How To Help Yourself and Your Children Through the Tragedy in Meron

By Dr. Norman N Blumenthal

We have all heard of the tragic circumstances that have unfolded in Meron, Israel. We all join together in grieving over the loss of life and with heartfelt prayers for those who have been injured.

While in no way diminishing our worry and concern, it is essential that we and our children process the information in a fashion that promotes love and concern without undue trauma and destabilization. The following are some general guidelines offered with a full awareness that responses to tragedy are as varied and unique as we are as individuals.

General Considerations:

• During airplane safety instructions, we hear that you should take oxygen for yourself before your children, so you’re better able to help them. So, too, in this tragedy. Parents and teachers should address their own worries and concerns before trying to help their children • Traumatic events especially close to home or community have to varying degrees a “secondary” impact on all of us. • Many well-adjusted adults and children will feel tense and upset, especially with photos so readily available today through online media. This is very normal and speaks to our connection with others. • Oftentimes, the most effective antidote to derailing your fear is to discuss your thoughts and feelings with others. Merely speaking about our emotions and fears makes them more manageable and contained. • Those who have loved ones in Israel or a history of past trauma are likely to feel or experience such troubling thoughts and associations more deeply, • Activities including prayer and charity can diminish one’s self of helplessness during periods of mishap and tragedy. • It is probably ill-advised right now to point accusatory fingers or look for culprits. • Both adults and children with pre-existing anxiety or comparable conditions are likely to experience more intense responses. So too may intellectually gifted children or those with much interest and curiosity about world events. • In contrast, no one should feel critical of themselves or others if their reactions are more unemotional or subdued. Just as we differ in so many ways, some people are by nature more rational or stoic

Pre-School-Aged Children

• At this age in particular, they should be insulated from the often graphic depictions available via the internet. • Children under the age of 6 will have an awareness of tragedy but a more limited understanding of its scope. • Children these ages often do not understand death, especially its permanence and finality. • Their awareness of worry and distress in the adults around them may evoke fear about their own safety and security. These children may also express their worry through mis-