us unless we show that we can listen to them first and really hear what they have to say. Allowing them to come to their own answers, with our gentle guidance, will do more than any “Plan A” attempts could ever do. In a world where everyone tries to shout their thoughts at one another in an attempt to be heard, I am working on being a better listener. Will you join me?

Mrs. Etti Siegel holds an MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. She is an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning, is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech Magazine and The Journal for Jewish Day School leaders. She will be answering your education-based questions and writing articles weekly for The Jewish Home. Mrs. Siegel can be reached at ettisiegel@gmail.com.

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Forgotten Her es

Jewish Heroes Who Fought in World War II By Avi Heiligman

ore than 16 million Americans joined the American war effort in World War II by joining the armed services. The number of Jewish service members was approximately 550,000. They served in every branch of the military, including many specialized units and occupations within the ranks. Not all battlefield heroes were awarded the Medal of Honor, America’s highest honor for bravery in combat. Here are some battlefield heroes whose incredible stories may not have made front page news. The 28th Infantry Regiment, 8th Infantry Division landed on Utah Beach a month after the D-Day landings and was in combat throughout the rest of the war in Europe. They played important roles in four Allied offensives and captured 115,000 enemy soldiers. Jewish Technical Sergeant Alvin Hyman from Reading, Pennsylvania, singlehandedly added 30 enemy prisoners to his regiment’s total. Records show that in 1944 he was awarded the Bronze Star for his role in defending a German attack before the Battle of the Bulge. He received three Purple Hearts for being shot and wounded on three different occasions. On February 25, 1945, in Germany, many in Hyman’s unit were pinned down by intense enemy fire coming from a fire trench. Without support, he attacked the firing position with grenades, forcing two and a half dozen Germans to surrender. Five Germans were killed in the attack, and the strongpoint was eliminated. For his brave actions, Hyman was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross. One of the first American infantry units to see action during World War II was the 60th Infantry Regiment, 9th Infantry Division. They spearheaded the landings of Operation Torch in North Africa and landed at Port Lyautey in French Morocco on November 8, 1942. French resistance fell apart three days later.

The 60th Regiment then went to Tunisia where they finished the North African Campaign, successfully repelling a German attack. Private Stanley Silver, from Brooklyn, was serving with the 60th and had the dangerous job of clearing landmines. In March 1943, he volunteered to charge up a hill to clear out enemy resistance. He was wounded by two bullets on the way up but still continued towards the enemy’s position. Silverman threw a grenade at a machine gun nest and then stood up to throw another grenade at a second machine gun emplacement. He survived the action and was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross for clearing out the machine gun nests. Armored divisions played a critical role in World War II, and they provided firepower to regular infantry divisions. The 2nd Armored Division fought through Operation Torch, Sicily, Normandy, the Rhineland, Battle of the Bulge and Central Europe. Captain Irving Edelberg, from Saranac Lake, NY, was a combat tank reconnaissance officer with the division. He joined the army soon after the Pearl Harbor attacks as a private, but not long thereafter he became an officer. Edelberg had been with the division since the landings in North Africa and saw combat in Sicily, Omaha Beach, France, Belgium, and at the Battle of the Bulge in December 1944. His battalion, consisting of 80 tanks, moved into the village of Ciney, Belgium, about a week after the German offensive in the Ardennes Forest began. The tanks began to fight back against enemy positions and began to annihilate German resistance. Edelberg entered a farmhouse which was being used as a German aid station for the 9th SS Panzer Division. Close to three dozen wounded soldiers were being treated there including both German and American troops. The Americans had been captured a few days earlier, but the

Germans were cut off and had no way to send them to POW camps. Edelberg and his fellow American soldiers took the Germans as POWs and then freed the American prisoners. The town of Celles was the furthest penetration of the German offensive during the battle. For his actions, Edelberg was awarded the Silver Star, as well the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart, the Belgium Croix de Guerre and the Presidential Unit Citation. Forward observers played an important role in battle as they were on the front lines with the task of sending back information to rear echelon units. Often, they would be observing for artillery or aerial assets, and their real time information was crucial in defeating enemy forces. Private Henry Berkowitz of New York was a forward observer with the 16th Infantry Regiment, 1st Infantry Division. He was at Omaha Beach on D-Day, but on the way in, his boat was hit. Berkowitz jumped off the boat and made his way towards the shore with his radio in hand. The entire way he was under constant enemy fire and sustained serious wounds. Despite being wounded, he dragged himself on the beach and through a minefield. Finally, he reached his unit and began relaying vital information back to headquarters. Captain Albert Kessler from Elizabeth, New Jersey, was another forward observer during World War II with the 65th Armored Field Artillery Battalion, 2nd Armored Division. On November 23, 1944, he was observing for an eight-inch howitzer battalion when enemy forces came very close to his unit’s position. In order to annihilate enemy positions, he had to call for fire very close, dangerously close, to his own position. Accurate fire rained within a hundred yards of his post throughout the night, but it was able to push back the heavily defended enemy lines. Both Berkowitz and Kessler

U.S. troops landing on Utah Beach on D-Day

Landing in North Africa in Operation Torch

Captain Irving Edelberg

survived the war and were awarded the Distinguished Service Medal. These men are just a few of the many Jewish servicemen who were decorated for bravery during World War II. Their medals and decorations are a testament for heroics on the battlefield, and while they are rarely talked about today, they are Forgotten Heroes.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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NOVEMBER 2, 2023

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Life, Motza’ei Shabbat and Yom Tov, October 7

Dear Friends and Family, I do not have proper words to explain the horror and fear and devastation happening in Israel. Right now, Ari and I are safe and staying with friends in the center of the country (Chashmonaim). Our son has been called to his base. Our sons-in-law are protecting their communities through the night. We are all doing our best to get through this nightmare. Please pray for the safety of Israel.

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Sunday, October 8

Ending Sunday safely back at home in Ashkelon. I keep writing and deleting and then writing and deleting again. There is so much and nothing to say all at the same time. We are physically safe at home. But we are not okay. I cannot listen to or read the news. My heart cannot unfeel the pain and horror. So I clean my kitchen and do my laundry because THAT I can control. This is a crazy-making reality. Keep praying. Do a good deed. Smile at a stranger. Be kind. Tomorrow is another day.

Sunday Night, October 8

And now that the Jewish holidays have ended, and my observant Jewish family and friends are back online, here is my response to your questions: No. I am not okay. And right now, I am particularly sensitive to the question, “Are you okay?” or the comment, “I’m so relieved you are okay.” I am not okay.

I AM NOT okay. Yes. My physical being is alive. Yes. I am as safe as I can be unless something drastic happens. Yes. I am functioning and getting through the day. But I am not okay. Not at all. I don’t want anyone to think that I am okay. Nor that any of us living in Israel is okay. Nothing is okay right now. Yes. You can be relieved that I am physically safe. But please DO NOT assume that it is enough. I am not mentally okay. I am not emotionally okay. I am scared. I am worried. I am very sad. I cannot sleep. I am violently angry. I feel hate and disgust. I feel rage. I feel despair and helplessness. I feel hopeless. I feel numb. I feel tired. I’m so tired from feeling everything all at the same time. So yes. I am okay. I am grateful for my physical safety. But in this circumstance, it’s just not enough. So please figure out another way to tell me you care. Don’t ask me if I’m okay. Because I will tell you the truth.

to our safe room and shut the heavy metal door. We have started learning the difference between the sound of the Iron Dome deploying versus the sound of an interception versus the painfully loud crunching sound of a direct hit nearby. Even with our heavy metal window covering, the room shakes from the explosive vibrations. We sit still, away from the window, waiting the 5-10 minutes required before leaving the safe room. We take deep breaths together. I tap my chest gently to ground myself. I send a prayer of thanks to the soldiers responsible for keeping us safe and a word of support to the parents who are worried about them. And then we open the door and move on with our day.

Monday, October 9

Ending Day #3 of this war called “Swords of Iron” with some light rain. From this picture, you would think it was another normal day of watching the rain come in off the water— one of my favorite things to enjoy while living at the beach in the winter. But today, what has sounded like constant rumbling thunder is actually hundreds of bombs being dropped in Gaza approximately 12 kilometers/7 miles from where I live. I can hear the planes fly over, drop their bombs, shake our buildings, rattle our windows, and fly back to their base. We had about six sirens today, alerting us of an incoming missile and giving us less than 15 seconds to get

Until the next siren. I am still avoiding social media as much as possible. I cannot see the numbers or the faces or read the horrific stories. My nervous system cannot handle the pain I feel. I know they are all there, but the images don’t leave my mind if I look, so I choose not to. Today, I did five loads of laundry and scrubbed my

Tuesday, October 10

Wednesday, October 11

Ending Day #5 literally in a different place. I awoke at my usual 6:30 a.m. after a full night of sleep without any missile interruptions. Do I really thank Hamas for that?! It was a clear morning with a refreshing breeze that blew through our windows from the Mediterranean Sea. I sat quietly, enjoying my hot mug of sweet cinnamon tea, feeling frustrated that I couldn’t go swimming because the pool was closed, nor could I go for a morning walk on the beach because of the possibility of a missile attack or a terrorist on the loose. I thought, Is this really my reality? I decided that today was the day I would finish my backsplash; a project I have been working on for over a year. I got to work, and as I was cleaning grout off the stones, I heard cars driving on the street below. I thought, There are a lot more cars out there today. I wonder if the drivers are worried about missiles or terrorists? In the second after I finished that thought, the first siren of the day broke the morning quiet. As usual, I dropped what I was doing and ran. I heard the explosions overhead, waited until they stopped, and went back to my backsplash.

Thursday, October 12

Ending Day #6 of the war “Swords of Iron” in my old stomping grounds and having experienced a rollercoaster of emotions throughout my day. I felt Calm. Relieved. Exhilarated. Appalled. Disgusted. Grateful. Surprised. Nostalgic. Sad. So very sad. Shocked. Frustrated. Tired. Horrified. Happy. Loved. Supported. Annoyed. Remorse. Guilt. Challenged. Scared. Excited. Is there more? Although it still feels disloyal to have left our home, I am grateful for the respite to regroup. I’m still avoiding looking at social media. There is palpable tension in the air. People are greeting each other with kindness and care. And it is very clear, although hard for me to admit, that I cannot handle listening to the trauma from other people right now. I can’t hear it, and I can’t help. I can’t separate, and I would rather not know. I can, though, express deep gratitude for all the kind messages I have been receiving. Thank you all for your love and support. It means so much to all of us Tomorrow is another day… Friday, Erev Shabbat, October 13

It is a dream-like feeling to think that one week ago we welcomed our newest miracle into this world. It was a beautiful day with family and friends in our children’s supportive and loving community. Our grandson was given a ritual circumcision in a beautiful ceremony with singing and dancing. We gathered together as a family and shared beautiful moments so genuinely and innocently. The next morning, everything changed. Our country and the whole world turned upside down. Friday was a positive-energy day filled with an incredible amount of love and gratitude to G-d for His gifts. And just like that,

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Unfortunately, Hamas had other plans for my day, and instead, we spent most of the late morning and afternoon running into the safe room, slamming the metal door shut and waiting… It was around 1:30 p.m., when the barrage of rockets was so loud and scary, and shook our windows and building from a blast that felt so close, that I looked at Ari and said, “We aren’t coming back here tonight.” I had previously made a follow-up eye doctor appointment in Modiin (a city in Central Israel, very near to where we used to live) two months ago, and I wasn’t going to cancel. The plan had been to go early to see our grandchildren who lived in the area, then to the doctor’s appointment, and then return home to Ashkelon. After looking from our apartment window, seeing the destruction caused to the building behind us, and realizing that this wasn’t going to end, we packed our bags, closed up our apartment, and began to leave. As I was taking some things to the car, a siren blared through the air while I was still in the parking lot. I

quickly ran to the back door of our building, taking a second to remember the code, and ran into the stairwell of our building to wait. It’s important to note that usually when we have sirens, the doors are kept unlocked so that if anyone on the street needs to run for cover, they can. But because of the threat of terrorists in the streets, the doors to our building had to be locked. Thankfully, as we loaded up the car and drove out of the city, there were no sirens. Both Ari and I received many gracious offers from friends and family to stay with them, which we are deeply grateful for. Since we had already planned to go to Chashmonaim for Shabbat, I called our friends and asked if we could come a couple days early. As we drove out of Ashkelon, I could feel the weight lifting. And now, sitting on our friend’s couch in Chashmonaim, I feel relief and anger. Relief that I don’t have to be on high alert waiting for the next siren. And anger that I gave in to the bullies. I’ll need a couple days to process everything until now. But for now, I am trying to get used to not worrying that I will hear a siren any second and have to run… This is a crazy-making reality. Tomorrow is another day…

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Ending Day #4 of this war with a glass of white wine and frozen leechees with my daughter and a perfect bowl of gluten-free pasta with tuna and vegetables: my comfort food. I also end my day with over 4,300 steps just from being in the apartment and running back and forth to our safe room all day. My pedicure appointment was canceled, and I postponed a CT appointment at a hospital in Ashdod 20 minutes north of Ashkelon. Ari drove to the city of Ranana in the morning, about 63 kilometers/39 miles north of Ashkelon, for the devastating funeral of the son of one of his high school friends. I chose not to go. He graciously went to the supermarket while he was out but found the shelves empty of many items on our list. I’m not sure what I got done today. It’s a blur. I know I made a tray of date-nut chocolate candy. I know I helped Esther using SE (Somatic Experiencing) to learn how to regulate her nervous system. I know I met a client on Zoom for an hour. I know I folded and put away more clothes. But I can’t remember what else I did. At 4:00 p.m., someone sent us a notice that Hamas was warning Ashkelon residents to get out of town by 5:00 p.m. My brain knew it was propaganda meant to instill fear. But my body reacted without me wanting it to. I instantly became nauseous, and my head and heart started pounding. I knew I had to calm myself, so I went outside to my balcony and looked out at the sea. I consciously felt the breeze in my face, closed my eyes, and made sure I was breathing. Ari checked with his security “people,” who confirmed it was only propaganda. Except that at exactly 5:00 p.m., there was a siren and a barrage of missiles. We ran to the safe room and slammed the door shut. For the next half hour, each time we left the room, there would be another siren, and we would run back into the safe room. The explosions were very loud overhead. The metal window was rattling from the explosive vibrations, so I put some blankets and pillows between the glass and the metal to buffer and quiet the shaking. We had a reprieve with enough time to open a bottle of wine and make some pasta. Less than two minutes after I sat down to eat, there was another siren. I grabbed my bowl and glass and ran. As I write this, it’s been almost two hours since we’ve had a siren. I will sleep again in the safe room tonight, hoping for a quiet night like we had last night. This is our crazy-making reality. Terrorism aims to terrorize. They want us dead. They want to make us crazy in the mind. They want us to be

scared. They want to paralyze us. I have always been able to stand up to bullies in my life. But this is definitely different. It is harder and bigger and scarier. Still, I trust G-d has a plan. I breathe. Tomorrow is another day…

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stove top clean. I replanted a small cutting from my Batsheva plant, watered my porch garden, and made a delicious fish dinner. When my mind wanders to thinking and worrying about my children out there, I bring my thoughts back to what I can control in this moment. I’m tired. Praying for a quiet night… Tomorrow is another day.

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60 everything changed. Although I have posted an update at the end of every day this week, it now feels like a complete blur. We are all in collective trauma mind. We are on constant high alert. Our nervous systems are on every level of sensitive. We walk around feeling the palpable heaviness. We struggle to concentrate. We sigh deeply. We cry. We smile at each other. And every single Israeli understands what the other is feeling. No one is alone. We feel each other’s loss and pain. We are all suffering. So today, I am posting earlier than usual because Shabbat, the Jewish day of rest, begins in about four hours, and we will be off social media for twenty-five hours. Trauma mind tells us to be anxious and cautious about feeling calm or looking forward to the quiet of Shabbat. Our brains remember what happened a week ago, on Saturday morning, and although we cannot control what will happen in the next minute, we have to use mindfulness to remind ourselves that in this moment we are safe. This is now our crazy-making reality.

I share with sensitivity these photos taken last Friday of our family joy and happiness welcoming our newest miracle, Gilad David, into our family. Somehow, we must continue to spread love and kindness and joys and celebrations. Our world needs it. I hesitate to write, “Tomorrow is another day.” May G-d protect us and bring healing to us all.

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Motza’ei Shabbat, October 14

Ending Shabbat and Day #8 of “Swords of Iron” with blessings to our children as they head back to their responsibilities in this horrible war. Our son returns to his base, for an unknown (at least to us) purpose. May G-d watch over our boy and give him the strength and courage to do what he needs to take care of business so he may return home to us and his wife. Our daughter-in-law returns to Tel Aviv and then to wherever she needs to go in order to follow the important stories for ABC news. Our married daughters continue to be the mamma heroes of this war, taking care of their children and homes while their husbands are protecting us. Hopefully Esther will start work this week at Aleh Hanegev, a facility in the south for adults with severe disabilities.

Ari and I enjoyed a quiet Shabbat with good friends and hope to be able to return to Ashkelon this week. Wishing everyone a safe and peaceful week. Tomorrow is another day…

Sunday, October 15

Ending Sunday, Day #9 of “Swords of Iron,” with a family Zoom meeting in order to remember my fatherin-law on his third yahrtzheit (anniversary of death). We each shared a funny story or a memory of kindness, and all agreed that Captain WooWoo—as he was lovingly called—would not be happy with what is going on in Israel right now. As is customary, Ari, Esther, and I went to the cemetery, about a 20-minute drive from Chashmonaim. We said Tehillim and placed several newly painted shells on WooWoo’s gravestone, representing each person in our family. Sadly, we saw cemetery workers opening many new graves for the deceased. Another heartbreaking reality of this war. We also stopped at the local supermarket, where I found myself feeling suspicious and distrustful of the Arabic-speaking workers. It’s going to take some time before we all feel safe in our new reality. The good news is that Israel got its first heavy rain, cleaning off the dust of summer and hopefully a precursor to new life and growth in our land. Eventually… We are living day to day. Not knowing what will happen next… Tomorrow is another day.

Tuesday, October 17

We awoke on Tuesday after a full night of quiet and restful sleep. I did normal things like washing my dishes and folding some clean clothes. The constant internal buzz creeps in when things feel normal and then I remember that we are in the middle of a war and any second I could be running to my safe room. That constant buzz is always there, whether I realize it or not. Our day started in the morning by driving Esther to her base, southeast of the city of Be’er Sheva, in the middle of the Negev desert. Her base, called Nevatim, is an air force base, with many of the airplane hangars built into the desert hills so that they cannot be detected from the air. Ari gave her a blessing, and I walked her part of the way to the entrance. We hugged, not knowing when we would see her again, but knowing she was in a safe place and doing her part to fight this war against terrorism. Ari and I then drove 25 minutes north to a beautiful yishuv (gated community) called Shani, in the Yatir forest, where our son-in-law, Baruch, and his unit are tirelessly guarding the community. We gave a shoebox full of chocolate chip cookies to the soldiers, gave them some encouragement, thanked them, and spent a few minutes understanding from our son-in-law firsthand what had, what was, and what would be happening in the following months. After our visit yesterday, and witnessing the com-

mitment and care of these men, I am deeply grateful to all the soldiers who have come forward to protect our communities, as well as the families they left behind for an unforeseen amount of time. From there, we passed through a security gate and drove carefully to Yatir, a yishuv, about 10 minutes east, where Naama and Baruch live, and where Naama is at the moment single-handedly caring for their four children, including their newborn son. Ari and I were able to spend some quality time with Naama, who made us a delicious lunch. We played with and read to our grandchildren and made eye contact with our sweet two-weekold grandson.

After leaving Yatir and driving back to Esther’s base to deliver some supplies that she had forgotten, we drove home to Ashkelon. We needed to fill the car with gas and chose to stop at a station outside of Ashkelon where the gas was more expensive in order to avoid the risk of sirens. Once again, we drove as quickly and safely as we could, hoping not to be caught on the road when there was a siren and missiles flying over our heads (and hopefully not on us!). This is our reality! Thankfully we made it home safely. Ari wanted to grill hamburgers for dinner on our balcony but was afraid of being interrupted by sirens and having to run to the safe room. Hamas cooperated and only sent us running once before and twice after eating dinner. This is our reality! I am enjoying the quiet at home today. I’m angry that I can’t go swimming at the pool or walk on the beach. But I am grateful to be able to sit on my couch and watch the water. I am grateful we are physically safe and that we have food, electricity, and water. We are hearing planes overhead and booms in the distance, which makes me hope that our IDF is taking care of business so we can live our lives normally again. Today is another day… :) Wednesday, October 18

Ending Wednesday, Day #12, at home in Ashkelon.

61 A day without sirens, but no cease-fire, is crazy-mind-making. Tomorrow is another day…

Thursday, October 19

Ending Sunday, Day #16 in Chashmonaim, the community in the center of Israel where we lived for 17 years before moving to Ashkelon. It’s quiet here. No sirens. Sometimes a distant BOOM. There is more police and army presence everywhere. The heavy feeling in the air is still very present. There are hardly any other conversations except those having to do with what has, is, or will happen. Everyone is on edge. No one knows what will be… Today, I took a morning walk with a friend and her

Monday, October 23

Ending Monday, October 23rd, Day #17 of this nightmare, in Beit Yatir, with my daughter Naama and her four children, including three-week-old Gilad David. I left Chashmonaim around noon today and stopped at the supermarket to pick up some groceries for the week. I was very conscious of two things: First, without sirens and the need to run for safety in a shelter, I feel much more distant from the scary reality of war. Because I don’t read or listen to the news, I don’t know that anything horrible is happening or has happened. I could go about my day, shopping, cooking, doing laundry, or any other normal-day activity without knowing that anything is happening. Yes, there is a sense of heaviness in the air. But only because I am sensitive to other people’s energy. But unless I know the details of what has happened or is happening, the last few days have been very deceiving. Second, because I do know some details of what has been, is, and will be happening, there is a constant anxiety. This is what I call “the moment before.” Usually, I use this term when it comes to happy occasions: the moment

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Sunday, October 22

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Ending Thursday, Day #13 with a very sad and heavy heart. Many thoughtful friends have called or sent messages today, and I have felt obligated to answer or respond. I tell myself that it’s not their fault I feel down today. But when I answer, I have nothing to say. I don’t know how to answer the question, “How are you doing?” I can’t speak. And I don’t have any interest in chit-chat. I appreciate people calling to check in. I do it for others all the time. But today is a “not okay” day. Even the simplest headlines weigh heavy on me. I don’t recognize myself this way. I have spent 28+ years as a therapist listening to, supporting, and helping clients work through some of the most horrific and unimaginable abuse and trauma. I have held space for their deep pain and sobbing tears. I have listened to stories that I always believed could not get worse. Suddenly, I feel extremely fragile, and I cannot bear to read even the simplest headline. I think about our soldiers and what is going to happen next for them. I think about them being out in the heat. I think about their mothers and fathers worrying about them. I can’t imagine what they are all feeling while they wait. I think about the thousands of families who have had their lives turned upside-down. There is so much loss. There is so much sadness. It’s just too much pain to bear. I receive messages and emails asking for therapists to volunteer. I don’t know how others are doing it. I cannot imagine having to hold space for the amount of pain every single Israeli is feeling. Why can’t I “just suck it up”? I don’t know. I just can’t. And I truly do not recognize myself. So I have pushed myself through the day. At this moment, there have “only” been two sirens in Ashkelon. Many more south of us. Thankfully, we received SOLs from all our children. They are all busy doing what they need to be doing. The beach is calling me. It’s been a hard day. Tomorrow is another day… P.S. The beautiful fall leaf-turning pictures people have sent me have really helped and are truly appreciated. Thank you! Keep them coming.

dog. We talked about different aspects of how this war was affecting us. Today, I took my car to a gracious friend, who polished the front light covers on my car. I didn’t want to be driving at night with dimmed lights. Today, I met a friend for a fruit shake. We spoke about how our families were managing the everyday stress. We also spoke about making memories with our grandchildren. Today, I took myself to get a pedicure. I told the pedicurist that I hope to be able to send her a picture of my toes in the sand very soon. Today, I took myself to get a haircut. I told the guy that I needed shorter hair because I didn’t have time to wash my hair in Ashkelon. It took too long, and I never knew if there was going to be a siren. Today, I had a very overdue visit with a dear friend and inspiring colleague. I remain grateful for the relationships in my life that are connecting, caring, and kind. Today, I went to the candy store and bought snacks to take to Esther tomorrow. Today I met with a client on Zoom. She spoke about how all that has, is, and will happen is affecting her. Today, I called Naama to ask her for her shopping list so I could shop before going to her house tomorrow. Surprisingly, she answered the phone with her husband in the car. With a big smile, she informed me that Baruch had 24 hours off from his duties to spend time with his family. That was my happy news for today. Today, I also felt my very heavy heart. I found myself worrying about the future. And then I remembered the conversation I had with Dvir last night. He called to tell me he was “up north somewhere doing stuff.” He was in a safe place, and that’s all he could tell me. He said that I didn’t need to worry. I was reminded of his five years in the army and one year of traveling by himself. Those years taught me that worrying is a waste of energy. I have no idea what will happen, and there is not anything I can do to change that. My brain spirals so quickly. It takes mindful energy to pull myself back to NOW. Tomorrow is another day…

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Today was the first siren-free day we have had in Ashkelon since this nightmare began. Maybe because President Biden was here? Maybe they’re getting tired? Or taking a break? Or reloading? Whatever the reason, it was a nice break, even though our nervous systems are constantly on alert…waiting… I was able to spend my morning doing home administrative stuff, like making doctor’s appointments and canceling our newspaper delivery. I did two loads of laundry and unpacked from Shabbat. Normal stuff. Like living normally. Normal life with the buzz of an underlying unexpected something. Normal life without being able to walk on the beach or walk to the pool to swim. Normal life while running to the car and praying there were no sirens as we drove out of the city. What is normal anymore? The best part of our day was visiting Dovid at Tel Hashomer-Sheba Hospital. Dovid is one-week post-surgery and thankfully doing very well. He is one of “our kids” that we have known since he was very young in NCSY. Dovid is a big brother to our children. Dovid and his wife, Rochel, and their three sons are very important people in our lives. Dovid is in the Trauma Surgery ward of the hospital. There is not one empty bed, and most of the beds are filled with crucially injured soldiers. There is so much trauma on one floor, the intense energy is palpable. Before we went today, Dovid wrote to me: I really don’t want you to come if driving here makes you uncomfortable. My response: I appreciate the concern. You can trust that I won’t do anything that makes me uncomfortable. I’ll take responsibility for that choice. You focus on healing. I’m not going to lie. Driving to the hospital and back to Ashkelon took a lot of deep breathing, mindful focusing, and tapping. And I would not have missed the opportunity to visit Dovid and give him some love and support. I am doing everything I can NOT to allow terrorism to paralyze me! I am constantly reminding myself to be in the NOW. I am trying to stay focused on what I CAN control.

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62 before a wedding or the moment before a woman gives birth. But there’s also the moment before we bury a loved one or the moment before surgery. Being mindful and intentional of the moments before is a concept I share with people often. Friday night, October 6, was a “moment before,” and no one had any idea that it would be. As I was walking the aisles of the supermarket today, I became hyper aware of the countless Arab-Israeli workers. They were loading shelves with new ketchup bottles, emptying fresh cucumbers into the bins, and driving the cleaning truck around the aisles, mopping the floors. There were a lot of them. Mostly young teenage boys. Maybe some were young men. And they were speaking a language I did not understand. I tried to allow myself to think that they were hard workers who only wanted to make money to bring back to their families. They wanted to be left alone to do their jobs. But I didn’t know if that was true. I thought back to Friday night, October 6. And how so many innocent families, couples, children, and grandparents were happily enjoying their lives in the hours before Saturday morning, October 7. They had no idea what was about to happen to them. I could easily imagine that, as I was walking the aisles, looking for the oatmeal, I was in a “moment before” moment. I looked several of the young men in the eye, smiled and thanked them for moving the box out of the way so I could pass. But I wasn’t sure what would happen in the next moment. How do we live each moment without the fear that it is going to be a tragic moment before? How do we not become paranoid in our own country? I struggled to allow my thoughts to go to this frightening reality today. I cannot for one second feel even the tiniest despair of what those who were dancing at the music festival or enjoying their Saturday morning with their families were feeling. I just can’t. When I do, I start to cry. So I allow the tears and then pull back into NOW. So this week I will be helping my daughter. Supporting her as best I can. Loving her and my grandchildren as much as I can. This is our reality. Tomorrow is another day…

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Tuesday, October 24

Once again, I am beginning today, Tuesday, October 25, Day #25, sitting in my spot on the couch looking out at the eerily placid but stunningly blue sea. It was a siren-free night, although by no means a silent one. Unless you have ever lived in a war zone, it is difficult to describe. The best way is to imagine an all-night-long summer thunderstorm, with the constant rumble and shaking of your windows, with the occasionally loud but low-toned cracks. No rain, just the incessant rumble. Both Ari and I drifted in and out of sleep, while mumbling a “wow” every so often. The booms have not stopped with sunrise and clear blue sky overhead. We don’t hear as many planes, so we assume the rumble is either coming from the Navy ships in the sea or hundreds of tank artillery. Either way, our boys of the IDF have been working tirelessly overnight to eradicate evil and reclaim our safety! Our IDF son had Sunday and Monday off from his I-have-no-idea-what-he-does duties to spend with his

wife. They drove together to visit Naama and her kids in Beit Yatir on Sunday and had the lucky opportunity to see Baruch as well. Baruch and his unit are now watching over and protecting his community, which has allowed him to be home the past two nights in order to put his children to sleep, before returning to his post on the perimeter of the gated community. On Sunday night, when Dvir and Bracha returned to Ashkelon, it was the first time we had seen them in over a week. We hugged each other tightly, with tears in our eyes, not wanting to let go. Quietly, I stated that so many devastated mammas aren’t able to hug their sons anymore, and my heart broke for them! Then I hugged Bracha, knowing that she had been on the front lines with ABC news, witnessing the horrors of October 7 and the aftereffects on our country and its people. Monday was Yoni, Malka’s husband’s birthday. He celebrated with the Community Protection and Anti-Terror Response Team in Kerem Re’im where they live. Malka made them several homemade pizzas and a vase full of edible candy flowers. Once again, appreciating our daughter doing her part to support our soldiers who are working day and night to protect their families.

There were a few cars parked along the ledge of the cliff overlooking the beach, and even a few brave souls walking or sitting along the cliff. We walked down a hill and onto the sand. I walked quickly and straight to the water’s edge. I felt my toes in the sand and water and stood quietly listening to the waves while watching the setting sun. We could see the smoke trails of the planes reflecting off the sun that were circling Gaza, only about 10 kilometers south from where we were standing. The grey smoke billowed into the air and out on to the horizon. I’m not going to lie and say it was a relaxing and calm moment. The explosions were very loud and ground-shaking. But as I held onto my children and took several deep breaths, I was able to be mindful in the moment, appreciating what I had and sending prayers of love and comfort to those who didn’t. Esther continues to have sleepless nights performing the important job of preparing the F35 planes for battle by fueling and loading the bombs. Ari and I are deeply proud of our children and grateful for their commitment to safety for all and continued existence of our country. This is our reality. Today is another day. Thursday, October 26

Ari and I drove to Assuta Hospital in Ashdod on Monday morning for a CT scan. I have postponed the appointment three times because I was afraid to drive the highway when rockets were being directed at us. The hospital is a 20-minute drive north from Ashkelon. Knowing in my mind that I had to be ready at any second to jump out of the car and lie flat on the ground was nerve-wrecking. I spent the drive looking for the places along the road that I would have to run to for protection. Parking and walking into the hospital had the same focus. Once we were in the hospital, because it is a modern, fortified building, we were safe, and even had a siren as I was coming out of the CT. Thankfully, we drove home safely and without any reason to stop. This is our reality.

Ending Thursday, Day #20, rocking my sweet little grandson wrapped in the same blanket I wrapped my now 34-year-old son in and in the same rocking chair I rocked my baby girl in 23 years ago. There is a constant daily internal battle within me to appreciate the moments I have had this week with my daughter and grandchildren versus thinking about the heartbreak and pain of those who do not and will never again have moments with their children or grandchildren or parents or grandparents or cousins or friends. I end each day mentally and emotionally exhausted by this constant internal battle. My children are accounted for. They are all doing their part to protect our country and serve our people. For that, I am proud and grateful.

Wednesday, October 25

As the sun began to set into the sea, I decided that I wanted – no NEEDED – to put my toes in the sand. I assumed that the police were patrolling the entrances to the main beaches, so I had the idea of driving to the northern-most beach access place I knew of in Ashkelon. Dvir agreed and drove Ari, Bracha and myself to that spot that also had a wall we could duck behind to protect us in case a siren sounded.

Today, my heroic daughters, who are keeping their children alive and their homes functioning, while their husbands spend countless hours in reserve duty protecting their communities, received a gracious financial gift from one of our non-biological kids to be used to help them take care of their families.

Friday, October 27

Ending Day #21, Friday, October 27, with a visit to Esther’s base to bring Shabbat food and treats. The sprinklers were on, so why not run through them? Something normal in the insane reality!! Dvir called me as we arrived, so I had a quick chat with my boy. Ari arrived back safely, and we will be in Yatir with Naama and Baruch, who got 24-hour leave to be with the family. Wishing us all a healing and peaceful Shabbat.

call them human. I don’t even know what to call them?!) that hates me so much that they want me and my family wiped off the face of the earth. I’m angry. Really, really angry. I’m distraught that deep irrational hate exists in the world. I’m angry that I can’t go to the beach for my mental health because of a society of inhuman people that want me dead and will do anything to terrorize me into fear. I want to believe that this nightmare will end. I want to trust that our army will take care of business and we will live in a beautiful world again. I want to play in the sand and float in the waves with my grandchildren. I am hopeful. I have to be. Without hope, I have nothing to hold on to.

Motzei Shabbos, October 28

This is my reality. It’s going to get harder before it gets better. And it’s not going to end soon. Tomorrow is another day…

Beginning Monday, October 30, Day #24, sitting comfortably on my couch in Ashkelon with a full mug of hot peppermint tea looking out on to the Mediterranean Sea. My “I live at the beach” daily morning ritual. A seemingly normal day here. I can hear cars driving on the street below, a bus picking up passengers at the bus stop in front of our building, and a jogger’s fast-paced footsteps. And then I hear the loud roar of a plane overhead and the window shaking explosions in the distance. One after the other. And then reality sets in quickly. I remember my country is at war against evil, and my people are in pain. I remember that my brain is on alert waiting for the next warning siren of incoming missiles directed at me and my people. And then I remember that I can’t walk to the beach to put my toes in the sand or search for sea glass. And I can’t walk to the pool for my morning workout and meditative float on my back. And then all the roller-coaster emotions kick in again… Anger. And fear. And anticipation. And gratitude. And worry. And sadness. And guilt. And calmness… And then, when I think about what is happening in the world, I remember that I can only focus on what I can control. Spreading light and love and kindness. I trust there is a Bigger Plan that my human brain is not meant to comprehend. I trust that if I woke up this morning, then there is more for me to do in this world. My little part. With whatever energy I have. Even amongst the booms and anticipation. This is my reality. Today is another day…

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

Ending Saturday night, Day #22, October 28, with so many different emotions. I’m tired. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. I’m grateful. For a siren-free place to stay. For sweet, innocent grandchildren to distract me. I’m confused. I don’t understand how I am living in a world like this. I’m sad. For all the mothers who have to send their husbands off to war and continue to care for their children alone. I’m scared. For the unknown. For what will be. For how I will manage. I feel vulnerable. Knowing for a fact that there is a human race (I can’t

Monday, October 30

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Thoughtful kindnesses like this one allow me to trust that there is good in our world, when it otherwise seems hopeless. I am incredibly grateful and know that my daughters feel the same. too. The surreal reality of war is truly incomprehensible. Tomorrow is Erev Shabbat (Shabbat eve), and another day…

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TJH

Centerfold

See Something?

Riddle Me This

Which side of the inset bar is darker? Many years ago, a wealthy old man

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1. *

was near death. He wished to leave his fortune to one of his three children. The old man wanted to know that his fortune would be in good hands. He stipulated that his estate would be left to the child who would sing him half as many songs as days that he had left to live. The eldest son said he couldn’t comply because he didn’t know how many days his father had left to live, and besides he was too busy. The youngest son said the same thing. The

Answer: They are the same shade! (If you need proof – cut out just the inset bar…but wait! This is TJH, we don’t cut it up…other people have to read it, so cover the rest of the box and you will see.

man ended up leaving his money to his daughter do?

What do you call 20 men watching the World Series together? Answer: The New York Mets! (Well, maybe that’s not a joke after all! Sorry, I’m still bummed out about this season.)

Answer: Every other day, the daughter sang her father a song.

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You Gotta be Kidding Me!

his third child, a daughter. What did

In honor of National Cliché Day (November 3), figure out the cliché based on the explanation of its origins

packs of dogs who would let them know where the prey was; the dogs sometimes got it wrong.

2. Invisible ink, which dates back to Ancient Greece, has been used throughout history to pass secret codes.

10. In ancient times, warriors would lower their flags aboard a ship in order to hide their true identity but would raise their flags high when they wanted everyone to know who they were.

3. During World War II, the fighter pilots were equipped with 27 feet worth of ammunition. When they ran out, it meant that they had tried their best and used all of their ammunition to achieve their objective. 4. Wooden doors used to be secured with doornails. After the nail was hammered through the door, the end would be bent and hammered back into the door. 5. A 17th century writer advised against risking everything on a single endeavor, as it may lead to losing everything. 6. In boxing, a boxer may signal his surrender by doing this. 7. Name of a 1930s comic strip that ran in many newspapers throughout the U.S. about a newly married man living on $125 a week in Cedarhurst, New York. (Yes, you read that correctly!! And, boy, is it relevant today!)

9. In the 1800s, people would often go hunting with

12. The British Naval hero, Admiral Horatio Nelson, only had one working eye. Once, when the British forces signaled for him to stop attacking a fleet of Danish ships, he held up a telescope to his non-working eye and said, “I do not see the signal.” He attacked, nevertheless, and was victorious. 13. In the late 19th century, carnival games were targeted to adults and not children, so the winners would get a cigar. 14. In ancient times, mattresses were secured by ropes. When the ropes were not loose, it made a well-sprung bed, resulting in a better night’s sleep. 15. Old organs had little pipes called stops. The more of those pipes that one would release, the more sound the organ made.

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8. A horse jockey oftentimes loosens their grip on the reins when their horse has a strong lead in a race.

11. In ancient Greece, people would vote anonymously using white and black beans as a simple “yay” or “nay.” They would then count the beans to know which side won.

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

1. In the old days, commercial ships would often get stuck in frozen rivers during wintertime, so smaller ships called “icebreakers” would come to clear a path to shore.

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Hit the Nail on the Head

Answers: 1) Break the ice; 2) Read between the lines; 3) Go the whole nine yards; 4) Dead as a doornail; 5) Don’t put all your eggs in one basket; 6) Throw in the towel; 7) Keeping up with the Joneses; 8) Hands down; 9) Barking up the wrong tree; 10) Show your true colors; 11) Spill the beans; 12) Turn a blind eye; 13) Close but no cigar; 14) Sleep tight; 15) Pull out all the stops

Notable Quotes

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

“Say What?!”

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What’s harsh is the way Hamas is using people as human shields. What’s harsh is taking a couple of hundred hostages and leaving families anxious, waiting and worrying to figure out where their loved ones are. What’s harsh is dropping in on a music festival and slaughtering a bunch of young people just trying to enjoy an afternoon. I could go on and on. That’s what’s harsh. - John Kirby, Coordinator for Strategic Communications at the National Security Council in the White House, firing back at a reporter criticizing Pres. Biden for noting that innocent people dying is a fact of war

And being honest about the fact that there have been civilian casualties and that there likely will be more is being honest, because that’s what war is. It’s brutal. It’s ugly. It’s messy. I’ve said that before. President Biden also said that yesterday. - Ibid.

Israel soldier kidnapped by Hamas has been released. – CNN headline after Israel miraculously rescued one of the hostages

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All my illusions are shattered. It has been a rude awakening. A lot of us American Jews these past few weeks have discovered who our friends are. I stood with my Black friends during the George Floyd murder. I became an ally, a BLM supporter. My Black friends said, “I’m not responsible for your education, white people are.” So I shut up and learned. But who is learning our history? BLM is antisemitic. What would happen if I tore a George Floyd poster down?

People who are calling for a ceasefire now do not understand Hamas. That is not possible. It would be such a gift to Hamas because they would spend whatever time there was a ceasefire in effect rebuilding their armaments, creating stronger positions to be able to fend off an eventual assault by the Israelis. - Hillary Clinton

I wouldn’t have gone along with the Nazis in 1939, says college student at Kill the Jews rally.

- Blog post by Laurel Herman, a chef instructor in Virginia, on The Times of Israel website

- Headline on satirical news site Babylon Bee

I am fuming and yet I am in awe of Israel and how my people support each other. That is something no one can take away. This is our defining moment. And it is my defining moment as a Jew. I’m getting more Jewish by the day. We are the only people I can trust. #AmYisraelChai.

One of the ironies is that as an American Jew, you’re safer in Saudi Arabia right now than you are at a college campus like Columbia University.

– Ibid.

– Jared Kushner, on Fox News

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[The New York Times’s] top story on Tuesday’s digital edition said Gaza officials reported that 704 Palestinians had been killed in overnight Israeli raids. Exactly 704? In fact, it would be impossible for anyone to know the precise number of deaths or anything even close so quickly, given the large number of Israeli strikes in different areas that reduce most buildings to rubble. The Times doesn’t say how the Gaza Health Ministry came up with the number, but absolves itself of responsibility for inaccuracies with the caveat that “It was not possible to independently verify the toll.”

- Michael Goodwin, New York Post

People are leaving now, and they’re all endorsing me. I don’t know about Mike Pence. He should endorse me. You know why? Because I had a great, successful presidency, and he was the vice president. He should endorse me. I chose him, made him vice president. But people in politics can be very disloyal. I’ve never seen anything like it.

You cannot say, “I am too old to do things.” I am healthy and happy. - Alfredo Aliaga, 92, after a 24-mile hike around the Grand Canyon

I think when you’re a fan, you see obviously a lot, you hear a lot. The commentators are saying a lot. You have the score right there. You have the timeouts listed. Everything’s right there for you. It’s not necessarily like that when you’re a player. You’re just, you’re in the moment.

NOVEMBER 2, 2023

In other words, keep lying to us, Hamas, and we’ll keep publishing your lies.

- Tom Brady, talking about how processing football on TV now that he is retired is different than playing the game

- Trump calling for Pence to endorse him after the latter dropped out of the 2024 presidential race

- Dan Schneider, vice president of the conservative watchdog group Media Research Center, talking about reports that Jew-hater George Soros gave $15 million to groups that back the Hamas attacks

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George Soros and his son Alex have a long history of supporting the most radical organizations across the planet, and that includes pro-Hamas organizations that support the most heinous kind of behavior. We’ve called on George Soros to withdraw this funding, but he seems very determined to continue supporting antisemitic organizations that want to upend western civilization.

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We are all here to say enough. Enough trying to erase women and girls. Enough denying our biological differences from men. Enough of the craziness taking over our country. They’re using nonsense words to erase women and girls – and more importantly, to erase our voices and experiences. Today, we’re taking a stand against woke nonsense… It’s the Left that decided that woman is a dirty word. It’s the Left that decided that we needed to toss out basic biology – and basic grammar along with it. - Arkansas Republican Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders, after signing an executive order banning all woke words from government documents

I believe that scripture and the Bible is very clear that G-d is the one that raised up each of you, and God has allowed us to be brought here to this specific moment in time. – New House Speaker Rep. Mike Johnson (R-LA)

If science is Dr. Fauci, you’re [absolutely] right I’m defying science. - Aaron Rodgers, when asked on a sports show if he is “defying science” with his recovery, mocking Dr. Fauci who stated during Covid, “I am science”

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

Thank you for always providing insight, I appreciate hearing all the voices on your panel. I’m writing in because of the anxiety I feel right now surrounding dating. I’m 26 and have been dating for five years. Dating is not easy for me, but

now it feels even harder to get myself motivated to go out with the right perspective. I have a constant strain on my head; how can I get ready and sit for hours getting to know a guy when the whole world is crashing down around me? I went on a fifth date with a guy last week, we were at a nice rooftop lounge, he was a sweet guy, and as we were talking, my mind kept racing. The waiter was rude; does he hate us because we are Jews? Then my mind goes fur-

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ther – what’s even the point of trying to get married now? Is it irresponsible? This is all worthless; at my alma mater, they are calling for death to Jews and nobody is doing anything about it. Maybe it’s better to stay single and not take in more responsibility right now? Anxiously awaiting to hear your thoughts, Kayla*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. nxiety is rampant in the Jewish community right now because of the legitimate fears about the safety of the hostages, soldiers, and ordinary citizens of Israel as well as antisemitic violence and media. People are advised not to look at graphic images of violence and to focus on prayer and spiritual support, doing good deeds, and reaching out to support our brethren in Israel, both individuals and groups, with messages, needed items, and financial help. These are effective as well as calming because we are taking action for our people. However, if one’s day-to-day functioning is impaired (such as during a date) because of anxiety and fear, it’s time to reach out to a mental health professional.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond remember so vividly when Covid hit, we got many questions like your own, only during Covid, it wasn’t a fear debilitat-

ing just the Jewish world. This is a lonely tekufah and the feelings you are feeling are understandable. However, the solution is not to stop our lives in fear of the future. If anything, just the opposite! The best thing you could do is talk to someone about your anxiety and work through these difficult feelings.

The Single Tzipora Grodko he BEST way to fight the enemy is to refuse to allow their terror to negatively impact your life. Rebuilding is the antithesis of what they want, and therefore, Kayla, it’s time to fight – to fight the fear, to defend yourself of their cruel tactics, and continue to feel proud and pursue the greatest act of godliness-rebuilding. Many people have found it very valuable to seek therapy to manage their anxiety as well as medication if they find their worries debilitating. Pursue all resources of support, especially Torah study in emunah and bitachon. You’re not alone!

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

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ear Kayla, Thank you for your kind words! We appreciate your readership. So many Jewish single people feel exactly the same way you do about dating right now. They feel anxious and unsettled in today’s disturbing reality, and their heads are just not in the game right now. You are experiencing anxiety and are also perhaps somewhat despondent. In today’s tense and heightened climate, everyone has some anxiety. What I am noticing is that those of us with preexisting anxiety tend to have more anxiety

right now than those of us w it hout pre-existing anxiety. I haven’t collected any official data, and it is only an observation. You are not alone, and you don’t have to do this alone. If you aren’t already speaking with someone, I suggest that you find a therapist. Times are so hard right now. So many of us are living in a fear state and feeling very down and broken. It is an understandable result of being exposed to ongoing traumatic events, aimed at our own people, all day long. Some of us are

Dr. Jeffrey Galler any of us can point to a poignant photograph of a Holocaust survivor parent or grandparent, surrounded by scores of smiling descendants at a family simcha. It’s almost as if the elderly survivor has written a photo caption, saying, “Look at us! We won. Hitler lost.” It is precisely at these threatening times that we must assure that annihilation and despair be averted, that optimism and faith be maintained, and that Jewish life be perpetuated. Here are some thoughts for you to consider. First, observing how a date acts and reacts in stressful circumstances can tell you a lot about his suitability as a life partner. Will a person lash out in anger or react with composure? Will a person become moody and isolated or become optimistic and connected? Author Saumya Kalia observed that how people react through disasters is a very credible means for determining a person’s character and a very credible predictor of how that person will act in the future. Second, experiencing tough times together can become a very strong bonding experience. For example, during Hurricane Sandy, one wife wrote, “It’s reassuring when you and your partner have a chance to go into ‘emergency’ mode together. You get to see how responsible and caring the other can

be and grow closer by working together. My guy is the perfect balance of protective and practical during times like these... It makes me love him more.” So, instead of going to a restaurant or museum on a date, how about attending a chizuk lecture together or going to a Support Israel rally together? Third, experiencing acute stress can bring out the very best in people. An article in Scientific American (November 6, 2012) reported that acute stress may actually lead to greater cooperative, social, and friendly behavior. The paper concluded that “acute stress may help remind us of a fundamental truth: our common humanity. Understanding our shared vulnerability — life makes no promises — may be frightening, but it can inspire kindness, connection, and desire to stand together and support each other. Acute stress, as unpleasant as it may be, may also be an opportunity to experience the most beautiful aspects of life: social connection and love.” Finally, on December 23, 1776, in order to motivate the distraught colonists to stand, to persevere, and to fight for an American victory, Thomas Paine wrote: “These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”

going to need professional support to get through these times. I understand from your email that you are feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of dating during this time. Anyone who has been dating for longer than they would have liked will attest to the stress, discomfort and emotional roller coaster of the process. And yet, the goal of dating is to find that one special person who could potentially offer comfort, security and intimacy for the rest of your life, that person who would essentially be by your side during your anx-

ious moments and when life gets rough. Part of me wants to encourage you to keep dating now. And the other part wants to offer you respite and tell you to take care of yourself right now. I think both offered parts are valid. I’m going to add a third offering, which is that whatever you choose, or maybe in order to choose, you owe it to yourself to address your anxiety first; to take care of yourself first. And from a place of self-care, your answer will come. Always trust your own gut. Sincerely, Jennifer

The Zaidy

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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By Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST

ne of my favorite songs, California Dreamin by The Mamas and the Papas, starts off describing a typical autumn day and while I love that song, Mama Cass (born in Baltimore, MD!) failed to add the dizzying tax planning that accompanies those brown leaves and grey skies! Today, we’re unraveling the mystique around an often-underutilized gem in the world of financial planning – the Qualified Charitable Distribution (QCD). For retirees, this might just be your golden ticket to a wonderland of tax benefits and smart giving. So, grab your favorite cup of tea, coffee, or perhaps a glass of fine age-old wine waiting for retirement – just like you – and let’s dive in! In the labyrinth of retirement planning, there’s a special kind of magic spell called the “QCD” that could change how you handle your Individual Retirement Account (IRA) and charitable contributions. This nifty trick is especially relevant now, considering the recent changes in tax laws that have turned standard deductions into a behemoth, somewhat overshadowing itemized deductions.

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Chapter 1: Decoding the Enigma of QCDs First things first: What exactly is a Qualified Charitable Distribution? In layman’s terms, a QCD is a direct transfer of funds from your IRA to a qualified charity. These can be counted toward satisfying your required minimum distributions (RMDs) for the year, provided specific rules are met. However, unlike regular withdrawals from your IRA, the amount transferred in a QCD isn’t added to your taxable income. That’s right; it’s a disappearing act worthy of a standing ovation, as this move can significantly lower your taxable income and, thus your tax bill. But wait, there’s a plot twist! Not everyone can perform this financial sleight of hand. You need to be at least 70½ years old – an age not just of wisdom and grace but also the first eligibility for this magical financial maneuver.

Chapter 2: The QCD and the Standard Charitable Contribution – A Duel of Benefits Let’s set the stage for a face-off between our mystical QCD and the more traditional route of standard charitable contributions. Picture this: you withdraw from your IRA and receive the funds. You then skip merrily off to your favorite charity and donate generously. Come tax season, you itemize your deductions, listing your charitable act, hoping it will slash your tax bill. Here’s the catch with this approach: with the standard deduction thresholds significantly higher post the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, many taxpayers find itemizing less beneficial. Essentially, your charitable act, noble as it is, might not be giving you the tax advantage you were hoping for. Enter our hero, the QCD. It sidesteps this conundrum entirely. The money sent to your charity of choice never touches your hands as income, so it doesn’t boost your adjusted gross income (AGI). A lower AGI can help keep the taxable portion of Social Security benefits in check, manage Medicare premiums that escalate with higher incomes, and even affect the viability of itemizing other deductions. Chapter 3: Conjuring Up the Maximum Benefit from Your QCD To harness the full power of QCDs, you must adhere to specific rules (no spell book required, though). The maximum (as of my last update) annual amount that can qualify for a QCD is $100,000. This limit applies to your own IRA; if your spouse has an IRA and is 70½ or older, they are entitled to a separate limit. Also, remember the “qualified” part of QCDs? That’s paramount. The charity must be a 501(c)(3) organization, typically public charities or private foundations that the IRS deems eligible. Unfortunately, donor-advised funds and private foundations that lack “public” status don’t cut. Chapter 4: The Chain Reaction of Tax Sorcery – Beyond the Basics The magic of a QCD doesn’t stop at the tax advantages on your income.

It can set off a chain reaction of tax sorcery, influencing various aspects of your finances: • Social Security Taxes: A lower AGI means a lower percentage of your Social Security benefits will be subject to taxes. It’s like using a shield spell against the tax bite. • Medicare Premiums: These are based on your income, and that’s where the QCD’s trick of lowering your AGI safeguards you against premium surges. • Tax Credits and Deductions: By lowering your income, QCDs might help you qualify for other tax deductions and credits that phase out for higher-income taxpayers. It’s like finding bonus treasure chests in a game! Chapter 5: The Grand Finale – Implementing Your Strategy Before you rush off to implement this enchanting strategy, here are a few pro tips: • Timing is Everything: Ensure that your QCD is made by December 31st. The transaction must be complete, not just initiated, to count for that tax year. • Direct Contact: The distribution must go directly from your IRA to the charity. No dilly-dallying in your personal account! • Paper Trail Magic: Obtain written acknowledgment from the charity for every QCD. This is crucial for your records if Uncle Sam comes knocking for an audit. • Curtain Call: Your Financial Fairy Tale As our journey ends, it’s clear that incorporating QCDs into your charmed circle of financial strategies can be particularly potent magic. It’s not just about savings; it’s about amplifying the impact of your generosity.

By embracing the wisdom of QCDs, you’re scripting a powerful narrative where you are the mage-master of your finances, conjuring a brighter, more secure world for yourself and the causes dear to your heart. In this financial fairy tale, you’re not just a retiree; you’re a strategic donor wielding wisdom, turning mandatory distributions into magnanimous contributions. So, here’s to your happily ever after, where visionary meets kind for the ultimate finale! Common Cents is now digital on YouTube @CommonCents613 The decision to start saving and investing is yours, but the “how” can be hard. Email commoncents@northbrookfinancial.com to schedule a free financial planning consultation with our team. Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST is Co-Founder of Northbrook Financial, a Financial Planning, Tax, and Investment Management Firm. He has developed and continues to teach a popular Financial Literacy course for high school students.

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To Raise a Laugh

Who’s at the Door? W

hen you were a kid and someone rang the doorbell, it was exciting. Easily the highlight of your day. And it was always someone you were glad was there. The whole family would come to the door, and all the kids would stick their heads out… In my house, there’d be a row of kids’ heads below my father’s elbow. And if it turned out to be, say, a salesperson, my father had to stuff all the little heads back in before he closed the door. Especially those of the smaller kids, who didn’t know that he didn’t know the person. They were still there, eagerly hoping to find out who this was, through context. But the world has changed. Nowadays, when the doorbell rings, everybody freezes. Then we all get down and pretend we’re not home until we know for sure who it is. And the reason is simple: Once they know we’re home, we can’t suddenly pretend not to be. But if we pretend we’re not, and then suddenly we are, it won’t be called into question. “You can’t fool me. You’re actually not home. I saw before.” As soon as there’s a knock, I think, “Who could that be?”

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By Mordechai Schmutter

If it said posthaste, you could expect them in 8-10 business days.

“Get down; be quiet! Someone’s outside!”

And yes, this sounds like we’re all highly antisocial, but you never know who’s at the door. It could be someone that it’s easier not to deal with.

Have you ever stood outside your house with the door closed just to see exactly what you can and can’t hear from outside? You should.

For example, sometimes it’s a persistent salesperson who won’t let you close the door. It’s not like the phone, where you can just hang up on them. These people know where you live. Now.

And by the way, the person can tell that you’re looking through the peephole, because there’s a stream of light coming from the peephole that suddenly got blocked for a second.

When I’m on the phone and somebody’s trying to sell me something, I try to make believe I’m in middle of a sentence and hang up. And then they figure, “I guess we got cut off. He wouldn’t have hung up in middle of his own sentence.” But I can’t do that when someone’s at my door. “Sure! I would love to buy your”—SLAM. Or it could be a meshulach, and you don’t have money on you. And he won’t believe you, because he tried you in shul, and you patted your pockets to show that you had nothing on you then. And now he’s at your home. What are you going to do now, huh? Are you going to pat the side of your house? At best, it’s a neighbor coming to borrow something. Or return something. They knock on the door, and I’m like, “Again? You were just here!” and they’re like, “Here’s your bike pump.” “Oh. I forgot that you borrowed it. I just remembered that you came by.” So the procedure in your house, when there’s a knock, is that everyone freezes until you can figure it out. Then you silently give instructions, miming everything like a marine.

I count all my kids.

“Get down. Get down. No movements.”

“Who isn’t home?”

It’s like the KGB is at your door.

“Should I turn off the light?” “No! Then they’ll see it turning off! It’s too late for that light.” But all this vetting doesn’t really provide a foolproof barrier into your house anyway. Like sometimes one of your kids has a playdate and he doesn’t know the procedure, so he just opens the door of a house that isn’t even his, because he assumes it’s his parents coming to get him. Whoops. A kid did this in my house last week. “Oops.” And then he wandered away from the door, leaving it open. “I don’t know those people. They’re not even Jewish.” He did not say one word to me; he just wandered away. And I didn’t know it wasn’t his mother. I thought he was going to get his shoes or something. And meanwhile, this person was left in front of a half-open door, because she thought he was going to get his mother. She didn’t know he didn’t live here. So after about a minute, she called out, “Is anyone home?” And I yelled, “Sure! Come in!” So she walked in, and she was definitely not his mother. I think the look on my face scared her off.

“Well, it’s not one of us.” Do we know them? And if we don’t, why are they here? It’s not someone I know. Everyone I know lets me know they’re coming before they come. Who would come without letting us know first? Even in the really old days, people didn’t just appear on your doorstep. They sent letters: “I will be traveling to you posthaste.”

And then you find yourself commando crawling across the floor so you can get to the door and see who it is. Before you officially ask who it is. And meanwhile, the knocks get louder. To you, it’s scary and aggressive, because you’re standing right near the door; to the people outside, they’re thinking maybe you’re in a different part of the house. Or they hear the whispering. Especially since there’s always someone who’s late to the conversation – who comes down the stairs in middle of all this and asks, “WHAT’S GOING ON, EVERYBODY?!

And sometimes you do this yourself. Sometimes you’re expecting someone and you think it’s them at the door, and you to open the door without checking, and it’s somebody else. And you say, “Oh.” If you’re ever at someone’s house and they open the door and say, “Oh,” there’s no better feeling in the world. Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.

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Amud HaYomi Spreading Across the World

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Pivotal Pesichah Shiurim Delivered by Gedolei Yisrael

By Chaim Gold

t is barely two weeks since the launch of the global Amud HaYomi program and the Amud HaYomi is spreading across the world! Hundreds of shiurim and night kollelim began learning the Amud HaYomi this past Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan starting Masechta Brachos daf beis amud aleph. Thousands of chavrusos began learning the amud together across the world from Melbourne to Buenos Aires, from Lakewood to Bnei Brak, from Antwerp to Texas, and from Johannesburg to Caracas, Venezuela. Rav Hillel David: The Unique Maalos of Amud HaYomi In addition, pesicha shiurim were delivered on the first amud in Brachos by Gedolei Yisrael from all over. HaGaon HaRav Hillel David, shlita, Yoshev Rosh of the Vaad Roshei Yeshiva of Torah Umesorah, a member of the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah, and Rav of Kehillas Yeshiva Shaarei Torah, gave a live, practical lesson on how one can learn the amud and simultaneously cite wonderful chiddushim from the rishonim and acharonim and seamlessly weave them into the amud. At the conclusion of his shiur, Rav Hillel spoke about the unique maalos of Amud HaYomi. He explained that it goes without saying that an Amud HaYomi shiur should be given for the same amount of time as a daf yomi shiur. “A maggid shiur,” he explained, “can have the opportunity to point out the way Rashi learns the Gemara and cite the opinion of Tosafos that differs with Rashi. He has the luxury of being able to explain why Tosafos argues on Rashi. If he prepares well, he can truly convey the underpinnings of the sugya. During the first two weeks since the start of the Amud HaYomi, Dirshu’s offices both in America and Eretz Yisrael have been bombarded with phone calls. Many, many people have called to ask that a shiur be set up in their shul or neighborhood. Many maggidei shiur have called with offers to deliver shiurim. Thousands upon thousands of Yidden have signed up to join the program and receive the Iyun Ha’amud Kuntres that offers interesting maareh mekomos and chiddushim on the Gemara, Rashi and Tosafos on every amud. The Skverer Rebbe: More Torah, More Light

Discussing Dirshu’s Amud HaYomi program with the Rachmastrivka Rebbe

Recently, a Dirshu delegation came to Shikun Skver to receive a bracha from the Skverer Rebbe shlita, for this new transformative undertaking. The Rebbe was extremely pleased to hear about the new Amud HaYomi program, and he told them, “The truth is that in Skver we also have an Amud HaYomi program with a different schedule. I remember when our program was originally proposed, I was a bit hesitant and didn’t immediately give it my blessing. I was afraid,” the Rebbe said, “that perhaps limiting the learning to an amud would make some people learn less, not more. We know that when it comes to kedushah, to anything holy, we always go up and we can never go down. In the end, however, I did agree, and I realized that any apprehension that I had was unfounded. The Torah learning in the kehillah just became stronger. Torah is like a candle. When you light one candle from another, the second candle begins to give light without minimizing the first one’s light. It is the same thing with Torah. Another shiur, another program doesn’t take away from existing programs, it just adds more and more light… Rav Shlomo Eisenberger: “The Last Amud Hayomi Shiur That I Attended was Given by Rav Shach!” Another pesicha shiur on Masechta Brachos was given by the venerated Rosh Yeshiva of Telshe, HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Eisenberger, shlita. Rav Eisenberger reminisced that the last time he attended an Amud HaYomi shiur was in the Ponovezh Yeshiva and the maggid shiur was the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Shach! He said, “When I learned in Ponovezh many decades ago, Rav Shach delivered a blatt shiur. That zeman we were

learning Masechta Kesubos. When the Ponovezher Rav, Rav Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman suggested to Rav Shach that he learn five blatt a week in the blatt shiur, Rav Shach protested that it was too much. In the end they each compromised, and Rav Shach began delivering shiur on one amud a day. “I think the Amud HaYomi is an amazing idea! Not everyone can do a full blatt. In an amud, there is so much more that the maggid shiur can speak about. I remember how much Rav Shach spoke about on each amud. It is a real toeles…” Rav Dovid Hofstedter: “Without Torah the World is Suspended in Limbo” Rav Dovid Hofstedter, Nasi of Dirshu, also delivered a pesicha shiur, during which he explained in great depth many of the foundational sevaros related to the first amud of the masechta. The shiur, given in Toronto, was broadcast to chavrei Dirshu around the world. At the end, Rav Dovid gave divrei chizuk for a few minutes regarding the situation in which we currently find ourselves. He noted that Shas begins with the halachos of Kriyas Shema to teach us that first and foremost, before anything, we must have emunah, we must accept upon ourselves the ol malchus shamayim. With great passion, Rav Hofstedter exclaimed, “The entire world saw what happened on Simchas Torah in Eretz Yisrael. The entire world shuddered and was shocked by the barbaric acts perpetrated against Yidden in Eretz Yisrael. It seemed almost as if the kiyum ha’olam, the continuation of the world as we know it, was in doubt. Chazal tell us that for 26 generations until Hashem

gave the bris of the Torah, the world was hanging in limbo, as it were. When we accepted the Torah and mitzvos upon ourselves, the foundation of the world solidified. It was no longer suspended in limbo. “When we see today how it appears that the foundation of the sustenance of the world as we know it, is in doubt, we are doubly obligated to strengthen ourselves in the bris of Torah, because only Torah puts the world on a solid foundation. When we strengthen ourselves in Torah, that shields us and saves the world as Chazal tell us, “‘Im lo brisi yomam v’layla chukos shamayim v’aretz lo samti - were it not for klal Yisrael observing My Torah and mitzvos, the laws governing heaven and earth would have never been established.’” “What we must do is accept upon ourselves the ol Torah and increase our learning both in quantity and even more so in quality.” The Rachmastrivka Rebbe: “The Amud HaYomi is a Wonderful Opportunity!” The Rachmastrivka Rebbe, shlita, of Yerushalayim, was extremely pleased when informed of the establishment of the worldwide Amud HaYomi program. He said, “The fact that Dirshu has established a new daily learning program, the Amud HaYomi, is a wonderful opportunity.” There are many who find it difficult to learn the daf yomi. There are others who would rather learn less every day but want to still have time to review the previous days’ learning. A New Kevius, a New Zechus The message of the Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok Rebbe delivered through his son, was a message that was extremely appropriate for today’s precarious times. He said, “During this difficult period in which we live, there is a special zechus that comes with spreading Torah and facilitating more Torah learning all over the world. The Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh says that Moshe Rabbeinu did not want to redeem batlanim min haTorah, those that do not sit and learn Torah. The new Amud HaYomi program that will exponentially increase Torah learning, should serve as a zechus to finally bring Moshiach, whom we are so awaiting!” To join Amud HaYomi or to find a shiur near you, please contact Dirshu at 1888-5Dirshu or Info@dirshunj.org

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Your

Money

Mind the Gap By Allan Rolnick, CPA

ast week, the IRS announced that the “tax gap”—the difference between the amount of taxes Americans legally owed and the amount they actually paid—grew to $688 billion for 2021. That’s a lot more than a few pizza shop owners skimming out of the cash drawer. With Uncle Sam routinely running trillion-dollar deficits, closing that gap is a top priority at 1111 Constitution Avenue. The 2022 Inflation Reduction Act authorized the IRS to spend an extra $80 billion over the next 10 years. Only time will tell if the extra money helps—or even gets spent— in a government that can’t seem to get its act together. The tax gap comes from three separate places. “Underreporting” is when taxpayers fail to accurately report their liability. “Underpayment” is when taxpayers simply fail to pay the amount of tax they report. And “non-filing,” as you’ve already cleverly guessed, is when taxpayers burrow into a hole and hope the IRS just doesn’t find them. Underreporting accounts for 80% of the gap—this comes mostly in taxes owed on income not subject to withholding or reporting requirements, such as rental real estate or business income. The news on the collection front isn’t all bad. The IRS also announced last week

that they had succeeded in collecting $122 million in back taxes by clamping down on a group of 1,600 taxpayers who earned $1 million per year or more and who also owed $250,000 or more in tax. In one case, they squeezed $15 million out of someone way out on the shameless spectrum who tried to deduct personal expenses, including a -51,000square-

ers blowing off their back taxes to close a $688 billion gap. Accomplishing that goal is going to take cracking on large public companies that don’t pay their proper amount. The Service is also focusing new attention on large partnerships, including hedge funds and large law firms. And they’ll be increasing audits for taxpayers earning $400,000 or more. (Social media

In one case, they squeezed $15 million out of someone way out on the shameless spectrum who tried to deduct personal expenses, including a 51,000-square-foot mansion with an indoor basketball court.

foot mansion with an indoor basketball court, luxury cars, artwork, country club membership, and homes for his children. Here’s the problem with all of those efforts. $122 million of the lower deficit is great, especially when the taxpayer isn’t disputing the amount owed. But there simply aren’t enough million-dollar earn-

scuttlebutt that the $80 million in funding will mean 87,000 new gun-toting IRS agents is greatly exaggerated—but that’s a topic for a different story.) There’s another factor worth considering here, too. It’s the “reverse tax gap” that occurs when taxpayers pay too much because they aren’t aware

of all the various deductions, credits, loopholes, and strategies they can use to pay less. Tax planners like us routinely find business owner clients paying tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands more than they legally owe. It’s far worse when they go to sell those businesses at the end of a successful career and pay millions in tax that we could have helped them defer or eliminate. We’d sure like to see an official IRS estimate for that figure! Simplifying the tax system would help close both gaps. Unfortunately, right now, our government can’t manage a vote to declare that ice cream tastes good. The odds of “fixing” the code, or even giving the IRS the funding it needs to enforce the one we already have, seem as likely as finding intelligent life in space. None of this means the IRS is going to come looking for you. Just play by the rules, and you’ll be fine. And count on us to help you navigate those rules as favorably as possible!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

to The Candy Store

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HEY KIDS!

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Yoni Lichter

Tehila M, 4

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Eliana Kushner, 4

Gabby Vanderwalde, 5

Michali S, 8

Rachel Gradon, 5

Tamir Fogel, 7

Tziporah S.

Zevy Seidel, 3

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Aryeh Kushner, 7

Avi Greenfeld, 5

Boaz klein, 5

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Meyer Scheinfeld, 53/4

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Noam

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Tuvser, 11

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Yerachmiel Dovid, 6

Yisrael Shalom Paige, 10

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Aidan, 7 and Maya, 3 Feierstein

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A.M Fuentes, 7

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In The K tchen

Naomi’s Challah Recipe Pareve / Yields 6 Medium Challahs

By Naomi Nachman

I a m sharing my challah recipe from my cookbook, Perfect F lavors. It is easy to make the dough in a Magic Mill or Bosch mixer, but you can skip that and mix it by hand in a big bowl. Y ou’ ll never buy challah again after seeing how easy it is to make your own challah. Ingredients

◦ 4 cups warm water ◦ 2 cups sugar ◦ 2 tablespoons dry yeast ◦ 6 eggs ◦ ¾ cup canola oil

3. After the yeast has proofed, add oil/egg mixture to the bowl; stir to combine. 4. Stir half the flour into the mixture; mix well. Once it has started to combine,

◦ 5-pound bag high gluten flour

add salt and remaining flour. Knead until a dough ball forms. It shouldn’t be too

◦ 1 tablespoon salt

sticky or crumbly.

Topping ◦ 1 egg, lightly beaten ◦ Toppings, such as sesame or poppy seeds

5. Place dough ball into a greased bowl. Cover; let rise for 1½ - 2 hours. 6. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 2-3 baking sheets with parchment paper; set aside.

7. Divide dough into 6 portions. Then divide each portion into 3 parts. Roll each

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part into a 12-inch rope; use 3 ropes to braid each challah.

Preparation

8. Place challahs on prepared baking sheets. Brush the tops with beaten egg and choice of toppings, if using. Bake for about 40 minutes, until golden brown.

1. Proof the yeast: Into a large bowl, pour 4 cups very warm water (not hotter

than 115°F); add sugar and yeast. Let it proof till it bubbles about 5 minutes and set aside.

2. Meanwhile, mix eggs and oil together in a small bowl. Set aside.

Cook’s note: You can use different braiding techniques. After egg wash, you can add various toppings, including: sesame seeds, poppy seeds, minced onion, zaatar, pumpkin seeds, or streusel crumbs.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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‫מסכת‬ ‫בבא קמא‬

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