Baltimore Jewish Home - 2-14-19 by Moshe Rubin

RABBI MARWICK & RABBI LEVENTHAL run with Team Lema’an Achai in the Jerusalem Marathon. Even from afar, you are able to take part in supporting Team Lema’an Achai by sponsoring Rabbi Marwick, Rabbi Leventhal or both.

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"I am very excited to be running a 10K race, as part of the Jerusalem Marathon, on March 15, 2019, to help support Team Lema'an Achai. This unique chessed organization takes a holistic approach to helping people. They truly represent the Rambam's principle that the highest level of tzedakah is helping a person stand on their own two feet. I have been very impressed with Lema'an Achai since I first met with Rabbi Leventhal and learned about the word they do. In addition, I am especially excited to be running the race with my son Moshe. I am really looking forward to the experience!" -Rabbi Marwick

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CONTENTS COMMUNITY

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Around the Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 Community Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Rabbi Berel Wein. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

PEOPLE 613 Seconds with Torah Institute PTA Presidium. . . . 19

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Notable Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

LIFESTYLES My Israel Home. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Health & Fitness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 How to Approach Shabbos the Healthy Way . . . . 50 Dating Dialogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Do You Really Think Tom Brady Is Happy?. . . . . . . 56 State of the Union 2019. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 Mental Health Corner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64 Forgotten Heroes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 Your Money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67 Gluten Free Recipe Column. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Life Coach. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 In the Kitchen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

NEWS

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Israel News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 National. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

Dear readers, This week’s parshah is the first one in which Moshe Rabbeinu is not mentioned by name since his arrival on the scene in Parshas Shemos. The reason for this, we’re told, is because while pleading with Hashem on behalf of the Yidden following the sin of serving the Golden Calf, Moshe said, “Forgive them, and if not, erase me from the book (the Torah) you have written.” The words of a tzaddik – even when stated with a condition – have an effect. Even though Hashem did forgive the Yidden in the end, some of the statement had to occur and indeed does in this week’s parshah. Think about it. Moshe Rabbeinu’s whole being and identity was the Torah. It was life itself. Yet, here he was, ready to give it up for Yidden who had just created an idol! The lesson speaks for itself. Caring for a fellow Yid means exerting oneself even if it takes spiritual mesiras nefesh. In addition to inconvenience, and sometimes going through hardship, to help a fellow Jew, there is also the aspect of giving of one’s own spiritual health so that another may experience it as well. It’s said in the name of the Baal Shem Tov that occasionally a neshamah comes down to this world and lives 70-80 years just to do a favor for another physically or spiritually. In the current atmosphere of identity politics and personal attacks, let us recommit to the klal gadol b’torah of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha, respecting and caring for each other exactly the way we’d like done to us. Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos, Shalom

The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

First Yahrtzeit of Harav Zvi Dov Slanger zt”l

n Sunday, January 27, the Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore marked the first yahrzeit of the Rosh Hayeshiva, Harav Zvi Dov Slanger zt”l. Following first seder, a yahrzeit seudah and siyum was held in the yeshiva dining room. Harav Yosef Berger shlit”a, Rav of Kehilas Kol Torah and former talmid, spoke about the influence Rav Slanger zt”l had on him personally, as well as his mesiras nefesh in building the yeshiva. The Bochurei Bais Hamedrash then joined the Hanhalah and members of the family for the Hakamas Matzeivah at the Bais Hakvaros. The day ended with a Kinnus Zikaron attended by over 500 people,

as local Rabbonim and members of the community joined the entire yeshiva in the beautiful new Bais Hamedrash to hear Divrei Zikaron about the life of Rav Slanger zt”l. Speakers included Harav Aaron Feldman, shlit”a, Rosh Yeshiva, Ner Yisroel of Baltimore; Harav Shmuel Kaminetzky, shlit’a, Rosh Yeshiva, Philadelphia Yeshiva; Harav Moshe Heinemann, Rav , Agudas Yisroel

of Baltimore;Harav Elyasaf Slanger, shlit”a, Menahel, Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore; and Harav Chaim Cohen, shlit”a, Rosh Yeshiva, Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Balti-

more. The MC was Rabbi Hillel Tendler, a talmid of the Rosh Yeshiva zt”l and close friend of the yeshiva. Yehi Zichro Boruch.

Bikur Cholim Of Baltimore Coordinates Arrangements For The Skulener Rebbe’s Stay In Hopkins

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BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

he Skulener Rebbe, shlita, arrived in Baltimore early Friday morning. On very short notice and with the assistance of local Skulener Chasidim who learn in the Chasidishe Kollel of Khal Cha-

sidim, Bikur Cholim of Baltimore arranged for the Rebbe to have minyanim with a Sefer Torah provided by Misaskim of Baltimore. At the request of Bikur Cholim, Johns Hopkins Hospital designated an area for minyanim and for the Rebbes gabaim and entourage. Many guests stayed at the Tikva House run by Jew-

ish Caring Network (JCN). Having such a great elder tzaddik in our midst is a big Zchus for the Baltimore community. The tzibbur is requested to continue to daven for Yisroel Avrohom Ben Shaina Rochel l’refuah shlaimah.

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Pence Visits Baltimore To Thank CBP Agents, Defend Immigration Goals By: Staff Reporter BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

ice President Mike Pence visited the Port of Baltimore on Friday to thank U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents and defend the administration’s immigration goals. “It is remarkable to think about how long the port of Baltimore has played a role in this nation... and it continues to play a vital role in the commerce of our nation today,” Pence said. Prior to his speech, Pence was briefed by officials from the CBP and its Baltimore field office and was shown some of the methods officers use to scan shipments, including scanners and K9 unit. He was joined by Rep. Andy Harris, the sole Republican in Maryland’s congressional delegation.

The Baltimore field office seized more than 3,500 pounds of drugs illegally smuggled into the country last year alone. Delivering a message of thanks from President Donald Trump, Pence visited Baltimore as negotiations continue that the administration hopes lead to $5.7 billion in funding for Trump’s prized wall on the southern border. In Washington on Friday, congressional negotiators appeared closer to a deal involving a much lower dollar amount, as well as a focus on the type and location of barriers. The deal is also expected to include funding for high-tech surveillance and more personnel. No one ruled out that last-minute problems could emerge, especially

with Trump’s penchant for head-snapping turnabouts. But the momentum was clearly toward clinching an agreement that Congress could pass by next Friday. The next day, many government agencies would have to close again for lack of money, if no deal is reached. In Baltimore, Pence commend-

ed CBP personnel for their commitment to their work, despite being unpaid during the 35-day shutdown that ended with the passage of a temporary funding bill last month. “You all stood tall, you stayed on your watch in the midst of that shutdown, you stayed on mission,” Pence said. Pence appeared to pledge that no matter what the outcome of congressional negotiations, the administration’s objective on the southern border remained the same. “I want to make you a promise that we’re going to continue-- to secure our border, north, south, east and west,” Pence said. “We’re going to build that wall one way or another, I promise you.”

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Hogan, Franchot Fight Push To Undo Order That Forced Schools To Start After Labor Day By: Staff Reporter BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

aryland Gov. Larry Hogan and Comptroller Peter Franchot are fighting a Senate bill that would undo Hogan’s executive order that forced schools to start after Labor Day. Hogan issued the order in 2016, with Franchot cheering the extra money that Marylanders would spend on excursions to Ocean City and other destinations. The bill, sponsored by Prince George’s County Sen. Paul Pinsky and Montgomery County Sen. Nancy King, would essentially undo that order, directing that each county board set the start and end date of its school year. The bill cleared a preliminary

Senate vote, 32-14, with a final vote expected next Tuesday. Three amendments were rejected. Hogan proposed the issue go before voters, and claimed Democrats are spreading lies about the issue. His office pointed out former Gov. Martin O’Malley and Senate President Thomas V. “Mike” Miller supported the idea and O’Malley considered an executive order like the one Hogan later signed. Pinsky said the measure would give schools more flexibility. Later Thursday, Hogan announced a compromise proposal that would codify the 2016 executive order, but also require a jurisdiction-wide ballot referendum if a school system opts to change their start date. He said if the Senate doesn’t work with him and instead passes their own measure, he

is.

will lead an effort to petition the bill to referendum. “Marylanders will have the deciding vote on this one way or another, and there is absolutely no question about where they stand on this issue,” Hogan said in a statement. Speaking to C4, Franchot said that if you asked Marylanders, they’d support keeping the school calendar as it

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“The kids like it, obviously, their families like it because they get to spend quality time. Businesses like it because they get to have a little bit extra in their summer season, rank-andfile teachers love starting school after labor day because they’re able to have a second job during the summer, et cetera, or they just get a change to recharge their batteries,” Franchot said. “I guess because it’s popular, the legislature wants to repeal it.” Baltimore County Executive John Olszewski Jr., in Annapolis for a press conference on a proposed raise of the minimum wage, said he likes having school start after Labor Day, but says the decision should be left up to local school boards.

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Inaugural YKY/TI Grandfather, Father, and Son Melava Malka

hat’s better than a program that includes father-son learning and a Melava Malka? One includes that grandfathers, too! On February 2, Motza’ei Shabbos Parshas Mishpatim, YKY/TI’s 5th and 6th graders enjoyed a special learning session with their fathers and grandfathers, followed by a Melava Malka with delicious food, live music, and a game. The event took place Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion and began with a beautiful display of inspired learning. Talmidim, fathers, grandfathers packed the main shul, producing a booming kol Torah. After learning, the attendees

moved into the social hall for a Melava Malka coordinated by Details by Dean and catered by the Knish Shop. One talmid was overheard saying, “Wow, they made a whole banquet just for us!” As everyone entered the hall, a slide-show with photos of the boys at school played, bringing many smiles to many faces. Dr. Elie Portnoy, event coordinator, served as emcee. He praised the talmidim for their effort, diligence, and menchlichkeit, the attributes the event was intended to celebrate. Dr. Portnoy also thanked the hanhala for their constant support and partnership with the parents. Rabbi Shimon Hirsch, Menahel,

shared divrei bracha and thanked the parents who organized such an enjoyable event. After a short video, Dr. Dani Sova led a trivia game, which brought everyone — even the adults —to their feet. Questions like “What’s the gematria of Yeshivas Kochav Yitzchok?” got the competitive juices flowing. After the last question, each table tallied their correct answers, allowing the talmidim to earn extra tickets for an exciting raffle. The raffle drawing was held before benching. Dr. Dovid Daniel captivated the boys as he drew the winning tickets for numerous prizes, including sleds, a Shabbos lamp, a sefer with custom

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engraving, gift certificates, with the grand prize — a travel Shas. The Melava Malka was a smashing success; the talmidim raved about it for days after. It was yet another demonstration of the beautiful partnership between the cheder and the parent body and their shared devotion for the continued success of their children.

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Around the Community

By: OU BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

his past Sunday, February 10, 2019, in Silver Spring, the Orthodox Union’s

Women’s Imitative held a “Sense and Sensitivity” Professional Development Training at Kemp Mill Synagogue for 22 Mikvah attendants from the Silver Spring and Baltimore areas. The training focused on various top-

ics such as, mental health, domestic abuse, fertility, post-partum depression, and miscarriage, and other sensitivities surrounding the Mikvah experience. Speakers included: Estee Silver,

RN, Ditza Berger, PhD, Avital Levin, LMSW, Melissa K. Rosen, MA, Carly Chodosh, Social Worker. Mikvah attendants also joined on a live stream from locations such as, Portland, OR, Englewood, NJ and Vancouver.

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

OU Women’s Initiative Runs Training for Mikvah Attendants of Baltimore and Silver Spring

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OCA’s 5th grade visits Baltimore City Hall

Great turnout for the Young Professionals event with Steve Fader benefitting the Associated Jewish Charities

Johnny O Visits Jewels

ohnny Olszewski Jr is the new Baltimore County Executive whose main focus

is on Education. He visited the Jewels school this week and was very impressed by the wide variety of services

the school offers. He offered to review different available programs to see how Baltimore County can help Jew-

els in fulfilling its mission.

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613 Seconds with the Torah Institute PTA Presidium - Mrs. Racheli Daniel, Mrs. Fayge Hackerman & Mrs. Chaya Monderer

Can you give examples of such events? CM: We just had dinner and paint nights for our 3rd and 4th grades respectively. The boys loved it and came home with a beautiful painting that they were very proud of. The program coordinator and volunteers had a great time as well. We recently sent the middle school honor roll students who maintain good grades and exhibit proper derech eretz - on a snow-tubing trip. They had a blast! On a community-wide level, we just brought the Living Torah Museum to town. The presentations were fun and educational, and also saved the attendees a trip to NY!

Wow! that sounds exciting. What other programs or “extras” do you provide?

RD: We provide Rosh Chodesh treats to the whole school, a special Rosh Chodesh breakfast for the middle school, and seasonal school-wide mesibos with live music and dancing. Last year we created an optional monthly Sunday pizza lunch. Our birthday book program added 1,000+ books to the school libraries and are constantly in demand. We subsidize the school’s Chemdas Mishnayos program grand trip which fosters the review of 10,000+ perokim of mishnayos! Are fathers involved with the PTA? FH: Sure! Fathers run the annual father-son Lag Ba’Omer BBQ & Bonfire. This is a real highlight for everyone. They also recently had an inaugural grandfather, father, and son Melava Malka which was a major hit. The program began with a Kol Ha’naorim learning session and was followed by an elegant

fleishig Melava Malka with live music, a cute video, a very fun trivia game, and raffle. It was a great experience and the kids (and adults) were talking about it the following week at school.

How does the PTA connect parents with each other? CM: B”H the Baltimore community, its schools, and its shuls have grown tremendously. Sometimes it can leave someone feeling lost in the crowd. The PTA provides a forum to meet other parents and build friendships while providing opportunities to make a meaningful difference for our children’s school experience. While volunteering in a school setting one naturally develops relationships with faculty and staff. Parents appreciate walking into their children’s school and seeing friendly and familiar faces. TI’s Banquet theme is Devotion: Each Child, Every Moment. What are your thoughts on that? RD: Parents think about their children throughout the day. Rebbeim,

moros, and teachers do too. Raising a child in 2019 is truly a partnership and it’s a great feeling knowing that there are caring and devoted educators who are really giving it their all to see our children be successful in school and in life. At the same time it is truly inspiring seeing how parents are committed to do whatever they can for their children, often making sacrifices and putting their children’s needs ahead of their own. What message would you share with other parents? PTA: Get involved! Our children are the future of Klal Yisroel and investing in them and their Chinuch cannot be overstated. Whether you have an hour a month or a week, you’ll reap an amazing “return” on your “investment.” Also, the feeling you have working with other parents and school staff who are passionate about their children’s chinuch is very special. Knowing you are part of a school family who share the same vision and mission is very powerful.

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Tell us about the PTA FH: The TI PTA is all about connecting parents with each other and school faculty - building a school community- while raising funds to provide our boys with exciting programs and events that make their day extra special.

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The Week In News

Horror in the Holy Land

Undercover Israeli special forces arrested the terrorist responsible for the brutal murder of 19-year-old Ori Ansbacher. 29-year-old Hevron resident Arafat Arafiah was nabbed in the mosque he was hiding in near Ramallah on Saturday. The Shin Bet security service said that he has already confessed to the crime after being interrogated and reconstructed the murder on Sunday.

According to authorities, Arfaiah set out from his home on Thursday armed with a knife. After chancing upon Ansbacher in Jerusalem’s Ein Yael Forest near the Biblical Zoo, he attacked her and brutally murdered her. Police who found her body later related that it was the most brutal crime scene they had ever witnessed. Ansbacher hailed from the Gush Etzion of Tekoa and was volunteering with troubled teens as part of her national service. She had walked to the picturesque El Yael for some alone time after an argument with a friend, where she met her grisly fate. The 19-year-old was buried on Friday in her hometown of Tekoa before thousands of Israelis. Her mother asked the crowd to perform good deeds and “light up the world” in memory of her murdered daughter. “I ask from those who are listening to us, and for whom our words are entering their hearts, to do one small thing to add light to the world – one act of kindness and maybe we will preserve Ori’s [soul] in the world and maybe we will have some comfort by adding light to the world,” Na’ah Ansbacher implored.

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“It’s important for us that the world know who Ori was,” added the distraught mother. “Ori was a child of light, adding so much light in the world. She cured broken hearts wherever she went, be it with her girlfriends, the boys and girls she worked with in her national [volunteer] service, even people she did not know.”

Israeli Airports Block 3M Attempts a Day

The offices in the airports in the Holy Land are busy blocking attempts at infiltrators to breach airport systems every day. At least 3 million attempts are prevented daily, mostly by bots, according to Roee Laufer, head of cyber and information security at Israeli’s Airports Authority. Speaking on the sidelines of a cybersecurity conference in Tel Aviv last month, Laufer said these “external threats” try to breach the “virtual fence” of cybersecurity protections the airports authority has built to protect the workings of the airports and border crossings it operates. The Airports Authority set up a cybersecurity division four years ago, and, after that, a security operation center (SOC) at the country’s main airport, Ben Gurion international airport, which handles cybersecurity threats 24/7/365, he said. The center “detects and responds to potential cyber events,” he said. The SOC makes Ben Gurion Airport possibly one of the only major international airports in the world that has such a center on its premises. The authority is in charge of the airports and the border crossings, but not of securing the airlines themselves, which remains their own responsibility. The Airports Council International, an umbrella organization of airport

authorities, predicts that by 2040 there will be 20.9 billion global passengers, up from 8.2 billion in 2017. Thus, airports must digitalize their processes to be able to handle this huge amount of traffic, said Laufer, from the check-in process to how airports interact with aircraft and how they vet passengers as they board. “IT is at the core of the airport business,” he noted. But this, in turn, increases the “attack surface” for cyber incidents at airports. As the world undergoes digitalization and more institutions and objects become connected to the internet, the risks of a cyberattack surge. The global cybersecurity market is expected to grow from $153 billion in 2018 to $248 billion by 2023, data research firm MarketsandMarkets says in a report. Israel punches above its weight in the cybersecurity field, with the nation receiving 20% of the global share of private cybersecurity investments, second only to the U.S. The airline industry is one of the most vulnerable and unprotected markets today, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu warned at a cybersecurity conference in Tel Aviv in January. “Our airlines can be attacked one hundred ways,” he said. “They can be attacked by ground control interference, they can be attacked by the systems within the plane and the communications. It is in many ways right now the most vulnerable system that we have, but as you know everything today is vulnerable and everything is under attack. Civil aviation is the one area that requires the most immediate cyber defense solution but it is one of hundreds.” Vulnerabilities at airports affect cities all over the world. In September, Bristol airport staff in the UK had to go back to working with whiteboards after all of its flight information screens were blacked out over a weekend in a ransomware attack. Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, one of the busiest in the world, shut off its internal Wi-Fi network as a security measure in March last year, as the city of Atlanta’s government network underwent a ransomware attack. The airline sector is also unique because there are a variety of parties involved in the business – airports, airlines and aviation industry suppliers – all of whom need to work very

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The Week In News closely with one another to make the industry tick. “It is a very interconnected sector,” Laufer said. In November, a group of Israeli cybersecurity firms, along with the Economy and Industry Ministry, set up a new cyber consortium to offer comprehensive, endto-end cybersecurity solutions for the commercial aviation industry — airports, airlines and aircraft. The consortium includes Israel Aerospace Industries (IAI), Cyber-

Ark, Check Point Software Technologies Ltd., El Al’s Cockpit Innovation hub, Karamba Security and ClearSky – a combination of veteran cybersecurity and aerospace firms that already offer “a broad range of aviation, security, intelligence and cyber solutions for the global market” alongside “young startups with cutting edge cyber products and technologies,” the consortium said in a statement at the time.

Rabbi Yehiel Eckstein passes away Rabbi Yehiel Eckstein, a world-famous philanthropic pioneer, passed away suddenly on February 6 after suffering a heart attack. He was 67. Eckstein was buried in Bet Shemesh’s cemetery before a crowd of

hundreds that included dignitaries such as US Ambassador David Friedman. Eckstein had lived in Israel since 2002 and left behind three daughters from his first wife. Born in New York, Eckstein received rabbinical ordination from Yeshiva University before working for various organizations in the Jewish non-profit industry, including the Anti-Defamation League and the Jewish Agency. Eckstein is known, however, for founding the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews (IFCJ), a charity fund that assisted Jews all over the world. Eckstein had started the IFCJ in 1983 as an attempt to foster cooperation between Christians and Jews. By 2002, it had become the second largest philanthropic organization in Israel and played a major role in solidifying evangelical support for the Jewish State. Eckstein’s majority-Christian donor base has poured more than $1.4 billion into the IFCJ since its founding, including $50 million in the last year alone. The group uses the funds for a wide range of programs, including assisting IDF soldiers, promoting Jewish immigration to Israel, child care, and assistance programs for elderly Holocaust survivors. According to estimates, the IFCJ directly enabled 17,000 Jews to move to Israel all over the world. However, Eckstein’s activities were controversial among some Jews, with claims that the charitable funds he received from Christians was given with the ulterior motive of missionizing.

In 2009, Rabbi Shalom Elyashiv ruled that it was forbidden to accept money from the organization, as it was akin to “idol worship” due to the religious nature of the donations. Senior Religious Zionist rabbis made similar rulings as well, with former Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi Avraham Shapira calling IFCJ donations “missionary money.” Eckstein rebutted throughout his

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career allegations that the funds he raised came with strings attached. “The majority of evangelicals are passionately pro-Israel because it is part of their theology to love and support the Jewish people,” Eckstein said in 2002. “I could not accept the conditional love of those who expect a payback on behalf of my people,” he added. “I could not embark on a relationship that would compromise my personal integrity and ideals or that of the Jewish community I represent. But having been the first – and most often the only – Jew to build bridges with the rightwing Christian community, I have a view and understanding of their pro-Israel fervor that most people ‘on the outside’ lack.” Despite the aforementioned controversy, accolades poured in from politicians and spiritual leaders all over the world after Eckstein’s passing. “The Jewish People have lost Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein, a leader who worked tirelessly on their behalf,” said Jewish Agency Chairman Isaac Herzog. “I worked with Rabbi Eckstein on social welfare, diaspora and aliyah. My deep condolences to his family and the entire International Fellowship of Christians and Jews.” Israel’s Prime Minister Netanyahu said that Eckstein “worked very hard to benefit the citizens of Israel and to strengthen the connection between the Christian communities and Israel. May his memory be a blessing.”

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With 9 million residents, Israeli many be a tiny country but when it comes to social media usage, it plays with the giants. A new study has found that Israelis use more social media than any other country in the world. With 77% of adults owning either a twitter or Facebook account, Israel came out on top of South Korea, which was close behind with 76%. The Pew Research Center survey also found that Israel is second in the world in smartphone ownership, with 88% of its citizenry owning one, behind South Korea’s 95%. The poll

was conducted last May and surveyed 30,133 respondents in 27 countries. Interestingly, cellphone usage in Israel has exploded in recent years among the elderly, as 80% of seniors now own a smartphone, up from 50% in 2015.

Longest Serving U.S. Congressman Dies

Former U.S. Congressman John David Dingell Jr., the longest-serving representative in U.S. history, passed away at the age of 92. Dingell passed away in a hospice in his hometown of Dearborn, Michigan. Dingell had suffered from a variety of health problems in recent years, including prostate cancer and pneumonia. He died with his longtime wife Debbie at his side, who had also replaced him in Congress following his retirement. “It is with a heavy heart that we announce the passing of John David Dingell, Jr., former Michigan congressman and longest-serving member of the United States Congress,” announced Debbie Dingell’s office last Thursday. “He will be remembered for his decades of public service to the people of Southeast Michigan, his razor-sharp wit, and a lifetime of dedication to improving the lives of all who walk this earth.” Known as “The Truck” for his

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The Week In News intense legislating style, Dingell had served in Congress for over 60 years, making him the longest serving representative in U.S. history. Dingell was first elected in 1959 – replacing his father who had retired – and served a total of 29-terms before retiring in 2015. Dingell distinguished himself for his work heading the House Energy Committee and his efforts to pass comprehensive health care reform. Among the bills he worked on were Medicare, the Civil Rights Act, the Clean Water and Clean Air acts, and the Endangered Species Act. After his retirement, he distinguished himself for the often-witty commentary he expressed on twitter to his 250,000 followers. The politico was eulogized by a slew of public figures and lawmakers, who described him as “an American icon” for his accomplishments in Congress. Dingell also was a veteran of World War II. He was supposed to take part in the first wave of a planned invasion into Japan in November 1945. Dingell used to say that President Truman’s decision to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki – effectively ending the war – saved his life.

Kind Thoughts Can Cure

When queried as to what improves the immune system, most doctors would recommend exercise, refraining from fatty foods, and avoiding alcohol. Thinking positive thoughts is not likely to make the list. Yet that’s precisely what a new study recommends. Researchers say that new evidence conclusively proves that thinking happy and optimistic thoughts can go a long way in assisting the human body to ward off diseases and keep itself healthy. The study was done by researchers at Oxford University and Exter University in Britain. As part of the experiment, 135 healthy adults were put

in five separate groups and listened to different instructions. During the experiment, the volunteers had their vital signs closely monitored, as well as their mental state of mind. Throughout the study, participants were asked how the felt, if they liked themselves, and if they had positive feelings about themselves. After the experiment concluded, the data showed that those listening to messages of high positivity and optimistic thoughts had a bodily reaction associated with relaxation and wellbeing. Meanwhile, other groups who did not view themselves positively showed signs of sweating and stress, including an increased heartbeat. The results were hailed by University of Exeter researcher Dr/ Anke Karl, who had coordinated the study, as conclusive proof that positive thoughts can play a role on shaping our physiological response. “Previous research has found that self-compassion was related to higher levels of wellbeing and better mental health, but we didn’t know why,” Karl said. “Our study is helping us understand the mechanism of how being kind to yourself when things go wrong

could be beneficial in psychological treatments. “By switching off our threat response, we boost our immune systems and give ourselves the best chance of healing,” added Karl. “We hope future research can use our method to investigate this in people with mental health problems such as recurrent depression.”

TN Clinic Bilks U.S. Military Out of $65M

A recent USA Today investigation detailed how an obscure Tennessee clinic coordinated a wide-scale fraud that bilked the U.S. military out of more than $65 million.

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The Week In News The scam was led by a team of doctors who got rich by prescribing scar cream to U.S. Marines who didn’t need it. While the cream commonly sells for $14 in major pharmacies, Choice MD clinic in Tennessee charged the U.S. Defense Department’s health insurance company Tricare $500 a bottle in conjunction with a corrupt pharmacy in Utah. The soldiers who ordered the cream got a kickback of the profits. The swindle was able to last as long as it did due to the fact that the cream was classified by Tricare as a compound medication, a medicine that isn’t controlled by a doctor but is covered by Tricare. Compounding is when pharmacist creates a cocktail of several different drugs in order to tailor it for a specific patient. Since no two cocktails are the same, compounded medicines are not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and can often go for exorbitant prices. The scam was uncovered by a curious private investigator who tipped off the U.S. government after hearing of the scheme. Candace Michelle Craven, a Choice MD nurse, has pleaded guilty to a slew of fraud counts while doctors Susan Vergot and Carl Lindblad pleaded guilty in April for conspiracy to commit health care fraud. Prosecutors said that the fraud was one of the most sophisticated cons they had come across. “It was just a setup to pay cash to patients and then turn around and prescribe them this expensive cream,” former U.S. attorney Jerry Martin noted. Martin, a nationally recognized expert in health care fraud, called the conspiracy “extraordinarily brazen.” “If these allegations are true, that is just a criminal enterprise,” Martin said. “There is just nothing legitimate about it.” The U.S. Department of Defense has launched multiple investigations across the United States in the wake of the findings of the case amid suspicions that others are perpetuating similar scams. Authorities say that they are probing allegations of Tricare fraud in California, Tennessee, and Mississippi.

Congresswoman Had to be “Educated” about Anti-Semitism Democratic Representative Ilhan Omar of Minnesota was forced to apologize after her tweets regarding Israel were outed as being anti-Semitic. The freshman congresswoman had caused a storm of controversy by tweeting, “It’s all about the Benjamins, baby,” in response to an article criticizing her anti-Israel stance, seemingly implying that Jews pay U.S. politicians to support Israel.

ple Democratic lawmakers gathered signatures calling for Omar to be punished. “As Jewish Members of Congress, we are deeply alarmed by recent rhetoric from certain members within our Caucus, including just last night, that has disparaged us and called into question our loyalty to our nation,” read the missive, which was penned by Reps. Josh Gottheimer (N.J.) and Elaine Luria (Va.). “We urge you to join us in calling on each member of our Caucus to unite against anti-Semitism and hateful tropes and stereotypes.”

Island for Sale

In a separate tweet, Omar suggested that it was “AIPAC” that was paying U.S. politicians to take pro-Israel positions, referring to the pro-Israel lobbying group – the American Israeli Public Affairs Committee. The congresswoman’s tweets caused bipartisan condemnation, with both Republican and Democrat lawmakers calling for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to boot her from the House Foreign Relations Committee as punishment. Omar’s resulting apology came amid steadily building backlash on Monday. “Anti-Semitism is real and I am grateful for Jewish colleagues and allies who are educating me on the painful history of anti-Semitic tropes,” said Omar in a statement. “My intentions were never to offend my constituents or the Jewish people are a whole.” Omar added, “We have to always be willing to step back and think through criticism, just as I expect people to hear me when others attack me for my identity.” Following her remarks, multi-

A gorgeous island is for sale in the United Arab Emirates, but before you reach for your wallet understand that it’s out of your budget – way out. The private 660-acre island is being offered for sale for a whopping £360 million. In defense of the astronomical price, the land boasts private beaches, five-star hotels, and stunning views of the Arabian Gulf. Al Marjan Island, which has gone on the market, is a collection of four man-made expanses in the northernmost of the United Arab Emirates, Ras Al Khaimah. Five-million square feet of land is full of clubs, hotels, and beachside resorts. The four islands – Dream Island, Breeze Island, Treasure Island and View Island – provide “breathtaking views” and a “naturally luxurious environment,” according to the property’s online listing. Foreign buyers who are attracted to the no income tax or foreign exchange controls are expected to snatch up the land. The islands, shaped in circles and corals, extend some 2.8 miles into the sea. The property listing boasts, “Set

against the picturesque backdrop of the Arabian Peninsula, and enclosed by the Yanis and Jais Mountains, Al Marjan Island is truly a luxury destination. “With sun, sand and sea all year round, Al Marjan welcomes residents and visitors from all over the world; and welcomes them to a landscape not only rich in luxury but luxurious in all things natural. “A collection of four pristine manmade islands, each island features luxurious hospitality and residential living throughout. The island offers complete leisure and entertainment opportunities that ensure children, adults, residents and tourists enjoy quality family time.” The listing boasts, “With waterfront homes, quality hotels and resorts, marinas, private beaches for residents, leisure, retail and recreational facilities, Al Marjan Island is a unique investment opportunity with high returns…. Simply, Al Marjan Island is a much sought-after destination for residents, tourists and investors. A place that will soon become a destination of choice for all.” Just wonder why they’re selling it if it’s paradise on earth.

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The Week In News “drink” their chips straight from the bag. The bag has a small opening at the top so you can chug your chips. Interestingly, the Wall Street Journal notes that the idea for the chips and the special packaging came from helping customers eat the potato chip crumbs that crumble to the bottom of

the bag. Whatever. In any case, One Hand Chips sounds a bit like the potato stix I’ve been forced to eat on Pesach since I was a child. And I didn’t grow up with an iPhone.

Saying I Do with a Donut Well, we talked about chips and then we talked about soda, so now it’s time to get to the main course: dough-

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

nuts. Last week, Dunkin’ took over a wedding chapel in Las Vegas and offered couples a chance to get hitched alongside their favorite treats. Sure Thing, a wedding chapel by Flora Pop, was decked out with Dunkin’-themed decorations and an Elvis officiant who invoked many coffee and doughnut references throughout the ceremony. “This ceremony we don’t say, ‘I do,’ we say, ‘I dough,’” the faux Elvis explained to a couple that was renewing their vows. The first hundred couples that enjoyed the sweet ceremony were given a bouquet made entirely out of doughnuts. The sugary bouquets took about a week to develop and at least five people were needed to create them.

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“What better way to say I love you than with a bouquet of doughnuts? We’re really excited to be here to help our fans … and many couples to get married or renew their vows,” Dunkin’ spokesman Justin Drake said. Josh and Penny James love the round confections. They were both wearing doughnut-themed outfits as they renewed their vows. This was the 18th time they were renewing their vows, and according to Josh, they plan on renewing their vows “around 130” times over the next few years. Well, if there’s doughnuts involved, that makes it, oh, so much sweeter.

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Torah Thought

Frame of Reference

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By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

Were one to guess which of the garments of the ‫כהן גדול‬, the High Priest, was the most significant, one would inevitably suggest the ‫חושן‬, the Breastplate. The Choshen was the vehicle by which Hashem communicated to His people with the miraculous lighting up of various letters etched on its twelve stones that transmitted responses to inquiries that were presented to it. Furthermore, the ‫אורים ותומים‬, a parchment that had the Ineffable Name written on it, was inserted into the folds of the Choshen. Yet the first in the order of directives to fashion these garments was the command to construct the Ephod. Why? Both these articles, aside from being joined to one another, shared a common aspect. On top of the shoulder straps that rose up from the Ephod were two gold settings that housed two ‫אבני שהם‬, Shoham Stones, that had the names of the twelve tribes etched onto them, six names on each one. The Choshen as well, had the names of the tribes engraved onto its twelve varied precious stones, one tribe per gem. The purpose of the names appearing on the Ephod, was to serve in the capacity of ‫אבני זכרן לבני ישראל (שמות‬ )‫כח יב‬, remembrance stones for the Children of Israel. The goal of the names appearing on the ‫ חושן‬was to affect ‫לזכרן לפני‬ )‫ד' תמיד (שם שם כט‬, as a constant re-

membrance before Hashem. Why do we need two sets of stones embodying the same principle? We are all familiar with the episode when the wife of Potiphar desperately attempted to seduce Yosef HaTzaddik. The Talmud ):‫(סוטה לו‬ reports how at that moment of truth, Yaakov Avinu appeared to Yosef in a ‫חלון‬, a ‘window’, and questioned Yosef whether he was prepared to have his name erased from the stones of the Ephod as a consequence for his succumbing to temptation. Yoseph withheld himself and forever became identified with this display of spiritual strength in resisting sin. Why was Yosef threatened specifically regarding his name, that was etched together with his brothers on the stones of the Ephod, being erased, and not more significantly about his name being removed from his very own stone on the Choshen? There seems to be an added factor in the relationship between Yoseph and the Ephod as evidenced in the fact that Yosef’s unique stone on the Choshen was the Shoham stone and the two stones of the Ephod were also fashioned from Shoham. The Talmud ):‫ (זבחים פח‬states that the wearing of each of the garments by the Kohen Gadol affect an atonement for various sins. The Ephod we are told expiates the sin of ‫הרהורי עבודה‬ ‫זרה‬, idolatrous thoughts. How so? In addition, we may ask, how is Yosef specifically identified with the

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Ephod, which atones for idolatry, when his encounter with sin was one of physical temptation? The Midrash )‫ (ב"ר צו ג‬tells how when finally meeting Yosef, Yaakov remarks how much greater Yosef was than he. Yosef faced so many challenges and remained righteous and faithful, yet, Yaakov confesses, he himself responded to his tests often in exasperation saying '‫נסתרה דרכי מד‬ )‫(ישעיה מ‬, my ways are concealed from Hashem. The commentary Matnos Kehuna wonders how indeed did Yaakov know that Yosef never questioned G-d? He answers that upon seeing Yosef’s unusual successes he surmised it must have been due to his steadfast faith. The Alter of Nevardok questions this premise by suggesting that perhaps it was in the merit of his resistance to the power of seduction that made him worthy of his success? The Alter makes a profound observation in resolving this dilemma. Yaakov knew that one who questions G-d’s involvement in his life could never conjure up the power within himself to resist physical desire. A person who doubts Hashem’s constant loving involvement will remain with complaints against G-d. One who is critical of G-d will never find solace in serving Him and will inevitably pursue indulgence as his only source of satisfaction in life. Yaakov was therefore certain that it was Yosef’s unshakable faith that enabled him to fight off desire and ultimately achieve the successes he did. There is a glaring difference between the function of the stones of the Ephod that are described as ‫אבני זכרן‬ )‫לבני ישראל (שמות כח יב‬, remembrance stones for the Children of Israel, and the stones of the Choshen, that are termed )‫לזכרן לפני ד' תמיד (שם שם כט‬, as a constant remembrance before Hashem. The names on the shoulders of the Kohen Gadol prod us to be ever cog-

nizant of Hashem; a remembrance for the Children of Israel. The result of that will be Hashem remembering us when He sees the names on the stones of the Ephod, ‫ ;לזכרן לפני ד' תמיד‬as a constant remembrance before Hashem. The Midrash Talpiyot, as quoted by Rabeinu Bechaye, teaches that '‫'שהם‬, the gemstone associated with Yosef, has the same letters as '‫'השם‬, extolling the Torah’s testament to Yosef, '‫ויהי ד‬ )‫את יוסף ויהי איש מצליח (בראשית לט ב‬, Hashem was with Yosef, and he became a successful man. Yosef had a keen ability to reframe every challenge as a message from Hashem prodding him towards greatness. Never complaining, always rising to his tests with utter faith. This is the ‫חלון‬, the window, that gives him a real perspective. The gematria of ‫ חלון‬, adding one for itself )‫(כולל‬, is 95, equaling,‫ אפוד‬, plus its letters! Of all the garments the exact details of the Ephod are the most elusive. Rashi states that he found no tradition or sources in identifying its exact form. He finally concludes uncharacteristically, ‫לבי אומר לי‬, my heart tells me, it is like the riding aprons worn by women of nobility when horseback riding. )‫(כח ד‬ The great Tzaddik, Reb Yechiel Meir of Gustinin posits that when Rashi, who heeded his eyes with extraordinary vigilance, came across women riding horses, he immediately ‘reframed’ what might otherwise have been an inappropriate moment into an opportunity to learn Torah. May we always remember our roles before Hashem, and realize how kindly Hashem looks down upon us, providing us with many prospects to encounter Him! It all depends what our eyes perceive in each of those opportunities. If we frame each moment with a consciousness of Hashem it will no doubt engender His remembrance and deliverance of us.

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

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Torah Thought

Parshas Tetzaveh By Rabbi Berel Wein

he concept of an eternal light in a place of worship is an ancient one derived from the opening section of this week’s reading of the Torah. The eternal light represents the unquenchable spirit and resilience of the eternal soul that the L-rd has implanted within human beings. Human life can be taken

away but the spirit of life, which is so unique to human beings, seems never to disappear. In this week’s reading of the Torah, we learn that the eternal light must be attended to and nurtured. It requires preparation of the fuel and the kindling of that eternal light by human beings, in this case, the de-

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scendants of Aaron. There was an eternal flame that existed on the altar in the Tabernacle and in the holy Temple. That flame existed and was kept alive permanently by a miracle of G-d. It existed during the entire time of the first Temple but was one of the miracles that no longer reappeared in the times of the Second Temple and thereafter. But the eternal light that was to be lit and maintained on the great candelabra in the building of the Temple was not to be miraculously so endowed. This light required constant human attention and participation. From this we may derive that

spiritual or familial in nature, we rely heavily on miracles that will sustain us and allow us to escape from our difficulties. Regarding our personal lives, our profession, and our politics, we feel that these areas of human life are totally within our ability and purview to control and shape. However, the Torah teaches us that both forms of eternal light, the miraculous and the one that requires human effort and attention, are with us always. That is why in the Tabernacle, and later in the first Temple itself, the eternal light was represented at one and the same time and in the same place. Miracles do happen, and

The old adage that G-d helps those who help themselves is also valid and true.

there are two forms of eternity in human affairs and history. One is of purely divine origin, miraculous and wondrous, which operates completely independent from human efforts, ordinary laws and rules of nature. The other path of eternity, represented by the likes of the candelabra, is wholly dependent on human participation, care and attention. Human beings often confuse these two types of eternal light. When it comes to certain matters, mainly

the guiding Hand of the Eternal One is evident throughout the history of the Jews. But the old adage that G-d helps those who help themselves is also valid and true. The eternal flame is to be lit by human beings who prepare the fuel and kindle a light through human effort and care. It is this combination of the forces of eternity that unite and guarantee that the light of Israel will never be extinguished. Shabbat shalom.

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March Tuesday Adar I 7

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Uniting Women Worldwide; Geula Event 7:30-10pm @Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah see page 3

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My Israel Home

Combating Illegal Construction

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

By Gedaliah Borvick

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

ver since the founding of the State of Israel, the country has been in growth mode. Despite the seemingly endless construction nationwide – the joke is that Israel’s national bird is the “crane” – Israel has a shortage of over 100,000 apartments due to the country’s expanding population. Thankfully, a few years ago the Israeli government implemented new systems to expedite its antiquated rezoning and permitting process. Now that the accelerated program is up and running, the government has taken the next step and, on December 20, 2018, implemented new laws to combat illegal construction.

– to complete. Upon conclusion of the suit, the violator would only be penalized up to 15,000 NIS (under $4,000), a mere slap on the wrist. Understandably, it didn’t pay for the government to act, due to the length of litigation and the paltry penalty sums. The only issue that gave buyers pause was financing: the conser-

government has computerized the building permit process, the building process has been moved online, and it now takes significantly less time to receive building permits. In addition, new regulations have been implemented to make enforcement easier. For example, the municipalities can bypass the court system to mete out penalties – to

The joke is that Israel’s national bird is the “crane”

Background For many years, Israel’s rezoning and development process was truly arduous, and builders would endure a lengthy bureaucratic process to obtain building permits. Because it was so challenging, homeowners who wanted to expand their homes – such as enclosing balconies – usually nixed the drawn-out application process and illegally added the space. The government lacked the manpower to enforce the laws to curb this illegal activity and, in the few times that the government decided to sue the property owners, the lawsuits took years – sometimes even decades

vative banking industry limited mortgage amounts to the value of the property’s legal space, and the illegal space would not be attributed financial value. This constraint occasionally motivated owners to legalize the space, but the deep-pocketed purchasers who did not require financing were understandably less affected.

New Systems Over the past few years, as the

both the builder of the illegal space as well as the apartment owner – and the penalties are large: a 1,400 NIS daily fine for up to 90 days, plus up to 300,000 NIS, depending on the amount of space illegally constructed.

What It Means for You Before buying a home in Israel, you must do your homework to ensure that the property has no illegalities. Your attorney should retain

the services of a zoning and building permits professional to review the building plans and permits and confirm that the existing space is legal. If there are illegalities, you must ascertain whether they can be legalized and their accompanying cost. If it cannot be legalized, then your attorney needs to determine how the illegality is expected to be perceived by the municipality: as an acceptable annoyance or as a major irregularity that is subject to a fine, and what the potential liability is. By investigating thoroughly, you will be armed with the knowledge necessary to make sound legal and business decisions prior to purchasing your apartment. Disclaimer: This article was meant for informational purposes only and should not be construed to come in place of using legal counsel and hiring professionals to carry out all due diligence, including reviewing all legal and planning issues, prior to purchasing an apartment. Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home (www.myisraelhome.com), a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy and sell homes in Israel. To sign up for his monthly market updates, contact him at gborvick@ gmail.com.

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Friendships and the Early Years of Life

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By Hylton I. Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

n the cuteness scale of 1-10, it’s a 12. I’m talking about watching toddlers and small children play together. Or two children are on the same mat, each doing his own thing. It’s a delight to behold. These friendships and relationships are an important part of a child’s development. They are so important that they can impact (negatively and/or positively) a child’s psycho-social development and have reverberating implications for future development. Studies show that attributes such as social confidence, altruism, self-esteem and self-confidence are positively correlated to having friends. It is human nature for people to want to attach to other people. This is a universal concept and is not gender specific. Let’s start by saying most children and adolescents have the one proverbial “best friend” and several “good friends.” Infants and toddlers also have friends but their relationships are not as differentiated as older children’s. They have regular playmates and play harmoniously. For the most part. As much as you may see the playdate as a time for kids push-

ing mini-strollers and playing with blocks with likeminded friends, the reality is this social time for young children is also an arena for experimenting and learning. They don’t interact the way teenagers do, let alone how we adults relate. Often, they will bang on the table. But even when they are playing side-by-side with different toys, they are eyeballing and even mimicking one another. This is the beginning of friendship. Children between the ages of 18 months to 2 years playing together display cavemen-like qualities. One moment, they can be sharing a toy and it’s completely peaceful. In the next moment, one could be bopping the other on the head with the same toy. Please don’t expect empathy at this age. Forget about social graces like apologizing and sharing. There’s no way you can expect 2-year old Sima to stop, pause, scratch her head, and think, “Wow. Shlomo is playing with a truck that I really like. I’m going to sit and wait patiently until he is finished.” The more likely scenario is Sima will see a toy in Shlomo’s hands and she needs that toy NOW. She will then charge ahead and grab that toy from Shlomo. It is well within the realm of possibility that she will push

and shove until she gets what she wants. And the “perpetrator” does not have anger management issues. She’s simply 2 years old. The challenge is heightened because toddlers have short attention spans. Don’t let me hear you even suggest that Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Hyperactivity Deficit Disorder (ADHD) is an issue at this stage and then ask for medication. Toddlers have short, and even nonexistent, attention spans. Period. It’s normal. How can you, Mommy and Tatty, facilitate playdates for your toddler to aim for a “win-win”? Timing is essential. Make sure the two toddlers have napped, have clean diapers, and are not hungry. Limit the number of participants to two; two-year-olds should play in groups of two children only. Get it? Less is more. Also, try having similar toys so when one is fixated on his toy and the other eyeballs it, Ima or Daddy can swoop right in and give the other a similar toy. This will minimize the occurrence of meltdowns. Speaking of parents, it is nice to sit by and chitchat while the playdate is in progress. You may even glance (occasionally) at your phone or iPad.

Honestly, though, you have work here. You can minimize the squabbles with “toy intervention.” See the paragraph above. Sometimes, you need to guide them from one activity to the next. Reading to your little ones a book or two is almost always calming and welcoming. Sometimes, the playdate may last only 30 minutes. That’s okay. The scenario changes when 2-3-year-olds play together. First, you can see the beginnings of empathy. If a child gets hurt, G-d forbid, the other child will want to make him feel better. These feelings are usually innate in children. Also, a two-year old begins to grasp what sharing is about. He might not be capable of it but watch him charm his 5-year-old sibling into sharing. At a minimum, he will talk about the concept of sharing. Older toddlers begin to express an affinity and even affection for specific peers within their social universe and will gravitate towards them. It might be based on shared interests. Often, there is a genuine like between the two young buddies. When two buddies hit it off, it’s not uncommon for them to find their own space and spend lots of time there, building and creating whatever. Pa-

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42 rental supervision is still required. Once you know that your young child has a friend or two, it is time to have playdates between the homes. Your child should feel secure in the other home as the other child should feel safe in your home. Parental supervision is still required. Expending physical energy is an important part of getting together. Creating something like art projects is also an important outlet. And a great time to bond. At this stage, it is vital that parents spend time with children discussing feelings. Encourage them to take others’ feelings into account and listen to others. Sensitivity to other people and their feelings can never be underscored enough. This can be supported by organizing opportunities for your children to meet many people. As your children moved into elementary school, help your children to develop their own interests. Piano. Painting. Martial arts. Violin.

Dance. You get it. Choosing friends who share similar interests is a good thing. Do you have a child who is shy and does not know how to connect with people outside the family? Role

of friendships. Never let your pain, Mommy and Tatty, become his pain. Respect your child’s personality when it comes to friendships. Some need to be in the thick of things, surrounded by scores of people. Others

Respect your child’s personality when it comes to friendships.

play with them, discreetly, of course. And let them see how you navigate friendships. What if your child and his buddy fight or have a falling out? Focus on what your child is feeling and help him to process those feelings. Impart advice about the ups-and-downs

need just two or three good friends. There is no one digital footprint for all child in this area. A word about sharing. We all know the adage, “When we share, we show we care.” It’s true. But there is more to this. Not all children want to share, and that’s okay. Here’s an

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example. Your five-year-old has a toy that your niece wants to play with or “borrow.” Encourage your five-yearold to share. However, if he resists, respect it. Unless you guarantee him that his toy will be returned in the condition in which it was “lent,” and if not, you will replace it, leave it alone. He has his worldly possessions, and that is it. Helping your child to navigate friendships is not always an easy task. It requires time, patience and the fortitude to know when to step in and when to be more quiet. Separating from your own issues is essential. But always maintain that bond with your child. As always, daven.

Dr. Hylton I. Lightman is a pediatrician and Medical Director of Total Family Care of the 5 Towns and Rockaway PC. He can be reached at drlightman@totalfamilycaremd.com, on Instagram at Dr.Lightman_ or visit him on Facebook.

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Presidential Facts John Adams (1797-1801) was the first president to live in the White House. Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809) had a fear of public speaking and only delivered two speeches during his presidency, although he often delivered letters in lieu of speeches. James Madison (1809-1817) was the smallest president. He was 5’4” and weighed under 100 lbs. A former tailor, Andrew Jackson (1829-1837), tailored his own suits while president. Martin Van Buren (1837-1841) was the first president born an American citizen. John Tyler (1841-1845) had 15 children.

Warren Harding (1921-1923) once gambled away a set of White House china.

Riddle me this?

?? ?

Name 5 U.S. presidents whose last names only have 4 letters. See answer below

Abraham Lincoln (1861-1865) was the first president to ever be photographed at his inauguration. In the photo, he is standing near John Wilkes Booth, his future assassin. Rutherford B. Hayes (1877-1881) was the first president to have a phone in the White House. His telephone number was “1.” Theodore Roosevelt (1901-1909) was the youngest person to ever become president, at age 42, when he succeeded William McKinley, who was assassinated. William Taft (19091913) weighed over 330 pounds and often got stuck in the White House bathtub. His advisors would have to pull him out. George Herbert Walker Bush (1989-1993) is the only president with four names.

Answer to Riddle Me This: William H. Taft, James Polk, Gerald Ford, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush.

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James Buchanan (1857-1861) never got married.

William Henry Harrison (1841) was inaugurated on a cold and wet day. He wore neither an overcoat nor hat, rode on horseback to the ceremony rather than in the closed carriage that had been offered him, and delivered the longest inaugural address in American history, speaking for nearly two hours. Unfortunately, he contracted pneumonia and died 31 days after taking office.

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c. He was a general in the Confederate army d. He ran a gun range 3. After shooting Lincoln, Booth jumped from the Presidential Box onto the stage and shouted something. What was it?

b. “Sic semper tyrannis!” c. “Revenge of the South!” d. “The devil has departed!” 4. Which of the following is true about Lincoln? a. He was the first president with a beard. b. Lincoln invented a device to free steamboats that ran aground and patented it, making him the only president to

d. He gave drama lessons to the Lincoln children 6. What federal agency did Lincoln establish on April 14, 1865, the day he was shot? a. Internal Revenue Service b. The Secret Service c. Environmental Protection Agency d. Department of Energy 7. How many elections did Lincoln lose before becoming president? a. 1 b. 2 c. 3 d. 4 e. 5

 Wisdom Key 5-7 correct: Four score and seven years from now they will still be talking about your immense knowledge of Lincoln. 3-4 correct: You are right in the middle - you probably would have stayed out of the Civil War. 0-2 correct: Who do you consider to have been the 16th president? Jefferson Davis? (Never mind, that probably went right over your head...go back to your video games. You know, if Lincoln’s log cabin only had PlayStation maybe he would have made something of his life.

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a. “The war shall continue!”

c. He was married to Lincoln’s cousin

1) A

b. He was a senator

b. He was the official White House entertainment advisor

2) A- Booth was a well-known actor. In fact, Lincoln watched Booth perform in numerous plays, including one called “The Marble Heart” at Ford’s Theater on November 9, 1863. According to the book, Lincoln’s Sanctuary: Abraham Lincoln and the Soldiers’ Home, Lincoln enjoyed Booth’s performance so much he sent a note backstage inviting him to the White House so they could meet. Booth, a rebel sympathizer and Confederate spy, evaded the president’s invitation.

a. He was an actor

a. He saved the president’s son, Robert, from falling off of a moving train one year before Lincoln was assassinated

3) B- Although it was initially unclear what he said, the consensus is that he shouted, “Sic semper tyrannis!” This is a Latin phrase that means “thus always to tyrants.” He is also said to have shouted, “The South is avenged!” in English. Booth managed to make his way to an alley in back of the theater where a horse was waiting for him and made his escape.

2. What did Lincoln’s killer, John Wilkes Booth, do for a living?

5. John Wilkes Booth’s brother, Edwin, was also a famous actor. What interaction did he have with the Lincoln family before his brother killed the president?

4) E

d. To draw raffle tickets when children came to visit him in the White House

e. All of the above

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c. To stand on when he gave campaign speeches

d. He battled depression for much of his life.

5) A- Edwin Booth saved the life of Lincoln’s eldest son, Robert Todd Lincoln, one year before Lincoln’s assassination. It happened when Robert and Edwin Booth happened to board a train at the same station and Robert lost his footing once the train started moving. According to Robert Lincoln, Edwin Booth grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back to his feet. Robert Todd Lincoln recognized the famous actor and thanked him for his efforts. He also wrote and spoke about the incident on several occasions before his father’s assassination.

b. To roast marshmallows

c. He kept important documents in his hat.

6) B- Although it sounds ridiculously ironic that the Lincoln created the Secret Service on the day he was assassinated, the truth is that at that time the Secret Service’s mission was solely to investigate crimes related to the Treasury, such as counterfeiting. Shortly after the assassination of William McKinley in 1901, the Secret Service assumed full-time responsibility for protection of the president.

a. To store letters and papers in it

 Answers

have a patent.

7) E-Lincoln lost his first race for the Illinois General Assembly in 1832. He had gone on to lose a race for the U.S. Congress, two races for the U.S. Senate, and one campaign for a vice-presidential nomination.

1. Aside for wearing it on his head, what else did President Lincoln often use his stovetop hat for?

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Honest Abe Trivia

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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El Paso is one of the safest cities in the United States of America – safe not because of walls, but in spite of walls. - Presidential hopeful Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke (D-TX), at an anti-wall rally in El Paso

Walls do not save lives; walls end lives. - Ibid.

I don’t think there’ll be a report. I will be shocked if anything regarding the president is made public, other than “we’re done.” - Former Trump lawyer John Dowd, in an ABC podcast about the Mueller probe

I think it has something to do with what Donald Trump has unleashed. - Princeton professor Eddie Glaude Jr. on NBC, blaming President Trump for Virginia Governor Ralph Northam posing in blackface 34 years ago

I know exactly what [Mueller] has. I know exactly what every witness said, what every document said. I know exactly what he asked. And I know what the conclusion or the result is. There’s no basis. There’s no exposure. It’s been a terrible waste of time. - Ibid.

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Men turn out to be a problem. There’s a lot of male bad behavior. Maybe we should have only women leading our states. - New York Times columnist David Brooks on PBS’s “NewsHour,” during a discussion about the Virginia governor’s blackface scandal and the Virginia lieutenant governor’s (both Democrats) harassment of women scandal

Blackface is bad. Orangeface is worse. - From an op-ed in USA Today arguing that Virginia Governor Ralph Northam should not resign because it may result in Republicans gaining power which would help President Trump

Today Elizabeth Warren, sometimes referred to by me as Pocahontas, joined the race for President. Will she run as our first Native American presidential candidate, or has she decided that after 32 years, this is not playing so well anymore? See you on the campaign TRAIL, Liz! - Tweet by President Trump, referencing the Trail of Tears, after Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) declared that she is running for president

It’s been an absolute honor and a pleasure and honor – and I mean that – to represent Joaquin Guzman. - Defense attorney Jeffrey Lichtman after notorious drug king-pin El Chapo Guzman was found guilty in federal court on all charges

The special counsel’s team I’m sure has so much more information. Everybody should take a step back and breathe and not make any conclusions about whether or not there was a criminal conspiracy… I am confident [Mueller] has had access to a lot more than the Senate or the House Intelligence Committees. - Former CIA Director and Trump critic John Brennan on MSNBC trying to calm down his fellow Trump haters after it was widely reported that the Senate Intelligence Committee has found no direct evidence of Trump/Russia collusion

Heaven has a wall, a gate and a strict immigration policy. [The other thing] has open borders. Let that sink in. - The message posted on an Arkansas grocery store chain Mac’s Fresh Market’s weekly circular in the top corner, where every week an inspirational quote is written

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48 We set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast. - Verbatim from the FAQ section of Rep. Alexandria OcasioCortez’s (Dem/Socialist- NY) Green New Deal which calls for the end of cows and airports in order to save the environment

Economic security for all who are unable or unwilling to work. - Ibid., explaining the reason behind the economic policies of the Green New Deal

Upgrade or replace every building in U.S. for state-of-the-art energy efficiency. - One of the proposals of the Green New Deal

It sounds like a high school term paper that got a low mark…. It would shut down a little thing called air travel. How do you take a train to Europe? - President Trump commenting on Rep. Ocasio-Cortez’s Green New Deal

It does. It does. Yeah, I have no problem saying that. Why? Because we have tried their approach for 40 years.

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- Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Dem/Socialist- NY) when asked on NPR if her Green New Deal would necessitate “massive government intervention”

There is a couple things. One is that I think one way that the right does try to mischaracterize what we’re doing is as though it is like some kind of massive government takeover. Well, obviously what we’re trying to do, obviously it’s not that because what we’re trying to do is release the investments from the federal government to mobilize those resources across the country.

To see this at the UN was a fight every day. This CANNOT be tolerated in our own Congress by anyone of either party. In a time of increased anti-Semitism, we all must be held to account. No excuses. - Tweet by Former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley condemning Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) for her anti-Semitic twitter tirade over the weekend in which she claimed that AIPAC pays off members of Congress to be pro-Israel

Anti-Semitism has no place in the United States Congress. I think she should either resign from Congress or she should certainly resign from the foreign affairs committee. - President Trump condemning Rep. Omar’s Jew-hating statements

The Westminster Dog Show is going on now and the winner will be declared tomorrow night – as long as nobody finds old tweets. – Seth Myers

- Ibid., several hours later on MSNBC

I think it is very important for the Democrats to press forward with their Green New Deal. It would be great for the so-called “Carbon Footprint” to permanently eliminate all Planes, Cars, Cows, Oil, Gas & the Military – even if no other country would do the same. Brilliant! - Tweet by President Trump

Hey @CoryBooker I support PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals. @BeefUSA#WyomingBeefCountry. – Tweet by Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) in response to Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) saying that the Earth “can’t sustain” people eating meat

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Henry A. Jaume, Sr., age 65, passed away on Sunday, February 3, 2019, at 1:00 PM determined not to watch Super Bowl LIII. - Obituary published in the New Orleans Advocate about a lifelong Saints fan, who, like other Saints fans, was angry about the blown call that kept the Saints out of the Super Bowl this year

– Opening sentence of an AP article about the arrest of the terrorist who brutally murdered Ori Ansbacher

I think that it gives a lot of people joy and we need more joy. - Presidential hopeful Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) when asked during a radio interview if she is in favor of legalizing marijuana, in an answer which highlights how many are ignorant of the distinction between joy and self-destructive indulgence

We never know if the government will resume the death penalty, but we want to hire two hangmen to fill vacancies and be ready if the government wants to execute drug traffickers.

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Israeli police said Saturday they arrested a Palestinian suspect in the killing of an Israeli teenager, as thousands of people in Gaza buried two Palestinian teenagers killed by Israeli fire a day earlier in protests along the perimeter fence.

- A spokesman for the Philippines prison service explaining to Reuters why the government recently placed employment ads in local newspapers looking for executioners with “excellent moral character” and “mental strength”

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Health & F tness

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

How to Approach Shabbos the Healthy Way

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Side Dishes By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

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hen it comes to side dishes for Shabbos meals, think beyond the traditional favorites. Sure, the symbolic foods of a Shabbos meal include potato kugel, farfel, lokshen kugel, and deli roll, but however good they may be, they are not the best choices for your Shabbos side dishes. These foods are high in calories and low in nutritional value. Especially at this point in your meal, you can afford to spare all of these extra calories. Side dishes at a Shabbos meal can be tricky. By the time you are up to the main course, you most probably had your allotted starches, proteins and most definitely fat for the meal. Essentially, your only allowance is vegetables. You might have some wiggle room for starches if you ate mindfully prior to the main course. Therefore, my recommendation is to stick to vegetables as side dishes. During the week, where you have more leeway, you can stretch your dishes to be more creative, however, at a Shabbos meal where already used up your starches and fats and will most probably be hitting the

caloric bar, your best bet is to stick with veggies. When I say vegetables, I mean all types and every type. Your vegetables can be made from fresh or frozen vegetables. You can eat them raw, cooked, roasted, broiled, grilled – however you

ories. Eating vegetables are essentially freebies. By cutting out the kugels and carbs as side dishes, you are not only saving yourself extra calories, but by eating the vegetables you are actually gaining (not weight hopefully). You’re getting antioxidants and other benefits,

If you’re making broccoli or spinach kugel, don’t think it’s “healthy” because the main ingredient is a vegetable.

like – but not in a kugel. That completely defeats the purpose. Yes, there are some kugels that can be made healthier than others, and we’ll get to that later. Why do I stress the importance of eating vegetables as a side dish? Not only do vegetables offer nutrients, vitamins, and minerals, they are low in cal-

while filling up at the same time. My suggestion is to serve cooked/ roasted vegetables on Friday night since they are better when hot. One great way of preparing vegetables that is so versatile and easy is grilled vegetables. Grilled vegetables are a classic. If you don’t favor one vegetable, try an-

other. Try peppers, zucchini, eggplant, onions, mushrooms…you name it! I like grilling portobello mushrooms. Marinate mushrooms in balsamic vinegar, olive oil, garlic, mustard and fresh herbs for about 30 minutes at room temperature. Grill mushrooms for about 5 minutes on each side. Serve with tomato, onion slices, and lettuce. Or cook mushrooms with wine, olive oil, and spices. Another great idea is to baste vegetables such as red peppers, eggplant, summer squash, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms or onions with olive oil and season with herbs and grill them. Other types of veggies aside from the traditional ones include asparagus, Brussel sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli, green beans, roasted root vegetables, eggplant, cooked zucchini, lecho, and carrots. These can all be made with a simple, quick recipe of throwing on salt, pepper, garlic, olive oil, and roasting in the oven at 400ºF until ready. For Shabbos lunch, the number one side dish is a salad. Everyone will appreciate a salad. If you want to make it more fun, make a variety of small sal-

51 stead of white flour. Instead of sugar, use honey or even a sprinkle of cinnamon. I advise making individualized small kugels either in muffin tins or small ramekins so that your portion size is controlled. One piece of kugel would be considered your starch and some fat (depending on the type of kugel) for that meal. At this point you are so full, who could even think of dessert? For those who always have room for dessert, read the next installment in this series to learn about some of the best options for dessert.

ble. Yes, the broccoli or spinach alone is healthy, but when mixed with oil, flour, mayonnaise, and eggs, the healthy part fades away. As mentioned above, use less oil, light mayonnaise instead of real mayonnaise, and egg whites. Try almond flour or whole wheat flour in-

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If you insist on the kugels, make substitutions. For potato kugel, cut back on the oil or, even better, use coconut oil. Use egg whites instead of whole eggs. If you’re making broccoli or spinach kugel, don’t think it’s “healthy” because the main ingredient is a vegeta-

Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant. She can be reached at CindyWeinberger1@gmail.com.

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ads. Start with a traditional vegetable salad (you can add in grilled chicken or turkey and use this as your complete meal). Others might enjoy a crunchy cabbage salad too. Spinach salad is another great option. Kale and arugula are very trendy as well. Trust me, you won’t be hungry. If you’re having guests and you want to make foods that are healthy that you can enjoy too, make an array of salads – as if you are at a shawarma salad bar. Your guests will absolutely love this. Prepare a carrot salad, a beet salad, cucumber salad, tomato salad, three-bean salad, pickled vegetables, Israeli salad, guacamole… any salad that comes to mind that does not contain a mayonnaise-based dressing. If you need a starchy side dish, go for a quinoa salad, quinoa patties, whole wheat noodles with cabbage, brown rice, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, corn on the cob, whole wheat linguini salad, or whole wheat angel hair pasta salad – these are basically a starchy vegetable or a whole grain starch.

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I’ve been dating Cynthia for the past few months. We’re together a lot, and I’m seeing her in various situations. What I’ve noticed, which is really disturbing to me, is that she talks one way to her parents and siblings and talks completely differently to me and her friends. I didn’t notice this at first, but I think once she got comfortable with me, I was able to see her true essence.

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In other words, let’s say we are out on a date and her mother calls, she’ll pick up the phone with an almost exasperated tone and she’ll say something like, “What is it?” with a frustrated, “you’re annoying me” type of edge to her voice. Five minutes later, a friend of hers might call and she’ll pick up the phone sounding completely different, all perky and excited to hear from her. It’s almost like two different people are answering the phone. By the way, so that none of the panelists get distracted over this part of it, Cynthia didn’t keep her phone on when we first started dating. But at this point, after we’ve been dating for a while, we’re together a lot and she does answer the phone, which I think is fine and hardly the issue. I mentioned this to my mother, because I found it very confusing, and my mother took it as a red flag. Her opinion is that if I marry Cynthia, someday I can expect her to use the same tone with me that she uses with all her family members. And that now, since I’m not yet a family member, she’s on her best behavior and puts on her “friend voice.” Does this make any sense? Is this a red flag? I come from a family of respectful individuals, where people talk just as politely to family members as they do to friends and strangers and that’s the way I expect my married life to be. Should I assume that Cynthia doesn’t value respect in the same way that I do and move on, despite the fact that we do share many interests and goals and usually have a great time together?

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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at c i t y wi n ery d c

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. agree with Mom. Communicating politely to friends and a dating partner and not very pleasantly to family and strangers is a red flag. It indicates lack of respect and bad middos. One of the important reasons people date for a long time is to discover different layers of the person and how they deal with daily and occasional stresses and problems. It’s easy to be on your best behavior and focus on the other person you are trying to impress when you go out together one on one. That’s why being in different social, group and dating situations (casual, formal, outdoors, indoors, etc.) where you encounter all kinds of people and

waits, accidents, and challenges together is very helpful. Unpredictable settings and contexts allow a person’s values, behaviors and coping strategies to emerge. I am confused, however, by your confusion. Discussing it with your mother was helpful but I think you need to sort yourself out with some help. Becoming comfortable with someone during the course of dating and sharing interests and goals can be pleasant. But you need to look beyond that to see if you not only share aspirations and hobbies but can give each other respect and emotional support. You need to explore your own weaknesses as well and see if your potential spouse has the attributes you need to help you when you are facing issues and challenges. In other words, in the other person’s

character there needs to be both subjective qualities that relate to you as an individual and also universal qualities that you value. You have to figure those out with some help. Meanwhile, say goodbye to Cynthia politely without telling her that she has bad middos. You can do it.

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. ed flag? Siren is more like it. Get this straight. Yours is not a question of phone etiquette. It smacks of glaring chutzpah. The reason your mother (and all the moms sitting on the sidelines) find Cynthia’s behavior cringe-worthy is that she is guilty of

Unpredictable settings and contexts allow a person’s values, behaviors and coping strategies to emerge. wonton disrespect – a violation of kibbud aim, hakoras hatov, kavod habriyos and simple menschlichkeit. I, as a card-carrying member of MABB (Mothers-Against-Bratty-Behavior), have zero tolerance for impertinent, chutzpah-dik behavior by children towards the parents who funded

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

The Shadchan

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

If you marry Cynthia, there is a very good chance that you will become her replacement punchbag. Red flag? Absolutely. She may be a rude and disrespectful family member because her family has treated her unfairly or unkindly. Or she may be a brat, and her family doesn’t deserve this treatment. Whatever the case, this is how Cynthia interacts with family. It is Cynthia’s decision to treat them this way. Cynthia doesn’t even have the self-awareness that something may be wrong with her behavior because she does it in front of you. Does she ever express embarrassment or remorse? Does she seem ashamed of herself or apologize after you’ve witnessed the interaction? Has she taken the time after an intense

phone c onver sation with a family member to offer you information about the relationship? Has she apologized for making you feel uncomfortable during these phone calls? From what you’ve described in your email, it seems as though Cynthia likes Cynthia’s behavior. She’s OK with it. Could Cynthia change? Yes, if Cynthia thinks she has a problem and wants to deal with it. This kind of change is not simple. It often is the work of a lifetime. The choice is yours. Marrying Cynthia is a gamble, and the stakes are high. I am glad that you have a very sensible mother whose guidance

Tova Wein here are two styles of behavior when it comes to how a person treats their family, beginning with parents, siblings, and eventually their spouse and children. Some people show tremendous respect toward family members – in fact, maybe even more respect than they do toward strangers or friends because they understand that family is the most important people in their life and they deserve the same level of kindness, if not more, than anyone else. They would never take them for granted, act dismissively, name-call, shame or engage in any other hurtful behaviors. It sounds as

you sought. I am using your letter and my response as an opportunity to plead with people to slow down when they are dating. You cannot know someone after two handfuls of dates. Take your time. See them in different settings. Pay attention to the way they interact with others, as this wonderful writer did. In my experience as a therapist and a person in the world, bad behaviors usually intensify (though not always) once married. Things that people were positive would go away once married typically become greater. If you really don’t like a trait in the person you are dating, you better be 100% sure that you can live with it for the rest of your life. Because the odds are, it ain’t goin’ anywhere. All the best, Jennifer

though this is the type of family that you come from and, subsequently, the type of family-life you hope to someday create for yourself. There are other families who believe that they don’t have to watch their “p’s and q’s” around family members – assuming that they are here to say and therefore they don’t have to impress them or get too hung up on respect, probably because they believe that no one is going anywhere. Friends, on the other hand, require much better treatment because no one is holding them in the relationship and they are free to bolt if they are not treated well. It looks to me like it should be very clear to you whether or not Cynthia is the type of person who understands the world you come from and is capable of acting accordingly. Obviously, because you have such a great time together, it was easy for you to go into denial mode, ignoring the obvious red flag. But a part of you knows better, which is why you checked in with your mother. And, certainly in this case, mother knows best!

P.S. I love that you and your mom were able to have such an open and honest conversation and that you then took the time to write into this column for more answers. You’re a pretty amazing guy. And you deserve a pretty amazing woman…like your mom. Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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The Single

As they say, “If someone shows you who they really are, believe them.”

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Michelle Mond our intuition is correct: as far as red flags go, this one is definitely not one to ignore. As they say, “If someone shows you who they really are, believe them.” The pleasant tone and attitude she uses while speaking to her friends is more happy-go-lucky because it stems from the constant need to feel accepted and liked by her friends in order to continue their relationship. When she picks up the phone to talk to her parents and siblings, however, the tone you hear reflects that she takes their presence in her life for granted. It is also likely the tone you will hear in five years from now, when she takes your relationship for granted. However, as with any red flag, do not pull out of a relationship until you are fairly certain that it is a pervasive pattern. Spend a Shabbos meal with Cynthia’s family as the relationship

progresses, so you can see their dynamic up close and personal. Are they relaxed, open and loving, or perhaps strained, artificial and on edge? The more time you spend with them as a family, the more insight you will glean into how comfortable you are with the person she becomes when she is around people she is close with. After you are able to clarify this issue you will have better clarity to decide whether you wish to marry her.

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their orthodontia and yeshiva tuition; the dedicated mothers and fathers who forfeited sleep and acquired gray hair doting on their offspring. Seems Cynthia has two faces. One, the adorable, fun-loving face she puts on when she’s out with you. The other, the spiteful daughter she seamlessly turns into at the sound of her mother’s voice. Which face will Cynthia wear when she marries? Impossible to know. If you’re the gambling type, you may ask her to join you for a heart-toheart. Tell her you’ve caught a glimpse of the other Cynthia and are disappointed and a tad apprehensive. “You see,” you’ll say, in your most somber tone of voice, “the marriage I envision is based on respect, appreciation, trust and yes, love. If you’re callous and rude towards the person-who-loves you-themost (aka, your mother), what are my chances?” And boy, would I love to hear what she has to say.

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

DO YOU REALLY THINK TOM BRADY IS HAPPY? By Noam Fixler

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you answered, “He’s certainly not happy,” to the title question, you are right – and you should probably put down this article and turn the page. For the rest of you, I apologize for the title – it was just a way to get rid of that guy who shouldn’t be reading this. Mission accomplished. Regardless of whether Tom Brady is happy or not, I am happy that he won the Super Bowl last Sunday because it is the rare time that I can point to a sports superstar and highlight his qualities to my children. Now, just in case the guy from above snuck back in and is reading this, let me say: Of course, we have plenty of excellent role models within Yiddishkeit and there is absolutely no need to look outside of our ranks for role models. But the fact is that many of our children follow sports and know a lot about these

sports players’ lives and characters. The information they’re fed and the character traits they’re looking at are usually negative. So, it’s nice for a change to have a sports star who has certain positive character traits that we can highlight. Yes, my children have tens of books about gedolim, which is their primary reading material and what we hope they model their behavior after, but sometimes you can reach a child by coming from a different angle. I think Tom Brady is the perfect conduit. Just to be clear, I don’t know anything about Tom Brady’s personal life but what we can emulate involves how he goes about succeeding in his professional life.

Before

the NFL draft, pro-football scouts analyze and investigate every aspect of the prospective draft choices. The

p l a y ers are put through rigorous physical tests, and the game-film of every game they ever played from college to middle school is scrutinized. Tom Brady was picked late in the 6th round of the 2000 draft. That means that he was passed over 199 times before finally being chosen. Nineteen years later, he holds the record for most regular season wins by a starting quarterback (207), most division titles (16), most playoff wins (30), most Super Bowl appearances (9), most Super Bowl wins (6), and most Super Bowl MVPs (4). Additionally, at the age of 41, he is also the only player from the 2000 draft that is still playing in the NFL. It’s common for players who are selected high in the draft to not live up to their potential. But it’s un-

heard of for a player to go from the bottom of the heap to the top. And Brady went to the top of not only his class but is arguably the best or one of the best players to ever play the game. So how did the NFL scouts get it so wrong? The answer is that they didn’t. Brady just rose above his natural abilities. How he did that is what we can all learn from. SELF-BELIEF According to Brady’s roommate at Michigan, when Brady was a third string quarterback in college he would constantly say, “I’m going to be a starting quarterback in the NFL.” Brady’s roommate told ESPN that several years later, in 2001, Brady was a backup quarterback on the Patriots and they were together

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

responded, “Who’s my hero? That’s a great question... Well, I think my

“BEFORE HE COULD SAY ANYTHING TO ME, I LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID, ‘MAN, I DON’T [CARE] WHAT YOU SAY, TOM, I’M NOT COMING IN EARLIER THAN 5:30!’”

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FAMILY In most post-game interviews, before answering the reporter’s first question, Brady looks at the camera and says, “Hi, Mom and Dad, I love you.” Some may think it’s an act, but under Brady’s high school yearbook photo it says, “Family, I love you all.” That was before he became famous. Now, with six Super Bowl rings, Brady has not forgotten from where he came. When asked last year who his hero is, Brady got choked up and

dad is my hero, because he’s someone I look up to every day.” For children who are reading this

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next day it’s 5:45 in the morning, and he makes sure to say it twice: ‘Good afternoon! Good afternoon!’ So I make it at 5:30 the next day and before he could say anything to me, I looked at him and said, ‘Man, I don’t [care] what you say, Tom, I’m not coming in earlier than 5:30!’ We both laughed at that.” Brady goes to sleep at 8:30 p.m. so he can get up at 5:30 a.m. to start his day. “I don’t go to bed at 1 a.m. and wake up at 5 a.m. and say, ‘Let’s see if I can get this done today,’” Brady told ABC News in 2016. “Because my career is so important, I think I make a lot of – I wouldn’t call them sacrifices – but just concessions for my job.” Early mornings, late nights, working harder than anyone else… those values translate into success.

article, remember that your parents, siblings, and grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins will always love you and will always be there for you. Don’t forget from where you have come. There are so many role models within your family whom you can – and should – look up to for guidance and direction. Even when you spread your wings, remember that your parents are the ones who have helped you to learn to fly. As for the adults reading this piece, well, don’t you want your children to call you their hero? Now’s the time to impart the important lessons of life to your children. Do it with love and acceptance; show your children that you believe in them; show them that they have what to be proud of. Our children will be navigating their own worlds soon and – whether they’re holding the Lombardi Trophy or not – they too should draw strength from the love and lessons that they have received from those who will love them forever.

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

HARD WORK There are countless anecdotes about how hard Brady works. In a recent interview, a Patriots executive recalls leaving the Patriots facility late one Friday evening in March several years ago. As he was driving out, he noticed that the lights on the practice field were on. He thought that it was odd that they forgot to shut the lights on the field that day, so he turned around and went to shut the lights. Sure enough, he observed Tom Brady on the field alone throwing footballs into a net. Brady was caught throwing balls late at night – after everyone left the facility. That is impressive enough. But more than that, this event took place in March, just a few weeks after the football season was over. Brady practicing late at night in March is akin to a Jewish mother deep-cleaning her home two weeks after Pesach or a teen burning the midnight oil studying algebra days after the regent. Most football players spend the time after the season basking in the sun or lying in the sand. Brady? Fuhgeddaboudit. He’s still at it, as if the playoffs are days away. Former Patriot Rodney Harrison told ESPN a story about how hard Brady works: “When I first got to New England, we [Harrison and Brady] had become friends, and we were in the weight room. I show up around 6:30 in the morning and he says to me, ‘Good afternoon!’ So the next day, I get the hint, and come

in 15 minutes earlier. Same thing: He says, ‘Good afternoon!’ Then the

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at an event. Brady said, “You know, I think I have a great shot at being quarterback this year,” and he proceeded to explain how it was going to happen. Someone at the event quipped, “There’s [Drew] Bledsoe, there’s Michael Bishop. What is Tommy even thinking?” Sure enough, Brady ended up as the starting quarterback and led the Patriots to their first-ever Super Bowl victory. The Lubavitcher Rebbe used to always say, “Tracht gut un es vet zein gut, Think good and it will be good.” Brady is certainly not a Lubavitcher but his positive thinking and his self-belief have indisputably played a role in his success.

State of the Union 2019

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

President Trump: “We Must Choose Between Greatness or Gridlock” By Susan Schwamm

olitical theater was on full display on Tuesday night when President Trump delivered his second State of the Union address in front of a divided Congress. With the Democrats holding a majority in the House of Representatives and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi seated behind him, Trump reached across the aisle. “I stand here ready to work with you to achieve historic breakthroughs for all Americans,” the

president declared. In a speech which many anticipated would bear more of a resemblance to a political wrestling match than a civilized discourse, the president struck a gracious tone and asserted, “Victory is not winning for our party. Victory is winning for our country.” He also touched on the vitriolic hatred of him that Democrats and the media has by declaring, “We must reject the politics of revenge, resistance, and retribution…. We must choose

between greatness or gridlock, results or resistance, vision or vengeance, incredible progress or pointless destruction. “Tonight,” the president said, “I ask you to choose greatness.” Mr. Trump touted the economy and noted that, since his election, the U.S. has added 5.3 million new jobs, including 600,000 new manufacturing jobs; nearly 5 million people have stopped collecting food stamps; and more people are working now than at

any other time in our history. He noted that just last month 304,000 jobs were added. “An economic miracle is taking place in the United States,” he noted, “and the only thing that can stop it are foolish wars, politics, or ridiculous partisan investigations.” In perhaps the most direct swipe at his adversaries he declared, “If there is going to be peace and legislation, there cannot be war and investigation. It just doesn’t work that way!”

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin gives the president a thumbs up during his speech

Judah Samet, survivor of the Holocaust and the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting, blows a kiss to President Trump during the speech

Bernie Sanders called Trump’s speech “racist”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez looked dour as Trump wowed America

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Along the same lines, the president vowed, “Now is the time for the Congress to show the world that America is committed to ending illegal immigration and putting the ruthless coyotes, cartels, drug dealers, and human traffickers out of business.” The president noted that walls have worked to provide security to our nation. He pointed to San Diego, which used to have the most illegal border crossings in the country. Since a border wall was erected, the illegal crossings have ended. Mr. Trump also mentioned the border city of El Paso, Texas, which used to be pummeled by high rates of violent crime and was considered one of the nation’s most dangerous cities. But now, with a wall in place, residents there experience peace and security. “Simply put, walls work and walls save lives,” the commander-in-chief noted. “So let’s work together, compromise, and reach a deal that will truly make America safe.” Mr. Trump also took on the new wing of the Democrat Party which openly advocates for socialism. “Here, in the United States, we are alarmed by new calls to adopt socialism in our country. America was founded on liberty and independence – not government coercion, domination, and control.” As the cameras panned the audience and focused on Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, a proud socialist, who was squirming in his seat, the president declared, “We are born free, and we will stay free. Tonight, we renew our resolve that America will never be a socialist country.” Sanders glowered while chants of “U.S.A.” could be heard from Republicans in the chamber. Mr. Trump turned his focus to trade and American progress. He noted that his administration has been working to stem the tide of Chinese theft of American intellectually property and spoke of tariffs imposed on the Asian country as a result. He also mentioned NAFTA and said that although other politicians promised Americans a “better” deal, “no one ever tried – until now.” Speaking about an emotional topic that has recently garnered headlines, the president pulled on people’s heartstrings. “There could be no greater con-

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

“Under my Administration, we will never apologize for advancing America’s interests.”

ate Dachau. When Mr. Trump highlighted that more women are employed today than ever before, a few dozen Democrat females, wearing white as a symbolism of female power, jumped to their feet and began laughing and pointing to themselves, as if to indicate that the reason more women are working is because of newly elected Democrat women who swept their party into power. Mr. Trump smiled, turned to the Democrat women, and said, “Remain standing because you are going to like this next line,” before declaring, “We also have more women serving in the Congress than ever before.” With the recent government shutdown and back-and-forth over a border wall having delayed Mr. Trump’s address for one week, the president made a passionate plea for common sense. “No issue better illustrates the divide between America’s working class and America’s political class than illegal immigration. Wealthy politicians and donors push for open borders while living their lives behind walls and gates and guards,” he noted. “Meanwhile, working class Americans are left to pay the price for mass illegal migration – reduced jobs, lower wages, overburdened schools and hospitals, increased crime, and a depleted social safety net.” He underscored, “Tolerance for illegal immigration is not compassionate – it is cruel.” Mr. Trump pointed out that one in three women are assaulted while making the journey over the border and that children are exploited. “Tens of thousands of innocent Americans are killed by lethal drugs that cross our border and flood into our cities – including meth, heroin, cocaine, and fentanyl. The savage gang, MS-13, now operates in 20 different American states, and they almost all come through our southern border. Just yesterday, an MS-13 gang member was taken into custody for a fatal shooting on a subway platform in New York City. We are removing these gang members by the thousands, but until we secure our border, they’re going to keep streaming back in,” the president told Congress and Americans around the country.

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For a president who is usually shielded by his twitter feed, Tuesday night was the first opportunity in a long time for millions of Americans to see Mr. Trump in an official setting, rather than at an impromptu press conference with helicopter blades humming behind him. If he is really an unread, unhinged, undisciplined and unpresidential fool – as the talking heads in the media portrays him to be – well, it was not on display on Tuesday night. Rather, what Americans saw was a president who is very much in command of the issues, has a vision for the country, and – perhaps most surprising to some – was able to deliver a speech with the same finesse as his silver-tongued predecessors. Although Democrats entered the Chamber with dour looks on their faces and early on during the speech sat on their hands, towards the end of the speech they joined Republicans in singing “Happy Birthday” to an 81-year-old Holocaust survivor and survivor of the Pittsburgh massacre who was in the audience. Mr. Trump then ad-libbed to Judah Samet, “They would never do that for me; they would never do that for me.” Samet, in turn, waved and blew a kiss to the president. Another Holocaust survivor was in the audience on Tuesday night. Joshua Kaufman was in Dachau when he saw American soldiers roll in on tanks. Mr. Trump recalled Joshua’s thoughts at the time. “To me…the American soldiers were proof that G-d exists, and they came down from the sky.” Seated next to Joshua at the address was Herman Zeitchik, an American soldier who helped liber-

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

trast to the beautiful image of a mother holding her infant child than the chilling displays our Nation saw in recent days. Lawmakers in New York cheered with delight upon the passage of legislation that would allow a baby to be ripped from the mother’s womb moments before birth. These are living, feeling, beautiful babies who will never get the chance to share their love and dreams with the world. And then, we had the case of the Governor of Virginia where he basically stated he would execute a baby after birth.” Mr. Trump asked Congress to pass legislation to prohibit the late-term abortion of “children who can feel pain in the mother’s womb. “Let us work together to build a culture that cherishes innocent life. And let us reaffirm a fundamental truth: all children – born and unborn – are made in the holy image of G-d.” Towards the end of his speech,

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“No matter the trials we face, no matter the challenges to come, we must go forward together.” President Trump spoke about his mission to protect the United States’ national security. “Under my Administration, we will never apologize for advancing America’s interests,” the president asserted. He mentioned China and Russia and reiterated his desire for peace on the Korean Peninsula. Speaking about meeting with Kim Jong Un in Vietnam on the 27 th and 28th of this month, the president noted, “Our hostages have come home, nuclear testing has stopped, and there has not been a missile launch in 15 months…. Much work remains to be done, but my relationship with Kim Jong Un is

a good one.” President Trump has consistently shown his understanding of the Middle East and America’s enemies there. He said that he “proudly” opened the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem for this reason and pledged to walk back American troops from battlefields in Syria and Afghanistan. “The hour has come to at least try for peace,” he declared. Speaking of Iran, which he said is the “world’s leading state sponsor of terror,” the president said, “We will not avert our eyes from a regime that chants death to America and threatens genocide against the Jewish people. We must never ignore the vile poison of anti-Semitism, or those who spread its venomous creed. With one voice, we must confront this hatred anywhere and everywhere it occurs.” Trump ended his address to the nation on a high note, urging members of Congress to remember the accomplishments of those who came before them and to be inspired by what they can achieve. “Think of this Capitol – think of this very chamber, where lawmakers before you voted to end slavery, to build the railroads and the highways, to defeat fascism, to secure civil rights, to face down an evil empire,” he urged. “Here tonight, we have legislators from across this magnificent republic. You have come from the rocky shores of Maine and the volcanic peaks of Hawaii; from the snowy woods of Wisconsin and the red deserts of Arizona; from the green farms of Kentucky and the golden beaches

not yet begun to dream.” Urging both parties to come together, the president said, “We must choose whether we are defined by our differences – or whether we dare to transcend them. “We must choose whether we will squander our inheritance – or whether we will proudly declare that we are Americans.” He added, “This is our future – our fate – and our choice to make. I am asking you to choose greatness.” Bringing Congress and the nation to its feet, President Trump proclaimed, “No matter the trials we face, no matter the challenges to come, we must go forward together. We must keep America first in our hearts. We must keep freedom alive in our souls. And we must always keep faith in America’s destiny – that one Nation, under G-d, must be the hope and the promise and the light and the glory among all the nations of the world. “Thank you. G-d bless you and G-d bless America.”

of California. Together, we represent the most extraordinary Nation in all of history. “What will we do with this moment? How will we be remembered? “I ask the men and women of this Congress: Look at the opportunities before us! Our most thrilling achievements are still ahead. Our most exciting journeys still await. Our biggest victories are still to come. We have

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FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Death Denial By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

The Gemara in Berachos (5a) discusses different strategies one can employ in the battle of his Yetzer Tov and Yetzer Hara. Initially, one should learn Torah. If that does not work, he should recite the Shema. If even that does not work, he should remind himself of the fact that one day he will die. The implication of this Gemara is that remembering one’s eventual demise is the most powerful weapon we possess in this age-old “battle of inclinations”, but it also seems that this method should only be employed as a last resort. If one can overcome his Yetzer Hara with the study of Torah or the recital of the Shema, then he should not focus on his own death. Why is this so? There are many answers to this question, but we will just focus on

one of them. Chazal are telling us that although remembering one’s death is extremely powerful, it is also very hard to actually do since on a certain level we do not believe that we are going to die. The reason for this is that our brains have certain limitations when it comes to comprehension. One of the most glaring ones is that we can’t fully relate to something that we have not personally experienced. We might believe it on an intellectual level, but we can’t fully connect with it without first-hand knowledge. Since by definition, every live person has no recollection of ever not being alive, therefore the notion that one day he will no longer be alive in a physical sense is very hard to internalize. This can also be true of the even-

ours! t g n i r at sp e r g r o wf call no

tual death of a parent. A child’s first memories are that of his parents. The existence of his parents seems to be a permanent feature of the world. To imagine that one day he will be in this world and his parents will not is a notion that can’t be fully absorbed. This idea is also expressed by the Steipler in his commentary on Parshas Noach. Rashi (7, 7) cites a Medrash that Noach did not fully believe that the Mabul would actually happen, and he therefore did not enter the Teivah until the rising waters left him no choice. This astounding Medrash begs for an explanation. The Steipler explains that it was impossible for Noach to fully believe that the Mabul would come since he never experienced a Mabul before. Although Hashem told him explicitly that it would happen,

This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp.org

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that only gave him intellectual knowledge, but emotionally he could not fully comprehend the whole concept of a Mabul since it was outside of his personal experience. It might be frustrating when someone is in denial of the consequences of a terminal illness. This article will hopefully help you understand that this is a normal reaction to such a challenging situation.

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You know what they mean to you.

Join the inaugural Talia’s Class, a new community initiative in memory of Talia Zahava Barer a”h offering free training and awareness for parents and caregivers on infant CPR & other important techniques to keep our most precious ones safe.

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Make sure you’ll be there for them.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Forgotten Her es

Captain Levi Harby A Jewish Sailor who Fought with Courage and Conviction By Avi Heiligman

he United States is one of the few countries in the world to have an all-volunteer force. Many join the military for adventure. There are incidents from the 19th century in which some as young as eleven years old joined the armed forces. Even those who were drafted, for example, during the Civil War, both World Wars and Vietnam, may have made their career by staying in the military. One of these young men was a Sephardic Jewish boy from South Carolina who voluntarily joined the navy at the age of fourteen and remained a sailor for decades. By the time his career was over, he had served in several wars and retired with the rank of captain. Levi Charles Meyers Harby was born in Georgetown, South Carolina, in 1793. (Some records have it incorrectly that his birth town was in Charleston, which was home to a very large Jewish community.) Fourteen-year-old Levi (sometimes spelled Levy) entered the navy in 1807 as a midshipman. By the War of 1812, he was on the privateer Saucy Jack. Another Jewish sailor by the name of Levy was only a year older than Harby and both shared the same fate of being captured by the British. Uriah Phillips Levy eventually became a commodore and is best remembered for banning flogging and for buying Thomas Jefferson’s estate, Monticello. Harby was an officer on the Saucy Jack when she fought in several naval battles. In the first year of the war, the Americans took the British ship Providence as a

prize. Harby was placed on the Providence but it was soon taken back by the British. The nineteen-year-old was taken prisoner and sent to a jail in Dartmoor, England. Presumably both Levi Harby and Uriah Levy shared the same cell for some time. Every day a Jewish baker passed by the jail selling bread and secretly told Harby of the American victory at the Battle of New Orleans. After eighteen months in prison, he escaped back to the U.S. via France. Back in America, Harby rejoined the navy and was placed as a captain

of Independence in 1835, and the Bolivian War of Independence from Peru. The Bolivian War cost Harby his American citizenship since there were strict laws stating that one could not bear arms for a foreign country. He regained his citizenship in the Texas War of Independence. This time he was on the schooner Brutus defending the port city of Galveston when Texas broke away from Mexico. Texas soon became part of the U.S., and this allowed him to become an American citizen again. Until the Civil War, Harby re-

The Civil War saw many good officers resign from the Union as their states seceded to form the Confederacy.

of a ship in the fleet with Commodore Stephen Decatur who was on his way to the Barbary Coast. The American crushed the pirates in the second of the Barbary Wars. There are varying accounts as to the timeline of when Harby left and rejoined the navy, although he definitely was involved in certain battles and wars. Harby was also an officer in the Cutter Service. Some of the engagements that he took part in included the Seminole Indian War of Florida in 1828, the Texas War

mained with the Revenue Cutter Service and the U.S. Navy. He married the daughter of a prominent Jewish judge from Savannah in 1842 and lived there until 1857. At that point, he went back to Galveston to take command of a ship stationed at the port. The Harbys were very active in the Jewish community, and Leonora, his wife, started the first Jewish Sunday school in Texas. The Civil War saw many good officers resign from the Union as their states seceded to form the Confedera-

cy. Harby’s native South Carolina left the Union and so he joined the South as an artillery officer on a steamer. The 68-year-old was soon recognized for his naval experience and was given the command of the warship Neptune. During the Battle of Galveston Harbor on October 4, 1862, the Neptune and Bayou City were used to board a Union steamer. Ultimately, the Union was victorious in the battle, and the Neptune was sunk. Eight men directly under Harby’s command were killed; Harby was the last off the sinking ship. There was fierce fighting both on land and sea a few months later in Galveston, and the Jewish captain was given a lot of credit for that Confederate victory. Captain Harby finished the Civil War as the commander of Galveston Harbor as the city remained in Southern hands for much of the remainder of the war. His two sons and son-inlaw were among the thousands of Jews who served in the Confederate military during the Civil War. Harby passed away in 1870 and is buried in Galveston in a Jewish cemetery that he founded many years earlier. Levi Harby was decorated for his leadership and dedication to multiple causes during his very lengthy naval career.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@ gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Your

Money

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

It’s All Chinese to Me

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

have been running things since Truman was president. But it’s been a long time since any real Marxists have been in charge. It turns out that communism is bad for business! (Also, jokes about communism aren’t funny if everyone doesn’t get them.) So you might be surprised at just how much China’s tax system has come to look like ours. Chinese employers withhold income and social security taxes just

10,000 yuan/month, you don’t have to file a tax return. Business owners pay 5-35% on their earnings. (What would Chairman Mao think of that?) Individuals also pay 20% on investment income and capital gains, including real estate sales. Individual tax returns are due on March 31, with extensions granted under special circumstances only. Husbands and wives file individually; there are no joint returns.

Then there are “behavioral” taxes that include a vehicle and vessel use tax, a license-plate tax, a slaughter tax, and a banquet tax.

like here. Income taxes start at 3% on salaries up to 1,500 yuan/month (about $225) and top out at 45% over 80,000 yuan ($12,000). Social security varies from city to city, with employers generally contributing 33% and employees paying another 11%. If your only income is salary under

Corporations typically pay 25% on their profits. However, the World Bank reported in 2017 that China’s total corporate tax burden, including property taxes and value-added taxes, swallows about 68% of profits. And China appears to impose some indirect “taxes” that our Congress

would have a hard time passing. For example, Poland and Canada have just arrested executives from telecom giant Huawei for espionage, which suggests the People’s Republic is “taxing” companies for more than just cash. China also imposes a grab bag of value-added taxes, consumption taxes, and property taxes. Then there are “behavioral” taxes that include a vehicle and vessel use tax, a license-plate tax, a slaughter tax, and a banquet tax. (We’re pretty sure the poor piglet is jazzed about those last two.) And China is on the forefront of using facial recognition software to monitor citizens, so you’ve got to imagine they’re pretty good at rooting out tax cheats. Americans celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by drinking Guinness and Cinco de Mayo by drinking Corona. So why don’t more of us celebrate Chinese New Year with a Tsingtao or two? That’s food for thought for you as you look through your own taxes and prepare for April 15.

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

n January 1, we switched our calendars from 2018 to 2019. But in China, February 5 is the date for setting off fireworks. This year, we’re ushering in the Year of the Pig. The pig is the last animal in the Chinese zodiac — according to one Chinese legend, he overslept for the Jade Emperor’s great meeting of the animals in heaven. Men born in the year of the pig are optimistic, gentle, and focused. Women born in the year of the pig are full of excitement, trustworthy, and have good fortune with wealth. (No fortune cookie jokes, please!) We’re 20ish years into the new millennium now. Driverless cars are starting to take to the streets, and Amazon is working on drone deliveries. So you might think naming a year after a barnyard animal is silly. But hey, just in the last month, Chinese scientists planted cotton on the dark side of the moon, while here in the U.S. the government counseled furloughed employees to pick up side gigs babysitting and pawning their kidneys. Who’s to say the Chinese aren’t onto something? Naturally, the Year of the Pig got us wondering just how piggy the Peoples’ Republic gets with taxes. You’d probably expect them to be pretty high, considering the communists

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

Gluten Free Recipe Column by Mrs. Elaine Bodenheimer

GlutenFree@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

For questions or comments about Gluten Free Baking please email GlutenFree@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

Gluten Free Cinnamon Buns A Favorite in Our House!

What You Will Need: Dough 2 Tbl. margarine, softened 1 cup cornstarch ¼ cup white sugar 1 cup brown rice flour 2/3 cup rice milk, warmed ¼ tsp. baking soda 1 Tbl. yeast 2 ½ tsp. xanthan gum 1 large egg 2 tsp baking powder ¼ cup canola oil ½ tsp. salt 1/3 cup potato starch 1 tsp. vanilla

Preperation: 1. Dissolve the yeast in large mixing bowl with warmed milk. Let bubble for a few minutes. Add sugar, margarine, oil, and vanilla to milk/yeast mixture. Stir to combine. Add egg and combine thoroughly. 2. In a separate bowl, mix together the salt, potato starch, cornstarch, brown rice flour, baking soda, baking powder, and xanthan gum. Slowly add flour mixture to mixing bowl. Stir until well-combined. (You can use an electric mixer if you like.) Remove dough from mixing bowl and place in greased container. Let rise in warm place for 45-60 minutes. Dough will be sticky.

3. Roll dough to ¼ inch thickness between 2 pieces of parchment paper, well-floured with potato starch. Remove top sheet of paper and spread softened margarine on top of dough. Combine Filling: brown sugar, raisins, and cinnamon and sprinkle ¾ cup packed brown sugar over surface of greased dough. Using bottom ¼ cup raisins (opt.) sheet of parchment to assist you, roll dough into 1 ½ tsp. cinnamon a log. Carefully cut into 12 equal pieces about 1 inch wide. Place buns on parchment-lined baking 1/3 cup margarine, softened sheet, leaving about 1 inch in between to allow for rising. Let buns rise in warm oven for 40 minutes. Turn oven to 400 degrees, and bake 22 minutes until tops are golden. Check for doneness. 4. Icing can be made by mixing ½ cup confectioner’s sugar with about 1/3 tsp warm water and spreading over buns. ENJOY!

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Life C ach

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

Can You Share the Formula? By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

their own personal access to the coveted wall of the plane. Though, they still must struggle to find a way not to be aware that their feet are still in a standing position or a way to keep their plane pillow from slipping down the glossy surface. Yet, they do have a little more comfort then their fellow travelers. That is, until they need to use the facilities. Then the awkwardness begins. Do they wake everyone in the row, uncomfortably refrain till the flight ends or the row mates

ally little sustenance. I’m not saying there are no flights anymore with those yummy, triple-fortified dinners, but you’ve got to be traveling pretty far to earn them. Most flights these days simply distribute microscopic pretzels and a drink. Therefore, in the baggage that they want you to keep shrinking in size and stowing away, you’ve got to find a way to add in your desired food choices. And make sure it’s not tuna! After all, if they are serving the

hopefully get up, or climb over from armrest to armrest? All uncomfortable options! What about those who use the pulldown trays as a headrest? Do they get their meal placed right on their snoozing heads? Oh wait, do they even still give meals anymore on planes? That’s right – these days, added to the little sleep you get is usu-

meal, they can make it as smelly as they want. But if you’re bringing it on, your fellow squashed-like-a-sardinecan neighbor is not going to appreciate the wafting aromas. I keep returning to the vision of the couple with the baby trying to find any way to get some shuteye and the poor guys in the row behind them trying not to strangle them. I

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

And what about the people in the last row who must add to their dozing challenges the chatter around the restrooms and the earpopping flushing as they try to sleep?

keep envisioning the guy with the long legs in the aisle seat who tries to sleep through the cart rolling back and forth over his toes. And what about the people in the last row who must add to their dozing challenges the chatter around the restrooms and the ear-popping flushing as they try to sleep? The way to sleep best, we all know, is at home in your comfortable bed with your favorite blankie. And even there, many struggle. Some people have work or worries on their mind. Others aren’t even sure what’s throwing off their rest. But sleep is the stuff the next day’s energy is made of. Therefore, finding the way to get some – whether traveling or at home – is certainly a perpetually valid pursuit. If you sleep well wherever you are, count that among your blessings. If you struggle, for what it’s worth, remember you are not alone. And for all of us, when we see another person just not behaving the way we wish they would let’s try and give them some leeway. Perhaps we can think that they are going on too little sleep – most of us know how head rolling-ly challenging that can be.

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

here they are, sitting completely erect, clothing perfectly aligned, looking regal and composed. So much so, that when someone asks, did you drop these glasses, they have no clue they are speaking to someone with their eyes closed. This is that rare traveler who has no difficulty getting their sleep. Then there is the rest of the universe. Some are totally prepared and only somewhat challenged. First, they take out their trusty pillow. You know the one everyone else bought last time and left at home or didn’t bother buying even though they passed 700 varieties of them on the way to the gate? They place it around their neck, pop two of what they know works for them, and go off into a peaceful slumber. Of course, there is the other extreme of that. The person who puts on the eye-covering, sticks in the ear plugs, throws a blanket over their head, downs their Ambien, and curls up into some form of a ball almost disappearing from sight and finds some interesting way to attain their shuteye. These people, too, have some form of travel formula down. Then, of course, there are most other people. When you look around a plane you are amazed at the hundreds of different ways people struggle for that needed sleep. Some have the good fortune to get a window seat and

FEBRUARY 14, 2019

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

In The K

tchen

Beer-Glazed Wings Meat • Yields 10 servings • Freezer friendly

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

By Naomi Nachman

I knew I had to have wings in my new cookbook because my husband, Zvi, always orders wings when we see them on a menu. Often wings are thrown onto a BBQ grill or fried, but I wanted to make it easy; I bake them in the oven and glaze them with a fabulous sauce. These are perfect to serve at a get-together with family and friends.

Ingredients Baked Wings 4 pounds chicken wings 2 tsp kosher salt 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper ¼ tsp cayenne pepper 2 tsp garlic powder

Beer Glaze 2 cloves garlic, crushed ¼ inch ginger, grated or 2 frozen ginger cubes ½ tsp red pepper flakes 1 cup stout beer ½ cup honey 1 TBS Dijon mustard 4 TBS tomato paste

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Preparation Preheat oven to 450°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper; set aside. In a large bowl, toss together wings, salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and garlic powder. Place wings in a single layer on prepared baking sheet. Bake for 1 hour, turning once halfway through the baking time, until browned and crispy. Meanwhile, prepare the beer glaze: Combine all glaze ingredients in a small pot. Bring to a boil; lower heat and simmer for about 5 minutes, until slightly thickened. Toss baked wings in glaze to fully coat. Recipe from Perfect Flavors by Naomi Nachman shared with permission from Artscroll Mesorah Publications. Photo by Miriam Pascal.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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