Teen Talk

By Daniella Quinn

Dear Teen Talk, Teen Talk,

Teen Talk, a new I am in eighth grade in a really good school in town. I was always a good student and am conscientious about my work. I listen in class and do my homework. But since November I noticed that I feel like I column in TJH, is geared towards the teens in our community. Answered by a rotating roster of teachers, rebbeim, clinicians, and peers (!), teens will be hearing answers to many questions they had percolating in their minds and wished they had the answers for. can barely keep up. I come home with loads of work and am overwhelmed. I dread doing homework – I have work in almost every subject every night and we have a few tests every week. I also go to a dance class (which I love) but that also adds to my schedule. I am still doing well in school but the feeling of being overwhelmed is still with me every night. Also, I am taking the math regent this year and am feeling really stressed about that. What can I do? Does it get any easier? Am I doing something wrong to make me always feel overwhelmed? No one else seems to be feeling this way.

The first thing I would like you to do is realize that it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed.

You have described a heavy workload from school, and it sounds like you value not only completing the work but doing it well.

If I was in your place, I can only imagine the amount of frustration I would be feeling with all the work that has to be done sitting before me, and because of that, I am so proud of you that have not given up.

In these situations, it may be tempting to stop trying altogether because we think that is what will make us stop feeling overwhelmed. The truth is, giving up doesn’t do us much good. I want to go back to where you mentioned that you are still doing well in school – right there, that’s where you told me that the issue is not that you are unable to do it.

You are a bright and motivated girl who works hard and that is something you should be proud of. Many of us tend to forget our own strengths when we are challenged, and we forget that these challenges are only meant to make us stronger. When we remember what we are capable of, we begin to believe in ourselves more and it becomes easier to tackle whatever it is we are dealing with. Of course, the fact that you are feel-

ing overwhelmed is never a good thing, but there are ways to deal with it.

In this specific case, where the idea of everything you have to get done is just too much, I would recommend a to-do list. You might be thinking that there’s no need for a to-do list because you can remember everything that needs to be done without it, but I think it serves a different purpose. Now I’m going to go on a bit of a food tangent, but stick with me, it’s all going to come together, I promise.

Imagine I told you that we were going to be making chicken pot pie. It sounds like a very complex dish compared to

your average scrambled eggs or even a simple batch of cookies. However, when I hand you the recipe, the directions do not say to “make the pie,” rather it breaks down the process into simple steps which your younger sister could probably do. The idea that I’m trying to share with you is that when we have a lot that we know has to be done, the mere thought can bring a lot

When we remember what we are capable of, we begin to believe in ourselves more and it becomes easier to tackle whatever it is we are dealing with.

list. You might be thinking that there’s no need for a to-do list because you can remember everything share with you is that when we have a lot that we know has to be done, the mere thought can bring a lot

of stress; you don’t know where to begin. You can sit down working on one subject for homework thinking about all the other work that’s waiting for you, but there’s a better option.

When you write down all that you plan on getting done that night, you are setting it all out for yourself, making it easier for you to work on one thing without the worry that you’ll forget about everything else.

My second favorite thing about a todo list is that you can cross things off. It is an amazing feeling to watch the list get shorter as you check off all that you accomplished. I believe that you will feel more proud of yourself as you go through Are you a teen with a question? If you have a question or problem you’d like our columnists to address, email your question or insight to editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com, subject line: Teen Talk.

your day keeping track of all that you your day keeping track of all that you got done, rather than stressing about got done, rather than stressing about what needs to be done.

Of course, these are not foolproof solutions, and you may even need to give it a bit of time before you see a difference, but I think it is worthwhile to give it a try.

There are going to be times in life where you will feel overwhelmed, and that’s okay. In these situations, you have to figure out what works for have to figure out what works for you and asking for help is always you and asking for help is always a great start. It’s important to remember that you have support all around you – from friends, family, and teachers, too. On that note, if you don’t feel like the stress is going away, it’s a great idea to speak to your parents as well as your teachers to see if they can help and be open to the help they have to offer. I wish you much hatzlacha!

Daniella is originally from Houston, Texas, and recently moved to Baltimore, Maryland, after a year of seminary in Israel. She currently works in a school while studying for a degree in psychology.

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