Notable Quotes

“Say What?!”

Yes, I have joined the likes of Princess Diana, John Belushi, and Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter in leaving while still at the top of my game as an iconic superhero who seemed almost too good to be true.

– From an obituary for Thomas Lee Flanigan, age 48, which he wrote before his passing

I will admit that I originally got married for the husband jokes and had kids for the dad jokes. It did not disappoint. The jokes I mean, but Amy and the kids were pretty good too. Going to school events, dance competitions, and eight zillion hockey practices at the crack of dawn really makes a man’s life worthwhile. I also saw some other delightful things in my time here – Hawaiian volcanoes, Egyptian pyramids, and even the advent of air fryers. I will say, it was magical, all of it.

– Ibid.

Due to the unknown and cosmic nature of my next mission, this will be our last communication. It will self-destruct in five minutes. My whereabouts are now top secret, but let’s just say I have made some new friends by the names of Elvis and Kenny.

– Ibid.

Like you said, no one can be woke enough Just imagine how many hours of couples therapy you can afford when you’re among the world’s richest people. Or the shared sense of purpose you could forge while raising three children and running a $50 billion charitable foundation with your spouse. Then imagine that it’s not enough to keep you together. Yes, money is one of the main things couples fight about. But having so much of it that you can give billions away doesn’t eliminate the questions that every couple faces: Do we still want similar things in life? Can we still create that life together? Or would it be better if we forged ahead on our own? This is one of the reasons we regular folks are fascinated when billionaires split. It’s comforting to know that relationships are difficult no matter who we are.

- Lisa Bonos, Washington Post, writing about Bill and Melinda Gates’ divorce

The United States must speak out strongly against the violence by government-allied Israeli extremists in East Jerusalem and the West Bank, and make clear that the evictions of Palestinian families must not go forward.

- Tweet by Israel-hater Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT)

It’s a new virus. Nobody knows whether it was born in a laboratory or because a human ate some animal they shouldn’t have. But the military knows all about chemical, biological, and radiological warfare. Could we be fighting a new war? I wonder. Which country’s GDP has grown the most?

- Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro insinuating that China purposely started the coronavirus pandemic

[Medina Spirit who won the Kentucky Derby tested positive for elevated levels of Betamethasone.] Yeah, his racing days may be over, but on the bright side, he just joined the Russian gymnastics team.

— Jimmy Fallon

So, if you want to see crazy conspiracy theories, you’ll have to settle for any other person on Facebook.

— Jimmy Fallon, referring to Facebook banning former President Donald Trump

You know, they came in. Biden does everything in the name of Trump reversals. So what does he do? He turns around and funds the Palestinians corrupt organization again. Hamas now wants to test Biden because they don’t think that he’s going to do anything severe. They go and start shooting rockets into Jerusalem. And what does Biden do? He calls for restraint when what he should be doing is having Israel’s back.

-Former U.S. Ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley on Fox News

I can’t imagine in any scenario if a terrorist organization were shooting rockets into Washington, D.C., that we would be OK with our friends and allies calling for restraint. This is where Biden should be calling out the Palestinians. The only reason this is happening is because Hamas is shooting rockets and Biden needs to put a stop to it. He can do it by pulling money. He can do it by calling for action, and he can stop this right now.

– Ibid.

I think Tucker is running for president. And I think that’s what he’s going to do. And I think he’s going to try to demonize and destroy anyone who might stand up against him. And that’s all that this is.

- Frank Luntz, a longtime GOP pollster, responding to criticism by Fox News’ Tucker Carlson Israeli airstrikes killing civilians in Gaza is an act of terrorism. Palestinians deserve protection. Unlike Israel, missile defense programs, such as Iron Dome, don’t exist to protect Palestinian civilians. It’s unconscionable to not condemn these attacks on the week of Eid.

- Ilhan Omar, member of the House of Representatives (D-Minn.)

Why is a Member of Congress acting as the press secretary for Hamas? Does Biden agree?

- Tweet by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)

The murderer was the manifestation of the oldest hatred, more lethal than the deadliest disease known to man — Jew-hatred. Cold-blooded anti-Semitism. It’s the foundational belief of our so-called peace partners up the road in Ramallah, the Palestinian Authority, our avowed enemies in Gaza, and many of the woke bureaucrats and officials that staff the current Biden administration.

- Jonathan Pollard, talking about the recent murder of 19-year-old Yehuda Guetta, while addressing Yeshivas Mercaz HaRav on Yom Yerushalayim

Whether you murder a Jew directly…or whether you pin his arms behind his back like the identity Democrats of the same Biden administration — the death of the Jew is the same.

- Ibid.

This is our Land, G-d gave it to us, and if you don’t like it, that’s OK. We set the rules. You may have heard that the U.S. wants to set up a PA embassy in Jerusalem. We can’t allow this. If the Americans want to set up a Palestinian embassy in Washington, good luck. That’s their business. But not here. Not in Israel. Not in Jerusalem.

– Ibid.

It’s got to be somewhere in the $80,000 to $90,000 range, if not higher.

- NYC mayoral candidate Ray McGuire, a former Citibank executive, when asked during a New York Times editorial board interview what he thought the median price of a home in Brooklyn is. (The correct answer is $900,000)

In Brooklyn, huh? I don’t for sure. I would guess it is around $100,000.

- NYC mayoral candidate Shaun Donovan, who ran the Department of Housing and Urban Development in the Obama administration from 2009 to 2014, when asked the same question by the New York Times editorial board

Every day, Black birthing people and our babies die because our doctors don’t believe our pain.

- Rep. Cori Bush (D-Miss) being politically correct during a speech in Congress, thus reducing mothers to “birthing people”

That is not something we recommend.

- White House press secretary Jen Psaki admitting in a podcast with CNN Senior Political Commentator David Axelrod that the White House communications team prefers that President Biden not answer impromptu questions I would – let’s be real.

- Seven-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady when asked whether he would give up a few Super Bowl rings to have won the Super Bowl against Eli Manning and Giants in 2007, when his team went 16-0 during the season

Never

- Eli Manning, in response