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Dear Readers,

This past week marked the celebration of the joyous holiday of Purim for Jewish communities around the world. Festivities and joy filled the streets of Baltimore and beyond as people gathered to celebrate this special Yom Tov. Hopefully, amidst the simcha, we found upliftment and inspiration through the observance of the mitzvos of Purim.

Here at The BJH, we are delighted to showcase pictures from “Around Town,” capturing the vibrant spirit of Purim across our community, and the results of our Purim costume contest. It was heartwarming to witness the enthusiasm and creativity on display, and Baltimore can certainly take pride in its spirited celebrations!

Personally, I found immense joy in experiencing Purim in its entirety, particularly in my visits to Rabbonim, Rabbeim, teachers, and dear friends. Undoubtedly, each of us carries our own cherished memories and highlights from the festivities, ones that leave a lasting imprint far beyond Purim itself. As Rashi elucidates in Taanis, “Mishenichnas Adar Marbim B’Simcha” encompasses both Purim and the forthcoming holiday of Pesach, granting us almost three months (this year) to perpetuate this spirit of celebration and happiness.

There is a poignant anecdote involving a visitor who wished Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, a “Purim Sameach.” In response, Harav Shlomo Zalman remarked, “That is incorrect - joy is not confined to Purim alone, but is an obligation throughout the year.”

Likewise, the Apter Rav, in his sefer Ohev Yisroel, presents a fascinating gematria: The word ‘החמשב’ (B’Simcha) equals ‘הנש’ (Shanah), both summing up to 355, symbolizing that the joy experienced on Purim should permeate throughout the entire year. This message of joy is particularly significant amidst the tumultuous and challenging times we face. Much like the Persia depicted in the Megillah, Israel and Jewish communities worldwide confront relentless threats from modern-day Persia. Beyond physical dangers, the resurgence of blatant anti-Semitism poses a grave concern, often overlooked by the world. In such circumstances, we find ourselves standing resilient, reminded by the essence of Purim & Pesach to find solace in our triumphs and uphold our faith with unwavering joy.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and restful Shabbos! Aaron Menachem

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High School Debate Competition Ignites Intellectual Sparks

Students from various schools, including Bais Yaakov of Baltimore, gathered on Monday, March 18th, for a spirited evening of debate hosted by Kosloff Torah Academy in Philadelphia. The event brought together young debaters from different backgrounds to engage in thought-provoking discussions on the topic of whether teachers should be armed.

The competition, which commenced at 5:30 pm, saw participants from Ilan High School, Kohelet, and numer-ous other schools tackle the complex issue from different perspectives. Divided into teams of two, students navigated through two rounds of debates, addressing both the affirmative and negative sides of the argu-ment.

Before the event, attendees enjoyed a dinner, fostering a warm and convivial atmosphere for the evening’s proceedings.

In the policy debate category, Leah Davidson from Bais Yaakov’s debate team emerged as the second-place winner, impressing judges and peers alike with her articulate arguments and persuasive delivery.

In the extemporaneous category, three talented girls from Bais Yaakov’s debate team claimed victory: Cha-yala Frand, Zahava Schapiro, and Dassi Bondi. They demonstrated exceptional quick thinking and rhetorical prowess

as they delivered compelling speeches on impromptu topics.

Special thanks were extended to the dedicated debate coach and teacher, Mrs. Leeba Steen, whose guid-ance and support contributed to the success of the Bais Yaakov debate team. Additionally, gratitude was ex-pressed to Mrs. Debbie Lowenstein, mother of Aviva Lowenstein, who volunteered to accompany the stu-dents to Philadelphia as their chaperone, ensuring a smooth and enjoyable experience for all.

As the evening drew to a close, participants left with a sense of accomplishment and camaraderie, having engaged in a spirited exchange of ideas and perspectives. The high school debate competition served as a testament to the power of discourse and intellectual engagement in shaping young minds and fostering a culture of informed citizenship.

Bais Yaakov High School Debate Team: (Left to Right) Nava Levine, Zahava Schapiro, Ashira Bilek, Aviva Lowenstein, Bryna Esther Weiner, Yael Poretsky, Ariella Friedman, Chayala Frand, Leah Davidson, Sharri Flamm, Dassi Bondi, Elisheva Tal, Avigail Milevsky, Nechama Leah Paige

Kehilas Derech Chaim Matzah Baking

By: BJLife Newsroom

Today, the annual Derech Chaim (Rabbi Pinchas Gross) matzah baking trip occurred in Lakewood, with nearly 20 men and 10 young men participating in baking matzos for several hours. The participants had the zechus of hearing a shmuz from HaRav Simcha Bunim Cohen, Rav of Khal Ateres Yeshaya in Lakewood.

TA Purim Fun

Around the Community

Yeshivas Mordechai HaTzadik at Mercaz

On Purim day, Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah hosted a Yeshivas Mordechai HaTzadik learning program. The large turnout of fathers and sons spent the short hours of Purim productively, learning in the Bais HaMedrash. Following the learning, the boys enjoyed delicious refreshments and a great prize. This program was one of many events that took place in Mercaz throughout Purim, including a Seudas Lail Purim/Melave Malka and a Purim Tish.

In My Last Year in Mitzrayim, children loved reading a 9-year-old boy’s “diary” that brought Yetziyas Mitzrayim to life. Now, in Leaving Mitzrayim, the incredible story continues, as he shares the excitement as he, his family and friends, and the entire Jewish people leave Mitzrayim behind! From preparing the Korban Pesach to arriving at the Yam Suf, this is a story our children will never forget. Based on the Torah narrative and many fascinating midrashim, Leaving Mitzrayim will enhance our children’s sedarim and their appreciation for one of the most important events in our history.

As his tens of thousands of devoted readers have discovered, a “Spero Story” is one that satisfies, engages and inspires us to say, when we’ve turned the final page, “Now, THAT’s a story!”

Around the Community

Flipping and Flying at Yeshivas Toras Simcha

Yosef Markowitz entertained the Yeshivas Toras Simcha students before Purim. The students dressed in festive costumes to enjoy the acrobatic feats, mesiba, and more!

Photo Credits: Dovid Kapenstein

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Empowering the Future: Alana Weinberg, Founder of Binyan Yisroel

introduced me to HaRav Hopfer, Shlita, who also understood the need and encouraged me to start the school. Dr. Weisbord, myself and other colleagues named the school Binyan Yisroel, because these kids will be the builders of our future and they need to be given an opportunity to thrive and succeed.

depression, anxiety and turn to other out lets because of lack of success. We’re here to prevent that!

BJH: Where is Binyan Yisroel located?

Alana Weinberg: We are currently hosted within Bais Yaakov (girls program) and TA (boys program). Next year we will

change in how education is delivered to students with learning differences helping each student reach their full potential.

BJH: Your personal journey has been a significant driver behind Binyan Yisroel. How has this journey influenced your approach to education and leadership?

Alana Weinberg: My journey has

taught me the importance of understanding and embracing diverse learning landscapes. Discovering my children’s dyslexia was a turning point, leading me to advocate for specialized education. This personal experience has shaped my leadership style, making me more empathetic, inclusive, and determined to make a difference in the lives of children facing similar

What’s the best advice you’ve

When my son was diagnosed with dyslexia, my husband and I were overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do. We met with Ilana Ruskay-Kidd from The Shefa School in New York who told us, “We’ll hold your worries, your son will thrive.” And that’s what we try to do for parents at Binyan Yisroel. Using researched based, data driven curriculum, we work to ensure every student reaches their full potential holding the worry of the

Lastly, what message would you like to share with families navigating the challenges of education for children with

I want families to know they’re not alone. There are resources and people ready to support you, including us at Binyan Yisroel. Education is a transformative power, and by working together, we can create an environment where every child, regardless of their learning differences, has the opportunity to succeed and thrive.

For more information about Binyan Yisroel, please email office@binyanyisroel.com or call (443) 272-1208. Visit our website www.binyanyisroel.org. Support Binyan Yisroel https://www.paypal.com/ us/fundraiser/charity/4691605

The Week In News

In June 2023, the government issued a temporary order, asking the IDF not to recruit charedi students. However, the resolution expired at midnight on March 31, with the high court issuing a ruling that was implemented into law on April 1.

Supreme Court Targets Yeshivas

On Thursday, the High Court of Justice, in a politically and socially significant ruling, decided to put an end to conscription exemptions for charedi yeshiva students, blocking the government from funding yeshivas whose students aren’t drafted.

The issue of charedi conscription has been in the political spotlight for some time, with those in favor of drafting yeshiva students asserting that charedi exemptions constitute discrimination, and with opponents noting that Torah learning is essential to defending Israel.

Aryeh Deri, the leader of the Shas party, said that the ruling is an “unprecedented maltreatment for Torah study in the Jewish state.” Yitzhak Goldknopf, the housing and construction minister and head of United Torah Judaism, added that the decision is “a stain and a disgrace” that will cause “severe harm to those who toil in Torah.”

On the other side of the political issue, Benny Gantz, a member of the National Unity party and a minister in Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s

war-time coalition, has, in the past, threatened to leave the government if blanket charedi conscription exemptions are allowed. The Movement for Quality Government in Israel asserted that the court ruling “signifies the end of the illegitimate discrimination between different types of blood,” thus making it so that there will “no longer [be] support for those who are not partners in the burden [of military service].”

A 2017 court ruling illegalized charedi service exemptions, and March 31 was the deadline for the Israeli government to find a way to follow the decision. However, because of the Jewish state’s war against Hamas and Hezbollah, which broke out in the wake of the October 7th massacre, the government has been unable to deal with the issue of charedi recruitment.

As per Thursday’s ruling, the government will be banned from funding charedi yeshivas whose students are obligated to report for conscription. This will impact 1,257 yeshivas, as well as 49,485 yeshiva students who have been, up until now, given yearly ser-

vice deferrals. According to the State Attorney’s Office, 371 yeshivas will see funding cuts of 30 to 70 percent, with some seeing even bigger cuts.

“From the outset, Government Resolution 682 [which was passed in June 2023] was based on the premise of promoting legislation. Therefore, with the expiration of the resolution, and in the absence of an alternative framework, as of April 1, 2024, no source of authority will exist that allows for the continued blanket avoidance of drafting yeshiva students,” the Attorney General’s Office said. “In such circumstances, all authorized state officials will be legally obligated to act on conscription procedures for yeshiva students starting on April 1, 2024.”

IDF Spokesperson Daniel Hagari has said the IDF will “act in accordance with the law.” The military police probably won’t begin enforcing draft orders on April 1. However, a charedi man who dodged the draft and subsequently violated a traffic rule or attempted to leave Israel may be arrested. Want

Yehuda Shoemann (Baltimore) & Shalva Davidovich (Cleveland)

Yaakov Kerchner (Silver Spring) & Faygie Smith (Baltimore)

Izzy Bogart (Baltimore) & Batsheva Tropper (Dallas)

Aharon Schnur (Baltimore) & Suri Goldstein (Inwood, NY)

Dovid Gelberman & Tova Weimer

Avigdor Neuberger & Ahuva Alyeshmerni

Yanky Weinberger & Ellie Ward

Elisha Shoob (Baltimore) & Chana Malka Baver (Chicago)

Shmueli Heber & Raizy Brecher

The Week In News

Prime Minister Netanyahu’s request for a thirty-day postponement to come up with a proposal on the conscription issue was rejected by the court.

Shifa Operation Ends

The Israeli military’s two-week operation in Gaza City’s Shifa Hospital came to an end on Monday, following 900 arrests and the elimination of 200 terrorists. Of the 900 detained suspects, 500 have been officially identified as terrorists.

On the same day as the IDF’s withdrawal from Shifa, Staff Sergeant Nadav Cohen, a twenty-year-old from

Haifa, was murdered in southern Gaza while fighting in the IDF’s 7th Armored Brigade’s 77th Battalion. Cohen is the 600th Israeli soldier to have been killed since the October 7th massacre, including those soldiers who were murdered on October 7. He is the 256th soldier to have been killed in the war.

Hamas continues to lie to the world about its use of hospitals and civilian areas for terrorist activities, although evidence of the terror group’s military actions in Shifa is abundant. On Sunday, the Israeli army published video showing a collection of weapons, which included mortars, explosives, sniper and assault rifles, and more, that were stored in Shifa’s maternity ward.

“No hospital in the world looks like this. This is what a house of terrorists looks like,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu declared.

Around 350 hospital patients and staff were evacuated from Shifa Hospital and were brought to a “designated compound” within the hospital’s complex, where the civilians were given humanitarian aid and supplies.

Another 6,200 sheltering Gazans were evacuated from the hospital.

Almost 180 days ago, on October 7, thousands of Hamas terrorists invaded southern Israel, killing more than 1,200 people and taking 253 hostages, triggering a war in the Gaza Strip.

Iranian General Killed in Israeli Strike

At least three senior commanders and four officers overseeing Iran’s covert operations in the Middle East were killed on Monday when Israeli warplanes struck a building in Damascus, Syria, that is part of the Iranian Embassy complex, according to

Iranian and Syrian officials.

The strike in Damascus, the Syrian capital, appeared to be among the deadliest attacks in a years-long shadow war between Israel and Iran that has included the assassinations of Iranian military leaders and nuclear scientists.

That covert war has moved into the open as tensions between the countries have intensified over Israel’s military campaign in the Gaza Strip against Hamas, the Iranian-backed militia that led the October 7 attack on Israel.

Four Israeli officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive intelligence matters, confirmed that Israel had been behind the strike in Damascus but denied that the building had diplomatic status.

But the Syrian ambassador to Iran, Shafiq Dayoub, said the strike had targeted a diplomatic building and was a “clear and complete violation of all international conventions and norms.”

Video circulating on social media

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The Week In News

after the strike showed a destroyed building next to the embassy, and photographs showed an entrance gate with a sign identifying it as the consular section. The embassy said on X, formerly Twitter, that the building housed a consular section and the ambassador’s residence.

The dead included Gen. Ali Reza Zahdi, 65, who oversaw Iran’s covert military operations in Syria and Lebanon, two other generals, and four officers in the Quds Force, Iran’s Revolutionary Guard said in a statement.

Israeli officials and a member of the Revolutionary Guard, which oversees the Quds Force, said the Damascus strike on Monday had targeted a meeting in which Iranian intelligence officials and Palestinian militants were to discuss the war in Gaza. Among them were leaders of Palestinian Islamic Jihad, a group armed and funded by Iran.

Syria’s defense ministry said the Israeli strike occurred about 5 p.m. local time, when fighter jets entered Syria from the Golan Heights. (© The New York Times)

The “Al Jazeera” Law

The Knesset passed a law on Monday that temporarily empowers the government to ban foreign media networks that threaten national security from the country. The law was passed, with seventy-one voting in favor and ten voting against.

The directive will allow Israel to shut down Al Jazeera, a Qatar-based media company that has, according to Israeli officials, incited terrorism and harmed the Israeli military.

“We have brought to fruition an effective and swift tool against those who use freedom of the press to harm Israel’s security and IDF soldiers, and who incite terrorism during a time of war,” said Communications Minister Shlomo Karhi, promising that Al Jazeera would be banned from operating in Israel “in the coming days.”

The White House responded, criticizing the new law.

“We believe in the freedom of the

press. It is critically important. The United States supports the critically important work journalists around the world do, and that includes those who are reporting on the conflict in Gaza. If those reports are true, it is concerning to us,” said Karine JeanPierre, the White House press secretary.

Bans instituted under the new law are only effective for 45-day periods which can subsequently be renewed. The law will only remain in effect until July 31.

Karhi will have the power to institute bans on media networks that threaten Israel, provided that his order is first approved by the prime minister and the security cabinet, who must each be presented with ev-

idence of the network’s wrongdoing. As per the law, the government will be able to block access to a banned media company’s website, shut down media offices in Israel, and confiscate the company’s equipment that is in Israel.

Immediately following the law’s passing, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu banned Al Jazeera from operating in Israel.

In October, Kahri’s office said that there is proof that Al Jazeera “is assisting the enemy, broadcasting propaganda in the service of Hamas, in Arabic and English, to viewers around the world, and even passing sensitive information to the enemy” and asserted that Al Jazeera has, in the past, helped Hamas ambush IDF troops.

Three Wounded In Terror Stabbing

Three men, aged 25, 20, and 17, were seriously injured on Sunday

The Week In News

in Gan Yavne after being repeatedly stabbed by a 19-year-old West Bank Palestinian. The attack took place at the Friendly Mall.

All three victims were taken to Ashdod’s Assuta Medical Center, with the 25-year-old victim nearly dying on the way there. A day after the attack, the hospital announced that the 25-year-old and the 20-yearold were taken to Tel Aviv’s Ichilov Hospital and Petah Tikva’s Beilinson Hospital for neurosurgery due to severe head trauma. The 17-year-old boy was moderately wounded and underwent surgery in Assuta.

Security officers killed the assailant after he attempted to stab a police officer. The terrorist, who attacked

with two knives, was from Dura, a town in the southern West Bank.

Amir Cohen, the southern district police commander, stated that the terrorist came into Israel through a security barrier hole. As of now, it is unclear if the terrorist was an illegal employee at the mall, although Cohen has said that the knifeman had previously had an Israeli work permit. However, the permit, which expired in August, only permitted him to work in areas of the West Bank controlled by Israel but nowhere else.

After the terrorist attack, Itamar Ben Gvir, the national security minister, visited the scene of the crime and spoke of the importance of boosting police presence amid a rise in terror threats.

“We’re at war, and certainly the enemy has more motivation to harm us,” Ben Gvir said.

On the same day, an off-duty IDF soldier sustained minor injuries after being stabbed by a 28-year-old resident of Rahat named Naji Abu Freh. The terrorist was shot dead by another officer.

Haniyeh’s Sister Arrested

On Monday, the Israel Police said that a sister of Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh had been arrested on suspicion of contact with operatives from the terror group and supporting acts of terror.

The 57-year-old woman, who is “a relative of a senior member of Hamas,” was arrested in a joint raid with the Shin Bet that was dubbed “Early Dawn.” Sabah Avad al-Salam Haniyeh was living in Tel Sheva.

Police said that during a raid on the suspect’s home, officers found documents, media, telephones, and other evidence linking her to “seri-

ous security offenses.” Among the evidence reportedly uncovered was material that showed support for the October 7 massacre and encouraged terror operatives in the Gaza Strip to continue their activities.

Police also found hundreds of thousands of shekels in cash at the premises.

Southern District commander Superintendent Amir Cohen vowed that his forces “will use all the means and tools at its disposal, everywhere, in order to create deterrence at the same time as thwarting terrorist attacks, with the aim of ensuring the safety and security of the citizens of Israel,” according to the statement.

Ismail Haniyeh, the Hamas political leader, lives in exile in Doha, Qatar. His three sisters live in Tel Sheva and were married to Arab Israelis. Two are now widowed and had made illegal trips into Gaza in 2013 via Egypt. They were both given eightmonth suspended sentences for the visits in 2015. Later that year, Israel denied Haniyeh’s request that his sisters be permitted to attend his

The Week In News

son’s wedding in Gaza.

The three sisters all have Israeli citizenship. Some of Haniyeh’s relatives – including a niece, mother-in-law, daughter, and granddaughter – have all been treated at Israeli hospitals.

Spain Will Recognize Palestinian State

During a Middle East tour this week, Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez told the media that Spain will recognize Palestinian statehood by July. He had made the comments on Monday in the Jordanian capital, Amman, on the first day of visits to Jordan, Qatar and Saudi Arabia.

According to the reports, Sanchez said he expected events to unfold in the conflict ahead of the European Parliament elections in early June and highlighted ongoing debates at the United Nations. Sanchez noted that he believed there would soon be

a “critical mass” within the European Union to push several member states to recognize a Palestinian state as well.

Sanchez’s statement comes as Riyad Mansour, the Palestinian Authority’s envoy to the UN, said on Monday that the Palestinian Authority planned to apply for full UN membership at the body’s Security Council, where the United States, Israel’s staunch ally, has veto power. A 2011 PA application for full membership is still pending because the 15-member council never made a formal decision.

Malta is president of the Security

Council for April. Malta’s UN ambassador, Vanessa Frazier, said she had yet to receive a formal request for action from the PA.

Malta, along with Slovenia and Ireland, was said by Sanchez at a March 22 European Council meeting to have agreed to “take the first steps” toward recognizing statehood declared by Palestinians in the Israeli-controlled West Bank and Gaza Strip. At the time, Sanchez said he expected the recognition to happen during the current four-year legislature, which began in 2023.

Israel subsequently accused the four countries of offering a “prize for terrorism” that would reduce the chances of a negotiated resolution to the Gaza conflict.

Arab states and the EU had agreed at a meeting in Spain in November that a two-state solution, establishing an independent Palestinian state, was the solution to the Palestinian-Israeli conflict.

Since 1988, 139 out of 193 UN member states have recognized Palestinian statehood.

She’s So Write

Zita Miller is, hands down, a real champion. The ten-year-old is the winner of the Zaner-Bloser National Handwriting Contest, which announced its winners on Monday.

“I like handwriting because it’s

The Week In News

like art, drawing swirls and vines and curls,” Miller, who took top honors in the fifth grade category, said, adding that she enjoys penning original mystery stories by hand.

Her winning submission was one of the contest’s 80,000 entries.

Namuun Baasanbold, from Carmel, Indiana, was named grand champion in the first grade category and said she likes to give handwritten “love notes” to family and friends.

“Writing by hand makes me feel special,” she enthused.

Experts say that writing by hand – whether in print or in cursive – is helpful for learning, benefiting memory, cognitive development, reading comprehension and fine motor skills.

Judges in the handwriting contest analyzed the mechanics and precision of the letters students wrote, including their shapes, sizes, slant and spacing.

Contestants were asked to write the sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” because it includes the entire alphabet, as well as a sentence explaining why handwriting

makes them a better reader and writer.

Baasanbold said she was “over the moon” to find out she won.

“I screamed and celebrated with friends at a restaurant with pizza and an appetizer and a sundae for dessert,” she said.

Her prizes include a trophy and $500 — plus bragging rights.

“I like to use my handwriting to impress people,” she said.

Write on!

A Human Fountain

A Chinese man drank 1.1 gallons of water and brought it back up to serve as a human fountain for a record-breaking 5 minutes and 51.88 seconds.

Ma Hui, 35, downed the water and used his muscle control to regurgitate the liquid and spray a stream of water from his mouth for almost six minutes. The previous record holder, Ethiopian

Kirubel Yilma, was only able to do it for 56.36 seconds.

Guinness World Records said the rules for the longest time to spray water from the mouth category required the water from Hui’s mouth to be spurted or sprayed, with no dribbling allowed. The record attempt ends when the stream breaks or stops.

Water spouting is a trick involving precise muscle control and has been performed since at least the 17th century.

Magician David Blaine has studied the trick. When he learned that a Liberian man was able to do it, he spent five years tracking the man down. It turned out that the man was a 35-yearold security guard named Winston Carter.

“[He] learned how to do it for survival,” Blaine recalled. “Because they were so poor where he grew up and lived in Liberia, so that when they went to the well they could only bring back a certain amount of water. But if he could put the water inside [his stomach] and fill the bucket up he could go back with more.

“I flew there immediately and convinced Winston to show me how to do it. I came back and started playing with this concept that water can be stored in your stomach, you empty out the system, then I realized you can put a gallon of water in your stomach. He could put out fires with it or whatever.”

Sounds like this trick really holds water.

The Week In News

Hot Dog!

Junk food isn’t allowed to be advertised on the London Underground, and it isn’t a laughing matter for Ed Gamble, a comedian.

The jokester was told to change a subway station poster for his new standup show because the image of a hot dog violated the transit network’s ban on junk food advertising.

Since 2019, Transport for London has banned ads for foods that are high in fat, sugar and salt from the city’s

subway trains and stations, buses and bus shelters. It also bars advertisements that promote unhealthy or unrealistic body shapes

The poster for the show, “Hot Diggity Dog,” showed a mustard- and ketchup-smeared Gamble beside a half-eaten hot dog on a plate.

Gamble complied with the directive and changed the hot dog on the poster to something a bit more healthy – a cucumber.

Gamble, who is diabetic and cohosts the “Off Menu” food podcast, said he could see the point of the ad rules, which are intended to help curb obesity in children.

“But the new posters promote something way more harmful — the idea that cucumbers pair well with ketchup and mustard,” he quipped.

Woof!

Bridging the Gap

Planning a chol hamoed trip? This is not for the faint of heart.

Italy recently opened its highest

pedestrian footbridge – soaring 574 feet above a ravine in the region of Umbria.

It connects two picture-perfect locations: Sellano, a medieval village about an hour southeast of the regional capital Perugia, and Montesanto, a hamlet on the other side of the Vigi river in the Valnerina valley.

The walk – just under half a mile long – takes around 30-45 minutes to complete.

If you’re afraid of heights, this trip is not for you. There is a 223-foot in-

cline rising up towards Montesanto. The so-called “ponte tibetano” (“Tibetan bridge”) adds extra thrills with its paving slats set apart – known as a “discontinuous tread.”

With around 1,000 steps to cross the nearly half-mile bridge, set down your foot in the wrong position and you can go sliding. But harnesses are worn to keep visitors attached to the bridge and ensure that the journey is not their last.

Mayor of Sellano Attilio Gubbiotti told Italy’s Corriere della Sera newspaper that the idea behind the bridge was to “revitalize the area and stave off depopulation.” Eastern Umbria, where the bridge is located, was at the heart of a series of devastating earthquakes in central Italy in 2016. He is hoping the bridge will bring business to the area.

Interested in taking the leap? Only 90 visitors are able to be on the bridge at a time. Reservations are currently open until May 5. Visitors must wear suitable footwear and must be around 4 feet tall.

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Political Crossfire

A Politician Who Was Also a Role Model

In a life full of accomplishments, Joe Lieberman will almost certainly be best remembered as the answer to a trivia question. Even more significant was his role as a supporting player in one of the most intense political controversies as well as one of the great “what ifs” in American history. But as much as the 2000 presidential election – during which he became Al Gore’s running mate and the first Jew ever to achieve such a distinction – and its denouement over recounts in Florida was his moment in the sun, his life should be recalled with honor and affection for much more than that.

As someone who not only followed his career but covered him as an editor in his home state of Connecticut for several years, I got to know him not just as a public figure but as a person. And, as such, I can say without reservation that he was that rare breed of politician who was a mensch and a role model, both as a Jew and as an American.

Lieberman, who died last week at the age of 82, was a career politician who served a total of 40 years in various elected positions, including state senator, Connecticut state attorney general and U.S. senator. That’s the sort of résumé that nowadays is regarded by many, if not most, Americans with distrust. While politicians have always been viewed with some wariness, by the third decade of the 21st century, we’ve come to associate much of our governing class with some of the worst characteristics of our public life: mendacity, avarice, cynicism, a lack of principles and utter contempt for the people they are supposed to serve.

A Faithful Jew

Lieberman was a throwback to an earlier, gentler era of American politics when those who engaged in public ser -

By Jonathan S. Tobin

vice were not all assumed to be liars, crooks and scoundrels. He was a man who was not prepared to change his positions merely to gain a momentary advantage or win elections. We took him as we found him, and when that wasn’t good enough to retain office, he thanked the voters for the privilege of serving them and moved on.

And what made that truly remarkable was that it was also reflected in the public observance of his faith. By the time Lieberman was first sworn into the U.S. Senate in January 1989, there had been many other Jews who had served in that body, as well as in the U.S. House of Representatives and prominent federal positions. Some of them, though not all, expressed pride in their heritage and faith. But what made Lieberman special was that he observed Shabbat and kept kosher while performing his duties. And he did so without fuss or making any special demands on the institution. As he wrote in his 2011 book The Gift of Rest,

if he had to walk to the Capitol or walk home from it, then that’s what he did.

More than anyone else, Lieberman normalized not just being a Jew in the public square but being a faithful Jew. And when then-Vice President Al Gore chose him to be his vice-presidential nominee in 2000, he seemed to embody the truth that not only was America a safe haven for Jews as well as the freest and most successful Diaspora community in history, but also a place where a Jew could aspire to the highest offices in the land.

As the first Jew on a major party presidential ticket, he’s the answer to a trivia question. And who knows how or whether history would have been different if he had been elected. The election that year was narrowly decided when George W. Bush defeated Gore by 537 votes in Florida, thereby gaining an Electoral College victory. The nation has since grappled with other such controversies and even worse arguments about

them than those that transfixed the nation while that outcome was disputed in recounts and litigation. It only ended when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Florida couldn’t – as Gore and Lieberman wished – only conduct recounts in the counties where they were looking for more votes. To their credit, the two men conceded, and the nation moved on.

Principle Over Party

We can never know whether America or the world would have been better off had Gore and Lieberman been in charge in the years that followed, or how they might have handled the challenges related to the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001 (the theorem of the fallacy of the predetermined outcome notwithstanding) and the dangers of Islamist terror.

But in the years to follow, as Lieberman continued to serve in the Senate, he showed the country what it meant to put principle over party.

Lieberman was the kind of moderate Democrat that today is almost, if not completely extinct: a consistent liberal on domestic issues but a hawk when it came to national security. As such, he supported Bush’s decision to go to war not just in Afghanistan, where the 9/11 Al-Qaeda plotters had used as a base, but also in Iraq, to topple the tyrannical, terrorist-supporting regime of Saddam Hussein.

For Lieberman, Iraq was a central issue. He believed in the American mission to make the region and the world safer by eliminating the rogue regime in Baghdad. He also thought it right to try to foster democracy in the Arab world.

Initially, he was one of many Democrats to take this stand. But as the war in Iraq dragged on amid a bloody and costly Islamist insurgency, most in his party, including then Sens. Joe Biden and Hil-

lary Clinton, changed their tune.

Lieberman’s support for the war was probably not the only reason why his bid for the 2004 Democratic presidential nomination fell flat. In the 1990s, centrists like Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Joe Lieberman dominated the Democratic Party. But in the 21st century, it drifted to the left, and Lieberman’s foreign-policy stands were no longer appealing.

Unlike most veteran Democrats, Lieberman didn’t shift his positions to be in sync with the party’s angry and increasingly more liberal, if not leftist, grassroots. He stuck to his position on Iraq, and it led to Connecticut Democrats rejecting him when he ran for re-election to the Senate in 2006. The fact that he was able to win in November by running as an independent testified to his centrist appeal.

In the years that followed, he again fell out with his party when he chose to support the presidential campaign of his friend and Senate colleague John McCain in 2008 rather than support Barack Obama, the man that Democrats had chosen. Although he was reliably liberal on other issues, such as helping to provide the slim margin of victory enabling the passage of Obamacare in 2010, it made no difference. Democrats

never forgave him for the sin of backing a Republican and an unpopular war, and in 2012, when the presence of a viable Republican candidate rendered another independent run unlikely, he left politics and returned to private life.

Willing to Take a Stand

The thread of his life was consistent. He was known for taking strong, principled positions and sticking to them, even when they weren’t popular. That could be seen in his active participation in the civil-rights movement in the 1960s by volunteering to help blacks register to vote in the still-segregated South. It was also evident in his September 1998 speech on the floor of the Senate when he broke with most in his party by condemning President Bill Clinton’s lies and marital

infidelity in the Monica Lewinsky affair as “immoral,” “disgraceful” and “damaging to the country.” It continued not just with his stand on the Iraq war but after his time as an active politician when he joined the “no labels” movement that called for a return to centrist governance in a time when rabid and extremist partisanship had come to dominate both major parties.

He was known for taking strong, principled positions and sticking to them, even when they weren’t popular.

Lieberman was no plaster saint; he was a pragmatic workaday politician. Some of his fellow Connecticut Democrats resented him in the 1990s. And he was not always in the right.

vails, in 2024, the only thing left in the middle of the road is roadkill. In today’s bifurcated political culture, one has to choose one side or the other. Lieberman’s time as a political player had passed. But if that is so, it doesn’t reflect well on American society.

Whether you agreed with him on the issues or not, anyone who knew him could testify to the fact that he was a genuinely nice man in a profession not so well known for that trait. Unlike most politicians, he was comfortable in his own skin, and didn’t seem to act and speak as if gaining every bit of possible publicity and getting even with foes were his primary goals in life. He was decent and respectful to political foes and the press alike.

Faith in the Public Square

One Jewish Democrat bitterly complained publicly that Lieberman had tried to keep him from running for statewide office in 1994 when the senator was up for re-election because he claimed that he didn’t want too many Jews on the ballot, though it turned out that the only Democrats who won that year in the state were the Jewish candidates. That same year, others in the state noted ruefully that while Lieberman was a supporter of school choice that would have allowed funding for families who choose private and religious schools, he failed to help those working for passage of a law that would have implemented such a process in Connecticut. That groundbreaking effort failed by only one vote in

He remained a supporter of the Iraq it last year on th anniversary of the invasion long after other backers of the effort conceded it was a terrible mistake. Contrary to his assertion, our collective memories of that disastrous conflict are not mistaken. Leaving aside the folly of trying to impose democracy on cultures that reject it, he never acknowledged (as other past backers of the war did) that while toppling Saddam was a good thing, it not only threw Iraq into chaos but allowed the equally sinister Islamist regime in Iran to become more powerful and dangerous.

His embrace of “no labels” independent politics reflected his basic moderation and political instincts. While we may long for an era where centrism pre -

The fact that he was a man of faith and a proud Jew was part of that decency. His rise in public life to the point where he might have been only a heartbeat from the presidency reflected a sea change in American politics, in which Republicans and Democrats believed that public practice of faith was a proper reflection of both the character of the American nation and protected by the Constitution. That consensus has faded, and the role of religion in public life has unfortunately become a source of controversy.

Still, the example he provided of living a fully Jewish life while serving in the Senate is especially important now as antisemitism is on the rise, and Jews are increasingly finding themselves worried about displaying their faith and identity in public. The fact that one of Lieberman’s last public utterances was to condemn his old colleague, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer’s disgraceful speech condemning Israel and calling for the ouster of its government, in an op-ed published in The Wall Street Journal showed how he was still putting principle –support for Israel and the idea of that being a bipartisan concept – first.

Throughout my career, I’ve met many politicians and learned that they are, as a group, like most people – a mix of good, bad and indifferent. But I’ve known none who was Joe Lieberman’s equal as a human being and a model of what we ought to want in a public figure as well as a source of pride to Jews. In a time when political decency and a willingness to befriend and work with members of the other party is out of fashion, we may not soon see his like again.

May his memory be for a blessing. (JNS)

Torah Thought Whispers

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

On the joyous day of the inauguration of the Mishkan, tragedy strikes. Nadav and Avihu bring an unauthorized offering and are consumed by fire.

One can only imagine the overwhelming grief their illustrious father, Aharon must have experienced. Yet, the Torah pithily states, ןרהא םֹדֹיו — and Aharon was silent. No more, no less.

Was he silent because he was simply ‘stunned’? Or perhaps it was a silence of acceptance of his fate?

There are many verbs that connote silence: השח ,קתש ,שרח, yet the Torah used specifically the root םמדֹ

Some suggest it alludes to the lowest in the four strata of life: םמודֹ — mineral, חמוצ — vegetable, יח animal, רבדֹמ — [speaking] human.

All other life forms when undergoing trauma, display a change in its form and whither, except mineral which remains static. Aharon did not even flinch, remaining steadfast in his absolute faithful acceptance of this fate, with even his physical and emotional demeanor never betraying that deep belief.

There is one version of the Targum that translates םדֹיו not as קיתשו — and he was silent, but as חבשו — and he praised

In truth the word חבש does not necessarily imply praise. Often it is used in the context of displaying calmness as in the verse in Psalms:חיבשמ — Who calms, םימי ןואש — the roar of the seas. (ח הס םילהת

That would indicate that Aharon did not simply remain stone-faced, but more significantly conveyed a positive aura of calm.

Where is this indicated in this simple word םדֹיו which intimates merely a stony silence?

The Sifrei poses a question. One verse tells us the Torah was given with ‘thunder and lightning’, yet when G-d spoke to Eliyahu, He did it with a לוק הקדֹ הממדֹ — still small sound.

Which one is it?

The Sifrei gives a cryptic response: “When G-d speaks everyone is silent, as it says, ומוד — Be silent, you island dwellers; the merchants of Zidon, the seafarers replenished you (ב גכ, and it says, םדיו — and Aharon was silent.” (חכ)

Clearly the Sifrei does not need to bring proof that הממדֹ means silence, as its very query is predicated on the intimation of silence in that usage. So how are these two verses relevant to the notion that when ‘G-d speaks

Authored by Rav Zev Hofstedter, head of Bais Horaah Ziv Ha’Halachah, KITZUR HALACHOS: PESACH clarifies hundreds of common and practical halachos of Pesach and Chol Hamoed in a clear and concise format. THE REVISED AND EXPANDED SEFER INCLUDES:

• The mitzvos of matzah, maror, arba kosos and the Seder With Pesach fast approaching, this sefer as well as KITZUR HALACHOS: YOM TOV AND CHOL HAMOED will help you properly prepare and experience the joyous Yom Tov of Pesach.

Torah Thought

everyone is silent’ when there were not any words ever spoken by G-d to cause Aharon’s silence?

In life there are times when events take a sudden turn, and we are stunned into speechless silence quietly trying to make sense out of what has transpired. We should never overreact, but choose to absorb the message, transforming it into a purposeful and meaningful reaction.

The context of the first verse quoted is the destruction of Tzur, a mighty commercial hub that supplied riches and merchandise to the surrounding lands and islands, and the bewildered, but contemplative island dwellers, who silently distill the consequences of Tzur’s downfall.

It is a process that first stuns but can only be understood if we do not let our emotions govern our response and concludes with a calmed acceptance of fate.

That is precisely the lesson of Aharon.

Aharon transformed shock into mindful contemplation and eventually to a calm and enthused expression of faith.

Perhaps that is the essence of the ‘still small sound’ — the subtle message from G-d which enthuses our positive response, because when we hear that ‘whisper’ we understand it is beckoning us to be close, even when to all appearances we might seem to be facing a catastrophe.

A recent divorcee, without children, described her painful loneliness several years ago during Pesach that coincided with the Covid pandemic, when those circumstances forced her to isolate and celebrate the seder alone. Despite her many anxieties and feelings of ‘inadequacy fused with panic of failure’, she was determined to ‘Just Do It!’, in her own words.

Pushing herself to dress up, set a

beautiful table, prepare her Haggadah with notes, she also set up an extra setting opposite her ‘to represent people alone in need of comfort and connection’.

Going through all the steps, she felt ‘like lava bursting from a volcano, lofty thoughts and grand feelings enveloped’ her. She was ‘at peace with herself, her past, the world, and prayed that this rare togetherness would extend into her post-Pesach life.

She writes, “I was grateful for my solo seder, my opportunity to connect with Hashem at my pace, with my impediments. Regardless of our riches, marital status, childlessness or more, I realized He loves all Jews and in return, we must serve him b’simchah.

“A Jew grounded in Hashem is never alone... Alone is a state of mind, not only a state of being unaccompanied.

But to be alone with Hashem, to surrender to His will, to embrace His dominion over my life and the universe, is an encounter of the highest order.» (Inyan — HaModia Weekly Magazine, Leah Levison, The Watershed Moment, March 24, 2021//Parshas Tzav/Pesach)

There is always a ‘still small sound’ waiting to be heard. We simply must put our ear to hear its music.

If only, in the image of Aharon, we would pay attention to its message, we would be equipped to face any challenge with calm and purpose.

The writer concludes appropriately from the sweet song of Shir Hashirim:

“I thought I would be forever alone but behold! He is standing behind our wall, observing through the windows, peering through the lattices” (2:9)

You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com

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Baltimore Weekday Minyanim Guide

Shacharis Mincha

Neitz Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] M-F

Ohel Yakov S-F

6:00 AM Shomrei Emunah Congregation M-F

6:10 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, Th

6:15 AM Kol Torah M, TH

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F

Shearith Israel Congregation M, TH

The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel M, TH

6:20 AM Agudah of Greenspring M, TH

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F

Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) S-F

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F

Kehilath B'nai Torah M, TH

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S, M, TH

6:25 AM The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel T, W, F

6:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring T, W, F

Chabad of Park Heights M-F

Darchei Tzedek M-F

Kehilath B'nai Torah T, W, F

Khal Bais Nosson M-F

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek M-F

Kol Torah T, W, F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F

Ohr Yisroel M-F

Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F

Shomrei Emunah Congregation T, W, F

6:35 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan) M, TH

Ohel Moshe M, TH

6:40 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan) T, W, F

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M, TH

6:45 AM B”H and Mesivta of Baltimore (Dirshu Minyan) S-F

Beth Abraham M, TH

Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue M-F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

Ner Tamid M-F

Ohel Moshe T, W, F

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim M-F

6:50 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH

Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] M, TH

Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh M, TH

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation T, W, F

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh M, TH

Derech Chaim M-F

Kol Torah M-F

Ohel Moshe S

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH

Shomrei Emunah Congregation M, TH

The Shul at the Lubavitch Center M, TH

6:55 AM Beth Abraham T, W, F

Kol Torah M, TH

7:00 AM Aish Kodesh (upstairs Minyan) M-F

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F

Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] T, W, F

Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) S

Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh T, W, F

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh T, W, F

Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue S

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek S

Kol Torah T, W, F

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah M-F

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S, T, W, F

Shearith Israel Congregation S, M, TH

Shomrei Emunah Congregation T, W, F

Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh M-F

The Shul at the Lubavitch Center T, W, F

Tiferes Yisroel M-F

7:05 AM Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) M, TH

7:15 AM Kedushas Yisrael S

Kol Torah S

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) S, T, W, F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

Ner Israel Rabbinical College S-F

7:15 AM Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim S

The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel S

Tzeirei Anash M-F

7:20 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH

Beth Tfiloh Congregation M-F

Kol Torah M-F

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH

Shomrei Emunah Congregation M, TH

7:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring S

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F

Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] S

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S-F

Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore S-F

Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh S

Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] S

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation S

Chabad of Park Heights S

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh S-F

Darchei Tzedek S

Kedushas Yisrael S-F

Khal Bais Nosson S

Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) S-F

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S, T, W, F

Shomrei Emunah Congregation T, W, F

7:45 AM Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F

Talmudical Academy S-F

Darchei Tzedek M-F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

Mesivta Kesser Torah S-F

Mesivta Shaarei Chaim S-F

7:50 AM Derech Chaim S

Ner Tamid S

Ohel Moshe M-F

8:00 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F

Beth Abraham S

Darchei Tzedek S

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek S

Kehillas Meor HaTorah S

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Ohel Yakov S

Ohr Yisroel S

Pikesville Jewish Congregation S

Shearith Israel Congregation S

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F

The Shul at the Lubavitch Center S

Tiferes Yisroel S

Tzeirei Anash S

Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah S-F

8:15 AM Kehilath B'nai Torah S

Kol Torah S

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

8:20 AM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S-F

8:30 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) S-F

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Ohel Moshe S

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F

Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh S

8:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

9:00 AM Aish Kodesh S

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S

Beth Tfiloh Congregation S

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation S

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah S

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim S-F

9:15 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

9:30 AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

9:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

10:00AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Mincha Gedolah Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/Tzemach Tzedek

12:30 PM Kol Torah

12:50 PM One South Street, 27th Floor, Baltimore, MD 21202

1:00 PM 10055 Red Run Blvd Suite 295

Milk & Honey Bistro 1777 Reisterstown RD

1:25 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

1:45 PM Ohel Moshe

1:50 PM One South Street, 27th Floor (M-Th)

2:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)

Big Al @ The Knish Shop Party Room

Kol Torah

Market Maven

Reischer Minyan - 23 Walker Ave 2nd Floor

2:15 PM Pikesville Beis Medrash - 15 Walker Ave

2:30 PM Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh

Tov Pizza Mincha Minyan

Ner Israel Rabbinical College

Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building)

Shearith Israel Congregation

2:45 PM Kollel of Greenspring

3:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

3:05 PM Kedushas Yisrael

3:15 PM Hat Box

4:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th)

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

5:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th)

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

5:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th)

6:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th)

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

6:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th)

7:00 PM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

14 Min Before ShkiAh Kol Torah

Mincha/Maariv Before Shkiah

Aish Kodesh

Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Agudah of Greenspring

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

Beth Abraham

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation

Darchei Tzedek

Kehillas Meor HaTorah

Kehilath B’nai Torah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill’s)

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

Ner Tamid

Ohel Moshe

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi]

Ohr Yisroel

Pikesville Jewish Congregation

Shearith Israel Congregation

Shomrei Emunah Congregation

Shomrei Mishmeres

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim

The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel

The Shul at the Lubavitch Center

Tiferes Yisroel

Maariv

8:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

8:45 PM Darchei Tzedek

Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina)

Ohr Yisroel

8:50 PM Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building)

8:55 PM Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh

Maariv continued

9:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Arugas Habosem

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Shomrei Emunah Congregation

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim

9:20 PM Kol Torah

9:30 PM Agudah of Greenspring

Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Kedushas Yisrael

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

9:40 PM Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi]

9:45 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

Kollel Erev Birchas Yitzchok (Luries)

Kollel of Greenspring

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's)

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi]

Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah

9:50 PM Aish Kodesh

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh

Ohel Moshe

10:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Darchei Tzedek

Kehilath B'nai Torah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Shearith Israel Congregation

Shomrei Emunah Congregation

10:05 PM Kol Torah

10:10 PM Ner Israel Rabbinical College

10:15 PM Derech Chaim

Khal Bais Nosson

10:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

11:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Agudah of Greenspring - 6107 Greenspring Ave

Agudath Israel of Baltimore - 6200 Park Heights Ave

Ahavat Shalom - 3009 Northbrook Rd

Aish Kodesh - 6207 Ivymount Rd

Arugas HaBosem - 3509 Clarks Ln

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim - 3120 Clarks Ln

Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore - 6823 Old Pimlico Rd

Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh - 6618 Deancroft Rd

Beit Yaakov - 3615 Seven Mile Ln

Beth Abraham - 6208 Wallis Ave

Beth Tfiloh Congregation - 3300 Old Court Rd

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation - 6602 Park Heights Ave

Chabad of Park Heights - 3402 Clarks Ln

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh - 3800 Labyrinth Rd

Darchei Tzedek - 3201 Seven Mile Ln

Derech Chaim - 6229 Greenspring Ave (Weekday) Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue 6611 Greenspring Ave.

Kedushas Yisrael - 6004 Park Heights Ave

Kehilath B’nai Torah - 6301 Green Meadow Pkwy

Kehillas Meor HaTorah - 6539 Pebble Brooke Rd

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek - 6811 Park Heights Ave

Khal Bais Nosson - 2901 Taney Rd

Kol Torah - 2929 Fallstaff Rd

Kollel of Greenspring - 6504 Greenspring Ave.

Machzikei Torah - 6216 Biltmore Ave

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah - 6500 Baythorne Rd

Mesivta Kesser Torah - 8400 Park Heights Ave

Mesivta Shaarei Chaim - 3702 Fords Ln

Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah - 7000 Rockland Hills Dr

Neuberger, Quinn, Gielen,

Health & F tness

The Joy in Your Marriage

By Malka Klaver

Joy is a funny thing. Many people think of it like one of those dandelions spinning in the wind; grab it quickly, before it gets away. Then, once you catch it, you cradle it carefully, ensuring you don’t ruin its delicate nature or lose it. Then, just as quickly, you look down – and it’s gone.

Attaining and maintaining joy in life is complicated. Why is it so hard? Because life is hard. It’s difficult to feel happy when we see and experience pain. So, does that mean joy is elusive and limited to those not experiencing challenges or pain?

Joy is not elusive. It is not limited to people in a specific socioeconomic group, intelligence level, or life circumstance. Anyone and everyone can have joy in their life. Some people have more barriers and challenges, which make it more complex, but it’s within everyone’s reach.

How do we experience more joy, specifically in our marriages? Marriage is a gift. It can bring so much joy and connection. It can also bring tremendous pain when there is distance and conflict. Infusing our relationship with more joy can ignite our marriage and our life in a way that no other relationship can.

When we have joy in our marriage, many other challenging areas of our lives become less daunting. The problem is many of us are waiting to experience joy as if it’s that dandelion flying in the wind so daintily. We do not need to wait for joy and grab it when it comes our way. It’s not a place we land when we have achieved a certain status financially or socially. Joy is a feeling we can all feel, if we understand how to acquire it.

Dr. Brene Brown, noted author and researcher, discusses joy in many of her books. She explains a very practical way to tap into joy amidst the vicissitudes of life. Dr. Brown found that joy unequivocally comes through practicing gratitude. Not simply having a “gratitude attitude” – we need to express gratitude.

Expressing our appreciation for the relationship is critical in increasing joy in our marriage. For example, you may turn to your spouse and say, “I had such a wonderful Purim with you. I love going through the holidays together. I’m so lucky to do all this with you!” A moment. A powerful infusion of joy in your marriage. By stopping and expressing gratitude, you will

Be careful, though – even once you nail the gratitude practice piece, you have to be OK with allowing yourself to feel joy. Dr. Brown discovered in her research something shocking: one of the most uncomfortable and scary feelings for people was joy. People will make endless sacrifices to attain joy for themselves and their families, yet never actually feel joy.

Why?

Because they never lean into the feeling of joy.

In simple terms, it’s hard to feel joy. We acknowledge that something is going well, and then the what-ifs begin, or what Dr. Brown calls, “foreboding joy.” The feeling of dread that follows a joyful moment.

So often, we are afraid to lean into joy because we don’t want to experience the fear of losing it.

experience the joy that was there all along.

The reason people search high and low for joy is not because it doesn’t exist in the commonplace. It’s because it needs to be brought to the surface. Think of it as a scratch-off lotto. The winnings are right there, but they need a little scratch to be seen. So many opportunities come up in our marriage that can be so much more if we acknowledge and express our gratitude for one another. Then we can experience joy together. It may feel cheesy or insignificant, but try it. You will see a difference.

Let me give you an example, based on a practice we do in our home often. We’re sitting at the Shabbos table, and everything is going well. There’s good food, good conversation, laughter, and zemiros. I turn to my family and say, “I’m so lucky to have such an incredible family. Thank you, Abba, Elisha, and Esther. Thank you, Hashem!”

What thoughts can follow such a moment? “Um…now what’s going to happen? This won’t last. Ugh, why did you have to say something, Malka?!” Sound familiar? So often, we are afraid to lean into joy

because we don’t want to experience the fear of losing it. So what do we do? Gloss over countless moments in our lives that could have been moments of connection and joy. What’s the solution, you ask? Not to tell yourself not to be afraid; fear is an emotion you must be ready to feel if you want meaningful relationships in life. Accept the fear and the instinct to move out of joy.

Lean into it. The more you do this, the more you will get used to it. I’ve been doing this practice many times, and there still can be a voice saying, OK, now what’s going to happen? But it gets lower and less intense. And what becomes even louder and more intense is the feeling of joy you experience with the people who matter the most.

Look for moments in your marriage where you can practice gratitude with one another and then accept the emotions that follow. Don’t move on to something else (like your phone). Just be in that moment – no need to search for dandelions drifting in the wind. Scratch the surface a tiny bit and reap the priceless reward of connection and joy in marriage.

Malka Klaver is a certified marriage coach and marriage educator. She provides individual and group coaching, as well as yearly workshops, to educate and guide women to a closer, more connected marriage. She also hosts a podcast titled, “Best Friends for Life,” where she discusses relatable challenges and practical tools to enhance marriage. For more information or to contact her, please visit malkaklaver.com.

To Raise a Laugh

Where Do Our Taxes Go?

Tax season is now upon us (you’re welcome), and if you’re like everyone else, which I assume you are, you’re sighing and wondering why you have to pay taxes.

No one likes doing taxes. This is a very busy time of the year, and no one wants to sit down and take a test that we didn’t even study for.

“Can I just copy off the guy next to me? Write down what he wrote?”

I think that’s called cheating on your taxes.

So I’m thinking that it might help to know exactly what your money is going to. And that way, you can say things like, “My taxes pay your salary.” People always appreciate when you point that out. Especially cops. Because that way they know.

Digression aside, if you look at the list of things that the government really does provide us, you’ll realize that without taxes, we wouldn’t have many of the conveniences of modern life, such as constant road work, getting in trouble for moving too quickly, being nervous when we’re leaving a store empty-handed even though we’ve done nothing wrong, non-Jewish kids’ education, and of course space travel, which you personally are not allowed to do but you are allowed to pay for.

TRASH PICKUP

This service is very convenient, because we personally have no idea where they take the trash.

“The dump,” you’re saying, all self-satisfied.

Oh yeah? Where exactly IS this “dump”? I don’t really pass it on the way to anywhere. I’m never in my car with the kids and say, “Hey, look everyone! The dump! Roll up your windows!” For a really long time, I pictured Staten Island, but I’ve been to Staten Island, and I haven’t passed it there either. Maybe it’s not right on the highway.

If we had to take care of our own garbage,

then once or twice a week, we would load the cans into the car, roll down the windows, and figure out where on earth the dump was, and we’d probably have to wait in line once we got there, and we would all dump it wrong, and things would drip all over our cars. Most people would just let it pile up and then, before Pesach, they would stuff their car with garbage, floor-to-ceiling so they have no rear visibility, and pray they don’t have to make a short stop.

Let’s face it – if not for trash pickup, we’d be flushing foil pans down the toilet.

LIBRARIES

Libraries are awesome. Without libraries, every time people wanted to read a book, they’d have to buy it, and nobody would read books.

Wait. That already happens. Does nobody know about libraries?

And my wife, for example, goes through a book per Shabbos, which could get pretty expensive, and the only way to slow her down is to have company, which is more expensive than buying her a book.

But thanks to the library, you can sit down at the table on a Shabbos afternoon with a piece of cake and a good book and think, “I wonder how many people read this in the bathroom?”

SNOW REMOVAL

Every time it snows, someone shows up to clean the streets, rain or shine, and we don’t even think about it. We just complain: “I’d just finished shoveling out, and he shoveled me back in!” We don’t realize that if not for him, everyone would be responsible for half the width of the street in front of their homes, and driving after a snowstorm would be like walking down the sidewalk when only half your neighbors have shoveled.

FIRE FIGHTERS

Or basically any emergency service that has to let the whole town know every time they’re driving to work, so you know you’re getting your taxes’ worth. Though I suppose it’s better than calling various privatized companies

By Mordechai Schmutter

when you have an emergency and trying to find out their rates.

And they even use cost-cutting measures to save the taxpayers’ money, such as installing fire poles in their stations, because all those guys running down the stairs at once was making the insurance go up like crazy.

They also show up at every community event and give out fire hats. What other organization does that? Bakers? Sailors? Astronauts?

I guess funeral homes give out yarmulkes, but that isn’t really the same.

SPACE TRAVEL

What would we do without space travel? I literally do not know. Space travel has existed my entire life. What did our forefathers do?

Space travel is very important for the future, because we’re running out of places to put garbage. And you wouldn’t want to have to pay for this yourself, would you? Of course, it would probably be cheaper if every country in the world got together and paid for one space program, but that will never happen, as long as there’s also defensive spending.

And space travel costs a lot of money, because they have to pack things that they don’t normally pack. Normally, the only people who have to fly with tiny packets of self-heating food are Jews.

NATIONAL PARKS

But not any of the good parks, like amusement parks. Just parks that you can go to to look at niflaos haboreh.

Wait. If I’m looking at niflaos haboreh, why am I paying the government?

We’re paying them so they should keep the land the way it is and not develop it. It sounds like a protection racket.

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.

Pediatric Grief

By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

When a child loses a parent, their entire world is turned upside down. Pesukim in the Torah abound about the vulnerability of orphans and how mistreatment of an orphan is from the worst sins one can commit. As a result, the adults in their lives – the surviving parent, grandparents, aunts, and uncles –put all their efforts into helping the child grow, thrive, and overcome this incredible challenge. This is admirable and vital, and the day-to-day routines are necessary to help the child feel a sense of normalcy and security.

However, sometimes being overly focused on everything being normal may be at the expense of allowing the child to grieve. The child may get the message that they should not grieve their loss and that their responsibility is to just make believe that everything is okay. This might seem to work in the short term, but it can be harmful to the child’s long-term emotional wellness.

Certainly, the adults are doing their best and do not mean any harm. The problem is that there are many misconceptions regarding pediatric grief, and these may cause well-meaning adults to cause harm to grieving children.

Children grieve in different ways than adults, and they also tend to grieve in spurts over many years. Their natural resilience will often push them to act normal, but random events will trigger a memory of their loss, which may elicit a seemingly disproportionate response. This is absolutely normal and is what you would expect from a grieving child. The adults should allow the child to express their feelings even if it makes them uncomfortable.

Children are also going through specific stages and lifecycle events in their childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. There include birthday parties, the first day of school, bar and bas mitzvahs, weddings, and the list goes on and on.

Each of those events are trigger points for recurring grief which can manifest itself in many ways, ranging from sadness to anger and withdrawal. This starts from a three-year old’s upsherin who will be aware that one of his parents are missing all the way into adulthood when they can’t share the news of the birth of their own child with a deceased parent. This is normal and necessary. As the child goes through each stage and event, he or she needs to process the loss and build yet another layer of resilience. These spurts of grieving after many years might not make sense to the adults in the child’s life. Nevertheless, it is completely normal.

Another major issue in pediatric grief are the cues that the child picks up from the adults about their expected behavior. When a child wants to verbalize their feelings about their grief or talk about their parent, it is almost always beneficial for them. However, the adults often send signals to the child that they are better off not talking about it. The child will pick up on these cues and keep their feelings to themselves. This robs them of their ability to grieve.

A child also needs to maintain a relationship with their deceased parent. It is very healthy to help them memorialize their parent by sharing memories with them and talking about their parent in the most normal way possible. Even if they were very young at the time of the death and have very little actual memory of their parent, they will still have a strong desire to connect with their parent any way they can.

Children have incredible abilities to heal and thrive in spite of the incredible hurdle placed before them by the death of a parent. They have a special place in Hashem’s heart, who is the Father of Orphans (Tehillim 68). With the appropriate help and intervention, they will grow up into thoughtful, empathetic, and incredible adults.

This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp. org

Steinsaltz Daily Study App & Portal: Continuing A Legacy of Removing Barriers to Torah

By Rifki Orzech

Rav Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz was a man of many hats – rabbi, teacher, school principal, philosopher, prolific author, and publisher – who left an indelible mark on our world. A modern day renaissance man, his authorship eventually extended to the Talmud, mysticism, philosophy, sociology, and historical biography.

Rav Steinsaltz firmly believed in every Jew’s right to own their inheritance. For the Torah to be studied by growing numbers of Jews, he taught, we have to figure out better ways to transmit it in a rapidly changing world. In 1965, he founded the Israel Institute for Talmudic Publications, where the Gemara was translated into Hebrew, English, French, Spanish, and Russian. Each project brought many classics – from the basic to the esoteric

– to the Jewish bookshelf. His kabbalistic The Thirteen Petalled Rose, published in 1980, has been translated into eight languages, and has sold 300,000 copies worldwide.

Like a Torah text where the protagonist’s name alludes to his essence, there is a compelling duality in his name. Stein, Yiddish for stone (even was added later), indicates the “human Rosetta stone” he would become; after all, even native Israelis might struggle with the inscrutable Hebrew found in even the most basic texts, such as the Prophets. And, he had a gentle (adin) personality, with a passion for teaching, and an affinity for translation and commentary.

A teacher who sees his students’ challenges, is reminiscent of Hillel, the Talmudic sage renowned for his

accessibility and patience 2000 years ago. Coincidentally, Hillel was also the catalyst for making Torah learning accessible to the average man. His obstacle was the beit midrash entrance fee. One wintry day, he could not afford to get in, so he climbed up to the skylight for the daily lecture. It started to snow, and some time later the rabbis inside looked up and saw a man covered in snow above their heads. They thawed him out, and eventually, other sages did the same for their entrance policy; anyone who wished to study, could now come and learn Torah.

To teach, you have to really see the person and their context. Rav Adin believed that everyone is naturally curious, but you have to remove any friction – whether pressure or condescension – that stops them from achieving literacy in their own heritage. This understanding, and his “see everything through the prism of Torah’’ perspective, pushed him to take on the task, intentionally including photographs and historical tidbits in his Gemara to spark interest. He sent the invitation, and wisdom-seeking Jews from all over the world accepted it. Today, the Steinsaltz Center, which distributes Rav Adin’s works, is remaking this invitation for a new generation. Today, it is about accessibility, portability, motivation… and so much more.

The Steinsaltz Center has launched an attractive, user-friendly app that gives the solo learner foundational sifrei kodesh and multiple options for daily study cycles on their devices. Tanach, Mishnah, Gemara, Rambam and Tanya sit in the Library section (the monumental Mishnah and Rambam projects are mid-translation, with a due date set for three years.)

What makes the app unique is its motivational format devised to outsource consistency and motivation; you tailor your non-judgmental accountability buddy to your learning goals. It won’t bring the coffee but it will remind you, and then reward you, with achievement medals when you hit those goals.

Currently, the user can bookmark text, track material in the history section, toggle between languages, and set commentary and translation placement on their screens. Rav Steinsaltz appears in an audio and video section that will eventually grow to a much larger archive. Rabbi Meni Even Israel, Rav Adin’s son and the director of the Steinsaltz Center in Jerusalem, is enthusiastic about future app developments. Describing students’ future multimedia experience with artificial intelligence integrations, he said “You will be able to ask complex questions, and answers will be aggregated from the 5,000 hours of Rav Steinsaltz footage as well as tens of thousands of his articles.”

With the Steinsaltz Daily Study App, anyone can gain fluency in our shared language as well as a deeper understanding of ancient legal concepts in just a few minutes a day. The app is currently free of charge to encourage Torah learning as a merit for our IDF soldiers. Tens of thousands have already taken advantage of this opportunity.

Beginning a learning cycle at this time speaks to our resilience; even when the worst has happened, we find the strength to visualize what we want to achieve in three, seven, or ten years down the line, as we fortify ourselves with the same wisdom that our ancestors delved in for thousands of years.

For more information, download the Steinsaltz Daily Study app or visit www.steinsaltz-center.org

Tech Triumphs

Friends are for Play Time

We have controlled screen time at our house.

When my kids want to play a game or shop online, I allow them to do so with my supervision. I admit I probably allow more screen time than I should, but that’s life.

I got a call from my son’s friend’s mother one day, asking if they could watch some cartoons together on their computer. I didn’t mind the actual show, as I would allow my son to see it at home, but something bothered me about it. Why were they watching together? Being with friends is for play time! When my kids are bored or need a distraction, I allow them to watch an approved video, but this was not what friend time was for.

As Told to Rebbetzin Sara Gross

had to come home anyway. When he got home, I told him that friend time was play time. No computer time with friends. He was very receptive, and I breathed a sigh of relief. One battle won!

DID YOU KNOW? In our increasingly internet connected world there has been a recent surge in internet capable cars. Cars with telecommunications were introduced to the market over 20 years ago but had limited features, such as GM's OnStar vehicle assistance. Since then, the technology has evolved, and in recent years, practically every new car has either built-in internet service, can go online with the car's Wi-Fi, or

An internet connected car has the same capabilities as a smartphone. Through the infotainment system, as they are called, you can download and install apps, including an internet browser that can browse the internet completely unfiltered.

Even owners of older model cars without built-in internet, should beware of aftermarket backup cameras.

net browser, which can then be displayed on the backup camera screen.

Solutions to filter or block a car’s internet are currently in development. Many cars can have the Wi-Fi removed by a mechanic so it’s no longer able to connect to the internet. However, there are a number of cars, like the Tesla, that require internet to operate, and the solutions for those are very limited.

Before buying a car, or a backup camera, make sure you know what internet capabilities it might have. If you can opt to not have an infotainment system, you are less likely to encounter issues. Feel free to reach out to TAG Baltimore for advice on your

WHY I GAVE UP BUDDHISM FOR JUDAISM

Rabbi Dov Ber Cohen spent six years living in Asia, immersing himself in local culture and delving deeply into Eastern philosophies. From orphanages in Sri Lanka to silent meditation in Thailand; from fasting in India to temples in the Himalayas; and from extreme martial arts in Korea, China, and Japan. He eventually made his way to Israel, where he discovered the depth, beauty, and wisdom of his religion. He made Aliyah, got semicha, and is now a senior lecturer at Aish HaTorah World Center in Jerusalem. Rabbi Cohen spoke about Buddhism, Hinduism, the meaning of life, how to be happy, and how it all led him back to Judaism.

In our interconnected world, the power of the media cannot be overestimated. Internet websites, social media, radio, newspapers, and magazines increasingly control the fate of politicians and governments, world finances and morality. In the chareidi world, the messages conveyed by religious media can shape and strengthen emuna, enrich charitable efforts, and ferment new shul and yeshiva policies. Therefore, it was a great privilege to interview the highly influential Rabbi Eli Paley, owner of Mishpacha Media Group and publisher of the Mishpacha Hebrew and English weekly magazines.

“Hashem runs the show, not us.”

regretting, rather thinking how amazing his life had been. He started studying Buddhism and spent hours in the library reading Buddhist texts.

Eli Paley is a businessman and social activist. He is chairman of the Paley Family Foundation which supports and promotes Torah Centers and social initiatives in the Charedi community. A member of the Jewish Funders Network, he is active in several philanthropic organizations.

We discussed the Mishpacha’s origin, the challenges he is faced with policy decision making, and the overall goals he hopes to attain through the publication.

ELI PALEY

CEO OF MISHPACHA

Eli was born in in the Mattesdorff neighborhood in Yerushalayim. His great-grandfather and grandfather arrived in Eretz Yisroel in 1925 to establish the Slabodka Yeshivah in Chevron. Later his grandfather became the assistant to Rabbi Herzel, the chief rabbi of Israel.

Eli himself is an alumni of Chevron yeshiva. When he married his wife, a graduate of Michlala in Bayit Vegan, his dream was to continue learning. However, a few months after his marriage, his brother mentioned a new monthly publication called Mishpacha was looking for someone to work as a distributor in Yerushalayim for a day and a half once every 5 to 6 weeks. With flex hours like that, Eli took the job, earning twice as much as he would be for an entire month in a kolel. Financially independent, he continued to learn diligently.

Rabbi Cohen grew up in a traditional Jewish home. After dinner on Friday night, he went clubbing. He studied philosophy at Manchester University and in his third year of university, he realized that no one was happy and no one was living particularly meaningful lives. When he asked people how they were, the top five answers were “can’t complain”, “getting by”, “hanging in there”, “could be worse”, and “not too bad”.

The key difference between Judaism and Buddhism is that Buddhism says life is like treading water so meditation is let’s go and sit on the beach and calm down. Buddhists would say stay on the beach for the rest of your life. Judaism says no, you’re meant to be in the water, you’re meant to be doing things but it’s very important to be able to do things in a very calm, healthy, and present way. It is more like making a lifeboat in the water. The main key to Jewish spirituality is balancing spiritual and physical being in the world.

His father, Rabbi Yehuda Paley, bought the Mishpacha Magazine business. To help his father, Eli got involved in the editorial angle of the magazine figuring out how it could make a unique contribution to the field of journalism. He left learning to pursue his new mission to inspire and influence the Chareidi community. It is that idealism that still drives him in his work so many years later.

While Mishpacha is well-received around the world, the goal of Mishpacha is to serve, elevate and be the voice of the Chareidim, particularly in Eretz Yisroel. The real customers are not the advertisers but the audience. Mishpacha seeks to portray an independent voice which is unaffiliated with any political party. In the early years, in the chareidi world of pollicization, this was perceived as a weakness. However, the years have passed, and this freedom has become one of the most salient factors of its success.

Mishpacha was the first Charedi publication to give the same respect to the Sephardi and Ashkenazi societies, attempting to create a sense of unity. Over time, this adherence to equality and ahavas Yisrael became the secret to the business’ success.

Before his grandfather died at the age of 100, he said when you get to 90 you don’t have a lot to look forward to so you start looking back on your life and realize you should have spent more time with your family, and working out what is your purpose, and how to be happy. He told Rabbi Cohen he regretted things he did not do but Rabbi Cohen could live his life so that he would not reach 90

Mishpacha’s quest in elevating frum society is done through sincere, honest writing. Mishpacha does not engage in pretending that society is perfect. While recognizing the great achievements and accomplishments in the frum world, Mishpacha will tackle even unpleasant issues, albeit in an extremely sensitive way.

After finishing university with a degree in philosophy the first most random place Rabbi Cohen went was Sri Lanka. He started teaching English in a small village and worked in an orphanage. There was no electricity or running water but he had never felt more at home. He felt a purpose beyond himself. In the Western world, life is about yourself and you are defined by your career. He felt so alive and found the children there were happier than most of his privileged friends. It was eye-opening to witness the children’s gratitude to appreciate what they had and not try to become something. From Sri Lanka, he went to Thailand for 18 months and then

to a smaller island off the coast of Korea. Thinking about his grand father’s advice he just wanted to do amazing things and train to live life with purpose. He taught English everywhere he went. He was in India for a year and a half, doing yoga, volunteering in orphanages, and hiking in the Himalayas before going to Nepal for a month and then China followed by Japan for a year. Sixteen years ago he went to Israel for 3 weeks and has not left Israel since.

kind conscious world. People told him to give classes about how bad he doesn’t think they are bad, just them and he would rather teach how beautiful Judaism is.

The topic of poverty among Charedim and the poor economic situation in the Israeli community lay heavily on Eli’s heart. As part of the solution, Eli started the Charedi Institute of Public Affairs to engage with the government with hopes to resolve this in a way that will allow the Charedi society to retain its Torah values.

While American Jews may have difficulty in relating to the issues overseas, Eli, as a born and bred Israeli is certainly in touch with the masses. He recalls the issue he faced during his kolel years when distributing the magazine. The government regulation forbid a yingeman from receiving Kollel benefits if he had any other source of income. Therefore, he was forced to register his side job under his wife’s name, a desperate solution used by many. In his publication, he attempts to broker a better solution.

Another example of difficulties that Israeli chareidim face is the draft. Mishpacha discussed population statistics -- one out of four children is Charedi– and how the army and Charedi society can possibly reach a solution.

The paper is faced daily with Hashkafa decisions that have far-reaching effects on our society. The issue of printing pictures of women in the magazine has been debated back and forth in many forums. When Hilary Clinton was running for President, Mishpacha shocked many readers by publishing a blurry photo of Donald Trump and Hilary on the cover. “We just wanted to see how people would react,” Eli confides.

The office did receive some complaints, but the Gedolim the magazine consults advised them to include her since there was a real possibility Hilary would indeed become president. However, in Israel, an anti-Mishacha publication blasted Mishpacha , claiming they were breaking the rules of modesty and Torah by publishing a picture of Hilary Clinton.

This became a real issue because it was very hard for Eli to justify in his mind why they could not print modest pictures of women, particularly considering how hard it seems to be to explain to ba’alei teshuvah why women are “ignored.” In order to make Mishpacha, often one of their first exposures to Yiddishkeit, more palatable, Eli is comfortable with his decision.

Rabbi Cohen works at Aish, opposite the Beis Hamikdosh where Yaakov’s dream took place. Judaism has a beautiful middle road between the East (don’t eat a lot, don’t get married, don’t have money) and the West (you can eat nice food just make sure its kosher and make a brocha before and after eating, it’s okay to have money and be rich just give at least 10% to help others, you can have physical intimacy with the right person in the right way at the right time and). There is an amazing ladder of spiritual and physical coming together. Torah is the guidebook to do this alchemy of bringing physicality and using it for spirituality.

Today Rabbi Cohen would thank his grandfather for his inspiration. He has not mastered life but he knows where he wants to get, and how to get there and is committed to doing that.

He’s on a big mission: to expose our brothers to true Torah values, and he bears the responsibility seriously. He often employs a different way of thinking, a creative model, a stretch and a twist, that can support our lifestyle while at the same time show that we care about the Israeli economy, security, and its welfare system. “Instead of just complaining about why we are not understood,” Eli explained during the interview, “we must ask what we can do in this field. While we have to make sure that our kids are not too exposed to the big world, the (outside) world exists, and we have to face reality and come up with practical solutions. “

Before going to Tsfat to start learning, he had a list of why he did not like Judaism but then he started learning beautiful deep ideas from Judaism. Judaism is meant to be taking us towards an experience of infinite consciousness. Many people think that the rules are limiting, however, the rules are what help you express yourself. It is only within the rules that you can be free. Friends told him when he was becoming frum he was unlucky because he used to be free, could eat anything, smoke, and do what he liked and now he was restricted. However, freedom is not doing anything you like. You are a slave to your physical desires, your ego, and your society. Freedom is knowing what the goal is, knowing the rules that are going to help you reach that goal, and being free to follow those rules. It is only within the rules that we can truthfully express ourselves.

Rabbi Cohen has been a Ba’al

Eli is proud that Mishpacha does not try to be sensationalist. Rather he makes an effort to keep his editorial policies responsible and sensitive. “If you’re going to do it le’shaim shamayim” Eli ended, “you’ll have disyata d’shmaya to do it right.”

Rabbi Cohen’s message for the world is to “chill out”. Hashem runs the show, not us but we have an important role to play and if you have a good attitude then you will have a good life no matter if it’s sunny or rainy.

Rather than hiding his head in the sand, he is ready to take on the problems in our neighbourhoods and cities, working with the authorities instead of against them. Slowly, he believes, we will be able to build better trust.

Honorable Mentions

Honorable Mentions

See winners on back cover!

Forgotten Her es The Army Legend You Never Heard Of

By Avi Heiligman

This column has shared many stories of those who have gone above and beyond in combat with their stories gone largely unnoticed by the general public. Many accounts that are told in the Forgotten Heroes column are from Jewish service men and women from around the world but there are many other overlooked heroes whose dedication and sacrifices have helped their countries in difficult times of war. Here is one of those incredible tales that is history not to be forgotten. Master Sergeant Llewellyn Chilson, of Dayton, Ohio, was personally awarded seven decorations by President Harry Truman for actions during World War II. Chilson was with an anti-tank company, 2nd Battalion, 179th Infantry Regiment, 45th Infantry Division and served with the division, nicknamed the Thunderbirds, while they fought in several campaigns. Their first stop was at Oran in North Africa before partaking in the invasion of Sicily in July 1943. Then it was off to Italy where the Allies were trying to break out of the Anzio beachhead. The sergeant was wounded by shrapnel on February 15, 1944. Two days later, Chilson was taken prisoner with three other Americans near Aprilla, Italy. The four Americans were forced to work as litter bearers for the Germans but made their escape during an artillery barrage. On their way back to American lines, they captured four enemy soldiers and brought back valuable intelligence on German positions. This information led to an offensive in which forty Germans were captured with little harm to American troops. For these actions, Chilson was awarded the Silver Star and Prisoner of War Medal.

Chilson then took part in Operation Dragoon, which was the invasion of southern France. In October, he captured 25 Germans while taking a hill. By November, the regiment was operating in northern France when, on November 24, his platoon stopped in the face of heavy

machine gun fire as well as a German roadblock. Chilson moved forward alone and outflanked the position. He then threw two grenades and opened fire on the machine gunners. Two Germans were killed, while nine others surrendered. This action cut off German access to the road and led to the capture of the town. On November 30, he was cited for defending an indefensible position.

On March 26, 1945, Chilson was a platoon sergeant in Company G when they were crossing the Rhine River in Germany. His platoon leader had been wounded, and Chilson quickly assumed command. He was noted for his bravery and aggressiveness while remaining calm under pressure as they attacked the Germans on the bank of the river. With determination, he killed eleven Germans while capturing 225 enemy soldiers. Additionally, he destroyed a vehicle carrying ammunition and two machine guns. His actions led to two more machine guns and three anti-aircraft vehicles to be destroyed.

The brave platoon sergeant continued his heroic actions, earning a Silver Star on March 31. German flak vehicles, machine guns and infantry soldiers opened up on Chilson’s company while they were entering a town. He ran back a few hundred yards and jumped on top of a tank. Under his orders, the tank began eliminating enemy targets while he remained in an exposed position. Six Germans were killed and seven were captured, and due to his bravery, Chilson had once again led his company to success on the battlefield.

Heavy fighting continued even in the last few weeks of the war. On April 25, Chilson’s platoon entered a German town and observed enemy movements. He moved a jeep into a position where he took out two flak guns and a heavy artillery piece and killed the crew of another artillery gun. At this point, Chilson had killed forty German soldiers. Another flak gun then opened fire on American

reconnaissance troops. Thinking quickly, Chilson picked up an abandoned German motorcycle and located six more flak guns. The motorcycle was shot out from under him, but he continued to fight. He rolled over, jumped to his feet, and threw a grenade at the gun position. This eliminated the crew, and he then directed tank fire to take out the remaining five enemy guns.

Two days later, on April 27, Chilson’s unit was assaulting the town of Nueberg, Germany. Machine gun fire from a second story position stopped their advance. Disregarding his own safety, Chilson ran across the street and up the stairs of the building. He threw a grenade into the room and killed two Germans. The other eight Germans of the machine gun crew surrendered to Chilson, and his platoon was able to enter the building without any more problems. They then assaulted another house where they were halted by machine gun fire coming from the courtyard. Chilson tossed a phosphorous grenade into the courtyard and attacked the position. A bullet had hit his right hand, so he held his carbine in his left hand. In this action, he killed two more Germans and a third surrendered.

Chilson was one of the most highly decorated soldiers in the U.S. Army. At the awards ceremony, President Truman called it “the most remarkable list of citations I have ever seen.” However, Chilson wasn’t awarded the Medal of Honor by the War Department even though it was approved by a four-star general.

After the war, Chilson reenlisted in the army to train National Guardsmen and in 1961 survived a C-124 Globemaster plane crash that killed 24.

The highly decorated soldier retired as a master sergeant in 1964 with a long list of decorations that include the Distinguished Service Cross with two Bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, the Silver Star with two Bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, the Legion of Merit, the Bronze Star with one Bronze

Oak Leaf Cluster, the Purple Heart with two Bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, the Army Commendation Medal, and the Prisoner of War Medal. Chilson displayed dedication and sacrifice and will be remembered for his incredible feats of bravery during the bitter battles of World War II.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

Master Sgt Llewellyn Chilson

President Truman pinning seven medals to Chilson’s uniform

Troops of the 45th Infantry Division in a transport bound for Sicily, June 1943

TJH Centerfold

Déjà Eclipse

Yes, there are many forms of déjà vu

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Déjà boo: The feeling that I’ve been frightened like this before.

Déjà do: The feeling my hairdresser has given me this cut before.

Déjà eau: The feeling I’ve smelled this perfume before.

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Déjà fu: The feeling I’ve been kicked in the head like this before.

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Déjà moo: The feeling I’ve drank this milk before.

You Gotta

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Déjà who: The feeling that I forgot your name before.

Déjà crew: The feeling that I always hang out with the same three people.

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Déjà new: The feeling that for a second I smell that new car smell again.

Déjà stew: The feeling that I ate this cholent before.

Déjà goo: The feeling that I bought my child slime 100 times already.

DUH-ja-vu: The feeling that the answer was so obvious, that you surely should have known it before. DUH!

Be Kidding Me!

Sunday: Greg, Monday: Ian, Tuesday: Greg, Wednesday: Ian,

Thursday: Greg, Friday: Ian, Saturday: Greg

It’s the Gregorian calendar!

Solar Eclipse Triva

1. When was the last total solar eclipse in the U.S.?

a. April 8, 2022

b. November 8, 2016

c. August 21, 2017

2. During a solar eclipse, what happens?

a. The Earth passes between the sun and the moon

b. The moon passes between the Earth and the sun

c. The sun passes between the Earth and the moon

d. The moon passes between the sun and the Earth

3. What is it called when the sun, the moon and Earth are aligned?

a. Celestial Alignment

b. Synchronic Solarization

c. Perfected Orbital Gravitation

d. Syzygy

4. What is the darkest part of the shadow cast during a total solar eclipse called?

a. Penumbra

b. Umbra

c. Corona

d. Chromosphere

5. What is the longest amount of time that a

Riddle Me This

What comes after the sun rises, after it sets, but not during the day or night?

solar eclipse can last?

a. 2 minutes and 18 seconds

b. 7 minutes and 32 seconds

c. 47 minutes

d. 106 minutes and 14 seconds

6. What is it called when, in the seconds before totality occurs, it seems like light is dancing on the sides of the moon?

a. Baily’s Beads

b. Dark Side of the Moon

c. Lightning Hoppings

d. Lunar Luminations

Answers:

Wisdom Key:

4-6 correct: You probably want to name your kid Syzygy!

2-3 correct: Your solar system IQ is seventeen and a half moleds with 4 chalokim short of a whole.

0-1 correct: You looked too closely at the Baily’s Beads…fried you a bit.

Answer: A comma!

Notable Quotes

“Say What?!”

I don’t know anybody in America who’s got a family who agrees with him on everything.

- Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr., sharing how he feels having family members disapprove of his presidential run

I’m currently out of the country, but if what I’ve written here qualifies as an offense under the terms of the new act, I look forward to being arrested when I return to the birthplace of the Scottish Enlightenment.

- Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling after posting a “politically incorrect” tweet that violates Scotland’s new woke hate crime act which makes it a crime to “mis-identify” people

I just don’t believe raising penalties is ever a deterrent on crime.

- NY Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie (D) at a press conference

If you just keep dealing with the penalties, what happens after people get arrested? You’re still only worrying about what happens after something has already happened.

- Ibid.

How many more police officers and how many families need to make the ultimate sacrifice before we start protecting them?

- Stephanie Diller, eulogizing her husband NYPD Officer Jonathan Diller

I’m sure that many elected officials will attend PO Diller’s funeral, shed a few crocodile tears, and prominently seat themselves for a good photo opportunity.

- SBA President Vincent Vallelong

Adrienne Adams, Jumaane Williams and their cohorts should stay home. They detest cops and have no appreciation for what they do. They should stay home and not pretend they are grieving. They have caused enough heartbreak and destruction.

- Ibid.

We don’t want you here. You’re not wanted here. You have blood on your hands. If you want to do something, change the bail laws.

- Officer Diller’s uncle to Gov. Kathy Hochul when she came to the wake

Israel was the target of a brutal attack, and this type of thing requires a response that sets the example. Israel is not committing any excess.

- Argentinian President Javier Milei in a wide-ranging interview with CNN

You can’t expect much from someone who was a terrorist murderer.

- Ibid., talking about Columbia’s new radical-left President (Gustavo) Petro who is a former guerilla fighter

Presently, Biden prefers the line of Rashida Tlaib and Sinwar to the line of Benjamin Netanyahu and Ben Gvir. I would have expected the president of the United States not to take their line.

- National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir in an interview with The New York Times

If the Veterans Administration wants to use AI in VA hospitals to help doctors diagnose patients, they would first have to demonstrate that AI does not produce racially biased diagnoses.

– Vice Pres. Kamala Harris stating that AI needs to prove that it is not racist before it can become a tool used by the federal government

To prevent the possibility of being attacked in your home, leave your fobs at the front door because they are breaking into your home to steal your car; they don’t want anything else.

- A Toronto police spokesman advising people to make it easier for car thieves to locate their car keys within their homes so that thieves will only steal people’s cars and not attack them

I don’t think that any of our aid that goes to Israel to support our greatest ally, arguably in the world to defeat Hamas, Iran, and Russia…we shouldn’t be spending a dime on humanitarian aid. It should be like Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Get it over quick.

- Republican Rep. Tim Walberg (R-MI) at a recent townhall, drawing outrage from the people who advocate for the genocide of Israelis with chants of “From the river to the sea…”

Any other nation that was adjacent to a neighboring nation that was bombing it with rockets, sending commandos over to murder its citizens, pledging itself to murder every person in that nation and annihilate it, would go and level it with aerial bombardment. But Israel is a moral nation. So it didn’t do that. Instead, it built an Iron Dome to protect itself so it would not have to go into Gaza.

- Robert F. Kennedy Jr., in an interview with The Jerusalem Post

You know what’s worse than getting rejected from PhD program at your dream school? Having your entire higher ed system bombed to oblivion.

– Tweet by Gazan Omar D. Foda

That’s why I made sure that none of the PhD programs I applied to had tunnels beneath them or rocket launchers in the classrooms.

- Response Tweet by S. Rozenblatt, Ph.D.

Pres. Biden and his minions have politicized our judicial system by prosecuting one of their political opponents right before an election.

That’s the sort of thing that happens in countries whose Powerball jackpot is 287 chickens and a goat... This is a dangerous precedent.

- Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA) on Fox News

This demonstrates that migrants go out and do risky jobs at midnight. And for this reason, they do not deserve to be treated as they are by certain insensitive, irresponsible politicians in the United States.

- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador after the Baltimore bridge collapse which resulted in the death of six immigrants who were working on the bridge

Israel Invades Al-Shifa Hospital Against What It Said Were

Palestinian Militants.

- A New York Times headline

“What it said were Palestinian militants.”

Question: Who else could the IDF have a “a two-week battle” with? I mean if they weren’t militants, why would it take two weeks? If they weren’t Palestinians, shouldn’t the NYT be chasing down that story?

– Tweet by Jonah Goldberg

Your question presumes at this very early hour that it was a deliberate strike, that they knew exactly what they were hitting, that they were hitting aid workers on purpose. There is no evidence of that. I will also remind you, sir, that we continue to look for incidents as they occur. The State Department has a process in place. And, to date, as you and I are speaking, they have not found any incidents where the Israelis have violated international law.

- NSC Spokesperson John Kirby, who is one of the more supportive voices for Israel in the Biden White House, responding to a reporter who suggested that the strike that killed aid workers was a war crime

Get over yourself. Those are the two choices.

- Hillary Clinton, when asked by Jimmy Fallon what she would tell someone who is upset at the presidential choices in 2024

I’m only 40 years old, times two, plus one.

- President Joe Biden, joking about his age at a recent campaign event

School of Thought

By Etti Siegel

Thoughts on Pesach and how it affects the little people in our care.

Change

We are entering a time on our calendar which brings about a lot of change. While some children love finding a kitchen covered in foil and tasting all the new Pesachdik foods, other children really struggle with the fact that everything they are used to is now different and they can’t have their predictable meals (cereal, noodles and cheese, pizza), and it really throws them off kilter.

Even children going to hotels for Pesach that offer foods that almost taste like the real thing discover that it is not the real thing, and they get quite discombobulated.

It is normal for small children (and some not-sosmall children) to fear change. The biggest issue is when children feel like they don’t know what is happening next. They dislike and often fear the lack of predictability.

Kristen Rinehart, director of behavioral health services at Muskingum Valley Health Centers and owner of Changing Minds, explains that all new experiences have the potential to make a child fearful. Children often misunderstand what they are told, sometimes absorbing only half the statement, so they might think that the current state of affairs is the new reality or start creating “what-if” thoughts that lead them to thoughts about what could go wrong.

Since children feel safer when their world is predictable, now, a few weeks before Pesach, begin talking about all the changes that will be coming up in a fun and positive way.

“We can eat Cheerios now, yum, but on Pesach we have different food for breakfast. Won’t that be fun? What kinds of food will we have?”

“I love Pesach! For a few days we will have such special treats! We will have…”

“Oh, look! I bought _____ special for Pesach! Where can we put it so we don’t use it now but we can take it out and have it on Pesach?”

Change is a natural occurrence in life, and we want our children to embrace change instead of being fearful.

Some parents have shared with me that they have a special game box of games and toys they take out once a year along with their Pesach dishes. Others tell me that they make sure to purchase one new game for the holiday.

Celebrate the change with your children, and remember that they often will misread cues. They might misread the stress of preparing for the upcoming yom tov as fear or unhappiness and take it as an indication that there is what to be afraid of!

Thoughts on Pesach and how it affects the big people in our orbit.

Stress seems to be synonymous with Pesach prep. Suddenly, we have so much to do, and sometimes we begin barking orders to the older children and our spouse. When children don’t want to be home during this time, this might mean it is time to rethink our values and what we want our children to remember about this time in their lives.

It is important to have our older children help for Pesach, but we should remember to set them up for success. Just like I counsel teachers to state expectations clearly for classwork and projects, we should do the same with Pesach prep at home. If they can choose the jobs from a list, that offers them a feeling of autonomy. If they know exactly what the expectations are for each job, that helps with self-confidence.

Even families with full-time help and who are going away should try to figure out what their children can do for Pesach, as there is no greater feeling than entering a yom tov when you were more than a spectator and a guest!

Years ago, a close friend shared with me that she went to speak to Rav Zelig Epstein, zt”l, and asked him how to ensure that her kids would grow up to be kind and caring people. He told her to make sure they were exposed to those less fortunate and to help them. She encouraged her boys to collect on Purim for the needy families she knew about, and then they quietly helped distribute those funds. She made sure to have her children, girls and boys, visit those who needed help cleaning, watching children, and more. And her kids are impressive, caring, sensitive adults raising children of their own today.

Taking a page from that story, when my kids were young, I connected them with families in the neighborhood to be “mother’s helpers.” It made them feel so good to hold a baby and give some attention to the little kids, and the moms got a little reprieve. One of my granddaughters is doing this now, too, in her neighborhood. The boost it gives the child who is assisting far outweighs what she actually does for those she is helping. (Shout out

to those wonderful families who let my children “help” you. I hope it really was helpful!)

Letting our children be givers has long-term ramifications.

Pesach is a wonderful time to get your children to be on the giving end. Too often, children are on the receiving end.

It also helps them define themselves as givers; a wonderful self-definition to own.

Gratefulness

Let us keep the words “thank you” on our lips as the people around us try to be of assistance. Proper thanks encourages more helping, and even if their attempts actually make you more work in the short run, in the long run, they will become more and more adept at helping, and then you will truly be grateful for their assistance. If you are quick to criticize, and you discourage their help now, you will never get the pleasure of seeing them grow to be the coworkers they could be. Make the goal “good enough” and not perfection, and watch everyone around you beam at how helpful they have been!

I work on all of these points every day for myself and work with the teachers I coach on this as well. If we all take these lessons to heart, allow our students and children to help more in the classroom and in our homes, be more involved in the preparation of upcoming events, and we allow them to own some of the tasks we set out to do, we will be surrounded by truly enjoyable people and less entitled children. I saw this when I had classroom jobs, and I saw it as I shared my responsibilities with my children… and I see this being duplicated in classes and homes all across the USA.

When given the chance, children want to be good and helpful. As Dr. Ross Green, author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School, famously says, “Kids do well if they can.” Let us help them be successful by giving them tasks they can manage and being genuinely appreciative of the effort they put in.

Wishing you a happy countdown to Pesach, Etti

Mrs. Etti Siegel holds an MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. She is an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning, is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech Magazine and The Journal for Jewish Day School leaders. She will be answering your education-based questions and writing articles weekly for The Jewish Home. Mrs. Siegel can be reached at ettisiegel@gmail.com.

Dating Dialogue What Would You Do If…

Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

Dear Navidaters,

I have to say how much I love reading your column. I enjoy all the different perspectives, and it just has become a part of my Shabbos relaxation. I never thought I would write in, but there’s a first time for everything, right?

I have been divorced for two years. My ex-husband and I were a terrible match from the beginning. Well-meaning friends and family members kept encouraging the shidduch. I was a bit older, and I guess was getting worried that I would never get married and have children and so, going against my own better judgment, I listened to everyone’s insistence that things would be OK and that love grows. Well, things were not OK and love did not grow. I did have children with him and for that I will be forever grateful and can actually see yad Hashem in the marriage.

I have spent the last two years engaged in intensive therapy and going to Al-anon where I am learning to shed myself of my codependency and get in touch with my own inner voice. I can now make boundaries and don’t obsess over whether or not someone is mad at me. I believe I have finally shed the “good girl” mentality that was shoved down my throat from my family of origin and yeshiva education.

I am at such a loss currently. I would like to get remarried one day. I am petrified of winding up in a similar situation. I am petrified of losing all my hard work and emotional independence, of losing myself in someone again to the point that I don’t know who I am. I am also scared of bringing a man around my children or chas v’shalom getting divorced again, which seems to be somewhat of a common occurrence these days.

There is a man that I speak with regularly and we go out. I guess one could say we are “dating.” I know we are; I just can’t accept what is happening. He is wonderful and knows about my hangups and traumas and is a pure source of support. He would like to come out as a public couple and begin to blend lives...introducing our children etc. And I just can’t seem to pull the trigger. I am already in therapy and speak about this a lot. I was wondering if you had any insight or advice or even chizuk for me. I’d appreciate it so much.

-Leah*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

The Panel

The Rebbetzin

Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

Good for you for sharing your vulnerability with him and with us. Kol hakavod for exploring this deeply in therapy.

You have made great progress in your journey. You have looked at yourself, you have looked at your past, and you are focusing on the positive that came out of it.

Your fears about the future are normal. It is normal to be afraid of trusting yourself and making a wrong move in committing to a marriage partner after having an unsuccessful marriage.

I would suggest that you continue therapy and very slowly begin what cognitive behavioral therapists call exposure therapy. Begin to be a couple in small increments. Your comfort level will rise as

your experiences will strengthen you. At the same time, continue the “talk therapy.” Bring him into the therapy room at some point, too. Let him share his concerns and past with the two of you and see if there are issues for him to air and work through.

B’hatzlacha!

The Shadchan

It sounds like you have been through so much, and you have really done the work to come out the other side a solid, healthy, and well-rounded person. PTSD is real, and there is absolutely no way around it. You do not want to announce your relationship because then it becomes real. In some ways, you would

rather keep it this precious secret that only you and him know about. If nobody knows about it, and the relationship ends or something catastrophic happens, the damage is not far-reaching. Additionally, there will not be the “All-Eyes-On-Me” element. This is the element where one feels like they are stepping out on a balancing beam between two large towers. There are those that are watching you, almost expecting you to fall. These are the people who either never believed in you, put you down in the past, or have always been skeptical of you. Your biggest fear is having their eyes on you again. Perhaps these are the people you have worked so hard to make boundaries with. You have come to a plateau of normalcy within the guidelines of these boundaries but bringing a new man into the picture will lead to the need for new, custom curated boundaries. There almost inevitably will be updated negativity and comments from these people, whether they are said with words or

Tell yourself every single day: “What if you fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”

merely the looks on their face.

I know this is all giving you a pit in your stomach and you want so badly to avoid it. But you must think of the alternative, Leah. The alternative is keeping quiet about it forever, thereby avoiding all of that discomfort, but depriving yourself of getting married again. Does avoiding it solve the problem or is it merely a BandAid? You seem to want to try to get married again, and even have an amazing guy you are currently seeing who wants

Michelle Mond

things to progress. Tell yourself every single day: “What if you fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” Take this opportunity as the ultimate challenge: putting into practice all you have learned in therapy and codependency Al Anon. Have faith in yourself. You know that there is room for both being vulnerable and taken care of in a relationship, as well as being capable and independent; one does not disqualify the other.

Keep these things in mind as you progress in your relationship as things become more and more public and real. You can do this!

The Zaidy

Dr. Jeffrey Galler

You have gone through a very tough experience, but, baruch Hashem, you seem to be evolving and growing in a very healthy manner. At this point in your life, you are quite right to be very, very cautious before remarrying.

I came across a very sobering and surprising statistic. In the United States today:

• 41% of first marriages end in divorce.

Pulling It All Together

The Navidaters

Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

Dear Leah,

Thank you so much for writing into the panel. And thank you for being an avid reader. I think it is absolutely commendable that you have engaged in your self-growth and awareness and healing journey since your divorce through therapy, Al-Anon and likely other avenues as well. A lot of people don’t understand how Big T Trauma a divorce can be. All the emotions –not only yours, but those of your children – financial restructuring, infinitely more responsibility, changes in social status amongst other changing factors are nothing short of overwhelming. To do “the work” always requires self-exploration, something that unfortunately some people never do. To walk away from a marriage pointing a finger (even if there are many warranted fingers pointed) misses the entire point. And look at you! Doing

the work! I am mucho impressed! Be proud of yourself! What an example to set for your children as well! Wow!

Let me say that if you didn’t have concerns about getting married a second time, I’d be more concerned. The fact that you are concerned means that you have your eyes wide open and are going to be cautious about this. When I work with or see couples jumping into second marriages (especially with kids involved), I do raise an eyebrow. It takes time to lay the foundation for a second marriage, if not for the adults, then for the comfort of the children. And you are correct. There are many second divorces. It’s not easy to blend families, and finances can get sticky.

Here’s what I will say.... No one can tell you whether or not you should get

• 60% of second marriages end in divorce.

• 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

These numbers are counterintuitive. You would think that after experiencing a failed marriage, people would learn from their mistakes, be wiser, be more mature, and be less likely to suffer a divorce once again.

Why do 2nd and 3rd marriages so often fail? According to a Good Housekeeping opinion piece:

“Money, intimacy, and in-laws. These ‘big three’ issues are the primary problems that plague most first marriages. These same issues also impact subsequent marriages—but even more so. The money problem becomes even more troublesome in second marriages due to child support and spousal maintenance payments.”

So, what should you do? There is no

Anyone who gets married (or does anything in life) is always taking a risk.

definitive answer.

But, obviously, continue to be cautious, take things slowly, and prioritize what will be best for you and for your children. And, since you seem to have done extremely well with your trusted therapists, why not continue to seek their guidance? Perhaps it would be helpful to schedule some pre-marriage counseling sessions together with your boyfriend.

Best wishes!

married again. Some people really don’t want to, and that is a fair choice. And some people really want to find love and have a beautiful blended family. And that is a fine choice as well. It seems that you have found a potentially wonderful partner, Leah. Someone who is supportive and listens and who is kind. I suggest you and your boyfriend begin couples counseling, sooner rather than later, to have these discussions with a trained third party. Those sessions for second timers are invaluable. You will discuss your fears, your dreams and hopes. And through the sessions, you will hopefully learn more about your boyfriend and where he is holding. You will learn “how” to do this. The practical pieces.

Anyone who gets married (or does anything in life) is always taking a risk. Remember that. There are no guarantees. Remaining alone is safe. I understand that. No one wants to put children through a second divorce or experience the trauma from their own

pasts. Remaining alone guarantees remaining alone. Trying with a new partner is a risk. We all know couples who are divorced twice, and we all know second-time couples who have beautiful, blended families and share beautiful partnerships. Hopefully through the therapy process, you will find some safety in your new partnership and begin to consider coming out as a couple. At some point, your boyfriend is going to need this, and it is completely understandable to want to share your relationship and integrate into your life. So let’s hold some space for him, too.

If we don’t move forward, we are stuck. You get to decide what direction you are moving.... toward peaceful, safe, single mom life, with no threat to the serenity of your life and home. Or, taking the plunge and risking your peace for potential marital bliss.

Wishing you all the best, Jennifer

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

Straight to the Plate

By Menuchah armel

Photography & Food Design: Mirit Hatav

Two-Color Cabbage Salad

Yield: 20 servings | Gluten free

A wonderful blend of cabbages & color, this recipe is a great addition to any meal or simcha.

Ingredients SALAD

> 1.1 lb. (500 g) purple cabbage, shredded

> 1.1 lb. (500 g) white cabbage, shredded

> 3 scallions, sliced

> ½ cup slivered almonds, toasted

DRESSING

> 5 Tbsp. oil

> 2 Tbsp. vinegar

> 3 Tbsp. sugar

> ½ tsp. salt

Preparation

1. Combine salad ingredients in large mixing bowl.

2. Top with dressing ingredients and toss until fully combined.

3. Serve immediately.

TIP: Add dressing as late as possible to this salad so that the cabbage retains its delicious crispiness.

Broccoli Kugel

Yield: One 9x13 kugel | Gluten free

A classic dish that brings a healthy balance to a traditional Shabbos meal.

It also adds great color to the table.

Ingredients

> 24 oz. frozen broccoli, slightly thawed

> 3 onions, diced and sauteed

> ¾ cup mayonnaise

> 5 eggs

> 1 ½ tsp. salt

> Dash of pepper

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350° F.

2. Line a 9x13 pan with parchment paper.

3. Using the S-blade of a food processor, chop broccoli.

4. In a large mixing bowl, combine chopped broccoli with onion.

5. Add mayonnaise, eggs, salt, and pepper, and mix until fully combined.

6. Pour mixture into prepared pan.

7. Bake for 45 minutes or until golden brown.

TIP: You can easily substitute cauliflower for half or all of the broccoli.

Salmon with Dill, Honey & Mustard

Yield: 8 servings | Gluten free

Salmon is a versatile fish that can be prepared in a variety of ways. This recipe is wonderful and festive. Served as an appetizer or as a main course, it is sure to be a crowd pleaser.

Ingredients FISH

> 1 whole fillet of salmon (or 8 individual slices)

> Salt and pepper, to taste

> 3 sprigs fresh dill, chopped SAUCE

> 2 tsp. lemon rind (optional)

> 2 Tbsp. lemon juice

> ½ cup mustard

> ½ cup honey

> 2 Tbsp. water

> 1 tsp. garlic powder

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350° F.

2. Place fish fillets on a lined baking tray and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

3. In a small mixing bowl, combine the sauce ingredients. Pour half of sauce over fish.

4. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes.

5. Stir fresh dill into remaining sauce and pour over cooked fish.

6. Serve warm or cool.

TIP: Fish changes color slightly when it’s ready. For salmon, that means the color gets lighter. If you are still unsure if it’s ready, gently press the flesh with the prongs of a fork. When cooked, it will flake easily— meaning it will separate along the natural lines in the flesh.

Born in Baltimore, MD, Menucha Armel moved to Israel in 1995. Her passion for cooking began as a hobby, selling salads and kugels for Shabbos, which eventually blossomed into a business, Menuchah L’simcha Catering. Her culinary skills, honed through catering events and cooking in yeshivas and seminaries, led to the creation of her cookbook, “Straight to the Plate,” featuring her best quick and easy recipes.

Menucha is dedicated to teaching others how to prepare delicious, uncomplicated meals using everyday pantry ingredients. Through workshops and cooking demonstrations, she shares not only recipes but also techniques and skills, promoting a sense of calm and ease in the kitchen.

To order Menucha’s cookbook, visit www.straighttotheplate.net.

Israel Today When Talking to Walls

IBy Rafi Sackville

once witnessed an event in the old Central Bus Station in Jerusalem that has remained ensconced in my mind’s eye till this day. The station, designed in the 1960s by one of the architects of the Knesset, Ossip Klarwein, didn’t amount to much – just an elongated building that stood next to the open station with diagonal busy ramps, platforms, and a narrow entrance that was forever a challenge to get through.

Jerusalem wasn’t as populated as it is today, but at all hours of the day, the station felt as if the entire city was there. When we were married in 1985, our apartment was situated right behind the station’s exit route in Romema. The six months are themselves a reminder of all that black smoke and noise.

On the day in question, police sappers suddenly appeared, barking orders and dispersing the crowd to a safe distance. Something was obviously afoot.

And the focus of their attention? Alone on a bench rested a large, white, plastic shopping bag. A sapper, covered from head to toe in protective gear, carefully approached it. Without disturbing it in the slightest, he very carefully attached a string to its handle. Then, like a fisherman unwinding a line, he walked backwards to where his fellow sappers awaited him. Their goal was to pull the now extended string, topple the bag, and wait for either a clattering of what – from my distant perch –looked like glass bottles or, in the worst case scenario, the tripping of an explosive device. After once again barking orders to move even further back, all was ready.

Just as the string was about to be pulled, an old man broke through the crowd and shuffled his way towards the bag. No amount of yelling by the sappers changed his course, because this elderly

gentleman, a man whom I’d often seen wandering aimlessly through the streets of the city mumbling to himself, finally reached the platform bench, untied the string, picked up the bag, and began walking towards the station’s exit where I was standing.

Now all the sappers were screaming at him. It was to no avail, however, because it quickly became apparent to all that the gentleman in question was, to put it mildly, ten cents on the dollar, or what others might call, not the sharpest pencil in the box. Once this fact had been established

debate was the state of the elevator, which seemed to have a predilection of its own to stop working on Shabbat. Another issue raised was the abuse of the downstairs miklat (protected room) by my next door neighbor and his cronies, who often slept there.

The neighbor’s name is Prosper. He’s well into his late 70s. When he talks –whenever he talks –he appears to be inebriated, especially when he’s not wearing his teeth. Truth be told, he isn’t drunk at all. In all the conversations I’ve had with him, it is clear that he’s not completely

Life at the bus station resumed as it had done, with throngs of people in a hurry, hungry, or idly awaiting their rides out of the city.

by the sappers, they collected their equipment and were gone as quickly as they’d come. Life at the bus station resumed as it had done, with throngs of people in a hurry, hungry, or idly awaiting their rides out of the city.

I mention this story as a preamble to a similar situation my wife and I currently find ourselves in. We recently moved into an apartment block in the Gonen-Katamon neighborhood of Jerusalem. It’s a quiet but popular block; on its right is Zarifa, a fashionable cafe; at the bottom of the building is a corner store. Our neighbors mainly keep to themselves. When we meet one another on the stairwell or elevator, the momentary bonhomie is genuine.

We recently met in the lobby for a corporate meeting. One point of intense

with it. I feel sorry for him because he has difficulty communicating with the world around him. He expresses concern and concentration when conversing, but a close look into his eyes reveals that he’s living in a detached universe, far removed from basic understanding.

He has a steady flow of friends and helpers, some of whom take advantage of the empty miklat. They, too, appear less than cogent. I spoke to Nisan, one of these friends, in an effort to convince Prosper to do something about the smell of cigarettes in the stairwell on floors 4 and 5 that begins mid-afternoon and continues throughout the night. Nisan promised he would, but he didn’t. I know because I asked him on two separate occasions about his promise, and he swore he’d forgotten, then swore he wouldn’t,

then he just swore. I gave up, but not before confronting Prosper himself, for the third time.

“Prosper, you’ve got to do something about the stench of tobacco in the stairwell,” I implored.

“I’ll open the windows,” he said.

“And Prosper, you leave your television on all night, every night. The noise is deafening.”

“My hearing isn’t too good,” he explained.

“Can’t you turn it down?” I almost begged.

“I’ll close the windows,” he offered earnestly.

“Why can’t you watch television while wearing your hearing aids?” I asked.

“But I watch television when I want to go to sleep.”

I threw up my arms in despair. I was on the cusp of making another point, when I recalled the scene at the bus station after the old man had collected his white bag and was walking towards me. As he passed by, one of the onlookers told him he shouldn’t be leaving his belongings on public benches.

“I’ve got it with me,” he replied, and lifted the bag for us to see. But he wasn’t looking at us when he did. He was away in his own world.

My wife and I have come to terms with Prosper. There’s nothing we can do to change his habits. I’m sure that, if he could, he would rectify the situation. Like the original “Home Alone” movie, when I hear the sounds of screaming or gunfire at 3 a.m., I know the world is OK. It’s just Prosper sleeping through another American gangster film.

Rafi Sackville, formerly from Cedarhurst, teaches in Yeshivat Horev in Yerushalayim.

The Old Central Bus Station

Batsheva Drebin Elisheva,

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The Show Goes On

By Senator Joe Lie B erman

The longest-ever running show on Broadway is The Phantom of the Opera, a polished and engaging musical that explores a wide range of human emotions. It opened in 1988 and continues to play to sellout crowds.

But my family and I – and, I imagine, you and yours – have been performing in a dramatic production with a far longer run. It is the Passover Seder, presented annually for more than three thousand years. Every Passover Eve, all across the world, members of our extended family prepare for their roles as actors, singers, and storytellers. We provide “dinner and a show” as we tell the story of the liberation of the Children of Israel from slavery in Egypt.

Although every nationality and every family makes individual adaptations, and nuances its version of the story, and though each may sing the text to different tunes or anchor the feast with different cuisines, the Passover Seder retains its shared meaning. It is a celebration of G-d’s love for humanity and humanity’s G-d-given right to be free.

Passover was not ordained to be a singular, isolated moment in our national calendar. It is part of a cycle. The Exodus was the key with which our po -

tential as a nation was unlocked – but what followed was the doorway to realizing that potential.

Every year, for over three thousand years, Jews have counted the days and weeks that lead from Passover, the Festival of Liberation, to Shavuot, the Festival of the Giving of the Law. Passover is only the first act in the drama.

leased from bondage to be free in the desert. They were not freed to be absorbed into Egyptian society. Their liberation had a purpose, already expressed in Moses’ first conversation with Pharaoh: “Thus said the L-rd, the G-d of Israel: ‘Let My people go, that they may hold a feast unto Me in the wilderness’” (Ex. 5:1). Later, Moses re -

The Exodus was the key with which our potential as a nation was unlocked – but what followed was the doorway to realizing that potential.

Unfortunately, despite the appeal and success of the Passover “production,” most people do not remain for the second act: Shavuot. They leave the theater, as it were, before the entire story has been told, missing the point of the annual journey from slavery in Egypt to the Law at Sinai.

The Israelites were not simply re -

peatedly transmits G-d’s request to Pharaoh: “Let My people go that they may serve Me” (9:1).

As the Israelites would soon learn, the purpose of the Exodus was for them to serve G-d’s values by observing G-d’s laws. Their ultimate destination was the Holy Land of Israel, but their first stop was Sinai, where they would receive the

Law, and, with it, their national objective and destiny.

In this, the Israelites were unusual. Their national purpose preceded their territorial existence – their values were conferred before their homeland – because the Revelation at Sinai provided the Children of Israel with the values they, and all the world, needed to build a new kind of just society.

Passover and Shavuot are two acts in the same drama whose plot explores how liberty and law must be joined to create justice. The immoral antediluvian society of Noah, and the years of Pharaoh’s cruel rule in Egypt, demonstrated what happens when people enjoy liberty without law.

Without law, freedom cannot guarantee anyone a secure or good life. That is the point of the second act, Shavuot, in which the rest of the story unfolds, as you will see, if you stay in your seat and experience it.

This article has been excerpted from Senator Joe Lieberman’s book With Liberty and Justice: The Fifty-Day Journey from Egypt to Sinai, published by OU Press.