Dear Navidaters,

As the married friend of a single 29-year-old girl, I’m growing increasingly worried about her. In her low 20’s, she just wasn’t ready for marriage and that was totally OK. In her mid-20’s she consistently chased after the wrong guys and avoided the guys that actually would have been good for her. Essentially, she liked the “bad boys” and didn’t find the nice guys very appealing. Now, in her late twenties, she’s taken on a bit of a snobby persona, and while she still professes that she wants to get married very badly, I feel that she’s actually further away from reality than she was a few years ago.

To date, she has not had any long-term dating relationship, either in the shidduch world or meeting guys her own. And the guys she seems to like tend to dump her almost immediately. I feel like she doesn’t understand herself at all, and even though she is in therapy, it doesn’t seem to be working.

I’m too scared to tell her any of this for fear that she’ll get angry at me and not take my words to heart. She has a hard time with criticism, and she often perceives that she’s being criticized when nobody is actually attacking her at all! I’m told she’s been getting a reputation as a snob and “holier than thou” from outsiders, and I’m having a really hard time defending her reputation lately. I love her and want what’s best for her, but I’m frozen in place... what do I do?

Sincerely, A Friend Indeed

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.