Baltimore Jewish Home - 12-14-23

VISIT US ON THE WEB! WWW.THEBJH.COM Vol. 9 Issue #24 | December 14-27, 2023 | ‫ ט״ז טבת תשפ״ד‬- ‫ג׳‬

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JES Provides Community Professional Day for Baltimore Jewish Day Schools

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Pick A Card, Any Card

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3D-Printed Phone Chargers for Military Vehicles in Israel

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

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R O M I T L A B N ATTENTIO

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

DECEMBER 14, 2023

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Contents

Dear Readers,

COMMUNITY

Around the Community

6

Community Calendar

40

Weekday Minyanim Guide

41

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman

38

PEOPLE 613 Seconds

15

FEATURES Pick A Card, Any Card

52

Towards a Healthier Self

67

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold

56

Notable Quotes

58

Kids Coloring Contest

74

Donut Contest

76

LIFESTYLES Mental Health Corner

44

Tech Triumphs

46

A Boost of Inspiration

48

Bikur Cholim

50

Tech Talk

55

School of Thought

61

Dating Dialogue

62

Common Cents

70

To Raise a Laugh

72

Your Money

78

In the Kitchen

79

As Chanukah draws to a close, a particularly relevant message emerges. The miracle of Chanukah symbolized the victory of the Jewish people over the Yevanim. The Yevanim, as a culture, venerated perfection, endorsing math, science, and the supremacy of the human body.

Both math and science demand precise answers —no half-credit—and a flawless physique was seen as deserving worship and the pinnacle of human achievement.

However, within Yiddishkeit, perfection isn’t a prerequisite. Partial efforts are valued and can still merit full credit. Our aspiration is to continually strive for upward growth. Our goal post remains in constant motion, and we approach Judaism with the understanding that growth stands as the paramount virtue.

Undoubtedly, our triumph was realized through one of the most renowned miracles in our history. It was a neis of ‫—רבים ביד מעטים‬the many overcome by the few—or the incomplete prevailing over the complete.

This concept finds further emphasis in the pach shemen, the small drop of oil used to kindle the Menorah. Our yearning to fulfill the mitzvah of lighting the Menorah was so fervent that Hashem credited us fully for the lighting, despite the quantity being typically insufficient for the mitzvah.

We can certainly apply this idea to the current situation in Israel. Klal Yisroel is facing an ‫עת‬ ‫צרה‬, and it’s the responsibility of each individual to take action. For some, this might mean risking their lives in the fight for the future, while for others, it could involve davening, learning, tzedakah, or chesed. Every effort, irrespective of its magnitude, holds significance.

Let’s internalize the lessons of Chanukah and recall the famous words of Rabbi Yissocher Frand Shlita: “Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good.”

Wishing everyone a peaceful Shabbos, Aaron Menachem

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Additionally, very few mitzvos are tiered like the mitzvah of lighting the Chanukah menorah. While we are all encouraged to enhance our observance by progressively adding candles each night of Chanukah (‫)מהדרין מן המהדרין‬, we are advised that even if one lights a single candle for their entire family, the mitzvah is fulfilled. The emphasis lies in the effort extended to fulfill a mitzvah to the best of our abilities.

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The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

JEWISH CARING NETWORK

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Touch Lives and Make a Difference

Last year, JCN provided over $700,000 in programs and services to help families facing a serious medical diagnosis.

This year, the demands for help are even greater and we simply cannot do it without your support.

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Around the Community

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

Jewish Educational Services Provides Community Professional Day for Baltimore Jewish Day Schools

J

ewish Educational Services is proud to support Jewish schools in Baltimore. When Rabbi Moshe Frohlich from Bais Yaakov and Rabbi Hillel Hexter from Talmudical Academy approached Rabbi Aaron Levitt, Executive Director of JES, with a request for a professional development day for the day school community, JES was excited to get involved. In partnership with Rabbi Heshy Glass and Eli Shapiro from the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools (COJDS), JES hosted a community-wide professional day on November 7.

Over 550 educators from 10 local schools, as well as several from outside Maryland, packed into the auditorium at Bais Yaakov High School to hear Larry Thompson, M.Ed describe how to apply his proprietary program, RCD: Responsibility Centered Discipline, in the classroom and as part of the school culture. Through this program, Mr. Thompson has helped

thousands of educators and schools throughout North America shift from their traditional discipline models to a model that cultivates a climate of responsible students who are ready to take ownership for their actions and make better choices. New and veteran teachers connected with what he said, often nodding along in agreement and recognizing scenarios that he presented were happening in their classrooms or schools.

Referencing his book, Roadmap to Responsibility: The Power of Give ‘em Five, Mr. Thompson’s main message was to provide strategies for educators

to change their practice of discipline from trying to control students to helping them learn how to maintain control of themselves. Instead of threatening students to get them to comply, present them with the opportunity to do their best to ensure that they feel valuable even if they didn’t meet their academic mark.

Following the three-hour session, principals and administrators has a special lunch session with Mr. Thompson where he cautioned them that in order for his program to be properly implemented, teachers needed the support of their administrators, proper

training, and sufficient time to practice.

The presentation by Larry Thompson on his discipline system, RCD (Responsibility Centered Discipline), was exceptional. It was heartening to witness so many schools come together in support of a common cause—the betterment of our students. The event, which you sponsored, brought together educators and administrators from various institutions, fostering a sense of unity and shared purpose in our mission to provide the best education possible for our students. - Rabbi Hillel Hexter, Talmudical Academy Thank you deeply for arranging such a successful day of professional learning! Our faculty who attended felt they gained a lot from the presentation and be”H they’ll have a few more tricks in their toolbox when considering the topic of classroom management. - Rabbi Yochanon Stein, Bais Yaakov

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Please Partner With Us...

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Keeping You Close

When It Matters

DECEMBER 14, 2023

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Tikva House serves as a home base – physically and emotionally – for Jewish families of loved ones receiving treatment at Johns Hopkins Hospital and Kennedy Krieger Institute, providing stability, comfort, and hope for patients and their families.

Infinite Impact 3,650

Overnight Stays

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Weekday Meals

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Shabbos Meals

179

Toys, Games, & Books for patients in the hospital & their Tikva House siblings

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Big Brothers/ Big Sisters

35

Pesach Sedarim + 7 Seder Plates, one for each family!

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Bags Of Chanukah Gelt, Dreidels & Sufganiyot

One for each child staying in the Tikva House for Chanukah!

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Rosh Hashana Meals

+ 7 Apple & Honey Kits

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Sukkos Meals + 1 Lulav & Esrog

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Tu B’shvat Platters

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Shalom Zachors

112

Purim Seudos + 7 Shaloch Manos

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Birthday Parties

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Shavuos Meals + 7 Cheesecakes

+ 7 Menorahs, one for each family staying in the Tikva House for Chanukah!

Please Consider Tikva House for Your Year-End Giving 410-534-1033 | Info@TikvaHouse.org | www.TikvaHouse.org Jewish Caring Network services are available to any Jewish family, regardless of affiliation or level of observance.

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Hospital Visits

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Sefarim, Siddurim & Judaic Books + 1 Tallis & Tefillin

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Singer Visits To Patient Rooms & Tikva House

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Chanukah Toy Packages

Each year the Tikva House provides:

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Around the Community

Amid Rising Antisemitism, Jewish Student Union a Lifeline in Public Schools

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

NCSY’s JSU Supports Jewish Public School Students Facing Antisemitism, Anti-Zionism on Campus

Garrison Forrest JSU students of Baltimore, Maryland, pose with the Shabbat candle holders they decorated

I

n the Houston suburb of Dickinson, Texas, 14-yearold Talya H. was expecting to begin her regular English lesson when she entered her public school classroom. Instead, Talya was accosted by her teacher, who had scrawled “No Justice, No Peace” and “Justice 4 Palestine” on the whiteboard.

“The teacher asked, ‘Oh, you still have family in Israel?’ I said, ‘Yes, of course. All my family is over there.

And I’m from there too,’” Talya recounted to FOX 26 Houston.

As the only Jew in her school, the confrontation left Talya shaken and scared to return.

Upon learning of the incident, Houston Jewish Student Union (JSU) Director Rabbi Nati Stern immediately reached out to Talya and her family to offer them support. JSU is a network of after-school Jewish culture clubs for North American Jewish students in public schools and non-Jewish private schools. JSU staff engage over 17,000 teens at 316 schools across the country in meaningful discussions, education and celebrations centering on Judaism and Israel, and help interested teens to develop relationships with their Jewish heritage, identities and values.

JSUs are open to non-Jewish students as well, with the goal of fostering an understanding of, and allyship with, their Jewish peers.

“What happened to Talya is totally unacceptable,” says Rabbi Stern, who oversees eight JSUs in the Greater Houston Area. “We need to be there for Talya and her family, and for our Jewish brothers and sisters. Talya’s school does not have a JSU because there is no Jewish population, but JSU services Jewish families in the Great-

er Houston Area, and our mission is to help Talya and her family. We are now helping them to explore Jewish schools in the area as she is considering her options.”

Beyond the shock everyone sustained around the October 7 atrocities, Rabbi Stern says Jewish public-school students are now struggling to absorb the reality that former friends now relate to them as enemies and freely post pro-Hamas videos and make antisemitic jokes.

“I wish I could say that Talya’s was an isolated incident, but I can’t,” says NCSY and JSU International Director Rabbi Micah Greenland. “Reports like this have been streaming in ever since Hamas’ October 7 attack. We are seeing an unprecedented crisis unfold for our public school students, as they face hate from fellow students and, in many cases, inaction – at best – from their school administration. The isolation and loneliness that teens are feeling in this environment is through the roof.”

In the weeks since October 7, Jewish Student Union (JSU) West Coast Regional Director Rabbi Derek Gormin has observed a marked increase in the number of students joining the 76 clubs he oversees in California, Oregon, Washington, Arizona, Nevada, Utah and Idaho.

The West Coast JSUs are not unique. Throughout North America, clubs that previously had 25 or 30 participants now have over 100. Since October 7, 30 new JSU clubs have been started across the U.S. alone.

While Rabbi Gormin notes that the war in Israel has awakened a sense of camaraderie, nationhood, and tradition within many Jewish high school stu-

Over 100 teens from 15 public and secular private schools in Baltimore, Maryland, participate in JSU’s Latte and Learning

dents, others are scared to openly identify as Jews or to hold Jewish events on campus for fear of being subjected to malicious anti-Israel and antisemitic rhetoric from peers, teachers and administrators.

In response to the tremendous influx of JSU members and Jewish students’ urgent need for immediate and long-term support, NCSY’s JSU has launched a $50 million campaign.

Funds raised will enable JSU to triple its investment in each JSU student to meet the full spectrum of their needs; open new clubs and expand existing offerings; increase security at clubs and events to ensure students feel safe to attend; provide mental health support for teens experiencing antisemitism at school; support students’ families via educational programming, events and general spiritual support during this difficult time; and enable more teens to travel to Israel on life-changing programs that strengthen their Jewish connections.

“Our students need a safe place where they can be proud Jews and have more programs,” says Rabbi Gormin. “We can’t accept that even one Jewish student in any high school in the country doesn’t have a place to turn. We have an obligation to protect them, to provide them with a meaningful community that’s filled with joy and pride and allows them to be open about their Judaism.”

Rabbi Stern agrees: “Our work at JSU is more important than ever,” he says. “Having ample staff on the ground to run clubs and create a safe space for teens goes such a long way.

Since October 7, countless parents and teens have expressed their grati-

tude to JSU for leading the charge in the public-school space for our Jewish students, who feel empowered by the connections, education, and opportunities to learn more about, and to stand with, Israel.”

CONTACT: Natan Cohen Director of Marketing, NCSY 551-204-6858 natan.cohen@ncsy.org About JSU JSU is a welcoming and vibrant Jewish community where teens learn and connect with each other, explore Jewish culture and history, and discover opportunities for deeper engagement. From just four clubs in Los Angeles in 2002, JSU has grown into a national network of over 320 clubs, transforming the high school experience for more than 17,000 students across North America every year.

Through immersive experiences in social leadership, cultural programming, and domestic and overseas trips, teens can expect to meet new people, learn new things, and explore new horizons.

About NCSY NCSY Connects with Jewish teens through innovative, cutting-edge social and recreational programs to develop a positive Jewish identity. NCSY Inspires Jewish teens and their connection to Israel through informal Jewish education, retreats and summer programs.

NCSY Empowers teens through leadership development and guidance to become passionately committed leaders of the Jewish community and instruments for positive change and renewal.

About the Orthodox Union Founded in 1898, the Orthodox Union (OU), or Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America, serves as the voice of American Orthodox Jewry, with over 400 congregations in its synagogue network. As the umbrella organization for American Orthodox Jewry, the OU is at the forefront of advocacy work on both state and federal levels, outreach to Jewish teens and young professionals through NCSY, Israel Free Spirit Birthright, Yachad and OU Press, among many other divisions and programs.

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Around the Community

Rabbi Shmuel Silber & Family Join Former Baltimorean and TA Rebbi Rabbi Avraham Leventhal & Lema’an Achai and IDF Soldiers for Chanukah Celebration Near Gaza By: Rabbi Avraham Leventhal/Lema’an Achai

W

hat a tremendous privilege to spend the 4th night of Chanuka with chayalim in a base camp and bring along my yedid, Rabbi Shmuel Silber, his family and Lema’an Achai

volunteers and their families.

The Silber family visited with an artillery unit “bashetach” - not a base literally group of soldiers living in the field just a few kilometers from Gaza.

They had the zechus to participate in the hadlaka, sponsor dinner and a mesibah and send messages on artillery shells.

An incredible and holy group of

precious neshamos. In addition to pizza, latkes, shoko and cookies, Lema’an Achai distributed thermal clothing, camelbacks, headlamps, protein bars, beef jerky and other essentials to these heroes in green. May our modern day Chashmonaim/Macabees witness a miraculous victory just as happened years ago.

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

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Around the Community

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

Melava Malaka of Unity

T

he lights were dim; the mood was anything but that.

Staff and parent volunteers of Yeshivas Toras Simcha had converted their gymnasium into a hall of inspiration and unity. Inviting their entire parent body, the goal was to celebrate, strengthen and encourage the growth of the school both in size and in energy.

YTS now has a full roster of grades, from Nursery through their first graduating class of eighth graders, as well as a very large installment of new mechanchim and administrative positions as of this year.

It was a chance for the hanhalla – both new and old - to interface with the parents and to connect over the missions, goals and values of Yeshivas Toras Simcha. Rabbi Hillel Shepard, the school’s new Menahel who moved from Cincinnati this past summer to assume his leadership of the school

this year, opened the evening with Tehillim and led the men in music and prayer, singing Acheinu kol beis Yisroel for our Nation in distress.

As the crowd enjoyed a tremendous spread, catered by Milk and Honey Bistro, lit by spotlights and served with elegance, a large screen showed an in-house video interviewing many of YTS’ own students highlighting the energy and upward growth of the school. Most of those boys inter-

viewed mentioned their appreciation of the things that indeed set Toras Simcha apart: they noted the many programs and activities that the Program Director, Rabbi Shai Scherer, infuses into the halls and walls – and talmidim - every day; they spoke about the warm greeting that they receive every day by multiple staff members on their way into class; and they related gratitude for the friends they have for work

and play. Friendship is a focus of YTS, along with attention to each student in a warm atmosphere. Tonight, the parents got to enjoy that atmosphere of friendship and warmth.

A last part of the memorable evening put the school’s Rabbeim into the spotlight. A list of questions from parents on a few chinuch categories made for the subject matter of a Question and Answer session. Parents saw the Rabbeim in a remarkable light. Their answers unscripted, the expertise and dedication of the Rabbeim in their holy calling was clear and evident.

And engaging.

An evening that started as a chizuk ended that way as well, with parents taking home kernels of wisdom from the Rabbeim together with a large measure of pride and nachas from the progress and the chinuch of their children.

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it had been going since its inception.

I therefore accepted the position as Menahel. I continue to be impressed with all the above, and more.

What kind of students and families are drawn to YTS? YTS aims to present and inspire talmidim to embrace Torah and Yiras Shamayim in a context of positivity without undue pressure. Importantly, we seek to cultivate simcha through achievement as well. Success breeds success! Toras Simcha is smaller than many of the other schools in the area.

We aim to grow, b’ezras Hashem, but to no more than two parallel classes per grade, so that we can afford to provide close and targeted care for our talmidim.

In what ways does YTS teach and reach its students?

Rabbeim, for starters There’s color to their presentations, literally and figuratively. There’s deliberate structure and great preparation mixed with song and joy. Traditional frontal teaching transitions frequently to differentiated lessons, chavrusas and exploration – at many grade levels. Our entire staff – including our secular studies staff takes their roles and responsibilities seriously, creating an atmosphere of learning, productivity, and most importantly – respect.

Our resource room is another great feature of the yeshiva. They are constantly screening talmidim, advising staff, assisting and tutoring, bringing up any student who might need additional support.

Our many programs and initiatives - thanks to our inimitable Program Director, Rabbi Shai Scherer - capture the motivation, the excitement and the imagination of our talmidim. There’s always something in the air here, bringing out the best of their eager energies to learn.

YTS’s approach for preparing our talmidim for their future lives as B’nei Torah includes a focus on middos and respect coupled with a great appreciation of diligence and effort at the individual talmid’s level. Those reference points guide us as a team and influence the entire school.

What do you envision for the future growth of the school?

As I mentioned, we plan to incorporate a second class per grade level.

As I entered the school, we further enhanced our Preschool Division. In the very capable hands of Mrs. Hayley Bazelon, that important part of our school has seen tremendous success even in the short few months of this year.

With the support of our Board of Directors and the enthusiastic encouragement of our devoted parent body that the school has enjoyed until this point, and with a great dose of Siyata Dishmaya, we hope to continue providing excellent chinuch to our talmidim - both present and future.

Above all, we look forward to taking whatever steps are necessary to guide the school along our mission’s lines: to teach and inspire a child’s life of Torah with success and simcha!

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Welcome to Baltimore! We understand that this is not your first time around here.

Correct. The Shepards actually started in Silver Spring, MD, but I commuted to TA in Baltimore as a third grader for an entire year. We then moved to Baltimore and I continued in TA for three great years: from third through fifth grade. For sixth grade through eighth, I switched to TI. My Rabbeim and experiences in both schools were phenomenal. To this day, especially in my current position, I draw from the learning and inspiration that were so much a part of my youth in Baltimore.

Was that the end of your Baltimore experience?

Definitely not. I went away to high school in Philadelphia, and then I came back to Baltimore to learn at Ner Israel. Hashem gave me the tremendous privilege to become a very close talmid of Rav Kulefsky. As he was nearly blind, I would help him

read and prepare for his shiur. I spent almost two years in his shiur.

How did you get into the field of chinuch?

I began with say some shiurim at Yeshiva Shaarei Torah in Monsey for an older post-beis medrash group of boys. After a brief two year stay in Eretz Yisrael as newlyweds, we moved back, and I began a nine-year stint as the eleventh grade Rebbi at that same yeshiva. That experience was the setting for my growth as an educator. I learned that classrooms are at once structured and dynamic places: both forgiving in terms of learning and growth, and unforgiving for a mechanech who is still learning the skill of classroom management. Fortunately, I had excellent guidance and wonderful talmidim to mitigate the occasional but inevitable “learning it the hard way”. With Hashem’s help, I found my teaching style and worked on improving it through the years.

Just three years ago, we moved to Cincinnati for a rare opportunity to start a new Yeshiva for high school aged boys. After three years in Ohio, we sought to move back to the East Coast. My wife’s family still lives here in Baltimore.

What drew you to Yeshivas Toras Simcha?

YTS stands out in its mission of teaching Torah with warmth and joy.

At the time, I met the Rabbeim, the board, and the talmidim, and I was impressed with the atmosphere of the school and the direction in which

DECEMBER 14, 2023

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Will U.S. Support For The War Run Out?

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The U.S. government has, until now, remained largely loyal to Israel in its war against the Hamas terrorist organization which invaded the Jewish state on October 7, murdering over 1,200 people, abducting 240 others, and maiming thousands more. However, the following question remains: how many more weeks of war will Washington tolerate before its support for the Jewish state’s defense runs out?

A senior Israeli defense official has said that the IDF requires an additional three to four weeks until it’s finished with its offensive in Khan Younis, a major Gazan city which, according to Israel, is where much of the terror group is based, and another month or so to complete the first stage of the war. While the U.S. has yet to provide a specific deadline for when it expects Israel to withdraw from Gaza, the Israeli official has stated that the United States has indicated that it would like that time to be sooner rather than later.

“The American message is that they would like to see us finish the fighting sooner, with less harm to Palestinian civilians and more humanitarian assistance for Gaza. We would also like this to happen, but the enemy does not always agree,” said the official. “The Americans understand this, and we are working together. We need them and they need us.”

While, according to reports, U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken said that Israel may only have “weeks” to finish its military campaign in Gaza, a

National Security Council spokesperson indicated otherwise: “These are Israeli military operations, and the Israelis will decide their course. We will continue to support Israel’s efforts to defend itself from Hamas terrorists.”

Jon Finer, the U.S. Deputy National Security Adviser, similarly expressed that Israel “has said that Hamas can no longer govern, can no longer be in charge of Gaza. We think that is a very legitimate objective, given what has happened on October 7 and since.”

On Friday, the U.S. stopped the United Nations from passing a resolution that demanded a ceasefire in the Gaza Strip, which the U.N. Secretary-General has called a “humanitarian nightmare.” Since Israel began its response to the October 7th attacks, the United States has urged the Jewish state to allow humanitarian aid into Gaza and avoid civilian casualties. On Thursday, Blinken expressed disappointment at what he calls “a gap” between what Israel promised concerning saving civilian lives in Gaza and what has been accomplished, and he has insisted that it is “imperative” that Israel put more effort into avoiding civilian casualties.

Maor Meir Cohen and Gal Meir Eisenkot, HY”D:

On the Gazan battlefield, two Israeli soldiers were recently killed, both of whom were related to Minister Gadi Eisenkot, a former general and current war cabinet member.

The first was Eisenkot’s son, Gal Meir, who was killed on Thursday, December 7. On Saturday, it was announced that the minister’s nephew, Maor Meir Cohen, had also tragically perished in combat.

Cohen was a regular duty service member. His parents were Sharon Eisenkot, the minister’s half-sister, and Michael Mishel Cohen. News of his death came one day after Gal’s

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The Week In News funeral. The two fallen soldiers, who were cousins with one another, were both named after their grandfather, Meir.

Sergeant Major (Res.) Gal Meir Eisenkot was killed serving as a Battalion 699 reservist in northern Gaza, after a bomb exploded in a tunnel shaft near soldiers in the Jabaliya camp in northern Gaza. The sergeant’s funeral was held a day later and was attended by thousands. Gal was buried at Herzliya military cemetery.

“Our young son Galush, your mother and I are here with a multitude to honor you one last time,” Minister Eisenkot said, eulogizing his son.

“The State of Israel will remain strong, progressive, and just, as you always wished… We will remain a united, joyful family and honor the sacrifices made for the sake of our fellow soldiers and the entire Israeli people.”

He added, “Gal, I promise that we will continue the campaign [in Gaza], fighting to strengthen the state you so loved, and especially so that it will be strong, developed and just.”

So Many Fallen Soldiers

who were killed as Maj. (res.) Roman Bronshtein, a forty-six-year-old from Bat Yam; Cpt. (res.) Eliya Yanovsky, a twenty-four-year-old from Jerusalem; Master Sgt. (res.) Ari Yehiel Zenilman, a thirty-two-year-old from Jerusalem; Sgt. Major (res.) Etay Perry, a thirtysix-year-old from Moddin; and Maj. (res.) Eviatar Cohen, a forty-two-yearold from Kfar Saba. Four more soldiers were injured in this particular attack, one of whom was seriously wounded.

The sixth soldier, who passed away on Sunday while in Gaza, was Sgt. Major (res.) Gideon Ilani, a thirty-fiveyear-old belonging to the 55th Reserve Paratroopers Brigade’s 2855th Battalion, who lived in Asa’el, a community in the West Bank. The seventh was Maj. Gal Becher, a thirty-four-year-old from Oranit of the 36th Division, who died from a southern Israel traffic collision that had connections to military activity.

On the morning of Monday, December 11, the IDF announced that it had delivered seven tons of equipment to the 98th Division’s Commando Brigade in Khan Younis, marking the first IDF airdrop to troops since 2006 during the Second Lebanon War. On the same day, the Israel Air Force killed dozens of Hamas targets in Gaza, the IDF said.

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More Tears

Since the start of Israel’s ground operation in Gaza, which aims at destroying Hamas, at least 104 soldiers have been killed in combat, seven of whom perished on Sunday, December 10, amid intense battling in Khan Younis, a city in Gaza. The news of their deaths was announced by the Israel Defense Forces the following day.

Of the seven, all but two were from the 5th Brigade’s 8111st Battalion and were killed in an explosion near a Khan Younis school. The soldiers were shot at by terrorists who were in the school, the IDF said. The Hamas assailants responsible for the Sunday murders were killed, and the surrounding infrastructure was demolished, the military added.

The IDF named the five soldiers

On Wednesday, the IDF announced the tragic deaths of ten more soldiers who died in Gaza while defending the Jewish state, bringing the death toll in the ground offensive to 115.

Nine of the soldiers were killed in a battle in the heart of Shejaiya, one of the deadliest single encounters since troops pushed into the Strip.

The IDF named those killed in the battle in Shejaiya as Col. Itzhak Ben Basat, 44, head of the Golani Brigade’s commander’s team, from Sde Ya’akov; Lt. Col. Tomer Grinberg, 35, the commander of the Golani Brigade’s 13th Battalion, from Almog; Maj. Roei

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The Week In News Meldasi, 23, a company commander in the 13th Battalion, from Afula; Maj. Moshe Avram Bar On, 23, a company commander in the Golani Brigade’s 51st Battalion, from Ra’anana; Cpt. Liel Hayo, 22, a platoon commander in the 51st Battalion, from Shoham; Sgt. Achia Daskal, 19, a soldier in the 51st Battalion, from Haifa; Sgt. Eran Aloni, 19, of the 51st Battalion, from Ofakim. Maj. Ben Shelly, 26, a squad commander in the Israeli Air Force’s Unit 669, from Kidron; and Sgt. First Class Rom Hecht, 20, of Unit 669, from Givatayim.

Ben Basat is the most senior IDF officer to have been killed in the ground offensive against Hamas.

Staff Sgt. Oriya Yaakov, 19, of the Combat Engineering Corps’ 614th Battalion, from Ashkelon, was killed in a separate incident in northern Gaza. The army said another three soldiers were seriously wounded.

The nine soldiers were killed on Tuesday evening, as infantry soldiers from Golani Brigade were carrying out search and rescue operations in the heart of Shejaiya, which is seen as a stronghold for Hamas. Four soldiers entered a building that had been thought to have been empty. They found an entrance to a tunnel, but Hamas terrorists ambushed them, hurling grenades, detonating an explosive device, and opening fire on them. The four soldiers were killed in the blast.

A second group of soldiers, attempting to reach them, were not able to make contact with them. They feared that the initial group had been captured, and others came to their assistance. Ben Bassat led the rescue operation; he was joined by Grinberg, of the 13th Battalion, and two other battalion commanders, who set up a perimeter to give the rescue force cover.

The soldiers attempting to rescue the first group came under fire from terrorists inside the other buildings.

Two soldiers from the Air Force’s elite Unit 669 search and rescue team were killed as they tried to break into the compound. Finally, the second group of soldiers reached the group of four soldiers, only to see that they had been killed.

At that stage, Grinberg’s force came under massive fire from a second building. Troops responded, including by firing a shoulder-launched missile

into the building which apparently detonated several other explosives inside and blew up the entire building.

Ben Basat, who was in the middle of retiring from the IDF but decided to remain when the war broke out, is the most senior officer to have been killed in the ground offensive against Hamas. He previously served as head of the Yiftah Brigade, a reserve commando unit, and before that as the head of the Paran Regional Brigade.

Grinberg is the eighth IDF lieutenant colonel killed since the October 7 massacre, and Ben Basat is the fifth colonel.

The IDF has been experiencing heavy fighting in Jabalya and Shejaiya as well in Khan Younis. Despite the tragic losses, the military says that it is in the middle of annihilating Hamas from Shejaiya, an area where the terror group has a major force and is closest to the border with Israel.

This week, the IDF also said that troops had found the bodies of Eden Zacharia, 27, and IDF Warrant Officer Ziv Dado, 36, who had both been taken hostage on October 7. They were found deep in a tunnel near the home of Hamas’ former commander of its northern Gaza Brigade. Two soldiers – Master Sgt. (res.) Gal Meir Eisenkot and Master Sgt. (res.) Eyal Meir Berkowitz – were killed during the operation to retrieve the bodies.

It is believed that Hamas still has 135 hostages in its clutches, although not all of them are alive.

Qatar Sent Millions To Gaza

Since 2018, Qatar has been sending millions of dollars to Gaza. In the aftermath of the October 7th Hamas terrorist attack, many Israeli and American officials have placed blame upon the Arab state for funding the terror group that invaded southern Israel, killing

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over 1,200 people, most of whom were civilians, and abducting more than 240. However, new reports allege that the Israeli government, under Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s administration, actually allowed Qatar to transfer funds to the Strip after the Gulf state held month-long negotiations with the Jewish state.

Investigations conducted by Shomrim, an Israeli watchdog group, reveal that Netanyahu permitted Qatar to send monthly payments to Gaza through Israeli land, even though the premier’s government warned him of the dangers of doing so.

While Qatar and Hamas insist that the funds have been solely used for humanitarian purposes, the Gulf Arab state has refused to discontinue the payments, even following the October 7th terrorist attack which was likely made possible with the Qatari funds in question.

“We’re not going to change our mandate. Our mandate is our continuous help and support for our brothers and sisters of Palestine. We will continue to do it systematically as we did it before,” asserted Mohammed bin Abdulaziz Al-Khulaifi, the Qatari minister of state for foreign affairs.

The funding supposedly began to compensate Gazan government workers whose salaries were lowered by the Palestinian Authority (PA) in 2017, a government source said. At that time, the PA was strongly against such payments. In August 2018, in a security cabinet meeting, Netanyahu’s government approved the funding. While many, at the time, were critical of Netanyahu’s decision, with some asserting that he wasn’t being hard enough on the terrorist group, the premier claimed that the deal would have a positive impact on both Israel and the Gaza Strip.

According to former senior Israeli Defense Ministry official Major General Amos Gilad, Netanyahu approved the funding, but Israeli intelligence agencies were not involved. Gilad added that there was a thought that such a deal would “weaken Palestinian sovereignty,” and by the same token, it was also, unfortunately, believed that “if you fed them (Hamas) with money, they would be tamed.”

Coming to the prime minister’s defense, an Israeli official said that assertions that Netanyahu sought to

keep Hamas “moderately weakened” are “utterly false.” Rather, the official added, the prime minister’s goal has been to diminish Hamas’ power “significantly.”

“He led three powerful military operations against Hamas which killed thousands of terrorists and senior Hamas commanders,” said the official. “Successive Israeli governments before, during, and after Netanyahu’s governments enabled money to go to Gaza. Not in order to strengthen Hamas but to prevent a humanitarian crisis by supporting critical infrastructure, including water and sewage systems to prevent the spread of disease and enable daily life.”

Plans to Rebuild

Israel’s Cabinet on Sunday approved the outline for a strategic multi-year plan to rehabilitate and develop the Gaza Strip-adjacent “Tekuma” region and its population.

The plan constitutes a broad budgetary framework for five years (20242028) of up to 18 billion shekels ($4.9 billion) intended to lead to the rehabilitation of the region.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, “In the area adjacent to the Gaza Strip at the start of the war, we established the Tekuma Authority.”

(Tekuma means “revival” in Hebrew.)

“We provided a massive budget to rebuild the communities and to ensure that nobody will be left behind,” he added.

The outline, formulated in cooperation with the local authorities and communities, is designed to lead to the renewal and development of the region with significant demographic growth.

The framework will make the region “a prosperous and attractive focus and magnet for economic resilience, quality education, investments, and advanced and innovative agriculture,” the Prime Minister’s Office said

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in a statement.

With the framework’s approval, the Tekuma Authority will now produce a detailed multi-year, long-term plan to be published within 100 days.

Netanyahu said that Israel will ensure that the cities, rural communities, and various councils “will flourish and prosper for generations and surpass what was.

“We are committed to investing in education, employment, social services, assistance for evacuees, agriculture, businesses and every field,” he said.

“I would like to commend all those who are engaged in this important work, which we will submit to the government today. The wheat is being sown in the kibbutzim in the area adjacent to the Gaza Strip—and it will grow,” the prime minister said. (JNS)

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Peter Park passed the bar last year – and he wasn’t even old enough to vote.

Park was 17 when he managed to fly through the notoriously hard California Bar exam and passed the test on his first try. Now 18, he was sworn in as a practicing attorney this week.

The Tulare County District Attorney’s office announced the teen’s record-breaking achievement in a Facebook post, saying that it was a “legal history making moment.”

Park is used to doing things early.

He enrolled in Northwestern California University School of Law when he was 13 and still in high school, taking advantage of a state bar rule that allows students to apply to law school after completing the College Level Proficiency Exams.

He graduated from high school in

She’s six, and she’s really smart. Oh, and she wants to be a singer – or a fashion designer.

Declan Lopez has time to decide on what she wants to do when she grows up. But she’s on her way to achieving great things. The kindergartner from New Jersey is a member of Mensa, an international society for people with high intelligence quotients.

Declan’s mother, Meachel Lopez, said that Declan knew how to roll over and hold her bottle really early. And then, “out of nowhere,” she began to speak Mandarin at the age of 18 months.

Meachel was curious about her daughter’s IQ, so she had the then five-year-old tested in February. Turns out that Declan’s IQ was determined to be 137, which is in the 99th percentile. That score led the kindergartner to be accepted into Mensa.

Declan said that when she learns something new, “it feels silly and exciting.”

She goes to school each day, but then continues learning even after she

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The Week In News gets home.

This week, she learned about the periodic table of elements.

“She’s really interested in making sure she knows all about the atomic weights of the elements and she knows all the numbers and she knows all the symbols and she knows all the classifications,” Meachel said.

That’s more than I know.

The Tomato Escape

one to have eaten one of the first tomatoes harvested in space. This week, Frank was exonerated when the tiny tomato was found somewhere in the space station – eight months after Frank left back to Earth.

“Our good friend Frank Rubio, who headed home [already], has been blamed for quite a while for eating the tomato. But we can exonerate him. We found the tomato,” Jasmin Moghbeli, a fellow astronaut, said on a livestream celebrating the 25th anniversary of the space station.

Rubio, who returned to Earth in September, had been the target of joking accusations for months that he had eaten the space-grown fruit.

“I spent so many hours looking for that thing,” Frank said during a September space station livestream. “I’m sure the desiccated tomato will show up at some point and vindicate me, years in the future.”

And finally, here it is: the missing piece of the salad.

For months, fellow astronauts thought that Frank Rubio had been the

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An Adorable Alligator

An unusual alligator was recently born at an alligator park in Florida. The little lizard is the first solid white leucistic alligator to be born at the facility.

Lest you wonder what a leucistic alligator is, have no fear. They were first discovered in Louisiana almost four decades ago. There are only seven known to still survive in the world; three are housed at Gatorland.

Leucism is a rare genetic condition in alligators. The condition “causes white coloration, but they often have patches or splotches of normal coloration on their skin. Without the darker skin pigmentation, they can’t have direct sunlight for long periods of time because they sunburn easily,” Gatorland said.

They also have bright blue eyes. Albino alligators, on the other hand, lack pigment and have pink eyes.

“This is beyond rare; it is absolutely extraordinary,” the park said.

This is the first leucistic alligator to be born into human care.

For now, the baby will be off-limits to visitors. She will be on display next year.

See ya later, alligator.

Duped Diplomacy This could have been a great Purim shpiel, but it really happened.

Arnaldo Chamorro, a senior official in Paraguay, was fired last week after signing a cooperation memorandum with a country he has since learned does not exist.

Chamorro was chief of staff to the agriculture minister. He had signed the document with purported officials from the “United States of Kailasa” — which he was told was a South American island.

“They came and expressed a wish to help Paraguay. They presented several projects, we listened to them and that was that,” he said, admitting to having been fooled.

The fake officials also met his minister, Carlos Gimenez.

In the document, complete with the ministry’s letterhead and official seal, Chamorro salutes “the honorable Nithyananda Paramashivam, sovereign of the United States of Kailasa,” and praises his “contributions to Hinduism, humanity and the Republic of Paraguay.”

The memorandum further recommends that the “government of Paraguay actively explore the establishment of diplomatic relations with the United States of Kailasa and supports its admission as a sovereign state to various international organizations, including the United Nations.”

Officials in Paraguay are saying that the memorandums are not “considered official” since they were made under false pretenses.

Seems like anyone can be scammed.

Alex Jones Back on X Elon Musk on Sunday allowed Alex Jones to return to social media platform X, which banned him more than five years ago for posting harassing messages.

Jones spent years promoting the claim that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 was a hoax.

Last year, he was ordered to pay nearly $1.5 billion to the families of eight victims of the massacre for defamation.

Also banned by Facebook and YouTube, Jones had said he hoped Musk would reinstate his account on X, formerly Twitter. In an interview with Tucker Carlson that aired Thursday on X, Jones said users regularly called on Musk to bring him back to the platform.

“I trend all the time, ‘Hey, if you’re such an absolutist on free speech, bring back Alex Jones,’” Jones said.

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The Week In News “I understand that he needs to go through a process before he does that.”

On Saturday, Musk responded to a user on X who said it was time for him to bring Jones back to the platform.

“Ok,” Musk wrote.

Musk then started a poll, asking his 165 million followers if he should bring back Jones’ account. By early Sunday, an overwhelming majority of the nearly 2 million respondents voted in favor of reinstating Jones’ account.

In the comments section of the poll, Musk signaled that he would do just that: “The people have spoken and so it shall be,” he wrote.

Musk restored the account Sunday morning, although Jones did not immediately post.

The move to reactivate Jones’ account could further alienate advertisers, who have abandoned the platform in droves over concerns that Musk’s lack of content moderation allowed their brands to appear alongside offensive content. At The New York Times’ DealBook Summit in November, Musk insulted advertisers using an expletive

and told them not to spend on his platform.

Since then, X has pursued small businesses and sought their advertising dollars to replace the revenue it once counted on from major brands.

“If you’re a small business and have a product idea for us or a new way we can help you out more, please share,” X’s CEO, Linda Yaccarino, posted Friday. (© The New York Times)

UNLV Shooting Anthony Polito, a 67-year-old professor, entered the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, on Wednesday, December 6, and proceeded to kill three people with a pistol he legally bought eighteen months ago. Police were called at 11:45 a.m., and ten minutes later, Polito became engaged in a gunfight with the officers, resulting in the gunman’s death.

“If it hadn’t been for the heroic

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actions of one of those police officers who responded, there could have been countless additional lives taken,” noted Kevin McMahill, the police sheriff of Las Vegas.

According to McMahill, Polito had sent 22 letters to UNLV faculty before the attack. Some envelopes contained within them a white powder, which city police have determined to be unharmful.

ChanJan “Jerry” Chang, 64, Patricia Navarro Velez, 39, and Naoko Takemaru, 69, were killed by Polito.

Chang taught management information systems at the Lee Business School; Patricia Navarro-Velez was an assistant professor of accounting; Takemaru was an associate professor of Japanese studies at the college.

Four others were injured in the attack.

A self-described “semi-retired university professor,” Polito was, until 2017, a professor at East Carolina University (ECA), where he taught business. According to some of his students, his class was easy and his lectures were filled with tangents and his life stories; some felt they weren’t learning anything, but the consensus seemed to be that he was a nice guy.

He had an obsession with Las Vegas and an interest in conspiracy theories, some of which made antisemitic claims of Jewish world domination.

According to officials, Polito was in a poor financial situation; when investigators searched his home, they found an eviction notice on his door. He had tried to find jobs but was rejected “numerous times” from the places he sought employment at. Investigators suspect that the job rejections served as his motive for the attack.

“Today is a tragic day for UNLV,” said Keith Whitfield, the president of the school. “We’re all still in shock as we process the unfathomable event.”

“I’m grieving for the victims of today’s senseless shooting, and my heart breaks for the many students, faculty, staff, parents, loved ones, and community members who suffered through hours of painful uncertainty while officers ensured that our campus was safe and secure again.”

President Joe Biden expressed his condolences to the families of the victims of this attack and urged Republican lawmakers to help their Democrat colleagues ban assault weapons.

“Together, we must do more to prevent more families, and more communities like Austin, San Antonio, and Las Vegas, from being ripped apart by gun violence,” Biden said.

Hunter Biden Charged On Thursday, Hunter Biden’s past finally caught up with him. In the charges handed by special counsel David Weiss in Southern California, Biden is accused of engaging in a scheme to avoid paying at least $1.4 million in taxes on income and instead funding a lavish lifestyle of drugs and promiscuity.

Hunter is also facing three gun-related charges that were filed in September in December. The president’s son is accused of making false statements on a federal firearms form and obtaining a handgun and possessing it for 11 days in 2018 at a time when he was addicted to drugs.

Weiss argues that Biden continued to evade taxes into 2020, and in the indictment, he includes a chart of nearly $5 million in spending between 2016 and 2019. The 56-page indictment is detailed and complicated and documents millions in income and expenses, some of which Biden is accused of siphoning away from his companies.

According to the indictment, “Between 2016 and October 15, 2020, the Defendant spent this money on drugs…luxury hotels and rental properties, exotic cars, clothing, and other items of a personal nature, in short, everything but his taxes.”

If convicted of all charges in the tax case, Hunter Biden could face up to 17 years in prison. If convicted on all charges in the gun case, he could face up to 25 years in prison. Of course, it is unlikely that the president’s son will spend any time in jail.

In June, he had agreed to a plea deal that would have allowed him to avoid jailtime but a federal judge in Delaware refused to accept the deal, primarily because it was unclear if it would resolve the tax case.

29

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

where magic meets reality

DECEMBER 14, 2023

December 17-18 | causematch.com/imadi23

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We create an empowered network of support for families facing a complex pediatric health diagnosis.

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

30

imadi: Did You Even Know?

O

n November 25th, imadi celebrated the twoyear anniversary of the organization’s founding. In what seems like an incredibly short period of time this nonprofit startup has established deep roots in our community, with a mission is to create an empowered network of support for families facing a complex pediatric health diagnosis. In a pediatric healthcare landscape that is replete with many impactful institutions, what makes imadi unique to the 321 families they support?

CONCIERGE AGEMENT:

CASE

robust case management team of professionals, designed to provide families with a tailored and comprehensive support network. At imadi, case management goes beyond coordinating medical appointments; it addresses the financial, emotional, and logistical challenges families face. By working closely with families, case managers help them access vital resources, navigate insurance complexities, and develop vital coping mechanisms.

This personalized approach enables families to focus on the well-being of their child while feeling supported and empowered throughout their journey.

MAN-

At the heart of imadi’s mission is a

• To ensure a holistic approach to our services, imadi employees two case managers holding degrees in both SOCIAL WORK and CHILD LIFE. • We believe in allowing clinical best-practice to guide us, integrating TRAUMA-INFORMED services that empower our families and reintroducing a sense of stability into their home.

Did you even know?

Repair and/or replace: Hot Water Tanks • Sump Pumps • Faucets • Toilets • Garbage Disposals • Instant Hots • Dish Washers • Dryers • Washing Machines • Light Fixtures • Switches • Dimmers • Outside Lighting • Fans • Timers • and more...

Licensed • Bonded • Insured

410-929-2802 Saadya Cohen, Owner

THERAPEUTIC PROGRAMS: At imadi, we recognize that the well-being of a child extends beyond medical treatments. We offer a range of therapeutic and community-building programs aimed at enhancing the quality of life for both the child and their family. These programs encompass a variety of modalities, including innovative parent support groups, holiday parties, an extensive Big Brother & Big Sister program, summer camps, and respite retreats.

Did you even know?

• In the summer of 2023, imadi hosted a three-week overnight summer program for 25 children with life-threatening and lifelong medical conditions. Nearly 40% of these participants had never slept away from home before.

PATIENT ADVOCACY: Through personalized and strategic support, imadi’s advocates collaborate with healthcare professionals, navigate bureaucratic complexities,

and empower families to actively participate in decision-making processes regarding their child’s care. By fostering a culture of informed choice and providing a strong advocacy platform, imadi not only enhances the quality of care for pediatric patients but also instills a sense of empowerment, resilience, and confidence in families as they navigate the challenges of their healthcare journey.

VOLUNTEERISM A distinctive approach to volunteer engagement at imadi has quickly become the cornerstone of their organization’s mission. We recognize the diverse talents and skills within our student volunteer base and strategically match them with the unique needs of families. By fostering a collaborative environment, imadi ensures and empowers our volunteers to become integral members of the support network, contributing not only to the organization’s initiatives but also directly enhancing the well-being of families.

Did you even know?

• In 2023, imadi successfully engaged 191 high school student volunteers, representing incredibly diverse communities and religious affiliations.

A complex pediatric health diagnosis has a significant impact on the entire family, and so does imadi. If you know of someone that can benefit from our services, please contact us today at office@imadi.org.

31

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DECEMBER 14, 2023 32

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

DECEMBER 14, 2023

HIS WEEK! DECEMBER 17-18 THIS WEEK! DECEMBER 17-18 T Stand shoulder-to-shoulder with top leaders and entertainers – and the entire Am Yisrael.

Amudim's work has never been more vital. Your support today will allow us to heal from our collective trauma.

You don’t want to miss this!

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Itzik Dadya

Israel Advocacy 101

A Pillar of Strength and Love

Chabad Medley

Never Again?

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The Darcheinu/Our Path SEL Team Rabbi Avi Landa, LCPC Rabbi Solly Mizrahi Rabbi Yisroel Grossberg, Ms. Ed Mrs. Shira Berkowitz, LCSW

BALTIMORE IN NUMBERS: $869,840 ABUSE 83 • ADDICTION 50 AT RISK 38 • MENTAL HEALTH 126 NEW! AMUDIM STANDS UP TO FACE ISRAEL CRISIS: 200+ PROVIDERS OFFERING FREE CRISIS THERAPY • 100+ TONS OF HUMANITARIAN AID VIA CARGO ANTI-SEMITISM RELATED AID TO 300 + PEOPLE • 1000+ PEOPLE EMERGENCY EVACUATION FROM ISRAEL 573 + SOLDIERS EMERGENCY TRANSPORT TO ISRAEL • 175 + PATIENTS EMERGENCY MEDICAL TRAVEL

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THIS WEEK! DECEMBER 17-18 THIS WEEK! DECEMBER 17-1 ‫בס”ד‬

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Worldwide Livestream Event

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38

Torah Thought

Healing Trauma

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

O

ne of the most traumatized figures in the Torah was certainly Yosef.

Imagine how after having experienced near death by the age of seventeen, at the hands of your brothers; being sold to a caravan of Arab slave traders; enticed and eventually tortured incessantly by a temptress; cast for two years into a prison cell with lowly criminals, then rising to a position of prominence, marrying and fathering two wonderful children and living a very peaceful life — and then your abusers, after twenty-two years, suddenly appear before you.

How would you react?

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Yosef saw his brothers and he recognized them, but he acted like a stranger toward them and spoke with them harshly.

He asked them, “From where do you come?” And they said, “From the land of Canaan to buy food.”

Joseph recognized his brothers, but they did not recognize him.

Yosef recalled the dreams that he dreamed about them...

His initial reaction upon recognizing his brothers is to portray estrangement and react unkindly. After hearing them state they have come for provisions, it reiterates his distinguishing them, and adding the obvious — that they did not identify him. Why the repetition?

Lastly, it mentions that he remembered the dreams. Was that a later recollection? Didn’t the memory of the entire episode come rushing forth as soon as he realized it was them?

Trauma is painful. The condition known as post-traumatic stress disorder is well documented. It is very real and debilitating.

It almost appears as if Yosef’s reaction of distance and anger was instinctive and not necessarily a fully processed memory — as reaction to trauma often is.

Yosef had lived all these years trying to forget that scar that was seared into his psyche. Perhaps that natural reaction to simply suppress the memory was indicated in his naming of his first child, Menashe — ‘for G-d has, ‫ — נשני‬made me forget all my hardship...’.

But that can last only as long as the memory never returns to haunt.

Yosef quickly discovered that despite the distance of time, it was still very much a part of him and affected him despite his attempt at suppression.

There are many therapies used to treat trauma. Two popular approaches are exposure and cognitive restructuring. Exposure refers to reliving the memory from a safer place, learning to disengage from the reflexive emotions, preventing the memory from triggering a response. Restructuring pursues a better and healthier perspective on the events that transpired, hop-

ing to provide a deeper understanding of what, how and why it happened.

This often helps to lessen the non-cognitive reactions.

Perhaps it is this second therapy that Yosef attempted to implement when it reports how he ‘recognized them’ but ‘they could not recognize him’. It is not simply referring to his consciousness of their identity — and their lack of his at that moment. It is rather focusing on his beginning to fathom what had taken place so many years earlier. He realized that it all spiraled out of control because though he was able to appreciate their greatness despite their lapses of behavior and approached them on that fatal day so lovingly, yet they however never grasped the genuineness of their ‘kid’ brother — the ‘dreamer’, who in their minds was just seeking to diminish their esteem in their father’s eyes.

Maybe the ‘recalling his dreams’ was an exercise in ‘exposure’, permitting himself from the safety of his position to securely experience the memory without fear, and thus reduce subsequent reactivity to the memory.

The Baal HaTurim writes that Yosef was eager to reconcile with his brothers as soon as he identified them, but the angel Gavriel intervened and stopped him. He educated Yosef about the intricacies of the nature of relationships, teaching him that sometimes differences cannot simply be papered over by good intention alone, and it requires a deeper analysis in order to gain a greater understanding of one’s own emotions, and a better ap-

preciation of what is transpiring in the mind of those we interact with.

Just as he needed to restructure his thinking — in order to put the entire episode into a heathier perspective, so too he hoped — through his disguised intentional efforts — to challenge them to realize how irrationally they reacted initially, and how from distance one can begin to alter presumptions, permitting their original reaction of hatred towards Yosef, to transform into compassion for their well-intentioned younger brother.

Truly, they later expressed, as the events unfolded, a very different tune when they stated, “Indeed we are guilty concerning our brother inasmuch we saw his heartfelt anguish when he pleaded with us and we paid no heed.”

The students of the Vilna Gaon teach that the challenge in the days prior to the coming of Moshiach will be precisely the misunderstandings of others’ intentions, and the inability to appreciate one another properly.

Joseph recognized his brothers, but they did not recognize him.

May we strive, in the spirit of Yosef, to appreciate better the challenges others face that so often lead to misunderstanding and conflict, improving our relationships, heralding the day when we will be truly of one mind again!

You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com

39

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One-on-one learning in a group setting allows for building a connection with one’s mentor as well with others in the program.

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27

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Shacharis

Baltimore Weekday Minyanim Guide M-F S-F M-F M, Th M, TH M-F M, TH M, TH

M-F S, T, W, F T, W, F S T, W, F T, W, F S S T, W, F S-F M-F S, T, W, F S, M, TH T, W, F M-F T, W, F M-F

7:05 AM Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) 7:15 AM Kedushas Yisrael Kol Torah Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Ner Israel Rabbinical College

M, TH S S S, T, W, F S-F S-F

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7:20 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Beth Tfiloh Congregation Kol Torah Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shomrei Emunah Congregation

M, TH M-F M-F M, TH M, TH

7:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring Agudath Israel of Baltimore Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Chabad of Park Heights Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Darchei Tzedek Kedushas Yisrael Khal Bais Nosson Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shomrei Emunah Congregation

S S, T, W, F S S-F S-F S S S S S-F S S-F S S-F S-F S, T, W, F T, W, F

7:45 AM Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Talmudical Academy Darchei Tzedek Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Mesivta Kesser Torah Mesivta Shaarei Chaim 7:50 AM Derech Chaim Ner Tamid Ohel Moshe

M-F S-F M-F S-F S-F S-F S S M-F

8:00 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Beth Abraham Darchei Tzedek Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Kehillas Meor HaTorah Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ohel Yakov Ohr Yisroel Pikesville Jewish Congregation Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation The Shul at the Lubavitch Center Tiferes Yisroel Tzeirei Anash Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah

S-F S S S S S-F S S S S S-F S S S S-F

8:15 AM Kehilath B'nai Torah Kol Torah Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:20 AM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim 8:30 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ohel Moshe Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shomrei Emunah Congregation Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh 8:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 9:00 AM Aish Kodesh Agudath Israel of Baltimore Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Beth Tfiloh Congregation Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Shomrei Emunah Congregation Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim 9:15 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 9:30 AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah 9:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 10:00AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

S S S-F S-F S-F S-F S-F S S S-F S S-F S S-F S S S S-F S S-F S-F S-F S-F S-F S-F

Mincha

Maariv continued

Mincha Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Gedolah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/Tzemach Tzedek 12:30 PM Kol Torah 12:50 PM One South Street, 27th Floor, Baltimore, MD 21202 1:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F) 10055 Red Run Blvd Suite 295 Milk & Honey Bistro 1777 Reisterstown RD 1:25 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim 1:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F) 1:45 PM Ohel Moshe 2:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F) Big Al @ The Knish Shop Party Room Kol Torah Market Maven Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Reischer Minyan 15 Walker Ave 2nd Floor Snider Law Firm 600 Reistersown Rd 7th floor 2:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (Sunday) Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Tov Pizza Mincha Minyan Ner Israel Rabbinical College Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building) Shearith Israel Congregation 3:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F) Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 3:05 PM Kedushas Yisrael 3:15 PM Hat Box 3:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (Sunday) 4:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th) Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Mincha/Maariv

Before Shkiah

Aish Kodesh Agudath Israel of Baltimore Agudah of Greenspring Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Beth Abraham Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation Darchei Tzedek Kehillas Meor HaTorah Kehilath B’nai Torah Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Machzikei Torah (Sternhill’s) Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Ner Tamid Ohel Moshe Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Ohr Yisroel Pikesville Jewish Congregation Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation Shomrei Mishmeres Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel The Shul at the Lubavitch Center Tiferes Yisroel

Maariv

6:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 6:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 7:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah 7:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 8:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah 8:45 PM Darchei Tzedek Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina)

Ohr Yisroel 8:50 PM Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building) 8:55 PM Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh 9:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Arugas Habosem Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Shomrei Emunah Congregation Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim 9:20 PM Kol Torah 9:30 PM Agudah of Greenspring Agudath Israel of Baltimore Kedushas Yisrael Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 9:40 PM Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] 9:45 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim Kollel Erev Birchas Yitzchok (Luries) Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah 9:50 PM Aish Kodesh Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Ohel Moshe 10:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Darchei Tzedek Kehilath B'nai Torah Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation 10:05 PM Kol Torah 10:10 PM Ner Israel Rabbinical College 10:15 PM Derech Chaim Khal Bais Nosson 10:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah 11:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah Agudah of Greenspring - 6107 Greenspring Ave Agudath Israel of Baltimore - 6200 Park Heights Ave Ahavat Shalom - 3009 Northbrook Rd Aish Kodesh - 6207 Ivymount Rd Arugas HaBosem - 3509 Cwlarks Ln Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim - 3120 Clarks Ln Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore - 6823 Old Pimlico Rd Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh - 6618 Deancroft Rd Beit Yaakov - 3615 Seven Mile Ln Beth Abraham - 6208 Wallis Ave Beth Tfiloh Congregation - 3300 Old Court Rd Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation - 6602 Park Heights Ave Chabad of Park Heights - 3402 Clarks Ln Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh - 3800 Labyrinth Rd Darchei Tzedek - 3201 Seven Mile Ln Derech Chaim - 6229 Greenspring Ave (Weekday) Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue 6611 Greenspring Ave. Kedushas Yisrael - 6004 Park Heights Ave Kehilath B’nai Torah - 6301 Green Meadow Pkwy Kehillas Meor HaTorah - 6539 Pebble Brooke Rd Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek - 6811 Park Heights Ave Khal Bais Nosson - 2901 Taney Rd Kol Torah - 2929 Fallstaff Rd Machzikei Torah - 6216 Biltmore Ave Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah - 6500 Baythorne Rd Mesivta Kesser Torah - 8400 Park Heights Ave Mesivta Shaarei Chaim - 3702 Fords Ln Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah - 7000 Rockland Hills Dr Neuberger, Quinn, Gielen, Rubin & Gibber One South Street, 27th Floor Ner Israel Rabbinical College - 400 Mt Wilson Ln Ner Tamid - 6214 Pimlico Road Ohel Moshe - 2808 Smith Ave Ohel Yakov - 3200 Glen Ave Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] - 6813 Park Heights Ave Ohr Yisroel - 2429 Lightfoot Dr Pikesville Jewish Congregation - 7644 Carla Rd Shearith Israel Congregation - 5835 Park Heights Ave Shomrei Emunah Congregation - 6221 Greenspring Ave Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh - 2821 W Strathmore Ave Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim - 7504 Seven Mile Ln Talmudical Academy - 4445 Old Court Rd The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel - 5915 Park Heights Ave The Shul at the Lubavitch Center - 6701 Old Pimlico Rd Tiferes Yisroel - 6201 Park Heights Ave Tzeirei Anash - 6706 Cross County Blvd Wealcatch Insurance - 37 Walker Ave 2nd floor Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah - 6819 Williamson Ave

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7:00 AM Aish Kodesh (upstairs Minyan) Agudath Israel of Baltimore Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek Kol Torah Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] Shearith Israel Congregation Shomrei Emunah Congregation Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh The Shul at the Lubavitch Center Tiferes Yisroel

T, W, F S S S M-F

DECEMBER 14, 2023

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Mental Health Corner

By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

D

epression is a mental illness that affects millions of people worldwide and significantly interferes with daily functioning. It is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness and loss of interest, and can affect how one feels, thinks, and behaves. One can even start to feel that life is not worth living. Fortunately, we have many interventions that can greatly improve the lives of depressed individuals, ranging from psychotherapy to medication.

You may be the loved one of someone suffering from depression, and you might have broached the topic of seeking therapy, only to be rebuffed. This may have surprised you. Doesn’t everyone want to get better? Why would someone wallow in their depression for years on end when there are clear paths to recovery? In this article, we will attempt to offer some insight into this vexing question.

We first need to understand, what

is the role of depression? That question probably puzzles you. Isn’t depression an illness? Why should we be searching for the purpose of depression? The answer is that mental illness is very often a natural and healthy reaction that is incorrectly applied. A classic example of this phenomenon is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The underpinning of the disorder is avoidance of danger.

OCD is when the brain associates something not dangerous as being dangerous.

Avoidance of danger is a healthy reaction, but it is very unhealthy if there is no real danger.

Similarly, depression is often the misapplication of a healthy reaction.

That reaction is the avoidance of painful feelings and emotions. When someone feels unworthy, sad, or emotionally hurt, there are two choices. One choice is to sit with the emotions and process them, and the other one is to avoid them.

When one disengages from society and avoids the world, one can avoid facing

and addressing these troubling thoughts and feelings.

The healthy form of depression is when it lasts for a very short time.

Something happens in your life that is extremely hurtful or distressing, and you are just not ready to deal with it. You might disengage from the world for a day or two until you are ready to face life once again. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and it is a perfectly legitimate reaction. However, if that method is adopted as the coping strategy for the long term, then you are faced with the illness of depression and all of the suffering that comes along with it.

This may explain why some people who suffer from depression are not willing to seek help. The reason is because they are afraid. Depression served as their defense mechanism against whatever distressing thoughts and feelings that they are trying to avoid. Suggesting that they seek help is in essence suggesting that they leave themselves vulnerable to those elements that they are so afraid of. This is obviously self-defeating and

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counter-productive. But since this is mostly taking place in the subconscious, logical arguments are not so effective.

We are instructed by our Sages to not judge someone until you are in their place. It can be extremely difficult to understand why people suffer from depression and why it can be very hard for them to pull themselves out of it. One of the ways you can be helpful is by accepting them for who they are, not judging them, and giving them the space that they need to heal at their own pace. Pushing too hard can make it even more difficult for them. The more you feel compassion for them, the easier it will be for them to feel the inner strength to start the journey to recovery.

This is a service of Relief Resources.

Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp. org

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Tech

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Attention Please! As Told to Rebbetzin Sara Gross

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few years ago, my old flip phone broke for the last time. I walked into an AT&T store and asked the guy for some help. He promptly showed me the newest iPhone, and I decided to try it out and see if it worked for me.

After three months with the iPhone, I returned it to the store and purchased another flip phone. My daughter asked me why I didn’t have a cool phone like some other mothers. I told her, “I did have a smartphone for a few months.”

She looked at me curiously and asked, “So why don’t you still have it?”

I smiled at her and answered honestly, “I realized I was paying more attention to it than I was to you! So I gave it back.”

DID YOU KNOW? Many would

rather avoid the distractions, addictiveness, and constant temptations associated with carrying a smartphone in their pocket. However, for various reasons, they often find it challenging to transition to using a basic phone.

Some are drawn to the convenience of smartphone apps that offer features unavailable on computers, such as mobile bank deposits, Whatsapp, and Waze. Others find the texting experience on a basic phone with no keyboard too cumbersome, opting for the efficiency of touchscreen typing.

To facilitate a smoother transition, some have chosen to carry a basic phone while setting up a portable tablet or iPad with the necessary apps.

This approach allows them to enjoy the convenience of apps without the need to carry them wherever they go.

Connecting to wifi or a portable wifi

laptop version, though it requires an app version on a smart device to be linked to your phone number at the same time.

hotspot enables online access for the tablet. Additionally, there are kosher basic phones equipped with a wifi hotspot feature. Some tablets can even have cellular internet data, just like a smartphone.

Certain basic phone brands have touch screens or speech-to-text functionality to simplify texting. Some kosher basic phones even include Waze and/or email features. Notably, a reputable company offers a device exclusively for Waze or email use. Whatsapp can also be installed on some tablets, and there is even a

Another alternative is to confine smartphone use to the office, relying on a basic phone when out and about.

This approach may involve managing two phone numbers and bills, but call forwarding features or a Google Voice number can ease the process.

T-Mobile offers an app called “Digits” that enables the use of the same phone number on two devices.

While finding a solution may demand creativity and some degree of self-sacrifice, making the switch from a smartphone to a basic phone has been a worthwhile investment for many that has paid off in a richer, more present life.

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ATHE BOOST OF “INSPIRATION”

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A Snippet From Judaism’s Number One Podcast

Alex Clare:A SNIPPET Incredible Rise InONEFame FROM JUDAISM’S NUMBER PODCAST & Judaism

A

“To have a meaningful connection with Hashem

Germany immediately. He told his Rosh Yeshiva that something and to learn His Torah, and to understand unusual was happening which was a big opportunity for him that he what Hashem wants from us, what Hashem is, had never and probably would and what our job is in this world is something CEO OF MISHPACHA never see again and he needed to go to Germany for a few days. The we have to keep working at.” international success and earned him a Rosh Yeshiva knew Alex’s finanBRIT Award nomination. and At social that point Eli Paley is a businessman activist. and He is chairman of the Paley FamilyHashem to understand what booked for a concert that night cial situation was not good at the supports and promotes Centers and social initiatives in the is, in Foundation his life, hewhich was also exploring Ortho- Torah wants from us, what Hashem where the lead singer had contractCharedi community.

A member of the Jewish Funders Network, he is active in several time and he said if it meant Alex dox Judaism. and what our job is in this world is ed andamong could not sing.

Thelaryngitis topic of poverty Charedim and the poor economic situation in the Israeli philanthropic organizations. would getEli started the parnosa then he Alex is notable for a significant something we have to keep work- Alex community lay heavily on Eli’s heart.

As part of the solution, the Charedi Institute was offered £11,00 to do the of Public Affairs to engage with the governmentshould with hopes to resolve a way that will take it. It this feltin “incredibly We discussed the Mishpacha’s origin, the challenges he is faced with policy decision personal decision – he embraced ing at. show and just society like that he cleared allow the Charedi to retain its Torah values. making, and the overall goals he hopes to attain through the publication. validating”. He had given up a lot Orthodox Judaism, a commitment When Alex signed his first his debt with his band. to goto to and turn back that led him to make substantial While American Jews may have difficulty in relating theYeshiva issues overseas, Eli, ashis a born Eli was born in in the Mattesdorff neighborhood in Yerushalayim.

His great-grandfather and major record deal with Island ReAt the age of 26, he decided and bred Israeli is certainly in touch with the masses.

He recalls the issue he faced during on a music career. grandfather arrived in Eretz Yisroel in 1925 to establish the Slabodka Yeshivah in Chevron. lifestyle changes.

His journey he the waschief keeping Shabbos his music career was overthe and he The government regulation forbid a his kolel years when distributing magazine.

Later his grandfather became the assistant tocords, Rabbi Herzel, rabbi of Israel.

When this happened in 2012 into Orthodox Judaism involved and yingeman receiving Kollel benefitsthe if he had any other source of income. Therefore, he told them he does not work would gofrom to Yeshiva.

He wrote Alex gavea desperate himselfsolution a timeframe he was forced to register his side job under his wife’s name, used by substantial sacrifices and When Eli himself ispersonal an alumni of Chevron yeshiva. married his wife, a graduate of on heFriday nights and Saturday song Close”. He knew it towas many.“Too In his publication, he attempts broker aand better solution. returned to Yeshiva Michlala in Bayit Vegan, his dream was to continue learning.

However, a few months after eventually adjustments to align with his new- days. The record company was something special. It was about his his marriage, his brother mentioned a new monthly publication called Mishpacha was in 2015. explains that whenfound religious beliefs.

Another example difficulties Israeli chareidim face isAlex the draft. looking for someone to work as a distributor inannoyed Yerushalayim for aAlex day and a halfrefusing once every becoming that was moreof frum andthat a friend Mishpacha discussed population statistics -one out of four children ever there is a bigis change in life, 5 Alex to 6 weeks. like that, Eli took the job, earning twice as much as he would grewWith upflex in hours southeast Lonall the promo opportunities he was who wanted a more romantic relaCharedi– and how the army and Charedi societyeither can possibly reach a solution. be for an entire month in a kolel. Financially independent, he continued to learn diligently. emotionally or financially don. There were two shuls in the being offered on Friday nights or tionship which he did not want to orthat in have terms of the family structure area, one Rabbi reform andPaley, onebought united The paper is faced daily with Hashkafa decisions far-reaching effects on our His father, Yehuda the Mishpacha Magazine To helpthat his he Saturdays.

Hebusiness. explained pursue.

However, he had no idea society. The issue of printing pictures of womenpart in theof magazine has been debated back that change is accepting father, Eli gotbut involved in the editorial angle of the magazine figuring out how it could make synagogue Jewish life for him could worktoon Shabbos.

In the how wellinthe song wasWhen doing.

Then and forth many forums.

Hilary Clinton was running for President, Mishpacha a unique contribution to the field of journalism.

He leftnot learning pursue his new mission that things will never be the same was very limited. As a teenager, spring shocked many readers by publishing a blurry photo of Donald Trump and Hilary on the to inspire and influence the Chareidi community.

It is that idealismAlex that still drives him ina of 2011, was offered everything “went crazy”.

Microsoft theyEli confides. were before. Whatever cover. “We just wanted to see how people wouldas react,” hehisoccasionally wentlater. to shul. He tour with Adele. However, Pesach picked work so many years up his song “Too Close” and would have happened or whatevattended a good Catholic school in was during the tour which meant took The office receive complaints, but the Gedolim the magazine consults advised himdid into the some top 10 charts all While Mishpacha is well-received around the world, the goal of Mishpacha is to serve, er does happen you have to know theelevate neighborhood which taught him particularly them to include her since wasmeant a real possibility Hilary would indeed become and be the voice of the Chareidim, in Eretz Yisroel.

The real customers that 5 days out of two weeks Alex over the world.

Thisthere also president.

However, in Israel, an anti-Mishacha publication blasted Mishpacha , claiming that things have changed and that are not the advertisers but the audience.

Mishpacha seeks to portray an independent voice “to avoid dogma” and never to take would not be able to work. He re- that because the record company they were breaking the rules of modesty and Torah by publishing a picture of Hilary Clinton. which is unaffiliated with any political party. In the early years, in the chareidi world of is part of the journey. something on just for the sake of it. fused to go thehave tour.

After dropped him, and he was now one pollicization, this was perceived as a weakness.

However, theon years passed, andYom this What advice would Alex have Listening to soulone and electronic This became a real issue because it was very hard for Eli to justify in his freedom has become of the most salient factors of its Kippur ofsuccess.

2011, he was offered to of thewhy top-selling artists inmodest the world mind they could not print pictures of women, particularly for the Jewish music world? The music from an early age had a pro- play live on the BBC on the next he could get a new record deal that considering how hard it seems to be to explain to ba’alei teshuvah why women are Mishpacha was the first Charedi publication to give the same respect to the Sephardi and biggest tip he can give is to write found effect on Alex. Later he lis- Thursday “ignored.”

In order often one of their first exposures to Yiddishkeit, Ashkenazi societies, attempting to create a sense of unity. night Over time, this adherence to which was sukkos. was worth threeto make timesMishpacha, more than your lyrics and not start off doing more palatable, Eli is comfortable with his decision. tened to and punk music, hip-hop, and equality ahavas Yisrael became the secretHe to the business’ success. was told that if he did not do the original one. self-censorship, let the creative heavy metal. Where he grew up the gig he would be fired. It was He’s on a big mission: to expose our brothers to true Torah values, and he bears the Alex had made two simonim Mishpacha’s quest in elevating frum society is done through sincere, honest writing. process and write, inMishpacha the dullest part of London there responsibility seriously.

He often employs a different way happen, of thinking,create a creative model, a does not engage in pretending that society isHe perfect. recognizing rough. did While not know howthehe for himself which he later learnt stretch and a twist, that can support our lifestyle while at the sameare timenot show that we care and then if you comfortable great achievements the frum world, Mishpacha will tackle even was a whole genreand ofaccomplishments punk rock. in would pay rent or £11,000 to his that hetheshould not have done.andHe about Israeli economy, security, its welfare “Insteadyou of just complaining unpleasant issues, albeit in an extremely sensitive way. withsystem. something can change it.

As Alex became famous he band. His Rebi explained to him would about why we are not understood,” Eli explained during the interview, “we must ask what think about leaving Yeshiva Butthat doour notkids from thetoo outset betoworcan do in this field. While we have to make sure are not exposed the also became more observant. By that we are all here because of ifwehe’d go to the top 10 in Europe, big world, the (outside) world exists, and we have to face reality and come practical ried about what you up arewith thinking, the time he signed his first record Avram Avinu’s willingness to give which seemed ridiculous, and the solutions. “ deal, he was shomer Shabbos. The up the most important thing in his other was that if the producer Rick listen to your thoughts and feelingstowhich areproblems valid and real, and Rather than hiding his head in the sand, he is ready take on the in our process was very gradual. He al- life for Hashem and Alex would Rubin contacted Both simoneighbourhoods andhim. cities, working with the authorities instead of against them.

Slowly, create from that place.

Then anaways had Emunah and davened to see siyata d’shmaya. The next nim he believes, we will be able to occurred within a build few better days.trust. lyze and understand if you are not Hashem and felt the connection. day he got a call from a promoter His single went to the top 10 in Eli is proud that Mishpacha does not try to be sensationalist.

Rather he makes an effort comfortable you can change it.

Be To have a meaningful connection in Germany who told him he was Germany. He was asked to go to to keep his editorial policies responsible and sensitive.

“If you’re going toself-censor. do it le’shaim authentic and don’t with Hashem and learn His Torah, shamayim” Eli ended, “you’ll have disyata d’shmaya to do it right.” lex Clare is world, a British singer In our interconnected the power of the media cannot be and songwriter known for hismedia, radio, newspapers, and overestimated.

Internet websites, social magazines increasingly controlofthegenres fate of politicians and governments, soulful voice and a fusion world finances and morality. In the chareidi world, the messages conveyed including soul, rock, and electronic by religious media can shape and strengthen emuna, enrich charitable music. to fame in 2011 when policies. Therefore, it was a efforts,He androse ferment new shul and yeshiva hegreat became an overnight sensation privilege to interview the highlywith influential Rabbi Eli Paley, owner of Media Group and publisher of the Mishpacha Hebrew and hisMishpacha song “Too Close” which reached English weekly magazines.

ELI PALEY

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50

THE “DO” AND THE “HOW”

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

DECEMBER 14, 2023

By Rabbi Moshe Dear Executive Director, Baltimore Bikur Cholim

I

n sports, the very first thing the athletes are expected to do for their team is to show up.

Coaches will instill into their players that they must be fully present and allin in order to contribute to their teams success. This concept is, of course, true in every endeavor- from the yeshiva student in the beis medresh to the professional in his firm. The job will simply not get done nor will any personal contributions be made to the cause unless there is a strong-willed determination to show up and be ready to perform.

But in order to excel and be successful, merely showing up is not nearly enough. One then has to develop the skills and “know-how” in order to perform at maximum capacity. The

yeshiva bochur will need to learn how to work through a Svarah and develop analytical skills. The athlete must learn the art of hitting, throwing, and running to gain the competitive edge, and the businessman will need to learn and aquire the tricks of his trade and then to deftly apply them to his repertoire of skills.

At some point, we all have had the opportunities to perform the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim. Like other areas of life, Bikur Cholim, as well, has the dual aspects of “The Do” and “The How”. First, there is a commitment to step up and perform. Then, there is the development of how to best perform the mitzvah in the most enhanced fashion.

Since the aroma from our latkas are likely still lingering, we may yet draw a lesson from Chanukah. For example, the simple dreidel will remain an inactive symbol of the holiday unless it is active and spinning. Unless the effort is made to put the dreidel into motion it can not be used to play the game. More significantly, we note the famous argument between Beis Hillel who says we light in the fashion of “Mosif V’Holech”, going on by adding a candle each night, as opposed to Beis Shammai who instructs “Pocheis V’Holech”, going on by reducing a candle each night. But what is significant is that both opinions say we must be “Holech”, by going, doing, and progressing.

But as we have demonstrated, just

being there is not enough. We have to consider “The How”. Once we are in the presence of the Choleh we are visiting, one needs to develop a certain intuitiveness into what this particular choleh needs from us. We must develop the empathy and listening skills in order to read between the lines of what the choleh is saying to us, and reflect the underlying feelings and emotions.

We need to be observant and note what the Choleh may need from us but may not be experessing. We also need to fine-tune what we say, how we say, and also what we should NOT say to the individual patient.

If you would like to volunteer for Bikur Cholim, please apply on our website, baltimorebikurcholim.org.

We are looking for great volunteers!

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New Building Main Entrance Adjacent to the Spiritual Care offices - Room 3281

DECEMBER 14, 2023

LOCATION CHANGE!

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52

Pick A Card, Any Card

By Malkie SchulMan

“P

ick a card, any card...” is arguably one of the most famous magician starting lines. But magic is much more than guessing the number in a deck of cards (although that still is quite a popular trick!).

“The tricks that blow audiences away the most,” relates Shlomo Levinger, master magician and illusionist based in Far Rockaway, N.Y., “is when it seems like I’m reading their minds.” Telling folks he’s never met before their names, social security numbers, and/ or license numbers are some of many mentalist acts Shlomo will perform with his audiences. “One that audiences really love,” he shares, “is where I tell a volunteer to think of anything in the world, and then I tell him exactly what he’s thinking.”

Shlomo’s interest in performing “magic” began in the ninth grade. “But I was into performing even before that,” he admits. “I did juggling acts, handstands, anything that connected me with people through performing for them to make them laugh.”

He also acknowledges that starting when you’re a little older like he did is a good thing. “Starting too young can lead to burnout, because the tricks, when done right, are often too hard for a little kid to manage. By the age of 14, you’re usually old enough to un-

derstand how the magic works.”

Shlomo recalls the first time he watched a video of someone performing magic. “It was one of the coolest things I ever saw. I knew then that I wanted to be the one doing the performing.”

That’s when Shlomo went to work googling and discovered the whole wide world of magic and how it works.

“All these awesome swallowing-a-sword or vanishing objects feats are tricks,” he explains. “It’s about learning how to do them.” Once Shlomo would master a move, he’d try it on his guinea pig, aka, his mom. “My mom has seen more of my tricks than anybody,” says Shlomo with a grin. “So, I guess you could say, she’s my biggest fan. Or not. LOL.”

It’s All An Illusion The way magic performances are staged has changed over the years, maintains Shlomo. Today, magicians perform many different genres of magic: closeup magic (also known as strolling or walk around magic), comedy stage magic, illusions, and mentalism. But it wasn’t always like that. Primarily, it used to be that the magician would perform his magic from a stage in front of a seated audience. Today, one of the more popular types of magic performance is close-up magic.

“Well-known illusionist David Blaine really changed magic performance,” shares Shlomo. “He’s the first one to bring magic to the street, to do closeup magic, and get everybody’s stunned reactions up close.”

Close-up magic, in contrast to stage magic, is magic that’s performed in a more intimate setting.

so real that the officer was convinced I could actually help him solve crimes.”

A Method to His Magic Getting specific information from a volunteer is really the secret behind the magic – or at least a secret that Shlomo is willing to share. In the following story, Shlomo reminisces about the time he was filming a short YouTube clip in Manhattan when he saw a kid with his name stitched onto the back of his knapsack.

“I went over to him and told him I was a mentalist.

I asked him if he’d be impressed if I could tell him what his name was. He said, ‘Sure.’ When I told him his name, he freaked out. He went nuts all the while not realizing that his name was right there on the back of his knapsack. That video got half a million views.”

Of course, the downside was that when people saw the video and met Shlomo, they’d come over and ask him to tell him their names. “I had to come up with a whole new method of figuring it out,” says Shlomo.

So what is Shlomo’s trick to get into people’s minds? He says that it’s about picking up information that everybody else overlooks. Of course, it’s usually not as simple as finding the name on a backpack, but it is usually about asking the right questions that elicit information the individual doesn’t realize they’re giving. A good illusionist also has to be a good actor, knowing when to ham things up or when to play them down. And, of course, the more experience you have, the better you get at it and the more you can figure out the right questions to ask.

Shlomo loves meeting all different types of people in all different types of settings. He’s also an outgoing, gregarious guy who’s not opposed to shaking things up

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event). If he’s booked that evening, Shlomo will go to the venue an hour before to set up and prepare.

“If I’m doing a walk-around,” Shlomo shares, “the show can take up to three hours, while a stage show will take about an hour.” Sometimes, at corporate events, he’ll do both. During cocktails, Shlomo will perform the close-up magic acts, and later on, he’ll do the show.

As to has anyone ever called his bluff, it comes down to the atmosphere he tries to establish, Shlomo maintains.

“I try to make it a fun, light vibe – it’s not about going one up and tricking people, in that way, anyway,” he asserts.

On the rare occasion Shlomo gets hecklers, he says there are techniques to make the situation less disruptive. There are always ways to move on with the show.

DECEMBER 14, 2023

“The performance seemed

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The audience is usually very close to the magician, sometimes even one-on-one. This form of magic often uses everyday items as props, like cards, coins, and seemingly “impromptu” effects. The magician may be sitting at a table or standing in one place in front of a small group of people, or he may be doing a walk around, which involves the magician strolling around the crowd, going from table to table, performing magic right under their noses. Shlomo admits that he likes the close-up style best.

At a bar mitzvah, a fundraiser, or a corporate event, for example, Shlomo will mingle with the crowd showing them various magic feats. One amazing trick he likes to use involves marking an X on his hand with a Sharpie. In front of the spectators, he “vanishes” the X on his hand and has it magically appear on a guest’s hand.

Another fun close-up trick is the card-in-pocket trick. That’s where he has a spectator pick a card, sign the card, and put the card back in the deck. Then Shlomo snaps his fingers and pulls their signed card out of his pocket! After that, he’ll say, “I’m going to do this again.” And he places the card back in the deck. After the spectator agrees it’s back in the deck, Shlomo will once again pull the card out of his pocket! In the last part, he’ll say, “Let’s do it one more time, but this time you push the card into the deck.” Again, Shlomo will snap his fingers and tell the volunteer to pull the card out of his pocket which turns out is not the signed card. Then Shlomo will reach into his pocket and keep pulling out cards until he shows that somehow the entire deck ended up in there and the one card that the spectator signed is in his hand (where the deck previously was)! Shlomo reveals that he has tons of these types of fun sleight-of-hand card tricks up his sleeve.

The key word here is fun. Having fun while making sure your audience is having fun, that’s Shlomo’s goal.

In that way, he says, renowned American magician and

comedian Justin Wilman, star and creator of the hit Netflix series Magic For Humans, is his inspiration. “Justin makes magic fun. His goal is to give everybody a good time. A lot of magicians like to create spooky atmospheres. Justin’s style is more on the light side. I try to model my style after his. Of course, I want to creep out my audience but in a fun way.”

What does a typical workday look like for a magician? Actually, the first half of Shlomo’s day is not even typical for a magician. He learns every morning in Yeshiva of Far Rockaway. “My morning seder is very important to me,” says Shlomo. Only after that does Shlomo begin his work, usually spending the afternoons doing “back end” stuff – invoicing, booking events, purchasing props, etc. since most shows are at night (unless it’s chol hamoed or a corporate lunch

Although, there was one situation, way in the beginning of his career at one of his first shows, that was not cool, he recalls. “I did a trick where I was supposed to take a cup of water and make the water disappear so that when I turned it over and poured it over the volunteer’s head, nothing would come out. Unfortunately, I messed up, and the kid got soaking wet.

“I did not do that trick again for a long time. Some tricks you can recover from and move on – this trick was not one of them.”

Usually, though, Shlomo’s magic acts are super cool.

“I was doing a show somewhere, and there happened to be a high-ranking police officer in the audience. The trick I did was to take a volunteer’s cell phone, ‘read his mind,’ and tell him what the password was to unlock his phone. After the show, the cop came backstage and said, ‘We need you on our team. We have criminals’ phones, and we can’t break into them to get important information that we need.’ That was cool. The performance seemed so real that the officer was convinced I could actually help him solve crimes.”

Needless to say, Shlomo had to gently explain to the officer that, for various reasons, his act couldn’t be duplicated if the person wasn’t there to unknowingly provide certain information.

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

54 a bit. Even if it’s not showtime, he’ll walk into an ice cream shop and say something like, “If I can guess your phone number, will you give me a free ice cream?” The store owners get a kick out of it, and Shlomo gets his free ice cream!

Shlomo laughs as he recalls the time he walked into a Starbucks for an iced coffee latte. “The guy behind the counter told me the coffee was $6. I said to him, ‘Shoots, I only have a five-dollar bill.

Wait one sec,’ then I snapped my fingers and the fiver became a five hundred dollar bill. The guy was blown away. ‘You sure it’s real?’ he asked me. ‘Yup,’ I replied and showed him that it was. That was lots of fun!”

Another big hit with Shlomo’s audiences both on stage and in walk-arounds is where Shlomo asks a spectator to hand him a dollar bill. With a snap of his finger, voila, Shlomo will make the bill vanish and with a second snap of his fingers, he makes the dollar bill appear in – an apple!

Though Shlomo is young (26), he’s already performed for some big corporations like Champion, Hanes, Sony, and other large companies. But for Shlomo, a huge sports fan, the more exciting news is that he’s broken into the baseball world.

Shlomo tells how it came about.

“I did magic for a well-known influencer on social media who has a big following of athletes. One of his followers, a top baseball player by the name of Mike Trout of the Los Angeles Angels, began to follow me because he saw me on the influencer’s page. He obviously liked what he saw, because he reached out to me to bring me to Los Angeles to perform live in front of him and a bunch of other baseball players. We had a great time, and from there, it snowballed.”

So far, Shlomo has performed for other baseball greats like Alex Bregman (Houston Astros), Pete Alonso (N.Y. Mets), and Cory Seager (Texas Rangers). This summer, he’ll be performing for full teams. Shlomo admits it’s a dream come true for him. “I never imagined these two worlds colliding.”

But what’s it like as an obviously Orthodox Jew doing his magic stuff with baseball players?

“It’s an interesting experience,” shares Shlomo. In many ways, Shlomo believes the fact that he’s frum makes his shows even better. “They see a kid with a yarmulke,” he says, “something they’ve probably never encountered up close, and they’re not sure what to expect.”

When he does an amazing trick, they’re blown away.

Shlomo also maintains that he does his best at all times to make a kiddush Hashem. “I work hard to give them a good time, so they associate positivity with Orthodox Judaism.”

In fact, Shlomo relates, at a recent celebrity golf event, a professional golfer came up to him to say how bad he felt about the horrific situation going on in Israel. It felt gratifying, Shlomos says, that this guy felt comfortable enough to come up to him and be empathetic about a situation that would clearly be disturbing to anybody identifying as a Jew. “I think it’s because I try to bring in fun energy to my gigs. I get

people in the zone where they feel comfortable and feel like they can be normal with me.”

He adds, “The main thing about my work is that I love making people happy, especially through creating amazing illusions. The audience’s reactions really get me pumped. When the audience is enjoying themselves, so am I.” Shlomo has also done events for Chai Lifeline and other organizations for children who are not well. “It makes me so happy when a parent calls and tells me, ‘You don’t understand what you did for my Moshe; you made his day.’ That’s the best feeling I can possibly have.”

“I said to him, ‘Shoots, I only have a five-dollar bill. Wait one sec,’ then I snapped my fingers, and the fiver became a five hundred dollar bill.”

Still, Shlomo has his quirky side. He shares another outside business hours story.

“I used to do this trick where I’d make a straw float in mid-air. I was in a restaurant once as a regular eating customer, and I decided to levitate my straw a little bit off the table just to see people’s reactions. I wasn’t even sure anybody would notice. Then I saw someone at the table to my right do a double take. He looked once and then quickly looked again, and I could tell he was thinking, ‘Did I just see what I thought I saw?’”

The best part was Shlomo just left it at that. He didn’t go over to the guy to explain that he was a magician. For all Shlomo knows, this guy is going around telling people about the guy in the restaurant who could levitate straws. Or maybe went to get his eyes checked out. It’s anyone’s guess.

One thing that is important to Shlomo is his professionalism and dedication to his craft and to his clientele.

“It’s easy to get stuck on autopilot,” he shares, “to just stick with what’s working.” But that’s not the way Shlomo does business. He consistently makes an effort to come up with new material to work into his shows, always bearing in mind the important principle – the customer always comes first.

While it’s true that the customer always comes first, Shlomo won’t take on every client if he doesn’t feel it’s appropriate. “I was once offered what seemed like a great, lucrative opportunity,” he shares, “but the venue was not appropriate. It was a hard decision, but I turned it down. Right after that, another much better opportunity came along through the same source. I saw it directly as a message from Hashem – ‘You do the right thing, Shlomo, and I’ll make it worth your while.’ And that’s how I try to live my life.”

Perhaps the biggest reveal from our fascinating interview as it draws to a close is that whether you’re a magician, an illusionist, or a mentalist (and basically, they’re all the same thing depending on how cool you want to sound, says Shlomo), the “magic” or “mind reading” they perform are simply well-learned tricks. I say “simply” not because they’re simple tricks or tricks that are simple to learn but because you don’t have to be a psychic to perform them. It’s not voodoo, no matter how mind-altering these feats look.

On the flip side of the coin, however, the world of magic is not just about learning how to do sleight of hand or pulling rabbits out of hats (Shlomo has never done that one); it’s a realm where creativity, skill, and the joy of enchanting audiences merge. Magicians like Shlomo, with their dedication to their craft and their desire to connect with and amaze their audiences, remind us that magic is more than just tricks—it’s an art form that continues to evolve and inspire. Whether through a classic card trick or a mind-bending illusion, the true magic lies in the moments of wonder and joy they create, keeping the age-old tradition of magical performances alive and thrilling.

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3D-Printed Phone Chargers for Military Vehicles in Israel

By Perly Dahan

S

phone charging adapters showcases the power of community-driven initiatives.

Recognizing the significance of keeping soldiers connected and equipped with charged devices, volunteers from various backgrounds came together to contribute their time and resources. Shuls, as community hubs, played a vital role in mobilizing volunteers and fostering a sense of collective responsibility. This collaboration not only streamlined the production process but also fostered a strong sense of solidarity among community members.

The 3D-printed phone charging adapters created by engineers in Tel Aviv showcase the transformative potential of technology. The story transcends mere functionality; it represents the intersection of creativity, technological innovation, and a problem-solving mindset. In the context of military operations, these adapters exemplify how technology can enhance the lives and effectiveness of those serving in the armed forces. A seemingly simple device, enabled by the

Mrs. Barbara Deutsch is currently the associate principal at HANC 609 and a longtime reflective educator, parent, grandparent, and new great-grandparent. Even after all these years, she still loves what she does and looks forward to working with kids every single day.

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and efficiency of soldiers on their missions. A charged phone provides instant access to vital resources such as maps, mission updates, and other critical information. It serves as a multifunctional tool, acting as a GPS, a library, and a means of entertainment during moments of downtime, allowing soldiers to unwind and de-stress.

Recognizing the need for a collaborative effort to produce these adapters at scale, volunteers, including members of shuls, stepped in to support the initiative. The involvement of volunteers adds a layer of community support to the project, reflecting a collective commitment to aiding those serving on the front lines.

The engagement of local communities, including shuls, not only underscores the importance of the project but also demonstrates how grassroots efforts can contribute to addressing real-world challenges faced by soldiers.

In addition to providing a practical solution, the involvement of volunteers in the production of these 3D-printed

power of 3D printing, can make a substantial difference in the daily lives of soldiers and their ability to carry out their duties with efficiency and connectivity.

In the broader scope of technological advancements, 3D printing has evolved into a tool for creating custom, innovative solutions. The 3D-printed phone charging adapters for military vehicles are a testament to the versatility and adaptability of this technology. The ability to create tailored solutions for specific challenges exemplifies the potential of 3D printing to address real-world issues in diverse fields. As technology continues to advance, its application in solving practical problems, such as those faced by soldiers in the field, becomes increasingly evident.

The development and deployment of 3D-printed phone charging adapters for military vehicles in Israel exemplify the power of innovation in addressing the unique challenges faced by soldiers.

From the initial need to document crucial information to the practical challenges of keeping smartphones charged in remote areas, these adapters provide a holistic solution. The involvement of volunteers, including members of shuls, highlights the community-driven support behind this initiative. In a broader context, this story illustrates how technology, particularly 3D printing, can be harnessed to create tailored solutions that significantly impact the lives and effectiveness of those serving on the front lines.

DECEMBER 14, 2023

martphones have become indispensable tools for soldiers, serving not only as communication devices but also as documentation tools. Israeli soldiers rely on their phones to document crucial information, capture images, and record videos during missions. However, the challenges arise when these soldiers find themselves in the field, far from conventional power sources. In response to this predicament, a group of innovative engineers in Tel Aviv has developed a unique solution: 3D-printed phone charging adapters designed specifically for military vehicles.

In the unpredictable and challenging environments where Israeli soldiers often find themselves, maintaining communication and ensuring that smartphones remain charged can be a logistical challenge. The 3D-printed phone charging adapters present a practical and ingenious response to this challenge. These adapters are custom designed to seamlessly attach to military vehicles such as tanks or armored carriers, offering a tailored fit for specific vehicle models and phone types.

The connection is established with the vehicle’s power source, typically a robust battery. Consequently, as long as the military vehicle is in operation, the adapter functions as a mobile charging station, ensuring that soldiers can keep their phones charged even in remote areas.

The impact of these 3D-printed adapters on the lives of soldiers deployed on missions is profound. In the field, far from conventional power outlets, soldiers often experience challenges with keeping their smartphones charged.

The 3D-printed phone charging adapters change this dynamic by providing soldiers with a reliable solution to keep their devices powered. This newfound connectivity is not merely a matter of convenience; it is crucial for the safety

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Tech Talk

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

1. *

TJH

Centerfold

Riddle Me This

You Gotta be Kidding!

In the supermarket, the aisles are numbered from one to six from the entrance.

Dishwashing liquid is next to bottles, and it is not the first item you see when you come into the store. You will see the meat aisle before the bread aisle. Tins are two aisles before bottles, and meat is four aisles after fruit.

Yankel wins the $ 10 million lottery.

HIis wife asks him,

A. What is the last aisle (aisle six)?

“Yankel, what

B. In which aisle can bottles be found?

are you going to do about

C. What is in the first aisle?

all the letters asking for tzedakah?”

D. In which aisle can tins be found?

Yankel replies, “What’s the problem? I’ll keep sending them; maybe someone will send me some money.”

D. Two C. Fruit B. Four A. Bread The aisle order is: 1. Fruit, 2. Tins, 3. Dishwashing liquid, 4. Bottles, 5. Meat, 6. Bread Answers:

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*

*

*

“I just won 10 million dollars from a lottery ticket. I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Those were the proudest 25 cents I ever donated.”

57

Evelyn Adams won a total of $5.4 million in TWO

Last week, Wayne Murray won a $10 million in a lotto that he purchased at a Brooklyn gas sta-

lotteries, one in 1985 and then the next year…

She ended up gambling it all away in Atlantic City

tion…sixteen months after he won his first $10 million from a lotto game that he purchased from the

In 1998, Gerald Muswagon won

same gas station.

the $10 million in Canada. Within a few years, he was working as a farm day laborer. He died in pover-

Also Lucky…

ty.

Michael Carroll was 19 when

Ginther

he won $15 million in the

won $5.4 mil-

England jackpot in 2002. Within a

lion in the Texas

few years, he was broke and re-

lotto in 1993. In

turned to his job as a garbageman.

2005, she won $2 million in a lotto. In 2008, she won $3 million.

In 2010, she won $10

million. Think this may happen to you? Well, the odds of the same person winning 4 different lottos is 1 in 18 septillion (not a billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion or sextillion). But, keep dreaming! You know what they say: a dollar and a dream!

Not So Lucky…

Billy Bob Harrell Jr. hit the $31 million Texas jackpot in 1997. He quit his job at Home Depot and moved to Hawaii. He purchased seven homes and multiple cars. Within a few years, he was broke.

Shortly before his death by his own hand, he told a financial adviser that “winning the lottery is the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

Andrew “Jack” Whittaker Jr. won $315 million Powerball jackpot in 2002. He flew off in a pri-

Pennsylvania lottery in 1988, but he was $1 mil-

vate jet with his family to appear on New York City

lion in debt within a year. “I wish it never happened,”

morning television shows after hitting the jackpot.

Post said. “It was totally a nightmare.”

Within a few years, his wife left him, he became an alcoholic and chronic gambler, and he was robbed,

Martyn Tott, 33, won a $5 million lottery in En-

assaulted, and arrested for drunk driving. He died

gland in 1998…but lost the winning ticket. After

broke in 2020. Shortly before he died, he wept while telling a reporter, “I wish I’d torn that ticket up.”

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William “Bud” Post won $16.2 million in the

that, he got divorced, quit his job, and joined a cult.

DECEMBER 14, 2023

Joan

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Lucky…

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

X Post by Billionaire hedge fund manager Bill Ackman in response to the presidents of Harvard, MIT and Penn refusing to say that calling for the killing of Jews is harassment:

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I learned from someone with first person knowledge of the @Harvard president search that the committee would not consider a candidate who did not meet the DEI [diversity, equity and inclusion] office’s criteria.

The same was likely true for other elite universities doing searches at the same time, creating an even more limited universe of DEIeligible presidential candidates.

Shrinking the pool of candidates based on required race, gender…criteria is not the right approach to identifying the best leaders for our most prestigious universities.

It is not by chance that this [inauguration] takes place in the holiday of Hanukkah, the festival of light, and that the same celebrates the true essence of freedom. The war of the Maccabees is the symbol of the victory of the weak over the powerful, of the few over the many, of the light over darkness and overall of the truth over untruth.

- Argentina’s new president Javier Milei, who has a fascination with Judaism, at his inauguration

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I remember when we did the piece [on the ranking of free speech at Ivy League institutions]. At the absolute bottom of the list...was Harvard, and right next to them was Penn. So these are two of the colleges who are now on Team Hamas.

- Bill Maher

For a long time, I said that antisemitism, particularly on the American left, was not as bad as people claimed. I’d like to just state that I was totally wrong. I still don’t understand it, really, or know what to do about it. But it is so [messed up].

- Tweet by OpenAI founder and CEO Sam Altman

And it is also not good for those awarded the office of president who find themselves in a role that they would likely not have obtained were it not for a fat finger on the scale.

I have been called brave for my tweets over the last few weeks. The same could be said for those called out Joseph McCarthy during the Red Scare.

I don’t think it will be long before we look back on the last few years of free speech suppression and the repeated career-ending accusations of racist for those who questioned the DEI movement.

We are all shortly going to realize that the DEI era is the McCarthy era Part II. History rhymes, but it does not repeat.

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Letter left by Sgt. Major (res.) Ben Zussman, Hy”D, who was killed in Gaza this week

I’m writing you this message on the way to the base. If you’re reading this, something must have happened to me. As you know me, there’s probably no one happier than me right now. It wasn’t just that I was on the verge of fulfilling my dream. I’m happy and grateful for the privilege I’ll have to defend Our beautiful country and the people of Israel.

If G-d forbid you sit Shiva, make it a week of friends, family and fun. Let there be food, meat of course, beers, soft drinks, nuts and seeds, tea and, of course, Mommy’s cookies. Make jokes, hear stories, meet all my other friends you haven’t met yet. Actually! I am Jealous of you. I would like to sit there and see them all.

Another very, very important point. If G-d forbid, I fall into captivity, alive or dead. I will not allow even one soldier or citizen to be harmed because of some deal for my release. I forbid you to conduct a campaign or struggle or anything like that. I am not willing for terrorists to be released for me in no way, shape or transaction. Please don’t violate my request.

- White House NSC Advisor John Kirby shredding an Arab journalist who equated Israel with Hamas

We don’t want to see any more civilians harmed on this, but they have a right and responsibility to defend themselves against that very genocidal threat and it is not the Israeli Defense Forces’ strategy to kill innocent people. It’s happening. I admit that. Each one’s a tragedy, but it’s not like the Israelis are sitting around every morning and saying, “Hey, how many more civilians can we kill today? Let’s go bomb a school or a hospital or a residential building and just cause civilian casualties.

- Ibid.

They’re not doing that. They’re trying to go after Hamas, and it’s a very difficult when Hamas — oh, by the way, in addition to deliberately slaughtering people — is deliberately hiding themselves in residential buildings, in hospitals, in tunnels, making it — putting the innocent people of Gaza directly in the crossfire. Now, you tell me: Is that right?

- Ibid.

In the Chanukah story, the Jewish people were forced into hiding. No one thought they would survive or that the few drops of oil they had would last. But they survived, and the oil kept burning. During those eight days in hiding, they recited their prayers and continued their traditions.

- Douglas Emhoff, the Jewish husband of U.S. Vice President Kamala Harris, in a social media post getting the Chanukah story wrong

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I’ll say it again, I left the house without even being called to the reserves. I am full of pride and a sense of mission, and I have always said that if I have to die I wish and hope that it will be in defense of others and the country. “Jerusalem, I have appointed guards”, one day will come and I will be one of them.

Hamas, Hamas deliberately slaughtered and murdered some 1,200 people on the seventh of October, and it seems like we’re all willing to forget that.

Deliberately! It was their intent. And to take hostages. They actually — that was the purpose of the whole thing on the seventh.

DECEMBER 14, 2023

Even if something happens to me, I ask you not sink into sadness. I had the privilege of fulfilling my dream and destiny and you can be certain that I am looking down on you and with a big smile.

I will probably sit next to Grandpa, and we will bridge some gaps, everyone will tell about their experiences and what has changed between the wars we were both in. Maybe we’ll also talk a little politics, and I will ask him what he thinks.

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

DECEMBER 14, 2023

Think about the Palestinian side. It’s hard for the Palestinians. They’re being bombed.

- A Red Cross representative’s cold-hearted response at a meeting with a hostage’s parents who fruitlessly begged the useless organization to get their daughter medication that she needs to take daily

The people of Gaza only decided to break the siege, the walls of the concentration camp on October 7th. And yes, I was happy to see people breaking the siege and throwing down the shackles of their own land and walk free into their lands that they were not allowed to walk in - Council on American-Islamic Relations co-founder and executive director Nihad Awad

We condemn these shocking, antisemitic statements in the strongest terms. The atrocities of that day shock the conscience, which is why we can never forget the pain Hamas has caused for so many innocent people.

- White House spokesman Andrew Bates responding to Awad’s comments

It was one of the most despicable moments in the history of U.S. academia.

- Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla, tweeting about the presidents of Harvard, MIT and the University of Pennsylvania refusing to say that calling for genocide of Jews is considered harassment

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School of

Thought THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

By Etti Siegel

Q: A:

A:

Q:

Mrs. Etti Siegel holds an MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. She is an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning, is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech Magazine and The Journal for Jewish Day School leaders. She will be answering your education-based questions and writing articles weekly for The Jewish Home. Mrs. Siegel can be reached at ettisiegel@gmail.com.

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Dear Worried, You don’t have to be worried yet. There are many reasons your daughter might not be performing the tasks mentioned. The fact that she is your youngest and you are all treating her like a baby could explain a lot.

But. Unlike at home where there are many different ages and stages, in school, the teacher is working with a group that is all the same age. The children are expected and encouraged to work independently and interdependently, pour drinks, serve food, zip and button their own coats, etc. The teacher is able to look at a group of children and clearly see who is ahead of the curve and who is falling behind.

I would take your teacher’s recommendations seriously but without panic. I would encourage your daughter to do “big girl” tasks and cheer her on at home when she acts independently.

I remember my oldest daughter bringing my granddaughter to playgroup on the first day of school and discovering that toddlers her age all were familiar with coloring on paper with crayons. She didn’t realize! Now all her children scribble from a young age. They even get to experiment with children’s scissors, watercolor paint, glue, and tape.

It would still be wise to also have her evaluated.

What is Occupational Therapy (OT)?

OT for children is a therbut she doesn’t like missing class. apy that focuses on how Should I insist? Should I allow The fact that she children are able to perform her not to go this year? I am torn. everyday functions. The OT’s Any advice? is your youngest list is long! They might work -Mom of Therapy-Adverse on crawling for left-right Child and you are all brain strengthening, handtreating her like writing, brushing teeth, or carrying items. They will ask Dear Mom, a baby could how the child is doing in and It is out of school and even find hard to be explain a lot. out what the child likes doing pulled out in their own time. of c la s s Children who have coorfor therapy. FOMO is a real issue dination issues, delayed mofor many children! For students tor skills, or seem sensitive to processing sound, light, with a legitimate need, therapy helps children mastouch, and other sensory stimuli benefit greatly from OT. ter skills they cannot do on their own, helping those A good therapist will work on self-help, independent who are falling behind their peers. Speech therapy, play, school readiness, sensory and motor skills, social physical therapy, occupational therapy, and reading skills, and cognitive development. They will work on zip- and literacy assistance are all given to children to help ping, buttoning, tying, putting on clothing, and all other them catch up, be excited about learning, and feel good necessary skills for dressing. about themselves.

There is research to suggest that difficulty with fine If your child was mandated services, she probably motor schools can actually be an early sign of reading needs them. Yes, as her parent, you can revoke consent issues. If someone in your family has dyslexia, there is whenever you want, but you might not be able to get the even a stronger reason to have your child tested. The services back if you realize that she needs them later. earlier your child gets the support and skills to master Why does your daughter not want to go? What class reading, the easier the process will be. events is she missing? Have a real talk with her. The Hatzlacha! situation might just need some tweaking. Maybe her -Etti teacher can do the class activity she misses at a time she is there. Maybe the therapy can be done at another time during school, during a specialty she doesn’t mind missing or with the other teacher. Maybe for this Dear Etti, My daughter does not year, your daughter can have the therapy after school want to go out to therapy hours.

Hatzlacha! in school. She desperately -Etti needs the help she is getting

DECEMBER 14, 2023

Dear Etti, My child’s teacher seems concerned about my fourand-a-half-year-old’s inability to button her shirt, put on her socks and shoes, zip her coat, and a myriad of other such small tasks. She is the baby of the family and doesn’t get much opportunity to do these things. We all baby her so much! I am telling my family to stop coddling her, but the teacher makes it sound like it is indicative of a much larger issue. Should I be concerned?

-Worried

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

My father is a very domineering man who makes it clear that my choices are always going to be scrutinized. I think it is because of this that every guy I go out with leads me to feel that the guy I am dating is not good enough. (For reference, I am 28, a lawyer, and very driven). I am constantly

wrestling with negative thoughts on dates. I scrutinize the guy after dates and very often find myself uninterested in going out again. I wish I was like my many friends who floated easily through dating and have settled down easily.

I work with a therapist, but this is more recent as I was brought up that therapy was for people with “real” problems.

Even now, I have to fight thoughts in my head that come up chastising myself for seeing a therapist. I guess you can

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say I am at the stage where I’m all ears to suggestions to help my dating life. I want to get married more than anything, but I feel like I’m getting nowhere. Any thoughts?

Thank you, Naami*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

N

aami, you are a smart girl. There are no shortcuts to this maze. You have to navigate the journey to find a mate, deal with the dead ends, and deal with yourself and your personal challenges.

This will take time and effort. The journey will enrich you; you will be a more developed person for having participated in the growth process that is therapy.

You will be more open to real connection when you view it this way and not as a zero-sum game.

You are definitely on your way because you are seeing a therapist. You are not merely learning about yourself and your cerebral and ruminative style. You are going to learn to trust yourself and open yourself up to following with your gut/heart after you lead with your head.

The primacy of the brain is your nature, but it should not end there. You will learn to allow yourself to feel and connect.

You are also struggling to deal with the possibility of therapy helping someone who is smart, accomplished, and not broken. Understand yourself. Go through the process of therapy with someone capable.

Whether it is cognitive behavioral therapy or other modalities, move on.

Own your feelings. Separate from your dad. And perhaps join a therapy group as well. You may need validation and input from others as well as individual therapy.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond

T

hank you for writing into our column.

You are certainly on the right path towards finding your bashert and settling down.

My first piece of advice for you is to work through the pain and trauma you have pent up, which is causing this blockage on all of your dates. You seem to understand the root of where your blockage comes from, as you outline in your

letter. Having your father’s voice in your head on every date is just shunning every possible suitable match right now. Take a break from dating while you go through these beginning stages of healing. You WILL come to a place where you will be ready. You will be ready for meeting men with a realistic understanding that people are multifaceted human beings with good qualities, flaws, positives and negatives.

I have another thought to share. In your mind, nobody will be perfect enough for your father, but think to yourself, is your mother “perfect”? Is your father “perfect”? Try to come to a place within yourself where you recognize that your father’s voice in your head is not a rational one. The voice might never go away, but you can learn to overpower that voice with a strong-willed inner voice of your own that drowns it out. Talk to yourself, inwardly: “I deserve to get married to an amazing man, he may not be perfect, but I want to and WILL get married.” This self-talk should help you build up the confidence to go rationally into dating, and iy”H settle down with a great guy soon.

The Single Tzipora Grodko

H

i Naami, I’m so happy to hear that you’re in therapy. It’s really difficult to make healthy choices when we need to dismantle programmed habits and beliefs that no longer service us. The BEST answer is for you to continue attending therapy (at least on a weekly basis). The work takes time, so be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process.

Other than therapy, I would recommend trying to give each date more time before concerning yourself with a premature termination. It’s easy for me to tell you to “stay present” and simply “try to have fun without allowing racing thoughts to ambush you,” but I know it’s far from simple. Surround yourself with as much support as possible. A mentor or credible dating coach can be invaluable to you throughout your process as well. You WILL get through this!

The Zaidy Dr. Jeffrey Galler

W

ow! There’s a lot to unpack here.

You’ve been raised by a domineering father who made you insecure about your choices.

You’re seeing a therapist, but your belief that therapy only helps folks with “real problems” makes successful intervention unlikely.

Your lawyerly experiences have driven you to scrutinize every flaw in everyone that you meet.

My good friend, Allen W., had this facetious, yet practical suggestion: “After you go on a date, sit down, and make one list of everything you like about him, and one list of everything you don’t like about him. Then, throw out the “bad” list, and keep the “good” list.”

So, may I respectfully suggest that the

The voice might never go away, but you can learn to overpower that voice with a strong-willed inner voice of your own.

next time you meet a guy, go out a few times despite any initial negative perceptions that you might have.

Then, consider shifting your focus from the end goal of getting married to the more short-term goal of getting to know the guy and to enjoying yourself on a date. Please date the guy a few times, get to know more about each other, allow yourself to enjoy yourself, and see what develops naturally.

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Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

D

ear Naami, Thank you for your email! Living under the scrutiny of a domineering parent is challenging at the least and fear-inducing at worst. I understand that you are now finding yourself not only scrutinizing the men you are dating but constantly scrutinizing yourself. Very often, people who are “hard” on others are the hardest on themselves.

I am happy to hear that you are in therapy, aware of the issue, and currently addressing it. I hope it is a fruitful experience for you and one that will help you offer yourself some relief from this

harsh inner critic you carr y.

There are so many wonderful forms of therapy to help you soothe and quiet these thoughts. Whether it is working to develop a healthier competing voice in cognitive behavioral therapy or creating a safe space for your inner child to feel safe and free and “play” (or any of the other wonderful techniques out there), therapy can be so helpful! I understand from your email that you just started therapy.

More often than not, there are no “quick fixes.” It takes time.

I do have a hunch that when you begin

to be able to have compassion for yourself and experience more joy and levity within yourself and fully accept all the parts of you, you likely will feel more present on dates and be able to take in more fully the person in front of you and connect with joy and fun and be more mindful within your own body and how you are feeling in the presence of this person, instead of being consumed by his idiosyncrasies and flaws.

Quirks and flaws and mistakes, a freckle on the nose, a crooked tooth, a roundabout path to the present, an “odd” family member, and a “sticky situation” are the things that make a good person beautiful. Somewhere along the way you learned that parts of you are not beautiful or worthy of love. This notion stems not from the truth but from your father’s issues and faulty perception. We are all

Our worthiness is not conditional.

inherently worthy of love and we are worthy “if and when.” Our worthiness is not conditional.

I hope that through therapy you begin to internalize this and really feel it. As a lovely complement to talk therapy, you can try somatic (body) work such a dance class or breath work to help your body physically process and release some of the ideas it is holding on to. Always be kind to and love yourself.

Sincerely, Jennifer

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

Towards a Healthier Self

DECEMBER 14, 2023

Dr. Marcy Forta Talks About Helping to Cultivate a Positive Body Image for Our Teens and Girls

Marcy FortaHs

She wanted to bring joy and happiness to women, but what she ended up seeing was just how difficult clothing shopping can be for self and body image.

When Marcy sold the store, she took these encounters and the struggles the women faced with her. It affected her deeply, and she felt so strongly as she herself struggled with body image issues that led to an eating disorder as a teen.

“I consider myself very, very lucky to have gotten out of it,” says Dr. Forta of her experience. “Eating disorders are one of the hardest mental health issues to treat. It usually takes an average of six years to recover from one.”

Knowing how difficult eating disorders are to treat and recognizing that there are qualified professionals out there in the field helping people, Dr. Forta wanted to approach the issue from a different angle. Research shows that prevention works and that heading off an eating disorder is much easier than treating one. There are risk factors at the root of eating disorders Dr. Marcy Forta

that if addressed early, before a person has a diagnosable eating disorder, are much more likely to have a positive outcome.

Dr. Forta went back to school and got a doctorate in Educational Leadership with an emphasis on behavioral health.

“I did my dissertation on the unique risk factors for eating disorders within the frum female adolescent community. I spoke to rabbanim, principals, teachers, doctors, and mental health professionals to understand our unique risk factors,” she shares.

Prevention for eating disorders works, but it needs to be targeted and it needs to take environmental concerns into consideration. Dr. Forta saw that using a secular curriculum wouldn’t do the trick in our classrooms.

And that’s how Atzmi was born.

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journey may seem unusual to an outside observer, as she went from owning and operating her own clothing store to getting her EdD and starting a nonprofit called Atzmi, which is a Torah-based, empirically backed eating disorder prevention and self-worth program. But for Dr. Forta, it was precisely her experiences with the local frum women that inspired her trajectory.

As a store owner, she worked with women and girls daily. She saw young girl after young girl with the same frown as they looked at themselves in the mirror. The pattern was always the same – the mothers would come to Marcy asking her to help their daughters find something they liked and help them feel good. The mothers just didn’t know how to have these types of conversations with their daughters and support them. Marcy also noticed the struggle of young new mothers, who shortly after birth burst into tears in the dressing room, as well as older women walk out emptyhanded because they struggled with their changing body.

Originally, when Marcy opened her clothing store, the idea was to empower women to look and feel their best in tziniusdik, fashionable, and affordable clothing.

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DECEMBER 14, 2023

68 “I wanted to give our girls the tools they need from a Torah, hashkafa, and empirically based perspective,” says Dr. Forta as she explains Atzmi’s goal.

The standards for Atzmi’s efficacy are very high. Dr. Forta continues to collect data from all her programs and analyzes it with the same rigor as she did while carrying out her doctoral research.

When asked about why rates of eating disorders are higher among the Jewish population, Dr. Forta has a wealth of insight. There is not a clear understanding as to why some people with similar risk factors will go on to develop eating disorders while others do not. What we do know is that there are numerous risk factors that contribute to eating disorder onset. General risk factors include genetics, family dynamics, societal expectations, personality, and psychological factors, among others. We, as frum Jews, have to contend with all of these, as well as some unique to our community.

The Pressure to Be Perfect

Take food, for example, a wonderful bracha from Hashem that is both a promotion of health and a protection of life. Food plays a critical role in our oneg Shabbos and yom tov and in all our simchas. The sheer abundance of, and time spent in planning and preparation of, as well as the weekly occurrence of large and extensive meals, creates a paradox. On the one hand, cooking and making large meals is emphasized and expected, yet often the message given to women and girls is to be careful not to enjoy it too much. We should be able to cook and bake well – but not indulge ourselves.

In addition, food is found to be used as a control mechanism for those who feel, whether accurately or perceived, that they don’t have control over their own decisions and choices. Food is further complicated by the fact that it is something that we need on a daily basis.

When someone has an addiction to alcohol or drugs or gambling, the solution is to remove it from their lives completely, but this is not possible with food, making it more of a challenge.

Pressure is another large category of risk. Perfectionistic pressure, the need to be and exemplify perfection, is particularly damaging. Our expectations of perfection, to be and to accomplish certain things, leads to excessive pressure for us and can become crippling to those who feel as though they are falling short. Our overall mindset – that we should be able to do it all, to push through any setback or struggle and get the job done no matter what – places huge pressure on women and girls of all ages, wreaking havoc on our self-esteem and self-image, creating substantial risk for eating disorders.

Academic pressure is another area of considerable pressure. Girls are expected to be model students and get good grades. I’ve heard many stories of girls who are deeply distraught if they receive a B on their report card as they feel that anything less than an A is a complete failure. This is particularly hard for girls who struggle scholastically. The accompanying social pressure compounds this pressure as some girls want to associate

age. All of these and more burden our girls considerably. Pressure is a substantial, documented risk for increased vulnerability regarding disordered eating and eating disorders as well as for lower self-esteem and reduced body-image. Our community, with its additional unique pressures, experiences real and measurable risk.

A Healthier Image

only with those also on a high academic track. Further, there is substantial academic pressure to get into the “right” seminary in order to ensure the proper shidduch. There is an overarching subtle message that you have to do well in school in order to marry well.

This brings us to shidduch pressure, a multifaceted category of pressure. The pressure to be a desirable partner is created from a very young age. Girls as young as 8 or 9 are discussing the expectation to be thin and to be beautiful, warning that without those you may not get a good shidduch. While they are aware that shidduchim

Our expectations of perfection, to be and to accomplish certain things, leads to excessive pressure for us and can become crippling to those who feel as though they are falling short.

do not directly affect them currently, it is still front and center in their minds. Shadchanim have been known to tell girls that they have to lose weight in order to even get a date. Mothers, while screening prospects for their sons, will eliminate girls based on their or their mother’s dress size. This appearance focus pressure increases risk.

These young impressionable girls watch the struggles of their siblings, cousins, and older friends and know what is in store for them. There is a constant pressure to be ready and attractive for the shidduch, to ensure you have what you need on your resume, and that you conform to the requisite physical expectations.

There are other pressures as well – peer pressure, that need to be a part of and accepted by certain social groups, as well as a constant pressure generated by the implication that thin equals happy, and the pressure for our girls to grow up quickly, as they are expected to take on much responsibility and be ready to marry at a young

Where, then, do we go from here? How do we counteract these seemingly insurmountable challenges?

Having these important conversations is the vital first step. Educating ourselves about our unique risk factors and struggles creates awareness, and all knowledge is power. Eating disorder prevention programs are also imperative and have had measurable success in reducing overall risk as well as in supporting self-esteem and body image and are crucial to offsetting these devastating and difficult to treat disorders and fulfilling our chiyuv of v’nishmartem moed es nafshosaichem.

So, what are some practical and usable ideas that can help us move toward healthier mindsets, both for ourselves and for our children? With limited space, I’ll introduce five: Shifting the Focus: Very often, we are paralyzed by a number on the scale or by the numbers or sizes inside our clothing. We have to shift our focus and rethink our relationship with food. Food is nourishment. Food sustains us. We need food several times a day, each and every day. Food should not be used as a reward – not in school, not for losing weight, not for going to camp, not for anything. Likewise, food should also not be used as a punishment – you cannot eat this food or do this thing until you lose a certain amount of weight. Food needs to be used as a tool for our health, and it should be recognized as such.

The same is true of our children’s weight. Paying them or bribing them to lose a certain amount of weight is counterproductive and dangerous. We must be so careful in how we speak to our daughters about food, what they eat, how much they eat, and what they weigh.

Rethinking Priorities: We teach our children from a young age to focus on middos, internals, as that is what matters and is fundamental to our relationship with Hashem, but our behavior sometimes says the opposite. Often, we model and reinforce externality and physicality as things we aspire to – be beautiful and be thin in order to have real value. We praise people who lose weight and who are physically pleasing, highlighting how important these things really are to us. But, as Yidden, this is not who we are meant to be. We have to stop the excessive praise of people who lose weight or who we deem beautiful. That does not mean we cannot acknowledge them, but the emphasis must be redirected toward the middos and inner character traits of the person.

Stop Modeling Perfectionism: Our children must see us acknowledge that we are not perfect – and that that’s OK. We work so hard to be superwomen, having children and taking care of them, cooking elaborate meals, cleaning and taking care of the house, entertain-

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risk factors for disordered eating and eating disorders, as well as how to recognize the symptoms and signs that accompany them. Eating disorder prevention programs must also be instituted in schools so as to bolster healthy

Dr. Marcy Forta is a leading authority on eating disorders education, awareness, and prevention, the founder and creator of the non-profit Atzmi (Atzmi.org), an expert on body image, and provides support for loved ones of those struggling with an eating disorder. You can reach her at Atzmi.org/contact or at marcyforta.com.

DECEMBER 14, 2023

Our children must see us acknowledge that we are not perfect – and that that’s OK.

eating habits, increase nutrition knowledge, and offer body-image and self-esteem support.

The workshops offered from Atzmi have been created with the frum girl in mind and are based on Torah and hashkafa. They are also empirically based to not only head off eating disorders but also to give the girls tools and outlets for their emotions, help them cultivate self-compassion, help them feel comfortable in their bodies, reduce the focus on outward appearance, and much more. Atzmi also offers a workshop for mothers to help them better understand body image, how it is created, and their role in helping their daughters with theirs, as well as a workshop for teachers that helps with recognizing eating disorders, helping their students, and creating safe classroom spaces free from weight bullying and stigma which we know is going on in younger grades each year.

Atzmi has also developed a program for women to who are struggling with food, body issues, and self -esteem.

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ing, learning, davening, and working.

If our children cannot see us acknowledge that we are not perfect, life is not perfect, and that we too sometimes get overwhelmed, then they do not have the tools to cope when they feel they have not lived up to our standards and expectations. They feel less than, and often don’t even know how to ask for help.

This can lead to all kinds of negative coping strategies that are detrimental both mentally and physically.

Reducing the Stigma: Often, there is shame and guilt associated with asking questions or needing help. If girls don’t see the adults in their lives model acceptance of needing help, then they feel that something is wrong with them, leading to feelings of shame and guilt. And while there have been inroads in our community regarding mental health intervention stigma, there is still a long way to go, even more so with eating disorders. We don’t judge those who need medical help for a physical disease or ailment; mental and emotional health must be treated equally, without judgment, bias, or labels.

Educating and Increasing Awareness: There is a need to understand how to develop an appropriately healthy relationship with food. This must start at a young age, as attitudes and perceptions that may ultimately contribute to disordered eating are developed in children as young as six. Parents, educators, and health professionals need to understand that our community has unique

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70

Common

Cents

By Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST

Zillow Quotes Don’t Pay For Vacations: Liquid Vs Illiquid Wealth

I

n personal finance, the ability to track progress over time is essential. We often hear about comparing the performance of your investment accounts to some benchmark – meaning how well your investment account has grown compared to some other portfolio of investments. There is a lot to say on the topic of benchmarks, and often, people get hung up on comparing their investments to a benchmark that has little in common with their financial plan.

However, there is one critical metric that should be part of everyone’s financial plan, and that is Net Worth.

Net Worth: The Standard Metric Net worth is a snapshot of your financial status, representing the total value of your assets minus your liabilities.

It’s a simple equation: what you own minus what you owe. This includes: • Cash and Equivalents: Immediate funds in checking and savings accounts.

• Investments: Holdings in stocks, bonds, ETFs, mutual funds, and other securities.

• Retirement Accounts: Funds in 401(k)s, IRAs, and other retirement plans.

• Real Estate: Market value of owned property.

• Personal Property: Value of items like cars, jewelry, and art.

• Liabilities: Debts, including mortgages, loans, credit card balances, and other financial obligations.

For many, a substantial portion of net worth is tied up in home equity.

However, net worth can be misleading, including assets not readily convertible to cash. When looking into

your financial wealth at a point in time, it is essential to consider the assets you have today that can pay for things, services, or experiences today.

Liquid Net Worth: A Closer Look at Financial Preparedness Liquid net worth refines the concept by focusing on assets that can be quickly converted into cash. It’s calculated as: • Liquid net worth = Liquid assets – Debts The composition of liquid net worth includes: • Liquid Assets: Cash, equivalents, and investments that can be quickly sold without significant loss.

• Liabilities: Similar to net worth, encompassing all debts and obligations.

This metric provides a more accurate representation of your ability to handle financial emergencies and opportunities. It reflects the portion of your readily accessible wealth, unlike fixed assets like homes or retirement accounts, which are not immediately liquid.

Why Liquid Net Worth Matters Liquid net worth is crucial for several reasons: • Emergency Preparedness: It indicates your ability to handle unexpected financial crises without incurring additional debt.

• Investment Opportunities: A higher liquid net worth means more flexibility to capitalize on timely investment opportunities.

• Financial Flexibility: It offers a realistic view of your available resources for spending, investing, or saving.

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Case Study: The Tale of Two Net Worths Imagine two individuals: Person A has a high net worth due to substantial property ownership but a low liquid net worth. Person B has a lower net worth but a higher liquid net worth due to significant holdings in liquid assets. In a financial downturn, Person B is better positioned to manage immediate expenses and take advantage of market opportunities. After all, you can’t pull a few bricks out of your house to cover your summer vacation, but you can certainly sell some shares of a diversified portfolio in your brokerage account.

While there are ways to create liquidity from an illiquid asset, such as a home, these options come at a cost in the name of interest and fees. Utilizing a home equity loan or a home equity line of credit (HELOC) is a way to create liquidity from your home, but it requires you to take on a liability to do so. This is not to say that using your home’s equity as a source for specific funding is terrible, but don’t fool yourself into thinking that borrowing against your home is a “free lunch.”

The two charts above present the stark difference between net and liquid net worth by age in the United States.

(Data is from the Survey of Consumer Finances, 2022) Growing Your Liquid Net Worth Increasing your liquid net worth boils down to either enhancing your liquid assets or reducing your liabilities. Strategies include: • Saving and Investing Wisely: Focus on accumulating assets that can be easily liquidated.

• Debt Management: Paying off high-interest debts is crucial.

There is no hard and set rule, but generally speaking, I recommend that for debts with interest rates above 8%, prioritize repayment.

For those below 4%, consider maintaining minimum payments

while investing in liquid assets.

Debts with rates between 4%-8% take a balanced approach.

• Income Maximization: Boosting your income provides more opportunities to enhance your liquid asset base.

While liquid net worth is a vital measure, it has its limitations. It operates assuming all debts could be called in simultaneously, an unlikely scenario.

Therefore, in real-life financial emergencies, the focus should be more on liquid assets than liquid net worth.

Conclusion: Balancing Net Worth and Liquid Net Worth Net worth and liquid net worth are both important financial metrics. Net worth offers a broader view of your financial progress, while liquid net worth provides a more accurate picture of your financial agility and preparedness.

In an increasingly unpredictable financial environment, having a clear understanding of both, especially your liquid net worth, can mean the difference between financial stability and distress.

As you navigate your financial journey, remember that the ultimate goal is not just to accumulate wealth but to ensure that a significant portion of it is readily accessible when you need it most. This balance is the key to not only surviving financial downturns but also thriving in them.

Common Cents is now digital on YouTube @CommonCents613 The decision to start saving and investing is yours, but the “how” can be hard. Email commoncents@northbrookfinancial.com to schedule a free financial planning consultation with our team.

Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST is Co-Founder of Northbrook Financial, a Financial Planning, Tax, and Investment Management Firm. He has developed and continues to teach a popular Financial Literacy course for high school students.

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To Raise a Laugh

By Mordechai Schmutter

The Chanukah Weight-Loss Plan

N

o offense, but we really need to lose weight already.

Every year, everybody makes the same jokes about how Chanukah is horrible for our diets, between the latkes and the sour cream and the donuts and the lasagna and the onion soup with cheese melted in it, and—okay, I’m going to take a break now because I need to go make myself some of those foods.

Okay, I’m back. So what I’m saying is that I don’t think that we, as a society, are trying hard enough. See, we keep saying things like, “How do we lose weight after Chanukah?” But who says we need to lose weight after Chanukah? Let’s lose weight on Chanukah!

Sure, losing weight on Chanukah is not easy.

After all these years, we should know by now that we’re never really going to eat better on Chanukah. But what we forget is that there’s more than one way to peel a potato. You can eat right, or you can exercise. We’re never going to stop eating, but there’s nothing that says that we can’t be more active. Sure, that first half hour we’re supposed to be sitting in front of the candles. But there are 24 hours in a day. And even that one half hour, you could be running down the street with your menorah. Imagine the pirsumei nisa!

Though that could be too much like the Greeks.

Also, a lot of people read this column, and if all those people start running down the street with menorahs, it would not be good for the Jews. No one is going to say, “Ooh, pirsumei nisa!”

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But maybe we, as a society, can work a little harder on reconfiguring some of the other things

we do on Chanukah to make them more of a workout. Because as it stands, we’re not very active on Chanukah. Pesach has all the same potatoes, but on top of running around and baking matzah, we clean our entire house. That’s a workout. And for Sukkos, we build a house. We also walk around in circles doing aerobic exercises with our arbah minim and our machzorim. But what other holiday do we just sit around at parties for an entire week, saying, “I don’t know, let’s play a game where we have to answer questions about our spouses”?

What do we do for recreation on Chanukah? We play dreidel, which is arguably the least athletic game in the world. You sit around, you flick your fingers, and the winner gets chocolate. They should at least make the dreidels heavier, so it’s actually like lifting weights. In the old days, they made them out of clay, so that was something, at least.

In fact, if we really wanted to work out, dreidels would be massive, 7-foot, 600-lb. toys, and the way to spin one is that you have to get 4 people together, and have each one hold a side up and run in unison, and then you all let go at once and back up as it spins around the room, and then you have to keep dodging it so no one gets flattened. The winner of that can get chocolate.

And the games we play at massive family Chanukah parties can also be more athletic than they are. For example, we can play games like “How Many Babies Can You Hold?” Or “Who Can Put On The Most Coats?”

And speaking of making games more active, how about playing dreidel in a cave, like they did in the old days? Dreidel would be a lot better for weight loss if we can add spelunking to the game.

And also, quite possibly, running from bears.

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And speaking of the olden days, I think we should all have to make our own olive oil. The stores should stop selling olive oil altogether and just sell olives. And giant vats. And the olives can be available in different colors, so you can buy a color that you don’t normally eat. That way, there’s no confusion of, say, someone eating from the wrong vat.

On

second

thought,

maybe you should keep the vat out at the Chanukah party, so people have less of an appetite.

We should also have to twist our own wicks, which is probably not a big deal, so maybe we should also have to pick the cotton. And we should also have to make our own Chanukah candles. For one thing, they’d be bigger. I made candles exactly once in my life, on a 4th grade field trip. Everyone had to walk around in a circle, and when we got near the hot stove, we would dip our string into the wax. I’m not sure why all the walking was important, other than they didn’t want everyone dipping their hands into hot wax at once, but all the walking would definitely help in our situation.

And then we can write songs that make more sense than the current dreidel song!

“I have some little candles, I made them out of wax; I did all those hakafos, So I’d fit into my slacks.”

“I had a little wick that, I made from cotton balls; I twisted all the chutin, Like I do for all my shawls.”

“I have a vat of oil, I made it out of zeisim; I crushed the olives barefoot, And the whole thing smells like meisim.”

And we can even take this back to dreidels: “I have a massive dreidel, It weighs about a ton, And now I need four players, Or this thing will crush someone.”

So the idea is to go back to what they did in the olden days. You didn’t have people a thousand years ago complaining about how fat they were after Chanukah. You think the Chashmonaim would have won the war if they weighed what we weigh?

Maybe. If they would have weighed what we weigh, they probably could have gone head to head with the elephants.

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.

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Your

Money

TikTok Tax Tip

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By Allan Rolnick, CPA

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B

arely five years ago, in September 2018, a Chinese company named ByteDance rolled out a video-sharing social media app called TikTok. The company’s Chinese origin has caused headaches around the globe, with concerns that they might pass sensitive user data to the Chinese government.

Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, and Montana have banned the app entirely, while a dozen other countries, including the U.S., have banned it from government devices. Despite those concerns, the app has over one billion monthly users.

But hey, let’s throw security out the window—anyone selling anything wants to capture those two billion eyeballs.

Naturally, that includes tax pros. Many of them have uploaded videos discussing a little-known strategy called the “Augusta Rule.” It’s also a popular topic on Facebook and Instagram. (It might be popular on Twitter, too, but who would know?) And that raises the question, can you really trust your tax planning to a social media video sandwiched between jumping monkeys and lip-syncing teenagers?

The Augusta Rule takes advantage of code section 280A(g), which says you can rent your home for up to 14 days per

year without owing tax on that income.

It got that name because homeowners in Augusta, Georgia, can make some nice tax-free coin renting their homes for the Masters golf tournament every April.

But you can use it anywhere there’s demand for your house. If there’s a golf tournament, Super Bowl, or Olympics

one of those strategies with no explicit IRS support. However, two recent Tax Court decisions affirm that it’s kosher, so long as you dot your i’s and cross your t’s.

In August, the Tax Court issued an opinion in a case involving three partners operating a chain of Planet Fitness locations. They used the rule to deduct

Now, does the tax code really say you can rent your house to your own business?

rolling into town, knock yourself out!

And there’s a special angle that thrills the TikTok crowd. You don’t have to rent your house to a bunch of out-of-towners who trash your couch and spill red wine on your carpets. You can rent it to your own business—for bona fide business functions, of course—to turn taxable business income into tax-free rent.

Now, does the tax code really say you can rent your house to your own business? Well, it doesn’t say you can’t.

So, for years, the Augusta Rule has been

an average of 300,2$ per day for each of their three homes over a three-year period. The frontline auditor who examined their returns determined that $500 was more reasonable and allowed it where the taxpayers had properly documented the meetings. The court upheld the auditor’s decision. Many “glass-half-empty” observers see the decision as an IRS victory because the taxpayers lost most of their Augusta deductions. But the “glass-half-full” crowd gets it right. The taxpayers didn’t get the rule wrong. They

just didn’t follow it right.

Last month, the court issued a second opinion in a similar case involving an engineer and his two sons, who deducted up to 500,2$ per day to rent their homes to their marketing business. The planner who recommended it warned they should support their rental rates with independent comps within a 100mile radius and urged them to engage an independent appraiser to value them every three years. But the taxpayers skipped that step and lost all of their Augusta Rule deductions. Again, the problem wasn’t a bogus strategy; it was bogus execution.

So, social media fans, what have we learned today? Tax deductions are great, even if you learn about them on social media. No boring law books required!

Just make sure you can document why you’re entitled to the deduction and why you’re entitled to the amount. We’re here to help!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

In The K tchen

Crockpot Onion and Flanken Soup Meat / Yields about 8 servings

By Naomi Nachman

be annoying, as you have to sauté the onions for a long time while stirring them. This recipe allows you to skip the sautéing, as your crockpot does all the work for you. I have even made this Friday

DECEMBER 14, 2023

Who doesn’t love a big bowl of onion soup? However, making it can

afternoon to serve for Shabbat lunch as a cholent alternative.

Just add an additional cup of water before candle lighting.

Ingredients

◦ 12 onions, cut into half-moons ◦ 1 tablespoon kosher salt ◦ ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper ◦ 2 pounds bone-in flanken ◦ 4 cups beef, chicken, or vegetable broth

1. Combine onions, salt, pepper, and oil in a crockpot; stir to combine.

2. Add flanken to the crockpot; cover with onion mixture. Cover; cook on high

for 4-5 hours, until onions are golden brown.

3. Add broth, wine, and miso paste; stir to combine. Cook for an additional hour. plate.

◦ ¾ cup red wine ◦ ¼ cup red miso paste

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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◦ ¼ cup oil

Preparation

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