Baltimore Jewish Home - 5-26-16 by Moshe Rubin

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may

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june

9 . vol 3, #8

Check out our NEW Community Calendar ........ Page 32

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MAY 26, 2016

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‫עניי עירך קודמין‬

MAY 26, 2016

Ahavas Yisrael has Been a Lifeline for Local Families in Need for 38 Years

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Mail:

Ahavas Yisrael c/o Mrs. Janine Chapman 2723 Woodcourt Rd Baltimore, MD 21209

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CONTENTS

COMMUNITY

Around the Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

MAY 26, 2016

Community Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

JEWISH THOUGHT Rules of Engagement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Learning Lessons from the Garden. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Meron - The Magic and the Mystique . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Amulets, Accusations and Controversy. . . . . . . . . . 38 Rabbi Berel Wein. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 Bobker On Lag B’omer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Notable Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

LIFESTYLES 613 Seconds with Alex Gross. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Fitting Everyone In Raising Healthy Siblings when a Child is Ill. . . . . . . . 31 Political Crossfire. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Health & Fitness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Life Coach. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Your Money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Political Crossfire. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 Dating Dialogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 Between the Lines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 In The Kitchen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Parenting that Child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62

Dear Readers, We humans are always counting: Counting the days till graduation, camp, a pay raise, and all the wonderful things we look forward to. At first glance it seems Sefiras Haomer, the counting of the omer is the same; we are counting the days till Shavuos and matan Torah, the giving of the Torah. In truth, however, counting in Judaism is very different than the typical lead-up to an event. The usual way of counting is counting down. For example, we might announce, “There are only three weeks left till we go to New York!” as if to say: the real place I should be is in New York, and since I’m not there yet, I’m going to count down to the day I will be. In yiddishkeit we count up. We introduce the daily shir shel yom, “Hayom yom rishon b’Shabbos… Hayom yom Sheni – Today is the first day of Shabbos… Today is the second day of Shabbos.” In the case of Sefiras Haomer, we say, “Today is fifth day of the omer,” “Today is

the tenth day,” and so on. The focus is always on what we’re doing now in order to realize the goal. The end result isn’t something we escape into; it’s a goal born of our focus on creating meaningful days right now. When we count 49 days and climb the ladder of self-improvement, we are then given the 50th day, Shavuos, as a gift. The same can be said about our focus on the future redemption. It isn’t a given day we know about in advance, and we count down as an escape route. Rather, it’s a beautiful building being built brick by brick, at times with the sweat of our brow, until its majesty stands tall for everyone to see. Of course, we’re entitled to beseech our Father in Heaven that He accept the building as is and put an end to all pain and suffering. We may not be perfect, but we’re certainly ready. May we have a rejuvenating Shabbos, Yaakov

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Cooking for the King. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

NEWS Israel News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 That’s Odd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. Opinions expressed by writers are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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MAY 26, 2016

Bais Yaakov Elementary Teachers and Faculty Meet and Greet (Photo Essay) BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

Bais Yaakov Elementary Teachers and Faculty Meet and Greet the Administrative Teams for the New Lower Elementary and Upper Elementary Divisions of the School. On Wednesday May 11th and Monday May 16th, Bais Yaakov of Baltimore hosted two ‘Meet and Greet’ sessions for faculty and administration to learn more about the exciting changes taking place at the school by meeting the new Principals: Rabbi Yitzchok Sanders and Rabbi Yochanon Stein. On the Wednesday evening prior to Pesach, Bais Yaakov of Baltimore President, Dr. Shmuel Markovitz held a faculty conference call launching the establishment of two unified but distinct divisions of the Elementary School: the Lower Elementary under the leadership of Principal Rabbi Yitzchok Sanders together with Coordinators Mrs. Liora Rosen (Limudei Kodesh) and Mrs. Jane Baker (General Studies), and the Upper Elementary under the leadership of Principal Rabbi Yochanon Stein together with Mrs. Shira Hochheimer (Limudei Kodesh) and Mrs. Lisa Schecter (General Studies). Dr. Markovitz expressed his excitement at the prospects of bringing

By: BJL Staff

Rabbi Yitzchok Sanders

together a dynamic group of professional mechanchim and educators to support this development. There was participation on the phone conference of over 100 participants listening in to divrei bracha from the Chairman

of the Va’ad HaChinuch, Dr. Yoel Jakobovits, and a warm message from Rabbi Mendel Freedman, the esteemed, current principal of the Bais Yaakov Elementary School. During the conference call, they announced

Rabbi Yochanon Stein

there would be opportunities for the faculty to meet the new administrative team and learn about the exciting shifts taking place at the school.

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Baltimore Officer Found Not Guilty On All Charges In Death Of Freddie Gray BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

Officer Edward Nero, center, one of six Baltimore city police officers charged in connection to the death of Freddie Gray, arrives at a courthouse to receive a verdict in his trial in Baltimore, Monday, May 23, 2016. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky) Baltimore, MD - A Baltimore officer was acquitted Monday of assault and other charges in the arrest of Freddie Gray, dealing prosecutors a significant blow in their attempt to hold police accountable for the young black man’s death from injuries he suffered in the back of a police van. A judge also found Officer Edward Nero not guilty of reckless endangerment and misconduct in office. The assault charge carried a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and reckless

endangerment carried a punishment of up to five years. Gray died April 19, 2015, a week after his neck was broken in the back of a police transport van while he was handcuffed and shackled but left unrestrained by a seat belt. Nero was one of six officers charged in the case. He waived his right to a jury trial, opting instead to argue his case before Circuit Judge

By: AP

Barry Williams. Officer William Porter’s manslaughter trial ended in a hung jury in December. Gray’s death set off more than a week of protests followed by looting, rioting and arson that prompted a citywide curfew. His name became a rallying cry in the growing national conversation about the treatment of black men by police officers. Prosecutors said Nero unlawfully detained Gray and acted callously when he made a decision not to buckle Gray into a seat belt when he was loaded into the back of a transport vehicle. Nero’s attorney argues that his client didn’t arrest Gray and that it is the police van driver’s responsibility to

buckle in detainees. The defense argued that the officers who responded that day acted responsibly, and called witnesses to bolster their argument that any reasonable officer in Nero’s position would have made the same decisions. The defense also sought to convince the judge that the department’s order requiring that all inmates be strapped in is more suggestion than rule because officers are expected to act with discretion based on the circumstances of each situation. The other officers are set to each have separate trials over the summer and into the fall. Nero is white and Porter is black. Two of the other officers charged in the case are white and two are black.

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We Honor You and We Thank You, Volunteers of Baltimore Bikur Cholim On Sunday, May 15, Baltimore Bikur Cholim honored its (over) 400 volunteers at their annual women’s brunch, “Gaining through Giving.” 300 mothers, daughters, and grandmothers packed the halls of Bnai Jacob Shaare Zion while feasting on

Bonnie Pollak

Rabbi Rabinowitz

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Community

cheese cake, waffles, and omelets lavishly prepared by Yaakov Simanowitz of Elegant Events. The event coordinators for the morning’s brunch were Shira Miryam Bronfin, Cindy Goodman, Leah Klein, Sarah Ottensoser, Ilana Portnoy and Aliza Wein. The work these volunteers take on is staggering, yet you would never know it from the gracious, discreet, and efficient manner in which the tasks are done. “600 meals distributed to 8 different hospitals in one month, 160 meals delivered to people’s homes, patients and families serviced from more than 40 different cities and countries. 300 rides a month and over 150 patients in hospitals, homes and facilities visited this month. And all this made possible by the volunteers sitting here in this room,” proclaimed Bonnie Pollak, Bikur Cholim coordinator of family services. Laure Gutman, Bikur Cholim vice president opened the event with a perek of Tehilim for all the Cholim in our community. She then expounded with a short D’var Torah from Parshas Kedoshim where she spoke to the pursuit of achieving holiness in our everyday lives, and certainly volunteering for Bikur Cholim

where one helps those in great need is one way to work towards holiness. Laure concluded by introducing the women to Bikur Cholim’s newly appointed executive director, Rabbi Pinchos Rabinowitz. Rabbi Rabinowitz introduced himself

Decor

Rikki Klein

and explained his role in Bikur Cholim and how impressed he is with the organization and particularity with the volunteers. He shared that when his family was faced with medical challenges, Bikur Cholim of Baltimore was right there helping with all their needs. He is proud to join this organization that has served the needs of the cholim in Baltimore for over 30 years. And recounted how Bikur Cholim of Baltimore started with Rebbetzin Chana Weinberg, a”h, in her living room on Yeshiva Lane. Bonnie Pollak then took the microphone and reiterated her praise to all the volunteers and urged those who have not yet committed to please consider giving Bikur Cholim of Baltimore even an hour a week. She then listed all the places where volunteers could find a niche for themselves: Transportation coordinators, phone calls, food preparation, neighborhood coordinators, greeting family members of patients from out of town, stocking the apartments for out of town guests, hospital visitation, hospice visitation, adopt an out of town family while they are here attending to a sick relative, sit with a family member whose loved one is being oper-

ated on, babysit for a young couple when they go to the hospital to have a baby, and the list goes on and on. – The opportunities to volunteer are boundless, so needed, and so appreciated by the cholim and Bikur Cholim.

Erica Kelelmer

“Bikur Cholim literally saved our lives,” Ruchie Weiskind heartfully conveyed during the beautifully moving video (produced by Aliza Elman) about the frightening medical emergency she and her family endured. Everyone in Baltimore davened for Sara Naomi Weiskind, closely watched her progress, and rejoiced in her recovery, making this video so appropriate for this Bikur Cholim brunch-the Weiskind’s extended Jewish family. As Ben and Ruchie Weiskind recounted their tribulation, again and again they thanked Bikur Cholim and its volunteers for sharing and lessening their load. Each year the Bikur Cholim brunch selects special volunteers to honor. These women are singled out for their contributions that extend above and beyond. Sarah Ottensosor presented the tributes, “We are pleased today to inaugurate the Rebbetzin Chana Weinberg Legacy Award honoring three dedicated volunteers, Devorah Schor, Erica Kelemer, and Rikki Klein.” With years of experience, Devorah Schor is one of Bikur Cholim’s transportation coordinators. The responsibilities of a transportation coordinator include taking all the messages off our transportation line. She arranges rides to and from doctor appointments and treatments for those in need, pairing those individuals with someone who can provide the ride. We have a pool of over 100 amazing volunteer drivers, and we average 40-50 rides per week. As you can imagine, arranging these “shidduchim” takes an inordinate amount of time, coordination, and devotion. Erica Kelemer was one of the ambitious women with whom Rebbitzen Weinberg met in the summer of 2009 to help transform Bikur Cholim into the tremendous organization which it is today. One of the many facets of Bikur Cholim is its

apartments, used to temporarily house out- of-town families during the duration of the patient’s stay in Baltimore. Since that time, Erica took on the enormous task of managing the apartments located in the Canterbury House, and continued to do so with a growing team of women as a few families utilizing one apartment per year turned into dozens of families using two apartments each year. Erica’s responsibilities included keeping track of who was coming from out of town and how long they were staying, ensuring that the apartments were cleaned between guests, and that the apartments were well stocked when they arrived. If anything needed fixing or replacing she took care of getting it done. For over six years, Erica oversaw these tasks which help countless families make their out of town or out of country stay at our apartments more comfortable. Rikki Klein is the captain of a special group of women who have undertaken a commitment to provide homemade Shabbos meals for Bikur Cholim families. Rikki sends out weekly texts/emails to her neighbors and friends, coordinating the cooking of tasty Shabbos food that will be available for those who will need it. This alleviates a frantic call-to-action of volunteers to cook last-minute Shabbos meals, which unfortunately, is always needed. Rikki selflessly not only organizes this critical arm of Bikur Cholim meals, she always fills in whatever cooking and baking doesn’t get done by other volunteers each week. She then ensures that all the food that gets dropped off at her house on Friday afternoon is delivered to the recipient families and completes this all calmly and happily.” The Bikur Cholim Brunch ended with prizes and raffles. The morning ended with feelings of deep personal pride from present volunteers and a fervent desire from others to join the remarkable group of Bikur Cholim of Baltimore. Bikur Cholim thanks all of its generous sponsors for making this brunch yet another incredible success. If you would like to volunteer and/ or hear about opportunities to volunteer, please call Bikur Cholim at 410.999.3700. Note: For the men in our community, please register for the Men’s Biker Cholim Bike-a thon and Family Fun Event, Sunday, July 17, 2016, where you too, can make a difference and support this wonderful organization while having an enjoyable time.

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MAY 26, 2016

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Safety Kid Comes to Baltimore

BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn Safety Kid is a comprehensive child abuse prevention program for presentation to children in Orthodox schools. The program was developed by Debbie Fox, LCSW, and is guided by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the Halachic Advisory Board, and Mothers Advocating Prevention (MAP). On Sunday, Monday and Tuesday evenings of this past week, representatives of Magen Yeladim International made presentations at Bais Yaakov High School, Bnos Yisroel School for Girls and the Park Heights JCC, respectively. Over 750 local day school parents attended these three parent education sessions, demonstrating that the subject of child safety is very high

By: Isaac Draiman

on the Baltimore Jewish community’s priority list. For the past year, CHANA (a program of The Associated to combat domestic violence and child abuse) and the Center for Jewish Education (CJE)

have been working to put together a community-wide project to address this critical subject. In addition to the parent education sessions, the Magen Yeladim staff trained almost twenty local administrators, educators and mental health professionals on the use of the Safety Kid curriculum in our local schools. Safety Kid is a comprehensive child abuse prevention program for presentation to children in Orthodox schools. The program was developed by Debbie Fox, LCSW, and is guided by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the Halachic Advisory Board, and Mothers Advocating Prevention (MAP). It has been reviewed and endorsed by Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky as well as local rabbonim. The Safety Kid program is dedicated to working with schools, administrators, families and students, ensuring that our children are trained in age-appropriate ways to handle situations that could be dangerous. These include “grooming” by potential abusers, getting lost or separated from parents in a public place and avoiding potentially compromising situations that

could lead to abuse. Representatives of the participating day schools and yeshivos were trained to present the program in local day school classrooms. Administrators have been trained to oversee the logistics of integrating the Safety Kid program into their schools. Participating schools include Bais Yaakov School for Girls, Bnos Yisroel, Cheder Chabad, Ohr Chadash Academy, Talmudical Academy and Torah Institute.

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Baltimore’s Connection with Israel’s Weaker Population Sectors By: Rabbi Yaacov Cohen, Executive Director at TA

For the past decade the Baltimore religious community has been an avid and dedicated friend and supporter of the Gush Katif evacuees. Very soon after the events of the summer of 2005, Rav Yosef Zvi Rimon, Founder and Chairman of JobKatif, Rav of Alon Shvut South, lecturer and Ra’m at Yeshivat Har Etzion and recent Head of the Batei Midrash at the Lev Academic Center, visited the Baltimore Jewish community and spoke with lay and religious leaders about the unique situation plaguing the Gush Katif families. “The timing was perfect”, Mike Lowenstein, an early supporter of JobKatif explains, “the Baltimore Jewish community was looking for ways to meaningfully help the Gush Katif families, and Rav Rimon had the answer.” Having recently founded JobKatif, Rav Rimon was one of the very few individuals who identified employment as a crucial tool to rebuilding lives. Gush Katif had been an agricultural success beyond anyone’s dreams. Fully 97% of the residents were employed in agriculture, education, security, municipal services, small business ventures, and more. Of these, 85% of the people worked within the Gush; so by the day following the disengagement, 85% of the evacuees were unemployed. JobKatif set about creating a myriad of programs and initiatives to get the evacuees back on their feet -- from academic scholarships for second generation youth to new business ventures, from individual counseling to professional retraining courses, from mentoring to guided volunteer programs that lead to work. The results? Today, thanks to the help of friends and donors around the world, 85% of the Gush Katif evacuees are now working. “We are approaching the end of our work with the evacuees,” Judy Lowy, Executive Director reports, “although we will always be available to help any Gush Katif evacuee who needs help. We continue to work with the second generation providing them

Joint project of JobKatif and Ta’asuChayil

with career counseling and employment mentoring, and Rav Rimon’s special discretionary fund assists working families, who are still having a hard time making ends meet. Our goal is to help them become fully independent and self-supporting.” Rav Rimon’s guiding principle is taken from the Maimonides, who writes in his Laws of Charity (10:7) “The greatest level is to support a fellow Jew by… finding employment for him in order to strengthen his hand until he is no longer dependent upon others.” But now that JobKatif’s work with the Gush Katif evacuees is winding down, JobKatif and Rav Rimon are turning their eyes elsewhere. Rav Rimon explains, “If Hashem blessed me with this idea to help the evacuees by creating a new employment model certainly non-existent in Israel and perhaps non-existent in the world, why not adapt it to help other marginalized population groups.” Who among us was not inspired when tens of thousands of Ethiopians were airlifted to Israel? Now, two and three generations later, many among the younger generation have not been able to take advantage of the ‘start up nation’s’ work force. Fully one out every two Ethiopian families lives in poverty. How can we break this cycle? “I see young Ethiopians working as cashiers in supermarkets, guards in Israel’s malls and aides in nursing homes. Do they not aspire to more

BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

Maya, an Ethiopian Nurse

stable, more dynamic professions? After studying the subject for a year, the answer we learned was yes. They are interested in doing ‘something’ else, and this something else is nursing” So, in 2013, Achotenu, a nurses training program for Ethiopians was launched. However, there were many obstacles along the way. Achotenu began to remove them, one by one, by lobbying with government ministries, Israel’s nursing schools, and academic institutions. This was a breakthrough. JobKatif-Achotenu provides students with all the services and support necessary so that they can succeed: academic scholarships, living stipends, individual tutoring, counseling and mentoring, to name but a few. Achotenu’s pilot class of nine nursing students successfully completed their 3-year nursing program and are beginning to work in Israel’s hospitals. The next cohort of 25 Ethiopian women will begin a 5-year academic nursing program in Fall 2016 in Jerusalem, to be followed by 25 women the following year. All of the graduates will earn a BSN in nursing and will be eligible to not only work in Israel’s medical institutions, but advance into management positions as well. JobKatif recently partnered with Ta’asuChayil to launch yet another new project, this one designed for impoverished IDF soldiers. Initially, Ta’asuChayil distributed

Successful JobKatif Business

holiday food packages -- numbering in the hundreds -- to needy soldiers. Over the years, the program grew to also provide week-long employment. With the new partnership the employment focused services have been enhanced, and the initial week-long work program is now one full month. By working with tens of companies and employers throughout Israel, and in full cooperation with the IDF, JobKatif-Ta’asuChayil is able to provide these young men and women with a desperately needed respite from their financial burdens, and a firm shoulder to lean upon. In addition, JobKatif-Ta’asuChayil has added another element to the program -- career counseling and guidance. The Israel Defense Forces views Ta’asuChayil as a creative, long-term solution to the high dropout rate among soldiers from impoverished families and has therefore granted JobKatif official status as an outside supplier of these services. “We continue to explore other sectors of society,” Judy Lowy reports, “with our goal focused on helping them secure satisfying employment so that they can break the poverty cycle that has been hampering them, and take advantage of the wealth of opportunities that Israel’s dynamic marketplace has to offer.” Judy Lowy will be in Baltimore for Shabbat Bechukotai, June 4th and will be speaking at Seudah Shlishit at Congregation Shomrei Emunah.

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Many of the biggest gifts have come from family and friends, many of whom have long prayed for the boys but never had the chance to help them in this way, but Cheryl Lever, Racheli’s mother, said she also has been overwhelmed with many gifts from strangers. “Now, there are a lot of names I’ve never heard of in a million years,” Lever said. “It’s amazing.” Rabbi Naphtali Burnstein of Young Israel of Greater Cleveland in Beachwood, a relative, said, “It just speaks volumes of the kindness and camaraderie that we have as a people.” To some extent, that’s the point of

“They’re very social and smiley and happy kids, so I think that probably helped,” Ribakow said. The video shows that – with Nachi waving cheerfully at the camera as well as their daunting obstacles including frequently getting stuck going through the house’s narrow hallways. Indeed, Nachi, currently in the midst of potty training, can’t even get his walker into the bathroom. Eli is more talkative than Nachi, sometimes stringing together several words at once, but he struggles with inconsistent vision, while Nachi sees well and “laughs at every punch line of every joke.” Both adore music, with

The Ribakow family- (L-R) Nachi - Racheli - Miri - Dovid and Eli (Photo Credit Cheryl Lever)

Eli being particularly attached to the piano. “They both have a joy of living and so it’s contagious,” Lever said. “It’s amazing what they’ve gone through,” Ribakow added. “They’ve had so many hardships and surgeries and hard things in life and they’re so happy in life. It’s amazing.” Rabbi Simcha Dessler of the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland in Cleveland Heights has high praise for the parents as well, including Rachaeli Ribakow, a Beatrice Stone Yavne High School graduate. “She is an extraordinary individual who has accomplished so much despite the obvious challenges,” he said. Lever said she hopes that money can make their lives a little more joyful and a little easier by building a safe ramp leading up to the home’s front door, expanding the first floor to include bedrooms and building a fully accessible bathroom. Their current shower stall isn’t big enough to fit a bath chair. “Then, they can have a safe shower where they’re not being treated like a little baby,” Lever said.

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The Chesed Fund, allowing for a level of collaboration that would have been impossible prior to the internet. “It’s amazing what they’ve gone through,” Ribakow said. “They’ve had so many hardships, surgeries and struggles and they’re still so happy in life.” Of the approximately 25 campaigns to hit The Chesed Fund in its first month, the Ribakows’ has brought in the most money. “It basically went viral,” said Avi Kehat, a computer programmer from Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel, and co-founder of The Chesed Fund. “It’s an amazing feeling knowing that you can have an idea and you can push it out there and people use it and you really help people.” Perhaps part of the fundraising campaign’s success can be attributed to a video of the boys, posted on The Chesed Fund website, which shows two charming, cheerful children struggling to maneuver around their home. “They happen to be so lovable that anyone that meets them is sort of instantly in love,” Lever said. “They’re just really delightful sweet boys.”

Nachi has improved in his walking abilities. He powerfully pushes against his walker and drives himself forward. Eli isn’t quite there yet. Every time they want to go to sleep or take a bath, someone has to carry them up the stairs, or Nachi can sometimes – slowly – walk up the stairs. Given that they’re growing up, carrying them has become increasingly hard. “I’m scared,” Ribakow said. “I don’t want to drop them or hurt myself or them.” She remembered saying, “That’s it, we need to do something now.” So, the family took to The Chesed Fund seeking financial help to convert their house into something more tenable for the young boys, writing: “Please show the boys and their family you care. By doing so, you will give these two children the opportunity of freedom.” The community has responded. Originally, they asked for $50,000. Given a powerful response from the community, they’ve now changed that goal to $100,000, which remains the minimum needed. “At the time, we never thought we would ever reach this ($50,000) goal,” Lever said on the website. “In reality, in order to really do what is necessary for our grandsons, we need at least $100,000.” Lever said that in an ideal world, the Ribakow family might move to a ranch house with everything on a single floor. That would be costly, however. She said the family wants to make the situation for their boys better as cheaply as possible. “I don’t want it to seem like they’re being exotic in their hope,” Lever said. “They’re really trying to go about it in the most financially expedient way. They’re not being exorbitant. They’re really trying to do it the most economical way they can come up with.”

MAY 26, 2016

Five-year-old twins Eli and Nachi Ribakow entered the world 14 weeks premature and spent the first five months of their lives in a Jerusalem hospital, where their father, Dovid, originally from Baltimore, MD, was studying at the Mir yeshiva. They’ve endured numerous hospitalizations and surgeries. Yet, it’s the everyday, the mundane that is most difficult for them and their parents at times. Neither can walk on their own, instead using a combination of walkers and motorized wheelchairs to get around their University Heights home. With only a half-bathroom and no bedrooms on the first floor, their parents, Dovid and Racheli, end up carrying them up and down the stairs, although Nachi sometimes can make it on his own – slowly. With the boys growing, that has become harder and harder to do, hence the family’s turn to The Chesed Fund, a month-old collaborative fundraising site. The online community has responded, with 596 people giving more than $80,000. With their father studying to become a physician’s assistant and at the Cedar Green Community Kollel at night and their mother unable to work given her taxing schedule taking them from one medical appointment to another and then to school at Gearity Professional Development School, the money is sorely needed – and appreciated. Especially given that they have another mouth to feed in 6-year-old Miri, who doesn’t face the same health difficulties her brothers do. “I don’t know what words to use. It’s unbelievable. We never knew what to expect when we started the fund,” Racheli Ribakow said. “I’m really looking forward to building a bedroom and handicapped bathroom on the first floor, and a ramp into the house that they can drive up and down on on their own.”

By: Jonah L. Rosenblum

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

Act Of ‘Chesed’ Helps Struggling University Heights Ribakow Family

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

MAY 26, 2016

Torah Thought Rules of Engagement Rabbi Zvi Teichman

The very last paragraph of our portion, discusses the unfortunate circumstance of a fellow Jew who is forced to sell himself to a non-Jew as a slave, simply to survive. The Torah goes on to discuss the responsibility of his relatives to redeem him from this degrading predicament, referencing an uncle, cousin or next closest relative who have this duty to redeem him. It goes on to discuss the possibility of the slave himself accruing enough funds to redeem himself. In the event no one comes forward, the Torah describes how he is nevertheless ultimately freed by the Jubilee year. The Baalei HaTosafos )‫(דעת זקנים‬ teach us that this portion alludes to our plight of being enslaved among the four exiles. We wait for our )‫דודו (ויקרא כה מט‬, our great ‘Uncle’; G-d, and for our ‫בן‬ ‫דודו‬, our ‘cousin’; the Moshiach, to free us. If ,‫ השיגה ידו‬we become ‘sufficient with means’; i.e. merits, then we can redeem ourselves. In the event we are still unworthy, nevertheless we are promised )‫ויצא בשנת היובל (שם שם נד‬, we will leave with the sounding of the Shofar. It is reasonable then to assume, that it is in the merit of the sensitivity that is exhibited in the fulfilling of this mitzvah particularly that gives us hope that ‫מדה כנגד מדה‬, as a measure in kind, G-d will release us too from our bondage, Galus. Is it simply our willingness to reach out to assist our kin in distress that is so profound of a virtue? Isn’t that something we would expect and not all that noble? Three times in regards to a Jewish slave, the Torah reiterates ‫לא תרדה בו‬ )‫בפרך(שם שם מג‬, that we must be care-

ful not to subjugate a slave through hard labor. The first time, it is mentioned in context of a Jewish slave who sold himself due to poverty (ibid). The second time this idea is restated is when the Torah discusses the purchase of a non-Jewish slave and the imperative of ‫לעלם בהם תעבדו (שם שם‬ )‫מו‬, you shall work with them forever. Although a non-Jewish slave is forever indentured and may be subjected to ‘hard labor’, nevertheless the Torah continues, ‫ובאחיכם בני ישראל‬ )‫איש באחיו לא תרדה בו בפרך (שם‬, but with your brethren, the Children of Israel- a man with his brother- you shall not subjugate with hard labor. The final repetition of this concept, is in the portion mentioned above that talks of a Jew sold to a non-Jew. Although we cannot observe how the gentile treats his Jewish slave in the privacy of his home, nevertheless we are instructed at the very least, ‫לא יר־‬ )‫דנו בפרך לעיניך (שם שם נג‬, he shall not subjugate him through hard labor ‘in your sight’. We cannot stand idly by if we observe such abuse. What is this ‘hard labor’ that must be avoided? Rashi, based on the Toras Kohanim, defines hard work as something the owner has no need for, even something as innocent as heating up some water, but is being requested merely to impose his authority on the slave for the sake of keeping him busy. Also under this rubric of ‘hard labor’ is his asking the slave to do work that the owner indeed needs but he doesn’t request initially a specific time limit. Just saying to one’s servant, ‘work till I come back’, leaving it totally open

ended, transgresses this prohibition. Mindless work or an endless task is, understandably so, considered psychologically as ‘hard labor’. Does the refraining from this callous attitude embody such great valor that it merits the ultimate redemption? Rabbeinu Yonah in his classic Shaarei Teshuva )‫(שער שלישי אות ס‬, states that any work, albeit necessary for the owner, that one suspects the servant is unwilling to do and feels imposed upon is prohibited. He extends this prohibition to include the asking of a favor from any person, even one who he is not in your employ, but is merely too ‘afraid’ or ‘embarrassed’ to deny your request of him and feels ‘compelled’ to accede to your wish. The moment someone is reluctantly expected to reply is the instant one is ‘subjugating’ an other to ‘hard labor’. The very first expectation of Man as described in the Torah after that fateful decision of ‫נעשה אדם בצלמנו‬ )‫ (בראשית א כו‬, Let us make Man in Our image, is )‫וירדו (שם‬, They shall rule, over fish, bird, animal, the whole earth and every creeping thing. Man was directed to rule, dominate and utilize all aspects of nature for the furtherance of his developing free willed purposeful accomplishment in this world. With the exception of one: one’s fellow man. We are here to serve not to be served. Of course, the work activities that are normal and expected in a contractual agreement are part of the deal. It is when we take our authority and impose our desires beyond those rightful boundaries, that we lose that which we share with G-d, our Tzelem Elokim, our divinely inspired morality.

When we take advantage of our ‘position’ to ‘rule’ over others so that they may serve us, is the very cause for G-d placing us in exile to be ruled over by others’ whims and wishes. ‫לא תרדה בו‬, Don’t ‘rule’ over others, ‫בפרך‬, with hard labor. The emphasis in this prohibition is on the refraining from ‘lording’ over others. The Talmud )‫ (סוטה יא‬in reference to the ‫עבודת פרך‬, in Egypt, tells us that ‫ פרך‬is a contraction of the words ‫פה‬ ‫רך‬, literally ‘soft mouth’ (i.e. words). They ‘seduced’ the populace to labor through appealing words and soft sentiments. But it was merely a lure to subjugate them. Perhaps this is the underlying idea in this injunction. Don’t soft talk your way to get others to respond. This can refer even to our calm voice as a boss, teacher, spouse or parent. The manipulating of others by utilizing our position of privilege, including our portraying ourselves as a ‘good and devoted friend’, that others might be afraid or embarrassed to say no to, laced with subtle undertones of expectation, is what we must all be wary of. We must always be sensitive not to abuse that trust or right to ‘get what we want’ or feel we deserve. That’s manipulation. No one should ever need others to be ‘lured’ into their service. It is not as much the pain inflicted on our ‘catch’, but more so the lack of humanity, nay, divinity, that is displayed when we seek to ‘rule’ over man. If we succeed in exhibiting sensitivity and empathy towards others and diminish our sense of entitlement we will enhance our relationships and be deserving of being released from the imposing clutches of our galus!

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME MAY 26, 2016

Alex Gross How did you become the go to Corprate contact in Baltimore?

What does a day in the life of Crusty look like?

I started reading the phone book when I had some pressing issues that needed to be resolved. I would research the right contact person

How does it feel to be a household name?

List some of the companies executive team you’ve spoken to?

I wake up go to shul, go to dunkin dougnuts, drive people around, do a million favors for people, have lunch, drive more people, do more favors, have dinner, do more favors have a second dinner, drive some more people, go on facebook go to sleep.

I’m Crusty How did you get the name Crusty? First off, congratulations on your well deserved community service award. Tell us the history of Alex “Crusty” Gross

I used to have payus as big as Crusty the clown’s, so someone started calling me Crusty and it stuck. I’ve been searching far and wide to find out who it was, to no avail.

Sprint, Uniden, Dexacom, Staples, Walgreens, Riteade, CVS, Sams Club, Nissan, Dunkin Dougnuts, 7-11, Samsung, Take 2 entertainment, Black Berry, Motorola, Verizon, Acura, BGE, Toy’s R’US, Gardner’s Furniture, Advanced Business Systems, The White House, Governor, Lt Governor, Many police agencies, Last but not least ……Tov Pizza.

What is your dream job? Corporate CEO Any pieces of advice you would like to offer our readers? Any thing is possible if you work hard for it. Kids stay in school (till at least 8th grade, lol)

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I was born in Richmond, VA. My family moved to Baltimore when I was 7 years old. My first job in Baltimore was at NYC chicken, which was located where David Chu’s is now. I was hanging out at Tov Pizza during the blizzard of ‘96, and the rest is history.

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MAY 26, 2016

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Exclusive: Meet the new White House Jewish Liaison BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

The Obama Administration is set to name a new liaison to the Jewish community later on Thursday, Jewish Insider has learned. Chanan Weissman will make the transition from the State Department to the White House, becoming the first Modern Orthodox Jew to assume this position for a Democratic administration, according to several sources. Most recently, Weissman served as a spokesperson for the State Department’s Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights and Labor. Matt Nosanchuk, who held the Jewish liaison position for nearly three years, recently transferred to the State Department, à la ‘Trading Places,’ where he is working as a senior advisor in the Office of Religion and Global Affairs. Observers can debate the respective perks of Foggy Bottom and Pennsylvania Avenue, but only one job comes with the pressure of managing the Administration’s relationship with a community rarely described as ‘shy.’ Among the job’s demanding responsibilities, organizing the annual White House Hanukkah parties ranks high. It was once a single event but thanks to Nosanchuk’s efforts to double the number of invited guests, there are now two separate parties. “Over the past three years – or, as anyone holding this role measures it, six White House Hanukkah receptions – I have had the chance to work with incredible colleagues here at the White House and throughout the Administration,” Nosanchuk told the JTA as he stepped down. For Weissman, the silver lining of the eighth year is that he’ll be one and done on the party planning side. The eighth year of any White House presents its own unique challenges. Administrations often cede the spotlight to the election season. President Obama has stressed he will not be a lame-duck president, and ques-

By Jewish Insider Staff

Steve Rabinowitz, Chanan Weissman, Jordan Hirsch at a Jewish Insider wine tasting event. Credit Photo by Ron Sachs from CNP. Courtesy Jewish Insider

tions remain about whether the White House will attempt another push for Israeli-Palestinian negotiations during the final year. According to Alon Pinkas, a former Israeli diplomat who participated in Israeli-Palestinian negotiations following the Camp David summit in 2000, there’s no doubt that at some point between now and January 2017, Obama will seek to outline his own version of the Bill Clinton parameters before leaving office. If the White House decides to refocus on the Middle East, one can expect Weissman to play a critical role. Scott Arogeti, appointed in July of 2008 to be President George W. Bush’s final Jewish liaison, is quite familiar with the timing of Weissman’s new role. “How do you move the ball down the field effectively at a point where the campaign season for your boss’s successor is already in full swing (tak-

ing media and public attention along with it) and most major policy battles are likely in the rear view mirror?” Arogeti told Jewish Insider by email. “From the last person to have this honor for President George W. Bush to the one who will presumably follow suit for President Obama, I wish you the best. (…oh, and good luck with the final Hannukah Party list!).” Of historical note, Weissman is only the third Orthodox Jew — behind Tevi Troy and Marshall Breger — to hold this particular White House position and the first to do so under a Democrat. The Obama Administration, meanwhile, is no stranger to Orthodox Jews as prominent figures, including Treasury Secretary and former White House Chief of Staff Jack Lew and Ambassador Norm Eisen, previously a Special Counsel for Ethics and Government Reform in the White House,

have served closely with the President. In an email to Jewish Insider, Eisen recalled being impressed Weissman early on. “I first met Chanan years ago at the ‘hashkama’ minyan at Kesher Israel in DC, when he was starting his career at the State Department,” Eisen related. “Over cholent, we talked about working in government as observant Jews. I said to myself, someday he will be in the White House. Now he is! He will be a great White House Jewish liaison, continuing the high standard set by Matt and all his predecessors.” “I think there’s an advantage but also a challenge,” Troy, a Bush 43 liaison, told Jewish Insider about being Orthodox in this White House role. “The advantage is that you have instant credibility within the community as knowledgeable and credible representing the community. The challenge is that the bulk of American Jews are not Orthodox and you have to show you can reach out to all.” Weissman could have less difficulty due to his prior experience working on human rights and social justice issues. “If they had to replace Nosanchuk, they could not have made a better choice than Chanan,” Steve Rabinowitz, head of Bluelight Strategies, told Jewish Insider. ”He’s knowledgeable about the issues, the community and the administration. He’s a modest guy, a politics guy, and a delightful guy. The whole package. And he hits the ground running.” Weissman, a graduate of Beth Tfiloh High School in Baltimore, earned his Master’s degree from Georgetown University’s School of Foreign Service and his Bachelor’s degree in journalism and government & politics from the University of Maryland. He lives in Baltimore, Maryland with his wife and three little girls.

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MAY 26, 2016

The

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Chai Lifeline would like to invite the whole community to a night of beautiful and inspiring music

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MAY 26, 2016

MAY 26, 2016 | The Jewish Home

A Fulfilled L fe

Learning Lessons from the Garden By Rabbi Naphtali Hoff

My time outside gives me much opportunity to think and reflect. As an educator, a few ideas come readily to mind. The first relates to the eighth identified intelligence from Howard Gardener’s famous list: naturalist intelligence. Understood in its most literal terms, a naturalist is someone who shows expertise in

pringtime is in full bloom and for many of us that means a reunification with our gardens. If you enjoy working in the outdoors as much as I do, you will likely spend an inordinate amount of time around your home doing everything from planting colorful blooms to weeding and maintaining your plush lawn.

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the recognition and classification of plants and animals. From an educational vantage point it describes a child who possesses naturalist inclinations while sharing many traits of kinesthetic learners. These children flourish from being able to touch, feel, hold, and try practical hands-on experiences, but generally prefer to do so outdoors, surrounded by nature and animals. As with some other forms of intelligence (musical and intrapersonal are two that come quickly to mind) the naturalist learner is at a decided disadvantage in the conventional classroom. Little instructional time is used to connect children to the great outdoors, particularly in schools that are located in colder climates and/or the inner city. Part of that is logistical, as not every school is positioned to promote outdoor learning. Part of this may be attitudinal, as if learning was meant to occur exclusively in a sterile classroom. Regardless, it’s a shame that more of our children do not receive the opportunity to engage more with nature, particularly with a directed learning focus. While in elementary school I was enrolled for three years in an “alternative” learning program. We performed fewer academic activities than our peers and spent more time engaged in vocational ones. Our class baked, dyed wool, did woodwork, and spent many hours in the park, playing, learning, and digging up worms under clumps of earth. Whether or not these experiences helped me in the classroom, I recall them fondly

and have utilized many of the skills that I developed during these years long beyond my time in the program. Teachers who are not inclined to spend meaningful time outside can still help their naturalist students thrive. Some instructional strategies for the naturalist intelligence include having students collect data, observe nature, categorize objects, classify information, care for pets, and study books about nature. Another idea that came to me while laboring outside is metaphorical. Different aspects of the gardening experience conjure up key aspects of child growth and development. Not every bulb shines immediately. There is little that excites the home gardener more than watching daffodils, tulips and other spring flowers emerge from the ground following a long, cold winter. Of course, in order for bulbs to bloom in April they must be planted properly the previous fall (at least for year one). Bulbs teach us the benefit of an early sow and of abundant patience. For a child to emerge as an accomplished learner, we must take the necessary steps to help her achieve success. We must lay the foundation and plant early. We have to know that we will not always see the results of our efforts right away; oftentimes, the fruits of our labor will not be discernable for many months (if not years). Still, in order to reap the beauty of a spring bloom, we must be willing to make the initial effort and then stand back and watch the children blossom.

21 similar. Poor student performance or disruptive conduct may take the form of an external issue, such as meanness, lack of discipline, and poor concentration. Most often, there is some-

Even students who seem to prefer the shade and keep themselves distant still want to know that someone cares about them and is available when needed.

thing deeper that is affecting student achievement and conduct, including unengaging instruction, trouble at home, or low emotional intelligence. In order for us to be successful with our struggling students, we need to be able to “root out” the source of the problem, either on our own or with the help of our colleagues and educa-

and thrive. Metaphorically, sunlight symbolizes attention and love. Students need these ingredients in abundance if they are to reach their potential. Even students who seem to prefer the shade and keep themselves distant still want to know that someone cares about them and is available when needed. While there are certainly many other connections that link garden and classroom, I believe that this list, coupled with a newfound desire to meet the needs of our naturalist learners, can help us achieve maximal results for the balance of the school year and beyond. Happy gardening!

Rabbi Naphtali Hoff is an executive coach and president of Impactful Coaching and Consulting (ImpactfulCoaching.com). He can be reached at 212.470.6139 or at nhoff@impactfulcoaching.com.

MAY 26, 2016

and spreading their unsightly wings wherever they can. The only way to rid your garden of weeds (chemicals notwithstanding) is to rip them out from the root up. A surface cut may help for the short term, but the weeds will return so long as their root structure remains intact. As teachers, we oftentimes experience something

tional partners. Garden early and often. Gardening is not a one-and-done exercise. It requires continued oversight and care. Without such regular efforts, the wild nature of grass, shrubs and the like will quickly lead to your garden to take on the appearance of an unkempt, unsightly prairie. The connection to child raising should be plain enough. Our children require continued love, care and oversight. While they need to be given space to grow, they must also be kept from growing wild. Sometimes, this oversight feels unpleasant. Yet, we know that for children to achieve their growth potential they must be given guidelines and boundaries that will offer them the directed focus and discipline. Expose to sunlight. Sunlight is a necessary component for all vegetation, even for species that thrive in shade. Without ample exposure to the sun, plants cannot access the nourishment that they need to grow

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Weed out the roots. Perhaps the least enjoyable part of gardening is weeding. Weeds are unpleasant to look out and crash our “garden party” by showing up without invitation

Please join usScenes for afrom n evthe entShoresh of suPBBQ PorBanquet t for our community Each day a minyan of ‫ תלמידי חכמים‬recite the entire ‫ ספר תהלים‬at the Kosel in Yerushalayim on behalf of us – the entire Far Rockaway and Five Towns Community. The Sulitze Tehillim Kollel was founded in the early 1970’s by the Sulitze Rebbe ‫ זצ"ל‬to address the many challenges that face our community, and has continued since then with it’s ‫ עבודת הקודש‬to

Therefore we ask you To please join The annual Tehillim kollel Brunch for ladies aT our home: 5 Boxood Lane Lawrence, NY 10:00 a.m. on Sunday Jun. 5 

Mrs. Dina Unger Committe

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support us with their daily tefillos.

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Israelis Can Live the Longest

Japanese women were expected to live the longest on the planet, with an average lifespan of 86.8 years. Swiss men were projected to outstrip the rest on average, at 81.3 years. On the other side of the scale – or the measuring tape – Sierra Leone in West Africa held the other end of the spectrum for both genders, with a mere 50.8 years for women and 49.3 for men.

Defense Minister Ya’alon Resigns

The World Health Organization does not always release the most interesting findings, but their new statistics are certainly interest-peaking. According to the WHO, global life expectancy is rising every year, and Israelis born in 2015 are projected to live among the longest on average on the planet. Between the year 2000 and 2015, global life expectancy increased by five years. There remains significant disparity between wealthy nations and poorer ones, with 29 high-income countries averaging over 80 years life expectancy for their citizens and 22 Sub-Saharan African countries averaging under 60. Israel cracked the top ten by ranking eighth overall with 82.5 years on average, coming just behind Italy and Iceland. Who is expected to live the longest? Japan ranked first overall with an average life expectancy of 83.7 years. The United States had an overall average of 79.3 years. Israeli men born in 2015 were projected to live fifth longest on average, with 80.6 years, and Israeli women ninth overall with 84.3 years. The WHO didn’t account for Palestinians living in the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon left the Ministry of Defense headquarters for the last time this week. The newly resigned minister will not be staying to brief his replacement or be holding any farewell ceremonies. The resignation came about during a very public disagreement with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Before his resignation, Ya’alon leveled harsh accusations against Netanyahu and against the incoming defense minister Avigdor Lieberman. “When the Hebron shooting affair just happened, Netanyahu had agreed with me that we needed to let the military prosecution investigate and handle this,” he said. “And then, when he noticed the public mood, he changed his mind. As a minister, I had to back the IDF chief, but I felt like Netanyahu abandoned me.”

When asked why he was quick to call Sgt. Elor Azaria, who

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shot dead an already-neutralized terrorist in Hebron, the “transgressing soldier,” Ya’alon defensively said, “He simply took the law into his own hands. He opened fire without justification.” Ya’alon also came head to head with Lieberman and Education Minister Naftali Bennett during the Hebron shooting affair. “They ran a smear campaign against me the entire time,” he accused. Before leaving office, Ya’alon announced a plan designed to improve the conditions of Palestinians at West Bank border crossings. The implementation of the new initiative is expected to begin in 2017 and be fully completed within three years. “The plan is intended to increase the number of Palestinian workers passing through the crossings while improving their conditions and meeting the objectives of quality and service,” a statement said. “The waiting time at the crossings will be decreased by 30-50 percent. This will be done in tandem with an upgrade of the technological measures used at the crossings.” The plan will reportedly cost NIS 300 million. Also included in the new measures will be an increase in the number of security-checking areas in order to shorten the waiting hours for Palestinian workers. Security checks will be upgraded with more biometric methods. In addition to fingerprinting, face-recognition will be introduced designed to speed up the checks and improve security at the crossings. The checks will be conducted on both sides of the crossings where Palestinians will have access to shelters, water installations and parking lots. When he was leaving, Ya’alon told members of his General Staff, “Remember: An army needs to win, but it also needs to remain humane. Even after the battle or the operation or the war, we need to maintain our values and remain human beings. I am confident that you will continue to lead and win.”

Iran: We Can Destroy Israel in 8 Minutes

Although the Iranian regime is known for both boasting and lying, a senior Iranian military commander very ominously commented that the Islamic Republic could “raze the Zionist regime in less than eight minutes.” Ahmad Karimpour, a senior adviser to the Iranian Revolutionary Guards’ elite unit al-Quds Force, said if Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei gave the order to destroy Israel, the Iranian military had the capacity to do so quickly. “If the Supreme Leader’s orders [are] to be executed, with the abilities and the equipment at our disposal, we will raze the Zionist regime in less than eight minutes,” Karimpour said last week. This new announcement is coupled with another piece of news on the power of the Persian nation. On May 9, a senior Iranian general announced that the country’s armed forces successfully tested a precision-guided, medium-range ballistic missile two weeks earlier that could reach Israel. “We test-fired a missile with a range of 2,000 kilometers and a margin of error of eight meters,” Brigadier General Ali Abdollahi was quoted as saying at a Tehran science conference. The eight-meter margin means the “missile enjoys zero error,” he told conference participants.

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The Palestinian Heritage Museum opened this week – without having one exhibit. President Mahmoud Abbas said that the 43,000 squarefoot empty space was to “tell the world, the entire world, that we are

MAY 26, 2016

are Arab. The band understood their audience and adapted its usual set of songs to accommodate an Arab crowd. All seemed to be going okay until a half an hour before the show, when the producers banned the band from wearing their yarmulkes “because it will hurt the feelings of our Arab workers.” The band’s director, secular Israeli Noam Cohen, refused to order his musicians to remove their yarmulkes, but offered to have them wear baseball caps as a compromise. Despite this, half an hour after the show began, the director demanded one musician remove his tzitzis, forcing the band manager to confront hotel management over the demands. A recording of the conversation between the hotel manager and the band manager reveals the former indicating he was “disappointed” that the band was not an Arab band, claiming that the band manager did this on purpose as an insult. The band manager furiously denied those claims.

King David Hotel: Remove Your “Palestinian Tzitzis Heritage” Museum Opens – And It’s Empty

In a bizarre story out of the King David Hotel, a band that played at the five star hotel was barred from wearing yarmulkes and tzitzis out of fear of offending its Arab workers. The King David hotel invited the Inbalim band to play for its employees, the vast majority of whom

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Under the nuclear deal signed last year between world powers and Iran, ballistic missile tests are not forbidden outright but are “not consistent” with a United Nations Security Council resolution from July 2015. According to the UN decision, “Iran is called upon not to undertake any activity related to ballistic missiles designed to be capable of delivering nuclear weapons, including launches using such ballistic missile technology” until October 2023. Khamenei has repeatedly threatened to annihilate the Jewish state, and in September 2015 suggested Israel would not be around in 25 years. In a quote posted to Twitter by Khamenei’s official account on September 9, 2015, Khamenei addressed Israel, warning, “You will not see next 25 years,” and added that the Jewish state will be hounded until it is destroyed.

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The Week In News here, that we are still here, and we will continue to be here to build our independent state.” Exhibits were delayed partly because the museum’s director resigned last December over disputes with the museum’s management. He took with him the first exhibit, “Never Part,” which was to showcase personal items of Palestinian refugees. A source close to the project told the media that the museum’s inauguration without exhibits was a disappointment, as it will “not live up to its declared vision of telling the Palestinian people’s story to the world.” The electrician in charge of the sound and lighting for the inauguration said the museum was “a lovely idea, but it’s strange that we have millions [of dollars] for a museum of the Palestinians, but little help for the Palestinians themselves, to give them institutions, or to help with finding them jobs.” “No, there’s no time for the past. We are fed up, we need an intifada [uprising],” he said, adding that he didn’t get “the point” of any of it. $28 million was spent on the museum. According to its curator, it is expected to open in October.

Former spy: Saying Islam is peaceful spurs terrorism

Mosab Hassan Yousef – the “Green Prince” – who worked as an Israeli spy, said “the Jewish nation is

dear to me and when I see nations fighting against the Jewish people it hurts me.” Speaking at The Jerusalem Post’s annual conference in New York on Sunday, Yousef noted that at one point he was working for and being paid by Israel, the U.S., the PA and Hamas, all at the same time. Yousef, the son of West Bank Hamas leader Sheikh Hassan Yousef, helped the Shin Bet thwart attacks from 1997 to 2007. He later went on to write an autobiography published in 2010 titled Son of Hamas. He converted to Christianity and fled to the U.S. where he was granted political asylum. At the conference, Yousef said he was raised to believe that Jews are the enemies of humanity and the Palestinians. However, he continued, that was “until I came to experience what the Jewish nation is, the true democracy in the ocean of darkness.” Yousef recounted how he had witnessed a Palestinian mother send her five children on suicide attacks and how she would bless each one. The former Israeli spy said the mother did this to gain respect in society. The collective mind of society is representing something, an ideology, a culture, a state of consciousness that is stuck in the 6th and 7th centuries in a tribal lust for power, he said. “We can fool ourselves,” he continued, but “there is an Islamic problem,” going on to mention various radical Islamic terrorist groups such as Hamas, Hezbollah, Boko Haram and Islamic State. “All killing in the name of Allah,” he said adding that other religions do not act in such ways. “There is an Islamic problem and humanity needs to stand against this danger.” Political correctness means to bury your head in the sand, but we are afraid of the truth and of “trying to provoke them, to not create a religious war. But there is one whether you like it or not.” This threat needs to be faced with “courage,” said

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Yousef. “To tell them Islam is the religion of peace gives them the ability to continue terror.” Islam is a belief system and the world should unify against it just as it did against Nazism, he went on to argue. “When the president of the free world stands and says ‘Islam is a religion of peace’ he creates a climate to create more terrorism,” asserted Yousef. The Jewish people were able to overcome the Holocaust and instead of playing the victim card, built a democratic state, which sets a great example, concluded Yousef. “I came from hell,” and “I love what Israel stands for.”

A Taste of the Golden Gate

for $125 a bottle, is made from fog. And it’s not just any fog. The mist in your alcohol is culled from “fog catchers” in four spots around San Francisco. The dew is then sanitized and bits of leaves and debris are removed. “I love that the water has a little bit of an earthy note to it,” head distiller Caley Shoemaker says. “[It’s] like, if you’re standing next to a stream on a warm day, the scent of moist rocks.” Perhaps some would think that drinking fog is a bit unnerving. But consider that the vodka is made in San Francisco, a city known for residents who are recycle enthusiasts and that’s been hit by a drought. As Time points out, the beverage “embodies values the Bay Area worships: sustainability and local production.” Hey, now you don’t have to head to San Fran when you want to experience the Bay. You can enjoy your Fog Point and drink it all in.

The Goatman

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Aah! The life of a goat. Don’t you envy the calm days of chewing on grass, butting horns with your friends, and bleating yourself into oblivion? Well, despite your desire to remain human (and sane) there is one person who wished himself a goat. Thomas Thwaites decided to take a break from being human. After all, there are so many wor-

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er. And then they hoofed it. They walked along Ventura Boulevard, through North Hollywood and Toluca Lake, stopping for a memorial toast at a watering hole near Warner Bros. Studios.

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So you think you’re a fan? Think again. Many people complain about

fans – set off on foot for Dodger Stadium from Sherman Oaks, 22 miles away. “We parked on Sutton Street, so we’d remember,” said Lewitt, referencing the 16-season Dodgers pitch-

MAY 26, 2016

22 Miles to the Game

traffic as they head to Dodgers games in Los Angeles. Not many people do something about it. Last week, nine hours before game time, Jay Lewitt and Rick Gottesman – buddies since grade school, pals for life and major

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ries one has while standing on two feet. So for some time, Thwaites transformed himself into a goat and spent his days grazing in the Alps. Now that he’s human again, Thwaites – what else? – wrote a book about his experiences. In it, he describes his time spent munching on greenery with a herd of goats. Goats, like other livestock, graze for about seven to 12 hours a day. During that time, goats use an organ called a rumen that is filled with microorganisms that help them break down all that grass into edible sugars. Does “chewing its cud” come to mind? Unfortunately for Thwaites and despite his deep desire to become a goat, humans aren’t ruminants. As he considered his options, he came up with an idea. He built himself a pouch. The pouch collected the grass he grazed on all day. “I kind of quickly learned which patches of grass were kind of tasty and which were a bit kind of bitter,” Thwaites related. “It was just a nice experience walking around with a big clump of grass in your teeth and chewing it up.” Then at night, Thwaites used a standard pressure cooker to cook the grass and break it down into a kind of “grass-stewy soup.” Back to his human life, Thwaites is still thinking of goats. He wants to work on building a “kind of artificial rumen,” but that’ll likely take some time. Perhaps he can start to eat other food besides for grass. Maybe he’ll like some kale.

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So how far did they walk? 22 miles – that’s 45,974 steps, or to put it in baseball speak, 323 consecutive times around the bases. 57-year-old Gottesman explained their journey, “We’ve always been sports nuts, and we thought it’d be a good way to kill an afternoon.” “It’s another way to see the city,” Lewitt, 56, added. “As they build more sound walls, you see less and less of the place.”

So it wasn’t just about the game; the journey was a destination of its own. Walking L.A. brought them some memorable “typical L.A.” moments. They met an actor collecting autographs. They toured the subway station, meandered through quaint neighborhoods, and almost collided with some wild drivers. The duo started their trip at 10am and then entered the stadium just as Clayton Kershaw prepared to take the mound. “We got lucky,” Lewitt said of their game-time arrival. Or maybe the team just waited for their devoted fans.

A Beer’s Eye View Of course the neighborhood Chinese takeout offers free delivery. And we’ve heard of pizzas being delivered via drone. But what about beer? Ever need that brew and just

don’t have any energy to head to the store? For those of you living in Canada (and that’s probably not you) Phillips Brewing in Vancouver has announced a contest, Beer from a Bird, in which the winner will have the company’s new pilsner delivered by a bald eagle on June 5.

third time, in 1989, was a charm. He remembers reading at the time that if you can do something for 21 days, it becomes a habit. He said 1989 was a mild winter, which helped him as he is an outdoor runner. Williamson sticks to the streets, regardless of the weather. If he works out indoors, it’s for weight training and use of a stationary bike to supplement his primary exercise. Treadmills are not an option for him because he runs in every type of weather.

Four-year-old Hercules will handle the delivery, which will occur at Phillips’ patio in downtown Vancouver, B.C. “He won’t be flying that far,” said Robyn Radcliffe of Pacific Northwest Raptors, the group that’s partnered with the brewery. “Half a kilometer, probably. It’s sort of up to him.” Let the eagle soar.

10,000 Days and Counting Run, Kip, run! Lenworth “Kip” Williamson is running strong. On January 1, 1989, the now-57-year-old vowed to run daily that year. Most of us throw our resolutions to the wayside just a few days later. But the Massachusetts man has kept this resolution going. May 18, 2016 marked his 10,000 consecutive day running. Despite the achievement, he is keeping his eyes on the prize: His next milestone will be running 30 years straight on December 31, 2018. Kip tried to implement his daily running in 1987 and in 1988. His

“I have two rules,” Williamson said. “I must run three or more miles on each run. And no excuses.” With that goal, he considers a three-mile run a rest day. He mixes in at least one long run a week, which can range from six to eight miles. He jogs 30 or more miles weekly and at least 130 miles a month. “It’s a good time to think,” Williamson said. “I guess I enjoy the endorphins and it’s just part of who I am at this point.” Weather doesn’t matter to this runner. And time of day doesn’t

bother him either. He can run at 2am or at 11pm – as long as he gets in his run. When his son got his Master’s degree at Columbia University last week, he got a run in at 2 a.m. before he and his wife caught a predawn train. “There were nine cars moving, three coyotes and one guy riding a bicycle who I thought was crazier than me,” Williamson said. This is not Kip’s first foray into running. He has always loved the sport. He ran track and cross country in high school and college. His most common events were the 800 meter and two-mile run. But he would do shorter runs if he needed to fill in for someone. His racing days ended in 1999 when he ran his final Boston Marathon. He doesn’t want to run competitively anymore, saying the streak is enough for him. Not racing has enabled him to do what he is doing, as he avoids injury and doesn’t get sick, he added. Today, Williamson said he knows his pace. If he’s in a strange place, he’ll run 20 minutes and run back, which he knows is more than three miles. He runs an eight and a half to nine minute mile. But his personal best is a four minute and 26 second one, when he was in peak shape in his youth. “As long as my legs keep working, I’ll keep going,” Williamson said. “The thing that would get me to stop would be so catastrophic that the running would be insignificant compared to it.”

Raising Healthy Siblings when a Child is Ill

MAY 26, 2016

PHOTO CREDIT: URI ARNSON

By Cheryl Book, Ph.D.

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

Fitting Everyone In

With some help from parents, brothers and sisters of seriously ill children can thrive through childhood and young adulthood

cluding medicine, mental health, and social work, as a result of their experiences. Strategies for helping children understand and grow despite adversity include: • Communicating. Let siblings know what is happening and underscore that another’s illness is not their fault. Let them know that their wellbeing matters, as well. Talk to your children. Ask how they are doing. Validate the reality that they feel: it’s hard for them to be a brother or sister. Seeing a sibling in pain, feeling that they can’t have friends over because of another’s medical challenges, even feeling embarrassed or angry are all normal responses. The more you communicate your empathy and acceptance, the easier it will be for healthy siblings. • Empowering. If your healthy children express an interest in being involved with a child’s medical care, allow them to help. The assistance can be as simple, like helping a sibling

down the stairs or reading to a brother or sister before bedtime, or as complex as the child’s age, maturity, and interests allow. • Spending time with the ill child’s siblings. Even parents who move into the hospital with sick children can spend a few minutes speaking on the phone or Skyping with children at home. Never let a day go by without all your children feeling like they had your complete attention even for a few minutes. • Talking to your children’s schools. When it comes to pediatric illness, many parents want to maintain as high a level of privacy as possible. However, siblings do better when teachers know that all is not okay at home. They can look for red flags that signal distress and hopefully intervene before small issues become major challenges. • Understanding normal adolescent behavior. The teenage years are a time of individuation, and some rebellion is normal. Be on the

lookout for extremes of both positive and negative behaviors, disordered eating patterns, and even discarding being a teenager in favor of becoming an adult too soon. It’s normal for children in large families to pitch in and help. It’s not normal for them to disregard schoolwork or express that “I’m the mommy now” or “I’m the father.” Behavior that is too good may be a result of the child’s temperament or a sign that they are suffering. • Giving your children options for sharing. They may not want to tell a parent everything, or you may not be physically available. But it’s important that every child and teen have someone – a relative, family friend or “Big Brother/Sister” –with whom they can confide.

Dr. Cheryl Book is director of family and clinical services at Chai Lifeline, the international children’s health support network. For more information on this topic, contact her at cbook@chailifeline.org.

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hen a child is born or diagnosed with a serious illness, brothers and sisters are bound to be impacted. Why do some exhibit signs of stress or depression while others seem to thrive? Siblings living alongside a child with a chronic illness will experience a jumble of positive and negative reactions. They can feel love and a combination of resentment, embarrassment, guilt, sorrow or fear simultaneously. Without the skills to understand and cope, a child’s self-esteem can suffer. Anger and guilt can turn inward, leading to a sense of shame or worthlessness. Depression, anxiety or somatic symptoms can arise. Research has shown that siblings who receive emotional support and assistance from parents and other caring adults can become stronger, more resilient, more compassionate and tolerant. Anecdotal evidence seems to support the notion that many brothers and sisters choose careers in the helping professions, in-

2016

Shavuot

Iyar 29

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Ahavas Yisrael 24 Hour Charidy Event 2 PM - - - - - - - - - - - - 2 PM

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8:19 PM

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MAY 26, 2016

Meron The Magic and the Mystique By Malky Lowinger

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

y the end of this week, hundreds of thousands of Jews will have made the pilgrimage to Meron, the burial site of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai. Most will be coming by bus, climbing the mountain, joining in the celebration, davening for yeshuos, and eventually returning to their homes uplifted and inspired. Meron is considered one of the holiest sites in Eretz Yisroel and one of its most popular tourist destinations. But what’s the story behind this majestic mountain? And why is everybody coming here? A tour guide and a local resident give us some insight to this most inspiring and extraordinary area.

WHERE IS MERON? Meron is located in Northern Israel, just a few

miles opposite of Tzfas. The actual burial site (tziyon) of Rashbi is located near the foot of a double peaked mountain, which is called Mt. Meron/Bar Yochai by the Jews and Mount Jermaq by the Arabs. Standing at 1208 meters (3,963 feet) in elevation, Meron was the tallest mountain in Israel before the 1967 War, and today it’s the second tallest. While most tourists only visit the kever of Rabbi Shimon, those in the know enjoy the lovely hiking trails which are located further up the mountain. Until the 1920s there was no proper road leading to Meron, and visitors would have to hike the path from Tzfas through Wadi Amud in order to get there. Then, a wealthy American tourist, Reb Yisroel Konigsberg, vis-

ited the area with his sons and decided to sponsor the building of a road which paved the way for vehicular traffic to ascend the mountain to the tziyon. These days, tourists typically travel to Meron from Jerusalem, a trip that takes three to four hours. During the summer, the air on the mountain is crisp and clear. During the winter, the land is often covered with clean white snow. Even during a heat wave, the area generally cools off comfortably in the evening hours.

HISTORY According to Sefer Ta’amei Haminhagim, it was originally the students of Rabbi Shimon themselves who visited the site often, following his instructions. But it wasn’t until the year 1210 that Rab-

bi Shmuel bar Shimshon first documented his visit there. “I found the beis medrash of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai,” he writes. “It is square and inside is the tzion of Rabbi Shimon and his son Elazar. Upon it are two trees and it is a beautiful place.” In 1522, Rabbi Moshe Basolo visited Meron and wrote, “On Tu B’Iyar, Pesach Sheini, great caravans of people gather at Meron. There were more than one hundred people there, many coming from Damascus with their wives and children.” According to the Shelah Hakodosh, gedolei Yisroel came to Meron to daven. “At the grave of Rashbi,” he wrote, “they study the Zohar with awe and trembling and great deveikus, for miracles took place there. “ It was the Ari z”l who

popularized the custom of mass pilgrimage to the site. According to his talmid, Rav Chaim Vital, he came there to learn and to “fulfill the ancient custom” of the chalakah, the cutting of the hair of a three-year-old boy. As time went on, many others would join the mekubalim from Tzfas at the tziyon on Lag B’omer. Rav Ovadia MiBartenura mentions the lighting of torches at the site on Lag B’omer, and adds that “many barren women were remembered and many sick people were cured with a neder and a nedava to the place.” Until the sixteenth century, the tziyon was located in an open field. But then a stone structure was built to house the holy site. The building served as a beis medrash for those who came to

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The ancient shul near Meron

HOLY SITES

as a landmark by the Antiquities Authority.

THE PEOPLE About 150 families currently live in the village of Meron, which was established in 1949 by religious soldiers after the War of Independence. It’s a diverse

state New York, currently lives there with her family. She says she came here because Rabbi Scheinberger encouraged his followers to move to this area, as it is filled with kedusha. Did she ever experience open miracles here? “Our whole lives,” she says, “are like miracles.”

According to Chaim the tour guide, there’s an old joke circulating among the locals that people even rent out their bathtubs for tourists to sleep in!

bi Elazar, the son of Rabbi Shimon, on the twenty fifth day of Elul. As Rashi is a descendant of Rabbi Yochanan HaSandlar, some have a custom of visiting the area on the 27 th of Tamuz, the yahrtzeit of Rashi. The ruins of an ancient synagogue which was built about 2,000 years ago are also found on the mountain, but that structure was severely damaged and destroyed by earthquakes. What remains is an entranceway, with three doors and a supporting wall. The shul, which is said to have served the Jews of the ancient Tekoa, is called Churbat Shema and is preserved

community, ranging from dati to secular. Nearby are two yishuvim. Ohr HaGanuz is largely inhabited by American chassidim of Rabbi Mordechai Scheinberger, a prominent teacher of kabbalah in the Old City of Yerushalayim. The other settlement is a dati leumi yishuv called Bar Yochai. Many residents of the area rent out tzimmerin (guest rooms) to visiting tourists. There aren’t too many English speakers in the community of Meron, but in Ohr HaGanuz there are plenty. The Moshav was founded in 1989 and currently is the home to about 75 families. Yochi, who grew up in up-

The community lives a very simple lifestyle. “We are in the middle of the woods,” Yochi explains. “Think cows, chickens and goats. It’s a slower way of life, peaceful and quiet. At eight or nine o’clock at night, you won’t see anyone outdoors anymore. At four o’clock in the morning, the men are already going to the mikvah or to shul.” Ohr HaGanuz is about 30-45 minutes walking distance from Meron, so Yochi runs a guesthouse for visiting tourists. What happens when the world descends upon their quiet little community on Lag B’omer? She and many of her neighbors

rent out their own homes as a source of parnassah. And where do they go? Yochi’s family stays at the preschool where she teaches, but others simply choose to pitch tents for the night. Hosting visitors is a chief source of income in this area, it seems. According to Chaim the tour guide, there’s an old joke circulating among the locals that people even rent out their bathtubs for tourists to sleep in!

NATURE TRAILS There’s an abundance of nature trails in the area, the most popular being Nachal Amud which connects Meron to Tzfas. A typical family-style hike at a leisurely pace lasts about three hours, and most of it is in the shade. The hike features lush vegetation, breathtaking cliffs, canyons, waterfalls, rock formations and natural pools.

A PLACE OF MIRACLES Stories abound of those who have experienced yeshuos after davening at Rashbi’s kever. Says Chaim, “It’s that kind of place. Many times people share with us that they davened for a yeshuah and were answered. We’ve had people coming here davening for shidduchim, refuos, children, easy childbirth, etc.” Chaim is grateful to have

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While the tziyon of Rabbi Shimon and his son Rabbi Elazar are the most famous holy sites in Meron, there are certainly others. A staircase located to the left of the building housing Rabbi Shimon’s tziyon leads down a hill to the burial cave of Hillel Hazaken and his students. Further down the same path is the tziyon of Shammai Hazkon. And nearby are the kevorim of Rabbi Yochanan HaSandlar and Rav Yossi ben Kisma. The tziyon of Rav Ada Sava and (according to some authorities) Rav Yeibo Sava, both Talmudic sages, are also located in the

immediate area. Visitors come to Meron all year long, but certain dates (aside from Lag B’omer) have special significance. Many travel to the area on Zayin Adar, Moshe Rabbeinu’s yahrtzeit. It is also a popular destination on the yahrtzeit of Rab-

MAY 26, 2016

learn Torah and kabbalah, and it was a popular place for talmidei chachomim to begin writing their seforim. According to Chaim, a tour guide with Artzeinu, the building we see today is not the real burial site. “The bodies,” he says, “are actually buried in a cave several meters below the building. The entrance to the cave collapsed in an earthquake some time ago and in the present room there are only the markers above the caves.” Burial in caves was common in ancient times. In 1836 a group of Jews started a settlement on top of the mountain but in 1837 it was wiped out in a massive earthquake.

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MAY 26, 2016

36 the zechus of visiting the area often with his tourists, but still prefers to come when it’s not crowded so he can feel the kedusha in the air and have the time “to think, to meditate, and to daven – to really talk to G-d!” The most famous of all the miracles of Meron occurred back in the 1920s and is recorded in Sefer Ta’amei Minhagim. There are some variations to the story, but here’s what happened according to Chaim: “A widow brought her only son on Lag B’omer for his upsherin. The child had her husband’s name as he was born soon after his father had died. There was a large crowd in the room by the cave markers. She was holding her child by the hand, but when the crowd suddenly surged forward, the mother lost

her grip and the child disappeared. She began to scream hysterically and the crowd broke up, revealing the child laying motionless on the floor. “A British doctor was assigned to the area and he examined the motionless body.

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Insight

Several tense moments passed until he finally shook his head sadly. The woman fell upon the body of her son, looked up to shamayim and shouted bitterly, protesting her loss. “A mekubal who had been studying nearby saw all

this happening. He walked over to the body and shouted for everyone to leave the building. As they were leaving, he picked up the child and placed him upon the grave marker of Rabbi Shimon. Then he too left and closed the doors behind him.

The rabbi silently prayed and several minutes later, the sounds of a crying child were heard from the room. Upon opening the doors, there was the child standing on the marker – fully alive!” Close to a century later, that story is still being told as thousands upon thousands continue to make the pilgrimage to Meron on Lag B’omer. And while Egged management and Israeli police have worked tirelessly to simplify and expedite the experience, it’s still quite an exhausting and time-consuming trip. Yet the thousands who gather there each year are undeterred. Young and old, men and women, religious and secular, they all want to feel the holiness. And everyone wants to experience their own special miracle.

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MAY 26, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Political Crossfire

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

Donald, Hillary and the Bernie Factor By Charles Krauthammer

the Nevada state convention and after his string of recent victories in West Virginia, Indiana and Oregon and the virtual draw in Kentucky. She needs him. Normally, endorsements don’t matter in American politics. But the Sanders constituency is substantial and very loyal. And rather angry now as they can see the Clinton machine winning the nomination through superdelegates. She needs his blessing and active support in the general election. If not carefully cultivated and appeased, say, on the party platform and/or vice presidential choice, Sanders could very well disappear after the Philadelphia convention and leave her to her own devices – which are much lacking, as demonstrated in her recent primary losses. She needs to keep his legions in the game through November. At the very least, she needs him to warn his followers away from a Trump temptation. That, after all, is Trump’s path to victory: Add a few industrial blue states to the traditional must-win swing states – Ohio and Florida, most obviously – and pull off an Electoral College win. The Clinton

counterstrategy is based on the global demographics. Trump’s unfavorable numbers are impressive: 79 percent among Hispanics, 73 percent among nonwhites, 72 percent among young people, 64 percent among women, 57 percent in the general population.

This time around, Trump reacted to the terror attack in San Bernardino with a nakedly nativist, shamelessly demagogic, yet politically shrewd call for (temporarily, allegedly) banning all Muslims from entering the U.S. Roundly denounced by Democrats

At the very least, she needs him to warn his followers away from a Trump temptation.

Which is the more compelling scenario? Right now, Clinton has the distinct advantage. Flipping reliably Democratic states, as well as lowering Trump’s high negatives, are both very difficult. But there’s one wild card: events – unforeseen, unforeseeable, yet near inevitable. We are highly unlikely to go the next six months without a significant crisis. In September 2008, the financial collapse cemented Obama’s victory when he, the novice, reacted far more calmly and steadily than did John McCain, the veteran.

and leading Republicans alike, Trump watched his poll numbers go through the roof. Turns out that GOP voters supported the ban, 2 to 1. A candidate with the tactical acuity to successfully deploy such breathtaking, bigotry-tinged cynicism is not to be trifled with. Under normal circumstances, Clinton wins. But if the fire alarm goes off between now and Election Day, all bets are off. Clinton had better be ready. Trump has shown that he will be. (c) 2016, The Washington Post Writers Group

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trade, Wall Street, NATO and interventionism. It turns out that the ultimate general election question is not where Cruz or Rubio or Kasich supporters are going – almost all seem to be making their tortuous way to Trump – but where do Bernie Sanders’ supporters go? Most will, of course, go to Hillary. Some will stay home. But Trump is making a not-so-subtle pitch to those Democrats and independents who gave Sanders his victories in the industrial Midwest. The Trump and Sanders constituencies share one stark characteristic: They are both overwhelmingly white. In the Rust Belt, the appeal is to middle- and working-class voters who have suffered economic and social dislocation. The question is whether Trump can win a sufficient number of those voters, erstwhile Reagan Democrats, to flip just a few states that, like Michigan and Pennsylvania, have gone Democratic for the last six elections. Which is why Clinton is treating Sanders so (relatively) gently. She wants to be rid of him but cannot alienate his constituency – especially after the ruckus made by his supporters at

MAY 26, 2016

mong the abundant ironies of this election cycle, there is this: We are now in the eighth year of the most liberal administration since Lyndon Johnson’s. The primary elections reveal a national mood of anxiety, apprehension and anger, in turn reflecting stagnation at home and failure abroad. Twothirds of Americans think the country is on the wrong track. Yet after nearly two terms of Barack Obama’s corrosively unsuccessful liberalism – both parties have decisively moved left. Hillary Clinton cannot put away a heretofore marginal, self-declared socialist. He has forced her into leftward genuflections on everything from trade to national health care. At the same time, Bernie Sanders has created a remarkably resilient insurgency calling for – after Obama, mind you – a political revolution of the left. The Republicans’ ideological about-face is even more pronounced. They’ve chosen as their leader a nationalist populist who hardly bothers to pretend any allegiance to conservatism. Indeed, Donald Trump is, like Sanders, running to the left of Clinton on a host of major issues including

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MAY 26, 2016

MARCH 10, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Jewish History

Amulets, Accusations and Controversy The Devastating Polemic Between Rabbi Yaakov Emdenand Rabbi Yonason Eybeschutz By Rabbi Pini Dunner

THE STORY SO FAR: Despite the conversion to Islam of false messiah Shabbetai Tzvi in 1666 and his death in 1676, secret societies of Sabbatians who still believed in his messianic mission thrived in communities across Europe and continued to be active well into the eighteenth century. One prominent rabbi who fell under suspicion early in his career was R’ Yonason Eybeschutz, whose name emerged during a campaign to root out Sabbatians in 1725. R’ Yonason successfully dismissed the allegations and signed his name on a toughly worded ban against Sabbatianism and its adherents. But when he was appointed Chief Rabbi of the illustrious triple-community Hamburg-Altona-Wandsbeck twentyfive years later the accusations resurfaced. Kabbalistic amulets he had given pregnant women for their protection were opened up, and one of them was brought to R’ Yaakov Emden for his evaluation by a concerned group of local community members. At first R’ Yaakov refused to look at it, but after being reassured that his name would not be mentioned, he reluctantly agreed to examine the amulet. He quickly spotted a coded reference to Shabbetai Tzvi and showed it to his visitors. The scene was now set for an explosive showdown between the Chief Rabbi and his detractors.

PART VII

espite R’ Yaakov’s request that his name be kept out of the matter, his involvement soon became an open secret. It seemed as if everyone in the community had expected his negative verdict on the amulet, and notwithstanding his reluctance to be associated with the investigation, particu-

larly because he felt that his opinion would be immediately dismissed as biased, the talk in the triple-community was that R’ Yaakov had uncovered R’ Yonason’s darkest secret and was ready to go public with what he knew. It was only a matter of time before R’ Yonason himself was informed of the rumors, and after discussing strategy with his closest advisors, he decided to send a messenger to R’ Yaakov in an attempt to try and

put a lid on the matter before it spiraled out of control. The messenger arrived at R’ Yaakov’s home bearing a friendly letter asking R’ Yaakov to disclose his views on the amulet so that R’ Yonason could offer an explanation. A rather surprised R’ Yaakov told the messenger that he was not quite sure why the Chief Rabbi was approaching him, as he had never expressed any opinion as to who the author of the amulet was and had certainly never suggested

As the controversy gathered pace, the gentile population began to take an interest, particularly as the fight revolved around kabbalistic amulets. In this contemporary German publication they even included an illustration depicting rabbis battling over amulets

“Draw your own conclusions, but one thing I can tell you for certain: the author of this amulet, and any amulets like it, is a highly dangerous man, a heretic of the worst kind.”

The following morning there was a knock at R’ Yaakov’s door. It was Tuesday, February 2, 1751. When R’ Yaakov came to the door he was shocked to find a full-sized horse drawn carriage standing on the street outside his house. The man at the door informed him that he worked for the Jewish community and was there to bring R’ Yaakov to the community’s headquarters for an emergency meeting. R’ Yaakov was astonished. This was no ordinary invitation, and he realized this was not going to be an ordinary

“Let me make one thing very clear,” he began, “I have never made any public pronouncement suggesting that R’ Yonason Eybeschutz is a heretic and nor do I want to. On the contrary, I have made it abundantly clear to the handful of people I have spoken to that I want to stay completely out of this matter, and not be involved in any way whatsoever. Frankly, I have no interest in getting into a fight with the Chief Rabbi and his supporters, nor do I wish to involve myself with sordid communal politics. In fact, as you well know, I despise community politics. So, unless you can give me a good reason to be here, I would like to leave immediately.” The atmosphere in the room shifted; suddenly no one was smil-

A manuscript that sold recently in auction containing R’ Yonason Eybeschutz’s Torah teachings as recorded by a devoted student in Metz. R’ Yonason’s students fiercely defended their beloved teacher when he was accused of Sabbatian heresy

gifted orator, a decisive halachist, and a source of wisdom and advice. If R’ Yaakov went public with what he believed to be true, or his name became associated with an attack on R’ Yonason’s credibility, all chaos would break loose. R’ Yaakov made one last attempt to avoid the inevitable storm. “Gentlemen,” he said, “you are making a big mistake. I am not the appropriate person to offer guidance. This problem needs to be brought to the attention of the greatest rabbis of our generation. Go and show them the amulets, and let them decide what to do. You know me – I want to lead a private, undisturbed life. That is why I chose to leave the rabbinate. Please leave me out of this, and use the appropriate channels to sort it out.” The president of the community looked at his colleagues, and then back at R’ Yaakov. “Rabbi, if only it was so simple. Unfortunately your name is already associated with the exposition of the amulet. You can’t avoid that reality, and you cannot ignore our plea for help. We desperately need to understand why you believe the amulet to be Sabbatian so that we can take things further. And we really need to know from you how bad the amulet is.”

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community board to intervene in order to prevent his authority from being compromised by R’ Yaakov and others who were spreading rumors across the community.

ing. R’ Yaakov gazed at each member of the executive committee individually, looking to each one for a response, but they were all silent. So he reached for his hat and coat and began to leave. “Hold on, hold on,” it was the president of the community speaking. “R’ Yaakov, hold on, I’m begging you, please don’t leave. We are in a crisis, and you are a part of that crisis, whatever you say.” R’ Yaakov eyed him intently. The president gulped, and continued: “The Chief Rabbi is flatly denying the accusations of heresy, and yet we have heard from a number of people that you believe the author of the amulet – allegedly his amulet – is a heretic who believes in Shabbetai Tzvi. The entire community is in a total frenzy. You can’t just walk away from this! We need to know why you said the amulet is heretical. And if you believe it is a Sabbatian amulet, you need to explain why we should be concerned. Rabbi, if we don’t know the answers to these questions how do you expect us to deal with this matter adequately and properly? At the very least, we need you to help us navigate this emergency situation. After all, this is your community as much as it is ours. Who else besides for you can we turn to? Surely you do not want to see our community destroyed?” R’ Yaakov slowly sat down. The president’s plea had made a strong impact. It suddenly dawned on R’ Yaakov that he was in too deep to walk away. But at the same time he realized that whatever he said there would be terrible repercussions for him. If he belittled the Sabbatian nature of the amulet, and then at a later date R’ Yonason would be exposed as an insidious Sabbatian infiltrator with a mission to theologically destroy Judaism, how would he ever live that down? How would he forgive himself for having missed the opportunity to stop him in his tracks? The alternative was no less scary. Everyone knew that R’ Yonason had countless defenders who would never believe anything remotely bad about their hero. For them R’ Yonason was the paradigmatic rabbi – learned, pious, and charismatic; a brilliant teacher, a

MAY 26, 2016

meeting. He asked the community employee if the Chief Rabbi was expected to be there, but was informed that only the executive committee of the lay leadership would be in attendance. R’ Yaakov arrived at the meeting fearing the worst, but his apprehension was quickly dispelled. The three members of the executive committee – all personal friends for many years – were extremely respectful, and the atmosphere was amiable and benign. He sat at the head of the table and they explained apologetically how circumstances had forced them to act in this abrupt manner, but only because of the sensitivity of the matter at hand. After all, one of them said, it is not every day that the Chief Rabbi is accused of being a heinous heretic by another senior rabbi in the community. They all laughed heartily. But R’ Yaakov didn’t even smile.

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that it was the Chief Rabbi who had written it. He had simply expressed his view that the formulation of the amulet was Sabbatian in origin and whoever had written it was a dangerous heretic. When this message came back to R’ Yonason, he immediately called a meeting at his home of the community’s most prominent lay-leaders and informed them of the behindthe-scenes dialogue with R’ Yaakov and his insistence that the amulet contained Sabbatian heresy. The gathered dignitaries listened as R’ Yonason recalled how he had battled accusations of Sabbatianism in the past, without anyone ever presenting a shred of evidence to prove anything against him. And now, once again, he was in the frame. R’ Yonason’s voice quivered with emotion as he passionately denied that his amulets were Sabbatian or heretical in any way, and he requested for the

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MAY 26, 2016

40 R’ Yaakov looked at them, sighed, and reached into his pocket. He took out the letter received from R’ Yonason only days earlier and passed it to the president, who immediately began to read it. R’ Yaakov then took out the amulet he had been shown. The amulet – now covered with R’ Yaakov’s handwritten notes – was

never told anyone the amulet was his, only that it was Sabbatian. So why did he write to me? What is he so nervous about? Draw your own conclusions, but one thing I can tell you for certain: the author of this amulet, and any amulets like it, is a highly dangerous man, a heretic of the worst kind. If it is R’ Yonason,

“The entire community is in a total frenzy. You can’t just walk away from this!”

passed around in complete silence. After a few minutes R’ Yaakov spoke softly to the three lay-leaders. “My friends – I wish it wasn’t true, but as you can from my notes, this amulet is a sick and twisted example of Sabbatian heresy. Before I received the Chief Rabbi’s letter I

then his powerful influence over so many people across the Jewish world, not just in our community, presents the gravest danger to our faith since Shabbetai Tzvi himself, and maybe worse.” “But,” said R’ Yaakov, “I don’t expect you to believe me . . . go to oth-

er experts, as many as you like, and check it out for yourselves. You need to, so that this controversy does not become framed as a personal battle between me and him.” The president stood up, shook R’ Yaakov’s hand, and thanked him for coming. “Perhaps we can meet again on Thursday once we have discussed this with the whole community board.” R’ Yaakov smiled and nodded, and the meeting was over. The following morning the three members of the executive committee called the rest of the board for a full emergency meeting. Without embellishment they repeated what they had heard from R’ Yaakov and passed around the amulet and R’ Yonason’s letter. A discussion began, but there was no consensus. Several members of the board simply dismissed R’ Yaakov as a troublemaker, jealous of R’ Yonason for having taken the rabbinic position he felt belonged to him. Others were

furious that anyone was accusing their spiritual leader of being a heretic. And then there were those who felt that the mere hint of suspicion against the Chief Rabbi was a disgrace to their community, and the Chief Rabbi would have to go. The meeting descended into a screaming match, and despite hours of heated debate nothing was agreed or resolved. Meanwhile R’ Yonason was informed of the secret meeting between R’ Yaakov and the executive committee and the emergency board meeting, and others whispered to him that there were plans afoot to see him deposed from his post. In a panic, he called an urgent meeting of his closest supporters, to form a strategy to defend himself against the emerging storm. His supporters promised him a phased strategy to deal with the threat. First they would deal with R’ Yaakov. He would have to be neutralized. Then they would deal with the executive

by a group of people who asked me to examine an amulet, and to give my assessment of its contents. After studying it carefully I confirmed that the amulet contained Sabbatian heresy. However, neither then nor since have I ever suggested that the author of the amulet was our community’s Chief Rabbi, R’ Yonason Eybeschutz. Just to be clear, I am not currently in a fight with R’ Yonason, nor have I ever fought with him. The person I have a fight with is the author of the amulet, whoever he may be. “And let me state for the record, so that no one can be in any doubt: the amulet that was shown to me,

and publicly explained the contents of all his amulets when this saga began. But that is now in the past. The facts are as they are, and we are where we are. All that matters now is that I am ready, with all my heart, to put this behind us – if it is proven that I have made a terrible mistake. But for that to happen R’ Yonason needs to do what he needs to do.” With that R’ Yaakov stepped down from the bimah and disappeared into his house. The synagogue was quiet for a moment and then erupted in heated conversation as the magnitude of what had just happened came into focus. Without saying it explicitly, R’ Yaakov Em-

“It’s all over town,” he gasped, “they are planning to come and kill you.”

den had accused the Chief Rabbi of being a Sabbatian heretic. The genie was out of the bottle, and what had until then been an unofficial rumor now had the backing of none other than R’ Yaakov Emden.

NEXT TIME: R’ Yaakov Emden’s public statement meant that the community leaders had to react. But how would they react? Would they side with R’ Yaakov, and challenge their Chief Rabbi to come clean? Or would they stand by R’ Yonason, whose honor was at stake, and dismiss R’ Yaakov’s accusation out of hand? The EmdenEybeschutz controversy was about to enter its most contentious stage, and the lives of both protagonists were about to be thrown into complete turmoil. Rabbi Pini Dunner is the Rav of Young Israel North Beverly Hills in California.

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and that I was asked about, is entirely heretical, and the person who wrote it and gave it out for the purposes of healing, is without question a heretic. Yes, you heard correctly, and I will say it again. There is not an iota of doubt in my mind that the man who wrote the amulet is an apikoros, and has no share in the World to Come. If that person or any person can prove me wrong, I am ready to be proven wrong. “I have one last thing to say, and this is very important. Although I have no idea if it was R’ Yonason who wrote the amulet, many people believe that he was the one who wrote it. That being the case I think he is obligated to vindicate himself, and to save himself from suspicion. He has my word that if he explains himself properly, I will personally be his first defender. I will battle relentlessly to counteract the false rumors, and I will shut the mouths of those who are attacking him. What is more I will go to the Great Synagogue and – in front of the whole community – publicly beg for his forgiveness, even though I never meant him harm. Truthfully, I wish things had been different. I wish R’ Yonason would have immediately

MAY 26, 2016

That night R’ Yaakov was unable to sleep, his mind at work weigh-

ing up his options. He still had the scheduled meeting with the executive committee the following day. Perhaps they would protect him, even though R’ Yonason’s supporters seemed to have the upper hand. Maybe he could work out a compromise solution with them. There had to be a way to avoid a full-scale communal war – especially if his life was in danger. But suddenly R’ Yaakov say bolt upright in his bed. What was he thinking? This wasn’t about him! What was his own paltry life worth compared with the thousands of spiritual lives snuffed out as a result of some disreputable compromise? There was a Sabbatian heretic loose in the community! This was no time to worry about himself! The discussion needed to refocus on the amulet, and the dangers its author posed, a danger made infinitely greater if the author was in fact the Chief Rabbi. Hadn’t his own father, Chacham Tzvi Ashkenazi, sacrificed everything in the battle with Nechemia Chayyun? Now it was his turn to do the same. He would show them all how he was his father’s true son, ready to risk everything to expose a Sabbatian infiltrator. At Shacharit the following morning, R’ Yaakov’s private synagogue was packed with people. Everyone had heard about the incident the previous evening, and people were there from across the community, to show their support and to find out what R’ Yaakov intended to do. There were also supporters of R’ Yonason there, including the messenger who had only recently brought the Chief Rabbi’s letter. The service concluded and R’ Yaakov walked up to the bimah. He raised his hand for everyone to be silent, and everyone stopped what they were doing to hear him speak. Usually at this point R’ Yaakov would share some Torah thoughts, but not today. “Last night,” he began, “I was informed that my life is in danger. But rather than run away, as I was advised to do, I have decided to let you know what has been going on behind closed doors for the past few weeks. It had not been my intention to do this, but I feel I am left with no choice. “Some time ago I was approached

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committee and the board. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he had nothing to fear. The meeting ended with every one of R’ Yonason’s devotees pledging their full and unwavering support, and an assurance that they would work tirelessly and ceaselessly to ensure his name was not tarnished by this witch-hunt. That evening, as Maariv services began at R’ Yaakov’s private synagogue, Shmuel Hecksher, a longstanding friend of R’ Yaakov, rushed in, breathless and pale, and ran up to the rabbi. “It’s all over town,” he gasped, “they are planning to come and kill you.” R’ Yaakov pulled him outside. “Shmuel, what are you talking about? What’s going on?” “It’s true, absolutely true. R’ Yonason’s supporters have let it be known that you are a ‘rodef,’ intent on destroying the Chief Rabbi’s reputation by spreading malicious rumors. It is a sin punishable by death, they claim, and they are therefore permitted to kill you.” Now it was R’ Yaakov’s turn to go pale. Hecksher continued to talk, the words tumbling out of him in a torrent. “These guys are very powerful. They have friends among the gentiles. You will be murdered, money will change hands, and no one will be arrested.” Tears were flowing down his cheeks. “Rabbi, I’m begging you, run away while you still can. This whole thing is way out of control.” A crowd had gathered at the door of the synagogue. R’ Yaakov spoke, his voice shaky but resolute. “I’m not running anywhere. I was born here and have lived here for the past eighteen years. My home is here. My family is here. My friends are here. My library is here. My life is here. I have done nothing wrong, and everyone knows I am a man of integrity.” He turned to Shmuel Hecksher, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Shmuel, for your concern. But don’t worry, I am at peace. G-d will protect me, and all of us, from all those who wish us any harm.”

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MAY 26, 2016

TJH !

You gotta be

Centerfold kidding A woman went

Riddle me

this?

An old king is dying and before he dies he wants

psychiatrist

to choose who will be the next king: his youngest son

and said she was in

or his oldest son. He decides to hold a strange horse

great distress over her husband. “He thinks he’s a horse. He sleeps standing

race for them where the owner of the slowest horse will become the new king. He tells them that they must race to the castle and that whoever owns the slowest horse becomes the new king. The youngest son jumps on a horse and starts

up and he neighs

racing for the castle. The king then knows that his

instead of speaking. He even insists on being fed

youngest son is the most intelligent and makes him

oats in a bag,” said the woman. “It’s terrible!”

the new king. Why?

“How long has this be going on?” asked the doctor.

See answer below

“Six, maybe eight months,” she replied. “You have let things go too far,” said the doctor. “Your husband will require a great deal of treatment and it will be very expensive.” “I don’t care about the expense,” said the wife, “I husband stop thinking he’s a horse.” “But it will cost many thousands of dollars. Can you afford this amount of money?” asked the doctor. “Why of course we can,” said the woman. “He’s already won three races this season at Belmont Race Track!”

Answer to Do you Know?: Phast Philly Answer to riddle: The youngest son rides on his brother’s horse, meaning that his own horse will be the slowest.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

will pay you anything, anything at all to make my

Do you know? Which one of the following is not the name of a horse that raced in either this year’s Kentucky Derby or Preakness: Exaggerator Gun Runner Suddenbreakingnews Mor Spirit Danzing Candy Outwork Cherry Wine Fellowship Dazzling Gem Uncle Lino Collected Brody’s Cause Oscan Nominated Phast Philly See answer to left

2. Who did the U.S. fight in the War of 1812? a. Mexico b. Spain c. France d. Britain 3. On June 6, 1944, American troops invaded the beaches of Normandy during World War II. What country is Normandy in? a. France b. Japan c. Italy d. Poland

5. Which U.S. soldier was the highest ranking officer captured by North Korean troops? a. Major General William F. Dean b. Lt. General Levon D. Smeth c. Lt. General Jean McArthur d. Sergeant John McCain 6. In which war did the U.S. suffer the most deaths? a. World War II b. Vietnam War

7. In World War II, who was the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces who directed the D-Day invasion and announced its start by saying, “OK, we’ll go”? a. Dwight D. Eisenhower b. George S. Patton c. Matthew B. Ridgway d. Douglas Macarthur 8. Which of the following was the U.S.’s longest war? a. Vietnam War b. World War II c. Revolutionary War d. War in Afghanistan Answer Key: 1. C- In 1964, as the Civil War raged and thousands of soldiers were dying, the Union government needed a cemetery to bury its dead. The Union occupied Arlington and the Arlington Estate of Confederate General Robert E. Lee was the most suitable property in the area. The property was high and free from floods, it had a view of the District of Columbia, and it was aesthetically pleasing. Denying Robert E. Lee use of his home after the war was also a valuable political consideration. 2. D- The War of 1812 is often considered to be the “forgotten war.” Some facts that were not forgotten: The White House and Capitol were burned to the ground during the invasion of Washington, D.C. First Lady Dolley Madison garnered fame for saving a portrait of George Washington before flames engulfed the president’s home. In 1814, Francis Scott Key wrote “The Star Spangled Banner” while watching

the British bombardment of Fort McHenry in Baltimore Harbor. 3. A 4. D 5. A- On July 20, 1950, Major General Dean became separated from his men during battle. He hid alone in the woods around the countryside during the day and traveled at night for over a month. On August 25, 1950 after a hand-to-hand struggle with fifteen North Koreans he was captured. General Dean had no contact with the outside world until he was interviewed on December 18, 1951 by an Australian, Wilfred Burchett, who was a correspondent for Le Soir, a French leftwing newspaper. This was the first time that anyone had any idea General Dean was alive since being reported missing in action. He was released in 1953 and showered with military and civilian honors. General Dean, however, insisted he was no hero but “ just a dogface soldier.” 6. C- 625,000 soldiers died in the Civil War, amounting to 1.988% of the total population of 32,000,000 American citizens. The second deadliest war was World War II, in which we lost 405,399 soldiers, amounting to .307% of the total population. 7. A- Plans were delayed for a couple days because of bad weather, until Gen. Eisenhower finally gave the order. 8. D Wisdom key: 6-8 correct: You are a war buff! 3-5 correct: You are wishy washy. You probably think the “Cold War” has something to do with a beer commercial. 0-2 correct: You dodged the intelligence draft.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

4. What was Woodrow Wilson’s campaign slogan when he ran for re-election in 1916? a. Peace, Progress, Prosperity b. Secure Our Homeland First c. Don’t Swap Horses Midstream d. He Kept Us out of War

c. Civil War d. World War I

MAY 26, 2016

1. What was the grounds of Arlington National Cemetery before it became a cemetery? a. It was Thomas Jefferson’s farm b. It was an army base c. It was Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee’s plantation d. It was a hunting grounds

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Memorial Day Trivia

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Notable Quotes

MAY 26, 2016

“Say What?!”

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I read that a lock of Thomas Jefferson’s hair was just sold at a Texas auction for almost $7,000. The seller plans on using the money he got for Jefferson’s hair to buy one ticket to Hamilton. – Jimmy Fallon

Look where I am! Where are you? — Deanna Pilling of New York, who went to Utah State University to surprise her freshman daughter with a selfie from her dorm bed

Where’s that?? I’m in my dorm. Please tell me you’re not in someone else’s dorm. - McKenna Pilling, replying via a mortified text

Apparently four out of Donald Trump’s five airplanes are more than 20 years old, which they say is rare for most billionaires. I guess Trump doesn’t know you’re supposed to change planes every few years, and keep your wife forever. – Jimmy Fallon

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Our data should not be used as an excuse to eat a lot more or to become overweight if you are not. -Borge Nordestgaard, a clinical professor at the University of Copenhagen, on a Danish study that shows obesity does not necessarily increase a person’s risk of dying younger

OMG - Deanna’s response

In a recent interview, “Shark Tank” host Mark Cuban predicted that if Donald Trump is elected, it would be bad news for Wall Street. And in related news, Donald Trump just got endorsed by Bernie Sanders. – Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump announced today that if he wins the presidency, Chris Christie will lead his transition team and help put together the Trump administration. Because if there’s anything Christie knows how to do, it’s fill a cabinet. - Seth Myers

I’ve never been gainfully employed in my life. I don’t know what…I’m going to do. I’ve never cashed a paycheck in my entire life – you think I’m joking, I’m not. -Joe Biden remarking about his pending life after leaving office, at the National Urban League’s Legislative Policy Conference

I’m not eating Oreos anymore, you know that. But neither is Chris. You’re not eating Oreos anymore. No more Oreos. For either of us, Chris! Don’t feel bad! For either of us! - Trump at a fundraiser with Gov. Chris Christie, to return Christie’s campaign debt, when talking about Oreos moving their plant to Mexico

MORE QUOTES

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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I read that a new super-PAC is actually trying to convince Amish people to vote for Donald Trump. And those people were like, “We’re not Amish. We just got rid of our TVs so we could stop hearing about Donald Trump.” - Jimmy Fallon

Who are you? -Response of a Sydney train passenger when she was greeted on the train by Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull

- Prime Minister Turnbull’s response to the awkward moment

There’s enough stories out there that I don’t think everybody is just sitting in their kitchen making them up. - Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton, who has vowed to open government files on UFOs, exciting a small but enthusiastic subset of voters

Happy Birthday to legendary boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, who turned 60 years old today! You can tell he’s getting older by his new name, Splenda Ray Leonard.

The New York Times just did a big profile on Donald Trump and revealed that he has life-sized portraits of Ronald Reagan and John Wayne at his campaign headquarters. And if you don’t see them right away, it’s because they’re right behind a 25-foot tall portrait of Donald Trump.

MAY 26, 2016

I’m just doing a bit of conducting on the train.

- Jimmy Fallon

When you go to Disney, do they measure the number of hours you wait in line? Or what’s important? What’s important is, what’s your satisfaction with the experience? - Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert McDonald, responding to a reporter’s question about the notorious waiting time for veterans seeking medical treatment

– Jimmy Fallon

– James Corden

Over 400 passengers missed their flights at Chicago O’Hare on Sunday because of the TSA security lines which were up to three hours long. It’s bad news for travelers, but good news for dads who insisted on getting to the airport five hours early. – Jimmy Fallon

– Jimmy Kimmel

CBS announced that season 33 of “Survivor” will be called “Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X.” It’ll start in September and end 20 minutes later when both teams realize there’s no Wi-Fi. -Jimmy Fallon

So what? Democracy is messy. Every day my life is messy. - Bernie Sanders, talking about the possibility of a contested Democrat convention

MORE QUOTES

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Wendy’s has implemented its own invention. The company is set to debut computerized self-service kiosks in 6,000 of its restaurants this year…Now even the robots will be talking about the good old days. They’ll be like, “We used to take humans to the moon. Now we work at Wendy’s.”

Megyn Kelly interviewed Donald Trump last night. The important thing is that wounds have been healed, which is good. It was difficult to watch Donald and her fight. It’s hard to watch a fight between two people with such similar hairstyles.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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MAY 26, 2016

46 The adhesive layer may be a very sticky material and operate in a manner similar to flypaper, or double-sided duct tape... The adhesion of the pedestrian to the vehicle may prevent the pedestrian from bouncing off. - From a new Google patent application for a material to be placed on the hood of their automated cars to prevent people from being dragged under the wheels if hit

Google has been testing self-driving cars and yesterday they filed a patent for a new safety feature called pedestrian glue. How it works is if the driverless car hits someone, it releases a glue-like coating so that the person will stick to the hood instead of bouncing off...So if one of these cars hits you, you will be spread-eagled, stuck to the hood as the car slowly rolls to a halt, because that was the problem with getting hit by a car before: It just wasn’t embarrassing enough. - James Corden

Trump economics is a recipe for lower wages, fewer jobs, more debt. He could bankrupt America like he’s bankrupted his companies. I mean, ask yourself, how can anybody lose money running a casino? Really. - Hillary Clinton

For the third year in a row, Washington, D.C., was named the fittest city in American, mainly because Michelle Obama goes around slapping pizza out of everyone’s hands. - Jimmy Fallon

When the president of the free world stands and says, “Islam is a religion of peace,” he creates a climate to create more terrorism. - Mosab Haasan Yousef, the son of the West Bank Hamas leader (who renounced terrorism and helped thwart several terrorist attacks), speaking at The Jerusalem Post’s annual conference in New York

Drive Crazy Y’all. - The message posted on a Texas electronic road sign that Geoffrey Eltgroth, 26, hacked into, resulting in his arrest The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

MORE QUOTES

For liberals, the question now is how to deal with the losers in the culture wars. That’s mostly a question of tactics. My own judgment is that taking a hard line (“You lost, live with it”) is better than trying to accommodate the losers. Trying to be nice to the losers didn’t work well after the Civil War, nor after Brown... Taking a hard line seemed to work reasonably well in Germany and Japan after 1945 - Harvard Law professor Mark Tushnet, positing that conservatives should be dealt with as the Nazis were, in a thesis claiming that liberals have won the culture battle

Even the Devil will speak the truth for his own purposes. Despite her promises to be tough on Wall Street, a new report has found that groups supporting Hillary Clinton have received $25 million from the financial industry using so-called shadow banks. Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders has received a new waffle iron for opening a savings account. - Seth Myers

- Bernie Sanders’ campaign manager on MSNBC when it was pointed out to him that Trump has adopted some of Bernie’s attack lines on Hillary

According to a new report, Spain’s federal debt is now greater than their gross domestic product. Spanish citizens are so upset, they could barely sleep all afternoon. - Seth Myers

MAY 26, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

By Aliza Beer MS, RD

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Finding Healthy Alternatives to White Flour

MAY 26, 2016

keeps you feeling fuller. 2. Effect on Blood Sugar: Any carbohydrate containing food will have some effect on blood sugar. After you eat a meal, the body breaks down the carbohydrates from the food into glucose, a simple sugar. The glucose then enters the bloodstream so it can circulate throughout the body and provide fuel to the cells. The faster your blood sugar spikes, the faster it inevitably crashes, leaving you hungry and irritable shortly after eating. Glucose from bread made out of whole wheat flour gets broken down and absorbed more slowly than from white flour. Regulating your blood sugar will help you maintain a healthy weight and prevent diabetes. 3. Vitamin Content: Whole wheat flour contains several vitamins, including folate, riboflavin, and vitamins B1, B3, and B5. The processing involved in making white flour destroys the grains’ vitamin content. To combat this, some food manufacturers enrich their white flour with vitamins. Check the nutrition label on the bag

of flour to determine if it has the added vitamins. There are a number of healthier alternatives to white flour that are gluten free as well. • Brown Rice Flour: Has a slightly nutty flavor, and works better when combined with some other flours like teff, buckwheat, or sorghum. Its good to use this to thicken soups. Many gluten free pastas are made from brown rice flour. • Coconut Flour: One of my favorites! This type of flour is high in fiber, low in carb, and a good source of protein. Recipes will need more liquid when using coconut flour, but will require less sugar or sweetener, because coconut has a natural sweetness to it. • Amaranth Flour: This flour is protein rich and has high quantities of amino acids lysine and methionine. It also has twice the amount of calcium as cow’s milk. • Almond Flour: It contains more than 3x the amount of fat than in coconut flour. It is also high in Omega-6 fats, which can be inflammatory in large amounts. When baking with almond flour keep in mind

that many people are allergic to nuts. • Quinoa Flour: It is one of the most nutritious flours, but should not be used alone in recipes. It is a good source of protein, fiber, iron, copper, thiamin, and vitamin B6. Quinoa is most famous for being one of the only plant foods that supplies complete proteins, offering all essential amino acids in a healthy balance. Fortunately, there is a plethora of healthy alternative options to white flour. It may take time, however, and some experimentation to find the right flour, or combination of flours for your recipes and lifestyle. One thing is perfectly clear, and that is, there is no longer room in our pantries and shelves for white flour. It should not be offered in our schools or camps, and must be replaced with only whole wheat or whole grain options.

Aliza Beer is a registered dietician with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

istorically, white flour has been a big part of our lives, from bagels to pretzels to sandwiches and, of course, cookies. In recent years we have become better educated as to the downside of white flour, in addition to the explosion of people diagnosed with celiac disease or gluten sensitivities. Why is white flour so bad? Refined white flour has very few natural vitamins and minerals. The good-for-you qualities of the whole grain have been stripped away, but even worse, bad-for-you things have been added, such as preservatives and high fructose corn syrup. Even enriched white flour doesn’t contain all the healthy components of wholegrain flours and is metabolized quickly by the body, rather than slowly and effectively. There are three big differences between white flour and whole wheat flour: 1. Fiber Content: One of the big differences between whole wheat and white flour is the food’s fiber content. Dietary fiber has a number of health benefits; it prevents constipation, lowers blood cholesterol, and

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MAY 26, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Life C ach

MAY 26, 2016

Mission, What Mission?

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By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

was on a mission to Washington, D.C., last Wednesday called NORPAC. And that’s a good name for it because you cannot sleep if you want to get to the bus on time (5am), “NOR PACK” anything edible to bring for the day. Oh, you can bring whatever you want on the bus, but the bus disappears for the day once you reach D.C.! And no way can you bring any lethal snacks into congressional offices. If they detect an apple or banana on you, you’re out. Can you believe it? All the crazy things going on in this country but they are quite strict in making sure not a crumb comes into the congressional buildings. And you know you’ve got to be a pretty dedicated, politically concerned Jew to be aware you are not allowed to have a little something in your pocket or bag and still show up to lobby. And what exactly is the reason for this mission of over a thousand Jews? Well, Washington, of course, needs a few floating minyanim, scattered shaitels and

kippas among the group, and passionate high school daveners to descend upon it just to help them recognize what’s good for Israel is good for America. And we certainly need people in the

gress get up in the convention hall when we arrive to explain the importance of what we are here to accomplish, right back to all of us so that we can turn around and explain it right back to

to hear their concerns and hopefully leave them with an inkling more doubt about their own point of view. You may wonder what this day looks like. It is a day of racing around from build-

In other words, over a thousand Jews working to be on time!

group very prepared to pray that they hear us. The talking points are reviewed and taught numerous times and in many locations before the day of the trek to the Capitol. But, on the final day that we are making our 5-hour bus trip to make our views heard, an attempt is made to really hammer home the details of our concerns. Bang! A comprehensive booklet is given out. Bang! A video is presented. Bang! Each group has a meeting to review the talking points. And bang! A few loyal members of Con-

most of the rest of Congress. I know that sounds confusing. But there are some members of Congress who see eye-to-eye with us. Therefore, since they are aware of the proposals and support it, we need to meet with them and thank them for that very support. If they are unfamiliar with the proposals, we need to make sure to educate them about it and show them why it’s integral. And, if they are leaning to the other side of the aisle on a proposal, we need to try and dispel myths that have them there, then proceed

ing to building, office to office with conviction in hand hoping that we haven’t kept our Congressperson or senator waiting. In other words, over a thousand Jews working to be on time! It is also empowering to see that our government has an aspect of it where we can really speak to our representatives. It is a day to feel we are both Americans and Jews – and to be proud of both! When we’ve given our talks, met with our representatives and tried our best, it is a day to feel proud that we didn’t just sit home

and complain. We did something! Finally, at the end of the day, we drag our worn out bodies back to the bus where we trade stories for about 10 to 50 seconds, and then antisocially go into our own space to catch up on the day’s work or last night’s missing sleep. A day later the whole thing seems like it was possibly just a dream. Yet, it is a mission that matters! For example, in the past it helped get Iron Dome funding. It gets young people seeing that our Congress is real and they can be important in the scheme of things. But best of all, it teaches Jews they can go a day without food, even if it’s not a fast day! (And to be perfectly honest, the coordinators of NORPAC slip us a meal every chance they get.)

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com

124

Your

Money

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

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A Tale of Two CEOs

MAY 26, 2016

choose to work all year for peanuts? If you guessed “taxes,” you’re absolutely right! Let’s take a closer look at Zaslav’s $9 million in salary and bonus. Sure, stacking that kind of paper sounds great. (Okay, it probably is.) But “$9

engine Google. His salary last year? A dollar. One measly buck. A year’s worth of work for less than the cost of your morning coffee. But (and this is a pretty big but) he saw the value of his stock shoot up about $8 billion — including a mind-blowing $4

Larry Page, who heads up search engine Google. His salary last year? A dollar. One measly buck.

million” is really more like an opening offer. First the IRS grabs 39.6% in federal income tax. There’s FICA tax of 7.65% on the first $118,500, plus 2.9% on anything above that, plus 0.8% more on anything above $250,000. Then the Empire State piles on another 8.82% more. (OK, here’s where we insert the obligatory joke about how Zaslav would rather face one of those sharks his network loves to film.) Now let’s look at another CEO: Larry Page, who heads up search

billion in just one afternoon. (Friday, July 17, 2015 was a spectacularly good day to be Larry Page.) And how much tax did Page pay on those billions? Nothing. In fact, he won’t be taxed at all until he chooses to sell. Even then, he’ll qualify for special lower rates, capped at just 23.8%. But wait, there’s more! If Page wins promotion to that great corner office in the sky without having sold his stock, he’ll enjoy a “stepped up basis” and avoid tax on the gains

entirely. Well, he won’t enjoy it, but Mrs. Page and the surviving Pagelets probably will. Page’s strategy may not make the IRS happy. But Google shareholders love it. Seeing CEOs tie their fortunes to long-term stock prices reassures investors that executives have their best interests in mind. And studies show that CEOs with low salaries are less likely to engage in the sort of shenanigans that lead to surprise earnings restatements, expensive lawsuits, and embarrassing stretches behind bars. (Just because you call it a “country club” prison doesn’t actually make it a “country club.”) Here’s the bottom line, and it applies whether you make a buck a year or a million. When it comes to paying less tax, it’s just as important how you make your money as how much you make. Make sure you have a plan to help structure your income so you can keep as much as possible!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 yea rs in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

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very year, business reporters look forward to listing the country’s highest-paid CEOs. Corporate chiefs have always done well for themselves — in 1980, the average S&P 500 head earned 42 times more than the average worker. But lately those compensation numbers have swollen fat enough to boggle Stephen Hawking’s mind — in 2000, the CEO-to-worker ratio reached a high of 500:1. Last year’s CEO pay champ was Discovery Communications skipper David Zaslav. His total haul started with $3.0 million in salary and $6.1 million in bonus, before piling on $94.6 million in stock and $50.5 million in options. He also scored $1.9 million in “other” comp, like $296,930 for personal use of the company jet and a $16,800 car allowance (because it’s hard to afford reliable transportation on a $3 million salary). Not bad for a guy whose company brought us Shark Week and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! You would think every CEO wants to make the top of that list. But some of the smartest ones are hiding out at the other end, happy to count themselves among the lowest salaried. Why on earth would they

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MAY 26, 2016

Torah Thought

Parshat Behar By Rabbi Berel Wein

his week’s Torah reading seems to emphasize that the granting of the Torah to Moshe, and through him to Israel generally, took place at the Mountain of Sinai. Since the Torah does not deal with incidental geographic details, this emphasis regarding the mountain bears study and analysis. Mountain climbing is a sport for the hardy of spirit and the physically fit. However, most of us are perfectly content with our lives without

attempting to scale cliffs. Yet, in a spiritual sense, the Torah seems to indicate that living a moral and observant Jewish lifestyle requires spiritual mountain climbing. The Talmud teaches us that Mount Sinai was a rather modest mountain in height, as mountains go. It was chosen, so to speak, because it represented humility amongst its greater companions, such as the Alps and the Himalayas. Yet, it required effort, energy and

purpose to be able to ascend it. In that respect it represents the Torah itself, which was given to Moshe on its summit. Life is never smooth or easy – a flat plain, simple to traverse. Rather, it is always an uphill climb that many times leaves us short of breath and doubtful of hope. We all know this to be true of our physical lives and it is doubly so regarding the spiritual component of our existence. There is a phrase in Yiddish that says: “It is hard and difficult to be a Jew.” Well, like most Yiddish aphorisms, this one is certainly accurate and telling. The only problem is that, over the long run of history, it is obvious that it is much more difficult and harmful for us not to live proper Jewish lives. The prophets always speak of Jewish redemption as being a formidable mountain that somehow will be flattened and made into a smooth and level plain. What appears to be formidable and forbidding, almost impossible to overcome, a gigantic mountain which blocks our view of the horizon, will somehow eventually be transformed and made accessible and comfortable. I think that that is a proper metaphor for Jewish life generally and for Torah life and values particularly. It is a mountain to climb but once ascended it leads to smooth going and a level journey through life. The Talmud records for us that the temptations of life appear to the righteous as mountains, and that they stare in amazement at their

ability to somehow overcome each obstacle. The wicked, evil temptation appears to be as thin as a single hair that can be easily dismissed. However, once engaged with that hair, one runs the danger of being inextricably shackled by it.

Yet, in a spiritual sense, the Torah seems to indicate that living a moral and observant Jewish lifestyle requires spiritual mountain climbing.

So the Torah bids us all to be mountain climbers. We are to steel ourselves against the difficulties that living a Jewish life presents and realize that according to the effort will be the reward. There is no easy way or smooth path to a concentrated Jewish life. The example of Moshe climbing Mount Sinai remains the metaphor for all of us and for all Jewish life till eternity. Shabbat shalom.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

MAY 26, 2016

Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

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What Would You Do If…

Yossie and I got engaged about a month ago. We are supposed to get married in a few months. We come from backgrounds where we are discouraged from speaking to one another more than once a week (if that’s even necessary) and also from even texting one another. Suddenly, this person who I was starting to feel very close to and connected with is beginning to feel like a stranger to me. A week is a long time to go by without me seeing or speaking to him. Maybe because we didn’t date all that long, his very being was not imprinted in my psyche, if that makes any sense. And so I’m finding him very forgettable right now.

Dear Navidaters,

As time goes on, I’m not even sure why I’m marrying Yossie. I can’t seem to remember what was so special about him or what made me think he was my “bashert.” When we infrequently speak now or see each other, he seems like a stranger to me. I suddenly feel no affection for him and am scared out of my mind that I’ll be miserable once we get married.

I just want it all to end. I want to be a carefree 19-year-old again, uncommitted, with a promising, exciting future ahead of me. I’m feeling stuck and hopeless. I don’t know who Yossie is anymore. What can I do? The feedback from our readers has been remarkable. In order to facilitate further discussion, you can now continue the conversation anonymously on our website. Every Sunday, we will upload the weekend’s most recent edition of What Would You Do If to the dating forum at thenavidaters.com. Join The Navidaters and your fellow TJH readers in a comprehensive dialogue with regard to dating, relationships and marriage. The forum will be moderated daily for everyone’s comfort and safety. See you there! Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise offer resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, but to offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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I’m afraid to discuss this with my parents. They are so overjoyed to see me engaged and so pleased with the shidduch, that I don’t want to disappoint them. My friends are all giddy with joy for me that I can’t bring myself to talk about my feelings with any of them. I feel like a fraud, walking around and pretending that I’m happy. I’m so not happy! I’m miserable, scared and can’t believe I’m in this situation.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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MAY 26, 2016

The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. ou have a voice, young lady. Use it. Be open. Talk to your chosson Yossie, and tell him that you are feeling that you need to spend more time together. And use it to have serious conversations as well as fun times. It should not be focused on choosing a china pattern. Communicate, don’t text. All rules have exceptions. If you need it, do something about it. Don’t get caught up in spiraling doubt. You may want to reach out to his spiritual mentor to tell him what you need and to ask him to encourage Yossie to join you in the Shalom Task Force Workshop, a series for couples focused on communication. You may need this time to also explore whether he is a good fit for you with premarital counselling for the two of you. Get the rabbi/rosh yeshiva/mashpia on board with this as well. Whatever you and Yossie decide to do about the situation, you don’t have to broadcast it to all and your sundry friends. Family and community norms are just that; they are not one-size-fits-all. Your parents need to be apprised of your needs. Include them. Go for help and see how it goes. Perhaps you may have commit-

ted too soon. Explore your relationship and the fit fully with help and see what happens. It’s about your life, not about your parents’ pleasure and your excitement. It’s growing up time. Doing the work will get you to a happy and secure place with Yossie – or with someone else.

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A.

elcome to Marriage 101, yeshiva-style. His mother checks out her references. Her mother looks into him. The parents agree it’s a good shidduch. They go out a prescribed number of times in controlled settings – lounges, botanical gardens, restaurants. The next thing you know, it’s a mazal tov! Except for one problem. The kallah is miserable and unhappy. Is your “misery and unhappiness” due to stranger anxiety – who is Yossie and why are we getting married? In that case, you need more dating and face time with Yossie; undoubtedly that can be arranged (after clearance with the mashgiach or whoever sets these standards). Is your “misery and unhappiness” due to

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

s a therapist and relationship coach I have worked with young women in your shoes. Anxiety and experiencing worrisome thoughts about their betrothed; upset by the lack of contact and communication, they begin to wonder if they should call off the relationship.

Without a glaringly obvious “red flag” (something off or unhealthy about the guy or the relationship), the first thing we do in therapy is contextualize and normalize these

kallah-cold feet syndrome, where being single and free is more enticing than the dreamiest trousseau? In that case, you have many resources to explore the basis and validity of your anxiety (a trusted rav, kallah teacher or pre-marital counselor). In any case, Mother’s #1 rule: Approach your parents. Never be afraid of discussing your fears and feelings with them. Sure, they want to see you engaged. But, trust me, more than anything, they want to see you happy.

I feel like a fraud, walking around and pretending that I’m happy.

begin to see Yossie more often, then it’s time to evaluate your feelings and the entire situation.

The Single The Dating Mentor

Irit Moshe

efore you jump to any conclusions, you both have to speak to the rav who made this “takana” and explain that you need to see Yossie more than once a week. This is definitely not unusual. Many of my kallahs have had similar experiences to yours. No doubt the rav will understand that you two need to go out more frequently so that you have the opportunity to refresh your relationship and ultimately assess the situation. For now, you may be feeling this way because the lack of contact can definitely feel not normal. However, if you continue to feel this way even after you

think you do know what to do but you are afraid to go out of your community norm, which you feel will disappoint your parents, but at whose expense? Yours. His. And, yours, collective. Speak up, my dear! If you want to be in this relationship, then speak to him about what you need and want from him. This is your relationship and your life, my dear, and if you don’t say something then it is only you to blame for your fear by hiding your thoughts and feeling, and your failure to fulfill your needs and wants. Consider this your first act of adulthood, which should be the case before marriage anyways. You will need to speak up and talk about your needs, wants and thoughts while married so that your future husband and life can be one you’ll enjoy and be satisfied. You might as well start now.

feelings. While some people are comforted by the rules of shidduchim and engagement, other people find these rules cumbersome and experience anxiety, depression or an urge to “run for the hills” as a result of seeing their soon-to-be husband once a week and having no contact otherwise. Some, like yourself, may begin to wonder if dating and getting engaged was all a big mistake. Maybe they would rather enjoy their inde-

pendence and be a carefree 19-yearold for a bit longer and put marriage on the backburner. So, for what it’s worth, all the thoughts, the doubts, the anxiety, the misery, the wanting more time with Yossie, and then feeling as though he is a stranger ... I’ve seen it a dozen or so times and I can tell you that you are perfectly normal, feeling perfectly normal and even somewhat predictable feelings. At this point, you don’t know what you want or what you need and it’s all confusing and weighing on you heav-

Rochel Chafetz Educator/Mentor

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

53 Is your “misery and unhappiness” due to kallah-cold feet syndrome, where being single and free is more enticing than the dreamiest trousseau? you would be breaking – right now I want you to get to know what it is that you want so that you can communicate that with your parents and Yossie. In order to be in a relationship with another person, we have to be comfortable in the relationship we have with ourselves. How do you feel about giving Yossie the opportunity to really know you? After all, the guy has been left in the dark, just going along with the program. On the same note,

you don’t really know how he is feeling now. It’s possible that he is content, but it is also possible that he has some of the same feelings you have. So … get talking. Once the rules of the relationship are changed to suit your needs, you can reevaluate. Am I happy? Is Yossie the one for me? Am I ready to get married? What do I want? If any of this feels like too much to do alone, speak to a therapist to help get the ball rolling. Good luck! Sincerely, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed, clinical psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up an appointment, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com.

MAY 26, 2016

are not a lamb walking to the slaughter, rather you are a strong young woman who is going to take charge of her future. You aren’t going to make this decision from a place of fear and uncertainty. You are going to start using your voice; as the panel unanimously suggested and wisely so, I think it is time to tap into your internal strength and speak to Yossie and your parents. Tell everyone what you need. When our needs get bottled up they have a way of infiltrating our thoughts, and we have a tendency to obsess over them or feel ruled by them. I am hoping that after you share what you have been feeling, some of your feelings may ease up a bit and you will then be better positioned to make this decision. Start thinking about what you want. Start thinking about how you want this time in your life to look. Where is your comfort level? Would you like to see Yossie three times a week, every day of the week? Do you want to talk to him morning, noon and night? I don’t care what rules

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ily. You are wondering if you should throw in the towel and walk away altogether. On the other hand, you remember a time when you felt affection toward Yossie and a connection. You want more of that … or maybe you wanted more of that. How much of this is about your feelings for Yossie and how much is a reflection of a dating and engagement process that doesn’t seem to take into account your innate need for contact? It’s all so unclear now. This is probably the biggest decision of your life to date, or one of them anyway. We human beings generally do not make the wisest decisions when we are mired in anxiety. If I can offer a bit of advice, it would be to somehow slow down your own internal tumult so you can make the best decision for yourself. Perhaps the intensity of your feelings is a reflection of how fast all of this is happening and that until this point, you haven’t had a voice or you haven’t been able to use your voice. I want you to start feeling empowered here. You

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MAY 26, 2016

Between the Lines

You Didn’t Plant That By Eytan Kobre

For I will not trust in my bow, my sword will not save me…We have gloried in G-d all the day, and we will forever give thanks to Your name. (Psalms 44:6-8).

W B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

MAY 26, 2016 | The Jewish Home

hen his daughter Emily turned four, Warren Buffett threw her a birthday party. Beemer the Clown was the main attraction. Beemer held a “Box of Wonders” and asked Emily to come forward and wave a magic wand over it. When she did, he tossed green handkerchiefs into the box. When Emily again waved the magic wand, Beemer pulled blue handkerchiefs from the box. When Emily waved the wand a third time, out came handkerchiefs knotted together. Emily was delighted. So pleased was she with her mastery of the magic wand that she blurted out, “Gee, I’m really good at this!” We like to take credit for our successes. And so we

treat G-d like Beemer the Clown. We wave a magic wand and exult in our triumphs, convinced that our successes are by the might of our hands. As long as G-d just doesn’t get in the way, we’ll be fine. Recall Barack Obama’s “If you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own…If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that.” Now, Obama meant that our financial successes belong to government (and thus, ostensibly, to Obama himself). However unwittingly, Obama was onto something. Our material successes are not our own. We didn’t build that. G-d did. And that’s what shemita reinforces (Vayikra 25:2 and Kli Yakar ad loc.). In a typical agrarian society, fields are worked for two consecutive years and then left fallow for the third to preserve and enhance the soil’s vitality. Shemita demonstrates that this system is unnecessary. Fields can be worked for six straight years, not only maintaining vitality but tripling output in the sixth year to provide for years six, seven, and eight in the cycle. Because G-d –

not our effort – is the source of material success. Or, in Obama parlance, we didn’t plant that. G-d did. Our imperative to acknowledge G-d as the source of all material success traces all the way back to Yitzchak’s blessings to Yaakov and Esav. While the blessings bestowed upon Yaakov made it clear that “G-d should give you” material success (Bereishis 27:28), those given to Esav contained no reference to G-d. It’s all too easy to mistake effort for outcome. Like the man who desperately beseeches G-d to open a parking spot for him on a crowded street. When a spot opens suddenly before his eyes, he looks heavenward. “Never mind, G-d. I got one.” We know that the key to sustenance is held by G-d (Ta’anis 2b; Bereishis Rabba 20:22). We know that our year’s livelihood is set by G-d on Rosh HaHashana (Beitza 15a). And we know that G-d’s gift of livelihood to one person does not impinge one iota on His gift of livelihood to another (Yoma 38b). We know these things. But do we feel them?

That requires a real relationship with G-d. Like that of Yankel the Tailor. It was the first night of Selichos and the shul was packed. The Belzer Rebbe scoured the room. “Where is Yankel the Tailor? We’re not starting without him.” “Rebbe,” his followers pleaded, “there are hundreds of people waiting to start. We can’t wait for a simple tailor.” But the Rebbe was adamant. So his followers went to Yankel’s house, where they found him sprawled out on the floor in a drunken stupor. “Yankel, the Rebbe is waiting for you. Come to shul.” “I’m drunk! I can’t go like this.” After the Rebbe’s followers prevailed upon him, Yankel got dressed and went to shul, where the Rebbe demanded to know why he was drunk on the auspicious first night of Selichos. “I’m in the textile business,” started Yankel. “But I have difficulties making ends meet. One day, a high ranking government officer commissioned a large quantity of work from me, only to cancel half his order a short while later.

“I said to G-d, ‘You took away half my livelihood; I’m only doing half the commandments.’ I put on only one of the tefillin. I davened only half the words. I washed only one hand. “Then the officer cut his order in half again. So I said to G-d, ‘Now I’m going to do even less.’ And so I did. “Eventually, I realized where this was headed. So I said, ‘G-d, let’s make amends. I’ll start obeying all the commandments again, and you give me my full livelihood.’ “And then I did as all friends do when they make amends: I sat down and poured two shots. ‘To a long and loving relationship! L’chaim!’ But G-d didn’t drink His, so I drank it for Him. And one l’chaim certainly is not enough for the King of Kings! So I poured one after another until the bottle was empty.” The Rebbe hugged Yankel. “You are standing next me to tonight because you have a relationship with G-d. You talk to Him. You love Him. He is real to you.” Yankel may have had a simpleton’s relationship with G-d, but it was real. He didn’t just know; he felt.

for you, an entire human being with children, G-d will provide ample sustenance” (Tanchuma, Tazria 6). Indeed, “the same G-d that created day created sustenance” (Mechilta, Beshalach 15).

en aback. “G-d gives life to everyone. Why should I be different?” “Okay. And who said you will get married?” R’ Elya pressed. The surprised young man again answered that

“I put on only one of the tefillin. I davened only half the words. I washed only one hand.”

A student of R’ Elya Lopian planned to leave yeshiva to prepare to earn a living and raise a family. “Who said you will continue to live?” asked R’ Elya. The young man was tak-

G-d would surely help him find his match. “Okay. And who said you will have children?” probed R’ Elya. Again the young man expressed his trust that G-d

Make the necessary efforts. Just don’t treat G-d like Beemer the Clown. * * * J.S. Bach was arguably the most brilliant musical composer ever. His trademark signature at the end of musical compositions? S.D.G. – or, Soli Deo Gloria – “to G-d alone be the glory.” So, by all means, compose your music, plant your fields, build your business. But give G-d the credit. Soli Deo Gloria.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, mediator, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

MAY 26, 2016

ty making ends meet proposed to venture overseas to earn a living, when his wife stopped him by pointing out the obvious: “If G-d provides sustenance for every living hair to grow, surely

would bless him with children. “So,” R’ Elya concluded, “you trust G-d to give you life, a wife, and children, but you don’t trust Him to give you the sustenance necessary to support them?” To be sure, one may – must – make efforts to achieve material success (Berachos 8a; Rambam, Talmud Torah 3:9). But, effort notwithstanding, our success comes from G-d. We are not to believe that “my strength and the might of my hand made me all this wealth” (Devarim 8:17; Rus Rabba 1:4). Indeed, “one should teach his son a clean and easy trade, and he should pray to the One to whom wealth and property belongs” (Kiddushin 82a).

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Unlike Yankel, many of us – despite what we know intellectually – don’t recognize G-d as the source of success because we suffer from a bit of cognitive dissonance. A man who had difficul-

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

In The K

tchen

Beer Battered Fish By Naomi Nachman

With Shavuot getting closer, I have been testing out new fish and dairy recipes for the holiday. I also have been going through my older recipes and giving them a new spin. Every year for Shavuot I used to make fried flounder. My Aussie mother suggested that I might try making a fried fish with a beer batter – a real Australian twist indeed. (We Aussies love to put beer in everything!) The result was a crispy, fluffy fish dish that has a bit of Australian flavor that my mates really enjoyed. I served French fries as a side dish with the fish and dipping sauce. Ingredients 1½ cups of flour 1 tsp salt ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper 4 large eggs 1 (12-oz) bottle of beer, room temperature Canola oil 1-½ lbs of flounder

Preparation

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Sift 1 cup of flour into a bowl. Add salt and pepper. Whisk in the eggs. Slowly add the beer, whisking after each addition. Allow the batter to sit at room temperature for 30 minutes. Heat 3 inches of oil in a large pot, skillet or deep fryer to 360-375° Fahrenheit Dredge the fish in the remaining flour shaking off excess. Then coat the fish in the batter. Add the fish to the oil and fry until golden brown about 3-4 minutes

Tartar Sauce Ingredients 4 TBS mayonnaise 2 TBS sweet relish 2 TBS Dijon mustard 2 tsp white wine or apple cider vinegar

Preparation Mix ingredients in a bowl and set aside to serve with the fish. Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet. com or at (516) 295-9669.

down on Lag B’Omer. The first mention to cease-and-desist to mourn on this day appears in the 12th century in Spain and southern France.

references to any Sefira mourning laws. Rabbi Yosef Karo of Shulchan Aruch fame says this day is dedicated to the end of the deadly epidem-

When was the last time you were invited to a picnic to commemorate Moshe’s yahrtzeit with bonfires, roasted potatoes, and sing-alongs?

Lag B’Omer is a day of historic obscurity. Although there is a general rabbinic consensus on how to commemorate the 33rd day there is none on why we commemorate it. Consider: The prolific Rambam makes no

ic plague. Rabbi Moses Isserles, the eminent Polish Ashkenaz Talmudist, explains the day as a symbolic suspension, a conclusion he based on mathematics. Start with 49 days. Subtract 7 for Pesach. Then subtract

all the in-between days (Shabbos and Rosh Chodesh) on which mourning is forbidden. One is left with only thirty-three days when mourning can be observed. The more traditional reason for celebrating Lag B’Omer is the commemoration of the death of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai (Rashbi), compiler of Midrashim (Sifrei) on Devorim and Bamidbar, a patriot, and one of the most charismatic figures of the Mishna. As the much-revered father of Jewish mysticism, Lag B’Omer is synonymous with Rashbi’s legacy of mysticism that originated in a cave where father and son, R’ Elazar, studied Torah in hiding, day and night for twelve years, while fleeing the mighty Roman Empire following the failed Bar Kochba revolt, sustained by a carob tree next to a spring in the northern Israeli town of Peki’in

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he line of spiritual energy between Pesach and Shavuos is interrupted by a single day, a “good” day, say our Jewish mystics because the thirty-third word in the Torah is tov, which means “good.” The thirty-third day in the counting of the Omer is a one-day semi-holiday when the laws of bereavement associated with the seven weeks of Sefiras ha’Omer (the ban on marriages, listening to music, cutting one’s hair, etc.) are all suspended. Was it always so? No. The Countdown, or more accurately the “Count up,” of forty-nine days entered Jewish history as a time of anticipation and joy over the success of wheat harvests. It later became connected to a devastating first-century plague that obliterated the yeshiva world of Rabbi Akiva “from Acco to Antipatros” that died

MAY 26, 2016

Thirty-Three – And Still Counting!

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BOBKER ON LAG B’OMER

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MAY 26, 2016

58 that has been nurtured by the Zinati family of the Galilee for the past two thousand years. The question seems obvious: Why is Rav Shimon’s death different from all other deaths of righteous men? Have you noticed? No one lights bonfires for Avraham’s yahrtzeit. When was the last time you were invited to a picnic to commemorate Moshe’s yahrtzeit with roasted potatoes and sing-alongs? Or time your 3-year-old son’s first haircut to Aaron’s yahrtzeit? The memory of a death is usually one of sadness. Rabbi Aryeh Leibish Blachover, known as the Shem Aryeh, was generally opposed to celebrating a yahrtzeit but he made an exception for Rashbi on the basis that the sage escaped the death sentence imposed by the Romans and lived a long life, dying from natural causes; in other words, a natural demise at the hands of G-d and not at the hands of a Roman-swinging decapitating swordsman. This death is different from all other deaths because if not for Rashbi’s deathbed revelation of “the ultimate secrets of life,” profound Kabbalistic teachings would have been lost forever. His anniversary is thus marked with celebration as thousands of admiring Jews flock to his grave at Mount Meron, near Safed, in fidelity to the rabbinic adage, “When a Sage dies, all are his kin.” According to Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, the first chief Ashkenaz rabbi of Palestine, who was a major mystic in his own right, “Man is by nature a mystic” and believes that the anniversary of a holy man is the most opportune time to plead to G-d for health, livelihood, a career, spouse, and children. Why? The souls of the righteous return to their earthly tombs on their yahrtzeit and allow themselves to be used as vehicles to expedite prayers. It is in this context that the righteous are still referred to as “living” even after death and, on the basis of a Mishna’s advice to “warm yourselves by the fire of the Sages,” hundreds and thousands of Jews warm themselves by dance and feast around enormous bonfires at his gravesite, a mystical magnet, or by bonfires lit throughout the countryside. Fire and Rashbi? What’s the connection?

Fire can be seen and felt but not grasped or touched. Rashbi was known as Botzina Kadisha, the “Holy Lamp,” and the term (Zohar) he coined for his ideas means “shining,” a flicker of light that is still visible in every synagogue via a solitary “eter-

the whimsical Shalom Aleichem calls “Nature’s telephone” – and adds, “If a horse with four legs can sometimes stumble, how much more a man with only one tongue?” The saintly Chofetz Chaim was not so flippant. Expanding on the

Lag B’Omer’s lesson could not be any clearer: Division divides, the whole is weakened, spiritual defenses are down when Jew is pitted against Jew.

nal flame” (ner tamid) that shines above the Ark as both a reminder of the Temple’s menorah and an ohr bracha, a light of blessing. Jewish history credits Rashbi’s five surviving disciples as being the couriers of this light of Torah through the darkness of history, convinced that their mentor’s “hidden” esoteric wisdom was “a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

he mystical heirs of Rashbi’s teachings see the bonfires as a symbol of Judaic unity, noting that in Hebrew ach, hearth or fire, also means “brother.” This brings me to the most challenging aspect of Lag B’Omer; the death of Rabbi Akiva’s students that came to a halt on this 33rd day is an incomprehensible “sentence” for their misbehavior of disrespect and disharmony. So massive was this collective transgression that the sefira mourning period exceeds that of the Three Weeks. How many died? We don’t know. The numbers range from 24,000 to 12,000 to 48,000 to three hundred. What was the cause of their deaths? Rabbi Nachman blames a lethal disease called askara, a croup-like vocal ailment that can cause diphtheria, death-via-throat. This led Rabbi Shmuel Eliezer Edels (Maharsha), the legendary Talmudist from Kraków, Poland, to make a stunning accusation: the students of Rabbi Akiva were guilty of lashon hara, “evil gossip” – an activity that

Rambam’s conclusion that “talebearers can destroy the world,” he considered lashon hora to be a triple-killer, slaying teller, hearer, and subject. The Tzartkover Rebbe was so afraid of the slip of the tongue that for an extended period he refused to give a sermon, explaining to his confused chassidim, “There are seventy ways to teach Torah, and one of the paths is through silence.” It was, writes Rabbi Pinchas Stolper, alumnus of Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner, prolific author, and of NCSYfame, in gratitude to the plague’s cessation that Lag B’Omer became a celebratory day of tribute and homage to life, “an oasis of joy, in the midst of a sad period.” But wait! This linkage made several major Torah personalities highly uncomfortable. Consider Rabbi David Halevi, the brilliant 17 th century scholar who brought us Turei Zahav (“Rows of Gold”), who frowned on associating Lag B’Omer with the tragic afflictions that tormented Rabbi Akiva’s world, so he pushed the fast-forward button and pinned the 33rd day of the omer to the pogroms of the First Crusade that wiped entire German-French Jewish communities off the map, and to Bogdan Chmielnicki’s Cossack wholesale butchery of Jews in 1648-9 (gezerot taḥ ve-tat). Why these two tragedies? Both occurred during the sefira period. But Rabbi Moses Schreiber (Chasam Sofer), the powerful Rav and head of Pressburg, Bratislava, the most influential yeshiva in Cen-

tral Europe’s early 19th century, disagreed. The Chasam Sofer brushed aside the concept of “calamity linkages” and saw the celebratory aspect of Lag B’Omer as recognition of the first life-saving manna that dropped from the skies to sustain the Jews in the desert. How did he arrive at this conclusion? By the same methods Rav Moshe Isserles used: math. Since the fast-food supply (matzah) from Egypt only lasted until Iyar 14, the end of the Pesach timeframe (hence its choice as Pesach Sheni), the Jews went hungry for three days from the 15th to the 17 th, complained, and the manna appeared the following day: Iyar 18, Lag B’Omer! For those of you who read Judaeo-Spanish (i.e.: Ladino), the traditional Torah view can be found in a sefer from R’ Yaakov Culi titled Me’am Lo’ez (1730), a commentary on Tanach written for the Jews of Turkey, Spain, Morocco, and Egypt. R’ Culi traces the reasons to an indictment of Rabbi Akiva’s students for ignoring R’ Eleazer ben Azaria’s advice to treat each other with respect. What makes this allegation so shocking is the extraordinary ethical qualities of their great teacher who taught that to “love your fellow as you love yourself” was the overriding principle in the Torah. And yet, after 24 years of teaching, Rabbi Akiva was suddenly stripped of his students. His dream had turned into such a nightmare that he warns the next generation, “be not like them.” The paradox of thousands of yeshiva students being led by the greatest rosh yeshiva in Jewish history being accused of such a lack of derech eretz to end up slain by Divine Will has caused many a scholar into a theological cul-de-sac. How is this possible? Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the seventh and last Lubavitcher Rebbe, links the students’ internecine disrespect to their inability to agree on the interpretation of Rabbi Akiva’s words of Torah. Rather than agreeing to disagree, they argued with venom; a behavior that reflected poorly on the whole spectrum of Torah and G-d. The rabbis of the Talmud viewed Lag B’Omer as a devastating reminder of how a house divided could lead

get the best view of the lighting of the fire of Ruzhin unity.

n a speech last week on Yom HaZikaron laShoah ve-laGvura (“Holocaust and Heroism Remembrance Day”), the Deputy Chief of Staff of the IDF, Maj-Gen. Yair Golan, expressed deep concern that the disunity in Israeli society is similar to the pre-Holocaust atmosphere

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Joe Bobker, alumnus of Yeshivas HaRav Kook in Jerusalem, is the former publisher and editor-in-chief of the Los Angeles Jewish Times, author of the popular Torah With a Twist of Humor and the 18-volume “Historiography of Orthodox Jews and the Holocaust,” the first of which, “War Against the Rabbis: Hitler’s Assault Against Judaism,” will be published this year around Shavuos. Mr. Bobker can be reached at jbobker@ gmail.com.

MAY 26, 2016

POSTSCRIPT

in Central and Eastern Europe. He confessed he was “frightened of the growing callousness and indifference” of Jews towards other Jews who are not like them. He called for society to make use of Holocaust remembrance to “nip the buds of intolerance and the buds of self-destruction.” His warning, on the eve of Lag B’Omer, is timely. When the early kabbalists eagerly compared the Jewish folk to a sefer Torah they understood that a Torah had no holiness within it unless all of its letters were complete and whole. Similar was their attitude towards the Jewish people; it maintained its strength only when it was complete and whole, otherwise it suffocated the dreams and hopes of Jewish destiny. A house divided was a ghastly Jewish calamity and affliction. Somehow, in the decades leading up to the Third Reich’s twelve year (1933–1945) whirlpool of madness, murder, and mayhem this lesson had gone seriously astray. The European branch of the House of Jacob, the largest in the Jewish world at the time and the center of Torah gravity, was hopelessly divided. Constant squabbling drowned out the sounds of German jackboots and the ominous flapping’s of giant swastikas just over the horizon. Rabbi Akiva’s basic etiquette of Judaism, of “getting along,” was conspicuously absent, replaced by a widespread culture of distrust, division, and conflict – all social cancers from within. Lag B’Omer’s lesson could not be any clearer: Division divides, the whole is weakened, spiritual defenses are down when Jew is pitted

against Jew. General Golan’s concern was that of Rabbi Aharon (“Reb Arele”) Rokeach, the deeply spiritual fourth Belzer Rebbe, an extraordinarily disciplined Jew whose piety and humility made him incapable of ever making a negative comment about another Jew. As World War I was exploding around him, Rav Rokeach appealed to the community, “One must engender unity and keep far away from anything that causes disunity. The salvation of Israel during times of trouble rests on this.” When the hostilities finally ended, Rabbi Shmuel Bornstein, the Sochatchover Rebbe, looked around him at the devastation of thousands of Jewish communities. “Our strength lies in being unified with the larger image, Klal Yisrael,” he concluded, “if we are one Am Yisrael we are chai vekayam – invincible and overpowering. If we are divided, we are stricken by fear and panic and we fall, tripping over our faults.” Rav Bornstein made the pursuit of a collective harmony a goal for the rest of his life. But it was too enormous a task for one man. By the time Hitler’s wrath burst upon Polish Jewry on September 1, 1939, the idea of Jewish unity was nothing more than a pipe dream. Something was clearly amiss. Gone was the famous saying from Proverbs, “[The Torah’s] ways are ways of pleasantness and all its paths are peace.” In its place was a climate of disrespect that raged as out of control as a wild brushfire; the traditional brotherly battle cry of ahavas Yisrael had been replaced by an irreconcilable self-imposing screech: United We Fall! This is the eternal lesson of Lag B’Omer.

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to unbridled catastrophe, and designated this day as a reminder of a martyred generation of outstanding Jewish leaders who displayed enormous courage by risking their lives to maintain the study of Talmud under a turbulent Roman governorship. Because of this disunity, Lag B’Omer bonfires are also reminders of the importance of shalom and harmony among Jews. This is why Rabbi Yisroel of Rizhin, der heiliger Ruzhiner of the 19th century Ukraine and Austria, the first and only Ruzhiner Rebbe (his sons and grandsons’ dynasties come under the “House of Ruzhin” umbrella), bought, at great expense, the right in perpetuity to light Meron’s main bonfire, an asset of brotherhood that he willed to his descendants as an eternal inheritance. If you’re in Meron this week, I suggest you go in a black beketshe. It’s a good time of the year to be a Boyan chassid. The rooftops of Meron are “unofficially” reserved for the hundreds of Boyaner chassidim who

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MAY 26, 2016

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With One Week to Go, Jewish Business World Gears Up for J-Biz Expo By: Shimmy Blum

Businesses and entrepreneurs from across North America, Europe, Israel and beyond are putting the finishing touches on their plans for the coming Wednesday, June 1st, when they will be participating in the J-Biz Expo and Business Conference at the New Jersey Convention and Exposition Center, which is a close distance from all major metro area Jewish communities and transportation hubs. This loaded daylong event has two features, each one a potentially life altering attraction of its own. What is especially unique about J-Biz is that it has a wealth of potential to offer just about everyone in our community who is a part of the business/professional world, or is aspiring to get there. From highly successful veterans to those at the transition stage, there is a wealth of promising resources and networking potential. Round trip transportation is offered from Boro Park, Flatbush, Williamsburg and Lakewood. Doors open at 9:00 am, and the massive B2B expo floor will be open throughout the day. At 10:00 am, the business conference will commence in its own designated section and will continue through early afternoon hours. The conference will feature a range of top-of-the-line business speakers, who are simultaneously intriguing and chock full of practical business advice. Attendees will have the opportunity to personally interact and follow up with the presenters. The speakers lineup includes Jason Dov Greenblatt, top adviser to Donald Trump, who will deliver an address and host a Q & A session, moderated by Dr. David Lieberman. Kivi Berhnard, whose “Leopardology” business approach has brought him events hosted by companies such as Microsoft, Coca Cola and UBS, will deliver the keynote address. Both Mr. Greenblatt and Mr. Bernhard are frum and intimately familiar with our community’s unique attributes and challenges. The main expo floor will offer a wealth of networking potential and other exciting business tools. A large diverse group of exhibitors - in various industries, from around the world

– will be showcasing their businesses and networking with attendees. New relationships will be forged, and existing relationships will be fortified. These relationships will help you find a wealth of new customers and resources, and enable countless businesses and careers to get to the next level. Adding a ton of excitement and zest to the expo floor will a live business game show at its center, featuring tons of Q & As about business throughout exposition hours. This show is both exciting and informative, and can be attended at the leisure of each attendee. Other attractions, in addition to the business exhibitors, are live workshops, and one-on-one coaching/consulting opportunities, throughout the floor. As in previous years, a comprehensive “Women in the Workforce” program offers a wealth of networking resources for women attendees. “The secret of J-Biz’s success is the ‘P2P,’ person to person, aspect of B2B networking,” explains Duvi Honig, founder and director of J-Biz and its host organization, the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce (OJC). “The ability to personally meet and exchange ideas with motivated people you would ordinarily not meet, remains the most effective way to win new clients and discover new resources.” The grand finale of J-Biz will be “The Accelerator” panel, where a team of savvy investors will question prescreened presenters who have innovative business proposals, and negotiate investment offers. The entertainment and learning experience provided by the program cannot be overstated. “J-Biz is there to serve as a global community umbrella to help individuals and businesses advance through innovative tools,” says Mr. Honig. “I look forward to personally greeting attendees at our greatest event ever.” For more information about scheduling, event registration, transportation and more, please visit www. jbizexpo.com.

energize the business world. Keynote Speaker Kivi Bernhard Award Winning Speaker Author of Leopardology

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Q&A Conference Session Jason Greenblatt Chief Legal Officer for The Trump Organization

Moderated by: David Lieberman, Ph.D.,

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MAY 26, 2016

Parenting Parenting that Child By Dr. Schondorf

Pesach has come and gone and it’s back to work, school and the daily grind. While it was certainly nice: the Seder, time off from work, more family together-time; for many of us, getting back to routine comes with an element of relief. It is nice spending more time with our kids but sometimes… well, you know what I mean. Here’s a case in point: The whole family has been looking forward excitedly to that long awaited trip to the zoo. After all the planning and discussing, the big day finally arrives. The family is off and everything proceeds smoothly with everyone having a great time. Figuring it would be a nice treat, Dad spontaneously offers to treat everyone to ice cream. Everyone scrambles to the kiosk freezer with big smiles. Then the inevitable

happens. That child begins to scream and fight and wreck an otherwise pleasant family outing. All because there are no chocolate cones. But both parents know that the eruption is not about ice cream. It could just have well been about something else, it was just a matter of time. But it is always that child! He can’t seem to go along with the otherwise pleasant family dynamic and he always manages to ruin things! And on it goes, again and again the entire week; that one child always seems to mess everything up and put things over the top. So yes, it is any wonder that there is an element of (guilty?) relief when he is finally back in school? Most families that I have encountered, both in and out of my practice,

have at least one such child. They struggle with this child on two levels. One level is practical: What am I supposed to do with him (or her)? The methods that work just fine for the other kids do not work with him. The other level is emotional. When someone is struggling with a difficult child, there is often a storm of emotions that come along with it: frustration, anger, criticism etc.… Aside from negative feelings towards the child, there can also be negative feelings toward those negative feelings. What kind of parent am I that I feel this way towards my child?! These emotions are not only draining, they also make it more difficult for the parent to respond to the child the way he really wants. When a couple comes for counselling around a challenging child, it is important for

both levels to be addressed. As parents, we love our children and care about them deeply. While working on our parenting is not always easy, it is extremely rewarding, and a precious gift to give to our children. Wishing one and all much joy from the entire family! Raphael Schondorf M.Sc. is a certified individual and family therapist in private practice in Modiin Illit and Yerushalayim. He provides personally tailored therapy in a genuine, caring and supportive atmosphere and specializes in the treatment of men and teens on a wide range of issues including family and relationship issues, abuse, anxiety, trauma and addictions. He can be reached at 011972-52-765-3978 and rbschondorf@ gmail.com.

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The Best Israeli Salad

makes 6-8 servings | can make ahead | active time: 20 minutes

Preperation: Mix all ingredients and serve either at room temperature or chilled.

MAY 26, 2016

A chopped Israeli Salad is all about using what's on hand, and what you enjoy eating. That makes it the quintessential Queen in the Kitchen kind of recipe. Basic Israeli Salad consists of tomatoes, cucumber and onion and fresh herbs. The herbs must be fresh. (O.K, I confess, dried dill is almost as good, so if you aren't going to use fresh then at least add some dried dill.) It is a very flexible salad so have some fun to experimenting with the variations below. Israeli Salad is usually served along with other salads featuring fresh Mediterranean vegetables. Ingredients: 4 small plum tomatoes, chopped 2 cucumbers, peeled and chopped 3 scallions, cut in 1/2" slices 1/2 cup parsley, finely chopped 1/2 cup fresh mint, dill, cilantro or a mix of these, finely chopped 4 tablespoons olive oil 1 juice of one large lemon 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon pepper

Now for the fun...try some of these variations to suit your taste, pantry, and pocketbook: a chopped pickle | a handful of sliced olives | a couple of stalks of celery, the leaves are good, too | a drizzle of honey | a tablespoon of zaatar | a smidgen of Yemenite szchug

How to make Bonfire Cupcakes

You'll need: cupcakes*, white icing, red and orange food coloring, a small plastic sandwich bag and thin pretzels or cookie sticks. Steps: 1. To plain frosting in a bowl, add a few drops each of red and orange food coloring. Stir gently. The idea is to marbleize rather than blend the colors.Â 2. Spoon icing into the plastic bag and snip a small hole in a corner.Â 3. Squeeze frosting in center of cupcake, making an upward spiral. 4. Using the pretzel or cookie sticks, "build" the bonfire around the icing. A cute touch is to place rock shaped candies around the base of the fire.

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It seems like there is a cupcake for just about every Jewish holiday these days and why not? They are easy to serve, fun for the kids and adults alike, cupcakes just make us smile.

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