TJH Centerfold

Stuck in Camp Mode?

If you exhibit four or more of the following signs, you are stuck in camp mode and are having a hard time integrating yourself back into society at large

 You bring your own jar of pickles to the Shabbos table.

 When your father brings out the ices, you attack him.

 Right when you wake up in the morning you immediately run to see if the day’s activities are posted on the fridge.

 When your father says it’s time to bench, you jump up on the chair (that your mother just reupholstered).

 You brush your teeth once in 60 days and think that you should get a trophy.

 When you want a cup of ice, you tell your mother that you think you sprained your finger.

 You sleep with a flyswatter.

 You show up at your sister’s wedding wearing Natives.

 When your mother tells you to make your bed, you ask, “Why? Is tomorrow visiting day?”

 You eat three hot pretzels for supper (which is the only meal of the day)

Riddle Me This

Miriam, her sister, her daughter, and her son are playing volleyball. Miriam’s sister is directly across the net from her son. Miriam’s daughter is diagonally across the net from the best player’s sibling. The best player and the worst player are on the same side of the net. Who is the worst player?

Answer:

 You wonder why your family looks at you strangely when you wear the same clothing for six days in a row.

 When you see a chair with a back support on it, you think it may be one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

 When it’s raining outside, you take soap and shampoo and shower outdoors (because you are so funny).

 You don’t like going from the front of your house to the backyard…because you hate walking up “the hill.”

 You take Laffy Taffys from the family’s nosh cabinet and store them under your bed.

 When your mother asks you why you insist on wearing a blue shirt every day, you respond, “Blue rocks, red stinks!”

 When you see someone replacing the garbage bag, you say, “Hey, I didn’t know those things are replaceable!”

The worst player is Miriam’s sister. Draw a diagram, putting Miriam’s sister and son directly across the net from each other. It doesn’t matter whether they’re on the left or the right side of the diagram. Now, try putting Miriam’s daughter on the same side as the sister. The daughter will be diagonally across from the son (the best player’s sibling), meaning that the best player is the daughter. Since the daughter (the best player) is on the same side as the sister, the sister must be the worst player. If you put Miriam’s daughter next to the son, then Miriam will be the best player, but the sister will still be the worst.