HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT

TJH Centerfold

Good Snoozers

QThey call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. - George Carlin

QI’m trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep. - Jim Loy

QI think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

QEveryone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. -Ray Romano

QI love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

QThe amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.– Wilson Mizener

QWhy is the inability to sleep called insomnia and not resisting a rest? - Unknown Q Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. -George Carlin

QThere is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. - Mindy Kaling

QI’ve stayed up all night trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia. – Unknown

QWithout enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. – JoJo Jensen

QA day without a nap is like a cupcake without frosting. -

Terri Guillemets

QDreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. - William Charles Dement

QI hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because I know it will be up all night. - Steven Wright

A man walks to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” says the police officer guarding the burglar. “No, no, no!” says the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

You Gotta be Kidding Me!

Flower Trivia

1. Who was the first flower breeder in the United States? a. George Washington b. John Flowersmith c. Alexander Graham Bell d. René Barbier

2. How many flowers are there approximately in Dubai’s

Miracle Garden, a 72,000-square-foot attraction that opened in 2013? a. 4 million b. 17 million c. 24 million d. 45 million

3. What is the national flower of the U.S.? a. Daisy b. Tulip c. Rose d. Violet

4. Which flower shares its name with a musical instrument? a. Drumflower b. Flute petals c. Viola d. Harp flower

5. What is tulip mania? a. It’s a WWE wrestling match that takes place in a large city’s botanical gardens at the end of every summer. b. It’s a disease in which a person is compelled to plant tulips in every free space of their garden. c. It is a tulip competition that takes place in England.

The person who harvests the nicest tulips gets to plant the garden at Buckingham Palace. d. It was a craze that took place in the Netherland’s in the 1630s when tulips were seen as a status symbol, causing them to become more valuable than gold.

The market eventually collapsed and tulips became nearly worthless, leaving tulip speculators in financial ruin.

Answers: 1. A- Not only was he the first U.S. president, but

George Washington was also the first American rose breeder. He had hundreds of bushes at his home and believed his ability to care for roses came from pruning cherry trees as a child. 2. D 3. C-On November 20, 1986, then-President Ronald Reagan signed a proclamation certifying the rose as the national flower of the U.S. in a ceremony at the White House Rose Garden. 4. C 5. D

Wisdom Key: 4-5 correct: A scent of genius…flower power! 2-3 correct: You are a carnation…eh, nothing special! 0-1 correct: Were you knocked in the head during tulip mania?

Riddle me This?

When do we have kri’as haTorah five days in a row, other than on Pesach, Chanukah, and Sukkos?

Answer below

leining, the fourth day is Sunday, which is Tzom Gedaliah, and the fifth day is Monday, on which we always lein. Answer to Riddle: When Rosh Hashana falls out on Thursday and Friday. The third day is the regular Shabbos